#maybe in the next lifetime
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super random and out of nowhere but nothing makes me giddier reading smthn and seeing the nickname 'wife' like qihwjqhehhw wife !!!!! im wife !!!!!!!! im someones wife yes!!!!! waugghhhhhhh
#rolling in my bed giggling kicking like a maniac#babe baby is cute but WIFEYYYY WIFEYYYYYYYYYY aihhhhgyhhgyghwhheuehehrb insane i am going insane#like idkkkkk maybe it has this aura of wholesome domestic vibes to it#idk if ill ever find someone and get married in this lifetime but its nice to daydream about it :3#maybe in my next life#frambling...?
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Idk man it's crazy that we all have to give a shit about the us because they get to decide who our global evil overlord is going to be and it sucks for you guys it's really scary and i feel for you but sometimes I wish the US could fuck itself and it didn't fuck everyone else too. But alas!
#may we see the fall of the us empire within our lifetimes 🙏 yes it will suck for the us but maybe it will suck less for the rest#to all my us friends im sorry. stay safe#i have friends and family there (likely place for venezuelans to be in) so yeah. sucks!!!#and when i say evil overlord i mean that whoever gets to be president of the us is by definition an evil overlord lmaooooo#its insane that you guys get to choose the most powerful person in the entire fucking world and we all have to deal with it#whatever. i will keep doing my thing#as long as this doesnt bring bolsonaro back next election we are alright
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hey when they wrote "knight behind bars" and they wrote kitt helping a couple get together and they gave him the line "Some day, it will be my turn" [to find love]. did they know what they were doing. did they know that in some 40 years some gay autistic robot-obsessed little freak on tumblr would not stop thinking about it for weeks and write literal dozens of paragraphs screaming about it on discord. did they know they were going to ruin Me, Specifically, with this concept that feels like the culmination of everything kitt has gone through through the show and such a fascinating thing to think about in regards to michael and kitt's relationship,
one of the themes of knight rider is kitt developing as a Person, developing a line between the Knight Industries Two-Thousand, and Kitt. discovering humanity, his own emotions, the joys of the seemingly and logically pointless, and often through the lens of his own driver, his partner, his friend, Michael - his primary guide through all these experiences, his reference for those human things he doesn't understand. and as much as he initially claims to not be capable of experiencing emotions, of understanding feelings, he learns to. he experiences a wide range of emotions through the show even while claiming he doesn't, he even learns fear and insecurity. perhaps it's only natural a robot would learn to love, or at the very least be terribly curious about it and wonder if such a thing could ever exist for Him
the majority of people are not exactly kind to kitt. they talk about him like he's not there, they talk about him like he's a machine, a novelty, some people are even scared of or disturbed by him when all he's trying to do is make polite conversation and company. he's always Othered - there's no other cars like him (at least not anymore), but there's no other person like him either, he doesn't truly belong among humans or vehicles. some of the technicians at FLAG don't even seem to fully respect him as a person, at least they don't based on my vague recollection of how they talk about him in Junkyard Dog. when Michael asks him after KARR is destroyed if it feels good to be one of a kind again, he doesn't say yes or no - he only says it's a "familiar feeling." it may be familiar, but it's surely also isolating, and i think that's something he'd realize as he slowly picks up this curiosity about love. where could he even find it when so few people see him as an equal person to begin with?
and then there's michael. oh my god, and then there's michael. no matter what flavor you choose to read it in, the whole show is about their relationship, they're a duo, a set Not to be separated, they're Partners. they work together, they worry about and look after each other (forever insane about when kitt was a melted shell, Michael stuck around the garage for hours, waiting for any news like a worried spouse, constantly checking on him every opportunity he got... encouraging him to recover, and even helping paint back on his protective coating... kitt always looks after michael, but for once, it's michael's turn to look after Him), in a way they were Made for each other - Kitt more literally, being programmed for Michael and holding his namesake, but Michael was also made in a sense for the pilot program, hand picked and given a second life to work for the foundation and with this strange supercar. and even if they had a rocky start, michael comes to view kitt as a person - car, TV set, or computer core, Kitt is his partner, his buddy. he helps him find himself, guides him and teaches him about these things that make us human, and in a way, kitt becomes human - but his entire experience is still through the perspective of an AI in a car, it's still very unique and isolating, and I think he sort of grows into his own limitations, he's finally brushing against the walls that define him.
he learns of love, and then he learns to dream Of love. these things he sees in the movies, that michael tells him about, that he so often sees michael Partaking in that he gets so oddly jealous of, doesn't it all seem so wonderful? he's very curious. but who could ever love steel and circuitry, who could ever see him as an equal let alone a partner in a romantic sense? who would ever love a car and all the limitations That comes with? it's a problem for a hypothetical hopeful Some Day, in the meantime stuck between two worlds where he doesn't perfectly belong to either, where no car Can love him and no human seemingly Would love him...
and michael loves him anyway. before either of them really realize or talk about it, in spite of everything, in any form, regardless of the fact it wouldn't be a typical relationship by absolutely any means, michael loves him anyway. kitt is as much a person to him as bonnie or devon or RC, and that person is someone he loves and cares for deeply. the feeling is mutual, kitt's world revolves around michael, he's one of the most important people in kitt's life, and he'd do anything to protect him.
and it is michael that will finally teach him to love, and what it means to feel loved in turn, to be loved as the person he undoubtedly is.
#liz blogs#kr#knight rider#michael knight#kitt#robots#gay#this isnt writing. its rambling. its very insane rambling.#WHAT is the ship tag. i dont even know. fuck it we ball#michael x kitt#sure#knight rider spoilers#i saw someone make up a really good one but i cant remember what it was-- oh my god was it MK2000. was it. was that iT-#mk2000#retroactively gonna go tag all the fruity posts with that i dont care#do not even get me started on michael learning to love for the first time in This lifetime. ... literally dont get me started i havent seen#the last stevie episode yet. thats next weeks crying fit. but i feel like that's a piece i need#but stevie was michael Long's girl. part of His life. michael Knight can't go back to that. and maybe he Shouldn't#listen. its about michael teaching kitt to love. and kitt Letting him learn to love Again. something real besides his weekend flings#i need a lobotomyyyyyyy i need an ice pick to the brain i need to stop being completely fucking insane about robots#IF BEING INSANE ABOUT FICTIONAL ROBOTS WAS A JOB I WOULD BE A MILLIONAIRE#anyway michael is bisexual and a dashboard smoocher thanks for coming to my ted talk#homosexuality is rampant in the military jerry. thats a bisexual if ever i saw one. have you seen the way he dresses. he calls his car baby#if you dont watch knight rider and you read this i'm sorry i must look deranged#this ship is queer flavored even besides the fact its two guys. there's like four levels of queer flavoring in this bitch
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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would i be crazy if i drew every tsc protagonist. there's only about 36 of them it will be fine (<- incorrect)
#i started working on a drawing of all tid protagonists this afternoon#simply bc ive been meaning to draw all of them for a really long time#and im about 1/3 of the way through now and i was like ah i should draw all tmi protags too ive been wanting to as well#and then my next thought was obviously. why not Everyone <3#i would have to look up who exactly can be classified as tda protagonists though 😭😭 as i tried to count how many protags there are#i found i had no idea what even happens in tda. i think it's 10?#emma julian kit ty mark cristina kieran diana livvy dru?#....diego maybe? i read qoaad once in my lifetime i dont know much about him#OH HELEN...... i forgot about helen. good god there's so many blackthorns it's like every time you look away they multiply#that's 12.......but i still have no idea if all these people even have screentime#bc i also thought ragnor and lily had a decent amount of screentime in tmi and ragnor literally isnt even in any of the 6 books#anyway. i imagine i will give up by the time i get to the end of the tmi protagonists but who knows!#personal
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im the victim of a HORRIBLE TRAGEDY (couldn't find my CD with the promare OST in my big heavy box of CDs :((((((( )
#BUT WHERE IS IT IF NOT IN THERE#DID I HAVE CD OVERFLOW?? DID I PUT IN OTHER BOXES??#most of my belongings are in a stack of boxes under the stairs in my parents' house and i do not have the strength to rifle through them#the soundtrack is not really available on spotify and youtube so i was like thats fine ill just FIND MY PHYSICAL COPY OF THE CD#AND I'LL REMEMBER TO RIP IT THIS TIME BECAUSE APPARENTLY I DID NOT DO THAT WHEN I GOT IT#AHHHHHHHHHHHH#(like the music is not 100% unavailable online it's not lost media or anything it's fine)#i DO however. have my promare dvd#which i STUPIDLY ORDERED FROM AMERICA. FORGETTING THAT DVDS ARE REGION LOCKED. IM STUPID!!!! STUPID#vlc media will play it though so it's not useless either im just. im trying so hard im trying so hard i love this movie so much#but i wish it was more available to enjoy without so much effort!!!!#i hope my laptop will live a long good time because i managed to get one with a CD tray still#(the laptop in question has already suffered two blue screen deaths in its lifetime)#when i was young and naive i thought maybe the next generation of laptops will be able to play blu-ray which was the hot new thing#but what happened instead was that they got rid of cd trays. evil! evil evil
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Life is a constant game of shuffling the order of languages I want to learn
#mine#putting ASL on the back burner to prioritize Hebrew#and I have some Arabic basics (the alphabet basically) that I need to develop#the ultimate goal is to know ASL + UN languages + hebrew#maybe it’ll take a lifetime but I’m ok w that lol#(I have English and Spanish; Arabic is next for UN languages)#then Russian which I did used to know some very basics in#but I’ll be happy if I get asl and Hebrew learned#I’ll know four languages at that point which is more than enough#but I plan to be studying for the rest of my life
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There is a harbor in the sea of my soul. It has no lighthouse to speak of, no horns to call its name, no way to be found in times of desperate need. The spirits it houses find solace in the silence, the cool air, the darkness, lingering just out of sight, out of reach. I know it is there, and still I sink, ever so slowly, into the depths of the salty sea, my screams sinking with me- with me, without you.
There is a harbor in the sea of my soul which seldom speaks. It finds no need to share its worries, finds no comfort in the scattered company it may find, as I find no comfort in the cold cavern of my heart. And yet- in spite of its shyness- it spoke, in such a broken whisper, to you.
There is a harbor in the sea of my soul, and your soft spoken soliloquy slipped oh so gently into the depths of my mind and lit a spark on the edge of the dock, just enough to push me to swim, to pull myself up onto the shore, and there I lay, sinking now into the sweetest song, harmonies of the harbor melting into your silken voice.
There is a harbor in the sea of my soul, and now I sit on the edge, with my legs in the water, the silence ringing in my ears, and the harbor shares no safety as the waves grow and grow before me, and, alas, the spirits speak no more.
There is a harbor in the sea of my soul, and you sit upon it, stone faced as I am swept into the current.
#love#poetry#prose#mildly nonsensical#loss#what if#I miss you#not this lifetime#but maybe the next one#unrequited love#alliteration
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#I hope that if I don’t find love in this lifetime maybe the next one#and with that I need to go to bed😂 2am thoughts are never good#thoughts
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been having dreams of a certain yt boy as of late
#not the same boy as last like this a different one#this one’s real#and the dream played out like a cute little wattpad story too😭#so basically the scenario was that we were next door neighbors#kind of like a boy next door/ childhood best friends trope yk?#anyways he had called me and we were just chatting it up on the phone#and he was sounding all happy and excited about whatever tf he was talking about which was cute asfff😭#so as we’re talking on the phone im like ‘ykw lemme pull up to his place bcs i miss my man’#but as im packing my bag about to head out the door#his mood does a complete 180#like he just starts sounding all depressed and shit#then ofc i start pressing him like ‘yo what happened r you okay??’#and he’s like ‘yeah😢 don’t come over anymore😞😞 i gotta go😕’ and hangs up on me#and im standing there like ‘oh no😱 my bestie/lifetime crush is upset😨 i gotta get to the bottom of this🧐’#so obviously i got over to his house anyway#and bitch💀#when i open the door to his room#tell me why i find this man crying over some damn JJK LEAKS😭😭#bro was sitting at the edge of his bed tearing up at a manga panel of GOJO#anyway i felt like there was something deeper that was making him upset but then i woke up so who knows#and yeah that was my dream last night#maybe it’s all a sign…#[wp]#wasteland faves👩🏿❤️💋👩🏿
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i suppose i owe it to myself to not die but also to stop talking myself out of things that might make me happier because i would be a much better person for everyone around me if i were able to navigate the world in the way i want to because insecurity and bitterness and constant suicidalness do just make you not as kind sometimes i think. i would like to be confident enough in myself to speak and be seen and therefore be as kind as i feel i am on the inside. i hold back so many things because i am scared of being perceived so maybe if i let myself do the things that will help me be ok with being perceived then i will put more good out into the world. i always get hung up on the fact that i so badly want to be good and kind and i care so so much about other people but as it stands currently most people would not really bother too much if i wasn't here anymore because i'm so cut off from everything emotionally and physically. someone send me c.300 quid so i can pay for therapy and you can stop being subjected to posts such as these, by the way.
#who am i kidding the cheapest therapists here are 45 quid for one session and i have a lifetime of unpacked trauma#there is no hope for me#even today i was sat at this desk with two seats right#and these two girls came in and couldn't find two seats next to each other so they had to sit at separate desks#and i wanted to ask if they would like to swap seats with me so they could sit together#but i was already having such a bad and dysphoric day that the idea of someone hearing my voice was making me tear up in public#so i just didn't do anything. and then couldn't concentrate on my work because i felt guilty#i do this with literally every conceivable interaction by the way. i <3 being me#maybe my problem is that i pretend i do not care about anyone or anything but i am in fact the most sensitive person on this earth
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happy birthday to me. my brain gifted me ptsd flashbacks. so excellent, cool, glad to get that out of the way now so maybe the actual day-of my birth will be Normal(tm)
#never thought I’d say making a cake for someone was narratively significant but there we go#I shouldn’t be thinking of her last birthday on my birthday but here we are#next year I’m holding a farewell vigil for you#ten years is a nice solid number#ten years is enough time to mourn#say more sadie#sadie has mental illness#nineteen to twenty felt like a lifetime#so maybe twenty nine to thirty will be equally but positively transformative. maybe.
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coming back home
#maybe next year itll be real rangoli. anyway. finally getting back to (hindu) stuff. it has been a long couple of lifetimes lmfao#annyyywaaayyyy. red= mental. green=growth and the physical. dark blue= empyrean/divine beyond the sky. sky blue= sky#white= forces and flow/causal lines/etc#blue and white external eyes= god. teardrop shapes near those eyes= clouds#rest of it up to you good luck byeee#spiritual art
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what dont i understand about the fact i will never be a 150 lb white man with short brown hair. what dont i get.
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These so-called pundits simply don’t know what WE know. Like Red Bull is already advertising meeting Daniel Ricciardo Red Bull athlete at the next Australian GP and you mean to tell me these people know more than we know. Lmao
I’m sure Damon Hill is just reiterating whatever has been said in this article because mans needs to have his 5-min soundbite for this weekend.
And I would have given credence, maybe even accepted these kind of comments about him no longer having what it takes or simply not being ‘fit’ enough to race again if they were making these comments after the Silverstone test and there was legit tangible proof he definitely is no good. But apparently they prefer to make statements out of their asses based on their own shit perceptions
#like haven’t they seen my man literally shaking crying throwing up whoring himself out for a seat next year?#haven’t they seen him running to the track in those tiny shorts?#how can you say this man doesn’t have the commitment it takes to compete at the highest level???#anyway preparing myself for more of these shit takes even after the Silverstone test#because people need to remember that it’s a tyre test so maybe the times set on those prototypes wouldn’t exactly be comparable to times#set by the current rb drivers#like Daniel himself has said it is more than just lap times#and rb has evaluated enough drivers in their lifetime to know what to look out for#so the rest can stfu
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I was very ready for a warm, sappy conclusion and instead I got my heart fucking ripped out of my chest how dare you???!?
#october daye#be the serpent#spoiler-ish maybe?#i do not have a lifetime of experience with this emotional whiplash! i am a just a wee babby who needs sweetness to survive ;-;#should've waited until september so i could immediately start the next book which hopefully resolves at least some of this issue???
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