#maybe in the next lifetime
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super random and out of nowhere but nothing makes me giddier reading smthn and seeing the nickname 'wife' like qihwjqhehhw wife !!!!! im wife !!!!!!!! im someones wife yes!!!!! waugghhhhhhh
#rolling in my bed giggling kicking like a maniac#babe baby is cute but WIFEYYYY WIFEYYYYYYYYYY aihhhhgyhhgyghwhheuehehrb insane i am going insane#like idkkkkk maybe it has this aura of wholesome domestic vibes to it#idk if ill ever find someone and get married in this lifetime but its nice to daydream about it :3#maybe in my next life#frambling...?
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Idk man it's crazy that we all have to give a shit about the us because they get to decide who our global evil overlord is going to be and it sucks for you guys it's really scary and i feel for you but sometimes I wish the US could fuck itself and it didn't fuck everyone else too. But alas!
#may we see the fall of the us empire within our lifetimes 🙏 yes it will suck for the us but maybe it will suck less for the rest#to all my us friends im sorry. stay safe#i have friends and family there (likely place for venezuelans to be in) so yeah. sucks!!!#and when i say evil overlord i mean that whoever gets to be president of the us is by definition an evil overlord lmaooooo#its insane that you guys get to choose the most powerful person in the entire fucking world and we all have to deal with it#whatever. i will keep doing my thing#as long as this doesnt bring bolsonaro back next election we are alright
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hey when they wrote "knight behind bars" and they wrote kitt helping a couple get together and they gave him the line "Some day, it will be my turn" [to find love]. did they know what they were doing. did they know that in some 40 years some gay autistic robot-obsessed little freak on tumblr would not stop thinking about it for weeks and write literal dozens of paragraphs screaming about it on discord. did they know they were going to ruin Me, Specifically, with this concept that feels like the culmination of everything kitt has gone through through the show and such a fascinating thing to think about in regards to michael and kitt's relationship,
one of the themes of knight rider is kitt developing as a Person, developing a line between the Knight Industries Two-Thousand, and Kitt. discovering humanity, his own emotions, the joys of the seemingly and logically pointless, and often through the lens of his own driver, his partner, his friend, Michael - his primary guide through all these experiences, his reference for those human things he doesn't understand. and as much as he initially claims to not be capable of experiencing emotions, of understanding feelings, he learns to. he experiences a wide range of emotions through the show even while claiming he doesn't, he even learns fear and insecurity. perhaps it's only natural a robot would learn to love, or at the very least be terribly curious about it and wonder if such a thing could ever exist for Him
the majority of people are not exactly kind to kitt. they talk about him like he's not there, they talk about him like he's a machine, a novelty, some people are even scared of or disturbed by him when all he's trying to do is make polite conversation and company. he's always Othered - there's no other cars like him (at least not anymore), but there's no other person like him either, he doesn't truly belong among humans or vehicles. some of the technicians at FLAG don't even seem to fully respect him as a person, at least they don't based on my vague recollection of how they talk about him in Junkyard Dog. when Michael asks him after KARR is destroyed if it feels good to be one of a kind again, he doesn't say yes or no - he only says it's a "familiar feeling." it may be familiar, but it's surely also isolating, and i think that's something he'd realize as he slowly picks up this curiosity about love. where could he even find it when so few people see him as an equal person to begin with?
and then there's michael. oh my god, and then there's michael. no matter what flavor you choose to read it in, the whole show is about their relationship, they're a duo, a set Not to be separated, they're Partners. they work together, they worry about and look after each other (forever insane about when kitt was a melted shell, Michael stuck around the garage for hours, waiting for any news like a worried spouse, constantly checking on him every opportunity he got... encouraging him to recover, and even helping paint back on his protective coating... kitt always looks after michael, but for once, it's michael's turn to look after Him), in a way they were Made for each other - Kitt more literally, being programmed for Michael and holding his namesake, but Michael was also made in a sense for the pilot program, hand picked and given a second life to work for the foundation and with this strange supercar. and even if they had a rocky start, michael comes to view kitt as a person - car, TV set, or computer core, Kitt is his partner, his buddy. he helps him find himself, guides him and teaches him about these things that make us human, and in a way, kitt becomes human - but his entire experience is still through the perspective of an AI in a car, it's still very unique and isolating, and I think he sort of grows into his own limitations, he's finally brushing against the walls that define him.
he learns of love, and then he learns to dream Of love. these things he sees in the movies, that michael tells him about, that he so often sees michael Partaking in that he gets so oddly jealous of, doesn't it all seem so wonderful? he's very curious. but who could ever love steel and circuitry, who could ever see him as an equal let alone a partner in a romantic sense? who would ever love a car and all the limitations That comes with? it's a problem for a hypothetical hopeful Some Day, in the meantime stuck between two worlds where he doesn't perfectly belong to either, where no car Can love him and no human seemingly Would love him...
and michael loves him anyway. before either of them really realize or talk about it, in spite of everything, in any form, regardless of the fact it wouldn't be a typical relationship by absolutely any means, michael loves him anyway. kitt is as much a person to him as bonnie or devon or RC, and that person is someone he loves and cares for deeply. the feeling is mutual, kitt's world revolves around michael, he's one of the most important people in kitt's life, and he'd do anything to protect him.
and it is michael that will finally teach him to love, and what it means to feel loved in turn, to be loved as the person he undoubtedly is.
#liz blogs#kr#knight rider#michael knight#kitt#robots#gay#this isnt writing. its rambling. its very insane rambling.#WHAT is the ship tag. i dont even know. fuck it we ball#michael x kitt#sure#knight rider spoilers#i saw someone make up a really good one but i cant remember what it was-- oh my god was it MK2000. was it. was that iT-#mk2000#retroactively gonna go tag all the fruity posts with that i dont care#do not even get me started on michael learning to love for the first time in This lifetime. ... literally dont get me started i havent seen#the last stevie episode yet. thats next weeks crying fit. but i feel like that's a piece i need#but stevie was michael Long's girl. part of His life. michael Knight can't go back to that. and maybe he Shouldn't#listen. its about michael teaching kitt to love. and kitt Letting him learn to love Again. something real besides his weekend flings#i need a lobotomyyyyyyy i need an ice pick to the brain i need to stop being completely fucking insane about robots#IF BEING INSANE ABOUT FICTIONAL ROBOTS WAS A JOB I WOULD BE A MILLIONAIRE#anyway michael is bisexual and a dashboard smoocher thanks for coming to my ted talk#homosexuality is rampant in the military jerry. thats a bisexual if ever i saw one. have you seen the way he dresses. he calls his car baby#if you dont watch knight rider and you read this i'm sorry i must look deranged#this ship is queer flavored even besides the fact its two guys. there's like four levels of queer flavoring in this bitch
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at some point i will figure out how to write the post-canon, post-empire edelgard autonomy fic of my dreams. it just feels like a very big task and maybe like with playing the dane, i’m simply not old and traumatized enough to manage it yet.
but my vision is thus: it’s set years (realistically, decades) after the end of crimson flower, when everything has gone as right as it can possibly go. fódlan is thriving. the social reforms have taken effect. the nobility system is nearly eliminated, if not entirely so, with titles made merely symbolic. social mobility, welfare, and prosperity are high. there’s an explosion in arts and culture and technology. brigid and duscur have gained independence; relations with sreng and almyra are much improved; heck, maybe they've even figured it out with dagda. in my most idealistic version, leicester and faerghus would eventually be ceded back to become autonomous regions, essentially disbanding the adrestian empire. rule is no longer hereditary, but merit-based. there's a roadmap for the future, and everything is on track—and more than that, people at all points on the power spectrum have already seen it bear fruit. with or without edelgard, it will be pursued. there's buy-in. they believe.
of course, it's not perfect—nothing can be—but edelgard's vision has been fulfilled. the people are empowered. humanity is free. fódlan has healed.
and somehow, she's had enough time to resolve her goals outside of politics, too. those who slither in the dark have been eradicated. edelgard and lysithea's second crests have been successfully removed, allowing them to live if not full lives, then substantially longer ones than they would have with their twin crests intact. who knows—maybe she finally gets around to having that wedding.
point for point, every item listed in edelgard's manifesto has been checked off. the ghosts of her past have been laid to rest. she can finally take off her crown. she can finally pursue the quiet, humble life she's wanted for so long. she can finally breathe.
... but can she?
edelgard is nothing if not driven. her intelligence, vision, and sheer willpower allowed her to plan and execute a revolution against two countries and the most powerful institution on the continent, all while she was still a teenager. as royalty, her life was never truly hers even before she became heir to the adrestian throne, with all the additional baggage of survivor's guilt and the desire for vengeance and her need to ensure nothing that happened to her can ever happen to anyone else, ever again.
so what happens when that drive has no outlet? what happens when someone who has been constantly in motion, constantly working and planning and preparing every spare second of every day since she was fourteen years old, suddenly has to stand still? what happens when someone whose hands have been bound for so long—first literally in the dungeons of enbarr, then by the weight and responsibilities of her crown—is set free?
being edelgard, she would step away from the throne, no matter how hard it was for her to give up control. she's always been focused on the endgame, and she knows that if she doesn't let go, she'll be setting the wrong tone for fódlan's future. she's too devoted to that endgame to cling to power much longer than she needs to, though i could see her making some excuses and trying to iron out just a few more things to buy herself some more time to mentally prepare before she's done for good.
but who would she be then? who is the woman without the crown? what becomes of a machine once it is no longer needed, when it has made itself obsolete? what about when that machine is a person with legs and arms and an innate unwillingness to gather dust on a shelf?
what happens when you get everything you want? what happens when all your wanting has been for others to thrive, and now you have to want only for yourself? how do you discover who you are when you've spent decades being everything for everyone else? how do you find meaning again? how do you find purpose?
after a lifetime of devotion and passion and movement, how do you learn to sit with yourself, and be quiet, and be still?
gosh, i would love to meet her. i would love to pick her brain. but boy, i do not envy the work that girl has to do.
#sterge.rtf#fire emblem#fe3h#edelgard von hresvelg#realistically edelgard is not getting all of this done in her lifetime. but that wouldn't keep her from stepping away anyway#'cause a funny thing happened to edelgard during the crimson flower route: she learned to have faith again.#so even if she couldn't check every box and fix every societal ill she'd still be able to pass the crown to the next ruler.#maybe not without fear. but with confidence. with optimism. with the belief that she's leaving the world better than she found it.#she'd have faith in her people. faith in the future. faith in the groundwork she's laid. faith in the systems she's put in place.#faith that her vision will be carried out with or without her.#and that faith would allow her to eventually let go.#i so love edelgard pulling a george washington and saying nah i'm good on power. peace#though unfortunately i could also see her pulling a teddy roosevelt#and saying nah i'm good on power. peace. wait what are you doing. you're ruining it. you're bungling everything. i can't believe this#and making several (failed and increasingly insane) attempts to get back into politics#who is the taft to edelgard's ted tho. i don't want to do ferdinand the disservice of saying it's him even though i think it's very funny.#it's literally the opposite of his character as taft notoriously sniffed roosevelt's farts for a long time#until he finally pulled his head out of the guy's ass and realized there are other smells. such as the sewer. and garbage.#smells which he pursued quite happily much to ol ted's chagrin#meanwhile ferdinand does not think anything of edelgard's ass except that his is definitely better-looking than hers#(he's wrong on so many levels but you try telling the guy that)#in fact ferdinand has always taken great joy in pointing out all the things that smell better than edelgard does#which gives him an instant up on mr Take-Advice-From-Theodore#all this to say i think ferdinand von aegir would have been a much better president than william howard taft. that's just my opinion.#i'm getting off the rails in these tags idk what's wrong with me#sorry for equating your blorbos to long-dead american politicians everyone. i know this is a cardinal sin#also please don't take this to mean i think positively of washington or roosevelt or taft or whatever.#i hate all dead old white guys who ever held a modicum of power#i just had a hyperfixation on american presidents when i was in grade school and unfortunately now my brain works like this
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im the victim of a HORRIBLE TRAGEDY (couldn't find my CD with the promare OST in my big heavy box of CDs :((((((( )
#BUT WHERE IS IT IF NOT IN THERE#DID I HAVE CD OVERFLOW?? DID I PUT IN OTHER BOXES??#most of my belongings are in a stack of boxes under the stairs in my parents' house and i do not have the strength to rifle through them#the soundtrack is not really available on spotify and youtube so i was like thats fine ill just FIND MY PHYSICAL COPY OF THE CD#AND I'LL REMEMBER TO RIP IT THIS TIME BECAUSE APPARENTLY I DID NOT DO THAT WHEN I GOT IT#AHHHHHHHHHHHH#(like the music is not 100% unavailable online it's not lost media or anything it's fine)#i DO however. have my promare dvd#which i STUPIDLY ORDERED FROM AMERICA. FORGETTING THAT DVDS ARE REGION LOCKED. IM STUPID!!!! STUPID#vlc media will play it though so it's not useless either im just. im trying so hard im trying so hard i love this movie so much#but i wish it was more available to enjoy without so much effort!!!!#i hope my laptop will live a long good time because i managed to get one with a CD tray still#(the laptop in question has already suffered two blue screen deaths in its lifetime)#when i was young and naive i thought maybe the next generation of laptops will be able to play blu-ray which was the hot new thing#but what happened instead was that they got rid of cd trays. evil! evil evil
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#I hope that if I don’t find love in this lifetime maybe the next one#and with that I need to go to bed😂 2am thoughts are never good#thoughts
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Oh man, I know I lost all interest in ofmd (for reasons I'm still not sure of myself), but this sucks ass for everyone involved.
#i had a feeling this might happen tbh. i read something ages ago about how streamers usually cancel shows after 2 seasons cos of#contract bullshit so thats always in the back of my mind when shows reach that point#i feel bad for the cast and crew. i hope another service maybe picks it up for the last season but i doubt it#i cant remember the last time that happened? maybe lucifer? and that felt like a once in a lifetime win in a completely different tv climate#anyway im sure the discourse on here is going to be super fun for the next few days so im off ✌️#ofmd
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if you read every soul a star (2008) by wendy mass multiple times as a kid/tween and you live within like 80% coverage of totality for the solar eclipse in two weeks. How are you doing. Personally i'm fucking beside myself. In raptures. You could say, over the moon
#chat#if i have to take the day off work i will. idont do religion but i DO do space like one. fuck me i gotta be outside for the whole thing#maybe ill do religion for the next 13 days solely to beg every god for clear skies for those two and a half hours . Please#I Want A Chance. To See One. Where I Grew Up. and this is the oneee time in my entire lifetime it's this close.
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i don't understand why some people care so much about living as long as possible. "follow this diet designed to help you live past 100" in this economy?
#like literally after idk 80 or so wyd. my body already hurts at age 26 i imagine it gets significantly worse why would you want to prolong?#unfortunately my mother's side of the family is pretty long lived.... however my father did die early. maybe it will balance out#depends when the family aneurysm hits me ig#also like my whole childhood my mother was obsessed with Eating Healthy and longevity etc girl youre supposed to believe jesus is coming#in the next few years so why do you care about achieving old age 🤨 almost like that's an insane thing to believe#but growing up like that made me kind of blase about it i guess. and i kind of feel like most of the possibilities for living in old age are#.....not optimistic......particularly when youre not rich#and those possibilities do not seem to be improving#idk what my mother is going to do when she gets older shes made afaik zero plans for this on account of being certain that Jesus is Coming#any day now.#i'm certainly not going to be responsible for her or her shit idiot boyfriend so her best shot is my brother who has a better relationship#with her (not saying much) and obviously is more financially stable etc but like he has kids and a life lmao so idk#perhaps one day she will consider that the lord is not descending from the clouds in her lifetime but i'm not counting on it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i understand my brother tried to talk to her about it once and she refused to discuss it lmao like ok deny your mortality at your leisure#death will wait. :)#me
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been having dreams of a certain yt boy as of late
#not the same boy as last like this a different one#this one’s real#and the dream played out like a cute little wattpad story too😭#so basically the scenario was that we were next door neighbors#kind of like a boy next door/ childhood best friends trope yk?#anyways he had called me and we were just chatting it up on the phone#and he was sounding all happy and excited about whatever tf he was talking about which was cute asfff😭#so as we’re talking on the phone im like ‘ykw lemme pull up to his place bcs i miss my man’#but as im packing my bag about to head out the door#his mood does a complete 180#like he just starts sounding all depressed and shit#then ofc i start pressing him like ‘yo what happened r you okay??’#and he’s like ‘yeah😢 don’t come over anymore😞😞 i gotta go😕’ and hangs up on me#and im standing there like ‘oh no😱 my bestie/lifetime crush is upset😨 i gotta get to the bottom of this🧐’#so obviously i got over to his house anyway#and bitch💀#when i open the door to his room#tell me why i find this man crying over some damn JJK LEAKS😭😭#bro was sitting at the edge of his bed tearing up at a manga panel of GOJO#anyway i felt like there was something deeper that was making him upset but then i woke up so who knows#and yeah that was my dream last night#maybe it’s all a sign…#[wp]#wasteland faves👩🏿❤️💋👩🏿
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i suppose i owe it to myself to not die but also to stop talking myself out of things that might make me happier because i would be a much better person for everyone around me if i were able to navigate the world in the way i want to because insecurity and bitterness and constant suicidalness do just make you not as kind sometimes i think. i would like to be confident enough in myself to speak and be seen and therefore be as kind as i feel i am on the inside. i hold back so many things because i am scared of being perceived so maybe if i let myself do the things that will help me be ok with being perceived then i will put more good out into the world. i always get hung up on the fact that i so badly want to be good and kind and i care so so much about other people but as it stands currently most people would not really bother too much if i wasn't here anymore because i'm so cut off from everything emotionally and physically. someone send me c.300 quid so i can pay for therapy and you can stop being subjected to posts such as these, by the way.
#who am i kidding the cheapest therapists here are 45 quid for one session and i have a lifetime of unpacked trauma#there is no hope for me#even today i was sat at this desk with two seats right#and these two girls came in and couldn't find two seats next to each other so they had to sit at separate desks#and i wanted to ask if they would like to swap seats with me so they could sit together#but i was already having such a bad and dysphoric day that the idea of someone hearing my voice was making me tear up in public#so i just didn't do anything. and then couldn't concentrate on my work because i felt guilty#i do this with literally every conceivable interaction by the way. i <3 being me#maybe my problem is that i pretend i do not care about anyone or anything but i am in fact the most sensitive person on this earth
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happy birthday to me. my brain gifted me ptsd flashbacks. so excellent, cool, glad to get that out of the way now so maybe the actual day-of my birth will be Normal(tm)
#never thought I’d say making a cake for someone was narratively significant but there we go#I shouldn’t be thinking of her last birthday on my birthday but here we are#next year I’m holding a farewell vigil for you#ten years is a nice solid number#ten years is enough time to mourn#say more sadie#sadie has mental illness#nineteen to twenty felt like a lifetime#so maybe twenty nine to thirty will be equally but positively transformative. maybe.
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coming back home
#maybe next year itll be real rangoli. anyway. finally getting back to (hindu) stuff. it has been a long couple of lifetimes lmfao#annyyywaaayyyy. red= mental. green=growth and the physical. dark blue= empyrean/divine beyond the sky. sky blue= sky#white= forces and flow/causal lines/etc#blue and white external eyes= god. teardrop shapes near those eyes= clouds#rest of it up to you good luck byeee#spiritual art
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what dont i understand about the fact i will never be a 150 lb white man with short brown hair. what dont i get.
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These so-called pundits simply don’t know what WE know. Like Red Bull is already advertising meeting Daniel Ricciardo Red Bull athlete at the next Australian GP and you mean to tell me these people know more than we know. Lmao
I’m sure Damon Hill is just reiterating whatever has been said in this article because mans needs to have his 5-min soundbite for this weekend.
And I would have given credence, maybe even accepted these kind of comments about him no longer having what it takes or simply not being ‘fit’ enough to race again if they were making these comments after the Silverstone test and there was legit tangible proof he definitely is no good. But apparently they prefer to make statements out of their asses based on their own shit perceptions
#like haven’t they seen my man literally shaking crying throwing up whoring himself out for a seat next year?#haven’t they seen him running to the track in those tiny shorts?#how can you say this man doesn’t have the commitment it takes to compete at the highest level???#anyway preparing myself for more of these shit takes even after the Silverstone test#because people need to remember that it’s a tyre test so maybe the times set on those prototypes wouldn’t exactly be comparable to times#set by the current rb drivers#like Daniel himself has said it is more than just lap times#and rb has evaluated enough drivers in their lifetime to know what to look out for#so the rest can stfu
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I was very ready for a warm, sappy conclusion and instead I got my heart fucking ripped out of my chest how dare you???!?
#october daye#be the serpent#spoiler-ish maybe?#i do not have a lifetime of experience with this emotional whiplash! i am a just a wee babby who needs sweetness to survive ;-;#should've waited until september so i could immediately start the next book which hopefully resolves at least some of this issue???
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