#maybe its bc i dont write much?
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writertok annoys me i dont know why
porbably bc its full of writers wrting like novels and such
which isnt a bad thing
but it feels like productivity is a big thing there and all in all feels
off
#maybe its bc i dont write much?#mayeb its my ahtred of tiktok and of book tok#i have no idea#my imposter sydorme?#its just all heres writing tips here s fantasy stuff heres how to self publish heres me writing a shiton i dont know why im so irked#book tok#writer tok#booktok#writertok#AAAAAAA#ahoys thoughts
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DAY 71: shy
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#isabeau isat#isat spoilers#i'll never get over loop being described as 'shy'. what a wonderful image#top one casual remarks from isabeau that cleaves loop's facade#like loop's personality is just a targeted missile to piss siffrin off. they're not at all confident and snarky#they're doing like the physical manifestation of winning an argument against yourself in the shower#second they see the party though Oopsies we're in scary territory. That's your family and they dont know it's you Oops#ok anyways ever since i saw that post i was like damn. this is just how i view loop in party postcanon#for as much as I think they SHOULD go explore around and be their own person for a while i think realistically they would not do that.#theyre going to go be a weird freak hovering around the party and refusing to socialize with anyone but siffrin and theyre gonna feel awful#(read: they're going to antagonize siffrin and it fails tremendously bc now The Rumor Come Out and siffrin knows what loop is doing.)#like loop as much as they can barely stand to even look at isabeau (for instance) i think their claws are sunk far too deep in.#onehats maybe the circumstances are different because there is a gap in understanding. there's no point forcing siffrin to confront the#obvious conclusion that loop is them (and thus siffrin's happy ending nails loop's coffin)#(THIS IS IGNORING TWOHATS PREREQS GOTTEN ONEHATS. BC THATS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS)#but twohats. idk. for as much as it lets loop release some of their rage and process their feelings a bit. i think it might also be the pus#that makes loop consider their own existence as a person a bit more. theyre not a sponsor->corpse theyre just loop#theyre just somebody who wants desperately. they want to stay with them#theyre still siffrin. if also loop.#i think loop would force themself to reconnect with the party in the same vein as siffrin forcing himself to communicate more.#but of course having conviction and living an experience are not the same thing. so siffrin's going to flounder the emotional honesty thing#tremendously and loop's going to be. blair witching it in the corner.#hey i might have forgotten which post i was writing the tags under. oopsies#idk if these tags are comprehensible at all. i just really want to see loop fail upwards into friendship with everyone
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"to even give people the mere chance of starting to understand how you feel about this character and this story you made up around them you have to actually draw that comic, you are at chapter 2, even just the rough draft for it took you a year despite your best efforts on being faster"
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#i am#at least right now and sleep depreived#feeling so much about demise again#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#no one can understand it all unless i draw it alll#why am i so slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww#theres so manythigns that happens so far into the story and i cant reveal yet bc it wouldnt have any impact#and spoil it#even thoguh i dont think its all good enough that spoiling it would do anything#maybe the wait isnt worth it idk#but i wanna yell about my blorbo#so much feelings argh#and theres ALSO so much lore that wont come up at all in the comic#i dont know why i have it and i dont know what to do with it#all those backgrounds make the characters into what they are#but its not relevant enough to put it into the main story#AND IM SO SLOW ANYWAY#ARGH#you could ask me about any of the characters in destiny (my comic not the game ..) and i could write half a novel
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nickel and balloon would be so much more interesting if people explored the way nickel became everything awful that balloon used to be but so much worse ironically all in the name of "protecting" everyone from that history repeating. and not softboy tsundere yaoi or whatever is going on in those tags rn
#meeple.txt#inanimate insanity#iii they could so easily make me hate you.#nickloon arc was the worst thing to ever come out of iii#unnecessarily long and stupid and hilariously poorly written#i actually feel insane seeing how many people just accept it at face value as The Canon#i know it Is canon but i dont care. Heart❤️#we need to bring back the fandom energy of collectively rejecting the shitty writing#nickloon arc did not happen its ok. take my hand#in my heart nickel digs himself a deeper hole of denying he did any wrong and everyone at most tolerates him#fits his character built up by s2 so much better and parallels other characters too#somewhere deep in his head i feel like he knows hes wrong. but by god it should not have been that easy to ''fix'' him#hes going to deny it until it kills him bc that means facing any regret or deeper feelings he doesnt wanna deal with#and that means admitting he made mistakes which is a huge blow to his ego#and his Cool Tough Leader personality#hes not gonna give that up so easily#and i dont think its in character for him to change within the timeframe of the show tbh . at least with the time they have left now#thats like a post canon Maybe to me#the only way ill accept it really
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Dogstock are typical of what are often deemed the ‘evil’ races in many other fantasy works. They were created by some higher force to be slaves, they are carnivorous by nature, they resemble animals other than human in dentition and build. They growl and bite and walk behind.
The Uhasr (a dogstock culture) are descendants of such slave-infantry that was abandoned when the empire that used them to capture the steppes decided the land wasn’t so profitable after all, and more pressing matters drew their attention elsewhere. Like tools left spent on the ground, the unneeded, excess dogstock were left to survive on their own in Hochkiskuph. The native peoples, of course, did not welcome them any more, or see them any less as oppressors when the hand released the lead. To the Hochkiskuph peoples, the Uhasr are a predatory ghost, an echo that consumes them even in absentia. To the Uhasr, one human is much like another, differing in number and equipment, but never in essence. Uhasr are a species of wild animal with a human face. Humans are prey on two legs. Humans smoke and poison uncovered dens on principle, Uhasr abduct and consume men and women and children all the same.
A common trend I have noticed in media which aims to humanize monsters, is that it often relies on passivity. Humanity is contingent upon kindness. The monster that is A Person only so long as they are a harmless thing at heart, something which can be understood and befriended. Their violence is reluctant, their hearts noble. Grace is a concession to the dominated. Only the toothless beast, declawed and pinioned and caged, is one which has earned its personhood. The ontological enemy supersedes the ontological man.
#haven't posted them much (all wips) but been thinking about the sphinxish people in my setting. same world as thrones#different part of the continent like 2 whole seas away#this is inspired by a shitty comic a friend is reading and also thinking some of the writing in the long way to a small angry planet re#hostile aliens really really sucked.#i want to talk abt this more so im posting it if you have thoughts i would like to hear themmmmm#i'm very cynical about this kind of stuff lmao#dogstock#im also reading tollkien rn so im thinking about ORCS#i dont actually like the lotr trilogy all that much but not even bc i think the writing is bad i just think its kinda boring. sorry.#thats not a very interesting reason to not like something i dont even think its not good im just not super entertained. rip#like not saying there is no issue with it at all writing wise there is very much to say abt how it is utterly and uncritically#white good black bad fair elves and dark orcs and shit like that#but i've liked things more that have bigger issues. hi pern. maybe i just like shlock! idk!#rambling. im keyed up hi#the gibberish in spookygibberish
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my n1 guilty pleasure is thinkin that post m2 lauretta moved deeper into criminal after several years & ended up sentenced to jail somewhere in the middle of 1970s
#sorry... had to say it. maybe i just want her to run a brothel&etc somewhere out of empire bay and#giving interviews and shit and she's in her 60+s. and ofc it's a furor. and she enjoys it (more than?) a bit#yk i just was writing texts for SC for m2 women some time ago#and im sorry .. in my delusional head if she got the chance to be in charge; havin the same amount of power#as carlo she'd be so much worse than him (<- here it means better i suppose)#i mean if she'd end up in criminal ofc she cant have an equal position it's clear etc#i just enjoy her being cruel and having no morals. why to let go all this#m2#also it'd be funny if eddie & lauretta'd keep in touch. both end up in jail#i need her to cause a furor genuinely. M4 could be if not exactly bout her#(i'm mentally bargaining w 2kczech) but at least takin place in her area of control#i remember some1 made a post like evil women in mafia series when#Here she is. Here's the woman#sorry. i may be cringe but i had to say it bc i sometimes think bout it since spring#michelle gurevich makes me think bout lauretta its like a ring bell for Pavlov's dogs#Where is this tt sound. “I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! i dont care about homeless fucking people!”#<- lauretta in my eyes#i also need her w wrinkles n greying hair so bad. im a weak person. im lying i need everything above so bad#*picture of a cat w wet eyes*
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My yap session dynamics that are hard to read without zooming in. sorry
#clemart#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#Mac Opsys#Winn Dos#Professor Pete#Brian ttcc#Prethinker#not tagging the brianbots bc i drew that in like 1 minute at most#hesitant on tagging this as schoolhouse rock bc i think that has an actual fandom and i dont want to impede on what they have going on#much respect to them#maybe i need to rename their group. ANYWAYS#these are all super summarized especially between mac and brian#technically ive already posted about my thoughts on the dynamic between brian and the brianbots but youknow#idkkk hangs my head low#i was writing some of this and going ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS ITS NEVER THAT SERIOUS#i can imagine anything#i was going to put them under a readmore but no. we die like men#theres also definitely some typos. sorry in advance#Okay looking at this the day after and I got embarassed again. Toontown is not this serious be kind to me
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It's just still brainrotting me so badly, LIKE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!?!?!
#its so funny bcs i originally just looked up this parc ferme bcs the pics of them hugging#and then was hit with this#and was having a mental breakdown to c in the dms#BECAUSE SERIOUSLYYYY#ik that gif is super slowed dwon but like honestly in the full speed clip he really keeps his hands there for a while#AND ITS JUST SOOOOOOK#and the way he curls his hand back from resting on seb's lower back like ah maybe this is too much#BUT STILL KEEPS HIS HAND ON SEB'S HIP OKAY!#and like how seb is bending down further after to put his wheel away#but then it makes it so hes even closer to fernando 🫠😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫🫠🫠🫠#maybe i will draw/write car sex about this i dont know#its just so potent to me 😭😭😭#the fsct that theres no pics of this either#all the photographers are like yeah nah i cant be posting this#BUT COULD YOU IMAGINE IF THERE WERE!?#and also he kinda pats him on the hip a bit i didnt notice 😵💫😵💫#HE WANTS HIS HUGGGGGGGG OKAYYYYYYYYY#he wants to mount him- huh what who said that#anyways: so many thoughts#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#there was some other post i meant to finish tonight but didnt so this will be my pre-quali random post LOL#we do a little bit of f1
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I need people to realize how horrible 'stalking/constant surveillance/breaking into each other's homes is how the Batfamily show love' is. Like i really need someone to just acknowledge how horrific saying this bullshit is.
Like even fics where they're shown as happy and healthy and with good ties, you've always got this thing where none of them have privacy or any boundaries with each other. Which is directly antithetical to actually having good relationships. And this invasion via hacking and stalking and breaking into homes is portrayed as a positive, good thing; it's just how they show love and care to each other, after all. But for some reason I just personally don't find stalking, lack of privacy or boundaries, and emotional manipulation funny, endearing, or healthy, and just end up disgusted at the attempt to sweep it all under the rug.
#my dc posting#dc#batman#batfamily#jason todd#barbara gordon#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#listen i can only take so much of it before i just breakdown okay#apparently controversial opinion but a family where its normal to vreak into each others homes and manipulate each other and stalk and#invade boundaries and autonomy and privacy can NOT be healthy#no matter how much you try to dress it up all cute w 'this is just how they are' 'its how they show their love' its never not gonna be#unhealthy and bad and toxic#like yeah they do do that. they are like that. either acknowledge it or stop trying to justify it#god this actually irks me so much#i try to idk. suspend my disblief but theres only so much i can actuallt fucking take before just#its just. im trying to read happy fluffy fics. but i cant be comforted by a family that normalizes breaking boundaries n invading privacy#and its specifically that the author aleays disregards it. instead of fixing it or making it better they opt to keep it and come up w excuse#s for it#and thats what actually triggers me#'i broke into ur house cus if i asked if i could come over ud say no' is actuallt fucking horrifying stop trying to make it seem loving???#im writing this while having a panic attack dont mind me 👍#but its like. if you can write the batfam w/o bruce hitting his kids or any other horrific thing that they do#then why must you keep the boundary&privacy breaking? why cant anyone even seemingly try to write a batfam#where theyve worked their issues abt this out best they can n have healthy established boundaries w each other??#like if u can write them all hanging out together 24/7 n bruce being s good dad why is this one simple thing the One Thing#nobody even tries to address properly???#'aw dick broke into jason's saehouse bc he wanted to hangout but jason would say no if he asked' aw. maybe dick should learn 'no means no'
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writing a fic abt rick having an ed bcs why would i recover when i can just project all my issues onto fictional old men in cartoons and pretend everythings better now ‼️
tw eating disorder, minor self harm and vomit near the end
Morty stopped in the open doorway of the garage, watching Rick who was sat scribbling down some kind of invention idea, or equation, or whatever it was he did when Morty wasn't around, for all Morty knew he might well be writing fanfiction.
An involuntary smile pulled at his lips at the idea of his almost 70 year old genius grandfather spending his free time writing silly little stories at his work bench. What would he even write? Ball Fondlers fanfic? Maybe he wrote about his stoic bird friend, Rick had always been touchy with him and Rick wasn't touchy with anyone.
When Morty focused back on Rick he wasn't writing anymore, the slightly crumpled piece of paper shoved to the side as he fiddled with what looked like a small metal box with a bunch of brightly coloured wires poking out of the sides. A small spark shot out of one of the wires Rick was holding and he cursed loudly, shaking his hand.
"Fuck, Morty, are you just gonna– gonna stand there, or are you gonna pass me the fucking, uh– the thing."
Rick waved his hand in the general direction of the shelf nearest to Morty, but there were so many assorted trinkets on the shelves, Morty had no idea if Rick wanted a wrench, or a hammer, or one of his laser guns, maybe the box was like a new battery for them?
"W-what thing, Rick?"
"The thing, Morty! The fucking– the uh, destornillador."
"What? Rick, I don't know what that means. W-w-what is that?"
"Jeez, Morty, what are they teaching you at that crap school you love so much?" Rick scowled, tossing the box to the side and getting up to grab the screwdriver himself.
"I havent been to school in like a month, Rick!" Morty exclaimed. "And even then I only got to stay for like an hour before you were dragging me out again!"
"Whatever." Rick said with a burp, "School's dumb, Morty. I'll teach you Spanish myself. B-but, uh, not now."
He turned back to his box, done with the conversation, but Morty stayed hovering in the room, remembering what he had come for in the first place.
"Okay, um, w-w-well lunch is ready."
"I'm busy."
Morty sighed, having expected that answer already. "When's the last time you ate, Rick? Or slept? Or... showered?" Morty said, wrinkling his nose a little.
Rick ignored him, pulling at a blue wire.
"Rick!" Morty frowned.
"What, Morty? J-jesus christ, what the fuck do you want?"
"I want you to have lunch with the family."
"And I said no, so screw off."
"Rick, come on, it would make mom so happy."
Rick glared at him, not bothering with an answer.
"...Wouldn't y-you do it for your original Beth if you could?" Morty tried.
Rick slammed the box on the table, causing the thin metallic shell to crack, sparks flying from it, the sudden noise making Morty jump.
"The fuck did you just say?" Rick snarled.
"S-s-sorry!" Morty squeaked. "I didn't m-mean– mean it in a bad way!"
"Get the fuck out." Rick said icily, eyes blazing.
Morty stumbled out of the room, shutting the door behind him to the sound of something crashing. Probably Rick throwing the damaged box across the room.
Morty winced. In his defense he was worried about Rick, and sometimes, depending on his mood, something like that would've gotten Rick to cave, clearly he wasn't feeling so sentimental today, more annoyed and angry.
"What was that about?"
Morty startled a little and turned to see Summer looking at her phone behind him.
"Just, y'know, Rick being... Rick."
"Mhm, pro tip, don't bring up his dead daughter to try and blackmail him into something he hates." Summer drawled. "You can only do that if he's already half convinced, or if he's feeling especially depressed sometimes.
"Summer! That's– that's messed up!"
She quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah, so only you can manipulate grandpa Rick?" Summer scoffed. "God forbid women do anything." She said sarcastically and turned to walk away.
"Wait!" Morty fidgeted with his hands. "Can you... help me? To get him to have lunch w-with us? Please?"
"Yes, but not now. He's already upset so if we double down on trying to get him to eat he's only gonna clam up."
Morty nodded. "I know that– but how do you? You don't spend as much time with Rick as I do."
"Because he's like mom. Who do you think got her to stop drinking before parent-teacher conferences at school?"
"Wow. That's pretty fucked up that you had to do that, though, y'know, Summer."
"Yeah, well, we're the Smiths, Morty. Is anyone in this house not disordered?"
Morty winced at the blunt statement, Rick really was rubbing off on her. But it was kind of true.
"Guess it runs in the family." He muttered
"Guess it does."
---
Morty hadn't been planning on seeing Rick again until the next day. He knew that when Rick got upset he needed his space. Morty didn't quite get it because when he was upset all he wanted was for someone to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay, but Rick wasn't like him he supposed.
If he was being honest it made him nervous to leave Rick alone in those bad headspaces he got into. Rick was volatile and unpredictable and a borderline danger to himself and often others. He'd walked in on a couple... compromising situations where Rick had had to explain away why he was passed out in his chair or why there was blood on his hands and his lab coat despite being the only person in the room.
Morty pretended to believe him when he said he had been doing a messy dissection experiment or that "This isn't blood, this is Balorkian dust I mixed with red Squanchenite fluid from Planet Squanch, Morty." But truthfully those moments haunted him.
However, he didn't want to invade Rick's space, so he let him be and tried to eat and sleep until Rick emerged like nothing had happened, even though Morty knew what habits of his went on behind those closed doors.
Of course Morty's patience had it's limits, like when two hours after he had left Rick in the garage, angry, there was the sound of something smashing, closely followed by an unmistakable sound that Morty had grown too familiar with since Rick had moved in. The sound of a body thudding to the ground.
He was up from the sofa in a flash, at the garage door before Summer could even put down her phone, flinging it open.
He felt like he couldn't breathe, but the only sight that greeted him was a smashed bottle and rick lying on the floor next to it, not looking any more dead than usual, looking up at Morty blearily, cracking a smile.
"Oh, hi Morty. H-hey buddy." He slurred, clearly drunk out of his mind.
"Jesus fucking christ, Rick." Morty said weakly.
"What happened?" Summer breathed, now standing at his side.
"He's just drunk." Morty muttered, wrinkling his nose at the overpowering smell that he hadn't registered before between his state of panic and shallow breathing.
Summer ventured into the garage, picking up an empty bottle and sniffing it. "God, grandpa Rick, what the hell are you drinking in here, fucking rubbing alcohol?"
"Sum-Sum! 'M just having some– some fun drinks. Fun drinks just a lil' bit. Besides I only ever drank rub-rubbin' alcohol once, n' it was– tasted like shit."
"What? I was being sarcastic, why would you drink that?"
"Because I was sad... was sad 'nd lonely after B-b-blood Ridge, couldn't find anythin' else. But 'm not s-sad now."
"What's Blood Ridge?" Summer frowned, "Actually it doesn't matter right now, you need to sober up."
"Get him some water," Morty interjected. "I'll clean up the glass. I also know where he keeps all his hangover serums and stuff, but he told me not to let you into any of his drug stashes."
"Fair enough." Summer shrugged, leaving to get Rick some much needed water.
While she was gone, Morty felt along the wall until he found the small hidden panel under Rick's desk. He fished out the light blue vial of fluid for hangovers, the red one he'd forced Rick to make that would sober him up and a green one that basically equivalated to getting your stomach pumped if you took it, just in case he'd taken more than just alcohol.
He shut the panel securely and placed the three coloured vials on Rick's work bench, grabbing a purple tube-like gadget from a shelf. He pressed a button on the back of it and typed in "Broken Glass" on a small hologram keyboard that emerged, then pressed that first button again. A blue ray shot out, scanning the garage, and the pieces of smashed bottle disappeared in a matter of seconds.
Morty looked over at Rick, who was still lying on the floor, but now he was tracing his fingers along a crack in the cold ground, his expression so solemn he almost looked sober.
"Rick?" Morty asked hesitantly.
"I miss her." He said flatly. "I miss her s-so much."
His words were still a little slurred but his tone had lost all the previous levity.
"I tried to save her, Morty, I t-t-tried, but I couldn't bring her back. And no one could ever replace her." A rough sob escaped his throat. Morty felt frozen. "I'm a crappy fuckin'– piece of shit father but I didn't want to be. I was gonna fuckin' give– give up everything for them, and I would've been happy. I would've been so happy as long as I had them, but he fuckin' took that from me! I nnever even got a chance."
Rick was crying, he was crying so hard that his tears stained the concrete dark grey and snot ran down his face sideways. He was shaking like a leaf and gasping for air.
Morty crouched down next to him, fists clenching and unclenching, unsure if he should hug Rick, or if that would make it worse. What else could he do?
"Oh– oh shit, Rick, I–"
"My little girl, my baby." Rick continued between sobs. "She meant everything to me. S-so yeah, I would be better f-for her if I could, but she's gone. There's no point."
Rick's sudden fit of violent sobs was calming down, replaced by a look that Morty could only describe as pure hoplessness and defeat washing over his features.
"'S no point in anything."
Shit, this was bad. Rick didn't admit defeat, and he certainly didn't talk so openly about his feelings like this.
"Aw jeez, Rick, come on don't– don't– don't say that. we killed Rick Prime, remember?" Morty said, wringing his hands anxiously.
"Yeah, I remember." Rick said, tone now devoid of emotion. "I remember killin' him with my bare hands, watchin' the life drain out of his eyes as his blood dripped down my fists. And I remember nothing changing. W-w-what d'ya do when you achieve your life long goal and nothin's better? It didn't bring them back, it didn't– didn't give me closure or give me a reason to live. I still can't sleep, petrified he's in the fucking house, comin' for my new family, that he'll kill all of you to teach me that t-that's what happens when I-I care about people."
Rick wiped his face with his lab coat sleeve, rubbing away the snot, drool and dried tears while Morty just kneeled next to him, frozen and unsure what to say.
"Rick..." he started but then Summer stepped through the doorway and Rick's demeanour instantly changed.
"Summerfest!" he called out and Morty watched, a little shocked, as Rick's whole face changed in the blink of an eye, going back to the cheerful, goofy expression he'd been wearing when he and Summer first came in. It didn't look artificial to Morty at all, even now that he knew it was. How could Rick just switch it on and off just like that?
"I brought water and coffee." Was all Summer said, placing two mugs on the workbench. "And a cereal bar."
The second statement sounded a little more unsure and Morty could've sworn he saw Rick's jaw clench for a second.
"Gimmie coffee." Rick said, making grabby hands, still lying on the floor.
"Water first." Summer replied, handing him the larger of the two mugs.
Rick pouted a little but as soon as the mug was in his hands he drank thirstily, finishing the whole thing in one go.
"You want more?" Summer asked, taking the mug, but he just shook his head quietly.
"Okay," Morty cleared his throat when his voice came out a little shaky. "drink this."
He handed Rick the red 'get sober' vial and Rick chugged it obediently, making a face. "Tastes like– like shit." He offered.
While he seemed a little calmer after the water and serum, his eyes were still unfocused and his voice sounded thick, like his tongue didn't fit in his mouth properly, hints of his accent were slipping through too.
"Did you- are you on drugs r-right now?" Morty asked, reaching for the green vial of serum.
"Maybe." Rick mumbled. His eyelids were starting to droop a little and he curled up more comfortably on the floor.
"Hey, Rick, don't go to sleep okay? What did you take?" Summer asked, crouching down next to him, shaking him a little. He groaned. "Come on, we just have to make sure you're not overdosing and then you can sleep. Maybe not on the floor."
"'M not overdosing." Rick grumbled.
"What did you take?"
"I dunno. Just some random alien drugs I found i-in my pocket." He said dismissively with a burp. "Actually one of 'em was probably adderall. Look at me bein' all responsible an-and takin' my meds n' shit."
He of course immediately showed his 'responsibilty' by gagging and then throwing up on the floor.
Morty winced, reaching for the purple device again while Summer tried to coax him into drinking the green liquid, frowning deeply.
Finally Rick gave in, sipping from the small vial, and almost instantly his eyes began to clear up a little bit.
"Why'd I make these work so well?" He groaned. Then, "My head is killing me, I want coffee."
Summer passed him the second mug and he gestured toward the hangover serum, which Morty promptly passed to him and Rick poured it in his coffee.
He gulped down half the coffee and sighed, wiping his mouth with his already rather dirty sleeve. "Fuck, that's better."
He downed the rest of it and placed the mug on the ground, getting to his feet shakily. He swayed and nearly fell, leaning onto the wall to steady himself as the dizzy spell passed, and then stretched, his back cracking loudly.
He took a few wobbly steps towards the door but Summer blocked the way.
"Fuck– fuck off Summer I gotta– I'm gonna go take a nap."
"Could you maybe eat something first?" She asked firmly, holding up the cereal bar.
"No."
Rick tried to sidestep her but she blocked the way again.
"Summer, don't fucking piss me off right now, I'm serious."
She stood her ground. "Just eat the cereal bar, grandpa Rick. Please."
"Summer, for fuck's sake, I said no!"
"Grandpa," She sighed, the arm holding the bar dropping defeatedly back down to her side. "Do you have an eating disorder?"
The garage was deathly quiet for a second.
"Wha-What?! I'm not a teenage girl in a f-f-f– goddamn netflix drama, Summer." Rick snarled. "What the fuck kinda question is that?"
He gestured wildly, taking another step forwards, which quickly seemed to be the wrong option as a sudden wave of dizziness hit him hard, making him almost loose his balance. He blindly tried to grab onto the back of his chair somewhere behind him, but missed and fell on his ass.
"Rick!" Morty and Summer both rushed to his side, Morty's eyes beginning to well up a little from all the stress of the day.
"I'm fine, don't– don't fucking touch me." He said, shaking Summer's hand off his shoulder, which caused another wave of nausea to hit.
"Please eat this." Summer said nervously, voice shaking as she pushed the cereal bar into his left hand, his right one gripping at his hair.
"Summer, I promise you if I eat that shit right now I'm gonna throw the fuck up."
"Please?" Morty pouted, eyes big and teary.
All it took was one look at him, and with only a brief moment of hesitation Rick snatched the cereal bar from Summer, muttering angrily under his breath.
Morty only caught "Me cago en la puta." and "Maldito cabrón." which he more or less understood, more familiar with swear words than any other words in the Spanish language.
Rick peeled away the wrapper slowly with unsteady hands and took a small bite.
Morty and Summer watched in silence, not wanting to discourage him by saying the wrong thing—which with Rick could be anything—as Rick uncomfortably ate the cereal bar.
"There you fucking go." He said weakly, Throwing the now empty wrapper at Summer, but missing as it was too light to travel more than a couple centimetres, landing somewhere by his feet.
"Thank you." Summer almost whispered.
They sat in silence for a while, Morty sniffling and rubbing at his eyes and Summer shuffling a bit closer to him for both of their comfort.
Rick was sitting with his knees losely bent and his head braced in his hands, trying to overcome another hit of nausea.
He wouldn't exactly say he tried super hard to keep the cereal bar down, but it wasn't deliberate when he vomited it down the front of his shirt.
"Oh! Aw jeez..." Morty winced.
"I did warn you."
"In our defense, you had every reason to be lying to us."
"Fuck you, Summer." It sounded weak even to his own ears.
She sighed softly.
"Morty, get his shirt off. Do you have pijamas or do you sleep in jeans and a lab coat?"
"Jeans an-and a lab coat."
"...I was joking, but okay." Summer said, flipping the switch that opened Rick's garage closet and grabbing one of his sets of identical outfits.
Rick squirmed, making noises of complaint as Morty tried to take off his current shirt.
"Rick– stay still, you have vomit on your clothes."
"I'm not fucking two years old, Morty." He scowled. "I can change by myself."
Rick tried to sit up but wobbled and then slumped back against the wall, needing more time to recover. Morty reached for his shirt again and this time Rick let him pull it carefully up over his head without resisting. Morty took the new set of clothes from where Summer had left them on the floor next to him.
Summer wasn't looking but Morty still shielded Rick's body from sight with his own, pointedly not mentioning the raised scars and jagged, angry, red cuts littering his arms which he had already suspected would be there.
Rick shifted uncomfortably, seeming relieved when Morty didn't want to talk about it.
"Okay." Morty said, helping Rick pull on his clean lab coat too.
"I'm going to bed." Rick grumbled, not waiting for him to continue, just getting up slowly.
He felt weak and shaky and his brittle old bones weren't exactly helping out. Despite his thousands of cybernetic implants he was still human, much to his dismay, and he couldn't treat his body as badly as he did when he was 30. Not that that ever seemed to stop him, managing to still maintain the same shitty habits he'd had for years at the ripe age of 67.
He stumbled through the dining room, Morty and Summer trailing after him, not discouraged by the glare he sent their way.
As soon as he reached his room, he slumped onto his bed with a groan.
"R-rick?"
"Fuck off, Morty." He snapped into his pillow, a little muffled by it.
Morty hesitated, exchanging a glance with Summer, who shrugged.
"...Ookay, Rick. Uh, see– see you at dinner, today? maybe?'
"Don't count on it."
Summer frowned, Starting to say something, but Rick interrupted, "I'm gonna apply my room's Lock Protocols in ten seconds, so i-if you're still in here, I'm not letting you out until I'm done sleeping. A-a-and if you're standing in the doorway, you're gonna get fucking squashed in the doors."
"Whatever, Rick, fuck you too." Summer huffed, pulling Morty out of the doorway with her.
"Room, activate Sensory Protocol 2. And t-tell Summer to go fuck herself."
"Sensory Protocol 2 activated." Came the mechanical voice and a heavy metal door snapped shut. "Go fuck yourself, Summer."
Summer scoffed. "Dick." Followed by a sigh. "What are we gonna do?"
"I-I don't know." Morty admitted. "There's not much we can do if Rick won't accept help. And he won't."
"So what? We just give up on him?" Summer asked accusingly, putting her hands on her hips.
"No, Summer, J-jeez. I just– We're gonna have to get creative."
"Fuck."
---
thats it thats the end i didnt know how tf to end this but my goal wasnt to rewrite like the bible idfk it was just to put rick through shit and put completely unfair expectations on summer and mortys shoulders so that they could ALL suffer in this fic !! :3 also this is so mf long i sincerely apologise if u read all that
#i feel like all the few rnm fics ive written are set in the garage im sorry 😭#thats where rick mostly is when hes not out in other dimensions tho ig#also even tho my fics r all rick centric i cant not have my boy morty in them#i just love him too much#also obligatory birdrick mention in the start bcs theyve been on my mind#also in regards to is anyone in this house not disordered let my drop my smith sanchez family disorder hcs >:)#okayyy#so starting off strong with beth: an alcoholic like her father probably anxiety stemming from her abandonment issues and possibly depressio#next up my boy morty: anxiety also and most likely ptsd from all the shit hes experienced ik a lot of ppl hc him as autistic but i dont#possibly adhd dyslexia or dyscalculia tho or all of the above idk#oookay next up jerry: i really spend incredibly little time thinking about jerry so idk im open to hearing hcs abt him tho#wait back to beth: maybe also ocd or smth like that#okay now summer: my girl has a lot of substance abuse issues as we see and fomo but idk if anything else maybe social anxiety or smth#aaand its rick time: alcohol and drug abuse definitely ptsd for sure depression and autism possibly adhd or bpd or both#in this fic he has an ed also so that#paranoia too#and thats it i think#also going back to the topic ofautism tho#i just cannot see it with morty at all like he shows no symptoms?? i dont see them at least idk i could be wrong#i honestly see it more with beth or summer maybe#but idk#also i almost never put the accents when i write in spanish lol but i did so#vey professional of me ik#gotta let rick say cabron properly#alex says shit#rick and morty#rick sanchez#morty smith#summer smith#rick and morty fanfiction
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well. surprised and pleased(?) to report we've got some 2.6k words of fic written about the apple watch amangela thing hanging out in my notes (and then moved to gdoc bc i hit character count limit).
will be published once i figure out some more of the scene transitions and how to like. end it. (and have edited it at least once.) so. 👀
#i do still habe like real life responsibilities as well but im hoping to publish it MAYBE late tonight or tomorrow night ?#making this post so i dont chicken out of posting it later lol#smosh rpf#amangela#its also entirely readable as platonic (right now) which makes me quite pleased. if i were to change that. it would get even longer#that said i DO have concepts for some. non platonic interpretatioms of this setup. and also specifically the wrist grabbing .. . .. .. . ..#but we choose a lane. as they say#its v funny bc i wrote like. most of it. and didnt actually touch the Inciting Incident (Sounds Fishy) video bc i got so lost in the sauce#about the setup and precedent. so no im like. how much detail to give about the event we ACTUALLY saw and what is the right closing to this#whoops. anyway. we'll see. i think we're at like 70% and typically once i hit this point with writing it will ACTUALLY get shared. so.
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the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here
#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness#(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too)#but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so#lets see how that develops you know#also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it#not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but#im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing#to complain abt it anyway#the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy#maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness#i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character#in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now#like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains#in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think#or maybe you can! but i'll find that out#i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh#always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do#bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really#but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all#remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe#saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post#all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story#whos Other is story#where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story#ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe
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thinking abt how one of the defining traits of metal sonic who's supposed to be this cold unfeeling machine is that they completely block out logical thinking to blindly attack sonic whenever they cross paths.. attacks him like an animal, not like a killing machine. attacks him in the way that only someone who feels an obsessive hatred could attack someone.. idk.. something something their most defining trait disproves what is allegedly their other most defining trait.. if that is the case then who are they at all?
#me posts#metal sonic#sth#the identity crisis is baked into her!!!!!and yet they still just add her as killer robot number 5608#which dont get me wrong i love it when she mauls and kills but i just mean like auugh yknow there is so much story potential but#in universe they are just cast aside. which is so strange bc sonic typically is all for helping his rivals but with metal for some reason h#es so reluctant. like yeah he wants metal to 'be good' but he barely cares whenever she shows signs of life and most other characters just#write it off as acting strange or dont even seem to notice at all#man these tags could be a whole other post idk im running on no sleep falling asleep at the keyboard mayb this makes no sense#but im rotating metal in my mind so now its ur problem my followers#sonic the hedgehog
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what if. what if I did a whole post abt ex-togame what if.
#no because........ the way I'm in my feelings for him and in my feelings for angst should be illegal#hands itching. i need to write i need to write sOMETHING#togame ? trying the most to make things right only for your relationship to fall for the 1 thing he can't do that's communication? HMU#i genuinely think he wouldn't be desperated begging for a second chance bc im a firm believer he would be pissed#HOWEVER ☝️ May I suggest ☝️ togame slowly loosing his mind because you accidentally left something in his house ☝️#its the idea of 'he has so much of you' in his house and vice-versa just to show how he genuinely tried so much how could u not see it ?!#not me yapping abt this instead of writing........ alright maybe I'll make a part two of that prev posf just for him 😐#'your fault for letting your girl get so comfortable togame' 'shut up stop saying that you're not my girl anymore' 'sorry. habit.' 'i know.'#I CAN WRITE A MESS SO MESSY I PROMISE 🙏🙏🙏🙏 ILL DO IT ILL DO IT#i just need angst in my veins atm and you guys know me I can't do that to ume. its too much for me to handle.#ALWAYS ALWAYS obsessed with different ways a enneagram 2 reacts to it. as a 2 myself. ume and jo the mans that you both are.#ALRIGHT ENOUGH ill write it. by next week i promise 👍👍👍#if i dont get any requests it will be the next thing promise 👍#e.txt#jo togame x reader
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If i start posting dc stuff on here, it means i lost the fight w myself. The demons won. Im sorry
#chattin#realistically i will be making a diff blog for it#bc its. its alot. and i dont want to engage w the fandom via posting#maybe.#but i def dont want to talk to anyone in there#there are so many white people from ohio in that fandom. ill die for real#ive ALWAYS liked bman and supes stuff. i just. well#theres too many comics. its too confusing. theres too many shows. too many contradictions#and really dogshit movies that are too grimdark for me to enjoy#prob the only fandom where i have to cherry pick the things i like out of the main series things#to make a story and set of characters i like wo making it feel overwhelmingly ooc#also. u cannot give me alien characters and NOT make me go insane#but no one is interested in it in the way i am. like w specbio stuff#this is what happenee w d/bz too. like where is the love of making goku a little monkey freak of nature and not Human w Superstrength#all the freaks are hiding from me. where are they…🥺#i dont care about canon lore for why clark is more human than youd think#thats BORING. more emphasis on the sun affecting him please.#i was about to write some incredibly suggestive specbio shit and realized thats not appropriate in these tags for This post#just know that i care. i care so much. all my alien ocs are weird. and i wanna do the same w supes#and i wanna do the sawe w the little mans#and i want to write humans dealing w the little things that remind them that hes an alien#the kitty eyes glint in the dark. the almost nonexistant heartbeat. standing motionless for hours at a time#weird vocalizations when hes ‘sleeping’. weird vocalizations that come out when hes happy or spooked#the way he flies. the way hes both indestructible but incredibly lightweight (or dense if u prefer)#ugh#ill make a blog for it. bc its gnawing at my brain now and it wont leave me alone
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blood loss edition
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#colloquially. like gesturing towards a signifier of a signifier of a story told long before. youre not getting more out of me than that#ft. tố linh (and them in yuutoverse for a hot second)#if u wonder what a dirt historian is. stay tuned <3#that thing reki does in the first page is a real thing everyone here's convinced of btw#like. free hangin from a bar by ur arms will make u taller#also I literally did not mean to design amy and linh Like That. I did Not mean for them to be. Like That#but I am happy that I did. bc I love their design and they play well with yuuto#the last page is. some extremely disorganized Thoughts from a thing I kinda wanna write#maybe not right now. but eventually#I guess it's also mostly like. one more love letter to the siblings out there. it has to do with reki getting#underground basically illegal T shots at S lmao#shakes u by the collar we're not going anywhere! I love you!! everything will find its place!!!!#anyways. there are also a number of muppet type creatures in this one. idk whats up with that#I dont have much blood in me rn Im not lucid. have fun be urself ok?#thats also why the inks been taking a break btw. and the fact that my new pot of ink just arrived today#while Im being deprived of my appropriate volume of intravenous fluid#man. may be another day. before I can stop screaming at my wall and punching things off shelves. and draw properly#meanwhile. u know whats up#I go lay down now. have fun ok? be kind to ur tall friends knee them only gently#also just realized future!langa kinda has a bit of haruka vibes. that is literally so awesome
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