#maybe it's the upset tummy talking but i think that's how the first episode will start

[babygray]

Someone, quick! Edit together the coolest/saddest parts of Gintama the Final and add the opening second of Ginpachi-sensei waking up and saying “…. A dream?” from the new trailer!

[lubdubsworld]

Blackberry Winters.

PART 1 🌸 PART 2

Namjoon Werewolf Au!! 

Pack Head Alpha Namjoon and mate OC!

Arranged marriage sort of?

Pack dynamics / strangers to lovers. 

Part 3

“You did not think to tell him no? To demand that you had every right to stay there?” Her mother in law looked disappointed ,  eyes trained on her as Jiah carefully pulled the blouse of the tunic down over her tummy, frowning when she realized that it didn’t do a thing for her figure.

She felt self conscious, the grey cotton of the tunic making her feel drab and lifeless. Why did she always choose clothes in colors like this? Why did none of them fit her right? Why did she never make an effort to look at least a little good. Her hair was limp, a mousy brown and while it was thick, it had no luster… Why didn’t she use one of the hundred powdered mixtures the village healer liked to give the younger women?

“Jiah, are you listening to me?” Namjoon’s mother said sharply and Jiah jumped a bit, guilty.

“I didn’t want to be a bother..”  She said nervously, not sure how to handle her mother in law. On the one hand she seemed to be understanding of her many hang ups, but she also looked impatient and upset, anytime Jiah failed to stand up for herself.

Lady Kim drew herself up to her impressive height and Jiah cowered. She’d hung around enough pack bonfires to recognize that stance and that gaze. The woman was about to give her a piece of her mind.

Sure enough, her voice thundered when she addressed her.

“If you keep viewing yourself as a bother, I’m not sure how others will begin seeing you as anything else. You’re the head alpha’s mate. Your place is by his side, helping him with the crown on his head. It’s not a choice. Your duties are not mine and I am tired of doing them for you.” She snapped.

It stung. Guilt churned and Jiah could feel the beginnings of one of her episodes. The ones that always left her shaking and breathless. Much to her surprise, Lady Kim’s gaze softened at that and the next second she was being drawn into a warm embrace.

“Good lord child, why are you so terrified? Has my family not been kind enough to take away this stark terror out of your veins?” She sighed deeply. “You must not let your fears dictate your life. I want you to live your life, pleasing the person you’re bound to .”

Jiah felt her shoulders sag. Please the person she was bound to.  Of course. Namjoon. It all came down to the alpha wolf. And how was she supposed to please him, if he couldn’t bear to be in the same room as her?

“Yourself.” Lady Kim’s voice, laced with amusement made her jump.

Jiah frowned, pulling back to look at the older woman in confusion.

“You’re bound only to yourself , Jiah. You need to please yourself. To do and be the person you want to be. And then everything else will fall into place.”

Jiah watched as the woman went back to the door, calling for and directing a few more workers as they finished setting up the outer courtyard of her living quarters. Still a little chilled, she grabbed a thick coat from the small cupboard by the door, draping it over herself and tying it together with the sash. She moved quickly to the door, watching her mother in law talk to the workers, looking them straight in the eye , firm and clear in her instructions.

It was fascinating.

Lady Kim’s stance fairly vibrated with power and her voice brooked no disobedience. People looked at her and listened. They saw someone who knew what she was talking about and many a time, Jiah had felt it herself, the comfort of someone reliable. Someone who wished no ill on anyone.

Namjoon’s mother had lost her husband at a young age. Namjoon had scarcely been a babe of two when it had happened and the entire pack had expected the young wolf to lose his birthright as the heir. It was unheard of for a mate to take over the head alpha’s duties but Lady Kim had risen to the occasion with an elegance that had stunned everyone. The woman had met pack leaders and settled disputes, had negotiated boundary conflicts and made elaborate plans for new buildings , all while carrying around a babe that was still fed at her breast.

What was more, she had defended her position against the men who had wanted to usurp it. Mnhyuk and Jaejoon were two of her husband’s cousins, eager to sink their fangs into the woman to mate her, just to be able to get their hands on the pack. They were terrible men , even worse wolves. Their ideas on how the pack ought to be run dripping with archaic ideals and oppression of women.

But Lady Kim had humiliated them, told the whole pack in no uncertain terms that the next pack alpha would be Kim Namjoon. Her son would be raised to rule the pack with kindness and understanding and she would make sure of it.

The tales were told with hushed tones of disbelief and admiration and Jiah had listened to them with hunger and aching. Had felt such a huge surge of affection for the matron , had wanted to hug her and tell her she had done a great job.

And standing here as her daughter in law, she realized that she would be a fool not to listen to her. Not to learn from her. Especially when it was obvious that in the entire pack, the only one who didn’t seem to hold Kim Namjoon on a pedestal, was ironically his own mother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ They’re going to challenge you again. I can feel it.” Taehyung said gruffly, dropping the bundle of scrolls on the table and Namjoon flinched, head throbbing.

“That bad?” He asked hesitantly and Taehyung nodded.

“They want you to re-negotiate that treaty about courtesans owning property. Think it would make them quit the profession… if you let them own stuff” Seokjin said quietly and Namjoon bristled.

“They are no different from any of us. They work for their pay too. Why shouldn’t they be allowed to do what they wish with money that they’ve earned?” He demanded angrily.

“You’re a good man Namjoon. A fair one. And you’re striving to build a pack that treats all it members as equals . Obviously people who thrive on abusing their power aren’t going to like that. Especially Minhyuk and Jaejoon’s pups. Those two are terrible.”

“You should accept their challenge and just rip their throats out someday.” Taehyung said firmly AND Namjoon gave him a glare.

“I’m not going to shed blood without cause, Taehyung. Don’t suggest that. Even in passing.” He said firmly and the younger beta bowed politely in apology.

“Where is Jiah?” Seokjin asked casually.

Namjoon glanced at him, brows raised.

“Since when are you so familiar with my mate, hyung?”

Seokjin rolled his eyes.

“She used to come sit with me, when I watched over the herds on the outer pastures. Sweet little thing really. Very funny too.”

That made Namjoon pause.

“Funny?” He asked, completely confused.

“Witty. She would make these clever little riddles and jokes that would always leave me in stitches. We made a game of it. I would give her one of my funny jokes and she would give me a riddle. Is she feeling better now?”

Namjoon who was still kind of struck dumb by the idea of his cowering, reticent mate doing something as…. Normal and friendly as laughing and being witty….. could only stare at Seokjin in confusion.

“I…. Yes. She’s well. We’re expecting a pup.” He said softly.

Both Taehyung and Seokjin went still.

“What?!!! Why didn’t you say that first?!!” Taehyung exclaimed, offended.

“It’s not that important…” Namjoon waved it off, reaching for the scrolls , “ what about the treaties, then? You did tell Jungkook we aren’t changing anything right?”  

Seokjin scoffed.

“ Only you would say that these treaties are more important than your own pup.” He snapped.

Namjoon sighed a bit at that.

“I don’t mean that. I’m just saying, what she needs now is to rest and take care of herself and the baby. I’m not what she needs . I’ve arranged for her to stay in some private quarters with the other women.”

Seokjin sighed deeply. After years of being one of Namjoon’s trusted friends, he could feel his heart ache for the younger and all that he hid from the people around him. He reached out and gently placed a palm on Namjoon’s shoulder.

“ Namjoon, you don’t have to do all of this by yourself. Tae and I , we can take over duties a couple of days a week… You can relax… Maybe spend some time with your new wife….”

“She hates me.” Namjoon said softly. “ I spent a whole month trying to talk to her, all she did was tremble and shake. Even when we…” Namjoon exhaled sharply, “ Even in bed , she made me feel like I was some kind of…. Predator.”

Taehyung bit his lips, looking worried.

“You’re not… You’re not going to break the bond are you?” He asked nervously.

Namjoon sighed.

“I’m not. I may have considered it, before . But now… She’s with pup. I can’t do that to her. I don’t want to either.”

“Why did you pick her?”

Namjoon stayed quiet.

“Because you wanted a wife who wouldn’t ask or demand or complain.” Taehyung said distastefully.

“That’s not… You make it sound so terrible. I’m supposed to be taking over pack duties, supposed to renegotiate every single treaty we’ve drawn in the past twenty years, not to mention get the entire pack ready for the winter…. Of course I wanted a wife who would adjust. Have you seen the omegas in our clan? The ones I could court ? They want to leave on trips… They want to visit the neighbouring packs…. They want me to arrange festivities and feasts for every damn thing…. You think I can marry someone like that??” Namjoon snapped angrily. “none of them understand a damn thing about helping me out. They’re shallow and vain. Jiah… I chose her because she didn’t seem like one of them. She seemed like she could understand what it means to be my wife. But I was wrong. I thought she understood my responsibilities and was giving me my space…. Turns out she just thinks I’m some kind of monster she needs to run and hide from.”

Seokjin reached out, patting his back soothingly.

“Namjoon I understand… It’s been hard on you, and you’ve been doing all of it by yourself. Its bound to take a toll. And that’s why I think you should take a few days off, a week. Give us all the instructions. We’ll carry it all out. You can relax.”

“That’s exactly what my uncles want. For me to slack off. They’ll summon the council and want to challenge me again. I can’t afford it. “ Namjoon shook his head.” Not until the babe is born and my position as pack alpha is solidified. I can’t let them use this against me.”

Seokjin and Taehyung exchanged looks.

“Joon-ah….”

Namjoon gave both of them a tired smile.

“I’ll be fine hyung. It’s going to be okay.”  He said reassuringly. “ The council’s meeting tomorrow right? I’ll try to go over these tonight.”

“Its already past sundown.” Taehyung said worriedly.

“Then I better ask the maids to keep enough oil for the lamp to last.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What are you doing here?” Namjoon blinked, staring at her like she was out of her mind and Jiah flinched. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake. But the sight of him made something curl in the pit of her stomach. He looked exhausted. Like he had been up all night. She wondered if perhaps she ought to retreat. Go back to the private quarters he’d arranged for her.

No. No , you will not chicken out of this.

“ You have a council meeting, this evening. Could I come with you?.” She said softly, watching his face carefully. She tried to read his emotions, tried to look for traces of irritation or anger but all she found was a sort of hopeless resignment. Like he had stopped trying to fight whatever was bringing him down.

“Come with me….?? ” Namjoon stared at her like he wasn’t quite sure what she was talking about.

She inhaled sharply.

“Your mother told me I could go. As your mate, I’m allowed to sit in on council meetings. She told me it’s a new provision. That you were the one who had it written in. So perhaps, you should… let me come with you.”

“My mother-“ He paused, sighing. “ You don’t have to do everything my mother asks you to.”

She blinked, the words throwing her off. The truth was, she had been the one, tailing the older woman all day, trying to see what she did and how she did it. Lady Kim had merely offered to help her do her duties. She had mentioned in passing, that for centuries , mates hadn’t been granted many rights of their own. Namjoon had spent the past couple of years making a lot of amendments to pack laws and the council hadn’t taken to kindly to all of them.

“ Of course. I just thought that, as I am your mate , perhaps I should accompany you. ” It was a miracle, the way her voice came out, steady . Not at all betraying the nervousness coursing through her veins.

“Jiah…. I’m not sure.” His voice dripped with hesitation and she flinched. Oh, well, no one could blame her for not trying.

“If you don’t want me there, that’s fine.” She said quickly.” I’ll go…”

She turned around, feeling her face burn red as she quickly descended the stairs to the courtyard.

“Jiah wait!!” His voice made her still.

She turned around swiftly.

“I didn’t mean to imply that I did not want you there. I just….Council meetings aren’t short. They tend to go on for hours. Will you be alright?” He asked gently, gaze dropping surreptitiously to her middle.  

It took her a minute to understand what he was even talking about.

“I… Oh.” She quickly pressed her palms to her stomach, confused. “ I mean… I may have to be excused a couple of times to relieve myself. I’ve been doing that way more often than usual.” She laughed.

Namjoon’s lips quirked in a hint of a smile and she flushed. Surely, her stern mate didn’t want to hear about her body functions? What was she even doing…

“But, yes. I wouldn’t mind sitting with you. Truly.” She said quickly.

Namjoon nodded.

“Well, then. You can come with me. It’s an hour before sundown… I’ll come fetch you myself.”

“Yes , alpha.” She said brightly, curtsying lightly and immediately feeling like a fool.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They’re called red feathers …” The healer, a middle aged woman called Selma,  opened a small earthenware jar to show her the contents. Jiah peered into the jar, catching sight of a bundle of dried flowers and roots.

“These can help me…?” She asked dubiously and Selma gave a quiet chuckle.

“They help you sleep better and also help you relax. They’re good for you. You won’t feel this anxious if you take them regularly.” She said calmly.

“Oh… alright.” Jiah nodded, glancing carefully at her mother in law who was standing elsewhere, looking through an assortment of salves and tinctures. “ Can I…. is this safe for Namjoon?”

Lady Kim stilled, turning around to glance at her sharply and Jiah stiffened. God, her impulsive mouth. She wasn’t even sure why she said it. Just the whole , helps sleep better , had immediately reminded her of how tired Namjoon had looked.

“I’ve already tried to get him to drink some of it. He refuses.” Lady Kim said tiredly. “ He feels that it may affect his mental faculties”

“Auntie Selma?” A high, soft voice rang through the hut and Jiah glanced up. She went still, catching sight of Jisoo, dressed in red velvet and all of her ornate jewelry.

“Ah… Jisoo…you’re back.” Selma said cheerfully. “ How can I help you child?”

Jisoo stared at her, eyes steady and unreadable.

“I need some wild carrot seeds and ginger roots.” She said softly and Lady Kim scoffed.

“I hope the man you’re taking into your bed is not who I think it is , Jisoo.” She growled. The younger woman merely bowed.

“I’m but a courtesan, my lady. I go where I am asked to.” She said softly.

Lady Kim sighed.

“Then perhaps you should go back home. Now.” She said sharply and jisoo flushed and ugly red.

“Your son wants me to visit him for tea , this evening. I was hoping to meet my lovely lady there…but I hear you no longer stay in his hut.” Jisoo turned to her, tone dripping with acid and Jiah swallowed nervously.

“I… I’m…” She couldn’t quite talk, much less think of something to say.

“Because she is with child.” Lady Kim said sharply, a hint of triumph in her tone. “ Namjoon’s child.”

Jisoo had gone paper white, her face pale and bloodless.

“What?” She whispered.

“It’s true. She carries my son’s heir. You know what that means, Jisoo. It means they are bound, for life. I like you. I respect your courage and admire your talents. You are beautiful and you deserve a mate of your own. Do not pursue my son.” Lady Kim said firmly.

Jisoo didn’t respond for a few seconds.  

And then she bowed again .

“Like I said, my lady. I only go where I am called.” She said quietly.

She turned on her heels, stalking away and Jiah could only stare after her, heart pounding a bit at what had just happened. She wasn’t sure why she felt so much disquiet. She’d never had high hopes of fidelity from Namjoon. The entire village knew that Jisoo had been his paramour. But now that she had seen how dismissive the younger girl was of her, she felt the unaccountable urge to fight back. To stake her claim.

“You look pretty upset. Don’t let her bother you. Namjoon will not break his vows.” Lady Kim said quietly and Jiah gave her a soft smile, although her heart still raced. She remembered how pretty the girl had looked in all her brocades and velvets. She stared down at her own murky yellow dress. She couldn’t go to the council meeting, dressed worse than a courtesan. Couldn’t embarrass Namjoon like that.

“ My Lady….” She turned to her mother in law. The older woman hummed, returning to examining the shelves.

“What is it, child?”

“Can we stop at the seamstress’ hut on our way back?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whatever Namjoon had been expecting, as he knocked on his wife’s private quarters, it hadn’t been this.

He stared , or to be more accurate, gaped at his wife, completely thrown by her appearance.

She looked…. Cheerful.

That was the only word he could think of, taking in the warm yellow and green fabric of her gown, all with an abundance of ribbons and lace. She had also clearly made some effort to tame her hair.

Not a very successfully attempt, considering the dozen strands sticking out of her bun and curling over her bare neck and shoulders …..but an attempt nonetheless.

Which reminded him.

Why was her neck bare?

“I…. have you forgotten… part of your dress…?” He asked awkwardly, gaze trained on the pale, blemish less expanse of skin in front of him. Too much of it was on display he felt.

“Oh?” Jiah twirled about for a second, glancing at herself. “ Not at all, my alpha. This is how it is.”

Namjoon blinked.

“Right… the night is getting colder. Perhaps a shawl?” He suggested tactfully.

Jiah frowned, sticking a hand out of the door as though to the gauge the night air.

“Really? Feels quite warm to me.” She said thoughtfully.  

“It may be cold for the baby.” He said quickly and that made her pause. She glanced back down at her tummy and he wondered what she expected to see, every time she did that.

“Perhaps you’re right alpha….let me be back.” She floated back into the hut and he sighed in relief when she reappeared with a white fleece shawl over her shoulders.

“Shall we go ?” She asked quietly and he hesitated before slowly offering her his arm. She gripped it lightly, and they began the short walk to the main village square where the council usually convened.

“You… You’re better adjusted to this place now?” He asked carefully, trying to find the girl he had taken to his bed. The terrified, nervous , trembling young girl.

Jiah didn’t respond at once.

“I… I’ve been drinking some of Selma’s potions. They help.” She said quietly and he frowned.

“Potions? Potions for what?”

“They help with my nerves. I get scared easily…imagine things ….” She trailed off nervously.” I’m very anxious by nature and it gets worse in a new place. With new people.”

Namjoon considered that carefully. That made sense. Perhaps, that was why she had been so odd.

“The potions help?” He asked carefully and she nodded.

“Yes…that and your mother.”

“My mother?”

“She’s very kind to me.”

Namjoon laughed a bit at that. In all the years he has had people talking to him about his mother, the word ‘kind ‘ had never come up.

“ I’m being honest….she has helped me adapt to this place. To see how things are run. I… I don’t want to be a bother. I want to pull my weight. In the pack. To help in any way I can…”

Namjoon felt a sudden unaccountable fondness bloom in his chest at the innocent words.

“ That’s very virtuous of you.” He said seriously and she flushed.

They didn’t say anything else, continuing the rest of the path in companionable silence Namjoon spotted the seven council members gathered around a blazing fire and lightly stepped closer to her.

“You can stay close to me. You don’t have to answer them.  If they try to draw you into any controversial topic, just ignore them. I’ll handle it.” He said quickly.

Jiah gave him a wide eyed, nervous look but nodded quickly, fingers moving from his forearm to his palm , linking with his own and gripping tight.

“I’m here. You’re not alone.” She said quickly and it was ridiculous, how the words actually helped him relax just a little.

Taking a deep breath, he led her on to the meeting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : i thinks its about time i accepted that this is a full blown fic and not just a drabble. fuck my life. 

Note : Red feathers are actually herbal medicines used as anti depressants. So this is just werewolf au equivalent of therapy. 

[maybeimamuppet]

it takes a village

hey hey little muppets!! happy wednesday!! this is a request fill for gracerailly on ao3 who requested the poly-stics babysitting cadnis' kids.

cw/tw for depression/depressive episodes

otherwise, enjoy!!

---

Cady wakes up to chattering coming through the baby monitor.

Which is unusual, because Janis usually wakes her up with their twins. But today, Janis is still in bed next to her and gives a quiet groan when she hears the noise.

“Jay?” Cady asks groggily. “What’s the matter?”

Janis groans again and flops onto her back, bringing her hands up to sign. That’s never good, Janis only uses sign language when things are especially bad for her.

“Can’t move,” she signs. “Feel… heavy. Slow. Dead.”

“Oh, my love,” Cady hums sadly, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “Do you think you’re having a depressive episode?”

Janis nods slowly. Cady can tell she’s using a great deal of energy to bring her hands up again. “The girls.”

“I’ll get them up for today, don’t worry about it,” Cady says immediately. “You relax. Everything’s okay.”

Janis pouts but nods again, letting her hands drop back to her side. Cady pecks her nose gently before she goes to get their daughters up.

They’re both awake, standing up in their cribs and waiting for someone to come get them ready. Both of them look her way when Cady switches the light on, with their adorable frizzy curls and sleepy blue eyes.

“Good morning, my little loves!” She says happily, going to give them their morning kisses. “Did you have good dreams?” Both twins nod happily. “Good, that makes Mama so happy.”

“Where Mommy?” Layla asks, rubbing her eyes and holding onto her stuffed elephant. Cady pauses for a second. How does she explain this in terms they can understand?

For now, a white lie won’t hurt anything. “Mommy’s still asleep, Mama gets to get you ready today.”

Leo reaches out first, so Cady grabs her and carries her over to be changed before swapping her out with Layla to do the same.

“There we go, all clean! Let’s go have breakfast,” Cady says happily, scooping them both up and carrying them downstairs to the kitchen.

“Mama?” Layla pipes up. Cady smooches her chubby little cheek a few times.

“Yes, Ladybug?”

“We hab f’uit?” Layla asks. “P’ease?”

“Yeah, of course you can have fruit,” Cady says. “Good pleases, too, that’s a good girl. Bumblebee, do you want fruit too?”

Leo just nods. She’s less of a morning person than her twin. Cady sets them both in their high chairs and buckles them in for safety, then washes some blueberries for them to eat.

Leo picks at hers, resting her elbows on her tray and holding her head in her little hands.

“What’s the matter, Lolo?” Cady asks sadly while she gives the pets their own breakfast and prepares some quick cereal for herself.

“Miss Mommy,” Leo says with a precious little pout. “Want cuddle.”

“Aww, sweetheart,” Cady says. “Mommy’s still here, she’s just upstairs. And we can go see if she wants to cuddle after breakfast.”

Leo perks up a little bit at the reminder that her mommy is still there, just not at breakfast, and starts eating her blueberries with a bit more speed. She and Layla chatter away about their plans for the day while they eat. Cady can’t quite understand what they’re saying, but she grins at the interactions regardless.

“All done,” Layla says when her blueberries are finished. Leo shoves her last few in her mouth and chews them with a nod of agreement.

“Good job, girls! Okay, let’s wash our hands and then we can go see Mommy,” Cady says. She grabs each from her chair and helps them wash the berry juice off their tiny hands, then carries them back up to the main bedroom to find Janis. “Jay? You up for a cuddle?”

Janis rolls over and gives a weak grin when she sees her whole family there waiting for her. She nods and gestures them over with a hand, so Cady sets the twins down to run over to her.

“Be gentle, girls,” she says quietly, following after them. She scoops Leo up and helps her get on the bed since she was struggling to make it. Layla sits and cuddles in on top of Janis while Leo nuzzles into her side. They both can clearly tell something’s off.

“Mommy sick?” Layla asks. “Need med’cine?”

Janis chuckles weakly and brushes a hand through Layla’s messy hair. Cady can tell it’s taking nearly all of her energy just to cuddle their babies, but Janis forces herself to keep going.

“Kind of, but medicine won’t fix it this time,” Janis says quietly. “I just need cuddles and sleep.”

“Wha’s wrong?” Leo asks, unfortunately curious. How do you explain depression to some barely two year olds? Cady thinks for a second before she tries to explain.

“You girls know how Aunt Reggie is a doctor? And she talks to people who are sad or scared or mad a lot, to help them feel better?” Cady begins. Both twins look her way and nod. “Some of the people Aunt Reggie talks to have something called depression. That’s a tough word, can you say it?”

Both girls try, sounding closer to ‘press in’ than anything else.

“Yeah, good job! But Mommy has depression too. Sometimes it makes her sad, or sometimes angry, or scared. Today it’s just making her really tired. But she’ll feel better soon, and then she can play with you again.”

“I can fissit?” Layla asks, wanting her mommy to be better now.

“You can’t fix it this time, Ladybug,” Cady says sadly. “But we can help Mommy feel better by giving her cuddles and letting her rest. We love her bunches, huh?”

Both girls nod and cuddle in again, trying to squeeze every ounce of love for their mommy into the snuggles. Layla even leans in to leave a wet, but sweet kiss on her forehead. “Mmmmwah!”

“Thank you, girls,” Janis says with a weak chuckle. “What did you have for breakfast?”

Cady knows that the twins are going to talk for a while, which buys her some time to track down a babysitter. She pulls out her phone and is about to shoot off a text to Damian before she remembers that he’s out of town visiting family. Aaron went with him, so that just leaves the Plastics. Oh boy. It’s worth a shot.

spacecadet: Hey is there any way you guys could take the smalls for the day?? Janis is having a depressive episode and I need to be able to take care of her

georgewashington: Are you sure you want us to? What about Damian?

spacecadet: He’s out of town for the week. I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate, I know you’re still sorta wary of them

georgewashington: I just don’t want to hurt them, or make you guys upset. Janis would never forgive me if something happened to them because of me.

spacecadet: Regina, you don’t have to worry about stuff like that. Unless it was something major we could never be mad. And Janis does trust you, she’s just protective

georgewashington: If you’re sure, we can take them. Gretchen’s working from home today, so we’ll all be here. What should I do?

spacecadet: Oh, thank you so much!! All they’ll really need from you guys is somewhere to nap and someone to play with. I’ll pack them some toys and things they’ll need and I can drop them off

spacecadet: Just maybe hide anything stainable, breakable, or expensive :/ they are toddlers

georgewashington: Okay, I’ll prep what I can. See you soon.

spacecadet: Thank you so much, Regina!!

Cady switches her phone back off and rolls out of the bed. Once she’s changed out of her pajamas, she goes to get her babies. “Okay girls, should we go get dressed?”

Layla crawls over when she reaches out, but Leo doesn’t want to leave Janis.

“Wha’bout Mommy?” She asks sadly.

“We can come see Mommy again for a little bit when you’re done, Mama will go fast,” Cady coaxes. Leo thinks for a second before she also comes to be picked up. “Yeah, there we go.”

Cady carries both babies back down the hall to their bedroom and sticks both in Leo’s crib to keep them contained.

“Do you want to match or dress different today, pumpkins?” She asks, rooting through their dresser for some outfits.

“Mash,” both twins say at the same time. Cady chuckles and pulls out two of everything she needs. Two green shirts, two pairs of soft black jeans, two pairs of socks. Layla reaches for her first this time, so she heads to scoop her out and rests her on the ground in front of her.

Layla giggles when Cady pops her shirt over her head and surprises her with a kiss on the other side. Cady smiles back until they reach the socks, which are always a struggle. Luckily for her, Layla cooperates and is quickly dressed and subbed out for Leo.

Cady repeats the process on her second daughter before she heads to their closet to grab the finishing touches. Two tiny pairs of white high top converse that match her own, and two of the jean jackets Janis painted to match her old ones. These have teddy bears on the back, which are absolutely adorable.

“Mommy painted these for you while you two were still in my tummy,” Cady says, resting them on the rail of Leo’s crib.

“In you tummy?” Leo asks interestedly. Cady nods and carries them both to see the pictures on their bulletin board. That’s a more recent addition to the room, and full of pictures of all the people important to the twins.

Cady points to one of her maternity photos, specifically at her belly. “You two were in here. That’s where you grew for a while.”

They both look curiously at the photo, then down at their own tummies. “How we come out?”

“Um… we can talk about that another day, let’s go do your hair,” Cady says quickly. Before the twins can say anything else she carries them into the bathroom and pops them down on the counter. She gives them each a comb to play with and then sprays them down with some detangling hairspray, brushing their dark curls out to a more manageable state.

She splits Leo’s down the middle and ties hers in space buns on top of her head, then gives Layla one ponytail so the Plastics can tell them apart more easily.

“I have a surprise for you, girls,” Cady says as she roots through the basket for some hair bows, per Leo’s request. They both perk up at the mention of a surprise and look to her interestedly. “You guys get to go to Aunt Reggie’s house today, isn’t that cool?”

“Aunt Weggie house?” Layla asks curiously. They’ve never been to Aunt Reggie’s house, Uncle D is their usual babysitter.

“Yeah! You get to go play with her and Aunt GG and Auntie Karen and Nutmeg,” Cady says, clipping the green bows to their hair ties.

“Wow,” Leo says excitedly. Cady laughs and picks them up again to carry them back to Janis.

“Mommy,” Layla calls happily, running back to Janis’ side of the bed. Janis helps her back up for another round of cuddles. “We go Aunt Weggie house!”

Leo wriggles her way up again as well, and Janis grabs her for snuggles too. Once she has her babies safely back in her hold, she raises a suspicious eyebrow at her wife.

“Just for the day, they’ll be fine,” Cady groans. “Damian’s still out of town and I want to be able to give you my full attention.”

Janis shrugs and brings her daughters up for some kisses, making them both giggle in delight. Cady takes the time to go pack some supplies for the girls while Janis has them occupied.

She packs enough diapers to last them each a week, some extra clothes in case of disaster, a few of their favorite small toys and activities, their pacifiers, and their stuffies. They already have sippy cups and other dishes there, since Damian insisted on buying everyone some just in case there was ever an emergency and they had to babysit. Turns out it was a great idea.

When Cady brings the jackets, backpacks, and shoes back into the bedroom to finish getting her daughters ready, she finds Leo carefully stroking her little hands through Janis’ hair, while Layla sits on Janis’ belly and is thoroughly explaining all the things she wants to do at her aunts’ house.

She chuckles at the precious sight before she enters the room and snatches Layla up for tickles and kisses. Layla shrieks in surprise, but quickly starts laughing and trying to push her away. Cady carefully rests her down and gets her tiny shoes on, and Janis grins when she sees the cute jacket Cady tugs onto Layla’s arms.

Leo goes next, giggling anxiously and curling into Janis for protection as Cady looms ominously overhead. She squeals when she’s snatched up by the mama claw and brought in for her round of kisses and tickles. Once her shoes and jacket are on, it’s time for them to go.

“Okay girls, give Mommy hugs, we gotta go,” she says quietly. Janis grunts slightly as both twins jump on top of her for one last cuddle before they head off.

“Bye girls,” Janis whispers. “I love you.”

“Luh you, Mommy!” Both twins call at the same time. Janis chuckles and kisses them one last time before Cady scoops them up and rests them on the ground.

“Get some rest, love,” Cady murmurs, bending down to kiss her wife. “I’ll be back soon, text me if you need anything.”

Janis nods and curls back into bed. Cady flips the light off on their way out and follows the twins to the car.

—————-

“Whoa,” both twins say when they see the apartment building. Cady realizes she probably should have explained that their aunties don’t live in the whole thing.

“Big house,” Leo says slightly anxiously. Cady chuckles and picks them both up to carry them in.

“Your aunties live here with other people,” Cady explains. “There’s a bunch of little houses in the building that other families live in.”

Cady carries them past the main desk and to the elevators. Leo gets to push the button to call it, and then Layla pushes the button to get up to the right floor.

“Can you knock?” Cady asks, since both her hands are full. Both of them helpfully rap their little fists against the door. “Good job. There’s Auntie Karen!”

“Hey!” Karen says happily. “Come in!”

Cady enters and sets the twins down. Layla toddles off immediately, making a beeline for Nutmeg.

“Dog, dog, dog,” she says happily on her way. “Doggy! I pet, p’ease?”

“Yes, you can pet her,” Karen chuckles. “Hi Leo.”

“Hi,” Leo replies quietly, pressing against Cady’s leg with a heartbreaking pout. Leo’s always been her anxious one, and is clearly frightened at the prospect of facing a new environment all alone.

Cady crouches down to comfort her, stroking some stray hairs away from her baby’s face. “You’re gonna be okay, Bee. Aunt Reggie and Aunt GG and Aunt Karen are gonna play with you, Mama put all your toys in your backpack. And you have Georgie in there too, he’ll give you cuddles if you get scared. And then you get to take your nap, and probably have lunch.”

“Wha’ lunch?” Leo asks.

“I don’t know, we’ll have to see what they have for you, but I bet it’ll be so yummy,” Cady says. “But you’re gonna be safe, little love. Your aunties will protect you, and they can call or text me on my phone if you need me. And I’ll be back to get you in a while, okay?”

“Okay Mama,” Leo says.

“That’s my brave girl,” Cady says happily, pecking her forehead and standing up. “Oh, there’s Aunt GG!”

Leo runs over immediately for a hug. She and Gretchen have a special bond, which Cady is always happy to see. Regina pops out of the kitchen too, upon hearing the commotion that the twins bring everywhere they go.

“Aww,” she coos when she sees Leo cuddled up with her girlfriend. She comes over to Cady to urgently ask, “Which one is that?”

“Leo,” Cady chuckles. “She has space buns, Layla has a ponytail.”

“Got it,” Regina says. She looks down when she feels something tug on her pant leg. “Oh, hi Layla.”

“Hi!” Layla says excitedly. Regina just looks at her for a second, not totally sure what to do. Layla reaches to be picked up, so Regina bends down and scoops her off the floor.

“I should get back to Janis soon,” Cady says. “I’ll have my phone, you can text or call if anything comes up.”

“Sounds good,” Gretchen says, still holding Leo. She sets her down for a second and says, “Go say bye to your mama.”

Regina sets Layla down too, and both twins run to give Cady a goodbye hug and kiss.

“Mwah. I love you, girls. Be good, I’ll be back to get you later,” Cady says, kissing both of their foreheads and holding them close before releasing them back. “Have fun!”

—-

Regina notices Leo hunch in on herself a little bit and look around anxiously when Cady leaves. Layla is fine and very occupied trying to play with a lazy Nutmeg. Regina still doesn’t quite know how to handle the twins, but Leo is clearly frightened. She knows how to deal with that.

She heads over and crouches down in front of her, but leaves some distance so Leo doesn’t feel crowded. “Hi, honey. Can you show me what you have in your backpack?”

Leo nods and sits down across from her, removing her little backpack and resting it on the ground in front of her. “Help p’ease?”

“Okay,” Regina says, undoing the zipper for her. “What do you have there?” Leo reaches in and carefully pulls out her stuffed giraffe. “Who’s that?”

“Georgie,” Leo says quietly. “He gi’affe.”

“That’s so cool,” Regina says. “Should we show Georgie around so he knows where everything is?”

Leo nods, so Regina stands and picks up the baby to give her a little tour. Leo holds tightly to her stuffed friend and looks around curiously.

“This is the kitchen,” Regina says. She lets Leo look around at all the things on the walls, giving her time to adjust. When Leo looks back to her, they move on. “And this is the living room.” Leo’s seen this, it’s where the entryway leads to and where Layla is currently playing with Karen and Gretchen. She looks around for a short while before she’s ready to move on. “And this is the office, this is where we do our work, and over there is the bathroom.”

“Where sleep?” Leo asks, so Regina shows her the two bedrooms.

“This is where Aunt GG and Aunt Karen and I sleep, and then this is the bedroom for when we have people come sleep over,” Regina says. Leo looks around curiously before giving a nod. “What do you think?”

“Big,” Leo says. Regina chuckles and nods.

“It is pretty big. Oh, do you want to see something fun?”

Leo nods interestedly, so Regina carries her to see the axolotls in the tank in their bedroom.

“Fishy!” Leo says excitedly, pointing to the tank. “Ooh.”

“They’re called axolotls,” Regina explains. Leo tries to say it, but it just sounds more like ‘blelele’. “Yeah, close enough!”

“Name?” Leo asks, looking curiously at the strange creatures. Regina holds her at a different angle so she can see better and points to each one.

“This one is named Versace, and this is Gucci,” she says. “And then waaaaay back here is Louboutin The Second.”

Leo giggles. “Silly name.”

“They are, just a little,” Regina agrees. “Okay, let’s go find your sister, hm?” Leo nods, so they head back to the living room. Layla has finally been satisfied with the amount of doggy cuddles she’s been given and left the poor creature alone. She’s now busy explaining her toys to Gretchen and Karen.

Gretchen looks up when they come back, and smiles when she sees Leo cuddled into Regina’s shoulder. “Do you wanna come play?”

Leo nods, so Regina sets her down and lets her run over to her twin and their toys. Regina jumps a little when she feels an arm slide gently around her waist to rub that one spot on her lower back, and a sweet peck pressed to her neck.

“You’re really good with her,” Gretchen whispers. “It’s cute.”

Regina shakes her head and pulls her closer. “I’m not. I just know how to calm people down. I don’t even know how to play with them.”

“Just try,” Gretchen says quietly, kissing her cheek gently and heading back over. Regina watches as Karen and Gretchen play legos with the twins, building masterpieces and then taking them apart to make new ones. Gretchen makes it sound so simple, just try. But Regina wouldn’t even know where to begin.

So she just watches. Leo sits on Karen’s lap and builds her creations, and Layla stands in between the couch and the coffee table in order to make hers. Regina takes a sneaky picture of Leo explaining her tower to Karen.

“Aww,” she coos quietly when she sees how it came out.

“Send that to Janis, she’d like that,” Gretchen chuckles.

Layla looks over at her curiously. “Aunt GG?”

“Yeah?”

“Who… um… Janis?” Layla asks, lisping the end but managing to get the sound out.

“Janis is your mommy, that’s her name,” Gretchen explains.

“No,” Leo says with a head shake, joining their discussion.

“No?”

“Mommy name… uhm… love,” Leo explains. The Plastics all fight to contain a coo, looking at each other.

“Mommy’s name is love?” Karen asks. Both twins nod. “And what’s your mama’s name?”

Janis tends to switch between nicknames for Cady more often, so they’re curious to see what her ‘name’ is.

“Baby,” Layla says.

“No,” Leo disagrees. “Mama Bullaf’y.”

“I don’t know.” Layla says eventually.

“That’s okay,” Regina chuckles. “You’ll learn it soon.”

—————

“Hey, Jay, how you feeling?” Cady asks gently as she heads back into her bedroom. Janis groans quietly when she flips the light on. “You know it gets worse if you just sit here in the dark all day. You need light. You’re like a plant.”

Janis pouts at her. Cady kicks off her shoes and crawls back in next to her for a snuggle.

“The girls are fine, the Plastics seemed really excited,” she says quietly. “It’s kind of nice, isn’t it? Just us for a day.”

Janis nods. They both love their daughters more than the world, but it is nice to have a break from time to time. Even if the circumstances surrounding it are less than ideal.

Cady’s phone dings in her pocket, so she fishes it out to see who’s messaging her.

“Speak of the devil. Aww,” she chuckles, holding it so Janis can see.

reginald: Sent a picture: Play time

reginald: Also, just thought we’d let you know, they don’t know your names.

spacecadet: Really?

reginald: They can’t decide if yours is baby or butterfly, and they think Janis’ name is love.

spacecadet: Oh my goodness

reginald: It’s actually really cute. Gretch said to send that picture to Janis and Layla didn’t know who that was.

spacecadet: At least they don’t think our names are mama and mommy anymore. Are you guys still good?

reginald: Yeah, everything’s good. Leo just needed a little tour and now she’s all settled in. And Layla and Nutmeg are best buds.

spacecadet: Haha, poor pooch. She’s always after Daffy and Ellie too

reginald: Oh, Nutmeg loves it. She just gets to lay there and be cuddled, it’s her dream come true.

spacecadet: Well you guys can have the twins anytime so she can get her snuggle seshes in

reginald: Sounds like a plan, I’ll let Nutmeg know. We’ll probably keep sending you stuff, too.

spacecadet: Please do, you guys are so good with them. Thanks again <3

reginald: Of course.

Janis chuckles as she reads over their conversation too. Cady cuddles her closer and pecks her forehead.

“Did you eat?” She asks. Janis shakes her head. “Okay. I’m gonna go get you something, I’ll be right back.”

Janis pouts again, so Cady leans down to kiss her a few times before she leaves. Janis grins contently and settles deeper in under the covers.

——————

Karen continues playing with the twins for a few hours, and Regina stays to watch. Gretchen has some new designs to work on and heads into the office for some quiet.

Regina’s making progress with the twins, eventually even coloring a picture with them once they pull out some crayons and paper. They both eagerly compliment her drawing of a rabbit.

It’s almost relaxing, in a strange way. Karen makes conversation with everyone as she draws a duck, and the twins seem to be warming up even more to the environment.

Relaxing until Layla suddenly snatches the same crayon Leo wanted to add another beautiful scribble to her page. Leo whines a, “Hey!” and scrambles to take it back. Layla shrieks and holds it out of her reach, and suddenly they’re both in tears.

Karen and Regina look to each other in concern at the two little tantrum tornados they now have to deal with, and each gently pick up a twin so they can’t reach each other. Karen looks very anxious as Leo thrashes in her hold and releases a shriek that so loud they can’t quite figure out how such a small person managed it. Apparently quiet little Leo is actually the screamer of the two.

Layla seems to be more physical, wriggling to be put down so she can get back at her sister. Regina refuses to let her down, knowing it’ll only get worse if she does. Time for some desperate measures.

She manages to carry a wiggling and screaming toddler into the kitchen in one arm, doing a strange sort of fireman’s carry. It works well enough. She grabs two of the sippy cups they have and fills them with some cold water.

Karen is now holding Leo as far away as she possibly can, trying desperately to keep her grip as Leo kicks and shrieks like a banshee in her hold.

“Good lord,” Regina murmurs under her breath. “Hey!”

Her tone isn’t mean, or harsh, just loud. Both twins briefly stop their antics to look at her, knowing they might be in some serious trouble here.

She hands Karen one of the cups to give to Leo. “I need both of you to take some big drinks for me, okay? You’re gonna run out of tears to cry, we have to give you more.”

They both take their cups with a very serious look in their eye and drink a good bit of their water. They don’t want to run out of tears, that would be bad.

“Good job,” Regina congratulates when they pull away with a gasp. It’s a trick she was taught in college, that actually regulates their breathing and helps calm people down in intense moments. “Now you’re gonna take a nap. And we can have a talk when you wake up.”

For safety, they decide to keep them apart. Layla gets set up for her nap in the master bedroom, and Leo in the guest room. They make little barriers with pillows so they don’t fall out of bed and give them the best blankets, then leave them with their stuffed animals, pacifiers, and cups of water to rest.

“Fucking hell,” Regina breathes when she shuts the door to where Leo is resting. “Where do they get the energy for that?”

“Revenge is a big deal for toddlers,” Karen shrugs. “They don’t like when things aren’t fair.”

“Christ,” Regina sighs, sitting down and rubbing her temples. Karen sits down as well. “They’re so sweet, usually, what-what happened?”

“I know what you’re thinking, and no it’s not,” Karen responds. Regina looks at her in shock, wondering how she could’ve possibly known. “It’s not your fault, and you’re not a bad aunt. Do you know how impressive what you just did is? You got two toddlers to stop having a tantrum. That’s, like, really special.”

“But they only started getting upset when I started playing with them. All I can do is… stop them crying or whatever,” Regina grumbles. “I don’t know how to interact with them, or-or play with them.”

“They were upset because they were overtired,” Karen hushes, letting Regina lean onto her shoulder. “We just should’ve had them nap sooner, that’s all. But you’re really special, you know.”

“Hmm?”

“You treat them like people,” Karen says quietly. “That’s, like, super rare. You showed Leo around when she got here instead of just making her go play, and you helped them calm down instead of yelling at them for being too loud or whatever. That’s what’ll help them the most.”

Regina gives a noncommittal hum and accepts the comfort offered by her girlfriend.

“And even if you don’t really play with them that much, they still like you,” Karen continues. “You still talk to them, and give them cool stuff. Playing isn’t the only way to interact with them.”

“I guess,” Regina agrees. “You’re good with them too.”

“They’re easy!” Karen says happily. “But I’m still a kid at heart, I guess. They’re easy for me to relate to, or whatever.”

Regina chuckles. “I can see that. You’ve always been the fun one.”

“Thanks,” Karen laughs back. “You okay now?”

“Yeah. Thank you, honey,” Regina says quietly, leaning in for a quick kiss. “I love you.”

Karen beams, it’s quite rare that Regina says ‘I love you’ first. “I love you too.”

——————

Leo wakes up from her nap first. Gretchen had been hiding in the study throughout the crayon debacle, leaving it to her girlfriends to handle. But the office is closer to the bedrooms, so she decides to be the one to go comfort Leo as she hears her start to cry.

“Hey, Leo lady, good morning,” she says gently. Leo scrambles down off the big bed she’s on and runs in for some comfort. “What happened?”

“Dark,” Leo whimpers, sniffling into Gretchen’s shoulder. “‘N big. Scared.”

“Aww, I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Gretchen hushes. “You don’t need to be scared, nothing here can hurt you. See?”

Leo nods in relief when she flips the light back on. “T’ank you.”

“Of course, honey. I think Karen is making lunch, are you hungry?” Gretchen asks, shutting the light back off and carrying her back into the kitchen. Leo nods and rubs her eyes blearily. She’s not quite awake yet.

“Hey, Leo,” Regina says quietly. “Good morning.”

“Hi,” Leo yawns. Regina chuckles gently.

“Do you feel better?”

Leo nods again. “Wha’ lunch?”

“I don’t know, we have a lot of things here,” Regina answers. “What would you like?”

Leo shrugs, so Gretchen carries her in to see her lunch options. Karen looks up from her sandwich when she hears them come in. “Hey, kiddo! Did you have a good nap?”

Leo nods with a little smile. “Auntie Kawen lunch?”

“Yeah! I’m having a sandwich, do you want one?” Karen asks. Leo nods. “Okay, what kind?”

Leo wiggles a little bit, so Gretchen sets her down to go look at the options. She and Karen both chuckle as Leo picks a large jar of peanut butter out of the cabinet and hands it to Karen.

“Dis p’ease,” she says. Karen takes it from her and unscrews the lid.

“Okay, do you want jelly in it too?”

“No t’ank you.”

“Okay, good job! I’ll bring it to you in a second,” Karen says. Leo runs back to Gretchen to spend some time together while they wait on lunch.

When they head back to the living room, Regina is gone. Leo looks around in confusion until she comes back with her twin. Regina beckons her over, so Leo lets go of Gretchen’s hand and heads over to her other aunt.

Regina sets Layla down next to her. “Do you two feel better now?” They both nod. “Good. Being angry like that is no fun, huh?” They both shake their heads. “Say sorry for fighting, then we can go play again.”

“Sorry Leo,” Layla says sheepishly.

“Sorry Lala,” Leo replies, wrapping her twin in a hug. Layla hugs her back for a second, popping up on her tippy toes to squeeze her sister.

“Sorry Aunt Weggie,” Layla adds. “Fer sc’eaming.” Leo nods to agree.

“Thank you for your apology, girls. Layla, let’s go pick your lunch and then you can play some more,” Regina says, picking them both back up and carrying them to the kitchen.

“There they are,” Gretchen says when they return. “Leo, your sandwich is ready, do you want something to drink with it?”

Leo nods and heads over to see what they have in the fridge, while Layla goes to Karen to pick her meal. She also just picks a sandwich and is quickly released to go pick her own beverage. Leo chooses apple juice, and Layla picks milk.

-

Surprisingly, each twin finishes about half of her sandwich. Karen helps them down off their chairs and releases them back to the living room for more playing. Leo dives right in and pulls out a small puzzle she brought, pulling out all the animals and trying to work out where they go again. Layla does her own for a while, but gets bored pretty quickly.

So she decides to go on a short adventure. Her Aunt GG disappeared into a room a while ago, so Layla heads off to find her.

-

Gretchen turns when she hears noises at the glass door to the office, spinning around in her chair to find Layla on her tippy toes trying to reach the doorknob. It takes a few tries, but she manages to open it and toddles into the room victoriously.

“Hi GG!” She chirps happily. Gretchen laughs and beckons her over.

“Hi Layla. What are you up to?” She chuckles, pulling her into her lap and re-doing Layla’s ponytail since it got messed up during her nap. Layla seems delighted to be sitting at the big desk where her aunties do their work.

“Lolo do puzzle,” Layla explains. “Don’t wan’ to.”

“Aww. That’s okay, do you wanna help me with a few things?” Gretchen replies. Layla nods eagerly, so Gretchen wheels them closer to the desk and pulls over a design she’s working on for a client.

“Ooh,” Layla says. “P’etty.”

“Thank you,” Gretchen chuckles. “I have to draw it first, and then I make it a real dress people can wear later.” Layla looks at her in awe. “I know, right? Here, help me with this. What color should I make these flowers here?”

Layla suddenly feels a massive amount of responsibility weigh on her two year old shoulders. This is very important. “Uhm… uh… lellow.”

“Yellow?” Gretchen asks. “That would be really pretty, actually, good job! Yellow would look nice with the blue here. Good pick!”

Layla gives a happy little wiggle on her lap, and watches eagerly as Gretchen sketches the flowers in with a yellow pencil.

“Aunt GG?” Layla pipes up as Gretchen moves onto another area.

“Yeah?”

“Me too?” Layla says. “P’ease?”

Gretchen chuckles. “You want a dress?” Layla nods. “Okay, we can try that. Here.”

She sketches out another model, with about the same proportions as Layla.

“Here, stand up, that’ll make this easier. How long should we make the skirt?” Gretchen asks, popping Layla onto her feet and crouching down in front of her. She points to her ankle, just below her knee, and just above her knee. “Which one?”

Layla looks at her legs for a long moment before she points above her knee. Gretchen smiles and nods.

“That’s what I would have picked too. And should it go out big or be closer to your body?” Gretchen asks, demonstrating where each type would fall. Layla picks a big poofy skirt. “Oh, yeah. You got some good style, chica. Now the sleeves, where should they go?”

Layla watches as Gretchen points to her wrist, just above her elbow, and her shoulder. She points to her shoulder when Gretchen takes her hand away and giggles as Gretchen tickles her.

“Okay, come see,” Gretchen says, picking her back up and resting her on her lap again. Layla smiles happily when she sees the form of the dress. “Now we get to pick what colors and patterns it has. What’s your favorite color?”

“Uhm… g’een,” Layla replies, pointing to her t-shirt. Gretchen grabs two different greens that would look good with a dress this shape, one closer to an emerald and the other a lighter fern sort of shade.

“Which green?” She asks, holding them in front of Layla. Layla picks the lighter one. “Ooh, yeah.” Gretchen carefully makes the skirt green, a plan for fabrics already starting to come together in her mind. “Now what should we do with the top bit?”

“Uh…” Layla says. “Sparkledy.”

“Sparkly? I didn’t even think of that,” Gretchen hums. She pencils it in the same color and adds marks to make sure she knows the bodice should be sequined. “You could be a designer too, Lala, look at this cool dress we drew!”

Layla giggles and looks proudly at the drawing. “Now make it?”

“I can’t make it right now, but yeah, soon! All my stuff to make it is at my work,” Gretchen explains. “Here, let’s take a picture to show your moms, they’re gonna be so proud of you.”

Layla smiles when Gretchen holds her phone up for a selfie, and laughs as her auntie kisses her cheek with an exaggerated smooch sound. “Cheeeese.”

————-

Cady reaches an arm out of the bath she’s dragged her wife into taking when her phone pings with a text. She carefully unlocks it to find a few messages from Gretchen.

fetchen: Sent a picture: i have a new assistant!

spacecadet: Aww! She looks so happy <3

fetchen: Sent a picture: no, seriously, she designed this dress basically herself

fetchen: are you open to having the girls as models at some point?? i’m kind of thinking i should start a children’s line

“No,” Janis pipes up quietly, having read through the conversation as well.

“Not even for Gretchen? It’s not like it’s a huge company. And how cute would they be in outfits like that?” Cady pleads. She’s wary of the idea as well, but knows Gretchen would handle everything safely.

Janis considers this aspect, and has to admit her daughters would make excellent models. Maybe she can make an exception for Gretchen. “Fine.”

spacecadet: You should, we’ll buy all your designs

spacecadet: And if they’re into the idea I don’t see why they couldn’t model for you. Layla loves a camera

fetchen: haha i’ll have to get Gina to take some pics of her then! she’s been looking for a way to connect with them anyway

spacecadet: Aww, how sweet. They love all of you

fetchen: that’s what I keep trying to tell her! anyway, I should probably get back to work with Lala. tell Janis I say hi!!

spacecadet: Of course!! Thank you <3

Janis nuzzles into her neck as she flicks the phone back off and sighs, in a mix of exhaustion and contentment.

“Layla must take after you,” Cady murmurs. “Little artist.”

Janis grins gently against her. “We’ll see.”

—————

“There you are,” Regina says as she enters the office to find Layla with Gretchen. “What are you two up to?”

“GG make d’esses!” Layla says happily. “I helpin’.”

“Oh, you’re the best helper,” Regina responds. Layla beams at her. “What did you do?”

Gretchen smiles too as Regina tips her head up and kisses her forehead, then starts gently looking through the designs. Gretchen pulls out the one she designed with Layla’s help and shows it to her.

“She did this pretty much herself,” she says. “And now I kind of want to start a children’s line.”

“You should,” Regina says. “You could make little matching ones of the adult designs you do. Have, like, a mommy and me line. I’d buy that and we don’t even have kids.”

“That’s a good idea,” Gretchen hums. “I’ll think about it more later. We’ve done enough work for today, let’s go play!”

Regina chuckles as Layla runs out of the room when Gretchen sets her down, her little ponytail bouncing behind her.

“You two are cute together,” she murmurs. “You’d make a good mom.”

“So would you,” Gretchen says, wrapping her arms around her waist. Regina shakes her head and tries to move away, but Gretchen refuses to let her go. “No, look at me.” She gently cups Regina’s chin and makes her look into her eyes. “If you wanted to, you would make a wonderful mother. You’re not your dad. You’ve made so much progress, sweetheart.”

Regina flushes at the pet name and buries her face in the crook of Gretchen’s neck. “We’ll talk about it?”

“Yeah,” Gretchen agrees quietly. “Always. Whenever you want, we’ll talk about it. You know you can always talk to us?”

Regina nods. “You know too?”

“Yeah,” Gretchen murmurs. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Regina whispers, unfortunately having to pull away from one of her favorite places, since her spine is beginning to ache at being hunched over to cuddle her smaller girlfriend. “We should probably go save Karen.”

Gretchen laughs and takes her hand, leading her back out to the living room.

—-

A short while later, Regina half-watches Karen giving the twins ‘airplane rides’ around the apartment, weaving around the furniture and in and and out of rooms. She’s also half-watching her Tiktok feed for the day. Hmm.

She brings up her text thread with Cady to ask a very important question.

-

Cady peeks at her phone when it chimes, picking it up from the bathroom counter to see the message. She laughs when she sees what it is, and heads back to the living room where Janis is lethargically sprawled on the couch.

“Regina wants to know if she can put the babies on Tiktok,” she giggles.

“Absolutely not,” Janis grumbles.

“Oh come on, grumpy pants,” Cady coaxes, turning their show back on and dimming the lights a bit. “Some of them are cute, and Gretchen says she’s having a hard time connecting with them. She said she’d send them to me for us to check before she posts them. Please?”

Janis does kind of want to see how her daughters react to a few of the trends she’s seen, and knows she’s wary of the idea simply because she still has a hard time trusting Regina. So, begrudgingly, “Maybe.”

Cady grins and kisses her hair, and they wait for the videos to come in.

They only have to wait a few minutes before the first one comes through. Cady pauses their show again and waits for Janis to turn onto her back on top of her, then brings up the video so they can both see.

Layla and Leo sit side by side on a very nice couch, their little socked feet not even making it to the end of the cushion. Regina hands each one a little gift bag, and they both tear in to see what present they’ve gotten. Layla gasps excitedly when she pulls out a banana.

“A ‘nana!” She says happily. Leo pulls out one of her own and looks at it in confusion. “Leo, we got ‘nanas! Aunt Weggie, open p’ease?”

Leo’s eyes go wide and and she gives an excited gasp when she realizes she actually has one of her favorite fruits in her hand, and asks for hers to be opened in sign language. Regina laughs and peels both bananas. Each girl takes theirs back and munches happily on it while the video closes. Just before it cuts, they both say a muffled, “T’ank you!” around their bites.

Cady and Janis both laugh, and Cady sends back a message to explain that they usually give them their bananas pre-peeled, so that’s why Leo didn’t recognize it.

The next video comes through a few minutes later. Leo and Layla have finished their bananas and are still on the couch. Regina enters the room filming, rests her phone on the coffee table, and leaves the room.

It takes a second for them to notice, but Layla clocks the phone first. She rolls onto her tummy and slides off the couch before going to pick it up. She sees herself on the screen and pauses for a second to smile at her reflection before she goes running to find her auntie in the kitchen. The background moves wildly as Layla pokes her little tongue out in her concentration, and the rhythmic little thumps of her footsteps can be heard.

“Aunt Weggie!” She calls happily when she finds her. “You left you phone!”

“I left my phone?” Regina says in fake shock. Layla toddles over and gives it back. “Oh, thank you! You’re very responsible.”

The camera flips around to show Layla wrapped around Regina’s legs, giving a wide smile up at her just before it cuts.

“Aww,” Cady coos. “We’ve trained them well.”

“She’s so cute,” Janis chuckles, tapping the video to play it again.

The next one features Leo, sitting on Regina’s lap in the kitchen. Regina explains that Leo had asked for a drink and they’re going to see how well she can pour it herself. A small glass is put in front of the toddler, and she’s offered a bottle of almond milk.

Leo takes the bottle carefully and tips it over the glass, slowly pouring some into the cup. She has the right motions, but quickly gets carried away and fills the cup too much. It spills over onto the counter, and Regina quickly grabs the bottle to stop it. Both Leo and Regina pull the same face, wide eyes and lips pressed into a thin line as they look into the camera.

“Oh no,” Leo says. “Needa towel, p’ease.”

Someone else, most probably Gretchen, hands over some paper towels, and Leo carefully swipes it over the counter to clean up her mess.

“There we go,” she says, sounding more like ‘dairy doe’.

“Good job!” Regina congratulates as Leo ever so carefully picks up her very full cup of milk and takes a sip. Regina helps her get down off her lap, and a ‘T’ank you!’ can be faintly heard. “You’re welcome!”

“Oh goodness,” Cady laughs. “At least she cleaned up after herself. Poor Regina.”

“And she’s polite,” Janis chuckles quietly. “Her sweet little voice.”

“We’re doing a good job,” Cady says quietly. “With them.”

Janis nods in agreement and scrolls back up to the video with the bananas.

-

It takes a long while for the next video to come through, and Regina explains that they’d taken a break to eat dinner (alfredo pasta) and then to clean said dinner off the twins. Layla had apparently taken a special liking to the meal and managed to get it in her hair, so that took some extra time.

But a video of two clean babies comes through. Regina is sitting on the ground wrapped in a fitted sheet so just her face is visible. Karen seems to be filming this time, and encourages the girls to go get their auntie. Leo seems a little concerned, but they both run over to Regina.

When they just make it, Regina suddenly opens the sheet and snatches both inside like a venus flytrap. They both scream in surprise, but their adorable giggles are quickly heard. The video cuts, and they both run into the trap again, and again, and again.

Another one comes through, and this time Gretchen is the one in the sheet. The twins don’t stop laughing the whole time, their giggles making a precious audio for the video. Just before it cuts, Gretchen is looking exhausted, but Leo calls a delighted “‘Gain!”

So, another one comes through with Karen in the sheet. The twins’ hair is frizzy and their cheeks are pink by this point. Cady is just glad they’re getting some energy out before bedtime.

Janis laughs gently at each video, wondering how she hasn’t thought of this. Apparently her daughters are easily entertained. “I miss them.”

“I miss them too,” Cady sighs. “I’ll need to go get them soon, though, it’s getting late.” An alert suddenly comes through her phone then, letting them know a thunderstorm is approaching. “Uh oh.”

“Maybe not,” Janis chuckles. “You shouldn’t drive in that.”

“But they freak out during storms,” Cady says anxiously. “Especially Leo. But I can’t get there before it hits.”

“She’ll be fine,” Janis comforts. “Regina can handle that.”

“I hope so.”

—————

Regina grins happily as she reads the comments for the videos she’s posted so far, everyone delighting in her precious nieces. She’s reading one that seems nearly distraught at how polite they are when a text comes through from Cady.

spacecadet: Hey, I just saw that a storm is coming. Jay doesn’t want me to drive in it but both of the girls get really scared

Regina checks her weather app and sees that a small but strong storm is rapidly approaching. She peeks out the window to find that the sky is already grey with dark clouds.

reginald: Yeah, you definitely shouldn’t drive. I think we can make it, you come when it stops.

spacecadet: Are you sure?? I know they’ll be fine but you shouldn’t have to deal with both of them screaming

reginald: Oh, it’s fine, we already have. There was a little incident before naptime. And scared babies are easy, we’ll be fine.

spacecadet: Incident?

reginald: Bad word choice. Both had a tantrum, they were tired and wanted the same crayon.

spacecadet: Oh goodness, I’m sorry

reginald: Cady, they’re two, it’s fine. We dealt with it and they’re fine. Is there anything you usually do with them during storms?

spacecadet: If you say so. If we know they’re coming we usually warn them, and if it’s really bad we hide in the basement so the noise is muffled. But you can do whatever you need to

reginald: Sounds like a plan. See you whenever it passes.

spacecadet: Thanks, Regina :)

“Girls!” Regina calls gently as she clicks her phone off. Leo and Layla come barreling down the hallway to her when they hear her call, and Gretchen and Karen quickly follow. Regina crouches down to the smalls’ height to explain the situation. “There’s a thunderstorm coming, but you don’t need to be scared. We can all have a storm party!”

“A pawty?” Leo says anxiously. She instinctively reaches for Layla’s hand, nervous at the prospect of a storm. Especially without Mama or Mommy there to comfort them.

“Yeah!” Regina says excitedly. “Come on, let’s get ready.”

Gretchen and Karen seem confused, but follow along with Regina’s plan. They open the curtains on one of the floor-to-ceiling windows so they can see out, and the twins helpfully grab all the couch cushions and pillows they can carry. Regina gets blankets, and they build a little fort in front of the window, held up by a lamp.

Regina, Gretchen, and Karen head inside, and the twins sit in between them to wait.

After a few minutes, the first flash of lightning lights up the dark sky. Both twins let out a whimper of fright and scream when a crack of thunder follows.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Gretchen comforts as they both bury their faces in her chest.

“Loud,” Leo whimpers.

“I know,” Gretchen hushes. “The storm can’t hurt you, it’s just a scary noise.”

“Let’s play a game,” Regina coaxes. Both twins peek their little faces out to see her. “Come here.” Anxiously, they both crawl into her lap and look out the window. “Let’s count.”

“Count?” Layla asks anxiously, jumping and letting out a squeak of fright at the next lightning.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Regina says, coaxing them to look. “One… two… three… four… five… oh, there’s the thunder!”

“Why count?” Leo asks, poking her face out when the booms stop.

“If we can count high that means the storm is far away,” Regina explains. “It’s gonna get closer, and then it’ll move away and be done. And we’re safe in here.”

She smiles as she sees the twins take some deep breaths to calm down and cuddle closer into her. They still jump when the lightning goes by, but this time they count with her.

“One… two… free… four… fibe,” they say anxiously. This time, they giggle when the thunder hits. Layla says, “I did it!”

“Did you make it thunder?” Regina chuckles. Both girls nod. “Good job. Oh, here we go, do it again!”

They only make it to three this time.

“Get close?” Leo asks curiously, looking to her aunties.

“Uhhuh,” Regina confirms. Karen and Gretchen switch to be on either side of her and cuddle in close with everyone. “It’s getting closer and then it’ll go away.”

A few more rounds go by where they get as high as three, and then they start only making it to one or two. Luckily, they don’t seem scared anymore. They look excited to be tracking the storm and making the thunder happen.

“Oh, we can count higher now, the storm is leaving,” Regina says happily. “You’re doing so good!”

Gradually, the rain slows and the storm dissipates. Leo and Layla look curiously out the window the whole time, and make no effort to leave Regina’s lap once the sun gently peeks out from the horizon, beginning to set for the day. Strangely, Regina finds herself not wanting to let them go, either.

Gretchen and Karen gently exit their little tent to get all the twins’ things packed back up, and find their shoes and jackets once again. Gretchen is just tying on the last little shoe when they hear a knock at the door.

“Who could that be, girls?” Karen says excitedly, also trying to stop Nutmeg from barking at it too much. “Go see!”

Both twins eagerly run down the hallway to the front door, and Leo stands on her tippy toes to open it.

“Mama!” They both call happily, wrapping each of their little bodies around one of her legs.

“Hi, sweet girls!” Cady says happily, bending to pick each of them up and kiss all over their little faces. “Oh, I missed you so much! What did you do today?”

Both girls immediately launch into a story, explaining in as much detail as they can the exciting events that happened with their aunties. Cady enters and shuts the door behind her as they rattle off their favorite parts.

“Really? Did you have so much fun?” Cady asks when they finally have explained everything they wanted to. They both nod eagerly. “Good. We have to go home now, can you go say thank you?”

Both twins wiggle to be set down and run back to their aunties, giving hugs and saying thank you for a fun day. Cady follows suit too, and grins as her daughters seem to linger for just a while longer with Regina.

“Thank you so much,” Cady says gratefully. “You guys are so good with them, thank you.”

“Anytime!” Karen says happily. “Bye girls!”

Both girls wave goodbye and call a, “Bye-bye!” over their mama’s shoulder as they’re carried out of the apartment and down to go home. Cady chuckles and kisses each forehead gently as she buckles them into their car seats.

——————

“Mommy, Mommy!” Both girls call happily when Cady unlocks the front door to let them in, toddling full speed down the hall and over to Janis on the couch. Cady stays behind for a second and gives a small grin at the wide smile her wife gets upon seeing their children.

“Hi, girls!” Janis says happily, sounding like she already has a bit of energy back. It usually takes her a minimum of a few days to recover from an episode, but she’s already making good progress through this one. “I missed you.”

“Miss Mommy too,” the twins say at the same time. Janis grins contently as they both worm their way up on top of her for a snuggle.

“Aww, my sweet girls,” Janis coos. “Did you have fun with your aunties?”

Cady rolls her eyes lovingly, knowing Janis just opened a whole can of worms for herself. At least she has enough time to go get the twins’ bedtime things ready for them while they explain their whole day to their mommy.

-

The twins apparently gave Janis an abridged version of the story, because when Cady comes back she finds them all silent. Both twins are cuddled into Janis’ chest, one little head on each of her shoulders. Janis has a hand resting on each of their backs, holding them close to her. Her eyes are closed contently, and she looks the most at peace Cady thinks she’s ever seen from her. She’s glad to see it.

She sneakily snaps a few pictures of her perfect little family before she does unfortunately have to break up the little cuddle party. “Alright, munchkins, it’s bedtime.”

“I can get them down,” Janis says quietly, opening her eyes when Cady kisses her forehead.

“If you want, of course,” Cady agrees. “I got their jammies ready and everything.”

Janis nods and picks up both of their sleepy girls, standing carefully and carrying them upstairs. Cady flops onto their bed and listens down the hall as Janis gets them into their pajamas, brushes their teeth and hair, and reads them some bedtime stories.

The end of story time is her cue, and she hauls herself up to go to the nursery to kiss their babies goodnight. Janis is hunched over and pressed against Leo’s little face, giving her her goodnight kisses and having their little nightly chat. Cady goes to Layla first.

“Did you have a good day today?” She whispers. Layla nods. “Good! What was your favorite part?”

“Uh… doggy,” Layla responds.

“You liked playing with Nutmeg?” Cady chuckles. “I bet she liked you too. What part did you not like?”

“Fundersto’m,” Layla says.

“I know, that must’ve been scary,” Cady replies. “But you made it through the whole thing even though you were scared! You were so brave, Ladybug.” Layla beams at her, and Cady smiles back. “Are we gonna have our best day tomorrow?” Layla nods again. “Good, get some good sleep so you’re ready for it.”

Cady leans down to kiss her forehead and down her little nose.

“Goodnight, my sweet little pumpkin, have sweet dreams,” Cady whispers. “I love you so much.”

“Luh you, Mama,” Layla says quietly, followed by a yawn.

Cady and Janis switch twins then, repeating their process on the other girl before turning on the white noise machine and nightlight, and leaving them to sleep.

—————

Across town, all three Plastics flop into bed early, exhausted after a very, very long day. It’s Regina’s turn in the middle, her favorite nights. She’d never admit it, but she loves having each of her girlfriends cuddled up on either side of her all night.

“We did good,” Gretchen yawns. Her girlfriends nod in agreement. “We… we should have a chat tomorrow.”

“Stop yawning, you’re making me yawn,” Regina grumbles. Gretchen chuckles and leans in for a kiss. Regina suddenly forgets her complaints and kisses her back.

“Ahem,” Karen coughs. Regina rolls her eyes lovingly, but flips over to give Karen some affection too. “Thank you.”

“I love you,” Regina whispers, kissing both of her girlfriends and cuddling in under the duvet.

“I love you too,” Gretchen murmurs, also kissing both of them before cuddling in on Regina’s right side.

“I love you three,” Karen says, getting her kisses in and settling in on Regina’s left. They say this every night, and still always giggle at ‘I love you three.’

They drift off tangled in each other, completely exhausted but completely content.

It takes a village.

---

hope you enjoyed!!

i’m still undecided on whether to give the plastics kids, which is why i left the ending sort of intentionally vague in that regard :))) so let me know!! if you guys want i can totally do a kid fic for them, or just give them a kid and not write about it. or not give them a kid!!! up to you guys!

im hoping to have requests re-opened by next week! I'm just finishing up some last little things here and there and then they should FINALLY be reopened bc its been forever omg. anyway!

thank you all so much for reading and have a lovely day!

lots of love,

ezzy

[ooops-i-arted]

Okay real excited for this week's "What do you think of the newest episode of the Mandalorian from a child-development perspective" for S2E4

Once again Baby is babysat for a chunk of the episode, but when we do have him around it’s so much fun!

Omg the Baby’s First Electrical Engineering scene was so cute (even though the whole time I was yelling DIN DUMBASS DJARIN WHY ARE YOU LETTING A TODDLER PLAY WITH ELECTRICAL COMPONENTS at the tv screen, Dad Points LOST for that).  It was really pretty revealing though:

Din is so so patient with the kid.  He doesn’t harp on or criticize the baby or is anything but gently encouraging.  The poor man is on his own; Baby has probably been getting in his way the whole time, trying to “help” so Din decides to actually let him help.  Electrical engineering is not an age-appropriate task, but at least Din is trying to get him engaged and direct Baby’s interest in a positive way.  (Maybe next time just let him hand you tools, though?)  And Din is clearly more comfortable directing the baby.

Din talking about colors and Baby carefully considering the wires’ colors implies to me that this is something they have been talking about, not just something that just happened.  Even if Din hasn’t been actively trying to teach colors, this is probably something they’ve been talking about.  “We’re having red soup for dinner tonight.”  “Look at that blue planet.”  This is excellent for Baby learning about the world around him, and things like colors are a basic, age-appropriate topic for Din to talk to him about.

Baby is so excited to be a helper!  He wants to do good and help his dad!  Another really strong sign of affection and trust.  He’s not even that bugged when he gets shocked - Dad is there, it’s all right.

THE SOUP SCENE WAS ALSO THE CUTEST.  Baby trying to peek under Dad’s helmet - he knows something is under there and he’s naturally curious, since he’s not old enough to understand the Creed yet (and presumably Din hasn’t sat him down and explained “this is why you can’t see my face”).  But Baby copying exactly how he drinks the soup was so precious I almost died, from face value cuteness but also from the fact it’s yet another sign that he loves, trusts, and values Din.  Baby sees Din as someone worth copying and someone he should model himself after.  It speaks volumes to how highly Baby thinks of him.  Kids usually imitate people they like and want to be like.  Baby wants to be just like his daddy.

Baby seems to be perfectly comfortable with Greef and Cara, suggesting he remembers them and generally has good recall.  Although in general I’m surprised he doesn’t have more attachment issues/separation anxiety.  (Din seems to be the one with separation anxiety these days lol.)  Ofc this just suggests that Baby is confident that Din will always come back for him no matter what, so he has no issue leaving him, and a classroom would be a new and exciting place to explore for him.  Especially if there are cookies.

The cookie sequence was another cute one but the fact that Baby asks first again suggests that this is something he has learned.  Before he either grabbed food himself (frog in The Child, eggs and spiders in The Passenger) or was handed food (by Kuiil in The Reckoning and implied by Din in The Passenger).  So perhaps Din is teaching him in between the scenes to signal for food.  A useful skill both for manners and to communicate with Din that he’s hungry!  (Just think of sweet little Yodito walking up to his dad and holding out a hand for food!  "Please Dad can I have some more?”)  Maybe Din is teaching him other ways to communicate as well, which is fantastic because if Baby can communicate he will be less likely to engage in Shenanigans (like pressing buttons) to get Din’s attention.  Of course Din hasn’t yet taught him to accept that no means no... but it’s still an improvement.

(Do you think that kid tried to get his cookies back, saw that the kid’s dad is a fully armed and armored Mandalorian, and just noped out and accepted he got bullied into losing his cookies by a toddler?)

Oh and Greef loses Cool Grandpa Points for dropping Baby into a COMPLETELY AGE-INAPPROPRIATE SETTING.  That’s clearly an elementary school class.  What, was there no preschool program??  BRING HIM TO MY CLASS PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

I am kind of sad we didn’t see what Baby did at school or how pickup went....did he make Din a cute little handprint craft?  Did he have trouble leaving school or was he eager to be picked up by his dad?  Did anyone take a Baby’s First Day of School holo?  Questions for ACCPOV, I guess, since this episode is definitely added to the list.

Dad Points gained because despite the time crunch, Din still took the time to buckle his little one in to the seat before taking off.  Maybe next episode he’ll pick up an actual car seat?  Baby is clearly perfectly content with the situation, happy to do a barrel roll even when it upsets his tummy, but he really needs a proper car seat.  It’s only a matter of time before he goes flying and it concerns me every time I watch an episode.

[arthurflecksgirl]

Thank you ❤️❤️ Can you write that the reader doesn't let Arthur to touch her belly because she’s insecure about her body? Like while cuddling Arthur is going to put his hand on her belly but she stops him, he is confused and asks her why. She at first is ashamed to tell him why but she trusts Arthur and eventually tells him that she's insecure of her body, afraid Arthur could reject her. He comforts her, tells her that she is beautiful and maybe at the end she allows him to caress her belly❤️

Hi my lovely Anon. I finally wrote your request. I feel like this one was pretty personal for you ,so I really really hope I did okay and I hope with all my heart that its comforting and what you imagined it to be. Thank you for trusting me with such a personal request. It means a lot.

It was a chilly night in apartment 8J. You just got home from work to find Arthur smoking on the couch. Already cuddled up under his green blanket. A huge, clown faced pumpkin drowning the dark room in soft candle light.

"Hey darling, seems like you`ve started without me". Arthur blew out the smoke "I`m sorry Y/N. I had to distract myself a bit. I had an nervous episode on my day off and I thought it would help me to be creative."

You gave him a kiss on the forehead before you took your jacket off "I was kidding. Its okay. We have enough pumpkins to carve together anyway. I like the clown face you made."

Arthur put his cig in the astray "Really. Yeah well his nose is a bit off but I hope you`ll like it." He looked at you with love in his eyes as he lifted the blanket "Wanna join me? I`m kinda cold." he smirked.

As soon as you got undressed except for your underwear, you noticed how cold the room was "It is indeed very cold. I need the warmth of your body now".

"I think I can do something about that" he giggled as you crawled under his blanket. This was the best part of the day. Sinking into his arms, feeling his skin on yours. Him pulling you closer.

It was much warmer under the blanket. The space underneath was filled up with his body heath, "I missed you, baby" he wispered. "Being home just doesnt feel right".

You knew that Arthur had a hard time being alone at his apartment. As much as he wished for his own space when Penny was still  living with him, he didnt knew what to do since she was at the hospital. Usually you were at home when he was coming from work. But one day off was enough for him to feel kinda helpless about time.

"I know Arthur, I´m so sorry.  I wish I didnt had to work today. "

"Its okay....I managed to distract myself. I was working on some jokes and on the pumpkin. "

You noticed the empty bowl on the table "Did you ate the pumpkin soup I made for you?"

Arthur nodded "Yeah. Thank you, it was delicious. I cant even remember the last time I enjoyed to eat something".

"So good to hear, Artie." you rested your head upon his chest, feeling it lifting up and down while he let his gentle hand slide up and down your arms.

"Do you think we should....like...stay here? Its not the best place to live, right? I feel like I cant offer you any better and it makes me feel bad". The sadness in his voice was undeniable.

"Arthur...I love being in your apartment."

"Really? I mean....its not a home..."

"You dont feel at home here?"

"I dont know...I never knew anything else...it just.... I dont know..."

"Arthur, if you wanna move its ok. If not its okay,too. Home is where you are. Your arms are my idea of home. "

Arthur pulled you even closer, he sounded like he was about to tear up "You`re serious arent you?"

"Of course" you whispered back

"You`re so good to me. I promise to you, as soon as my stand ups are ready for the big clubs  we will leave this fucked up city."

"Where do you want to go? I mean do you dream of a specific place?"

"California. Maybe. I always wondered about the beach and the palm trees."

"Hmmmm sounds nice. Making love on the beach."

Arthur kissed the corner of your lips. Right where your smile was. "You want to share some love?"

"On the beach?"

A smirk was growing on his lips  "How about here and now?"

You turned your face, starting to cover his chest with kisses. He was so fragile. Every inch of his body needed to be kissed. Arthurs hand wandered to your shoulders, down your back to open your bra. The green blanket still covering both of you like a protective tent. Arthur kissed you while his hands gently caressed your breasts. His touch was medicine to you. Sometimes you could have sworn that Arthur had healing hands which helped healing your wounds. Your inner scars. The ones that werent visible to the eyes.

But then he rested his hand on your belly. And something happened inside of you. Something you never thought could happen while Arthur was touching you. Something that hurt inside. His hand on your belly felt wrong. Not because you didnt wanted him to touch you. But because you felt uncomfortable with that part of your body. You didnt liked it and you didnt wanted him to notice.

Your mind kept asking questions. Screams inside of your head.

What if  you stop him right now? Would he get upset?

The thoughts inside of your head kept spinning while his fingertips caressed that part that made you feel insecure for such a long time. It was like being exposed. You never felt so vulnerable before in your whole life. It was unbearable.

"Arthur. Please. Don`t." you grabbed his wrist and looked into his eyes. He looked confused. His other hand reached out to stroke your tummy "Y/N? I just want to give you some..."

"Arthur, stop!" the moment you told him so, your eyes started watering by looking into his eyes. He looked hurt. Like you just told him something terrible. He took his hand back, swallowing hard, while his fingers started shaking.

"What is it ? I.m.....I`m sorry if I....if I did something wrong?" there was so much pain in his voice and confusion in his eyes.

You covered your face and started to cry. Overwhelmed by the fact that you just told him to stop touching you.

Arthur ran his figers through his hair. In a nervous, uncomfortable way.

"Y/N? Please talk to me? Why are you crying? Please!"

He looked at his hands. Did he do something wrong? Did he hurt you? He thought he was being gentle with you. Was he hallucinating? Did he do something else than he actually rememberd? For a second he was scared of himself.

"Did I do something? Tell me. Did I do something I shouldnt have?"

You uncovered your face so he could see your tears "Noooo Artie. Its not you...."

Arthur wrapped his arms around his waist. Like he tried to hug himself " Do you want me to stop touching you? Am I not allowed to love you anymore? Dont you love me anymore?"Arthur tried  to swallow down a laugh. Thats when you realized he actually felt like crying. He grabbed his throath.

Your hand reached for his wrist again. This time to comfort him "Dont cry, Arthur. Its not what you think. I love you with all my heart, more than anything in this fucked up world. "

A silent, tortured laugh escaped his lips "But why dont you want me to touch you anymore?"

"Its not like I dont want you to touch me. I want it. I need it, Arthur. Its just....that part of my body you just touched. I feel pretty insecure about my belly."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

"I...I didnt knew ....you never said anything..."

"I know....I didnt knew how to"

Arthur rubbed his eyes, trying to figure out what was going on .

"You trust me, right?"

"Sure I do"

"You can tell me anything, Y/N. I asure you. I will listen. I am a good listener. People never listened to me and I know how it feels like to be unheard. So I always listen"

You layed your hand on his thigh "I know...I guess I was afraid you would reject me when I tell you that I dont like my belly to be touched."

Arthur took you in his arms "How could you ever think I would reject you? "

"I`m sorry, Arthur"

"Me,too. But...can I ask you a question?" he faced you again as you nodded.

"Why are you feeling this way about your belly? Its beautiful."

You looked down. It was hard to look in his intense eyes while talking about this "No,its not. It`s not beautiful".

"To me it is. " Arthur whispered softly "Its a part of you. A part of the woman I love and worship. I adore every aspect of your soul and every inch of your body equaly. "

"Oh Arthur...I dont know what to say..."

"If you dont want me to touch it I wouldnt do it again but please know that your belly deserves love,too. It deserves to be touched. To be kissed."

A silent tear fell from your eyes. Arthur was there to wipe it away with his fingertip.

"Remember when I was ashamed of being so skinny? Of my bones sticking out? You told me I was beautiful this way. "

"I remember. Because you are!"

Arthur kissed your cheek "And so are you!"

His kiss felt like a cure to your sadness.

"You kissed across my ribs and shoulder bone. Telling me that there is nothing to be ashamed about."

You nodded.

"Would you allow me to do the same to you?" Arturs green eyes pierced you with admiration. He was serious. He loved anything about you, even the parts you disliked so much.

"You mean....?"

"Yeah....only if you want me to do it of course. I wouldnt ask you again if you dont want to."

You tried to collect your thoughts. He was right about how you kissed his insecurities away. Maybe it would work the other way around,too. You trusted him with that. More than anything.

"Okay"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Yes I am....sure. I mean...lets..try it. "

Arthur gently pushed you into the sheets.

"I´m gonna put my lips to your beautiful belly now, okay? Just tell me to stop if you dont feel comfortable."

"OKay, Artie. I trust you".

A moment later you felt his lips on your tummy. Your body froze for a second. You werent used to let yourself relax in such an intimate way.

At first it was barely a touch. His upper lp felt like a butterfly landing on your skin.

"Is that okay?" he asked.

"Yes"

His lips slowly opened before his warm breath was ghosting across your skin.

A gentls kiss. Softly. And another.

Your muscles finally relaxed under his touch.

"You`re so beautiful, my angel. I`m so lucky to be able to kiss you. To love you like that."

Arthur covered your belly with sweet kisses while you played with his hair.

He was your cure.

Your medicine.

And with every kiss you found salvation.

[thekingsfortress]

-----------------------------------------------

Waiting for the right time

Word Count

3464 Words

AGERE JANUS JUST CUZ WE NEEDED MORE!! THANKS!!

Also this is my first Agere oop, please be nice ^^

Proof reading- who's she never heard of her-

It had been a long week for Janus, he had to calm down Patton from his little rampage, he had to try and convince Roman that he wasnt all that bad, which didn't work at all, and on top of it, he revealed his name.

At the moment he kinda regretted sharing his name, he wasn't ready to share it, not at all, however he felt it necessary to get thomas to just listen to him, and lo and behold, it worked! However, because he made himself so vulnerable, he left himself wide open to Romans laughter.

He knows he shouldn't have said what he had said to him, he knew how insecure the other got, but he couldn't help it, the other just mad him so angry!!! He felt like he needed to protect himself... but- but.. he ended up hurting the other.

He knew he should go and apologize... but he really didn't want to, the other started it so why should he Apologize first!

He shakes his head, holding it in his hands, he had to stop thinking like that... he knows that if he kept it up, he would end up regressing.. he can't afford to do that, it was too soon after the video, he had to make sure no one would come for him.. he also really didn't wanna.. he was always too lonely when he regressed, it's not like he could help it, he knows if he told the others.. they would just laugh.. just like how they laughed at his name.

Janus sighs, glancing around the room, trying to find something to focus on so that he wouldn't lose himself to his other half. He hears a knock on his door and gets up, going over and opening it.

Staring at him was the light blue side everyone knew as Patton, Janus hums, he can't say he didn't expect a visit from the light side, he knew sooner or later the other would come, he WAS basically accepted by Thomas now, so it was only time before the dad side decided to pay him a visit.

Janus tried to keep his composure and looks at the light side, clearing his throat, "good evening Patton, what do I owe the pleasure for such an intelligent, like minded individual such as yourself to come visit a dark, visious, evil, side like me?" He questions, plastering on a smirk.

"You aren't evil Janus" Patton says, using the sides real name, making said side flinch just a bit, he was definitely going to get used to that.

"Ahah, alright, whatever you say, however, you still haven't answered my question" Janus rolls his eyes a little, glancing at his gloves, his thumb picking at his fingers just a bit.

"Oh, well I was wonderingggg if you would like to uhhhh- join in on movie night with me and the others!" Patton grins happily.

Janus's eyes sparkle for a small second, movies!!! With the light sides! Did that mean candy and popcorn and- wait no! Stop!!! You clearly can't join if you are going to be like this!!!

Janus shakes his head for a bit, not noticing the concerned look on Pattons face, "kiddo?" The fatherly side questions.

Janus's head snaps up at the nickname, confusion on his face, Patton had never called him kiddo, not even once! He awhs a bit, he felt his chest swell up with joy at the nickname, but he pushed that aside, "what?" He questions.

"Is something wrong?" Patton asks, "you looked a bit dazed out when I asked you to join.. you seemed happy at first but then just stopped?"

Janus curses under his breath, "I-I'm fine, it's nothing, I just have a few things I need to get done with.."

Patton pouts a little, "awhhhh! You can't even spare one night?" He asks

"Nope! Too much work, I'm sorry Patton but this is a matter between life or death!" Janus nods to himself, forcing himself not to giggle at that little statement- damnit! That sounded too kiddish!!!!

It did make Patton giggle though, "okay kiddo, just know you're welcomed if you want to come okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, I know... now go watch your movies" Janus rolls his eyes, smirking a little.

Patton beams and nods, leaving the room and running back up the stairs to the light side.

Contrary to the light sides belief, Janus could hear all their voices, all their happiness, it made him feel every bit lonelier.

Janus bites his lip, maybe he can.. indulge his urges just for a tinyyyyy bit, but only a little!!!! And only cuz a side already talked to him! He doubts anyone else will come to see him again for the night.

Janus goes over to his nightstand and slides it a bit before pulling back a floorboard and pulling out a tiny box, he opens it and pulls out his plus snake and coloring books, he doesn't have anything else.. he can't summon much things like how the others can..

He does have a snake onesie though!!!! The thought of his snake onesie just makes him really really excited, he lets out little giggles and runs over to his closet and reaches to the far far back, he pulls it out and smiles.

The little one struggles to take off his clothes, whining a little, he does eventually get them off, however, trying to pull the onesie on was a totally different problem.

You see, Janus has been repressing his headspace for way too long, and when he finally decided to indulge in it this time, he slipped really fast, and not only that, but he slipped to a very young age, making him struggle immensely.

The bab sniffles, whining, he was really confused, which hole went where. He ended up guessing a few times and had ended up getting it on, although not zipped. It took him probably 10 tries just to get the onesie on. The zipper still remained down though, he tried zipping it but it got stuck! But.. it wasn't that bad, at least he got most of it on.

He goes over to his coloring books and grabs the strawberry shortcake one, he then grabs his 120 pack of crayons and his snakey and lays on the floor, he begins to color while listening to the others laugh from upstairs, from inside his room.

Janus slowly brings a thumb to his mouth, whimpering quietly, he sniffles a little, he wanted to be with the others, but he knew the others wouldn't accept him, they would just laugh at him..

The child tries to focus on his coloring book until he's finishing coloring his page, he smiles when he finishes and holds it up giggling, he gets up, ready to find someone to hang it up on a fridge.. before he realized, oh yeah.... he didn't have anyone...

He heard more laughter coming from upstairs and felt tears well in his eyes before he rubs them away, he gotta be a big kid, he couldn't bother the grown ups, they'd only get upset at him, he didn't wanna make them upset..

Janus gets up, thumb properly positioned in his mouth as he goes over to the tv, he turns it on like a big boy and ploped back on the floor, grabbing the controller, he looks at the pretty colors of Netflix and Hulu, he knew which colors associated with which and picked Hulu, it had Henry hugglemonster on it!!!

Janus giggles a little and plays the show, holding his stuffed snake in his arms and singing along or more like babbling along to the tune. After about 2 episodes of that he gets up, he was hungry... but he knew he couldn't go out... cuz if he went out, the others would know.. unless he bes sneaky! Maybe he can have icecream!!!!

Janus makes it his goal to be sneaky and get nummy icecream, he gets up and makes his way to the stairs, when he looks up however, he becomes a bit scared, it was so far up.. what if he trips and falls?

B-But.. But Icecream-

Janus bites his lip and takes in a deep breath, for the honor of icecream!!!!

He starts to climb the stairs, holding his stuffed snake tightly in his arms, trying to be as quiet as possible, occasionally putting a finger to his lips as if the snake could make any sound.

Once he makes it up the stairs he quietly opens the door, happy that it doesn't make a sound, also happy that the kitchen is just right there.. though.. that meant the living room was right there too..

Janus bites his lip, maybe he couldn't get icecream.. b-but maybe he could get oreos!!!! Oreos are the second best.

Keeping his giggles down, the boy moves fast to try and get oreos, the only problem was that he didn't know where they were and if the lights had them in the first place.

Janus starts with the bottom cubborts, being extra quiet, holding his snake tightly, crawling from cubbort to cubbort, but all that was in the bottom cubborts were pans and sink supplies an dumb stuff like that.

The mentally two year old pouts before looking up, giggling quietly before covering his mouth, he looks at the couch to see if anyone heard but no one turned their heads.

Alright!!! Time to continue with his plan! He climbs onto the counter shakily but also trying to be quiet, thankful that the movie the light sides were watching was really loud.. at least to him.. his ears were sensitive. So he thought that just because it was loud to him it was loud to the others to.

And yes- he did gotta climb on the counter, he was the shortest side an couldn reach, shuddup.

The boy pulls the cubbort open quietly, finding no oreos which made him pout quietly, he went to another cubbort and pulls it open, and no luck, he whines quietly, feeling his tummy rumbling, lip trembling, there was no oreos and there wasn't anything good to eat...

Janus pouts a little ready to give up till he sees one more cubborr he hasn't opened, he goes over to it, still standing on the counter and opens it quietly... wellll... theres no oreos button

There isssss Crofters!!!!

Janus gasps excitedly, maintaining quiet and grabbing the jar, he doesn't have difficulty opening it as it had been opened before it seems. It was definitely still a new jar, barely eaten out of, well until the mentality 2 year old sits on the counter, eating it with his bare hands.

The others didn't even notice that Janus was in their kitchen until Logan got up and was going to call it a night, when he seen dee eating HIS crofters, the others were quick to look where logan was looking.

Janus wasn't paying any attention to the others, he was just eating the yummy jam stuff, it was really really nummy.

Logan was furious, he makes his way over to the snake side, "hey!" He calls, scaring the life out of the bab who dropped the jar out of fear, making it shatter all over the ground.

Logan gasps as he sees the jar drop, he looks up even more angry, "what do you think you're doing!!! That was my crofters!!!" Logan exclaimed

"Logan be nice, you can share!"

"Not when he sticks his saliva filled hands into my crofters jar!!"

"Loga-" Patton starts, but stops when he hears crying, he turns to face the deceitful side, face full of shock, he did not expect this to happen.

Logan and Patton were now staring at a red faced crying Janus, it made both the sides super confused.

Virgil and Roman were also watching confused from the background, Roman a bit more frustrated that the side had came and ruined everything again!

Patton suddenly takes notice of the others attire and the plus he was holding close, listening as the boy sobs out i'm sorries.

Patton suddenly knows what's going on and so does Logan, suddenly feeling very very guilty.

Patton goes over to the child, and gently rubs a hand through his hair, "hey Jan?" He questions quietly

The sobbing child doesn't answer, trembling with the fear of getting caught and the fear of getting in trouble, he was still saying sorry over and over.

Patton quietly gets down to the others hight, even though he was sitting on the counter, patton may be the second shortest but he still was a few inches taller then jan.

"Sweetie, its okay, hey hey, in 4, hold 7, out 8, remember buddy?" Patton asks, also tapping out the pattern on the others back just in case.

Janus sobs still, but he can feet the pattern on his back and knows what to do, he inhails for 4, holds for 7 but it breaks off of 8, he was about to sob harder until patton gave him a quick assurance.

"You're doing good buddy, can we try that again hon?" He asks.

Janus nods quietly and tries again, and after a few minutes, he's doing alright, theres still tears falling down his face, but at least he wasn't panicking.

Patton smiles softly. "There we go buddy" he says gently, "do you wanna tell me what happened hon?" Patton asks in his best caretaker voice he can muster, usually Logan was the one to do this with him, but he feels like Logan wouldn't be the best at this at the moment.

"Got scawed" Janus slurs over his words sniffling, rubbing at his eyes.

"Why's that buddy?" He asks again.

"Got cawght and was bein bad" he sniffles.

"Aw kiddo, you weren't being bad" Patton says gently, running a hand through his hair.

"Uh-huh! I stow wogans cofters!" He exclaims, his little voice showing.

"Well that is a problem isn't it" Patton says making Janus nod through tears, "but I'm sure Logan can forgive you can't he?" Patton asks, looking at Logan who was watching the scene with guilt, not realizing he was being spoken too.

"Can't he" Patton nudges him, making his eyes widen, he nods, "O-Oh yes, Janus, I apologize for frightening you, it was not my intention, however, next time you want to steal my crofters, you could just asks" Logan says.

Janus looks up at him then at Patton, "M' Not in twouble?" He asks.

"Of course not! It was an accident kiddo" Patton says gently.

Virgil and Roman were watching the whole scene in confusion, why was Janus acting like a little kid? Why was Patton and Logan not questioning this? What was going on?

"Um.. Padre?" Roman calls after clearing his throat.

Patton looks over at him, "whats up kiddo?" Patton asks, tilting his head.

"What is going on? Why are you treating deceit like a kid?" Roman asks both his and Virgils questions.

Upon realizing that Patton did treat him like a kid, Janus awhs, did he know, was he gonna tell them.

"I'm afraid I can't answer that, Janus will tell you when he decides to, I'm sorry kiddos" Patton says, glancing at the boy behind him, looking at the older with awh.

Virgil looks at Logan who shakes his head, the two decide to drop it and face back to the tv.

"I think Logan and I are going to head to bed kiddos, you two don't stay up long now okay?" Patton asks

"Yes Pat" both Virgil and Roman answer.

Patton turns to Janus then to Logan, "Lo, can you clean up the glass while I go clean Jan up?" He asks

Logan nods, "sure Pat" he says, smiling softly.

"Hey Jan"

The boy looks at him, hugging his stuffy tight, getting jam all over it.

"Can I pick you up buddy"

He nods and even makes grabby hands to Patton.

Patton smiles and gently picks him up, he didn't know what he was expecting, but he was definitely NOT expecting Janus to be so light, was the boy eating right? It just added to the list of concernes he had for the other.

Patton brings the other upstairs and into the bathroom, "can you stay here for a bit kiddo?" Patton asks.

Janus looks up, he nods a little, Patton runs to his room and grabs an oversized tee and some shorts for the other, he then bites his lip, he didn't know if the other needed them, but he decided to bring them just in case.

Patton comes back to see the boy still sitting where he put him, Patton smiles, "look at you" Patton chuckles, making the younger giggle.

Patton then runs the bath and puts bubbles in for the younger, he knew that he himself liked bubbles so he assumed the other liked bubbles as well, and he was correct in his assumption, after asking the other for permission to give him a bath, the other had ended up having a giggle fit with the bubbles, he absolutely adored them, making himself a fake beard and other things, Patton even gave the baby a few toys to play with.

He was definitely overjoyed, he didn't even realize when Patton had cleaned him all up, except for his hair, when patton said to close his eyes.

Yes he was sad to get out, but he was also very tired.

"Hey Jan sweetie, I never asked before, because it was a bit chaotic, but how old are you hon?" Patton asked.

Janus held up 2 fingers but then looked at one, he held up 1, not quite sure, he was about 1 and a half now, and Patton smiles softly, he assumed the other might be on the younger spectrum, he smiles, "wow, such a big boy!" Patton smiles, makimg the little giggle happily, rubbing his eyes.

"Now Jan, I have another question for you buddy" Pat says

Janus whines quietly, he was getting tired, "I know, I know, but uh.. buddy, do you wet the bed at nights"

Janus flushes a little a whines, but he nods slightly.

Patton gently rubs his back, "its alright bud, its okay, you don't have to feel bad about it, its totally okay, I'm just going to need you to wear a diaper bud" Patton says gently, earning another whine of protest.

"I know, I know, but we don't wanna wet the bed do we?" He questions, with that thought in mind, the boy shakes his head no, making Patton smile in sympathy, "alright buddy, lets get you changed then" Pat says gently.

Pattom had to lay Janus's other pajamas to go to the washer, and thankfully Janus's snake was easy to clean without having to go into the wash, Patton would hate to hear the boy cry again, he's already been through so much In one day.

Patton changes the boy into the clothes and diaper he brought just in case and hands him his now clean snake and smiles, he picks up the boy, and holds him tight, but not too tight.

Logan was coming upstairs right as Patton came outta the bathroom with Jan in his clothing.

Logan smiles sympathetically and the child, noticing what he was wearing, though he pretended not too.

"How was bath time?" He asks both of them.

Janus snuggles against Patton titedly while Patton smiles softly, "he had quite a journey, although I think its time to put the little one to sleep" he says, smiling at the side.

Janus was already half asleep by the time Patton said those words.

Logan smiles softly, "seems so, we should go lay him down in his room" he suggests.

That seemed to wake the bab up just a little as he starts sniffling, "noooo!!" He whines quietly, hugging tightly to Patton.

Patton smirks, "you heard the boy, he said no so no's the answer" Patton chuckles.

Logan rolls his eyes and chuckles, "alright, your room then Pat?" Logan asks.

Patton nods, "my room" he says

They both walk to Pattons room, Patton lays Jaus in the middle while he gets on the right and Logan on the left, it was the first time Logan and Pat had company, but they found that they didn't mind one bit, especially when it was an adorable little snake just wanting some cuddles.

Janus obviously stayed more against Patton during the night, but during the days to follow, and the more he regressed, he found that he didn't mind Logan either, only time would tell when he would tell the other too, but for now, he only wanted his two caretakers, and one playmate.

The end

[rachelkaser]

Stay Golden Sunday: Adult Education

Blanche is sexually harassed by one of her college professors. The other Girls try to get tickets to a Frank Sinatra concert.

Picture It...

Dorothy is on the phone, trying to get tickets to an upcoming Frank Sinatra concert. She’s almost seen him in concert multiple times and doesn’t want to miss another chance. Blanche enters, upset because she’s failed her psychology midterm. If she fails the course, she won’t get the secondary degree she needs for a promotion. Meanwhile, Dorothy is furious that the concert has already sold out. She, Rose, and Sophia discuss alternate ways of getting tickets, with Sophia promising that she’s “got connections.”

Rose tries to help Blanche study, but it’s obvious Blanche isn’t concentrating. Dorothy comes home, saying she tried ticket brokers, but the only way she’s going to get tickets is to go to a scalper, which she plans to do over Rose’s objections. Blanche tries to head out of the house to go to a bar, but the other Girls tell her to keep studying. Blanche says she’s just not getting the material. Dorothy encourages her to talk to her teacher -- she did it when she was a kid with a speech impediment, and her teacher helped her.

ROSE: Whatever happened to your teacher, Mrs. Lenoff? DOROTHY: Oh gosh, last I heard she retired from teaching, opened a bed and breakfast someplace in Wode Island...…..Rhode Island.

After one of her classes, Blanche approaches Professor Cooper and tries to talk to him about the problems she’s been having. He tells her she’s the only student who failed the midterm and she’ll need an A to even pass the class. She asks if there’s anything she can do to make it up, and he starts to imply she’ll have to do some “hard work.” She says she’ll do whatever she has to, and he gives her his home phone number, and tells her to “use it” if she wants her A while caressing her hand. Blanche picks up on his meaning and is horrified.

Dorothy comes home to Rose and Sophia, and tells them she balked during her deal with the scalper, so now she’s not sure what else to do to get tickets. Sophia thinks she shouldn’t have chickened out. Rose tries to reason that maybe they just aren’t meant to go. Dorothy, on the other hand, is determined to finally see Sinatra in concert.

ROSE: Here we are, Sophia. The perfect after-dinner treat: A nice dish of Jell-O. SOPHIA: I hate Jell-O. If God wanted peaches suspended in midair, He would have filled them with helium.

Blanche comes home and tells the other Girls what happened. Rose and Dorothy are furious on her behalf (Sophia is indifferent), and encourage her to report him for sexual harassment. Blanche didn’t outright refuse him, because she’s not sure if she can pass the course, but they tell her she’ll feel terrible about herself if she gives in. They relate their own stories of sexual harassment: Dorothy was harassed by the principal at her first teaching job (while he was in a corset and high heels), and Rose was harassed by a soda jerk who arranged her sundaes in an obscene way.

Blanche visits the Dean of the school, and he’s swamped, having just started the job. He initially tries to brush her off, not wanting to deal with such a big problem as sexual harassment, but she shames him into taking a report. She describes to him what happened, and he’s aghast, but when she tells him there were no witnesses, he becomes cagey. He says he can’t do anything because it’s just Blanche’s word against Professor Cooper’s, and has the audacity to say, “A man’s career is at stake!” Blanche points out that hers is too, but Dean Tucker dismisses her from the office.

DOROTHY: *regarding Sophia’s tickets* Ma, how in the world did you get these? SOPHIA: Easy -- I called Frank. I told you I had connections. ROSE: You know Frank Sinatra?! SOPHIA: No, Frank Caravicci, from the fish market. He’s always been good to me, never a bad piece of cod. He knows Frank. BLANCHE: Sinatra? SOPHIA: No, Frank Tortoni, the dry cleaner. Tina’s third cousin once removed. DOROTHY: Tina Tortoni? SOPHIA: Tina Sinatra!

When Blanche returns home, Rose immediately starts in with her own story -- she was listening to a contest on the radio, and managed to win tickets to the Sinatra concert. Blanche starts to tell her story, but Dorothy interrupts to say she managed to buy tickets for the concert from a scalper (after convincing the person who was going to buy them that she had three weeks to live). Just when Blanche gets their attention again, Sophia walks in and reveals she got tickets too -- prime tickets in the third row, thanks to her aforementioned connections. Blanche finally snaps and says she’s going to handle this herself and goes to study her butt off.

During her final exam, Blanche stays right up to the end. Professor Cooper not-so-subtly hints that she might have to retake the course as she hands her exam in. She tells him that’s not going to happen and he initially thinks she’s taking him up on his offer. She instead lays him out, telling him she decided to get an A on the final in part to spite him for treating her that way -- and she did. I can’t really capture how good this moment is; see it for yourself:

Later that night, the other three Girls come home to worried Blanche at 2 am. Turns out Dorothy tried to scalp their seven extra tickets to an undercover police officer. So Dorothy once again missed her chance to see Sinatra. Blanche tells the other Girls she told off her Professor, but unfortunately the promotion for which she got the degree has already been taken by a woman who got a tummy tuck and a butt lift. But, as Blanche says the line that takes us into the analysis section:

“Some day her butt will turn to mush, but I’ll always have my degree!”

Sometimes a Golden Girls Very Special Episode hits you over the head with its Very Special-ness using dramatic music or tear-jerking lines. See, for example, the episode about the break-in. Sometimes a VSE sneaks up on you, cloaking itself in gags and jokes, only to reveal a shockingly relevant message at its core. In this case, the topic is sexual harassment, and the message is that women should push back against that kind of behavior in whatever way they can. It’s a little simplistic, but it gets the job done.

ROSE: At least you’re doing well in your other two courses. BLANCHE: But those are art course. They come easier to me. I’ve always had a great appreciation for arts and... artists. SOPHIA: And carpenters and mechanics, and delivery boys.

Out of all the episodes I’ve thus far reviewed of Golden Girls, it depresses me that this one’s core concept is still so pertinent in the times we’re living. In this, the age of #MeToo, it’s more important now than ever. Everything Blanche goes through here can (and does) happen today, in almost exactly the same way it happens here. It would almost be upsetting to watch, if Blanche weren’t such a badass about the situation -- and hell, even then it’s hard to stomach parts of the episode. Hell, just look at Blanche’s expression in the image at the top of this post, when Professor Cooper gropes her hand after making her his scuzzy offer.

I mean, look at what happens to Blanche in this episode: She’s demeaned by her professor, the person who’s supposed to be helping her, and told she’ll have to sleep with him if she wants to pass the course and get the degree she wants. He even prefaces his offer with, “If you really want that degree,” which just reeks of the same kind of manipulative bullshit I and many others have heard from harassers. Then, when she tries to report him through official channels, she’s dismissed by another man who has the absolute temerity to say he can’t take her word for it because, “A man’s career is at stake!” In what’s perhaps the most progressive moment of the episode, Blanche stands up and retorts, “Well so is mine! Not to mention my dignity!”

ROSE: Look, if the tickets are that hard to get, maybe we just weren’t meant to go. DOROTHY: Maybe you weren’t, Rose. But two weeks from now, I intend to be sitting in front of Old Blue Eyes himself. Live, in-person, middle-aged spread and all. ROSE: Dorothy, you can take off a few pounds by then if you put your mind to it.

In a way, I’m glad the writers had Blanche consider the offer, however briefly. That’s the devil of it when it comes to harassment like this: One party is in power over the other, and manipulating the vulnerability that the lack of power gives them, and because of that the victim might think it’s easier or less confrontational to just go along with it. Blanche, in this case, is on the verge of failing and losing her degree and a chance at a promotion -- she even tells him this, which is unfortunate given his malicious intent -- and so he has the power to both really help and (this is the important part) really hurt her depending on how she responds. And it’s crucial that this vulnerability and the effects of this kind of manipulation be recognized, because -- and I think this needs to be stressed -- even if Blanche had agreed, she would still be a victim.

I am ridiculously proud of Blanche for choosing to get back at her professor by taking the test and keeping her nose clean. I’m pretty sure that, if he tried to ding her score so she didn’t get an A, she could file an appeal and get the test reviewed, and her professor could be then be censured if he graded her unfairly. At least, I’m assuming that’s how it works within the show’s logic, and that’s why she can tell him off without it affecting her grade. We don’t get much resolution, or see the professor get his comeuppance, but sadly that, too, is realistic. I choose to hope for the best outcome.

ROSE: My life will be ruined if this ever gets home to St. Olaf. DOROTHY: What’ll they do, Rose? Revoke your ice fishing license? Take back your helmet with the horns?

That’s not to say this episode is completely above-board with the way it handles the topic, at least not by today’s standards. Some of the ways they try to inject humor into the situation don’t feel especially natural and are even insensitive. Dorothy’s principal wearing a corset and high heels while harassing her is alright, as jokes go. Rose’s story about Nils, the soda jerk who harassed her via ice cream scoops (side note: not “attempted to” harass her, did harass her; important distinction) is very funny, but Blanche bringing it up later just to mess with her felt more than a little mean.

Also, I’m not crazy about the fact that Blanche’s storyline culminates in her losing her promotion to the unseen Sally Folgeson. I don’t want to sound like I’m reaching, but I think the implication is that the museum director promoted Sally because the tummy tuck and butt lift made her more attractive -- meaning, Sally is using her body to get ahead, the same thing the Girls encouraged Blanche not to do. I’m glad Blanche is cool with it, but it kind of punctures the message a bit, doesn’t it? Also, shame on that museum director, because YUCK. If that’s what it takes to get ahead at that museum, then I don’t think Blanche would have wanted the promotion in the first place.

Probably the most troubling part of the episode to me is that Rose and Dorothy are more helpful and attentive to Blanche when she’s neglecting her studies than they are after she’s been sexually harassed by her professor. I know that’s part of the comedy, but I’m honestly a little offended that they’re so wrapped up in a Frank Sinatra concert that they can’t even be bothered to make sure Blanche is okay after her test. And this is coming from someone who would absolutely hock an organ to go back in time and hear Sinatra live.

Speaking of the B-plot, this episode is very well-balanced, with Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia getting roughly equal screen-time while Blanche handles the A-plot. I love that they’re getting better at this, because it makes for a better episode overall when one character (usually Sophia) isn’t getting reduced down to a handful of lines. They even give Sophia an extra bit where she’s cleaning out her purse and makes a few cracks at Rose on, including the immortal line:

ROSE: Did all that stuff come out of your purse? SOPHIA: No, I was also cleaning out my ears. That’s where the Feenamint and the rain bonnet came from.

This culminates in the great scene where Blanche is trying to get a word in edgewise, only for all of her roommates to come in with their own triumphant stories about acquiring the precious tickets back-to-back. As annoyed as I am with them for not listening to Blanche, it’s an hilarious scene that brings the two plotlines together and lets everyone’s comedic talents shine through, culminating in Sophia explaining how many degrees she’s separated from the family of Frank Sinatra.

I do have a few nitpicks. First, there’s a continuity error in the first scene when Dorothy describes how she almost saw Sinatra when Stan bought her tickets: She says that in the divorce settlement, she got “the house and the kids” while Stan got the tickets. Given that Dorothy’s only been divorced from Stan for two years, her children would have been in their thirties at the time of their divorce, so Dorothy wouldn’t be getting custody of them. It’s never made clear when Dorothy moved to Florida, but I presume she had to sell the house she got in the divorce at some point in order to move in with the other Girls.

ROSE: Oh, you can’t buy from a scalper. That’s a crime! DOROTHY: Well, so is eating grapes at the supermarket, but you do that all the time. ROSE: I have to test them. DOROTHY: Rose, one is testing. Fourteen is brunch.

A little historical housekeeping, as well: Vikings didn’t actually have horned helmets and, to my knowledge, they’re not called “Longenhödden.” Though, fun fact: I went back and scoured transcripts for the show up to this point, and this is the first time we hear that Rose’s hometown is called St. Olaf. So mark this episode as the official debut of the Cradle of Idiocy itself: St. Olaf, Minnesota!

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰🍰 (four slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode:

Blanche’s exasperation with Rose’s story is the best:

ROSE: I was driving down Biscayne Boulevard-- BLANCHE: No. No! NO! NO! Please, I cannot bear that again. *to Dorothy* She was listening to her car radio -- Big Band, not All Talk. There was a contest. Something about a little voice, a lucky number, and a dime in a door handle, then bim bam boom, she won the tickets! DOROTHY:...take a lesson, Rose. That’s how you tell a story.

[soundofseventeen]

Laughter is the Best Medicine (Boo Seungkwan)

Hello! I’m almost through these! There’s only a couple left for me to write! Ah! (i also was going to post this a couple hours ago but then i remembered i had a class today that was starting so)

Requested by @ruthio21​

6: “You make every day worth living.”

83: “When I’m with you, I’m happy.”

You laughed so hard you could barely breathe anymore. You fell back on your bed, covering your face as you laughed, Seungkwan falling to his side. 

You had a terrible day, starting with your alarm not going off this morning (which may have been due to you falling asleep at your desk last night and forgetting to even turn it on but you weren’t about to admit that) which made you miss breakfast as you ran to your first class. You managed to make it just in time, only to realize you left your laptop plugged in at your desk, so you had to steal some paper from your friend. Except that you forgot you were much faster at typing than you were at handwriting, so your notes were unreadable. Your friend said they would send you their notes, but you knew that just created extra work for you to do later. You then went to take an exam (which may have been the reason you fell asleep at your desk) which by the time you got out, you were almost 100% sure you got a horrible grade. 

All you wanted to do was go back to your apartment and be upset, which since that was your last class you were able to. Your roommate was going to be on campus late, so you just put on a drama and changed into comfy clothing, curling up with your favorite snack. 

Except that didn’t make you feel better. 

So you ordered some take out, figuring maybe if you got some good food into your tummy then it would make you feel better and then you could maybe try to do something productive. 

Except that didn’t make you feel better either. 

You were stumped. You were trying to think of something else to do when Seungkwan called, asking if he could borrow an extra phone cord (long story short, Vernon accidentally tripped over his hard enough that he managed to snap a wire). You told him you would look around to see what you had, which caused him to notice your tone. You quickly explained your day to him, and that prompted him to come over. You told him he didn’t have to, but then he said it could be under the excuse of getting the phone cord since his phone was going to die. 

The first thing he did when he got there was put something else on your TV, much to your dismay (the last episode ended on such a cliffhanger). But he insisted you needed something funny to start to cheer up. He then held up a bag of things to do that would help improve your mood. He brought different snacks and face masks and magazines to look through. 

Somehow, this actually worked. Seungkwan told you all the jokes he could think of, making you laugh a bit. He then resorted to asking his friends for jokes, which lead to some funny jokes. 

Eventually your friend called, which Seungkwan told you to answer, so you did. You had mentioned that Seungkwan was there with you when he turned to you. 

“Oh, so now you’re going to talk about me, huh?” You looked at him, rolling your eyes. 

“They haven’t said anything you haven’t already heard before.” You said, turning back to the call. 

“Ah.” Seungkwan sighed, looking at his own phone. “Seungkwan sexy, I know.” He shook his head, looking at you as you stared at him. As he winked at you, you burst out laughing, telling your friend you had to go. 

“Okay, it’s not that funny.” He said, chuckling as you laughed. 

“It’s not.” You laughed, falling back. “It’s just I wasn’t prepared for it.” You couldn’t stop laughing, Seungkwan eventually joining your laughter. You both fell back on your bed, laughter consuming you both. 

After several minutes, you both managed to catch your breath, just small chuckles escaping you as you both laid there. You turned your head to look at Seungkwan, a smile on your face. 

“Thank you.” You said, Seungkwan turning to look at you. 

“It’s not a problem. My friend was sad, so I had to come help, right?” He said, smiling at you. 

“Well, yeah for that.” You said, looking at your ceiling. “But also for just… Being my friend, you know?” You knew Seungkwan was still looking at you, so you kept your eyes on a spot on your ceiling. “I mean, when I’m with you, I’m happy.”

“Really?” He asked, you nodding your head. “I’m… That makes me happy to hear.” 

“Well good, you should hear it.” You smiled, looking back at him. “Just don’t focus only on other people's lives, okay?” 

“What do you mean?” He asked, giving you a confused look. 

“Like, you better be taking care of yourself as well as you take care of other people. You gotta live your life too, you know?” 

“I do.” He said, looking at your ceiling now. 

“Well good. I’m glad to hear that.” You said, looking at the ceiling as well. “It’s important that you have something worth living for. Something to make you smile each day.” You sighed, hearing Seungkwan sigh as well. 

“You make everyday worth living.” Seungkwan muttered, you looking towards him again. 

“Hm? What did you say?” You asked, Seungkwan looking at you and shaking his head, sitting up. 

“Uh, nothing.” He smiled at you, looking at his hands. “Just that I hope I find that someday.” 

“You will.” You smiled, sitting up and shoving him a little bit, Seungkwan smiling as he bounced back. 

“So uh, do you want to watch another movie or something?” He offered, you nodding. 

“One more should be okay. But then you have to go home and get some rest. You’ve done more than enough for me today.” You said, starting to scroll through movies. 

“I hardly did anything.” Seungkwan said, leaning back on your wall. 

“Oh shush, you did so much.” You said, landing on a movie and glancing back at him, Seungkwan nodding as you hit play. You pushed yourself back, sitting right next to him. 

Your eyes were focused on the movie playing, but Seungkwan kept glancing at you. He knew you were just concerned about him, but how could you not see that you were one of the few people he would do this for?

[hees-theman]

Mistake at the First Sight (Chapter IV)

CHAPTER FOUR

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Female!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Enemies to Lover

Summary: You’re a transfer student from London and Park Seonghwa thought that you don’t know Korean language. Little did he know, you are actually a Korean who moved back to the place you were born.

A/N: I’m sorry I didn’t update for a month now since I was busy with my degree stuffs. Anyway, here’s an update and this is most probably the second last episode.

<< Chapter three

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Thanks to Seonghwa’s long legs, catching up with you is not a problem for him. As soon as he is near you, he wraps his hand around your wrist, stopping you from moving any further.

You stopped walking and turned your head to look at him with a fire ignited in your eyes. “What do you want, Park Seonghwa?”

Seonghwa is taken aback when he looks at your expression. You look so furious. Did he do anything wrong? What mistake did he commit? He is confused with the way you are looking at him right now.

“Why do you look so mad? Did something happen? Did I do something wrong?”

You let out a scoff. You couldn’t believe that the guy in front of you has the guts to ask you that question. Did he just pretend as if nothing happened? Or is he naturally dumb?

“It must be easy for you to get any ladies you want, right?”

Your words make Seonghwa frown as he tries to understand where did that random statement come from. Seonghwa stays silent at your sudden outburst. You take your hand away from his grip before opening your mouth again.

“How many girls have you give tissue with your number written on it?”

Seonghwa’s frown deepens at your question. Tissue? What?

That is when Seonghwa remembered the incident in the café. He shakes his head before letting out a soft chuckle, changing your mood from mad to confuse.

“That wasn’t me. She wrote her number on it but I refuse to take it.”

Your facial expression softens a bit at his justification of what happened back there. However, you do not want to make it obvious, so you lift your chin slightly and cross your arms, looking at him with a challenging look.

“Why? Because she is too easy for you? Is that why you didn’t take her offer?”

Your statement irked Seonghwa. His face went from soft to mad as soon as you finish your sentence.

“Do you think I’m like that?”

You shrug slightly. A smirk forming on your face as you look at him with the same expression as before.

“Why? Are you not like that? You sure look like a guy who would get into woman’s pants if they throw themselves at you – or maybe you prefer… women?”

Seonghwa had enough of your attitude. He took a few steps forward until he is standing right in front of you. Only then you realized how tall he is compared to you. With that expression of his, he makes you feel more intimidated than normal.

“I’m not like that.”

You look up to him, trying to not lose your ground.

“Why? You can get any girls you want. Why don’t you just go to them and-”

Your words were cut off by the sudden intrusion from Seonghwa.

“Because I like you, Kim Jooyeon!”

His sudden confession leaves you stunned. Suddenly, it seems like everything stops moving. You blink your eyes a few times before searching Seonghwa’s face, trying to detect any lies. However, the only thing that you found on his face is sincerity – especially his eyes.

His expression might look scary but his gaze towards you is passionate. It feels as if you can sense the longing behind it. Seonghwa, who just acknowledge his action, straightens his back and turn his face to the other side. He gulps down his saliva as blush slowly creeping onto his face.

Your eyes fall to his chest, witnessing how it rise and fall rapidly.

“When did you feel like this?”

Seonghwa’s tongue swipes along his lips, trying to wet it and hide his nervousness. He turns to look at you but your eyes are still lingering on his chest.

“After you confronted me for the first time,” he said. You bite your inner cheek as you tighten your hold on the strap of your bag.

“I’m going home first. Thank you for today.”

And just like that, you walk away from him, leaving him alone – for the second time.

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It had been a week since you mutter a single word to Seonghwa, and so did he. In the class, he no longer sits behind you. Whenever both of you ran to each other, no one speaks a word and just walks away as if the two of you are strangers – and it is too obvious for the boys and Jiyeon not to notice.

There were countless times where Jiyeon asked you to have lunch together with the boys, go out to watch movies with the boys, go hang out with the boys. You refused every single offer because you know if ‘the boys’ are there, that means Park Seonghwa will be there too, and you were not ready to face him yet.

You need some time and Seonghwa acknowledged that. There were times where he would wait for you in case if you would join him along with the boys and Jiyeon hanging out or he would reserve a place for you to sit during lunch hour, but no. You did not join them.

Seonghwa would be lying if he said that he was not upset with your actions, but he knew you need to process everything because it came to you without giving any signal.

San, being one of the closest to Seonghwa, had never seen him being this sad before. He used to smile a lot. Whenever the boys would tease him, he would try to fight back even though he knew he will lose, making him look so happy. Nowadays, he seems to be spacing out a lot. Most of the time, San needs to shake his shoulder harshly just to make him come back to reality.

San had enough of this.

“Jooyeon!”

You turn your head to the voice that called your name just to see San leaning against the wall. Both his hands are in his pocket and a smile plastered on his face.

You return the smile and walk towards him. “Jiyeon went to the toilet so if you want to meet her-“

“Actually, I’m waiting for you.”

San’s words succeed to make you stop talking. You look at him with confusion displayed on your face before pointing your finger at yourself.

“Me? You are waiting for me,” you questioned, trying to confirm if you just heard him right. San chuckles at your actions. He nods his head, indicating that you heard it right.

“What is it that you want to talk to me?”

San puffs out his cheeks before straighten up and points his finger to the front, asking you to walk with him. You were still confused but you just follow his steps as he started walking.

None of you say anything for a couple of minutes. You just walk and walk without knowing the destination San is heading for. However, it does not make you feel uncomfortable or awkward. Probably because both of you are already close with each other that you no longer need to have a conversation to justify your friendship.

Few more seconds has passed when San decided to speak first.

“Seonghwa confessed to you, right?”

That question makes you halt your steps. Your hand that was previously clinging onto the strap of your bag, are now at your side. Your face fell and your eyes look at San’s back.

“Did he tell you that?”

San turns around to face you before shaking his head, flashing you a soft smile. “I’ve known him for too long so I could figure it out.”

You turn your head to the side as you let out a breath that you did not even know you were holding.

“And by the way both of you are ignoring each other right now, that means it’s either you reject him, or you left him without any answer.”

You bite your lower lips at the last sentence. Having a friend like San is great because he cares about your well-being. Even so, the downside is that you cannot really hide and lie to him easily since he can sense it well.

You let out a sigh before stating the truth to San. “I… left him.”

The smile on his face widens slightly. He knows he is right and he is proud of it. He took a few steps towards you to ruffle your hair, making you glare at him in annoyance.

“Until when will you deny your feelings for him?”

For the third time today, he made you stunned. You know that it is easy for him to detect Seonghwa’s feelings as they have been together for God knows how long. But, when he asked that question to you, without you saying anything to him – now that is on another level.

Judging from your expression, he knew that you are surprised by his nth attack of the day. His hand that was on your hair moved to your shoulder and pat it a few times.

“Even though you didn’t admit it, I know that you have feelings for him. A feeling that is more than a friend. Although you may not notice it, I’ve seen your face whenever girls try to get closer to Seonghwa and talk to him in more than friendly ways. You would either clench your jaw or rolled your eyes so hard it almost popped out of its socket.”

If San is not talking facts right now, you swear you would have punched his face and kicked his knee for talking nonsense. You wished he was exaggerating his points but no, he did not because that was exactly your reactions during those situations.

“It’s already been a week, Jooyeon. Don’t you think you have hurt him and yourself enough by now?”

You filled your cheeks with air before letting out a sigh. Your fingers are now playing with each other as you look down on the floor, a small pout formed on your face.

“I don’t know how to tell him. It all went too fast. Besides, I’m not sure how deep my feeling is for him.”

It’s true, you know that you like Seonghwa more than a friend. But, you are not sure if you are ready to face it since you know you are scared of commitment.

Despite that, You could not deny the warm and fuzzy feeling inside your tummy every time you picture Seonghwa as your boyfriend and how nice it will be if both of you get to spend time together every day. You never know that you can imagine scenes like that before in your entire life.

“Come and join us at Rouge Club tomorrow night, then.”

You spin your head around at the familiar voice, just to see Jiyeon holding her phone in front of her face, a smirk plastered on her face. You look at the couple back and forth before finally realizing that they have both sets you up in this.

“Yah, Choi San. Kim Jiyeon. Is this how you treat your friend? Recording illegally while your friend is pouring out her worry?”

Jiyeon put down her phone and smile widely at you. She walks towards her boyfriend and San’s arms automatically wrapped around her waist as he buries his face in her hair, copying his girlfriend’s smile.

“I’m sorry, Jooyeon. But, we can’t stand seeing both of you suffering like this. So, blackmailing you is the only way that works.”

You know that there is no way out with this. Looking at the couple, you tilt your head to the side slightly and cross your arms against your chest.

“What do I need to do?”

Jiyeon and San exchanges glance with each other for few moments before turning their head back to you. Your friend then faces the screen of her phone towards you and press the ‘delete’ button on the video that she recorded before.

“Honestly, we don’t want to force you to come. But, we think its best if both of you can come to closure to this. We don’t want to see our precious friends looking gloomy all day every day. We want to see the real smile on both yours and Seonghwa’s face again.”

You lick your lower lips as you thought about your friends’ words. You can hear how concern they are about you and Seonghwa. No friends want to see their friends being sad. Yet, you still feel like you are not ready to face the tall guy.

You were about to reject their offer for the nth time when San step forward and cut you off.

“Please, Jooyeon. Do it for my sake. Tomorrow night… it’s my birthday party.”

Your face softens and your heart melts at his words. Now that you remember correctly, it is going to be San’s birthday the day after tomorrow. It does make sense why he wants to celebrate it tomorrow night.

With a defeat, you mutter softly but surely, “I will come”.

                                                                                                     Last chapter >>

[twoohugs]

BBC Merlin 2x09 The Lady of the Lake

I’ve stopped doing these commentary/meta posts for a while now but I just found out I still have one last post sitting in the drafts and completely forgot about it?? Anyway so here you go~

At this point Merlin has been in Camelot for like, a year, right? I thought he would’ve seen execution of younger people already? Like, Uther kills children right? Or has he already kill off all magical children :0

So but then Gaius sleeps right in the middle of his workshop? That means if it’s a house then Gaius sleeps in the living room and gave Merlin the bedroom? Like how the hell did he convince Merlin to let this happen ‘cause Merlin definitely wouldn’t be willing to sleep on the bed once he realizes Gaius sleeps on a cot outside.

This really proves how absentminded Merlin is this morning (not just careless!) because he really has to be completely not thinking straight to not notice how the water is literally boiling.

I was thinking why neither of them thought to test the obviously steaming water, and I realized at that time period they had to like, heave hot water everywhere in buckets and it’ll inevitably cool down in the process, so the water could only be hot to a certain extent, that’s why it could only be not hot enough, but never too hot. But in modern days, well, heaters aren’t always that reliable so we always test the water with tip of our toes before going in a bath.

fighting fit, indeed.

*cough* moving on~

Sometimes it’s really hard to believe Arthur never found out Merlin’s magic. Although Arthur bent down to look for the drumstick he’s still on the chair and would’ve noticed if Merlin came closer to the table. Hell, he could’ve seen Merlin’s feet under that table.

It’s obvious Arthur believes Merlin stole his food (he later confirms it, even), and there’s literally no way Merlin could’ve managed it without, say, having the food fly straight to him. Like, how can Arthur not be suspicious? Or does he go “oh when Merlin’s concerned weird shit always happens” and just leaves it there

Both Merlin and us deserve to see more of protective Arthur, really .

Arthur just went from indignant to alarmed to hurt in a matter of seconds once Merlin left

It’s cute like, do you see that little pout when he worriedly looks down at his tummy

So I thought Freya eats like she’s been starving for days. And she says she’s been in that cage for a few days. That makes sense.

But then I realized, she couldn’t possibly have. Halig doesn’t know Freya is the bastet, he only said “my informer told me she was cursed”. That means he had never seen her transform, which means he has had her for less than a day. And it’s impossible that the cage is completely magic resistant, because Merlin was able to unlock it and use magic to break Freya’s cuffs in it. So… how?

Remember when Sophia happened and everyone was like, “Arthur you’ve only known her for a week, you can’t possibly in love, you can’t run away and elope”? Merlin has known Freya for 3 days.

Yes, Merlin and Freya are cute together. Their love is pure. This episode is a beautiful sad love story. But that doesn’t take away the fact that Merlin is ready to give up Arthur, Gaius, and his destiny, to run away with a girl he’s known for 3 days without even saying goodbye. How does that even make sense?

I’d even say it’s OOC ‘cause Merlin would leave his mother, abandon his own happiness and safety, just to stay in Camelot to fulfill his duty and stay with Arthur. Multiple times he has to choose between making life easier for himself and protecting Arthur and he always chooses the later. But here he’s ready to give it all up. He actually packed up and left without saying goodbye to either Gaius or Arthur. If Freya hadn’t ran away he would actually have done it. It’s horrifying.

His face!!! His… face… *wheeze*

Can we just talk about how Arthur just finds out his servant/best friend likes cross-dressing and he’s completely cool with it without even an ounce of freaking out, and then he keeps reassuring him and being supportive, and then he goes on to complement him?

A++ supportive friend there. Even though he got it completely wrong he’s reaction is great.

Now this is just cruel. I mean, if it turns out the bastet is savage and impossible to tame then at least maybe we can say “there was no way to save her!”, “at least now Freya has peace!” or something.

But no, they have to show you that the bastet is tamable. That means, if somebody, whether it’s the druids or whatever, bothered to show a bit more love and sympathy towards Freya, this whole thing could be avoided. She’d still transform every night, but into a harmless giant kitty. And this makes Freya’s tragic end even sadder, because she could have been saved.

Doesn’t this just completely breaks your heart when you see him struggling to light the boat on fire and he has to put his hand down and take a deep breath and I just-

You can see how he hesitates before saying anything like, this whole comforting business is so new to him? But he has to try because he can’t let Merlin stay upset? This is just so sweet?

And Arthur is actually quite good at cheering Merlin up? Like, at first he knows Merlin is sad for some reason and it may be because of him and it is a delicate situation and he cannot straight up start teasing or roughhousing so he has to use words. And look at him he’s trying so hard to be careful with what he says. And he only starts the more familiar teasing when Merlin starts to thaw and smile. Well done, Arthur.

This is probably one of the most straightforward Arthur has ever been with his affection for Merlin. “It’s better now you’re happier” he’s so happy Merlin’s not sad anymore my heart-

And I think it means a lot to Merlin, you know, hearing directly Arthur that Arthur cares.

[Click here for a full list of my BBC Merlin commentary]

[youremeimyou]

Promise Me(pt.1)

Part 1 - Part 2

pairing: Park Jimin x reader (ft. Kim Taehyung) genre: Fluff, angst and just drama.. word count: 5k warnings: alcohol consumption

Description: Y/N is Jimin’s longest and best friend. Certain feelings are caught and meanwhile, Jimin accidentally sets Y/N up with his other best friend. But not before getting her to make him a promise.

A/N: Lately, The image of Jimin being all tipsy in his ‘Saint Laurent’ t-shirt in that bring the soul episode has been either leaving me sleepless or appearing in my dreams. Gosh, whatta man.. So that infired me to write this story:) I hope you enjoy! I’d be really glad to have your feedback. Here, bless your eyes with the image I’m talking about:

The boy’s dorm building was only across the road from the girl’s. And that wasn’t exactly a long walk for Y/N on a normal day. But this freezing winter night couldn’t be considered that normal. Plus, Y/N had to fight against the strong wind that nearly knocked her out of her feet more than once. All of the snow piled up on the ground wasn’t helping either. Again, on a normal day she would’ve loved walking on snow. But at that moment, she just wished to somehow activate her inner mutant so that she could teleport there or something.

If only she wasn’t too lazy to tidy up her room a little bit, it could be Jimin who was trying to make his way to her place right now. Maybe a bit of a selfish thought. But on the bright side, he would have the wind on his back, maybe even help him move faster as it blew from behind him.

It was then that Y/N felt a presence, swiftly moving towards her. Or rather, running up at her. She couldn’t see much through the huge scarf covering most of her face. So, assuming the presence would be a stranger, she engaged attack mode. As she was flopping her arms and legs without even managing to land them anywhere on the guy, the guy easily held her arms in place, not applying much force.

“Relax Y/N, it’s me.”

Ah.. the sweet, soothing voice of Park Jimin.. A little shakey probably from all the cold, a bit small and hard to hear through the blizzard. Nonetheless, it still made Y/N’s worries go away.

“Oh, sorry Chim. I couldn’t see it was you. Did I get you?”

Jimin laughed a high pitched laugh.

“Well, you hit me pretty hard but I guess I’ll live.” he teased her. Meanwhile, Y/N adjusted her scarf to be able to see him properly. His cheeks were all red and his lips almost went purple. Thankfully he had a big beanie with ear flaps to protect his sensetive little ears, Y/N thought. Although an ill and whiney Jimin was cute, exams week was closing up on them. Y/N made plans in her mind to prepare some of her mom’s magical power up soup for both of them, just in case.

“C’mon let’s go inside.”

With Jimin’s arms wrapped up around her, the wind didn’t stand a chance. They quickly went through the door and ran up the stairs to his room. As soon as they were inside, the warmness of the room welcomed them. Y/N loved and despised this room at the same time. Because it smelled way nicer, was way bigger and way warmer in the winter than her own. Well.. Jimin always was the lucky one of the duo. And Y/N had been taking advantage of that for over a decade.

“So, what were you doing outside in this blizzard?”

“I saw last minute that I had lots of booze and very few snacks. And I know better than to not give a certain snack monster what she craves. So I went out to quickly take care of that.” He sent a wink her way. Little action, but a power move.

Y/N saw him taking off his backpack and appreciated the apparent fullness of it. She couldn’t hold herself back from reaching it to grab a starter. Somewhere along the movements their hands came into contact with one another.

“Woah Y/N, you’re freezing! Come here.”

Jimin led the both of them to the couch where a blanket was already present. They wrapped it around themselves and Jimin took Y/N’s hands in his, rubbing them gently. Blowing his warm breath on them every now and then. Looking at her with the softest eyes. It was moments like this that reminded Y/N how she was a doomed, doomed girl. Jimin was maybe the biggest tease she knew. Used on others, it was flirtation. On her, it was the affection he had for his longest, most valued friend. Y/N knew the difference between the two situations. But that just didn’t help the way she felt.

“Booze’ll help us get warmer faster. Let’s get this party started already.” Y/N made an escape towards his mini fridge to get the drinks. “Did you pick a movie yet?”

“No.. I thought we could just chat tonight. We don’t really get the chance to have our customary deep conversations that much anymore. You know, just the two of us.”

“Oh? I thought it made you upset when the gang leaves you alone like this.”

It was true that Jimin didn’t like being alone the least bit. After their meet-ups with their friends when everybody would leave at some point, Jimin would whine and beg Y/N to stay more. “C’mon, a bit more.. let’s lay down.” he’d say. “Wait till I fall sleep?” And of course she would. Everytime.

“But I’m not alone, you’re here. Besides, Christmas Eve kinda became our thing by now, didn’t it?”

For the last two Christmases, both of their families were always either working or on vacation somewhere. There were no gatherings to celebrate the event. So, they didn’t go home for the holidays and spent it in the dorms. And since all of their close friends went back home, Y/N and Jimin were left on their own. They decided to have their own little celebrations where only themselves were invited. This year was also the same. It was starting to become tradition at this point.

That was actually how it all started for Y/N. The first Christmas Eve they spent alone, something happened. A wire in Y/N’s mind changed. And she was trying to deal with that ever since. Hoping tonight wouldn’t make everything worse.

Y/N was setting up the coffee table with the drinks and snacks. Jimin had already started with some champagne. He downed the first glass in one go. Then poured another one for himself. After that he opened up a bottle of soju for Y/N, as he knew she liked starting off with that. They could both hold their liquor but Jimin was drinking even faster than usual. And after a while that made him get very tipsy very soon. He was going all out tonight.

“Hey, I meant to tell you. I signed us up for the Spring Musical Project. Since we’ll be self producing most of the parts, I thought you’d want to know early on. Maybe you wanna get started on the scores.”

“Wow there, Chimmy! I thought we had to audition for that. And also why am I the one working on the scores may I ask?”

Jimin giggled when he noticed her glaring at him with squinted eyes.

“Hmph.. Not after I convinced Mrs. Bora we don’t. And I’ll try to help you out in anyway I can but music making’s your specialty, sweety. We’ve been partnering in crime for like 15 years. I thought you knew by now that I’m the charm and you’re the brains.”  

Jimin reached forward to tweak her cheek. Because of Y/N’s sensetive skin, the spot immediately turned red.

“Did that hurt?”

“Nope, not a bit.”

Jimin smirked.

“Good. Let’s even out the colors, then.”

He slided down from the couch to the floor, next to where Y/N was sitting. He was now pinching both her cheeks, making cute incoherent sounds. Annoying the hell out of Y/N.

“Cut it out Chim, or else.”

“Or else what?” he teased her.

She countered the attack by tickling him. His tummy and waist were his week spots and she knew that. It turned into a playful scuff and after some time Y/N won by pinning Jimin lightly on the ground. With the help of her body on top of his, of course.

“Okay, okay hahah.. you win ah- just stop tickl-“ he hiccuped suddenly from all the laughing. “..tickling me.” That was when she spared him from the torture. And that hiccup had to be the cutest thing she ever heard. Plus, his eyes had dissappeared from laughing too hard and he looked so… Then she realized how she was on top of him, completely pressed against his body and it was all too much. She tried to get up but her balance was off because of the alcohol in her system. As she stumbled between falling and standing, Jimin managed to get a hold of her from where he was sitting.

“You’re about to face-plant on the floor, Y/N. C’mere.”

He pulled her back on the ground and sat her between his legs. Y/N was tipsy but Jimin was drunk. He put his chin on her shoulder as he backhugged her. His speech was sluggish by this point.

“No one else has this, do they?” His hands went to her arms, then down to her hands to link them with his own.

“This.. what we have, I mean.”

“Jimin, what-“

“Even couples don’t have.. this. I’ve never been this carefree with any of my girlfriends. I could never have this much of a good time without thinking about anything else. We become very aware of our actions and like.. what they could mean or something, in a romance based relationship. But I don’t even think with you. I just know you get me. I dunno- does that make sense?”

Y/N could feel the air around them getting thicker.

“Yeah, but why-“

He turned her head slightly so that he could look her in the eyes.

“Y/N. This is serious, okay?” When he didn’t continue, Y/N slowly nodded so that he would.

“Promise me you’ll never have this with anyone else.”

“Jimin, why-“

“Do you promise?”

It was suffocatingly silent. Y/N knew what her answer was instantly. But she had no clues as to why Jimin would ask that. Or why he was being like this tonight…

“Okay, I do.”

Jimin’s stiffened look slowly softened after that. He wasn’t staring at her dead in the eyes anymore, either. Instead he had averted his gaze to the wall across the room.

“Taehyung likes you.”

Y/N jumped up with shock. A few seconds later, she sat back in front of him. This time facing him with a look that screamed confused as fuck.

“Jimin, what are you talking about?”

“He’s liked you for a long time now. He’d murder me if he knew I told you. But I had to. He might be my best friend but you’re my- well, bestest friend. Just don’t say anything to him about it.”

Taehyung was Jimin’s other best friend. He came into Jimin and Y/N’s lives in highschool. And after the two boys moved in as roomates in freshman year of college, they had become like brothers. Their characters were weirdly compatible. Jimin liked to be teasing and flirty but he was actually just cute as hell. Taehyung was shy and giggly but unknowingly he was sexy as hell. And Y/N did have an undeniable crush on him during the end of highschool and the beginning of college. But ever since things changed for her on the Christmas Eve of freshman year, she had forgotten about that.

Christmas Eve, two years ago was a night just like this one with Jimin and Y/N drinking and alone. Except, the faint sound of Empire Strikes Back could be heard from the TV. They weren’t exactly paying attention to it, both had seen it billions of times.

Jimin was nearly falling asleep with his head on Y/N’s lap. And Y/N had her attention on his hair. Running her hand through it in hopes to help him relax. Because Jimin had broken up with his girlfriend, earlier that evening. When Y/N asked if he’d wanna talk about it, their conversation went a little something like this:

“What’s there to talk about?”

“I mean, you guys didn’t really look like you were having issues. And you never told me that something was wrong. I just don’t get why you’d call it quits.”

“I didn’t wanna reflect this on you. But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.” He sighed and continued. “The fact that I have this close of a relationship with you had been bothering her for a while now. You know, because you’re a girl. And I’m tired of trying to explain it. Maybe no one but us can understand this.”

“So, you dumped her?!”

“No! I wouldn’t do that, you know me. I wanted to work it out but she.. asked me to choose her over you. And when I couldn’t, she just ended it.”

She wasn’t actually the first girl to ask that of Jimin. But it was the first time he talked to Y/N about it.

“Jimin.. I’m so sorry about that. Look, I’ll be more careful in the future. I’ll talk to her if you want-”

“No, Y/N. It’s okay. I already let her go.”

“But I thought you said you loved her.”

Jimin closed his eyes and turned away from Y/N before he said what he said next.

“I don’t love her as much as I love you.”

And that sentence made Y/N lose her shit. She was freaking out, trying not to take it the wrong way. And she knew that Jimin probably meant it in the most innocent way but her stupid heart wasn’t getting it. It didn’t make her think Jimin was in love with her. It just made her realize that maybe she wanted him to be. And so, her life had been very complicated after that night. Everything was the same except she now had feelings for her best friend. Perfect…

Tonight though, she just learned a brand new information and had no idea what to do with it. Also, she couldn’t make sense of the way Jimin delivered that information either.

“Jimin. If that’s true, then why are you telling me? And why now?”

“I guess the answer to both is because I’m drunk enough right now.”

Jimin got up, walked to his bed and plumped down on it.

“I wanted to say that- ugh I don’t wanna sound awkward.”

He just cared about her more than anyone. Because Y/N didn’t really find dating around easy or preferrable, there haven’t been any serious situations where he’d have to worry about her being hurt. But this time was different because he knew she had liked Taehyung in the past. The idea of things changing was stressful for Jimin. At least he got her to promise that they wouldn’t change.

“I guess I’ll be okay with it if you guys ever progress into anything.. more? Yeah.. Let’s go to bed. Tomorrow’s Christmas!” And with that, he lied down, loudly yawning and getting ready to sleep.

Normally Y/N would lie down next to him and cuddle. Jimin was a natural hugger. And although Y/N made it look like she didn’t like skinship at first, there was no way Jimin would buy that. He always remembered a little girl who’d come to him for hugs when she was sad, not caring about seeming strong around him. 

But tonight, Y/N went to sleep on the other bed instead. Because frankly, Jimin had annoyed her. He had just told her she was allowed date people, as long as she promised not to care about them more than Jimin himself. That was just selfish and inconsiderate in Y/N’s eyes. Cuz it wasn’t like he ever asked Y/N’s consent when he was the one dating people.

She decided to just sleep on everything that happened. So she closed her eyes and pulled the covers over herself. That was her first time falling asleep on Taehyung’s bed.

—–

The next morning –afternoon, really- she was being called back to consciousness by a deep but muffled voice with a tall figure hovering over her. But she didn’t wanna get up yet. That’s why she closed her eyes that were barely even opened in the first place and burried her head under the sheets. Only to be welcomed by the balmy fragrance belonging to the owner of the bed she was in. The scent could easily pull her back to dreamland but the deep voice just wouldn’t go away. Then a hand softly made contact with her shoulder, nudging it only a little.

“Yeah, what?”

“Y/N, wake up it’s me.” Y/N’s brain slowly started to decipher the deep voice. It sounded more and more familiar until it clicked. Taehyung.

She made a quick move to turn around and straigthen up on the bed. But since Taehyung was hovering over her and didn’t expect her to get up so suddenly she crashed into him. They bumped heads and it was both an embarrassing and a slightly painful experience.

“Sorry I- I’m so stupid-”

Taehyung couldn’t help but giggle.

“No, it’s okay. Are you okay?”

Y/N was also smiling. “Yeah..” Then she remembered who she was talking to and who’s bed she was in. Panic crept up to her brain in mere seconds. What was he gonna think about finding her in his bed, all messy and obviously hungover?

“Sorry I woke you. Your mom called. She couldn’t reach you. I guess Jimin was M.I.A for a while too, so she tried me. Lucky I came back early and found you. She sounded worried, maybe you should give her a call.”

Y/N’s mom had a habit of making a fuss when she couldn’t instantly reach Y/N. She searched for her phone, scanning through the bed with her hands. Until Taehyung reached over to the nightstand behind his bed. Doing this made his chest hover over Y/N once more, but this time at a much closer proximity cuz he was now sitting on the bed. He looked at Y/N and saw her stiffened posture because of that closeness, as he was pulling back.

“Oh, sorry.” His face was visibly getting redder. “Here.” He held out her phone. That’s right Y/N thought. She had put it there before going to sleep. As she was taking it from his hand, she saw how he was staring at the ground, timidly. He even scooted over to the other side of the bed to put the distance he unknowningly closed, between them again. And that summarized his sexy but shy character up perfectly, Y/N thought.

She decided to just text her mom instead of calling. It might’ve had something to do with being a little bitter about how her mom was always busy with other things on mostly every Christmas. Meanwhile she glanced over to Jimin’s bed and found it was empty. She thought about texting him. But then, her eyes landed on the coffee table and saw his phone was still there, where he left it last night. She found it to be strange. Why would he be in such a hurry that he’d forget his phone, on a free day like Christmas day?

What she didn’t know was Jimin had woken up in the middle of the night, feeling cold. When he realized the space next to him was empty, he looked around to find Y/N sleeping soundly on Taehyung’s bed. So that’s why he was cold. She had never slept anywhere but next to Jimin in all the times she stayed over. But as soon as he revealed Taehyung liked her, there she was, under the covers and all that. He hadn’t been able to sleep until the morning after that. So he had just up and left to clear his head.

“By the way, sorry for crashing on your bed. I uh- I know it looks weird-”

“Wha- No, it’s okay.” Taehyung could only appreciate the sight in front of him. “I knew you were gonna spend Christmas Eve with Jimin again, I knew you’d be here.” The twist was, he expected to find them curled up in Jimin’s bed as usual. But with him gone and with Y/N on this bed, he could sense something was up. He wasn’t gonna press about that, though. And Y/N appreciated it.

“So, why are you back so early?”

“Well, my parents planned a trip for three days including Christmas. But since we have exams coming right after the holiday, I thought I’d skip the whole thing. So we had a very early Christmas breakfast just before they left and I came here.”

“Oh. So you’ve joined the rest of us losers who get to spend the holiday here?” She joked around bitterly.

“Yeah. Kinda sucks how I spent 8 hours to go to and come back from home but I’ve only seen my parents for like 6.”

“At least you had breakfast with them. I haven’t had a proper breakfast since forever.”

It wasn’t like Y/N couldn’t cook or something. There just wasn’t much time for breakfast in their busy lives. With school, part time jobs and always getting up super early, days went by so fast. But today was a free day. And Taehyung had an idea.

“Well, we can actually make breakfast.. right now. Well, it’d be lunch but I’ve been grocery shopping before I came here.”

The offer put a smile on Y/N’s face, exactly as Taehyung wanted to achive.

“Can we make pancakes?”

They started off by searching for a recipe online.

“Got it. Pancakes for 2 persons-”

“We should probably double everything. Since we’re three with Jimin. Three with big appetites.” Y/N was proud of how much they all loved eating to be honest.

“Right, yup. Oh and by the way, do you know where he went off to?”

“Uh.. no.” She was starting to think Jimin left becuse he was upset with her for some reason. Her guess was close enough.

“Well, I’m sure he’ll show in a bit. And we’ll have breakfast ready for him.”

That cheered Y/N up a little. They were now trying to cook with two people in the very cramped up kitchen part of the room which only consisted of a stove, one counter and a mini fridge. It was a mess with Y/N bossing Taehyung around telling him what to do. Taehyung being mischevious and getting flour all over Y/N. Constantly bumping into each other and laughing like crazy. Total chaos but too much fun. And they were getting good looking pancakes as result.

All of this was helping Y/N remember why she had a crush on Taehyung and how it made her feel back then. Between all the giggling, they didn’t hear Jimin opening the door. They did hear the loud bang that came out when he shut it, though. Jimin was obviously not expecting such a view in front of him. He had a confused and somewhat hurt look on his face until he saw that the coffee table was set up for three people. He also saw his phone was there which was another relief for he had thought he dropped it somewhere.

“Taehyung, you’re already back?” He was talking to Taehyung but looking at Y/N.

“Yeah. No Christmas at home for me either this year. C'mon let’s dig in before the pancakes get cold.”

Only two types of conversation happened as they ate. Between Taehyung and Y/N. And between Taehyung and Jimin. Until Y/N decided to break it.

“Chim, where were you all morning?”

“I couldn’t really sleep from the cold all night. So I went to the coffee shop as soon as it was morning, to get warmer.” That was a figurative rock thrown at Y/N for not cuddling him, despite knowing how sensetive he was to cold. She rolled her eyes. But even though she had done it to kinda punish him last night, it still made her feel bad.

“Guys I should get going. Gotta take care of some school stuff.” Y/N said as she got up to walk to the door. “But tonight, I’m hosting Christmas dinner and you both have to come, no excuses.”

Jimin smiled sincerely -for the first time that day- at how she could easily get bossy and motherlike.

“You’ll also be required to have some of my mom’s magic soup I’ll make to protect us from the cruel winter, so be prepared.” And with that, she walked out. Jimin’s eyes watched her with adoration as she left. But his face dropped when he saw Taehyung had the same expression.

“Bro, I wish you were here this morning when I came in.”

“Why?”

“Cuz I kinda freaked out when I saw her all snuggled up on my bed. I hope she didn’t notice.”

“I think it went okay, Tae. You guys had alone time like you wanted.”

“True. I just get so nervous, man. But I think there was something there while we were cooking together. I hope I’m not being crazy.”

There was something, alright. And it was all thanks to Jimin and his big mouth. But why was it this hard to even think about these two people he cared deeply for, becoming closer?

It was nearly evening when Jimin saw Taehyung getting ready, trying extra hard to look good. While Jimin himself was relaxed on his bed.

“Dude, going somewhere fancy?”

The confident Taehyung posing stiriking looks at the mirror, instantly turned into a giggly kid at Jimin’s comment.

“Well, dinner time’s closing in. I thought I’d go over to Y/N’s a bit early and maybe help out?”

“Oh..” Jimin got up at once. He was quickly getting ready, putting some casual clothes on in a rush and talking at the same time.

“Uhh, actually I’m supposed to go earlier because we were gonna work on some moves for the Spring Musical thing. I should probably hurry over there.” Jimin moved at lightning speed towards the door.

“O- Okay.. I should let you guys focus then, I’ll be over later.”

He was thoughtful despite being dissappointed so Jimin turned back just as he was about to leave.

“Sorry, bro. Thanks.” he said and darted out.

When Y/N answered her impatiently knocked door, she didn’t expect to find Jimin, looking soft in his oversized hoodie but staring her up with a fierce demeanor. Curse and bless that duality.

“Hey, angel.” He let himself in. “Do you need any help with the dinner?”

“No, I already have everything ready. But you can set up the table, Chimmy.”

Y/N was glad they didn’t seem to be at odds anymore. Neither of them was good at staying mad at the other.

Jimin went over to the little cupboard where he knew the utensils were and brought two sets of everything to her little table. Y/N thought of it to be habit, as it was just the two of them mostly. So she grabbed and placed another serving on the table, herself.

“Hey we should call Tae over before dishes go cold.”

Jimin rolled his eyes. “Right, I’ll text him.”

“Can you check if the soup has enough salt?” Y/N was holding out a spoonful of it for Jimin to taste. He leaned in with his mouth wide open but Y/N stopped him suddenly.

“Wait! It’s hot you silly.” She blew on the spoon. “Now you can have it.”

Jimin looked at her fondly before tasting it.

“Mm~ it’s perfect.” He booped her nose and she scrunched it. But she actually loved it when he did that.

“Did you text Tae yet?”

“I’m about to, woman. What’s the rush? Sick of me that easily?” He was whining and complaining like a child, Y/N loved it when he did that, also.

“What’re you talking about? Meals are gonna get cold.”

Jimin did text him finally, but not without frowning.

“Did you and him talk about- you know..?”

“Wh- No! Why would I bring that up? You shouldn’t either. Ever.” Y/N felt flustered enough as it was. After finding out about Taehyung’s feelings, she had become confused about her own.

“Why? Don’t you like him as well?”

“Jimin- Can we drop the topic? He might walk through the door any second!”

“No, he’d knock first. Even I knock.”

And he did knock. Right at that second. Y/N ran to answer it, all the while sending Jimin implying looks to get him to keep his mouth shut about the subject.

“Am I late?”

“Nope. Actually right on time.” Right on time for Y/N to escape Jimin’s interrogation.

“I was surprised when Jimin texted this soon. Did you already decide on moves for the musical?”

Jimin’s eyes went wide with panic. Caught in a lie. Fortunately, Y/N caught on quickly and didn’t want any fuss.

“Uh.. well no, not yet. What Jimin came up with was no good.”

Hurtful.. But Jimin let it go because she did just saved his ass there. Although he was sure she’d question him about it later.

Dinner went great with everyone having fun. Then, they were about to move from the table to where the small, shit TV Y/N brought from her family’s old house was. As mentioned before, Y/N’s room was smaller than Jimin and Taehyung’s. So was her couch. If they were gonna watch Home Alone as planned, one of them had to sit on the floor cushion.

After losing rock-paper-scissors Jimin was stuck doing the dishes. Y/N went to the TV to put the movie on and Taehyung took a seat on the couch, waiting for her to join him when she was done. But Y/N sat on the cushion instead, trying to be polite to her guests. As Taehyung was contemplating on how to get her to come up to the couch, Jimin appeared and went straight to sit next to Y/N.

“Guys, isn’t it cold to sit on the ground? Maybe we can all squeeze here.”

“There?” Y/N looked up to him over her shoulder and joked bitterly. “You don’t even believe that.”

“Alright but at least one of you can come up here. Y/N?”

“Nah, I’ll warm us up. C’mere, panda.” Jimin pulled Y/N to him until there was no more space and trapped her in his embrace. Taehyung wasn’t supposed to get jealous. They’d always do that. Cling onto each other any chance they get, casually hold hands and even sleep next to each other. But the eyeing look Jimin occasionally gave him over his shoulder made it seem like all this wasn’t just bff stuff. Taehyung felt that maybe Jimin was trying to keep Y/N away or even, to himself.

After the movie was over, Taehyung excused himself, saying he felt exhausted. He was awake since before sunrise, after all. Actually, so was Jimin but he on the other hand didn’t plan on leaving any time soon. Y/N was seeing Taehyung out, with a smile on her face. Taehyung returned it shyly, eyes on the ground until he gathered the courage to look up at her through the fringe of his hair.

“Thanks for everything. Especially the soup. I had a bit of a sore throat but not anymore. You’re my hero.”

That last part came out with so much meaning, words dipped in his velvety voice. And it made Y/N beam at him.

“You wanna hang out tomorrow?”

Jimin stopped breathing. Of course he was listening in before, while pretending to be on his phone. But right now, they had his full, undivided attention.

It came as a bit of a shock to Y/N as well. It wouldn’t sound like a big deal -just hanging out, if it weren’t for the eager look on Taehyung’s face.

“Yeah..” The word just slipped out of Y/N’s mouth before she could even think.

It was Taehyung’s turn to beam. “Great.” With that, he bid his farewell and left, all the while grinning like a fool.

Y/N was also smiling while closing the door but that was only until she turned around and saw the we’re about to have a serious talk face Jimin had.

“You do know he meant that as a date, right?” Jimin had gotten up from his seat, panicked and jumpy.

“Why did you lie to him about coming here early?”

He scoffed at her attempt to change the subject.

“Because I wanted to talk to you alone, about all this. Would you rather I brought him along?” His voice was loud.

“What more is there to say? You’ve already told me you were okay with it!”

Jimin dropped all of his defenses at that. Because it was true. Why wouldn’t he be? Taehyung was maybe the only guy he could trust with Y/N. So he wasn’t really worried. What was the name of the feeling sitting heavily on his chest, then? He didn’t know.

“I know.” he said in a low voice that sounded like a whisper and sat back down on the couch. “And I want you to feel- I dunno.. happy. I see how you smile at him, too.” He was more mumbling than talking. Because it was hard saying all this, for reasons he didn’t understand. “You know I love your smile.”

Y/N blushed out of nowhere at his last comment. And the upset state of him softened her so she went over to him. Jimin continued:

“I just, I guess I don’t like sharing your smile.. or you.”

Y/N brought her hand on his chin to pull his head up and make him look at her.

“Chim Chim.. you’re worried about nothing.”

He tried to avert his gaze once more but Y/N held it in place.

“Hey, I mean it. Because it’s not even a big deal as you make it out to be and even if it was.. I already promised you, didn’t I?”

Jimin wanted to be relieved. And he pretended to be in that moment and said goodnight shortly after. But as he strolled outside in the cold he felt like there was more he wanted to say to her. He silently promised he would, as soon as he figures it out himself.

…

Author’s note: Hello:) That was long, sorry. I just can’t stop writing this one. Thank you so so much if you bared with me and read it, I hope you liked it. I’ve got more intense stuff planned for the story so this will have at least one more part for sure. What do you guys think? Who should Y/N end up with?

[apparitionism]

Mercury 13a

This is kind of old-school for me: the first part of a two-part part. A conversation spans, and is the bulk of, both parts. It’s lengthy, that conversation, and while it hits a few beats correctly, if actors were actually going to perform the thing, it would most likely need some serious workshopping—which, if the parts were cast appropriately, I would certainly enjoy witnessing. I tried linking to the previouslies, but tumblr disappeared me, so I’m reposting without links. The other 12 parts are quite findable, via my tumblr’s search or archive.

Mercury 13a

On the drive back to the hotel, Myka sat alone in the back seat, as she had the night before. She wasn’t quite sure how that had happened this time, but she had a sense of having been manipulated. By Pete, which was strange… but then he started talking. To Helena, in a very sincere tone of voice. Which was also strange.

“Hey H.G.,” he began, “I think it’s pretty sweet, how we figured out that Rosebud deal together.”

“Are you feeling all right?” Helena asked. Strange to her too, then.

“Come on, don’t hate on me.”

“I… don’t? Am not?”

“I’m trying to make nice, okay? Because now you know what I’m scared of, and I don’t want you getting any ideas.”

“You know what I’m afraid of as well.”

He snorted. “Nothing?”

“If that’s your pronunciation of ‘further revelations of a disturbing nature regarding what happened when my body housed a consciousness not my own,’ then yes.”

Pete didn’t answer immediately. Myka didn’t want to breathe, lest she distract him from getting wherever he was going, wherever he and Helena were going.

Eventually, he said. “Got it.” He paused again, then threw over his shoulder, “How you feeling back there, Mykes? Still got the upset tummy?”

So much for thinking something important might be happening. “I’m not a five-year-old,” Myka said. “My stomach is fine.”

He swerved, and she swallowed a wave of what was absolutely not nausea.

“Well, shave my head and call me Steve,” he said without glancing into the rear-view mirror.

Helena said, hurriedly—clearly to head off another swerve, which Myka appreciated—“On the topic of fear. Or an aversion, at the very least: why did it occur to you to change, of all things, Myka’s interpretation of sugar?”

“It’s like that time we told you about with the juggling and the hairbrush and all, how Myka knew we’d never in a million years have slept together,” he said to Helena, who responded with a muttered “thank god.”

“High five, right?” he enthused, holding up his hand. And Helena, who when she tried to high-five always looked like an anthropologist who found the idea of being a participant-observer intrinsically perverse, did in fact high-five him. “To check up on something for real,” he went on, “you go big. Little stuff might not matter. Might not show. We’d never sleep together. Myka would never think sugar was good for her.”

“I heard you just as loudly and clearly,” Helena pointed out. “Why didn’t it matter to me, I wonder?”

“You eat sugar all the time. Plus you sneak it. I’ve caught you raiding Steve’s secret stash of those S’mores Pop-Tarts, those ones Meryl-me would Method-midnight-snack her way through.”

“They aren’t secret. Everyone knows he keeps them in the leftmost cupboard on the far wall, middle shelf, behind the fondue pot, and he doesn’t mind others eating them as long as they replenish the supply. Which I did. Which everyone does.”

“Everyone?” Myka wondered aloud. Everyone was in a secret Pop-Tart snacking club? Including Meryl-Streep-as-Pete? Everyone?

Helena and Pete turned matching of-course-not-you eyerolls on her. “In any case,” Helena said, “my point is that I know—in fact, believe, for I fervently believe in science and its findings—that sugar has little to no nutritional value. So why didn’t I feel a difference, in terms of my beliefs?”

“Huh. That’s interesting.”

“My question?” Helena asked.

“No,” Pete said, and Myka was surprised when Helena didn’t react to what she normally would have taken as a slight. “What’s interesting is that Myka’s all science-y like you, but she didn’t figure it out, like how Ida sherlocked the rabbits.” He began to slap out a rhythm against the steering wheel—focused fidgeting. He was thinking. Finally, he said, “But also, maybe she really really really didn’t want to figure it out.”

Helena said, casually but not, as if she’d been waiting for him to reach this exact conclusion, “The enthusiastic consumption of pie would suggest.”

“Just to remind you both, I’m sitting here,” Myka said.

Helena shook her head. “Shh. Pete is doing philosophy.”

“Aha. That’s why my head hurts. And I’m hungry again.”

“We’ll be at the hotel soon, where you’ll order a pizza and recover,” Helena assured him.

“It’s like you’ve met me.”

“Certainly met the pizza delivery personnel. Paid them, in fact, at times.”

Pete turned his head away from the road to look at Helena, and the look lasted a little longer than Myka was comfortable with, from a safety perspective. Finally, with his gaze back where it was supposed to be, he said, “It’s true that maaaybe I haven’t given you full props for that kind of thing.”

“It’s true that maaaybe,” Helena echoed—and there was that awkward anthropologist again, for Helena rarely said “maybe,” and never said it like Pete did—“I have owed you that and more.”

A pause. Then: “I’m tired,” Pete said.

Helena nodded. “Understandable. Nap until your pizza arrives?”

“No, I mean, of all of it. Let’s just not anymore, okay? Any of it.”

Now Helena was the one to pause. “It’s an idea,” she said, slowly.

“Yeah, but I mean it. We worked this one out together. Let’s just.”

“You’re certain?”

“Who knows. All I do know is, I know what I’m scared of. And it ain’t you.”

Myka watched Helena look swiftly at Pete, then turn her face back to the dark road. “Good,” she eventually said. “All right. Good.”

He smiled. “No pullback on snark, though. For Claud’s sake—she’d whine about us being boring, and I’m pretty sure the main ingredient in any Recipe for Disaster is Claudia Donovan thinking she’s gotta start manufacturing her own entertainment.”

Another glance from Helena, this time accompanied by an answering smile. “Fair. Agreed, and fair.”

“The fair. Where it all just happened,” he said.

“It did.” She offered him a low five, and he patted her palm.

Myka was extremely unsure of how she was feeling about what she’d been witnessing… witnessing for most of this day, and now the nighttime too. It wasn’t quite a mirror image of yesterday and last night; instead a softening of those, like looking at them through a Vaselined lens.

At the hotel, instead of dashing away, Pete said, “You’re both coming out of that room alive in the morning, right? Alive and together?”

Now the difference between yesterday and today wasn’t Vaselined at all; now it annoyed Myka. “What do you care if we’re together,” she said.

Pete did not take the expected exaggerated offense. Instead, he shook his head sadly at Myka, then said, “Look out, H.G. That sounds like a sugar crash, and it’s headed right for you.”

“I doubt she’ll be persuaded that mud makes everything safer,” Helena said, also sadly.

“Look at me not making a joke about naked mud wrestling. How’s this: make sure she gives you your two minutes to try and restart.”

“Comedians,” Myka said. Now she knew exactly how she felt: like she wanted to hit them both. And hug them, despite not being a hugger. The twinning of those impulses didn’t have anything to do with having eaten sugar—that, she knew, because it wasn’t by any means a new sensation.

“Alive and together,” Pete repeated. Then he said to Helena, “I’d add ‘sane’ and ‘good,’ like Ida did, but I don’t want to set the bar too high for you.” He applauded himself, two little claps. “See? There’s your snark.”

“Here’s one for you: don’t order an extra-large pizza,” Helena advised. “The size will give you nightmares. As will your consequently inflated waistline.”

“That’s actually not a bad one. Hang onto it for when we get home; it’ll make Claud laugh. We make sure to remind her about the rabbits, and she’ll call me Anya and I’ll get offended, and then you can go into the pizza bit.”

As he plotted, Myka realized she was unsure again: about whether she would be able to survive a long-term Lattimer-and-Wells strategic-improv team. Was that even a thing? Would Claudia eventually catch on? And if she did, would she insist on making them wear matching Lattimer-and-Wells T-shirts? Could the Caretaker dictate agents’ wardrobe? If so, Claudia would never stop at T-shirts, which made Myka’s mind, for reasons known only to refined sugar, leap to the idea of herself, Helena, Pete, and Steve done up as KISS. She determined to never let her mind leap that way again, given how immediately confused she got about who should be who.

But: “If I tell you you’re Gene Simmons, can we call it a night?” she asked Pete, who said a confused “If you tell me I’m Gene Simmons for what?”

“Reasons,” Myka told him. “Your-ego reasons. Obviously Helena’s the Paul Stanley, but then Steve and I fight it out, because I bet we both want whiskers.”

“This is not a sugar crash,” Pete declared. “This is some kinda episode.”

Myka said, “If so, it’s one where Claudia gets drunk on power—”

“Episode ending in Y,” he mumbled.

“—and makes us all wear leather outfits and platform boots,” Myka finished.

Pete looked to Helena, and she affirmed, “This is an episode. With an increasingly desperate tone that I am beginning to recognize, one translatable as ‘Helena, I know we will soon be speaking privately, but I am nervous about what that will entail.’”

Helena really was every bit as annoying as Pete. Particularly when she was right.

“Not your first rodeo,” Pete observed.

“Demolition derby,” Helena corrected.

Pete looked like he was about to return volley, but Myka preempted him with a quick, “Goodnight, Pete.” She grabbed Helena by the arm and pulled her down the hallway toward their room.

“Don’t be nervous, Mykes!” he yelped, but he stayed put, so his voice receded as Myka hurry-walked them away. “She’s actually kind of okay, once you get to know her! And so are you! So I really think alive and together is gonna be the…”

They rounded a corner, and Myka slowed. She said to Helena, “Sorry. I think I was a little overcome by the whole you-and-Pete peace treaty.”

“I don’t have any real purchase on why it happened, so I am as well. What is a Paul Stanley?”

“We can worry about it later,” Myka said, for they had reached the room.

The space was pristine, all evidence of last night’s estrangement tidied away. The chair was a chair again, not Helena’s self-imposed prison. The bed was a bed, a white-sheeted, blankly innocent canvas.

The coffeemaker still did not have a filter basket.

“Scene of the crime?” Myka tried, as they stood in the doorway, as the door then swung shut behind them.

“At the very least,” Helena said, “the scene of a disastrously unsuccessful attempt to reconcile the irreconcilable.”

Myka gave in—to exhaustion, or the sugar crash, or whatever it was—and took the three steps to the bed, sitting down and then letting her length collapse back across the formerly inhospitable expanse. “The phrase ‘endless wonder’ makes me cringe,” she told the popcorn ceiling. “It’s practically Pavlovian.”

“In truth I can’t imagine a scenario in which endlessness wouldn’t be a burden. Wonder, torment… you know Charles wrote an essay on Pavlov. In 1927.”

Now Myka carefully told the ceiling, “I did not know that. I also didn’t know you’d been doing so much digging.”

“It was hearing his voice in that interview that made me determined. He used the word ‘jolly’… he did so often use that word.” She said “jolly” again, as if it were from a language she knew only phonetically. “I’d been so angry with him, but he turned back into my brother, if you see what I mean. A speaking human. With whom I had spoken. I wanted to know what he’d done. As it happens, I have relatives.”

“Do you want to find them? Meet them?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Myka said, still careful.

“But—will you listen to the interview?” Helena asked, with a little inhale of… uncertainty? Insecurity?

Odd. Both the request and the inhale. “If you want me to,” Myka said.

Her unvoiced “but why do you want me to” might as well have been said out loud, for Helena responded, “Because,” and she looked down, up, down, up, “it’s the closest you can come to meeting him.”

She would have wanted me to meet her brother. “I think maybe he’s not the only Wells who’s sentimental,” Myka said, to stave off the idea that she herself was the sentimental one here.

“You might have liked him. I misled you on that point, early on. I was so dismissive of him.”

“You were angry.”

“But he was my brother. Was. My brother.”

Myka propped herself up on her elbows. Helena had remained standing, there by the door, in a pose—and with an expression—far too hologram-reminiscent. “Come here,” Myka said. “Please.” Helena nodded and moved to sit in the chair by the bed, and Myka said, “That’s not—” But she needed to be careful. “This day,” she settled on saying, and she laughed a little. “That pie. I really did feel like I was someone else, eating it. Enjoying it.”

“Well. You were. Someone else. You were a body, one resembling Myka, who was no longer in possession of a salient piece of information about yourself. Something constitutive of yourself, as you have historically ideated that self.”

She said it mildly, so Myka tried to do “mild” in return. “Okay. I get it. My sugar-sick body gets it. It’s not the same—it wasn’t my full self—but I get it.”

But no: she didn’t get it at all; in fact she’d got it wrong, for Helena near-snapped, “As mentioned earlier today, it wasn’t my full self either,” and Myka braced herself. But Helena backed off. Her tone lightened as she repeated Myka’s words: “‘Sugar-sick body.’ Pete was exactly right, you know.”

“He was?” This pact between them, if it held, was going to be… peculiar.

“You ‘really really really’ did not want to figure out—to understand—that your belief had been altered. Why did you enjoy the pie so much? For you did enjoy it so much.”

“I’d’ve licked if off the Pinto,” Myka agreed. That earned her a vaguely horrified “what?”, so she said, “Never mind. The color was the same, and so I… never mind. My honest best guess as to why? No slippery-slope problem. Complete freedom. In real life, I try hard not to start any kind of slide, because I’m so susceptible. You say a piece of pie’s okay one time, and then it’s all pie. Morning, noon, night.”

“Surely you’re exaggerating.”

“Am I? You say meeting H.G. Wells at gunpoint’s okay one time, and then…”

She’d said it without really thinking—because meeting at gunpoint was something they did joke about, gingerly—but saying anything without thinking was foolish here, foolish now. Helena slumped deep into the chair. “So you believe I am as unhealthy for you as you now once again believe refined sugar to be.”

It was true that Myka was susceptible to slippery slopes. It was also true that meeting H.G. Wells at gunpoint one time had launched her into a slide down such a slope, one of morning-noon-night want, and it was additionally true that as Myka was sliding, she’d tried to make herself believe that Helena belonged in the same category as sugar and other indulgences. Then, after Yellowstone, she’d tried to discipline herself back up that slope to recapture the morally high, self-denying ground.

But there, too, Myka had been doing the Regents’ work for them: punishing herself.

“No,” Myka said now. “It isn’t like that at all. I believed in you and I was right. I got it wrong for a while—the part about believing—but then I got it right. Nobody had to use an artifact on me. Unless at the very beginning you shouted ‘you’re in love with me’ through that microphone?”

Helena didn’t answer immediately. She moved her head mindfully again, not up and down, but as if she were trying to work a crick out of her neck. Then she said, “That isn’t as fanciful as you make it sound. Earlier, both Pete and Ida understood my implication that in intimate contexts, you could be said to be, at times, similarly… voracious.” Myka was about to concede that Helena wasn’t wrong, when Helena continued, “I like you that way.” She could have said this suggestively; instead it was simple.

If she’d been suggestive, Myka would have understood exactly what she meant, and would have dismissed it because of that. But simple? “Why?” Myka asked, also simply.

And Helena answered in kind. “Your being unashamed of your appetites is—please don’t take offense—somewhat out of character. I suppose it has to do with your slippery-slope problem… but that such rare lack of shame could stand in relation to me seems nothing short of a miracle.”

Only occasionally did Myka feel that she was granted access to something like the real everyday texture of Helena’s distant past. Most of the time, Helena told smooth stories, making light of then-now differences, but the way she said “such rare lack of shame”—that wasn’t just about Myka. In those words were serrations, deep and old and yet still raw, and shame had been the knife, no matter who had wielded it, there in that distant past, whether Helena herself or someone else or everyone.

“It does stand in relation to you,” Myka said. “But more importantly, in relation to us.” She didn’t imagine it would counter any part of that past, but it was true.

Helena took her time. Then: “Surely you said that through the microphone.”

Myka turned on her side. Helena was small in the chair again, but her eyes were bright. They were quiet for a while, breathing. Two bodies performing respiration. Far older than science, Myka thought.

“I’ll tell you about the bet,” she said, when the silence threatened to become too meaningful. Then she reconsidered. “Except for now I sort of don’t want to tell you. You might hear it wrong.”

Dry: “That would not be new.”

Myka matched her. “This is nobody’s first demolition derby, is it? Anyway, plastic duck-boats and water guns, and obviously I lost, but the important part was, I was trying to win us a week free of stuff like ‘Wow, Myka, you sure enjoyed yourself last night’ and ‘Hey H.G., quit staring at Myka’s assets.’ Not because I’m ashamed. Because it’s Pete.”

“I understand.”

Myka appreciated that, but a loss was a loss. “Shooting,” she said, still frustrated with herself, with the game, and particularly with Pete. “Even water guns, I figured I’d win.”

“But you lost. Did you ‘psych yourself out’?”

Adorable anthropologist. Myka would have preferred to grimace, but the anthropologist made her smile instead. “Defective game. I wish it’d been those giant ducks of yours, and they’d made him run away screaming.”

“What do you want me to tell you?” Helena asked, and there it was.

“I honestly don’t know,” Myka admitted. “Nothing? Everything?”

“You wanted to know her name.”

“I wanted to torture myself with it. That was a really stupid thing to want.”

“Not stupid. Unproductive, perhaps, yet completely understandable. Are you happy with me?”

That seemed like a real question, so Myka gave it a real answer. “Not every minute, but a whole lot of the time.”

“There you are. We all feel a need to torture ourselves, because none of us believes we deserve to be happy. Rightly or wrongly. You didn’t believe you deserved a pardon, either.”

“Shame? No, that’s guilt. Anyway I’d probably really rather not.”

“Be happy?”

“Torture myself.”

Helena took another of those meaningful pauses. “No version of myself could have said her name the way I say yours. And she may know something of this body—some softer version, not the one that says your name—but she doesn’t know me.” She paused, began a smile. “For example, although she knew that I had an affinity for the historical H.G. Wells, as anyone with a love of literature would, she had no idea how fervently I despised that hideously bearded Frenchman Verne.”

“You didn’t like his beard?” Myka asked, smiling too.

“I didn’t like him. As the beard was attached to him, what do you imagine I thought of it?”

“I figured maybe you were anti all facial hair. You were really dismissive of your brother’s mustache.”

Helena crossed her arms and sniffed. “Well, who wouldn’t have been?”

“He did keep it though. Decades. I’ve seen the pictures.”

“I know. Every photograph I saw, I wanted to shave his ridiculously bewhiskered face. He was so handsome as a boy.”

“I’m partial to his handsome sister.”

Now Helena pushed her chin and chest forward a bit; she raised an eyebrow. “You certainly know what to say to me.”

“It doesn’t take H.G.-Wells-level genius to figure out that you’d like hearing you’re more handsome than your brother.”

“If only because I am clean-shaven?” she asked, running the fingers of her left hand over her upper lip, around her chin.

Myka shrugged against the bed. “Your call if you want a mustache.”

“Unlikely,” Helena said. She sat back, arms again crossed. “I can’t tell you everything, in the main because I don’t have your memory. I told you I listened more than I spoke. I told you: I wanted to know. What had… happened. As much an invitation to torturing oneself as your wanting to know her name, I suppose. I know you think I act the martyr. Not an unjustified accusation. But… they were kind to each other. I believe they loved each other.”

Myka should have expected such a dagger. “I changed my mind; I can’t hear this.” Was saying that—feeling that—a step in a bad, last-night direction?

“But you can,” Helena said quickly. “Or you need to? I certainly needed to. So as to ease my own mind about what she… did. And you certainly need to hear that some version of myself could be kind, could be loving. That the guilt, the shame, both of those could be peeled away, and that at least some bodily decency remained. I hadn’t believed that could be true.”

A better direction: “I’ve been trying to tell you. I’ve seen it, felt it. I believe it. I don’t need Emily Lake for that, and I don’t need a microphone. Maybe you do. I don’t.”

“You certainly needed something last night, something this version of myself couldn’t give.”

“Last night was awful. I was awful.”

“I don’t see how it would have gone differently,” Helena said, an oddly gentle condemnation. “You felt what you felt, and why should you have had to pretend otherwise?”

That did nothing to mitigate Myka’s self-reproach. “You felt what you felt too. And there’s a not-so-fine line between ‘not pretending’ and ‘being an insensitive jerk.’”

“I didn’t know what I wanted. Needed.”

“Me to be there?” Myka tried. “As something other than an insensitive jerk, and I wasn’t.”

“I’ve made the same error in the past, of course. Not being any sort of beneficent presence for you.”

“In your defense, some of those times, you were a hologram,” Myka said, using her I am making light of things that can never be made light of voice.

In the same light-but-heavy-but-light way, Helena said, “My own fault. Due to earlier non-beneficent times.”

Myka shifted her tone only slightly to ask, “How did you leave it with her?” You will be fine with whatever the answer is, she told herself. You will be fine, and you will not cause more trouble.

“With a sense of finality,” Helena said, and her words carried that sense as well. Myka began, minimally, to relax. Helena continued, “I can’t imagine she and I will meet again. It’s astonishing that we met at all, isn’t it?”

Myka was about to agree, but a new, terrible thought stopped her—and reversed all release of tension. “Did you ask her why she came here, to the fair?”

TBC

(I have to warn you, what comes next isn’t going to be any really gut-punchy, gasp-of-astonishment reveal; I never meant to break the conversation here, but it was stretching. And I’m of course disinclined to stop them from stretching.)

Anyway, my tag commentary on this part would have something to do with that line between “not pretending” and “being an insensitive jerk.” It’s a bright line, and I’m pretty sure it’s called empathy. But when you find yourself in one of those insensitive-jerk nosedives, it’s awfully hard to pull up and see any line at all, bright or otherwise...

[flockofdoves]

literally so grateful i just found this???? this has been a huge wall in front of me these past few days since realizing how much disordered eating over the past few months has affected me, having to start entirely reevaluating how i’ve been approaching my relationship with food in the name of not neglecting my chronic illness stuff and how that exact same attitude of trying to make myself better actually just made me fuck up my digestive tract by avoiding certain foods (and food in general bc theres so much its so overwhelming and also now i’m too nauseous and weak to have an appetite!) and by extension make my chronic illness worse. and then now reading about refeeding i was worried because so much refeeding stuff seems to recommend a lot of dairy products and i even before these last few months dairy hasn’t been good for me for over a year (although not just lactose i was thinking it was casein too but also like . lol idk maybe its just another one of the phenomena thats talked about here) and wasn’t sure how to balance that when avoidance of foods i see as triggers for health got me here in the first place and at this point literally anything is gonna be too much for my gut and i gotta tough through that

uhhhh turned into a rant/vent about things unrelated to the article under this

kinda distressing though tbh to think about what IBS even like . Means . lol like it does make sense to see it more as a small part of the bigger picture of all my stuff and how my nerves and shit or w/e are wired as someone labeled in contemporary times as/with autistic/adhd/ocd/schizo/anxiety/fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue and its comforting to see it more as a symptom of how i can easily get out of wack from there instead of just. eternally always bad (although i was getting okay with that too like i value parts of myself enough i could deal with that being reality without too much mourning beyond how i have no accommodation under capitalism. but still this is better than that even) but its weird finding ways of saying i don’t have to lean into it too much that don’t kinda just trigger me thinking about doctors/peers/etc whove more just saw me as a burden and didn’t care to listen to me before dismissing things as all in my head thus i was exaggerating and not deserving of compassion/care/etc. i know i don’t mean that towards myself but the nuance is a lot to deal with after so recently having that used to hurt me all over again and then in trying to take care of myself actually hurting myself worse. so that adds a weird layer to things i hope i won’t get a complex about lolol but also i guess thats cool i don’t have to beat myself up for not sticking to a fodmap free diet or deciding it wasn’t worth trying to see if i had a gluten intolerance because the food i’d be avoiding would make me more upset than any pain i deal with. like ... whoa.. i wasn’t actually being unreasonable or ridiculous when i thought that or being self destructive?? and i started considering otherwise when i now realize i was already dealing with ED symptom stuff so like . i can tolerate most foods i think at least some of the time??

really curious if i can regain my lactose tolerance considering i only starting being intolerant in the past year so it wasn’t a primary lactose intolerance thing maybe?? and i had some on and off symptoms of my current behaviors that lead to this that whole time so that’d be really cool actually lol i miss just being able to enjoy dairy products (and in retrospect my aversion to even tasting them even with lactaid pills or somethign definitely was liek...... disordered eating stuff lol) 

also curious if my ED stuff had anything to do with my tremors or brain fog getting worse. i defintiely think at least somewhat like yeah. the timeframe makes sense. idk if thats the primary reason for those symptoms because i’ve had them at various points in my life in that combination but the recent upsurge in them and also the fact that most of those days were right after really bad nausea days and also how today i realized i was tremoring a lot in ways i directly associated with feeling weak because of trying to deal with ED related stuff i think that definitely will at least become less constant of a problem in getting over this. those are all symptoms i exhibit in various contexts with various physical and emotional pressures so i don’t think thats their only cause but i think that really does make me so much less worried about why the hell i’ve gotten so much worse so suddenly

scared about how long this will take i feel like i’ve only really had my eating become consistently disordered over the past couple months but idk i’ve had weird episodes for ages and if i really didn’t recognize this was even a problem til right this week idk if i’m thinking back accurately enough. its definitely worse in that period though bc my doctor 2 months ago (also wait... i guess that means its been even longer lol?? no way i lost that all in the couple weeks i really can look back and see my behavior as disordered before that appointment) remarked i lost like 15 pounds since my last visit 3 months ago (they also remarked like that was a good thing lol.) so i guess i’ll keep figuring that out its wild though reading that apparently just getting your stomach back to normal can take at least 2 months like it makes sense but like . jeez. hard to process that i did that and didn’t realize i’d like to think i’ve become so much more in tune with my body these past few years but i guess i’m not doing it the right way even if i’m glad i no longer just stay quiet and tough things out while suffering and dismissing it with no idea whats going on or why and feeling too ashamed and guilty to make it anyone elses problem and not pushing back when others dismiss the slightest thing i bring up. but yeah like i did a lot more than i thought i did with this but also i’m glad i caught it so early i feel almost too weird about saying i have an eating disorder like its like i acknowledged that this week and now i’m trying to recover so. thats good. idk i’ll see i’m sure i have a lot to learn and that kinda sucks i had enough to deal with already without this as a factor but!!!!

[prism-rush]

Prism Rush Main Story Episode 2 Chapter 4

Beyond the Rainbow!! -sparkling acceleration to spring-

Episode 2: Our Love is DRAMATIC ♥ #4

First Previous Chapter

Translator’s notes: I don’t have that much to say about this one other than if you have ever thought Minato was a useless character please read it. As much as I love the crazy pace of the movies, sometimes it is a shame that they will probably never get to feature character development like this. But that’s why Prism Rush is such a treasure and the whole reason I started this project in the first place. 

Yu: It’s just a rough cut, but I arranged the song and this is how it came out….

(Dramatic Love plays.)

Leo: Wow! It sounds so great! And with our heartfelt lyrics, it’s really making me swoon! 

Yukinojo: Agreed. It feels like my heart could jump out of my chest by just listening to it. 

Taiga: …Yeah… it’s pretty nice work… For Yu anyway…. 

Yu: WHAT?!

Kakeru: You say that, but you’re tapping your feet to the rhythm. You know you love it!

Taiga: Oh shut it. 

Minato: Yu worked hard on this all day without eating or drinking anything. Thank you, Yu. 

Yu: Hmph. This was nothing for the great Zeus. ….So, Shin, what do you think?

Shin: It’s so exciting! Both my heart and my body just want to dance! I can barely sit still! I can’t wait to share this song’s shining light with all our guests. Yu-kun, thank you so much! 

Yu: G…get off me! Stop acting like you’re a big puppy! 

Leo: Now that our song is done we can get back to working on the preparations for the party! 

Shin: Yeah!! 

(In the hall)

Shin: Hmm… which would be better… 

Minato: What’s wrong, Ichijo? 

Shin: Oh, Minato-san! I went to scout out the venue but, I can’t decide which would work best for us… a glamorous, well-to-do place or  a cozy place with good atmosphere. What do you think?

Minato: I see… It’ll be for where we’ll be putting on Edel Rose’s Christmas performance, right?

Shin: Yeah!

Minato: So rather than a glamorous, well-to-do place, how about we go with the small venue with good atmosphere so we can create warm, house party kind of feel? 

I think that would best represent an Edel Rose Christmas performance. 

Shin: Oh wow, good thinking! I’m so glad I asked you for advice. 

(At the practice rink)

Minato: Kougami, shouldn’t you take a break? I made you a special drink. 

Taiga: I don’t have time for that. I haven’t got the moves for the chorus yet. 

Minato: If you don’t take breaks every so often you’ll give yourself muscle fatigue. …Here! 

Taiga: *gulp* T.. that’s sour! What is this?! What did you just make me drink?!

Minato: It’s citric acid juice made just for you. Citric acid can break down lactic acid, so it’s good for tired muscles. 

Taiga: Now that you mention it, I do feel better. Thank you. 

(In the dorms)

Minato: Suzuno, I’m coming in. Since your work made you such a basket case, I brought you some hot cocoa so you can rel… 

Yu: Zzzzzz…. Zzzzzzz…….. 

Minato: Oh, you’re asleep. You don’t have any blankets. You’re going to catch a cold, so I’ll just tuck you in… You must be exhausted. Even though you’re small, you really work hard. 

Yu: Don’t treat me like a kid!!! …MHmm… mmphpm…. 

Minato: Wasn’t expecting that! … I guess he’s just sleep talking. 

(In the dining room.)

Leo: What should I do?!

Minato: Saionji, what’s wrong? 

Leo: I came up with an idea for our outfits and finished the plans but… I paid too much attention to small details and now I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish them on time! 

Yukinojo: I’ll help you. Don’t worry, there is no need to get so upset. 

Minato: I’ll help too. Where should we start? 

Leo: Okay, please make these corsages in a different color for everyone. Oh no! I messed up again… What should I do now… I’m never going to make it… 

Minato: Saionji, just calm down. You’re so upset you’re making mistakes because your hands are shaking. 

Leo: But… how can I…. 

Minato: Just put all your feelings into your sewing. Think about everyone who will wear these outfits, and everyone who will be watching us. What will it be like? Don’t you think they will enjoy it? Then you be able to calm yourself down naturally and focus on your sewing. 

Leo: ….You’re right. I was so worried I forgot about what’s really important. 

Minato: It’s just like cooking. Thinking about the people who will eat is the secret to deliciousness. 

(Later.)

Minato: Everyone did such good work today! Eat up, and let’s do our best tomorrow too.

Leo: I’m so exhausted…. and my tummy is rumbling…. 

Minato: For Ichijo and Kougami who were pulling their weight all day there’s beef carapaccio. Protein to replenish your stamina. For Saionji and Tachibana who worked on small details I’ve added some broccoli. Vitamin A is good for tired eyes. The strawberries for desert will replenish sugars. Suzuno and Kazuo were using their brains after all. 

Taiga: Hey wait a minute, Kazuo isn’t here is he? 

Kakeru: Aaaaand cut! That was some good footage. The dinner table surrounded with everyone shows the warmth of a true family… 

Taiga: What are you doing?! 

Kakeru: I have been secretly filming all of you all day for the PR video! ♪

Shin: Woah, you weren’t kidding. How did you get this footage of me asking Minato for advice…? 

Taiga: And you even got me chugging that drink from Minato-senpai…! 

Yu: Oh! I should have known it was you who left me that cocoa, Minato. 

Leo: And there’s Yuki-sama and Minato-san helping me with sewing! 

Yukinojo: Minato… you helped everyone today… 

Minato: Yeah. The truth is… I have been struggling with thinking of what I can do for Edel Rose. I thought if I went around helping all of you I might figure it out… But in the end, all I could do was offer moral support. 

Shin: Minato-san…. 

Minato: …Is there really any reason for me to be at Edel Rose at all…. 

Leo: Of course there is!! 

Minato: Saionji… 

Leo: Whenever I am feeling worried or lost, you’re always there for me.  You have such a big heart. It’s because of your kind, warm feelings for all of us that everyone has been able to get this far!! So don’t you dare say things like that!! 

Yukinojo: It’s just like Leo says. Things like kindness and feelings cannot be see with the naked eye, so maybe it’s not obvious to you. But you are helping us all the time. 

Minato: Saionji… Tachibana…. 

Shin: I.. I also feel like there is a warmth surrounding me, calming all my worries whenever you’re around, Minato-san. 

Leo: That’s right… It’s as though Edel Rose is always enveloped in Minato-san’s big love! 

Minato: B… big love? 

Taiga: The heck…? Well, I suppose if you could think of any two words to describe Minato-senpai, it would be that. 

Yu: And only a certain kind of genius could be able to create food as delicious as this! 

Kakeru: See! I told you that actually doing something would be better than just worrying on your own! Don’t you see how we all feel about you? 

Minato: …Yeah, you were right Kazuo. I had no idea you all felt this way about me. The people that I love are all right here.  So I’ll do everything I can.

Everyone, thank you so much! I’ll keep enveloping you as “big love”! 

(At Schwartz Rose) 

Jin: Heheh. Good to see you, Alexander Yamato. 

Alexander: Well, what the hell do you want? 

Jin: I have a favor to ask of you… That Edel Rose Christmas party…. I want you to ruin it. 

Alexander: That’s stupid. I’m not going to just do whatever you want me to do. 

Jin: I’d like to make a deal with you. 

Alexander: A deal…? 

Jin: Yes. In order for you to become the top of street style, I will lend you my full support. 

Alexander: Well, I don’t really like you very much. But that doesn’t sound half bad. 

Jin: That’s right… I can offer you the world. Both of us stand where we are due to our own selfish gains. Consideration for others? Feelings? HAH! Those are for idiots. 

Hijiri…. no matter how many bridges you build, I will find them and come to burn them all down!

(At Edel Rose.)

Shin: Ahhh… this bath is paradise…. 

Leo: Would you like a massage to prepare for tomorrow? 

You’re so stiff, Shin-kun. *squeeze squeeze* 

Shin: H-hey hold on! Not there! 

Taiga: You guys are so annoying. I’m out of here. 

Minato: We really worked hard today, so you ought to properly unwind… like this! 

Taiga: OWWWWW! You jerk, I think you dislocated my shoulder! 

Minato: Try and rotate it. 

Taiga: O… ohhh! It’s a lot lighter now! 

Yukinojo: Minato… I didn’t know you had a secret move…. 

Kakeru: Hey lil’bro, you’re awfully quiet. Don’t tell me you’re nervous about the party tomorrow? 

Yu: N-no! That’s not it… 

Shin: Yu-kun, there is no need to be nervous! 

Yu: Didn’t I just say I wasn’t nervous! 

Shin: There’s nothing to worry about with the awesome song you made us! 

Yu: Y… yeah you’re right… 

Shin: Tomorrow’s a day we can brighten the worlds of so many people… let’s make it happen!! 

(…..)

Shin: It’s the day of the Christmas Party! Let’s do this… Hey! Why isn’t Taiga here?! 

End of Episode 2.

Continue to Episode 3.

[survivenovascotia]

Episode 5 - they finally swapped us - Austin

I’m taking more of a leadership role on this tribe, trying to make more calls with the challenge. On a smaller tribe it is less risky to do that, and also more risky to go to tribal if people find a reason to target you its easy to get numbers. Dylan especially is a worry for me, in the past he has turned on me for absolutely no reason, so idk how much I can trust him. Dan seems ok, he gave us good intel about the other tribe. Still makes sense to vote him out if we go to tribal though lets not make enemies out of the og tribe just to save one guy.

Tribe swap. Honestly I’m not freakin out abt it bc I’ve got Stephen & Austin who’ve both been pretty good in challenges so. Hopefully I can Michelle my way to the merge Even seems chill he’s just got a russel hantz profile picture which is a lil susp Although I’ll admit I’m a lil sad this is a cooperative challenge bc I really don’t work well cooperatively. Especially when these people are choosing words like CAT and WASHINGTON DC have y’all never played scattergories the object is to get the most random ass answers. We can’t put Unagi that’s way too common, we gotta put UNI, which means sea urchin & is a delicacy. If someone else puts uni I would literally cry I’d be such a clown Xiomara? BITXH have y’all seen Jane the Virgin? Hell no!! We putting Serena spelled with an X. She’s a character in a short story I wrote it’s a real name look it up. Sorry to rant I just can’t believe one of these boys chose Cat. Cat. R u joking

So after 4 straight wins from my tribe they finally swapped us. Dylan, me, eric,and stephen from my og tribe long with dan from the other tribe. I like it and think we are gonna do well together.  Dan told me sunshine said I was trustworthy which I appreciated.  I dont wanna lose any challenges but if we do I feel maybe i should try and save dan? Idk i wanna be a lil more risky then i usually play in other games. Just gotta see what happens but idc to flip for my own game to do better.  

LOCK & MANCALA. LOCK & MANCALA mancala is like the most famous board game WHY did we choose that I said to go with Master Trainer: Pokémon why was that not CHOSEN I hope we lose so I can get voted out & be remembered as this seasons biggest bitch

My tummy is saying Fuck rn. I don't know how this tie breaker is gonna go

So what I am thinking it is going to be like is between Keegan and Coco but like Coco is my number 1 out here rn. Glo says she will protect me and Im trying to see what chips is feeling but I feel even when he says things Im like is this legit? Keegan wants to try working with me. I have to weigh my options but if I vote people from OG Musquodoboit tribe I upset everyone else there, if I vote Keegan, Who knows where on the totem pole I can be with the OG tribe.

It has been brought to my attention that the person I’ve been referring to as ‘even’ is actually dan. ukmmmmmmmmmmm okcay also MICHELLE let’s keep this Queen energy to the merge 😈😈

I think I’m cursed. This will be the fifth tribal council in a row I’m attending. Like how does this even happen? And of course I had to be dumb enough to step up and do the tie breaker which sent us to tribal. At first glance this could very well be the end of my game. Getting swap fucked is becoming a personality trait of mine at this point. However, Heather and I have been messaging and she said she’s going to talk to Chips and see about making a move to keep me in the game. I’m not sure who we’d vote out between Coco and Gloria but honestly I don’t care as long as I stay in the game.

Hosts, Admins and VL. I made a chart that went like 6 layers deep in before it would deadend and I’m like “oh okay it must be at the 6 layer mark”. Nope I got down to 8 layers (T1 was the first) and I feel like it’s either claimed or it’s down that path. In other news, my two biggest obstacles is the OG other tribe -_- me forgetting the other tribe’s name. The second obstacle is Kyle. Kyle thinks he runs the joint and I just play a “Sheeple” game when in reality I’m trying to make small moves to further myself in the game. Kyle and Livingston are close and Kyle, myself and Darcy are tight. Sunshine is the odd one out and a easy boot.

Update since recording, I think Chips is leaning more towards keeping Keegan oof im a swing vote then oof

Maybe I’m just getting massively played right now but I currently have an alliance chat with Heather and Chips and we’re deciding on voting Coco or Glo. And I have Coco asking me if I’d vote for Glo. Maybe I’m being bamboozled but this is actually looking a little bit promising for me staying in the game right now. I don’t want to get my hopes up too much. The last time that did I got annihilated.

Did I just suggest a Chips blindside? I- don't know. I am AHHHH. I am in a bad position next round that's FOR SURE

So unfortunately we are going to tribal. At first I thought Keegan would be an easy vote BUT Chips started playing dirty. He made a chat with Heather&Keegan and tried to form "majority" with them. They were discussing whether to eliminate me or Glo. I'm not having it. Heather and I came up with the plan to blindside Chips because he probably wouldn't see it coming. I kept telling Chips I was SO worried,SO nervous because none is talking to me but it's just all an act. Hopefully we can get rid of either Chips or Keegan tonight and even flush an idol if they use it on Keegan.

So ummm, Operation Chips Gone is under way. I am HELLA nervous! Idk if this is gonna work but I feel HELLA bad.

ok Chips has turned on me saying I am weak link on tribe and wants me voted out with Keegan staying safe, Heather and CoCO are in alliance with me and tipped me off. So our vote is CHIPS. but we all three fear the idol situation. So I may not survive but calling me weak link who beat Chips ass in Scavenger hunt and came from behind to do so lol yeppers Glo beat Chips. Anyways it might be good bye GLO GLO tonight and if so I did my best. That would be end for me I guess. <3 GLO <3

I think if we were on larger tribes and the challenge was different I might have thrown it. Bit as it is tribal only presents three options: a) vote out dan, which is not a big move or anything and is not going to change much. b) save dan, and vote out someone from my og tribe, which would piss off 8 other people I had ground work with, and c) Dan pulls something out of his ass and survives, voting one of us out. So yeah, no good scenarios for my long term game at tribal. However without it I can keep my relationships while also building new bridges with Dan that could help come merge and further.

If Glo is truly the vote tonight, I’m probably going to cry. Not even going to sugar coat it. I’ll be crying. She’s just so pure and so nice and just this incredible person. I’m trying to not let it sway my judgement too much. I’m tearing up just thinking about her leaving. But if Heather and Chips are being honest with me and not conspiring against me they’ve both said they’d vote for Glo. And all I need to do right now is stay in the game. Against all odds, I might just manage to stay in the game in a disasterous 4v1 swap. The biggest downside after this is getting Evan(?) back from Oak Island. I’m praying he’s not close with Heather and Chips or I might not survive another tribal.

So we got swapped onto a tribe of 5... and lost the first immunity challenge on that tribe. Keegan is the obvious vote since he got swapped onto our tribe. I'd rather not. Spent all day lying to Glo telling her I was going to vote him. If for some reason that's not the case and Glo doesn't go, cool. I got gamed. Also, I'm in an alliance chat with Heather and Keegan and lowkey I love it. I want to see this be a final 3 but I'm not going to get ahead of myself.

Conspiracy theory: coco, glo & Keegan voted out chips, heather on the outs. No fucking clue why but it’s the only thing that makes sense. This whole game is so scary I’m like watching blindsides & murdering happening & im just chillin on the sidelines

KEEGAN SURVIVED! I’m so happy for him! That’s all I wanted. Hopefully Keegan and Dan can make merge. I wanna throw the F14 immunity to send home Sunshine but that’s just a thought. I always said my two biggest obstacles were the OG other tribe and Kyle. That’s still true but maybe there’s hope for the first obstacle!

Oh damn, I didn’t see that coming. There are two possible situations here: 1) That Keegan managed to pull two votes in with promises and shit, and 2) That there was a pre-existing alliance against Chips (and others) that I wasn’t aware of. This is worrying, not only did I just lose someone I wanted to work with but it shows I’m not that aware of what’s going on. Not good.

I watched the tribal council. Keegan wasn’t even on the chopping block which is great. Glo seems like a lovely lady and seems easy to bond and manipulate. Great for me 🐍. Our alliance including Dan, with Keegan and his allies can make a strong group and potential majority. I feel like at merge I can play my cards right and secret pull strings.

Chips was voted out which is honestly a big surprise to me but at least I’m still here! Who survived a 4v1 Swap Fucking? This guy!

[daily-dose-of-naruto]

I have depression, and I have no idea if you would even want to do anything to do with this. But I was curious, would you write either headcanons on Shisui, Gaara, and Iruka dealing with a very bad depression episode with their (gender neutral or whichever you are more comfortable doing) S/O? Doesn't matter to me if it is sfw or nsfw, I am just curious how they would handle it, or how you think they would.

Oh Anon, I hope you are feeling better. Depressive episodes are awful, simply awful. If you or anyone else needs someone to talk, we are here. I did them SFW because anything sexual in the middle of a depression bout is a bit squicky for me. Also, I know this is a difficult topic, and I tried to write it as accurate as possible, but, as always, feel free to say if you are uncomfortable.

Written in past tense because it never lasts forever. ~Admin Night

Shisui, Gaara, and Iruka Helping Their S/O During a Bad Depressive Episode

Shisui Uchiha

• His first idea was to rationalize everything. Questions such as Is there anything wrong in your life? Is something making you unhappy? sprouted from his mouth when you admitted having a bad time —slow, gray world, acid saliva, words and movements tangling— with your depression.  Needless to say, that didn’t work. The hand he was holding trembled harder and a pair of eyes looked at him in fear. Although those questions came from true concern, they only hurt more your wound. You didn’t know what was wrong; you didn’t feel happy, you just didn’t feel. There wasn’t a switch to eliminate your mental illness.

• Your reaction was enough for him to comprehend he was wrong. He didn’t understand, so Shisui made his most important task researching how to help. He hovered around you, ten psychiatric books hidden in his bag, another, opened on page 200, in his hand. Before having a plan of action, he accompanied you. If you were sleeping, he monitored your slumber; if you were awake, he talked, he made silly jokes and patiently waited for your replies. In the worst days, when even talking was an arduous task he talked for both. Once he acquired enough information, he started to have a more active role.

• On the worst days, he made sure you were resting enough. Night’s sleep is very important, he had read, as it allows the brain to rest and heal. Shisui put you to bed at nine o’clock. Before sleeping, a warm bath and a hot tea; the bed sheets were changed daily. He asked you to focus on his breathing while caressing your face. When sleep disappeared in the middle of the night, Shisui appeared; his calming hands and constant talk dissolved the terror that loneliness and darkness produces. In the mornings, if you felt even a tiny bit less tired, he took you for walks. His stride small and slow, imitating your tentative steps. His hand around your waist. The cold air entered to your lungs and it felt like breathing again.

• Shisui became the most supporting and patient person in the whole world. He answered to your silence with jokes, to your irritability with love words; he guarded your sleep and cooked delicious meals, even if in your mouth they tasted like ashes.  There was only one thing during a depressive episode that can make him mad: leaving your medication. He understands it has myriads of drawbacks, but it helps you, it keeps you better. If he learns you have quit, he’ll spite you a full speech and almost order you to start taking it again. He is afraid of the withdrawal and how it can hurt you. Shisui would never approve of your quitting without medical supervision.

• Shisui is known for his dark humor: a laugh can be drawn out of every occasion, he has done it after life-threatening missions and does it in your roughest patches. He makes jokes about your depression, a lot of jokes. There are no ill intentions behind his mocking: Shisui is trying to find, both for you and him, new ways of coping with it.

Gaara

• When the bout of depression started, Gaara immediately worried. He loved your smile, the way you talked, your deep interest in certain subjects, and it all disappeared. You seemed tired, sick. His chest tightened every time he saw you lying in bed with that expression he had worn so much before, every time he noticed your food untouched, every time your gaze became glassy and absent. All his duties as Kazekage were put to a halt. He couldn’t concentrate, Gaara needed to be at your side.

• He complied to your every desire. Gaara already had trouble refusing: he loves you too much to upset you in any way; but after looking at you in such a fragile state, he is incapable of saying no. Wanting is not something very common when having a depressive episode. There is no taste, no color, no craving; everything looks the same bland, unappetizing way. He considered every whim, no matter how little, a sign of progress; Gaara would die if that meant you feeling better. However, usually there was only one wish: you wanted to be alone —the warmth that usually surrounded him suddenly scorched, air too dry for two to share —, you asked him to leave. The first times he did. It took Temari and Kankuro to convince him that kind of wishes wouldn’t help your recovery.

• He comprehended what you were feeling. That is what worried Gaara the most. He spent most of his childhood buried in emptiness: sleepless nights full of fear, trembling limbs, a cold that crept to the bones — even with Suna’s hot winds. Now, those sensations only dared to graze him on his worst nights, and he always found the strength to live the next morning. Although he knew you’d have to face most of the fight alone, Gaara wanted to be there. When he had your permission, he liked to run his fingers across your skin and arms and back and cheeks and tummy while muttering praises. He also urged you to speak, to express whatever you felt.

• Gaara was extremely patient. Irritability or lack of responses didn’t bother him. He let you take your time with everything, from recovery to eating. Gaara swallowed minutes of silence before you muttered a response, he sat with you at the table while you ate, ready to wait for hours while you finished or to take the one spoon less-heavy food away from you. He talked if you wanted to, or stayed quiet if you didn’t want noises. He reacted to your scorn with sad eyes and an I love you. He applauded every advance, it didn’t matter how small. Gaara was sure healing would come with tiny steps.

• Gaara accompanied you at night. He is used to the lack of sleep and those nights were the first time he thanked Shukaku for keeping him awake; now, he could stay at your side. The days you were fine with physical contact, he embraced you; Gaara stayed there, feeling your breathing and wishing you sweet dreams, ready to try lulling you back to sleep if you woke up. On those other days, when even your skin felt foreign, he watched over you from the window; at a minuscule sign of insomnia, he moved to the side of your bed, whispering how much he loved you.

Iruka Umino

• At the beginning, Iruka thought cheering you up would be enough. He started tickle fights and took to eat at Ichiraku’s and read your favorite stories and told you funny anecdotes about his students. He made sure to surround you with everything you loved. But it was too late; although you tried to enjoy, everything appeared bland: food was engulfed by the dryness of your mouth; tickles didn’t let you breathe, you knew what he narrated you was hilarious but no laugh scraped your throat. Realizing what you enjoyed before caused no reaction just sank you further.

• It was hard for Iruka to grasp the concept of depression. He should understand how it worked: many shinobi suffered from it; nevertheless, he had never lived it and he tended to tie it with sadness. He wasn’t ready to the physical symptoms. Besides the low mood —closer to emptiness than sadness, to be precise—, there were the head and stomach aches, the lack of motivation, the slow reaction time and the low concentration ability. Iruka didn’t know what to do: he tried taking you to the hospital, thinking it was something else. He tried giving you pills for the different pains and letting you rest at day. Everything with a smile on his face and an optimistic frame, seeking to spread the happiness.  

• Iruka brought your favorite foods every day until you got better. For him, one of the most important steps to help your recovery was making sure you continued eating, it didn’t matter if it was just a bite. He paid Teuchi to make your favorite type of ramen; he offered to feed you himself. Even if you were asleep, he served three big meals a day and gave you small snacks every two hours. When you weren’t capable of eating, he calmed you with a grin and encouragements: “You’ll eat more next time. Don’t worry about it, (Y/N)”

• Iruka tried to make you more active. On the worst days, it was just a short stroll around the house, —windows open and air cleaning the rooms—; but when you felt better, you went outside—sun warming the skin, its rays washing fear away. On your daily walks, Iruka interlaced his fingers with yours, some days, you visited the market, others, you contemplated the training grounds. Many times, his students appeared on the way, asking you about your wellbeing and giving you small trinkets. Once you recovered enough, you went hiking; Iruka carried lunch and sweets in his bag.

• If you took medication, Iruka maintained a rigorous control during the worst episodes. He had a timer and in consequence, never was late to hand you a glass of water and the pill. Didn’t like when you pondered about not taking them or complained about their side-effects; then, he always had the same reaction: he scolded you, then, put on a smile and explained you —like you were a child— the importance of antidepressants. Iruka said it is an illness, and as such it must be treated. He always suggests going to a doctor to control medication if you are having a bad episode, maybe you need to augment the dosage, he argues.