#maybe it’s the autism but nothing is more infuriating to me than to be told to ‘lighten up��� when someone is behaving DANGEROUSLY

[shadelorde]

After seeing all these Orbo defense posts on tumblr circulating around, I’d thought maybe the clips I’d watched had been taken out of context.

And they were, but the context actually made him look worse.

Yes, Scarab should not be neglecting his other summons (or manhunting people, though I don’t think that’s what Orbo seems to take issue with) but…he is correct in that multidimensional fuckery is not. safe. Or at least, he’s had it drilled into his head that it’s not safe. Like being a god auditor is. His job.

When Scarab tells Orbo about Prismo’s unauthorized universe, Orbo’s response? “Prismo? Nah. That guy’s cool.” Immediately showing right off the bat that he will and does play favorites. If he’s able to pull Scarab from whatever universe he wants after being able to tell that he was neglecting his other calls, how is he NOT able to tell that Prismo created an entire unauthorized universe in the first place? And when he DOES find out, does he believe Scarab? No, because “Prismo’s cool and would never do that.”

And like. Scarab clearly knows he would react this way. Even if Scarab DOES have a vendetta against Prismo because he wanted to be wishmaster, he’s right (or has been taught by the same system that he is right) that an unauthorized universe without proper precautions IS DANGEROUS. But he knows Orbo wouldn’t believe him, so he wants to talk to the Upper boss. And Orbo physically prevents him from doing that. Which to me, reeks of a bad middle management who doesn’t want to get caught being bad at his job and playing favorites, so he keeps his employees from alerting someone in a higher position of power. He physically pulls Scarab into a different room and says “you can make your case to me.”

And when Scarab does “make his case” to Orbo, Orbo responds with. “Say goodbye to your legs.” Like. I do not fucking care actually if he was joking around or trying to be funny but I am of the opinion that it’s WILDLY inappropriate to threaten your employees in AMY situation, and scarab CLEARLY did not take it as a joke. And he really only stops when the upper boss DOES call, THEN he backs off.

And it doesn’t really matter whether Scarab “deserved” to be taken down a notch, because like. Orbo was STILL a bad boss and did it in ENTIRELY the wrong way and still chose to play favorites, AND it is, in fact, Scarab’s fucking job to deal with this kind of multiverse shit, which he points out, which Orbo has NO comeback to except to threaten his LEGS.

Also to me, Orbo reads like a boss who’s trying to be Cool and Relatable and is like “this isn’t just a workplace guys it’s a Family :)” which is the biggest red flag a boss could ever have.

[who-the-fuck-is-sennalye]

Man 10-year-old me was so pissed at everything but honestly looking back she was so right.

A horrible start to the year. First you got enrolled into a split class without even being consulted. This wouldn't be the first time, but the problem was you'd be learning at a sixth-grade level. It's not like you couldn't do it, you were certainly "smart enough." But you didn't want to. And if either us have learned anything it's that nothing gets done when you don't want to. You begged to be put into a normal year five class with your friends, but you were told many times the school wouldn't relent.

You hated your teacher. She didn't like you much either. You found her condescending. She found you defiant. Now suddenly the doctor, who usually dealt with five-year-olds, was saying you have something called "Autism Spectrum Disorder." Your friend had autism. She confided it to you like it was some dark secret. The teacher didn't like her much either. She went to the "special class." You didn't know quite what it was, but you found the teacher of that class even more condescending than your regular one. Naturally you hated her too. The school gave your doctor a list of pathologically described behaviors. You were infuriated at the insinuation that any of them were a "problem." You didn't know what autism was, but from your experiences, you knew it was a Terrible Thing. You didn't want that label staining you for the rest of your life.

You weren't officially diagnosed for another three years.

I mean, no wonder you thought autism was a terrible thing. Every adult that accused you of it was awful and condescending. You had been so used to your parents treating you like a human being with opinions, and interests, and meaningful things to say; you were infuriated when all these doctors and teachers and therapists treated you like this child who just couldn't understand. You were a child. And you didn't understand. But you deserved something better than the stigmatized explanation you got.

A particular instance stands out in my mind. You were in counseling with your dad. Dad said that the clear cups were easier to wash, so you should use those more often. You tried to counter that if he wanted you to use the clear cups, he should make sure those cups are clean. But the counselor interrupted you, said you should listen to your father, because he is the Parent, the Adult, and he knows Better. You bit your tongue and spoke even less in therapy sessions that you already did. But me? I am frustrated for you. Why couldn't I express my objection to my dad? Why couldn't such a trivial matter be open to discussion? Why couldn't I question such a menial request? It's a terrible precedent! A threat to a relationship that, all my life, has been based on open communication! Do you think I would've questioned the request if I believed such a thing would be unacceptable? My parents are an authority, sure, but not an unquestionable one!

If I knew how to articulate this at the time, maybe I would've. But given how silent I tend to be at therapy... I doubt it. The point is moot now. The plastic cups are all gone, and we have a dishwasher now. But the principle of it is what bothers me to this day. The suggestion that my relationship to my parents should be one of unquestioning authority is unhelpful at best and detrimental at worst.

I've gone off topic. I was going to mention friendships and other things probably, but. I think this is the thing I wanted to get off my chest.

To ten-year-old me, I'm sorry your introduction to autism was one of confusion, of condescension, of stigmatization, and of demonization. I'm sorry you viewed it as something wrong with you, rather than an explanation. I'm sorry your parents didn't know how to advocate for you. I'm sorry you didn't know how to advocate for yourself. I'm sorry you didn't know how to articulate your feelings. I'm sorry the people who were meant to help you only made you resent your diagnosis more. I'm sorry they put you in the wrong class. And overall, I'm sorry you had a really shit 2015.

You totally deserved to be pissed.

[askanautistic]

Hi. (22/F) I’m really struggling with my self worth. I got diagnosed with asbergers when I was 16 and so depressed I daily thought about ending my life. But what I felt when I got the diagnosis what’s just like being told that all that I struggle with and are depressed about and hate about myself, the reasons why I was bullied so much and the reasons I feel so much (too much) in my heart(and my only reason for staying alive was that I could work on myself and overcome it) is something I can’t ever change. To put it blankly: I was born wrong, and nothing can ever change that. Like all bad that bee happened to me was because of me and not just being unlucky or the bad people’s fault (I don’t mean that autistic people are born wrong, I’m just trying to show how it felt hearing that). Now I know that it was not all true now, cause I have grown and worked on myself. I had traumas and anxiety that really was the thing that was “wrong” with me. It’s just that I still can’t shake the feeling from back then, and since I’m still not out of my depression even with medication and therapy, I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever be okay and that maybe I truly am wrong inside. With all the ways “normal” people insult autistic people, both really offensive and hateful ways and the ones who mean it well but still makes us feel less than and like children or more primitive, or even just the thing with calling it a disorder! I have never been able to fully accept my diagnosis because I associate it with so much shame, and I know a lot of people will treat me differently if they knew. Am I the only one who feels this way? How do you guys stay strong when it feels like half the world see us as some kind of evolutionary mistake that needs to be aborted or cured and don’t vaccinate their kids and now with sia making this video. While a whole lot other people, including maybe family, treats us like we are some tragic charity case or like a dog that’s survived cancer or calling us special or superheroes trying to sound like they want what we have or putting us on a pedestal in a misunderstood try to make themselves and us feel ok about it, while actually just still making us into something different and far away from their “normal” right world. I feel like my rights as a “sane and normal” person gets taken from me if people know my diagnosis. I have been raised with this mindset and everyone around me has this mindset, and I hate myself for keep falling in it myself and for being ashamed for the diagnosis and hiding it, because that is just shitting on all other autistic people! I don’t know what to do with myself, and I get constantly triggered whenever I se or hear of just the word autism.

Am I the only one who feels this way? 

No. Many people have internalised ableism. But ultimately, internalised ableism causes pain to the person experiencing it as well as potentially being damaging to the rest of that person’s community. So I’d encourage anyone experiencing it to make effort to learn, and find some pride in who you are and in the community you belong to.

How do you guys stay strong when it feels like half the world see us as some kind of evolutionary mistake that needs to be aborted or cured and don’t vaccinate their kids and now with sia making this video. 

Quite simply, because they’re wrong. It can be upsetting, frustrating, infuriating... but they are wrong. 

Pride is an act of defiance. When people express autistic pride, they’re saying: We exist, we deserve to exist, and we refuse to let non-autistic people make us feel otherwise.

It also allows us to educate people and to change things. Obviously the world still isn’t the most friendly place for autistic people to exist in, but things are getting better. More organisations are beginning to listen to us and use our preferred language, and to speak about us in more respectful terms. If we cow to the people telling us that we’re defective, we don’t have the courage to stand up for ourselves, then nothing changes. 

Ableism is a form of discrimination, and like any discrimination it needs to be challenged. We are also protected from discrimination, so if people are treating you poorly or differently, you can tell them that that’s not okay, and put in a formal complaint if necessary/possible.

[charming-2d-boys]

Adultrio with an autistic partner? :3

Hey and thank you for the request!

I personally don't know anyone who has autism and I'm basing this on things that I've read and that my mom told me about a friend's son who is autistic. If there's anything wrong/offensive or that could help educate me better for future reference and just general knowledge (good resources like online books or sites, for example), please let me know.

I've included one thing that this person's son has done that I've been told about in each character's headcanons, just so you know. Maybe it's going to help others understand autism a bit better, at least I hope so.

Also, none of them would treat you any differently because you're wonderful just the way you are and they love you all the same! It's just something that makes you you! ❤️

I hope you enjoy this! 🙇

Chrollo

so, Chrollo would actually read quite a lot about autism, because: 1. He likes reading and 2. He cares about you

he'd always speak gently and calmly to you and try to keep you close to him, especially when you're outside and if he knows that loud noises and crowds may bother you and seem like too much

Chrollo always leaves your things alone and where you put them because he's seen how upset you were when someone sat in your usual seat on the bus when you went on a date and he had to ask the person to move so you could sit down peacefully (thankfully, he didn't have to try intimidating them or anything more drastic, this time at least)

if you're ever upset about something and he wants to comfort you, he always, and I mean always asks if he can touch you or come closer to you and depending on your answer, he'll do exactly as you say to help you feel better

even if you don't want him to hug or even come close to you, Chrollo's always willing to talk to you to better understand what caused you to feel this way and help you better

he will always make time to go to therapy with you no matter what and always wants what's best for you and your well-being

will always admire your memory, especially after seeing you gather several things that he's stolen and laid out to examine them (only telling you to be careful and not hurt yourself), only to see you come back after quite a few minutes and putting them exactly where they had been

Chrollo and the Troupe always take care of you and learn on the way and with your help and explanations on how to better help you

and may God have mercy on whoever says or does anything bad to you because, simply put, they're fucked, with Chrollo always dealing the finishing blow

he always brings you presents and always looks for the best doctors, therapists and medicine if you ever need any

hell, Chrollo would probably even steal the moon for you (he'd try, at least)

Hisoka

Hisoka would be a bit weird because he's never had to confront with something like this before

but that's only in the beginning

our colourful magician will definitely read about autism and ask you about it, particularly after you got upset because someone insulted you that day and you refused to let him touch you

so he just sat somewhere farther away from you and played with his cards while talking with you in a much quieter voice than usual (that's reserved just for you) about whatever you wanted

also, he killed that person when he asked you what they looked like and you told him everything you could remember

just like Chrollo and even Illumi, he'll do his best to take care of you and your needs, whether you need something in particular or just another doctor's opinion on a new treatment

he's using Bungee Gum to keep you close by, even if you don't feel it, after you left the house one day and came back several hours later without Hisoka knowing where you were (he panicked, even more, when he saw that you left your phone on the couch)

but he literally felt like a weight was off his shoulders when he saw you unharmed, saying that you were bored since he left on some business in town

one of the few times when he hugged you and it was so quick and surprising you couldn't even complain

calmly told you that next time, call him, no matter what, because he'll answer anytime you call

Hisoka never gets angry when it comes to you, no matter how infuriating it might be for other people who are just too narrow-minded to understand that it's not your fault

it's part of you and he cares about you as a whole

also, fuck those people, he'll be right back he says as he kisses your forehead and draws out a few cards

Illumi

again, another weird one in the beginning, but it's Illumi, what did you expect?

always asks you if he ever wants to understand better what autism means and what it entails, especially in your case, because you know yourself best

will definitely look for the best doctors and therapists in the world for you

no one is allowed to say anything negative to you about your autism (or anything, for that matter), not even his family, mostly because they respect you and they know that you're strong enough because you are yourself and not only accepted that, but made Illumi fall for you too

you'll always have whatever you want and need, no matter what and no matter what the price is

always asks you how you're feeling, no matter what time of the day it is or even if you're not together at that moment and you're on the phone

since he is pretty honest and doesn't really joke around, you can rest assured that you'll always know what Illumi says without fearing that you misunderstood something

I have a feeling that you'll, at one point, meet Alluka and get along with her the best, even with the risk of Nanika coming out to play

but, surprisingly, she'll always treat you nicely and never ask for much if you ever wish for something

Illumi is slightly paranoid that something might happen to you, but you know that there's nothing to worry about

because of this, Killua will most probably also like you a lot and become your friend, which would mean you hanging out with him, Illumi and Gon, maybe even Kurapika and Leorio sometimes

may ask, also maybe prompted by Killua, subtly, to ask Leorio about advice and whatnot if he ever feels as if he needs to know more

you just need to know that you'll always have Illumi

and everyone else who managed to see what an amazing person you are and become your friends, by your side, supporting and loving you

and also that no one will ever mess with you unless they want to deal with that large amount of bloodlust

[thistangledbrain]

Deliberately lumping 17 & 18 together this time, because 17 isn’t that big of an entry.

Day 17 - “Accommodations”

So from a *personal* standpoint, I need few or no accommodations, as I’ve learned to make my own & have my own coping skills - when you spend most of your life not even knowing you’re autistic, you’re less likely to ask for something to help you with “your weird hangups”.

But younger auties often DO need accommodations- like being allowed to wear headphones/muffs in school, having a quieter testing environment, smaller classes, and so on. And obviously, the more you struggle with certain aspects (like loud noises or crowds), the more accommodations you’ll need.

I admit I don’t have much experience with the kids who truly need the total SPED environments. *Most* (definitely not all) kids I’ve known have all been capable to a degree of adapting to a NT environment. It’s *exhausting*, but possible *most of the time*. So since I’m a child of “suck it UP!”, I’m unfamiliar with this outside of simple accommodations I asked for, for my youngest, when he was in his earlier HS years - like headphones being allowed, and letting him keep his cell phone on him so he could quietly text with me if he was having a rough day & we could walk through it together. As he’s progressed through high school, he’s needed these accommodations less and less. I’ve noticed as my boys have edged through puberty, they leave more and more of their younger struggles behind them.

Your results may vary, of course.

———————————————

Day 18 - “Someday”

Hm. Boy, that’s ambiguous. Maybe I’ll take this one on from a couple different angles.

Someday I hope NTs understand autism better. Someday I hope each autistic person can be judged on their OWN PERSONAL strengths and weaknesses, like NTs are, instead of lumping us all together and deciding we can or can’t do something, based on the fact we’re autistic. For example, I know *plenty* of autistic musicians who play in bands ranging from death metal & punk rock, to smooth jazz. “But I thought autistic people couldn’t handle loud sounds!!”, you exclaim. Yeah, and some of us can. Also, not all loud sounds are created equal. Or sounds in general. A good example for me is, I occasionally jump and let out a little scream when the toast pops up 🙄, but I don’t flinch at the sound of gunfire - because I love to target shoot (I do not hunt), and it’s something I’m really good at, so I enjoy it thoroughly. (I’m not going to get started on America’s gun violence problem because it enrages me. I can rant about that allllll day & already deleted two paragraphs doing just that. This was just a convenient example.)

I’ve been thinking about this a LOT lately, actually. We have our own hurdles, without NTs adding to them, anyway. But I think about “what if I knew I was autistic, before I joined the Marines? Would I still have been as determined?” YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT...BUT I would have hit a brick wall, because they wouldn’t have let me (if I was honest about it, anyway - I’m telling you right now, if every applicant was 100% honest about their background, almost NO ONE would be accepted). So what happened? Well - I was a damned good Marine, that’s what happened - because I didn’t let *anybody* tell me I couldn’t do something. And as I mentioned before...for certain types of auties, the military is actually a pretty fucking brilliant, comfortable environment that we literally thrive in. Again - we are all different. So this “someday” one is BIG for me. Someday I hope we are judged individually on our merits, someday I hope we are looked at through the lens of what we CAN do, versus what *someone else* thinks we cannot do. I have YET to meet an Autie who doesn’t go “OH YEAH?!” when we’re told we “can’t” do something because of our autism. (We might not always succeed, granted, but we really hate being told we “can’t” do something, based on what YOU think we can and cannot do.)

Someday I hope autism is actually celebrated, instead of thinking it’s some sort of scourge. I hope to see that happen in my lifetime.

Someday I also hope that people (the doctors and psych folks and whatever) realize there’s actually a *considerable* difference between male and female autistics - which is why females are so often diagnosed late in life, because we “don’t fit the profile”. I also hope they realize that some females are more like males, and some males more like females, as far as the expression of our ASD. In other words - back to HOW ABOUT YOU EVALUATE US INDIVIDUALLY, FFS. I hear all this shit about how “autism is a spectrum”, and it just seems like lip service - if you KNOW it’s a spectrum, then why are you still trying to pigeonhole us into the DSM-5 definition or whatever, and operating inside generic parameters?? Auties are the most complex human beings you will ever meet in your life - and I stand FIRMLY by that - so your attempts to shoehorn us into your basic understanding of it is frustrating as FUCK. Infuriating, even. No wonder we fight you so bad when you try it. How would YOU like it if we decided that every middle class blonde woman is a “Karen”, and treated you as such? Or if we decided everyone with brown eyes are slow and we should treat all of you brown eyed people the same, like infants? You’d be like, “what the FUCK?” Yeah. It’s a lot like that.

Someday, I hope more therapists understand the autistic brain better, so they can be more helpful. Sometimes the same advice you’d give a NT patient struggling with an issue (let’s say, the death of a loved one or executive function) just won’t ...WORK...for an Autie. As it stands now, most therapists I’ve known go straight to ABA, and that gets frustrating when you just need to let it all out so you can re-center and actually have a discussion. Speaking of ABA, someday I hope teachers and doctors and therapists understand the resentment and feelings of being “wrong” or “bad” that result from ABA. SOME of it is necessary I think, but mostly, all it does is teach repression & lets us know loud and clear that the way we are is “wrong”. I desperately hope ABA is reevaluated - with the input from ACTUAL AUTISTICS. Using ABA for to overcome a problem like, say, potty training or something, is often seriously necessary. But potty training isn’t part of *who we are*, if that makes sense. Most ABA is basically like putting your Autie kid in a dog training bootcamp, with little to no thought about “what makes that kid tick”. It’s all about training you to act in a way that NTs find acceptable (and I have lots and lots of cuss words about that........) I don’t even train DOGS like some schools or therapists train auties. Dogs aren’t beings to dominate, control, and condition to act in ways I find pleasing (but I’m also not a “general trainer”...I’m on the behavior side of things). They’re sentient beings who deserve to have their personalities discovered, their traumas and their hangups, and THEN we work inside THAT dog’s parameters until we’re solid...*then* we start working on pushing them outside of comfort zones and such. AFTER that trust and understanding has been laid down as a solid foundation, for *that specific dog*, regardless of my experience with past dogs (though I do rely heavily on past experiences of course; knowledge of what did and didn’t work with some other dog similar to the one I have now - that sort of thing - but every dog is a whole new being to me...because, well, they actually *are*). Nothing is “cookie cutter”. Every dog is a brand new exploration. I understand that’s putting a lot of pressure on SPED teachers. I understand they’re baffled when I tell them ABA sucks as a because they see “positive results”. Sure - you see positive results in your ability to repress that child. Positive results in the fact that they’ve now learned to hide themselves from you and others. It seems the current ABA methods don’t necessarily teach any sort of useful skills for actually adapting to the flow of the NT world for that kid - just how to repress who they are, so they fit in. In other words - ABA is successful for the NT world - not us. It actually depresses the shit out of me to think about how teachers and counselors view the rocking and flapping kid they’ve now trained to sit quietly in class feels like their work is successful. You didn’t help that kid - you BROKE them, you broke their spirit, you broke who they are. That makes me so angry. Same when these so called “star trainers” can force or intimidate any dog to performative good behavior. Same as the difference between how native Americans train their horses versus how Anglo Saxons or others did/do. In the native culture, we call it “gentling”. In AS culture *it is LITERALLY called “breaking”*. I’m not kidding - look it up.)

As for my personal “someday”....

Someday I’ll write a book about my adventures & struggles in life and what it was like inside my brain through each one. It’s not that I think I’m anything special, but I’ve been asked to do this, and the reasons were pretty logical. And I do love to write, usually. Or maybe it’ll be a book about how my autism is a HUGE advantage in “my line of work” (the dog thing...being sort of more of a dog/human “guidance counselor” than a trainer - since I hear your voice and feelings, and I also hear your dog’s, I’m less of a trainer and more of a bridge between the two. An interpreter, but also almost like a marriage counselor too LOL). I think that’s my biggest “someday” and the only one worth mentioning, because it’s such a huge goal...most of my other personal “someday” stuff, I eventually kinda go “well fucking why not TODAY, bish?!” and I just...DO it.

But generally, someday I hope it’s understood that no two autistic people are alike - but we share enough commonality that it’s possible to understand we’re basically in a different category of people from “normal”. Someday I hope NTs in general drop their stereotypes and get to know us one on one. Someday I hope people realize and understand that even nonverbals are whole ass human beings, with thoughts and dreams and opinions and a whole complex personality that you missed, because you were too busy judging the fact they can’t speak like you do.

Someday I hope you realize we *enhance* the human experience, we don’t detract from it. Someday I hope you realize we are not BROKEN, we are just different. Someday I wish you’ll stop being so smug and stuck up in your “normally functioning brain”, and stop PITYING us. For fucking what??? Experiencing life in a much more complex and deep way?? Bruh. We pity YOU, too. Your world perception often seems dull and wasteful. Limited. OPEN UP - there’s a whole universe out there that you haven’t even explored. So, someday I hope we can enhance each other’s human experience, like my friends and I do. I’d love to see that on a larger scale.

Someday.

[misrihalek]

This is for one person in particular. Well, maybe two people. 

...I wasn’t good for you, was I? 

You found me at a pretty low point of my life, I’ve said that before. I was trying to do what the world told me, trying to be a good little boy, get that job, earn my place in the world and...I failed. I was lying on a bed in a house in the suburbs, flatmates fighting in the ungodly hours of the morning, desperately trying to escape from the world. That was how you found me and for some reason you saw something worth a damn. 

And then I proceeded to bleed you dry. I didn’t know how to get myself out of my hole and so I just started dragging you down with me, using you as just another means of escape and demanding so much of you...far too much. How many times did you lament that your love wasn’t enough to help me stand on my own two feet? How many times did you think that you were inferior because of it? Did I make you hate yourself because of my failures? 

That’s not to say that it was all bad: we wouldn’t have lasted as long as we did if we didn’t click on some level, after all. The talks we had, the things we shared between us...it would be disrespectful to say that they meant nothing: maybe their value to us makes this whole thing worse in retrospect, who knows. What I do know is that, even if only ashes remain now, you were the best friend I ever had: you were kind, funny and passionate and your presence in this world stood in defiance of the forces that sought to bring you low. You fought for your right to exist, so maybe it makes sense that you waited for so long for me to do the same. I’m sorry I let you down. 

That’s the crux of the matter, isn’t it: why didn’t I leave that hole that I found myself in? I can blame outside forces (and I often did), but the fact of the matter is that I just didn’t know how. I didn’t know how to be the person that the world demanded of me and no-one seemed to be able to tell me, so somewhere along the way I just grew comfortable in that wretched hole, at home in my misery. I started pantomiming my own life, living as if death would never come and not really living in the process, and it was this awful piece of theatre that you ended up being an unwilling part of: despairing about the future that I couldn’t see and slowly wearing yourself away. I imagine the tipping point came after those three weeks together ended and you saw how little things had changed. 

Those three weeks...before long it will have been two years since that trip to see you and it’s...weird to think about. I know that time has lost a bit of its meaning since then, but even then it’s hard to believe that it was really that long ago. I still remember the elevator up to your apartment, walking to the tramlines and going to that one tea shop - and you bet your ass I remember that hike uphill to the castle. The emotions have faded over time, but I have no qualms in saying that those were quite literally the best days of my life: I know that the word “literally” has kinda lost its meaning in this day and age, but I can confidently say that no experience before or since has compared. So why didn’t it change anything? Why did I go right back into my hole when I got back? 

I don’t think either of us knew at the time, but come a few months later it didn’t matter all that much anyway. You found someone else and left and, now that I look back, I really can’t blame you for trying to find a less bleak fate than what was in store for you. I remember you saying to me how scared you were of a future where you had to support the both of us: why wouldn’t you be? I had demonstrated no ability to be a functioning human being and I would have inevitably become a burden...well, more of a burden. What kind of future is that, for either of us? And so you left to find a brighter one. 

It was ugly and painful and I have no doubt that it still hurts you, just like it does me. For a decent amount of time I was blinded by my own pain and I said things that I can no longer stand by in good conscience: I blamed you for how things had gone and eventually cut you out of my life so I could best deal with my wrenching sorrow. To some degree that action has proved successful: being able to live without having reminders of my failures at the forefront of my mind has let me claw back pieces of myself and move forward with my life, even if it has taken some time. I cannot however defend the reasons why I did it though, born as they were from an inability to reflect on my own deficiencies. 

It turns out that there might’ve been a reason for that inability, actually. You remember me talking about my Asperger’s Syndrome diagnosis? It was something that I got told about as I was growing up and it was basically conveyed to me as a low-strength form of autism, something fairly surmountable in comparison to the more traditional forms. Last year though, I found media that suggested that Asperger’s Syndrome was a less-than-credible condition from a doctor that quite literally collaborated with Nazis and further research revealed that the term was no longer in official use. I talked to my mother about this and she casually dropped into conversation that I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. 

ADHD! So many goddamn things clicked into place once she said that and I imagine that the same might be happening for you right now. No wonder I had so much difficulty functioning in that job, how infuriating it was to focus on things, how I would sally forth into different trains of thought mid-conversation. My mother’s general mistrust of the medical system also meant that I’d been dealing with these things all my life without any sort of medication, the usual way that other people with ADHD make themselves co-operate with the strictures of society. No wonder things went to fucking pieces the moment I stepped into the real world. 

I’ve had to do some serious thinking since then, not least of all about my future. I tried to keep on the jobsearching grind for a while after that bombshell dropped, but after months of no luck I snapped and decided to take an alternate route, one that I couldn’t consider while we were together. Since then I’ve moved away from home and I’m studying to maybe one day be a social worker: to one day have the tools to help people like me, people stuck in their own holes and unable to get out without the helping hand of someone who understands what they’re going though. No doubt you’d say that you’re happy for me and I don’t doubt that statement: you’re a better person that I was and even through all this you’ve wished no ill towards me. You’re a good person like that. 

These days I’m doing decently okay: I’m living with 3 flatmates who I get along with pretty well and my studies are progressing as they should. I’m trying to write a bit more as well, although about the only thing I’ve done lately of any tangibility has been...well, this. Even with the progress I’ve made, what happened between us still bobs to the surface from time to time and I have to process things all over again: it gets easier as time marches onwards, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy. That probably explains why I reacted so violently to the message you sent me, among other things. 

What I said there was true: I can’t face you while things are the way they are. I’m not strong enough to watch you be happy with someone else, because it’s a reminder that I can no longer elicit that same joy from you: a reminder that our time has passed because of my failures. It’s knowledge that hollows me out from the inside. I tried to be strong - tried to ignore that hollowing out and remain friends - and failed over and over, coming close enough to nothingness to feel it encroaching on my soul, so now I put up my walls to protect it.

I need to be okay. And I can’t do that with you around. It’s an awful thing to say and you don’t deserve it, but it’s the truth. Once more you suffer for my deficiencies as a human being. 

I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the person that you needed: I guess the deck was kinda stacked against us from the beginning, considering what I didn’t know about myself and, y’know, the whole long-distance thing, so don’t go thinking that any of this was your fault. You remain one of the best people I have ever met and I am eternally grateful for the time we shared together: do not doubt that you are worthy of love, even in your lowest moments. You’re a damn good human being and you deserve to have good things happen to you, better things than me. 

I imagine you’re expecting me to say this, but oh well: I’d prefer it if you don’t send me a response to what I have written here. Beyond just safeguarding my own wellbeing, I’ve been meaning to write this for a long time now and what you see is pretty much every single thing that I can conceivably say in regards to all that has transpired between us. I don’t really have anything else to say and after this I will hopefully not think about this so much anymore and get on with my life. I would implore you to do the same. 

I wish you all the best. 

...

...there’s a small piece of me that doubles back on what I’ve written here, seeing if it can instill its will within the paragraphs wherein it can wend its way to you. It’s the piece of me that still loves you, that holds out hope that I may one day see you again and that we can rediscover what was lost. It tells me to leave my heart open to the opportunity, to hope against hope that things change. This last paragraph is my concession to it in the vain hope that it’ll finally fucking shut up.

[velvetv0nblack]

An open letter;

(Possible trigger warning)

I’m not even sure why I’m writing this, maybe because this theme of abuse has be something I’ve been experiencing as a third party, the person removing the victim this time, you know the role many of my friends filled within our tumultuous relationship... maybe it’s because my friends abuser is now threatening and harassing me for helpingher leave... maybe it’s because I’ve finally found my therapeutic dosage of lithium, am in a clear mind and are therefore able to reflect properly for the first time in my life... or maybe it’s because this is not an apology, I mean maybe it is if you had only been a serial cheat, but the truth is you fractured my skull and cut me open with a knife, so this is not a fucking apology. Also I’d rather rip my own eyes out of my skull, smash them with a hammer, and then inject the liquid into my ass than actually engage you in any kind of conversation, so knowing that this is the one platform you can still check for me on, I’m going to post this here... Its about time I had my say without putting myself in physical danger.

You would think I wouldn’t have an essay to correct your 3 lines of a nothing apology, but here we are I guess.

This kind of self deprecating “I wasn’t good enough for you” narrative is truly infuriating, and not because you were actually good enough for me but because of the very reasons you proved yourself not be “not good enough”. You weren’t undeserving of me because you didn’t work, I am physically incapable of doing so myself and I didn’t fall in love with you because you came across mad motivated. You weren’t undeserving of me because you took drugs, drank like a fish or smoked like a chimney, we were both purposefully killing our selves in the same way. You weren’t undeserving of me at all, until you fucked my best friend in the bathroom and collectively gaslit me into wondering if I was imagining the whole thing, and slowly but systematically broke down my confidence and support network away from me. I want this to be very clear; the reason you do not deserve me or any other decent human being is because, you are an abuser, you abuse people.

I was barely a whole person when I met you. I was barely an adult. I had lived through so much already, and had been abused in every area of my existence. I was easy pickings to you. The issue was you were not a pawn to me, a player in any game, or any of that. To me you were this fascinating, beautiful soul, to me you were someone who needed my love who needed someone to support you and I couldn’t believe that you chose me to fill that role. I was freshly 18 that month, and I had just had a flat mate steal £3k and kill my kitten.

I weighed all of 63lbs that night you lost the plot on me because I didn’t want to go to Big Red to watch that actual cunt of a waitress smile at me as she gave you lap dances, it’s not even a dance joint it was a fucking bar. You allowed other people to emotionally abuse me with you for months up until this point and I just didn’t want to go, all I wanted was the keys and I would of gone home alone and gone to bed. Why you feel the need to publicly humiliate me again instead of just leaving it? You couldn’t just go be adulterous without me watching and hurting, so you followed me home, screaming at me the whole time. You told me I was pathetic, you hated me, I should just kill myself- on a bus on a Saturday night, from the bar I worked in, in soho, back to our place near Caledonian Road. I was so unstable anyway, undiagnosed autism, misdiagnosed mental health issues, on the wrong if any medication, deep within the throws of an addiction and eating disorder... you. I couldn’t take you verbally ripping my heart out anymore when I decided that throwing myself from our 3rd story window would hurt less. The fact I could of died isn’t what made you grab me and stop me jumping, no in fact you told me you don’t care if I kill my self as long as it’s not in the flat, you were much more concerned with the amount of drugs in the flat and the prison opposite our window. At that point you threw me full pelt across the other side of the room, all 63lbs of me flew through the air like a paper aeroplane and smashed directly into your guitar. You know your beloved custom Les Paul? The headstock came off, and at that very moment despite the fact you were the one who threw me, my life was the one in danger. You started strangling me and threatening to have men come down to London to gang rape my then 14 year old sister. It gets a little fuzzy, that’s what your brain does when you experience potentially life ending trauma. I do know I ended up with stitches in my lips and hands, that you fractured my right eye socket- that I still suffer issues with to this day- and had black bruising covering my entire body like a bus had hit me.

For a couple of years there my brain completely blocked out important details of that night, and a lot of our relationship. Don’t worry though periodically I have the real type of flashback where I relive these events and I come back to reality remembering more than I ever wanted to. I’m yet to even touch on the fact that whilst I may of been able to escape you in waking life, my dreams are perpetually stuck in this horrific PTSD dream land, a town that is a mash up of all the places I’ve been traumatised in my life, the place you eternally reside inside my head to traumatise me whilst I desperately need to rest. You haven’t really left my life despite the efforts I have made to avoid you (I think I’ve seen you once, from a distance once at Download 2 years ago, my heart fell out my ass, and I dragged Camilla in another direction) I have only 2 dreams in 6 years that haven’t included you chasing me down to finish what you started and kill me or keep me captive. But that’s what trauma does, and oh how you traumatised me.

I really loved you though, that’s why I stayed, and those couple times I tried to leave before I came back. I loved you so unconditionally that it took me realising that everyone else around us was so complicit that they’d help you hide by body. To this very day I cannot believe a man, a male roommate, walked in on you pinning me into a sofa by my neck, with both your planted knees on top of my chest, full weight suffocating me, biting the end of my nose until it was blackened and he had the audacity me I needed to calm down. I have to label the guy the world biggest pussy in my head so I don’t get wound up about it.

I wasn’t perfect, I can never be perfect, I have more imperfections than most. I am severely mentally and physically unwell- I sure as hell am a pain in the ass to love- however I cannot actually think of a damn thing I did to deserve constant unending emotional abuse, threatens and follow through of physical abuse and then after I left stalking and harassment. I am difficult but I am not deserving of abuse and that’s all you gave me in the end... unless of course you “needed your baby girl to suck your dick” - that was the only time you were ever nice to me, and I know because I recently read back a bunch of our texts and you flipped between “I hate you, I’m gonna kill you/kill your self” to “I need my beautiful girl to come and suck my dick I love you so much” is actually fucking insane. - Should I bring up the fact you would bang pathetic girls on the scene and then dicknotise them into stalking and harassing me with you? Because... what I had the audacity to leave a man, of over 6ft tall, who would become violent to my 5ft 63lbs self?

So yeah, you didn’t deserve me, but not because of any self deprecating attention seeking reason but because you’re a sociopath, who seems to take pleasure in fucking with vulnerable women.

Am I happy? Now that’s a fucking difficult one to answer.

I ended up homeless on and off for a year. Despite the homelessness I had suffered before this was worse because of the place I was in mentally.

You caused me to develop complex PTSD.

You caused me to have a 3 year long psychotic break.

You caused me to live in secure supported housing, where I was prayed upon by other residents.

You caused me to fall victim to abuse within the system

Not sure if you know this but our mental health services sucks ass, after leaving you I had a delightful therapist that would text me telling to kill my self and would tell me you were right to abuse me.

But I got one thing from our relationship, I fine tuned my “four Fs” ...I no longer freeze or fight in the face of difficulty... I developed an ability to fawn.

Dead ends are no longer in my eyeline, I will metaphorically straight on walk through someone else’s house to get where I need to be, I will jump the fence, break the locks and out run any guard dog. I may fall down but I’m never out.

When I was diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses and essentially lived in hospital for 3 years, even when I thought to end my life it was weighed out by the thought of “how do I get to a place we’re I can do even 5% of what I want? What do I have to change, manifest?”.

You see if you could only temporarily break me but not stop me then why the hell would I let my own mind and body do that? That ability to fawn came with an ability to find a middle path, to be diplomatic. That ability to fawn gave me the patience to understand medical text and use that to access the right care. ~ I am actually thinking of starting a medical degree just to prove I can ~ I am now 98lbs and healthy for my size and stature, I now have a home with a housing association who like me so much they have me a lifetime partner agreement, meaning I will never be homeless again. I have been clean 7 whole goddamn years and 2 months. I have the most beautiful empathic cat, 2 foster dogs and an incredibly patient partner, who has known me before you had ever entered my life. I am as healthy as someone in my position can be, I still struggle with the anorexic thoughts but I eat everyday of the fucking week now.

I am not “happy” as happy is an emotion and emotions are fleeting but I am content in living for the simple life I have fought ever so hard for. I am strong, and determined and constantly fucking working on making more for myself. I’m proud of myself.

All I have to say is get therapy. If you’re really sorry work on yourself enough to be able to apologise properly before you fuck my day up by rising your head again for this weakness. I can’t say I don’t have morbid curiosity, because that’s me all over, however I’m much more determined to keep all that I have work for mentally, emotionally, and physically safe. For that reason I would never in my right medicated mind talk it out with you, email you back or seek you out. I’m sorry, it is what it is.

You can not damage someone irreparably both mentally and physically and think “I’m sorry for being a cunt” even close to cuts it. You are mentally unbalanced, in a way not even I can relate to.

[kagamin3ko]

important rant

so its a ranting about differents topics

I saw a lot of people talking about how communism is awful and harmful (like for example a friend back when i was hospitalized at the clinic castelviel) and a lot of people on internet they often refers to what they heard of stalinism but im referring about the ideology of Marxism and Leninism

What is harmful is the huge gap between richs and poors and it leads to that, i like the ideology of communism, after if it can works in practice its another subject (very controversial and i may not be the best to talk about that matter)

Like in France they continue lowering the aids for poors and cutting the helps (like for example in health for the handiccaped, the family of autistic people/autistics people that directly touches my family or even less and less medicaments are being reumbursed by the security social) and increasing the aids for richs (like they werent enough full of money and needed more) and higher the taxes for the poors and lower those of the richs (lowering the weath tax) ((like my dad says: stealing from the poors to give to the richs: reverse peter pan))

Seeing all these people in misery like in Toulouse and even in smaller city there more and more! That’s heartbreaking, infuriating and unfair ! 

and there you have people who say bullbull like “those people doesnt even work they searched it its their fault they are without home if they would work they wouldnt be there”, well you know what? I wish you to be in their misery starving in the cold or heat, maybe you wouldnt be spitting hateful bullshit like that.”they profit allowance so they have money without working they are lazy” they wouldnt be in that misery if that was true you dumbdumb. And you know i even heard worse! 

Inform yourself before repeating dumbly what you saw in the media or heard, don’t slallow it like that, you think the medias are objective? they are controlled by your government and your ruler, have some critical mind! cross the informations check the sources cross the sources and proof! Inform yourself before repeating, you’re making it worse by repeating and it’s influencing the mass, the collective consciousness, you may not realize it but its harmful! there are so much people like that and it really shows sadly!

And another things like “immigrants steal our jobs!” (and some even say “they also steal “our women” and they are dangerous and harmful” how dumb can you be? and how full of hate and bullshit can you be?? the persons on top are suppressing your jobs your allowances and making profits from it making tax frauds stealing money from the state without being punished by the law thanks to their power and wealth and you blame those who are in the misery, but its what they want you to believe and its sadly working!

Also islamophobia bullshit that paints muslims like savage murderer and the evil, no! the murderers and evil is not there, looks better who is full of hatred and evil.

And “the demonstrator are violents and dangerous” we saw people manifasting pacifically being beaten up by forces of law and CRS and its not from today at all, and there are videos so you can’t say its not real, these are facts. like some example from my country Gaspard Glanz made a middle finger to the CRS and got beaten up and arrested while (when its the crs who make middle finger its ok). someone who got a tear gas canister in his backpack were seriously harmed and im not spilling false fact you can check these again inform yourself  (its in french)

https://www.lexpress.fr/actualite/societe/paris-un-manifestant-grievement-blesse-par-une-grenade-lacrymogene_1802420.html

https://www.facebook.com/LEDOUAISIEN/videos/quand-gaspardglanz-fait-un-doigt-dhonneur-%C3%A0-un-policier-cest-un-outragemais-quan/537176063473076/

and there is sadly so much other incidents

my dad told me about some arms of the CRS and its shocking

 https://www.lemonde.fr/les-decodeurs/article/2019/01/31/de-quelles-armes-sont-equipees-les-forces-de-l-ordre-en-manifestation_5417097_4355770.html

->edit:

 what infuriate me too and i mention it a little above is how rich people with power or just rich people cant get away with anything, like tax frauding, rape, pedophilia,crime in general (and i have a personal example in my own family its awful my little sister got raped 2 years ago and the jerk took advantage of her disabilities and autism aka her not being conscious of the danger and being easily manipulated which make the crime even worse, well you know what because that old disgusting jerk was rich and my parents exhausted worned out overwhelmed by the events couldnt even come at the end of the legal procedure he got away with nothing some precisions my sister were 17 at the time and he was more than 60 and he lives near my family home, imagine how stressful it can be for my parents to know the rapist is that near while my sister is always wondering around without considering the dangers, and my parents even are feeling guilty imagine all the damages and how traumatizing, my rant here is about the unfairness of the law and the corruption that leads to disgusting people getting away with nothing thanks to their wealth and power and there is so many awful cases like that talking about that one because it directly concern my sister and us her family

sorry if i made typos or grammar mistakes i wrote while i almost didnt slept that night and my treatments even got increased so it heavy on me im really tired i dont even know how i typed all that what my brain is slow because of the med

but it feels great to talk about these important matters it needs to be done even if with my small blog it will unfortunately go unnoticed

and there is more that infuriate me but im too stoned to continue for now maybe i will do this kind of rant about the functionment of psychiatry, of public hospitals the way they treat patients (especially for the eating disorder since its the motive of all my hospitalisation since 2012/2013) and also the matter of the lack of help for families with autistic children/autistic people 

you can reblog if you noticed these things too and are infuriatting by them too

[spif-lol]

An Ode to Gender Noncomformity

I wrote a poem sort of thing about my feelings around gender. It is very long and very open so um, soz 

I don’t know how early I felt uncomfortable about being a girl.

 From my earliest memory, my closest friends were boys. I played with lego, with nerf, with my brother and his friends. But I also played with barbies, with dress ups, with other girls. I wasn’t one of the boys, I liked ‘girly’ things.

But I’m thankful to my parents for raising my brother and I gender neutral. We both learnt to cook, to clean. We weren’t steered away from toys for the other gender. That stuff’s probably a big part of who I am today.

When I was 9 years old I got my hair cut short. 

There’s photo evidence too, of a little boy holding his newborn baby brother, wearing simpsons pyjamas. 

Except that boy is me. It’s because I read a book in which there was a girl called Georgina who cut her hair short and asked everyone to call her George. This spoke to me so strongly that I knew I had to do the same. 

My mum humoured me. I wore hand me downs from my male cousins. Someone yelled ‘boy-girl’ at me across the playground in the same way people yell slurs. I didn’t know then. I was just annoyed that I stood out like that. 

If I had had those experiences in today’s climate, would I be considered transgender? Would my mum have allowed me to cut my hair? 

Eventually I decided I liked my long hair, annoying as it can be. Many years later I wore dresses by choice, and rejoiced in them. Pants had always given me a sense of power, of security, of comfort. But dresses could do the same, I realised, and be freeing in other ways.

A ‘friend’ once told me he would list all of my worst qualities. He didn’t get past the first one – that I assert my masculinity too much. I was so baffled by this and I questioned him to his meaning. But I understood it. I just couldn’t comprehend why me sitting like a boy, being loud, hanging out with boys, being outspoken, authoritative, blunt (masculine traits?). How could those be flaws of mine? I ponder this sometimes still.

Do I hate my body?

 Is it just my asexuality

That makes me detest the existence of genitalia, 

of sex, 

makes me uncomfortable? 

It’s a factor for sure. I just wish this wasn’t an issue, that gender didn’t exist. That we could just be people and things weren’t so weird. I like the idea that before they left the garden adam and eve weren’t male and female, not really. There would be no need for that anyway. And the bible all but tells us that gender won’t be a thing in heaven – ‘There is neither Jew or Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus’ 

I do not hate my body. I do not hate my hips. 

I do not hate my long hair. Or my breasts. Or my lips. 

But I hate the obsession with gender. I hate the discomfort I have with myself. 

I don’t like feeling less of a girl because I don’t wear makeup, 

Or because I’m a bit of a slob, and I do nothing with my hair 

Or because I don’t get along with girls on more than a surface level most of the time, no matter how hard I try. 

I want to be a girl but I am not, while also being one fully. 

One of my teachers at bible college taught us girls about what being a biblical woman means. I remember my friend’s frozen face, holding in tears, after we were told that women being inferior was a part of God’s very good design for the world, and that that is how God always intended things to be. After this discussion my friend hung back and spent our break poring over the bible and writing examples of God’s love for women on the whiteboard until it was full. I watched, my heart hurting. 

Being a girl is not fun. It’s painful, it’s vulnerable, it’s infuriating. As a Christian it’s even worse, whilst society progresses. I’m lucky I don’t feel called to preaching because I’d never be allowed 

‘Feminine’ traits of mine that would probably be praised as such – compassion, a call to serve, to humility, to being a helper, submitting myself - make me furious because the bible tells us God wants all people to be like that. I am not ‘being a girl’ by having those traits; I am just being human. Is it the world’s misogyny that makes me not feel like a girl? 

Captain Marvel sparks my enthusiasm, but also my gender dysphoria 

I am in awe of Brie Larson, her strength, her confidence, her compassion She speaks so well, but every video I watch is met with comments about her arrogance, 

her bitchiness, 

her wrongness.

And I am angry. 

Because she doesn’t seem like that at all. 

To me. 

And the (male) actors speak just like her 

Are just as cocky 

But they aren’t punished for it 

What’s the difference? 

Just that she is 

A girl 

I feel like her. Like I am being told by the world to know my place. 

But I can’t 

I can’t shut up. 

I can’t back down. 

I don’t have to prove myself. 

I guess I have to make myself comfortable with discomfort. 

I am out of place, in the cracks of society, of what we are told is true, in so many ways. 

I’ve known I’m asexual for years, not straight for sure, but not LGBT enough, gay enough, different enough. I can’t relate fully to either section, or even within the asexual community. 

And I have a lot of mild conditions – anxiety, depression, adhd, autism. I’m not normal, neurotypical, but I don’t struggle the way other neurodivergents struggle

Maybe labels don’t help that way. Maybe being an individual is enough. 

But it also isn’t 

I need to figure out who I am

 I’m a Christian, but God I don’t want to be a Christian. 

I look at Christians and I see hatred and tradition and ungodliness and I am angry 

I look at non-Christians and I see shallowness and selfishness and ungodliness and I am confused 

My God is my own, and yet everyone else’s 

But also nobody’s 

Gender’s like that too I guess 

I’m tempted to say that gender’s not a real thing 

That your body is just your body and your personality is unique, unconnected 

But we are made of our experiences and our gender informs that 

I can’t leave being a girl behind, even on the days when I want to be nonbinary. 

I hang out with my groups of male friends, more comfortable, feeling more like them than in a group of girls. But I am not one of the boys. I am distinct. Myself. They can’t understand what being a girl is like. And I can’t reach into the experience of being a boy. Even though I have a mix of understanding, of gendered things. I had a boyfriend once but mostly I admire girls, girls, girls everywhere. How does anyone ever figure themselves out? 

Does gender dysphoria 

A trans person make? 

 Maybe, maybe not, nevertheless, as ungirllike as I am 

I was born a girl, have seen the struggles of girls and struggled with them 

So nonbinary as I may feel, 

femininity I will claim as my own, weaponize it, rise up and do what I can to help others 

With my femininity 

With my masculinity 

With my humanity 

[le-spaztatron]

Autism awareness month

So if the title didn’t say it clearly enough April is autism awareness month, if ya didn't know don’t worry I didn’t either till today and I’m actually on the spectrum.

Now on to the point, this is a rant, a rant about something that in the past never bugged me but now... now I’m kinda pissed. Using autism as an insult and misrepresenting it. You may ask “well what lead up to this?” maybe it was the people who think autism is worse than polio, or maybe the foundation that shall not be named out of fear they’ll sue me for slander or copyright if I speak against them and compared autism directly to cancer and AIDS. Perhaps though it’s finding out that to “lower autism levels in gaming” they wanna ban kids from playing them online.

Let’s talk about the most recent one to my attention first, removing autism in gaming... this one hits me especially hard not only as a gamer but as someone whom when he was diagnosed with aspergers (the syndrome from the spectrum which I have) was also told that playing video games, which I did extensively, could help me cope with it. For anyone unaware the symptoms are summed up as trouble developing social skills and developing patterns in behavior. Don’t get me wrong there are kids on games that act a bit, well, like assholes but I feel that’s more on the parents who use the new CoD every year as a one time payment electronic babysitter without caring what the kid actually does on it.

Okay, problem number two insults. The thing that pushed me with this one is that people genuinely started buying into them believing autism is worse than anything else on the planet and also a new insult I recently discovered, sperglord. I had to look up sperglord on urban dictionary just to make sure it was what I thought it was, and it was, an slur for people with or whom exhibit behaviors related to asbergers. This was being used copiously by some as an term of endearment to their friends but more prominently to refer to people they blocked on social media and whom they basically deemed as “haters”, I’m not going to go into detail on them for some reasons I wont bring up, all I’ll say is catching flack for pushing back is very possible.

Finally, misrepresentation, why is autism usually comedic relief and almost nothing else? To add to that many characters who are more than that and exhibit signs of it are never explicitly stated to have merely implied to and theorized by fans to have it and don’t get me wrong that’s fine by me it’s better than the alternative it’s just the combination of the two that’s infuriating. I’d just like some more clear and tolerable representation, and I know we’re not the only group with this problem but that makes it worse not better, this a recurring theme in media it seems.

So finally what can you do to help this situation? Well you can encourage people you know to support autism or support friends and family who have it. Also if donating to a charity foundation please look into their past first, there’s basically the PETA of autism floating around out there and of course like any group or community the worst one is the most outspoken. Which brings to the final point of this part, look -past the worst ones, they may be the minority of the community but they also make themselves the most heard, because they genuinely don’t care how they look in the eyes of others which normally would be fine but they’re also assholes who drag others down with them.

Thanks for reading this and if you feel up for it please feel free to like or share it, thanks and have a good day.

Oh and one more thing, can someone please tell me when autism became a synonym to sociopath and psychopath? Cause I can’t find it anywhere, ok bye.

[razzleberryjam]

As someone who has always been drawn to animals that are considered "tempermental," it baffles me how people can be so unaware of an animals body language. Idk maybe it's the autism and the always being friends with cats or rabbits or rats more than people, but its like infuriating to me to see people interact with those animals specifically, because I feel like people have no concern or regard for how the animal is communicating. Like the animal will speak to you LOUD AND CLEAR about how it's feeling as long as you pay attention. With cats, their tails as JUST AS EXPRESSIVE as dogs, they just SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE and it's not that hard to learn ! Like, I know that with dogs I don't know, not to make extended eye contact because that is a challenge, but with dogs who know me it means "come play," whereas with cats you want to keep avoidant eye contact/ lidded relaxed eye contact with slow blinking because you're telling the cat "I see you and I trust you, but im not WATCHING you" and that makes them feel more relaxed and trusted. And then you have rats and rabbits who are prey animals and thus eye contact really means nothing to them. Cats and dogs who are socialized typically don't see being pet from above as threatening, while with animals like rats and rabbits a hand coming to pet from above is "omg a hawk is swooping down on me and I'm about to die"

Its like you would never go to McDonald's and get pissed that they don't have a frosty but you will rub a cats belly, see its ears and tail flicking, and feel it's belly tense with discomfort, why are you getting pissed that he scratched you? He told you to stop and you didn't listen. If you chase a rabbit and swoop down from above to snatch it up without caring about picking it up properly, even after its thumping at you to please go away, you're gonna get scratched up. I think thats the difference between dogs/horses and these animals is you can't really give these animals the type of conditioning you can to dogs and horses. But you can still build good relationships with each of them, you just need to be able to learn multiple languages. Like I wake up and I get on the floor to feed and interact with my rabbit. When I'm tall and big I completely ignore him (unless he comes up to me then I'll get down on the floor with him) because if he feels like I'm watching him or following him he gets nervous. When I go feed my rats I put my hands at their foot level, so they can come to me and I can use my fingers to give them tiny scratches on their cheeks, and they will move themselves to direct where they want me to groom them, I don't chase them with my hands or grab them from above unless they're aware of my hand and know I'm going to pick them up (once they're super used to you and they're like "oh yes this is person time, in person time I am aware that I may be scooped up in a comfortable position and so i am not frightened by this action") and then when I go outside to my cats, I speak they're language. It's just like idk I've thought about this for so long about my pets and I know I've completely hijacked ur post about dogs and horses but yes I agree, I think you have more empathy for animals than all my middle school teachers had for me, and I hope I can say the same for myself 😂

Funny how people think humanity would be able to be respectable in an alien society, when we can't even give our dogs respect for their clearly different body language and social boundaries.

[queenoftheblackpuddlexoxo]

For freebie day, I did little mini fanfics with Shy in the. I put it under a readore because there’s a lot. Enjoy!

Comfortable "You two infuriate me, I hope you know that." Cavendish scowled, looking to either side of him at the two most annoying people he had ever had the chance to know. Vinnie looked up at him from the left side, grinning as he held tight to his partner's arm as if hugging a teddy bear.  "You know you love us." He then turned his attention to Cheyanne. His expression softened from anger to disappointment; even if she bothered him endlessly, he did his best not to get mad at her. He couldn't bear the way that poor woman tensed up when somebody acted the least bit angry. "And what do you have to say for yourself?" Shy yawned, opening one eye. "I'm sorry, but we can't help it! You're just so...comfortable!" With a sigh, Cavendish resigned himself to being a human pillow. Digital "So...what does it do?" A small, breathy voice asked. Green eyes were wide in childlike wonder, and Dakota couldn't help but smile. He always enjoyed seeing Shy's reactions to advanced technology, and even moreso her guesses to what the devices where used for. "Is it a...laser? Oh, a high-tech pen that can write on anything! Uh..." "It's a nose hair trimmer." Courtesy "Brick. Savannah." "Cavendish. Dakota." The four time travelers' greetings were terse and strained as they faced each other, behaving more like they were part of a wild west standoff rather than a chance meeting with coworkers. It was true, to some extent; though the fear of being shot dead was nonexistent, each was waiting for who would draw and shoot first, their snide remarks and passive-aggression serving as a substitute for bullets. At the sidelines stood a young woman, watching and waiting patiently for the two parties to say or do something-anything-and get this all over with. To be certain of one thing, Cheyanne did not like Brick and Savannah. In fact, it wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination to say that she hated them, not only for how they treated Vinnie and Cav, but for their overall attitude. Still, it wasn't like she could do or say anything; even without the strict order to "be nice", Cheyanne was too meek and fearful to ever let her distaste show. So...she was nice. She referred to them as "Mr. Dakota" and "Mr. Cavendish", and used "sir" or "ma'am" often. She smiled, as placidly as a newly-made doll. Shy even curtsied, though it was just flouncy enough for them to know it wasn't genuine. No matter what they said or did, she was nice. And why? Plain and simply, it drove them nuts. Her smug, fake politeness grated on their nerves, but there was no way they could snap at her just for being courteous. Until one of them snapped, Cheyanne was going to keep on being nice, if only to watch them squirm. Cell She was crying. That was what bothered Cavendish the most about this whole situation. Of course, it was bad enough to be stuck in an unfamiliar, alternate version of the past, separated from a third of your team, and trapped in a 15x15 jail cell with the other third of your team, but surprisingly enough, Cavendish could handle that much. He had faced similar if not worse circumstances before, and he had lived through them...as far as he knew, anyway. The one thing he could not handle was the pitiful, panicked sound of Cheyanne crying and desperately trying to compose herself. Cavendish wasn't a heartless man, by any means; sure, he was a little more reserved and professional than Dakota or Shy, but it wasn't because of a lack of feeling. He just didn't know how to comfort people, and so his hand wavered hesitantly above the young woman's shoulder. "Cheyanne, please, if you would only..." Cavendish stalled; what was he supposed to say? Oh, how did Dakota always make it look so easy?! This...this was just not his thing. With a frustrated exhale, the older man stood up. "Come off it, woman!" The way she flinched made Cavendish wish he'd never opened his mouth.  Easing back down a bit, he softened his tone. "I know that this looks bad, and I won't lie, right now we are in the most dire of straits. But no good will come of sitting here doing nothing! We should look for a way out. Will you help me?"

She nodded wordlessly. Despite the dire situation at hand, he couldn't help but smile; maybe he wasn't so bad at comforting people after all. Dinner Cheyanne lacked variety in her cooking skills. Despite being in her early 20's, she was  a very fussy eater, thanks to her place on the autism spectrum, and was prone to eating the same few things. Thus, she only knew a few recipes. Still, it was more than she could say for either of her partners. She lived for the days she was motivated enough and could surprise them with a nice dinner. It was nice to see their faces light up, and even nicer to feel like she could do something for them for once. After all, they were always worth it. Nightmare The first death is always the hardest. Vinnie remembered every time he had watched Cavendish perish, and how could he not? The first time it happened, the sight practically engraved itself on the back of his eyelids for the next year or so. Even if, in a sick sort of way, he became used to it, it always stuck in the back of his mind for awhile after. It was a thankless and sometimes harsh job, and Vinnie knew it. But when you love someone-really, truly, deeply loved someone-the way he loved Cavendish, it's something you would do, every time, without a second thought. When Shy came along, he knew that eventually he would have to make the same sacrifice for her; it was a thought that stuck in the back of his mind for months, and a thought he tried his best to prevent. Fate, unfortunately seemed to laugh at his hope. When the day came, he was nowhere near as prepared as he thought he would be. It happened so fast-a flash, a bang, and then...then nothing. She was gone, and he knew what he had to do. Even a week later, he still woke up in a cold sweat, involuntary tears running down the side of his cheek, with the last thing she said to him bouncing off the walls of his skull. After a few agonizing seconds, his eyes finally adjusted to the darkness and he remembered (gratefully) where he was. In their room. In bed. Shy on his left, drooling into her pillow and murmuring about cats, and Cavendish on his right, a complete mess in his sleep the way he would never allow during the day. And, despite everything he had seen, everything he knew, he smiled. This was where he wanted to be. This was where he belonged, and in the end, it was always worth it. Hold "Bad day, huh?" Shy stood over the couch, staring down at Mr. Cavendish with a look of deep concern; upon coming home, the first-and only-thing he did was flop face-first onto the couch and let out an agonized groan. "I do not. Want to talk about it." came his muffled reply. He made no attempt to move. Cheyanne's frown deepened, and she began rocking on the balls of her feet. She wished there was something she could do to help him. Vinnie wasn't going to be home for awhile yet, and in the meantime she was stuck here with a morose and anti-social Cavendish. What to do? One could practically see the lightbulb go off inside her head. Sidling up beside him, smile seeping into her voice, she spoke gently. "Cav?" "Hmm." He only grunted in response. "I think that, in light of recent events, you could use a little "Me Time"." Well, that got him to move; lifting the top half of his body up, he offered Cheyanne a very confused look. "Cheyanne, this is a one-bedroom apartment, there isn't exactly space for me to-" "No, no, you misunderstand." Shy took Cavendish's face in her hands, still smiling. "I meant "me" time. As in, time with me."  He said nothing as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a tight hug. "There. You feel better yet?" He tried, in vain, to remain gruff in tone and hide the small blush creeping up on his face. "Hmph. Certainly not." "Well, I guess that just means I'm gonna have to try again." Knot "I told you not to backtalk those pirates!" Cheyanne hissed, flexing her wrists in a vain attempt to undo the ropes tied tightly around them. Dakota shrugged...or, tried to, as his hands were tied as well. "Ah, well. Live and let learn." "Live-and?! They're going to make you walk the plank!" It was Cavendish's turn to pipe in. "That's not going to happen....Pirates actually didn't employ the use of planks as they do in movies. More than likely they're going to keelhaul us." "You're not helping!" Shy hummed in thought, beginning to rock in place. "We have to find a way out of this, a way to cut the ropes. Do either of you have a spork?" Insight It's said that the people one surrounds themselves with are a mirror; by examining the traits we admire, or despise, in another, we really see the things we wish we are, or aren't. In her case, it was always a one-way mirror.

She could always find something kind to say about someone. It was never mere idle flattery, either; her compliments were always genuine, and quite accurate. Likewise, her insults cut to the bone, for they too always hit their mark. She was a person who observed and reported on what she saw. So what baffled them both was how dim her view of herself was. The clarity with which she saw others was completely muddled when turned inward, lost in a murky sea of insecurity, fear, and the nasty things that others had said about her in the past. No matter what they tried to say, anything to relieve that negative view, she would only shake her head and insist they were being nice.

They would just have to try again, then. And again, and again, until they could show her the person she really was. The person they loved. Drink "June is bustin' out all oooovvvaaaaah-!!" "The ocean is full of Jack and Jills!" Cavendish plugged his ears and grumbled as he walked alongside his two companions, who who currently busy drunkenly butchering the lyrics to a Rogers and Hammerstein classic. "Stop it, both of you! It's nearly midnight and nobody wants to hear-" "JUNE IS BUSTING OUT ALL OVER! THE SHEEP AREN'T SLEEPING ANYMORE!" They both sang louder, out of pure retaliation. With a resigned sigh, Cavendish held his ears tighter. "I am never allowing you two alcohol again. Land sakes, it's not even June!" Introduction "Shy, c'mere a minute. There's someone we want you to meet." Vinnie motioned Cheyanne over to his side, where a young man-a kid, really-stood by, beaming enthusiastically. "Milo Murphy, meet Shy Wyatt. Shy Wyatt, Milo Murphy." "Hi!" The boy, Milo, chirped, extending a hand to her, which she eagerly took. "Nice to meetcha." "Likewise." She returned the boy's eager smile. "So, you're friends with Vinnie and Cav?" "Yep!" Milo nodded. "You too?" Shy giggled. "You could say that...So, uh," Cheyanne stammered, trying to change the subject. "How do you guys know each other?" Looking to Dakota, the two exchanged knowing glances. Pulling up a chair (that, before too long, collapsed under him thanks to Murphy's Law), Milo looked up at her. "It's a long, weird story." Cheyanne flinched from the sound of the chair breaking, a single eyebrow quirking high when she saw that Milo didn't appear to be phased. "I live for those." "Then I think we're going to get along great." Concentrate "Hey, babe~." Cheyanne looked up (and, backwards somewhat, thanks to her awkward position in front of the stove) in annoyance. "Hey, Vin. Do you mind? I've got to watch this boil, or it'll-" "You can do that anytime." He grinned down at her, arms firmly wrapped around the girl's waist. "I've been gone all day. Just, just let me see you really quick, then you can get back to whatever it is you're doing." Shy let out a soft, affectionate sigh. "You're so sweet. This will just take a minute, and then I'll spend as much time with you as you want, I promi-oh!" She was cut off once again, this time from being spun around and pulled into a deep kiss. Cheyanne's focus dissolved away, and a few seconds later the pot on the stove boiled over, though neither of them noticed or cared. After all, who could concentrate on food at a time like this? Trust Balthazar Cavendish looked in silent amusement as the two loves of his life played some silly, primitive board game together on the floor of their apartment. Of course, the two of them had offered-begged, in fact-for him to play with them, but he had insisted that he was content to watch. And watch he did. Cheyanne's eyes lit up as she explained the rules and pieces-what everything did and what it meant-in enthused detail, and at that, Cavendish couldn't help but smile. It was hard to believe that the vibrant and talkative young woman sitting on his floor was the same person that he and Dakota had met a year and a half ago. The comparison felt like night and day; the girl sitting here was so colorful and alive, free with her thoughts, laughter, and affection. The woman who had first moved in with them...well, she was nothing like that.  Cheyanne came from a world of uncertainty and shattered trust, where nothing changed and yet nothing was guaranteed. People frightened her because she knew that somebody could be fine one minute and slamming doors and screaming the next, and there was no way to tell if or when it would happen. She barely said a word to them the first week she was there. In fact, she was so quiet that both of them often forgot her presence entirely. Cavendish recalled, a bitter taste filling his mouth, the way she would flinch any time someone spoke loudly or slammed a door on accident. When she dropped a dish that one day, he was certain she was going to cry. It was unbearable, until...well, he didn’t know exactly when or how it happened, but something in her began to change.

Somehow, Cheyanne started to trust them. Little by little, she began to speak up, and flinch less, and her whole demeanor changed from a frightened little mouse into the clever and creative girl he knew now. That had to be around the time Cavendish realized that he was falling for her.

Now, in the present (or past as it were), she was the person he knew that he loved, that Vinnie loved, and who loved them both back with her whole heart. In his own, Cavendish thanked any listening deity for her trust; without it, they would be missing a valuable piece of their puzzle.

[makotothedweeb]

“Why are you antisocial??? Go socialize uwu!!1!”

hmm... gee, maybe it’s because: 

Everyone calls/expects me to be a “r*t*rd” because I’m autistic, when I’m one of the smartest people in my school. 

When i prove that I have good grades and that I’m not in any special needs classes (I don’t need them), everyone calls me “fake”. 

Everyone expects me to be hetero and want kids and want sex and all that shit that “”normal”” females want, only because I look female (I’m nonbinary, not female ffs). 

When i say I don’t want kids, everyone gets upset. Kids infuriate me anyway. 

The area I live in has a lot of homicides/crimes. It’s been this way for a while.

(it might not seem like much but the only thing you hear on the news if you live in my area is weather and homicides or robberies) 

If you’e disabled and/or LGBTQIA+,  people will not care about your problems. I learned this the hard way, thanks to my elementary school. 

I’ve been bullied since kindergarten. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with autism and realized I was asexual I realized why. Most people would be [expectedly]  like “oh no that child is being bullied because of their sexual orientation/disability!! that’s horrible!!” NOPE. Not me.

Bullying. 

Following the point above, I’ve been bullied since kindergarten because people either hate me for existing or “”love”” me (which is bullshit btw- if you “”love”” someone you don’t bully them. puberty isn’t a damn excuse either.) 

What happened when i was bullied and told someone like I was SUPPOSED to??? Nothing. Absolutely NOTHING. It got bad to the point where I made a suicide attempt. I remained suicidal until less than a year ago. 

Did anyone talk me out of suicide, or even HELPED? No. i talked MYSELF out of suicide. 

“Why don’t you use makeup like normal girls? Why don’t you dress like normal girls? Why don’t you have a boyfriend like normal girls? [etc]”

First off all, I’m not a damn girl. 

Second of all, I hate makeup with a passion. 

Third off all, i can dress how I damn well please. 

Fourth of all, not like YOU care, I’m a grayroace that prefers girls. 

Lastly, just because “normal” girls are wearing makeup and have 3 boyfriends it doesn’t mean I should. 

P.S. Every girl at my school that wears makeup looks like she’s begging for plastic surgery. 

Lastly:

I can’t stand within a nanometer of someone without them bitching at me to change.

I reject a guy because I’m not attracted to guys? “YOU’RE A BITCH!” 

I say I don’t want kids? “HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT KIDS??” 

I’m white? “YOU’RE RACIST!!!”

I look like a girl and I’m actually nonbinary? “Be more ladylike!!”

I’m autistic and do things that help me out, or I get upset? “LMAO ANGER PROBLEM FREAK BITCH WHORE LOL XD”

I do anything that generally stops me from doing another suicide attempt or getting more depressed than I already am? “STOP DOING THAT YOU’RE OFFENDING ME!!! >:((”    [fyi I do one of four things to help myself out: I write, I draw, I watch youtube videos, or I harm myself. nobody gives a damn when I do any of those things (especially not when I harm myself until i draw blood or my skin turns red), so why would it offend you if you don’t care?]

TL;DR: People are terrible and hate me for who I am, and everyone expects me to “be social” with these/you fuckwads. Why though? It’s like you’re asking for me to suffer. I’ve met nicer people on the INTERNET than in real life. People disgust me. 

[knightofbalance-13]

http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/158821156544/rant-on-yangs-nonexistent-recovery-arc

I wanna preface this before I begin: I really do think yang needed more screentime this Volume. She got shafted in Volume 1 and 2 and here it was a souring experience to see her sidelined. Now I am not blaming Jaune: That guy had about a third of the screen time to himself than Yang. If I were to blame someone in the series, I’d blame Blake for hogging an entire episode to herself or Tyrian for taking up ending time that could have been used for Yang. But my honest opinion? I’m optimistic: If the writers show that Yang ahsn’t gotten over the PTSD in latter Volumes I will actually be very happy. Nothing is more insulting than underplaying the lasting effects of a mental illness, making it seem easy to get over. I didn’t get that vibe from Yang considering she had to be depressed for around nine months considering it was fall when we saw her after Beacon, it was winter after that and a minimum of six months have passed since that point. It’s entirely possible for Yang to recover in that span of time, especially if Volume 4 was told out of order.

I am saying this now to put what I am about do in context: I am a Yang fan, my main complaint with V4 was that she got too little screentime and I have an aversion to mental illnesses being downplayed. By all rights, I should agree with @Dudebblade right?

Well...

IF YOU WERE TO USE THE SAME TECHNIQUES SHOWN IN RWBY ON A PTSD VICTIM, YOU WOULD BE CALLED OUT ON YOUR INSENSITIVITY!

This isn highly hypocritical as Dudeblade has in the past said that Taiyang was wrong for breaking down after Summer’s death....his team leader...and the mother of his second daughter and caretaker of his first...after losing Raven, his first love and mother of Yang...all in about four years time...leaving him a single widower of two, a job meant for to people at minimum. It’s hard raising a kid I know, I’ve been hearing my mom state the hardships for years. And quite frankly, I wasn’t that hard of a kid I didn’t go around challenging demonic wolves or attacking bars and as much as I love my mom, Taiyang is a better parent than both of them and suffered even more than her. And Dudeblade calls this insensitive but not a widower. Yeah, he’s not allowed to talk.

I don’t give a shit if the arc was “Too hard” to write. You set yourself up to make a recovery arc. You should deliver. If it wasn’t as easy as you thought it was, then you should tough it out, and do it. Otherwise you failed to deliver on something that you promised.

You promised to be my friend and then betrayed me three times. Again, Hypocriticial.

It’s like if the RWBY writers promised that there would be LGBT representation, but refuses to point them out… Oh wait… That’s actually what’s happening right now.

You now, I have an LGBT friend named @mageknight14 and he’s just as sick of this as I am. I am starting to think they SHOULDN’T have an LGBT character if you keep bitching. You don’t hear me bitching for Asperger’s representation even though Autism is synonomous with “Brain damamged” in the world and the closest thing I have to a representitive is Sheldon Cooper.

Alright, something I’m going to have to do, is to compare this show’s PTSD recovery arc, with another show’s recovery arc. Not to be a dick or anything, but the only other well-known show that did a PTSD recovery arc well, was Legend of Korra. Not to compare RWBY to a show that has had an entire team of writers, professional animators, a previous series that was well-received, and an epic premise to undermine it or anything, but hey. Miles did say that the Season three of LoK missed the line by an inch, and found it “Meh” (Yep. Bringing that one back.)

Oh so people’s personal opinion is something you are allowed to judge them on? Okay then, you like Raven ergo anything you have to say about parental characters ever is disregarded. And unlike you who has stated their opinion as fact, Miles stated his opinion as ONLY that. And if you’re gonna pull that, how about I start comparing your DB chronicals to Miles’ writing? Let’s see: Pandering to LGBT demographic with Tifa and Yang, crappy reasoning for not using Goku or Superman which hasn’t been addressed, under usage of the Villians, under suage of Vegeta, directly copying and pasting Godzilla Vs. Gamera ect. Doesn’t feel to good huh? Maybe next time you could learn some empathy?

Hey, if Miles wants to criticize a show, and claim that “missing the mark by an inch” makes the finale “Meh”, then I can say that missing an entire plot by a light year is INFURIATING.

And I can point out the bullshit in your crap without an inch of regret or remorse. Funny how that works.

It’s almost as if it was the most insulting piece of shit that I have had to watch since reading poorly written fanfics that were clearly meant to troll people.

You emna like basic pandering, random and lazy fourth wall breaks, expecting us that Deadpool would be friends with you, under using 90% of your cast, making some deity look after you and making Yang and Guts look similar when they share like three basic things together? Or how about yang remembering Carolina ahs Pyrrha’s voice but the snarky AI in her suit that sounds like her father? Nope, nothing to see there. Also, TYang knows RT but doesn’t know a single person from RvB because...plot?

I’m getting off-topic here. Legend of Korra Book 4 handled PTSD with an ENORMOUS amount of seriousness, respect, and time. Not only was this a case of a timeskip being used in a manner that was actually the right way of using it, but they showed that Korra was struggling. While she could always blame it on the mercury poisoning, it showed that Korra wasn’t merely “moping” (I will never let that line go), it showed that she was terrified. She wanted to get better, but she had to go at her own pace.

Yeah and tehw riters of Korra had a shit ton more experience, payment and less pressure considering they could coast off of the original’s success. Which they kind of did seeing as I have heard a shit ton of non-LGBT people call bull on Korrasami.

Okay then, I will never let anything yousay go then as well. Have fun with that: My specialty is turning one’s words against them.

In fact, she had to be the one to decide to get the mercury out of her system. She wasn’t guilt-tripped into doing it, she did it because she was ready. It had nothing to do with someone calling her a burden. It was because it was at that moment, that she had recovered. There’s a reason why this episode stands out from most. It was because, through the help of Toph, Korra managed to overcome her fears and doubts, and remove the mercury herself.

Okay...is Yang Korra? No? Then they will NOT handle this situation the same way. Unless they are carbon copies of each other or at least have the same basic experiences, your point DOES NOT stand. And since you just expect us to take your wrd for it after insulting Taiyang, Miles and later on you will use Shane and Monty to attack RT, I have no good will.

Hm, let’s go through this again shall we?

Terrified...Guess that Adam dream or the PTSD flash never happened...

Choose to get the Mercury out of her system...Not how the body works...And taiyang didn’t stitch it on neither did Yang have to deal with her fault at letting her sister be in danger. Yeah, If Taiyang is a bad father for breaking down, Yang is a worse sister because she broke down longer, with no one to help Ruby, over less pain and had support all unlike taiyang.

And is RWBY over yet? ... No? Then I’d bet you’ll be eating your words sooner than latter.

RWBY just rushed it. Yang wasn’t given time to actually decide to put the arm on, her father heavily implied that she was a burden, she overheard it, and felt guilty (Seriously, how did she hear that? Is she some kind of rare half-breed or something?).

Like all children are: it’s a fact of life get use to it. Whether or not the child or parent think that way, iyt is a fact. Just as well: We only have your word on that. You, who have proven you are projecting your own parental problems onto Taiyang. yeah, you are the definition of Unreliable Narrator.

But hey, let’s take a look at Berserk. Let’s see what would happen if we were to use RWBY’s techniques on Casca. Hey, Casca! I know you got assaulted by the man you used to love romantically and everything, and that he violated you in ways that we probably couldn’t even begin to comprehend, but how about you get over it? - And now, I have been bifurcated by Guts for saying something like that. Why? Because Casca from Berserk has PTSD! She’s not going to magically get better by getting some heals or shit like that! She has PTS FUCKING D! You either treat it with respect, or don’t set yourself up to write it out to begin with.

Pardonnez-moi, mais vous n'avez aucune idée de ce que vous dites.

Okay then, let’s use your method of parenting on Guts shall we?

HEY GUTS! DUDEBLADE SAID YOU’RE A TERRIBLE FATHER FOR BREAKING DOWN AFTER TEH ECLIPSE AND CASCA’S RAPE, THAT YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU, THAT YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BE CONSIDERED GOOD AGAIN AND THAT YOU ARE WORSE THAN YOUR OWN FATHER AND GRIFFITH!

Oh look, he’s pretty pissed. Hope you enjoy having a crossbow shoved up your neither regions.

Also: Is Yang and Casca the same person? Have they faced the same troubles? Do they even share one event in the past? NO. So how about you stop using stupid examples and I might stop Guts from shoving his sword up your uretha?

Then Tai said, “Looks like you lost some brain cells along with that arm of yours.” Keep in mind that both Port and Oobleck were shocked at this. It shows that Tai crossed a line there, and in all honesty, if Yang hadn’t laughed, they would have been scared shitless for Yang’s mental health. Something that they didn’t really consider. These are supposed to be her teachers and parents, but they don’t do anything to actually help Yang get better mentally. Not to mention that Miles and Kerry said that writing the PTSD recovery arc was “too hard.” is rather insulting considering NOTHING HAPPENED! I don’t give a shit about that. I don’t give a single shit if it was “Too hard.” or not. You have to do it in a respectful manner, or you become one of the most insensitive people ever. to the point where I think that this becomes appropriate:

Oh so you’re insensitive for telling one joke but not for directly insulting someone when they are trying to help you? Because Yang did EXACTLY that! remember this line?

“I lost a part of me, it’s gone and it’s never coming back. You can’t possibly understand how that feels.”

She says this to man who lost both of his lovers, lost his team, nearly lost his kids twice with one comatose and the other depressed and hurting him for trying to help, had to wake up every day for six months wondering if his brother in law, daughter and friends were all dead. It’s like bitching about a hangnail in front of Guts: Not comparable in the slightest. If I were Taiyang I would have walked up to her, got in her face and recounted everything that I have lost to her and make her see just how much she actually lost.

Not enough? How about Ruby, her younger sister who lost more than her, was comatose for it and preserved still? Or Qrow, who lives with misfortune over his head 24/7? By far: Yang is the BEST one off so by your logic, she has no right to complain and neither do you!

Yeah. People who treat PTSD as insensitively as the writers did should be fired from breathing.

... You are telling them to die over a fictional character...

You know what is even more insulting dudeblade? Using suicide baiting right in front of a formerly suicidal person. Fuck you in every sense of the word.

Before anyone says any bullshit about how Red vs. Blue had the character ripping on each other, so that this is “okay.” - I’d like to point out that in the scene where Doc’s split personality O’Mally, roasts Grif for having to take care of his sister because his father left, and his mother was in the circus. Nobody really laughed. And when Doc snapped out of it, he apologized. None of the Reds or Blues ever hit that close to home, and when it did happen, they treated it seriously. It wasn’t a joke, it wasn’t a punchline, it was an actual serious thing.

Yes itw as a joke. It’s called Black humor and the narrative treated it as  afailed attempt at Doc’s peace which was the real punchline. And the same guy also insulted his own sister several times throughout the BGC.

And what about getting shot by a tank, being told you’re worthless, being said you won’ta mount to anything, being forced off to die several times and take the blame for everything? That’s the entirety of the BGC’s thing.

And it was treated seriously as a way to break the ice and unlike Grif, YANG WAS OKAY WITH IT. And unlike Doc, Taiyang KNOWS YANG. HE RAISED HER! How convenient for you to not mention these factors huh?

The really infuriating part was the fact that it started off so well. Yang nearly had a panic attack when she dropped the glass, she was having nightmares about Adam, she openly said that she felt as if “A part of her was missing, and it wasn’t coming back.”, she had gotten used to using only one arm- It was going so well! At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if the current writing team for RWBY would be unable to write a respectful, and realistic PTSD Recovery arc to save their lives. The writing’s become shit since they booted Monty’s wife, Sheena and Shane off the team. I’m sure they REALLY appreciate it.

(Growls deeply)

You wanna know what is really fucking sick, as in, I can NEVER forgive, that I have deemed people horrible for, that has truly made me hate them?

Using a person’s death or mental illness for their own gain, usually attacking friends and family with it.

Like you have done with Monty and Shane.

I hoep you’re happy because you have crossed so many lines. I hope you’re happy being hateful and pessimistic because you know what? You are no better than those people at Yang Haters Haven for threatening Ben and Chad’s lives. In fact, you are WORSE than them. You are essentially digging up Monty’s corpse to beat his friends, his grieving friends who shared so much with, with it. Congratulations, you are what you hate. Except they can always say “I never used a dead man for my own gains.”

I have no respect for you, no hope for you, no kindness for you.

You are worse than most people in the rwde tag and that is saying a lot considering their suicide baiting and death threats.

Enjoy the fucking hole you dug for yourself, I’ll be sure to fill it up and put you out of your misery never.