#maybe i'll come back to this in thr future

[mahikamihan]

the fnf shenanigans continue

[bolithesenate]

Boli I saw your wip game post and my god that's a lot of wips lol, I'm mostly curios about this ones:

anti anarchist royalists

no witches

the heart of a star is home

cache lineage

true sith padme (tale the l palpy)

fuck it all

come ooooon, tell me what your brewing!

*cracks knuckles* Okay, here we go

anti anarchist royalists - this one is a original fiction writing exercise for the fantasy writing course I am in. I got the prompt "a young and inexperienced king tries to stop his kingdom from falling into anarchy" and the main purpose of the exercise is to figure out how to describe characters

this is everything I have so far and I'm not sure if I'll add some more bc I'm actually quite happy with it even though I am miles away from the recommended word count lol

Augustin folded his hand in front of his face and observed the chaos that lay before him. Noblemen screaming their lungs out left, right and center, none really getting the point across they would liked to have made. Maybe that wasn’t the worst thing though, he thought. He’d seen what their ‘points’ had done to his mother’s reign – as well to the short time his dear sister had claimed the crown that was slowly and steadily making its way down the back of his head. It was technically his sister’s crown and thus made for a woman two heads taller than him and with the thick hair befitting her heritage and station. They hadn’t had time to fashion one for him properly, the people who’d led him to his crowning had said – but Augustin knew that was not true. His sister’s guard, those that had stayed, hadn’t even bothered to hide their whispers.  Everyone expected him to last a week at the utmost on this damn throne. His nanny-turned-head-maid had even told him so straight to the face, just this morning. She’d been braiding his hair in an attempt at providing some support for the crown and tried to talk him into slipping some sharp hairpins in. You know, just in case a would-be-assassin came into stabbing distance. Which was unlikely, from everything Augustin knew of their ilk. Assassins tended to stay in the shadows and way out of reach of their intended marks. Those that didn’t, didn’t stay assassins for long. At least that’s what he had gathered from the fact that the head of the palace guard and the spymaster were still looking for the man – or woman – that had taken his sister’s life. Only barely suppressing a sigh, he reached up, pulled the crown back into position and winced. The ominous mass of gems and gold immediately had jabbed one of the sharp pins into his scalp. Great. Heavy crown, heavy mantle, heavy heart – Augustin was just fourteen, palace-pale and definitely not made to be king. Least of all king of a nation that was so dedicated to tearing itself apart as Vesna.

no witches - this one is a future part of the mud fic universe, centered around Sheev's (mis)adventures on Dathomir and the weird situationship he strikes up with Talzin during it.

It's also the fic I have started coming up with the dathomiri conlang for, so there's that

(Ig this makes little sense if you haven't read the mud fic, but the tldr is that Sheev was kidnadopted away from his og family by Jaster and so is about 50% more stable in his life choices down the road)

Well after the sun had gone back down again, the little witchling returned. Only this time, she carried a thick, leather-bound (Sheev hoped it was leather) honest-to-the-Stars book with her. By the Manda, Jaster should never be allowed to know of this, lest Silas reconsidered his stance on expansive politics. Conquering worlds over rare books was not something that had been done before in Manda'yaim's history, but if his buir had shown anything so far then it was his neverending willingness to pave new ways. Her yellow eyes flitted towards him, then to the book and she let the thing plop down on the dirty floor. The wince that went through Sheev at that sight was entirely the fault of the rigorous conditioning Jaster had put him through in regards to proper handling of precious artifacts. Nothing more. He didn't care for old books, after all. The witchling's grubby little hands pawed over the pages of the thing, flipping back and forth until she seemed to have found what she was looking for. Hopefully not some sort of crazy witchcraft magic spell. That green fire everywhere was really starting to give Sheev eye strain. If he got myopic during his stay here they were going to pay for his contact lenses, that Sheev swore to himself. Then his attention was drawn back to the witch-child, who started sounding out words. "Ssah-," she tried, but broke off with a frown. "Ssuh," her face did weird things as she sounded out the words - at least Sheev assumed that's what those were trying to be, "Zuh-ee…kar?" Yellow eyes wandered up at Sheev, seeming almost hopeful? Which was weird. Sheev scowled. For good measure.

the heart of the star is home - now this i am excited to talk abut, because it's my ghiblification origin story for Feemor! We all know and love him as the one normal guy in the disaster lineage, but I say what if that is all very hard work on his side!

His father might be a farmer (and proud o that) but his mother is the spirit of the desert their family cultivates XD

It also gives me the opportunity to smol Feemor, which is a joy in and of itself

He moved through the field of glowing lights, Feemor in his arms. With every step Audunn took, the glowing, hovering points closest to them shifted, parting and making way. Then, the man raised his voice and a smile was plastered on his face, the burnt skin around his eyes and cheeks crinkling in delight. “Najm,” he called out, “Look who has returned!” And while Feemor’s mind was preoccupied with following the implications of those words, the lights all around started to move. As if someone had dropped a loadstone in a bucket of magnets, all the individual points of light coalesced into a rising, writhing flame in the sand before them.  Audunn’s milky eyes reflected the multicolored fire like mirrors, shadows deepening the laugh lines around his mouth and the mottled skin above. It would have been scary if Feemor hadn’t felt the genuine love and joy radiating off the man. Yet he couldn’t look directly at the flame. He tried to and the Force screamed in warning – and with the Force rang a second, lower warning, like a woman whistling in the night.

now for cache lineage - this one is all about Jocasta and her padawans! Listen, the moment I learned she had three whole students in (eu) canon, I knew I HAD to do something with it. The thing that popped out eventually was the start of my first ever chatfic, so....

('cache lineage' is the name I have given their lineage because I think it fits nicely) (Ole Bole is Olee Starstone, Mr.Galaxywide is Jerec and Grandstand is Jocasta Nu. Jin-Lo is self-explanatory)

Box Office Hit Ole Bole: who tf changed the chat name? Ole Bole: rude Mr. Galaxywide: guess Mr. Galaxywide: also, Master whi is this traitor still in the chat? exile her now Ole Bole: TRAITOR?! Ole Bole: I’ll show you traitor you ******* ******* *** *********** Ole Bole: wtf what’s that Ole Bole: what is happening Mr. Galaxywide: guess you got censured, Ol. ***** ** **** Mr. Galaxywide: D:?! Mr. Galaxywide: really? suck is censured?! Mr. Galaxywide: OH NOW IT WORKS?!?!! Mr. Galaxywide: ***!?!?! Mr. Galaxywide: ******* ********* ***?? Ole Bole: @ Grandstand what is going on??? Ole Bole: @ Grandstand Ole Bole: @ Grandstand Ole Bole: @ Grandstand Mr. Galaxywide: @ Grandstand Mr. Galaxywide: @ Grandstand Mr. Galaxywide: @ Grandstand Mr. Galaxywide: @ Grandstand Mr. Galaxywide: @ Grandstand Grandstand: Preemptive safety measures. Grandstand: Children, behave. @ Grandstand has added @83365299 to the Chat @ Grandstand changed @83365299 to @ Padawan Learner Rayce Padawan Learner Rayce: Thank you, Master Nu Padawan Learner Rayce: :D Ole Bole: A BABY?!?!?! Padawan Learner Rayce: Hi, I’m Jin-Lo Rayce, happy to be here. Padawan Learner Rayce: I’m not a baby, I’m 12? Mr. Galaxywide: A BABY!!!!!!

true sith padme - that one was my very impulsive 'a sith is just nine handmaidens and a queen in the same trenchcoat' fic where Padme and company get to be the unhinged teens they were meant to be. They also cause enormous psychological damage to Palpatine because in true naboo fashion they all chose very similar sith names and also switch places willy-nilly to cause more confusion

This actually had one chapter already published, but I've been very lazy with working on the next one. nonetheless, here, have a snippet of a later thing

<Pretender, you do not know what Forces you play with. My wrath will- > "I'm sorry," Eirtaé interrupted the cloaked figure, "I think you have the wrong comm number. Who are you?" <What?!,> the cloaked stranger spat, <I am DARTH SIDIOUS, and you, 'Darth' Akako, are a pretender to the Line of Bane and I–" "Ah, yes, I see now," Eirtaé interrupted him once again, "No, I am not Darth Akako, I am Darth Shirogo. Darth Akako is my cousin thrice removed." Then, after a very brief moment of consideration, she added, "She is known for her rogue actions, if you have an official complaint, please direct it to the High Council. I will transmit their contact right now." She sent the guy Dormé's private comm. The older Handmaiden would know how to stall for time better than her. <You–!> "Thank you for your time and have a good day, good bye!," she cheered and then cut the line, the fake smile that had split her face immediately falling. Grumbling, Eirtaé rubbed her cheeks. Just what the kark were Padmé and Sabé doing out there? And who the fuck had given this old creep her comm number?!

and last but not least

fuck it all - the one and only crossover i'll likely ever write. That's my witcher/lotr crossover where Thranduil and some guard ocs get transported into the witcherverse and proceed to adopt their way through the ranks of protagonists

Another already published thing i should fix up a new chapter for at some point, but after the latest weirdnesses with how the witcher series was treated by netflix it kinda lost its shine. i'll return to it one day though.

Until then, have this. I like to think I am hilarious.

Thranduil looked at the young edain with the rather garish red doublet (the scale-like detailing of the fabric woke unpleasant memories and seemed a bit distasteful). The man was currently drinking what must be the fourth or fifth tankard of beer since Thranduil had entered the dimly lit establishment and he was still holding up pretty well. This, coupled with the fine lute leaning on the side of his chair sealed the deal. ‘He certainly looks like a sensible young man’, the Elvenking thought. “Young man.” There was a benevolent smile on his face as Thranduil tapped the edain’s shoulder to gain his attention. The man reared back, startled, and stared at him with big brown eyes that were red and swollen, as if he had cried not long ago. ‘Oh dear’, Thought the Elvenking now, but it was too late. His smile took a tad of a strained note. Hopefully it wasn’t recognizable. “Young man, I may have a business opportunity for you.”

[cboffshore]

The IDKHOW phase is mixing with the Skybound obsession. You know what that means: time to draw some big fat lyrical parallels.

Tonight's victims: Jay, specifically as he spends most of Skybound, and "DOWNSIDE", the opening track of the new album GLOOM DIVISION. (These two pieces of media have nothing to do with each other except for being something I like to rip into, which is all the justification I need to do this.)

Under the cut we go!

For your easy reference: here's the music video for "DOWNSIDE". Somehow I haven't watched the whole thing yet, so that doesn't factor into this mini analysis - and I don't want it to. We're staying lyrical here.

So! Start of Skybound. Jay. In a nutshell, his actions for this and much of the rest of the season hinge on the s5 vision in the ice. We know that. In listening to "DOWNSIDE" for the first time, I was struck by the self-centrism of the lyrics. Here's the pre-chorus and chorus as an example, although this very needy, me-me-me, Jay-style "maybe this is how it happens, maybe this is how I get her back" is pervasive in the track. Note all the highlights:

Awfully self-centered, yeah? It actually gets more interesting when the lyrics twist. The chorus and outro all feature a similar motif: imagery of placing coins, in this case pennies, on the eyes of the deceased to help them pay for their journey to the afterlife. In both choruses, we get the same first-person focus as the rest of the song - the speaker, who in Skybound would be Jay, subtly prioritizing his own future with little regard for the subject of the song - Nya, the target of his pining. Wording changes just slightly between choruses, but the core sentiment stays the same:

And then we pull up to the outro - which, when viewed through the "holy shit this is the first on screen Death they've showed" lens of the finale, is... it sure is something!

See, here's the thing - Jay's last wish comes off as selfless, and on some level it is, as reflected in this sudden realization of what the pennies on HER eyes will do with the shift to second person. However: it's also motivated by his desire to still have a chance with her. This, we see in those last two lines, which echo the earlier sentiment of "It's so hard [for me] to take a look at the downside." Does this drag that sudden realization of Nya's needs and autonomy down? Not entirely, but it raises some eyebrows.

Anyway, as a closer note that helps this whole song classify as a Jay one, here's a note from thr Genius page for "DOWNSIDE" explaining the context a bit:

Yeah. Sounds like Jay to me.

Anyway - sorry this is so loose and unrefined. I've been sick all day with nothing to do but rotate the new music and my other interests while lying in bed, and, uh... I guess this is what happens! Maybe someday I'll come back and make this nicer, but for now - do you see it, too?

[lal-ffxiv]

...

okay last thing before going to sleep otherwise I won't sleep or I'll forget. Cuz I meantioned Asdis' curse and blessing and I'm sure there like an actually writing term for the cross of a tragic flaw and the monkey's paw. Or just concept that every blessing is a curse and every curse is blessing as something that will help oc in their life and constantly draw them back just as much. (Yes I did watch Ella Enchanted at formative age and then was banned from watching it because of normal reason thus making it my favorite movie)

of course I talk alot of Luka's because its quite real for them Menphina's blessing soothes their heartaches and comforts their sorrows and with overcoming that pain naturally Luka doesn't grow as person. Stuck in this cycle some days more than others. Forever delightful and distant. While it motivates them and aid them in pushing forward and same time is doubt of Luka's strength. Do they carry the world while not feeling its weight because they leave that burden to others and Luka can't have that doubt bother them that long.

But for Asdis its not really know to her. Just starting with her adopted parents. This elderly couple find this werid looking toddler in the veggie patch one day and just fall in love with her. The child they never had despitely quickly growing twice their size and just being creepy (asdis empathic abilities) somtimes. Even Asdis commits murder/mansaulgher I forget which it is. They can't be mad at her and Asdis doesn't feel like what she did is wrong. While feels that intial horror, the worry that concern. Her parents reassure her so surely that she doesn't feel her own remorse. And then with her aunt the woman doesnt like her. The woman might actually despise her but even still Asdis is cared for and protected in her home because thats her niece and you love family (this coming from the woman that hasnt spoken with her sister on princple for many years and stole her family's wealth when she moved to an enmey city). Her aunt trust her so much and isnt that a kind of love to be given someone's last request. and of course Asdis' never-to-be husband that worships the ground she walks one because he werido. Spends years stalking (waiting) for her as she possesed by a voidsent and ultimately giving up his life for her. Asdis is so loved that she taken from the people that love her so much. [Wording here is delibraite because Asdis can never be sure she loves someone genunie because she feels their love for her stronger than her own emotion. I mean Asdis felt her emotions once and a guy died] her aunt's dying wish leads to massace in sil'dih. Even the voidsent getting fed emotions via Asdis' empathy feels that emotion that the two entwined by some feeling more than anything else after to 1000 years or so. At that point Asdis is scared that Achlys will somehow leave her but that impossible right? Freaking shadowbringers seprerating her soul from the voidsent. Like did thr crystal exarch not read the purchuse recommendatiosn. So yeah that repeating thing in asdis story. That love isn't the thing that makes Asdis good. Its usually a path to being more evil. As how she felt their love too feed Asdis' delusions of grandeur too so thats great. Maybe being hated would fix her.

Luken is his own blessing and curse. He master of his own fate (no matter how much he wants to ask the spinner why?? It is just him). He just a dude trying to live his life and he keeps making a hot mess of it. Luken has choice to help himself and he doesn't. Luken walks the fine line between self-sabotage and being his best self everyday. Like he could be legitmate busness owner but he running his small crime ring in the backroom. He trapped himself so far into his past that he destroyed his future. Luken doesn't have good or bad luck he just his choices and the the consequces of them. Not even calling a good or bad choice. Their isnt the right or wrong of it its just up, down, left, right and he ends up going in circle anyways. Its called Luken's Narrative because he doomed by it.

[ninjasmart]

So HG is happy with his choice and all his family and friends like her ? She looked genuinely happy but I couldn’t tell if he was ? Maybe he was holding back because it was in public and media was there ? I would love to see a pic from reception taken by a friend to compare. Do you see a happy future for them ? I still feel there’s something not right about her but I do hope they are in love and are happy

So mant questions.

Is HG happy - 5 of swords reversed says yes but it's a more like a: "It's done, it's over with" type of yes not a romanric one.

From behavioral analysis standpoint he was trying his best to be focused and to hit those milestones that were set in the wedding scenario. That's why it makes sense that he didn't take her hand at first because it was not in thr script and that was not the time for improv. You can clearly see how focused he was to make things perfect when the wind started to do what wind does and he stopped O from twirling around because this would have become front page if she had continued.

Not all of his family and friends like her. She needs to work a lot on skills she does not have in order not to turn silent bystanders into frenemies.

As for happy future - I'll start with the hidden cards - 2 of cups reversed and Ace of wands reversed. On the surface it will seem that the world is their oister. However, the undercurrent is that this is not a happy union, there will be a failed venture. I pulled a card for it because I wanted to see if it has anything to do with children. It's unclear but for sure it is not impossible. So 2 of pentacles talks about having expenses, having to constantly justify if they are worth it. So whatever that unhappiness is - it is conserning finances. Now - this could mean failed business - but family business between the two of them or it could mean money down the drain due to IVF procedures (everyone who is successful talks how happy they are but IVF does a number on the female body and they are expensive but the type of expensive where you buy in a chance for success).

I asked the question the way you asked it: What is not right with her. So I got the 7 of swords reversed. I can water down the explanation with examples but I'll just say it like it is in this situation. There are past manipulations and deceits from her side. They will come out. She will need to face consequences. The karma for it is: what she wanted she will not get (8 of cups reversed).

[mynotsosecretloveforhim]

Future

Before, everytime I think of the future, it's always you that I wanted to be with. That's why I called myself "idealistic" from the very start. Funny isn't it? It's just that, it's only you that I have my eyes on from the very start and unexpectedly blessed to me by God when I'm not wishing for it.

But now that things between us has ended. I wonder what will happen to the plans and dreams that I made? We made?

It's unfortunate that I was the one who choose to let go, but it's more unfortunate that you gave me all the reasons to give you up. I'm so tired of always telling you what you should do and always hoping for you to get mature in handling our relationship. But maybe, it's not your time for it yet... Or maybe I'm not really the girl who'll change you for the better.

It tortures me to death whenever I think of you being happy with someone else, flirting with anyone and loving someone who's not me. But what can I do? This is the path that we choose, 'separation'.

I wanted for you to grow up, realize things alone, be ready, and prepare yourself. I want you to become the person that will constantly realize how much your affirmation, assurance and making me feel wanted important. I want you to become thr person that I will never regret marrying someday. If we only stay in this same routine, nothing will change. 'Separation makes heart grow fonder' and 'what's meant to you will come/comeback to you'...ha ha.

But we never think the same... the moment I let you go is probably the moment you want to make use of your freedom, to do things that you weren't able to do before when you're with me. To flirt and go out with girl, to ask girls out...

It's fine. But will most likely be the reason for me not wanting you back.

If you're finally happy without me around, then I'll be happy to learn how to live without you and set aside any future plans with you from now on.

[nash-21]

In life everything matter until It comes to your own self. For me life is all about challenges and I forgot that I loved challenges and fight to get everything. I hate to say this but I didn't had a purpose in life. Right now I do have a purpose to get a better myself. To fight to be THE NISHIT I always wanted to be. In this process I might forget everyone and maybe myself as well but this is what it should be. You should forget everyone when you trying to find yourself. Likewise I took around 1month to forget someone just to realise that she didn't deserve my love or the love I provide.. The person who deserve the love will come to me one day. In this process I will fall in love with many people or maybe not but its all about hit and trial. If the trial doesnt work then maybe arrange but then at the end its not nesessary to actually get the job done. Its not at all like that. Loving someone is just a part of your life not your life. You miss them, you miss talking to them but that doesn't stop you to become someone who you want to be. Life is all about that. I just want to say one thing. Life is too big to have such small things to take care of. Moving on is just a small part of it and the basis you moving on is letting things go. I didn't knew until I got to see a situation that someone who were in love let go of each other just because the guy has no plans for future. Another example is the people get apart of each other just because they had to get married at thr age of 23. LOL? Are you serious? So young? Nowadays no one is permanent and now I got to know its nothing I can do as he will take care of it if I really need to be happy he will make me happy.

I have gone through a lot of the last 2 months. And I think I do not deserve it at all. So its my time to learn and be in a learning mode for the rest of my life. I just want that someone who loves me comes to me and try me. If I feel we can worth a shot I will take it for sure. If not I'll back off. But non attachment should be the focus of mine at all cost no matter what. I am gonna everything as much as possible. I am going to make so much money that nobody can disrecpect my mom at all. I am sure I am going to that.

I am coming back to the nishit I was and I more than happy that I am becoming like that as my focus is still there in fitness and being healthy and then spirituality and then money. I am happy my mom and my dad is proud and I want to make them more proud and that i my purpose of life. So that I do not called a black sheep again.

I AM NOT A BLACK SHEEP ANYMORE! :D

[thesecrimsonstrings-if]

I had an idea! What if you played as the leader of crows and the story takes place shortly after Alina's powers is discovered and she's taken to the Little Palace, and then it follows the crows' plot line kind of trying to get Alina kinda heist-style. We get a little summary of what happened to Alina from word of mouth throughout the story, so that she doesn't take that much off the story. The whole Mattias-Nina storyline in the show could have happened off screen and now they are in hiding from the Grisha after Nina busts Mattias out of jail, so we can have the crows looking for them and finding them in their hiding place and recruiting them before going on their heist since they'll need a heart render and well matthias can come along because he's just there and extra muscle can't hurt lol. As for Mal we can have him encounter the crows at the Little Palace or perhaps somewhere in the story during their journey, your MC can decide whether to tell him the whole story or not and Mal tells you kind of what happens and that he's looking for Alina. Instead of having him gone to the Palace straight away he could have tried to sneak in and have the darling's mother warn him of the Darkling so now he's hiding in some place (maybe where the crows take shelter idk and has a knife to Kaz's throat asking wtf they're doing there and shit) and so you recruit him in your heist since you have more or less the same goals hence he becoming an RO. As for Nikolai, we can scrap the whole doctor Betrayal bullshit that went on the show and have Nikolai be the guide instead, they don't know that he's a Prince but they know he's a pirate with a ship, and he asks them for a favour in return which he won't tell them about until the time comes (help him take the throne, which can be told in thr later books if there are ones). As for the Darkling perhaps he could be an RO in the second book, he pretends to be dead but takes on the appearance of Wylan and pretend to be him and join the crows, it could be a Betrayal kinda thing and have him as an RO all the while. As for Alina you could make her an RO if you succeed in kidnapping her you could flirt with her and maybe have her be a fling during your journey back or perhaps have her be a secret romance Options in later books. As for Genya she could be added as an RO in the second book after she betrays Alina she runs away and joins Nikolai's crew. Nikolai and the crows form some sort of pact that if die times comes and interests align they'll help each other out if you prove your worth as a leader and useful asset to him. This is so long, I saw the other ask and couldn't help myself lol.

you basically wrote the whole story for me, dear bonnie 💀 not that i'm complaining since it helped out a ton about how i should probably handle some storylines. also, goddamn! that's a lot of romance options! i have no clue how i'm gonna add them all since so far i only had an idea about my version of the crows as LIs. the darkling disguised as wylan would be a plot twist that leigh bardugo could only dream of and i hope i can give him a redemption arc because him in the books were not it, ugh why does he have to be so hot though.

i ship genya with david so much that it will hurt to make her an RO but changing her name and character (slightly) will get rid of the remaining guilt. also nikolai, i am on my knees for cocky blonde characters puh-lease 🧎🏻 even better when he's the future king of ravka with a demon inside him 😍 also i will not be adding the heartbreaking part which happened at the end of crooked kingdom because i can only take so much in my lifetime.

you've got me even more fired up about this, i'll work on the prologue in-between periods of writing TCS's update. it's not 100% decided which setting it will be based on or if it will be the mixture of SoC and SaB like in the netflix adaptation but the former is winning by a large margin in the polls 👀

[itoshit]

At the end I didn't write the dc stuff, will be for future posts, and I was eating that's why I took my time to come back!<3

I was tired, exhausted even.

The last three months have been hectic. We just recently discovered we had a mole in Bonten and that made me mad.

Fucking mad. Who the hell dared betray us?

After long sleepless nights searching and digging through all the possible files, cameras, and meetings to try to find who it was, I came to a conclusion.

My executives wouldn't work for someone else. But they had side chicks. A lot of them. And what was my surprise when I discovered the blonde girl from three months prior.

Her friend. What was the name of the girl I've fucked that night again?

Vee, yeah right.

Among the hundred footages I've spotted her with Sanzu in a bar, one where he used to go to get his dick wet.

Wasn't she with Koko?? But guess that bitches like her had their legs open wide for everyone and anyone.

'Koko, you know that girl right?'

Now all sat around thr huge wooden table, the Haitani brothers, Akashi, Hitto, Mochizuki, Sanzu and Koko and myself were discussing in emergency. Some of our personal data leaked and the fucker was still free in Japan.

'Yeah I do. Her name was Jackie if I remember correctly?'

Turning to Sanzu I showed him the same image.

'Jackie huh? She told me her name was Grace'

Manspreading I crossed my fingers on the table.

'Well visibly she lied to at least one of you. On these photos taken by our detectives it seemed like she was talking with one of the Yamaguchi-gumi's members. We all know who they are, I don't need to explain further. So the question is. Why the hell is she in contact with the strongest Yakuza family in Japan hm?? The one with which our relations aren't really good at that. Akashi, any idea?'

Silence settling between my men and I, I had my chin on my fingers.

'The most logical explanation would be that she took opportunity of both of our weaknesses. Koko, have you ever talked to her about Bonten?'

'Who do you think I am Akashi? I'm not dumb. She tried several times to get into my pants but I always pushed her away. I'm not a huge fan of escorts'

'That theory is at least confirmed right?'

'Yeah Ran. She has been spotted with political figures too. This bitch knows how to dive into business'

'Sanzu, did you have anything going on with her?'

Looking at my second in command I was waiting for his answer. This fucking mess was starting to get seriously on my nerves.

'Yeah we fucked multipe times'

'How could you explain yourself? You had sex with someone who fucked enemies and politicians??'

'Look Akashi, I didn't say anything to her. I just made her scream my name, I don't have anything to do with that shit'

Throwing a photo at him my patience was thinning.

'Seems like she gave you some drug though. Am I right?'

And that's when a look of realisation came upon his face. Gulping, Sanzu bit his lip. I knew what that I meant.

Guilt.

'Yeah-maybe. Yes she did. But it was nothing more that molly!'

'And how do you know that?? What d'you remember of that night??'

'... nothing'

I fucking tried to stay calm. I did my best really, but this bloody junkie was fucking with me.

'That night seemed to be your last with her, and she saw the Yakuzas not long after. You know what does that mean right? She drugged you and probably asked you questions about our fucking gang. But too high to realise it you gave in. That's your fault. You're the one responsible.'

'Sano, without disrespecting you, the girl you fucked three months ago. Wasn't she an acquaintance of her?'

At Rindou's question my legs stopped boucing and my breath stopped.

Could it be...?

'They were together in this... Fuck! I should have seen that coming'

Slamming my fist against the table I gritted my teeth together.

'Find these bitches and bring them back to me. I don't fucking care how you find them. You could tear their legs off their bodies for all I care but I want them alive. Understood??'

Sanzu sighted while the other nodded and stood up.

'Oh and also Sanzu. Take care of that Yakuzas shit. I don't want them to come at us.'

Leaving me all alone in the room, I slouched on the chair.

Eyes closed while remembering the night spent with her, I cursed at the feeling of my cock twitching in my pants.

'Are you fucking with me now...'

Standing up and leaning on the huge window, head resting on my arm I smirked.

'Guess I'll see you again pretty soon Vee'

-Mikey

MIKEY WAIT YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG IDK WHAT THESE BITCHES GOT GOIN ON—see how i always get dragged in stuff

We hadn’t seen Natalie in weeks. Every time we called her phone or invited her out via text, she always responded that She was tired. Busy. Not really feeling the club scene.

I knew they were all lies. Natalie was the partier of our group, the one who always knew the names of the latest clubs, which ones had the cheapest drinks. Or the strongest. Her strange absence took a toll on our group almost instantly.

Angel went hysterical. She was always closest to Nat, and Tati the one closest to the outside of the circle they navigated in as I was. So we both took it upon ourselves to go with Angel to Natalie’s house, confront her head on. We all met up their by our cars, pulling up to the condominium straight-faced, our worry masked deep within us. Tati and I, at least. The memo hadn’t reached Ang, who sobbed openly as she rapped on the door, screaming out for Nat so loud I wince. We all exhale when the door opens, but that relief quickly washes away at the sight of the small, wrinkled face woman before us— Aya, Bay’s housekeeper.

I’m sorry, Aya says when Angel nearly tackles her with questions about Nat’s whereabouts. She’s not home at the moment.

So she has been home then, I retort, watching Aya’s face drop. Like she wasn’t supposed to say that much.

I will tell her you stopped by, she answers, not really responding to what I’m asking. My eyebrows pitch up.

Ang tries to intercept her, barge straight into the house, but Aya is either deceptively strong or Angel’s awfully weak. Nat’s housekeeper wins the joust for the door easily, all professionalism gone from her face as she threatens to call the police if we don’t leave the property soon.

Tati hastily takes Angel to her car and I head to mine for the same reason: we don’t fuck with police. But that doesn’t mean I’ve given up, either. I send a call to Natalie’s phone, heel tapping as it rings once, twice, thrice and then… voicemail.

I’d usually hang up by then, but the sheer worry I feel for Natalie startles me into staying on the line. I guess we care about each other after all.

Natalie, I breathe after her automated message stops rambling about bullshit I could care less about. Where the fuck are you? Aya all but judo-flipped Angel for trying to come inside your place and look for you. Whatever’s going on, you can talk to us about it, but don’t shut us out. Especially Angel. You know she doesn’t deserve it.

I sigh when the beep comes in and hang up. The shrill ring of my cellphone echoes loudly. I scramble to lift it up to my eyes, heart dropping at the contact name.

Nat, thank God. Where are you?

I’m so sorry, Nat says into the phone shakily and just like that, worry worms its way through my gut again.

Huh? Natalie, what’s going on?

I should’ve never taken you guys to that club. I did everything to keep you three out of it, I promise. It’s just that he saw you, Vee and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I always wanted to keep you guys safe, you have to believe me, she sobs. The sound startles me. I hadn’t seen or heard Nat cry since she skimmed her knee in kindergarten.

What are you talking about? Listen, we were just outside your house. Aya’s taken over, isn’t letting anyone in.

You’re where? Her voice, wet with tears, booms with alarm. Venus, where are you?

I’m at your car outside your house. Nat, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.

Venus, get out of there. Get out of there now. Natalie sounds like she’s pulling her hair out on the other end. Goosebumps raise on my skin.

Natalie, what the fuck is going on?

They’ve been watching my house for weeks! Nobody was supposed to show up there! I told Aya to tell you guys that I went on a trip! Fuck, Vee, you need to get out of there!

Watching her house? I look around with the phone to my ear, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. Everything looks like it always looks. I’m confused and afraid. What shit had Natalie gotten herself into?

I fiddle with my keys, not wanting to take the chance of waiting around and finding out. I can hear her frantic screams, they just make me panic more. I drop my keys, cursing as I bend to pick them up. When I raise them, a jeep slows a few yards away from my car. It’s big, black and the windows are tinted all the way through. Then the doors open, and three men all hop out, adorned in black and demeanors screaming menace.

I stay frozen in place. They’re staring at me.

They’re walking… toward me.

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Overgrown Metal

Chapter 3: Keep Moving

Summary of fic: Almost two decades ago, the fae rose up from beyond the value with technology far surpassing the human race, quickly taking over after lating waste to nearly everything in their wake. Virgil and Roman, Society escapees and hunters run into an uncertain future while fleeing from their pasts. Remy and Remus stare their only chance straight in the face as they teeter on the edge of reluctant adventure. Emile is left his cousins engineering palace and is given the tools to change the world. Logan, a lone researcher and outcast is found by an old friend who offers him a chance of the century. Hyden (deciet), can shift into anything he so chooses, but staying true to his form as his heritage slaps him sideways proves harder than he thought. Patton mourns the loss of his son as he slowly uncovers secrets he wishes aren't related.

Or less wordy:

Eight idiots with trust issues fumble around each other and try to save the world from killer mechanical beasts and fairies that will snap your neck without taking their hands from their wine glasses.

Warnings: Violence, fight scenes, dark fantasy, apocalypse setting, some gore, blood

Warnings for this chapter: none. Though as always if you see something that should be tagged please say something.

Ships: Remy (sleep) x Remus. Brotherly Roman and Virgil. Platonic Logan and Hyden (Deciet)

The spacious barn creaked lazily as the sounds of swearing and hammering overflowed its weather worn walls. It had been repurposed years ago, the old owners either long dead or moved out once the forest began to take over. As it was now it had been cleared of the twisting roots and oddly growing branches that had once threatened to consume it completely, now standing in a small clearing with a house beside it sitting just as pristine. The barn, though repaired, leaned slightly to the side, braced on an extension that housed a lab of sorts with one other room branching out that acted as cold storage.

The main room itself was currently where loud banging could be heard with the occasional swear sprinkled in as the owner tried valiantly to seperate pieces of plate metal from the skull of a fallen beast, eyes vacant and jaw slack as it sat on the table surrounded by already disassembled parts of itself scattered about and repurposed to varying degrees. Jars of different colored oily substances sat on a cart nearby, with empty ones still waiting to be filled. The hammer was thrown down suddenly, its owners pointed ears twitching in irritation as he dragged a hand down his face and took a breath. Sighing loudly, Logan turned and stalked off to the other end of the room to get a crow bar off the rack in hopes that his new method would work.

As he began trying to pry between plates he felt more than heard the halting footsteps outside the barn, though who it was was clearly trying his best to be quiet. Rolling his eyes Logan slammed the crowbar in a weak spot and pulled hard enough to bend the plate and send the bar snapping back to narrowly miss his face. He scowled as sweat dripped into his eyes, rolling his shoulders and gripping the tool with a white knuckled grip.

"It truly is a wonder you haven't killed yourself yet. To think of all that education going to waste with a cracked skull in an old barn, it's almost enough to make me care to check in more."

"The only reason you come in here is because I'm the only thing within a hundred mile radius who doesn't wish you dead on sight."

"How you wound me. It's at least two hundred when I'm far enough away from the coast." Logan smirked as he heard the irritated tap of the others cane punctuating his statement.

Sighing, he placed the crowbar on the bench and turned to face the intruder, leaning against it while crossing his arms. "Hyden."

"Logan." The other greeted mutually. Though he was typically a bit more put together his thick caplet lay crookedly across his tense shoulders, arms taunt as he leaned heavily on his cane with both hands resting on the top. His long hair curled in the afternoon humidy and Logan definitely didn't miss the slight furrow of his brows, though he knew he would be loathe to admit he was in any sort of pain.

Letting out a heavier sigh Logan pushed away from the bench and gestured for the other to follow him. "Join me, I need a break anyway."

Hyden gasped. "The head scientist admitting he needs a break? Who's hand do I need to shake for downloading an once of self preservation into that thick skull?"

"I'll have you know I take breaks on a regular basis, something you clearly need to be reminded of."

"The audacity! I walk all the way here to visit a long time friend-"

"You walked?" Logan shot him a sharp glance as he held the door, gesturing the other into the old farmhouse.

Waving away the concern, Hyden continued. "I flew most of the way don't worry. I only ducked below the treeline the last few miles so I wouldn't be followed, you're welcome for the concern and forethought."

Snorting, Logan pulled out a chair and moved to collect containers of herbs and thr kettle, sighing for the fourth time as it was blatantly ignored for the refrigerator. As the kettle heated he carefully measured out the proper ingrediants, glancing over every now and again to try and catch what his guest was poking at.

"Are those by any chance agorose gels?"

Walking past the fridge to put things away he caught sight of what the other was observing, humming his confirmation.

"Logan, why do you have DNA gels next to leftover chicken salad in your refrigerator?"

"The chicken salad seems irrelevant." The kettle whistled to give him an excuse to avoid the question, carefully pouring out the boiling water.

"Logan."

"Hyden." The name slipped out easily despite his annoyance, making him wonder for a brief moment if he would struggle when he was finally told his real name.

The mans cane taps were heavier than normal as he made his way over to the table and flopped down without his usual show. Giving Loagn a quiet thank you he proceeded to wrap his hands around the steaming mug, frowning in concentration. "Are you trying to find them again?"

"I fail to comprehend what you could possibly-"

"Because they're trying to find you. And they're getting close."

Logan was quiet as he sat, his wrapped hands folding somewhat painfully around his own drink. Pursing his lips he avoided looking at Hyden for a long moment, nevertheless feeling his gaze attempting to pick him apart. Arranging his expression to be carefully neutral he took a drink, smiling as the other did so as well.

"Make sure to drink all of it, it'll help with pain."

"Did you even listen to what I said?!" Throwing his hands up in exasperation he fixed Logan with his best glare.

"Hard not to with that grating tone."

"Well this grating tone," he growled out. "Is telling you to get your head out of your ass and maybe make sure you're safe before telling someone else to take care of themselves."

Logan dragged a hand down his face, suddenly tired. "Where exactly do you expect me to go? I'm so close to figuring out what they're using to power those things, if I move now I won't have any access to the equipment I need, no studies will be concluded, and nearly all of my experiments will be left behind to rot! I need more time."

"Time isn't exactly a luxury here. You're being stubborn and ignorant, as usual, and if you would just listen-" he stopped short as he caught the look the other was giving him, letting out a breath of defeat and softening his tone. "It doesn't have to be today. But it does have to be soon. I'll even come with you, help you scout out a new location if you'd like. I'm sure there's plenty to be found with a little digging."

Mugs empty save for the dregs silence rang between them as they lost themselves in thought. Distantly Logan was aware of the old grandfather clock ticking, suddenly thinking what a shame it would be to leave the sound behind. He knew the other was right even before he fully decided to voice it. Instead he quietly looked over at him, the scales that freckled his face gleaming with the last rays of the evening sunlight. If they were truly leaving, they would have to be careful. Though he knew Hyden was loathe to do so he could easily shift his appearance to hide his scales. Logan wouldn't be so lucky, his slightly off colored skin and pointed ears a dead give away to what his heritage was, even if he had defected from it when the war broke out. He was obviously fae, and that would do him no favors outside of the protection of his remote location.

But he really couldn't stay. If the guard was truly zeroing in on his location he would much rather abandon his research and try to pick it up wherever he could than even think about getting caught and wondering whether he could escape before he was undoubtedly punished for his crimes against his people. He shuddered uneasily as he stood, carefully avoiding eye contact as he took the mugs to the sink and began to wash them. He stared out the window towards the treeline as he did, having to squint to make out the weak protective barrier set around the perimeter by Hyden years ago. Beyond that lay dense forest only a madman would dare trek through.

Or fae guards with strict orders.

Squaring his shoulders before they could droop in defeat he turned to face his companion with a level stare.

"Give me two days."

-------

"Two more days? I thought the town was closer than that." Virgil irritably kicked a stone into the water, splattering the bottom of Roman's pants. They huffed in response, their frustration easily matching Virgil's as they shifted the pack on their shoulders.

"I said at most two more days, it might be sooner than that. We've never really been this far out before, which is a good thing but it means guessing the distance. Pouting isn't going to make it be any closer."

"Not pouting." Virgil pouted, crossing his arms before realizing what he was doing and angrily shoving them in his hoodie pockets.

Snorting with amusement Roman shifted the pack again before grunting and heaving it up and off their shoulder, immediately sagging in relief. Their burden was lifted further as Virgil tugged it out of their grasp and shouldered it easily, walking ahead while adjusting to the weight.

"Thank you."

"You were slowing us down. Somebody's gotta make sure we stay on schedule."

Roman squawked with indignation, jogging a bit to catch up with the emos longer gait. Their mouth thinned as they thought of how to bring up a concern they'd been thinking about for a while, gripping the straps of their pack tightly in apprehension.

"Alright. Spill it." They blinked as Virgil stopped, dropping both the packs and plopping down in the dirt.

"What?"

"Being anxious is my job and right now you're forcing me into unemployment. So either talk or I'm throwing you in the river."

"You do and I'm eating the last two cans of spaghettios tonight while you get nothing but croutons."

Virgil narrowed his eyes. "I fucking dare you to go through with that threat. You do not come between a man and the last can of shitty microwave pasta."

"I have the food pack."

"And I have the flint and steel so start talking before I decide to set you on fire instead of drowning you."

Unceremoniously flopping to the ground they let out an annoyed huff while shrugging off the back pack. "Fine. I've been thinking....that with this next town..maaaaybe finding another person or two to travel with would be in our best interests?"

The last half of the thought came out rushed and nearly incomprehensible but Roman could tell Virgil had heard them clearly as his face adopted a carefully neutral expression, hands twisting tightly in his lap.

"Roman..."

"I know! I know, I definitely get it. But, it would be easier to carry supplies and we could have more! We wouldn't have to stop in towns so much-"

"Roman."

"And it might be safer! More people means more weapons means more protection right?"

"Roman."

They shut their mouth in worry at the defeated tone Virgil had adopted. He twisted his hands tighter, hesitant to continue now that he actually could.

"Am I not....do you not feel safe enough with me?"

Roman sucked in a breath as they realized how Virgil had taken their concerns, rushing to try and fix it. "It's definitely not that! I-Virgil I'm so sorry that isn't what I meant at all!"

They leaned forward and began gently detangling his fingers from each other, holding them tightly once they finally managed it. "Anx it isn't like that. I honestly worry that you aren't safe enough with me. And once our load gets heavier with trading supplies we slow down and it never seems like we're on the road long enough before what little supplies we can carry run out. It was only a thought I wanted to discuss, not an attack on your skill as a fighter."

Their eyes met Virgil's and they breathed a sigh of relief when they were met with understanding, nonetheless continuing to rub soothing circles across his knuckles until he pulled away.

"I guess..." he glanced over at the near overflowing pack of trading goods. "I guess I can see that yeah. But I don't-Roman how can we trust anyone?"

"We probably can't. But we'll look anyway and if we don't find anyone then we don't find anyone. Just, keep an open mind?"

Crossing his arms Virgil looked away to stare out at the water instead, face drawn with apprehension. After a minute he ducked his head in defeat, nodding slowly and standing up. "Yeah. We'll keep a look out. But if we do find someone and after a while they start to act shady we drop them alright? No debate."

"No debate." Roman readily agreed as they stood as well. They began walking again, the silence much less tense than it had been all afternoon. Grinning a bit, Roman smacked their lips in thought. "With that delay it might be two and a half days now."

"Oh come on!"

This work and others are available on AO3!

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Ms Chen would be pleased

She said "the most peaceful way to demonstrate and protest and have your angriest voice heard is to vote and we are lucky in this country Because we are allowed to vote. Women and Blacks worked hard for the future of them -- you -- and i dont mean biologically i mean their heart and spirit and knowing well the people in front of them when they see the future must learn and learn well in order to protect the world. Because you see this country is very powerful as is China. While China is bigger, the United States has more power and I'm sorry to tell you that all the power in the world, relies on you to use your angry voice in that polling booth. My parents still in China can not vote. They are not allowed. (No matter how many times she said this speech some one always gasped. And it -- her words caused my heart to stop in fear for her family and China and it did for many kids. They became terrified for the citizens of China) Because there is No voting. None. Not allowed. It is not too far. It is not too boring. It just does not exist. So it is you to protect the people of China. Tawain. NE Asia. You the voters of the most powerful of nations -- the USA"

And some of us. When she said to protect China. We promised with our whole hearts and souls we would. There is now voting in China

It was not until 1988 that a Village Chief in a town in China could be voted for. And in 1989 it still hadn't occurred in hers.

She never lived to the day it would be before she was murdered by the Chinese Embassy in NYC that she was trying to work with to help China and it's citizens.

She was murdered on April 17, 1990. We were notified on 4-20-90 its never been a joyous holiday for me. I try to avoid the date. Sleeping through it usually.

So two days ago was her 29th anniversary of her death. And she will be dead 30 years.

Two days ago a castle was bought for me. Two days ago i helped solve 88 murders and 43 people were arrested.

Two days ago i cried a lot and it was a very difficult day for me. And I didn't know it was the 29th anniversary of her death 30 years ago

I think i did her wonderfully proud.

She was abducted on her way to work on a Tuesday morning. Friday morning we were told of the news.

We were worried. I told the office... They had been in tears for two days in a row i said "you better tell me what's going on because i know something is. I been down here every day this week to find out about Ms Chen. Y'all attitude aint right. So us kids have assembled a search party for right after school if er can't find her on this island by midnight tonight we will go home to sleep for at least 3 hours as Me Chen would say we need to rest, she is not that important. Then we will go to Brooklyn to search. So you as an adult better tell me. And then tell them what the fuck is going on with you emotionally. Other wise put a post it in each teacher box so have an adult to go with us. 5 am for the city ferry then on to Brooklyn."

Half the office was literally i mean honestly throwing up in trash cans.

Ms Pallen the principal came in with a small jewelry like box. And what was inside was mostly covered by a tissue. "Sabrina is -- this ring -- does this belong to Ms Chen, finger and all?"

"Well it looks like her rin--" i lifted the small tissue covering her finger "a finger! Where's the rest of her?! Did you get the hand?! What about an arm?! Where is her body?!"

I wanted to know more. The more missing body parts the less chance we had to save her. I knew -- she told us. So a finger? Just a finger?! We were looking good!! Of all her stories. She of all people was tough enough to lose a finger and keep on talking.

"Do i have permission to leave the building for one quick look just around? I'll be back swiftly i promise"

Our principal softly stroked our friends finger and nodded gently and sadly as tears dropped down ... If tears and throw up could bring her back we were doing well in this office.

"As bad as it pains you look in the worst place first. Here i would think it would be water. I can't swim. Well barely. But not too good for New York City's oceans" she had said. She said it was the worst to know we would think but in reality it was worst to question and hope when there was none.

So i took off to the seawall and ran up and down looking but i didn't see her... I didn't want to. So I ran all the way around the tiny military island. Then back. Then i rode the public transit bus looking far off in the middle not the edge then the outer edge at Brooklyn. I got off at the school. I walked directly to the sea wall and looked down.

There she was floating face down. Her skirt covering as much of her legs as possible. Her beautiful black hair covering much of the rest. She had on one heel, a white shirt and black skirts. One of her favorite outfits she said. Because she said it made her feel most business.

I walked slow back to the school.

Ms Pallen smiled "i knew you were onto something, did you find it?"

My eyes got huge because i had and i had been believed in and i looked up at her in her heels "i do. I need the police"

She was smiling all kinds calling it in. "She found a clue. No shes mute. You know how she gets. No not really happy. Oh she's thinking and her mouth is dropped. Not good? Oh it's a clue! Just hurry"

Ms Pallen kneeled down next to me I really worked st hiding what i saw. What i had did.

"So what is happening. What clue can you tell me?"

I looked down, with dead eyes. Glassy purposeful eyes and a stroked her head, starting at the tip top and down to her chin "I'm sorry"

"No" she started to angry scowl and cry at the same time.

I nodded "yep"

"No" she started crying again her face contorting different

"Shh it will be all okay. Come sit" i patted the seat next to me

"What's wrong with her eyes? She looks dead -- no im not going to throw up. I think"

"A clue" I held Ms Pallen's hand. I was the kid. But no one was gonna be okay.

"If she's dead im gonna get a new job. Remember i told you that. Her, too!"

"Then you better start" i hung my head. No Don't look down Ms Chen would say. Be strong for you and your friends "looking" i looked up cheerfully as if it were just a bright new day.

"Haha very funny kid"

I just smiled. -- show me you're happy. Show the world you can be And be free. She would say. I found her. The world could rest. Stop puking. Stop being afraid. Ms Chen would like me for that.

"Why so happy kid?"

"Cause... Life... It never ceases to exist. Its always inside me"

"Bright sunshiney day"

"Looks gloom and dreary if you ask me"

"Maybe that's why i didn't see her at first."

"Sabrina you have something for me? Did you see thr finger? They only had it since yesterday" i heard behind me, a male voice, "good mornin girls. Sabrina do you hear me?"

"She went mute again but shr was just talking. Let me get my coat"

"Sabrina do you need her?"

I nodded

"Don't nod. Speak. What do you need? You know you can tell me?"

"Every one clocked in in the office and at two chair or an ambulance. People will need to sit"

"Well uh how come?"

"Death"

"Well, come on it's just a finger."

"Chair. Ambu bed"

"So she's alive?"

"Morg--- just come on"

Halfway there he dropped the chairs. Just dumped them. The girls left a string of clues behind. Shoes. Coats. Jackets. They all knew. They all knew as soon as they saw my direct path was to the fence seperating the land from the water.

And they ran. Throwing all their unnecessary items behind. So they could get in the water. All three of them. 2 secretaries and a principal.

And the body of the world's greatest teachers floating stiff and face down, dead.

"Yeah it's her alright. But she's missing two fingers i guess her parents got the other one. Her two families most important things. Both index fingers or her pointer. Sabrina what's that mean? Im gonna sit in the water with her until the coroner gets here. I don't want her to be alone" said what had appeared to be the weakest Secretary but most determined

"I don't know if she's more beautiful dead or alive. Shes like a mermaid. And so pretty."

"Sabrina what's It mean? The one index?" Asked our police

"You're number one. Wait right here. One minute and I'll be back"

"She had them cut it off? I bet she did. She's a tough woman like that" she sat on a dry area next to our friend.

"Idk how much you know about biology. But that finger had no blood. Shes been dead at least since yesterday" Ms Pallen out of the water in a wool green plaid frock dress, her fur coat in the street at the stop sign.

"The moment they picked her up. She was never going to live past that" i sighed

"But sabrina why would she want them to cut it off?" She asked looking towards the school

"Reincarnation. She means it. She will be back. Or She will never leave at all"

"Sabrina she's not supposed to talk about religion with you. Seperation of church and state" she said looking out over the water send down.

"Chinese culture is not a religion to some people. Neither is American religion not a culture"

"Oh she loopholed. That is sweet. Now we know. Oh my dear sweet friend, here is your ride coming up" said Ms Pallen the principal.

"the most peaceful way to demonstrate and protest and have your angriest voice heard is to vote and we are lucky in this country Because we are allowed to vote. Women and Blacks worked hard for the future of them -- you -- and i dont mean biologically i mean their heart and spirit and knowing well the people in front of them when they see the future must learn and learn well in order to protect the world. Because you see this country is very powerful..."

And you are a part of that power.

So register to vote then vote in the November 2020 election.

Raise your kids right. Not only are they our future. They will take over the world.

I did.

[grace-is-forever]

Sleepless nights part 2

Who knew that after a few months of Jeremy staying at my house I'd start develope feeling for him. Sure, he'd be really flirtatious but thats just Jeremy.

"You know he likes you right?" Michael whispered beside me. School had just recently started back up due to the weather. So much snow! "No he doesn't. Thats just his personality." I scoffed at him. I really wish he did though.

I turned and exited the conversation slowly when i tripped and fell. "OWW!" I yelled. I landed on my knee. It didnt help that my right knee was already messed up. Now I'll be back in the stupid brace for weeks.

Time passes and its time for theater. Weird, Jeremy wasnt there. Oh well.

"Art thou gone so? love, lord, ay, husband, friend!

I must hear from thee every day in the hour,

For in a minute there are many days:

O, by this count I shall be much in years

Ere I again behold my Romeo!"

I read aloud. I know Romeo and Juliet. Typical high school play. I was cast as the role of juliet and to no surprise Jeremy was Romeo. It felt almost unnerving to be his love Interest. I went home an hour later, after staying to practice. When i got home i confonted Jeremy. "Hey, why werent you at school?" I asked. School is always boring without him. "I just needed to think, but the real question i have is why are you limping?" Confuson plastered on his face. Being completely honest i forgot about my knee sure it hurts but i didnt realize i had a limp. "i fell before history." The worst class so my pain didnt make it any better. "Youve always been extremely clumsy." He stated as got up to grab my brace off my dresser. "And to honest." He paused. "Its kinda cute. A blush apparent on his face and probably mine to. "I wish i wasnt. It'd be nice to go out without some kind of injury." He helped me put on my brace and helped me up. The familiar feeling coming back to me. We stayed at home rehearsing our lines for the rest of the day. The next day at school Jeremy stayed really close to me to watch over my knee. As the classes passed theater came and today was the iconic balcony kiss. I really wish i wasn't so nervous about it. "Dont worry Y/N, its just a kiss." I thought to myself. "With someone you really like, maybe even love." My hands started shaking and breathing became difficult. My vision stared to fade and i ran out of the room before blacking out completely. Y/N? Are you okay? I heard someone ask. Slowly everything came back into my vision. "What happened?" I asked slowly. Jeremy was infront of me and began explaing that I blacked out. I started crying after that. "Im an idiot." i said between sobs. Letting myself freak out about something that will never happen. "I'm sorry, tell everyone I'm not feeling good and that I'm going home. I gave him a goodbye hug and ran out of the building. I ran faster than i ever have. I unlocked my door and threw myself on the bed and sobbed until nightfall. Jeremy woke me up thr next morning early. "Lets get some coffee before school." I agreed to it. Got dressed, brushed my teeth, and said put on my knee brace. We got to the school and i brought jeremy to the theater so we could practice since we both got a free period.

"Romeo, Romeo, where fort art thou Romeo?

I questioned and we continued practice the kiss was about to happen and i got my self mentally prepared.

We leaned in and our lips met. It felt as electricity was flowing through us. We pulled apart and he forgot his lines after that.

"Im sorry, but I've wanted to do that ever since i met you in the park a few months ago and you let me stay with you."

I kissed him again. This one was more drawn out and more passionate. "Jeremy i've had the biggest crush on you since 7th grade. I love everything about you. One more kiss was shared then we parted was to go to class. I couldnt really focus all i could do was think of was the kiss. Yhe class passes and its time for the one of the last practices before our performance. Onve again the kiss happened and in the background i could hear Mr. Reyes awwing. "That was really good you guys. I could feel the emotions you showed. Really impressive! We thanked him and began walking home considering drama was our last class. We walked through the park that we officially met at. We sat at the swings talking. A few hours passed and it was soon getting dark. I looked down at my phone, 10:17. "I think we should head back to the house its getting late. He nodded and we began to walk back. We decided to stay up watching movies on the couch. 3 movies passed and i looked over and jeremy was asleep. So peaceful and fragile. I kissed him on the cheek before heading off to bed. As an hour past i found myself restless. Sleep was something that wasn't in my vocabulary. I got up and headed out for my normal spot. The park. Since no one was out i took is an opertunity to let some emotions out the only way i knew how to. Drawing. I grabbed my sketchbook and began drawing the surrounding areas along with a little personal touch. Two people sharing a kiss by the tree. "I knew I'd find you out here." I jumped out of my thoughts and quickly closed my book. "Oh hey Jer." I said. "You should be asleep, go back inside." I told him. "So should you." He replied back. He held out his hand which i accepted. He led me back to the house and i got in bed putting sketchbook on the dresser next to the bed, and fell asleep. Jeremy was still getting ready for bed and took a look through my journal and saw the sketch i did earlier. He was in awe of the drawing. He couldnt take it anymore. He woke me up and before i could question his lips were on mine. He kissed me with as much passion he could muster up. We pulled apart and finally spoke. "I saw the drawing. I looked, i shouldn't have but i did." I shot up immediately after. I grabbed my skethchbook and held it tight. "Not cool Jer!" I whined. "Is that the only thing you saw?" I asked giving up any secrets i had. "Yeah thats all i saw. Is there more?" He asked. I nodded and found a page at the back of the book and read it to him.

"As life progresses, I'm bound to make mistakes, to see hard times. Every low comes with a high. Somewhere in the future i'll see what I can truly be. I may be scared and a little doubtful, but in the long run I know I'll be ok.

I knew that when i met you i knew who i was. Everything was clear. I wasnt scared of anything else but losing you. I see nothing but hope now that i have you. I love you more than anything."

He hugged me right after listening to that. "Do you really feel that way." I nodded and grabbed his hands. "I always have." I leaned over and kissed him again. "Promise me you won't look through my stuff anymore?" I asked him. "I promise but you should teach me how to draw cause youre incredibly talented." I smiled at him and layed back down. "Good night Jeremy. I love you." I told him before falling asleep. "Good night Y/N, i love you too. He replied pulling me against him. He pressed one last kiss to my forehead before he fell asleep.

After a day full of confessions and love. It was anything but a sleepless night.

This is the brace I had. I don't know where I put it. Every other brace I have is horrible compared to this one.

@broke-ass-potterhead I hope you enjoy! 💙

[timeisanillusionsoami]

last month i had a terrible breakdown because i was out of my meds for 2 weeks and, well, i had a panic attack got drunk and gave myself new scars, since then everything has been a total MESS. my sleep schedule is worse than it was befora thr breakdown, i cant eat, i have no inspiration to write or draw, i'm overwhelmed with things about the future (getting a job, going to college, money etc), i stopped meditating & exercising, also a toxic person from my trauma came back just to call me crazy & make me feel bad about myself, i feel like my friends are abandoning me, or maybe i'm the one getting distant, i was considering going back to stealing pills & mixing them w alcohol so i could stay high all day and forget about the world. everything's complete shit. BUT i've decided that i dont want to go back to panic attacks and bleeding and being high all the time. i want to get better, with all my heart, i really really want to get better, and thats what i'm gonna do...i already took the 1st step, which is the hardest i guess & tonight i'll try some meditation before i go to bed, tomorrow i'll try some writing. tysm if you read this, and if you're also going thru a hard time, come talk to me!! we can try and help each other. i'm sending y'all positive energies.

[alittleyellowdinosaur]

It's kinda a silly method buy when my anxiety brain starts spiraling I go "stop! Wait a minute" and then start singing that Bruno Mars song in my head. It doesn't get rid of the anxiety but it resets the spiral I guess and gives me a moment to try and think about something else snd usually my brain will find a different tangent to go off on. W spiraling, another thing my therapist used to have me do is draw a literal spiral and write on it my literal spiraling out thoughts so like. The center would be "my sister said this" and the outside would have the Doom Thoughts, and then she'd have me work my way backwards and think of things to help relieve or prepare or fix those things.

So for example if your center is "my dad just got hospitalized" maybe the next thought Is "what if he goes in a coma", then "what if he dies," then "what if everyone dies and im all alone". To go backwards you could start by going "okay well I have a lot of friends and family, and some are younger than me so it's highly unlikely that they'll all die, and I'll have more friends in the future so I'll never be alone", then you could go to "Well my dad is otherwise fairly healthy and thr doctors a working really hard to help him, and there's a lot of treatments out there that there wasn't before", and so on back to your original thought. It's a good way of responding to each of the fears and its a great way to calm down.

And since I'm aware things are really hard rn and the statistics are scary, then maybe you could try things like writing letters to your dad to take him, or to give him when he comes home, abd maybe others for your friends to help feel connected to them. Countering intrusive thoughts with action rather than distraction Is really the only effective way of dealing with them. So don't watch movies or color or any of that, do things that engage your brain and even better, your body. Work out, bake your dad some food, hang out w a friend, make a video for your dad, or a banner for when he comes home, anything that engages you and doesn't leave space for those nasty thoughts is really helpful.

I'm not sure if you watch Thomas Sanders, but he has a Sanders Sodes video on Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts. It's part of a series so it might not all make sense but the coping skills and way that he works through it is good advice and might give you some comfort.

Good luck my dear and if you need anything, someone to talk to, an engaging distraction idea, a recipe, whatever, just let me know. I wish your dad well.

Hey there folks, so recently my dad got covid and is hospitalized and I haven't been doing all so well with that, even though I've dealt with anxiety for most of my tennager years and now as a young adult it's been incredibly complicated even with medication, so wanted to ask if anyone has like a really good post on how to deal with intrusive thoughts about parents and friends dying, cause honestly is getting debilitating and i really need to get work done 🙃

[alittleyellowdinosaur]

It's kinda a silly method buy when my anxiety brain starts spiraling I go "stop! Wait a minute" and then start singing that Bruno Mars song in my head. It doesn't get rid of the anxiety but it resets the spiral I guess and gives me a moment to try and think about something else snd usually my brain will find a different tangent to go off on. W spiraling, another thing my therapist used to have me do is draw a literal spiral and write on it my literal spiraling out thoughts so like. The center would be "my sister said this" and the outside would have the Doom Thoughts, and then she'd have me work my way backwards and think of things to help relieve or prepare or fix those things.

So for example if your center is "my dad just got hospitalized" maybe the next thought Is "what if he goes in a coma", then "what if he dies," then "what if everyone dies and im all alone". To go backwards you could start by going "okay well I have a lot of friends and family, and some are younger than me so it's highly unlikely that they'll all die, and I'll have more friends in the future so I'll never be alone", then you could go to "Well my dad is otherwise fairly healthy and thr doctors a working really hard to help him, and there's a lot of treatments out there that there wasn't before", and so on back to your original thought. It's a good way of responding to each of the fears and its a great way to calm down.

And since I'm aware things are really hard rn and the statistics are scary, then maybe you could try things like writing letters to your dad to take him, or to give him when he comes home, abd maybe others for your friends to help feel connected to them. Countering intrusive thoughts with action rather than distraction Is really the only effective way of dealing with them. So don't watch movies or color or any of that, do things that engage your brain and even better, your body. Work out, bake your dad some food, hang out w a friend, make a video for your dad, or a banner for when he comes home, anything that engages you and doesn't leave space for those nasty thoughts is really helpful.

I'm not sure if you watch Thomas Sanders, but he has a Sanders Sodes video on Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts. It's part of a series so it might not all make sense but the coping skills and way that he works through it is good advice and might give you some comfort.

Good luck my dear and if you need anything, someone to talk to, an engaging distraction idea, a recipe, whatever, just let me know. I wish your dad well.

Hey there folks, so recently my dad got covid and is hospitalized and I haven't been doing all so well with that, even though I've dealt with anxiety for most of my tennager years and now as a young adult it's been incredibly complicated even with medication, so wanted to ask if anyone has like a really good post on how to deal with intrusive thoughts about parents and friends dying, cause honestly is getting debilitating and i really need to get work done 🙃