#maybe it's just that Netflix is the problem

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

So here I am again with my gray review/analysis of The Sirens of the Deep. As always, I don't give netflix adaptations of the witcher all the praises, but I can't go without explanations either. I won't put empty critics to light up the fires of already convinced people that this is just crap. Maybe I am a hopeless soul but this is how it works for me 🤷🏽‍♀️.

So here is my short review first and the whole detailed thing under the cut as always.

I enjoyed it more than I thought I would because I rapidly switched my mindset, leaving the straight adaptation behind and embrassing more of the Geralt and Jaskier on an adventure vibe.

So yeah this movie doesn't have the emotional impact of the short story, especially because of the way it ends in A little Sacrifice and because the movie focused on other things than the romance, but for me, it fills some places that needed substance in S1 and gives another layer to Geralt's feelings that was lacking in the main. It also gives me some things to think about Jaskier in a way I didn't anticipate from the series perspective.

So if I take it simply as a rendition of A Little Sacrifice, it is not satisfying as such. But inside S1, it works well and it really pleased me.

Now for some quick sharp critics : Jaskier's songs are far too short. I need Joey Batey's voice in IV 😩. The animation is ok, but I don't like some aspects of low frame rate animations. The movie has inconsistencies in some aspects, and, weirdly, has some noticeable visual continuity issues. It changes a lot of characters and some dynamics which can feel weird, with the book story in head.

But. It explores a part that was only suggested in the og, giving the merpeople a visibility and a place in the story. So the POV about the conflict is not one sided. Merpeople and humans share their part of responsibility, keeping the tradition of grey stories.

Yennefer is barely here but her presence gives a part of what was missing in the series to really feel and understand Geralt's love for her in S1.

The story has changed quite a lot for Essi and Jaskier but it gives some interesting things to think about, if you place it in relation to the main series and not the book. Then - and this is more like in the book here - things reflects on Geralt with a mirroring effect, which I found well done overall.

And the most satisfying thing for me was basically Geralt and Jaskier together, giving something in between to book and the series. The geraskier being actual bros is present in a lot of little things, but didn't play it as intimate as in the book - maybe they were too afraid to slide on a weird angle 😅 - but man at the end 😳, I took a geraskier shower by proxy and I was not ready for that 🤣.

That said. I will give Sirens of the Deep a 7.5/10. It is a good filler to the series and I had a good time. For a pure adaptation of the book point of view, I will give more of a 6/10 as it deviates a lot and misses the emotional part.

Now, I will detail everything and spoil a lot, under the cut. You've been warned.

First thing first.

Everyone is entitled to appreciate a product or not, to have some knowledge of the source material or not, to prefer the games to the books to the series etc. I have read mild to bad receptions to the movie with valid rejections. I have no problem with that.

As always, that's the blind and simply hateful comments I am against. I read things like they dumbed down every female characters so Yennefer would be superior or the opposite classical like Geralt isn't even in the center of this feminist horrible product. I read things like this is stupid that the story was mixed with A Little Mermaid. Or they didn't read the story. They didn't respect the source material and then say the fights were the best part.

To be fair, for Sirens of the Deep, that last statement can be very true considering the angle with which they approached the story ! (You didn't anticipate me saying that right lool). But if you think they didn't respect the source material I wonder how the fights were the best to you 😅.

Anyway, yes they did read and there is still a lot from the story in it. The problem is that this story is attached to strong emotional elements to which most of us have responded reading it. And memory is selective. We kept mostly that and not the rest.

So when the adaptation picks a lot more of the other things, changes what was not very nice, and build something over the little pieces we don't remember that instead of giving us what we hoped, there is deception at the end of the road.

What I want to do here is to be a little bit more objective. Because I did enjoy the movie, but I realise that this is just because my mind switched perspective very early on while I was watching.

Let's begin with the obvious.

Adaptation of an adaptation :

In my opinion : Is this movie the perfect adaptation of A Little Sacrifice ? Hell no. That story broke my heart so bad and I can't forget that. We are not near that with this adaptation. But if you consider it taking place in S1 and having for setup that story, it has its qualities. So of course liberties have been taken. Of course it doesn't reflect all that made A little Sacrifice so good. But at the same time it goes in interesting places and adds some layers that were lacking on Geralt from the series. And that is what I enjoyed a lot.

I have some issues with the critic about the injection of A Little Mermaid in the story, because : A Little Sacrifice IS already an adaptation of The Little Mermaid tale.

It also has elements of the Ys legend attached to it.

This is a melting pot made into a total new story to satisfy the growth of Geralt's character concerning his feelings.

So can we really be mad that the adaptation of the adaptation takes the same references and reinjected them in their own way ? We can but I am not.

As a reminder, The Little Mermaid is a Danish fairy tale and Ys is a french one based on celtic myths. Those two stories have many adaptations through the centuries. And every one of them takes what they want from it and uses the myths like they want. This is for the 100% slavik ref argument...

I am pretty sure everyone that read the short story can make the link with The Little Mermaid. I mean. There is a mermaid. There is a love story. She ends up with legs. But did you remember things about Ys ?

Here is one ref to Ys from the book : “Because they are steps,” Dandelion whispered in awe. “Ooo, they’re steps leading to an underwater city. To the legendary Ys, which was swallowed up by the sea. Have you heard the legend of the city of the chasm, about Ys-Beneath-The-Waves? I shall write such a ballad the competition won’t know what’s hit them. I have to see it up close… Look, there’s some kind of mosaic, something is engraved or carved there… Some kind of writing? Move away, Geralt.”

And here is a direct ref from the movie : The sirens Queen's name is Dahut, who is the main character around this legend. And the place of the royal mermaids in the movie is like a sunken city.

For me, the movie created the merpeople civilisation based on several references like the first one I gave. The short story doesn't show much of the merpeople, except Sh’eenaz and some fishmen. But they clearly took things from the dialogues mostly. Geralt and Jaskier exploring and talking about those creatures and their possible civilisation. They took also from The Little Mermaid, the Disney version, but a slightly more darker tone but not enough. I understand that THIS can feel bad.

But then, I invite you to revisit the Andersen tale. Sure Disney is all sugar and ice caking compare to the og 😅, but, look at the A Little Sacrifice's version and see that it is also not as dark as the original for the part it takes of : the mermaid and the Duke actually love each other and there is a "happy" ending to that part of the story. But you will see also how drastically different this adaptation is from the two others. Because well... Adaptations, especially from old tales, are rarely the replica of the original. Because it depends a lot on the narrator.

Then ask yourself what one wants to tell when they adapt a story ? What are the thematics explored ? Where and when does it fit ? What is the focus and the purpose ?

For me, here, the focus was to make it blend into the series universe, while adapting the mermaid part in a nicer way. Because let's be honest. Buying the fact that Sh’eenaz is actually loving Agloval so she accepts the sacrifice is quite a stretch of imagination lol. To me, the Duke feels more like a zoophile in the end ^^'.

Smoothing Agloval :

This is one of the change that I liked the most in the movie. Because they didn't make him perfect. He is genuine about his feeling but he is selfish too. The og duke is more deported on his father in an actually good way.

Just for a reminder. This is Agloval. “An intelligent race,” Agloval repeated pensively, resting an elbow on the armrest, and his fist on his chin. “An underwater civilisation. Fishlike people living on the seabed. Steps leading to the depths. Geralt, you take me for a bloody gullible duke.” Zelest proposal to kill all the creatures [...]"From what the Witcher says, they are some kind of sea drowners or other sea monsters. There are ways of dealing with drowners. I heard tell that one sorcerer gave some drowners short shrift in Lake Mokva. He poured a small barrel of magical philtre into the water and did for the fuckers. Didn’t leave a trace.’’[...] And Agloval's response to that "Thank you for that excellent suggestion, Zelest. Do you have any more?" And later... "You are mistaken, Miss Daven,” Agloval said calmly. ‘We shall learn whither lead those steps. Further, we shall descend those steps. We shall find out what is on that side of the ocean, if there is anything there at all. And we shall draw from the ocean everything we can. And if not we, then our grandsons will do it, or our grandsons’ grandsons. It is just a matter of time.[...]”

And just after that, when Agloval promises to exploit the sea till nothing is left, Sh’eenaz appears and she has made the sacrifice to bring peace and consume her relation with the Duke.

To him, the "love of his life" isn't even from an intelligent race, and he promised to go where he should not, destroy their habitat for profit because he is upset. (All similarity with anything is unintentional of course 🙄)

In the movie, they moved the centre of the dark part on something else. There is some racist undertone but less present. The merpeople and the humans know each others well and have a status quo situation going on. The start of the conflict for the merpeople is that the humans takes too much from the sea, just for the pearls economy. So the status quo is in balance because they are beginning to starve. So there is the greedy aspect of course from the humans, but the catalyser of the conflict is because the King don't accept the romance between his son and Sh'eenaz. He wants the succession of his lineage assured and this romance goes against it.

He goes great length to break that union, even making an alliance with Melusina who has her own motives to break to merpeople royal family.

The obstacles that Agloval and Sh'eenaz have to overcome makes their relationship truer.

One major change is that the movie reversed the sacrifice. Agloval proves his love and counters his father's actions against the merpeople, becoming the link between the land and sea, changing into a mermaid. The peace is very fragile but the love part is somehow more coherent.

The real problem maybe is that all of that takes almost all the light from the love story that was in the centre of A Little Sacrifice : Geralt and Essi. But I feel that a part of what was only about that in conversations, inner dialogs etc has been used in mirroring narrations.

"Just because you and your accursed lover only have two modes doesn't mean everyone else does"

Essi isn't the only mirror for Geralt's feelings toward Yennefer in this movie. I don't feel this is a bad thing on a strict narration point of view, but from an adaptation eye with this being one of the focal point of people love for the short story, this is a bad faux pas, because it made this part feel more generic.

So here are my analysis of the mirroring things.

They chose to illustrate several iteration of love stories. Each one reflecting on others and mostly Geralt's situation with Yennefer in the end. This is highlight several little things from the main series, like blood family vs chosen/found family and heritage. It also gives something back in between episode 5 and 6 of the main series : how Geralt feels about love in regard of his own situation.

The king and his two "loves"

Agloval is the legitimate heir of the King who tells him that he loved his mother from true love. Zelest is the illegitimate son but he has strangely a strong position in the court. Usually "bastard" are hidden if not killed. We can suppose that he lied, because he lies on a lot of things just to get what he wants.

He tries to convince his son that true love is not enough. And in the end even tell Zelest that he is an error he always wanted to erase.

The King put the interest before the sentiments, and even before the life of his own people. He doesn't care if people dies if he can stop the union of his son with the mermaid.

Melusina and the injustice

The relation of the King of Bremervoord with love is reflected on Melusina with whom he plots. And the sea witch is similar to Yennefer in several aspect. Even Jaskier is jokingly comparing them.

She is powerful, quite angry. She is sterile. Her colour is violet. 😏

She lost her true love against the need of the royal family to have an heir. Things are not really sure about the real love of the mer-king. He seems quite embarrassed. But Melusina wants her true love back even if she has to kill every one for that.

S1 Yennefer is in this kind of destructive path to get what she wants. She doesn't care much if she hurts people in her quest. Even Geralt. They share the passion and the she goes.

Agloval and Sh’eenaz

They have a major issue on communication (well that's no well played with the issues with the use of the merspeak). They are ok when there is only sex between them. But the manipulation of the people they trust renforce the problem to a breakup. In the end this is the action that proves the sincerity of the feelings.

And this reflects on Geralt love relations. He has a hard time communicate with those he loves in general. He doesn't understand why Yennefer keeps abandoning him. There is sex and passion but the rest is silent. And we have Jaskier that hates the sorceress and tries to force him out of this relation because he thinks she is not made for him. I think I have never seen Jaskier slaging off Yennefer as much than in this movie lool

And then when the spark appears between Geralt and Essi, he tries to push for that relation to blossom. The communication in the end is what resolve everything for them.

Which leads to.

Geralt's feelings and Essi

in the books, Geralt's struggles with his place in the world and his feelings are the biggest underlying subject in the short stories.

Geralt has a complexe toward his capacity to feel emotions and be entitled to love or being loved. He thinks of himself as a monster and not deserving those things. And we have a Jaskier in counter telling him he should not depreciate himself and go for it.

Here the approach to those things feels less miserable but he always tries to justify that he is different and not worth it. He acknowledge he has feelings though. His main excuse is : I am a witcher. Aka a killing machine making money hunting monsters and I never knew love in my life.

He has an intense relation with Yennefer but full of turmoils. He doesn't feel enough for her (a shard of ice) and in the series there the accent is more on understanding her and her needs.

When he meets Essi and have this love at first sight experience, he is troubled. Geralt is not feeling good enough to match the complexity of her feelings. And the whole discovery of her personality, the differences in the feelings he experiences for her and Yennefer, leads to touching moments, even emotional ones. We have some good conversations with Jaskier also.

But there is a little something that might have slide off you mind... 🚩

Description of Essi The woman could not have been older than eighteen, and was very slim. Her long, luxuriant hair was the colour of dark gold. They entered as the girl finished the song and thanked the audience for the thunderous applause with a nod of her head, which shook her hair gently.

Yes. Even if this looks like less than 18 but maybe isn't, Essi is way younger than Geralt and there is the possibility that she is not even an full adult. So yeah, there is a innocence and a freshness in her that makes the romance special. But in reality this is kind of creepy. Especially when we have Jaskier being pissed of by their mannerisms and the way they turn around each other without going anywhere who suggests that they fuck to settle it for good.

So...

They decided to age Essi. She is now a mature woman, around the age of Jaskier (as they know each other since childhood in the new headcanon). So she is something like 35/40, placing the story just before The Moutain.

And I say yes ! Thank you ! This is a nice change ! Geralt isn't fucking a teenager. Jaskier isn't pushing for his friend to have sex with a teenager either !

And Essi still got a softness to her, some strong temper too. She is still romantic. She is still infatuated with Geralt.

And those who claim that she is like the women Marie Sues all power that need no men ever, this is not true. Essi is stronger than Jaskier as a child, she is self assured, but Geralt is still her hero here. He saves her life twice. Same thing with Sh’eenaz. She needs others help. This is not because a woman can be brave that she is a Marie Sue or that she eclipses men's valor.

Like in the short story, this love story doesn't work. The reasons are not exactly the same though. Here, Geralt's life and heart are too hard for her and she wants a more normal life : have a family, peace and security.

Note that in S2, this is basically the dream of Yennefer too. Parallels. Parallels...

And note again that Essi tells to Geralt that Jaskier will do what she cannot ! The subtext sent me howling in geraskier there loool.

I was satisfied with their relationship even if we didn't have all the subtleties of Geralt's struggles. But we had more than we had in S1.

What we don't have is the strong emotional connection and the punch in the guts that is the real ending. I don't feel like this was necessary in this movie, it would probably have fallen flat in the circumstances. But I wish that somehow this tragedy is adressed in a way or another. Whump the bard lool.

Geralt and Jaskier

This was the most rewarding thing of the whole show for me. Just having Geralt actually caring for Jaskier and showing it was everything. Just the two of them being buddies, I could have that forever.

Jaskier is a little bit too buffoon because he is used 90% as the comic relief, but he lands right in the middle in his charactisation between the books and the series.

The geraskier subtext is running wild in my mind. Geralt is like "you annoying little shit" but then his reaction to Zelest is so "you touch him I kill you". Jaskier seems less infatuated but then you have some parallels with Essi's feelings that are just too straight : "your bard loves you and he is the one you need".

I won't say much more here or I will just enumerate very frame they share on screen because I loved them together being friends !!

The big character changes and other additions

i have already mentioned a lot of changes so i won't repeat too much here. This is more so comments I aant to make on the changes from the short story.

Agloval, Jaskier and Essi are those who have changed the most from the og and new connections have been made to change the dynamics with other secondary characters that have been changed also or added. I understand this could feel odd with the short story in head.

I spoke already a lot about Agloval and the vhanges around him, but i want to point another change that is linked to him and Jaskier now.

Zelest.

He was the supervisor of the pearl fishing. Here he is the king's illegitimate son, military counsellor and Jaskier's bully from the past. He's got a bit of a Faramir in some aspects here, searching for the approval of his father. He is also trying to be a better son than the legitimate one. He has a need to belong. He was channeling his of antipathic and violent persona for a while and I like the nuances it added to some characters.

Zelest leads to Jaskier and his new headcanon - which is strangely plausible, in the series verse and for some part compatible with the book character. Not for everything but still. So I was : ok I am listening here.

He leads also to a little bit of bi Jaskier. I mean you can't convince me that if he wasn't killed by the Kraken they wouldn't have made up in the end loool.

But his change of heart doesn't feel right. It just had drama to the situation of the kingdom in the end as the kind lost his two sons. But there are not much of an emotional impact.

Melusina and Sh’eenaz

Melusina is clearly a disney character here. She is half Ursula and Scar and she even has a muscial number like in the Disney adaptation (which is both weird and nice). Weird because this isn't the kind of things you can think of in a witcher rendition. The music isn't used as a number, it has a reality in the world. But honestly I like the song lol. So I put that in my little category of, I keep that to the side.

Her character as the grand villain why not. But the use of the kraken is both wrong to the short story and feels to much like Disney. Basically it is mentioned in the story but this isn't what caused the deaths of the fisher in their conclusion.

“And the monster that killed the pearl divers? You have no idea what it was?” “A kraken, perhaps?” “No. A kraken would have wrecked the boat, but it was intact. And, as they said, totally full of blood,” Little Eye swallowed and visibly paled. “Don’t think I’m being a know-all. I grew up by the sea, and I’ve seen a few things.”

Sh’eenaz has a lot more characteristics that in the book. She is can use magic apparently and her mother too. Well considering auty Melusina is a witch, why not. This this for me participates more to the massive fight at the end than to a real improvement of the character. I appreciated that we learn a bit about the merpeople through her though.

The political and economical situation :

They developed that part beyond the witcher story, giving the merpeople an existence. What differs the most here is that the humans are well aware of the existence of a sea civilization and that there are already some links between them with a status quo that is falling apart.

In the original story we just understand that the pearl divers are going too far and perturbs the merpeople. And Agloval is willing to destroy the environment out of anger and greed. Sh’eenaz makes the sacrifice that stabilises the situation but we don't have much of what is happening under the sea. So with all the addition in the movie, we have a grayer plot. Sure we have the real monsters are the humans. But here we also have a monster monster. And both monsters plotted together. Which is an interesting twist.

Merspeak :

One thing that was not well handled in the relation between the merpeople and land people was the merspeak. This is one of the least coherent things of the whole story.

In the book, Agloval needs Geralt and Geralt is helped by Essi at some to communicate with Sh’eenaz. And Sh’eenaz doesn't seem to understand common human language too. Everything is handled in English (or whatever language you read the story in). But here they actually created the language. The ideas are not bad but this is delivered very badly.

It falls apart in several moments.

First, as the sea and the land have a status quo, it is implied that both species communicate. We have a Vodnik speaking common language with Geralt and we have Agloval and Sh’eenaz arguing in their own language but apparently understanding each other. So yeah, nothing is coherent there and it is a big miss.

The war :

This is the part of the story that isn't featured at all in the book. This is a menace. But here they went full on it. This is one of the aspects that I wasn't really on board with. It has some cool elements but here if you want weird deviations on the source material, there are plenty.

First and this is not the worst to me because they didn't go too far with it and it was fun : Jaskier with a sword. This makes no sense and even he says basically wtf am I supposed to do ? But he mostly blocks the attacks and lets someone else kill the monsters. So ok, why not. Let the bard have some moments of fun.

One canon thing though: Jaskier headbutt 😅.

Now my main problem with the fights concerns Geralt.

I have switched off my brain to enjoy it because this was too much 🤣. Geralt is a mutant with more strength than a human and high speed reflexes but he doesn't fly or do flips like an olympic gymnast - even game geralt isn't that flexible 😅 - or break metal chains by flexing lol. I had circus music in my head during all the fights hehehe.

But more importantly what the fuck was that with the magic signs and the potions. The potions were badly used and the signs were like full magic.

If you loved the fights, good on you, but don't come to tell me they were canon 😅.

But you know what ? They went full gear for the spectacular, so let's enjoy it for what it is. No more no less.

One last thing I want to talk about and that I found well done, because it links book Jaskier to the series one and it highlights one big things about the witcher books in general.

Jaskier lies - The unreliable narrator

This is one big thing of the books. The story is given to us through the lens of several unreliable narrator and we discover in the later books that Jaskier could be the main for the Continent history.

In the books it is stated that Jaskier lies a lot especially in his art. Series Jaskier is set up also like that but this is not really a big deal.

In this movie, they threw Jaskier right in the center of the unreliable narrator.

From Essi and Geralt conversation on the balcony at the party, we have a right in the middle book and series Jaskier vibe. He exaggerated Geralt achievements, changed the events, but we understand the truth beneath.

But we learn that our boy lied about his past and built himself a story to feat his persona. And we know Jaskier lies and embellishes things a lot. In this story, they emphasise on that : he lied about his past. He lies in his songs. And the next thing he does : He sings about erasing things he doesn't like. (My story).

We have a glimpse of him being bullied, but we also have Essi saying to Geralt that he went through a lot. Jaskier wanted to erase the pain is a strong feature. This could be a strong way to end in S5, for his character (and Ciri's too).

The ending of A Little Sacrifice is him muting forever the fact that Essi died and the story attached to her. Jaskier is very vocal and noisy, but he is silent when he is in real pain.

And there is actually one thing in A little Sacrifice that can concur with the fact that he could be not an Oxenfurt academy's elite member as he claims : the fact that he mocks Yennefer's explanation of the tides, while he is supposed to have mastered Astronomy too (one of the 7 liberal arts).

“I think you’re a fool. Yennefer once told me that the moon causes the tides.”

Dandelion cackled.

“What bloody rubbish! What does the moon have to do with the sea? Only dogs howl at the moon. She was having you on, Geralt, that little liar of yours, she put one over on you. Not for the first time either, I’d say.”

I am not fully on board on the new headcanon but I like the narrator aspect.

Conclusion

What was missing (or not) :

The pearl for Essi. The tragic ending. Because these were iconic. But in this version I am not sure this was really necessary to have that. I wish that at some point we have a mention of Essi's death and how it affects Jaskier…

The og geraskier moments. But… I mean… if we had them as they were written, the fandom would have explode in rainbows 😅. Let's take only Geralt and Jaskier sharing a bed, talking about love 🤭. But if you read between the lines, in the end, you have your full geraskier in the feels loool.

What I liked :

For me that was the strong point from all the characterisations especially Geralt. This version of Geralt felt more Geralt to me that before in the series. From his self loathing that is finally highlighted, even if it is by proxy, to his fragility towards his feelings. I needed that part of Geralt. We also have the illustration of his moral code, sense of justice and need to protect. All in one go. And it feels right.

His relationship with Jaskier feels more normal also. I was dying to have a buddies on the road feeling from them. I mean we finally had that in S3 but in this movie it feels like a salve healing S1 relationship between them.

Having Geralt being awkward at flirting is also efreshing. I like that he expresses his feelings a bit more, says how different he thinks he is and his views on humans. Love was surviving. In his experience he found it hard to trust humans. He doesn't want to fall in love with short span living humans. He feels he needs somebody more like him. Hence Yennefer.

Note for some of the angry reviews :

Geralt and Jaskier's deal for money. Geralt and Essi knowing the merspeak. Jaskier pushing for Geralt to be with Essi and drop Yennefer. Essi and Geralt having sex. If that was too predictable for some or easy trick, well I am sorry for you, this was in the short story 😅.

So yeah this Geralt is just at the junction of series Geralt and book Geralt, and that is something I greatly appreciated to most I think.

Then the absence of oversexualisation of the mermaid and overall the less pervert eye, if I can say that like that. Maybe this is not something that translate to men as much, but as much as I love A Little Sacrifice - this is my favorite short story - this is quite uncomfortable to read as a woman sometimes. Well Geralt's gaze on women is often incomfortable to be fair lool. So yeah, having less of that and more connection was a plus for me.

The changes on Agloval character and the mermaid. Their love story feels right.

Essi and Jaskier singing together, even though the set up is not the same. But it was too short 🥲. But I guess this is because I miss Joey a lot.

What I didn't like :

The fights. I won't repeat what I already said. The physicality was way over the top. But at least it was fun to watch.

Less fights and maybe we could have more of emotional build up for Essi and Geralt. A part of me believes this is the response to “the witcher is about the path and killing monster discours that runs a lot” that pushed the story in that direction. Who knows ? But if that's so, just 😩.

The chaos with the use of the merspeak. This was really confusing and narratively weird.

So :

If you take this as an pure adaptation of the short story, there are some miss points that are hard to get over. It didn't have most of the iconic moments and vibe. Nor the emotional impact.

If you take this like a filler in S1. This is really enjoyable. It connects a lot of things and gives more layers to both Geralt and Jaskier.

[darkdragon768]

I'm so fucking tired of Major Character Deaths just for the Character to come back to life at the very end of the story because of uwu happy endings uwu

[songtwo]

ppl r making fun of her on Twitter but i know what she means there really is no one making movies like nick zedd or john waters or gregg araki did bc true indie filmmaking is dead

[sora-of-uranus]

The removal of the sexism pisses me off not because it just affects Sokkas character but because it has ruined almost every woman in the show.

Suki takes off her make up often, as if it isn't a large part of her cultural identity and personality, as if her being a kyoshi warior and her destinctly femenine clothes are something to be ashamed off or that hinders her. Because its only her that gets this treat amongst the warriors, and shes the only main kyoshi warrior for the audience.

Yue's entire character is removed. It is replaced with what I think is meant to be a sympathetic princess to the people, she joins the nans in the kitchens and make deserts for the children. Like a disney princess whose quirky and silly and held back only by her title of a princess. Gone is the battle between her desire to help and her duty to be a water tribe ideal woman. Gone is her realising that the best way to help her people is to not be an ideal woman, but to take action and to do what no one else can, to become one with the moon so that she can forever help not just her tribe but the entire world. It is depressing, it is deep, it isn't fair to her but when has the world ever been fair?

Katara aswell. Her bending is forever unlocked by men (Aang and Jet), her defiance of authority is lessened and her naievety is also changed. A lot of her motherhood role is also completlty gone since they have changed Sokkas sexism into elder brother smothering. Her fight with Paku holds a lot less significance since she has no RAGE behind her. No rage that has built for YEARS as time and time again people have said no to her face for being a woman, for being weak, for not being enough simply because of who she is. that doesn't exist for her anymore because the water tribes are just...nice. We see one bad person in the water tribe and its Hadoka and he's mean to sokka! Kataras rage comes from Paku saying no to her, and whilst thats swell, it changes her entire "I'm a master now" moment into just...lame girlbossery. Thats kinda how the entire last 2 episodes felt like for her character. A common girlboss character without the emotional depth to make it femenism.

I think my main issue is that both shows set themselves up as being femenist by nature. The og show wanted to tackle issues with sexism, using book 1 as its main demonstration with it, but the theme still follows throughout the narative. netflix's show outright said they were removing the sexist elements. When you place youself onto that pedastal, any sexist writing you have becomes emphasised.

The og show undoubtably has sexist moments! Irohs comments to June are the most obvious to me, a long with a couple comments from Zuko later on. You can certainly argue that the extreme lack of GOOD mother figures is an issue (Kat and Sokkas mother is dead, Zukos is 'dead', and Toph is awful and rather quite compared to her father). Theres other examples, although currently my brain cannot think of any since I don't often write indepth critisms.

The live actions main point of sexism is its female main characters. we literally meet Yue in the kitchen! Women can be in kitchens but that is certainly a choice! Theres this strange hatred for make up aswell, yes with Suki but also with Sokka. His war paint is removed. Its like saying make up cannot be worn by strong fighters which is rather sexist. Speaking off: not putting Sokka in the kyoshi outfit is just...dumb? If you want to show him learning the style, having him wear the outfit. Its an aspect of the style and philosophy. A man wearing make up and a skirt doesn't emasculate him yet the show makes it feel that way with the refusal to do it. "Oh but then you'd have Sokka and Suki kiss in the kyoshi outfits" who cares. "it will look like lesbians" it won't. Even if it did, who cares? you can't be 'femenist' and anti-lesbian. Putting Sokka in the Kyoshi outfit, having him respect it, is just as important as having Aang learn the other elements, or Iroh creating lightning redirection. Why? because it shows a respect of culture, and how you can blend that into your own way of thinking. It's cultural extchanged based on respect.

When you name yourself femenist, yet have explicitly sexist writing, your GOING to get dogpiled with critism based on that 'femenist' msg.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Why did they do that tho

Every once in a while I think about how in the books, Geralt does anything and everything for his Dandelion, and goes murdercrazy when Dandelion is threatened/captured, and Geralt loves and looks after his Dandelion at every point And the netflix show made Geralt hate him, ignore him, and barely acknowledge his pain after getting TORTURED I just- YOU DON'T NEED TO BE AN ASSHOLE TO YOUR FRIENDS TO BE A 'BADASS HERO'!

In my heart they are happy and in love and geralt's not a cunt <3 I am a okay with the the half of the fandom that is firm on them just being friends, hell yeah they're friends! Amazing ones, at that! But you know who we all hate? The people who agree with TWN!Geralt's treatment of his bard... For shame... For shame....

[alexjcrowley]

You know what? Fuck it. Four Rooms is fun as hell, yes, even the first two parts that aren't written and directed by two great directors people are afraid to criticise. I don't care what the critics say, I had a lot of fun watching it.

[iminaworldofpureimagination]

maybe its cause im in my 30s but peoples reactions to that ian ousley kid .. Kinda.. Creep me out tbh..

[hirookouji]

sorry for this seemingly out of nowhere attachment to knb i just relate to the whole being overly emotional about relationships that were made and fell apart when u were younger but still having to deal with it later in life thing it has going on

[all-inmoderation]

it’s so weird bc in season 2 I’m so convinced that mal and alina LOVE each other, but I’m not very convinced of their ROMANCE, yaknow ?

I think it may be because Ben Barnes is too good of an actor lmfao like he rlly sells his chemistry and sensuality with every single character whereas malina/their actors just,,, do not (IN MY OPINION). This is probably just a me problem though, and maybe I’ll change my mind on a rewatch.

I did feel a lot of spark and fiery passion between them in their argument in episode five tho! and in the more emotional moments like when mal says “you are the whole of my heart”- I guess I just wanted a liiiiiiittle more in the moments in between.

[heavenbarnes]

in an alternate universe, you meet older bf!simon through a friend- well, a friend’s brother.

your friend’s brother, johnny. he overhears you whinging to his sister about how fucking hard it is to find a place to live. so he tells you about this guy he serves with.

‘L.t’ he calls him.

since he and L.t are on deployment so often, there’s a tidy re-purposed council flat that’s often empty. johnny says he’ll chat L.t about your predicament and see what he thinks.

L.t allows you to live in his home- problem is he’s leaving on deployment literally tomorrow so you have to exchange agreements by text.

you’ve got money going into his account, some basic agreements about no parties, no partners, no smoking, and no mucking about.

L.t gives the key to johnny, who gives it to his sister, who gives it to you- opening the door to an almost pristine little home. not a thing out of place.

military precision.

so you move in and you’re shocked to find more than a flat pillow and plaid duvet cover. there’s 3-in-1 in the shower but easily replaced with your own products.

the pantry and fridge are bare but soon filled with your favourites. your undies are drying over the dining chairs and your blanket is draped across the couch.

you’ve got your own profile on the netflix and your toothbrush is in the holder. you’ve done what you were told.

“make yourself at home”

so much so that you almost forget deployment will end at some point, hard to remember when you don’t even have the faintest idea when that’ll be.

johnny said it could be weeks, maybe months. he didn’t tell you that it could be at any moment.

you think you hear the door in the deep of your sleep but your brain reassures you it’s in the back of your dream- you don’t even wake.

it’s actually the weight dropping beside you on the mattress and shuffling up to your back that gets you. it’s a miracle you don’t scream.

L.t lands a rough hand on your back, something about “calm down, s’only me”

only him? he who’s name you don’t even know?

as if he can read your mind, he’s following up with a grumbled “simon”

simon ‘sans-last name.’

before his breathing begins to even out.

your heart is beating out your chest- perfect stranger climbing into bed with you?

the voice in your head that always wants you to be polite reminds you that this is actually his house, after all.

he was also kind enough to let you stay, charging a rent way below going rate.

he had just been away serving this country, duty to protect and all.

and johnny knows him, vouched for him- sure johnny can be a bit of a perv but he’s harmless.

simon must be too, right?

you decide to settle back under the duvet, telling yourself it’s you that’s being weird. you need to be more grateful!

mans tired, if he wasn’t absolutely shattered he would’ve taken the couch.

right?

you’re almost entirely convinced until you feel a strong arm loop around your waist, pulling you back into something unbelievably hard.

harmless.

right.

[amputatedhearts]

okay gathered from the tags on this post:

yes he has talked about having a lot of streaming services in an episode. but he was struggling with money. and I wouldn't consider it the "streaming era" back then since streaming has evolved so much since then, with way too many services to count, increasing prices, ads, etc

also: he was using Jeff's netflix at one point showing that maybe he didn't wanna pay for it.

and he absolutely would pirate movies, he had an burned dvds in his bag that the secret service found when Joe Biden came to the school.

so my conclusion is: if he had the means (money) to, he would have had a lot of streaming services at one point. but as the quality diminished and the prices went up, he gave up on streaming (save for maybe one or two with original shows he really likes + vpns) and probably torrents/pirates everything else that he doesn't purchase on dvd which he already had a huge collection of and is further expanding it.

if abed were in the streaming era would he be the type of guy to have every streaming service or would he be the type of guy to stay away from streaming at all costs. there is no in between option

[5sospenguinqueen]

Needle Little Love | Charles Leclerc x Ferrari! Reader

Summary: When you’re announced as Ferrari’s newest driver, fans love the budding friendship between you and Charles, especially when he adopts your penchant for crochet puns. Netflix expose that there’s more to the story. 

Warnings: Slightly suggestive content. Swearing. Fluff

2023-2024 timeline. Pinterest pics.

Requested: Yes by @rebelwrites. Find the full request here

A/N: There's a blurb halfway down

F1 Masterlist

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

its_ynln just posted

liked by charles_leclerc, olliebearman and others 

its_ynln chronicles of yarnia 🧶

1,609 comments 

francisca.cgomes okay but i’m gonna need that top in all colours please

→ its_ynln let me get your measurements at zandvoort 

user1 what is charles doing here

→ its_ynln i’m plagued by his brother and we both like to go zoom?

→ arthur_leclerc just for that, i’m not coming to your celebration party in zandvoort. i’ll go party with charles

→ its_ynln don’t want you there anyway 

→ oscarpiastri @/charles_leclerc the girls are fighting again 

→ user2 i love how they’re just assuming she’ll win 

lilymhe i love my pillow! thank you thank you thank you 🌼

→ alex_albon she literally carries it everywhere and i’m not allowed to touch it 

user3 we love how racing is just her side hobby 

jackdoohan day 116 of asking you to make me my own dinosaur 

→ its_ynln i can make a voodoo doll of you if you don’t stop pestering me

→ jackdoohan i’ll be glad when you’re gone

→ user4 gone where! 

→ user5 well she is currently leading the f2 championship, and they won't let her back 

user6 drop the patterns please, babe

user7 i love how half the people here are because of her crochet, not because she drives

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

f1 just posted

liked by ferraridriveracademy, oscarpiastri and others 

f1 welcome to the team @/its_ynln we look forward to seeing you on the grid in the new year 

5,533 comments

its_ynln what can i say, it’s knot just another hobby

→ user8 babe, stick to crochet. stand up comedy is not for you 

ferraridriveracademy take good care of our girl 

→ scuderiaferrari thanks for letting us have her

charles_leclerc welcome to the team 😄

→ user9 why is this the blandest welcome ever 

→ user10 someone feels threatened

→ arthur_leclerc *trying to contain his excitement

francisca.cgomes this is the best news ever. will you teach me to crochet?

→ pierregasly because stealing my girlfriend over summer break wasn’t bad enough?

→ its_ynln are you still salty that she let me touch her boobs

→ user11 i know it was to measure her chest for clothes but still.. 

scuderiaferrari are we going to have to pr train you? @/its_ynln

→ liamlawson30 yes

→ alex_albon yes 

→ jackdoohan yes

→ its_ynln why am i being attacked by twice the amount of people now? 

arthur_leclerc thank god she’s not my problem anymore 

→ its_ynln i’ll always be your problem, little leclerc 

→ oscarpiastri oh fuck, she’s my problem now

charles_leclerc just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, pierregasly and others  

charles_leclerc winter break spent somewhere sunny  

2,316 comments

scuderiaferrari come back, we miss you 

user1 um, whose hand is he reaching for in that first pic 

→ user2 idk but we should be saying thank you for dressing him in that shirt 

its_ynln is your skin ferrari red yet 

→ charles_leclerc no, i keep getting slathered in sun cream :(

→ arthur_leclerc factor 50? 

→ user3 i love that she’s bullying him before she’s even been his teammate on track

user4 this shirt looks similar to one yn posted a few weeks ago??

→ user5 and the hat!!

→ user6 omg how cute would it be if charles was asking her to crochet him some clothes 

→ user7 we love a supportive teammate

landonorris rocking the bucket hat, mate. think i can get one in papaya? 

→ charles_leclerc i’ll hook you up

oscarpiastri i miss you, dad

→ its_ynln i’m not babysitting next year. just putting that out there ahead of time 

→ charles_leclerc not even if i ask nicely?

→ its_ynln maybe if you let me win

→ charles_leclerc 🤔🤨

user8 why are we skipping past the sneaky soft launch?

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

2024

“You know, we both have driver’s rooms for this sort of thing,” you breathed, giggling when Charles’ facial hair tickled your neck. 

His mouth sucked gently on the pulse point thrumming beneath his tongue, tracing kisses from your ear down to your collarbone. The stack of worn tyres cushioned your back as he pressed your harder against them when you reached around to pinch his backside. 

“Oi, I’m talking to you.” 

“I’m sorry, mon ange, but you looked so good when you were giving that interview. And you kept laughing-”

“Oh, so it’s not that I’m so irresistible that you couldn't wait until we were safely in the garage. It’s that you were jealous.” You raised an eyebrow at him, unable to fight the smile at his rougish grin. 

“You are irresistible,” he murmured, hands snaking around your waist to pull you flush against him. “Why else would I be making out with you in an alley behind the motorhome?”

“Because you’re a horndog.” 

You and Charles had been dating for the past year, having met after he caught you winding up his younger brother one race weekend. Ferrari had been eyeing you up all year, asking the Monagesque what he thought of you, prompting him to pay closer attention. Prior to you signing your contract, you’d had to disclose your relationship to Fred Vasseur. Whilst the senior members of the team were aware of your more-than-teammates status, the majority of the paddock were in the dark. Both of you wished to keep the relationship under wraps until your rookie year in F1 had passed, reducing speculation that Charles was the only reason you got your seat. Sneaking around the motorhome was a lot safer than making out behind tyre stacks, but Charles didn’t care at this moment in time. 

“You going to be nice and let me win today?” He teased, nibbling at your lower lip. 

“I think you mean, am I going to let you massage my feet after I win? I won here last year.”

“Yes, yes, bow down to you.”

“Well, I do like you on your knees.” 

Grinning, Charles captured your lips with his once more. Tongue swiping against your bottom lip, he groaned against you when your tongue met his. Hands snaking into his hair, you tugged gently on the soft strands, enjoying the whimper you pulled from his lips. He tilted his hips, pressing himself against you. 

“The things you do to me.”

A loud cough - more of a throat clearing - tore the two of you apart. Wide eyed and panting, you both turned in horror to look at the misfortune person who stumbled across you. Fred Vasseur stood at the end of the alleyway, shaking his head at his two drivers. It was bad enough watching them make heart eyes at each other during data reviews but this. Behind him stood a cameraman and a mic guy, mouths agape at their luck. Drive to Survive would be flooded with viewers once they teased this. Breaking News: Ferrari drivers caught locking lips in secret tryst. 

“I’ve got Netflix following me around today.” Fred said bluntly, staring you both down. 

“Oh crap.”

“Yeah.” 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

next day

charles_leclerc just posted

liked by its_ynln, arthur_leclerc and others

charles_leclerc you could say we’re a close knit bunch

4,416 comments

its_ynln i fell for you hook, yarn and stitcher 

user8 not charles adopting her crochet puns 

jackdoohan so he gets a toothless keychain and i still don’t get my dinosaur? 

→ liamlawson30 that’s because he’s sleeping with her

→ jackdoohan if that’s the price...

scuderiaferrari finally. we were getting sick and tired of archiving all the pics we took of you both being cute. now we can post! 

→ arthur_leclerc please don’t. it’s bad enough seeing it in person for the past two years. i don’t want it on my timeline

→ user9 two years! they’ve been together two years! 

alex_albon can’t believe you posted a photo of her in a nice dress and didn't even give her photo creds

→ its_ynln he’s intimidated by my raw talent 

→ oscarpiastri i watched you flip over the handles of your bike the other day 

→ its_ynln raw talent

→ charlesleclerc @/its_ynln when was this? why didn’t you tell me? are you okay? 

georgrussell63 did she beat you?

→ charles_leclerc i let her win

→ landonorris yeah, you’ve been saying that all season, mate

→ its_ynln you got a nice consolation price out of it tho

→ arthur_leclerc ew!

user10 i love that charles has posted this and yn hasn’t mentioned anything about him lol 

→ user11 her entire insta is the two sides of her personality; car and yarn. can't have a man ruining the aesthetic

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

A huge thank you to @rebelwrites for the request. I hope this lives up to expectations

Requests for F1 smau's are open. You can see who I write for on my Masterlist :)

[pucksandpower]

Your Friend Steve

Max Verstappen x Reader

Summary: it’s finally me and you, and you and me … just us, and your friend Charles

r/relationshipadvice

u/yourusername · 9h

My boyfriend (26M) and I (22F) cannot get a second alone!

The two of us have been together for a few years now. We met through mutual friends and really hit it off. He’s caring, thoughtful, and we have the best time together.

The issue is ... his best friend (26M) is ALWAYS around. And I mean always. We’ll be out to dinner and bestie will show up and pull up a chair. We’ll be cuddling on the couch watching Netflix and he’ll let himself in with the spare key and wedge between us. I swear this guy is like an overeager puppy sometimes.

The other day I came home with my boyfriend and bestie was there ... sleeping on MY side of the bed because he “got lonely” at his place. And don’t get me started on trying to plan a vacation for just the two of us. Without fail, bestie always finds out where we are and shows up.

I’m happy they’re so close and I’d never want to get between them or ask my boyfriend to pick. But his best friend is starting to feel like a third wheel in our relationship. I jokingly said to my boyfriend that at this rate, bestie will be part of our engagement and marriage too!

I could really use some outside advice. How do I kindly set some boundaries with my boyfriend’s overly-attached best friend? I want all of us to still be friends but the constant third-wheeling is getting to be a bit much.

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u/relationshipguru123 · 8h

Wow, this sounds really annoying and awkward! Hate to say it but your boyfriend needs to step up and set some better boundaries with his friend. As close as they may be, it’s not ok for him to let his friend crash your alone time constantly. It’s disrespectful to you and your relationship. If your bf won’t address it, you’ll have to be the “bad guy” and talk to the friend directly to give him a reality check.

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u/NeedMoreSpace · 7h

I feel you, OP! My sister deals with this with her husband’s best friend too. They even joked that the friend would be IN the delivery room when they have kids one day 😳 She finally sat down with her husband and told him that while she cares about the friend, she needs some lines drawn for their marriage’s sake. Maybe suggest setting one or two date nights a week that are just for you two? And no dropping in unannounced! Compromise is key.

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u/BFFboundaries · 5h

This behavior would drive me CRAZY! You need to put your foot down with your bf and tell him his friend’s constant presence is affecting your relationship. Then talk to the friend together to make it clear you just need some alone time as a couple sometimes. If they don’t respect reasonable space, it will breed resentment.

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r/relationships

u/DutchLion · 5h

Help! My best friend (26M) is cockblocking me without even realizing it!

I (26M) have been together with my girlfriend (22F) for a few years. She’s awesome — fun, hilarious, and crazy sexy. She puts up with my quirks and even likes watching sports with me. Absolute keeper!

The problem is, my best friend has NO boundaries. I love him like a brother but he has zero concept of personal space or alone time.

Just last night, my girl and I were enjoying some long overdue freaky time together, when who bursts through the bedroom door unannounced? Yep, my best friend. Turns out he “accidentally” made copies of my keys ages ago.

Before I can react, he’s jumped onto the bed between us asking what we’re up to. My girlfriend was mortified and hurried to cover up. There went the mood for the rest of the night thanks to Captain Cockblock!

That’s just the latest in a long string of intrusions. Double dates, surprise sleepovers in OUR bed, you name it. I’m going to have to lock down the apartment Fort Knox style to get any intimacy!

Don’t get me wrong, I would take a bullet for my best friend. But how do I politely tell him that constant third-wheeling is killing my game and giving me the most painful blue balls known to man? Is there a tactful way to set some boundaries so we BOTH stay sane and satisfied?

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u/CantUnseeThat · 4h

Dude, I felt awkward just READING this! Major props to your girlfriend for being so chill. You gotta have a talk with your boy and set some hard lines. A real best friend would respect that your relationship needs privacy too.

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u/Locks4aReason · 3h

Your friend needs better boundaries yesterday. Sit him down, tell him you get he’s lonely but he can’t just walk in whenever, especially when sexy times are happening! Maybe suggest setting him up on some dates so he finds fulfillments elsewhere.

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u/needabroboundary · 3h

As much as you love your best friend, your personal life with your lady should be a priority over letting him run wild! Have a man-to-man talk and make it clear you just need some couple time a few days a week. Offer to schedule some designated bro time to keep that bond too. Gotta compromise.

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u/needspace321 · 2h

Don’t feel bad about setting some hard boundaries, even if it bruises his ego at first. True friends will understand. Explain you just need some regular alone time with your gf. Offer a standing weekly bro night to keep the friendship intact too. You need to have that balance!

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r/AmItheAsshole

u/PrinceOfMonaco · 3h

AITA for wanting to spend time with my best friend and his girlfriend?

Some background — my friend (let’s call him M) and I go way back to childhood. We’re basically as close as brothers. A few years ago he started dating his now serious girlfriend (we’ll call her Y).

Initially, I’ll admit I was worried M would drift away and our bromance would fade. But much to my delight, Y is awesome! She likes the same sports, laughs at my jokes, and comes to watch our competitions. Honestly it feels like I gained a sister!

Naturally, the three of us started hanging out constantly. I know me and M have always valued bro time together. But now Y joins our gaming sessions, I ride along on their date nights often, and I will even crash in their guest room after late nights! It’s been pretty great.

Or so I thought? Lately I’ve noticed them acting strange and tense around me. They barely react when I barge into their room or surprise them by their cars after work. Sometimes they pretend to be “busy” if I try making plans last minute.

I can’t figure out why though? Just the other day, I popped by to say hi only to have M rather sternly tell me I should “call before visiting from now on.” And I could swear I heard Y whisper about needing “boundaries” … whatever that means!

I’m starting to feel hurt they suddenly seem fed up with me! AITA here? Am I missing something? Someone help me decode these mixed signals!

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u/needboundaries101 · 3h

YTA. I know you value your friendship but your total lack of boundaries is overbearing. Your friend is trying to set reasonable limits without damaging the friendship but you’re oblivious to all hints. Surprising them and inviting yourself along all the time is inconsiderate. Give them space!

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u/respectrelationships · 3h

Soft YTA. I get you cherish the bromance and her friendship too. But constantly crashing date nights, unannounced visits, etc is cockblocking to the max! They likely feel too awkward to bluntly tell you that they need alone time too sometimes. Tone down the clinginess before you do permanent damage!

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u/flying_solo · 2h

NAH but only because you seem genuinely unaware your behavior is an issue! Most people would have picked up on the hints by now. You should DEFINITELY be calling ahead before visits or tagging along to closed plans. Give them a chance to say no thanks. Gotta let your bro spread his wings too.

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u/threesacrowd · 2h

YTA. You would lose your mind if your best friend was this invasive during your dates! When they make excuses or leave early, that’s NOT an invitation to join them unasked and uninvited next time! They’re just too polite to be harsh so I’ll spell it out — you have to give them personal alone time without taking offense.

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charles_leclerc

Liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, and 1,273,948 others

charles_leclerc happy third anniversary to my favorite couple ❤️

View all 3,085 comments

maxverstappen1 thanks, mate!

charles_leclerc i’m going to pick up some dinner from that italian place we all like and i should be at your place in around 20 minutes

yourusername we really appreciate that, charlie. but you know … it’s our anniversary and we would like to celebrate alone

charles_leclerc i totally understand! that’s why i’m taking the food to go so we can celebrate alone with just the three of us

maxverstappen1 yeah but we want to ✨celebrate✨ you get me?

charles_leclerc you want me to stop and buy some sparklers?

yourusername what we’re trying to say is that we want to celebrate … in bed

charles_leclerc even better! your mattress is so comfortable and we can put some netflix on while we have a sleepover together

landonorris they’re literally spelling it out for you in black and white 💀

pierregasly mon ami, they’re trying to say they need some adult time tonight 😏 maybe skip the visit this once

danielricciardo how do i say this nicely … max and y/n are clearly desperate for uh, anniversary cuddles without you as the little spoon!

lewishamilton someone rescue my man charles from himself before it’s too late. praying the two lovebirds to get to celebrate properly tonight 😉

charles_leclerc of course we will all celebrate properly! i have champagne

roscoelovescoco read’s the room’s 🙄

f1wagupdates i can’t tell if charles is trolling them or if he genuinely doesn’t get it 😭

charles_leclerc what is there to get?

yourusername i give up 🤦‍♀️

yourusername … what flavor popcorn do you want for our sleepover?

charles_leclerc white cheddar, please!

[astonmartinii]

day nine: christmas on screen | carlos sainz social media au

pairing: carlos sainz x fem musician reader

what's better than being a super famous singer that's dating a formula one driver? being a super famous singer that's dating a formula one driver that is willing to dress up in silly outfits for your chirstmas special

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 4,231,893 others

tagged: chappellroan & netflix

yourusername: yoohoo! i'm excited to announce my christmas special is coming to you via netflix on december sixth!

view all comments

user1: i have never been more sat, my parents are telling me it's not out yet but i am SO sat on our couch

user2: this is about to be my entire personality for the next two months

user3: TWO MONTHS? weak.

oscarpiastri: CHAPPELL???

yourusername: i know right !!!

carlossainz55: why are you here?

oscarpiastri: i may not like YOU but i like y/n and i LOVE chappell

yourusername: so true of you

carlossainz55: no. not true of you

oscarpiastri: you have a problem with me streaming your girlfriend's music? supporting her career?

yourusername: i appreciate it oscar

carlossainz55: YES.

carlossainz55: you're only doing it to bother ME

oscarpiastri: listen here buddy i've been here since the disney days just because you're an OLD MAN doesn't mean i am

yourusername: i think you guys should maybe settle this on track and not in my comments lol

carlossainz55: i'm on it

oscarpiastri: if you can get close enough next season :P

user4: carcar beef even in the offseason we're being FED

user5: can't deal with oscar reminding me that carlos will be in the williams next year

user6: but oscar is also real as fuck for being a disney girl

charles_leclerc: do you need a piano man at all?

carlossainz55: if there's going to be a ferrari driver in this special it would be ME not YOU

charles_leclerc: well you're not really a ferrari driver anymore so.... it's still open?

yourusername: charlie... it's already been filmed... how did you think we made the trailer?

charles_leclerc: oh - BORING!

user7: so that's basically confirmation that carlos will be in the special right?

user8: i mean although his only talents outside of an f1 car seem to be golf, football and liking shady tweets - he does have a face card that demands to be on tv

user9: i wouldn't put it past y/n and carlos to somehow shoehorn smooth operator in there somewhere

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, fernandoalo_oficial and 652,494 others

tagged: yourusername

carlossainz55: making my netflix debut with my love this winter - check it out december sixth!

view all comments

user13: CONFIRMATION !!!!

user14: tbf as soon as this project was announced there was no way he wouldn't be in it in some shape or form

yourusername: it took a LOT of pleading... had to use the netflix card in the end

user15: thank you for your service

yourusername: seeing your face on a big screen? do tell me more

carlossainz55: i'm just happy you let me on the same screen as you

yourusername: but we're always on the same screen together?

landonorris: not this gatekeeping...

yourusername: i don't think you'd want to see it lando

landonorris: why wouldn't i want to see my two best friends ???

carlossainz55: IT'S NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUR EYES STOP ASKING

landonorris: IS IT YALL FUCKING???

yourusername: my lawyer said i shouldn't answer that question

user16: netflix debut? bro said drive to survive? i don't know her

user17: i mean that show is a complete farce

user18: can't wait for the three episode run all about stake and no mention of max vs george

fernandoalo_oficial: wowee chilli you have outdone yourself this time!

carlossainz55: thank you nando :) i hope you will be watching

fernandoalo_oficial: i will be sitting pretty on the sixth no worries, but only if you and y/n come to my new years bash ...

yourusername: WE WILL BE THERE

fernandoalo_oficial: loving the enthusiasm!

carlossainz55: it's because she has a huge crush on you :(

yourusername: welp can you blame me?

carlossainz55: that's a surrogate father to me i will not be agreeing with you

yourusername: snooze

user19: y/n crush on fernando? she's even more relatable

user20: this makes the whole fernando x taylor swift thing even funnier

yourusername: i won't say it was me whole told taylor about that.... buttttt

user21: queen

netflix

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 2,893,099 others

tagged: yourusername, obx & f1

netflix: what will you be watching this christmas break?

view all comments

user22: me and my girls will be streaming drive to survive and then will be using a nonsense christmas as a palate cleanser

user23: REAL

user24: @netflix please do better with the next season xxx

carlossainz55: a nonsense christmas. over and over again. until it's all that is in my brain and tattooed on the inside of my eyelids

yourusername: omg you do that too???

yourusername: no living soul should ever see my 'baby' folder on tiktok LOL

carlossainz55: well SNAP

user25: really yall save the tiktok edits of each other?

yourusername: ummm yeah? some of you are VERY talented

carlossainz55: also we're apart more than we're together so something must tide us over

charles_leclerc: is that why you keep looking for cameras, smizing and pouring water on yourself

yourusername: don't forget the backwards cap!

carlossainz55: i gotta give them the material to keep my girl happy

carlossainz55: also who do you think suggested the juno position...

user25: thank you for your service

landonorris: wait so that cute fanservice moment was actually just the y/nlos KARMA SUTRA ???

user26: i need a significant other who does this much just for tiktok edits

user27: is this the 21st century romance we were promised?

user28: it's the best we're getting, poetry is dead i fear

yourusername: so i wrote juno for nothing?

maxverstappen1: i will be conducting a full dexter rewatch

carlossainz55: excuse you?

maxverstappen1: well why would i watch drive to survive? i lived it and i already watched a nonsense christmas - amazing work @yourusername

yourusername: thanks max!

carlossainz55: how have yOU watched it? i haven't even watched it yet?

maxverstappen1: i wouldn't have that if i were you y/n, that guy is meant to be your biggest fan?

carlossainz55: i AM

maxverstappen1: oh and i just bribed netflix lol - they had to make up with me at some point ;)

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, landonorris and 3,834,033 others

tagged: carlossainz55

yourusername: christmas was on screen for me this year, but i get to live my hallmark romance everyday

view all comments

user30: chat do we wanna put bets on how long it takes for them to get their own btec hallmark christmas movie like taylor and travis?

user31: next christmas for sure if they're still together

user32: 'if they're still together' kill yourself

liked by carlossainz55

user33: i will be sat for their awful attempt to film the racing scenes

carlossainz55: you're my fairytale ending princess

yourusername: as if you're not the biggest prize of all

carlossainz55: nope that would be you :P

yourusername: whatever you say beautiful

carlossainz55: no i'm being so serious, you being mine is the best gift of all and one i intend to keep for life

yourusername: well it's your lucky day, i want to be yours forever too

yourusername: but the y/ln name will live on

carlossainz55: i'm ready to take yours

charles_leclerc: it's true i caught him practising a new signature with carlos y/ln

yourusername: that's so fucking hot

user34: so that ended abruptly ...

user35: do we think?

user36: yep. it's defo what we think

user37: i mean i'd also climb my boyf like a tree if he said he wanted to be my life partner and take MY last name

taylorswift: we loved your special !!! see you soon xx

yourusername: thank you mama

carlossainz55: so are we all going to the super bowl orrrrrr

yourusername: let's get through christmas first babe

carlossainz55: ACTUALLY who do i talk to about getting you the super bowl halftime show

user38: boyfriend or agent? why not both!

carlossainz55

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, landonorris and 782,309 others

tagged: yourusername

carlossainz55: thank you netflix for allowing to broadcast how hot and amazing my girlfriend is and how absolutely off limits she is

view all comments

user39: bro used a NETFLIX special to tell people to back off his girl

user40: i need a boyf like this

user41: i think i speak for most men that we don't have the budget for this

user42: i mean y/n and netflix mostly paid for the special

user41: did or did carlos not ride in on his 'sleigh' that was a WHOLE FERRARI F1 CAR ???

yourusername: i want everyone to know your mine too

yourusername: why do you think i wear so much red?

lewishamilton: right, this is my seat now you people do know this right?

yourusername: RED CAN BE FOR SPAIN TOO

yourusername: DUMBASSES PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE TO THIRST OVER MY BOYF AND WEAR HIS COLOURS

carlossainz55: you do look otherworldly in red 🫶

yourusername: why thank you xx

yourusername: @williamsf1 any chance we can do a one off red livery - perhaps in spain pretty please

williamsf1: i don't think the social media admin has control over it

yourusername: okay i'll just dm james personally

carlossainz55: babe ???

yourusername: you look almost as good as me in red babe i'm doing it for the greater good

yourusername: @alexalbon you'd look okay too i guess?

alexalbon: i'll take it (and i'll take some tickets as well please)

user43: i love how y/n has just become the ticket plug

user44: and for both sides like why was she the one to get travis in touch with alpine but also giving charles the tickets to taylor in italy

landonorris: ugh we get it you're happy

carlossainz55: you doing okay buddy

landonorris: it's a lonely time of year and you guys aren't helping

yourusername: i have a song about this!

landonorris: what do you think has been on blast the last couple of days?

yourusername: i'll take the streams thanks buddy

f1

liked by danielricciardo, oscarpiastri and 1,209,483 others

tagged: carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, yourusername & landonorris

f1: so how do we get y/n on OUR netflix show?

view all comments

user45: i ask myself this everyday

user46: i'll deal with all the fake drive to survive drama if we get a whole episode of y/n and carlos just existing

user47: i need a y/n hot lap while we're at it as well

carlossainz55: why are you posting such sexy photos of my girlfriend 🤨

f1: ummmmmmm... all photos of her are?

carlossainz55: WRONG ANSWER

carlossainz55: ONLY I'M ALLOWED TO SAY THAT ABOUT HER

f1: i didn't even say the word ???

francocolapinto: take me to jail then

carlossainz55: ugh i don't have the time to fight all of you

francocolapinto: weak

carlossainz55: i have a tight schedule which includes driving in the car you thought you would get and loving the girl YOU WISH YOU COULD BE WITH

francocolapinto: oop

user48: bro is crazy

user49: crazy in LOVE

liked by carlossainz55

yourusername: i guess you'll just have to ask nicely

f1: carlos won't fight us if we do right?

carlossainz55: no... for now

f1: COOL PLEASE COME TO A RACE

yourusername: i can't say much, but i do look just as cute in red as i do i blue :P

user50: YES QUEEN!!!!

user51: and when we get a y/n performance at a race and then we get a juno position at a grand prix weekend...

carlossainz55: that will be my onstage debut

carlossainz55: i know how outrageously horny all you lonely f1 guys are

user52: spill

yourusername: so not just as much as you babe?

carlossainz55: well i actually get to have you sooooooo

yourusername: true :P

user53: LEAVE US ALONE

fin.

note: woah this is like the first time i've written for carlos in like a year. oh and even though this is nice to him... the guilty as sin finale will come in the new year xx

[ayeforscotland]

What is Dataflow?

This post is inspired by another post about the Crowd Strike IT disaster and a bunch of people being interested in what I mean by Dataflow. Dataflow is my absolute jam and I'm happy to answer as many questions as you like on it. I even put referential pictures in like I'm writing an article, what fun!

I'll probably split this into multiple parts because it'll be a huge post otherwise but here we go!

A Brief History

Our world is dependent on the flow of data. It exists in almost every aspect of our lives and has done so arguably for hundreds if not thousands of years.

At the end of the day, the flow of data is the flow of knowledge and information. Normally most of us refer to data in the context of computing technology (our phones, PCs, tablets etc) but, if we want to get historical about it, the invention of writing and the invention of the Printing Press were great leaps forward in how we increased the flow of information.

Modern Day IT exists for one reason - To support the flow of data.

Whether it's buying something at a shop, sitting staring at an excel sheet at work, or watching Netflix - All of the technology you interact with is to support the flow of data.

Understanding and managing the flow of data is as important to getting us to where we are right now as when we first learned to control and manage water to provide irrigation for early farming and settlement.

Engineering Rigor

When the majority of us turn on the tap to have a drink or take a shower, we expect water to come out. We trust that the water is clean, and we trust that our homes can receive a steady supply of water.

Most of us trust our central heating (insert boiler joke here) and the plugs/sockets in our homes to provide gas and electricity. The reason we trust all of these flows is because there's been rigorous engineering standards built up over decades and centuries.

For example, Scottish Water will understand every component part that makes up their water pipelines. Those pipes, valves, fitting etc will comply with a national, or in some cases international, standard. These companies have diagrams that clearly map all of this out, mostly because they have to legally but also because it also vital for disaster recovery and other compliance issues.

Modern IT

And this is where modern day IT has problems. I'm not saying that modern day tech is a pile of shit. We all have great phones, our PCs can play good games, but it's one thing to craft well-designed products and another thing entirely to think about they all work together.

Because that is what's happened over the past few decades of IT. Organisations have piled on the latest plug-and-play technology (Software or Hardware) and they've built up complex legacy systems that no one really knows how they all work together. They've lost track of how data flows across their organisation which makes the work of cybersecurity, disaster recovery, compliance and general business transformation teams a nightmare.

Some of these systems are entirely dependent on other systems to operate. But that dependency isn't documented. The vast majority of digital transformation projects fail because they get halfway through and realise they hadn't factored in a system that they thought was nothing but was vital to the organisation running.

And this isn't just for-profit organisations, this is the health services, this is national infrastructure, it's everyone.

There's not yet a single standard that says "This is how organisations should control, manage and govern their flows of data."

Why is that relevant to the companies that were affected by Crowd Strike? Would it have stopped it?

Maybe, maybe not. But considering the global impact, it doesn't look like many organisations were prepared for the possibility of a huge chunk of their IT infrastructure going down.

Understanding dataflows help with the preparation for events like this, so organisations can move to mitigate them, and also the recovery side when they do happen. Organisations need to understand which systems are a priority to get back operational and which can be left.

The problem I'm seeing from a lot of organisations at the moment is that they don't know which systems to recover first, and are losing money and reputation while they fight to get things back online. A lot of them are just winging it.

Conclusion of Part 1

Next time I can totally go into diagramming if any of you are interested in that.

How can any organisation actually map their dataflow and what things need to be considered to do so. It'll come across like common sense, but that's why an actual standard is so desperately needed!

[perseidlion]

Streaming in Kaos

Well, it happened. I can't say that I'm surprised that KAOS has been cancelled by Netflix. I am a little surprised at the speed at which it was axed. Only a month after it aired, and it's already gone.

That has me wondering if the decision to cancel was made before the show even aired. We have to remember that marketing is the biggest cost after production. If the Netflix brass looked at the show and either decided (through audience testing, AI stuff or just their own biases) that it wasn't going to be a Stranger Things-level hit, they probably chose at that moment to slash its marketing budget.

That meant there was pretty much no way that KAOS was ever going to hit the metrics Netflix required of it to get a season 2.

What makes me so angry about this (other than the survival of a show relying on peoples' biases or AI) is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you decide before a show is ever going to air that it won't be a success, then it probably won't be. If you rely on metrics and algorithms and AI to analyze art, you will never let something surprise you. You'll never let it grow. You'll never nurture the cult hits of the future or the next franchise.

Netflix desperately needs people behind the scenes that believe in stories and potential over metrics. Nothing except the same old predictable dreck is ever going to be allowed to survive if you don't believe in the stories you're telling.

The networks and streamers have a huge problem on their hands. They need big hits and to build the franchises of the future to sustain their current model (which is horribly broken.) But people have franchise fatigue and aren't showing up for known IPs like they used to. The fact that Marvel content is definitely not a sure thing anymore is a huge canary in the coal mine for franchise fatigue. People aren't just tired of Marvel, they're tired of the existing worlds both on the big screen and the small one. Audiences are hungry for something new.

It is telling that the most successful Marvel properties of the last few years have been the ones that do something different. Marvel is smart to finally pull out The X-Men because that is a breath of fresh air and something people are hungry to see more of.

There's pretty much no one behind the scenes (except for maybe AMC building The Immortal Universe) that is committing to really taking the time to build these new worlds. Marvel built the MCU by playing the long game. That paid dividends for a solid decade even if it's dropping off now. That empire was built not with nostalgia for existing IP (don't forget the MCU was built with B and C tier heroes) but with patience. Marvel itself seems to have forgotten this in recent years.

Aside from that, I think people really want stories that aren't connected to a billion other things. That takes commitment on the part of the audience to follow and to get attached to. People WANT three to five excellent seasons of a show that tells its own story and isn't leaving threads out there for a dozen spinoffs. We're craving tight storytelling.

KAOS could have been that. Dead Boy Detectives could have been that. So could Our Flag Means Death, Lockwood and Co, Shadow and Bone, The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, Willow, and a dozen other shows with great potential or were excellent out of the gate.

If you look at past metrics, you only learn what people used to like, not what they want now. People are notoriously bad about articulating what they want, but boy do they know it when they see it. Networks have to go back to having a dozen moderate successes instead of constantly churning through one-season shows that get axed and pissing off the people who did like it in a hamfisted attempt to stumble on the next big thing.

The networks desperately need to go back to believing in their shows. Instead, they keep cutting them off at the knees before they ever get a chance because some algorithm told them the numbers weren't there.