#maybe it's 'cause i got kinda closure so now i can stop worrying about it

[ess-presso]

hi ess <3

lily best milf ever SO TRUE!!!! & i did see theinvisiblemuseum's art its SO good i love their art sm.

tay time! closure, out of the woods, & clean <3

and omg pink lemonade! i loved that fic it was so good. (im trying to get my fic rec for u but AO3 IS DOWN RN. UNBELIEVABLE!! ill have one for next time i promise)

chatting time <3

having a pic of a pigeon as a souvenir from a trip is pretty funny tbh. imagine travelling across the world and the only thing u brought back was a single photo of a kinda-ugly bird.

podg ben & dune timmy❤️ im so excited for the next dune film purely for more scenes editors can use for reg. like yes i like the dune series but im a simple woman. i have priorities.

medium well on an exam is better than medium bad !! i think its a cause to celebrate. also i hate it when everyones talking about the answers they got and u got something completely different. i start panicking so bad.

we truly did win the bff lottery. get urself a friend who brings u food in the rain and dances in the kitchen to jazz with u or threatens to send u to a mental hospital. theyre rare.

tbh kentucky seems like the kind of place to have colonel sanders just everywhere. thats their pride and joy he must be displayed. i bet they have tons of kfcs too.

L & E AND L & B FTW!!! so real. and u have a marriage pact? thats so cool. liv has a long term bf so we dont but if i asked her to she might leave him so. i did have a marriage pact with another good friend but she moved away </3

and omg i hate condescending people sm. they piss me off so much like STOP UR NOT BETTER THAN ME!! especially if shes asking if u know what a computer processor is like girl who cares there are bigger things to worry about i promise.

LIKEAFUNERALL'S XENO>>>>> pandora was winning fr.

gary oldman and timmy in the same video = literal jumpscare. and yes ive seen that pic of ben & andrew and i literally cried. i thought it was edited at first but it wasnt and i cried . #wolfstar

a hozier concert would fix me and i truly believe that. also my entire tiktok fyp is just edits with work song now?? like how does it know we were talking abt that song on here. i fear tiktok is spying on me .

and omfg. i have seen the jesus/judas edits. at first they were really funny like why are people making jesus fancams.....but then they got like actually kinda sad and i felt bad for jesus. like sorry u had shitty friends man . i promise ur really popular nowadays </3

i swear harry is being americanized. he spends so much time there hes forgotten his roots and that the rest of the world exists. like why does he need to do several shows in la or nyc when he can travel elsewhere !!

i dont trust people who dont scream cruel summer ESPECIALLY "he looks up grinning like a devil" like its a scream-or-nothing situation.

piss & gladiators <3 sorry rome but its true. maybe i can fit something else in there. rome, the eternal city of piss , pickpockets, and gladiators.

u should totally give them detentions. abuse ur power. especially if theyre making u late to exams?? so rude of them tbh.

i hate being full named sm. luckily im the one who full names liv and not the other way around so i can live in peace <3

im always seeing art with lil baby harry calling remus his uncle moony and it KILLS me every time. :((

also omg "dumpydumpster"..... fuck that old man fr.

book lovers>anyone else!!!! i cant imagine being with someone who doesnt know who remus lupin is its just not happening.

yes chess!!! every time i play i channel all my beth harmon from queens gambit energy. even if i lose it doesnt matter im still slaying.

u know putting down an answer for every question on ur exam is all that matters !! its better than nothing and i live by that.

annotating books for each other>>> i had a friend and her and her gf annotated sappho's poetry for each other. it was so fucking sweet i wanted to cry.

and hozier writing a song abt u?? literally my cause of death. get urself someone who will write a beautiful song abt u <3

i wanna go to portugal so bad. i looked up the sanctuary of our lady fatima and it looks so peaceful <3 i love old churches tbh they always have such a nice calming vibe. and omg algarve?? that looks SO NICE!!! i need to be at a beach there rn. and all the food sounds so good. im so hungry now.

oh what id give to have james' no-hangover power......that should be me.

the ship name moonwater kills me cause like why are we using reg's cause of death😭 give him a break !!!!!

omg secondary house slytherin!! welcome <3 & the only reason i have so many patronuses is cause i was unsatisfied with the first few so i retook the test a bunch LOL. i figured raven was good enough so i left it at that.

dairy queen <3

"ex gifted kid now try hard" SO TRUE!!!! why cant things just be easy now .

omg timmy tim at the oscars! if i see two timmys this year ill know whats up.

american chocolate is SO GROSS like i know canada has a lot of american chocolate too but at least we have SOME european chocolate thats actually good.

sadly the snow is pretty much gone :( it rained and now its just mush. bad day for snowmen enjoyers.

wait thats so funny to have a taller georgie i love it. and a shorter clown thats hilarious id laugh so hard

killing barty is so funny to me. like yes i like him but yes he absolutely deserves it.

ill make liv get that tattoo even if its the last thing i do idc.

hoarding nail polish and lipstick> so real of u. my nail polish collection is way too excessive and some colours are just Not it. like girl why do u need 3 different browns theyre so ugly.

that quote kills me every time i read it ( i had to read that play for a class and it was like a slap in the face fr.)

mskingbean knows whats up. and omg yes little women references<3333 they take me out every time i read them.

seeing seth rogen & john mulaney was really weird but u know whats weirder? seeingf the entire riverdale main cast walk by only for a literal train of teenage girls run after them. im not kidding it was so funny.

humpty dumpty party mix is a such a funny name ur so right actually. it even has a little humpty dumpty egg guy on the bag i love it <3

omg lover being ur first dance song <3 its the perfect song for that fr. but yes rep is perfect for when ur needing to feel like a criminal !!

fr seeing the parthenon changed my life. i need to go back or ill perish.

i think harry would be proud if he knew i came out to his song tbh. but lu figuring u out? SO REAL. liv already had her suspicions and after the crying told me i radiate "potent bisexual energy" so.

r(edge) 4ever idc. it just sounds sm better.

AHAHA va fa napoli kinda is a swear, it doesnt actually have a bad meaning but it basically sounds like "vaffanculo" which means basically "fuck you" or "go to hell". & omg wanting to learn swedish for young royals MOOD!! i took french throughout all of primary school and im still shit so. bad canadian over here

ur qs

being a gold digger is so real of u. i support this endeavor.

lily evans is such marriage material its not even funny!!!!!

SIX LANGUAGES!!!!! THATS SO COOL!!!!! we got the rosetta stone over here people. i had a friend who was gonna teach me some hindi but she moved away

topaz obsidian & amethyst <33 all so cool.

u should totally watch it, its so good. the last episode where that quote was from was genuinely the most heartbreaking and beautiful episodes of television ive ever watched like ever. it was so good.

forests <333 love myself a nice lil sun dappled forest with woodland creatures wandering about. tbh where i live u can visit all 3 at the same time so i could never pick just one.

omg a hairdresser i love that. im actually my own hairdresser (ie i dont wanna pay for a professional so i just cut and dye it myself) i wanted to be a makeup artist but that dream didnt last long.

wait cancer thats actually cool. i dont think many people know much about how it works & biology is so fascinating sometimes. and yesss ofc platonic soulmates <333 we dont have time for superficial friends!!!

timmy and louis <3 (get louis away from grandma STAT!!!!) ofc flo and zendaya. excellent choices.

*gasps in spotify user* okay but to be fair apple music & spotify are like nearly identical at this point. i only use spotify cause i dont wanna move all my music to apple music itd take way too long.

i love canis major sm. and draco too its such a cool looking constellation.

AWW i love that sm. cant believe he danced better than u thats hilarious. he came to slay and to slay ONLY!!! and the toaster gift? thats so funny and sweet. i hope hes ready to slay again at the next wedding🕺

omg wingstop i want so bad too. they make it sound so good and i need to try it before it die. and omg birria tacos are SO good. highly recommend.

answering qs

ive got a few topics actually: the life of agrippina the younger (emperor nero's mother) and her rise and fall to power; the sociopolitical role of a woman in sparta versus athens; lord of the rings as a whole; the tragedy of star wars and the themes of hope and rebellion. oh and space! i love space and astronomy sm.

worst advice ive ever given: i accidentally helped someone get rejected💀 it was the guy who liked me on and off during high school, he liked this other girl for a bit and asked me what he should do, so i told him to be honest with her and tell her how he feels or else nothing will ever happen between them, so he did and she turned him down for being too forward. oops! at least hes not into women anymore.

worst advice ive taken: tbh ive got no idea. i can be a very paranoid person so when people give me advice i take extra care to think it through so ig ive managed to avoid shitty advice.

which element id be: bismuth bc its symbol is Bi <3 and its rainbow and cool. gay element fr.

undercover spy name: this is so lame but if we're going along the james bond theme id go with 008 cause my fav number is 8.

savoury or sweet: savoury forever. i love sweet stuff but its easy to get sick of it if u have too much.

fav friend: phoebe!! also monica but only bc im a clean freak like her & i also love to cook.

3 wishes: gimme a couple million dollars, the power to stop racism/homophobia, and an endless supply of pasta and im a happy girl.

how long id last in a zombie apocalypse: id like to imagine id be absolutely killing it out there but id probably freak out and die like right away. id at least try and be the best doomsday prepper i could possibly be but i cant even drive so i dont think im lasting long

fav stone: opal! biased bc its october's birthstone but its so pretty. i also love emerald cause thats my fav colour. also malachite. very pretty colour.

fav constellation: scorpio (again, biased. but its cool looking), canis major, leo, & lupus. i cant choose just one.

weirdest dream: i once dreamt that i had lunch with anne hathaway?? it was just a normal lunch. i think i had like mac and cheese or something. i woke up very confused.

worst dream: i once dreamt that i got pregnant and my mom kicked me out & when i woke up all i wanted to know was who the father was tbh.

best dream: i once dreamt that i was living my normal life but my soulmate was there and it was great. except they didnt have a face cause idk who my soulmate is but at least i got to have a dream about it.

timmy or ben: timmy. i love ben but timmy will always be it for me. lil timmy tim girl since day one💪

movie food: popcorn for sure but also reese's! sometimes gummy worms if they have them.

last text i sent: i told one of my friends to watch lockwood & co. on netflix. v fun lil ghost hunting show based on a book series, highly recommend!

last text i got: one of my old roommates said "im always thinking about morbius" like okay girl!

phone calls or text messages: text messages!! phone calls make me so anxious. text messages at least give u time to think of a response if ur anxious. phone calls are merciless and will expose ur antisocialness.

greek tragedy hero: i got achilles. not sure how i feel abt that but okay! (omg u got orpheus thats the best possible answer imo!!)

fav meme: idk if i have one specific fav meme but dumb tiktok humour gets me a lot. back in the day old vine humour was hilarious to me (def mostly cringey now but oh so nostalgic)

qs for u!

whats something on ur bucketlist?

do u have any hobbies?

fav app on ur phone?

least fav icks?

what would u do if u won the lottery?

do u believe in ghosts/the supernatural?

where can someone find u at a party?

go-to karaoke song?

whats the craziest thing youve ever done in the name of love?

if u had to lose one of the 5 senses, which would u pick?

early bird or night owl?

if u were stranded on an island, what 3 objects would u bring with u?

unpopular marauders opinion?

what would u do if u were the last person on earth?

fav number?

fuck marry kill: james, reg, lily.

whats one language u wish u were fluent in?

thats all for now <3

(also i realized these are always SO long & im prob clogging up ur page with my rambling so if u ever want me to stop just lemme know!!!)

-bee

hi hey hello bee :)))))

THEIR ART IS LEGITIMATELY TOP NOTCH IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD.

tay tay -

closure - JEGULUS - listen , I think it's literally James after they break up. like to me it's him 'seeing the shape of your name still spells out pain' I can so so so imagine that being him to Regulus after a long day and all he can feel is PAIN.

out of the woods - JEGULUS - claiming this song especially for my jegulus , but to me it screams of a pair of people (James and regulus) absolutely in love and one of them (regulus) trying so so hard not to be , but 'the monsters turned out to be just trees' and 'when the sun came up you were looking at me' - so so so them.

clean - LILY - ok at first I WAS thinking jegulus , but then I listened and I was like 'Lily Evans' like can you imagine???? her after finally telling Snape to fuck the fuck off , and feeling so much pain , but then one morning waking up and finally being 'clean' (side note - I forgot that u existed is also for them)

SKSKSK I haven't finished it yet - reading mental by sara_holmes - a legilmency drarry fic in which a miscast spell makes them hear each other's thoughts. ( also no. 'tis not okay. execute you.)

chatting :))))) -

pigeons are motherfuckin ugly and I would NEVER waste my camera storage on them. I'd literally rather take a picture of a rubbish bin. hate those pesky arse bastards.

YES YES YES oh my god I'm so excited for dune 2. it has Timmy , zendaya , Flo - literally a bisexual's DREAM cast (and also Austin butler??? I think???) can't wait to go there with the old lu and fucking watch every second ( he fell asleep in the last one.)

I celebrated by getting brownies !!!! nah , honestly when they do that , I'm all like 'keep ur gob shut u mf lepers' they have no common decency like DUDE can you let me fail in peace ???

kitchen jazz , walking through the ran and threats to go to the mental hospital <3333 how lucky we are :))))

they should have a colonel sanders statue like the one of Jesus in Brazil. like , I've said this before , but no one would KNOW Kentucky if not for kfc. and horses , I think. kfc and horses.

lelblelblelb !!! that's so rude of her she should break up with him immediately. pronto. see lu hasn't had a girlfriend in the entire time I've known him. so I'm thinking he'll still be a loner at 40. I might not be. (jk we both won't be. he'll find some girl and I'll find someone too!!! (said depressed because I haven't yet found someone) )

nah she's a bitch for real. but she's pretty. but she's a bitch. girl fuck your RAM and your motherboards. and there are so many bigger things to worry about. like global warming or whatever.

IK IK IK I LOVE HER XENO SO SO MUCH !!!! pandora was winning fr fr. (as was he. both are equally lucky to have each other)

I KNOW THAT MOMENT REALLY MADE IT FOR THE WOLFSTAR SHIPPERS !!!!!! like damn we made it happen. I just fuckin know it (so did we with the Timmy x Gary thing. like they for sure knew.)

hozier literally HEALS my soul. like he (and lu) are the only men ever <33 I think I'd be in fuckin tears if I ever went to a concert. (also same??? I got like three videos of Canadian glow coins ???)

Jesus/judas - nah I saw one of the Great War nd I fr was feeling for JESUS. like bro knew it was judas and he didn't say anything and ,,,, tragic (listen it may be blasphemous but I can so see like a Jesus/judas style marauders au. like it's so blasphemous. but it would be so good.)

BOY FORGOT HIS ROOTS. HE FORGOT THAT IT WAS US BRITS THAT GAVE HIM HIS CLAIM TO FAME. WITHOUT US HE'D NEVER 'GO AMERICA' THAT LITTLE BASTARD.

IT'S YOUUUU SHAPE OF YOUR BODY IS BLUEEE FEELING I GOT IS OOOOOH WOAH WOAH IT'S A CRUEEEL SUMMER (gotta go throw rocks at someone's window fr fr and have him look up 'grinning like a devil' like DAMN.)

piss , pickpockets & gladiators <333 London is the city of pigeons , rain and red buses. what's yours up there in canada??

I TOOK AWAY HOUSEPOINTS. IF THEY DO IT TOMORROW IT'S A LUNCH TIME DETENTION FOR THEM. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THOSE LIL BITCHES. full respect to the ones that keep out my way , love them.

it's so cool u can full name liv , because it's the other way round for me. like in a fully LOUD voice he full names me and I'm like 'fuck okay this shit serious'

and about lil harry and uncle moony I found this canary u might like (ac: letraspal)

I hate dumpydumpster so much. how dare u hurt my boy harry like that. (u bet I'm going to take it out on him in doa)

yes how am I supposed to be with u if u don't read. how are we supposed to keep each other silent company u don't fuckin read. and and remus lupin is god how can someone not know him.

CHESSSSS. I LOVE THE VIBES AND I'M GOING TO LEARN I SWEAR. and queen's gambit energy slays whether u win or lose. just saying.

except when the question is some astronomical shit and all u can think of is - damn. gonna pull a hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and go for '42'.

ANNOTATING SAPPHO'S POETRY FOR EACH OTHER??? THAT'S SO SWEET AND ONE OF THE MOST ROMANTIC THINGS TO EXISTS EVER ???? I WISH THEM NOTHING BUT THE BEST AND I HOPE THEY GET MARRIED FR FR.

ahhhh Fatima is my safe space.( and yes old churches on top. but there's an abandoned church like three streets away and it's like a horror movie style church. literally abandoned. posters from the war or some shit it's scary fr fr) and ALGARVEEEE algarve is home home. (the food is top-notch so I get u so hard) !!!

no same because hangovers are the reason Lucifer fell from heaven like wtf ???? (although lu does have a hangover cure , and if I'm the drunk one and he makes it I'm always at least 50% better. he a real one for that.)

THIS. EXACTLY. like moonseeker? at least do that?? give my boy a break okay like damn.

yes exactly like u better not stick me with shit like mole or rat or something u best believe I'm retaking that test. (thank u I feel welcomed indeed. but careful because I'm still a brave at heart.)

I want to go Dairy Queen.and wingstop. ESPECIALLY. wingstop.

got them chills from tmt like that song HITS HITS.

Timmy Tim and Tim Timmy <333

european chocolate is the only chocolate that should exist. ban American chocolates. (also cannot believed they banned kinder eggs. like wtf dude???)

that's annoying as fuck I hate when that happens. sue the sky.

EXACTLYYYY OH MY GOD. a taller Georgie and a shorter it and it was fucking hilarious. everyone complimented us and we were so proud!!!

yes like I like him in fics in canon he go fuck himself into the deep pits of the nether worlds.

YES, U DO THAT , I DO LU AND WE WILL CONVERGE AT THIS POINT WHEN WE SUCCEED.

I would just burst into tears. straight up.

mskingbean oh how I love her. lw references have my heart (literally going to write one in chapter 13. so excited.)

who the fuck would run after them. if it was me I'd be running away.

I WANT TO GO THERE. I WILL ONE DAY. ONE DAY JUST U WAIT.

nah that sounds like such a fun cute lil snack I love that shit.

harry would love that for u. liz and lu know what's up , they got their bisexual best friends , and now they're allied as fuck.

glad it's a semi-swear. that's so fun omg. also I also took French in primary and secondary and I still cannot speak more than 'je ma pellet' (not correct but u get it). Lu's a fluent frenchie though , so I always got him to do my French hw , and I'd do his English. fair exchanges , that way .

GOLD DIGGER STYLES !!!!!!

LILY EVANS THE WOMAN THAT SHE IS <3333333

THANK U I LOVE BEING MULTILINGUAL !!!! also why everyone of urs moving away. that's kinda sad. (I teach u Hindi. then u can watch Bollywood movies which HIT.)

OKAY OKAY I HEAR U I SEE U I'LL WATCH.

yes like picnics in the forests with little bunnies running around in the sun aahhhhh. (also not being able to pick is so fuckin real of u. like I get that so hard.)

I too am my own hairdresser ( I lied because I tried then just called lu to do it for me so TECHNICALLY he's my hairdresser but I digress) I'm gonna be honest here. glad u moved away from the make up artist dream because no way would I be paying 500£ for facial makeup like girl damn does that shit come with a free diamond necklace or something ???

I know I know I moan about it tonnes but bio and them are my THINGS. and oncology + cancer has always been a bit of an interesting thing to me. very cool to learn about . (and yes!! we take only diamonds of friends !!!)

GET LOUIS AWAY FROM GRANDMA. and straight to me. I could treat him right. ( all jokes I have one louis already (that's lu right there.) however I might abandon my louis for that louis !!!

Apple Music is just BETTER. sorry , bee , I shall never use Spotify. Apple Music is like the HD version of Spotify.

Canis Major (especially the alpha star wink wink) & Draco stay winning I love them so so much.

he SLAYED. he slays always he's so good at dancing makes me jealous fr. and yes a toaster , and I told him not to bother but he did. which , admittedly , very sweet of him.

one day many years in the future I shall brave America just for the wingstop. (now I want to eat those birria tacos so bad like god come in my mouth rn bbs.)

reviewing ur q's <333 -

THIS ALL SOUNDS SO INTERESTING ??? I AM SIMPLY IN AWE ???? also yess yess yess space and astronomy forever like looking through a telescope being there being real and just so .... ethereal. love that for us ex-astronomy bitches.

nah bro got done so bad he switched to the other side. now I wanna know if he's still getting done bad by the men. but u did what u had to , and it's really just his fault.

avoiding shitty advice like YESS YESSS DAMNNNNN I wish I could do the same.

bismuth for bi is so real. bisexuals for the winnnnn. I'd be polonium because I want to be a poison. dangerous as fuck.

008 sounds so cool , but 007 has a ring to it. like it just does. idk what I'd be. 007 is my go to. so double oh seven it is.

no literally I can never get tired of savoury stuff , but I can of sweet things. like no one ever gets it , but I'm absolutely right. (brownies are the only exception to this rule)

Phoebe and Monica !!!! my baes I love them so much !!! my favourite friend is joey. I aspire to be a loveable slut too <33

a couple MILLION???? I'd be shooting for the billions ??? bad one bee. endless pasta yesssss as u should !!! (and yes so noble of u to stop the world problems. such a good person !!!! )

nah same I'd be killing myself before any clown kills me. or I'd be like Eddie , survive till the second movie then die on the cusp of happiness.

OPALS ARE SO PRETTY THEY'RE LIKE MADE OF PARADISE I SWEAR. and I fucking love emeralds and malachite (idk what the last one is but I'm trying)

YESSS SCORPIO IS SO PRETTY TOO!!! Canis Major also a win yessss. and Leo. ahhhh reggie I love u . but not as much as sirius. but I love u. AND LUPUS OMG (makes note of sirius telling remus about his very own star)

idk what you're talking about having lunch with Anne Hathaway is perfectly normal. and Mac and cheese with the queen of Genova ??? stay winning girl , love that for u and ur funny little brain.

nah because same. I had a whole ass baby with someone , beautiful and blonde and it was a cute lil baby boy and I was such a happy mother then I woke up and I was sad ???? like bro u were never a mother LET IT GO !!! pregnancy dreams are weird as fuck. especially when u dk who the father was.

ahhh yess having your soulmate by your side yessss I love. I've had so many dreams but I never know who the person is. like reveal yourself heathen so I can find u and kiss you on the mouth.

yes ben barnes hits but not as hard as Timmy Tim Tim.

this movie food sounds lovely. once I took a whole steak too the movies. + Yorkshire puddings. (but its okay because cinemas here don't have ushers. ) and people around us were eating shit like fucking lobster. like idk what we were on but that movie everyone was eating high cuisine. (but I love a good box of smarties , nachos + gummy worms myself. ALSO THE RAZZLE DAZZLE CHOCOLATE BUTTONS. THE WHITE ONES.)

ooooh interesting. I've actually seen some ads for that shit , adding to my list rn. (my own last text was 'can I be the banker today' and u can very well guess who it was to)

yes girl ! go ! to therapy !! (the last text I got was 'YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT BEING THE BANKER. FUCK NO. I'D RATHER KILL MYSELF. )

no yes I so get this because same. there's literally only one person I'd ever phone call/ FaceTime (lu) and I'm on ft with him now (he's not being neglected it's like a mutual study session where I study and he studies and also makes sure I'm studying.

achilles ! wow idk how to feel about that myself. u better not lose your lover or else you will literally raze the earth. (and I better not lose mine or I'll lose them again)

no same there are so many good memes idk how to choose it's way too hard. this one is my favourite-

my q's !!! -

getting married and having a family. I know I know some people will say 'not very feminist' (fuck them feminism is about choice) and dw CAREER is still on top. but I know I'm going to do that shit. I want that true love type of thing. the kind where you look at someone and go 'yes. you. you're the one.' that kind. damn this shit got me sentimental as fuck. and I really just want that happily ever after with my person and I want to have a family too. AND A CAREER. but I'd do that on my own too. u get me ??

eating brownies. and baking brownies. and jazz dancing. but brownies and jazz. and also , obviously reading and writing !!!

probably Tumblr. everyone is so chill here I love it.

are u asking about my idk ?? like the one thing that a potential date or someone would do to turn me off immediately ??? I'll answer it like u are hold on. when he's a mummy's boy. (and I've had this experience specifically with a boy). like oh my mum doesn't like it when u do that. my mum doesn't want me to do that. my mum would do that for me why don't u. idk motherfucker maybe because I'm not your mum????? the fuck ??? go date her then ????

world trip with my best friend and buy a huge giant mansion and fucking have the time of my life. and donate to charity and stuff , obviously.

near the window next to the snack table eating a cracker and holding a can of coke and chatting to lu. (if sober) // if not sober then on top of lu piggy back style trying to unscrew the light bulb and saying it's too hot but getting cheered on also by the unsober crowd. true story. happens weirdly often ?? but I always ask for piggy-backs when drunk it's like ... a thing.

*coughs* *brushes lint off of jacket* *coughs again* I CAN'T LOVE YOUUUUU IN THE DARRRRRKKKKK I FEEEEEL LIKE WE'RE OCEANSSSSSS APARTTTTT.

hmmm. going to go for platonic soulmatism (sorry to anyone I've dated. I just haven't crazy things for u. u were nice though. some of u that is.) I put itching powder in the uniform of a guy on the rival hockey team (he'd fouled lu and he was all taunty and shit and I had it in my pockets only because we'd passed by a partica shop and I had to go inside to buy shit for a party and I was like 'damn itching powder this is fun'). rest be assured Lu's team did indeed win. (the guy had rashes on his face next time I saw him , which , not my fault because that's not where I put the itching powder ??)

speaking. I can write notes , I can hear music , I can see my peoples. I don't mind never talking again.

night owl. I love getting my shit done late and staying up till like late then going to bed and refusing to wake up ever. this is also another reason I get full-named by lu sometimes. he literally has had to wake me up by throwing shit at my window before.

Swiss army knife , first aid kit , and lu. if people are not allowed , then I say phone. call for emergency and shit. or if people aren't counted , then I say monopoly. maybe the imminent cause of death will make him let me be the banker.

listen this is very unpopular but -it's not misogynistic if people say 'lily potter' instead of 'Lily Evans' . like that was her name. people are fully allowed to call her that??? it's not unfeminist to take your husband's last name , and someone should tell them that. (not talking about when she isn't married to James or when she's younger. ) but u get what I mean. like let people live damn she is a potter. at least in canon.

kill myself. very simple. but I'd need lu at the very least. can't live on the earth without the best friend (very sirius x James . except sirius did live without James....) I'd straight up kill myself if he died. very dramatic , I know. but we go down together !

3. u might have seen the reblog on my blog of this number going everywhere. but 3 is very dear to me. I think I really hate 2 though. like that bitch can go die in a ditch somewhere. '23' is a close second (hello I was born on the 23rd)

fuck lily marry James kill reg. sorry reg but I'm pulling the 'they're good people' thing. but I still love you. but I love them more.

hmm. I do wish I was fluent in French. I think I'd love to understand half the shit lu keeps saying to me. and maybe I'd've got a better grade in my French exams in secondary school !

q's for uuuu -

are you a mirrorball or this is me trying ?

drarry or dramione (feel ashamed to ask but I feel like I should )?

one ship has to go - jily or regulus ?

wolf star or jegulus ?

craziest thing you've ever done in the name of love ?

craziest thing someone's done in the name of love for you?

funniest story you have ?

craziest rumour you've ever heard ?

bitchiest thing someone has ever said ?

harry or Hermione ?

dramione or romaine (again , obvious answer , but I still want to ask )?

(AND NEVER STOP RAMBLING !!!! I LIVE FOR THE RAMBLES!!! THEY ARE ALL VERY VERY DEAR TO ME I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. come back soon bee I will miss u too much <33)

[mettywiththenotes]

Izuku’s Emotional Neglect

Hi so I’m not okay because I keep thinking about Izuku

This kid has been emotionally neglected since he was little. Izuku has had NOBODY to rely on emotionally

He didn’t have Inko, or his classmates, or All Might. Actually, All Might is borderline the only one he’s confided in [since they talk briefly about their connection of being quirkless], but he still holds back

Inko is trying her best and no parent is perfect, I see that, but what she said to Izuku that fateful night damaged that boy and the way he saw himself.

He asks her if he can be a hero, and she cries and says she’s sorry. Not only does this imply that Izuku’s quirklessness is bad, it also implies that she was lying.

And by the way, I don’t mean that Inko ACTUALLY lied that Izuku could be a hero, nor do I think that she meant to mean his quirklessness was bad.

But I need, NEED, to stress that this is how Izuku sees it. This is how he would perceive it, subconciously.

If you’re a child and you think that you can be a hero, your parent encourages it because it makes you happy. But then suddenly you can’t be a hero, and you ask them one more time if it’s possible, hoping that those little wishes you made weren’t fruitless, that maybe somehow this is some kind of dream and she’ll wake you up from it with her smile and her warmth, promising that even with this newfound “disability” you can still be a hero, but instead she cries and apologises to you? That’s going to make you think. It’s going to make you think “Was she lying? if she truly believed in me, why would she cry and say she’s sorry? why isn’t she encouraging me, like she always does? what is happening?”

It’s not the truth, and Inko DIDN’T lie, but subconsciously I feel like it’s something that betrayed Izuku a great deal.

And with the quirklessness. He hates it, he hates feeling useless, and he saw himself as useless when he was quirkless, therefore -> quirkless is something weak and awful.

Time and time again, we see this evidence of the emotional neglect he was subjected to. It’s like actively ongoing and the effects of it are seen even now

We’ll start with the Inko one. I just mentioned it, but here are the panels. It’s really just the language that she uses

“You mean there’s something wrong?”

Apologizing over and over again, like not being normal was a bad thing. Moreso, I think this just meant that she knew how hard Izuku’s life was going to be as a quirkless person, but the way she says it makes it sound like what happened to Izuku was wrong and bad and incredibly awful

Then we have All Might disregarding his feelings and telling him straight up that he couldn’t be a hero

Which then leads to this commentary

“Don’t cry! Let it sink in!!” “Just block it out, just block it all out, just-”

*pats Izuku on head* You Can Fit So Much Denial And Repression Into This Kid!

Then further along, Izuku is seen, and he gets the quirk. He is then surrounded by people that love him, that want to help him, but it’s almost like even the narrative won’t let him have emotional closure.

In most emotional closure scenes (Tsuyu crying, Kirishima vs Rappa, Iieda in the hospital with Shouto and Izuku, Kacchan vs Deku 2), there is an end to it. The character is emotional, crying or upset, and thinking back on their regrets, spilling their guts as they scream, sob, or give solemn expressions. The other characters then cheer/hype them up, reaching some sort of conclusion to the character’s pain, and the situation is more or less resolved.

But that’s not the case with Izuku. He’s always left sorta hanging there, or his hurt and anger get sidetracked by something else. One example of this is the Running With All Might scene in the UA grounds

Izuku is incredibly upset that All Might chose to withhold information on Sir Nighteye and Mirio, and he speaks about how he can’t make sense of it. He’s voicing all his worries to All Might as they run, because he can’t stand the thought of All Might keeping something like this a secret from him.

And then All Might tells him why he kept it a secret, that he didn’t feel it was necessary to let Izuku know about Nighteye’s bias, and then it divulges into him telling Izuku he’s gonna die, and Izuku focuses on that instead.

I am NOT saying that All Might did this purposefully. He didn’t try and steer Izuku’s anger away from him, it was just that it all got revealed so suddenly, so the subject changed.

The narrative tosses Izuku’s feelings of anger aside, and instead Izuku gets emotional over All Might’s potential death. Idk man, to go from angry and upset about withheld information and then immediately shoved into the knowledge that your mentor-father figure is gonna die? That’s the narrative playing with Izuku’s feelings.

Obviously, All Might’s communication skills are awful and he just kinda unloaded all this stuff on Izuku cuz he didn’t think to tell him in the first place, but I still think Izuku’s feelings got pushed around here. He had no time to process any of it

Another example is the cafeteria scene with Shouto and Iieda

The scene goes that Izuku is visibly depressed by the Eri situation and Iieda and Shouto notice. They tell him that he can talk to them when everything gets too much [a parallel to the Stain fight], and Izuku cries. Izuku insists he shouldn’t cry, and Shouto tells him that, actually, Heroes cry too sometimes, and they offer him their food in an attempt to comfort him.

But the thing is, this scene doesn’t offer closure. Closure would be Izuku seeing that he could rely on his friends and telling them how he feels [he wouldn’t have to necessarily tell them about Eri - maybe just phrase it in another way that doesn’t reveal the mission]. Closure would be Izuku accepting that Heroes can cry too, and admitting he’s not okay. Instead, we have this

The scene feels... incomplete? Like there’s no knot at the end of the rope. Izuku is being comforted, but he’s not acknowledging his own feelings of sadness.

In fact, he’s shoveling food into his mouth to stop himself from crying, to shut himself up, to try and move forward and get past his little outburst.

I would go as far as to say this is self hatred eating, trying to quell that vulnerable part inside

I wouldn’t say Izuku HATES himself now. Rather, he just makes connections to his past quirkless self in his mind. It’s the negative emotion connection

Feeling weak? Well, you’re still like your quirkless self before! You’re still not good enough and useless!

Not strong enough? Sounds like back when you were quirkless! All weak and helpless! You can’t help anyone, which is why you need to get stronger, so you can move on from your past self!

Crying? Just like when you were quirkless! You always cried back then, like a helpless kid! You can’t be like that anymore, since you are now All Might’s Successor and A Hero, so stop crying! You’re not allowed to cry anymore!

Do you see what I’m getting at here? Izuku continuously represses these emotions as he gets stronger because he connects them to when he was quirkless. If you associate certain behaviors and emotions with how you were during a vulnerable and traumatic time in your life, you’re going to want to shove those emotions down so you don’t repeat what happened back then [in this case, Izuku sees himself being vulnerable as weak, and he saw himself as weak when he was quirkless, so he’s trying not to be vulnerable anymore].

And the scary thing is, now, we can even see the hatred in real time. I’m sure there are other examples in the manga, but one scene is very prominent in my mind, and it’s this one

Izuku is so incredibly strong now, he has saved many people, but he still can’t view himself as anything other than “useless” or “helpless” unless he powers through death itself just to break himself more. He almost feels like he HAS to do that in order to be seen as worthy, for himself and others. When he’s struggling, bleeding and heavily injured, he yells at himself as if it’s all his fault.

It’s not about whether he’s aware he’s actively dying or not. To him, being worthless and useless is infinitely worse than dying.

Actually, the way Izuku practically yells at himself in this panel reminds me of when he was walking home in chapter 1 after his chat with All Might [shown above when talking about All Might’s impact]

There are two translated versions of this actually that ring alarm bells in my head. There is the panel already pictured above, but I chose this panel too because I simply think it hits harder

“Don’t cry! You knew already, right?! This is reality...”

In either translation, he’s chiding himself. For crying. For being emotional.

And once again, I totally think this stems from emotional neglect. Trying not to get too personal here, but I know what this feels like, and I know the effect it has had on me. I can’t be vulnerable or spill my feelings in front of people, it just feels illegal or smthg. Like it shouldn’t be done. And like... if you’re taught from an early age that, one way or another, your feelings don’t matter and that nobody is going to pay attention to you, why try, right?

Then you just begin to Not Feel Properly, and you become incapable of expressing your feelings in a healthy manner

Current examples of this?

Izuku literally not giving himself time to process anything, like worry, grief, sadness. If anything, the only emotion he gives time for is anger. And he specifically directs it at All For One, cause that’s his target. [we saw little bits of this in War Arc but it also applies to the current arc]

He can’t cry. He feels emotional, sure. But he never lets his tears shed.

And one last bit of evidence

I’d say most if not all of these sound about right

In conclusion I wanna hug Izuku

[moonlightwritesdisney]

DREAM COME TRUE. -- WYATT LYKENSEN.

Paring: Wyatt Lykensen X FEMALE! READER

Requested: Yes / No

Warnings: foul language. nudity. graphic descriptions of blood and cannibalism. sexual activity. 

Summary: Weeks after your old elementary friend had finally vanished from all existence everything seems to finally go back to normal. Standing in a coffee shop you met him. And all hell breaks loose.

SEQUEL TO ‘YOU’.

PREVIOUSLY . . .

You were fashioned in the bathroom taking a warm cloth and bringing it towards your face wiping off the dried blood. You sucked in a breathe the sound of your beating heart filling your ears. You didn’t feel at all ashamed for what you had done. That bastard human deserved it.

The overbearing of your anxiety flared, you were worried you might get in huge trouble, since unfortunately, the human is never to blame. You had gone to bed that night in hopes for a better day the next morning -- the only problem was, he saw everything. 

THE DIRT BELOW HIS BROWN BOOTS became sore while he had previously been peering into your small window for the past five minutes watching you. Your brown pale skin covered in the blood that wasn’t your own. Your face dry and lips cracked from the crying you had done, you felt numb. Your heat besting rapidly in anxiety.

The mirror reflected your bruised image. The bags under your eyes were a dark purple, your eyes a dark brown with widened pupils ( a side effect of a broken Z-band which usually wears off after twelve hours ). Your sink water turned a bright pink as the last of his blood washed down the drain. Disappearing into the drain pipes.

Your mascara smeared down your cheeks, your nose and cheeks red and your eyes puffy. ‘Your going to kill him’. A selfish voice spat in his head, his sharp claws dug into the untouched flesh of his tan palm. He was furious.

How could someone so shameful have the power of destroying someone who was so innocent? She was a ray of pure sunshine. His sunshine. The pondering question he already knew the answer to racked the Alpha wolf’s brain. He couldn’t understand it.

You were so innocent. Baby like. His baby. He felt guilt.

A page pant of sadness washed over him. He had wished it was him, who could comfort you from what had just happened. ‘Shh baby it’s okay I’m here now, your safe, completely safe, I won’t let anyone ever harm you again, ever, never again. I am so sorry.

So sorry. So sorry.’ He had imagined you sobbing desperately in his chest the ache of your body he felt against his own skin, he’d stroke your arm softly and whisper sweet nothing in your ear.

He’d reassure you constantly, be their for you when having to deal with the gained trauma even after the act. He’d give you anything you needed. Leave you loving encouraging notes in your belongings. Hold you every night as you slept. Lock every door and window in the house.

He’d lay bare with you in bed for hours just to make sure his babygirl was okay. Although he couldn’t help blame himself. He knew that he couldn’t just burst into your house and save you from your attacker, even after the matter.

‘oh uhm yeah, I’ve totally been watching you for months, that includes changing, and showering, and well... pleasing yourself too.

I’ve seen it all, and uhm I’m kinda in love with you too so I mean that’s a plus, uhm I know literally everything about you, how you are very persistent in organization and you hate cheesy romantic comedies.

How you’d just want to stay up until three a.m. reading a book about truce crime. How you can girl over the most underrated music artists and how you hate a guy that plays dumb in the most basic way. I know you absolutely hate roses anything I’m missing?’

He chuckled at the image of you stunned. He knew more about you than you knew yourself. How you’d jump into his arms, the feeling of your skin against his. Your soft lips brushing against his neck. He’d want it all.

That would immensely creep you out. His intention would to never make you uncomfortable. So the pain only grew worse. Not being able to call you by your name. Hold you. Take in the surreal beauty that was Y/N.

His white fangs pressed against his bottom teeth. His blood boiled to the brim. He wanted to make that disgusting human pay for what he did. His stomach twirled in mixed emotion.

He so badly wanted to hold you in his chest and comfort you, but some things have complicated consequences.

In the low midst of the night he kept a sharp eye on the human who groggily made his way down the deserted dirt road, stalking the weak being beneath the depths of the dark forest.

Small boots could be heard from miles stretched along the black canvas of the open air, the human male scanning his surroundings for some place to rest or.. a possible shortcut that could lead him home.

Wyatt licked his dry lips breathing out slowly watching the human stand in the clearing with curiosity. ‘Kill him’. ‘He deserves to suffer for what he did’. ‘Y/N’. ‘Think of Y/N’. ‘Gut him’.

The imploding thoughts trying to take control of him. His pupils shrunk and turned a bright yellow his fangs grew from the K-9’s in his mouth. He breathed heavily and beast like trying to regain his composure. Sure, he thought of you.

How you would’ve told him ‘this is dangerous and could get you caught by wolf patrol don’t’. But, the monster side of her would’ve agreed with him. Could’ve given into the impulses.

Could’ve joined in on the eccentric thrill of gutting a human to their bones watching as blood came spitting out of their body, falling limp to the ground and squirming like a dead rabbit, until their last breath leaves the closure of their lungs.

But he bit down on the inside of his cheek hard and shoved the impulsive thoughts aside. He caught attention of the human stepping through the clearing, Wyatt swiftly disappeared behind a tree. (Thank his wolf stealth.)

He watching closely behind the large oak as the midnight sky lit up with thousands of glowing stars the bright moon floating still. His feet crunched under the small wood chips and loose dirt, which made Wyatt’s right ear twitch occasionally. 

The human was lost, he had reached up to a large clearing in the middle of the forest ‘maybe this will be a quicker way home’. He thought to himself as he squeezed his way through the thick pine trees that scratched his face and dark leather. Little did he know he wouldn’t be going home.

An owl called in the distance alarming the human. Shrugging it off he walked a few more feet bonfire stopping in the middle of the clearing an eerie feeling began to set it and shake throughout his body. Wyatt quickly ran behind the large oak tree causing the bushes to rustle.

The human quickly threw his head around to the source of the sound, Wyatt felt his heart pace quickly , quicker as each second passed.

The moonstone laid on Wyatt’s chest grew a bright blue his sharp K-9s’ growing to a slick point and his eyes glowing a bright deeming yellow.

A low growl erupted from his stomach the animalistic nature taking grasp of his human side. The human caught sight of a dark shadow peeking out from behind the tree. He bolted the other direction.

His breathing paced as his nimble legs carried him the south west end of the dark dreary forest. Mud crushed under his boots his lungs burning and heaving out of exhaustion. Wyatt was faster. He dodged past trees and bushes running at almost fifty miles.

His leg got caught on a sharp tree ranch nearby he knew that whatever was out to kill him was going to make it quick. He was scared. He pulled with force which caused the branch to cut into the soft flesh of his leg, blood seeped through the blue denim and into Wyatt’s nostrils.

Jumping over large rocks and the bushes he caught up to the human quickly grabbing him by his jacket he pushed to human to the ground and used the force of his arms to hold him in a pin.

The human breathed heavily his eyes widened in fear “please .... don’t hurt me”. He spoke weak like it was an excuse to let him go. Wyatt’s eyes glowed his lips formed a deep snarl.

“Let you go? And what, you continue raping other innocent women”. He whispered a deeply distorted voice replacing Wyatt’s usual calm manner. The monster had completely taken over. The human whimpered and squirmed like a dead animal.

A scream left the human’s mouth and soared above the trees as Wyatt bite deeply into the salty flesh. The blood was warm a large chunk of his skin hung off of Wyatt’s mouth before he spit it out discarding it.

The human grunted and moaned in pain shooting out lines of foul words. Wyatt smirked as he straddled the humans hips in place allowing him to not move.

In panic the human began to wail his arms, the young wolf felt his heart erupt in his chest. The watched as the human wailed in half death, he felt evincible.

The blood squirted and poured out of the human’s uncared wound. The blood tasted sweet in his mouth, a true delicacy.

About fifteen minutes after he threw the discarded bones into a six feet deep ditch he had dug after killing the human.

His mouth, arms, and clothes all drenched in the human’s bodily fluids and chunks of his flesh on his chest.

He smelt foul. He knew he did. He wanted to make sure you were okay but couldn’t come to you smelling like this.

He had walked the path he knew like the back of his hand spotting the small watering hole, he stood at the shore of the small lake the moon glowing brightly over him.

Taking off his fur coat he stripped himself of his purple hoodie before slowly bringing up his white tank top over his head revealing his broad v line, toned abs and chest stained with blood.

Unclasping his jeans he slide them down towards his knees kicking off his boots and white socks. Then came his boxers.

He engulfed himself in the lake slowly, it was freezing cold but was used to it. The water has risen up to the middle of his waist, he began to vigorously rub off the dried blood splashing cold water in his face and arms.

Dipping himself under the cold lake he rushed up and breathed out coughing. Moving his wet hair out of his face he caught sight of a dark shadowed figure that stood at the shore. He could’ve sworn it was you. Your pale skin glimmered beautifully under the moonlight.

He didn’t move a muscle, yet he waited to see what your next intention was. A robe you were wearing slowly feel to the ground as you now stood naked your gaze kept on his, you slowly entered the water.

Your figure made your way through the cold water, his eyes never leaving yours he was absolutely stunned. This had to be surreal.

Your hips moved in the water causing ripples to shift outwards, your brown eyes fluttered innocently. He stood in front of you awestricken, you were gorgeous.

He was scared that maybe if he had made one wrong move you’d leave, so there he stood motionless waiting for you to respond.

You were now in front of him, your naked glory he kept his eyes on you out of full curiosity. Your face inches away from his you guided his hands towards your side his warm arms wrapped securely around your waist.

The tension was lingering, his heart was pacing at an irregular pace questions swirling around in his mind but nonetheless, he wouldn’t change a thing.

The two of your lips met in pure bliss, moving in synchronization your fingernails traveling up the back of his neck and into his soft curls his hands gripping your hips lightly not wanting to hurt you without permission.

His lips trailed from your jaw and to your neck where he softly bite and sucked gaining small moans from you in response.

Heavy breathing and moans began to fall from your lips as he held you in his arms his nails digging into the sides of your hips causing you to squirm, the fingers of his right hand gently sliding over your folds.

Unfortunately for Wyatt, he awoke in a panic, his head was spinning and he was covered in blood. His brown eyes scanned his surroundings, the green trees a dim green and the woods ground wet and sloshy from the rain the night before.

It was a dream.

Fuck. It was a dream.

Shivers shot down his spine and throughout his body as he remembered the horny dream he had. God he wished it where real. He observed his clothing. He was drenched in blood. His whole body.

He pondered to himself in confusion then it clicked. After killing the human he had retreated back to the clearing and fell asleep after ... Waking up he knew aside from the perks of his wolf powers one downside was that wolves couldn’t remember events that happen after they detach from their human form.

He licked his chapped numb lips while his ears perked up, sirens could be heard from miles away, holy shit. The police had found his body. Quickly, he stood up and ran left towards large similar oaks trees, lucky for him he knew the woods so it was easy for him. 

Suddenly while his head was turned behind him making sure he wasn’t seen he quickly looked forward and collided with anther body a loud grunt slipped passed his lips as he fell on the hard soil, groaning. 

[kacchanrawr]

Things I want to see in the future of MHA

(not just post-war stuff, but also the entire series. Some of these are kinda self-indulgent)

1. Endeavor and Hawks’ judgment

I honestly don’t know if I want to see them punished or pardoned. I’m interested in both of those so I’ll just trust Horikoshi on that one. But anyways, there’s no way they aren’t getting shit for this.

2. Whatever the ‘fake heroes’ are gonna do after this

Going back to Stain’s ideology about fake heroes. I agree with parts of it, there are a lot of people that become heroes without the conviction. They get into it by treating it the same way as any other office job, not as a mission to be well, heroes. But I don’t agree that they should be killed or eliminated. Being a hero for money isn’t inherently a bad thing, it’s when you let greed take over you to the point that you forget what it means to be a hero. Some of those ‘fake heroes’ like Mt. Lady who was originally in it for the fame and money have grown to become real heroes. Others who really have zero conviction, will probably quit after facing this amount of despair, like the guy in chapter 296.

3. The Todoroki family’s image

How will everyone else see the victims of the situation, Natsuo, Fuyumi, Rei and Shoto after this? Especially Shoto. Now that his past is out in the public, that will probably affect his future as a pro. Would his classmates and peers see him or treat him differently after this? Like out of pity or sympathy?

4. The public’s backlash in general

How will the public start viewing not just Endeavor, Hawks, and the Todoroki family, but all heroes? Will they lose faith in heroes? We know they kinda already are when UA had a lot of backlash when Bakugo was kidnapped. UA as well, will it get shut down?

5. Bakudeku’s talk

I don’t think their relationship is actually gonna stay the same after this whole ‘my body moved on its own because I care for you and wanted to save you so I just got stabbed and risked my life for you and even told you to stop trying to be so selfless and do everything by yourself’ thing. All Might also did foreshadow that they were gonna talk soon. Maybe we could get the long awaited Bakugo apology scene ? Though it feels way too soon. And if Hori feeds us Bakudekus even more I think we’re just gonna combust.

5. Deku’s character development

His mindset and view of the world will probably be way darker and even more serious after this. I also want to see how Bakugo getting hurt for his sake and saying “don’t play hero all by yourself” will affect him. We know that he has decided to become a hero that wouldn’t make anyone worry about him when he had a flashback of his mom crying and being worried for him. He decided that the solution to that is to be stronger, but now maybe he can learn that selflessness doesn’t necessarily mean that he has to carry all the weight by himself. But then there’s the 4th user’s quirk that will probably push him to be even more selfless.

6. Ochako’s development

Please please PLEASE let this girl have more development. The way her fight against Toga ended, and her seeing the grievous side of being a hero? Probably a set up for her development.

7. Basically the rest of the kids’ development?

Obviously it’s not just the people involved in the fight against Shigaraki, or Ochako that are gonna view the world differently after this. I wanna see how they will deal with this. Kirishima and Mina will probably be some of the highlights. Also Momo, since Midnight meant a lot to her when she was the one that trusted Momo to lead their classes in the battle against Gigantomachia.

8. Aizawa and Present Mic dealing with Midnight’s death

Those two are especially highlighted amongst all of the other UA staff members because they have a past with her, as shown in vigilantes. We saw their anger and sadness about Shirakumo, what more when it comes to Midnight?

9. The villains dealing with their losses

Yes, know Toga went on a rampage after Twice’s death, but how will she and deal with it in the long run? How about losing Mr. Compress? How will Shigaraki react to both of those, and having the other Paranormal Liberation Front members like Geten captured? Not just emotionally, but how about the loss in terms of strength and power?

10. Prison break arc

People have been talking about this for years, maybe ever since we knew All for One was only imprisoned and not killed. We’ll probably see it happen next chapter. Will it cause the public to lose even more faith in the hero system? How will it affect the villains? Will AFO be their boss now, or will they resist him and stay loyal to Shigaraki?

11. All for One vs Shigaraki

Related to the previous point. We know Shigaraki really doesn’t want AFO bossing him around. They’ll probably have a fight. Maybe Deku and Shigaraki vs AFO? Then they’ll go back to fighting each other once the common threat is gone. This doesn’t feel very likely, but it could be a way of interpreting Deku’s “you looked like you needed saving” at the end of chapter 295.

11. Deku’s arms?

I don’t know if I want him to lose them and get prosthetics, or get healed by Eri. It would be great to see him experience a major loss, but ability-wise and emotionally? Not so good for him, though that’s kinda the point. Also he might not be able to use OFA in his arms anymore and I kinda don’t wanna see that. Even if he can, will he be able to use it at 100%? So far, we’ve seen that the level of technology in MHA aren’t enough to withstand 100%

12. Deku mastering One for All

I wanna see him consistently use 100% without injuring himself. I want to see him do more with black whip, float and the fourth user’s quirk. I’m also curious about the other three quirks left.

13. Power buff for everyone else

I kinda don’t wanna see the MC getting so ahead of everyone else, to the point that they leave everyone else in the dust. But I know that it’s been established way earlier on that Deku will surpass everyone in terms of strength. Even now, Bakugo, one of the strongest in Class 1-A could barely catch up with 30% OFA. But from his internal dialogue in chapter 293, I’m guessing he already had a quirk evolution when he saw Deku at the verge of death. I want to see more details on that though.

14. Everyone else’s reaction to Bakugo’s sacrifice

It’s gonna be a big thing for his character and all, but I don’t think this is gonna happen because of well, everything else being a mess. But maybe at least All Might’s?

15. Deku’s father

I don’t want him to be a really big famous, important figure, or someone involved in this whole AFO vs OFA stuff. It will kinda ruin Deku’s character of like, ‘just an ordinary boy that was lucky and so his character arc is to be worthy of that blessing’. If Deku’s father was someone like that, that would mean he was the fated or chosen one in the first place anyways? But what else can Deku’s dad be? I honestly don’t know.

16. All Might’s death

I see so many people complain that he should’ve died in Kamino, but I disagree because saving that big moment for later was actually a good decision. We know he’s gonna die, he has death flags everywhere. But I wonder how exactly he will die, when he will die, and how big of an impact his death will have.

17. The final battle

As in, the last battle of the entire series. Deku vs Shigaraki rematch, Ochako vs Toga, Shoto vs Dabi. And for Bakugo, well...... he doesn’t really have a villain nemesis? (Huh maybe I’ll talk about that some other time) But the best I could think of right now is Bakugo and Deku vs Shigaraki, like in Heroes Rising. If the Heroes Rising ending was the original series ending, maybe Hori was hinting that Bakugo and Deku will be fighting the final boss together?

18. Bakugo and Deku as a hero duo

Related to the previous point. Shipping lenses aside, I think there’s plenty of foreshadowing for that? Even if they wouldn’t officially be hero partners, I’m guessing they’re both gonna be important pillars. “Win to save, save to win”

19. The ending

I want to see how they will fix the broken hero society. I want to see Class 1-A as wonderful heroes. I want satisfying closure for the villains as well. What I don’t want to see is everyone getting married and having kids like Naruto, and those kids being the characters for a sequel series. I’m sorry but as much as I like a lot of the ships, I think that’s probably one of the worst endings possible. But a next generation sequel actually wouldn’t be that bad if the main characters were the established kid characters we already know and love, Eri, Kota, Katsuma and Mahoro. We can see through them how the new hero system/society works, and maybe all the smaller subtle stuff that they still need to patch up. Other than that, I don’t think there’s anything else good about it.

20. Deku becoming the greatest hero

Also very much related to the previous point but I only remembered it afterwards. We know it’s gonna happen, but how? Also notice that while Bakugo always says ‘number one hero’, Deku always just says ‘greatest hero’, which kinda aren’t the same thing. Maybe it’s just cuz I’m a Bakugo stan, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to just let the rival characters be content with number two? Either ‘Bakugo is the number one in ranking while Deku is the greatest hero’, or ‘Deku is the greatest and number one hero but their rivalry hasn’t ended and it’s a push-pull’ thing. Or just kill one of them (cough Bakugo cough) and it’ll be fine.

21. Other people finding out about OFA

I don't think it's going to stay a secret between Deku, Bakugo and All Might anymore. At the very least, the people involved in the fight against Shigaraki, like Shoto, Aizawa and Endeavor should be given an explanation on why Shigaraki was targeting Deku in particular. At worst, it becomes public news and Deku will now have to deal with a much a greater pressure of everyone expecting him to take up All Might's mantle. I'd rather go with the former, but the latter is also interesting I guess. Or if not those, they'd have to come up with a really good excuse.

Anyways that’s all I can think of for now? There’s probably way more at the back of my head. I’ll just edit whenever.

[puckinghell]

The Plus One Pact | William Nylander | Part 5

Summary: Your ex is getting married, and you don’t have a date, which means the unavoidable “why don’t you have a boyfriend” question is about to haunt you for the rest of eternity. But then there’s Will, who could be the answer to all your problems. A simple business pact, no feelings involved: that won’t be hard for you, because you really don’t like him anyways. Except pacts were made to be broken… or something. Right?

Note: This is part 5. Click here for part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

--

When you wake up, there’s something heavy draped across your chest, and everything around you is warm.

It takes a few minutes, for everything to get back, and until you can fully open your eyes. You didn’t bother taking off your mascara – were a little preoccupied – and you’re paying for that, now.

You don’t regret anything from last night, though.

Finally, you shift so you can look beside you. You’re laying on your back and Willy is pulled up against your side, lips resting against the naked skin of your shoulder. His arm is across your body, effectively pinning you to the mattrass, as if he subconsiously tried to stop you from leaving.

He doesn’t have to worry about that.

He looks peaceful, his blond hair spread across the pillow, his eyelashes fluttered shut against his cheekbones. The rise and fall of his chest is steady with every breath he takes.

Last night comes back in flashes; lips pressed against your collarbone, your fingers curling in his hair. Your heels kicked out in the hallway, his back bumping into the wall. Cursing, laughter. His hands all over your body, with just the right amount of pressure. The way he looked like he’d never seen anything so beautiful before. The way he’d blushed when you told him that you hadn’t, either.

The question, when it was silent and dark in the room, just the sound of catching breaths.

“Stay?”

Willy’s immediate answer, unwavering and steady. “Always.”

Your alarm clock tells you it’s past 9 am, now, but you know neither of you have anything important today, so you’re more than content to press your nose against Willy’s scalp. It smells nice; familiar. He hums in response, but you don’t think he’s awake, not really.

Then, your phone buzzes.

At first, you think about ignoring it. It’s only 9am, after all, and there’s nothing that you can think of being that important. It’s probably just Zach, asking if you got home safe.

God, you’re gonna have to tell Zach what happened. He’s gonna be so smug about it; you’ll never hear the end of it.

But then your phone buzzes again, and again, and you think about Noah’s wedding. It could be your sister again, bothering you about it, or maybe your parents. Besides, the buzzing is making Willy stir, and you really don’t want to wake him up.

He’s been looking tired, the season running him down, and you’re not taking away any sleep that he could potentially get.

You carefully unwrap Willy’s arm from around you, which earns you another not-really-awake hum, this time one that sounds a little annoyed, and manage to grab your phone from your nightstand.

The words on your screen almost seem fake, but once you read them properly, you kinda feel like the room is spinning.

3 missed calls, and a text. 

From: Noah Daniels

I’m outside your apartment, can you let me in?

What in the actual fricking heavens...

With surprising clarity, your brain immediately realizes that you have two options now. You can go let him in, and talk to literally the last person on earth you wanna talk to, or you can not let him in, and risk your entire family screaming at you.

Besides, you’re supposed to be at this guy’s wedding in two days. So maybe only one option, then.

Your heart is beating way too fast, but you very slowly start the task of getting yourself out of bed without waking Will. It’s hard, to leave him there, and the thought flashes through your mind what would happen if he woke up, but he looks pretty knocked out so you decide not to worry about that.

You’ve got enough to worry about.

You throw on the first clothes you can find and try to make as little noise as you can while getting out the bedroom. Will stirs a few times, but his breathing remains even.

You really hadn’t wanted the first time you saw your ex to be like this, looking like a drowned panda wearing old sweatpants and – is that Will’s shirt, you grabbed?

But you guess you’ve learned nothing ever goes the way you want it to, with Noah.

When you open your front door, you almost expect him not to be there. Surely he was kidding, or sent that text to the wrong phone number, or it was a dare.

But no. He’s there, standing with his hands in his pockets and a hint of a smile on his face. He looks the same as he did back then, which throws you a little.

“Hi, Y/N,” he says, his voice soft. “I hope it’s not inconvenient, I was just in the neighborhood.”

“Uhm,” you bring out. It’s really inconvenient, but for some reason, the words can’t pass your lips.

“Can I come in? I wanted to talk about something, I guess.”

Great, now your nerves are truly flying at an all time high. Wordlessly, you step aside, and he takes the invitation for what it is and moves through your living room like he owns it, sitting on the couch without being asked. He doesn’t take off his shoes. It unnerves you, which is stupid, because Will doesn’t take off his shoes, either, and that hasn’t bothered you.

“You look…” Noah starts, pauses. Then settles on: “Different.”

“So do you,” you say, which is a lie, but you don’t really know what else to say. You could offer him coffee, but you find yourself not wanting to, so you cross your arms and stay standing in the middle of the living room.

“What did you wanna talk about, Noah?”

Noah sighs. “Straight into it. You never had a lot of time for small talk.”

You’re not sure if it’s meant to sound offensive, but it does. Maybe everything he says sounds offensive to you, now.

How did you ever love this guy?

“Well, as you wish.” Noah’s hands are folded in his lap. The engagement ring is shiny on his finger. “I’m getting married in two days, and you’ll be at the wedding. So I just wanted to make sure there weren’t any problems.”

Something in your brain short circuits. “Problems?”

Noah sighs again. It reminds you of the way your mom used to sigh when you were a little kid and you wouldn’t put on your shoes fast enough.

“Obviously things didn’t end great between us…”

Yeah, because you cheated. You don’t say it.

“And your sister told me you had some reservations about coming.”

That bitch.

“So I just wanted to make sure you weren’t, like, still in love with me.” He says it as if the thought amuses him. But he doesn’t look like he’s joking, and a storm is brewing in your mind. “Cause I know our relationship meant a little more to you than to me, and for that, I do apologize. But I don’t think it would’ve ever gone anywhere, anyway, you know? What we had was more of like, a summer fling.”

It’s like there’s wind whistling in your ear, but there’s no windows open in your apartment.

“A summer fling?” you repeat, a little dumbfoundedly. “We were together for four years.”

“A very long summer?” Noah offers, and you can tell by the smirk on his face he thinks he’s truly being funny.

“You cheated on me.” It’s the first time, you think, you’ve ever said those words to him, but you can’t keep them in now.

Noah’s face falls. “Hardly,” he says. “I just knew immediately that Betty was the one for me. I had to act on that, you understand that, right? I told you right after.”

Still counts as cheating. You don’t say that, either. Instead, you say: “You begged me to take you back.”

“That’s not how I remember it.”

You want to laugh. How else could he remember that night?

He stood on your porch in the darkness and said: “Look, I know it was stupid, but I’m young, and I don’t know anything about anything. I just know I miss you. The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you, and I just want to make it up to you.”

You said: “Go fuck yourself”, slammed the door in his face and cried yourself to sleep for the next four months.

It’s not worth it, though, and it hits you how much you’ve changed. Because there was a time when you wouldn’t have had the strength to send him away, where this would’ve made you feel something. Frustration, sadness, anger. Hope, even.

It doesn’t, now. There’s not even the dull ache of being the one that was cheated on. There’s just indifference.

It feels like closure. 

“Look, Noah,” you say, “it doesn’t really matter. There’s not gonna be any problems at your wedding, okay? I’m just there because my mom wants me to be. I’ll keep quiet.” You smile, and you’re sure it looks fake but Noah doesn’t seem to notice.

“Okay,” he says. “If you say so, I believe you.” He stands up, clearly ready to go now that his worries have been soothed, then walks to the door and you watch as his hand lands on the doorknob. At the last moment, he turns around.

“I knew you understood, back then,” he says. The smile on his face is a little too sharp and pointed to be genuine. “You’re just not really the kinda girl guys end up marrying, you know?”

You’re still staring at him with your mouth open when the front door slams behind him.

Suddenly, you hear a different voice.

“Nice guy, that.”

You turn around to find Willy leaning in the doorway to your bedroom, fully clothed now. His arms are crossed and he’s frowning.

“You invite him over?”

“What?” Now you’re frowning, too. “What the fuck, Will, of course I didn’t. He just showed up.”

An unwelcome feeling is starting to creep up your spine, tingling through your skin like the most unpleasant current.

What if Noah is right?

What if this isn’t anything special to Will, what if he’s just passing the time until something better comes along? You’ve never seen him pick up many girls but looking like that, surely he does, and you think of his cocky attitude that bothered you so much before you really knew him, think of the way he was used to everyone loving him.

What if you’re just a conquest to him, to show himself that he can still get people to love him? What if you didn’t get to know the real him, but simply walked straight into his trap?

What if none of this is real and he’s going to go run off to someone else, because you’re just not that kinda girl.

“Do you think he’s right?” you blurt out, before thinking it through.

You really should’ve thought it through.

“Do you think I’m not the kinda girl guys end up marrying?”

Will’s eyes widen, and you see his hands clench where they’re wrapped around himself. Something clicks in his jaw. 

“Are you fucking serious?” he says, and he sounds upset. And angry. Really, really angry. “You really think I would be here if I did?”

You don’t answer. No, you don’t really think that. You think Will is better than that. But something inside of you is gnawing at your conscious, because if someone had asked you that question last month, you would’ve absolutely thought that.

“You do,” Will says, and he sounds like he almost can’t believe it. “You think I’m that kinda guy, still. You said you got to know me, but you still think I would be here and have sex with you and tell you all those things I told you if I didn’t mean them.”

When he says it like that, it sounds stupid, and doubt is starting to rise in your chest.

“No, Will, I didn’t mean it like…”

“But you did.” Will pushes himself away from the doorway, stalks towards his shoes and shoves his feet in. Instantly, you start to panic.

He’s leaving.

“Will, come on…”

“No.” Willy looks up, and there’s nothing but pure hurt in his eyes. It cuts like a knife, because you put that there, and you never wanted to be the reason for his hurt. 

 “You know what the funny thing is, Y/N? I’ve never thought anything bad of you. I liked you as soon as Zach introduced us. I thought we could be friends. But you were always so… judgmental, and you always rolled your eyes at me so I figured I shouldn’t bother, and that hurt, because I liked you even when you didn’t like me. And now you’re accusing me of thinking something so awful of you, when I only ever though the best, and when all you’ve ever done is think the worst of me.” 

He’s grabbing his jacket as he talks, stalks towards the door and you know there’s nothing you can do or say to stop him, not when you’ve hurt him like this.

Willy stops at the door, like Noah did. But he’s not smiling, no sharp amusement in his eyes. Only pain. Only sorrow.

“I always liked you, and you always disliked me. For no reason at all. And now, after everything, you still don’t like me, and the worst thing is, I still like you.”

The door falls quietly into the lock behind him, nothing like the way it slammed behind Noah - everything around you shatters, anyway.

--

He’s not coming you text Zach.

Zach is currently at a restaurant with his entire family in law, but he still answers right away. He’s truly been your rock, the past few days, even if he did also tell you how stupid you’ve been.

You already knew that, though.

He promised, didn’t he? He’ll come.

He won’t, though, and you can’t even blame him for it. If you were Willy, you wouldn’t come to the wedding either.

You’re standing in front of the church. Your family already spotted you, tried to get you to come inside with them, but you couldn’t. Not when there was still the slightest chance, when you still had the tiniest sliver of hope that he would be there.

“I’m just waiting for someone,” you had said, and your sister had given you a look of pity.

You kinda wanted to bite her head off, except you really didn’t have the energy anymore.

The ceremony is about to begin. If Will doesn’t show up, like, right now, he’s not coming.

He’s not coming.

Against everything you knew, you’d still hoped.

Suddenly, you hear a familiar voice.

“Y/N?”

Your eyes widen as you swirl around, but it really is who you thought you heard, her hair curled and wearing the most beautiful sundress. “Ellie? What are you doing here?”

Ellie laughs. “Your sister invited me. Said you could use some friendly faces in the crowd.” She frowns. “Aren’t you supposed to be inside? I thought I was running really late.”

“You are.” You sigh, and suddenly you feel like you could cry. You haven’t really cried, yet, refused to cry over Will when what you had was so new and uncertain. It’s not like you got dumped, for crying out loud.

If you’re never together, you can’t get dumped. So why does it feel exactly like that, then?

“Hey, what’s going on? You don’t look so good.” Ellie looks genuinely worried and that nearly pushes you over the edge; you let yourself sit down on the steps before the church.

The street is empty. The ceremony is starting, and he isn’t here. 

Ellie takes her seat next to you and waits patiently for you to talk. You want to, you need someone to talk to who doesn’t know Willy like Zach does, who might not judge you the way you’re sure Zach had – although he’d hidden it well, being too good a friend to be angry with you. 

It’s just hard to get the words out, is all.

“Remember Will?” you ask. Ellie smiles at the memory.

“The hot guy you brought to the last wedding we were at? That spent the entire evening shooting heart eyes at you while you ignored him? Yes, I remember.”

The guy who did what now?

I’ve liked you since Zach introduced us.

Fuck.

“Yeah, well.” You sigh. “I kinda fucked that one up.”

And so you tell her everything.

You tell her about the pressure of being single while Noah got married, how much you hate your family asking you those questions with pity in their eyes. About how Will promised to be your plus one if you were his; about the pact you made, the only rule that that was all it was.

You tell her you didn’t like Will, at first, but that’s because you didn’t understand him, and maybe, selfishly, because you knew how much you would like him, if you tried to understand him, and you were too scared to get hurt.

About how that happened, anyway; he wiggled his way into your heart with witty remarks and honest eyes, shy glances and the brightest smile you’ve ever seen.

About how finally, you gave in to the desire to kiss him. About how it had been magical, until Noah showed up.

How, just momentarily, you’d doubted him, because Noah’s words rang harshly in your ears and you don’t think the scars he left fully healed, no matter how many stars Will had drawn around them.

About how he immediately crawled back into his shell.

“I don’t think it’s so easy for him to let people in,” you tell her. “And he let me in and I immediately broke his trust.”

Ellie shrugs. “You were scared and hurt and you lashed out. It wasn’t a good decision, but if he likes you as much as he says he does, it won’t be the end of everything. You’ve gotta talk to him.”

“I know.” You stare at the stone of the curb in front of you. The sun makes it look strangely bright; it’s a beautiful day for a wedding. “I was scared to do that, too.”

“Yeah, but, sometimes scary things are worth it.” Ellie is looking at you, clearly trying to find something there. “Honestly, the way you’re talking about him? It sounds like he might be worth it.”

“It doesn’t matter, now.” The look on Ellie’s face tells you you sound exactly as pathetic as you think you do. “He’s not here, so he clearly wants nothing to do with me. Zach said he’d come, you know, because he promised and apparently he never breaks a promise.” You laugh, a little humorlessly. “I can’t even blame him for that, after what I said to him. But I didn’t mean it, El.”

“I know,” Ellie says softly. “But he doesn’t know that, Y/N. I’m not the person you need to be telling that to.”  

You sigh. Maybe you should, but you can’t, not right now, and you don’t think it would really matter anyway. 

“We should go inside, probably.”

“Yeah.” Ellie helps you up and tightly wraps her arm around your waist, like a crutch for you to lean on, and starts to lead you inside. One more time, you look behind you onto the empty street.

But there’s nobody there, so you enter the church.

He’s not coming, anyway. 

[jjuzoir]

Match Maker | s. banri

request: “Hello! I personally really love your writing and your whole aesthetic is my dream lol 👉👈 Can I request a scenario where reader and Banri are best friends since childhood? You can turn it into best friends to lovers kind of thing if you feel like it. I’m personally a huge fan of best friends to lovers aus, they just,,, melt my heart 🥺 Thank you so much, please don’t feel like you have to rush it and take your time! 💞” from anon

a/n: i accidentally deleted your anon but i managed to save the request itself sooryy^^ i am so sorry it’s taken me so long omg 🥺 i love you sooo much anonie 💕✨ i love f2l so much too it’s so cute just seeing people who love each other being able to be with each other is !!! ahhh ✨💕 i really enjoyed working on it and i’m really happy with it hhhh thank you sm for requesting ilysm ahhh

word count: 2973

There were many perks to being friends with Banri, he was funny and nice when he wanted to be— he’d help you out with homework and never let you down; if there was one thing you could always count on Banri to be it was determined and loyal. But there were downsides to it too like the looks you’d get for hanging out with a guy with such a shitty reputation, the way he’d always get into fights, or seeing him waste his life away due to lack of interest. There were the multiple fights you had to endure, patching him after he got his ass beaten to a pulp the first few times.

But you wouldn’t trade him for the world. You had stuck with him through so many things, so many phases and bruises, beginnings and ends, you knew him like the back of your hand and you knew how hard it was for him to live such an “easy” life. He liked a challenge, something to work hard towards, something worth fighting for— so he could relish in the satisfaction, but that something never came. When everything comes easy you can never really bask in satisfaction; the afterglow after a succeeding.

Maybe at first, you guessed, Banri did enjoy it but he soon grew tired; everything was easy, too easy. How could he enjoy a life with no challenges when what he liked the most was a challenge?

That’s why when he joined the Mankai company you were ecstatic, finally a non-destructive hobby after years of fights and punches. It was why you didn’t mind distancing yourself from him, to let Settsu enjoy himself and get to know theater— you guessed you just didn’t know how far was enough, leading you to grow farther away than either of you expected; than either of you needed.

Looking back, Banri was somewhat grateful; he knew had you stuck around he wouldn’t have been able to concentrate with the growing feelings he had blooming in his chest.

He realized his feelings for you weren’t the same when texting you wasn’t enough, when meeting you at school wasn’t enough; when he realized that he wanted more. He never took into account how often you two would be together, it felt so natural, there was never a second thought or a minute to imagine what would happen if your routine were to change. After school and during breaks, you’d always be together chatting away; to not have you there by his side as often was weird. It wasn’t as if he never saw you but whenever you left he felt a bitter feeling in his mouth, it left him feeling unsatisfied. What was once a friendship that lasted 24 hours a day soon shortened into a relationship that would last as long as school breaks would allow.

He hoped that once he quit the troupe— after making his point known to Juza, he’d be able to go back to his routine with you, perhaps confess or just let it go, he just wanted to ditch acting and see where you two would go. But he never really quit and so the distance between you two became bigger.

You never grew estranged, neither of you would’ve been able to live without the other by this point— 14 years of friendship, of familiarity and comfort, can’t go down the drain like that. To you Banri was the need for a future, for excitement and adventure, and to him, you were home, nostalgic and known. But going from hanging around each other everyday to almost once in a blue moon, it hit hard and it hit roughly.

By the third performance, you and him could barely meet in person— you had joined clubs while he practiced, your classes weren’t the same and your part time job started demanding more attention; so all you could do was text. He hated texting, you could never really express your tone and feelings properly, but your relationship— or what remained of it, now hung on a thin thread of texts. It was weird, heart breaking almost, to see the shell that remained of your friendship.

It was around that time Banri realized he needed to act on his feelings for you, it was when he realized he could lose you.

He didn’t know how to confront you about it— the boy you had been hanging out around, he’d seen you two, heard the rumors of a possible romance, but he never confronted you. Blue eyes could only watch in confusion as the situation unfolded itself; you two were 17, not kids anymore, it’d be weird for him to pop in one day and demand for you to explain yourself to him. Banri wasn’t delusional, he knew you didn’t owe him an explanation.

Izumi noticed the uncertainty and hesitation in him, how something or someone was bothering him. It was soon after that his discomfort was known to the rest of the company and they grew confused and concerned— some more worried than others. It was her who ended up confronting Banri, she had to convince the dyed blond to not threaten the young boy with behavior and discipline.

Even through his short answers and cold stare it didn’t take the brunette long to understand what was bothering him.

“So, you like your best friend?” Izumi’s pink eyes were tinted with understanding and pity as she looked at the young boy.

However, Banri was too prideful to answer, instead opting to roll his eyes in acknowledgment.

“Well, why don’t you say something about it?”

“[Name] doesn’t owe me an explanation,” he muttered, he had thought about it but really— he was also afraid; if you were dating that boy then it meant his feelings were one sided and he could ruin your trust, make you feel like you had a babysitter or a possessive friend, and accidentally reveal the feelings he had only recently begun to acknowledge.

“I guess you’re right, but you owe yourself closure,” Izumi states straight into his eyes, “Just try talking to them about it.”

“Hmph…”

He stared at your contact name for a while before pressing it that night, he spent at least 14 minutes typing and re-typing what he wanted to send, never before had he been so self conscious when talking to you.

As he laid buried within his covers, only the soft light of his phone shining, he realized how important you were to him; he couldn’t fuck up.

‘Hey, our next performance is next week wanna come??????’

Once he had settled for a text and was ready to press send he heard a deep, and extremely annoying, voice coming from beside him.

“Delete some question marks, it makes you look desperate.”

“Fuckin’- were you reading my texts?” Banri barked at the golden eyed boy, what was that creep doing getting into his conversation with you?

“Kinda hard not to when you’ve got your ringer on, this isn’t a coming of age movie turn that shit off, iss’ annoying.” Juza grumbled before shoving his head between his pillows and Banri swore the small wooden panel separating both of their beds was suddenly asking to be used as a murder weapon.

“Fuck off, Hyodo.”

‘Hey, our next performance is next week wanna come over??’

“You are gonna give them their tickets, right?”

“Of course I am, I ain’t some sort of asshole!” Settsu could swear every time Juza opened his mouth he lost 10 years of his lifespan.

“Ya’ sure about that?”

“Say it to my fuckin’ face, eh?”

‘Hey, I got some tickets for our next performance if you wanna come??’

“Is that better, dick head?” Banri shoved his phone at the purple haired boy causing him to swat his hand away.

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Whatever-? You know what, choke on my dick.”

“Come on, I’ve sucked candy bigger than your dick, Settsu, I ain’t chokin’ on a pickle.”

He was surprised that you answered so quickly a short and simple ”Oh my god!!! Yes!!” that had sent his heart into super sonic speed. He guessed that, if Izumi was right and he did like you, that it made sense- and if he had to be honest, really had to be, you could say he didn’t mind the way his heart fluttered around his chest.

‘Come over early and I’ll give them to you’

“And they say chivalry is dead.” Juza grumbled into his pillow, earning a smack from Banri.

A week later and you were standing in front of the Mankai dorm waiting for him, you had to admit that- although sudden, the invite did make you quite happy, even if you both didn’t talk as often you still cared deeply about him.

While you stood outside waiting, however, inside the dorm Banri was getting one final pep talk from Izumi before he asked you out- or tried to at least.

“I get it! Izumi, stop nagging already,” blue eyes rolled as the older woman went over the plan.

“I am not nagging, Settsu! I am simply making sure you don’t screw up!” She shrieked, she was this close to setting you up with Juza out of spite.

“Look, I’m fine,” he assured her, “I’ll just tell ‘em how I feel and if they say yes then good and if they say no then whatever- it’s not like we won’t talk if I’m rejected.” Right?

“Hey, Neo delinquent, you shouldn’t leave your date waiting,” Yuki grumbled as he nodded over to the door, “Poor thing’s been there for half an hour, let it in already.”

“Yuki! Don’t talk about [Name] like they’re a dog!” Izumi scolds the middle schooler.

“Whatever, just worried they’re gonna catch a cold.” He shrugs before leaving the room, if you ended up sick you’d only have those two to blame.

“Okay, now go- go!” Izumi pushed the tall boy before running off to hide behind the wall, just in case.

Banri takes note of his sweaty hands and scolds himself; keep it together. He shakes his head and opens the door to find you waiting for him.

In the second it took you to process the opened door, Banri felt himself fall in love with you. After not seeing each other in person since the start of the new semester, it dawned on him how much he yearned to be with you.

“Banri, I missed you!” You throw your arms around your friend, you were excited— it had been weeks since you’d last seen him and you missed him, even if you two didn’t talk as much there was never a day you didn’t think of him in some way.

“[Name],” he ruffled your hair, his eyes softening as he looked at you, “I missed you too.”

“I’m so excited,” you pulled away from him, looking him straight in the eyes, “I was so worried I wouldn’t get tickets, I really wanted to see you act again!”

“Tch, ain’t you a fan?” He teases you, making way for you to come inside the dorms and you gladly do. It had been months since you last came, but it still looked and felt the same; he felt and looked the same, he looked smarter though, more mature and put together.

“You’re talking as if I wouldn’t come see my best friend.” You smile up at him and he feels his heart clench in his chest at your words.

As he leads you to the living room he wonders if he should actually tell you— unlike most things in his life, you were always there, no matter what he was doing you’d always stuck around him. Ever since you were young, Banri can’t remember a time where you weren’t there and, honestly, he didn’t want to.

His silence catches your attention and you decide to speak up; “So, how have things been?”

“Ah, good, they’ve been good,” he coughs, he felt stupid getting nervous over this- he should just get it out as fast as possible, “and you?”

“Things ‘ve been well, kinda weird without you around.” You admit awkwardly as you sit down on the couch.

He nods, a smile gracing his lips as he thinks about how to lead the conversation where he needs it to be. He remembers Izumi’s words and advice, he deserved closure and, maybe it was selfish of him but, he wanted a relationship with you too. He really, really wanted a relationship with you.

“[Name]?” He speaks out, his voice wavering slightly and if he could he’d beat himself up for it. Hearing the uncertainty behind his words you almost shoot up from your seat in worry.

“Yeah?”

“I- I know it’s sudden and,” he takes a deep breath, “it’s gonna sound weird but I, uh- realized somethin’.”

You nod confused, you were listening to him and you wanted him to continue; that’s the moment he realized he’d need to fold whatever pride he had left and throw it in the air if he wanted to know the truth.

“It’s very weird and if it makes you uncomfortable it’s okay! It’s just, I've heard about you goin’ out with someone and I wanted to know if-?”

“Oh! You mean Rin, right? No, don’t worry, he’s dating someone; we’re just friends!” You laugh as you explain.

“Oh, good.” Even with his, albeit limited compared to other members, acting experience he couldn’t quite hide the relief that washed over his face and body at the revelation.

“Why do you wanna know? Worried you’re gonna lose me?” You tease but the words he uttered next made you do a double take his way.

“Yeah, actually- funny you’d say that.” He sighs before looking around the room, “I didn’t invite you just for the tickets, [Name], I-I wanted to tell you something… I like you.”

You feel the blood rushing to your ears and spread through your cheeks, you were sure you were practically heating up the room just from your blushing alone.

“You like me?” You ask him, you were extremely flattered and the thought that a guy like Banri liked you was nice. You liked him, you’ve liked him for a pretty long time but were too afraid to say anything so for him to, after so many years, tell you he liked you was straight out of a shojo manga.

“Yeah, it’s okay if you feel weird, I just wanted to say it, ya’ know?” He avoids your eyes and you quickly piece together the rest. He’d been acting weird, all shy and nervous, his texts were kinda dry, and even when you did meet in the hallway he had been acting off… was it all because he liked you?

“Banri, I- wow, me too,” you stutter, fidgeting with your fingers slightly at his confused face, “I kinda like you too.”

“Ya’ do?” It was his turn to jump from his seat at your words, his heart knocking against his chest as if it were about to explode from the override of emotions he was feeling at your words.

“Yeah, it’s embarrassing,” you laugh, “but I’ve liked you for some time now, I’m surprised you didn’t notice.”

His signature cocky smile is back on his face as soon as you say it and you wish you could take it back so he wouldn’t tease you, but would it really be Banri if he didn’t make fun of you even just a little bit.

“Shoulda’ known, no one can resist me.” He plopped himself next to you and you shove him slightly.

“Yeah, no one can resist you and your bowl cut.”

“You said it looked good!” He glares at you but you know he isn’t angry at all.

“Yeah when we were like 10?” You ruffle his hair, the soft strands gliding through your fingers and Banri is sure that if he had a tail it’d be wagging.

“Ya? Well why d’ya like me if I got a stupid bowl cut?” He grabs your hand and levels himself to look you in the eyes.

“Because you’re smart,” you lean closer and peck his lips, “and cute, even with that shitty hair.”

“You can’t insult me and compliment me like that! You're gonna give me whiplash, geez.” His eyes widen at your actions and he blushes a deep pink, and you do your best to memorize that look knowing it was rare.

“Ew, the NEO delinquent is flirting on our couch,” you both hear a whine from behind you two and you jump startled, “Now we’ve gotta clean it up.”

“We’d appreciate it if you kept the PDA minimal with the kids here, Settsu.” Sakyo glares at the young man, you could almost miss the soft smile as he watched his leader finally look like himself again.

“So, [Name], you two dating or what?” Izumi pokes her head out of her hiding spot, going straight to the point.

“Please, he probably didn’t even give ‘em the tickets.” Juza makes his way through the small crowd and into the kitchen area.

“Yes I did-“

“No you did not.” You correct him, causing the actor to blush even redder at your words.

“Told ya’.”

“Cut it off you guys!” The director scolded everyone in the room, too excited at the newly formed couple to care about much else, “Are you two dating?”

“I think we are.” You look at Banri who looked back at you, his scowling face softening until a smile broke out.

“We are.” He confirms, giving you a kiss on the cheeks with a smile and you feel light on your feet with excitement.

“I should start a match-making agency or something.” Izumi giggles at her comment, proud to finally have helped the young boy.

“With your dating life? Please.” Sakyo laughs at the younger woman.

[crashdevlin]

Satisfied- Ch. 15

Author’s Note: Happily Ever Eventually Masterlist, Satisfied Masterlist 

Summary: Dr. McCaullife tells Y/n to get closure, which leads to confrontations across the board.

Pairing: none 

Word Count: 3106

Chapter Warnings: mentions of cheating, mentions of mental breakdown, mentions of self-harm, mentions of noncon touching, bit of PTSD (it's a syndrome not a disorder😂🤣...in joke from another series), 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

My house is fairly small. I don’t need a lot of room. I spent more on the security system than anything, really. It’s a good one...a bajillion cameras running to a computer in my office closet, a doorbell cam going to my phone, a sensor on every door and window. I would love to say that I didn’t have Tom in mind when I bought it, but I was thinking of him more than I was thinking of paps and creepy fans. 

He had to stay in Texas due to the probation agreement, so he bought a house, too. A converted barn on the outskirts of Henly...an hour away from my home. Too close. Too close for any sort of comfort...but the ADA assured me that he was going to adhere to the protection order. So, I spent a lot of money on a security system.

When my doorbell went off and I looked at my phone to see Danneel standing on my porch, my stomach twisted. I just got rid of Jay, sent him home from New Orleans to be with his wife and then she shows up on my porch? How’d she even know where I live? *Guess this is my opportunity to get done with her, too.*

I opened the door and bit my lip as I looked at her. She had her hair down and scrunched up in sexy waves. She really is incredibly beautiful. I will never think anything else. “Hey, sweetie,” she greeted, smiling softly. “Can I come in?” I nodded and stepped back, closing the door as she set her purse on my loveseat and turned to me. “This is a cute place. You chose well.”

“Figure I don’t need a lot of space. Just enough for me and the kids on the occasion I get to see them.” I took a deep breath and crossed my arms over my chest. “What can I do for you, Danneel?”

“Jay told me about your fight at the con and-”

“That wasn’t a fight,” I interrupted, shaking my head. “That wasn’t even a disagreement.”

“Sweetie,” she started, but I sighed and caught her eyes.

“No. Please, listen.” I took another breath and looked away from her. “I’m not mad. I haven’t wanted to fight. That’s why I didn’t reach out to you after I saw the video. That’s why I shut down...and shutting down wasn’t the best way to deal with it, but still, I never wanted to fight.”

“But isn’t Jay worth fighting for, Y/n?”

That sentence sent rage zipping through my chest, but I took another breath. Calm myself, move forward. “No one is worth that much fighting. Especially if they’re not willing to fight for me. He wanted you back, Dee. I was always the consolation prize.”

“He loves you.”

“I wish that were enough...but it wasn’t enough to keep him from cheating on me.” Her face fell and I could see she wanted to argue the word ‘cheating’ so I kept talking. “You both knew I didn’t want you touching each other while I was gone...and tell me that you honestly didn’t see that I had a lot of regrets after we fucked. Tell me you didn’t know that it was probably never going to happen again...and that’s why you took the opportunity while I was gone.”

She looked down, avoiding my gaze. “Jensen and I-”

“Danneel, it’s okay.” I smiled and swallowed down my residual sadness. “Seriously. You don’t have to feel guilty here, hon. You and Jensen never stopped loving each other. That’s a fact. I just got in the way of what never should have ended in the first place. I’m moving on. I’ll find someone eventually, but for now...you and Jensen should be together. You always should have been.”

“Y/n, you deserve-”

“I deserve to move on,” I snapped, before licking my lips and stepping closer. “You and Jensen need to be together...and I need to be alone for a while. So...don’t feel bad. Don’t apologize. Don’t try to get me to fight...because I’m done fighting.”

She started crying as I hugged her, but I just felt relief. It was done. Finally, there was closure. She’d leave my house and go back to Jensen and everything would be done. A short time later she did just that...and I sat on my couch and wiped my eyes and...did some affirmations and moved forward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Closure on two fronts. That’s good,” Dr. McCauliffe said at my appointment the Monday after.

“Yeah. Now I just need closure with Nate and Tom and maybe I’ll be well-adjusted some day,” I said sarcastically.

“You should,” she encouraged, leaning forward.

“Wait...what?”

“You should have a sit-down with Tom and with Nate. You have grievances. You should air them.”

I scoffed and shook my head. “A sit-down with Tom is almost impossible. There are protections in place to keep that from happening and besides, you...you don’t want me interacting with Tom.”

“Not through text messages from unknown numbers when you’re feeling numb and broken. That was unhealthy. With you like this? Making breakthroughs and getting closure? That can only help.” She tapped her pen against her clipboard and smiled. “I’m sure there’s a way for you to meet with Tom, with protections, and clear the air a bit.”

“Clear the air. What would I even say to him? What would I even...How could I even talk to him without letting my brain go back to…” I rolled my shoulders back and ran my hand across my mouth.

“You talked to Jensen without an issue. You stood your ground twice, under stressful circumstances, and you came out the other side. I feel like you could handle this with grace. And I will be right here to help with any fallout that might occur. Okay?"

It took a lot of cajoling from Dr. McCauliffe, and some from Misha and Kim, but eventually I decided that it might not be the worst idea for my mental health if I got some closure with Nate. If that worked, I might go for closure with Tom...with a bodyguard and some lawyers and a knife in my pocket, just in case. 

I flew to Florida and took an Uber to Nate’s house. I had the driver wait, offered a $100 tip, and went up to the door. Jenny answered. I fought down a wave of anger at the sight of her. She used to be a friend. She was Nate’s friend first, a girl he told me was ‘one of the guys’ and not to worry about. I made friends to prove I wasn’t worried. I should have always been worried about Nate.

“It’s not your weekend,” she snapped.

“I’m not here for Nova. I’m here to talk to Nate.”

She scoffed and turned around to look at her husband, who was walking up from the living room. “It’s okay, Jen. I got this,” Nate said, stepping outside and shutting the door. “Sorry, she’s been kinda worried that you might decide you wanna come steal me back ever since she found out you and Jensen broke up.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not a homewrecker. That’s her job.”

“Whoa!” he exclaimed. “Don’t talk about my wife like-”

"Your wife cheated on her husband with my husband, ruined two families, and displaced three children all while smiling across the table at me during game nights and pretending she had never sucked your cock. She is as much a liar and a slut as you."

Nate's eyes went huge as I spoke. I really wasn't expecting to explode like that, but years of bubbling anger, I guess. 

"What the hell, Y/n? You flew in from Texas to call me and Jenny names?"

"No, I flew in from Texas for closure. My shrink thinks it's a good idea to get the shit I've been holding back off my chest so I came to talk to you. Honestly? Probably never woulda said a word against Jenny if she hadn't answered the door, but she did." I shrugged. "Too late now."

"What could you possibly have left to get off your chest?"

"Do you even realize how poorly you treated me? No, I'm sure you can't be that delusional. Do you even care?" I took a deep breath and looked up into his eyes. Blue just like Tom. *Gotta get a brown-eyed boy next time. Haven't been fucked over by a brown-eyed guy yet. No. No guys. No dating. Just me.* "I loved you with everything in me, Nate. You were everything to me, and you used that, used me to make yourself feel better, to make your friends laugh at the stupid fat girl who didn't realize you were fucking around. I know Jenny wasn't the first. And I bet she wasn't the last, either. Bet you got a few skeletons hiding from her too. Because you don't change. You're the same exact piece of shit you were when we were in high school...and Jenny knows that or she wouldn't be so scared that you would run away with your ex-wife. Not that I'd ever take you."

He scoffed in anger and I laughed. "I've had literal models in my bed, Nate. How delusionally narcissistic do you have to be to think that I would take a pencil-dicked, scruffy-faced, beatnik-looking motherfucker like you back?" Well, that was almost Tara-levels of confidence. When did that happen? "Look, I know you never loved me. I'm not delusional anymore, but I keep hoping that you'll love Nova...she's part of you, that should play right into your narcissism, but the way you use her like a tool, like a weapon against me...I don't think you love her any more than you loved me. And if you damage her, I will bury you."

He scoffed again. "You couldn't even win custody cause you're so unstable. What do you think you could do?"

"I didn't say I'd bury you in court." My voice was calm, with an edge of threatening. "You damage my daughter and I will do whatever I feel appropriate to pay you back." I was walking away when a final burn hit my mind. “It must be heartbreaking to you that the only thing you have the least in common with Jensen is that neither of you could keep it in your fucking pants.”

Dr. McCauliffe was right. Getting everything off my chest was freeing. I hadn’t even gotten on the plane back to Texas before I was on the phone with my lawyer. “What do you mean, you want a meeting with him? The man tried to rape you! There’s a restraining order on him and a-”

“I have to talk to him. That’s all. Lawyers present, a bodyguard or a cop in the room. I have things I need to say...Things I need to tell him so that I can get on with my life. Please, make it happen.”

“This is a bad idea.”

“Yeah, maybe. But it’s my bad idea, so...make it happen.”

And he did. He got me in a meeting with Tom at my lawyer’s office, a security guard and both lawyers present. 

I wore jeans, a baggy long-sleeved blouse, and I had my hair back and out of my face. I wasn’t there to look pretty. I was there for that closure.

My heart started pounding when I walked into that room and saw him. Obviously I wasn’t even close to over what he did...which is why I needed to talk to him about it. I sat across from him at a table in a conference room and my mind couldn’t help but replay being pressed into a long wooden table in the courthouse conference room, with a silk tie shoved in my mouth and my ass stinging. I took a deep breath and sighed it out as I sat down.

“I’d like to point out that I told my client that this was a bad idea,” Tom’s lawyer said.

“I told my client the same. She insisted,” my lawyer responded.

Tom smiled and my breath hitched. I was suddenly struck with the thought that I wasn’t ready for this. Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe I should just walk out...but I’d already come so far. I averted my eyes from his, looked at the table instead. “My psychiatrist thought this would be a good thing for me. That I deserved closure.”

“Closure? You mean to say you’re completely done with me and want nothing to do with me in the future?” Tom’s voice made me shiver. “I have heard that one before...and you always text back eventually...Dear.”

“Closure means asking you ‘why’ and telling you all the ways you’ve hurt me, getting everything off of my chest so that I don’t have any regrets of things I should have said...and don’t call me that.”

“Why? Why what?” Tom asked and I looked up. Did he really not know?

“Why...our relationship, Tom. Our whole relationship and the way you treated me afterward. Why? Why did you treat me like that? Why did you try to own me? Why did you manipulate and hurt me? Why did you tell the world that Maverick was your son when you knew that you couldn’t be his father? Why did you make it seem like I was a cheating whore when you knew I wouldn’t cheat after what Nate did to me? Why did you try to rape me? Why?”

Tom sighed and looked to his lawyer, then back to me. “I’ve never met a woman like you, Y/n. You create these feelings in me that...I tamp them down with other women. You make me want to possess you. I knew the moment I saw you that I had to have you...completely. You’re the only woman I’ve ever possessed that way...and you did like it for a while, I know you did. I remember the way your body reacted-”

“That was in bed! You tried to take over my whole life and when I left you, you tried to ruin my life.”

“I wasn’t trying to ruin your life, I was trying to get you to interact with me. I was certain that you’d remember how you loved me if I got you away from Jensen. And look what happened. He left you, you started talking to me again.”

“He didn’t leave me. He cheated and I didn’t let him talk to me after,” I argued. I licked my lips and looked away, shaking my head. “I started talking to you because I was in a horrible place and I didn’t think I had anyone in my corner. I hated who I was and I thought it was a good idea to talk to someone who saw who I could be. It was a bad decision, just like the decision to date you in the first place.”

“But you were willing to talk to me when you were without Jensen’s influence. That’s all I was trying to do with the lawsuit. Of course I knew Maxwell isn’t my son but-”

“His name’s Maverick,” I snapped. “You never called Nova by her middle name, why do you insist on calling Mav by his?”

He shrugged. “I know that Jensen named that child. He’s an attractive young boy, deserves an appropriate name.”

“What about the rape?” I asked. “If all you wanted was to get me away from Jensen, why would you-”

“I saw you enter that room, there were several twitter accounts posting pics from inside the courthouse and...you were alone. For the first time in months, you were alone, so I went in to talk to you without Jensen or Jared running interference. I just wanted to talk, but...you got so defensive as soon as I walked in...and you called me a psycho.” He looked down and took a deep breath. “I just wanted you to remember that you loved me. That I could give you the things that you needed. Jensen never dominated you, never made you submit. I just wanted you to remember how you liked that...how you liked me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted you back."

I shook my head. "That wasn't the way to go about it, Tom. None of this was the way to go about it. I understand going a bit crazy over someone, but you...you went too far. Way too far. I wanted to love you, but you wanted to own me, and that's not the same." I stood and gave him a tight smile. "I'm glad you agreed to meet with me so that we could talk. Because I'm gonna say, with absolutely no doubt or question, I am done, Tom, and it's not because I'm with Jensen because I'm not. It's because you don't love me and you need to move on...because I don't love you. Okay?"

I started to walk out but I stopped at the door when something in the security guard's hand caught my attention. "You should get help, too, Tom. Therapy has done wonders for me. Have a good life."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You should have recorded it!" Misha exclaimed when I told him about the meeting. "You should have recorded the whole thing! Then you could have released it to the media! Everyone would have seen him for the monster he is!"

"And then I would get in trouble for recording him without his consent and it would have blown back on me." I shook my head and chuckled, taking a drink of my Old Fashioned. "That security guard is gonna buy a brand new car when he sells the video he took, though."

Blue eyes popped wide on my laptop screen as he grinned in surprise. The blue eyes I can trust. "The security guard was videoing?"

"Yeah. I noticed on my way out, so I added a little flare at the end. I high-roaded and told him to get help. Therapy has done wonders for me."

"So video is gonna hit of him admitting to all the horrible things he did?"

"Yup. I don't know...kinda feels like it's finally over, ya know? I finally feel like I can move on."

"I'm glad. I'm happy that you can finally move forward and be happy too."

I hummed and nodded. “Happy sounds like a good goal. For now, we’ll call it ‘content’ or...Satisfied.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stay tuned for Another Second Chance, coming soon!

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[spacesuitsforemergency]

The 5th Wheel

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: I made Eduardo kinda an asshole oops...in honor of now all 7 of my friends now having boyfriends/girlfriends! Really relating to my boy Virgil lately...don’t worry I’m doing fine, I’m an independent woman who don’t need no mans/woman’s! (Thought I WILL accept applications from Ava Ayala and Tye Longshadow👀. I GUESS I could make an exception) also there’s a tiny Powerman and Iron Fist cameo in here!

Virgil followed behind, like he always did. He watched as you and Eduardo talked Tye and Asami’s ears off about some stupid date you two went on. Virgil felt a pang in his heart when Eduardo leaned down and kissed you on the cheek, and his eyes drifted to Tye and Asami’s hands, fingers intertwined with each other.

He always felt left out, more lately than ever. Ever since you an Eduardo became a thing and Tye and Asami revealed they’d been dating the whole time. You were always doing “couple stuff” now. You always invited Virgil, but even when he was physically there with you all, he always felt like he wasn’t. Like now, you would often forget he was there. It hurt even more because he had always liked you, ever since escaping the Reach together. He wanted to make his move, but Eduardo had confided in him and told Virgil about his crush on you. Virgil, being the good best friend that he was, stepped back and even set you two up. It hurt to do, but he wanted his best friend and his crush to be happy.

He never let any of you know how he was feeling, though. He continued making jokes and teasing each couple, as if nothing was wrong. Virgil didn’t want any of you worrying about him, and he certainly didn’t want anybody to know he was pining after you. That would cause a whole bunch of drama he didn’t need, nor want.

When you all got to your destination, the skatepark, Tye shouted: “Virgil! I bet I can do a better 360 than you!”

“Oh, you’re on, man!” Virgil grinned, temporarily forgetting about his loneliness.

After him and Tye had their little competition (Tye won, of course. The bastard), Virgil just skated. Skateboarding always cleared his mind, let him focus on one thing for a little while that didn’t involve himself getting hurt. Well, emotionally that is.

“Oh shit!” Virgil suddenly realized he was speeding right at you, and before he could stop it, he crashed.

Virgil groaned as he got up, eyes widening when he realized where he was; on top of you, hands on either side of your head. He felt his face heat up as he heard Tye laughing, Eduardo rushing over to the both of you.

“Are you guys okay?” Eduardo asked, biting back his own laughter.

Virgil couldn’t move, he felt paralyzed. The girl he’d been in love with for almost a year now, was right below him, her face inches away from his. He wanted nothing more than to fill the gap and kiss her, but he couldn’t do that to you or his best friend.

“Virgil? You good?” You asked timidly, worried by the strange expression on his face. He was uncharacteristically quiet, and his eyebrows were furrowed in worry.

“Um...Yeah, Uh...I’m sorry.” He quickly climbed off of you. Eduardo was staring at him, both concern and irritation in his eyes.

“Dude, what’s up?” Eduardo asked, suspicious of his best friends behavior.

“Uh...what?” Virgil asked, panic rising in his stomach. He was already flustered from being so close to you, and now his friend was starting to put the pieces together.

“You...are you serious?!” Eduardo started to get angry, realizing his friends feelings for you.

He’d always suspected it, Eduardo wasn’t blind. He could see even the tiniest glint of hurt in Virgil’s eyes whenever he kissed you or brought you up in conversation. What he didn’t know was how long Virgil had liked you, but if he did he would’ve gone a whole lot easier on him.

“What’s wrong with you, dude?” Eduardo glared at Virgil.

“What is going on?” Asami asked, looking between the two boys.

“Virgil’s a creep!” Eduardo spat, then erupted into curses directed at him. He was rapidly speaking in Spanish, so fast none of the Runaways could understand what he was saying.

“And you’re a dick!” Virgil yelled in his face.

“You’re the one who can’t get a girlfriend so you have to try and steal mine!” Eduardo snapped.

“Lalo!” You scolded.

Virgil became enraged, it felt like a stab to the heart. A kick in the gut. He shoved Eduardo back, making his best friend angrier and throw a punch towards him. Virgil dodged it, swinging back and punching Eduardo in the face. Eduardo held his now bloody nose, before kneeing Virgil in the stomach.

“Hey! That’s enough!” Tye yelled at them, grabbing the backs of their hoods and prying them off each other. “You’re acting like children!”

“What is the matter with you two?” You scolded them, Asami rolling her eyes in disapproval.

“Man, let go, man!” Virgil swatted Tye’s hand off of him, not taking his stare off of Eduardo. “You’re such as asshole, dude! You’re lucky I’m such a nice person or I guarantee you never woulda gotten with her in the first place!”

“Excuse me?” You cross your arms and raise an eyebrow at him.

“Man, you’re all blind! Y/N, I’ve liked you ever since the Reach, man! In fact, I was about to tell you but then Eduardo told me he liked you! So I stepped back, cause I’m a good friend! Unlike you, dude! None of y’all hardly notice me anymore, it’s all double dates now! I’m done!”

Virgil shook his head, grabbed his skateboard and stormed off. You all watched him leave, shocked at his outburst. Virgil was such a chill and cool guy, he’s never been angry in his life.

Eduardo felt like a jerk, he didn’t even realize what Virgil had been going through this whole time. Some best friend he was...

“We really messed up.” Tye finally let go of Eduardo’s hood, realizing he was still holding him back.

“I gotta go talk to him.” Eduardo mumbled, stepping on his skateboard and grabbing it.

Eduardo rushed after Virgil, running to the street corner he saw him disappear behind. He didn’t see Virgil anywhere, but knew where he was headed.

Eduardo skated down the street, arriving at an old school diner, Luke and Danny’s. This was him and Virgil’s personal hangout, they liked the vibe and the burgers. He walked in, seeing Virgil sitting at the bar counter with a soda. Eduardo went to the jukebox and played ‘No Scrubs’ by TLC, which was the song him and Virgil would play on repeat just to see how many times they could before Luke or Danny banner them from playing another song. Their high score was 8.

Virgil turned around when he heard the song start to play, sending a glare at Eduardo. He turned back around, ignoring him as he sat in the seat beside him.

“Dr. Pepper, please?” Eduardo asked Luke, the waiter behind the counter.

“What are you doing here?” Virgil asked, venom dripping in his voice.

“Just chillin.”

“Cut the crap, man. What do you want?” Virgil rolled his eyes, looking at anything but Eduardo.

“I wanted to apologize, esé.” Eduardo said quietly as Luke set down the glass of sizzling Dr. Pepper. “I didn’t know.”

“I know that.” Virgil scoffed.

“I’m serious, Virgil.” Eduardo looked at him. “I was way out of line. If I had known you liked her first I would’ve-“

“No dude. She likes you. There’s nothing either of us can do about that. This isn’t anyone’s fault, I overreacted.”

“No you didn’t. I was a total Tonto del culo, vato.” Eduardo said as Virgil finally looked him in the eyes, expression softening.

“Yeah, you were.” He gave a small grin. “Sorry for punching you in the face.”

“Sorry for kicking you in the balls.”

“You wish you did, dude.” Virgil chuckled.

“I’m serious though, for leaving you out. None of us realized we were doing that. I promise it’s not gonna happen again.”

“Of course it’ll happen again, y’all can still go on double dates Y’know. Just make sure to invite me once in awhile.”

“We cool?” Eduardo held out a hand.

“We’re cool.” Virgil smiled, taking his hand and half hugging him.

“Any food today, boys?” Luke asked, drying some dishes.

“Usual, man.” Eduardo nodded.

“Got it.” Luke nodded before handing off a ticket to the chef, Danny.

“So, how are you and Y/N?” Virgil asked.

“We don’t have to talk about-“

“Nah, I want to, man.” Virgil interrupted him.

“We’re doing fine. Took her to that dumb Ryan Gosling movie that just came out.”

“Man, you don’t like Ryan Gosling?” Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“Not when he’s shirtless and that’s why she wanted to see it!” Eduardo exclaimed, making Virgil laugh.

It was good to have his friend back, even if they were only fighting for a whole half an hour. Virgil even got some closure over you, maybe he’d move on soon. He had to eventually, nothing was gonna get in the way of their friendship. Not even a girl.

[willddheartt]

What If I Never Get Over You | JJ Maybank

Summary: The one in which you have a hard time getting over JJ after breaking up

Inspired By: What If I Never Get Over You - Lady Antebellum

Warnings: Idk, its kinda sad

Word Count: 1.6k

Masterlist

It's supposed to hurt, it's a broken heart But to movin' on is the hardest part

You knew it was supposed to hurt, seeing him around or with another girl. You knew that. But every time you saw him with his arm around another girl you couldn’t stop the aching feeling that made your heart drop into your stomach, as you remembered how that used to be you.  You used to be the one who got to throw your arms around the blonde’s neck and pull him for unexpected passionate kisses. Every day you saw him with someone new you wondered how he could move on so quickly, it made you wonder had he even really cared? 

You sat on the beach with Kiara, you poked and dug at the sand with a random stick from some driftwood that laid nearby when the two of you sat down. Even though the beach was filled with hundreds of people your eyes still found him in a crowd, spotting his beautiful blonde hair anywhere. Not to your surprise, you saw the beautiful blonde boy flirting with some girl who looked like all the other clueless Tourons who threw themselves at him. You tore your eyes away from them when Kiara poked your arm, bringing you back to the conversation you were having before zoning out. The brunette looked up to where your gaze had been focused on for so long, sending you an empathetic smile as she placed her hand on your knee. 

“How is he able to move on so quickly?” You sighed, focusing your attention back to the hole you were digging in the wet sand.  Kiara shook her head, “I’m sorry,”  “I know it was for the best, Kie, but why does it still hurt so much?”  “If I had the answer to that I would be a millionaire.” 

It comes in waves, the letting go But the memory fades, everybody knows Everybody knows

Some nights were easier than others, you could go to bed and pass out without your mind wandering back to him, without missing how his arms would wrap around your waist as the two of you settled into your bed, without crying and having your tears soak the sleeves of his sweatshirt that you were still yet to give back. There were times where he didn’t cross your mind for a day and you’d think was this finally it? Were you moving on? But the realization that you didn’t know what life was like without the blonde anymore always crept in the back of your mind. 

You were passed out on the hammock in John B’s yard after a tiring day out on the water, it was the first time you’d gotten proper sleep in a little over a week the dark circles under your eyes easily proved how tiring the entire break up had been on you. It had got to the point where your friends began worrying about you.  “Should we wake her up?” Pope asked, standing beside John B as they watched your sleeping frame sway with the hammock.  Kiara shook her head and hushed them, “Let her sleep, she needs the rest.” She covered you with a knit blanket from John B’s couch. “How has she been holding up since everything happened?” John B asked  “Not great.” Kiara frowned, “She’s been a bit of a mess since she and JJ ended things, and she hasn’t been getting much sleep,” The boys frowned  “Do you think there's anything we could do to help?” Pope asked John B shook his head with Kiara, “They were like the best and worst combination.” John B said  “They worked together so well but fought too much,” The girl commented. 

What if I'm tryin', but then I close my eyes And then I'm right back, lost in that last goodbye?

In all honesty, you were really trying to move on, and forget about the surfer who charmed you over six months ago. You were. But everytime you were alone or closed your eyes he was on your mind, his smile, laugh, anything about him. You couldn't shake how you left things to break them off, you didn’t think he would actually let you walk out on him. He never did before. 

The two of you were in the middle of a fight, as per usual, it turned into a screaming match in the middle of the chateau, with the thing that sparked the fight long forgotten. “All we do is fucking fight, I don’t understand how this is a relationship anymore,” You yelled  “Don’t like it? Leave,” He snapped.  You nodded, “Fuck you JJ Maybank, were done,”  With that you stormed out the front door, slamming it behind you, hard enough that the photos on the walls shook. You were half expecting him to come after you as you were walking down the driveway because, well, he always did, but this time was different. 

And what if time doesn't do what it's supposed to do? What if I never get over you?

You thought you needed time, you'd tell yourself you needed one more week, maybe a month, and you could be over him but a week turned into a month, one month into two and then into three and here you were. Sometimes you regretted what you did, regretted walking off, storming out. But if you went back to him now you’d look pathetic. 

Sometimes it felt like you’d never get over him. Maybe months go by, maybe years from now And I meet someone and it's workin' out Every now and then, he can see right through 'Cause when I look at him Yeah, all I see is you

Four months later you decided it was time to try and get back out there, you couldn’t spend your entire life stuck up on one guy. Even though that's what seemed the easiest. You were talking to some guy who was walking the line of Kook but who still lived on the Cut, he was always around and you’d seen him at school a few times. He was nice.  The first month was great, amazing almost, you thought that you’d finally be able to get over JJ and forget the two of you even happened.  But James was skeptical that you were even over your ex. You couldn’t figure out if it was the J in his name or that he had the same blue eyes, but every so often you'd look at your new boy and all you would be able to see was JJ. 

“Can we talk?” James asked as he sat you down at a picnic table in the park.  You nodded, “Always, what's on your mind?” You asked, tone light even though over his shoulder your eyes fell on the blonde who still consumed your thoughts.  “I think we should break up,” James said.  You looked at him, mind going blank, “What? Why?”  “You’re clearly not over your ex,” James scoffed, “You’re staring at him right now, c’mon.” He paused, “Listen, you're wonderful and I would have loved to see how we could work out under different circumstances, but I’m not a rebound.”  “Okay,” You sighed, pulling your gaze up to meet his. Okay?” James questioned, You nodded.  “Okay,” You repeated  “That's it?” He asked, you nodded not trusting your voice to speak, “Al-alright, I’ll see you around then,” James nodded, leaving you sitting there at the picnic table. 

What if I'm tryin', but then I close my eyes And then I'm right back, lost in that last goodbye? And what if time doesn't do what it's supposed to do? What if I never get over you?

As you dropped your head down into your hands on the table you could feel another set of eyes on you. You knew it was JJ, it was funny how you broke up but could still feel his gaze when it landed upon you. You told yourself you wouldn’t cry over James, you couldn’t. Not while you were still sitting in public. Never.  “Hey,” A deep voice said from across the table, even though you recognized the voice immediately, you still looked up. JJ sat across from you at the table now, you sat up, wiping under your eyes careful not to smear your mascara. “I saw what happened,” He spoke  “Are you here to give me pity?” You sniffed refusing to make eye contact  “No,” He shook his head, “I just came to see if you were alright.”  You almost laughed at the irony, he didn’t come after you when you guys ended things but he was here now after watching you get dumped.  “I’m fine, JJ,” You tried to say without any emotion to make the statement believable, “Just peachy,” You sighed, putting your head down in your arms. 

What if I never get over? What if I never get closure? What if I never get back all the wasted words I told ya? What if it never gets better? What if this lasts forever and ever and ever?

When the blonde got up from the table you thought he was going to walk off but ended up being surprised when he sat down beside you, patting your back.  “What are you doing?” You asked, your voice coming out quieter than you meant for it to  “We might be broken up but I still have a heart,” He chuckled as he continued to rub circles on your back like he did when the two of you were together and you were having a breakdown.  “Thanks,” You whispered leaning into his side. 

“Why’d you walk out?” JJ asked  “What?”  “That night, why��d you walk out?” He clarified  “I thought you’d come after me,” You said, “You always did, why didn’t you?” He shook his head, “I don’t know,”  “To be honest I can't even remember what we were fighting over,” You admitted  “Me either,” JJ agreed, his arm slung around your shoulders pulling you closer  “I miss you,” You whispered hoping he wouldn’t hear you “I miss you too,” He whispered back.

[tiliamericana]

Muay Thai: 1.17

Lind A: bring me lunch!

It was after eleven. She should be getting up and opening the dojo. This argument wasn’t quite enough to compel her legs to move from the bed, however, so Nairi lifted her phone and answered the text instead.

What do you want?

Lind A: idk get something you like and we can share Lind A: im at my studio!!

k

The ‘a’ button on her keyboard was sticking something fierce, and the black coating was worn away on the space bar and surrounding keys. Maybe she should get a new phone. She let the blackberry slip back down to rest on her chest as she went back to staring at the ceiling of her bedroom. The blanket was too hot where it was wrapped around her legs, and her shoulder was starting to ache where it had been pressed into her pillow and mattress for too long.

What did she like to eat? What did she like to eat that Linden also liked? Or, well, what was between here and Linden’s studio that had vegetarian options and food Linden liked, was probably the better question.

It was another ten minutes before she could make herself stand up and find a pair of jeans.

Almost an hour after that she’d made it to Linden’s studio, coffee and pastries in hand. Loud music was pumping out the propped-open door, grungier rock floating past the concrete paint can in sharp opposition to the cheerful pop from the last time she’d been here. Nairi stepped inside with her offerings, looking around for Linden.

“Oh hey, I thought you’d abandoned me,” said Linden cheerfully, and Nairi tracked her gaze down to see her sprawled on the floor. She was grinning up at her, hips twisted with one knee folded over her thigh, back pressed to the ground.

Nairi held up the paper bag by way of explanation. “Never. There was just a queue. Are you okay?”

Linden nodded sagely and shut her eyes, rolling her hips back down and shaking out her leg. “I had to pick up a box of glue off the craft shop floor this morning and I foolishly bent with my back instead of my knees, so now I must pay for my hubris.” She groaned as she sat up, taking a coffee from the proffered tray and grinning at Nairi. “Twenty-seven is way too young to even be having these issues, I swear to god.”

“Maybe your back’s just advanced for its age,” said Nairi, setting her tea and the pastries down on an unoccupied stretch of counter space.

Linden got to her feet and laughed brightly as she leaned over to her beat up ipod where it was sitting in a dock on the sill, spinning the volume almost all the way down. She straightened to grin at her head on as she reached out for Nairi’s hand. “Dad always said I was precocious. Come on, I made something for you!”

“Oh, what?” said Nairi, feeling the corner of her mouth twitch up as she let Linden tug her across the studio. “I only just figured out how to hang the last thing you painted me.”

Linden laughed again, letting go of her hand to reach up and pull down one of the two jackets from a hook on the back of the far door. “Well, this one hangs in a wardrobe, so I’m sure you’ll figure that out on your own.”

Nairi looked at the leather being offered to her, then back up at Linden, who jiggled the coat hanger at her.

She took it. It was a heavy, white motorcycle jacket, with two crisp stripes running the full length of the sleeves in red and green. The cuffs were zipped with sturdy silver tabs, and the pockets looked to fall just under the ribs with the same zips as closures. It was high-necked and padded in a way she instinctively approved of, with extra buckles at the neck and waist over the front zip. On the back Linden had painted an ourobouros of a dragon in green and black, its eye the same bright red as the stripe on the sleeves.

“Try it on,” said Linden eagerly, nodding at her. “I snooped in your drawers before I bought the jacket, so it should be the right size.”

Nairi felt her mouth twitch again, and she slipped the jacket on over her shoulders. It was comfortably snug around her arms, and heavy in a way that made it feel like it belonged there. The leather was a little stiff, not yet worn in, and the zip sufficiently toothy so that it took a second try to tug it down again. “It’s great,” she said, looking up and smiling back at Linden. “Thank you, you didn’t have to get me this.”

Linden was reaching up bring down its twin, and she glanced back over her shoulder at Nairi as she pulled it on. “Look, I saw them as I was walking past and I wanted one for me, and then I saw the white and I just hadto.” Hers was dark, crimson like her favourite wine-red lipstick, with thick, soft, elasticated fabric around the cuffs and waist hem. The painted embellishments were little lines of matchstick fires around the wide pockets, and a cherry tree in full blossom on the back, with a vintage style painting of a pair of cherries over one shoulder like a fake patch. “It gave me an excuse to break out the good paints too, the ones I haven’t used since I was a student. I had a lot of friends who did costume shit for theatre, the hardcore kind, it was nice to use them again! And like, I know it’s totally the wrong time of year for warm jackets and I should’ve held out for your birthday ‘cause it would’ve been perfect, but I got excited when I finished them and it’s been hard enough keeping my trap shut while I waited for them to dry.”

“It’s totally fine,” said Nairi, watching Linden give a little spin to show off her jacket before she shrugged it off again. “It’s just an early birthday present. Very early—preparatory, so I don’t have to wait for my birthday once it starts getting cold, and now you don’t have to worry about getting something for the day as well.”

Linden laughed again, ushering her back across the studio towards the pastries. “Oh, nice try, but you’re not escaping the birthday fun that easy,” she teased, picking up her coffee and nudging her broken chair towards Nairi with one foot. “Come on, sit, eat, give me the good goss, tell me how you and Aggy are going.”

“There’s not a lot happening, really,” said Nairi blandly, taking her tea back from Linden and sitting gingerly. The chair held, thankfully, if with a little more bounce than she’d been expecting. “You know, everything’s just kind of… fine.”

Linden pouted over her coffee before proceeding to loot the pastry bag. “Oh, that’s boring though! You two never do anything exciting, and you’ve been dating for like, months now. Seriously, nothing new?”

The impulse to laugh bubbled high in Nairi’s throat, and she swallowed it, wondering briefly where it had come from. “I think I’m okay with boring, honestly. Is your dating life not exciting enough?”

That got a snort as Linden resettled herself to lean back against the counter, raspberry crown in hand. “It’s a little cooled down at the moment, I won’t lie. Like, Simon and I are technically still ‘on’,you know, we’re just not, doing as much.”

“Tapering off, or just laying low from Nicholas?” asked Nairi with a small grin, catching the pastry bag as Linden tossed it to her.

Linden rolled her eyes, taking a drink from her coffee. “Si’s a big boy, he doesn’t need Nick barging in to tell him how to live his life. He’s still fun, it’s just, you know, reaching the point where people start making comments about taking him home to meet Dad and it’s definitelynot that kind of relationship.”

“Because you’re not expecting a ring or because he’s not up to scratch?” asked Nairi, tearing at a croissant.

“Yes,” said Linden, laughing. “Fuck, jesus, I’m nowhere near thinking about that, much less with Si’! That and Dad would eat him alive, he’s got an English degree—the only thing worse would be fine art.”

She hadn’t said it with any malice, so it was probably a normal sort of joke to make? “High expectations to meet?”

Linden grinned wolfishly. “Any partner I nail down better be ready to jump,” she joked with a darkly amused tone to it. “Dad’s good at what he does so he has high standards—typical lawyer shit, you know?”

Nairi shrugged. “Most of the lawyers I’ve met have just been dicks, but I think it’s different when you’re working with them as opposed to like, being raised by one. Is he defence or attack?”

Linden laughed loudly at that, hiding her grin behind her coffee cup again before answering. “Prosecutor, he’s a DA,” she said, sounding a little lighter. “Highest conviction rate in the state, only the best efforts for his job.”

“Damn, alright,” said Nairi, raising an eyebrow. “Kind of a bigshot?”

Linden nodded, setting her cup down. “Yeah, he gets kinda high profile sometimes—I don’t know if you remember a couple of years back, uh, Maxim Bailey? That guy?”

Oh yeah, she’d heard he’d been arrested. Nairi nodded, making a general noise of affirmation, and Linden nodded along with her.

“Yeah, he’s still salty he didn’t manage to get him on the murder charge, despite getting the other convictions,” said Linden, still nodding like a bobble-head. “Caught a little bit of media at the time, too.”

“Hell of a job,” said Nairi. Her thigh vibrated and she set her tea down to tug her phone out of her pocket.

“Stressful, he’s been talking about changing up careers for a couple months now,” said Linden, finally stopping the motion of her head.

Aga D: How’s your day? Any students for the first couple of classes?

She hesitated, chewing the inside of her cheek as her thumbs hovered over the buttons.

“Is that your giiirl-friend?” asked Linden, her drawl long and amused, and she lifted a leg to prod Nairi’s knee with her toe, making the chair spin a little.

Nairi glanced back at her phone, tapping out a response quickly. “Yeah, she’s just checking in.”

A couple yeah. Just having a quiet day.

Aga D: I’m glad! I’ll let you get back to teaching and stop distracting you :)

She tucked her phone away and picked up her tea again, suddenly not feeling much like eating anything.

Linden’s eyes were unreadable over her coffee, but she was smiling when Nairi looked at her. “That’s nice of her,” she said with a funny note in her voice. “I’m really happy for you two, you know that right?”

“Thanks,” said Nairi, shuffling her unappetising croissant back into its bag to avoid Linden’s piercing eyes. “I’m, um. I’m glad you both, sort of, uh, adopted me? Even if it’s in different ways. It’s been good. Really good.”

She covered her expression with her tea, not really tasting it as she drank. Why had that been hard to say?

Linden’s mouth twitched at the corner, just a hint of her normal dimples. “I’m glad you let us,” she said warmly, and suddenly her eyes were back to normal. “You looked like you could use a couple of friends when we met, and god only knows Agatha needed a relationship that actually worked out after her streak.”

“Yeah?” said Nairi, leaning to set the pastry bag back on the counter.

Linden nodded, giving her a rueful look. “Yeah, I mean, she told you how we met, right? Her boyfriend of like, ten years or some shit was one of my regulars, and when she found that out she showed up on my doorstep in tears, it was kind of fucking rough.”

“Oh, damn,” said Nairi, for lack of anything better. Ten years?Agatha had left that out.

“Yeah,” said Linden with an exaggerated grimace. “I mean, fuck, I’m pretty mercenary when it comes to cheating and the job, but even I felt bad. I helped her do some vandalism on him, and then I introduced her to Flo and some nice single people who helped her figure out she was into women, so like, it all worked out eventually, but it was kind of a rough time for her, you know?”

“Yeah,” echoed Nairi, feeling the pastry sink to the bottom of her stomach. “I’m glad it worked out, in the end.”

“Like I said,” said Linden, nudging her again with a wink and a smile, “she just needed someone like you to swoop in and be the good, stable girlfriend for her.”

Her tone was light and teasing, and Nairi made herself swallow more tea before she answered. “Right, yeah. I don’t know how ‘good’ I am at the whole, Prince Charming thing.”

She’d been trying for a joke, but it fell flat between them.

“You’re doing fine,” said Linden, her tone softening a little, and she looked at Nairi with earnestness in her eyes. “Seriously, Princess. You’re doing fine.”

End of book 1.

[aliceslantern]

Grow, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 13--Epilogue

Suddenly human and abandoned in the Keyblade Graveyard, Demyx struggles to survive and come to terms with what his life is. Only by chance is he saved from exposure, and brought to Radiant Garden to recover. Unsure of who he is and where to even begin, Demyx finds a kindred spirit in Ienzo, and before long finds perhaps he isn't the only one lost in this new life. But how can they move forward with so much holding them back?

Roughly canonverse, Zemyx, hurt/comfort. Started for Zemyx day (9/6). Updates Wednesdays until it's done.

Chapter summary: Edym and Ienzo continue to grow.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

It wasn’t all sunshine and roses.

The more time passed, the more trickling memories came back. The picture Edym got was never clear , exactly. More like brief flashes of insight. Fighting Heartless with his sister. Getting his ass kicked again and again.

Learning music.

It was their mother that taught him, that suggested maybe he shouldn’t follow in Elrena’s footsteps. Edym had always heard music in things, found himself gravitating towards it. Once it was well and truly in his life, it was like a hole had been filled.

But the more insight Edym had into Elrena, the angrier and more hurt he felt about how Larxene had treated Demyx. They’d both been amnesiac, but how or why had that relationship mutated to hatred? Had something else happened? Did she just feel that betrayed by him not joining her?

Would he ever know?

For a long while his life fell into a steady--mostly pleasant--rhythm. Work, gardening, time with Ienzo. It was all so painfully ordinary. Not that Edym minded that, at all. Waking up next to him was worth all the pain he’d gone through.

The others gradually got used to his presence, their relationship. The more Edym thought about it, the less he really wanted to find the place that was once home--especially if it meant leaving Ienzo. Maybe someday they would live in their own little house, with a cat or a dog. With or near friends. But for now… what they had was fine as it is. There was no need to rush into anything serious.

Edym and Ienzo… began to grow.

It was hard to leave behind that time in the Organization, especially because so much of Edym’s sense of self came from Demyx. And Ienzo had spent the majority of his childhood as a Nobody. Figuring out who they were and what humanity all meant was dazzling and confusing. The more his flickers of memories came back, the stranger Edym felt. He’d been soft, but he’d also been so young . He knew something awful had happened to their home, and, more likely, it had all happened a lot longer ago than anyone thought. But how, or why, Xemnas had found them was anyone’s guess.

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do to help,” Even told him. “Aside from patiently waiting for those memories to come back… we can’t look into what happened to your world without knowing what it’s called.”

Edym knew this was true. It still put a sour seed in his chest. He thought of his sister, of Larxene. Harder still to grieve someone who was likely alive. But where was she? How would she feel seeing him again? Did she even care?

“I know it’s easier said than done,” Ienzo said softly, one night after they made love. “But you have to stop torturing yourself.”

“I know. I’m trying. I just…”

“Want closure.”

“Well. Yeah.” Don’t you ? He almost asked.

“I know. I wish I could… take that pain from you.”

“I just have this feeling that she’s alive, and I-- even if we just… hash things out, I don’t know.”

“I can’t say I relate totally,” Ienzo said. “But I know how it is to… lose people to the unknown.”

“Your parents?”

He nodded. “I scarcely have any memory of them anymore. My memories used to be so--achingly sharp.” He touched his brow. “Now, not so much. To take a page from Ansem’s book… if you’re meant to find each other again, you will. You have to trust in that.”

“You really believe that?”

He sighed, and smiled. “Call me crazy, but I do.” Ienzo kissed him. “Want some tea?”

---

Time passed. Edym kept waiting for the other shoe to drop--for things to get complicated and messy again. But they didn’t. Even eventually replaced the other kidney. He grew closer to the members of the restoration committee, became friends with them. When Scrooge offered him the opportunity to manage the post office instead of just work it, he took it. It felt nice to do something that had a positive impact, for once.

He was sweeping up one day after close when he heard the doorbell. They’d recently moved shop away from the strange little bazaar into their own building. “Sorry, we’re closed. Drop your mail in the box outside. I’ll handle it first thing.”

“Look at you, a cog in the machine.”

Edym froze. Very slowly, he turned.

“...Don’t look at me like that. Whose idea were the glasses? Almost makes you look not stupid.”

He made a strange noise. “How did you--when--I--”

Elrena looked tired, her skin sallow. “It’s a long and ultimately very boring story,” she said. She picked up a book of stamps, looked at it with something like distaste, and set it down. She was still wearing the black coat, he noticed. “Xigbar didn’t bite it, you know.”

He gripped at his elbow. “Yeah. I know. He almost killed me.”

“Really? I thought there was a--I don’t know. Rapport, or something, between you two. He was one of the only ones who could stand you.”

Edym blinked. Seeing her, he felt something a whole lot more complicated than he thought. Not relief. Not happiness. “So he found you and brought you here?”

“...Something like that. He said this was where you ended up.”

Edym shook his head slowly. “You wanted to see me?”

She smirked. “Call me sentimental, but yeah, I did. Was wicked weird when I found out. Lauriam just thought it was hilarious. Marluxia,” she clarified.

“So he’s around too.” Edym set the broom aside. “Well. Good for him, I guess.”

There was a pause. Elrena cleared her throat. “You’re going to snitch about Xigbar, aren’t you?”

“Probably. Yeah.”

“...Is it bad I kind of want you to?”

“More pot stirring?”

“More pot stirring.” She grinned. “It’s what I do best.”

“So what are you two doing with him, anyway?”

“Honestly? I’m not completely sure. But I’m helping Lauriam look for someone, and then after that… well. The World is our oyster.”

Without ceremony, Edym said, “Stelitzia.”

“Oh, you remembered that much?”

Woodenly, he nodded.

“Lauriam thought he remembered someone getting her killed. But considering that nobody in this fucking world seems to stay dead… well.” She shrugged.

“Why are you telling me all this?”

She dropped her eyes. “Like I said. All this talk of his sister… had me feeling sentimental. And that’s so not cool. I thought if I saw you it’d stop.”

“Did it?”

“Don’t know.”

Edym let out a slow breath. “How long are you in town?”

“Not long.” She took another few steps towards him. “If you want, you can come with us.”

He laughed. “No. No way in hell. Sorry.”

“Worth a shot.”

“Why would you want me anyway?”

“You could see her again.”

Edym put his hands in his pockets. “I don’t want to leave what I have here. I… I’m happy, you know? I feel like I’m… starting to finally do more good things than bad. My life is here. Whatever we had before, as kids. I don’t think it was a life.”

Her eyes darkened. “No,” she said in a low voice. “It wasn’t.”

“You could have a life here too,” he said. “Or… not here, anywhere you want. You don’t have to go along with Lauriam and Xigbar. You could choose.” He offered his hand, and for a breath thought she might take it.

Elrena smirked. Shook her head. “Nah,” she said. “I’ve got things to do. People to see.”

“And undermine?”

“With any luck.”

Edym nodded. His heart settled in his chest. “Just don’t get yourself killed again,” he said. “And slug Xigbar good for me, okay?”

“Maybe. He does always seem to be asking for it.”

There was a pause, longer than the last. “You’ll be okay?” she asked.

“Yeah. I really will.”

“Well, okay. Then I’ll stop worrying.”

“You were worrying ?”

“Come on, Edym. We all know you’re not great at planning for the long term.”

“Maybe I’ve changed.”

She waved a hand dismissively. “I should go. My ride’s waiting.” She headed towards the door.

“Wait--Elrena--”

She turned, her lips pursed.

“Why did our Nobodies hate each other so much? Cause I don’t think I hate you now.”

She thought about it for a moment, her teal eyes flashing. “The last time we saw each other, we fought,” she said. “Can’t tell you for my life about what.”

“About the cult,” he said, with clarity.

“The Dandelions,” she corrected.

“I didn’t want you to leave me.”

“And I didn’t want to have to baby my brother.” She shook her head. “Well. Turns out that never happened. You were stuck with me. Maybe I resented that.”

Edym nodded.

“And being a Nobody makes you angry for no reason anyway ,” she said, more lightly. “Does that answer your question?”

“I think so.”

“Then I should go.” For a second, it seemed like she might touch him.

“You have a phone?” he asked.

“What, one of those dumb things? What kinda budget do you think we’re working with?” A grin.

“...Right. Well.” He took a deep breath. “I guess… if I see you, I see you. And if I don’t…”

“Yep.” She put her hand on her hip. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“You, either.”

“And hey. If I really need something, I’ll just write.” She winked. “Bye, Edym.”

“Bye, Elrena.”

When she left, she didn’t look back.

---

Edym sat heavily on the blanket. His joints hurt from a long day of work. It was his turn to bring the picnic, but instead of cooking, he’d been too tired, so he’d just gotten takeout from Ienzo’s favorite place. He hoped that would suffice.

“I know I’m late,” Ienzo called. “Even was being very--” He cut himself off, his eyes wide. He looked around the courtyard slowly. “When did you have the time--”

“I’ve been here almost all day.” His face flushed.

Ienzo walked around slowly, touching the new plants in their pots. The orchids. The lanterns Edym had hung around the peripherals of the property. He’d tried to repair some of the stonework in the floor, too, but accepted that he was a terrible mason. Ienzo turned to look at him. “Why did you--”

“We’ve been spending a lot of time here. I wanted to… make it nice.” He stood, wincing at the ache in his hips. “Aeleus helped me with this.” He reached over behind the old fountain to turn on the pump.

“This must’ve taken hours--days,” he said. He shook his head. “Edym, I--” He touched one of the orchids. “You even remembered these.”

“I wanted to do something nice for you. It is your birthday,” he pointed out.

Ienzo jerked.

“Did you forget?”

“I did entirely,” he admitted. “Time doesn’t pass in that cursed lab.” He wrinkled his nose. “Thank you.” He leaned in to kiss him. “Really. Thank you.”

He shrugged, the blush in his face getting hotter. “I… liked doing it. Let’s eat, okay?”

They did.

“...You know, you don’t have to work in that lab,” Edym said.

“It has been wearing on me lately,” Ienzo admitted. “But I have to be able to… do good work. Good things. It’s the only way I can sleep at night.”

Edym squeezed his hand. “No need for you to suffer doing something you hate.”

Ienzo shook his head. “I don’t hate it,” he said. “Knowing that I’m doing something worthwhile does feel good.”

“But it’s the coworkers that suck?”

Ienzo grimaced. “Quite. At least Even is at least partially distracted by the research work you’ve given him. He’s been criticizing my coding like his doesn’t look two or three languages behind.”

Edym chuckled.

Ienzo set down his bowl. “You know…” he began. “This life is no longer feeling quite so strange.”

“Isn’t that good?”

“I think so.” He put a hand to his chest. “I was worried that humanity would never feel quite right. Everything still overwhelms me. But… at least that sensation isn’t always negative anymore.”

Edym kissed him. They rested there together for a while longer.

“I mean, this whole mess only began because of my poor self-control,” Ienzo continued.

“ Hey. I don’t think we’re messy .”

“We’re a little messy,” Ienzo said.

“Well. I’m glad that it all happened. I feel like you’ve… helped me.”

“The feeling is mutual,” he said. He sighed. “Hopefully our next mistakes are equally fruitful.”

“Har har.”

Ienzo leaned back against him. For a while, neither of them said anything; they didn’t have to. “Shall we head back?” Ienzo asked. “I could use some--ah--stress relief.”

Edym smirked. “You got it.” He kissed him, longer this time. “Let’s go home.”

[cutegirlmayra]

#NotAPrompt saddly:( Anyways hello hope ur having a good! So from an amazing writer to your fellow beginner writer. How do you organize ur ideas or outline it before you start a sonamy story?

Thank you and great question!~

When you start any story, there needs to be a written Outline, or spine, of a story. Loglines also help to organize a clear direction for your story– example: Sonic, a free-spirited and adventurous hedgehog, and his friends must collect all 7 chaos emeralds to stop Eggman and a released, ancient god of destruction from threatening their world. - Logline I made up for Sonic Adventure. A logline is one sentence that clearly establishes a character and conflict.

Once you have some ideas, let’s say maybe you have the middle worked out or the exciting incident, you then create an Outline. Act 1, Act 2, Act 3. Act 2 should be the longest and biggest portion.

In my prompts, I usually hurry through Act 1 to get you to the exciting incident and then smoothly transition through a wrapped up conclusion.

Act 1 should be small, almost equal to Act 3′s plot points. Act 1 is you introducing the normal life before something twists it around, the conflict. The conflict is the starting point to Act 2, where you begin the rising action.

(the most simplest form. There are other arcs, such as ‘Character Obstacles’, ‘Character Tragedy’, and ‘Character Hero Story’. There are a few more too, but those are the ones I write the most of :)b There’s even a romantic one! Look them up and find your favorites in your own stories, comics, or movies ;)b)

For example, in my lastest Sonamy story, the turning point for the characters was when Amy also got sick with Sonic. This changed the normality which was that Sonic was originally sick, and now, the conflict begins of how are they gonna hide from the robots while both being squished together sharing leaves and turning ditzy in their sickness? I then lead that to Act 3, where silliness does ensue but they end up having a memorable, although disgustingly funny, platonic moment together that turned sweeter and even romantic as the conclusion unfolded. (Prompt: x)

Granted, this story is NOT a work of art haha XD I was inspired to make it, but the plot to it was extremely simple, which is why no real ‘action’ takes place and it’s all character emotion that drive the plot forward.

OR

OR

Many ways a character can express or subtly hint at their emotions. Sometimes they’re impulsive and transparent, wearing their hearts on their sleeves. (AMY) Sometimes their shy or subtle, opting to mask their emotions deep below the surface until they can’t help but ‘leak’ their emotions out during the climactic reveal and ‘breaking point’ for their character or plot summary. (Sonic.) Sometimes their so out of it, or not even in tune with their own emotions that they play them off and go cynical with it all. (Sometimes, I see this as Classic Sonic, but not always.), there are many more. Find them all! lol

As for my bigger fanfictions, I do make a summary, which is the full story condensed into a page or so worth of ‘notes’ as I refer to them. It’s not as neat as labeling Act 1-3, but it does give me a basic outline.

For Example, you can’t use your summary outline for your summary to your story. Your summary should have the reader asking questions so they’ll want to engage with the story. Instead, your Summary Outline should look like this:

Sonic and Amy, during a normal fight with Eggman, suddenly mention a tough topic for the both of them that causes some bickering and tension. When the tension accelerates beyond normal teasing, the two end up accidentally losing their tempers and hurting each other. Eggman, deciding drama’s not what he wanted today, sends a fully-armed attack at them while their distracted, thinking it a good opportunity to catch Sonic off-guard. However, though Sonic looks like he’s about to get whammed by the ambush, Amy pushes him out of the way and they survive. Amazed, Sonic rushes over to her, “Amy! W-why… Why did you jump in the way like that? I don’t get it… Weren’t you mad?” He hovers over her as she weakly squints an eye up at him (NOTE: This part is getting more detailed, can you tell? It’s the climax of the story and should have much more detail and notes going on. Even dialogue that can be rewritten or changed. It’s okay to have notes like this for your most dramatic scene, and keep the rest of it generally swift, but try not to go too vague. If you do, you may forget how you wanted to write that part, and that’s NO GOOD! -Sonic reference, lol!) “S-Sonic… Don’t you understand?!” She wobbly gets up to lean up into his face, “No matter how mad you may make me, or how awful our bantering gets, I will still love you no matter what!” (Exciting Incident, Amy’s confession, which will lead to a reaction in not only Sonic but the audience. This is the height of the climax and when things start to go down, but Sonic’s climax is right after this– example: ) Sonic, taken back by her words, suddenly smiles, “I can do no wrong by you… can I?” Amy smiles, and when Sonic realizes she’s not teasing or messing around this time, loses the smile and has his eyes scan her for any sign of humor. When none is found, he embraces her, “…Thank you… Amy.” (This is the point you begin the falling action, which is also the beginning of Act 3, which starts at the ending of the climax and continues towards the resolution, the lasting effect or result of the climax. What has now changed for the characters? What is their new reality? In Drama, there needs to be a few players: Victim, Villian, and Rescuer. Rescuer has to lose every time, then the dynamic will change to Victim as a Villain, and Villian as Victim. This then turns into ‘Creator of the drama’ which is neither victim nor villain, to two supports, ‘Challenger’ Sonic then turns to Eggman, cocky and snarky as usual, but this time, with an arm around Amy’s shoulders. They fight together and beat Eggman, still lightly joking with one another, but not as bad as before. Eggman is confused, defeated, he asks what happened. Amy and Sonic confidently look to each other, and together, wink slyly and say, “Friends fight together!” Before Sonic says, “Doesn’t mean they’ll leave ya if you have different opinions then them.” He smiles to her as she nods and continues his sentence for him, looking to him with love and admiration. “It just means you’re two different people, and that’s just fine by me! Otherwise, the world would be so boring!” (The lesson is usually delivered towards the end of Act 3, maybe not as strongly as this was. Sometimes, the lesson can be subtle and should be too. You don’t want to write ‘on the nose’ unless you’re writing for children very young, but in my opinion, Children are super smart too and pick up on a lot! My advice is to write strongly and powerfully even if it’s just for children audiences. They’re smarter than you think!) “And dull!” Sonic remarks, as the two of them laugh. Unable to comprehend their strange mood swings, Eggman grips his head and ducks down, frowning profusely, “Ahh… Now I have a headache…” (

And by the end, your audience will have understood the climb your characters took to reach that resolution, and they–themselves–reach a conclusion to their emotional relief. (People hate cliffhangers so much because you leave the Audience suspended in their need for closure, but that also addicts them to your story… so Authors can’t help but use it XD But we hate having it used on ourselves!!! Curiosity doesn’t kill your story, only your cat! And the satisfaction of knowing brings it back ;)b)

Was it hard for your characters to reach a conclusion?

Did that help? Lol This plot I made was rather simple, but I hope it taught it some stuff I like to think about when making a story! :D Drama is SO IMPORTANT! Remember to think of their character cores as well, what traits could create conflict in them and in others? What traits could help them learn and cope through that trauma? These are all important, and Romance usually has a ‘revelation’ or ‘impulsive excitement push’ around 10-15 pages/minutes when writing or watching a romance plot. I call it the ‘push’ because you can tell the writer is trying to nudge the two together. In film, you see them get bumped up against each other and then apologize but the girl moves her hair as a distraction and the boy looks away, but both are nervous and awkwardly blushing. That’s another ‘push’ in my book towards the romantic subplot.)

(Then they notice their cute, they keep seeing each other, la-de-dah, even AMY wanted this to happen!)

(Remember, this is Amy’s ‘day-dream’ sequence, it’s interesting how she thinks of Sonic, versus how he actually portrays himself. Useful info for writing Sonamy XD)

Alright! How’d I do? What Sonic and Amy stories will you create, my precious Anon friend? Good luck! And I can’t wait to see the success you find!

[bow-woahh]

Heal Me After Hurting chapter 2 DVD commentary ask?

Send me your favorite scene/chapter from one of my works and I’ll post a DVD commentary on it.

Heal me after hurting! it's been a while since I've revisited this so I'm excited to talk about it! It's crazy to think it was nearly a year ago when I wrote it. It genuinely feels like just yesterday.

Chapter 2 ("Sick of saying nothing back") is the chapter where Catra and Adora actually start to communicate their feelings about each other and past together (hence why it's pretty dialogue heavy).

Catra has obviously just woken up from a nightmare and is still feeling pretty out of it, so it makes sense she'd be a little less closed off as a defense mechanism. Plus after hours of not actually speaking to Adora, she actually really wants to.

"Catra? Hey...hey, babe— don't, don’t cry, what’s wrong?”

I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure Adora says babe at least once every chapter. Maybe just one and two. But yes, that was purposeful.

(“For many, closure is a good tool to put an end to lingering questions and thoughts in one's mind, for others, all it does is remind them of things you needn’t reminders of. Over due time, you’ll figure out whether you want that closure or not, or whether to move on and look towards the future.”)

It's so sad that S5 completely destroyed the Micah as Catra's father figure/advice giver character but hey I still love the idea of this dynamic and I stand by it with him as her therapist in this fic.

Also, closure is a very important theme in this chapter, as neither of them got that: Catra because she literally wasn't allowed to get any and by the time she was it was too late; Adora because although she did break up with Catra, it was over text and was the last thing she wanted to do. Lots of unresolved issues were left behind.

“You—” Catra stops herself, takes a breath, then tries again. "You just...disappeared out of my life, left."

There's an obvious reason as to why Adora left and completely cut her off (because of Catra's mental health and how she wasn't just a danger to herself but others too) but it's so unlike her that Catra wants to believe that there was some other reason, that is wasn't just because—in her eyes—that she wasn't good enough. And actually, she turns out to be kind of right.

“I wasn’t well,” she says, mouth dry and words meek. It comes out like an excuse, even though it’s anything but.

This is at the moment the closest Catra can get to an apology, because she knows what she did was wrong and has grown a lot since then, but it's still so hard to admit that, especially to the person the hurt the most.

"It's just, I just...I dreamt about—"

Adora scoots closer. "Everything that happened that night? Yeah, I, um…I do too sometimes. It must be worse for you though, especially because…” she hesitates, then says, “still– you're not supposed to use your voice, you need to fully recover, okay?"

She cares SO much like ❤️🥺

"I didn't know what to do, or say, what was allowed." Adora replies, still apprehensive.

Adora likes rules, and boundaries. Before, although their relationship was obviously still kind of convoluted, for all it's faults it worked. After the incident, even once Catra was leading a healthier life, Adora had no clue how to approach her, if she could approach her. All the boundaries once there were gone with new ones that were so blurry that there was no point in trying to cross them. It was as if they were strangers, which is something Adora wasn't equipped to deal with.

Adora also says before this: “Everyone said– they said to give you space. So you could recover. So...I listened.”

Because she didn't know what she could do, what the boundaries were, she followed the guidelines set for her by others, which may or may not have been the right thing to do.

“You still care,” Catra whispers, bringing her knees up to her chest, head starting to pound as she begins to regret the bold statement.

Despite everything, despite Adora taking care of her the whole day, it's only now that Catra realises (or let's herself acknowledge) that Adora does still care greatly for her. Adora is obviously amazed at how Catra can even imply otherwise, because Adora never stopped caring and she thought it was pretty obvious.

Closing the lingering distance – the lingering tension – between them, Catra moves to sit opposite Adora.

“Adora... I’m sorry. For everything. I wish that– I wish things were different. That I was different.”

This!! Line!! Okay first — the fact Catra said the same thing in S5...I'm a prophet. But also, this is so important because now, just like in the show, now that Catra's finally admitted to the person she hurt the most that she does feel remorse over her actions, she can move forward now. Obviously, the contexts are a little different but I'd say it mostly applies.

Maybe things were always destined to happen this way.

Listen Catradora are simply star crossed lovers, but only for a little while. I just feel like in every universe it only makes sense of they fall out/grow distant before coming back together. They get their happy ending, but it just takes a little while yknow?

"No, it wasn't right, I should have spoken to you sooner, instead of lurking in the background…" the colour seems to rush to her face at the statement, and Catra can't help but be curious about what she actually means.

I remember when I was outlining literally writing how Adora would like,, low-key stalk Catra to see how she was doing. Nothing like super creepy, maybe just sitting in one of lectures or watching her with Scorpia and Catra at a coffee shop that she just happened to go to as well. Completely coincidental.

Catra wants to say 'me too'. She wants to shout it out at the top of the lungs, because all throughout when she was recovering she thought of Adora, love or hate – or a mix of the two – she thought of her.

Obviously drawing from the show here. Like it was clear they never really stopped thinking about each other and the same can be said here. Catra could never quite get rid of Adora from her mind. Partially because of how much she cared and loved her but also because of the fact she'd had so little closure from Adora.

“I didn’t even have my phone. The old guy was pretty careful with who I talked to in the first month or so. But…” she halts, and can’t help but wrap the arms around herself tighter.

A little extra info that I never put in the fic because it just relevant — Catra has a dad in this, which is who she's referring to here. Also, if you couldn't tell from the few context clues here and there, Catra is also pretty rich too. She wasn't exactly spoilt when she was growing up because, for a while, her dad was married to SW (picture evil step mum) but by the time she was around 16, 17, she's out of the picture, because of an,, unfortunate accident. Shadow Weaver is either present or dead in all the fics I write, okay?

“[...]They all told me to cut all ties with you, so you’d be able to focus on yourself, so I could do the same, and what I had wanted to say wasn’t exactly what everyone else expected.”

[Adora taking about the message she sent to Catra] I imagine before Adora agonised over what to say to Catra for days, much to Glimmer and Bow's dismay that they ended up sitting down and helping her right the message that she actually sent, but she obviously hated it then wrote the message she actually wanted to send in her own, before being unable to send it and going with the other one.

“Catra, I’m here babe, talk to me,” Adora says

She said babe again?!? Damn I went to town lmao

“Don’t...don’t cry,” Adora says, unconvincingly and accompanied with a weak smile in an even weaker whisper of her own. That’s all it takes for the dam to crumble completely and overflow. When those tears finally pour down, her first sob sends shivers down her spine, and it quickly worsens from there.

Ouch...this scene hurts to read. I'm sure when I was writing it I was laughing manically at the pain I was going to inflict on you all but...damn. Like the way Catra is trying so hard to stay strong but as soon as she sees Adora distressed again she just breaks down. God how an I getting hurt by my own fic??

Carefully, cautiously even, she wipes a straggling tear from her cheek, and with her lips just slightly upturned, mismatched eyes piercing through sky blue ones, she whispers, “it’s okay now though? Isn’t it?”

This moment is. Everything. So far, a lot of this has been Adora comforting Catra, Adora literally looking after Catra, but this is finally Catra reciprocating that by comforting Adora back, by letting her know ‘I'm here for you too.’ Also the brief tension that this causes.. wonderful.

Catra can see, smell, is Adora, and her lips are right there, looking soft and alluring like they always have, like they'll be enough to dissipate all worries, cast away all her doubts. But she’s scared, scared for this to happen, because it’s all so soon, too sudden, and moments before they'd been crying, and what if she messes up, what if this gesture messes it up?

I loved finding out how I actually fooled people into thinking they were gonna kiss. I'm sorry. But I'm not. Most people actually said they were glad they didn't, which was very much the response I wanted, so I was pretty happy with it.

“I was kinda worried you'd never come around, or that we'd get close and one of us would shut down once the serious stuff was brought up. If I’m being honest, I nearly didn't come— when Scorpia asked.”

"I don't see why she asked or why you'd want to." Catra shrugs

Yes. Scorpia was 100% being a bit of a shit stirrer. She knew these two fools needed to talk to each other.

Casually, Adora let's out the next statement as if it were fact. “They weren't you.” she answers with a shrug.

At this point Adora has long accepted that there's no one like Catra. That there's no one who can replace her. What she was to her. Obviously she tried, but Catra was still there the whole time in her mine. Catra is just it for her and she knows that. So for her, admitting this is as easy as breathing because she's come to terms with it.

But she can't, she's too far behind, she's still processing, and she hates that, because Adora feels – is – a million miles ahead of her, and she wishes it could be easy, that she could be easy on herself, that she could let Adora hear what she wants, no, needs to hear…though she just isn't there yet.

I feel so bad for Catra here because she feels like she can't keep up with Adora's pace, how well she's handling this, but it's not even her fault, like, it's just harder for her to deal with it like :((

Catra never saw the need for it anyway– Adora already looks stunning without it. Expecting her brain to chide her for even thinking that, Catra is practically amazed when there’s no little voice in her head condemning her for thinking such a thing, for going back there.

Progress,, we like to see! Obviously, in the last chapter we see more of this as well, which is great.

Adora, who broke up with her. Adora, who was once her everything. Adora, the one she had hurt the most, was here; talking to her, accepting her, smiling at her, forgiving her.

Callback to chapter 1,, we love to see it lmao

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this! Sorry it took 59 years but to make up for it, chap 8 of bloom will be up in like 2, 3 days! (:

[popculturebuffet]

OK KO Reviews: Back In Red Action

As you can probably tell by the fact Red Action week started 4 days ago my schedule slipped a bit, with a bunch of unexpected stuff, an expected job for a friend, and a day of laziness with the isle of armor meant I never got around to writing it. As such i’ve decided to play catchup.. all 3 reviews, HOPEFULLY all in one day. And yes 3 as I decided to cut Plaza Prom for a number of reasons: It’s not all that necessary, I was doing it more for myself, and if I find time before or after pride ends, I can easily cover it in isolation, so being done in a timely manner isn’t an issue like it is for the red action ones, or the other three pride month reviews I have planned after red action week. So witht hat dust settled let’s talk about Enid.  While I went on about Enid a LOT last time, for good reason, a LOT has happened since episode 3 as you’d probably guess, episodes I will cover in the future because enid is awesoeme. And the two episodes that built her up a bit had plaza prom as the creamy filling for that airing sandwitch, and were unsuprisingly good. But since we’re not covering them just yet Enid confronted her ex best friend and dealt with her and rad’s bumpy past, and that coupled with our previous episodes and some others have melted down her walls a bit. She’s still a bit distant, and still terrible at her job as ever, but she’s grown as a person and grown past her past. Now it’s her turn to do what K.O. has done for her, he was inttrumental in getting her to stop ignoring Elodie and confront her, for someone else. Let’s recap this.  back in red action under the cut...

We open with a normal day at the Plaza and Enid’s alone, with K.O. offscreen and Rad not in this episode so he’s not around and Gar clearly gone or else he’d be yelling at enid probably.  Enid’s checking around on her phone and after checking to see if anyone’s there, once again decides to look at Red’s social because that’s not creepy. But Enid browses it wondering why Red came here in the first place, figuring there’s probably better food, better this , better that and trips up on a picture of Red with her old girlfriend, Yellow Technique.. and yeah i’m not beating around the bush, while they never come right out and SAY IT, the episode contextualizes things as such. I Mean granted given my shipping habits on this blog, you can see i’m willing to ship plenty of kids together, and even then only in a “Awww” holding hands, maybe an awkard kiss way, and am a shipping monster who has plenty, but here i have no horse in this race, it’s just really obvious subtext. 

Anyways enough Cul De Sacs, Enid sees a new picture... Red taking a selfie with an unaware Enid.. and who probably just heard Enid’s last few sentences and at the very least dosen’t care. After a flirty “Hey Ya” and enid awkardly hiding her phone, Red buys some gum for cover then invites Enid to hang out for the afternoon then leaves.  Then KO pops up out of nowhere hilariously, and for his only scene this episode to gush about Enid’s sorta date, though Enid is paranoid it’s just a setup for some sorta joke or prank.. which given that red was willing to set a child on fire while her friend spanked him because that’s not weird at all, yeah kinda a good point, even if she’s ignoring the obvious signals that, for once, Red seems to be genuine. She WAS a bit awkward at times during asking her out, pausing or stammering, she just quickly recovered. But it also shows the downside, if breifly to red’s kind of life: If your an ass to everybody, even people who genuinely like you may worry your just messing with them. 

But when Enid goes to return the gum, she finds Red not only waiting but ninja snatching the gum.. and doing that to a NINJA takes skill. Top notch. Enid realizing this isn’t a prank holy fuck her crush really did ask her out out of nowhere, suggests a few things before Red shoots them down gently and revealz their going crusing. She also has enid turn her back and cover her ears while she summons her submarine.. using a sentai/power rangers set of poses and summon chant, as you do.  With their ride here and enid buckeled into Red’s Submarine, and Red dodging any questions Enid has about her past , you know, the oppsitie of normal first date behavior. Everyone knows your supposed to talk a lot, get them coffee, look deep in her eyes and tell her about your family, hold hands then shoot cocaine into your eyes and rock a buglarly. 

But no instead of any of that Red has something just as romantic and dangerous planned their going high into the...

Which, befiting this wonderful show, is an actual place that’s full of explosions, maurading gangs and dinosaurs.. I mean every place is full of dinosaurs but this place has extra dinosaurs. It’s like the savage land if it didn’t annoy me as a setting. So the two cruise on exotica style, though in a great bit Red keeps enid from unbuckling, and when asked about her past again Red dodges and instead takes them down thunder road, where the lightining strikes.... I.. I can’t stop waxing lyircal this review. Help.  On thunder road the two share a moment when both go up top and see how damn pretty the place is, what with all the glowing orbs, Red gets electrocuted and both look at each other lovingly at diffrent points with that faded light effect, you know the one. I”d name it jeremy but it definitely has a name. The two really bond and it’s telling that it’s those moments where things go well: Enid’s not nervously trying to ask first date questions, if not wrongfully and Red isn’t running from them. Their just two teenagers attracted to one another getting to know you getting to know all about you.. getting to know if you like me.  Anyways, enough of my nonsense that’s now clearly a medical condition, Red’s old friends show up to spoil the mood, with Red brushing them off as performance artists, and a chase insues.. and it’s really well done. I’ll get into this more in a minute. The two max max race, Enid gets into the cockpit and makes good use of it as it’s just like shooting womp rats back home. With help from red, they manage to get two of the hue troop cars to collide and the two hide behind a sign despite it telling them not to back to the future style. It’s here we get into the heart of the episode and what makes it really work for me: For most of the season, before and though not as often after this, Enid’s been standofish even to people she cares about, blunt and hard to get to open up. But the two incidents I mentoined last time that caused her to harden her heart and swallow her tears... got some closure in thos enidcentric eps. IN short Elodie returned and Enid tried to act like it didn’t bother her and Elodie throwing their relationship away like hot garbage for her own admitssion into point and then came back smug as ever, but KO once again got through to her and convinced her that she needed to face her and in a stunning action sequence, i’ll gush about it more when I review the episode eventually she whalloped her and got closure, even if Elodie was ssitll super popular. She then patched things up with rad after Cupid showed up to force her and rad on a date to deal with their sexual tension since Rad went on one with her in middle school that went terribly because rad listend to his friends and his friends are obnoxious piles of toxic masculinty who sucked and were not unsuprisngly phased out of most of season 2 aside from the one episode they were needed and only showed up in season 3 for rad to tell them off. It went poorly, Enid nearly died and Rad saved her and apologized for being a dick, taking the two from would be exes who are understandibly bitter to best friends at long last. 

So Enid’s healed some of her wounds.. sure she’s still standoffish.. but she’s finally opening up and letting the right ones in. And now it’s Red’s turn. Red has the same problem: She dosen’t hide but she does run or scream at issues, and as someone who tends to be quick to anger I totally understand that, a tendency to lash out due to some other thing bothering you even when the person did nothing wrong. But her crush, and now possible relationship with, Enid gets Red to finally stop dodging Enid’s questions and open up and we get Red, and her friends Backstory Red and Friends are The Hue Troop, a group of warriors founded by a woman who long ago found a powerful prisim that linked to the mysterious Zordon-like alien Ren-Bow, a precog who could sense oncoming disasters and thus empowered the woman and her 4 friends with attitude to  stop them. Like Minority Report meets Power Rangers but the Minioirty Report part actually works. And like civil war 2 if the leaders of both factions weren’t douchebags especially you Carol. But given the fight is eternal they pased their powers on generation after generation , and it was Red and co’s turn. But Red chafed at being part of a team, wearing uniforms, following orders from a rock, doing sily poses, which came to a boil when she accidently, truly accidently broke the Prisim and rather than face up to what she’d done, ran for it and thus ended up here, hiding from her past in the past.  It’s also revealed Enid’s one way crush on her is not one way. Red had also been stalking HER social media, like Enid too intimidated to make a move before now, though we DO have an explination for what changed things coming. She liked how unlike Red enid had her own style, moves and a disregard for authority. it also frankly explains a lot about Red.  spent her whole life probably, given we see what could be a kid version of red or red’s mom in the finale, preparing to be a hue trooper, given the whole generational thing i’m theorizing the Hue Troop we see are the kids of either the first gen hue troop or the second, the flashback also supporting this. Her whole life being what other people told her to be, following orders doing poses.. not being her own woman. So when being forced to turn fugitive meant she had to hide, it also meant she was free to do what she want, and went about it in the worst way: being rude to people and lashing out at them because she could, only spearing the girl she found cute and her two friends, who went along with the beahavior likely due to both liking red and being deeply insecure themselves as we saw last time, from her obnoxiousness. Even if it wasn’t a generational thing, I still supset the pressure of having to be part of a regimented group drained her and rather than talk about it she likely just avoided it like she tends to do.. and like ENID tends to do.. So it’s says something for Enid’s own development when she encourages Red, who also asked her out since Red figured shed idn’t have much time left, to STOP RUNNING and face her problems.. and punch them in the face.

Yellow shows up right as Red agrees, and a fight breaks out.. and a damn good one. I put a pin in this earlier, but the shows battle scenes, vechicalr and man to mand, are utterly gorgeous, well coregraphed and part of why I belive the animation style is so simplified. Besides allowing for the necessarily unique background cast, it also means that when it’s time for an action scene they can go balls out and give it everything without the episodes taking as long as say steven universe or a disney show.And it shows as even this brief fight is tense, well done and full of emotion as Red’s ex and her former friends fight Red and her new girlfriend with both sides having every reason to go at it. It’s crimnally cut short when a metor hits.. the same metor delivers the crystal. While the rest of the Hue Troop instantly realize this and run, Red dosen’t because it was in the distant past.. and in a great move Enid has to tell her dumbass girlfriend that they ARE in HER past. They run, Red is hit and we get the cover image for the shippers and to make it CRYSTAL CLEAR that yes this was a date. They didn’t steal a few picassos while on a sexy date heist but still. 

Also  Red stole the crystal, and her friends assume it was her plan all along. Red almost takes credit for it.. but a glare from Enid shoots that plan down and Red, once again genuinely opens up, apologizing for running from them and her problems,and implicitly hurting Yellow, as while they clearly aren’t together anymore, either due to this or other shenanigans, it still had to hurt what red did. She also thanks Enid for being the one to show her the error of her ways. that being said with a fresh prisim, it’s just as likely that the Hue Troop can now clone it and get a copy back to the past for Red to be her own grandma, as I theroize given the finale again and all and red still being around.. more on that nexttime, the troop have a working prisim till then. They part as friends with the rest of the troop encoourging enid to visit sometime and Yellow giving her approval and getting her own closure as the troop leaves.  And so we end as Red and Enid decide to resume their everything but saying it’s a date date and go Lava Surfing as they drive out into the sunset. THE END.

Final Thoughts: Just as good on rewatch as the first time around and a great ep, not just for the LBGTQ rep, as while I belivie we’ve seen a bi flag sticker on enid’s bike helmet at this point, and would in all future appearances of it and she’d later stick one on her flying motorcycle she gets in the last season, and there was subetext with elody and red and text with rad, this showed she was a bisexual beyond any shadow of a doubt and did everything short of having them kiss, that comes later, to confirm it. But besides being one of the series delightfully gayest episodes, it has good story, good charcter progression for enid as we see how far she’s come from those early episodes, and Red gets a good character arc that both explains her past actions and has her grows as a person. And we’ll see more of this next time as we hit 88 miles per hour and Red Action to the Future. Until then, follow for more reviews of animated shows, check my blog for more as I have pages for each show, and hit me up iwth an ask if you have a show you’d like me to review or force me to review it for 2 bucks by asking for a commission! 

[thebestcomicking]

My Thoughts On: She Ra Season Finale ( With Spoilers)

Oh man oh man oh MAN, that’s what you call a Season Finale!! The whole time I was expectin Adora to save Catra’s ass in the end after being chipped by Sybok from Star Trek V Horde Prime. Yeah let’s get that shit outta the way, Horde Prime is basically Albino Jamaican Jimmy Swaggart, who thinks Rock N Roll is the devil’s music and people needs to cleanse there soul with Sha Ka Ree or Amy Grant or whatever. Also he’s one hell of a host, he brought Glimmer and Catra over for dinner, even provided five star meals when Glimmer’s inprisoned, showed off his collection of stuff from planets he destroyed, and very well mannered to his guests. Swell guy when he’s not trying to drain the Heart Of Etheria and turning the people there into the Borgs.

Now the chemistry with everyone was fantastic, I like that after all the shit Glimmer pulled off in the tail end of Season 4 Bow wasn’t too keen with her for good episode or two. It’s great to see Catra and Adora together and not throwing shit at each other too. I was kinda surprised in retrospect how early on they got Catra back and joining the Rebellion. Also a bitter sweet closure between the two and Shadow Weaver. The hair cut she got looked similar to the hair cut I gave to Entrapta. Speaking of which, Entrapta grew a lot in this season, realizing that some action she makes have consequences and there are more important things to worry about other than tech stuff.Movin on to Scorpia, nothing too much but she and Perfuma had great chemistry together, and she sang a James Bond tune fro good measures. Also my fuckin artwork predicted that shit, except she wasn’t singing “Still Loving You” by Scorpions. Hordak... He showed up time to time with mood swings whenever he thinks about Entrapta. I kinda wish he showed up a little more so I could give a shit (I’ll get to my opinions about the two later). On the other hand I think I prefer Wrong Hordak better. Fuckin, he’s a gem to look at I’d much prefer him over the real one. I’m glad he made it through. We also get to see more of Netossa and Spinnerella this season and good LORD this woman and her wife should’ve showed up more often. Netossa might be the Lonnie of the Rebellion cause she’s the only one who sprayed water on Catra’s face when discussing people’s weaknesses. Smaller rolled from some minor characters are great too. George and Lance comes back safe (thank Dio) and Double Trouble’s bit were a joy to watch.

Now I got some minor nitpicks which range from “Oh Yeah” to “Who Give’s A Flying Fuck”. My question is what happen to the three who joined Adora and the gang in the USS Darla? Like did they forget to take them back home when rescuing Catra off of Horde Prime’s Ship? Was Catra like “You’re on your own BITCH!!” and scuddled the fuck off? That’s the biggest problem I have, btut the next problem I have are negligible. Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio only have a cameo, and I really wish they did something. Yeah I get it, this season was suppposed to only focus more about Adora and Catra, but a little reunion would’ve been kewl. Like Lonnie gives Catra a thumbs up or something. Also The P is finally comfirmed. Going back with Hordak, my only problem is that I kinda wish we get to see a tad bit more, only because I completely forgotten about him til the end where he Palpatined Horde Prime. Should’ve fuckin did this to him:

Small Rant Warning

“HEY FUCKIN ENTRAPDAK IS A CANON SO SUCK IT” Yeah it happened. As I expected and accepted back in Season 3. I’ve kinda grew into to it, but still probably not enough to actually draw the ship in a romatic sense. The two being casual together I’m more willing to draw that, and have Hordak kinda being in denial that he’s in love but every one’s like “Pfft yeah, right. You TOTALLYT don’t love her”. Them doing something stupid together, OH HELL YAH I’ll draw that shit, cause it makes me laugh. “SO ARE YAH GONNA STOP DRAWIN YOUR SHIP WITH ENTRAPTA AND KYLE!!!!?” Nope, cause 1) you guys keep throwing fuel to the fire, and 2) I still like drawing the two together, amd it’s only an AU ship and never my Canon ship. Ok maybe it was before Season 3, but I’ve wrote it off as an AU ship now. Also The P has been confirmed canon. I don’t fully dig Entrapdak, but at least it was written off well.

Uhhh any other ships I have in mind... Oh I can dig shipping Perfuma and Scorpia. In fact I’m debating whether or not have my fankid, Petunia, have two moms and a Scorpian sister. Also I might draw Rogelio and Kyle’s kid just for good measures cause The P has been confirmed canon. Ok it’s not but Scorpia said Kyle has crush on Rogelio, and being a good parent taking care of Imp. I have several idea’s to draw, and I’m currently workin on a two page spread. In the end Season 5 is a fantasic way to end the series. Even though we all want more, where else is there to go? An epilogue season akin to Steven Universe Future would be nice. I have my ideas but it heavily involves my OC being a main villian. Anyways I enjoyed it.

[artificialqueens]

To New Hytes, 9/? (Group-fic) -  Mac

AN: Hi, hello, how are ya? Sorry, it took so long to update, and thank you for sticking with me. Meggie is an angel for helping me out with this chapter, and an angel in general, but you already knew that.

Summary: Kameron gets a new costume, Nina and Monet talk, Scarlet and Yvie don’t, and Trixie reads Katya’s weird autobiography.  

Blair found Kameron lounging on the couch in Brooke and Nina’s office. Nina and Monet were bickering over something or another, but then a moment later smiling at each other like idiots. Nina’s face was perpetually red and Monet’s smugness could be felt from miles away.

“Knock knock.” Blair spoke softly even though she had been standing in the doorway for a few seconds at this point. The three women looked up at the sound and Kameron adorably sat up straighter. “Can I borrow Kameron for a sec?”

Nina and Monet shared a knowing smile. “I’ll do you one better, you can keep her,” Monet said.

Kameron rolled her eyes at Monet, but flashed Blair a sweet smile.

The two girls exited the office and barely made it three steps before Nina and Monet burst into giggles and none-too-quiet gossip.

“Sorry ‘bout them.”

Blair waved her hand dismissively and waited until the two of them came to the bottom of the stairs, just out of earshot from the office before grabbing Kameron’s hands in hers.

They took a moment.

“Hey,” Blair spoke softly.

“Hey,” Kameron said back.

“I missed you.”

“Yeah, where’d you run off to?”

Blair nodded her head, “That’s what I wanted to talk to you ‘bout.” She took a deep breath.. “I went to see Brianna.”

Kameron’s face went through a slideshow of emotions before finally settling on surprise. Her body went tense, but Blair shook her head reassuringly before Kameron’s mind could bombard her with worries.

“It ain’t what you think. I went to get closure.”

“Oh.” Kameron looked relieved.

Blair tightened her grip on Kameron’s hands and stepped even closer to the older woman. “Kameron, honey, I like you.”

Kameron sighed, “Blair, I already told you—”

“Let me talk.” Blair cut her off. “Just because I don’t talk right don’t mean I’m stupid.”

“I know—”

Blair held up a finger to halt her.

“I knew I liked you. I knew for a while now. I wanted to do somethin’ for you, show you. You’re good at readin’ people, but I think you missed somethin’ kinda important.”

“And what’s that?”

“I’m crazy ‘bout you.” Blair looked up at Kameron from under her eyelashes. “I wanted to make you somethin’, show you that I got feelins’ too. Follow me.”

Kameron let herself be led by the hand through the backstage of their home theatre. She had a distinct feeling of deja vu as they passed the familiar metal framework and speakers and equipment that lined their path. It felt like only yesterday they had made this same trek to Blair’s office. Not much had changed over the past months, only now their fingers were interlocked, and Kameron wasn’t afraid of the cocktail of affection blooming in her chest at the gesture.

So maybe a few things had changed.

They stopped just outside the door, and Blair turned to Kameron expectantly. “You trust me, yeah?”

Kameron’s face softened. “Of course, angel.”

“Close your eyes.”

Kameron did as she was told and didn’t try to fight the smile on her face.

The door creaked open and the two shuffled inside a bit, then came to another stop. Blair’s warm presence was suddenly lost at her side, but Kameron wasn’t worried.

“‘Kay, you can open ‘em.”

Kameron blinked open her eyes and was met with the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.

Draped elegantly over a mannequin was the dress from Blair’s drawing. It had come to life.

Kameron stared at it for a few moments before reaching out a hand to touch it. The fabric was so soft in her hands she thought it might disintegrate from her mere touch. The blue was even more brilliant in person, and just the perfect shade. Kameron let her hands roam over the garment, appreciating each and every stitch.

Blair was standing to the side of the display, biting her lip nervously.

“It’s beautiful,” Kameron finally whispered, scared if she spoke too loudly she would ruin the moment.

Blair finally looked up to  meet Kameron’s eyes. “It’s fittin’ for you then.”

“Blair, I—”

Blair cut her off, scared if she didn’t fill the silence with something it would swallow her. “And the only reason I had drawn you in that notebook was ‘cause I already filled up another one with just designs for you.”

Blair took Kameron’s hands in hers again as the former senior stage crew member wracked her brain for words.

“Blair—”

“You don’t gotta say nothin,” Blair cut her off again.

Kameron’s hands lifted out of Blair’s to trace the curve of the young costume designer’s face, and the two exhaled together. The tension that always lingered in the air when they were together hung peacefully above their heads. It wasn’t pressing or all-consuming anymore.

It was comfortable now that it knew it had an end.

Kameron pulled Blair in and finally, finally their lips met. There weren’t fireworks or explosions in the distance, but there was heat. There was passion and joy and all that built up sadness. It all coalesced into something measured and practiced and oh so very slow. If Blair were with anyone else she would have lamented how leisurely it felt. But she was with Kameron, and Kameron wasn’t going anywhere. They had all the time in the world.

After a few moments Kameron had to pull away, the weight of what they were doing suddenly hit her, and she couldn’t keep from smiling.

“What?” Blair asked, lips reddened, color high on her cheeks, a brilliant smile on her face.

“Nothing.” Kameon laughed to herself. “I just, I thought you didn’t date dancers.”

Blair’s smile somehow got even brighter, practically lighting up the whole room, “I thought you weren’t a dancer.”

…

Monet woke up to the sound of typing.

Correction. Monet woke up to the sound of typing and whispered curses.

She made her way slowly, sleepily, into Nina’s living room. The older woman’s face was illuminated by clear blue light. She looked beautiful, if not a bit frazzled. The mountain of papers strewn haphazardly about her couch added to the frustration no doubt.

“Hey,” Monet whispered in greeting.

Nina looked up, surprised. “Oh, hi. Sorry, I was talking to B earlier and I thought since I was already up, I could start working on this—”

“Neens, it’s four a.m.”

“I know,” Nina sighed. “Brooke is just dealing with a lot and-”

Monet cut her off. “You know you don’t have to care for everyone all the time, honey.”

“Who else is gonna do it?”

“Their damn mamas.”

Nina smiled a bit, but still seemed hesitant to leave her work cocoon. Monet came over to sit beside her, careful to not disturb the papers. She took Nina’s hands off the keyboard and held them in her own, noting that Nina winced initially. “Tell Brooke to can it for now and come back to bed.” She spoke softly.

Nina’ averted her gaze and looked back to the computer, “I’ve got to finish this poster for the—”

“Ehn. Wrong answer,” Monet cut her off.

“But I—”

“Ehn.”

“‘Net—”

“EHN.”

Nina sighed, “Seriously, I—”

“ENH,” Monet interrupted a fourth time. “You really aren’t getting this are you?”

Nina sighed and Monet took pity on her. She pulled Nina into a standing position and walked her over to the big glass windows that overlooked the city. She wrapped her arms around Nina’s waist and rested her head lightly on the older woman’s shoulder. Monet noted again how Nina tensed up at the contact. She could sense something was up with the older woman. After their numerous years of friendship it was like a sixth sense at this point.

“Look out there.” Monet motioned to the glimmering city below.

“What am I looking at?” Nina asked.

Monet pointed to something far off in the black distance that Nina couldn’t make out. “You see that.”

“No, what?”

“It’s dark outside.”

“Yeah?” Nina said confusedly.

“So that means it’s sleep time,” Monet said deadpan.

Nina rolled her eyes and turned around in Monet’s arms. Now Monet knew there was definitely something more going on because Nina was as stiff as a wood plank in her grasp.

“Okay, what’s really wrong?”

“Nothing!” Nina tried and failed to say believably.

Monet sighed. “What happened to talkin’ to each other about things?”

Nina averted her eyes and let out a breath. “I just… It’s weird isn’t it? Do you find it weird?”

“Do I find what weird?” Monet spoke slowly and clearly; she didn’t want another misunderstanding.

“This,” Nina motioned to their intertwined bodies. “Touching like this, kissing, being… together, like, for real together.”

Monet must have looked confused and a little hurt because Nina launched into one of her rambly explanations.

“Not bad weird! Just strange.” Nina shook her head at herself. “Not strange, just different. Like not bad different or weird, just unusual.”

Monet tried to wrap her brain around what Nina was saying, “How is it strange?”

“It’s just…” Nina took a breath in. “I imagined getting together, being with you so many times. And I had pictured all the grand romantic gestures… but I just… I just never thought about the little things. Like the cuddling or the hand holding or-or any of it really.”

Monet smiled in spite of herself. She knew it, objectively she knew Nina had, but it was still nice to hear that Nina had imagined them together so many times. Lord knows Monet had done the same.

Nina noticed her expression and relaxed a bit in Monet’s arms. “Before, I had to stop myself eleven times a day from leaning over and kissing you or doing something else embarrassing and so I think my brain just hardwired itself to stop those actions. So I think I’m still just getting used to the fact that I can.”

“That’s…” Monet searched for the right words for a moment, “really sweet.”

Nina chuckled. “Really? Because it sounds crazy to me.”

Monet just smiled wider. “I think I imagined us so much that this,” Monet motioned to where her hands perfectly fit to Nina’s hips, like they were always meant to, “just feels like a really good dream. Like the kinda of dream I never wanna wake up from.”

“See, that was sweet!”

Monet threw her head back in a laugh and Nina followed right along with her.

When their laughter died down, Monet raised a hand to cup Nina’s cheek. The smile on the older woman’s face lit up Monet’s insides.

“So do you not want me to do this?” She asked Nina seriously. “Because we can take it slower if you want.”

Nina grabbed Monet’s hand and placed it firmly on her hips. “We’ve been taking it slow for nearly four years. If we take it any slower I think I will actually combust.”

Monet chuckled.

“Just-just don’t get upset if it takes me a second to warm up, okay?” Nina spoke softly.

Monet shook her head. “You won’t upset me, baby.”

…

Yvie had been pacing around the backstage of whatever theatre they were in this week when she heard it. Hushed whispers being passed back and forth as two figures made their way to the main stage. Yvie, ever the nosy one, strained her ear to pick up on the conversation.

“–why you’re worrying so much.”

“She’s getting suspicious. I can tell.”

Yvie immediately recognized the second voice as Scarlet’s. Her stomach turned unpleasantly at her girlfriend’s worried tone.

“She’s been asking me so many questions recently,” Scarlet sighed. “Maybe this is a bad idea.”

Yvie noticed the voices getting closer and closer to where she was standing. She ducked behind a speaker and slunk down low in the shadows, ignoring the ache in her joints at the sudden movement.

“Scarlet, you’ve been wanting to do this for a while now. She’s gonna understand. It’s what’s best for both of you. For your relationship,” the other voice reassured calmly.

Scarlet sighed again. “I’m just scared.”

“Whatever her reaction is, you’ll be okay. I’ll be here for you whatever happens.”

Yvie could hear Scarlet’s slight smile in her words. “Thanks, Dela.”

Yvie was so preoccupied with her own racing thoughts that she hardly heard the footsteps receding.

Yvie had known something was off. Had known it for months now and still she had been foolish enough to think they could get through it. They had weathered so many storms by now.

Getting together in the first place had been a challenge.

Scarlet was slow to warm up. Even slower to commit. And even when she had, Scarlet hadn’t been happy. She liked freedom. Yvie did too. The only difference was that Yvie knew that two arms wrapping securely around you at night weren’t a cage. That caring and being cared for didn’t strip you of your independence.

That love, in all its painful glory, really wasn’t all that difficult.

It had taken a lot of time. Had Yvie not believed with every ounce of her being that Scarlet was the one, she would have given up.

But she did, so she hadn’t.

Yvie stayed and braved each storm as it came, ducking for shelter when she needed to, and coming up for air. Eventually, Scarlet did the same.

Scarlet opened up one night. There was no outward prompt, no push, nothing made her take the leap, she just did. She opened up about her past. She still glossed over the grimy bits, the not-so-shiny moments that Yvie could see reflected in her eyes. But she opened up about how she felt, how she was feeling at the time.

But ever since she had been open, she was still hard to read at times. She still needed space a lot of the time, but she was happy. She was happy being someone’s someone. It wasn’t nearly as suffocating anymore.

Yvie felt the opposite now. She felt like there wasn’t enough air in the world that could fill her lungs.

She felt like the whole world was crumbling in her hands and she didn’t have the ability to stop it. To pause.

To figure out what the hell had gone so wrong that Scarlet needed out.

…

Ever since their last encounter, Trixie had held onto Katya’s weird autobiography manuscript thing like a precious heirloom.

She hadn’t read it yet. She told herself she was waiting for the right time. The only reason she knew it was an autobiography was because Katya kept texting to ask if she’d read it yet.

Trixie just couldn’t.

In truth, she had tried to read it the first night she got it. She had readied herself on the hotel couch, pried apart the wilting pages, and promptly shut the book again.

Something about it felt wrong. She felt out of place mining through Katya’s memories.

So it had been about a week and she still hadn’t read it. They were back on tour in some random city, and Violet was on her case about it one night, and they maybe had gone through the hotel’s mini bar and raided it for the best stuff, and they maybe were laying on the hotel floor when Trixie had accidentally kicked the book across the room to her horror.

She scrambled up on unstable legs to retrieve the manuscript in the far corner while Violet just cackled loudly.

Trixie picked it up. It felt somehow heavier than last time. She looked down at the worn and wilting pages and something in her, maybe the whiskey, told her that now was the right time.

“Will you read it to me?” she said before she could think too much about what she was asking.

Violet belched and thought for a moment. “But I don’t like her,” she said simply.

Trixie sighed. She knew. “I know, Vi, but I can’t read it.”

Violet gave her a hard look; well, as hard a look she could in her state of drunkenness, before nodding jerkily and making grabby hands at the book. Trixie handed it over and the two scooted up the bed so they were both leaning against the headboard.

Violet had less care for the book than Trixie and flipped the pages harshly, nearly tearing the dedication page. Trixie winced despite herself.

“‘Dedicated to the best damn tap dancer I ever met,’” Violet read out.

Trixie rolled her eyes and tried not to find it sweet. She failed.

Violet inhaled and then exhaled before turning to the first page, “Okay, ‘once upon a time—’”

“Vi,” Trixie said unamused.

“It really says that!” Violet insisted.

Trixie shook her head and rolled her eyes. “No, the fuck it doesn’t, give it here.” Trixie yanked the book over to her lap and sure enough.

Of course she fucking started it with that. Trixie thought. Like how all stories about princesses start.

Violet gave a self-satisfied smirk and curled herself into Trixie’s side. “Read to me.”

Trixie chuckled. “I thought you were supposed to read to me?”

“Can’t see. Too drunk.” Violet murmured, melding her body to Trixie’s side and resting her head on Trixie’s shoulder.

Trixie huffed indignantly, but bit back a smile.

She sighed at the page in front of her and tried to mentally ready herself. “‘Once upon a time, in a little-known town called Moscow—’”

“How the hell can I hear her sarcasm through a book?” Violet interjected.

Trixie ignored Violet and went back to reading. “A little girl was born to two loving parents. She grew up in a castle and had servants waiting on her hand and tiny, baby foot. Life was easy.”

“I thought she gave this to you to make you feel bad for her,” Violet murmured.

“She gave it to me because she’s an idiot, now shut up and let me read.”

Violet huffed against Trixie’s side, but mimed locking her mouth shut.

Trixie sighed. “‘Then, one dark and stormy night, like for real there was a storm and shit. Really scary. Don’t recommend. The news came that her older brother died.’”

“Oh fuck,” Violet whispered.

Trixie looked down at Violet, the younger girl’s eyes imploring for her reaction. “I didn’t know she had an older brother.”

It was clear she didn’t know a lot about Katya.

Trixie looked back down at the page, still stunned.

Trixie didn’t have siblings. Didn’t have much family left. The dance company had become like family in a way.

Violet.

Violet had become the closest thing she had to a sister. The thought of her dying made Trixie’s chest constrict and tears pricked at the edges of her eyes.

Violet must have sensed this, because her hand came to wrap around Trixie’s middle. Trixie’s hand rested lightly on Violet’s head, fingers tracing through her hair slowly as she continued to read.

“‘Things changed around the palace. The little princess had to start learning diplomacy and German rather than how far you could launch a rock into a stream (the answer was pretty fucking far). She had to grow up too fast. Seven tutors and ballet practice and music lessons and not a lot of childhood was left. But such was the way of the world. She was the future of her family. The future of a nation she had barely gotten to see.’”

Trixie could hear Katya’s voice so clearly in the words. She could hear her trying to joke through the pain, trying to brush aside the hurt that she still felt. Because that’s what it was. Hurt. It read so clean and clear on the page.

“Well that… kinda sucks,” Violet said quietly. “But I mean… that’s her job.”

Trixie shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

Trixie read on. “‘It was too much of them to ask from such a young kid. She started acting out, skipping practices, coming to fancy dinners late, shirking her responsibilities.’”

“So being a kid?’

Trixie hummed. “‘And one day her family said enough was enough and they introduced her to a prince. A lovely fellow. Really he was. Kind and handsome, if you were into facial hair. Which she wasn’t really, but it didn’t matter. She couldn’t do it. Couldn’t marry a man she didn’t love just because he knew how to lead. So one night, she stole away into the nearest town and bought a ride out of her home city. She disappeared under the cover of darkness never to be seen again.’”

Violet was quiet for a moment, mulling over the sentences.

“So, basically, she ran away from her responsibilities because she didn’t feel like it? Cute. Really attractive quality to have in a partner, nice goin’, T.”

Violet was being harsh, defensive.

She was also right.

Trixie closed the book, her mind spinning out in her head, trying to keep up with all the new information.

Katya was a princess. She had done all the princess things you read about in fairytales. But she had also had a weird and rough childhood. She wasn’t free to make her own choices for most of her life.

Trixie knew the feeling.

But Katya also cared for her country. She never said it outright, but Trixie knew. In all the little details she gave to her stories, in all the secret smiles she hid poorly, in all the ways that she didn’t let show.

And Trixie cared for Katya greatly. Probably too much, all things considered.

Still.

Trixie wasn’t sure it would be enough to keep her.