#maybe it had a pattern? but i went with the safer (easier) option
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eugenephosgene · 1 year ago
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i am talking about adv wale tests and 8k in adv ka hi. and last yr(2023) m i didn't even clear mains. but, somehow managed to get 92% in boards. i just studied in Feb.
Ohmygod i didnt see this in my askbox. Dekho yaar, it depends on the tests you are giving and your first session ka result. If you get above 90-91% to be on the safer side then you are qualified. I'm just taking a percentile more because idk how many students had a drop year this time. And if you are comfident ki advanced mein you can get a rank which is enough to get into a good clg go with it. I've had people leave iits because the ones they were getting didn't have a campus or shit like that. But in that case they were getting top nits through mains.
And I've also talked to a person who qualified in mains with around 91% and then qualified even in advanced but didn't get enough to get a seat at iit. Usme you are stuck. You exhausted yourself halfway in both of them and then you could not get anything. Idk what he did after that. (Look into iist eligibility maybe)
Also remember that advanced ka cutoff varies a lot. In my case it went up and it just depends on the difficulty of the paper, the pattern of questions and how prepared your batch is (kyunki covid wala batch had difficulties).
Aim higher above whatever marks get you 8k. Sometimes cutoff increases, sometimes you're not able to perform at the level you were doing in your tests. Kabhi kabhi the chapter you were good at has only questions of less marks or they are in a difficult format like multiple currect. Maybe the chapter you could've also prepared but didn't because you were just looking at getting marks equalizing to last year's 8k had easier questions like single correct or integer values or match the options
Anything can happen. So please please do your best. Give other papers also, sometimes they save your ass like iat, bitsat. State engi papers mein ask someone ki outside state wale bacchom ki kaunsi rank consider hoti hai. I gave maharashtra ka paper because a friend suggested and i had the prep but then during councelling people told me ki meri toh mains ki rank lagegi.
You have time, give your best. Last ke liye kuch mat chodo. Overwhelm mat ho. If you have good teachers then ask them about this. Lekin apna syllabus khatam karo aur practice karo. They are going fast because they want to give you time to practice tests before your mains.
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jimmyunsolved · 3 years ago
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their reunion scene....
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themoonlitsojourner · 3 years ago
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Chapter 3: Come back home
Gar thought Raven didn't care. And he couldn't fault her for it after what happened when HE wore his heart on his sleeve. But now she's here with him. And he can't believe just how wrong he was.
In the dark room, lit only by fairy lights and the stars on the ceiling, Tara and Gar danced. They swayed back and forth, shuffling their feet in a pattern neither of them quite knew. The way they were dancing wasn��t important, after all. They were content just to be together, no matter what they were doing.
“How’s this for a dance?” Gar grinned. “It’s not exactly prom, but-”
“It’s perfect,” Tara reassured him. With a sigh, she leaned forward to rest her head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”
“Yeah.” He smiled down at her, running his hand lightly through her silky blond hair. “It’s no big deal, really. I’d do a lot more for you.”
When Tara looked up at him, tears shone in her ocean blue eyes. Tears he hadn’t understood at the time, mistaking them for happiness instead of sorrow. For affection instead of the dread of what was to come.
Leaning forward, she kissed him, so softly and sweetly he knew he’d remember that night forever. But like all the others they shared, it wasn’t long before the memory turned bittersweet.
~~~
Gar wakes up slowly. Why rush to return to his empty room and the aching hole in his chest? To the endless rain pouring down both outside his window and in his head?
But this morning is different. Today he awakens to cool jeans under his cheek and a gentle hand resting on his shoulder.
Gar’s eyes flutter open. No, he’s not still dreaming. He’s definitely lying with his head in someone’s lap. And when he cranes his neck to look, he can’t quite believe his eyes.
It’s Raven, of all people, who sleeps propped against the wall, head bowed and hair falling in front of her face, her hand resting on his shoulder. Her lips part slightly as she exhales quietly.
How does she do that? How does she find peace and control, the two things that have eluded Gar all his life? Especially now, when his world has shattered on the ground. He can’t imagine what the inside of his skull must look like right now. He doesn’t need to be an empath to know he’s a mess.
And yet Raven stayed. She pulled the pain from him, despite the havok it must have caused in her mind and the crick she’s totally going to have in her neck when she wakes up. She kept her promise.
Maybe he shouldn’t be so shocked. Maybe he should have a little more faith in his teammate. But honestly… Gar’d always thought Raven didn’t like him. That she only tolerated his presence. It’s why he can’t quite wrap his mind around it now that her actions say differently.
She could have decided to wait out the storm, could have let him push her away like the rest of the Titans. But instead she went miles out of her way to meet him in the dark hole he dug for himself.
When Gar closes his eyes, he can picture how she pulled his grief into herself, face creased in concentration. He can picture the single tear that rolled down her cheek, the first time he’s ever seen her cry. She hurt herself to help him. Why, he has no clue. It’s crazy. He’s lying with his head in her lap, for goodness sake!
I’ve gotta be a real mess if she’s letting me get this close. It’s all he can think of, that he looks so torn apart that she’s taking pity on him. Whatever the reason, he’s grateful.
“Rae.” She doesn’t stir. “It’s morning, sleepy-head.” Gar can’t help smirking. “And I think this is the first time I’ve ever been awake before you.”
“It’ll probably be the last,” Raven mumbles, still half asleep but falling easily into the familiar pattern of their banter. She pulls away from the wall, straightens, and immediately winces. Yup. Crick in the neck. Blinking against the light from the window, her careful gaze scans Gar’s face. Searching for the cracks.
“Are you okay?”
The world roars back to life around Garfield, the pictures and memories he’s desperate to forget flooding in.
“No.” He closes his eyes.
Raven lifts her hand from his shoulder. A pang shoots through Gar’s chest. Time’s up. She’s going to leave now, but he really shouldn’t be surprised. He is surprised she stayed this long though, that she answered a request he had no right to make. What was he thinking, anyway, asking the team empath to keep his chaotic mind company?
Gar’s about to sit up and let her go, and he knows she’s thinking the same thing, when he senses her hesitate. And instead of pushing his head from her lap, she pushes his hair back from his face.
As her cool fingers brush his forehead, Gar means to hold still, to listen to the part of him that’s afraid moving will make her stop. But the other side of him is so much stronger. It’s the part that needs to be reassured and held no matter who’s giving it, the part that’s been touch-starved by the hours locked alone in his room.
So Gar forgets who’s reassuring him and curls into it, seeking out more touch, more comfort. He presses his forehead into Raven’s side, letting her crisp cold wash away the muggy heat of his room.
Until he realizes what he’s doing. Never, in a million years, would Raven let him get this close. He’s totally making her uncomfortable.
You screwed up, you screwed, now she’s definitely going to leave.
But Raven doesn’t push him away. She stiffens, yeah, and she hesitates. Then she continues to stroke his hair. Her movements are awkward and unpracticed (he knows this is way outside her comfort zone), but there’s genuine care behind them. Gar tries not to purr when her fingernails scratch against his scalp in a way all the animal in him likes.
But it only takes a few seconds for reality to set in. Gar can’t ignore it any longer. Raven might be willing to stay and keep him company, but she can’t.
She has to go meditate so she can recharge. She’s told the team over and over that it’s not optional, and despite her incredible mental strength, Gar can feel the strain seeping in. The struggle to keep her mind level and calm after last night’s onslaught of emotions reflects in the tight control of her movements. She has to leave, and he can’t ask her to come back. Not after how much she’s given of herself just to be here.
Not when he isn’t sure if he’s even worth the effort.
“You should probably go.” Gar rolls off her lap.
Raven watches him for a moment, surprise altering her neutral expression and lifting her eyebrows a fraction. Does she think he doesn’t know how much of a toll her powers take on her? Maybe not. He doesn’t exactly act like he’s paying attention most of the time.
Raven’s mask falls back into place and she nods, rising from the bed. Gar looks away as she walks toward the door, unable to watch her go but too scared to admit he doesn’t want to be alone. Too ashamed to ask her to send Vic in. He’d never look at Gar the same way after seeing him like this.
Garfield hears the door swing open, but it doesn’t shut. He glances over to see Raven standing with her hand on the doorknob and studying him. Her eyes soften when he meets them, just the smallest bit.
“You’re not alone, Gar.”
Then she’s gone.
Gar stares at the closed door. You’re not alone. Just like he told her so long ago, back when they were still kids. Before their lives got so complicated and tragic.
What did he know then?
~~~
Garfield stays in his room all day. Despite the stubborn pessimist that she is, Raven hoped he’d reach out if given a little more time and space. That he would let his friends and teammates help instead of locking them out.
Apparently, she should have stuck with pessimism.
Raven has been reading the same line over and over when Victor flops onto the other end of the couch. She doesn’t need to ask where he was.
“This won’t last forever.” She lowers her book to give Victor her best attempt at an encouraging and understanding expression. “He’ll come around.”
Vic doesn’t even look at her. The frustration in his voice isn’t quite able to mask the pain. “You sure?”
Raven doesn’t have an answer.
~~~
It’s not her place and maybe it won’t change anything, but by the time night falls she can’t stand by any longer. If he won’t come out, then she’ll come to him.
Raven steps into Garfield’s room, edging around the pile of dirty laundry. “Victor misses you.”
They all do.
He’s lying in the same position as last time, on his side with his back to the door. Watching the rain that never seems to end. “I think I’ve figured it out.”
Though he can’t see her do it, Raven lifts an eyebrow. “Figured what out?”
“Why you like to be alone. Why you like the quiet. It numbs the pain doesn’t it? Calms the storm inside.” He crosses his arms and pulls his knees to his chest. “It makes it easier not to care. It’s safer that way, isn’t it?
Raven’s skin goes cold. But this time, it’s not because of her powers. It’s fear for Garfield and the way he’s talking. “This isn’t about me. And everything you just said? That’s not you.”
Gar rolls onto his back, cloudy eyes drifting to her face. “I just wanted to say I get it now. I’m sorry I didn’t before.”
This is not a time to freeze up, or wonder why in the world Gar chose to talk to the one person in the tower who is least equipped to help him. This is not a time to wish she’d learned something other than control and magic from Azar, such as how to interact properly with others. No, this is a time for action. To do something, to say something to help her friend. And maybe it won’t help. But Victor’s words echo in her mind.
Will it hurt?
Gar blinks, jaw falling open as Raven kneels beside the bed and lays her head on her arms, tilting it sideways so that she can meet his wide green eyes from the same angle. She needs to be on his level. See things from his perspective, both literally and figuratively.
“Quiet keeps the pain from getting worse. Solitude protects others from the storm.” She shakes her head. “But neither makes it better.”
~~~
Gar has never been this close to Raven before. Even when his head was in her lap she was still “up there,” her face a good two feet away from his. There’s always been a distance between them, both physically and emotionally, one that he could never figure out how to cross.
But now they’re equal, literally seeing eye to eye. Maybe that’s why Gar finds traces of... of feeling on the face he’s always thought battled Cinderblock’s for the title of stoniest. Or maybe the traces were always there. Maybe he just didn’t understand them until now. That’s true of a lot of things, actually.
He never thought of Raven’s distance as protection, both for herself and for her friends. But betrayal and loss really change a guy’s perspective on the world. So does a walk in his teammate’s shadowy shoes and even darker mind. Not that he’d ever tell her he could feel her emotions just as well as she could his when she used her powers to lessen the pain. She’d be mortified.
“I know it’s the last thing you want right now.”
Garfield’s attention flicks back to Rae, noticing the lavender color of her eyes as she speaks.
“But come downstairs. Please.” She drops her gaze, almost… embarrassed?
“Your friends miss you. They need you.”
Need… him? Gar can’t recall anyone ever saying they needed him. During a mission, sure, “Beast Boy, we need you to turn into a dinosaur,” but that’s Beast Boy. No one has ever needed Garfield.
He lowers his ears. “You need me?”
“Yes. We’re not a team without you.”
We. She’s saying we now. And he thought she’d prefer the team without him. Guess I was wrong about a lot of things.
Raven’s voice drops, and Gar knows what she’s about to tell him is important.
“What you said before, about not caring… I’m not supposed to care. It was the one rule I made when I joined the Titans, to protect myself and the others.” She tenses her jaw. “If I didn’t care, there would be fewer emotions to keep under control. And it wouldn’t hurt when the team told me to leave after they found out what I really was.”
As if we’d ever let you leave.
“Yeah. I understand that now.” Gar swallows past the lump in his throat. “It’s pretty smart, even though we’d never do that to you.” If I hadn’t cared about Tara, then I wouldn’t be hurting like this. My heart wouldn’t be shattered on the ground.
“No.” Raven shakes her head, frustration seeping into her voice. “No, it isn’t. That’s not what I’m saying.”
Gar scrunches up his nose, baffled, and she sighs.
“I’m not explaining this right. Garfield…” Her expression softens, and the mask falls away from her face. Completely and entirely. And for the first time, Garfield sees Raven, really sees her. No walls. No sarcasm or deflection. Just Raven, real and complete.
“I do care,” she confesses. “About you, Koriand’r, Victor, and Richard.” She looks away. “I care a lot. When it comes to the team, I’ve found it’s impossible not to.” Her brow furrows. “That means I’m going to get hurt someday, one way or the other. Something terrible will happen, or someone will walk away from the team, and I’ll feel like the world is ending.”
Just like I do right now.
“But it’s a price I’m willing to pay for my friendships.”
Raven pauses. Then she speaks slowly, as if realizing how she truly feels for the first time. “They’re worth it.”
Garfield’s mind whirls, set afloat in a strange new dimension where Raven makes eloquent speeches and shares heartfelt secrets. Where she cares about even him.
“You don’t hate me.” To Gar’s complete embarrassment, his voice cracks and the waterworks start. “I-I really thought-”
Raven’s eyes widen in complete horror. “Hate you? No! You… actually thought that?”
“You told…” Gar can’t say her name, images of blood soaked bandages flashing before his eyes. His hands tremble as he clears his throat and forces himself to continue. “Y-you said you used to.”
Raven falls silent. He can almost see her working through her thoughts. He had no idea how much went on behind her blank expression.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Sometimes I’ve been annoyed or irritated by you, especially during the first year. But I’ve never hated you.” She blinks and glances away. “It’s, um… kind of impossible, actually.”
For a moment, Gar forgets that Raven is Queen of No-Hugs and throws his arms around her neck. But this alternate dimension just gets stranger when she awkwardly pats him on the back in return.
Outside, the skies open up with a loud crash as the storm that the constant rain’s been threatening to bring all week finally breaks. Raindrops pound against the window in a steady rhythm while low thunder rumbles in the background. It sounds good. It feels like a release.
“I’m not going to lie.”
Gar lets go and pulls back, watching Raven’s face as she exhales.
“It will be hard at first. You’ll feel like you’re faking it every time you do something that makes you happy. But the joy will come back.”
“How do you know?” I want to hope, Rae. I want to so badly.
“Because you’re Gar.” She says it with finality, like that’s her whole answer. No hard logic or practical attempts to convince him. Just faith that he’ll come out alright because of who he is. Faith in him. “You’re stronger than you know.”
“Okay.” Garfield watches relief flood her eyes. She… she really was worried about him. “I’ll try.”
Five minutes later, Gar slips into the living room behind Raven, feeling oddly shy and self-conscious in his own home. But that only lasts the few seconds it takes for Kori to spot him.
“Garfield!” She flies straight at him like a rocket, stopping only inches short of running into him. Her eyes shine with unshed tears and she stretches out her arms. “May I give you a hug, please?”
“Why not?” Gar shrugs, blinking to hide his own tears. For once, he doesn’t mind how bone-crushing all Starfire’s hugs are. It’s never felt so good to have someone so happy to see him again. He’s never missed his friends this much.
The sound of Kori’s excitement brings Victor rushing in, Dick close at his heels.
A relieved grin splits the cyborg’s face. “BB,” he says quietly, holding out his fist. His soft brown eyes search Garfield’s face, still lined with concern.
With a start, Gar realizes how much he scared him.
“Cy.” He taps Vic’s fist with his own. “I’m… I’m sorry, dude.”
Stepping forward, Vic wraps him in a bear hug. “Man, don’t you dare apologize.” Is that… a sniffle Gar hears? “I’ve missed you, buddy.”
“Yeah,” Gar whispers into his best friend’s sweatshirt. “Me too, bro.”
After Vic releases Gar, Dick steps forward and wraps an arm around his shoulder, pulling him into a brief but sincere hug. “Good to have you back, Gar. Whatever you need, just ask. We’re behind you no matter what.”
Gar’s heart still throbs. The pain is still there. He has a feeling it will be for a long time. But as his gaze drifts from friend to friend, from teammate to teammate, he knows he’ll be okay.
His eyes land on Raven. The slightest corner of her mouth turns up and she nods, reminding him that he’s not alone. He never has been.
(Chapter 1) (Chapter 2)
(Previous fic in series: Slow dancing in the Darkness)
(Next fic in series: The Sound of the Sword)
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embrassemoi · 4 years ago
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Surrounded by The Moon and Stars • 08
Pairings: Sirius Black x [F]Reader, Remus Lupin x [F]Reader Content: Language, possible errors Author’s notes: Had a hard time with this one. 
Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
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Chapter 8: Master Plan
❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉
Surgeons always have a plan, that’s what Y/N picked up from her mother over the years. They knew what scalpel they needed, where to cut or clamp down. But even with their carefully crafted plans, there are unexpected things bound to arise that we don’t originally consider.
“Stop moving.”
Because that was not a part of her plan. So she began to formulate a new one:
a) Surely if she were to scream now, it would alert professor McGonagall. She would come rushing to help and free her.
b) But if she stepped on the person's shoe while screaming, it would distract them just long enough for her to have a head start. The pain would be so sudden that they would drop their arms and she could run. If she focused hard enough too, she could channel magic around her. Besides, if all else fails, McGonagall would still be there.
Option b) sounded like a great plan.
Now that her attacker's hand was drawn back, Y/N opened her mouth until she promptly shut it again. In the dark, she vaguely makes out a tall figure coming into view, a familiar mop of fawn-like hair appearing from behind her.
It was Remus.
With his presence, her body instantly relaxes. Her shoulders slump as tension and fear slowly dissolve. Remus tosses her a glance, shooting a gentle smile before his face darkens as he nods. He brings a finger to his lips, warning them to not interrupt.
To her delight, Y/N feels the person’s grip loosen even more, however, their arms were still caged and secured snuggly. Her heart slowed, becoming calmer as her brain moved from the idea of self-defence to confusion.
McGonagall finally enters the main corridor. From where they stood, her back faced them as she peered around the darkness, gripping the base of her candelabra. It glowed brightly, lighting up the surrounding area.
This was the only time Y/N had seen her professor after official school hours. Her outfit was mismatched; a soft pyjama set, with her school robes and heels on. She swore she had a sleeping mask hanging around her neck. Had pure adrenaline not been coursing through her veins, she would have snorted.
Remus uses this to his advantage as he shuffles his way towards McGonagall. He brushes off the non-existent dust from his suit before he reaches into his pocket, placing a shiny pin on the breast pocket. He then coughs, gaining her attention.
Startled, McGonagall wheeled her head, “Mr. Lupin! What are you doing here?”
He puts his hands in the pocket of his suit cooly. “Good evening professor. I’m doing my rounds. I actually just came from Slughorn's party a while ago.” He says, gesturing to his unusual patrol outfit.
McGonagall remains silent, choosing to take in his appearance. Y/N can almost see the confusion written on her face. She peers sternly over her glasses to look at Remus. If he was nervous, he hid it well because his expression managed to stay unchanged and there was no trace of a lie. Her eyes scan him one last time before speaking, “You’re not supposed to be on rounds tonight.”
“I switched places last minute with another prefect. They weren’t feeling well.” Remus quickly adds on, “— you might know them? Calwald; sixth year Slytherin.”
“Ah, yes… I heard footsteps coming from here. Did you see anyone?”
Remus looks like he’s thinking quickly. “Yeah, just a first year Slytherin. I escorted them to their common room.”
Professor McGonagall’s unnerving gaze even made Y/N shudder. She tuts, her head drops in a small nod. She stands tall, “Very well then, goodnight Remus.”  
“Goodnight, Professor.”
The soft clicks of her heels started up again. McGonagall heads in the opposite direction of the Slytherin common room while Remus pretends to walk away before pressing himself against a wall, camouflaging with the shadows in case their teacher were to look back. The echoing became quieter until only a soft, almost inaudible clicking came from the distance. The glow from her candles was gone and darkness surrounded them again.
Y/N was made acutely aware of the other person’s hold around her waist once it slackens, pulling away from her. The heavy fabric is dragged off her body before she turns over to her attacker.
“Sirius?”
She jerks away as far as she could, angrily. Her fingers twitched momentarily.
“You almost ruined it,” he spits out cold and aggressively. His bluish-grey eyes stormed, ripples of angry waves rolling from them. From the proximity, she swore she could feel the venom dripping from him as she released a breath she didn’t know she was holding. "And you bit me!"
She should have bitten harder.
She hisses back, “Shut it! How was I supposed to know that you were sneaking around?”
“Pads!” James growls, yanking at Sirius’ shoulder, “Fucking leave her alone. You’ve done enough today.”
“You gits!” Remus scolds, making his way back to the secret passage. He remained calm, directing his next sentences to the boys. “It was a mistake, okay? Calm the fuck down or you two will get us caught.”
Sirius huffs out, childishly. “Whatever you say Moomy.”
“Ha. Ha.”
“What’s going on?” Y/N askes.
At this, Sirius calms down a bit before he looks at Y/N again, a strange expression settles on his face. James on the other hand is ecstatic, “Right! We’re setting up the last part of the plan right now. The itching spray!”
Oh!"
“Yeah. Wormy is already inside the Slytherin common room making sure the spiders and Dungbombs we put in there are working.”
“Did you say he’s inside their common room?”
At this, his smile grows, “Got their password by waiting outside their door and Polyjuice potion. Our dear Moony brewed it.” Remus’ face is smug, his chest puffed out.
“Holy shit! I didn’t know you took it this seriously. Couldn't you be expelled for this?!”
"Godric, maybe Remus needs to give you his prefect title."
“I’ll gladly give it to you — fuckin’ hate being one.” Remus jokes, “Nah, we’ll be fine as long as we don’t get caught.”
“We’ve got our goody-two-shoes over here. Everyone loves him, won’t suspect a thing.” James says. Her eyes are back on Remus, sweeping from his face then down to his shiny prefect badge.
“I’m their scapegoat.”
Sirius sighs impatiently before cutting in, “Alright, I’m sure you can go now. McGonagall is long gone.”
Everyone shoots him a look.
“Oi! No! Please join us!” James whines, “You’re already here and trust me it’ll be so fun!”
“He’s right, join us,” Remus says, “Besides, you suggested it and it’ll be safer and easier to cover our tracks.”
It sounded exciting and she did need a pick-me-up considering her wavering emotions lately. Although Sirius’ jaw clenched. He was scowling at her.
“I’d love to join you,” she says, looking Sirius in the eyes.
A silent whooping came from James who balled his fist, throwing them into the air in celebration. They huddled together just as Remus led them out of the passage and through the dark.
James, who shared qualities of a golden retriever, walked by her side, a pep in his step. "You get to see the action first-hand, excited?"
“Of course!”
James rambles on before his eyes gloss over. He’s unusually quiet. Simultaneously, he grabs her hand and stops abruptly, dragging her to the back of the group. He lends in to whisper, his eyes flicking momentarily to Sirius, “Why were you with him?”
“Who?” She whispers back.
“Regulus Black.”
“Oh, we were at the Slug Cl —” She cuts herself off as she realizes, her eyes widened before staring at him, “You were following me!?”
“No! No!” He says, bringing his hands up defensively, waving them around. "You were walking in the same direction as him! To the Slytherin common room! It wasn't on purpose!"
“I — how did you — I didn’t even see you!” She thought back to the crinkling noise, “Wait, we heard you!”
He sighs a bit as he pulls out a large fluid-like, shimmery, silvery cloak. Upclose, silver threads were woven onto it, patterns swirling into regal shapes. He handed her the cloak to feel. It was silky smooth and glittered prettily in the light. It looked similar to the reflection of stars in a lake at night.
“You’re not telling me this is a…” she gaped.
The boy was grinning from ear to ear as if it were sewn on his face permanently. In a way, it looked rather demonic. He looked as if his face were going to split into two. “You betcha! An invisibility cloak.”
Her mind finally caught up to her once again before thinking back to what James asked. “Why’d you want to know about Regulus?”
“Huh! E-erm… no reason.”
She punches him softly in the arm. “You lying bastard! You can’t be nosey and not tell me? He’s not… bad? Is he? I quite like him.”
“No he’s not… just —” James cuts himself off, fearing he might have said too much. He did not expect the conversation to turn in this direction. He quickly averts her attention to another topic. “The Slug Club?” He says loud enough so the entire group can hear, “How was it?”
She would make sure to push him on the topic later.
Meanwhile, Remus and Y/N groaned.
“Awful.”
“Dreadful.”
“Nosey git.”
“Happily annoying.”
“He must be an actual slug. He’s slimy and boring.”
“Merlin! It can’t be that bad!”
“Oh trust us,” Remus addresses, “It’s worse. The entire time he went on and on about stupid shit. Like what was it he said?” He looks at Y/N.
“Ugh, what?”
“When he went on about that kid— what was his name… Seán?”
“Ah! Wait,” she straightened up and mocked their professor. She fake coughs for dramatic effect. “Your aunt created the Capmisted potion! Ah yes, brilliant, brilliant! I wish I taught her when she was at Hogwarts. Say, you’re still close, right? Why don’t we invite her to come to one of these parties one day?”
Her painful attempt at a British accent made them laugh.
“What a fucking sleazy bloke,” Remus chokes out.
They continued to make their way down to the Slytherin common room. All four jumped at the sound of footsteps before Y/N felt the invisibility cloak being tossed over her body, along with the rest of the boys too. They waited until it passed before finally stopping at the dungeons.
The entrance to the common room was by a stretch of stone. The area was dimly lit, the ceiling was low and had an eerie look and feel to it. Plus the cold only made Y/N rub her hands up and down her arms, goosebumps left in their trail. A dripping sound encompassed them like a makeshift metronome.
It made her feel uneasy.
Peter, who was crouched and small, hid in the shadows and would’ve gone unseen had he not popped out and scared all of them.
“For fucks sake Wormtail! We thought you were a Slytherin earlier.”
Peter was gleeful. He donned a large smirk and his face was slightly red. The Polyjuice was almost completely worn off, however, Peter had a full head of black, thick hair. “I checked everything, the traps should be set to release at eight o’clock.”
“An hour long?”
“Needs time to travel around the room.”
“Positive?”
“Positive.”
“Now comes the fun part,” James nudges her.
“Oh, hi Y/N,” Peter says slightly confused.
“Hey, Pete, here to watch if you don’t mind.”
Peter takes a moment to look at the rest of the group, “More the merrier!”
“Alright, you geezas! Let's get this party started!” James announces. He digs through the side bag he was carrying, pulling out four pairs of dragonhide gloves and tosses them to the boys. “Sorry, haven’t got any for ya. Would’ve brought an extra if I knew you were comin’.”
“It's alright.”
“Okay,” Remus says before crouching down, a large bag on his side. “I’ll start attaching everything, you know what to do and be careful. Remember, do not touch your eyes.”
He looks up at her, “Y/N if you could, it would be helpful to be on the watch out.”
“Gladly.”
Remus unscrewed bottle after bottle, attaching nozzles on them while James helped him. Peter slid out a ladder that was concealed by magic in a slim nook. As he scaled it, Sirius held on tightly to it before he cast a charm to prevent it from sliding around.
Up high, concealed by darkness and magic, revealed hundreds of identical bottles before Remus sprang up, switching places with Peter as he attached the rest of the bottles onto a huge system.
It looked similar to a new-maj mechanical system. The components consisted of small wires, a timer, tape and string connected to them all, along with a small lever that was attached to the underside of a brick. With the aid of magic, they were all securely set into place and ready to be activated.
“What is that?” She turned to Peter.
“Moonys got the bottles up there programmed to spray every time certain people leave the common room. See, look,” he points to the almost non-existent glow on the wires.
She marvelled at their creation. It was large and must’ve spent hours trying to conduct it. Sirius and James were helping Remus by passing him the bottles and securing them to the top of the roof.
If only Lily was here to see this. She would have an aneurysm.
At one point, Peter had been passing the bottles up to Remus while Sirius and James fiddled around with extra dungbombs they had, scattering them around.
“Jeez, Moons, my arms feel like they’re on fire.”
Peter did look worn out before he panted out. His forehead was starting to glean from sweat.
“Why don’t I do it for now?” She says to him before looking up to Remus.
“Only if you want to.”
The two switched places and Peter handed her his gloves. She slipped them on before enchanting them to fit snugly around her hands. Bending down, she picked up a few bottles. They were unexpectedly very heavy. She understood why Peter had to take a break. Although Remus seemed to be fine. Compared to his slim look, Remus had an unusual amount of strength that surprised her.
They worked in phases. Every ten or so minutes, Peter and Y/N would switch positions. They all worked in silence. From time to time, Peter and her would crack a joke, causing Remus to overhear and chuckle himself.
Everyone was having a good time. Even Sirius perked up, being less hostile to the entire group and even her. She thought she was dreaming for a split second.
The group worked quickly and managed to attach all of the bottles along with Dungbombs with only a few interruptions from incoming students. Luckily, they had the cloak to cover themselves and their things.
By the time they were finished, it was past one in the morning. They all huddled together underneath the cloak. Unfortunately, it was only medium-sized and unable to fully cover everyone from sight. Sirius and Y/N, who were on the edge on opposite sides, their arms and legs would poke out. More than once, it became very uncomfortable and hard to squish everyone inside as they flattened themselves against a wall anytime they heard even the slightest of movements. They kept impossibly silent, aside from James who’d been elated; constantly making small jokes or making sound effects with his mouth. Remus had to flick him a few times to keep quiet.
As soon as they reached the Gryffindor tower, they removed the cloak.
“Gastropod!” Cheered Peter to the fat lady. She swung open for the five of them. The warmth of the fireplace crackled as they threw themselves on the sofas. They all tried to catch their breaths and still their pounding heartbeats.
Pure adrenaline pumped through her veins as she took a moment to take in what just happened.
James was grinning from ear to ear, Peter seemed cheerful, Sirius became somewhat tolerable, while Remus, as always, seemed tired.
Remus, covering his mouth in a half yawn muttered out, “It was fun having you here but I’m knackered. I’ll see you lot at breakfast. Night.”
“Me too,” Peter said. Sirius got up to followed them as they made their way up to the boy’s dorms.
James stayed with Y/N for a bit afterwards. Both were giddy and they even ate a few snacks she still had in her pockets.
“Wasn’t that fun!” he said, “Godric, you need to join more often.”
“I’ll think about it,” Y/N says playfully.
“I’m going to train you — gonna make you into a mini-me. My apprentice.”
“I think the world has enough of your arrogance.”
He laughed unbothered by the remark, “This is only the beginning. Just you wait.”
124 notes · View notes
yungidreamer · 4 years ago
Text
Valentine’s Day
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Summary: The boys decide to go all out for the holiday pampering and loving their girl. After a trip to an adult store they have everything they need to make it a holiday to remember for all of them.
Wordcount: 10.1k
Content warnings: A good dose of humor and domestic fluff to start with, discussions of sex toys, pampering, a little bit of dress up, oral sex, double penetration, restraints, use of a vibrator, edging, overstimulation, discussion of a safe word, super cuddly aftercare.
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Valentine's weekend came quickly for them all. The boys had given her strict instructions that they were making plans for it and they would get everything for the day. If she wanted, she could get them little gifts, but the day was theirs. During the week leading up, Mingi and Yunho went on a special shopping trip together to a sex shop. Both boys were nervous and didn’t entirely know what to expect when they went in. They wanted to get something special for the day, for their girl and, especially with the short time frame they were working with, this was their best option.
A quick internet search had provided them with a few options. They settled on one that seemed to have the biggest selection, heading there one day after classes. Contrary to their fears, they found the store to be big, bright and open, looking much more like your average big box store than they would have guessed. They kept the safer things like lingerie closer to the front and in the large windows to the front of the store and slowly added things that were more obviously adult the further they went to the back of the store. Honestly it might have been easier if the store had been smaller. Fewer things to choose from means fewer choices that had to be made. But here they were. 
“What do you want to look for first,” Yunho asked Mingi as they stood together somewhere near the middle of the store.
“Maybe we can start with something to wear,” Mingi suggested, seeing a section of costumes and some racks of things for men not far away. Yunho nodded, agreeing that it was a place to start at least. They wandered around a little, flipping through the things on the shelf as they passed.
“What about this?” Mingi pulled a small thong off rack and held it up. Yunho couldn’t help but smile at what he had picked out. It was adorable and perfect for the occasion. The front was designed to mimic a black tie suit, topped with a small black silk bow tie and had a small row of tiny black buttons going down the front underneath it.
“I love it, it's perfect for you,” Yunho agreed, tucking it in their little handheld basket. They walked down another aisle before something caught his eye. Up on a little mannequin he spotted something he could only describe as a leather harness. It looped around the waist and had a couple of straps that went around the thighs, all connected with a series of straps, buckles, and rings.
“What about that?” Yunho pointed at it to bring Mingi’s attention to it.
“Ooooo,” Mingi breathed, nodding enthusiastically. “That would be good on you. Do… do you think they have any that would look good on our girl?”
“Let’s see if we can find that one in a size I can wear first,” Yunho chuckled. They did, it was thankfully adjustable and came in a number of sizes. They tucked the one they thought seemed like the best guess in size before combing through that section a little more for their girl. Before long they found a harness they liked for her. It was a little simpler, but lighter and feminine almost. It had only two straps around the thighs and four thinner ones that connected the waist to the thighs. It looked like a leather garter belt with little bows on the vertical straps which hooked to the loops in the thigh straps with little lobster clips. They also located a matching harness for her chest with a couple of medium straps that went around her ribs then a mess of thinner ones that went up to a choker like one, curving around the outside of her breasts and up between them. They had had to improvise slightly in size, not having checked her clothing size before they left, but they did manage to get help from a store assistant who let them test their hands on a couple of mannequins, roughly sussing out her size from memory. That little experience left the female shop assistant in giggles and Yunho blushing bright red.
Having helped them with that, and having shown them to the dressing room to try things on, she went back to her job, still smiling and snickering as she did. Yunho’s face felt like it was on fire as he stepped into his dressing room to try on the harness. It will all be worth it, he told himself. Besides, she definitely found the fact I was embarrassed much funnier than anything else. He took a deep breath and started fiddling with straps to make sure the harness would fit. When it was all attached over his boxers, Yunho poked his head out and whispered Mingi’s name to get him to take a peek and see what he thought. Mingi poked his head out, then waddled quickly into the stall where Yunho had changed.
“It looks good,” Mingi said, not able to keep himself from staring at Yunho’s thighs.
“Did… did you try yours on too?” Yunho asked, noting that Mingi currently didn’t have his pants on.
“Oh yeah, what do you think?” As he asked, Mingi lifted up his long baggy shirt to show the formal thong he had put on over his boxer briefs. Yunho watched as he turned in a little circle for him.
“I think I can’t wait to see you wear that without the extra layer,” Yunho joked, giving Mingi’s bum a little squeeze.
“I like it, too,” Mingi grinned widely and gave a laugh.
“One person to a room,” a familiar voice said from the hallway, humor still dancing in her tone.
“Sorry,” the boys apologized in sync and Mingi slipped back to his dressing room to change back into his pants. With everything tried on, they had a few more things they wanted to get for the big weekend. Since his dignity was already in tatters with her, Yunho decided that the sales assistant who had assisted them before was probably the best choice to help. Color still high on his cheeks, Yunho found her righting a display not far away and tapped on her shoulder.
“Oh hey, did you need help with something else?” She said when she looked up to see him. 
“Would you be okay helping us with some… toys,” he ended with a whisper, not wanting someone else to overhear, feeling shy enough already.
“I suppose it may depend on what help you want,” she laughed, setting down the last thing she had in her hand. “But I can probably help you out.”
“Thank you,” Yunho said, gripping the basket tighter in his hands.
“Come this way,” she told them, heading over towards a section of the store off to the opposite side which had shelves of boxes and a couple display cases. “Okay, what were you looking for.”
“Umm, a vibrator, I think,” Yunho cleared his throat, looking around at all the stuff around them, feeling a little lost in the selection.
“Great, is that for you or Miss Mannequin?” As she asked, the corner of her lip twitched.
“Is there a difference?” Yunho asked.
“Well there can be,” she began carefully. “Let’s start with how you want to use it.”
“Okay,” Yunho nodded, feeling Mingi draw up by his side.
“Were you wanting something for your girlfriend as well?” She directed the question to Mingi who only nodded in response. “Okay well, let’s start with looking at the sort of options you have.” Taking a moment, she pulled a couple of things out of the case in front of her as well as a couple of boxes off a nearby shelf. “So, you have basically ones that go in her, ones you use on her, or ones that sort of attach to you to help you please her. For example, wand and bullet vibes are pretty popular, you use them on the outside and she could use the bullet one on you as well.” She pushed forward something very large that looked like a small bat as well as something tiny that looked like a rounded chapstick tube but in silver. “If you want something that would go in her, or you too,” she added as an afterthought. “You might consider a rabbit vibe, or another sort of vibrating dildo, or a vibrating plug like this.” She pointed to a couple of big boxes and then a silicone something that looked like it belonged in the neck of a wine bottle, like a cork with a pull attached. “And there are also these that go on your fingers, or you, or your tongue, for just that little bit of extra oomph.”
“That’s… a lot of stuff,” Mingi commented, looking at everything she had laid out.
“I think… not something that goes inside,” Yunho decided, scooting those off to the side. “And maybe not something that I put on,” he added. “Which one do most people think feel the best?”
“Well if you are going to use it while you are with her,” she said meaningfully while trying to be tactful. “Something that specifically stimulates her clitoris might be what you are looking for.” She turned around and pulled a couple of things out of displays that had been behind her. “These are really popular and kind of feel like when you go down on her. They are really good but also small enough for one of you to hold between you while you are together.”
Mingi and Yunho looked at each other with raised eyebrows.
“Did you want to see what it feels like?” She offered. Both boys nodded, each taking one and turning it over in their hands to find the switch and test it out. The first had a little round indentation where the vibrations were concentrated, giving an odd pulsing sort of vibration. The second didn’t have as dramatic a cup, was covered in soft silicon, and had various settings that changed not only the pattern of the vibrations, but also the location of them in the toy.
“This one,” Yunho said and Mingi nodded. “I like this one, I think.”
“Great,” she nodded and started clearing off the top of the display case since they had made their choice. Yunho waited, looking at what was inside while he waited. The case was mostly filled with smaller things that were unboxed, things that would be easy to pocket without paying for. There were stainless steel piercings, little silver balls, and large assorted rings made from various materials.
“Did you want to look at the cock rings, too?” She asked, noting the direction of his attention.
“Maybe,” Yunho let out a nervous chuckle. “What do they do? How do they work?”
“Well they help you get harder, maybe a little bigger, and can make it feel better,” She explained, pulling out a couple of different kinds. “Not everyone likes them and they won’t make drastic changes for you, but it might be something fun to try, if you want to. You just slide them on with lots of lube before you get hard and it sort of helps your body do it’s thing.”
“Yeah, I think I’ll take one,” Yunho decided.
“Okay, do you want a multi pack or do you have some idea of your size,” she asked.
“Well I know… me, but how do I know what size that is?” He asked, shifting uncomfortably.
“I have an idea,” she held up her finger and walked a couple of display cases away and pulled out a selection of a few reasonably sized dildos. “Which one is closest to you when you’re hard?” Yunho pointed at the largest one on the table and looked to Mingi, who nodded in agreement. “Okay, just pointing out, it won’t work as well if you aren’t honest, so no judgement.” Both of the boys pointed at the largest and it was her turn to blush slightly and blink. She paused and her eyes flicked down to the fly of his jeans for a split second. “Large. Got it. What about you?” She asked, trying to gather herself and look at Mingi. He pointed at one size down and she blinked a couple of times. “Also a large, okay.” She reached into the case and pulled out some black silicon rings. “I recommend these to start with. They are more forgiving and easier to get on than some others. Here is a little pamphlet to go with them, as well.” She put them and the pamphlet into a small ziplock.
“Thanks,” Yunho nodded, taking the bag and putting it in their basket.
“And here are the vibrators,” she said as she placed two boxes on the counter in front of them.
“Oh we just need the one,” Yunho said, picking up a box and putting it in the basket.
“I thought you both wanted to have one to use,” she gave a self effacing laugh.
“Yeah,” Mingi agreed. “That’s right.”
“Well, umm, you should probably get your own,” she said, pushing the other box to him gently. “It really isn’t the best idea to share toys between different partners.”
“Oh, we won’t,” Mingi said understandingly. “We share a girlfriend.” With that reply they gave her another thanks, leaving her there blinking quickly as her mind tried to process that rather unexpected remark.  They ended up going slightly overboard with the fun stuff, figuring anything they didn’t use now, they would eventually. They bought massage oils, a kit called Let’s Play Together that included things meant for sensation play (they agreed they could figure all that out later), and some flavored oils and dust that seemed interesting. Finally satisfied, they headed to the register and paid for their haul.
Unfortunately, the shopping bag they brought home was not terribly discrete, bearing the logo and name of the store on it, which meant it was very apparent where they had been shopping when they arrived home to find their girl in the living room with Hong Joong and Seonghwa. They were catching up, after having worked on a bit of homework together. Her eyes landed on the bag and she let out a loud cackle.
“I am so getting laid this weekend,” she hooted. Hong Joong doubled over with laughter and Seonghwa grimaced slightly as he snickered into his hand.
“Like you weren’t totally going to this weekend anyway,” Seonghwa rolled his eyes and started to pack up the last of his things.
“Yeah, but now I know I’m getting really good laid,” she pointed out with a grin.
“Something I didn’t need to know,” Hong Joong noted. “But I am happy for you.”
“Ugh, I need to get a gift for Sangie,” Seonghwa sighed.
“I thought you already got him something,” Hong Joong blinked at his roommate.
“I got him some chocolates on actual Valentine’s Day,” Seonghwa allowed. “But we have a date on Saturday. I need to give him something then.”
“Sure, right,” Hong Joong nodded. “Thank you for reminding me why I am not that upset to be single.”
After a little small talk, Hong Joong and Seonghwa headed back to their dorm, leaving the trio alone at home. She gave each of the boys a slightly belated proper welcome home before Yunho took the bag back to his room for later.
“No peeking,” Mingi told her as he pulled her into his lap for a moment of cuddles. “Promise you won’t ruin the surprise.”
“I promise,” she agreed, giving him a sweet sustained kiss. “I want the surprise too.”
“You’re going to love it,” Mingi grinned at her, holding her close to him.
“Babe, I would love it even if we all just sat in the same room and read,” she assured him. “And I know that you two have something better than that planned for us.”
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On Saturday morning the boys woke up early, well at least earlier than normal, to start Valentine’s Day for their girl. They had the whole day planned, and it started with breakfast. Mingi had set an alarm for them, putting his phone under his pillow, in the hopes that they could get up without bothering her. Unfortunately, she was by far the lightest sleeper of all of them. It was in fact her that heard the muffled alarm, fishing Mingi’s phone out from under his pillow and turning off the alarm. She turned on her side to face him, touched and moved by the effort at least. She roused him with gentle kisses on his forehead and over his nose and cheeks. Half awake, Mingi pulled her up against him, snuggling his face into the warm mounds of her breasts.
“Mingi, baby, your alarm went off,” she told him gently as she stroked the side of his face.
“Alarm?” He said groggily. “What alarm?”
“The one you set, honey,” she chuckled, letting her head fall back into the pillows. “Don’t ask me what it’s for, you didn’t even tell me you were setting it.”
“Valentine’s Day,” Mingi suddenly realized, pulling himself up and out of her arms. “Awwww, you were supposed to sleep in while we got breakfast ready.”
“It’s okay,” she reassured him, putting a hand on his bare arm. “You can still do whatever you had planned.” 
She shifted, starting to pull herself out of the covers when Mingi stopped her. “No no, you stay in bed this morning.”
“Can I go pee if I promise to come back and lounge back in bed like a princess?” She asked patiently, hands clasped in her lap.
“Yes,” Mingi agreed, slightly chagrined. She got out of the bed, giving Mingi a quick kiss on the lips as she passed, heading to the bathroom to pee and wash her face as she did every morning. While she was busy in the bathroom, Mingi got Yunho up as well and they headed eagerly into the kitchen to make breakfast. They were going to make her favorite, french toast with fresh strawberries and real maple syrup. Mingi made her favorite tea, brewing it in their teapot, and got out three matching mugs for them. Both of them worked on preparing a special tray for her, putting her food, an empty mug, her silverware in a nicely folded napkin, and a little vase with a peach rosebud on it.
Mingi carefully carried her tray down the hall with Yunho behind him managing their plates, two mugs, and the teapot very well thanks to his large hands. They found her lounging in the middle of the bed, hair twisted up in a bun with her silver comb, watching something on YouTube as she waited patiently for them, dressed only in one of Mingi’s old t-shirts.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Mingi declared, putting the tray on her lap. Yunho came around the other side, putting their own plates on the bed before filling her mug with hot tea now that there wasn’t a risk of it splashing out. 
“Oh… wow…” she breathed looking at the breakfast. “You guys are such sweethearts. This looks so good. I just love it.”
“This is just the start of the day,” Yunho promised with a grin.
“I can’t wait,” she leaned forward to give each of them a kiss before happily digging into the food they had so lovingly made for her. Happily nomming on every bite, she made sure to let them see how pleased she was by everything they were doing for her. They often did little things for her, happily taking care of things around the house, running errands, and of course, reaching anything too high for her. But this was different. It was the first time they had really planned a big thing, a grand gesture for her, and she loved it.
Breakfast done, the boys cleared up the bed and cleaned up the dishes in the kitchen before rejoining her in the bed for a romantic movie. While they watched, Yunho redid her hair, braiding it before twisting it up with the comb, making it more secure for what they had in store next.
When the movie was done, Yunho snuck into the bathroom while Mingi distracted her in the living room for a few minutes. When he had everything ready, he poked his head back out and gave Mingi the go-ahead to get her ready and bring her in. Mingi stripped his old shirt off her before guiding her into the bathroom with her eyes covered. Even before he let her see anything, the smell of the bath tickled and tempted her nose, tantalizing her. Rose, jasmine, and magnolia mingled in the steam warmed air of the bathroom. The air was still, only the drip of the tub faucet and the sound of someone that must have been Yunho shifting slightly as he stood on the bath mat.
Mingi let his hand drop, allowing her to open her eyes. She was immediately struck dumb by the sight of what they had transformed the bathroom into. It was usually a really lovely space, mostly glistening white tiles and gold colored taps and towel racks. A perfect balance of classic and modern. Serviceable, comfortable, cozy. 
But now, the room before her was a cave of romantic comfort. They had blocked out the light from the window with a towel, instead lighting the room with a dozen candles. A few were small tea lights, mostly placed where something bigger wouldn’t have fit, but most were pink and white pillar candles put in clear glass cylinders to protect them from drafts and to protect the things around them from their flickering flames. Around the edge of the tub and even on the side of the counter closest to it, flowers were strewn over every surface. Little bouquets were gathered in a few vases scattered among the loose flowers. The tub was filled with milky looking water, scented like a fragrant garden, with buds and petals floating on the surface.
“Oh boys, this must have been so much work.” Just looking at it was choking her up slightly. “Thank you.”
“Come get in, princess,” Yunho crooked his finger at her and helped her step into the warm water. The water was the perfect temperature, surrounding her with warmth and the rising scented steam made it feel like she was enveloped in a whole different world inside that tub. Yunho cupped the water up over her shoulders and neck, making sure the soothing water covered her from the neck down.
While Yunho continued to dribble the water on her, Mingi came to sit beside him, taking her hand out of the water and starting to gently massage the muscles and tendons in her hands. Honestly, it had never occurred to her that it would feel quite so nice to have that done. She sat in the flickering orange light of the candles, letting the boys dote on her, but it felt a little strange to be the only one getting attention.
“Would you mind getting in with me?” She asked, turning to face them. 
“But we’re pampering you today,” Yunho replied, kissing her nose.
“You can still pamper me from inside the tub,” she smiled at them running her hands up their arms.
“If that’s what you want,” Yunho agreed. Both boys stripped off the last of what they had been wearing and slipped into the water after carefully lowering its level first to keep it from overflowing.
“Come sit in my lap, I’ll rub your shoulders,” Mingi said, reaching for her. She nodded, scooting over so she was sitting on his crossed legs facing Yunho opposite him. Mingi’s hands went to her shoulders gently rubbing at the muscles in her neck. Yunho’s hands reached for her feet under the water, gently massaging them in the milky depths. She let out a satisfied moan and let her hands stroke the muscular flesh of Mingi’s thighs.
“Feel good?” Mingi asked, kissing the side of her head. 
“Oh yeah,” she said, voice laden with relaxed pleasure. “So good.”
“Anything for our princess today,” Yunho switched to massaging her other foot, lifting it out of the water to give it a little kiss.
“If I’m a princess today, what does that make you two?” She mused, leaning back against Mingi’s chest.
“Slave boys?” Mingi offered teasingly.
“Mmm, nah,” she wrinkled her nose at the idea.
“What about just loyal servants?” Yunho tested.
“Still no,” she stuck her tongue out at him.
“Knights at your service?” Mingi tried after another moment’s thought.
“Oooo, yes, I like that,” she gave a low chuckle and ran her toes over Yunho’s lower stomach as she did.
“Oh, do you?” Yunho teased. “I am at my lady’s service, always.” He sat up and leaned forward in the water, scooting until he loomed over her. Dipping his head down, he kissed the side of her jaw as one hand went to her breast under the water. “I commit my life to her pleasure.” Lifting her breast above the waterline, he sucked the nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip like it was the tastiest candy. She let out a sigh, letting her head fall back on Mingi’s shoulder as her fingers tangled in Yunho’s hair. Mingi, tilted her head to the side and kissed the shell of her ear.
“I want to touch you,” she entreated, letting the hand Yunho’s hair trail down his neck and chest.
“Today is about your pleasure,” Yunho caught her fingers and laced his fingers with hers.
“And it would please me to make you cum, here, like this, with my hand,” she explained. “Then I want to do the same to our Mingi.” She ran her fingertips up the outside of Mingi’s thigh underneath her. “Besides, maybe if you cum now, you’ll last longer when we do stuff later.”
“Would it make you happy to touch me,” Yunho teased.
“Very happy,” she nodded.
“Well if it would make you happy,” he agreed.
“One rule though,” she added. “You can’t touch me while I am touching you, but the other person can.”
“If you insist,” Yunho chuckled. “But I want a kiss first.”
“Deal,” she agreed, leaning forward to meet his lips. Yunho’s big hands came up to cradle her face as he moved his lips against hers. He nibbled and licked at her lower lip until she opened her mouth and let his tongue in to explore her mouth. His tongue teased hers, tangling with it like a dancing partner. With his thumbs, he caressed her cheekbones and pulled her face to just the right angle for him. By the time he let her go, her heart was fluttering and her stomach felt like it was full of butterflies.
“Fuck, Yunho,” She shivered. “You know how to drive me crazy. Now it’s my turn. Put your hands on the edge of the tub.”
Yunho leaned back and extended his legs so that she and Mingi could straddle them under the water, the easiest position that allowed her access to him, and put his hands on the curve of the edge of the porcelain tub on either side. He cast her a challenging look and gave a nod to Mingi who then slid his hands over her hips as he pressed against her from behind. She smiled and teasingly wiggled her butt against the boy behind her.
Under the water, her hands wandered down over the planes of his muscular stomach, enjoying the soft skin that stretched over his lean muscles. She teased around his half hard erection, stroking the inside of his thighs and the balls hanging beneath it. Yunho let out a shaking breath and gave her a mix of please have mercy and please don’t stop. When her hand gripped his erection, his head fell back and he groaned.
As her hand slowly worked him, Mingi teased her from behind. His hands played over her waist and up along her ribs and up to her breasts. As he let his hands wander, his lips did the same over her neck and shoulders. Yunho could tell whenever Mingi did something especially distracting, as her hand would stutter or move more quickly that it had a second before. Yunho kept his eyes closed, his head leaning against the side of the counter behind him, listening to the sound the other two made as she touched him. He heard the catch of her breath and the watery swish as Mingi’s hands moved over her, above and below the water. He cracked open his eyes when she made a surprised little ahh sound, half breath, half gasp. Yunho could see Mingi’s mouth working along the side of her neck, a couple of inches below her ear. The way her skin moved when Mingi moved his head slightly told him that he was either sucking quite hard or had his teeth around her flesh. Either way, she was enjoying it plenty, tilting her head to give Mingi better access to her neck.
Yunho felt his pleasure rising slowly as her fingers focused on stroking his sensitive head. Mingi took note of Yunho’s increased breathing as well as that the other boy was now watching him touch her as she touched him and decided to make his actions more of a show. He lifted her breast higher, letting her pert nipples show through the space between his fingers as he messaged the soft globes with his large hands. He ran the tip of his tongue along the whole side of her neck while keeping eye contact with Yunho who groaned at the sight. Where Mingi’s mouth had been was an angry sort of red, with the indentation of his teeth in a small circle around it. Yunho could even make out the front tooth that was just a little longer than the other in how it marked her skin.
As Yunho came close to his orgasm, evident by the way his body involuntarily twitched as she touched him, Mingi turned her face for a kiss. She groaned into his mouth and Yunho had to stop himself from reaching out to guide her hand to move on him just a little harder, a little faster.
“Harder, please,” he finally gritted out as he watched them through hooded, half closed eyes.
“Like this?” She asked, tightening her grip slightly and twisting her hand as she moved on his length.
“Yes,” he confirmed, adding, “and faster.”
“Anything,” she agreed happily. Within a few more strokes, Yunho came under her touch, gripping the tub so tightly that his knuckles turned white. She released him, letting him recover without taking him into over stimulation. Mingi ran light kisses along the back of her neck, smelling her skin and her hair as he waited, anticipating his turn under her touch.
Soon enough, Yunho was pulling her into his lap and letting Mingi stretch out as he had been. Mingi sighed at the feeling of her grasping his member. He couldn’t see the way she had touched Yunho under the milky surface of the water, but her motions and his imagination had done at least as well at arousing him as the actual sight would have.
“Both hands on him love,” Yunho instructed as his own fingers went to tease the inside of her thighs. “Make him cum for us. He’s been so good today, hasn’t he?”
“Yes, I’m so lucky he loves me,” She said softly as she played with him.
Yunho played with her body below the water as her hands drove Mingi wild. He was careful to ride the line to keep his touch teasing more than pleasing. They had plans for her and this release, this respite was going to make it much easier to spend the rest of the afternoon driving her mad with pleasure. Yunho let out a low chuckle and nuzzled into the hair behind her ear. She turned to look at him with a questioning sort of expression. Yunho gave her a secretive smile, mischief sparkling in his eyes. She didn’t ask, just quirked an eyebrow at him and turned back to Mingi who was twitching and moaning.
Yunho went to the other side of her neck from the one Mingi had marked and started giving it light and teasing kisses as Mingi got nearer to his orgasm. It wouldn’t take long for him to come, having been so worked up from the start and given her more vigorous stimulation of him. He waited patiently for the moment when he could feel Mingi’s legs buck beneath them before marking her neck, hearing her tense, pleasurable intake of breath. Her gasp matched Mingi’s low groan, mixing to make the sweetest of sounds for Yunho’s ears.
After letting them take a moment to recover, Yunho stepped out of the bath and dried off. Mingi followed soon after, insisting that she wait so they could help her and dry her off and get her ready for the rest of the afternoon. They rubbed her dry with a fluffy towel before getting the black lacy blindfold and her harness so they could get all of them dressed up before she got to see them. Mingi worked on getting the top on her, putting the straps around her rib cage first before working on the collar strap and adjusting the ones that connected the two over her chest and around her breasts.
“Does it feel okay? Can you move alright?” Mingi asked, letting her test and give him a nod, before feeding the ends through the loops to hold them down. On her lower half Yunho was working on attaching the straps around her waist and thighs, having her flex and lift her legs to make sure they wouldn’t restrict her. He clipped the garter belt like straps to the rings on her thighs at the front and the back.
With her properly dressed, Mingi honeymoon carried her to bed, setting her down and scooting her into the middle of the bed with the instructions not to move or take off the blindfold until they gave her the okay. She responded with a salute and a smile she tried to suppress for effect. The boys went back into the bathroom and got dressed. Mingi helped Yunho get all the straps attached and adjusted, not missing the chance to give his butt a nice squeeze as he did.
“You look really fucking hot,” he told Yunho as he pulled him against him and gave him a challenging sort of look until Yunho broke and gave him a giggling kiss.
“You, too,” Yunho responded. “Now let’s go play with our girl.” Mingi nodded excitedly, getting the bag of loot from the other day from where they had stowed it in the closet. They pulled everything out and spread it over the foot of the bed for easy access, then gave her the okay to take off her blindfold. She looked at Yunho first and her eyes eloquently expressed her surprise and approval of his choice. When her eyes moved over to Mingi she couldn’t hold back the joy filled laugh and grin that came out of her. The little faux tux front and black tie was a perfect mix of saucy and cute. It brought an idea to her head that she filed away for just a little later. Her eyes finally took in all the toys and sex-cessories they had gotten at the store and she let out an approving, oh my.
“Where should we start?” Yunho asked, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at Mingi.
“Can I tie her hands to the head of the bed?” Mingi suggested.
“Good idea,” Yunho nodded, passing him the white satin ties that had come in the Let’s Play Together box. She happily settled back into the bed, finding a comfortable position she would be fine staying in for the next little while. Mingi took her hand, tying it first around her wrist and then making a bow around one of the bars of the headboard. He did the same on the other side before poking her in the ribs lightly to tickle her and test the bonds with a giggle. She jerked in response, but the binds held.
“Hey,” she protested.
“Sorry, love,” He gave her an apologetic kiss. “I’ll be good; I just wanted to check.”
“I want to try the body dust,” Yunho decided, picking up the little tub and matching feather duster.
“I’ll take the edible oil,” Mingi said as he looked through the selection of flavors. “Maybe our girl should taste like raspberry? Or mango?”
“Why not try both?” Yunho chuckled as he moved to kneel beside her upper body. He opened the little canister and dipped the tip of the feathers in the powder inside. Once a little had been gathered there, he brushed them teasingly over her breasts. The tickle of the feathers over her nipples raised goosebumps over her skin and had her legs moving restlessly as she shifted under the touch.
“Does that feel good?” Yunho asked, running his fingers over the sheer layer of pale powder it left behind.
“Yeah,” she nodded, letting her head fall back again.
“Let’s see how it tastes,” He wiggled his eyebrows at her and leaned down to suck one of her nipples into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the nub and the soft skin that surrounded it. “Mmmm, strawberries.” He hummed against her. “You want to try it?” The question was directed to the other boy.
“I’m going to try this,” Mingi shook his head as he pulled out the dropper from one of the oils and let two drops land on her stomach and the crease of her thigh. He stretched out beside her and used a finger to spread the light oil over her skin. Blowing a breath over it made a sudden warmth bloom where the oil was.
“Oooohhh,” she shivered, feeling his warm hand hold her leg down before brushing his lips over it. Pulling back, he licked his lips, an expression of wonder coming over his face.
“That tastes so good,” Mingi murmured, going back for more. She whimpered as they used her as a tasting board, a flavor carrier, finding every tender spot and every sensitive nerve ending.
“Trade?” Yunho suggested, offering the canister and feather duster, exchanging it for the raspberry oil. He shifted down to her lower body as Mingi moved upwards. They traded objects and positions but continued the same pleasureable torture. Her skin tingled with the sensations they were sending through her. It was the sweetest torture she could imagine. She pulled at the restraints, wanting to touch them, to hold and guide their heads. With a grimace and a sigh she closed her eyes, trying to relax and not pull at the restraints.
“You okay, love?” Mingi asked, holding her around the ribs lightly.
“Yeah,” she assured him. “Just trying to remember not to pull so much.”
“Do you want me to let you out?” He offered.
“No, no,” she quickly shook her head. “I want it, I’ll be good.”
“You’re always good,” Mingi chuckled, kissing her cheek.
“I try,” she puckered her lips, inviting him to kiss her. He took the invitation and lowered his face to hers, initiating a kiss that slowly built from a soft brush of lips to a hungry battle of tongues. Mingi eventually pulled away, returning to playing with the dust and the feathers by making a path for him to kiss and taste his way across her body.
Yunho busied himself drawing a winding trail up and down her legs. He was enjoying running raspberry flavored kisses over a number of her sensitive and often overlooked erogenous zones like the arch of her foot, the back of her knee, and her inner thigh. The slight warmth and the mouthwatering flavor combined to make for a fun meandering journey over her body. Her reactions, the breathy moans, the twitches and jerks when they found her most sensitive spots, made it all the more fun.
“So wet already, love,” he teased, bringing a little of her moisture to his lips. “Are you ready for more?”
“Yes,” she replied quickly and with a firmness that laid bare her building desperation for them. He brought his mouth to her, licking up the slick line of her aroused body, teasing her gently. Watching her up the line of her body, he let his tongue slip inside her. She shivered at the intrusion, tugging at her binds. Yunho smirked, loving how reactive she was to their touch. He locked his lips around her clit, sucking and swiping his tongue over it. She moaned, her thighs squeezing around his head until he used his hands to spread them wide again pressing them to the bed.
“I wonder,” he said, briefly taking his mouth off her. He slid two fingers under the straps around her thighs, using the leather to hold her legs to the bed. “I knew this would be useful as well as just plain hot.” With a chuckle, he dove back into eating her, determined to make her cum on his mouth while she lay pinned to the bed and Mingi continued his licking exploration of every inch of her body.
Mingi half watched as Yunho consumed her, complementing his movements to the intensity of his attentions. As her arousal drew near its peak, Mingi ran his fingers over her arms and brought his lips to hers, wanting to taste her cries as she came against the mouth of the other boy. She squirmed against the binds straining to reach and touch them, desperate to get closer. As the feeling washed over her.
“Mingi, can you let her wrists go? I think we’re going to want her to be able to move around a bit...for now at least.” His voice ended with playful promise that the satin would come back. Mingi nodded and quickly pulled the satin bows undone, but left the ties around her wrists. She relaxed with a sigh, letting her arms move to rest below her breasts. Mingi stretched out beside her, rubbing slow circles over her stomach as he looked down at her.
Though he could have continued this explorations for hours, Yunho could feel his own impatience rising. He wanted to use the cock ring and waiting too long might mean he wouldn’t be able to today. He reached for the long thin tube that had been included in the sensation set. It was a warming gel that was supposed to enhance her pleasure by warming and sensitizing her clit. He ran his fingers over the lips at the apex of her thighs, spreading them and testing her residual slickness.
“You ready for more, love?” Yunho asked, running his hands up and down her thighs in a soothing motion. 
“Yeah,” she sighed, though not making the effort to open her eyes as she replied.
“Let’s try this out,” he opened the tube and took a small amount of the gel and rubbed it against her clit. It let off a slightly cinnamon like scent as he spread it over the small nub.
“Oh,” she moaned, eyes widening slightly.
“How does that feel?” Yunho asked, moving his fingers in slow, small circles.
“Good,” her voice was tight. “Warm and a little odd, but good.” Yunho sat up, letting the gel do its work as he found one of the cock rings and the lube among the toys, sliding it on himself. He handed the other to Mingi before stretching out beside her and stroking himself a little.
“Do you think you can take us both again?” He asked, guiding her hand to him, asking her to help him reach full hardness. She nodded, turning on her side to face him more fully. “Here.” He rolled her on him, her legs straddling his hips.  Yunho adjusted himself, half sitting, half laying under her and tied her wrist to the headboard again. She rolled her hips over his length, looking for friction. Behind her, Mingi grabbed her hips, tucking the curve of her backside in against him.
“You ready for me?” Mingi asked, fondling her along the lines of her harness around her waist and legs.
“Yes,” she teased him by rubbing herself back against his erection. “I want you in me.”
“Okay, baby, relax for me,” he squeezed her ass gently before picking up the lube to slick her up and work her open for him. Yunho slid his head between her lips, gathering her moisture on him and preparing to enter her. She moaned as he brushed her sensitive clit, warmed and begging for stimulation.
“Mingi can you pass me the toy for our girl?” Yunho asked, deciding here was a good place to try it out and help her relax for both of them. Mingi passed him the vibrator, equally curious to see her reaction to it. Yunho spread some lube across the silicon of the toy and turned it on it’s lowest setting. He pressed it against her lightly and she jerked back slightly.
“Does that feel good?” Mingi asked from behind as he felt her move.
“Yes,” she shivered as Yunho pressed it against her again. Mingi slid a finger in her and Yunho dipped the tip of his erection in her as the vibrations teased her. It was an overwhelming mix of sensations rippling through her body. She leaned forward and gripped the headboard tighter with her fingers.  Yunho continued to test, placing the toy in different places without placing firmly against her clit.
Soon Mingi was slipping himself inside her tight hole, having prepared her for the invasion with the help of the pleasurable distraction provided by Yunho. When he was fully seated, Yunho glided into her from beneath, pulling her down on him. Her body was tight around him as he moved deeper inside her. He felt Mingi’s knees quiver at the sensation of him brushing against him from the inside. When he was finally as deep as he could go, he changed the setting on the vibrator to a more targeted stimulation, teasing her with light pulses near, but not on her clit.
She held herself still as they moved inside her, concentrating on holding herself up. Her whole body felt tender and alive after the lengthy attention she had received from their playful tasting of her and the oils and the dust. Everything ached and she felt stretched tight around them as the vibrations of the toy almost gave her the rush of pleasure she wanted so much. With every move her skin rushed with waves of feeling hot and cold or, somehow, both at the same time. The muscles of her thighs burned as they involuntarily squeezed against Yunho’s hips as he thrust into her.
Yunho pressed the toy firmly against her clit, letting the waves pulse into her body. He felt her body quiver around him in reaction, her inner muscles teasing the build of her orgasm. Pulling it away, he watched as her face twisted at the denial of sensation and her body tensed. The rise of her orgasm faded slightly, becoming a background rush centered on the friction they were providing her. That soft and familiar pleasure enveloped her like a comfortable blanket as Mingi’s hands moved to help support her as he thrust.
Yunho brought the toy back, slipping it between their bodies, teasing her with indirect stimulation again. He tested as he moved it around her, learning to read her body’s reaction and the tone of her moans. He wanted to bring her close, to make her ride that edge close to orgasm but deny her the relief of reaching it until he was closer. He wanted to draw it out as long as he could last.
Behind her, he could feel Mingi increase his pace, sliding into her as deeply as he could. With his free hand, Yunho reached to give the other boy’s thigh a soothing stroke, silently communicating that there was no rush. Mingi’s hips stuttered and he slowed his movements. Yunho focused on teasing her, keeping his movements inside her at an almost lazy pace. The tightness of her body and the stroke of Mingi against him through her provided more than enough stimulation to continue to bring his own orgasm ever closer.
“How you feeling, love?” Yunho asked, bringing the toy back to give her clit a barely there touch.
“G-good,” she stuttered out. “Please...more…”
“You want this?” He pressed the toy against her more firmly and was rewarded with a gasp as she threw back her head. “If I let you cum now, do you think you could cum again after I do.”
“Yeah,” she agreed quickly, perhaps without considering her answer. “Please…”
“Anything you want, love,” Yunho thrust faster, enjoying the fluttering of her muscles around him. “Squeeze me until I cum love. Let me fill you.” She let out a long moan, her whole body quivering as she came apart. Yunho held the toy against her as she came until she sucked in a breath and grimaced, shifting away from the sensation.
For the moment he set the toy aside, thrusting harder into her as he felt Mingi do the same. Waves of aftershocks rolled through her as they moved, as they touched the deepest parts of her. Mingi reached around, stroking her labia and feeling Yunho thrust between his fingers as he pressed against her pubic bone. 
The aftershocks of her orgasm blended into the building of another. She looked into  Yunho’s face below her as he moved faster, biting his lip as he felt his own orgasm drawing near. His face grew taught as the sensations grew overwhelming. She wanted to reach out to him, put her hand on his heart and feel its beat. She wanted to put her hands on Mingi where he held her as he moved, his pants teasing in her ear.
“Are you close… both of you?” She managed to grate out as an overwhelming pleasure began to grip her. 
“Yes,” Mingi growled near her ear. “God you feel so good around me.”
“I love you, so much,” she breathed, sagging as a tingling weakness began to build in her limbs even as her heart sped at her rising pleasure.
“So good to take us both,” Yunho praised, his hand moving to cup her breast and run his fingers over the leather there. “Just one more time,” he urged, picking up the toy again. She stiffened as the vibrator sent a shock of pleasure through her exhausted body. She clenched around them with an almost painful intensity. Yunho groaned and released himself inside her, bottoming out and holding her hips flush with his as he filled her.
Mingi followed after a few thrusts, holding her to his chest as he did. He loved the feel of her around him, of Yunho still pressed against him from the other side. Her chest heaved and her limbs quivered as the toy stayed wedged between her and Yunho. As the peak of her orgasm passed, the feel went from a nearly painful pleasure to the grating discomfort of overstimulation.
“Please… make it stop…” she managed to beg through chattering teeth. Her words penetrated the post orgasm haze that had enveloped Yunho and he took the vibrator from between them. Turning it off and tossing it on the bed beside him. Mingi loosened his grip on her and she sagged, unable to support her own weight. Weakness suffused her limbs. Mingi caught her and Yunho moved quickly to release her hands from the ties that were keeping them on the headboard. No longer held up by the satin bows, her arms fell limply onto the pillows near Yunho’s head.
“Babe,” Mingi said softly, moving to pull out and let her lie down. She sucked in a sharp breath at the move.
“Don’t move,” she breathed tightly. “I can’t take…”
“It’s okay love,” Yunho soothed, putting his arms up to catch her, to help take some of her weight from Mingi. She whimpered as they lowered her to lie on Yunho’s chest. Mingi pulled back, sliding himself out of her as she let out a distressed moan. Yunho could feel her stomach clench against him and he put a soothing hand on her back. Mingi crawled onto the bed beside them and started to remove the ties around her wrists and to undo the straps of her  harnesses that he could reach. He knew they needed to get her cleaned up and these had to come off to do that. The skin under the thigh straps were pink and slick, where the leather had dug slightly into her skin.
“Babe, we need to get you in a bath again,” Mingi told her softly. “I need to get these off first though.” Yunho helped to lift her up enough to take the chest harness away and twisted the belt slightly around her waist until he could reach the buckle. “I’m going to pick you up now, babe. Just gotta get you in the bath.” He rolled her off Yunho towards him until he could lift her into his arms. With her lifted off him, Yunho moved to get the bath ready for her while Mingi held her. He scooped the wilted petals out of the bottom of the tub before he started filling it again, lighting the candles around the edge.
Mingi stepped into the tub, sinking both of them in the water. He turned her in his lap so that she was resting against him, her face resting on his shoulder, as she straddled his legs. He ran a soothing hand over her back, murmuring to her as the water filled in around them.
“Are you okay, love,” Yunho asked, crouching on the floor beside the tub. She lifted an unsteady hand towards his face. He caught it, pressing it to his cheek with a smile.
“I’m okay,” she promised hoarsely.
“I’ll leave you with our best boy here and clean up and make us some food.” Yunho said softly. He took her hand from his face, lifting it instead to his lips for a soft kiss. It was then he noticed the faint bruises that were blooming on her wrists. His stomach clenched at the thought they had been too rough with her, they had hurt her. Standing up, he went to the shower, quickly cleaning himself so that he could work on making it up to her.
Mingi stayed with her in the warm water, washing the stickiness and residues of their afternoon from her body with gentle hands. She sat up to let him wash her chest and arms and Mingi finally spotted the marks on her wrists. He carefully washed and rinsed her skin, lifting her hands to look at the marks there.
“Babe, why didn’t you say something about this,” he sighed, fingering the bruises lightly.
“I didn’t notice,” she shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed. “I was thinking about other things at the time.”
“I never want to hurt our precious girl,” Mingi pressed a kiss to first one eyelid and then another.
“It’s not really any different than this,” she brought her fingers up to one of the marks on her neck. “It looks worse than it is and I enjoyed getting it.”
“You’re sure,” he pressed, lacing his fingers with hers and kissing her knuckles. “You promise you’ll tell us if… if it hurts.”
“I promise I’ll always tell you if something hurts or if I don’t like it,” she agreed, brushing her lips against his. “And the same goes for you both as well.”
“Maybe we need a safe word or something,” Mingi decided. “What do you think?”
“Probably wise,” she agreed, getting a thoughtful look. “What about wallaby?”
“Well, you’ll never have another reason to say that in bed,” he admitted. “Which I suppose is sort of the point. Good choice.”
Yunho rejoined them in the bathroom, his face surprisingly serious as he knelt by the tub to ask if she was ready to get out. She nodded, trying to stand on wobbly legs and managing with the help of Mingi, who carefully passed her to Yunho and his fluffy towel. Yunho dried her off with gentle hands before lifting her into his arms and carrying her back to the now cleanly dressed and clear bed. He slipped a t-shirt over her head and tucked her in under the blankets. Taking a glass of water from the bedside table, he offered her the drink, keeping a hand on the glass until he was sure her grip was steady enough to hold it. He couldn’t keep his eyes from falling to her wrists. 
“Yunho, you okay?” She asked, seeing the expression he couldn’t hide.
“I’m so sorry,” a pained look filled his eyes before he looked down at the bed, unable to meet her gaze. 
“Why, love, what do you have to be sorry for?” She chided.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, especially not today,” his throat burned and tears blurred his vision.
“You didn’t hurt me, my Yuyu,” she reached out, cupping his cheeks. “It’s just a couple of marks. They don’t even hurt.”
“I should have been more careful,” he shook his head. “I was careless, I even just left the vibrator on you when I came. So careless.”
“And when I said you needed to move it, you did,” she pointed out.
“I shouldn’t have--” he began, fiddling with his fingers in his lap.
“Okay, okay… wallaby,” she interrupted, throwing her hands up. The incongruity of the exclamation startled him into looking at her face, his wide eyes blinking. “See, you listen to me when I use my safeword.” She beamed at him, pulling his nervous hands into her own. “Mingi and I thought it was a good idea to maybe have one, so I picked that one.”
“When?” Yunho asked, still a little lost and blinking.
“In the bath,” she shrugged with a laugh.
“Ahh,” he nodded, finally smiling at her. “Well I’ll definitely remember it.”
“I had fun today,” she pulled at him, coaxing him to curl up beside her.
“Really?” Yunho asked, wanting to be reassured.
“Mm-hmm. Ask me if I’d do it again,” she elbowed him lightly.
“Would you do it again?” He asked, lacing his fingers with hers.
“As soon as my limbs start working again,” she nodded with absolute confidence.
“Tired?” He looked down at her, trying to read how she was really doing.
“Yeah but I’m more feeling sort of jello-y and weak,” she admitted. “It’s a good thing you two are pampering me today because I’m not sure I’d make it down the hall right now, much less be able to stand long enough to make myself some dinner.”
“Are you hungry?” Yunho sat up a little straighter.
“Mmmm,” she nodded. “Can I have some juice though, first? I’m feeling a little jittery still.”
“Yeah,” Yunho nodded and slid off the side of the bed. “I’ll be right back.” He jogged down the hall to find Mingi already in the kitchen working on the dinner they had planned. He was standing at the stove in his boxers checking that there was still water in the bottom of the pan that was steaming the artichokes.
“Have I told you today that I love you?” Yunho said coming up behind the other boy to give him a back hug while he worked.
“I think so,” Mingi’s brow furrowed slightly while he honestly tried to remember. “When we were making breakfast.”
“Good, good,” Yunho grinned. “I should remember to tell you that more often.”
“I know it even when you don’t say it,” Mingi assured him, giving his cheek a kiss. “Did you come to help or…”
“I was sent to get juice for our girl,” Yunho replied, pulling back and getting a cup from the cabinets. “She said she was hungry too, but she wanted juice first.”
“I figured we could all use some food after all that,” Mingi nodded. “Can you stick the mashed potatoes in the microwave before you go?” Yunho pulled the tub of premade mashed potatoes out of the fridge and put it in the microwave on a low, long setting to reheat then padded down the hall, glass of juice in hand. He found her in bed where he had left her, staring into space with an enigmatic smile.
“Juice as ordered,” he said, passing it to her.
“Thank you,” she said as she accepted it.
“What were you thinking about with that grin?” He asked after she had taken a sip.
“Nothing important,” she shook her head. “Just thinking about how lucky I am.”
“Sounds like important stuff to me,” he teased.
“Yeah, I guess it is, isn’t it?” she agreed. 
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daydream-believin · 4 years ago
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Never-Ending Roadtrip (Autumn in New York, pt 1)
Summary: (ch 1)  (ch 10) Reader joins Douxie in the quest for Nari’s safety. He’ll need company won’t he? - chapter 9) new york tourism and some relaxation for a stressed-out emo wizard
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol mention, implied nudity (just a bath)
Word Count: 3542
A/n: Go listen to ‘autumn in new york’ by ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong to set the mood for this chapter and the next lol. i do like lovecore i promise. also this was going to be it but ive split it up. enjoy
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Douxie was very careful to take inventory. One head, two head, dragon head, his own head. All accounted for. Four heads, no more no less. Not even a pesky stowaway gnome. His family was together. Up in the air, on the ship, winding blowing through their hair. Douxie could see sky scrapers on the horizon.
The trolls had been cordial in their goodbyes, but made no effort in giving the impression that they wanted the wizard family to stay any longer than they had. In fact, it was discouraged if not outright. The trolls almost gave off an aura of relief when they faded from view of the settlement. But that was understandable. Douxie’s family had caused a bit of trouble during their stay.
Bagdwella was certain that Archie was a bad omen for her shop and would freak out whenever he tried to enter. Y/n had been a bit confused and tried to explain to her that black cats were in fact supposed to bring wealth, not financial ruin, but apparently Bagdwella had been thinking of an old trollish superstition about dragons instead. Y/n had no counter to that.
Nari had no real knowledge of how money worked, and was determined to make that Douxie’s problem. And the problem of all the trolls in the shops of the town. There was a bit of a problem with her “dining and dashing” in the pub, the one troll eatery in the still developing town. Poor thing had no idea food costs money. Someone had always been around to feed her. Douxie and Y/n almost couldn’t keep up with the demand of sweaty socks they had to produce in order to pay the annoyed barman. Turns out it was somewhat hard to make sweaty socks when you’re actually trying to. It was like their feet realized what was happening and couldn’t pass up an attempt to make their owner’s lives harder.
As much as dear Y/n prided herself on being tolerant, she and Dictatious were going round and round. It was easier to ignore the guy when she didn’t have to live in close quarters with him but that luxury was lost on this stay in Trollmarket. Y/n and Dic argued every time they were in close proximity. She couldn’t help it. The old troll had opinions, and those opinions were wrong. And don’t even get Y/n started on how sad and then angry he made Blinky feel with the whole dead, wait not dead just an evil traitor, wait now he’s okay somewhat, thing. And his personality was shit. Peace was never an option.
Needless to say the trolls were in fact happy to send off the wizards. Douxie was happy to no longer suddenly hear a clatter and then instantly get a headache knowing it was probably one of his problems. They had only been in Trollmarket a few days. Okay so a week, they had stayed there a week. It was only seven days. Eight actually. So to say, they hadn’t been there long enough to cause any real problems. And now they were headed to New York. New York New York.
Douxie was ready to get some quality romance in with his wife. Autumn in New York was perfect for that. The city streets glowed with life. A nice stroll down the sidewalks painted in golden light, arm in arm, carrying the warmth in their hearts and bodies with them, was just what they needed. There were lots of sights to see, and Y/n loved to see them. And it was heavily populated, which would make it safer. Safe was something greatly needed.
For some reason, ever since that one night in the forest, Doux had felt like watching his back. It was tiresome, always being on edge. Of course, he had been this whole trip. But recently it had been amplified. Douxie didn’t know if he was sensing the Order’s presence or if being wed had turned up his protective instincts up to an eleven, but it really would be fantastic to be in a safer environment. He was crossing his fingers New York was one.
Just outside of city limits, the boat was shrunken into a little toy and placed back inside of it’s bottle. The little bottle fit neatly in the backpack that Y/n was wearing. Everything fit neatly into the backpack that Y/n was wearing. It was charmed. Doux would rather it be in hers than his, just as a peace of mind. A quick getaway for her lest they ever be separated. He wasn’t too worried about himself. Nari clung to her side, so it would also be best to keep it with her in order to protect Nari. Yeah, that was totally the reason.
They hailed a cabbie and took it into the bustling city. Douxie had pulled a couple strings with his old buddies, and managed to get them an apartment to stay in. The owner wouldn’t be back for a few weeks, and was happy to have someone to house sit for her. Douxie was happy to have a roof over his family’s head he didn’t have to pay for. It was a win-win.
Y/n never stopped looking out the window the entire cab ride. Douxie thought her excitement was adorable. She had her arm stretched over Nari in the middle to be able to hold his hand. The veggie lady didn’t mind. She was also focused on the view out the windows, fascinated by the sheer number of cars and the heights of the tall buildings. Douxie could feel Y/n’s wedding ring as she squeezed his hand. It helped calm him.
This apartment was owned by a starlet. It was huge, for New York standards. It was really high up, which made Douxie a wee bit nervous. Eleventh floor. It was eccentrically decorated, with bright colors. There was a wall in the living space that was a floor-to-ceiling window, covered by pale pink curtains and strings of heart-shaped beads. The other walls had a wallpaper that was white with red rose motifs. The couch was bright cherry red, furry, and oddly shaped. The kitchen cabinets were painted hot pink, with frosted glass doors that bore a rose pattern. The refrigerator was also cherry red, with white and pink heart-shaped stickers stuck onto it. Everything was fucking red, white, or pink. It looked like Saint Valentine himself threw up. Douxie was afraid to see what the bedroom looked like.
Douxie checked the fridge. Yeah, it was empty, apart from the box of takeaway from who knows when and the three bottles of wine. To be expected, of a single young up-and-comer, one supposes. They would have to go get groceries. Archie was making biscuits on the fluffy surface of the couch. It was probably very soft, Douxie had yet to touch it himself. He was kind of afraid of it, to be honest. Nari seemed to also like it, and was spread out on the top, limbs hanging over the back of the couch. Y/n opened the curtains a bit and was staring out the window. Doux headed for the bedroom, to go see what they were working with.
The bedroom was not in any way tamer than the open living space, but at least it wasn’t as bad as Douxie was expecting with the ah, love theme this place had going. It could have been worse. It was fluffy, pink, and glittery, but at least it was rated PG. Apart from the heart-shaped bed, it looked like it could have been a dressing room. There was a vanity with lights ringing the mirror and one of those dressing screens in the corner with several feather boas hanging over it like some kind of cliché movie set. Douxie was setting his backpack down, as he sat on the side of the bed turned away from the door, when he heard someone go into the en suite. And then he heard various noises of,, happy surprise? Sounded like Y/n.
“DEWDROP! THERES A HEART-SHAPED TUB. A FUCKING HEART-SHAPED TUB. COME LOOK.”
Bleeding balroths. Douxie rolled his eyes as he stood up from the comfy feather mattress to go see what she was shouting at him about. The tiles that covered the bathroom were annoyingly pink. The air smelled like something he could only describe as pink. Sure enough, there was a heart-shaped tub like someone’s cheesy honeymoon suite, and his wife was already in it, despite it not having any water. She wore an all too familiar cheshire cat grin on her face. He had one word for this.
“No.”
“Whatever.” Y/n stuck her tongue out childishly. “You’ll change your mind tonight. You will join me in the incredibly fragrant heart-shaped bubble bath, Dewdrop. Mark my words.”
~ ~ ~ As a first stop on the itinerary, they decided on Central park. Some greenery for Nari. And for Y/n too. Trees were good for the soul and one should never spend too much time on concrete. Gave Archie something to scratch that was not the couch that they did not own. It was fine when he did it in Arcadia, their sofa was old and tattered anyways, but not here in the apartment they were housesitting.
Y/n claimed the walk through nature was necessary to restore the energy lost on the trip into the city. The walkways were paved, and Douxie had to really keep an eye on both Nari and Y/n, who should know better, from wandering off the path. Maybe he should get two baby leashes when they were to shop later. Occasionally they would pass by a café. Douxie was glad he was not working in one of those. This trip was a much-needed vacation, as stressful as it was.
A little ways in and they came across a pond, with a cute little bridge that the walkway went under. Douxie rubbed his hand over the stones as they walked through. It was worn, as many hands had also done so over the decades. This bridge, as old as the park itself, was still younger than him. And it had met so many more people than he could even fathom. Doux himself had met so many people over the years. He had been touched by many too, like this little bridge. And just like the people who touched this bridge, none of them quite knew the impact they would be leaving. What they were wearing down. He heard a happy squeal as Y/n and Nari made a sudden sprint ahead of him. Apparently, there were ducks in this pond.
The Met was just a few minutes’ walk from where they exited the park. Douxie was happy with the idea of a quiet art museum trip, that sounded peaceful and relaxing. He needed all the peaceful and relaxing he could get right now. Y/n was actually really excited about this one despite it being not that exciting of an activity. She was trying to psych up Nari. “It’ll be fun, we can pretend we’re a gang of art thieves and we’re doing recon for a heist.” The veggie lady had no idea what any of those words meant.
There were lots of paintings in the Met gallery. It contained multitudes. One painting, they passed as they walked down the corridors, Y/n stopped, transfixed, stared at the painting for a few minutes, and then carried on like nothing happened. She didn’t look particularly sad, or happy, just confused, like she was processing something. Douxie made a mental note to ask her about it later.
Next stop was a walk down Fifth Avenue. It’s not like they could afford to shop, but it was a must-do in NYC so they must-did. They walked holding hands with Nari in the middle like their child. She liked looking in all the window displays. Every so often she would stop to stare and they would tug her along. The trees lining the sidewalks presented their autumn colors. The oranges and golds gave the streets a cheery vibe.
They passed a few food trucks. The trucks were filling the air with various delicious aromas. Douxie’s stomach growled loudly. Y/n giggled and suggested they pick a truck for lunch. Douxie had his eye on a fish and chips truck. It didn’t make ‘em quite like you could get in London but it was trying. A for effort. Y/n thought it was fantastic. Douxie was just spoiled.
They made their way over to the Rockefeller Center, just around the corner. A short walk and Y/n had spotted a coffee shop. So now they were going to a coffee shop. Douxie couldn’t help it, she looked at him with such big eyes. What was he supposed to do, say no?
The coffee shop was warm, and much appreciated relief from the autumn chill that had taken over. And a nice warm drink was sorely needed. Y/n found a nice couch in the back of the shop. Douxie sunk in, deeper than he expected to be able to sink in, but it was an old couch sunk into by many people. It was cozy. The love of thousands made it the sofa the way that it was. Love had made it squishy, love had made it comfy. Speaking of love and squishy and comfy, Doux pulled his dear wife Y/n to his side in an embrace. Low-key cuddling on the coffee shop couch was the best part of Douxie’s day. Nice, relaxing, he needed this. He pressed a kiss to the top of Y/n’s hair.
The Top of the Rock is an observatory deck in Rockefeller Center. Very high up in the air, one can see a great view of the city skyline and get a peek at that famous empire state building. Archie didn’t really care about it, he could get aerial sights any time he wanted, so he took this time to take a nap. Y/n leaned close to the glass, amazed and getting slightly wooed by the city. Douxie slung his arm around her, and, under the guise of affection, pulled her a few steps back. She really was hell-bent on stopping his fragile heart. And then Nari just straight up put her hands, paws, on the glass and put her body weight on the window. Nope. Douxie made sure to ask her to step away from the glass nicely, lest he frighten her, but still tried to convey that what she was doing was something he saw as dangerous and it worried him. Doux was very happy when they were back on the ground.
Douxie liked people watching. So did Y/n. It was one of the things the used to do on weekends in Arcadia, strangely enough. It wasn’t weird. All those people, they all had lives of their own. They all had stories they were living, and it was interesting to glimpse just a small insignificant piece of it. Or sometimes even significant. It was always hard to tell as an outsider, whether or not an ordinary moment was really the turning point of someone’s life. NYC’s famous Times Square was perfect for people watching.
There was something odd about it. The square itself felt wrong. A hundred neon advertisements all at one time. Not an inch of surface didn’t bare the name of a brand. There was something profoundly sad about it. One might even go as far as say disgusting. And there were many, many signs and people. Douxie tried not to attempt to take it all in at once, lest he risk sensory overload. The sun had already set, the brightly lit signs were brighter than ever. There were so many people around them. There were some buskers, some even playing at the same time, so the music clashed. Perhaps there was too much life here. It was loud, and Doux liked loud, but he liked harmonious loud, like music and excitement, not the chaotic loud that surrounded him. He made sure he could see Nari, that she was close to them. Douxie squeezed Y/n’s hand. He thought maybe he should just pay attention to her, tune out everything else. The lights made a brilliant halo around her gorgeous face as she turned to him. The beautiful goddess he called his wife’s eyes searched his, and she noticed he was not so comfy.
“C’mon, let’s go get some dinner.”
They walked away from the square for a few minutes, putting some distance between them and it’s light, before coming across a pizza place for dinner. It was good. The classic, New York slice. And it was pizza. Y/n would admit, it wasn’t special. She actually liked the pizza from the local pizza place in Arcadia Oaks way better. Douxie and Archie agreed with her. But don’t tell any New Yorker’s that. The main thing is that they got a nice dinner, and it helped Douxie calm down. There were only a few other people in the restaurant. The booth they were in was off to the side, away from everything. Y/n stroked Douxie’s palm with her thumb. Archie sat in his lap and purred. He appreciated them.
They’d had a long day. It was best to get home. Once opening up the cherry red door the valentine’s day décor assaulted their eyes once again. This would be okay for the time being but Douxie had no idea how someone could dwell here full time. As he plopped down on the furry couch, he noticed for the first time the numerous little cherub figurines that littered every available surface. It might be interesting to meet this starlet one day. She seemed to have a cupid schtick going. She probably looked the part too.
As soon as they crossed the threshold, Y/n had made a sneaky beeline for the bathroom and that honeymoon suite style tub. Douxie rolled his eyes fondly and scoffed from his place on the sofa when he heard the water turn on. Of course. He supposed he could use some extra relaxing. But she’d feel like she won. Y/n was gonna make a big deal out of this, he could feel it.
Miss starlet had an unhealthy amount of soap bottles filling the storage space in the bathroom. A dragon hoard of fancy scented soaps. As fun as pouring some various vividly colored, strong and flowery goops into the tub and pretending it was a potion would be, and it would be, Y/n opted to find some more calming aromas for poor Doux. Lavender, lemongrass, and jasmine, were what she was on the hunt for. She managed to find both lavender and jasmine soaps, and a lavender candle. No lemongrass. But Y/n wouldn’t have held her breath on that one. It wasn’t exactly glamorous or glittery.
With the water hot, bubbles high, candles lit, Y/n had crafted a very romantic and relaxing evening. She stood back to admire her work for a moment before going to go get Douxie. He was laying across the couch, using his crossed arms as a pillow, with Archie snoozing on his chest, when she found him.
“Sorry Arch. Find a different pillow for the night?” The dragon-cat understood. That didn’t stop him from throwing a look at the two as he settled back down into the couch’s fluff.
Ignoring Archie, Y/n took Douxie by the hand as she led him back into the room she had set up. The air smelled very strongly of lavender. The pink of the tiles was muted in the dim light, which Douxie was thankful for. Then he noticed the giant fucking mountain of bubbles Y/n had turned the bath into. He supposed she wanted him to get in that. Somehow. They’d have to be careful not to accidentally choke on any bubbles.
Douxie let out a little groan as he slid into the bath. The hot water felt great on his tense muscles, he had to admit. He was feeling better, and more relaxed. He certainly wasn’t anywhere near as stressed as he was in time square anymore, but the tension of this strange combination vacation/flee-for-their-lives-trip was taking its toll on the master wizard. He wouldn’t put it past his hair to start greying soon. A wizard was only ever as old as they felt, after all. And boy, did Douxie’s bones feel old. He laid his head back and closed his eyes. No worries right now. He was safe, Nari was safe, Archie was safe, Y/n was safe. Y/n was right beside him, so extra safe too.
“So, how’s it going.” Y/n laughed at Douxie getting a little lost in the hot water sauce.
“Nuclear.” Douxie opened his eyes to take in his wife’s pretty face he just knew was smiling, he could hear it in her voice. Doux pulled Y/n into his embrace and against his chest. She rested her head on his shoulder. “Thanks. I- I guess I sort of maybe needed this.”
Y/n snickered. “Of course you did. Remember, I’ll always be here to take care of you.” She brought his hand up and kissed his knuckles. “Always, Mr. Casperan.”
“And that goes the same for you, I’ll always take care of you, Mrs. Casperan.”
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always5hineee · 4 years ago
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Hell and Back- Chapter 17: Slide (Trial 23)
Word count: 1138
Chapter warnings: Dangerous actions
[Please do not replicate any of the behaviors read in this book.]
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       "Alright, I've calculated it pretty well," Kyungsoo was saying as they stood by the road, watching the occasional car drive by. "The speed limit here is 55, and it takes you just over a second and a half to run the average width of a car. "A car" being Kris's car. Our two options are to wait until a car drives by, and I'll tell you when to run, or we get Kris to drive up himself."
       "You really trust Kris not to purposely hit you with a car?" Baekhyun asked, elbowing Suho in the side as he surveyed his options. Kyungsoo ignored him, continuing to plot out his ideas.
       "The reason Kai is limited is because of his teleportation abilities. He's the only one who'd be able to pull you out fast enough so that you wouldn't be hit. Without him, it's a matter of planning."
       "How soon does he have to run out there, though?" Chanyeol asked.        
       "And does he have to stand in front of the car, or is he supposed to run out past it?" Lay added as well.
       "I don't know," Y/N concluded, looking at the phone. "We'll only know once we try it. There's no other prerequisites listed. I don't understand why it's not more specific."
       "Maybe we can ask it for more details?" Tao suggested, not wanting to have to do this more than once. The more times Suho had to run out there, the higher his likelihood of getting hurt was. Still, in the realm of dangerous tasks, it wasn't impossible. That had seemed to be the pattern recently with them- not fatal, but risky. Very college frat-esque.
       "I can see." Y/N said skeptically. She figured that if the game wanted to give them any more details, it would have. In typing in her questions, she saw the loading bubble show up for a moment, then disappear, leaving nothing in its place. Confused, she tried it again- still nothing. After a few re-types and trying different wordings, she shook her head.
       "It's not giving us anything. We'll just have to try our best."
       "All jokes aside, wouldn't it be safer to have Kris drive?" Xiumin pointed out. "If he jumps out in front of a random car, there's no guarantee they'll stop in time. At least if we have him do it, he'll be aware."
       "Or he'll just stop too soon and we'll have to do it again." Sehun countered.
       "No, I think Xiumin has the right idea." Y/N said. "Worst case scenario, we just have to keep trying until we get it right. It doesn't specify whose car it has to be."
       "But at the same time, wouldn't it be more and more risky the more times he has to do it?"
       "No, I like that idea." Suho said. "We'll have Kris drive over the hill, come back down, and I'll run past his car. If the app tells us that's not alright, it'll give us a reason. Then we can figure it out from there." Kris pulled the keys out of his pocket, jingling them.
       "On it. Anyone want a ride?"
       "I'll come." Tao offered, earning a strange gaze from Kris.
       "...Really?"
       "It'll be easier to undo the damage if I'm in the car." He explained. "I'm just trying to be prepared." Shrugging, Kris accepted, opening the door and sitting in, revving up the engine. Pulling out onto the road, he moved to the left, indicating that it would also be the direction he came from. Suho readied himself, mentally trying to make sure that he'd run across with enough time left.
       Positioning with one leg in front of the other, his shoulders tensed up as he heard the distant hum of an engine. Looking down the road, she saw the hood of a car pull up over the hill, barreling towards them. She forgot how fast cars went. The white of the metal was causing a glint, the afternoon sun molding into early evening too bright for her eyes.
       Wait... white?!
       "Suho, stop!" She yelled as he ran forward into the street executing their plan. Instinctively, when he heard her voice cry out, he stopped, spinning on his heel to look at her. The only problem with that was that he was standing directly in the middle of the road. The reason she had shouted at him to stop was because the car driving towards him was not Kris's, and therefore had no idea what was going on.
       The woman driving the vehicle slammed on her brakes, trying to pull onto the opposite side of the road to avoid him. She ended up spinning out, coming to a halt at a horizontal position to him as he stood, eyes wide, frozen like a deer on the asphalt. Running over to him, she grabbed his elbow, shaking him.
       "Suho, are you okay?!"
       "What the hell?!" A female voice shrieked from the now open door of the white vehicle. It seemed like the automobile was fine, but she was obviously angry. She must have been in her mid forties or fifties, hair evidently dyed a fake shade of blonde with the roots just barely showing. "What do you think you're doing, you idiot kids?!"
       "We're sorry, ma'am!" Suho started to say. "See, there's this-" Panicking for the second time in a matter of seconds, reaching to slap a hand over his mouth.
       "He didn't see you coming!" She said, laughing awkwardly. "He's a little slow, if that uh... she glanced over to him. "Makes sense."
       "I don't care what sort of nut job he is! He could have been killed! Don't you-" As she was chewing them out, Kris's much nicer car pulled up, quickly slowing to a stop as he and Tao partially realized what was going on. Lay jerked his hand towards the vehicle, indicating to the other members to get in while the lady was distracted. Seeing them move out of the corner of her eye, Y/N desperately tried to find away to satiate her and walk away. Finally, growing weary, she grabbed Suho's arm, hanging onto it like an old fashioned woman.
       "Come on, hun, let's get you home."
       "Wait a minute! I'm not-" Before the woman or Suho knew what was happening, she escorted him into the car, opening the passenger side door for him and slipping back in her door, squishing between Kai and Tao (who had since moved to the back).
       "Go!" She commanded Kris, who took a full 180 turn and sped away before the woman could stop them. Breathing in and out heavily, Suho asked,
       "What was that for?"
       "We lose if you tell her about the trials!" She reminded him.
       "I- oh..." Shaking her head, she said,
       "At least we finished the trial."
Go to Chapter 18
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jungkookslittlecookie · 6 years ago
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Night of the Red Moon Ch.2
Genre:Angst, Fluff, Smut(Later On), Supernatural!au, Royalty!au
Description: Ever wondered why the moon turns red and what happens during this time? Curiosity got the best of you princess, now you wonder through the kingdom's forest late during a red moon night. You meet 7 men in black cloaks in the forest, one wore a mask that shone in the night luring you in. What will happen to you and these men... will you regret your actions ? Only the night itself will tell what will happen...
Chapters: 1,2
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"Y/N... please don't ever leave me "  A man whispered.
"I'd never leave you. I promise that I'll be with you forever."
“Then promise me that one day you'll marry me."
“I promise, I'll marry you one day." He placed a ring onto my finger as a promise.
"Please don't forget about this promise because I'll be back one day and make sure that this promise is fulfilled." He gave me a kiss.
"I love you ..."
*KNOCK KNOCK*(On my door)(Sorry, please continue)
Y/N POV
   I woke up to the sound of one of my maids knocking on my door. I looked out my balcony to see that the sun was just barely rising in the horizon. "Your Highness, I'm sorry to wake you but your parents would like to see you down in the dinning room once you get dressed. Your bath has already been made." "Alright thank you." Then, I remembered the dream that I had and somthing about it gave me a weird feeling like it  actually happened. That voice that I heard sounded so familiar but I can't remember who it was. "I need to get up!" As I sat up from my bed I noticed something on my nightstand. I picked it up and examined it and that’s when I realized where I recognized this from. "This is from that masked man from last night." This was from the piece on the cheek of the mask. That means that he must of been here last night in my room... I ran to my bathroom and looked in the mirror for any marks that could have been made. I sighed in relief when I realized that there was no marks or any sign of him touching me. "What was he doing here last night then?" I thought.
"Stop thinking about this and get ready, mother and father are waiting for you." I quickly undressed and got into the bath waiting for me. I shivered when I entered due to the water being cold probably because I waited too long to get in.  After cleaning up, I got out of the bath and dried off while getting dressed into a dark blue ball gown with beautiful off-shoulder lace sleeves.
After I finished getting dress, I headed down stairs towards the dinning room where my parents were waiting. When I walked into the dinning room I seen that my parents were talking to one of the neighboring kings. "Good morning Y/N"
"Good Morning your highness. I'm sorry if I interrupted something”
"No, it's quite alright but it's a good thing that you're here now because there are some matters that we must take care. So please take a seat." I took a seat and that's when I noticed the thick tension in the air. "You may not know this Y/N but there has been some tension with other kingdoms as of right now and it's possible a war may break out. I need you to stay safe because you are the first in line for the throne and you are my only daughter." My father spoke and took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry to be having to be doing this but I have no choice but to keep you in the palace for your safety and if you are to leave this palace you must have guards present with you at all times." My eyes widened. "Father, please don't do this. There's no visible danger other than some disagreements between our kingdoms." I didn't want to be held up in this castle and even if I did get to leave the castle I didn't want to be constantly monitored. "I'm sorry but this is my only option, I can't loose you..." I then remembered what Jin told me last night when I questioned him and realized why my father was being like this so I kept my mouth and nodded in agreement.
"Thank you for understanding Y/N. That is all that we wanted to say thank you for listening." I got up from my seat and bowed while exiting the dinning room.  I headed towards my room knowing that there was very little that I could do.
When I arrived in my room I sat on my bed and picked up the piece of the mask that was laying on my nightstand. My mind keeps traveling back to the thought of this man. I don't know what it is about him but he's just so alluring. I don't even know what his face looks like. I hope that I see him again but this time with the mask off. I wanted to understand what he is and what he's like and what he's capable of. "Could the archives have any books about vampires? I'll look later tonight when there's less people around."
With that I the piece into my nightstand drawer and headed to my lessons with my teachers. My first lesson was history, next was writing, then politics and economics, and many more. When my lessons are over I head to my sword and combat training. My mother was against the idea of me training because she thought that it was very unladylike like but eventually she grew to the idea although part of her still did not enjoy the idea. I didn't want be helpless in combat but even now I still have many ways to grow especially in courage and strength. I showed my weakness last night because I was fearful their abilities. Even though I did not believe in vampires, I've always heard of stories about their incredible strength and power although I do not know if it is true. I will find out the truth even if it kills me.
Nighttime
 Now that the night has fallen, it's safer to go into the archives and get the answers that I desire. I quietly walk over to my door and lean up against it to listen for the guards trying to determine how many out in the hall. "I hear at least 6..." I whisper to myself.
I then walk over to my closet with a small candle holder in hand closing the door behind me. I carefully place the candle down away from my gowns on a small table and walk towards one of the shelves and carefully pulled on one of the handles on the side to open a secret passage that leads me away from all the guards down towards the library on the first floor of the palace.
I carefully climb down the five flights of steps that lead to every floor of the castle. The journey down the stairs was very long but not very difficult. Once I reached the first floor I carefully opened the other side and peaked out to see if anyone was around. Luckily no one was around meaning that it was safe for me to come out. I had to be quick in case someone were to come this way and see me.  Once I reached the archives, I carefully opened the door and entered while closing and locking the door behind me.
"I forgot how big this place was..." I sighed in annoyance. I started my search for the books I needed. I skimmed the titles of the books and noticed that they were alphabetized and organized in their genres. "This will be easier but still... this is going to take so long." I went towards the back of the archive where it was more eerie than the rest of the archives but I had to do this. Once I reached the section I was looking for, I started searching every row from the bottom to the very top, using a ladder. I kept looking but I saw no signs of the books that I desired. Then I noticed that there was a large gap in the shelves where  books were supposed to be.
"Something seems off..." It was almost as if someone didn't want anyone to read these books.I just kept searching and searching but there were no signs of these books. "... Where could they be?!" I groaned in annoyance.
I was ready to give up completely and try again some other time so I got up and started heading towards the entrance of the archives. "This was a waste of time. I didn't even find the books that I was looking for."
As I was leaving, I seen something shiny in the corner of my eye so I glanced over and seen something sticking out from between a book but it didn't look like a bookmark. So I walked over to the book that was on the shelf in the far corner of the room and took the book out of its place and opened it. When I opened the book I realized that it wasn't a bookmark but more like a weird key. It wasn't like any key I've ever seen because it was flat and rectangle but with pieces of it cut out with some edges meant to fit in somehow. The more I studied the object the more I noticed that I've seen a marking like this earlier.
I walked back to where I was originally looking for the books and looked where the missing books were once at and looked in the back. That's when I noticed that this key did fit in with the markings. I tried putting the key into the pattern and it fit which led to empty sections opening up and creating a doorway. "Wow..." I was amazed I've never noticed this before. "How many other secret passages are in this palace..."
When I walked through the door, lanterns in the room lit up. The room was filled with so many books in all shapes and sizes. I ventured further into the rooms to examine the books closer. I opened up the books and read a little bit of each book and knew that these were the books that I was looking for. "My parents were hiding these... maybe Jin was right and they are hiding things from me and I don't even know it." The more I though the more curious I got so I started going through the books and started to find the ones that would tell me the information that I wanted.
*Several Moments Later*
 I looked through multiple books and found the ones that I needed. Each books that I took all talked about some sort of history about vampires and their abilities. I knew I was going to come back again but for now I can't take too many in case someone does come in here and sees them missing. I exited the room and took the key and placed it back where I had originally had found it. I left the archives and quietly headed back to my room with the books. It was already late at night so I would have to save the books for the next day. I placed the books underneath my bed away from others so that they wouldn't be able to see them.
 I got ready for bed but something about this night had a weird feeling. I walked back into my room which was only lit by a small candle. I froze in my tracks when I noticed someone sitting on the side of my bed. "Don't be scared Y/N it's just me."
I recognized the voice and I calmed down a little bit but I didn't let my guard down even if I knew it was him. "What are you doing here Jin?" I walk closer towards him but still kept my distance. "I'm sorry that I barged into your room like this but I needed to talk to you."
"About what?"
"The question you asked me yesterday when I seen you. I'm really sorry for just leaving you like that back years ago and I didn't come back like I did today. I really am sorry about that." He stayed silent for a few minutes and then started speaking again "Y/N, Hoseok and I were telling the truth yesterday. You don't remember no human here does. I know this is asking for a lot but can you trust me? I understand if you don't."
I thought about what he said. Why would he come back here after all this time and lie to me? Wouldn't just have left completely and never returned? Wouldn't he have killed me when he seen me in the forest yesterday rather than standing up for me.  He didn't deny the fact that he wasn't human when I asked him. I need to trust him. After a few moments of silence I spoke up. "I'll trust you only if you can build up my trust in you. You'll need to prove that I can trust you." Jin smiled widely and said "I have never said this before but you know that man I called Namjoon yesterday?"
"Yes?"
"I have a thing for him and I've never admitted this to anyone else so there." I could see the red on his cheeks start to appear. I laughed at this. "What? Are you making fun of me for liking another man?" Jin pouted. "No, I find it funny how red your face gets when you all flustered like you are now."
"Please don't say anything about this to anyone else."
"Who would I tell this to? Would I randomly go up to someone and say there was this vampire who came into my room and came out to me."
I started laughing quietly just thinking about that scenario. I also seen Jin start to smile himself. "This is only a small part but this is a little piece of trust that you've built up Jinnie~"
"HEY! Don't bring that nickname up again!" Jin just kept becoming more and more flustered by the minute. I just kept laughing at how he was acting right now. After letting Jin get his emotions in check he spoke up. "Y/N. Those 6 other guys you seen with me yesterday are my closest friends and when I returned back to them yesterday they were intrigued by you and they were wanting to meet you."
"Really? Why would they be intrigued by me?" You raised an eyebrow at that question. "What normal person would randomly walk out in the middle of a Red Moon without someone nearby or without a weapon and be confronted by 7 vampires but not scream and shout? You were the first person that didn't scream or shout when you seen us." "I kept telling myself I was going to get killed." Jin laughed at my comment. "You didn't which is a good thing. So are you alright with them meeting you?" You thought about it. By meeting them you could gain some knowledge that those books didn't provide by  learning from them instead. "Alright. But where would I meet them?"
"You won't have to go anywhere they could always meet you here."
"... Just make sure that you tell them to wait on the balcony and not to kill me." Jin smiled "Will do. Now goodnight Princess and get some sleep. They come on Friday night." Jin waved goodbye and jumped off the balcony leading you to run over to the railing to see if he was hurt but he was already gone. "Woah... where did he go though." I didn't think about it too hard and headed to bed knowing that morning was well on it's way here. I'll try to get as much sleep as I can but I highly doubt it'll be much. I'm looking forward for their first visit.
I haven’t updated this story in almost a year but I really want to continue it so I’ll try to continue the story.
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k-reativefantasies · 6 years ago
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VIXX Adventures: Leo (Part 3)
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Genre: Sci-fi, Fiction, Action adventure, thriller. 
Summary: You’re thrown into a labyrinth with ten levels filled with monsters and the bare essentials to survive. Maybe with some help from Leo you’ll make it through this dangerous game alive. 
Word count: 2080
Note: Please Read Previous parts and Intro to VIXX Adventures first!  Chapters: Intro , Part 1, Part 2 
As soon as we entered the next level my bracelet beeped with a new objective. New Objective: Survive the night on level five. 4/10 levels completed. 
Leo didn’t say a word or even look at me as the doors opened. The frustration and anger nearly oozed off of him and I knew that I was the cause.
 “Leo I… I’m sorry I-”
“Nothing you have to say is going to fix this so don’t waste time talking. Follow my lead, stay quiet and we might live through the night.” He snapped without glancing my direction. 
“What about the safe zone? We have an hour.” I pointed out trying to be optimistic. 
He growled in annoyance and turned around to face me leaning down and getting in my face a bit, which had me flinching backwards. “There is no way we are going to find a safe zone in under an hour especially not by ourselves. We have no supplies, No extra equipment and we are going to run out of ammunition real fast on a level like this. So realistically there’s a large probability we won’t make it through the night. However our odds will be a lot higher if you shut up and follow my lead since I’m the only one here who knows what they’re doing!” 
I swallowed thickly his anger hitting me hard. I was scared enough as it is and I knew that some of his anger was his own fear talking but him lashing out was not going to help me stay calm. “Well if I’m such a problem why bother protecting me at all? Why not just leave me here to die and go save yourself if I’m that incompetent!” I shouted at him out of hurt and frustration. 
The anger on his face shifted to a look of deep pain and hurt before he composed his features into a stony mask once more, “ Follow me or don’t but we’re wasting time. We need to try and find somewhere somewhat safe to wait out the night until we can find the safe zone in the morning.”
 He adjusted his gun in his arms and started walking off quickly without looking back. 
I was mad at myself for my childish outburst and the fact that it had clearly hurt him. We had been finally starting to get along this morning, yet things went sour so fast. I suppose that was the purpose of the maze. I followed him as closely as I could as we twisted and turned through the maze. There were no screams on this level since no other people were around but there were mechanical clicking noises and the grinding of gears as well as some more ominous bestial sounds. 
Finally after a full half hour of walking Leo paused at a dead end and turned toward me, “What do you have in your inventory?” 
“I uh… let me see.” I checked back through my inventory quickly and relayed what it contained, “I’ve got a auto refilling canteen, a food supplier, a bed roll, a grappling hook, a highlighter stick, a bunch of coin from the boss monster and my weapons obviously.”
“Of course otherworlders get all the good supplies. Figures.” He huffed and shook his head, “Give me the grappling hook. I’ve got an idea.” I obliged and handed him my grappling hook. 
He took a few steps back surveying the high wall of the maze. He swung the hook in circles and released it the heavy metal flying up and amazingly catching onto groove in the wall that I couldn’t even see. Leo tugged the rope to make sure it was secure and then tied it around my waist. 
“What are you…”
“I’m going to climb up to the top and the hoist you up. Unless you would prefer to stay down here and be monster food.” 
“How do you know there aren’t monsters that can climb up there?” 
“I don’t but it’s certainly a safer bet than staying down here where I know they can get to us.” He said with a slightly annoyed look. 
Before I could come up with a smart-ass response he had grabbed the rope and was tugging himself up the rope. I found myself admiring his arms as he climbed, not in a dang that boy’s fine kind of way more in a I wish I had that kind of upper body strength kind of way. Although one definitely could not say he didn’t have nice arms. In a matter of minutes he had pulled himself to the top. 
He looked down and breathing heavily, reaching for the rope to start pulling me up. “Hey wait! You’re exhausted let me try climbing it on my own first.” I called up to him. 
“Alright then. Shout if you need help.” He said disappearing out of view again, which made me feel a little less self-conscious about my skill level.
 I untied the rope from my waist so that I could clamp my feet onto the extra bit like Leo had and I reached up to grab the rope with my hands. Slowly I started inching my way up the rope. A couple times my feet slipped and I had to start over but once I got the hang of how to position myself it became a little easier. Only a third of the way up my hands were sore from the texture of the rope and my arms and legs ached with the strain. I kept reminding myself how close I was and felt determined not to have Leo help me.
 I had just hit the halfway point when I heard a clicking metal grinding noise followed by a high pitch whining noise that grated on my ears. I looked down and froze in fear halfway up the rope as a creature that looked like a tiger and praying mantis had a cyborg alien baby entered the hall of the maze below me. I couldn’t call for Leo or I would attract attention. My only option was to get to the top and pray it didn’t see or hear me before I made it. Straining and stretching I continued up the rope as quietly as I could.  
I was almost at the top when the thing let out another cry this one sounding like a warning cry and it started racing at me with its metal legs scraping the smooth maze floor below it.
“Leo!” I cried and looked up but he was already there reaching his hand down the last few feet to grab me. 
The thing leapt and made it two thirds of the way up the wall it’s razor arms slashing at me. I screamed and kicked at it, which was stupid since it looked like it was made of razor blades. I gave a sharp cry of pain as a cut blossomed on my leg. 
“Hana focus! Grab my hand! Quick before it jumps again!” Leo cried to me a hue of desperation in his voice. I girt my teeth ignoring the tears of pain in my eyes and reached for his hand. He grunted and hauled me up hard the rest of the way falling backward with the effort of getting me over the edge of the wall. Thankfully the wall was wide enough that we didn’t topple over the opposite side. I fell on top of him both of us breathing heavy. 
The moment of pause only lasting a second as I rolled off of him grabbed my gun and angrily shot down at the tiger bug thing screaming at in frustration and feeling very satisfied when it exploded into goo. I didn’t realize I was still shooting at it until Leo put his hand on my shoulder. 
“Hana it’s dead stop. Hana you’re wasting amo. Hana!” finally he shook me a bit and I stopped dropping my gun on the wall next to me, quiet tears streaming from my eyes as I tried to wipe them away. I saw Leo’s expression soften at the sight of my tears.
 He pulled some bandages from his inventory along with some ointment, “Let me see that leg.”  I had kind of forgotten my injury until he mentioned it but once I was aware of it again the pain came back pretty strong. It felt like a paper cut that was just deep enough to be a pain and went all the way up the side of my left calf. I readjusted so that my leg was lying across his lap. 
He pulled out a knife and cut off my pant leg. “Aw darn and those were my favorite pants too,” I joked my voice oozing in sarcasm. 
A slight snort slipped from his lips and I caught the hint of a smile as he focused on his task.
 “I’m sorry was that a laugh I just heard? Did I see you smile? The stoic warrior Leo finally cracks a smile. Wow I feel so successful right now.” I said grinning as I teased him. 
He gave me a slightly exasperated look but I could tell he was still amused. “This will sting a bit but it’ll stop the bleeding and make sure it doesn’t get infected.” he warned as he put some of the ointment on my leg. 
I hissed as the cut burned and sizzled where the ointment touched it but I focused on Leo’s gentle fingers wrapping the bandage over the wound and that helped distract me from the sting.
 “Well I think we’re pretty much stuck here for the night with your leg like that plus this is as safe as anywhere else I suppose. You should get out your camp supplies and get some rest I’ll take first watch. I’ll wake you up when it’s your turn.” 
A comfortable silence came between us for a moment and we both looked out over the maze. Leo’s eyes traced the walls watching their patterns and probably looking for the buildings that were the safe zones.
“The louder grinding noises we’ve been hearing are the walls moving. That must be one of the ways the levels get harder from here on out is that the maze itself changes each night. It’s going to make navigating these levels a lot harder, which makes sense. The wardens don’t really want us teaming up and organizing anyway but the also can’t do too much to stop that.”
I listened to his ramblings absorbing the information but also not in a place where I felt like talking more about the mechanics of the labyrinth and the game. I’d been in survival mode long enough for one day. 
“Leo…” 
“Yeah?”
 “I really am sorry I got you stuck in here alone with me. I should have been more careful. I feel so guilty, you having to watch out for me all the time.”
“Well if it makes you feel better you aren’t completely useless, you learn quick and you have good instincts,” He replied with a hint of a smile on his lips. I perked up a bit at his compliments, feeling a bit better about myself for once. 
“Also I owe you an apology too. I’ve been especially hard on you because you’re an otherworlder and while it’s true that you have less knowledge about the labyrinth then those of us who get put in here as criminals of war, it doesn’t make you useless. I also have been unfairly associating you with some of my own emotional baggage,” He said as he took my hands and put some of the ointment on the rope burns there.
 “Thank you for that,” I whispered softly, grateful that he was starting to open up to me a bit, “You’re talking about the last otherworlder right? Did you… did you really kill them?” I asked hesitantly. 
Leo didn’t seem like a cold-blooded murder so I had to assume if he did kill the last gamer to come in here then he had a reason. Though I was rather shocked the company would let someone else in here after a death occurred. 
“Yes and no…it’s complicated and a long story. You need to rest. You do have a right to know Hana and I promise I’ll tell you about it. Tomorrow once we make it to the safe zone then I’ll answer any questions you have no holds barred alright? For tonight though you need to rest. Tomorrow is going to be a tough day.”
With that I nodded, got out my bed roll and laid down closing my eyes to try and get some much needed rest.  ~Admin Chu <3 
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ukthxbye · 7 years ago
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Like An Apple From A Tree-Swedenlolly multi chapter fic
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14823371/chapters/34303595
Chapter 1:Proper holiday
“How about Sweden?” Sherlock Holmes asks Molly Hooper casually one day while they were both working in the lab at St. Barts.
“What?” Molly looks confused as she cuts her eyes above the microscope she was adjusting.
“Holiday, let’s take one,” he says, not looking up from his microscope. “Also, you were right, it was a genetic disorder that killed him.”
Sherlock peers up then and smiles at her. Grabbing his phone, texting and then calling Lestrade,  he steps outside the lab.
“Okay, let’s do this,” she says, even though he was already gone from the room.
Logic might say that a chalet in the countryside would be a safer, more private option. Sherlock has that in mind too, but for now being in the most obvious place would be the safer option.
Molly was not as accustomed to extended travel like Sherlock and he wanted to consider her comfort as well. She had always said she wanted to go to Sweden. He had heard her say that in casual conversation when it had come up and had saved the memory.  Of course, booking one of the best luxury boutique hotels in Stockholm was sure to provide her some respite. He had grinned a bit too widely when he saw a review that called it a perfect urban bolthole and drew John’s attention.
“What is that grin for?” John asks.
“It's a private matter.,” Sherlock says attempting to hide his smile.
“Ooooh, I see,” John emphasizes. “Holiday planning then?’
Sherlock almost frowned, but to be honest he is quite happy at the thought and cannot not hide it.
“Yes John, proper holiday planning.”
Sherlock prepared Molly for all that could happen on the trip, all the scenarios he could imagine so she was aware of them. They both were practical people, he thought. She’d appreciate the knowledge going into it. “Of course, these are hypotheticals. I am sure the most we’ll have to endure is some annoying cameras if they discover us” he assures.  Nearing the end of the conversation, he notices her looking a little lost in thought. He pauses to give her space to speak her mind.
“I was thinking about doing something to my hair,” she says absently, looking off into space. He raises an eyebrow but tries an encouraging look.
“Always have thought about shorter hair, maybe even blonde?” she laughs a bit unconvincingly.
Sherlock smiles warmly, “I fell for you as you are. I am not asking you to change for this trip and my concerns if you don’t feel comfortable.  But it might keep some attention off you since there are rumors going about us around London.  But if you have wanted to do this for awhile, please do. Your hair, your choices. I’ll always love it.” He knows it was a bit of a lie; he might hate it. But he also knows she needed the encouragement.
He deduces her disassociating from the trip and from other moments in life and the signs become clearer each day. She had developed a mild case of PTSD from the near death experience with Eurus, which was understandable. He knows her excitement is genuine at times and relishes it, but her mental state of being had weakened. While he found therapy oddly helpful, he has not shared that he had been going. Only Mycroft knows because, well, he knows  everything. He had thought Molly was doing okay, managing and moving forward, but the more clairity found him,  the muddier her state became. Their holiday planning had brought out the dissociation as a way for her to deal with the stress, he knows that. But ultimately it was his fault, all of it, always. That guilt made him strive to make the trip therapeutic for her if at all possible and to assure her of their future. Guilt was not the relationship base he wanted. He loves her deeply, that he knows. His heart was finally open and bleeding and he had embraced, it just as hers started closing up to protect itself. Perhaps he would get rid of the guilt, but for this he would always have regret.
Molly smirked at his matter-of-fact approach to her changing her appearance, but she still felt parts of herself cracking under the pressure of her own demons.
Maybe this will help, she thinks to herself. A different me. I need to try it out. I don’t feel like myself much anymore lately, anyway. Being his, well whatever she was, was new. Time to shed some of those old ways.
Sherlock composes on the violin while waiting for her return to keep his mind occupied. In fact, if he was honest with himself, he is nervous. His Molly is all colorful jumpers and brown ponytails. He isn’t sure about the change and any effect it will have on him.
When Molly returns from the salon, she pauses before going inside. She loves her hair, of course, and had felt her spirits lift at seeing a new person in the mirror. Bright blonde, just below her chin. It would be easier to take care of, as well. Of course he can’t wait to see. Face the music, literally, she reminds herself. She tried a big grin when she caught his eye as he looked up from his violin, but her face immediately falls when his becomes unreadable. Oh God, he hates it, she thinks.
But she could not be more wrong. He stands up without a word, and he gets me every time he does that, just holding my eyes with his and locking me in place, she reflects. His hands go to her face and into her hair as he runs his fingers through it slowly.
He leans down and kisses her, covering her mouth with his with immediate passion. Once he releases he smiles genuinely. “I love it. Really. It suits you.”
She breathes out finally. “Oh thank God, I thought you hated it for a moment.”
His brow furrows,
“Do you like it?” he asks gently. She nods grinning. Running his fingers through it again and mentally noting how the products in it smelled, he grins back.“Plus I won’t get my fingers as tangled when we have sex,” he risks with a smirk as he plays with a stand of hair. She smacks his chest playfully with her hand, but her eyes darken to match his. She went in for another kiss and he meets her, both lost in the moment, But he eventually pulls back, tenderly kissing her before bringing her into a tight hug. Her heart falls a bit and she feels her insides ache to be as physically close to him as they were a few weeks ago.
“I would love to Molly, but I do have much to do before our holiday starts tomorrow,” Sherlock says with regret  “Once we are there, we will be free of the burden of London. Be patient with me until then?” he asks. “Plus, you have shopping to do.”
She raises an eyebrow at him and then frowns as she gets what he is saying.
There’s the Sherlock face she knows, irritated.
”Oh, don’t frown at me. Not my idea, though I agree with Mycroft, as much as those words taste terrible in my mouth. He has a personal stylist meeting you outside the Knightsbridge station,” he says with a big smile. He is trying to make it convincing. “Besides, he is trying to be sweet in his own way.”
Molly’s jaw drops a bit.  There were nothing but high end stores, including bloody Harrod’s, over there. No Marks and Spencer’s for her, she thinks.
“Looking the part will keep suspicion away that it is you. I cannot promise there won’t be interest, but it will be more in the line of ‘who is the stunning blonde woman on his arm?’’ Plus, you deserve a shopping afternoon. A treat before the holiday.”
Molly sighs. “It's a poor excuse, but I’ll take it.” A darker part of her mind wants to latch onto a deeper, more unsettling meaning behind it all, but she pushes that away and buries her face in his chest for the moment. He knows that her thoughts have turned dark and it makes him hold her a bit tighter. When she lifts some of the pressure and moves back, he kisses the top of her head, then her forehead.
“I will see you in the morning, picking you up at your flat in a cab. Then it's on to Heathrow and fresher air for us both. Proper holiday,” he smiles warmly. “I love you.”
She smiles back, trying to hide the way her thoughts are turning.“Yes, proper holiday. See you in the morning. I love you, too.” And with that, she turns to leave. Both feel the ache that separation now gives them, but duty calls.
-:-
Molly checks her Facebook absently while waiting for the assigned stylist to meet her. Like all things related to Mycroft, they arrive at 13:00 on the dot. Molly is taken aback when the woman approaches her.  
“Hello Molly,” she says, offering her a slender hand with a bright white smile. “My name is Gemma Smith, it is wonderful to meet you.” She is about 5’10” and stunning, polished from head to toe, ginger hair just below her shoulders in perfect waves.  Molly feels herself shrink standing next to her, but she senses a kindness in her voice and it helps assure her.
“Molly Hooper.” Molly offers her hand back and gets a strong handshake in return.
“Sorry, being as I work with police and dead bodies I have never had much occasion for fashion,” Molly apologizes as they walk “I mean going out with friends and such, sure, but well…”
“It’s okay, Molly.” Gemma shakes her head bit and smiles reassuringly. “I go home and put on pyjamas the same as you and watch telly. I just have nice clothes and a job that pays for them.”
And a bloody model’s body, Molly thinks to herself.
But as they peruse shops, Molly becomes more comfortable with Gemma. She could charm anyone, she thinks, and finds herself enjoying having someone make most of the decisions regarding clothing.
Gemma asks questions about comfort, tastes, colors, and brands. Molly is sure this is for business only, not her trying to make friends, but Molly finds her company very pleasant and genuine. There is a hint of the flare for life that Mary had and it makes Molly miss her for a moment.  
“Look, you love color and patterns, and you are eclectic. I don’t want to change that but let’s sophisticate it a bit, okay?” Gemma assures Molly. ,
Well, at least it isn’t going to be court clothes or a drastic step away from my usual. Though she wouldn’t mind that. Her own skin seemed to bother her more these days and she relishes looking in the windows as they pass and seeing a different haircut and color, like seeing another person. She cannot shed her skin, but she can change the outside and maybe find a new person out of it.
In Harrods, they browse through cocktail dresses. She finds plenty that are obviously sexy but she can’t see herself being comfortable in them. Gemma makes her try on one. Molly shakes her head. ”No, I am not sure that a low cut v half way down my chest is for me.”
Gemma narrows her eyes in thought. “Hmm, let me look one more time for you. Stay here.”
She comes back with a satin sleeveless aubergine dress, boat necked with the most luxurious ruching. Everything about it screams that it can be worn multiple times to a number of occasions, so her practical side likes that and yet, it reminds her of something she can’t quite recall.
“Oh,” Molly says out loud with emotion.
Gemma beams, “Well, I didn't expect that. It's not most flashy of dresses, but there is an element of luxury to it. And that fabric under a man’s hand, well...” She giggles a bit.
Molly goes red-cheeked. Gemma says plainly, “Secret's safe with me. Let’s try it on,” handing her the dress and nudging her into the dressing room.
Molly slips it on and zips as much as she can, but gets help from Gemma who waits outside the dressing room. Her mind flashes to a future thought of Sherlock helping her in and out of the dress, and she can feel herself turn red again. But nonetheless, Gemma is right. As she looks in the mirror, Molly can see the fabric is luxurious, slinky against her skin and hugging her curves. I have hips? She hasn’t seen them in awhile. And the color, well, there it is. It reminded her of her favorite shirt of Sherlock’s. This is a sexy dress without being obvious. She takes a deep breath, and smiles at Gemma who was biting her lip.
“I’ll take it,” Molly says confidently.
“Victory!’ Gemma smiles big and bites her bottom lip again. “If I didn’t know you were with him, I would ask you out myself. That fits you like it was bespoke,”  she says while scanning around Molly, checking the fit. Molly pulls a face that is odd instinctively, though she takes the statement from Gemma as a compliment. Gemma softens her face in response, “Sorry, bit too much honesty there. But if nothing else, it should give you confidence in how he will see you in that dress, right?”
Molly nods. “You are gorgeous, and I am flattered. But I am straight as a pin I am afraid,” she admits with a reassuring smile.
Gemma laughs a bit to lighten the mood. ”Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And you are in love, that is obvious. And who wouldn’t be, at that one you got? I might be gay, but I am not blind. Congratulations on that catch.”  
Molly blushes and smiles fondly.
Gemma smirks sheepishly, “I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable though. I have a type, what can I say.”
Molly half laughs, “I know exactly what you mean, having a type.”
Gemma cheerfully changes the subject. “Now onto casual outfits and perhaps a bathing suit?” Molly looks at the dress price tag and chokes and coughs at the 825 pound price tag. Gemma grabs her arm to steady her, and shakes her head, both looking at each other through the mirror. “You are in with the Holmes now, money doesn’t mean the same.” Molly drops the tag and nods, but still feel the shock of the moment.
-:-
Molly stumbles into her flat, arms full of bags and her new dress. She laughs thinking of how Gemma had thought she was cute, but with no time to focus on anything else as she has to pack. She really does need a hanging bag, but she had looked up methods to pack for no wrinkles, and also she assumes she can get the dress pressed when she arrives in Stockholm. Everything feels quiet in her flat and she does not want the thoughts to fill her head again that she has successfully pushed away most of the day.  She knows Sherlock might be busy, but she risks a text anyway.
I hope I get everything packed in this carry on bag since you insist we don’t check any luggage-MH
I have all confidence in you...how was shopping?-SH
Lovely, just what I needed. She works for Mycroft or just hired? Might have a new girlfriend if this doesn’t work out ;)-MH
She grins to herself with that tease.
Girlfriend? I’ll fight her for you if I need to. But I am not surprised. That blonde hair really does suit you. You continue to surprise me, please never stop-SH
Molly laughs to herself a bit and he starts to write again before she can respond.
You should get some sleep, Molly. I wish I was there tonight but alas chasing a couple more things down with John before we leave. Forgive me that. You’ll have my arms tomorrow. Good night xxx-SH
Stay safe, please. Good night xxx-MH
She hopes she doesn’t need them tonight, like she had one night, her body wrecked from crying. It had happened not long after their confessions. She had called and he had come, no questions asked. Held her from the minute she met him at the door until she made him leave the next afternoon. Made sure she ate and drank, and sat in silence as she needed. She reminds herself of these moments when she doubts. Its something he would have been incapable of years ago.  With those thoughts, she wills herself into a fitful sleep.
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writevswrong · 8 years ago
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FANFIC * NESSIAN * PART FIVE
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In case you missed the previous parts...
https://writevswrong.tumblr.com/post/161177692923/fanfic-nessian-part-one
https://writevswrong.tumblr.com/post/161291772213/fanfic-nessian-part-two
https://writevswrong.tumblr.com/post/161402884998/fanfic-nessian-part-three
https://writevswrong.tumblr.com/post/161473097168/fanfic-nessian-part-four
Nessian Part Five by L.J. LaFleur 
I slammed the door behind me, as if a piece of wood would keep the monsters out. My spine rested against the smooth surface, stiffening as I stared at the cedar colored boots Cassian gave me. The lump in my throat enlarged, my vision blurring—I’m a fool.  
The burning sensation in my feet flourished, climbing up my legs until I moved. Pacing, I needed a release. Back and forth, until the flooring beneath me discolored with scratches. The more I thought of what happened during training, of admitting that even just looking at him killed me--it shook me to my core.
I’ve told him enough, I’ve let him in enough--why bother letting him in further? When the only outcome of letting him in would crush my soul? Heart? And then Mor—what does she want? To be with Cassian? Azriel? Both? My heart sunk as I bit my lower lip, endless questions twisted within.  
The window to the right of the bed was large enough for me to fit through. A prettily decorated prison, that’s all this place is, all it’s become. I unhooked the sterling silver latch, and pushed forward. I needed to escape. I tilted my body out of the window, giant bushes lined the bottom. I peered closer, my vision adjusting as it magnified every leaf, every sparkling-white jasmine petal. Even towards the tiny insects that trailed around the stems.
“What am I?” I shakily whispered to myself.  
I ignored the knock on my door and again when the second one sounded. My sharp vision dulled, letting me see normally from the angle I stood. I could make it. If I land properly, I could survive a jump from this height. But where would I go? Could I really leave my sisters? The only family I have left? The knocking persisted as I ducked back into my room. My eyes shifting from the window to the door as it cracked open.
“May I come in?”  
“Who is it?” I asked, already hearing the fading tendrils of shadow that Azriel traveled through. They sounded like whispers, what they were saying though--I still couldn’t make out.  
“Azriel,” he replied, opening it just far enough for him to fit through and close it softly behind him. Azriel’s raven hair stopped just above his ears, his hazel eyes darker than Cassian’s, with what—I’m not too sure.
“What do you want?” I asked coldly, if I’m made of spite and ice then I might as well act accordingly.
Azriel’s neutral expression soothed, becoming completely unreadable, “I wanted to talk to you,” he replied softly.
“I’m in the middle of something. If you don’t mind…” My sharpened voice faded as I hid my trembling hands behind me.
“I’m not Cassian, Nesta.” He gave a quick smile, the corner of his eyes scrunching briefly.
I swallowed hard, pressing my lips into a slim line before I attempted another rude comment.  
“I hate eating steak after a battle,” he stood still, his arms down by his side, watching me, “it’s what leaks out onto my plate, the blood--that’s the hardest part.”
My throat tightened, the sudden urge to cough for air came and went with my sorrow. How did he know? Did Cassian tell him? Did they all know? Questions filled the aching hole in my chest. “Then maybe you should stick to vegetables,” I offered coolly. A penetrating heat touched my fingers, I pressed my nails into my palms.  
Azriel ignored my comment, “it usually takes me weeks, sometimes months depending on the damage I’ve done. How many souls I’ve taken.” He shrugged, stretching the battle leathers that covered his shoulders.
“That’s a shame,” I replied, glancing at the blade by his side. Truth-Teller.
He walked around the room, his hazel eyes catching the scratches from my earlier pacing. An inky eyebrow raised as he glimpsed at the open window.
“This is the most you’ve ever spoken to me.” I remarked, hoping to distract him and myself. Why would he need his Illyrian battle leathers on? Here of all places? What was happening? The tips of my fingers felt hollow, the growing fever safely extinguished.
“Yes, it is.” Azriel paused, the trace of a smile brushed his lips. “I didn’t just come here to discuss my eating habits though. I would like to train you.”
“Train me? In what?” I questioned him with a raised brow, releasing my hands from behind me.  
Azriel shifted on his feet, “we can pick up where you and Cassian left off this morning.”
“Did Morrigan suggest this?” I tilted my chin to the right, gritting my teeth together.
“Feyre,” he replied earnestly.  
I felt the tension in my body release as the depths of his auburn eyes brightened, “Why?” Somehow, I could understand why Elain favored being around him over anyone else. He’s kind, despite the lingering shadows he entangled himself with, he was closer to her in character than anyone I had ever met.
“We can start tomorrow afternoon,” he nodded, letting his scarred finger rub against his bottom lip.    
“Answer the question…” I demanded, my fragile fingers bracing against my hips.
“I’m better to look at,” Azriel cleverly responded.
A hollow laugh escaped me, at least he had wit to follow him through the shadows.
Azriel walked to the window, his scarred hand pulling the sheet of glass in and placing the silver lock down, “there are easier, less painful ways to escape.” He stalked towards the door, pausing by my side, “the front door, for example.” Azriel bowed his head before continuing, “tomorrow. Noon.”        
I stared after him, watching as he soundlessly shut the door behind him. He saw me at the table last night, he must have, I’m making errors--large enough to be observed by Cassian and Azriel. It was bad enough for Azriel to notice, but it makes sense—he’s the Spy Master. Terrible title, but it fits. As for Cassian catching my hesitation…my moment of weakness. I don’t know what to make of that.
Who else knew? Who else can see right through me? My eyes focused on the lower left pane of glass in my escape route. A group of children playing passed by, interrupting my line of sight. I shook off my endless list of concerning questions and made my way towards the bathing room.
Steaming wooden buckets were arranged near a slightly larger one. The bathing pool meant for a set of Illyrian wings had gone unused since I was given this room. The water had been emptied, leaving only a blue stone pit behind. Once we had returned, I suggested to the servants that they should focus their attention on Feyre and Elain. Silently begging them to leave me be, to let me cope in the only way I could. Alone.
I slid off my shirt, noticing the bruises from today’s training were already healing. I hesitated taking off my boots, not only were they elegantly designed, but it meant I wouldn’t wear them again, I couldn’t. Every time I would look down at my feet, I would see him. Reluctantly, I took them off, along with my remaining clothing.
Four buckets of water were placed to the left of the larger one, along with a bar of charcoal soap and a taupe colored cloth. The bottoms of my feet brushed against the knotted wood as I stepped in. Bathing this way took longer than normal, but it saved me—saved my nerves. It didn’t remind me of my sick turn-of-fate in the cauldron. I winced from the pushing memories.
“I am not weak…” I told myself, letting the images fade.
After bathing, dressing and brushing out my lengthy hair—I tried to read another favorite book from my quaint shelf. I made it through the first three pages before having to shut it close. The hungry guilt that had built a permanent residence within me screamed in defiance by page two. The only option I felt up for was to stare out my window, watching the citizens of Velaris pass by, the citizens I helped to protect. Ones who deserved a shot at happiness, at a peaceful life.
I had skipped lunch and dinner, avoiding my sisters, their friends and loved ones like a plague. I didn’t bother with lunch as I uncovered a plate of beef and potatoes. Later that evening, a plate filled with unfamiliar, deliciously smelling food had been sent up. Something leafy with a drizzle of a vibrant yellow dressing on one side, a pile of orange mash and a strange looking purple and tan mess of beans on the other. Nothing red—no blood. A goblet of water appeared and so had a platter of various colored apples. I had never scarfed something down as quickly as this meal, my favorite being the pile of creamy orange mash--whatever it was.
After stacking my dishes outside the door, I tucked myself into bed. It had been lonely, especially not speaking to Elain anymore but it was better this way. Safer this way. I shifted under the sheets, rolling into a ball on my side. The dizzying patterned green curtains helped shut out the fading sun. Silence burned into me, my back arching with a deep stretch. I sprung back to fetal position as the feeling of a decaying finger trailed down my backside. I turned sharply, my breath held as I turned to see nothing but the other side of my empty bed.  
 “Nesta!” Cassian’s voice rung from the other side of my door. “Hibernating is only for beasts!” He bellowed with a fierce knock.  
I didn’t bother getting out of bed, it had taken me all night to finally fall asleep. The decomposing finger that slid down my spine had me fearing it--all that awaited me were more nightmares. My blood shot eyes opened and forced shut, blocking out the penetrating light of the rising ball of fire in the sky. So much for the dark curtains.
Cassian knocked again, waiting. I would keep him waiting all day, just to piss him off for yesterday’s training.
“Open the door, Nesta,” he said more tamely.
“No,” I mumbled back, my face burying into the fluffy pillows while my tangled hair curled around me.
“Fine,” he replied, flinging open the door with a powerful kick.
I shot up, instantly regretting sitting up so quickly as the blood rushed from my head. My frail hands covered my eyes, dropping the goose feathered blanket from my chest. “What?” I groaned, squinting when I finally looked towards him with puffy eyes.
Cassian’s indigo tunic hugged his muscular chest, his sleeves scrunched up to his elbows as the crimson siphons glowed on the top of his onyx colored cuffs. He caught the door before it fell to the scuffed floor. “You didn’t…” he paused as his copper eyes scanned my blush pink night gown, “show up for our lesson. I waited over two hours.” He gently laid the door against the wall, “I’ll fix this…after you explain why you didn’t show up this morning.”
“I’m sleeping—was sleeping,” I yawned, lifting my hands overhead as I stretched. It quickly dawned on me that my night gown was sheer enough to see my perked nipples. Which meant, he could see them. I dropped my hands, crossing them over my chest as he looked down at his boots.
“Well?” He asked, waiting for a better excuse, his shoulder length hair dropping into his face as he studied the floor. Cassian lifted his eyes quickly, noticing that I was covered and raised his head, the slightest hint of blush on his defined cheeks. “Is it beauty sleep? Because I think you might need some more time.” He quipped, a crooked smile shattering me.
I mustered a glare, my fists clutching into the blanket wrapped around my chest, “tell me, how did waiting two hours alone for a woman feel? Or is being stood up just a normal occurrence for you?”
“I’m sure you’ve gone longer for your many large, wing-spanned suitors,” he taunted as he leaned his back against the opposite wall, stretching his strong arms across his firm chest.
“I’ve never had to wait, actually. They’re always on time and not one of them have broken down my door,” I rested my head against the padded headboard, pursing my lips as I stared at my door and then back to him.
Cassian nearly growled, “why didn’t you show?”
“I’m going to be training with Azriel from now on,” I responded nonchalantly as I flicked off a goose hair from my nightgown.  
His jaw clenched as a flash of annoyance crossed his face. Cassian’s hazel eyes turned to stone as he released his arms, “you’re never satisfied, are you?”
“Not by you, no.” I sunk my teeth in, hoping it would scare him off.
“You’ve never had a taste,” his voice smoothed while tying his darker than night hair in a low bun. Cassian’s smirk delighted in my pause.
I debated on what to say, only a few seconds passed as I raised myself from the cushioned head board, making sure the blankets didn’t drop from my chest this time. My grayish blue eyes deepened with animosity, I could feel them transform into something darker.
“Why have a taste of you, when I can have him?” I knew it would hurt, I knew it would tear right through him-but I needed him to stay away. Not just for my sake, but for his.  
Cassian’s nose flared, his siphons gleamed brighter then quickly subsided. “That’s if Mor doesn’t get to him first. Poor bats in love, you know.” He strode out into the hallway, I could see the steam leaking from his bronze skin.
“What about my door?!” I yelled after him, pillow at the ready if he came back in.
“Fix it yourself! You are obviously capable of screwing things!” Cassian yelled from the hallway.
My hands flickered with flames, “pig!” I shouted after him, flinging the pillow into the hall. I could hear the material scrape against his skin and then bounce to the floor.
“Nes!” Cassian hollered back, his voice carrying through the house.
Flaming talons formed on my fingertips, shredding the blankets and pillows that released hundreds of goose feathers, “damn him,” I mumbled, continuing to curse him silently.    
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cosmosogler · 7 years ago
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woke up super late again. i completely wiped myself out yesterday. i had dreams that i wanted to talk about while i was having them but i didn’t remember them after i woke up. just that i wanted to talk about them. so that left me in a fine pickle.
cat adoption will be on saturday. the animal services shelter does not hold animals so it’s all same-day adoption stuff. 
today we did some shopping and i checked in with the counseling department and stuff and got their contact info. we got back to the room around 3:30 and i forced myself to mostly lay down and chill out for the whole afternoon. it was storming anyway, being out and about would have been miserable and loud with the thunder. now it’s 11!!!!
mom and i had dinner at the hotel again. we talked about the dogs the whole time. i do really miss eve. i wish she could have seen the ocean even if she wouldn’t have liked it very much. traveling more than a day trip would be too hard for her now. heck, bringing her up to sedona which is an hour’s drive would be too hard, especially this time of year when it’s so hot. with animals i always feel like i need to cram just one more adventure into their short lives... maybe with an old cat she’ll just want a warm lap to sit in. i can provide that for her at least.
tomorrow i’m finishing up all/most of my hiring stuff and we’ll do one more round of shopping for things we remembered over the last two days. like actual glass cups for my kitchen and not just two plastic ones. feels weird to do... house stuff. i’m still getting used to it.
i can tell i’m too tired and too stressed because my brain goes weird places when i’m not keeping myself super occupied. death places. being in mother’s presence at all times is absolutely exhausting. i have not been more than ten feet away from her for more than five minutes at a time in six days now. her comments on my weight and appetite and diet are fraying my nerves. 
like all her congratulations on how much weight i’ve lost due to my serious gallbladder issues is ALWAYS accompanied by a warning about “stuffing myself” and gaining it back. when my appetite flags during mealtimes mom tries to get me to stop eating, even when i can tell that i did not eat enough food to get me to the next meal. she says i have more energy not because i’m eating more, but because i’m “lighter.”
while at the store today my stitches started really hurting. i have to take it easy physically until saturday. or friday depending on what the apartment complex says about signing my lease early.
i can tell i am very worried about starting grad school because i just haven’t been doing anything i need to do tonight. i haven’t checked my email other than when we got back to the room like seven hours ago. i haven’t looked at my welcome packet or employment paperwork or campus safety work or the orientation schedule or the bus routes. kinda freaked out by the prospect. kinda suspicious that i will get four days into orientation and then get kicked out when it comes time to actually do some physics. i know i’m not ready. i haven’t prepared. because being stressed makes me avoid the thing that stresses me out i guess? instead of eliminating the stress by preparing better or taking care of the problem?? i don’t understand why my brain isn’t using logic for motivation here.
mother keeps suggesting new hobbies for me to pick up. like collecting clothespin magnets and painting them. i don’t understand why when i express interest in something mom reminds me that “if you’re putting your full effort into grad school you won’t have time for that” but if i completely ignore something she turns it into a time-consuming and expensive hobby suggestion for me to potentially spend all my free time on.
today she also did that thing where i’ll be talking to someone else and she’ll interrupt me to say something she thinks i “forgot” to say, but either had decided not to say or am literally halfway through saying it. like ordering food! 
there’s also been a lot of asking me a question, then when i answer asking it again impatiently. or i’ll answer a question and she’ll start giving other options after i’ve made a decision. or she’ll complain about being lost (and blame me for not giving her good directions) less than a second before the road sign becomes visible. that happens like clockwork.
i dunno. i guess that when i have beef with one parent my view toward the other becomes “softer” somehow, like “oh, since dad grabbed me in the dark and has refused to apologize for over a month, mom can’t be THAT bad!” but that line of thinking gets me nowhere. what dad does has no bearing on what mom does except when she tries to get me to “understand” his point of view better. i’ve had to catch the train of thought and remind myself multiple times that just because dad became worse (more threatening, more physically dangerous) than mom doesn’t mean mom isn’t just as bad (more exhausting, more emotionally taxing) as always. i guess it feels like she’s easier to deal with because i am familiar ENOUGH with her thought patterns that i can navigate conversations with her and selectively shut down topics so that we don’t argue a lot. she just says really passive aggressive stuff and i have to deal with that. but not arguing much.
dad became... harder to read very suddenly. like i realized the things i had thought were wrong and that put me in very unfamiliar territory with him. unfamiliar territory, especially dark dangerous waters like “is he going to physically hurt me or not,” is horrible for me and i hate dealing with it. i deal with it by cutting it off. by comparison mother seems downright friendly, even though i know in my heart that she is not. my brain just wants so badly to relax. my brain wants to start gushing about things i like with people who (might, sometimes) listen. there is nothing that the stupid social comedian side of me finds more appealing than a captive audience. and it gets me into trouble always, all the time, forever.
mom likes the adventure zone. for now. i have been feigning ignorance about some of the later stuff. like all the gay that gets everywhere. mom will drop that series like it’s hot if/when she gets to it. but if i pretend i went into the story completely blind, instead of mostly blind, i can pretend i didn’t know and thus she can’t be mad at me about it. then i can love it, and love the gay, quietly in peace and she can’t do nothin about it.
but at least, in the meantime, since i have kept quiet about what i actually know and hopefully my ignorance is convincing, we had something to listen to in the car together and that time was spent not arguing. i have to try to enjoy the not-arguing without letting my guard for potential arguing down.
feigning closeness by only talking about a few pre-approved topics and in approved ways is exhausting. i do it with new friends too. even with old friends! micromanage the way i compose myself in my relationships. it’s not a good time. but it’s the only way i know how to do it. maybe that’s bad. i think that might have been what my outpatient therapist at the hospital was getting at. the walls i put up, the weird boundaries that are either too distant or not there at all. 
sometimes i think about the characters i relate to most. i wonder if people view me the way they view those characters, if maybe it’s more frustrating in person, if i hurt them the way those characters hurt their friends. i wonder if they like and care about me the way those characters’ friends like and care about them, the way fans talk about those characters. 
probably not.
i think about the differences between the person i am and the person i want to be. and how frustrating it is to hit those weird walls where i am not the person i want to be, and i can’t be, unless i practice at it a whole lot and throw some safety out the window. my living space is cluttered with safety. at what point did i collect all this goopy, gunky, sticky safety? what’s getting out of your comfort zone, and what’s straight up dangerous? safety says those two are the same thing and that makes it hard to move forward.
it’s easier to take pets on adventures than it is to take myself on adventures. 
that’s a weird mishmash though. not quite an accurate comparison. i do feel safer going on adventures with a pet though. that way i’m not alone. 
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seulementpourlesamoureux · 8 years ago
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obnoxiously long essay re: mental health and recovery
personal anecdote: retrospectively, I think my depression symptoms started really, really early. Like 5-7 yo. I’ve always had a negative cognitive bias, and it did not help that I grew up in a misogynistic, oppressive culture and had a lot of adverse events such as emotional, physical and milder forms of sexual abuse; a culture where no one ever spoke about mental illness and if they did it was only talked about in an extremely derogatory tone. They’re “cray” or they’re “selfish and didn’t think of anyone else” (if they committed suicide). By age 10, I was in a full on spiral that I am definitely sure did not end till maybe a few months ago. At age 22, I had spent more than half my life being extremely, extremely depressed. 
Do you know the kind of toll it takes on a person’s brain? No one paid attention to me not just because of the mental-health unaware culture, and my abuse mother who told my cousins in my full hearing that I was cutting myself because I’m “mentally weak”, and continues to tell me to this day that I’m depressed because I’m “selfish” and only think of myself. More than a decade, and all of my critical, formative years, I spent in what can only be describe as a chaotic black box. It feel like you have no direction nor sight but things keep slamming into you and scratching and beating you up and you have no way to defend yourself or cope.
“Why didn’t you just go to the school counsellor or someone and seek help?” I didn’t think that was an option. And here comes the bit that I’m going to be brutally honest about that many people with mental health issues aren’t going to like me saying. Sometimes, staying in the familiar darkness, no matter how terrible, is easier and feels safer than the light. Sure you could come out of that black box. But do you know how to deal with the things you’ll see? Hmm? Those things that slam into you an hurt you are still gonna be there! And now you’ll have the added “benefit” of seeing them coming!
You know why I put “benefit” in quotes right? Because you don’t see it that way. Seeing the problems don’t teach you how to cope with them. And then you’ll have to learn skills within a very short time that you should have learned over many years during your formative period, during which your mental health issues most likely came into play.
That’s scary. That’s hard. It’s easier to let yourself get beat down because you’re used to it. It’s more comfortable. Here’s where you take on the mantle of “I have depression/anxiety/insert-mental-disorder-here” and just use that as an excuse instead of trying to treat the symptoms at least. The damage that has been done to my brain is insurmountable and almost every week I think about “what if I hadn’t lost those years to depression+anxiety?” “What is someone had noticed I was suffering and offered me some help?” “What kind of damage has already been done that is irreversible and will forever impact the way I think and behave?” Will I ever be able to reach my fullest potential despite being robbed of some key years during my developmental period?
I think the answer is probably no. Scientifically, based on most neurological studies, the answer is no. But you can improve quite a bit. A lot of bits actually.
But it’s hard going. I went to the university mental health center first year of university, and it was hell. Looking back I know why. I didn’t do any of the mental health homework. I made no effort to try and be better or try to actively modify my thought-patterns. In the sessions, I’m sure for my counselor, it was like pulling teeth. I was already too emotionally closed off and I wanted to do zero of the work involved in become a sorta-functioning healthy adult. I left after that and for 2 years I did absolutely nothing to improve my condition. Later in my 4th & final year of uni, I had a relationship that was helpful for me, but due to my mental health issues, became a huge burden for my partner. Looking back, I wish there were many times I had been better, that I had tried to be as good for him as he was for me. But I was so absolutely buried in my own shit that I couldn’t see the shit my partner was going through, and ultimately it came to the point that he felt guilty that he couldn’t take care of me as well and it was adding to his mental health issues as well. It’s like 2 pigs rolling in a pile of shite except neither of us are particularly happy about it.
How do I see these things so clearly now?
Last year when I finally went to a doctor about it (I had initially gone for a physical ailment and my mental health issues were noticed by a particularly observant and inquisitive doctor and I am very grateful that such doctors exist.) That was the beginning of digging myself out from the endless, endless hole I had been spiraling into since I was 9 or 10. I slowly began to attend semi-regular counselling sessions with a community practitioner who offers sessions for free (after a small intake fee for assessment). I’ve replaced a lot of my harmful coping strategies with more useful and healthier coping strategies. I’ve begun reaching out to my friends and surrounding myself with positive influences.
The thing is, even with medical intervention and all of this help and changes, undoing the damage is incredibly hard. Sometimes you relapse and it’s really hard to get back into track again. But it usually only takes one thing. One thing to get back on that pony. Take a shower. Or a bath. Or go through a period of 1-2 weeks just fixing your sleep schedule - force yourself to go to bed and get out of bed at set times and resist the urge to sit/lay down in bed. It’s a continuous recovery process and I can understand the impulse to just say, “nah fuck it,” and be satisfied with putting “sorry karen I can’t be neurotypical” out there, like that’s supposed to be an excuse. But for your own sake, you gotta try. Depression is a disease. Anxiety is a disease. Mental illnesses are illnesses not identities. Doesn’t mean you’d treat people with them any different, any more as you’d treat ppl with a broken bone or diabetes any different insofar as making accomodations so they can still function somewhat healthily. But it does not mean you just decide to lay down and be ill. 
For your own sake, you gotta at least try. The long term repercussions are so bad and if you’re young you still got time and energy you should try. You should at least try. Please.
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pumpkinpetals · 8 years ago
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Once Upon A Dream
Chapter Two
Sleeping Beauty Malec AU
Summary: King Robert decides what to do with Prince Alec
Warnings: None :))) 
Read on AO3 here.
Thank you for reading!!!
King Robert took several days to consider his options. One thing that everyone seemed to agree upon was that Prince Alexander was not safe in the Kingdom of Alicante.
At first, King Robert wanted to send Alexander beyond the borders of Idris, to a far-away place where the Seelie Queen would be unable to find him. But Queen Maryse forbade it, insisting that the Prince would be safer within the wards Idris had to offer.
Ultimatly, it was decided that Prince Alexander would go and live with the Nephilim’s most powerful allies. The Warlocks.
Only the heads of states, barring, of course, the Seelie people, were told of the plan and as night fell on the day of the Princes departure, Lady Catarina cast a portal.With Alexander wrapped up in her arms, the blue-skinned Warlock said farewell to the King and Queen of Alicante.
Twenty Years and Forty-Eight Weeks Later
A day before his twenty-first birthday, a young man, whose true name was unknown to most, walked into the Great Hall of Brocelind Palace.
“Alec!” Catarina exclaimed, rushing forwards to where the dark haired man had stopped.
Alec smiled at his favourite Guardian and braced himself for a hug. However, all he received was an irritated tap on the arm.
“What was that for?” He asked, looking to make sure he didn’t have powdered sugar from his breakfast down his front. “I haven’t done anything for you to be mad about yet!”
Catarina’s eyes softened and flickered down to check her watch.
“You can’t be here today, dear. The Prince of Lock has announced that he’ll be returning today – after almost twenty years!”
Alec had seldom seen Catarina so flustered. Brocelind Palace was at the South-most point of the City of Lock, the Warlock’s kingdom in Idirs. There were no Kings or Queen. Just a selection of Princes and Princess, Lords and Ladies, and other gentry. They served as a diplomatic council over any land the Warlock’s laid claim to.
“If he’s been gone for twenty years, he can’t be a very good Prince.” Alec muttered, but he soon closed his mouth when he saw Catarina’s expression.
“You’d do well not to insult Royalty. And, in case you’ve forgotten, you are also a Prince that has been gone for many years. I doubt the people of Alicante resent you for that.”
Alec realised that that was true and he felt his cheeks flush. But, Catarina’s attention was soon captured by a crashing sound across the room, and the Warlock’s blue hands began to glow with a nervous magic. She turned back to Alec with a gentle frown.
“Alec, dear, I know I said that I would sit and explain what will happen when you return to Alicante, but the Prince has taken us off-guard” Catarina conjured a pouch of money in the palm of her hand and held it out for Alec to take. “If you’d be a darling and make yourself scarce till seven, when the ball begins, I promise that first thing tomorrow, before your farewell celebration, I’ll explain everything.”
It didn’t take Alec long to decide. The prospect of complete freedom for an entire day was too alluring to pass up. Plus, the money, which Alec knew had many uses, wouldn’t be written into the financial log. So, he would be able purchase whatever he liked without anyone knowing.
“Anything to make your life easier, Cat.” Alec said, taking the bag of coins.
“Also, I think Rupert is on gate duty this morning. Shift change is in an hour.”
With that, Catarina smiled knowingly and then walked away, barking orders to a mess of people trying to duplicate table settings.
Alec practically skipped down to the kitchens. He grabbed his bag on the way, which was in its usual hiding place (behind a suit of armour), and then he slipped down a narrow side passage. Alec had passed the head chef on his way down, so he knew that he had at least a few moments to fill his bag.
Sitting at the old wooden table in the room that lead to the kitchen was Ragnor Fell, Alec’s main Professor. The older-looking man was making his way through a bowl of porridge and he lifted his spoon to Alec as he walked through.
“Going somewhere, are we?”
Alec grinned and tapped the side of his nose.
“Not if anybody asks.”
Alec left Ragnor laughing as he slipped into the kitchen, pocketing a few apples from the large fruit bowl as he went. Then, he spotted some ripe plums and quickly opened his bag, placing a full punnet of them in his bag, along with a few threadbare blankets that were always kept on spare chairs around the room. He found a fresh loaf of bread under a thin cloth, some cured meat wrapped in wax paper and even several warm cakes on a cooling rack. Alec took the smallest cake, about the size of his palm, and wrapped it up before tucking it away in his bag. He filled a pouch with cold water and picked up some partially dented metal plates and multi-functional cutlery before fastening his bag closed and throwing it across his back.
Crossing his fingers, Alec hurried down to the Palace gates, his hood raised despite the sun. His bag clattered merrily with each step he took, and as he reached the gate, he saw Rupert, the guard who had been placed outside Alec’s room each night when he was a child.
“Another outing, sir?” Rupert asked, raising his hand to magically unlock the gate.
“Maybe.” Alec said, taking out the coin purse Catarina had given him. He removed several heavy coins and handed them to Rupert.
“Sir, I’ve told you before that you don’t need to bribe me.” Rupert said, carefully running his thumb over the intricate pattern on the coins.
Alec shrugged.
“I don’t need the money. Least I can do is give it to people who deserve it. Buy your kids some sweets on the way home or something.”
Rupert nodded and put the coins in the inside pocket of his shirt.
“If Aldertree comes sniffing around, I’ll make sure to tell him you came this way. Perfect misdirection.”
Alec grinned. Aldertree was Alec’s personal Nephilim guard and one of the few people from Alicante who was permitted to live in Brocelind Palace. Alec wasn’t allowed to train like normal Nephilim, but he wasn’t sure why. He figured that Aldertree just had something stuck up him that made him miserable, but Alec still longed to have his own Seraph Blade. The only person who had ever let him hold one was a guard that no longer worked at the Palace.
“Thanks, Rupert.” Alec said as he quickly darted through the gate and then looked around, revelling in the fact that they skies were clear and the breeze was warm, carrying with it the sweet scent of Brocelind Plains.
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