#maybe it's because it's totally obvious and it shouldn't have taken me as long as it did to realise but-

[ultaslodgings]

Here's a small rant about a fun thing I realised with the two TGAA games

[spoiler free]

———————————

Did you know that the two games have a colour motif to them? With Adventures being red, and Resolve - blue?

I'm sure most people are aware, as it is most apparent in their respective save files. (Excuse the crappy image)

And as most people are aware, these colours are HEAVILY present in the games, most notably to represent two of the main characters - Kazuma and Ryunosuke.

But the question here is WHY have this colour motif for each game? And more specifically, WHY is Adventures in red and Resolve in blue?

It's because it was Kazuma's Adventure that we embarked on in TGAA 1, and Ryunosuke's Resolve which we witnessed in TGAA 2.

I really find this detail poetic and quite beautiful even? It gives an extra layer to Ryunosuke's journey and arc, that didn't even need to be there, but it is.

There are so many little bits and details throughout the game, and I wanted to shout out one of them :)

[tizzyizzy]

The Tragedy of Ed and Izzy's Relationship

Izzy's thoughts are full of Ed.

As first mate, he must follow Ed's orders. His entire job focuses on doing Ed's bidding. Following every whim, for years.

When Ed is off his game or careless or eccentric, that's Izzy's problem too.

Loyalty is deeply important to Izzy, or at least his personal sense of it. Even when Izzy ended up banished from the ship, throwing threats at Edward before rowing into the horizon, he was worried about Ed. About what Stede was doing to his brain. You can hear the desperation in his voice when Stede is facing the firing squad. He won't let Ed "ruin" himself. In fact, he's adhering to Ed's old principles: the love of a pet makes a man weak.

And he isn't entirely wrong. Ed's emotionally devastated by Stede's abandonment.

Their relationship, Izzy and Ed's, is important to him. It's Izzy who first to apologize to Ed after their fight. Throughout the episode, he's exasperated but trying to be patient. Trying to redirect Ed's attention without being a dick.

Until, of course, he explodes over Ed's clothing switch, his patience annihilated.

But that episode tells us a lot about how Edward views Izzy too. How Izzy's real concerns about imminent death go in one ear and out the other. He barely flinches at Izzy's resignation, totally calm about Izzy preparing to leave at the end of the episode.

For me, one of the most tragically telling moments about Ed and Izzy's relationship is in episode 10. Not the yelling and the slamming against walls. Before that.

Ed is cleaning up the mess he made in the captain's cabin. He's talking to Izzy, who is skuling against the books. Ed's tone is casual. Even when Izzy says he's going to speak plainly, Ed doesn't seem to expect what's to come.

In their last scene together, Ed suggested they shouldn't even be pirates anymore. Izzy snapped to the crew, told them to call Ed Blackbeard. But Ed told him he didn't want to be called Blackbeard anymore.

In the recent past, Izzy nearly quit over Ed's behavior. He tried to kill Stede in a duel. He threatened Ed when he was banished from the ship. Then he got Stede and Ed captured, got punched by Ed, and witnessed Ed choose servitude to the King over being his captain again.

The audience knows Izzy is upset. From the circumstances, Izzy's personality, and his body language, it's obvious he's seething.

"Can't believe I was living like this. Can you, Iz?"

" ...Izzy?"

But Ed has no idea.

Izzy has, both metaphorically and literally, been shouting his concerns since episode 2, yet Ed doesn't see it coming. Even though it's likely been coming for years.

Ed hasn't been paying attention.

Maybe that's because he didn't need to. Izzy seems to have been around so long, and has been so loyal, Ed has taken him for granted. It's a classic case of a man being shocked when his wife asks for a divorce when she's been complaining for years. Sure, Izzy might complain, but he won't do anything about it, Ed thinks. And if Izzy gets really, genuinely mad, Ed can just apologize and make it up to him in some way, then go right back to doing what he wants once the fire is out.

But maybe he just doesn't care. He talks to Izzy, sure, but does he listen? Ed wanted to engage with Izzy on episode 4, but his timing was abysmal. Izzy, understandably, couldn't even begin to talk about model ships and such stuff while in fear of his life. Not that Ed cared. That was boring, so he just spoke over Izzy.

Ed has leaned on Izzy for a long time. He thought Izzy admired him enough to always be there, no matter what. Even if Ed decided to give up piracy and write sad song lyrics and have an affair with a gentleman, Izzy would be there.

But Ed finally changed too much for Izzy. Now he doesn't respect him and won't serve him. Izzy lived off scraps before, but now there aren't even crumbs of satisfaction from serving a man he admired.

Without anyone to lean on or trust, Ed decided he'd rather keep the reliable comfort of Izzy's support than risk being left with nothing.

If they knew how to be proper friends to one another, this wouldn't have happened. Izzy loves Ed and cares about his welfare. If that had been properly cultivated outside of the first mate and captain dynamic, Izzy would support his heartbroken friend, and Ed would know he wouldn't have to hide himself to be loved.

But they aren't proper friends. Not if Izzy pours himself empty for nothing in return. Not if Ed needs to hide himself away so he isn't left alone.

(At least not yet.)

[fakeloveaskblog]

I do believe it would be for the best for you to have that nice day with Janus that you'd planned to have, Logan. Like you said, you shouldn't neglect your own wellbeing, and your emotional wellbeing looks like it could use the break.

(Words: 3431)

Logan let out a sigh "You're right. Worrying nonstop for Remy won't help them either way"

--

Two days later Janus had a devious smile on his lips as he sat in the passanger seat of Logan's car. His boyfriend had picked him up directly from his apartement. He hadn't said where they were going.

"Let me guess. You are taking me to the woods and surround me by your league of vampires so you can go through with your monthly blood sucking ritual” Janus guessed.

"Oh no dear. That I do with Patty the first thursday of every month" Logan replied druly.

His hands were shaking slightly as he held onto the steering wheel. Every time he looked over to his boyfriend all he could see was Remy passed out with the bruise all around their neck. He could hear every word they'd yelled. His throat tightened.

Logan hit the brake and the car slid to a stop. They were near a park. It was 9 pm and the sky had started to darken.

"We can- We can walk the rest of the way yes? Some fresh air has almost never hurt anyone and the cases where it has are very fascinating" He hoped it would distract him.

“Ah yes because I am so well known for enjoying long walks!” Jan replied sarcastically “Maybe I will if it’s with you”

Logan took out a bag from the backseat. Jan took his boyfriend's free hand and leaned his cheek against his shoulder as they went into the park.

"Is that the bag you're going to hide my body in?"

"I'm afraid the bag is too small for that"

Janus let out an incredibly dramatic gasp while gripping his chest "The rudeness!! Baffling rudeness!!!"

“Yes. I took you here to surprise you with my rudeness”

They went on a path lined with trees until they got to a hill. The trees all but surronded the hill. Aside from some teenagers playing music far away they seemed to be some of the only people in the park.

Once they got to the top Logan pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek “Close your eyes” He murmured into his ear.

His cheeks immediately turned bright red “Well darling since you will now most definitely murder me I am glad your face will be the last thing I see!”

He stood in blindness for at least 3 minutes. His chest was bubbling over with excitement. He didn’t even realize he was shimmying his shoulders to happy stim.

“Alright. My honeysnake you may open your eyes” Logan’s voice was also filled with excitement.

Janus let out a small gasp as he looked. Logan had laid out a star embroidered blanket and sat with his legs crossed on it. He held out a bottle of red wine, his boyfriend’s favorite kind of course. He’d brought several different pastries. Jam drops shaped like hearts, a lemon pie, strawberry bars, 2 cupcakes one with frosting made to look like a snake and one made to look like an owl.

“Oh....” Janus was speechless for a moment before getting a smug smirk on his lips “I see that you’re going in the route of poisoning me through romantic food”

“I am estimating that you will continue with that joke all night, yes?”

“Correct” 

Janus cuddled up to his side. Logan took his hand and pressed a kiss to the top of it before handing him a glass of wine. They clinked their glasses together. The stars had started to come out.

He inspected each and every dessert in an incredibly dramatic fashion before taking a strawberry bar. As soon as he took a bite his eyes went wide.

"Darling which overworked soccer mom did you rob these from???"

Logan triumphantly pointed at himself "This overworked soccer mom. I bake even more than on a regular basis when I am stressed, and I have been experiencing a lot of stress lately"

He held onto his hand harder "My boyfriend senses did go off before. Do you want to talk about it? Or shall I simply push whoever is causing you the stress down a flight of stairs?"

"Oh I wish you would throw him down many stairs" Logan mumbled to himself. ".....It is....quite alright dear. I want this night to be a sort of distraction...for now please dont ask about it"

"My lips are sealed then...but not for the food!"

They cuddled together, ate and drank while looking at the stars. There were no clouds out. No wind. It was like the universe had wanted them to have a good night.

Janus pointed at each and every star constellation he could make out and made an intentionally horrible guess on what it was so Logan could infodump. His eyes were glimmering as he explained it. He looked so beautiful Jan wanted to kiss him endleesly.

“Okay...so..Andromeda was your favorite right?” Janus asked. He had jam on his lips from the sweets (crofters obviously) “Which one is it?”

Logan leaned close to his side and laid his hand on his boyfriend’s chin to move his head to see it “Right there. It’s brightest star is alpha andromedea”

Janus nodded along “Darling what constellation do you think suits me best?”

His expression turned incredibly serious. This was a life or death answer! “Well Patty’s favorite is ursa major aka big bear but you hmmmm Lacerta is a quite obvious once since it’s a lizard...but I think Horologium fits you better"

"Honey all I heard there was you saying ancient latin to summon a demon"

"It’s a pendulum clock! It fits you since they’re mysterious and" He gazed into his boyfriends eyes "They're also very pretty to look at"

Janus let out a pff while shoving his hand in Logan’s face to make him look away "Dork" He chuckled out as his cheeks heated up.

"Oh yes that reminds me"

He pressed a quick kiss to Jan's nose before scrambling around in his bag. He took out a long yellow plush snake. It had a black hat and a red tounge sticking out.

"This was for some reason on my doorstep a few nights ago. It reminded me of you so I thought you should have it"

Janus looked at it with wide eyes "Wait"

He took out a big blue owl plushie from his bag. It had a tiny bow and square glasses. It was incredibly fluffy for an owl.

“This was by my door as well!”

“I am sure there is a logical explanation for this! I am also sure you deserve a snake present”

They switched the plushies. Janus held the snake plushie in his hands and looked down at it’s big kind eyes. He grimaced.

“Darling...I uh already have a snake at home...and  it’s totally not like that owl reminds me of you and I’ve already grown attached to having it in my bed and imagining it’s you or anything...totally not”

Logan let out a breathe of relief “Oh yes! Honey I have been hugging that snake as if it’s my second lung. So I technically don’t need it but it does help me live!”

Janus hugged the owl plushie close to his chest while Logan put the snake around his neck like a scarf. Lo looked over to his boyfriend and got a small smile on his face.

“But my sweet honeysnake you can....slither into my apartement and into my arms whenever the plushie isn’t enough” He moved his hand to his boyfriend’s chin and leaned in. 

Janus flinched away, for a moment there was fear in his eyes.

“I am very sorry” Logan said “I was not intending to kiss you on your lips. I am aware of your boundaries and will not do it until you tell me you’re ready. I was going for your cheek”

“Sorry” He hid his face in the owl’s soft fur so his boyfriend wouldn’t see his embarrassment “I’m sorry”

“There is no reason to apologize here but I will accept your aplogy nonetheless”

Logan gave his boyfriend some time to gather himself, he knew how easily overwhelmed he got. He munched on some of the leftover pie. Janus sunk in on himself. 

“Can I tell you something?” Janus quietly asked while fiddling with the owl’s wing to keep himself calm.

“Of course hun”

“...I contacted Picani..and I have been talking to him. It-it’s only been 3 or so sessions and they’re only like 15 or 30 minutes. It’s barely anything. But I’d thought I’d tell you”

He glanced back up to Logan and was taken aback by the big goofy grin on his lips. It was so unlike him.

“Janus that’s great!” He threw his arms around him and pulled him into a hug so sudden they both nearly tumbled over “I’m so proud of you!”

It took a moment before Janus took it in. He shone up into a smile and leaned into the hug. His nose pressed against the slope of his boyfriend’s neck and the plushies got crushed between them.

"You just sounded uncannily much like Patty" Jan chuckled out.

“I can accept that!” He took his boyfriend’s hand while stimming with the other “Is the therapy helping you progress emotionally? Of course it’s alright if you haven’t yet, asking for help is well enough”

Janus leaned away from him, just a bit so Logan’s arms were still around him but they weren’t pressed against each other. He looked away to the stars and bit the inside of his cheek.

“It’s doing wonders! I don’t have tentacles sprouting out of my back anymore” He tried to joke but it didn’t sound happy “..It is helping...genuinely..It’s just....I think my family might not have been the best. THey weren’t abusive! Not anywhere close! So I am unsure if they really were bad at all, even if Picani says so”

“Oh honey” Logan said it so very softly “They don’t have to have been abusive, or mean to treat you bad. If they hurt you they hurt you. That’s all that matters”

He nodded “Right....right. May I vent about it?”

“Of course”

He moved his hand through the owl’s fur to keep him calm “My mom would comment on what I ate constantly. Anything I ate was too much for her since I already looked disgusting-”

“You don’t. Objectivly so”

“I- I know. But I still think about it every time I eat. And I worry about eating around other people, what if they think I’m gross”

“Then they’re objectivly an asshole and I will kick my knee into their chin. Including your mother!” 

“Logan no!”

“Logan yes!”

Lo knew he had succeeded when Janus let up into a laugh. 

“Oh it was horrible” Janus continued through the last small chuckles “Every time she forced me to go buy clothes with her I would get panic attacks from what she said about my body and I always hid it because I was afraid of what she would say. And the one time she heard me literally sobbing in a dressing room all she said was that I was overreacting and to hurry up”

Logan was very quickly forgetting that the kicking in face thing was supposed to be a joke “Mhm yes that does indeed sound astronomically horrible yes”

Janus wiped his hand over his eye as if to rub memories away “It was....I thought so much of it was normal..I didn’t know-”

“You shouldn’t have had to think like that in the first place”

“I know....I know...They made me feel so much shame...Before I even knew...Just hearing my dad talk about...people like me on the tv made me feel shame before I even fathomed the idea that I could like men”

He let up into another laugh. The kind of laugh that came when he remembered something so bad the only thing he could do to not cry was to laugh.

“I- I’d never heard my mom say anything about it so I tried coming out to her” He chuckled “It didn’t go well! I used a youtube video because I couldn’t physically say the word gay. And then she outed me to my dad behind my back and never told me! I found out through my aunt!”

Logan was moving away from a knee kick and instead thinking of bringing a baseball bat.

“And- And I should have known because right after when- we were on vacation and my dad- I was 14 I think maybe it’s blurry- I-I saw two men hold hands in public and I’d never- I felt so happy- I wanted to run up to them- I couldn’t stop staring and then..and then my dad moved his arm around my shoulders and pointed at them and he looked into my eyes and his voice was so steady” Janus’ eyes had stopped moving, they were staring out into thin air as if he could see it happening again “He told me that what the men were doing was wrong. That We didn’t like that. That it was disgusting. And then he forced me to walk away”

Janus’ hand was shaking as he gripped onto the plushie to keep himself present. Logan gently took one of his hands and pressed a kiss to it.

“You shouldn’t have had to hear that, ever”

“It feels so good to finally tell someone” He sighed “Aside from Picani I’ve held that to myself for so so long....It’s...It’s been so many years. Shouldn’t I be over this. The shame has gotten a bit better...but it’s still there”

“Honey, For how long have you lived without being in contact with those...those wretched humans made out of boiled together pieces of maggot bones?” Logan asked in a straightforward tone.

“Around 14 months? I think? It’s all so blurry. Me before and after meeting you totally don’t feel like 2 different people or anything”

“Mhm. How many times have you gone to therapy?”

“3 times”

“No human being can be expected to recover from several years of trauma, because it is trauma, in such a short amount of time. Especially with such a small amount of professional help” Logan said in a very agressive but somehow also loving voice while smacking his hand to the top of his boyfriend’s head to pat him.

Janus looked at him. He looked at the way he was trying so hard to comfort him in his own lovely way. Looked around at the stars lighting up their date. Looked at the leftover food his boyfriend had spent time to make just to share between them, because he never saw him as disgusnting no matter what he ate.

He let up into a smile before leaning forward so his and Logan’s foreheads were pressing against each other. He intertwined their fingers. He felt his boyfriend’s breathe against his nose. 

Oh he was so alive. He was holding hands with his boyfriend and he was so alive.

“I love you” Janus murmured out.

Logan shone up into a soft smile “I love you too”

He cupped Janus’ cheeks and leaned even closer. Their eyes met so perfectly. Logan could see the stars mirroring in his boyfriend’s eyes, like a small galaxy.

“And honey- Janus, you’re not perfect because none of us are and you shouldn’t feel the need to be perfect, but there is not a goddamn part of you you should ever feel ashamed of”

A warm feeling filled Janus’ chest. He leaned forward and kissed Logan.

His boyfriend’s lips were so soft against his, he closed his eyes and melted into the kiss. For a moment he didn’t even realize what he’d done, all he could think about was Logan’s warm hands against his cheeks and his lips that tasted like strawberries and coffee.

BUT OH BOY THEN JANUS REALIZED WHAT THE FUCK HE WAS DOING.

He practically flung away from Logan just as suddenly as he’d kissed him. His chest was rapidly heaving up and down as he gasped for breathe. He clasped his hand over his mouth.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t- I’m sorry- I should have asked you before- Sorry” 

Logan was tracing his fingers over his lips, as if he could barely even believe what had just happened “Honey dear sweetheart beloved you” He let out a small happy sound “I think I’ve made it quite clear I was Very ready for you kissing me whenever you wanted to”

“Oh- Oh okay. Phew”

“Your lips taste like crofters! This is amazing! A scientific miracle! I have to study your lips! In multiple ways!!”

Janus let up into a light laugh “Darling there was crofters in the jam drops you made. Of course I taste like crofters”

“hmm. Seems logical. Your lips are still from here on out classified as a scientific miracle either way”

“Can we...” Janus was full on grinning as he nervously asked “Can we kiss again? Please?”

Logan didn’t answer. He simply squeezed his boyfriend’s cheeks and kissed him. And kissed him. And kissed him. 

He kissed so hard they both tumbled over. Janus fell down on his back and Logan used his arms to not fall down on top of him. They looked at each other for a moment, cheeks flushed, lips red, eyes wide, and smiled.

Janus tugged at his boyfriend’s tie to pull him into another kiss. His hand was in his hair, the other on his lower back. His thigh was somewhere pressed against Logan’s ribs. All he could focus on was the feeling of his lips. It felt like electricity was going up and down through his body at hyper speed.

This wasn’t exactly Logan’s first rodeo so he noticed very quickly when Janus opened his eyes and started looking unsure. He quickly moved away and laid himself down beside him. His arm was laid out across his boyfriend’s chest and their hands were still intertwined.

“Sorry. This is totally not at all a lot to take in” Janus panted out “I only need a second and a spa bath to process it”

“That is alright dear” Logan was still grinning. His cheeks started to hurt from it. He let up into happy flaps “I have been waiting for this for approximately 12 months and I will have you know it was very worth the wait. You are a natural my love. The first time I kissed Patty I fell off a swing and broke my glasses immediately afterwards”

Janus giggled at his story. He clasped his mouth shut. The giggles sounded so unlike him. They were so light and loud, but he couldn’t stop giggling. It was like millions of small butterflies were finally leaving his stomach and were transforming right into giggles. 

They laughed together, their bodies pressed close together, as they looked up at the night sky. The tree tops outlined the galaxy above them.

“Darling it was a great night to take me star-gayzing” Janus chuckled out.

Logan stared at him as if he’d just thrown a watermelon into his eye “Was that a pun I heard?! I automatically despise you!”

“You love me! You said it!!” He giggled back.

“How do I keep ending up with pun makers. This is highly ridicolous!"

"Muhahaha. It is all in the plan deary!” Janus moved his arms around mysteriously “The great evil pun plan!"

“I’ll kiss you until you tell me all about it”

“Hard bargain, but I’ll surely manage”

Logan pouted while moving to press a kiss to his boyfriends collar bones. He kept littering kisses to his neck and cheek and nose until kissing him on the lips again.

He wished they weren’t in a public space so he could kiss his wonderful thighs, his stomach rolls, his shoulders, every stretch mark on his chest. So he could give him all the love he'd daydreamed about.

Janus looked at him with a sneaky grin and red cheeks "Would it be acceptable to try with tounge now?"

"Incredibly acceptabe"

He gently moved Janus so he sat on top of his hips. His hands were leaned on either side of Logan’s face. 

"Are you sure I’m not too heavy?" Janus mumbled out.

"Honey Patty is about the same size as you. I am Very used to having my pelvic crushed. In multiple ways"

Janus nodded and let up into a nervous smile. Logan moved his boyfriend’s head close and parced his lips. His hand rested against his cheek.

"You're beautiful. You're so incredibly beautiful" Logan murmured before brining him in for another kiss.

[lgbtpolitics]

I'm rewatching some old Waterloo Road (don't judge me lmao I've had a long few weeks) and its come to the Jonah/Cesca relationship and its such a common thing in dramas like this to depict student teacher relationships in this weird way thats like... not exactly condoned, its fairly clear the teacher shouldn't be doing this (and they usually face the consequences at the end), but its set up in a way that is seemingly... sympathetic.

It comes in the form of a good teacher, lovely person who would never think to abuse anyone. Some innocent circumstances lead them to spending a lot of time with a pupil, who is typically of legal age but still at school. They start falling in love and the teacher knows its wrong and tries to resist but they just keep coming back to it. Maybe a big part of it is actually instigated by the student, insisting they are mature really, and they totally aren't being taken advantage of. They then have a loving relationship where the teacher never abuses their power until shit hits the fan and they get caught.

The thing is, while I obviously can't say this never happens, the older I get the more I realise how far fetched this really is. I fully bought this when I was younger than most of the characters on this show but now I see it more from the teachers perspective and it just makes no sense. I'm only 24, but I simply couldn't fall for a school kid. Even if they were 18. And I'm watching this show just like, no rational adult could do what Cesca does here. Its so blatant that he's just a kid. He's having parties in abandoned buildings and working on a school fashion show and he's sitting in her classes and getting put in detention and running for head boy... these are all things that should a massive turn off to any adult.

Again its not exactly condoned but it comes across like the feelings are understandable but acting on it is wrong and I'm sorry but the feelings are not understandable. Like I say I'm younger than the average teacher and I simply would never fall for a school kid. I just don't buy it that teachers who get off with kids are ever just people who happened to fall in love with the wrong person, i think to develop those feelings towards schoolkids in your care means you are inclined towards romantic relationships wherein you have power that you can abuse. Because when you have this kind of power dynamic, its just so glaringly obvious in every interaction, and if that's not an instant turn off then that really says something about your intentions.

[sunarintoes]

Synopsis: Yn Ln is an environmentalist - Miyagi University’s very own campus ‘Green Thumb.’ One day Hinata Shōyō who happens to be a close friend of Yn, invites them to come to one of his races. The only problem is that this race of his, is illegal. Read the journey of Yn who has been sucked into the world of illegal street racing with the one goal: to create an eco-friendly race car.

WC: 1.8K

Note: is this character development I smell? 👀

Vanilla Bean Frappe

You slowly make your way down to the Karasuno club room, Sugawara had run off to the bathroom which left you alone; not that you minded of course. Sometimes a little bit of peace and quiet while you wander past various different crews is nice. It allows you to have the freedom of walking from place to place and being able to let your eyes roam around your surroundings. Normally with Sugawara you had only kept your eyes on him and the road ahead, not wanting to seem disinterested in the many things he talked about. You notice how the clubrooms are closely packed together, the smaller teams sit in one area while the bigger teams are only a few metres apart - and that the more… successful crews have more members and a larger room. Shiratorizawa was slightly larger than Dateko’s, Seijoh and Karasuno’s. You guess it's simply because they are the champions and need the extra room to store their trophies. Dateko and Karasuno are on the same side, Seijoh and Shiratorizwa mirror them which forms a square between them. You let a small smile ease it’s way onto your face, it was freezing but you were excited to speak with Shouyou and congratulate him on his race. 

You freeze when you hear a quiet sob, you narrow your eyes as you look around you but no one seems to be crying - there’s no one outside either. Just when you get ready to move again you hear another sob, and against your brain’s desire, you make your way to the sound. You can't help yourself, you hate it when someone is in pain.

There is a figure hunched over behind a tree and from where you’re standing they look like a guy. You slowly walk up to them and put your hand on their shoulder before crouching down next to them; ‘hey are you alright-- Oikawa! What are you doing here?’

Oikawa wipes the tears off of his face and looks away from you, his body shrinking into itself as if he was trying to protect himself. ‘Listen up, brat, I don't care about you nor do I know you. Why are you here? What did I do to deserve being plagued by you? Why can't you just leave me alone huh?’

You retract your hand and let out a long sigh. He was obviously upset and didn't mean the things he said; or maybe he did, but it didn't matter, all that mattered was that you knew he was alright - even if you despised him to some degree. ‘Oikawa… I’m sorry, I'm not sure what’s made you so distraught but I want to help… is there anything I can do-’

‘No! Just leave! I don't want nor do I need you here.’

The kind smile you put up to comfort him shakes a little before it regains its composure. ‘Should I get Hajime?’

The atmosphere becomes deafeningly silent and stays that way for a minute, ‘no,’ he whispers as more tears roll down his crimson cheeks, ‘I know we have this strange relationship where we both dislike each other but do me a solid, don’t tell anyone you saw me like this.’

You have to lean in close to hear him and you find yourself shivering at his voice, it was smooth and sweet like chocolate and you think it suits him completely. ‘I promise, and I know we don't like each other, but I have an idea to make you feel better… let's be friends for the night,’ you say as you place your hand back on his shoulder.

He flinches like last time while he looks at you - shock written all over his face, ‘I'm sorry what?’

You lose your balance which results into you falling onto your behind and you feel your face heat up; ‘I- well, it's just that I thought maybe we could just head over to some fast food restaurant and get you a drink to cheer you up and get your mind off of whatever and, and I uh thought maybe it was best to go with me because um I don't know maybe a stranger’s company is what you need?’

He scowls at you before sighing and getting up, ‘yeah… maybe you’re right. Let's be friends for the night.’

✄.

You find yourself in the passenger seat of Oikawa’s car and despite your initial thoughts, the car doesn't smell half bad - in fact it smells good, it reminds you of hot cocoa on a winter’s day. You look out the window and see the street lamps fly by and soon enough, you arrive at an all day Starbucks located at a seemingly abandoned gas station. 

Oikawa gets out of the car first and walks around to open the door for you; ‘you didn't have to do that…’

‘I didn't but I did anyway so you should be saying thank you.’

You resist the urge to scoff and instead, opt to roll your eyes in a semi playful manner, ‘yeah you're right, thank you my King,’ you fake courtesy after you get out.

You look up to see him scowling down at you but still doing his best to bite down a smile, ‘come on, let's just get a drink and never speak again.’ You laugh at that.

✄.

‘I'll get one vanilla bean frappe, thank you, oh uh… medium size thank you!’

‘Your orders will be ready shortly!’ says the cashier.

Oikawa leads you over to an empty table that was seated towards the back of the food court. ‘So you have a sweet tooth huh?’

‘Yeah I guess… could say the same for you? An iced coffee with caramel.’

His lips twitch up into a smile, ‘yeah I guess.’

You sigh as you lean back into the chair, ‘we totally got off on the wrong foot, didn't we?’

Oikawa looks out the window, ‘yeah we totally did… I guess I'm partly to blame.’

You make a sound of agreement, ‘yep. I know you said that this would be a one time thing, but I think so far it’s been nice to be with someone who doesn't really know you. I'm not sure… I'm tired so I'm really just rambling.’

‘No, I understand perfectly. Being with a stranger, someone who doesn’t know you, feels free I guess. They don't know what's going on in your head and they are entitled to know how you're feeling or whatever.’

Silence takes over as you both continue to drink. ‘Maybe… maybe we could become friends or something?’

Oikawa sighs and looks at you with an unreadable expression, ‘no. That's the deal we made, we aren't going to become friends. But… you did help me feel a bit better I guess, I'm not crying anymore so that's a plus…’

You bite your lip and look away, contemplating on what to say next. Oikawa’s gaze is still focused on you, making you feel small. You look him in the eyes, ‘let's stay as strangers.’

He lets out an amused scoff, ‘stay as strangers? What's the supposed to mean?

Suddenly you feel nervous, naked and exposed. ‘Well I just thought that uh maybe, maybe you and I could, umm, we could y'know do this every so often? But stay as strangers… we just meet up get a drink and stay in each other’s presence but we don't get to know each other-’

‘I like it. But let's set some rules as well, yeah?’ your eyes widen in shock, you didn't think he would actually agree. ‘First off, no interacting with each other away from this, and if we do we continue to be rude to each other? We stay as far away as possible - mentally that is.’

‘Second rule, no falling in love.’

‘Shouldn't that be obvious?’

‘I- yes, yes it should but you seem to have a thick skull so I have to make sure you know.’

He smirks, ‘well, looks like you can be mean.’

‘What's that supposed mean!?’

‘Oh? Absolutely nothing darling,’ oh, there it is; that irritating pet name, ‘let's continue with our rules. I say for rule three we tell nobody.’

‘Agreed, so far we have, one - stay as strangers, two - don't fall in love slash become friends and three, tell nobody. How about one more, we can confide in our problems with each other but not get to know each other on a personal level?’

‘I like that.’ he smiles, and God it is so beautiful. I think that’s about right. How about I take you home?’

You look up at him and smile, ‘that’d be helpful.’

✄.

You watch as Oikawa’s car speeds off into the night before you make your way to your apartment which is regrettably on the third floor. Trudging up the stairs you curse at yourself for making a deal with the devil - no, not Oikawa, but with the landlord who told you that the ‘three flights of stairs was short and easy to walk up.’ What utter bullshit. 

You pull out your apartment keys and go to open the door but something is blocking your way. Looking up from the floor you find this something to be someone, and this very someone is the very ex-lover who shattered your heart. ‘Kiyoko,’ your voice is breathy and shaky, it sounds as though you are trying to convince yourself that what you see before you is real and not an illusion.

She looks down, ‘hey Yn,’ she starts off softly, ‘I thought maybe we could talk… you weren't at The Garage tonight with everyone else and I assumed you still lived in the same apartment.’

You glare at her, ‘I'm sorry what? How do you know about The Garage?’

Kiyoko looks taken aback, ‘I'm the other manager. You didn't know that?’

Now it's your turn to be confused, ‘no, no I did not. I just assumed that someone had the same name as you…’ you felt like an idiot because what you are telling her is the honest truth. 

She quietly giggles, ‘I see. Well I haven't been there the past two weeks… I've been out of town-’

‘Please just get to the point,’ you beg.

‘I think it’s fate. I want to give it another go- I want to give us another go. I still have your number and I know you still have mine…’

You scowl at her as you walk past into your apartment, ‘and get my heartbroken? Again! No thanks.’ And with that, the conversation is over and the door is slammed on Kiyoko’s face.

You walk into your room and sit besides the bed. Kiyoko’s offer is tempting, you really do want nothing more than to climb back into her arms and inhale her scent, you want nothing more than for her to run her hands through your hair as she places delicate kisses to your forehead. ‘Fuck!’ you yell out.

✄.

Kiyoko walks down the stairs to Sugawara’s car, ‘How’d it go?’ he asks. She looks away and he takes it as a sign that she doesn't want to speak about it. ‘Still, I really had no idea you and Yn had a history like that… Why did you two break up?’ She stays silent and Sugawara knows he should drop the subject.

Taglist: @dadchi-oya @cutepet09

[sp00kymulderr]

Hi, Jessica! It is I, master procrastinator who's totally not ignoring a pending essay and choosing to read fic instead, not at all, where did you hear that?

ANYWAYS, no regrets because you are such an amazing writer SO...

Firstly, that Untitled Marcus drabble made me soft 🥺🥺. I really loved how hesitant he was to express the love he so clearly feels, and how scared he is of losing Reader. The way he thinks about her is nothing short of adoring, and her feelings are obviously as strong as his. All in all, this couple makes for a very supportive and lovely pair and I wish them a life full of happiness and understanding together 😌.

"Wildflowers" is an adorable tale of a Reader in love and a lovely Ezra and I really enjoyed it. Him being so enchanted with nature on every planet was, well, adorable, and so was her being enamored with him. I'll be honest, I didn't trust the mysterious flowers at first and honestly thought they'd be dangerous in some way, but I was glad they weren't and these two could just enjoy each other's company without having to fight a murderous flower or something. And getting to see Ezra's POV was a delight, especially since we got to confirm that he is as taken with Reader as she is with him. Their kiss was really cute, and I could read Ezra waxing poetry about Reader forever.

And then we have "Zenith". I did not know I needed a fic like this, but I clearly did. Reader and Ezra's love here was just so fucking tender I almost died. Seriously, the kiss descriptions were beautiful (for lack of a more adoring word), and their conversation made me go 🥺🥺. We stan a couple who loves one another. 10/10, short and sweet, Winner of the Make Me Feel Soft In 600 Words Or Less Award.

And last but most definitely not least, we have the "San Valentín" series. "San Valentín" came into my house and murdered me. Seriously, you can't have a quickie in a supply closet full of unspoken tenderness and spoken playfulness and then end it with the reality shock of remembering these people are not in a relationship and probably shouldn't be. I'm starting to think YOU are the 'bastarda malvada'.

"Desiderium" leaves nothing to be desired. Also, RIP to Jason the CIA lackey, I'm sure you are a very cool dude and I hope you find someone, but Reader's heart is taken, I'm afraid. And also RIP Reader's confession plans. No judgement here, I'd also forgo any big admission plans if Javier Peña looked at me the way I'm imagining he looked at her. And I laughed a bit at Javi's obvious jealousy, I love this man. Aaaand RIP me when Reader actually confessed and Javi reacted like THAT. Smh, Javi, smh.

And then there's "Saudade". From the get go I DID NOT TRUST that title because you do not name a happy ending "Saudade", you just do not. Javi and Reader's awkward interactions were straight up painful, but what really hurt me was his continued rejection of her affections. Him coming to her place and telling her THAT was more than I expected, tbh. Very painful, I admit, but beautiful nonetheless. And a hopeful ending, which, again, is the best I could've expected given the title and actually makes a lot of sense for their relationship. In my heart these two are now (2020) happily married with two and a half dogs, just so you know.

And that's all for today, I do think.

(Also, not that this has to do anything with your writing, but I've noticed that your queue tag is "protomolequeue", so I must ask: do you watch one of my favorite shows ever "The Expanse"? And if so, how do you feel about the latest episode and the tears I shed while watching it?)

And as always, have a nice day! ~ 🍪

🍪 anon you are so incredible and you have made me once again so happy and excited and I’ve read this every single since you sent it (which is why it’s been sitting in my inbox without a response for so long, sorry!). Your encouragement and enthusiasm you share with writers on this website is truly such a beautiful thing and I just feel so so lucky that you would bless me with all these lovely words about my writing!

I don’t even know how to respond to your reviews but please know I am overwhelmed with love and I feel like I wanna write again which has not been the case for a while. And oh, now you’ve got me thinking of the unwritten part 4 of San Valentin where I finally let the couple MAYBE have some happiness hmmm....

And YES! The Expanse is my favourite show in the world it is literally my favourite thing to exist oh my goodness I’m always so excited to meet other fans - please come talk to me about it whenever as long as you don’t mind me waxing poetic about Bobbie Draper aka the queen of my heart. I know which episode you mean and yes I feel you there were a lot of tears and my heart is still breaking.

ANYWAY please know you are a wonder and an angel and I hope you have the loveliest possible day!

[carreraleigh]

I'll always remember you (Colt x mc)

Part 2

A/N: Hi! The second and last part of this story is already here. I'm very excited to share this because I really think it's my best work so far and it's especial to me so, I hope you all like it as much as I do ❤

Rating: PG

Summary: After nine months Ellie realized that there are people who can not be forgotten.

[PART 1 HERE]

Tags: @courtesan-of-garage @zig-nazario @queenkaneko @lovehugsandcandy @client-327 @vienroose @the-red-jhon @rwanchoices @storiesofsass @brightpinkpeppercorn @choicesarehard @liamzigmichael4ever @maxwellsquidsuit

Inspired by

—

“I knew that someday I would find you here again.”

Ellie felt her heart go up to her throat. She didn't know if she had really heard his voice or if her mind was playing a trick on her, she didn't dare look back. Her pulse accelerated fast and faster and her breathing became more and more difficult. She put her two hands over the edge, trying to stabilize herself as she rose, still not looking back. Ellie swallowed hard and closed her eyes, and without a second thought she turned around. She opened her eyes slowly and felt them automatically begin to fill with tears once more, when she saw who was in front of her.

It was Colt, laying against his white motorcycle looking at her with a smile. Ellie couldn't believe that he was there at that very moment, it was like he came out of some dream that sooner or later, she was going to have to wake up from.  She approached him slowly, gradually increasing her speed, until their two bodies collided, enveloping each other. Ellie squeezed him hard against her, still feeling that at some point he was going to disappear, and she heard Colt drop a sigh as he also pressed himself hard against her. Tears streamed non-stop from her face, hidden in Colt's neck, he was stroking her hair gently as he held her. She hadn't felt that happy in a long time, it was as if in his arms she once again found shelter from all her problems, all her fears, just like in the past. The two held each other for a long time, neither saying a word. Ellie dropped the last remaining tears and sighed, a mixture of feelings in her body. She broke the hug by taking a step back and connected her eyes with Colt's.

"Hey there, speed demon." he said as he took her hand "We have a lot to talk about."

—

Colt and Ellie sat on the edge of the cliff, the two looking towards the horizon. Millions of things were going through her head at that moment. It had been so long since they had seen each other and Ellie didn't know exactly what to do, or what to say. Colt seemed to read her thoughts as he cleared his throat and began to speak.

"How are you?" he said looking at her, Ellie hugged her legs and looked at him.

"I’m good" she said, it was the biggest lie she’d ever told him "How have you been?"

"I've had a few exhausting days," he said, smiling "But everything is getting better.”

Ellie was happy to know that Colt's life was getting better since the last time she saw him, after everything that had happened to him almost a year ago, she knew that Colt more than anyone else deserved a little happiness and peace in his life, even though she wasn't the reason he felt those things.

"I'm glad you're happy." she said fighting the tears that threatened to come out "How's business?"

"Which one?" Colt laughed, Ellie did the same.

"Both." she said, looking at him expectantly.

"Well, repairs in the auto-shop are about to end" Ellie saw Colt's expression light up as he spoke "In a month the place is going to operate again as usual."

"That's incredible, Colt.” she smiled “I know how much you wanted to rebuild that place.”

"Yes." Colt said "And about the other business," Colt looked at his arm, and Ellie noticed a trail of ink on his skin, the acronym MPC in the same place where she had seen Teppei's tattoo long ago "I've managed to build a good crew."

Ellie thought of the old crew, Logan, Mona, Ximena and Toby. She realized that for her the only Mercy Park Crew that could exist in her mind were her old friends and her, no one else. Maybe everyone had moved on and she wasn't sure that some of them still remembered all the good times they spent together as she did, she had always been the most sensitive of them all anyway. That’s why she had won so much joy, but lost so many fights too.

"It seems like everything in your life is going well then." Ellie said.

Colt laughed and moved his gaze to the horizon. Ellie noticed how his laugh was not one of joy, more like a sarcastic laugh. She stared at him for a moment, focusing on how his chest was going up and down because of his breathing, not saying a word for a few seconds.

"I should be happy, shouldn't I?" he asked, looking at her again.

"Aren't you happy?” she asked.

"Are you?" Colt said.

The question taken her by surprise, but Ellie knew the answer. She had asked herself the same question so many times that she had convinced herself that she would always have the same answer. At the end of the day, when the moon was up in the sky and there were no classmates to laugh with, no teachers to listen to, no homework and no texts to copy, it was then, while she was lying on her bed, with the lamp on and looking towards the ceiling, that she realized that she could never really be happy. Ellie wondered if after a long day Colt lay down in his bed and thought about her too.

"All I ever wanted was to prove to my father that I was worthy of following his footsteps." Colt pulled her out of her thoughts "Ever since I knew about his world, I've wanted to be a part of it, and I imagined myself in a few years leading the crew, letting my dad rest and devote himself to his passion, which were the cars." Colt looked back at the tattoo on his arm "I just didn’t imagine it would have been so soon.”

Ellie could see in Colt's eyes how the memory of his father still hurt him like the first day. She knew that such pain didn't go away overnight, she couldn’t imagine how she would be now if she were in that situation, maybe she would have lost her purpose to live, maybe she would have moved on and become much stronger because of the losses of life, but Colt was still there, even though Ellie knew it hurt, he was still there, going forward, he had never given up about anything. Ellie took his hand and stroked it gently, giving him courage to keep talking.

"Now I have it all," Colt continued “I still remember when I told him that one day I was going to carry on everything he had worked for, all that meant to be part of us, and he had given me so much advice on how to handle it, the business and all, as if he knew in some way that he had little time left." Colt interlaced his fingers with Ellie's, looking at her hand "The only thing he didn't tell me," their eyes connected "It's that an empire is nothing if you don't have someone to share it with."

"Colt..." Ellie said on the verge of tears.

"But it's okay," Colt shook his head "You knew what you wanted and you took it, just like I did, I can't blame you for that." Colt sighed "You’re studying what you want, you have new friends, new lovers, new challenges to face..."

"Lovers?" Ellie interrupted him with a frown.

Colt didn't look at her, on the contrary, his eyes were fixed on the calm sea that covered everything around them, and suddenly everything in Ellie's head made sense. There were days when she walked the streets near the college with her friends and swore to hear the same sound that Colt's motorcycle made, but she looked everywhere and never saw anything. Sometimes she thought she could see him looking at her from afar, and when she closed her eyes and opened them again, no one was there. It didn't happen very often, only about two times a month, but every time it happened it was like Ellie was hoping that one of those times she would turn around and see him with a smile waiting for her at the end of the street, but it never happened. Still, everything was clearer now, after hearing what he said.

"So it was you." Ellie said, looking at him expectantly waiting for his answer.

"I wanted to know if you were okay," Colt said "I needed to know if you were okay."

"You knew where to find me all this time and you never came close to me" Ellie said, a little sadness in her voice.

"You seemed happy" Colt said.

Of course Colt thought she was happy, if he only saw her when she was out on the street with her friends, or when she was going to meet them somewhere. All those moments of momentary happiness which, in the end, had no meaning to her. Colt had no idea what was going on behind closed doors, and it was obvious because he mentioned that Ellie had a new love. She thought of the times when she and Julian walked down the street with ice cream in their hands, smiling at each other while holding hands, she thought of the times when Julian would steal a little kiss from her lips just to make her smile. Colt seriously thought that Ellie had allowed herself to feel things for someone other than him because at some point, he must have seen them together.

"Colt, about the lovers thing, I..."

"You don't owe me any explanation," Colt said smiling, his smile looking totally genuine "If you're happy, then I can live with that."

Ellie thought carefully about what she was going to say next.

"But I do want to explain it," she put a hand on his cheek making him look directly into her eyes "Whatever you saw out there, it's not what it looks like."

"Ellie, seriously, you do not have to tell me ..."

"I have to, Colt" she raised her voice a little, making Colt shut up "I need to say it because I feel like if I don’t do it, it will burn me inside" Ellie sighed, trying to gain strength "There is not a single day, Colt Kaneko, there is not a single day when I don’t think about you. "

Colt stared at her for a moment, his caresses stopped and Ellie regretted saying those words as soon as they came out of her mouth. It had been so long that she didn't know if Colt still felt the same, fuck, she didn't even know if Colt had found a new person and he wanted to move on, but he wasn't there with her then, at that exact moment, that exact day. Something had to be under all the dust, something she wanted to wake up again. Ashamed of what she had said, Ellie got up from where she was and walked towards her car, she could hear how a few steps followed behind her calling her name.

"Ellie, come back." his footsteps were being heard closer and closer.

"Colt, just go." Ellie said as she hurried her step.

It didn't take long for her to feel Colt’s hands grabbing her by the arm and flipping her around, he connected his lips to hers. The kiss took Ellie by surprise, but she responded as she felt his soft lips on hers. Colt deepened the kiss while taking her by the waist, Ellie wrapped her arms around his neck, the two holding each other tightly. Colt's kisses were desperate, hungry, with an intensity Ellie hadn't felt for a long time, in a way that only he could make her feel. Something inside her grew, as if his kiss had revived a part of her soul, a part of her heart that she thought was lost. She let herself be carried away for the moment, immersing herself in his warm touch, until she had to step aside to take a breath. Colt leaned his forehead on hers and the two looked into each other's eyes.

"I think about you every day of my life too." Colt said, breathing agitatedly "There's never been anyone like you and will never be."

Colt kissed her on the forehead and walked away from her toward his motorcycle. Ellie got closer to him slowly as he started the engine, turned on the lights and raised his head to look at her again, this time with a smile.

"I'm not giving up on you, Ellie." Colt said with a serious expression  "I'm going to wait for you, however long it takes."

"Colt..." Ellie said wiping a tear off her face "How are you sure I'll ever come back?"

"I don't know," he replied, looking at the horizon, then looked at her again "But I know that no matter what happens, I’ll always remember you.”

Ellie saw Colt driving fast down the street she had come, tears falling from her eyes non-stop once more. She had him back for a minute, only to lose him again later. Ellie thought about all the things that still remained to be said, about all the things that remained to be done, but there was no time for that, yesterday was gone and there was no way to go back and fix the past. Maybe that was their destiny, to be those star-crossed lovers who would have always loved each other, but at the wrong time and place.

Ellie got in the car and took one last look at the cliff.

“Me too Colt, me too.”

[lukereviewsftm-blog]

Mr Limpy review

Mr Limpy (3.5") became my first ever soft packer about two weeks ago. I'm not sure if that's enough time to decide whether I'm in love with it or purely despise it. There are a lot of pros and cons to this that I haven't seen many people talk about. That or it's just me who's experiencing this. 

Well, let's get into it.

Okay first of all the packaging and it's realistic-ness. The packaging was of course discreet (from ftmesstentials). Came within 2-3 days I think, don't recall but it wasn't long. There's nothing to worry about with the packaging to say the least. In terms of how it looks, man, this thing is super detailed. It has the peehole too, which I don't see too often in soft packers. The detail on this thing is so far the best I've seen. Y'know aside from the lousy 3 colors you get to pick from, pink (and i mean pink), vanilla (which I chose because I thought I was lighter than I am but I was wrong), and caramel (probably thinking I should've picked this even though it was a few shades darker than my skin). But whatever, when did packers ever come in your original skin color anyways? Yeap, there's no shading on this one my dears. So the color wasn't too realistic, but at least it looks nice.

So overall for packaging and looks? I give it a 9/10.

Moving onto how this guy actually feels in my underwear. I honestly feel like I'll be complaining throughout the rest of this review. Let's just cut to the chase, I think it's safe to say that it felt uncomfortable the first few days. This one takes a bit of getting used to. (I'm not sure if that's just me, I haven't heard this problem with anyone else but yknow, everyone's different and I'm speaking from my brutally honest experience and perspective). Well, I found my hand in my underwear every few minutes or so. Some of you might think I'm wearing underwear that's unfit to pack with. That might be the case, but I wear super tight boxer briefs from H&M (if y'all shop there y'all would know that these underwear don't have the peehole in them. And in that aspect, I find H&M underwear to be more superior than the tommy ones that I own). So I don't necessarily think the problem lies in my underwear, cause these boys are tight enough to make it look like I actually have some ass. lmao tmi. Anyways the problem with this guy is, like everyone says, he's ballsy! Too ballsy. The size of the shaft and all is beautiful, wonderful. But damn the balls are wayyyy too huge for the rest of the packer. This thing is like 60% balls honestly. And that's where the problem lies dormant. 

First of all, in jeans. In jeans and shorts that aren't basketball or any type of flowy shorts, this guy is wonderful. Wonderful until I walk out of the car and into Target where the packer itself has managed to turn completely sideways! I've heard one other person talk about this problem with this specific packer before. But then again, I find my hand in my underwear trying to fixate it to one spot. It works like that, like a cycle for the rest of the day. I give it around 30 mins until I feel like I really have to fix it.

But those are in jeans. Shorts and sweats are a different story. In sweats they make an obvious bulge, again because this guy is super ballsy. Everytime I'm lounging at home or with my girl in sweats or basketball shorts, It always looks like I'm up for action. Literally. I'm still sorta having this problem. Again, it takes some getting used to. And it always depends on you and what's comfortable to you. So far I think I'm getting the hang of it, finding the correct and most comfortable position anyways. But it's only been two weeks time for me, and I'm sure that's nothing compared to the 17 years I've lived without a penis. So of course it's going to take a lot of time to get used to it. Don't get frustrated and think that this packer is terrible, I mean it might be for you, but give it some time and don't give up on him. It's all trial and error. Trial and error.

So in terms of comfortableness? 6/10 mates. For now anyways.

This is just the etc. portion of this review. This guy tends to emit an odor. I mean what wouldn't after being all up against your sweaty junk all day? No surprise. But this guy's odor is strong, for me anyways. (A little embarrassing yeah, but I'm not the only one with this problem from what I've seen.) My previous body wash didn't serve well in masking the smell. The one I have now definitely does a spectacular job with it. So yknow, I recommend trying out different soaps and stuff for your packer. I just wash it in the shower with me so, I'm not sure what temperature it's best to wash it in. This guy also gets real sticky afterwards, so yknow dusting it off with the powder stuff or cornstarch should work, but personally I skip this step. (Not sure if that's a good idea or not, haven't exactly done my research on that.) I think the stickiness allows it to stay in place more than when it's not. Remember, washing and caring for your packer is important and vital to it's health and longevity!

More stuff here:

I have taken this to the pool and to the hot tub. So if you wanna know how that went, keep on reading.

I was worried about the pool because of chlorine, although I've heard it's perfectly fine for the beach's salt water. Someone said it was perfectly fine in the pool so I went in with it. I wore regular swimming trunks, ones with the net in it. I also didn't wear underwear because I totally forgot to pack some (the pool was at my friend's place). Luckily for me the net in the trunks were elastic, sorta like a hair tie but not that tight. Tight enough to keep my junior in place while I swam around. I stayed in the pool for about an hour, occasionally getting out of the water. It handled just fine. Personally it really helped with dysphoria when swimming. Because the bulge was there to show that I'm just a male swimming with a shirt on.

10/10 in the pool.

The hot tub, I was a little hesitant with. Because I've read the you shouldn't boil this dude. Probably because it'll melt into a pile of goo. But you know, I went in anyways. Maybe around 30 mins in total? The packer was totally fine despite the hot tub serving its purpose, being hot. I don't suggest sticking around for more than an hour though, but what do I know?

8/10 for the hot tub!

 I hope this was helpful! I don't regret buying it though. A good first time packer, good for the price too. I know finding your first packer is hard, but tbh you won't know whether you like it or not until you actually buy it! Good luck.

If you have any questions please ask.

[pfreadsandwrites]

Ooh thanks for this detailed response!! I'm posting a read more too cuz it's too long for a reply lmao but basically thank you for your thoughts and i totally get where you're coming from <3 i didn't really want to get into my own opinions when i replied to your post but now i feel like mentioning them a little.

Ah I'm really glad you said all that. I absolutely love how much thought and research you've put into this!!

One thing that kinda grinds my gears (that I know shouldn't), and doesn't apply just to Naruto but I'ma talk about Naruto right now, is how divorced the fandom's awareness sometimes feels from the Japanese culture that intrinsically informs Konoha (and the rest of the Narutoverse broadly but definitely Konoha especially) and I've read modern AUs set in Japan not just for Naruto but for other fandoms where the people all... behave and have the values of (white) westerners and it's very clear that there's just no thought given to cultures outside their own beyond some surface level things.

it just kills the immersion for me a little, even if I totally recognise the right they have to write whatever they like and interpret a story and canon however they like. I'm not saying that I expect writers to get everything right, either, but it becomes very obvious sometimes that a writer has a very limited perspective, and sometimes that's not even their fault, because many times it's something you're not even gonna realise, but yeah. I've had that even with one particular reader of something I wrote, where she got mad at the ideas i was grappling with because she frankly couldn't understand why this thing was important in the culture i was exploring and that bothered me a LOT.

BUUUT I'm also definitely not saying people should be 'called' out or anything, and I think writing western AUs is also 100% fine, I'm just saying it totally makes me happy to see someone also pay attention to the culture that informs the show, because it's there for a reason and I also agree it's important, and to see you put so much thought into this cuz it's something I'm used to seeing be taken for granted, and maybe it's my exposure to wildly varying cultures and backgrounds, but I'm just a little sensitive to it.

I'm just saying I really appreciate all your hard work and all the work you've done into thinking about this.

also the idea that you're basically creating your own version of organised crime with the sannin is super cool, i really marvel at your imagination and creativity.

i can't wait to read more of your fic <3

OH. OH.

i forgot to mention.

the undercover name of MC in scent of a camellia is a reference to a real-life female warrior.

Nakano Takeko was a gloriously badass samurai who commanded a unit of female warriors during the boshin war (a civil conflict fought in japan in the 1800s).

SHE AND HER FAMILY ARE EXTREMELY COOL AND I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU LOOK INTO HER LIFE MORE IF THAT SORT OF THING INTERESTS YOU.

(i tweaked the first name to takiko mostly because i like the name & its meaning a lot, but also because i thought using the full name of a famous female samurai would be a little obvious in a role that’s meant to be “undercover.” 😂)

that’s all. thanks for letting me ramble.

[becesswonderwall]

Rough day! But here’s one of the thousand photos I have, that can make me smile in some ways and be grateful!

Still thank you for everything. For the code! Sa makagets lang. Ganun pa din kasi siguro tlga katibay friendship namin. This was taken Saturday, 9/14/19 with beshie which I blur her muna dito hihi, sorry beshie. But I focus my selfie alone muna😬 just for this time. Showing how the days...being around by only you beshie, made me smile! Thank you for always being there. Coz. Never thought that even in codes in someone's special day I'm included daw. Should I assume? Coz there was an ate girl kasi kng makapersist at mang issue ng obvious. Oo na. I've been too black and red, and emerald green lately, and so what when roses and sunflowers and yellows are my favorites? So what? (Nabasa lang writings ko may meaning agad?) Gusto ako maging assuming ni ate girl just like her...eto tlga si ate girl dko alam kelan tatahimik. Someone is having a brand new life, they're blessed by God and everyone and including me... Pero si ate girl pnpersist pa niya. Kaya okay nlng (?!). Oo nga noh (naniwala naman ako...my smirked faces.☺) I remember tuloy when that someone just got newly "D"ed... They've been messaging me about it. So what? Why should I care? I told myself. I respect that person's personal life, esp matters like that are sensitive. I would never try to "makialam" like ate girl and others doing...kung makialam ng buhay ng iba, wagas. I remember a song... I think that someone even heard me singing it before (had sung it because of hearsays): "I didn't ask, they shouldn't have told me... At first I laughed but now... It's sinking in fast, whatever they sold me... But, baby... I don't wanna take advice from fools... I'll just figure everything s cool... Until I hear it from you (till I hear it from that person kasi mahirap na mangassume, unless stated. Galing sa taong yun. Nvr believed it at first. I even lawyering like the bond of the two lalo na nalaman ko the former was my third cousin. I wanna protect them. Yes ayaw ko tlga maniwala coz I also saw a recent post of the former spending holidays with the family of her's former fams. But we got a chance on very slight messaging with the friend of mine, oo daw. Then I was like I felt bad for that person. Really... I didn't insist comforting or offering unsolicited attention, etc not anymore and of course unless asked, plus I'm type of a person that has a mentality "let's give people time to be sane." Now until the recent special event. Alhamdulillah. Finally, I'm happy para sa tao. No slightest grudge attached.) It gets hard, when memory's faded... And who gets what the say... It's likely they're just jealous and jaded. ( I told myself... Because I'm still a friend who will still protect someone's personal sanctity. Even if I can't be a friend anymore or supposed to be included or be a friend around in their present life. Or the status thing...kasi iba na. Diba? Gets.) But whatever meaning of the colors/motifs they're wearing on that special day. Why should I care? Maybe coincidence Lang. Or if not, and si ate girl na nakikialam lagi if tama, because I had some surveillance requests totally unknown people I accepted which now revealed to be connected with the poof and magic B!, well I'm grateful. It only means good. Our friendship is that strong even only in the air. Alhamdulillah. If all that are really true then woah!!! I have very very veryyy long hair and I need to cut some!♀‍💇🤖 If people still think of me on their special day...alhamdulillah. Ü Maybe. Truly. There's a strong friendship or special people in everyone's life that just cannot be forgotten and still admired or remembered even on special days. Well again, I'm very very very glad. Alhamdulillah. Ü They will always remembered for me as good people. Especially sis Hice0303. I super miss sisko so much. Hope one day magkabonding din kami just like before and it's guilt free now. There'll be no more issues. It's all a fresh start. For good for everyone of us. In shaa Allah. Alhamdulillah.✨

And that's why I'm trying to bring back the positivity without tension. Showing how keeping forward towards life for all of us is a blessing. A mercy from Allah. (And only that sorry for my untimely barging in suicidal thoughts sometimes, ever since I'm like that kind of a person. Yes hoho. Poor me.😣 But some friends says it's okay maybe to feel what I feel, because maybe I should be grateful for having a soul of Umar Ibn Al khattab every time. For a great sadness and fear of not pleasing the Almighty in anyway I know. None of their other friends daw to have soul like mine that's why they always see me as truly precious in them. Naks.😬 Sometimes napapagaan loob ko pagnaririnig ko yun sknla. Hope Allah will always forgive us all. Ameen.)

Hope too all of them, family and friends, and the newly weeded😂 (for fun only the weed) will always include me in their prayers.

Ameen.❣💌

[sneezerodent-blog]

Here you are little chickens, chapter five. I might eventually find a regular posting schedule, but I'm kinda playing it by ear :/ People in the Void Chapter five Warnings: none Word count: about 1.8k Jillian looked at Haley as she laughed hysterically, before her chuckles turned to sobs. She didn't know what to do or to say. “Uh…” Jillian just stood there until Haley stopped crying. “Sorry.” she said, her hands shaking. “I don't know what happened.” Haley took a second to wipe her eyes and calm down. Jillian watched her, wanting to know what happened, and how she could help. “So…” Jillian wrapped one of her arms around her waist. Haley sniffled a bit. “.... Thanks. For getting me out of there, I mean.” “No problem.” “......” “......” “Sorry to interrupt…. Am I interrupting?” Tumblr asked, making the two of them jump. “No of course not.” Jillian said. Haley still looked wary of the voice, and didn't answer. “There are more of them down there. I understand if you do not wish to return at the moment, I just thought I would inform you.” “I think for now I'm just gonna help Haley get settled.” “Wait what?” Haley asked. Jillian waved into the darkness, not even sure if Tumblr could see her from there. Then she grabbed Haley's wrist and pulled her along. Suddenly the way Tumblr was set up made sense to Haley. She saw people mingling, talking to each other through private messaging, or reading posts on the dash. A few people were posting at special stations along the walls. “Ooh, that's Dan and Phil!” Haley said, looking at a gif-set that moved across the floor. “I like their stuff.” “Yeah? I do too!” Jillian replied, looking thoughtfully at the other girl. “What kind of stuff do you post?” Haley questioned, looking at the dash. Jillian blushed. “I mean, you can read what I do if you want. It's a little weird.” “I would love to!” Haley replied. Jillian led her over to where her posts were gathered. Haley opened the first chapter of arp, and started reading. Soon she was finished with all the available chapters. “Wow, that was so good! When are you writing more?!” Haley animatedly asked. Jillian blushed again; she always did when someone complimented her work. “I always post on Saturdays.” Jillian told her. Haley jumped up, something bothering her. “I go out the way I came in, right?” she asked Jillian. “Uh… yeah. It's just over there.” Jillian pointed to the blank blue wall at the top of the dash. “Thanks!” Haley ran out right away. Jillian watched as she ran away, a small smirk taking over her face. ----------------- “So what's with you and Haley?” Anon asked Jillian one day. The two of them and ~Red were lounging around on Tumblr, watching the people walked past. Jillian hadn't seen Haley that day, but she was hoping to. “Yeah!” ~Red added. “What's going on?” Jillian asked, having not paid either of them any attention. “You. Haley. What's up.” Anon said. “We're just friends.” Jillian stated. It was true, after all. They had been hanging out whenever they met in Tumblr, and Haley drew a few drawings based on her stories. She had told Jillian that she wanted to post them on Tumblr as soon as they rescued another person with the pen. “Mhm. That's what they always say.” Anon replied sassily. Jillian blushed. “What are you talking about?” she exclaimed, staring her friend down for an answer. “You know exactly what I'm talking about. You even write about it!” Anon pressured. “Yeah! But this isn't like that, we’re just friends!” Jillian said. Just then Haley popped through the wall, cutting their conversation short. “Hey guys!” Haley said. She towered over most of the other people she passed, as she was 6 feet tall. And she was proud of it. “Hey Haley!” Jillian said, rising to greet her friend. Anon gave her a look behind her back that Jillian didn't see. ~Red just snickered. “Are you ready to go?” Haley asked. She and Jillian were planning to go find another person with the pen if they could that day. “Of course!” Jillian couldn't help thinking how cute Haley looked. But just because she was a beautiful individual, she wasn't attracted to her. Yes, that was it. ~Red and Anon didn't know what they were talking about. “Have fun you guys!” ~Red exclaimed as they walked away. Jillian looked back and saw Anon looking at her suspiciously, and ~Red waving excitedly. Jillian blushed again and looked away. “Jilliancares, haleykinz. It's nice to see you again.” Tumblr said when they reached the edge. “Hey. So, how many people are still in the darkness?” Jillian asked, wanting to get right to business. “Quite a few.” “We can get 'em out, right Jillian?” Haley asked. Some of her curls fell in front of her face, and Jillian stared for a moment. “Oh yeah, yeah!” Jillian said, shaking her head. How could she keep getting so distracted? “Go right on. I'll have to shut down for everyone else, though.” Tumblr told them. Then the voice disappeared. “Okay, how do we do this?” Haley asked. “We literally just fall in.” Jillian replied. Tumblr went dark, and silent. “What was that?” “Tumblr just shut down. It does that.” Jillian reassured her friend. Something grabbed her wrist, but it was just Haley. She found Jillian's hand, and Jillian gave her a reassuring squeeze. “Ready?” “Yeah.” -------------------- “How did you find your way through this place?” Haley asked, peering at the long hallways of doors. Jillian shrugged. “It took /forever/.” Jillian replied, before starting to walk down the forever hallway. Haley lagged behind, looking at every door like Jillian had when she first came here. “How many of these people do you think are hipster blogs?” Haley asked randomly. “Uh… I dunno. I guess they have their own part of Tumblr where they do their own thing.” Jillian suggested. “Yeah, maybe.” C. D. E. “Hey, is this normal?” Haley asked, making Jillian stop. She was way behind Jillian, looking at something on the wall. “What's up?” “This door is blue. That's not normal right?” Haley asked again. Jillian jogged over and looked at the door. “Yeah, this is totally different.” The golden scrawl on that door said ‘drawings’ in the same swirly font. Haley cautiously pushed open the door. “Whoa….” The room was big, and neither of them could see the other side. They couldn't see the ceiling either. People wandered around, toting carts of supplies. Paintings and drawings covered the walls. Ladders led to the higher parts of the walls. A few computer desks were scattered randomly, with those who drew digitally attracted to them. “Uh… how do we get them out of here?” Jillian asked. Haley didn't answer; she was too enthralled by the room. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the drawings on the walls. “Haley?” No answer. “Haley?!” She finally turned to look at Jillian. “Yeah, what's up?” “How do we get these people out of here?” “I dunno. Where can I get one of those carts?” “Why do you want one?” “Why else would I want one?” Haley wandered away, acting as if the answer to her question was the most obvious thing in the world. Jillian stared after her, feeling a bit peeved. “Haley!” Jillian finally convinced herself to go back for her friend. It had taken her a while of contemplating to decide if she wanted to walk away or stay there. But while she was thinking Haley walked out of sight. Jillian stalked through the room, growing angrier as she went. What was Haley thinking? She knew why they were supposed to be there, why was she wandering off? “There you are! Finally!” Jillian exclaimed, pulling Haley around to face her. It was kinda hard. Haley was strong when she wanted to be. “What do you want?!” Haley snapped, pulling her arm out of Jillian's hand. “You know what I want!” Jillian hissed back. She didn't know why she was getting so angry, but she wasn't going to let it go. “No. I really don't. Why don't you tell me and I will.” Haley said, calmly but with and icy edge. “We're here to save these people!” “No one is gonna want to be saved when you have that attitude!” “Maybe if you actually paid attention to what we're supposed to be doing I wouldn't be having this attitude!” Jillian stomped away, unable to handle the conversation anymore. She stormed all the way to the door and out into the hallway. She made it about three rows of doors before realizing what she was doing was ridiculous. Jillian decided to go back and apologize. She had been a jerk, and if they just talked about it, maybe she and Haley could get back on track. So she went back in the door. As soon as she entered she didn't feel like it anymore. “I shouldn't​ have to be sorry. Haley was the one who was leaving, she should apologize to me!” Jillian mumbled to herself. She slammed the door behind her again, and felt a lot better. As Jillian stepped in and out of the room, it began to dawn on her. The room was making her feel upset! She had to get Haley out of there while she could. “Haley!” Jillian yelled, as she ran through the endless room. “Here to yell at me again?” Haley asked. She had a paintbrush dripping green paint in her hand, the beginning of a drawing sprouting on the wall. “Haley, we've got to get out of here.” Jillian said. “What, you're not even going to apologize?” Haley asked, glaring down at Jillian. “Well… I'm sorry, I was being a jerk. Can we talk about this more outside?” “Oh now you're sorry!” “Haley! Just shut up and leave with me!” Haley rolled her eyes and turned back to the wall. Jillian felt herself growing angrier again. “Haley, I swear I will leave this place without you.” Jillian threatened, pulling for strings that weren't there. “Fine. This place will be better without you.” Haley stated. Jillian took a step back. She thought they had some sort of relationship going, but that was how Haley really felt. No, it was just the room. It wasn't​ Haley's fault. “Haley, this room is making you irritable! I don't think we're going to get anyone out of here.” Jillian said. “I don't care. Just go away!” That was it. Jillian grabbed the plate covered in paints Haley was using and dipped her hand in the colors. She reached up to where Haley was painting and smeared the rainbow across the wall. “Jillian!” Haley yelled, dropping her paintbrush. Jillian wiped her hand off on a blank piece of wall and turned to her friend, or who she thought was her friend. She didn't really know anymore. “Why would you do that?!” Haley asked. She looked sincerely hurt. “Because you're not listening to me!” Jillian replied, doing her best to stay upset. “Fine! What do you want?!” “We need to get out of here!” Haley looked at Jillian suspiciously. “And why do we need to do that?” “Because this place is weird! It's making you feel angry. It's not your fault.” Haley still didn't believe her. “Just do it for me.” “Fine.”