#maybe ill use social dummy more often in my posts

[candysharkart]

hi would u be willing to talk more ab ur belcher hcs that theyre all schizoaffective? :]

i can defs try! i cant promise i have really anything "smart" or insightful to say, cuz my husband and i just kinda draw from our own experiences :o

(if u are reading this and dont know what schizoaffective disorder is, im writing this w/ the definition of "a combination of schizophrenic symptoms and mood disorder symptoms like major depressive and bipolar disorder")

bob has felt the most schiz to us from the start, he's got his voices, which feel way more like he's acting as a mouthpiece for the objects he's talking to, rather than him just doing a bit. he knows its not "real" but also. it is to him. (i think hes also had some? hallucinations? but most are drug or stress induced and he also has a lot of cartoon dream sequences so...?) he struggles with paranoia and anxiety, and he's had pretty manic and depressive episodes in the show. i think he tries his best to stay grounded and self-aware with his delusions. he's very skeptical, and gets really irritated by misinformation. (probs also an affect of his autism tbh)

we also have a hc that he's more irritable and negative in the early seasons bc he's on meds that arent a good fit for him. (we dont really have meds hcs other than that. they might not be able to afford them)

linda's symptoms arent as obvious beyond her delusions like the raccoons and the cemetery stuff, but i think she's taught herself to suppress her issues so she could better support gayle who had more disruptive ones. her parents seem like the "stop being mentally ill its annoying" types. she has her own instances of paranoia and anxiety, but she mostly tries to smother and ignore anything negative she feels. VERY manic and impulsive tho. i think she also has some hallucinations in show but im drawing blanks on specifics.....

i would personally say tina is pretty depressive, but she's good at trying to cope in (mostly) healthy ways. her family is a good support system for her! she does have the most instances of visual hallucinations that arent cartoon bits (she seems to have them a lot when shes feeling guilty...) her anxiety and paranoia reminds me a lot of bob but also of gayle. they have similar outburts

gene has the least examples that i can think of.... i think he considers ken to be pretend and is just joking about him being real bc it annoys bob (compared to tina who thinks her horse Jericho is maybe...a little real) but i think he has some other hallucinations tht arent like that. hes surprisingly anti-social! he definitely often views himself as superior to the kids he knows. gets that from his dad lol. and his mania and impulsiveness are very much like linda :) he doesnt have depressive episodes as much as the others, but they hit him really hard :(

and louise! shes paranoid and has lots of aggression issues! to me she is also very depressed. (the puppet ep is esp relatable to me lol........) and she's VERY manic in the ambergris ep! i think she also has a couple instances of voices similar to bob's? but its kinda hard to tell the difference when shes still a kid who plays pretend with her toys. her talking to the taffy dummy feels more like what bob does tho.

i hope? thats the kind of hcs you were talking about? ive been trying to think of the right words for like 3 hours now. im very bad with words and so much of this stuff can also be attributed to other brain stuff, and one person can have a lot going on in one brain! so i hope i dont upset anyone with this post. thank u for ur time :)

[incorrect-green-day-quotes]

i tried a new format

[regrettablewritings]

Hi!😁 I'll give you another ship with my dear Lucifer morningstar from Lucifer cuz as it turns out I'm a hoe for a lot of characters but what can ya do? Thank you!

Aw hell yii, somebody's talkin' my lingo! 😎

Who the fuck put the Peeps in the microwave?: Lucifer. And no, it's not because he actually likes them or is curious about what would happen; he's seen plenty of Youtube videos enough to know exactly what happens. No . . . It's far more malicious . . . Generally speaking, you don't like the constant comparison of cats to the devil. But after getting to actually meet The Devil, you think that those believers might be on to something. Lucifer's whorey ways bleeds into his need for attention like red bleeds into white in the wash, and he's completely shameless about it. For example, if he feels like you may be focusing too much on work or, gasp, other people besides him, you run the risk of encountering a very . . . mischievous Luci. Not that he's not already a prankster, but he somehow becomes a bit more childish. Catlike in some respects. He puts your mugs up higher than what you can normally reach without having to climb on the countertop. He joins you at your kitchen table while you're reading over files for work and puts on his most angelic face, insisting he just wants to keep you company and will be as quiet as vermin in Dear Old Dad's house . . . then proceed to obnoxiously click a pen while pretending to solve a word problem, or eat cheese puffs obnoxiously loud. And then . . . the Peeps: The absolute prettyboy bastard used your microwave as a casualty of war, plopping the unplated, mutant-colored marshmallows directly on the glass and letting them go. To be fair, it technically didn't ruin anything. But at least he had your attention now -- because after fussing at him for making a mess, you were currently supervising him scrubbing not only the effected areas of the glass dish, but the rest of the microwave as well. Unfortunately, you can't say a lesson was really learned because now Luci knows that if he wants to get a rise out of you, what he needs is a bunch of candies from the bargain bin.

Who forgot to put the cat out before sex?: It's not that either of you forgot the cat was there -- it was that Lucifer wanted the bloody animal to give the both of you some privacy. And because Lucifer forgot the cat was there. He was simply too busy embracing you in a liplock and laying you down on the couch to notice the glaring eyes of the cat you had rescued from the shelter. Thankfully, you two didn't get very far before the lovingly-named Lucipurr released a meow, indicating that he had become flesh and bone in the few hours it had been since you'd last fed him. Suffice to say, after a startled Lucifer flung himself off of you and onto the floor, nearly breaking his ass on the coffee table (and the laughing fit that had induced on your end), the mood was killed. For the next fifteen minutes, that is. The next time he tried anything, Lucifer made sure that his efforts would be continued in the bedroom (but not before he did a complete check of every nook and cranny in there to make sure the furry bastard wasn't trying anything).

Who posts Vines/TikToks of the other doing embarrassing shit?: Lucifer absolutely lacks boundaries. The moment he discovered smartphones, social media, and all their potential, he was all in and recording as many videos of friends and coworkers as he could in as many awkward or unideal situations as they came. You felt bad for Dan being his constant target, but you were somewhat sure that Dan felt bad for you in a way: After all, you were dating the freaking guy and yet Lucifer had few qualms about posting a video of you, drunkenly singing karaoke in what was supposed to be a private room? Harsh.

Who breaks the most phones?: Lucifer does. He's not necessarily careless, but his part-time occupation does lead him to circumstances that tend to put his phone in danger. You, Chloe, Dan, literally everyone has told him to just leave his phone in the car if he's going to get it broken that often while on the job, but the dumbass never learns. Not that he really seems to care all that much: With his wealth, he can always buy a new one. Though, the only times he gets frustrated is when photos or videos don't quite make it to the transfer and things get lost along the way. Funny photos, suggestive videos, photos and videos of you . . . Photos and videos of you being funny or suggestive . . . Downright pornographic videos he had recorded of you -- Though don't worry: He's sure you'll be more than happy to help recreate the latter. He'd gladly help you . . .

Who dies first?: It should go without saying. It really should. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. Lucifer was always one to get caught up in his indulgences, after all: Somewhere along the way, he must've gotten too swept up in the thrill, the feeling of adoration. He tells himself this but it's really just denial. Closer to the truth is that it all really was just denial: He denied the idea that you would ever leave him, that you would ever die. Luci was never good with his own thoughts and feelings, but the way you made him feel was nearly enough to convince him that, in some way, you would just plain live forever. But of course, this was not the case: It didn't matter that you were fantastical enough to love and be loved by the Devil; you were still very much a human. Very much mortal. So susceptible to things like time and illness and injury. Lucifer was the King of Indulgences. It was extremely rare for him to experience regret. But when your time inevitably ran out, remorse filled him like smoke filled his lungs with every cigarette he ran through from the moment your funeral arrangements were decided. He could never regret knowing you, as much as part of him thought doing so would spare him this pain. He tried to think of how much better he might've been had he never met you, and it always felt like he was stuck in his own personal Hell Loop with everything going wrong over and over no matter how hard he tried to change it. He regretted that for as much time as he lived up with you, he felt like he didn't use nearly enough of that time to just . . . enjoy you. You in your mortality, your fleeting beauty and love that would nonetheless haunt him for however long he might go on for. So maybe . . . for eternity? This didn't feel like his own personal Hell Loop: This was his own personal Hell Loop. And until he learned to forgive himself, it would never end. So he'd be stuck here for maybe . . . eternity.

Which one I could see as being lactose intolerant: Neither. Unless they get brought down to mortal enough, Celestials generally don't suffer ailments, let alone from things like food allergies.

Who thinks they can do something really well even though they can't?: Lucifer . . . It's not that he's not smart. But by Dad, he is lacking in so much self-awareness that it can be maddening. He thinks he's pretty good at following Dr. Linda's advice (and, to an extent, he's progressing). But the fact of the matter is, he's incredibly troubling at best. Not nearly as bad as some patients, mind you, but when Linda admitted to you that one or two sessions of Lucifer completely misinterpreting her advice nearly drove her to consider adding a secret bar into her desk, you believed her and didn't blame her for one bit.

Who is more likely to get kicked out of bed?: Lucifer is a changed devil. But it's a very slow change. You're more than happy to understand and accept this, but that doesn't mean you have to let him and his issues walk all over you. Sometimes, the big dummy just says or does things without thinking -- or because he thought too hard and thought this was the best decision to avoid further strife. And you try to be patient with him about these tendencies, you really do. But that doesn’t erase your ability to be upset by these habits, or your right to be. And no amount of him buttering you up is going to be acceptable, even when he comes by your place, armed with a dish he so thoughtfully prepared for you. Nope, he can literally go to Hell with that (really, you’re sure the demons there would appreciate a nice beef wellington); you just need some space. Ironically, this may create a cycle wherein his need to make you happy again and have your attention on him drives him to constantly hover around you and attempt to win you over, which in turn just further frustrates you. It’ll likely keep going until you either snap or a loved one pulls Luci to the side and gives him a heads up that maybe he should respect your boundaries. After all, intention isn’t the problem here: It’s the actions taken. And as much as it hurts him knowing that he accidentally hurt you, he has to respect your need for time to cool off. He forces himself to go back to his place and tries to think less about how he feels and more about how you might feel, and try to work out ways to avoid similar incidents in the future. And even though the conclusions he comes to may not be perfect, you at least respect the effort -- particularly when he next sees you, no longer armed with snacks from your favorite bakery or bouquet-carrying teddy bears. Instead, all he has is an apology. It’s sheepish, and it feels foreign to someone who rarely experiences shame or regret, but you know his whole heart is in it even if he himself doesn’t understand entirely why that is. Which is good because that’s just part one of the process; part two involves him warming up that spot in your bed that’s reserved for him!

Who uses the computer the most?: You, absolutely. Lucifer's adorably but altogether completely crap when it comes to technology. Besides, he can easily find other things with which to amuse himself, and doing the paperwork is for other people anyway.

Thank you sooooo much for participating again!!! It really means a lot!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[gilmoregirlsbigbrother]

EPISODE #1

As the cast get settled into the Dragonfly Inn, tensions arise between a few guests. Personalities don’t always mesh and alliances are formed quickly in the first few days of the game. Let’s check in on the houseguests as we begin our journey on Gilmore Girlssssss Bigggggg Brother!

Andrew

Lov it is lit rally 6 hours ahead of est in italy and like my dummy dum dum ass was like oooooo lets play this fuckin game that starts in the middle of my italy trip?? so i love that for my brain. i saw the post, saw clash and dan got the twist thingy, talked to some people for a little bit, and then went the fuck to bed

Isaac

This cast fucking blows.

Randy

5 of the cast are women, 16 are bitches ding ding is it bad that i dont see myself not making it late game like i thought i had an uphill battle but these bitches accepted me so easily so this is gonna be easy

Chelsea

Hi everyone! I'm gonna try to stay on top of my shit but no promises. There are a lot of people that I don't know at all in this game, but so far Randy, Clash, Nick, and Dani have been the people to message me. Dani and I played Guyana together and did well, so it's nice to have her as someone to talk to this early on.

I don't really see any obstacles yet, it's all a matter of how i bring my game to the table and who i learn does it better. This is my second BB game so I have a little bit of learning to do since the gameplay is a bit different than Survivor.

I love the idea of going to Friday night dinner. Not only do i love dinner and Friday nights, but i think it's completely fair and chill. Your decisions may or may not help you and that's what I like. I enjoy seeing how advantages work for different people and how people make weaker ones work in their favor.

I joined this game last minute when I wasn't planning on playing for a while, so I'm still trying to get mentally prepared for the conversations and challenges ahead. I hope that doesn't put a target on my back.

Nick

https://youtu.be/KKrQn3xNd1A

( a little while later) 

Still no reply from Karen but according to Randy, Karen has a premade that she plans on sticking with all game. Randy also told me he wants me to win hoh but I don’t know if I really want it.

(a little while after that)

Karen messaged me which is a yay! I’m hoping he was just busy and didn’t see my message but who knows... can’t wait to play this first hoh and get last in it probably!

Andrew

at this point with the people left who can still win hoh.....i think theres a chance that dani or madison could put me up just bc idk them and im having very boring, fake conversation with them lmao. i love being a meninist! anyway-- i think id be fine with everyone else? i hope. so likeee fuck this hoh ig. i dont need it. if i somehow get it, ill just put up the people that ive talked to the least? also im lowkey worried JG would put me up just bc we arent talking a lot. i should talk to him more huh.. anyway i would hope im good w everyone else. nick - who i was worried about - even told me im good with him if he wins hoh and i told him same. so wow oh wow ive made my first deal of the game

Head of Household commences and Clash is the Head of Household after a water balloon fight. Alliances begin to form as a obvious friendship of Karen, Isaac, Ricky and Andrew is spotted by another emerging friendship of Nick, Madison and Randy. But, is everything as it seems? 

Liana

Hi first confessional here. I've been struggling with playing 2 games at the same time it's hard to keep up. Now i get some quiet time to catch up this lovely morning. This cast is fun and varied. I was excited to see some people I've played with in the past (Drew, Karen, Isaac, Andrew, Dan, and Ricky) and meet some new people. I'm finding it hard to message people because I hate the awkward small talk in the beginning but I don't want to get targeted. While I know those people from the past, they're also obstacles because I know, according to timestamps, Karen and Isaac targeted me in the HOH and they're probs definitely working together. I'm hoping I can stay under the radar for now and let large groups go after each other until I get a chance to build more relationships.

Madison

Let's review

In the past 24 hours I have: -implied f2 with Dan -implied f2 with Nick -f2 with Clash -Alliance with Nick and Randy -implied alliance with Bobby and Nick -alliance with Randy Adrian JG Clash

Nick

Clash winning HOH is acceptable! I think he trusts and likes me and he wanted me to win hoh when I was still in which shows something. On top of that we both had the same sorta idea to put Isaac and Karen up which I’m just here like “bye bye bitches” and these inactive players will hopefully learn how to speak some English.

Dan

Clash winning hoh is like a damn Hawaiian vacation for me. I don’t have to worry about being nominated, I still don’t have to talk to these crackheads, and I can maybe get noms how I want them. I love being pretty

Ricky

My first night in the Dragonfly Inn was riddled with terrible associative experiences in my real life, .org life, and romantic life. So....not great.

Adrian

im here and im ready to dominate

Drew

Right now i don't have a game, Andrew and I keep talking about maybe deciding to start playing but then everyone else who's like old school PI type people that we could tap (Ricky, Isaac, Karen) keep sucking massive ass

so the plan is to be just barely known enough to survive and then we'll reassess in like three rounds when i start wanting to win challenges

aka when the cast gets normal sized

Andrew

i mean im gonna work with isaac and ricky for sure i think bc we're a power trio and can fuck shit up when we put each of our single brain cells together. i like also wanna work with karen and/or drew and/or sammy bc they all me friends. i usually dont trust karen or drew for too long in games but like this is bb and not survivor and i play these 2 games v differently so we'll see what happens. madison and nick were really giving me nothing to work with night one even tho i wanted to have more indpeth convo with them. dan and jg i wanna try working with. clash..... we're gonna manipulate xoxo

clash has been involved with a lot of drama in this community and to be real i still dunno how i feel about him cuz like,,,,,ive only hosted him? and hes kinda immature but like also ig i can work close with him in an actual game and get better bearings on who he is.. maybe he can be a good ally? maybe i can just manipulate the fuck out of him and get him to say he loves me after knowing me for 6 days?

(a little while later)

me to dani: yeah it’s hard being in everyone’s pms haha Also me: rapid fire texting every single houseguest all the way from the homeland

(a little while later)

I'm tryna talk to everyone just so I'm not nominated because for whatever reason I have a bad track record of getting nommed week one? I only wanna win veto comps if I'm actually on the block. HOH rn is dumb and I'm just gonna do the bare minimum to keep myself from being nominated lol

(a little LATER after that)

okay so im gonna make a list from 1 being who i wanna mcshoot to 11 being no pls i dont wanna pull the trigger piglet

1. Madison ew smelly 2. Dani kinda smelly dont trust it 3. JG i like dunno where i stand w him 4. Clash i think he trusts me but that would be crackhead hour 5. Randy same with Clash but less hormonal(?) 6. Liana dont think she'd put me up.. 7. Karen same with Liana but im better fwiends w her uwu 8. Nick we made a deal so like? stick to it?? 9. Adrian a cool man that I wanna get closer to 10. Isaac we tryna power trio w him and Ricky 11. Ricky I think he'd have a better chance at beating Isucc

1 is take em out chief and 11 is sweet bb boi owo

(jesus take the wheel the cameraman gets super tired but Andrew keeps speaking)

Dear diary, clash won hoh today, and I hope he doesn’t put me up. If he does, then I’ll just bully him by constantly posting the screenshots of him confessing his love to Madison kimrey in the house chat. Till next time! Andrew <3

also yikes I guess dani assumes I’m the one who took her out in the challenge but like there were 8(?) of us left and lit rally lov we’ve talked for like 5 minutes so I could not give less of a shit lol

I could use Dani’s passive aggression to fuel a nuclear power plant

After the nomination ceremony where Isaac and Liana are nominated, tensions brew between Bobby and Isaac (which makes Isaac concoct a lie to make Bobby feel bad for being mean). The houseguests start to form alliances on late night calls, notably Madison’s two alliances Weiner Hard and The Chipettes. 

Nick

VL Cast Assessment/Opinions:

Adrian - We don’t exactly talk often but I feel quite safe with him... he gives me laying low type player vibes and I’m gonna let him do his thing! Overall like him a lot and there’s potential with him as an ally in the game.

Andrew - He’s quite chill! He and I talk a lot and I personally really like him and his attitude. I think he doesn’t scream threat but late game he may be the main social player and threat to win. I consider him a worthy ally

Bobby- I LOVE BOBBY! He’s overall really fun and has a great personality. We are definitely close in this game! The one issue is he makes it very clear he hates Ricky and that could put a target on him and possibly me if they think we are close. He’s someone who I will 100% have their back in the game

Chelsea - She’s sweet... nice personality and doesn’t seem to have any enemies. I think she’s a super nice person and there’s really nothing negative to say about them at the moment besides I wish we connected more sooner.

Clash - CLASH IS AMAZING! We knew each other way before this and we already had the bond but we never worked together... hopefully this time it will be different and we can work with each other long term!

Dan - I love him but the house thinks otherwise... people see him as a kind of a crazy over the top player based on past games... but in my opinion it’s better to have those types of people on your side rather than against you in these types of games...  sadly he might be a common target in this game.

Dani - Dani is so kind and I love her so much! We talk all the time  and the only issue I have with her is that she’s after Madison who I also like and trust. Their feud might ruin my game long term!

Drew - I like drew but I feel like he automatically thinks I’m with him because we know each other... we haven’t talked a ton but when we do I enjoy the talks a lot as he’s genuinely a good and funny guy!

JG - Same a Clash where I knew him before this and I trust him but we never played together! I think everyone likes him and he is someone who I gotta trust or I’ll fall out of the loop.

Karen - Rocky start but we actually talked a bit and connected a bit. I’m hoping for more but as of now I don’t trust Karen that much.

Liana - Chips wife omg I love you. they are nominated right now and I’m worried people will evict her because if she “puts the baby down” as some say, she may be really threatening long term in the game.

Madison - Hate this bitch... obviously joking but she can be trouble long term if I don’t keep an eye out for her... she’s going to create and be in drama and I gotta be ready to deal with the aftermath. Trust and love her but she can ruin everything for me in one day if she wasn’t in the right head space

Randy - This bitch is so funny! I want to work so bad with randy and I think it may actually happen! He is someone I hope I can count on long term in the game!

Sammy - We are slowly making connections and he reaches out to me very often so I’m happy to see someone is reaching out to make a bond with me rather the other way around! I’m excited for what’s to come!

Isaac - He might as well not talk to anyone at all because he’s basically inactive... he didn’t even speak to the hoh when they made nominations then got mad when they went up... it’s annoying that you think you deserve to stay over Liana who’s putting work in.

Ricky - I like him! He talks with me which is nice and I’m just overall looking forward to more conversations because I find him funny and interesting!

Andrew

I wasn’t nominated which was lit and clash said I’m one of his closest allies.. dunno if that’s true or not but I’ll run with it for now. Liana being nominated im neutral about but isaac could be an issue bc I’m supposed to be working with him. But sometimes he’ll go inactive in games? And idk why. I guess his aunts in the hospital which is a yikes but also he shouldn’t be surprised if he’s on the block. Also calling clash an incel and Bobby a dick in the chat is a look but also Bobby kinda WAS being a dick so like understandable. PS - who has the social tact now miss isaac? ... ily

Madison

Idk if I could trust Nick fully because he's already backstabbed Randiddy and my keeping things from both him and Bobby is just easier for me. I'm gonna keep my mouth shut this time and not cause too many fights but I also wanna fight most of these people. The noms are also sexy as hell and I hope Liana goes because she has a child to take care of and she should go back to that

Randy

https://youtu.be/QZC4skhewkg

The veto commences, and Sammy reigns victorious in the Word Ladder challenge. Isaac and Liana remain final nominees. But will rumors of the “premade” on a house call seal Isaac’s fate?

Ricky

literally not one single person has spoken to me today except sammy and he said hello and nothing else so i’m not doing shit until i am told anything

Randy

Andrew

so i think isaac is dying and people are coming to me like "i know hes ur fwiend uwu" and im like well im obviously not gonna be a dumb dumb bubblegum lookin ass bitch and rock any vote when im tryna play this UTR friendly to everyone game. my game rn is based purely on conformity and being a wallflower. so if isaac has to get sent down the river then bring me a boat bitch

Madison

i can't wait to evict all these boring ass people

[consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis]

5 Ways Going Gluten Free Changed My Life for the Better

New blog post!

I won't deny that, sometimes, eating gluten free or having celiac disease sucks. You have to read every label, turn down every cupcake at work and often pay a lot more for your favorite treats. 

However, if four years of celiac disease have taught me anything, it's that going gluten free came with its share of benefits as well. 

Not sure you believe me? Here are five ways going gluten free changed my life for the better. 

1. I'm no longer in a lot of pain every hour of every day. 

As I shared last week, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia at age 11. For those who don't know, fibromyalgia has two major symptoms: extreme fatigue and widespread, constant pain. I grew up believing that always feeling pain was "normal." My mom, who also has fibromyalgia, felt the same. 

And then celiac disease entered the picture at age 17. I ate gluten free as a result of my new diagnosis...but, slowly, I noticed that my old diagnosis was improving as well. I wasn't in as much pain as before. I didn't have as many debilitating migraines that required several physical therapy appointments to fix. I could exercise without feeling like I'd been run over by a truck for several days afterward. 

My mom tested negative for celiac but went gluten free with me anyway - and she now feels better than she has in decades. If I'm honest, that is one of the biggest blessings from going gluten free: the ability to do what doctors haven't been able to for years and help my mom live the less-painful life she deserves. 

2. I've learned how to cook...a pretty impressive amount of dishes! 

Pre-celiac, I barely touched the oven or stove on a regular basis. I could whip up baked potatoes, boxed mac and cheese and frozen chicken nuggets...and that's about it. When I was diagnosed with celiac disease, though, food was suddenly the key to my health. And I wanted to know as much about both as I could. 

So, we bought and checked out countless "gluten free for dummies" books and got to work. By my sophomore year, my college cafeteria could no longer make me celiac-safe meals...and I was on my own. Cue the steep learning curve of everything from chicken pot pie to pesto zoodles to my favorite allergy free pizza. 

Today, I can proudly call myself a foodie and an amateur chef without feeling the need to laugh. I cook at least once a day and will be cooking even more often when I'm living alone for grad school. And you know what? While that prospect would've terrified pre-celiac Casey, this Casey is always excited to get her hands movin' in the kitchen! 

3. I eat a healthier diet overall. 

Now, I'm not saying that I was eating an "unhealthy" diet before celiac. I was just the average "meat and potatoes" American teenager, never reading labels, enjoying plenty of processed foods and eating maybe a fourth of the vegetables I do now. 

I'm also not saying that I eat the perfectly "healthy" diet now. Shortly after my diagnosis, I became so obsessed about healing my body that I only ate "healing" foods - like fruits, veggies, whole grains. That wasn't healthy mentally or physically, and I would never adopt that mindset again. Nowadays, I eat more processed foods...but I also smash the daily guidelines for fruits, vegetables and whole grains.

My diet is healthier now because I am more aware of what I'm eating. I read labels. I try to choose products with the simplest and most whole food ingredients. I care about where my food comes from, and I load up my plate with more plant-based protein than meat. But I still know how to enjoy a delicious gluten free cupcake when the time calls! 

4. I've met countless wonderful people from all over the world through my celiac diagnosis. 

I'd I hadn't been diagnosed with celiac disease, I am 90% sure I never would have created this blog. I've always enjoyed writing and connecting with people, but celiac gave me a reason to publish my thoughts online: meet and inspire others with celiac in college. 

Since I clicked the first "publish" four years ago, I've received comments from people in Canada, Germany and countries I've never heard of. I've answered emails from mothers desperate for advice on their newly-diagnosed children. I've been inspired by - and hopefully have inspired in return - other bloggers who face similar medical challenges. 

For the last couple of weeks, the blog has been my life as I've updated the design, added some more personal posts and worked on growing my social media channels. I won't deny that it's been draining. However, one Facebook message asking to quote my blog in a research paper, one comment praising my transparency, or one viral post raising celiac awareness makes all of the work worth it. 

5. I'm in control of my own health and well-being. 

When you have a chronic illness, you may get used to not having control over your own body. With fibromyalgia, I sometimes never know what triggered a flare and just have to ride it out. Ironically enough, though, following a restricted diet has actually given me some of my control back. 

I can't "cure" my celiac disease but I can minimize its symptoms through a gluten free diet. I can choose to stick to the low fodmap diet that makes my body feel it's best...or decide to splurge on chips with salsa and guacamole and accept the bloated food belly that comes with it. 

When I hear about newly diagnosed celiacs or suspected gluten intolerant struggling with their limited diets, I want to tell them this: "Focus less on what you can't eat and more on what you can. Focus on your ability to directly impact how great you feel based on the foods you choose to eat. Focus on the choices that are still yours to make."

Going and staying gluten free isn't easy. It can be awkward to continually reject offers of pizza at college socials or to inform suitors about your special diet before every first date. However, most of the time, I wouldn't change a thing about my medical history or diet. 

Like this post? Tweet it out by clicking here: "This #celiac shared 5 ways going #glutenfree made her life better. Share your story using #gfchangedme! http://bit.ly/2rdR2Sz @collegeceliackc." 

Because, for better and for worse, going gluten free has transformed my life. And, this Celiac Disease Awareness Month, I'm focusing on the better. 

How has celiac disease or a gluten free changed your life for the better? Comment below and/or tweet your story using the hashtag: #gfchangedme

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[ongames]

6 Things About Loss That This Widow Wishes You Knew

While it doesn’t make headlines like some awareness days, May 3 has been proclaimed National Widows Day.

A faith-based Kansas City nonprofit called Wednesday Widows is behind the day, which began in 2014. The rest of the year, each Wednesday, this group sends handymen and hand-holders to the homes of grieving widows and widowers who need help. 

It’s great that so many people have adopted widows like me as a cause, but if a well-intentioned do-gooder called me up with an offer to repair my screens or fix my leaky toilet, I’d likely hang up on them. 

Why? Because that’s not what I need from the world right now. 

I lost my husband to a chronic illness four months ago. The average length of time U.S. widows have been alone is 14 years, according to Census data, so I’m a relative newbie to the club. But as I tell people, after more than a year of intense caregiving in which I lost my husband in small bits, I feel like I’ve been without him for a whole lot longer. 

Still, I’m all for supporting those who need and want support ― with a few caveats.

1. Widows are not monolithic.

There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to losing a loved one. All losses are not the same, nor do we all grieve the same way. Some of us shun grief counseling and others gravitate to it and hang on for dear life. 

So don’t assume you know how we are feeling. Trust me, half the time we don’t even know how we feel. Or even how we are supposed to feel. I keep meaning to read Grieving for Dummies, or really, any manual that would establish some order to this new universe I inhabit.

And there’s another thing: I love my husband and miss him horribly. But for me, his passing has been much easier to process than his caregiving needs were. His death is final; his caregiving was relentlessly awful and at times seemed endless ― until it ended.

Don’t ask me to explain it. Just understand that death, like life, isn’t always black and white.

2. Grieving isn’t a competition.

Please don’t compare my loss with your neighbor’s or your sister’s or even your own. As writer and widow Laurie Burrows Grad says, “Comparing grief is a totally useless cause. This is not a competition. The grief we feel has its own voice and should not be compromised by comparisons.”

Comparing grief is something you bump into a lot at grief groups. Who hurts the most: The widow who spent 50 years with her childhood sweetheart or the young widow left with three kids to raise on her own?

Why even go there? What’s the prize?

3. Widowhood can be deadly, but it isn’t contagious.

Yes, the “widowhood effect” is real. When a husband or wife dies, the chance of the surviving spouse dying over the next few months increases, according to the Harvard School of Public Health. The effect is reportedly strongest in the first three months after a spouse dies, when survivors’ chances of dying increase by 66 percent. The study followed 12,316 participants.

Researchers still don’t know what exactly causes the widowhood effect. Speaking as a former family caregiver, let me offer this hypothesis: When caregivers are busy taking care of their loved ones, there is no time to take care of themselves. They ― we ― ignore our own health. 

So while the widowhood effect is real, so is caregiver syndrome. In fact, a Stanford University study reported that 40 percent of Alzheimer’s caregivers die from stress-related disorders before their patient dies. In the pecking order of caregivers, the ones who deal with dementia day in and day out are like what Special Forces are to Army privates. We all fight the good fight, but they deserve the nation’s highest medals of honor.

The Stanford study found that family caregivers had lower physical well-being, higher stress levels, higher rates of chronic disease, and greater risk for depression, social isolation and financial losses than their non-caregiving counterparts. 

Widowhood and what frequently leads up to it can be a killer, but grief and loss are not contagious. You won’t catch anything, so you don’t need to avoid those of us who are mourning. In fact, we wish you wouldn’t.

Please don’t assume I don’t want to go out for dinner, or that if I drink wine, I’ll dissolve into a blubbering mess. 

4. There is no timetable for recovery.

Grief doesn’t run on a reliable schedule. Nobody can tell a grieving widow when she will feel better. The best I’ve been able to glean is that at some point, most of us realize that the good days are outnumbering the bad and that lives, including ours, march on.

Those five steps of grieving attributed to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross ― denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance? She wasn’t studying survivors who were grieving. Her research was with terminally ill cancer patients and how they faced their diagnoses. Those five steps were never meant to be taken as grief gospel, and frankly, they have birthed a cottage industry based on the premise that there is only one way to grieve. There’s not.

For each of us, it’s different. So try not to judge us if we don’t dispose of our loved one’s clothes in six months or a year or even six years. And when we decide to date again is between us and ourselves, with maybe a nod to any children who would be affected ― not you. 

5. Don’t be the ugly relative.

With every death comes possessions to be disposed of and people who will stake claim to them. Does a daughter-in-law get the same pick of mom’s jewelry as a daughter? Is it the biology or the emotional relationship that matters more?

Caregiving often brings out the worst in family relationships. Siblings quarrel over who carries the heaviest care burden. But then, along comes death ― and the vultures descend. 

Don’t be a vulture. Grief deserves respect. And respect shown begets respect given.

A friend’s grandmother passed away about two years ago at age 95. Grandma was able to live in her house until nearly the end of her life because one of her sons and his family moved in and took care of her. From the start of the arrangement, the rest of the family disputed the quality of the care she was getting and advocated selling the house and using the proceeds to pay for nursing home care. She died before that happened. Now the family members are totally estranged and only speak to each other through lawyers.

Can you envision piling that on top of grieving?

6. Maybe I need your help, or maybe I just need your kindness.

On behalf of all those widows in the Kansas City area who want someone to come and fix their leaky toilets, I salute the group that will be there on Wednesday to do that. 

My needs at the moment are not as simple as a plumbing repair. What I need is for the world to be a little softer and gentler when I’m around.

Every script-reading person at the Social Security Administration who has put me on hold for an hour, every IRS clerk who can’t understand that a taxpayer’s death in 2017 doesn’t have anything to do with a 2016 tax year filing, every condescending salesman who tries to get out of honoring a product warranty ― yeah, Mr. Outdoor Cushion Guy, I’m talking to you ― can’t you please try a little harder?

Every tweet that mocks someone, every hateful word that is leveled, every side-eye that’s thrown in my presence rocks me. 

Am I being realistic? No. But putting kindness out in the world might help more than you know ― even if you don’t know any widows.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

6 Things About Loss That This Widow Wishes You Knew published first on http://ift.tt/2lnpciY

[yes-dal456]

6 Things About Loss That This Widow Wishes You Knew

While it doesn’t make headlines like some awareness days, May 3 has been proclaimed National Widows Day.

A faith-based Kansas City nonprofit called Wednesday Widows is behind the day, which began in 2014. The rest of the year, each Wednesday, this group sends handymen and hand-holders to the homes of grieving widows and widowers who need help. 

It’s great that so many people have adopted widows like me as a cause, but if a well-intentioned do-gooder called me up with an offer to repair my screens or fix my leaky toilet, I’d likely hang up on them. 

Why? Because that’s not what I need from the world right now. 

I lost my husband to a chronic illness four months ago. The average length of time U.S. widows have been alone is 14 years, according to Census data, so I’m a relative newbie to the club. But as I tell people, after more than a year of intense caregiving in which I lost my husband in small bits, I feel like I’ve been without him for a whole lot longer. 

Still, I’m all for supporting those who need and want support ― with a few caveats.

1. Widows are not monolithic.

There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to losing a loved one. All losses are not the same, nor do we all grieve the same way. Some of us shun grief counseling and others gravitate to it and hang on for dear life. 

So don’t assume you know how we are feeling. Trust me, half the time we don’t even know how we feel. Or even how we are supposed to feel. I keep meaning to read Grieving for Dummies, or really, any manual that would establish some order to this new universe I inhabit.

And there’s another thing: I love my husband and miss him horribly. But for me, his passing has been much easier to process than his caregiving needs were. His death is final; his caregiving was relentlessly awful and at times seemed endless ― until it ended.

Don’t ask me to explain it. Just understand that death, like life, isn’t always black and white.

2. Grieving isn’t a competition.

Please don’t compare my loss with your neighbor’s or your sister’s or even your own. As writer and widow Laurie Burrows Grad says, “Comparing grief is a totally useless cause. This is not a competition. The grief we feel has its own voice and should not be compromised by comparisons.”

Comparing grief is something you bump into a lot at grief groups. Who hurts the most: The widow who spent 50 years with her childhood sweetheart or the young widow left with three kids to raise on her own?

Why even go there? What’s the prize?

3. Widowhood can be deadly, but it isn’t contagious.

Yes, the “widowhood effect” is real. When a husband or wife dies, the chance of the surviving spouse dying over the next few months increases, according to the Harvard School of Public Health. The effect is reportedly strongest in the first three months after a spouse dies, when survivors’ chances of dying increase by 66 percent. The study followed 12,316 participants.

Researchers still don’t know what exactly causes the widowhood effect. Speaking as a former family caregiver, let me offer this hypothesis: When caregivers are busy taking care of their loved ones, there is no time to take care of themselves. They ― we ― ignore our own health. 

So while the widowhood effect is real, so is caregiver syndrome. In fact, a Stanford University study reported that 40 percent of Alzheimer’s caregivers die from stress-related disorders before their patient dies. In the pecking order of caregivers, the ones who deal with dementia day in and day out are like what Special Forces are to Army privates. We all fight the good fight, but they deserve the nation’s highest medals of honor.

The Stanford study found that family caregivers had lower physical well-being, higher stress levels, higher rates of chronic disease, and greater risk for depression, social isolation and financial losses than their non-caregiving counterparts. 

Widowhood and what frequently leads up to it can be a killer, but grief and loss are not contagious. You won’t catch anything, so you don’t need to avoid those of us who are mourning. In fact, we wish you wouldn’t.

Please don’t assume I don’t want to go out for dinner, or that if I drink wine, I’ll dissolve into a blubbering mess. 

4. There is no timetable for recovery.

Grief doesn’t run on a reliable schedule. Nobody can tell a grieving widow when she will feel better. The best I’ve been able to glean is that at some point, most of us realize that the good days are outnumbering the bad and that lives, including ours, march on.

Those five steps of grieving attributed to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross ― denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance? She wasn’t studying survivors who were grieving. Her research was with terminally ill cancer patients and how they faced their diagnoses. Those five steps were never meant to be taken as grief gospel, and frankly, they have birthed a cottage industry based on the premise that there is only one way to grieve. There’s not.

For each of us, it’s different. So try not to judge us if we don’t dispose of our loved one’s clothes in six months or a year or even six years. And when we decide to date again is between us and ourselves, with maybe a nod to any children who would be affected ― not you. 

5. Don’t be the ugly relative.

With every death comes possessions to be disposed of and people who will stake claim to them. Does a daughter-in-law get the same pick of mom’s jewelry as a daughter? Is it the biology or the emotional relationship that matters more?

Caregiving often brings out the worst in family relationships. Siblings quarrel over who carries the heaviest care burden. But then, along comes death ― and the vultures descend. 

Don’t be a vulture. Grief deserves respect. And respect shown begets respect given.

A friend’s grandmother passed away about two years ago at age 95. Grandma was able to live in her house until nearly the end of her life because one of her sons and his family moved in and took care of her. From the start of the arrangement, the rest of the family disputed the quality of the care she was getting and advocated selling the house and using the proceeds to pay for nursing home care. She died before that happened. Now the family members are totally estranged and only speak to each other through lawyers.

Can you envision piling that on top of grieving?

6. Maybe I need your help, or maybe I just need your kindness.

On behalf of all those widows in the Kansas City area who want someone to come and fix their leaky toilets, I salute the group that will be there on Wednesday to do that. 

My needs at the moment are not as simple as a plumbing repair. What I need is for the world to be a little softer and gentler when I’m around.

Every script-reading person at the Social Security Administration who has put me on hold for an hour, every IRS clerk who can’t understand that a taxpayer’s death in 2017 doesn’t have anything to do with a 2016 tax year filing, every condescending salesman who tries to get out of honoring a product warranty ― yeah, Mr. Outdoor Cushion Guy, I’m talking to you ― can’t you please try a little harder?

Every tweet that mocks someone, every hateful word that is leveled, every side-eye that’s thrown in my presence rocks me. 

Am I being realistic? No. But putting kindness out in the world might help more than you know ― even if you don’t know any widows.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from http://ift.tt/2oXDEo2 from Blogger http://ift.tt/2qFHKgW

[imreviewblog]

6 Things About Loss That This Widow Wishes You Knew

While it doesn’t make headlines like some awareness days, May 3 has been proclaimed National Widows Day.

A faith-based Kansas City nonprofit called Wednesday Widows is behind the day, which began in 2014. The rest of the year, each Wednesday, this group sends handymen and hand-holders to the homes of grieving widows and widowers who need help. 

It’s great that so many people have adopted widows like me as a cause, but if a well-intentioned do-gooder called me up with an offer to repair my screens or fix my leaky toilet, I’d likely hang up on them. 

Why? Because that’s not what I need from the world right now. 

I lost my husband to a chronic illness four months ago. The average length of time U.S. widows have been alone is 14 years, according to Census data, so I’m a relative newbie to the club. But as I tell people, after more than a year of intense caregiving in which I lost my husband in small bits, I feel like I’ve been without him for a whole lot longer. 

Still, I’m all for supporting those who need and want support ― with a few caveats.

1. Widows are not monolithic.

There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to losing a loved one. All losses are not the same, nor do we all grieve the same way. Some of us shun grief counseling and others gravitate to it and hang on for dear life. 

So don’t assume you know how we are feeling. Trust me, half the time we don’t even know how we feel. Or even how we are supposed to feel. I keep meaning to read Grieving for Dummies, or really, any manual that would establish some order to this new universe I inhabit.

And there’s another thing: I love my husband and miss him horribly. But for me, his passing has been much easier to process than his caregiving needs were. His death is final; his caregiving was relentlessly awful and at times seemed endless ― until it ended.

Don’t ask me to explain it. Just understand that death, like life, isn’t always black and white.

2. Grieving isn’t a competition.

Please don’t compare my loss with your neighbor’s or your sister’s or even your own. As writer and widow Laurie Burrows Grad says, “Comparing grief is a totally useless cause. This is not a competition. The grief we feel has its own voice and should not be compromised by comparisons.”

Comparing grief is something you bump into a lot at grief groups. Who hurts the most: The widow who spent 50 years with her childhood sweetheart or the young widow left with three kids to raise on her own?

Why even go there? What’s the prize?

3. Widowhood can be deadly, but it isn’t contagious.

Yes, the “widowhood effect” is real. When a husband or wife dies, the chance of the surviving spouse dying over the next few months increases, according to the Harvard School of Public Health. The effect is reportedly strongest in the first three months after a spouse dies, when survivors’ chances of dying increase by 66 percent. The study followed 12,316 participants.

Researchers still don’t know what exactly causes the widowhood effect. Speaking as a former family caregiver, let me offer this hypothesis: When caregivers are busy taking care of their loved ones, there is no time to take care of themselves. They ― we ― ignore our own health. 

So while the widowhood effect is real, so is caregiver syndrome. In fact, a Stanford University study reported that 40 percent of Alzheimer’s caregivers die from stress-related disorders before their patient dies. In the pecking order of caregivers, the ones who deal with dementia day in and day out are like what Special Forces are to Army privates. We all fight the good fight, but they deserve the nation’s highest medals of honor.

The Stanford study found that family caregivers had lower physical well-being, higher stress levels, higher rates of chronic disease, and greater risk for depression, social isolation and financial losses than their non-caregiving counterparts. 

Widowhood and what frequently leads up to it can be a killer, but grief and loss are not contagious. You won’t catch anything, so you don’t need to avoid those of us who are mourning. In fact, we wish you wouldn’t.

Please don’t assume I don’t want to go out for dinner, or that if I drink wine, I’ll dissolve into a blubbering mess. 

4. There is no timetable for recovery.

Grief doesn’t run on a reliable schedule. Nobody can tell a grieving widow when she will feel better. The best I’ve been able to glean is that at some point, most of us realize that the good days are outnumbering the bad and that lives, including ours, march on.

Those five steps of grieving attributed to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross ― denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance? She wasn’t studying survivors who were grieving. Her research was with terminally ill cancer patients and how they faced their diagnoses. Those five steps were never meant to be taken as grief gospel, and frankly, they have birthed a cottage industry based on the premise that there is only one way to grieve. There’s not.

For each of us, it’s different. So try not to judge us if we don’t dispose of our loved one’s clothes in six months or a year or even six years. And when we decide to date again is between us and ourselves, with maybe a nod to any children who would be affected ― not you. 

5. Don’t be the ugly relative.

With every death comes possessions to be disposed of and people who will stake claim to them. Does a daughter-in-law get the same pick of mom’s jewelry as a daughter? Is it the biology or the emotional relationship that matters more?

Caregiving often brings out the worst in family relationships. Siblings quarrel over who carries the heaviest care burden. But then, along comes death ― and the vultures descend. 

Don’t be a vulture. Grief deserves respect. And respect shown begets respect given.

A friend’s grandmother passed away about two years ago at age 95. Grandma was able to live in her house until nearly the end of her life because one of her sons and his family moved in and took care of her. From the start of the arrangement, the rest of the family disputed the quality of the care she was getting and advocated selling the house and using the proceeds to pay for nursing home care. She died before that happened. Now the family members are totally estranged and only speak to each other through lawyers.

Can you envision piling that on top of grieving?

6. Maybe I need your help, or maybe I just need your kindness.

On behalf of all those widows in the Kansas City area who want someone to come and fix their leaky toilets, I salute the group that will be there on Wednesday to do that. 

My needs at the moment are not as simple as a plumbing repair. What I need is for the world to be a little softer and gentler when I’m around.

Every script-reading person at the Social Security Administration who has put me on hold for an hour, every IRS clerk who can’t understand that a taxpayer’s death in 2017 doesn’t have anything to do with a 2016 tax year filing, every condescending salesman who tries to get out of honoring a product warranty ― yeah, Mr. Outdoor Cushion Guy, I’m talking to you ― can’t you please try a little harder?

Every tweet that mocks someone, every hateful word that is leveled, every side-eye that’s thrown in my presence rocks me. 

Am I being realistic? No. But putting kindness out in the world might help more than you know ― even if you don’t know any widows.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from Healthy Living - The Huffington Post http://huff.to/2qyCNaP