#maybe it is connected to like... i dont rlly love ppl for what they can give me or do for me. or what they can fill or provide etc etc

[bunnihearted]

.

[dullahandyke]

Not otherkin but I believe in their beliefs almost solely bcos describing tender actions as 'human' ticks me off. 'The act of impulsive communal creation is so human' ywah well I bet some lizards could do that. And pretty well too

[pumpkinsy0]

SOC CURLY X GREASER PONY AU PLEASE

OK SO i recant that nobody would gaf bout hearin me talk about my au guys im srry</333

•ok im maybe gonna crush some dreams here but this isnt gonna b one of those “curly secretly acts super nice to pony as a soc” au’s bc im so serious rn, he rlly wouldnt b

•they shepards r still SOMEWHAT themselves, however maybe they arent as down to earth and r more stuck in their own heads, they still got shitty parents but they have maids and butlers who take care of them they can see as parent figures ig, but they arent rlly much of a family, they arent as connected w each other

•curlys like genuinely more of an ass as a soc, u aint think it was possible but its bc nobody has genuinely humbled him, he doesnt rlly get in trouble w the law bc he either gets paid out or let off w a warning

•the best way i can describe curlys feelings towards pony is that, he doesnt particularly hate pony as a person, just what he is, he hates that he’s a greaser, idek if hates a good word but u get what i mean brah

•curly would call pony baby while teasing him in front of his friends and ppl would assume that he means like crybaby, or MAYBE like baby as a way to crawl under ponys skin, but johnny realized it was something a littttlleeee more and once asked pony why he calls him that and pony just went pretended he aint hear johnny😭

“why does curly call u bbg”

“damn i think its gonna rain”

•btw i dont think theyre rlly beating each other up in this au, they avoid each other in rumbles and the most curly does is ride beside pony while hes walking home to taunt him, even then if pony absolutely knew nobody would b home he gets in the car so curly can just drive his ass home

•if u want angst, once pony thought curly was involved w beating someone from his gang up, perchance its johnny, srry johnny

•btw PLEASE dont think ponys just taking curlys teasing, hes a lil shit hes saying something back to him i promise

•pony has a job as a waiter and curly loves going in there to be an annoying ass customer, im not putting it above pony to fuck w curlys food a lil bit he kinda deserves it

•so ive debated on how actually the shepards became soc’s and im telling u rn chances r they r new money type rich and if u want the angst and hurt/comfort for papercut in this au u WILL go along w them being new money

[topazpearl]

So remember my big sbg theory doc? forget that existed, heres the new one

Discusses up to Ep 61. Fast-pass spoiler FREE

Content discussions about death, mental illness, sui.cide; yknow. Heavy Thriller webtoon stuff (tm)

[Hamilton chorus voice] NUMBER ONE: Giant freakin phantompedes and how to escape them

-I was right about the football field lights to try to kill them idea yippee

-HOEWVERR, theres so many attacking the school rn and its freaking collapsing?? I literally dont know how they’re gonna get outta this

-Unless (unless) my Phantom Ashlyn theory is relevant, ashlyn can talk to them and tells them to go away and they… do! idk lol it's stupid but maybe ash has enough girl boss energy to convince them. or theyre so shocked by a human talking to them theyre like "dang ok". Could still happen! 

NUMBER TWO: Phantom Transformation Theory

So it’s Basically confirmed: 

If you die in the PD, you start to turn into a Phantom.

Of course we wont know for sure until we actually SEE it but like, Aiden’s creepy af smile and basically coming back to life in ashlyn’s arms after DYING it’s like, basically confirmed. 

Ash wonders why Aiden snapped out of his seizure so fast compared to Tyler. Severity of injuries could definitely be a factor (tho like, im assuming Aiden got freaking blunt force trauma brain damage which, to me, is just as bad as being impaled). Another factor could be that Tyler died only about 30 minutes into the Time, while Aiden died almost right when it ended. And… we saw how fast Aiden started to “turn”. Red technically never shows us Tyler during those hours after he died. He very well… may have completely phantomized, but when he woke up in the real world, the transformation reverted. I'm very scared abt what Aiden’s gonna be like next night.

SUB THEORY: The Power of Human Connection and Phantom Reversal

Remember how Jasmine (the gang tour girl) asked if it was alright that all the kids got sucked in w/ ashlyn? This implies that 

1. They usually expect 1 person/their target to get sucked into the PD

2. The origami gang has never dealt with a group being sucked in at once

- I believe (and the evil gang doesnt know this) that the kids being together is an integral part of their future survival. Tyler snapped back to consciousness in the hospital after Taylor had her PISSED moment. This moment was similar to Logan’s freakout, in that it tugged the phantom world to the real world, for a second. I think these intense emotions (taylor’s specifically out of anger and worry for her twin), pulled tyler’s “soul” out of the PD and into the RD. 

- Now, you may ask, “what abt if a random person got into the PD and died and went into a seizure/coma? Why couldnt their loved ones “bring” them back?” thats a good Q idk. Perhaps the kids all being in the PD together is what creates this flow, a two-way street, between the two dimensions. 

- Anyway also while Ashlyn and co didnt didnt get into an angry freakout moment when Aiden died, but we all know Ash and Aiden got something developing/going on thats special ♥, and thats what tugged Aiden back (its cliche but its the power of love there i said it). 

- Also NOT saying that the other kids’ concern over their friends doesn’t matter or count (Ben and Aiden are Fam too), but like, i’m wondering if it needs to be a REALLY INTENSE love (familial/romantic/whatever) in order to basically bring someone back from the dead. idk

-interestingly, ty WAS essentially in a coma-like state, like how the spy said, which supports that it’s expected that ppl die in the PD eventually, and go into comas. I’m wondering if those who normally get sucked into the PD and die, theyre dealing with it by themselves, have no one to “pull them back” like taylor and/or ashlyn did, and they stay in a coma. 

-rlly hope the boys arent like “possessed” or smn. Maybe the soul is like, tainted? Those big black eyes man… (ALSO THAT PREVIEW IMAGE WITH LOGAN AND THE BIG BLACK EYES??? WHAT??)

-going off the dead PD ppl turn into phantoms theory>> If a phantom is killed, their connected person in the RD who was in a coma dies fr permanently

NUMBER THREE: Ashlyn and the Phantoms (cool new band name) 

we know the kids are getting influenced by the PD, making phantom noises (further supports phantoms were people theory) but with Ashlyn's "really strong" connection to the PD, she's in special danger. If one can turn into a phantom without dying, it's gonna be her. Ryan the spy said that "the girl" – assumingly ashlyn– should be "especially" at risk of danger. This could be bc she was the one who interacted with the rift, or bc she already has a higher level of phantom influence on her. 

-when ashlyn told the phantom to let go, and her friends to calm down, both times she spoke with a black speech bubble WITH PHANTOM NOISE LINES NEAR IT. this is different than characters who have also spoken with black bubbles (aiden, logan, taylor). obviously these have been with threats/malice, but they didn't have the red lines. These times ashlyn has spoken, the phantom acknowledged her voice, and her friends' spell-like violence trance was broken. Theory: ashlyn not only can hear phantoms, but she can speak their language sort of

-when ashlyn was born, a phantom like touched her in a blessing/cursing sense which is part of the reason why she can hear phantoms and her strong PD connection. possibly even possession???? 

-tldr i want ashlyn to enter her monster girl era 

The evil gang seems confused why the kids have lasted so long. maybe Ashlyn's PD connection goes both ways. she provides a strong anchor to the RD. Maybe the PD is USUALLY all desolate with the pillars that we saw in the finale (maybe it's even an afterlife of sorts?), but Ashlyn makes a huge radius (~30 miles! (assuming kids were driving at least 60mph for 30 minutes)) of the PD around where she wakes up mirror the real world, creating a safer space for her and the kids. meanwhile a normal person that gets sucked into the PD gets thrown into a desolate hell world different from the RD (also maybe stuck there permanently), causing them to die much quicker. 

-maybe this influence is even part of the reason why RD tyler is awake (And aiden)

-Ashlyn's influence extends to jamming the recording devices like some kind of weird phantom static.

-Broke: Ashlyn's parents wanted her to learn self defense and have a knife bc they're in the military. Woke: they want her to be able to protect herself after the phantom scare when she was a baby

-Also THANK GOD she’s finally acting on her intuition. Sm times she’s been like “this feels bad!” and doesnt do anything. Almost makes me wonder if it’s a supernatural intuition based on phantom stuff. Like shes WAY OFF from the hospital and the drama and is like “HMM! Smn going on” 

NUMBER FOUR: Origami gang and Co INC. 

-The gangs symbol is an origami crane (orizuru). the crane in East Asia has longevity as one of its symbolisms, with some myths saying it flies souls up to paradise. there's the popular myth that if you fold 1000 cranes you get a wish.

Heres where the evil twist comes in. The gang boss believes that if he traps 1000 people in the PD as like, a sacrifice, then he'll get a wish and he'll ask for eternal life or whatever. this gang is a cult and he's tricked everyone saying that they'll also get a long life but really it's probably only gonna be him 🤫 So they go around to different haunted places in America and pick ppl they sense can open these shadow rifts and get sucked in. the phantoms may be ppl they trapped in the past and they've turned into phantoms

-Ryan, the guy who's spying on the kids, maybe is ALSO "Mr. thomas". he just puts on a wig and is a good actor lol. this is the reason why he asks about "Mr. Thomas's" fate. What goes against this is that Ryan seems to know all about the PD mechanisms, which doesn't fit Mr. Thomas being confused abt ashlyns hair. Unless he wasn't expecting it

– or "Mr thomas" could just be Ryan's friend or brother or smn. A low ranked guy in the gang that got stuck with roping Ashlyn into Savannah, but doesn't know the truth/details about the PD. 

-the gang mentions that "both sides" are trying to track them. either the government and a supernatural hunting group, or even some force in the PD like some Alpha Phantom like the devil who's like "Where's my dead people quota hello?" or better yet "you're messing with MY domain and I'm gonna Get You". 

-This is based solely on the Boss' appearance and smiling countenance: the gang Boss is Aiden's uncle, his dad's brother, his weird, estranged brother who's also evil probably. I'm really hung on this idea don't mind me 

-you have to be able to make a paper origami crane from memory to be an official gang member /hj 

NUMBER FIVE: Gen story/Character arcs and futures

-ready for a “power of love and friendship” aesop. these kids are gonna be so Bonded now after these traumatic experiences

-i had come up with an elaborate “death order” but thats now completely jossed now so im ignoring that

-PRAISING THE FREAKING LORD THAT ALL THE PARENTS KNOW NOWAND THAT MIKE BELIEVES THEM AND IS HELPING HIS DAUGHTER. DAD OF THE YEAR AWARD. IF ANYTHING AHPPENS TO HIM IM SUEING!!!!!

- SO NOW that all the parents know, and like, have seen all the phantoms and everything and BTW WILL PROBABLY GET SUCKED INTO THE PD AT SOME POINT because they felt the shift like the kids did, they help the kids get to Savannah yippee!! a cool Big family squad force they all hop on a working school bus or smn and drive there. PLs

- the families getting sucked in would be HUGE cause they arent prepared. Logan’s grandparents and Lily are top targets 😭

So the kids are gonna get kidnapped. that's definitely gonna be a thing, either mid S2 or ending. up in the air whether the kidnapping is successful or not. (assuming the gang would be smart enough to get rid of the kids’ phones when they get them)

-actually I'm placing my bets now S2 finale will be them getting kidnapped and it just cuts off there for another awful cliffhanger.

-since it seems Mr thomas will be involved, he'll ask the kids to stay after school to talk abt their failing grades or smn, and then maybe they're hit with knockout gas??

OR the gang has been spying on them so they pick a time the kids all separated and jump them. 

-maybe this is when aiden knowing where ashlyns dance studio is is actually plot relevant!!?? like he (and Ben probably cuz they're always together) are able to escape their attackers and Aiden goes to help ashlyn cuz he wants to make sure she's OK. and she's either fine cuz she's a girl boss and can kick butt, or he saves her oo la la 

–lol imagine kidnapping is successful, gang tells kids why they were kidnapped, (if Evil Boss Uncle theory is true this helps facilitate this) but Ashlyn "goes off" on Aiden yelling and "attacking" him and stuff saying he's part of the gang, he planned it all along etc, but it's all a ruse to have the gang think she'll cause another energy spike (and Aiden gets this and plays along) so assuming the kids are locked up, the gang opens their cell to stop ashlyn, and that's when they escape lol

so like, i THOUGHT ashlyn/aiden was gonna be a slow burn but HAHAHA. i mean not as freaking slow obviously as like Miraculous love square lol, but like slow for thriller standards? But things are gonna be heating up between these two 😏 watch ashlyn be ~conflicted~ and ~in denial~~. And meanwhile poor aiden is a confused boy who doesnt know what ash wants like “b u told me to give u space and now here u are grasping my hand like ur life depends on it” 

Sorry back to character arcs:

Ashlyn: Learn to trust and connect with people, make friends, lean on others. Could be nice if she accepts and admits the kids are her friends by the end of S2, leaving the next season for Aiden/Ashlyn dev specifically? More development about her connection with the PD, which could put friendship to the test. [already getting this with her dad and Aiden so this is great]

Also she has the freaking GUILT like i expected! Watch her think tay hates her for like a week before tay is like “no?? I hate the ppl who did this to us instead” and then they hug it out 👍

Taylor: Willing to bet money the twins are unhealthily codependent on each other. She is on the edge bro. Unhinged feral. Is probably gonna be more angry in general despite it being a bad idea, like the top has been blown off. Bottled up emotions~! 

Still thinking she’ll get close to Ben too (whether anything romantic develops on top of it is debatable, but I can see it. theyve already got a cute little closeness going on)..

Tyler: Get this boy some ~THERAPY~ help he’s so depressed and angry. Learn to have hope again (like ben 😭). He has so much negativity inside him, i dont think that’ll help with whatever is going on with him rn like, hes probably in the THICK of the PD influence. He’s kinda like ash, needs to learn to rely on others.

Logan: Seems to be overcoming his fragility well if the arcade scene is any indication. Still has self-worth issues to overcome due to his parents' abandonment. Maybe we'll learn more about that in S2. That could be a rumor and the real reason he lives with his grandparents is that his parents died but idk why that'd be hidden unless their death was suspicious (like, drug ring?? His gpa got the GOODS APPARENTLY). 

Ben: Still needs to find a new passion for life, i suspect playing musical instruments like the guitar will be the answer (thank you tyler). Tho maybe learning to love his altered voice could happen? (tons of dudes have a rough/husky singing voice that ppl love) But this is probably unlikely.  

Aiden: Good Lord like, Aiden being (most likely) suic.idal in the past (and possibly even still NOW?) has floored me. I figured his loneliness and suspected parental neglect was bad but IT’S BAD. Dude wants to feel alive and not depressed… frick. AIDEN ARE YOU going to therapy??? Do your parents KNOW??? Is that why your parents finally settled down?? Guh. this on top of probably untreated ADHD.

–I’m assuming now Aiden started dying his hair to try to get any fragment of serotonin. 

– Kinda wondering if he grew up in a "toxic positivity" mentality home, where his parents are like "we're so privileged we shouldn't complain" ?

– im actually THIS close to beating Aiden’s parents with a stick.

NUMBER SIX: Miscellaneous predictions, wants, musings & hypotheticals.

-guessing now that the twin’s dad had cancer or smn

-hey uh what about the photo Logan took of the phantom back at the sorrel-weed house?? surely he still has it? can he show the parents?? will they be able to see it?

-Logan saw the whole Aidlyn hug from the roof from his snipper position, change my mind.

-Another “death” will happen in S2, possibly even two deaths. (GOD I WAS RIGHT)

-Mr thomas switches sides and helps the kids, gives them info

-Ryan (the spy) switches sides and helps the kids

-the tour lady Jasmine and the Boss are a hot evil couple 

also kinda want them to have a Rourke & Helga dynamic where he throws her under the bus at the last moment and she's Bissed 

-I want the boss to die by his own evil plan. 

–i doubt a redemption arc will happen but I'd be down for it if done well.

-*grabs your shoulders until they bleed* listen. Aiden saved ashlyn, now I need her to save him. I need this. 

-Taylor and Ashlyn girl time please!!!

-Logan and Aiden becoming closer would also give me joy. big Freckle and Rocky energy. 

-this doesn't have to happen but I think it'd be really funny if Aiden somehow gets the IDEA that Logan has a crush on Ashlyn when Logan doesn't, causing a stupid silly short jealousy arc.

-actually I really need a "can skydive from 10,000 ft but can't confess to the girl he likes" Aiden Clark 

-I've got a bad feeling smn will happen to Ashlyn's parents, specifically her dad

-if any of the gang/cult members hurt the kids or their fam fr irl im gonna >8) lose it

-the Origami gang fails to kidnap the kids and they accidentally create a huge "energy spike", making phantoms appear everywhere in town.

-if the kids DO get kidnapped successfully, I want Ashlyn to be an awesome girlboss and use her knife shoes to help them escape.

-if my puppy fic became Canon that'd be swaggie actually.

-let Ashlyn have a dog 2023

-pov you're in Georgia in the fall and a hurricane hits, knocking out solar power for a few days. what then? :)

-when all this garbage is over and they hopefully all live in the end, I want them to have a fun stargazing party led by Logan cause they can finally enjoy the night (And maybe aidlyn have their first Kiss?? 🙈)

-If there ISNT a "group goes to see Ashlyn in a ballet performance" scene then I'm WRITING IT MYSELF 

-At the end of all things, Aiden and Ashlyn will become a couple, or at least have reciprocal romantic feelings. This is not just my shipper heart talking. I feel it in my brain, in my soul. 

-So we know one or both of Aiden’s parents are writers. If anyone knows if that trophy Aiden’s dad is holding in that photo is a real award, hmu

-a kid going into an angry protective phantom mode to protect another(s) 😳 (aidlyn on the brain but it could be anyone)

-if I had a nickel for every time I've imagined Aiden dying in Ashlyn's arms, I'd have many nickels (IT BASICALLY HAPPENED! GREAT! 👍😭)

-what if having a good singing voice ran in Ben's family? haha jkjk…unless??? but they don't sing like ever cuz they don't want Ben to feel bad 

-man what if an sbg kid “died” by a phantom pushing them down a set of stairs.. 

-Rlly hope that Aiden's parents don't get scared seeing phantoms in their house and hearing other families having phantoms in THEIR houses and thinking the whole town is haunted, and they consider moving which they don't wanna do bc Aiden finally has friends but what else can they do!? angst. 

-John 15:13 for Ashlyn with the others except it's not permanent (I'm not saying ash is a Jesus figure tho WHWKEJEJDJ)

-I rlly wanna see ashlyn laugh

-Taylor actually using her mechanic skills. like maybe the jeep gets damaged [HAPPENED] and she fixes it. I dont want that jeep gone bro its already iconic (update: it’s probably gone bro.. sad)

-might be nice for Logan to have a reflection moment where even though all this horrible stuff is happening some good came out of it like he's not a slave to bullies anymore 

-I want to see Ben happy. well actually I want them all happy pls

[p0th]

ik im probably rlly late to the party but what is objectum, like is it a role play thing, is it a coping thing? I need someone to explain it to me like im 5 bc i genuinely just don't understand what it is lol

So the literal definition of being objectum is someone who's attracted to inanimate objects, whether that be platonic, romantic, sexual, or somethin else. However, looking at it with only its literal definition doesn't really account for the intricacies that such a label brings.

I just want to point out that while some people see objects as alive (the label for that being POSIC), others dont. Animism is also a similar term for where people percieve inanimate things as having souls. Personally, I dont see my object as alive, but do sometimes use gendered terms to describe them and feel comforted by their presence. People can also be objectum and be attracted to actual people too.

Being objectum is also more common in autistic people. Object personafication is a common trait seen in autism and other disorders and i can see how that can lead people to being objectum. Though I have never been formally diagnosed with anything, i am probably neurodivergent & maybe that has a part in me identifying as objectum idk!! Theres a study on autism in objectum ppl here if u want to glance over it: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-56449-0

For me, I started using the objectum label coincidentally around the time I started finally figuring out that i was aroace and not attracted to real people. I realized that the love I feel for my friends is equivalent to the love I feel for my hobbies and interests which was also the same love i felt towards certain objects. I drew this out cuz i think its a lil confusing how im saying it LOL. Theres also a thing called "conceptum" which is the attraction to concepts which I think i actually fall more into, but I just go by objectum because it is more general.

You know how people will swear they have this great relationship with nature? How they feel so so connected to plants and how they love watching the ocean and how they wish they could live outside forever because the forest is a part of their flesh and blood? How they feel more alive feeling the earths fresh air and how nature teaches them things they never even knew about themselves? okay, so, why is this normal to say but once u turn it around into something that’s an object it is insane talk!! I feel like there's this interesting dynamic where its okay to be super attached to nature but kinda weird to be super attached to inanimate things but i think i am rambling & getting off topic!!!

Personally, I dont really have objects that im attracted to in the same way I would be attracted to a human. It is very broad for me. Others though, have certain objects that they really like and thats fine. For me, going by that label just makes me comfortable even if i dont fit into the literal definition. I like computers in general, not just my own personal computer. Objectum for me is just another way to say that my love for inanimate things can be just as great as my love for animate things. Theres just so much complexity and nuance in it that it is hard to describe unless you've experienced it yourself.

As for it being a coping thing, I've heard some people say its a result of not being able to trust people due to past trauma, but i dont believe that's necessarily true for the majority of people and not too good to generalize. Ive grown up surronded by friends and in a loving environment and am able to maintain relationships with living people, but also use the label of objectum because it makes me comfortable.

I can very much see how someone can look at someone saying theyre attracted to objects and just cringe a little bit and thats okay LOL. At this point, I have been exposed to so many concepts -being online so much and surrounded by so many diverse people- that i just dont even pay it mind. But, I know a lot of people have literally never heard of this label before and are just weirded out by it. I think honestly people need to think about the limitless potential a relationship can be when in the hands of such a complex being as a human. At the end of the day though, it doesn't hurt anyone but its also okay to be a lil unsure of it as an outsider. Just be kind to others!!

Im sorry if this is a bit of word vomit, if u cant tell i got a lil too into it & my thoughts tend to be rlly scattered LOL. thank u 4 the ask & plz let me know if u need any clarity on anythin cuz i know i am very hard to follow at times !!!

[mayxo-hxh]

extremely specific queer hisoillu ramblings & hcs. question prompt was: How and when do you think Hisoillu found out they were queer?

i worked around the demi hc so for both of them.

For Hisoka I think it was obvious to him that he wasnt even close to cis and he knew he wouldve felt more comfortable generally being perceived as a man instead of a woman (i hc him transmasc) most of the time despite liking feminine stuff anyways.

TW FOR TRANSPHOBIA:

i do think kid hisoka, who very much first presented as a lil guy before his chest grew out, had heard multiple slurs thrown at him and was definitely physically and mentally abused for liking "feminine things" when he looked like a boy. and for the very short period of time where he grew a chest and saw the fact that his chest suddenly had him being called a girl no matter what.

its when it clicked with him that "normal" societal cis standards are absolute fucking bullshit and that hes gonna be whatever he fucking wanted. He actually didn't care about having a chest until they grew to their full size and he just naturally grew to dislike /always/ having them yknow. if he had the option to take them on and off when he felt like it, he'd go for it. (hehe. bungee boobs after top surgery)

That was for his trans realization. For his sexuality, well. I think he just thought he never liked people in the first place so sexuality was something he was extremely indifferent to. He saw ppl in love and heard of what they do when theyre in love and he was like. "yeah absolutely fucking not thats not for me. not even close" and the thought of sex just disgusted him because he can never imagine being this intimate with some random person (considering he literally had 0 people in his life that were even considered friends until illumi) i think its obvious. who his awakening was lmfao

illumis was basically, he knew he did not conform to cis standards and that was that. he didnt rlly think of any labels or any possibilities, he just did not give a fuck whether he was called this or that and knew he sometimes wished he was. neither. nothing at all. and his parents had no restrictions on his representation when he started to branch out and discover what he liked to present as (after his short hair teen days)

TW FOR ARO/ACEPHOBIA (probably)

mw for sexuality. same thing as hisoka basically. he knew he was gonna "have to" marry someone someday because this was the "normal" and what his parents expected but he just felt 0 attraction to anyone and everyone around him. he had a period where he thought it was normal to not feel attraction and people just put up with each other for the sake of either procreation or not living alone, then he thought he was broken because he realized akshually his parents DO love each other very much and hes the "abnormal" one.

unfortunately i dont think hes the type to realize that whatever he had going on for him was normal and completely fine, he was just extremely relieved when he realized he wasn't "broken" when he felt attracted to hisoka. but it probably took him a while to realize it was actual. yknow. that type of attraction. especially since illumi probably never formed any connections to anyone outside his family so when he did start feeling stuff with hisoka it was probably first brushed off as well. oh maybe this is normal when ure friends with someone haha. no illumi not in your case at least

basically in terms of sexuality, theyre the same but perceived their situation in complete opposite ways. Hisoka was completely fine with the thought of being alone but it freaked Illumi out 😭

[natashasbitxh]

regarding what ppl have said about shayne & chanse appearing closer recently or seeming like they were kinda awkward/dodgey at first, it makes sense that shayne would be more timid(?) considering how outwardly confident chanse is, BUT i never really see anyone talk about how it could be the same for chanse as well. chanse has mentioned in a video (i dont remember which) that he gets kinda intimidated by quiet people, because they seem 'too cool' & there is a instagram live where he says that shayne is 'so quiet' . so it could be that! also, am i the only one that doesnt see chanse as an extrovert?? i DO see shaynse as the socially awkward x social butterfly trope , but i still dont think chanse is extroverted. i think he genuinely is just so charismatic with good social skills, i dont see him *getting* energy from talking to people. anyway 🫡 im new round these parts.. just lurkin about 🫥

oooo yh interesting point!!

I either wasn't aware or forgot abt Chanse saying those things so that's so interesting!! Cause if Chanse himself acc said SHAYNE was so quiet...like that rlly connects

I partially agree! I'm a big fan of socially awkward X social butterfly shaynse, but I can understand why you'd say he's not extroverted.

Maybe more an ambivert? Because I can imagine him loving being around ppl and being energised by it but maybe sometimes he isn't? Idk😭 But yh, he rlly is charismatic with good social skills FOR SURE!

WELCOME!!! Hope u enjoy it around here!!

[her-canine-teeth]

maybe by flower face - notes

Im sorry abt the blocks of text in the middle omg it was NOT supposed to be this long but im citing ppl! very exciting.

STILL WITH COLOURS but now its harder to explain bc its not pov; theyre being talked to. so im gonna just keep the original colours from the planning doc (wich is mostly who is shown rn)

jackie blue, shauna red

You cut so deep but

she cuts herself. p obvious i think. but its not only physical (more or less) but also jackies words (in the context of the whole scene)

I’ve always loved you deeper

1we know cannibalism is a sign of love (at least i think everyone whos found my edits does. idk the fanom rlly apart from tumblr). shauna has always loved jackie (even though she doesnt know it), through the years of feeling inferior to jackie (until the end). 2jackie cuts herself to give to shauna but its like more outer layer ig? anyways shauna eats like. her whole or at least not 5 cm flesh

Those voices in your hallway, if you let her in,

sort of resembles a hallway//obvsly th hallucinations started before she ate the ear but it was like the start of the hungry thing

You’ve gotta keep her

love the eye thingy omg. same as above

who’ve you been talking to

more like 'what have u done' but u get the picture

What do they want you to do?

also like. obsvious i think

Baby, I’m afraid you’ve been reckless with my heart

NOW jackie is talking. no more 3rd person narrator.

anyways yeah i dont rlly know what to explain here. she tore the last connection jackie had to their friendship and uh @amygobrrr said it better than I could rn

bc "Shauna was supposed to be the one person who truly loved her. The one person who loved Jackie, not as a soccer captain (like the team did), or as just a girl (like her boyfriend did), or as the mirage of perfect daughter (like her parents did), but loved her as her, as Jackie. Shauna's journal reveals even that to be a lie. [...]

Jackie is hurt, not over Jeff—though he provides her with a convenient excuse to the others—but over what Shauna being willing to sleep with him says to her about how Shauna must view their friendship. Shauna has told her that love and friendship don't matter. The romantic love Jackie knew she didn't feel for Jeff, the romantic love she believed Shauna didn't feel for her, and the platonic love she believed Shauna did; none of them mattered, none of them ever existed. [...]

Jackie is, at this point [the arguing scene], totally convinced that no scrap even of the friendship she was so desperately clinging to really exists. Everything she feels for Shauna is unrequited—everything except, of course, the anger and the hurt."¹

anyways thats why she died

While i was sleeping you slipped in and burst apart

sleeping = death. thats my humor. bursting apart references the panic yk sorta

God knows i love you so, but i won’t be your ghost

(^ thats not wjat ure hungry for is sorta love to me. idk why but i always have to think of that. one day im gonna analyse that)

ghost/hallucination idk. jackie tells her 'what? actually, you dont know. [my death] was totally ur fault'. shes not formless, passive, not just like hanging there (obviously its more shaunas pov as shes the one imagining the whole thing. so its shauna making jackie reject her again? (nvm the 'but we were just children' rn) maybe bc its because thats the most prominent memory shauna has of jackie; being rejected constantly. bc of jeff, bc of her giving her attention to other ppl, by telling her what to wear etc and therefore directly rejecting a part of shauna herself.

in her hallucinations jackie is way more like sharp and mean sorta; thats how shauna remembers her. this is how she lives on in her memory; for shauna, jackie is saying: im not yours, i never was and i never will be, even after death. even when literally nobody else can see me (REGARDING THE LYRIC. NOT THE ACTUAL TEXT i should probably say this.) doesnt matter if that is how jackie really was/felt about shauna bc thats not what it is about. not anymore, not for a long time; its about how shauna sees jackie, and herself through jackie. jackie doestn exist anymore; shes a mere mirror through which shauna sees a distorted version of herself whcih she attributes to jackie. (i feel like i should make a post abt this (esp bc you can reverse the whole thing) if somebody is rreading this (hi) pls tell me if i shouldd)

You’re the one who’s in my body ripping at the seams

(still jackie talking like vo style) I LOVE THIS its about shauna living jackies life. she lives the normal, homecoming-queen, married-her-hs-sweetheart life, not the went-to-brown life. instead of jackie - bc she 'killed' jackie (for the sake of this symbolism). thats shes in her body is a bit more extreme than that shes just living her life but like i get it? she has assumed jackies role, she literally married jackies boyfriend. shes not living a live similar to the one jackie wouldve led, but literally living her life.

but its ripping. bc shauna is not jackie (but fundamentally different.) shes not the normal housewife; if its only bc she cheats or her violent tendencies (outright murder) or her past alone. stuff thats like bigger than jackies body? idk how to say that. rabbits dont symbolize that but they remind me of like innocence almost? childlike maan idk how to say that but stuff that shauna is decidedly not; stuff that jackie probably would be. to me, it shows the difference; shaunas assumed life vs her real self. shes keeping the ceramic rabbits, shes keeping them, shes trying but shes still sb else. its not her life, it was never supposed to be

You’re the one who’s crashing on the highways in my dreams

(now shauna is talking) the bridge has aways been symbolic with dreams for me. probably bc its night there idk anyways jackie is haunting shauna, similar to a nightmare. when she turns jackies gone; it becomes abundantly clear that its not real, its a dream but shes still dead

maybe i won’t, maybe i will

yeah. maybe shell stay outside, maybe shell come inside

haven’t slept so easy since you left me in the wild

rlly love this bc technically shauna left jackie outside, in the wild. and she didnt sleep that well out there (she died). BUT i love it more to interpret this as 'jackie went outside, jackie died and left shauna alone to spiral into madness or something close to.' also shauna hasnt slept that easy after tbh

I wish i could have loved you right

bet she does wish that. bc they loved each other! they really, obviously did. but they (here shauna) didnt know how to do it right;

but i was just a child

(which makes sense consiering their circumstances etc). and they were children and like its normal to make mistakes and idk its probably not that normal to cheat on ur bff with her boyfriend but the point is children make mistakes. only normally they dont die for it. and i dont think shauna was cheating on jeff for jeff but for jackie (which is like. wildly popular thought (?)(has to be bc ive heart of it lol) so i dont think i have to explain it much) (or at all rlly) bc she wanted jackie and the only way she could have her was by getting with her boyfriend (the only person with which she was physically sort of closer than shauna). smell jackie on him and pretend its her etcetc

maybe I won’t, maybe I will

she was with jeff, she is with jeff, but in the same way jackie was and is still with her.

Run back to you

always (shows the progression, jackies always there frfr)

There’s something dark inside me and i can’t get it out

violence etc; its obviously still in her adult years

My thoughts ring in your voice now and i can’t make a sound

like i said above. shauna projects her thoughts onto jackie

You loved me holy with your cross and your disease

eating=holy??maybe. cross stands for faith; technically christian faith but it says YOUR cross and its a heart so its their faith into each other. disease bc idk made sense in my mind

Did you feel that close to god when you had me on my knees?

actually not sure abt that one; either its jackie asking: shaunas finally standing her ground, being bigger than jackie, confronting her and jackie is subdued (on her knees)

OR its shauna asking (in the context of the argument) if jackie ever felt that close to god when she idk put shauna under herself?? how do i word this (in shaunas pov) and jackie responding 'what? no'

If you don’t love me now, well then we all go down

if shauna doesnt go outside to get jackie inside then theyll succumb to cannibalism. and jackie dies (which is what happens, bc shauna does not 'love her now'

I’m your sweetest parasite, you fill me up with pesticide

shauna still loves jackie. think thats clear somewhat. (=sweet) jackie basically nests herself in shaunas brain, wont let her go (=parasite). pesticide doesnt refer as much as like. 'go away fuck u parasite' but, U GUESSED IT, the words that jackie says. bc she doestn actually say them (bc shes dead); thats shaunas doing.

bleed me Baby, gemini, hurt me til you feel all right

she bleeds. she loves her. idk what else to do. she does tell her; twist: shauna still is very much not alright

and i won’t, no, i won’t

she wont

You got into my head and now i’ll never be the same

'parasite'; as we see the violent tendencies have carried on into the adult life. also I rlly like her look here I think it rlly captures the essence of what i was trying to say

My trigger finger twitches every time i hear your name

well she does look uneasy

And maybe I won’t, maybe I will

maybe

Run back to you

literally spends the rest of the song running back to her. BUT ITS NOT RLLY HER OMG

you can find the edit here

¹whole cited post

[nururu]

Part of my issues involve abandonment. If I dump my shit on ppl, they abandon me. I'm living in survival mode 100% of the time. I dont continue to do things that have been the catalyst for my past abandonment/abuse. I learn quickly how to ppl please and shut away huge parts of myself so I dont ruin the vibe or give people ammo to abuse me with or whatever. I isolated myself into a near grave, only lived bc I learned how to love myself (pretty much detached "me" from "myself" and now "I" take care of "them") and created a small world for myself that no ones allowed in, where I can exist freely and happily without being hated for everything I do all the time. This is another reason I write my stuff on tumblr and come to no one about it and give no deeper info when ppl ask. I downplay absolutely everything I go through and am ALWAYS okay. Even when I'm not. I have forced myself into constant dissociation so I'm not affected by anything. Rlly the only time i get a moment with my emotions is right in the beginning of the morning and that can be a good positive connection, or negative. It depends. But halfway through the day I naturally fall into dissociation and have zero contact with my emotions, and hardly any contact with my thoughts. Halfway through saying anything, I forget what I'm saying, the topic, whatever. Usually my sentences end unfinished bc I dont even know what I'm talking about. I was bullied, isolated, and abused by my entire family my entire childhood. I was the youngest by 5yrs and my existence and uniqueness and quirks were a burden to be abused out of me. To be shamed for. Anything unique about me. Anything that made me smile and made me happy was shunned and shut down. I was constantly ignored and interrupted on a daily basis. Now I try so hard..... I try sososodosososooooo hard to give other ppl what I lacked, bc I sooooo desperately want that in return. That's all i want.... i want to be able to laugh super loud like i do when I'm alone, and not be hated for it. I want to be able to say more than 1 sentence before i feel like i sound stupid or annoying. I want to stop half whispering and mumbling when I talk. But I stopped being proud of my theater voice and now no one stops me and tells me I'm being too loud... they just constantly say "huh?" now. Which is fine I guess bc I wasnt put on this earth to be heard. But instead to hear. Maybe... idk I try to make it okay by changing my perspective and maybe thinking this is just some kind of fateful position decided by the gods. My place in life. And maybe I should be grateful. Also pls..... tumblr is my safe space to vent. It has been consistently since I made it in 2013. I say what I say on tumblr to no one for a reason. It's nice to talk without and feedback.

[pumpkinsy0]

Pakistani Steve hcs 🇵🇰😚

OoOoOo never rlly hear about this one before but ill bite!!! as always pls do correct me if i say somethin wrong!!

•he loves seekh kebab, he like rarely has it tho, his dad doesnt cook it allat much, or at all rlly

•id say johnny and steve have a lil bit to bond over, and one of them is being south asian!! ppl usually gloss over that fact and kinda downplays how much that rlly connects them

•theres not a lot he remembers about his mom, but he does remember the henna she would have on her hands sometimes

•yknow what, y not, lets say he was born and raised in Islamabad but moved to the us

•considering he used to live in pakistan if im not wrong, usually ppl eat w their hands??? id say soda does it w him sometimes to test it out and that means a lot to steve, especially bc soda is like, seen as thee american pretty boy, steve feels like maybe he wont b seen as an outcast completely??? i hope u get what im saying here</33

•look, he DID know urdu, but theres rlly no other pakistani ppl around where he lives so hes kinda forgetting it??? he cant speak it that fluently anymore, hes gonna hesitate a bit, but he can understand u, hes just rusty

•politeness and hospitality r pretty important in pakistani culture as far as ik, so i can def see lil steve trying to b on his best behavior w the curtis parents and as he got more and more comfortable w em, thats when he started to let loose

•religion wise, i dont see him being religious, i dont rlly see any version of steve being religious honestly, but maybe he does do somethings from Islam tho

•let him wear his shalwar kameez, ik he got ts on, wore that thing like one time in front of the gang and didnt do it again, not bc the gang was mean, he just, idk didnt wanna wear it again in front of em at least

•his favorite memories from pakistan prolly came from the Basant festivals he rarely went to, he loved the kites he would see and he would join in sometimes, his kites werent the best but it was fun for him

[sojutrait]

warning this is a long one lmao

i tried once and failed spectacularly and never tried again 😭😭😭

ive just been letting the toddlers run wild bc i imagine two werewolves wouldnt be helicopter parents and its honestly sm less stressful 😭😭 like yeah go splash in the toilet and have fun

hmm like sims aesthetic? idk really its kinda all over the place djfkf id just say nondescript cartoon-yness lmao. and most of my inspo is from real life!

ty! like i dont want it to seem like im a saint and totally exempt from fucking up but i would hope it would be clear that id never intentionally whitewash a sim, thats quite counterintuitive of literally everything i preach

thats what its giving atp 😭😭

PREMONITIONS youre right, i shouldve forced my mom to birth me early so i could properly do my research for ts2 😩😩

honestly!! ive tried to play both ts2 and ts3 since joining simblr but i literally Can Not, plus the millions of fixes that go in to ensuring they both work properly, it shouldnt come as a surprise to people that the majority of current simmers are only familiar with ts4

dkjfkfd thats the consensus everyone is coming to but i dont remember last summer being this bad 😭😭 it fully couldve been tho that was before i ever left my simblr bubble lmao

thank you sm!! ily2 🥺🥺💖💖

thank you!! like i am not an ea employee plz cut me some slack 😭😭 and im glad u like my dina🥺🥺 just gonna tweak her a bit to make her more like her previous iterations !

thank you!! and omg that is so exciting, good luck on ur legacy challenge! 💖💖

i am autistic so i rlly dont know wtf theyre talking about in regards to my tone, i just think im speaking normally lmao. and i wholeheartedly agree with what u said about black simmers, ive def seen other black simmers get the same hate and vitriol over their tone and its sick, and then everyone wonders why ppl leave and simblr “dies”, like its bc yall make it inhospitable

i love both of those things so ty sm! 🥺💖💖

thank you!! i’m doing okay, ty for checking in 🥺💖💖

DJKDFK ty! i honestly didnt think id get so attached to the dog people either 😭😭

NO SAME i forget im not like 16 anymore 😭😭 i recently came to the realization that its techinally legal for weird older men to hit on me and i havent known peace since ✋

i actually considered that! or adding that werewolf girl i made in cas a couple days ago bc im so attached to all of them sjddk the thing is id have to human-ify them bc the halabis are set in the boring real world 

TYY shes my fave townie of all time so ofc i had to do my girl justice 😌😌

thank u 🤧🤧❤❤❤

ACTUALLY when i was playing in that save i literally thought damn now i wanna play with ulrike and dina 😭😭 so maybe so 👁

this is so sweet omfg thank you sm 😭😭❤❤ im so glad ollie brings you comfort, shes one of my fave sims of all time for that same reason so its good to hear other ppl connect with her the same 🥺🥺 and omg sometimes i forget she has the klepto trait until she tries to steal shit 😭😭

[saintobio]

Hi Saint! 👋 I hope you're doing good

Ok, blimey, SN was a rollercoaster of emotions but I absolutely loved it! You write amazingly!

My thoughts. Y/N has all the right to be p*ssed off with Gojo. She has all the right to separate and live her life. She's not obliged to stick around and "fix" Gojo. But, big BUT, she had no right to keep their son from him. Was Gojo an arsehole, heck yeh. But he was really trying after the first divorce incident and nanas death. He was stupid for the house thing and not just being honest when trying to fix their relationship. I think that Y/N is going to feel like absolute shite when she finds out that Gojo tried to unalive himself when he thought she got rid of the baby. And now the accident because he realised he was alive this whole time!

Gen and their dad, wasn't a great idea to support hiding the munchkin from Gojo. Yes protect your daughter and sister, but you're making her do some silly things.

Now saying all of that, I'm going to counter myself 😅 I can somewhat get why Y/N would have wanted to get as far away from Gojo. Especially holding on the beginning part of their marriage. Then to hear his stupidity at the end would have brought up the previous thoughts. As a woman, I may do the same to protect my child (maybe not exactly the same tbh... lol I still don't like that Y/N hid this from Gojo for 3 flaming years!). I can see she was trying to protect herself and her child, but it wasn't a great way imo.

In the same way, I get Gen and why she may have supported this. As an older sister, I'm a surrogate mother to my siblings and can be protective.

Right this was too long. I'm sorry 😅 don't even know if I made any sense whatsoever.

My main ask was going to be: may I get permission to write a mini one shot type scenario based on the last chapter? I was so wound up in my emotions after reading the last chapter, I had all sorts of thoughts and ideas that I'd like to jot down and share. But only with your permission! X

hahah it’s very conflicting right ?? i love how ur analysis on it tho :) and yess you may write a oneshot as long as i get tagged <33 looking forward to it !!

@hollowpurpl said

I'm not blaming y/n for keeping the baby then hiding it. Yes, it is true that my heart aches because satoru didn't get to cry in joy after the baby was born, but what matters is the munchkin is alive. It would burn me more if the lil munchkin died. Besides, it was the most selfish thing y/n has done in a while. I can't hate her. Her ex-husband was a selfish cheating asshole. I understand that satoru wanted to change but, he's not that deserving to have an expressway to happy ever after. It's just karma (or saint) doing its job.

For toji, i think he won't have the audacity to cheat on y/n because of gen and the kids like hello??? But i do think mc just reminds him of his wife, that's why he wants to marry her. (This shit hurts so much because im a toji fucker)

And im sorry for sending lots of asks. I just love sn so much i cried when i didn't get on the sincerely yours taglist.

Drink your water and eat veggies saint! Every sn reader is praying to u ❤���

Anonymous said

Y/n keeping munchkin from gojo makes so much sense to me. She just prioritised her child's health and happiness more than theirs IT WAS LITERALLY THE BEST THING TO DO IN THAT SITUATION AND PPL WHO HATE HER FOR DOING IT CLEARLY DONT KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT LIKE????? imagine a child growing up in the kind of negative publicity that surrounded gojo post the scandal... yeah no. she did the right thing definitely and I rlly hope she knows that :((

Anonymous said

I think some people forget that soulmates who don’t end up together can fall in love with someone else. Granted the connection won’t be as deep as with their twin flame, but it’s not impossible to love again. Tbh I don’t care if gojo x uhtamie happen, Toji x y/n or gojo x y/n. I just think it’s unfair that her hiding her pregnancy is going to hunt her ten fold. I really like that she didn’t hide from munchkin who her real daddy is though. Mad respect for that.

Anonymous said

Omg I’ve been dying to send an ask in! First off congratulations on sn1, it was amazing!! Okie, I’m sorry for all the upcoming grammar mistakes lmao, but I need to write it before I forget x.x Over the past few days I analyzed both y/n and gojo’s situation. I’ve seen how most people are upset with y/n for depriving Gojo 3 years of his sons life and thinking he “killed” his baby, and some agree that y/n made the right call faking the abortion. I was just shocked at how quick people switch sides instead of analyzing both parties. I remained neutral.

I do agree that her depriving him from the birth of his son and making him believe that he was at fault was wrong, but did the readers take a step back and think how his past consequences drove her to do it? It hurts that Gojo never got to tell his side of the story, and now with amnesia probably never will, but it also hurts knowing that y/n was treated horribly throughout most of their marriage. Yes, he had a lovely redemption arc, but the thing about Gojo and y/n is that although they’re soulmates, they’re badly flawed. He had this ideal dream family, but didn’t know the current y/n. Just bits and pieces. He was more familiar with the little girl he was best friends with, whom he made a promise too. Y/n suffered a lot the first few months in their marriage, which causes her to start having trust issues, and clearly those trust issues were still rooted just untouched. In my honest opinion, seeing as to how badly flawed they both are, if there was no divorce, munchkin would be the only thing that would tie them together. I’m sorry this was long :’) also hoped this made sense.

Also, I noticed something. You said the zenin family is y/nxToji, but everyone else is GojoxY/n. Does that mean Gen has forgiven Gojo? 😟

nooo gen hasn’t. i take back what i said. very few people in the snverse are rooting for gojoxyn 🥲

Anonymous said

imo, I think y/n had a good enough reason to hide munchkin from Satoru. BUT y/n should have told Satoru when she had the chance, when he came to see her.

Anonymous said

Yooooooooo I sad .

Because I don’t know who’s in the wrong in the SN finale ?? Like I get each of Y/N’s and Satoru’s feelings and mistakes and whatnot, but now at what cost? While I definitely believe Satoru is much to blame for actions to Y/N, his past and how he was brought up shaped him that way, yet he was able to change; and he’s even worse for wear?? And even now Y/N, who’s suffered so much and very much doesn’t owe Satoru anything (besides telling the truth of baby Gojo), will have to go through this again???

there’s really a huge divide among the readers bc some people understand yn’s pov (like u guys in this case) while some choose to side w gojo for good reasons. but all in all, thank u for sharing ur reactions <33 it allows me to understand how people are reading into the series and i’m glad that most of my readers are still looking at this story with depth

[vyl3tpwny]

parasocial relationships

something i never thought i'd deal with was having ppl form parasocial relationships with me, i thought maybe i wouldn't be cool enough or interesting enough for that, but whateveer.

it's such a complicated subject, because it takes the form of many different nuances. and this problem has gotten so much worse in the past year alone, given that more people are hearing about me and choosing to support me and interact with me and my work.

i'm heavily introverted, reclusive, and really know who my friends are. sometimes i'll meet new ppl and thats cool and sometimes i'll vibe with one or two and thats cool. but that's my own accord, it's a two way thing. a lot of the times i'll respond to someone's inquiry or comment because i want to try and acknowledge them and then suddenly they're talking to me like we're best friends. sometimes i'll try and be helpful or attentive to someone and then they'll start pushing boundaries, asking personal questions, and acting like i'm a bad person for giving them short responses or no reply at all. sometimes i will have worked with someone or interacted with someone who's supported me and because of that connection, they start to treat our casual acquaintanceship with each other as something that can be exploited — used as a way to talk to me all the time. sometimes i wont even interact with someone and i'll find them writing love letters to me or writing really stupidly, parasocially inappropriate things in my comments sections and replies. in all cases, i'm uncomfortable.

i have a lot of messages to answer every day, and it takes a lot of energy and willpower for someone like me to respond and be attentive. ive fallen into states of depression for just trying to bring myself to answer people sometimes. and through all of that, ppl find themselves spamming my inbox with things and pushing my boundaries, ignoring my statuses, and sometimes even mocking me for expressing in some way that i dont want to talk.

and its especially hard when there are people who connect a lot with my music and the things i convey through my work. because sometimes it feels like i've helped them a lot, they begin to think of it as a direct interaction and so on and so forth.

my brain can't handle it.

and i don't know what to do. sometimes it comes from someone who's supporting me and i dont want to be rude, or sometimes it comes from someone i may have interacted with more frequently in the past. but i honestly can't handle this at all. i want to be a nice person and i want to be reasonable and helpful.

another thing that rlly stresses me out is when ppl's only interaction with me is spamming my inbox with shitposts. like, i get it, i love funny things and i love being weird. but 1.) again i need a lott of energy to answer messages so when i finally muster myself and just see a gif sitting there i get so anxious and whatever 2.) i really would prefer not to be only "internet funny person" to someone.

sometimes it's hard esp if the other person doesn't really understand what they're doing. and i feel bad expressing "hey can you stop talking to me it stresses me out" because i dont know how to disengage from people without coming off as dismissive. so i just end up ignoring a lot of messages or coming off as short anyway.

im just dumping my thoughts out here. but this has been really affecting me a lot the past two years, and especially within the last 6 months. idk if i'm going to just have to concede being nice to everyone or what. its just really breaking my mental health.

[limerancy-fics]

Anonymous asked: okay !! there was like a leak in 2.2 where xiao tells the traveller that their music helps with his karmic debt also, so maybe it wasn’t always a venti thing but a music thing ?? Do you have any thoughts on how it would affect xiao’s lore in the future?

— *sigh* it's to be expected. they're probably not gonna have venti n xiao interact at all actually n just be like "oh the traveler saves him :)" bc the traveler has to save everyone n everyone has to be in love w them ig.....it feels like shallow writing....it takes away from the weight of xiao's dream n the moment in the marsh, and the thing saying "his memory is only preserved in the glow of guyun n the sound of the dihua flute" etc. if ANYONE could have saved xiao w ANY music.....then why was it venti? why was it an archon? is xiao incorrect thinking only one of the seven could have saved him? why didn't anyone help him sooner? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE HELP HIM SOONER??????

i feel like it being venti is actually rlly important for both of their characters n stories...like xiao having this connection to the god of freedom, who isn't the god he serves, who saved him one day, when no one else would. or could. esp since xiao believes he can never be free, so it's like?????? that connection seems like it should be important for his story in the future????? if it doesn't come into play, why have it be venti in the first place? why not have it be another adeptus? or smthn?

n for venti, it shows what the glider story tells us: he doesn't like seeing ppl in pain. he wants to use his music to heal the hurts of the world. n who is hurting more in that moment than this adeptus burdened by a karmic debt and divine hatred that never should have been his? this yaksha who had his wings taken from him? who's chained to the earth and believes he can never be free, but his deepest wish is to be at peace? to not fight? to be gentle once more? why else would venti have been there, if he hadn't heard the wish for freedom and relief in xiao's heart? n how much does it tell us abt venti that he WAS there? when no one else was? he had absolutely no obligation to help xiao, a being who isn't from his nation or even residing in it, but he DID.

tldr: mhy is probably gonna backpedal so hard on xiao's story n we're probably never gonna see xiao n venti interact or even hear abt it, bc the traveler has to fix everything all by themselves n no one else can help anyone, now (yes, im salty abt it. dont come to me if ur mad that i am, u'll just be ignored)

Anonymous asked: exactlyyyy im saving like 😭😭😭😭 why have venti in his story and name card and voiceline AT ALL if youre just going to reduce him into a shell of a character just for harem purposes… i feel like a lot of characters get that treatment lately, like how both ayaka and kokomi was already head over heels for us when its super out of character for them to be T_T its like the original writers for xiao left and someone else is taking over and doing all of the rewriting to make more money bc xiao is so beloved ? i dont remember diluc or zhongli or kaeya being treated like this its really strange. But it made more sense when you realize xiaoaether n xiaolumi are the 2nd most popular ship on bilibili besides Chili/ZhongChi

it's FRUSTRATING bc it's exactly like u said. they'd hollowing him out to a tsundere harem prettyboy w the hots for the main character bc having characters care abt someone other than the mc is like....terrible for business ig.......seems like genshin is turning toward the "who gives a fuck abt story, what makes the most money" mindset n it's.......ugh. not everyone should or will be in love w the mc!!! at this point, what has mc done for xiao other than give him salad, tell him rex lapis is dead, fight osial, and hang out w him for a bit during his character quest??? w someone like xiao, i feel like that's rlly not enough for him to get attached to someone like.......wtf

i like characters who aren't falling at the mc's feet, bc that's interesting! that makes the story an actual story! it creates diverse dynamics between characters! but NOOOOO everyone else has to be in love w mc n can't care abt another character bc that doesn't make money, ig

it's cowardly, it's bullshit, it's bad writing, it's shallow, it's lacking passion. genshin had SO much passion, like u could tell the writers cared n wanted to tell this good story but now it's like...........whoever is writing now doesn't give a shit (how much u wanna bet they didn't want to release 2.1 as early as they did n got fired, then had shit ppl take over who got it out "on time" but sacrificed the actual story to do it..........)

n i'm not even saying this as a xiaoven shipper (honestly, i don't think they'd do it well anyway, so i'd prefer if it doesn't become canon at this point), i'm saying this as an author n as someone studying character and narrative. it's bad. it's inconsistent. it's jumbled. it's trying to pave over holes by creating new ones. at least give him enough development to make it believable, mhy

Anonymous asked: oh my god i'm so tried of genshin's writing, it's just becoming more and more fanservicey and i hate it, i've been meaning to delete genshin on my phone because i find the game so boring and repetitive and any fun i had left disappeared because of community drama, it's so disappointing, I was there when genshin was announced!! I remember how hyped the Honkai subreddit was for a new MiHoYo game!! I downloaded it the first day it came out!! i reached ar 20 in less then a week!! I was excited for this game!!! I loved it!!! And now I don't, i can't play it anymore, i dont even want to wait for hutao, im so tried of this game, im sorry for dumping this on you, i just need to let it out

no, i get it. i don't even rlly play anymore. i got my faves to friendship lvl 10, i finished mond, liyue, dragonspine, the 1st half of inazuma. but since 2.1, it's almost become unbearable. characters have no depth, the story is shallow n uninteresting, and the world is starting to get v....lacking. it's repetitive. it's boring. it's getting so fanservicey, like u said. maybe it's corporate greed. maybe it's demands of the players. who knows. but it's getting worse every update, it seems, n i'm not rlly feelin the game anymore (i'm taking my faves n running they're mine now mhy can't touch them)

Anonymous asked: Honestly I'm glad more people are speaking up about how shitty the current writing direction is. It's a shame some people took too much offense (probably because they self inserted themselves as mc) and harrased other people for not liking the obvious fanservice, when everyone has a right to have opinions. And good writing in exchange of seeing ur favs act all cute and pester you isn't a good exchange in the first place, but hey if people enjoy it that's fine. I think my expectations also got pretty high because the way you write genshin characters feel more alive and in depth than the canon ones 😭😭😭 sorry for the rant lol

KAJNFAKJS no honestly like i get it.....it's a lil frustrating bc i put so much time n effort n thought into my characterizations for EVERYONE, n it seems like the actual writers have just....stopped doing that.....like they write like they don't understand nor care abt the characters.

fanservicey dating game type things are fine! they're fun! but not when the game is marketed as something else, is started as something else, is written as something else until suddenly it's not. that's just...inconsistency n alienating the part of ur audience that isn't interested or didn't start the game for that kind of thing.

which like...ok they're not obligated to do anything the audience wants, but it's also just.......lazy. shallow. a cop out. like they're throwing away the first part of the game to make it smthn else, even tho it seems like traveler had TRIED to say no n do their own thing n find their sibling, like they actually had agency n personality for a second, at the beginning of 2.0, n i was all excited for that moment in smftw, bc it felt like a turning point! a change! the start of a downhill snowball that would've been so interesting to see! but mc has just been reverted back to a blank slate to project on, which kinda sucks? like why even start giving them personality if ur just gonna get rid of it again.......

(maybe that's why, bc ppl got mad traveler started to actually be a character rather than just self insert 😶) n now even the other characters are just getting flattened like little paper men

[oceantail-oceantail]

[ feel free to ignore !! just felt like yelling into a void <3 ]

idk how to explain it but the way illumina expresses being bi is sooo special to me like. with most lgbt ccs its like a Fact in my mind that they're lgbt you know? like its always there. but, like, with illu i just sort of. very much 100% forget most of the time? idk. it's weird cause lots of dsmp fans seem to only know illu as like. one of The Bisexuals^tm and he definitely isn't like. hiding it or whatever. but it's just like i can keep having these sudden nice moments of realisation where i'm like!! oh!! my streamer 🤝 me yknow? i always thought the people who were all "i like lgbt ppl who are just normal ppl and dont flaunt it!!!" were lame n i didn't get it but. he's just a dude <3 (not to be a dig @ ccs who Are super loud about being lgbt n stuff. like eret and scott are absolutely some of my favs but like. idk i guess like? gosh this is so parasocial. but i feel weirdly connected to Just A Guy who's lgbt bc like. living closeted in a homophobic country it just feels more realistic maybe. idk. it makes me rlly happy either way idk like. brings me a ton of comfort as someone who doesn't rlly get that comfort from the more loudly lgbt ccs :) that's all <3)

[i put down my lunch to read and answer this ask, im so glad im a void to be yelled into <3]

I TOTALLY AGREE and i totally relate to your moments of realization of my streamer 🤝 me it's so great! and i totally get what you mean about how he's not really someone broadcasts being lgbt, (with all my love to eret, scott, ant, etc. i love them too as well) but it's a different Kind of appreciation, ya know??

something that really made me really ahkjskafka /affectionate was a clip of him in early 2019 when he said quote "“I would say like- I’m more… I don’t know, I don’t what I’m trying to say. I don’t think I’m straig- I think I’m more bi than straight….but I dont know…”

and then cut to him coming out a year later in the most illumina way possible and making the occasional im gay jokes on stream and changing his minecraft skin to have a rainbow sash on it like

he's so wonderful and i appreciate him very much

[wooahaes]

(why does it have me so soft that you thought of me fhhjfh i'm easily moved lol but i rlly like talking to you) thank you sm<3 i'm doing better! I'm struggeling a bit with my health rn but I also have a big ass essay to write and it's just A Lot but I'm sure I'll manage!! I'll just speak it into existence lol

hgjfhgj omg that fight thing is so cute but I can picture it so well for them T-T also on the topic of dino - because of his nickname i always have to think of him when i see adorable otter content now. Like, I'll be seeing stuff like this and my brain goes :( dino :(

"pick a god and pray" is probably the best one ever across any of the games honestly. I also love Jakobs crit lines in fate he's so sassy "time to take out the trash" "you are excused" "you're about to be served" - what a legend IKR like. claude?? please be a little more subtle about your thirsting

okay but catching cheol feelings over writing UtS is absolutely valid. as someone who is cheol biased lemme just say the way you write him in UtS? perfection. i have way too many feels for this man and your writing makes me love him even more T-T

saame i love that petty drama queen. oh god seungkwan would have the best quotes in battle fdjhfjs

I'm so sorry about your fucked up sleeping schedule but I'm glad you at least found a way to deal with the pain >_<

good thing you're a little better over all<3

aaaa i get the same way tbh!! ppl dont rly think of me often i dont think but when they do it means a lot and im always emotional as a result <3

i'm glad you're doing better!! i hope ur health struggles aren't too bad and that u do well on ur essay!! that reminds me i have a discussion board post i need to do but i have time lol im fine w doing it a lil late

(link is safe for anyone who wants to click on it <3)

stop thts so cute omg <3 i would like to also share tht chan always holds hands w reader when he sleeps bc he just likes being connected to them in some way (and usually someone else wants to cuddle too so he'll at least hold hands w them bc cuddling is nice. which isnt to say chan doesn't have times where he just wants to keep reader to himself--he just doesnt want to be possessive and keep them from cuddling w the others if they want) and i imagine it's probably jeonghan who looks at them and he's like wow... just like otters since they hold hands when they sleep to keep from drifting ykno. honestly he probably holds hands w anyone but esp reader lol

LITERALLY its such a powerful line i love quoting it casually lol also im not a huge fan of jakob as a unit but his crit lines are always great. i appreciate the ones that are just like "bye <3" too tbh sfkhsd

writing cheol in UtS just really makes me appreciate him more as a person too tbh like. hes SUCH a good leader in general??? and i just kinda hope to do him justice with the way i write him and according to a lot of ppl im doing well there? i just love and appreciate him a lot even if he's not in my top three members of svt <3 like i said... 3 biases, 10 bias wreckers at all times.

haha fun fact actually: cheol is one of the characters who always loves reader despite whos part ur reading. it's always a matter of him putting their happiness first even if it kinda hurts tbh haha what who said that

oh absolutely <3 i think minghao would have some pretty solid battle quotes as well.

its ok!! literally today is the earliest i've gotten up in the past week-ish so maybe i can start fixing my sleep schedule lol

thank u layton anon ily i hope u get to take it easy and rest soon <3