#maybe i'll be one and then u can be in my car forever

[causenessus]

NEVER MIND IM NOT THE OLD MAN ANY MORE ‼️RETREAT RETREAT‼️ I WOULDN’T SAY THAT‼️

also hi i luv u i hope u are safe and okay now

LAMOAOAAO IT'S OKAY MITCH HELLO <3 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I AM GOOD THANK YOU!! I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS GOING TO TURN OUT THAT WAY (TO be fair if i drove to the library [where i was at] to drop off books and a random man started walking towards me i would also probably drive away [this is what happened, and then he was like "wow, go back to your pathetic little home, slut" and i just saw in my car like "dear god someone help me." do u like my parentheses within my parentheses!! i'm sorry this is a nightmare to read] but i digress bc i also told him he should go and he wouldn't leave and ik he meant the best for me but at that point i was getting the ick. so like. move away old man. thank u. /lh AND I DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT SAYING THIS BC HE CALLED SOMEONE A SLUT)

AND IT'S OKAY BECAUSE!!! I ENVISION YOU AS THE LITTLE WHITE PENGUIN MY FRIEND HAS ON HIS REARVIEW MIRROR <3 THAT WAS U ON THE WAY TO SAVE THE DAY AND PROVIDE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT!! THIS IS YOU!! <33

[phagodyke]

why are glasses so expensiveeeee

[wiishopwednesday]

longing for something you can never return to

[ID: a collection of images relating to nostalgia. the first image is a genius screenshot of the lyrics to car seat headrest's "famous prophets (stars)." the screenshot reads "We gotta go back/We gotta go back/We gotta go back/We gotta go back." the second image is the "we got the torture labyrinth tomorrow" meme template, edited to instead say "We got missing what we can never return to tomorrow/What?/We got the beginning of the rest of our lives tomorrow/Ohhhh/Okay." the third image is a discord screenshot, with the user's username and icon cropped out so that only the text is visible, and reads "Duuudeee you missed out on those 7 days where god created earth you are fucked LOL." the fourth image is a screenshot of a piece of text, which reads in bolder font "You can never leave home." underneath it, in normal text, it reads "You take it with you no matter where you go. Home is between your teeth, under your fingernails, in the hair follicles, in your smile, in the ride of your hips, in the passage of your breasts." the fifth image is a screenshot of a post made by tumblr user ryebreadgf, which reads "YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK! YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK! YOU CAN BITE AND SCRATCH AND BEG BUT YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK!" the sixth image is a screenshot of a piece of text that reads, "YOU KILL YOURSELF AND IMMEDIATELY WAKE UP AS A CHILD ON YOUR PARENTS BED. YOU'VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR HALF AN HOUR. THE SUN IS SHINING." the seventh image is a picture of two uneven dark yellow boxed next to each other on a off-white background. the first box reads, in handwriting, "I'm terrified of change." the second box reads, "I'm terrified of staying this way forever." the eighth image is a screenshot of a post made by tumblr user dakotajohnsongf, which reads "women be looking at pictures of their childhood selves and trying to find a way back to them." the ninth image is a screenshot of a post made by tumblr user bestofgentleearth, containing a screenshot from a forum of some kind. a line of text reads "(16 hours ago) butterfly said:" underneath, an indented section of text reads "today, the world looked beautiful again. i'm starting to remember what kept me alive last summer." the tenth image is another tumblr post by user cursedsuggestion, which reads "the friend you miss comes home for good. you never see another mirror. it's summer forever and that terrible thought you keep having finally disappears." the eleventh image is a screenshot of a reddit post, with the original poster's username and icon cropped out so only the text is visible. it reads "I'm not sure how to word this, but I constantly go through this deep sense of loss. I feel like I terribly miss something I love from the bottom of my heart, but I don't know what it is, exactly. Nothing in life satisfies me, nothing makes me content, but l wouldn't say I'm depressed either. There's just this endless search for something, and at times I feel I can catch a glimpse of it - different sceneries pop into my head at times, like of a particular beach at night, and I'm moved to tears. Or I remember a dream and all the feelings that were stirring while I saw that dream, and feel entirely connected to them." the twelfth image is a screenshot of a tumblr post, but the original poster is cropped out so only the text is visible, which reads "wait i wasn't ready. i never finished that game of tag. i still need to learn how to do a cartwheel. my friends and i never finished making that bridge over the creek. i want to go back. can you carry me to bed one last time? and maybe i'll wake up tomorrow in my childhood room with my pink walls and we'll laugh over this dream at breakfast." the thirteenth image is another tumblr screenshot of a post by user heavensghost, which reads "uhhh yh sure u can go back but no one will be waiting for you there."

the fourteenth image is a screenshot of a reddit comment, with the user's information cropped out so that only the text is visible, which reads "HIRAETH (heer-eye-th) 'A deep homesickness; an intense form of longing or nostalgia for a place long gone, or even an unaccountable homesickness for a place you have never visited. A pull on the heart that conveys a distinct feeling of missing something irretrievably lost.'" the fifteenth image is a collection of 3 rows of black boxes, with 3 boxes in each row. the first box has a white, vague form of a human. the second box pictures the human form stretching its arms and legs out. from the third box onward, the human figure starts to dissipate into white dots until it has completely disappeared and only dots remain. the sixteenth image is a tumblr post by user n1ntendos, which reads "I AM HAUNTED BY A PAST I CANNOT GO BACK TO !!!!!!! anyways." the seventeenth image is a screenshot of text that reads "I cling to everything - CDs that skip, rings that turn my fingers green, the dead ends of my hair, old love notes that turn my stomach over and over. And I'm not proud but there are still boxes under my bed. And I'm not proud but my closet is still running out of space. And nostalgia is a fucking waste of time but my heart is full with it. Tell me I won't hold this forever. Tell me there will be a day where I let gloriously go." the eighteenth image is an image of larger text that reads "It's a summer day, and I want to be wanted more than anything else in the world." the nineteenth image is a photograph of a large white dog standing in a dark, flowing river surrounded by a dark forest and green trees. the dog is facing away from the viewer with its mouth open. the dog appears to be glowing, likely due to a lens flare of some kind. the entire picture feels very melancholy and nostalgic. the twentieth image is larger text that reads "Nostalgia is the aching realization that you can't go back again. The longing, no matter how intense, can never be met." the twenty-first image is a screenshot of an instagram dm, with the user's username and icon cropped out so that only the text is visible, and it reads "well the time passes anyway so I have to." the twenty-second image is a screenshot of the spotify lyrics for gerard way's song "action cat." the lyrics read "Hey/Do you miss me?/'Cause I miss you/Do you miss me?/'Cause I miss you/Do you miss me?/'Cause I miss you/Do you miss me?/'Cause I miss you too." the twenty-third image is a screenshot of text that reads "YOUR CHILDHOOD DOG IS ALIVE. YOUR DEAD BEST FRIEND WANTS TO GET COFFEE. YOU HAVE BEEN KIND AND GOOD. THERE IS NOTHING CHASING YOU. YOU CAN SLEEP. WHAT DO YOU DO?" the twenty-fourth image is a continuation of the lyrics from car seat headrest's "famous prophets (stars)" that were pictured in the first image. these lyrics read "We've gotta go back/We've gotta go back/We've gotta go back/(Don't spend too much time on it)." end ID.]

[scarletwinterxx]

but if it's forever, it's even better - joshua hong imagine

helloooo

i will start this off by saying i am down bad for this man right here. ISTG i see him and i'm smiling all stupid like a school girl who has her first crush. i cannot get him off of my mind so yea now we're here😅

if there's one song i would say is written about this guy, it's birds of a feather by billie eilish. i just feel like it's so easy to love him, like you'd be sitting in a diner with him then you'd take one look and think about how you love him so much🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 okay okay i'm getting carried away😅

it's my first time writing a story outside the nct-verse hahaha but i love it🥺 maybe i'll write more svt scenarios in the future but for now, i hope you enjoy this one🤍

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

for my other joshua fics, check them here

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"Oh my god, you like him"

"What are you talking about?"

"You know we follow each other on spotify right? You've been listening to the same 6 7 songs for days now. It's a playlist isn't it?"

"Where is this conversation going exactly?"

"Who is it? Tell me"

You look at your friend confused. Soonyoung can be random at times, like right now. He just started this topic randomly.

"You like someone, you only make a new playlist when you like someone so who is it?" he asks

"No one, oh my gosh"

Just then the bell hanging by the door chimes, signaling someone just walked in. You didn't look over only to be surprised when someone sat beside Soonyoung,

"Hey guys, sorry I was late. Have you ordered?"

"Hey" you nod over at Joshua, the guy smiling back at you

Soonyoung watches the exchange, looking back and forth between you and your other friend. It's like a lightbulb just lit up in his head.

You can see his expression change, but before he could say anything you kick his leg under the table to stop him

"AH!"

You shoot him a look, meanwhile Joshua stays oblivious to the chaos. He reads the menu, looking for something to order.

"Is the coffee good?" he asks no one in particular

"Yea, she likes it" Soonyoung points at you

"Oh uh yea it's good"

"Okay, I'll go get that. Do you want anything else?"

"I'm good" your other friend answers, then the two look at you

"Me too, thanks Shua" he shoots you another smile before standing up

"Shua? SHUA? You call him Shua???"

"Yea, because that's his name" you roll your eyes, trying to play it cool

"Oh my god, it's him. You like him" he points at you

"Shut it before he comes back"

"You didn't deny it"

You shoot him another look just as Joshua takes the seat beside him again. The three of you hang out to catch up, a little tradition you do with your friends when you have free time. Sometimes, you drive around town or go on an easy hike or set up a picnic.

Sometimes your other friends join you, but today it's just the three of you.

"The sky's getting dark, it'll probably rain soon" You say while looking out the window, the two guys following your gaze

"Oh yea, we should go. Hey Joshua, can you drive her home? I have a thing I have to drive by before going home"

"Yea no problem" ever the gentleman, Joshua agrees with a smile. The three of you walk out the cafe, saying goodbye to Soonyoung as he walks over to his car. You catch him mouthing something a long the lines of "you're welcome". Probably trying to play cupid between you and Joshua.

The two of you also walk to his car, a hand behind the small of your back to guide you. Even though the ground is flat concrete, you feel like you're going to trip just thinking about how close he is.

Joshua opens the door for you, holding a hand over your head as you get in. You're not even close to hitting the roof of the car, but still, he does it because he is the epitome of 'gentleman'. He waits for you to settle in before closing the door and jogging over the driver's side.

When he gets in the car, he puts the keys in and turn the engine on. Putting one hand behind your seat as he maneuver out of the parking lot.

You can feel your cheeks get warm, it's nothing special but you had to admit he looks so good while doing such a mundane thing.

Joshua looks over at you and notices the blush on your cheeks.

"You okay, baby?"

"Shut up"

He laughs louder, his hand finding yours and intertwining your fingers together.

"Soonyoung thinks I have a crush on you?"

"Does he?"

"Mhm, been listening to the playlist you made me. He said I only ever make a playlist when I like someone" you tell him, you see the smile forming on his pretty lips you had to stop your self from leaning over to steal a kiss from your boyfriend.

"I mean, he's not wrong. You made me one before"

"Yea like before we dated, now you do it too"

It was how you confessed to him, too shy to say you like him to his face so you did it through songs. You thought he didn't get the message you were trying to send over because he didn't say anything to you after you sent the playlist.

You really thought he really didn't see anything other than a friend until one night while hanging out he started to play one of the songs on his guitar. It was during a party, surrounded by all your friends, with people having their own conversations all around you.

And yet your attention was on him, listening to each note he's playing.

"When will we tell him?" Joshua asks you

"Let him figure it out on his own. It's kind of fun to see him get excited over it, it's like we have a fan rooting for us"

"What if I kiss you in front if him"

"You wouldn't dare, Joshua Hong" he smirks when he heard his full name, sparing you a quick glance. He waits until the light turned red before turning over to you, a hand behind your head to pull you closer to him then he's crashing your lips against him.

His lips moving against yours in sync. Like a routine he worked hard on memorizing, he knows just how to get you chasing after his lips asking for a few more kisses. Each one taking your breath like it's the first kiss.

He's the one to break away first (even though he didn't want to, but you're in middle of the road), he kisses your nose before going back to his seat. His hand goes back to holding yours, like back to normal. Like he didn't just kiss the breath out of you.

Joshua smirks when he looks over at you, looking at him with round eyes he loves so much.

The traffic light is still red but you don't dare to tease your boyfriend again because you know he won't hesitate to do it again and then some.

"Hey, I love you" he squeezes your hand, making you look over at him

"I know" you jokingly reply, then you lean over to give him a peck on the cheek.

"Let's sit together next hang out and pretend to secretly like each other" you say, "Easy, I already look like I like you" he say

"No kisses though, have to take me out first"

"We'll call it a date then"

[kkxrmx]

Hello, I'd like to request for something (will leave you to decide the format, if that's okay) related to Stray Kids with the following plot:

Cold or mean co-worker who makes life at work challenging for you, but always defends you if you're caught in an unfair position (being reprimanded or accused for something you didn't do, for example). He just has a strong sense of justice, doesn't necessarily mean he has feelings for you. But one day, something happens that changed your relationship from acquaintance/ co-worker to friends and slowly to lovers after you caught feelings for each other. I can't decide which Stray Kids member to focus on, so maybe you can help me decide?

Thanks!

r u mine? ⋆｡°‧

SYNOPSIS  : your cold coworker might hate you but not as much as he hates seeing people being taken advantage of PLAYLIST : r u mine? - arctic monkeys ; shameless - camilla cabelloPAIRING(S) : coworker!lee minho x gender neutral reader WARNING(S) : mentions of overworking, car wrecks (jokingly mentioned ) , and verbal abuse ( not described )

note : hihi !! im sososo sorry for this being incredibly late :( good news though, im finally out for the summer so i'll core on fulling the other req i have ( thank u guys endlessly for caring about my writing ) !! also.. im using a different app so let me know which one you prefer, the old one or this one!! enjoy <33

note : thank u for reading !! please send me any feedback or critiques you have this time around !! this was so fun despite it taking me forever <33 i hope you enjoyed ! my skz masterlist !!

— @kkxrmx ᧔o᧓

[azucarmorena97]

Cold (1)

Prologue | Pt.2

Spoiled rotten. Idiot. Greedy. Gluttonous. Evrything you could ever despise in a human being, all wrapped up in a beautiful, gold foil package. Seokjin is known across the land- or, at least all over three different IVY league campuses in the area- as the party-legend and the guy to call for a good time. Not to mention, a total whore. The last person you ever would've wanted as a group mate for the first quarter of the new semester, and the last one you would've ever imagined to have fallen absolutuely, head over hell in love with.

Hell as officially frozen over.

A/N: This takes place before Jin's part in my BTS as Cliched School Tropes. I will be inserting a link to that piece right where it fits chronologically in the story so you can read it and come back when it's time. All the boys in this story are from that piece with each story occurring in the same universe and on the same timeline.

Series Warnings: Serious themes will be mentioned in this series, such as substance use/abuse, self harm, and violence. Not to mention, there will be smut in the future!

You've known him for a long time. Since you were about ten years old, to be exact. He's been in your class three different times, once for fifth grade, again for eighth, and then one final time for 11th grade. All three years, you'd interacted with him as little as possible, having decided in fifth grade that you hated him because he got everyone in your class to call you AP because, in his words, you were "such a goddamn nerd."

Girls have always liked him; He's handsome, always has been, he has money, knows how to have fun, doesn't take himself to seriously-

I mean, what's not to like, right?

Wrong. There's plenty to dislike, though writing a list would take forever and no one has that kind of time.

In fact, you were quite pleased when he moved schools in the middle of the semester during Jr. year. You weren't sure why he'd left so randomly, but you didn't really care to ask questions... although you did hear a few conflicting stories: busted for drug possession, caught drinking at a house party, stealing old Hitman Bang's (that's what everyone called the principal) car and taking it for a joyride. Honestly, all of those stories were pretty believable for those who knew him.

Hence, why he sucks as a person.

Imagine your surprise when, on the first day of University, he walks in with a crowd of people hanging off his every word. Walked right past you without a second glance.

Good. That's just how you preferred it anyway.

"It's not that I don't trust your judgment, sir. I just don't think it's gonna work out-" "If I do that for you, I'll have to reconfigure everyone else' group and that is just not an option."

Professor Song has just posted the teams for the upcoming group projects and you're desperately asking him to reconsider. Hoseok is standing next to you being of absolutely no help, of course.

"Sir, I understand but I could do it for you, if you'd like!" "Mr.Jung, do you have an issue with Jin being on your team?" Prof looks at him from over his glasses, lifting an eyebrow. Hoseok looks at him, then at you, "I-I don't have a particular issue-" You kick his ankle 'discreetly', "-I mean, but it does seem very very important to Y/n, so I support her?" Hoseok glances at you, giving a pathetic little smile of appeasment.

"Right...well, the decision is final. Sorry!" Without so much as another word, Prof grabs his briefcase and walks out of the classroom.

You glare at Hoseok, "Thanks a lot, dude."

You push past him and grab your backpack, brows furrowed in anger.

"Oh, come on!" He whines, "Maybe it won't be so bad."

"For you, maybe."

You both exit the classroom and start your way down the hall to where the elevators are. You press the button to go down.

"Look, I get your hesitance to work with him but that was high school and this is university! You seriously think he's the same guy we knew when we were 16?" He asks, putting his hands up for emphasis.

Just then, timing as perfect as any movie, the elevator doors open, revealing a girl with her back toward you, male hands clutching firmly at the flesh of her ass, as though neither of them expected the elevator to stop so soon. She jumps off of him and moves to the side- and there's Jin. Lipstick stained, puffy-pink lipped Jin.

You look at Hoseok, your expression screaming "I TOLD YOU SO." Hoseok just shrugs, "Old habits die hard?"

"I heard he's only there so that daddy doesn't cut him off," B/f/n says, leaning forward to add a few extra paint strokes to her big toe.

You roll your eyes, "I don't even care why he's there- I just want him gone. I don't even know how your boyfriend can stand him. Red flag, B/f/n."

She laughs, "Hoseok just...likes to see the good in people." "Yeah, like a dog." "At least I have a dog," She quips.

"Touche," You sigh, throwing yourself backwards onto your bed.

Neither of your speaks for a little while, the both of you lost in thought. A SZA song playing softly from B/f/n's speaker, filling every space of the room.

"Wanna know the funny part?" "Oh, we're still talking about him?" She asks smugly. "Shut up," You crane your neck to give her a quick glare before returning to your previous position, "The funny part is... I remember the first day I saw him. He walked into class and I thought he was likee...the most beautiful boy I've ever seen." "Really?" She asks, raising her brows in surprise. Seeing as how you're the president of the We-Hate-Jin club, it's a shock to think that, at one time, you might have been just as in love with him as everyone else.

"Yeah...and then he opened his stupid fucking mouth."

She rolls her eyes, "Of course."

You sigh, "I don't know what I'm gonna do." "You could always just transfer out of that class, you know? The semester just started, anyway."

"And let him win!? No way..." "Then, in the words of Edward Cullen, you'll just have to endure it."

And endure, you shall.

"For this first assignment, you will be presenting on any current major political event or global issue. I will be posting some idea topics on the projector, though you can choose a topic not on this list as well, just let me know as soon as you decide. Each topic is first come, first serve, so think of at least three possible topics in case yours is chosen," Prof flips his projector on and claps his hands together, "You may now go and confer with your team."

Students shuffle and move around the classroom to get to their teammates, though you and Hoseok stay put. "Should we go over to him?" Hoseok asks, looking behind him to look for Jin. "No. We're already sitting down, he's the one that should come to us," You say with a self-righteous expression.

A good three minutes pass and you're both still waiting. "I-I don't think he's coming," Hoseok says, checking his apple watch. You flare your nostrils, already annoyed. You give in to the urge to look behind you as Hoseok had, only to see Jin sitting with a large group of people in the back; his head jerking backward in laughter as they all huddle together.

Wordlessly, you stand up from your seat though you leave your notebook and pen at the table. You might be the one to go after him right now, but you'll be damned if you let him dictate where you'll work on the project.

As you approach the large group of people at the far back of the classroom, you feel your heart start pounding in your chest. It's like high school all over again. You try to shove your nerves out of your head and make sure not to let it show on your face. "Excuse me, Jin?" You say.

They all keep talking and carrying on, not a single one of them having heard you. It's like you're standing behind some kind of invisible forcefield of assholery. You clear your throat and, before you can fully gather the nerve, your index finger is making contact with Jin's shoulder. "Jin."

His head immediately whips around, "Mm?" Silence befalls the entire herd and you can feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment. "We're waiting for you."

"Who's waiting for me?" He asks, a genuine look of confusion on his face.

You stare at him blankly, deciding on whether or not he's pulling your leg, "Hoseok and I. Your team. For the project."

He glances over at Hoseok, who is texting away at the other table. "Right, the project." The herd laughs, "Fucking dumbass," One of them says, shoving his shoulder. "Shut your ass up," Jin shoves him, a big smile on his face.

You're still standing there awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

Jin looks as though he's only just remembering you're standing there and he clears his throat, "Uh, yeah. I'll be right there. No worries."

"Alright..." You say, eyes narrowed on him slightly. You're not sure you believe him, but you're also no gonna stand here like an idiot.

You return to your seat and open your notebook. "He coming?" Hoseok asks. "Yeah." "You sure? He hasn't moved like...at all." "He said he's coming, so he's coming. Let's just start thinking of what we want the topic to be." "Alright..." He leans back in his chair, "Well, I was thinking..."

Hoeseok goes through about three different topics, saying this or that about each one, but you can't focus on anything he's saying.

That fucking asshole isn't coming. It's been...goodness, it's been fifteen minutes. Does he just not give a fuck? Of course he doesn't. He's just here so he doesn't get cut off, just like B/f/n said.

"So, what do you think?" Hoseok asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. "Hm?" You ask, blinking slowly as you come back to reality. "Were you listening like, at all?" "Of- of course. Uhm, let's go with your second idea," You glance down at the paper he was jotting ideas down on, "Feminism in the workplace."

"Okay, great," He folds the paper and tucks it into his pocket.

"Alright, everyone. I hope you got some good discussions in. Remember this is due in a week and a half. Make sure to assign jobs tomorrow for everyone to do. Have a good rest of your day."

Everyone starts gathering their things and walking out, chatter filling the room. The crowd Jin was sitting with all walks forward to exit the room, and of course, Jin doesn't even look yours or Hoseok's way.

Fuck it. You don't need him.

"You excited to see him?" B/f/n asks, biting her straw in excitement. You roll your eyes, trying to seem nonchalant, "It's not even a big deal." "Oh, please. You all but begged for Hoseok to invite him." "I did not beg. I...strongly suggested it would be cool to have more people over," You shrug, taking a swig of your coke. "Right," She laughs. "Aaay!" Hoseok's voice booms from the living room, indicating his invited *ahem* guest has arrived.

You and B/f/n both look at each other, sudden panic taking over the both of you; B/f/n for you, and you for yourself. "Teeth!" You both say in unison, prompting you to immediately bare your teeth at her, her eyes carefully examining every single crevice, "You're good." "Breath?" You breath on her. "Minty fresh," She assures. You take a long, deep breath, "Okay. Let's do this." "So much for it not being a big deal," B/f/n says smugly, to which to respond by glaring at her.

"Hey, everyone!" B/f/n greets with a big smile, walking over and hugging Yoongi, Namjoon, and Taehyung.

They all greet the both of you.

"Can I offer you guys any drinks? Namjoon, Yoongi...Taehyung?" Your eyes linger on Tae for just a little longer than the others, as he's your true interest tonight anyway.

"I'll take a beer," Hoseok interjects, to which B/f/n chupses and hits his arm. "Ow?" He furrows his brows.

"I think we'll all take beers," Namjoon says for everyone. "Uhm, I think I'll just have a Sprite, thanks," Tae says.

"One Sprite, coming up" You smile, completely forgetting about everyone else, 'cause fuck 'em, that's why.

"Let's go!" Hoseok cheers, along with the other guys when whatever-the-fuck team scores the winning touchdown. "Good, it's finally over," You say exasperatedly; you're bored to death and just want to be able to talk to Taehyung.

"I don't even know why you'd want to be invited to watch the game- you hate football," B/f/n says, just loud enough for you to hear but no one else.

"I was desperate," You sigh, "I've been trying to get the nerve to talk to Tae' but I never had an in until now." "Just talk to him, you nerd," She says, lightly pushing on your shoulder.

"You're right. I need to stop being a pussy," You nod, "I'm going in."

By this point, everyone's had a few beers- minus Tae- and everyone is in a seemingly good enough mood; "How about some karaoke?" You say, standing in the middle of the living room in front of the TV.

"Fuck yeah!" Hoseok jumps up, "I'll go get the mics."

"Karaoke's not really my think," Yoongi says, crossing his arms. "What? Scared you'll lose your sTrEet CrEd with your shitty singing?" You mock. "Scared? Ha," He shakes his head, "You know what, fine. We'll do some karaoke."

"Ay! Now it's a party," You and B/f/n cheer, "Got the mics," Hoseok says, coming back with the rechargeable mics with built in speakers, "I call first!" "What about you, Taehyung? You gonna sing?" You ask, sitting next to him. He smiles shyly, "I...I don't know. I'm a little shy." "Oh, come on! I'm sure you'll be great." "I think I'll just watch for now," He says, leaning back into the couch.

"Ah, you're the observant type, then?" You ask, taking advantage of the fact that everyone is now focused on Hoseok's overly emotional rendition of The Fray's 'How to Save a Life'.

"I guess so," He nods. "A wallflower of sorts," You add. "What a...pretty way to put being an introvert," He chuckles. "I do have a way with words," You smile. "I definitely don't- I usually get really tongue tied when I'm on the spot." "Yeah, I'm not much of a public speaker, myself." "Shit, me either. I failed speech last semester because of it." "You took speech? Who was your professor?" You ask, rotating yourself to face him better. "Professor Song," He sighs. "No shit- I have him now too!" "Good luck," He shakes his head in pity. "You can say that again. He paired me up with this guy I've known for forever, total dick. I tried to get him to change the teams but Prof was absolutely not with it," You roll your eyes. "Yeah, sounds like Song... Who's the guy?" He asks. "Hm?" "Total Dick." "Ah yeah, him. You may have heard of him. Kim Seokjin?"

"No way, you're working with Jin this semester?!" Yoongi cuts in, plopping down next to you, "I've been overcharging that idiot for weed since middle school," He laughs.

"Remember when you sold him Tums and told him it was molly?" Namjoon laughs. "Oh yeah, that shit was funny."

"So he's really stupid?" Tae asks. "Oh no, he's more than that," You say bitterly. "Oh boy, you've gotten her started," B/f/n sighs. "He's the hugest asshole. Fifth grade, a girl told him he needed a hair cut, so what'd he do? Tangled a huge wad of Hubba Bubba in her hair, then told her he knew a really good barber who could take care of that. Eight grade, he was caught...'playing doctor' with some girl under the bleachers at a football game and then proceeded to completely ignore her for the rest of the year, went on to date her best friend. These are only some of the dickish things he's done-" "Wow, he does seem like quite the asshole," Tae nods, taking a sip of his sprite. You catch yourself having gone on a rant, as you tend to do, and get embarrassed. "Yeah, uhm...well, I-I'm gonna go get us some popcorn. Be right back-" "I've actually gotta get going," Taehyung says, checking his watch. "Yeah, me too," Yoongi nods, putting his beer on the table. "Yoongi's my ride," Namjoon stands as well.

"Oh, okay," You try not to sound so defeated, convinced that you've blown it by sounding like the biggest hater in the universe. "It was nice of you all to come over," B/f/n says. "Of course, thanks for having us," Namjoon smiles. "tHaNks fOr hAvIng Us," Yoongi mocks him, "Fucking dweeb." "It's the polite thing to say," Namjoon furrows his brows. "Bye Taehyung," You say, as he's the last one out the door. "Bye. It was nice talking to you," He smiles politely, giving a slight bow and then following them out.

When the door closes, you plop back down on the couch, letting out a big sigh, throwing your hands over your face in defeat. "Ugh! I blew it, didn't I?" "What? No, not at all...I- I definitely think, for next time, maybe don't go on a tangent about another man?" "Another man? You make it seem like I was talking about a lover," You scoff. "I know, I know. But just tone it down next time." "If there even is a next time," You groan, still not uncovering your eyes. "Oh stop, I'm sure there will be. I'll even make Hobi keep throwing watch parties until Taehyung eventually falls in love with you." Finally, you uncover your eyes, "Promise?" You hold out your pinky, and she hooks hers around it, "Promise."

A/N: I think I'm addicted to writing the boys out to be total jerks. What can I say? That's my type. As always, let me know what you think! <3

[yourlocalenbat]

A chapter 2 has been demanded of me since the 1st one had a cliff hanger

you know who you are

Chapter 2 of Whatever The Hell This Is:

Mr. Clean called his divorce lawyer and set up a meeting for the following day the second Mrs. Clean was out of the house. Then he texted Eric and asked that they see each other because he needs to unwind. Eric agreed almost instantly and they planned to meet at The Snuggly Duckling, the local pub in Mr. Clean's small town he was living in.

Mr. Clean walked over there, it wasn't far, and he had a feeling he wouldn't get his car home anyways. He didn't drink and drive. He wasn't stupid.

Mr. Clean walked in, and Eric was already there, sitting in a cozy little corner with two drinks already. One was Mr. Clean's usual, a sunset margarita. Mr. Clean gave Eric a soft smile, one that was quickly returned, and sat down next to him.

Over at the bar counter, Elsa and Anna were talking and taking shot after shot. They could afford it after all, they were queens, literally and figuratively (✨️).

"That stupid- I thought we had something!" Anna ranted, throwing her hands up in the air, ordering another round of drinks from the bartender. Elsa just rolled her eyes and took a shot, slamming down the empty glass.

"Never trust men, Anna. They only break your heart," Elsa patted her very drunk sister's shoulder. "This is why I'm a lesbian.." Elsa muttered under her breath.

"Hey! Not all men are untrustworthy." Izuku Midoriya countered, as he walked in and joined the girls, smiling. Elsa and Anna's faces lit up as their best friend came in.

"Izukuuuu!" Anna's slurred voice called as she outstretched her arms towards him. Izuku chuckled softly and hugged her, Elsa quickly joining the embrace.

"So I hear Kristoff cheated on you." Izuku asked with a frown, separating from the sisters. Anna scoffed and glared. "Yeah, with Rumplestiltskin (from Shrek) of all people!" Anna said that, and then ordered a beer, a large mug being placed in front of her. Anna chugged it in one and then ordered a second.

Izuku shook his head, angry and disappointed. "Don't worry, Anna. We'll get him back."

Mr. Clean, who had been offhandedly listening, glanced their way. "You got cheated on?" Mr. Clean asked, and suddenly Eric was turning the group's way as well.

Elsa got defensive and stood up. "Yeah, she did. What's it to you?" Elsa crossed her arms over her chest, already readying her powers just in case.

Mr. Clean put his hands up. "Woah, I didn't mean anything by it. I recently got cheated on by my wife as well." Mr. Clean looked solemn. Though, neither him nor Eric were going to mention that Mr. Clean cheated first.

Elsa softened, and Anna lit right up. "Are you proposing... a revenge party?" Anna looked mischievous, Izuku looked curious, and Elsa looked determined.

Mr. Clean smirked, Eric sighed and looked down and off to the side. This was not going to end well and he seemed to be the only one who knew it...

"That's exactly what I'm thinking." Mr. Clean got up and walked to the bar counter, Eric reluctantly following behind. "Any ideas?" Mr. Clean looked between the trio.

"We can trap them in ice cages." Elsa suggested, clenching her fists. Anna was quick to pipe in, and maybe it was her drunken mind, or infuriated heart, but she was a little more extreme. "And the bars had spikes so they can't get close. And they're stuck in the middle."

Mr. Clean grinned like the devil. Izuku, however, sober and wanting to keep it a little less than deadly, added his two cents. "But the ice needs to melt eventually. We can't keep them trapped forever." Izuku almost scolded.

Reluctantly, the two sisters, and Mr. Clean nodded. "But we can set them up like mines. They step on one and they're trapped again." Elsa suggested, and it was back to mischievous grins.

"We can do it tomorrow. I'll lure my ex out to the forest with divorce papers, you lure your ex out however you see fit." Mr. Clean decided, nodding firmly.

"Then we'll be up all night." Izuku grinned, cracking his knuckles.

With their date set, and plan in place, the group was ready.

Eric, however, was already feeling the sinking guilt...

[poursomesunaonme]

promised

a 1k followers mini-event <3

deadline to submit: august 13th

in my ask box, send me:

a character

i mainly write for snk, jjk, hq, and kny, so dm & ask about a character if theyre in another fandom !

a song from below

sfw/nsfw

pls indicate any pet names u prefer / or lack thereof

any specific trope you like, or u can let me take it and roll w it !

if nsfw, pls make sure ur age is in ur bio & include preferred kinks / icks !

when i finish ur submission, pls reblog !

must be following to participate!

pls boost if you can ! ive been on hiatus so not sure how many people im reaching & i really wanna write !!

drabbles will be ~ 500 words

the driving force behind this collab is my obsession w the musician/artist quinnie! her music rocks my world and ive never listened to someone who spoke so deeply to my soul <3 here are the song/lyric choices:

man

"so fuck all your gold stars / the cherries in the backyard / no amount of sugar could sweeten such a bitter heart"

security question

"wish i could ask, 'how was your day?' / i wish i knew the person's name / you think of under the covers when you slip into the night"

itch

"although i'm oversaturated / know i'm earnest too / and i know i'm eager / but i can't fucking wait for the day that i finally get to kiss you"

touch tank

"he's so pretty when he goes down on me / gold skinned, eager, baby blue shirt out the laundry / he tells me he's gentle when he wants to be / so i think he wants to be gentle with me"

popcorn and juice

"[wanna] fall asleep in the car after the waterpark / with the radio soft in your ears / august coppertone tan, crannies filled up with sand / and saltwater still clogging your ears"

promised

"you're dryer steam, you're someone's wet dream / ice cream for a meal"

fade

"when you fall asleep next to me / it's nice to have you by my side / to keep my body company"

shape

"can you smooth the looping lines / of fingerprints before your time? / patience with the jagged grooves / of relics that i can't remove / one thing washing up to you / kiss me till the cells are moved on my body

gold ring

"it's a gold ring / deep inside a junk drawer / maybe it's forever / maybe i'm not sure"

gold star

"i'll wait up for you / i'll wake up for you / ... / make my bed for you / when you finally come through / can you give me a gold star / and see me through?"

honestly tho if i didnt include another one of her songs that u like then send it in !!

masterlist

mattsun + itch

armin + security question

satoru + gold star

bokuto + gold ring

noya + promised

satoru + itch

yuuji + fade

satoru + touch tank

atsumu + popcorn and juice

tetsuro + fade

kiyoomi + itch

kento + shape

block the “promised event” tag if u wanna avoid spam

also plugging flounder by quinnie (go stream ! it will change ur life !)

(heart divider from @cafekitsune)

© all work belongs to poursomesunaonme. do not copy and repost.

[lightningmickqueen]

f1 drivers as underrated and/or unreleased taylor swift songs that altered my brain chemistry

george russell: "i'd lie" because listen "he tells a joke, i fake a smile" he's the least funny person ever but i'd still laugh and also i definitely lie when people ask if i love him (i do but i refuse to admit it publicly if you tell anyone i said this i will lie!!!)

lando norris: "thug story" because of the second hand embarrassment but also i wouldn't be surprised if he knew every word

yuki tsunoda: "today was a fairytale" but unfortunately today was not a fairytale!!! maybe one day he will live to fairytale again but til then he's still feeling this magic in the air though i have faith and i believe

alex albon: "crazier" because listen this is like THE slow dance rom com song from the iconic masterpiece rom com the hannah montana movie and if that doesn't describe alex albon idk what does

nico hulkenberg: "lucky you" ok i love taylor and i know she was like 12 when she wrote this but this song is mid just like hulk <3 however unlike hulk , taylor is no longer mid !!!

lewis hamilton: "superman" i don't know if i need to explain this one i think it makes sense this is just him he'll save the world or go to work it's the same thing idk

pierre gasly: "we were happy" ah a song about young love. love when you're young. love when you were friends and you were young and in love . and then it stopped . no longer friends and young and in love. i wonder why that makes me think of pierre gasly.

esteban ocon: "i heart ?" because listen . "another mess i didn't plan, and i'll bet you thought you beat me" listen!!! not only is that esteban coded but also he's definitely blasting this in his driver room at alpine to piss off his childhood best friend turned rival turned roommate turned ???? aka a certain pierre gasly

logan sargeant: "who i've always been" listen u cannot deny that logan can drive and that's what he's here to do !! the easy ride was never his ambition

oscar piastri: "welcome distraction" SOLELY for the bit where she's like "gone and spilled my coffee trying to get the phone because i thought it might be you" because that is the most oscar piastri thing ever it's so adorably awkward

max verstappen: "beautiful eyes" listen his eyes are SO pretty they're actually illegal in 197 countries if you dont see the vision go to specsavers

charles leclerc: "sweeter than fiction" aka the reason i made this post. this song is SO charles coded and you know what ? ?? ? i will be there time and again and in that perfect weather it'll be like we don't remember the rain we thought would last forever and ever and there'll he'll stand ten feet tall i will say "I KNEW IT ALL ALONG"

lance stroll: "point of view" because from his point of view he's doing GREAT the grass is really green on his side of the street or maybe that's his car. who knows who's right but he thinks he's doing great so

carlos sainz: : "love they haven't thought of yet" it's very cute and honestly very 16 year old taylor but there is something just sooooo carlos about a song about not wanting what's normal but wanting the best and a fairytale even when it doesn't and can't exist <3

zhou guanyu: "superstar" he is literally too powerful for the f1 grid this man is the most well rounded well dressed mfer there and everyone else is no one special theyre invisible

sergio perez: "stupid boy" he is SO. literally any time you expect something decent or good he does the opposite. his most consistent trait. ugh

kevin magnussen: "R-E-V-E-N-G-E" it's on his list of things to do this week he's gonna make SOMEONE feel sorry. not sure who yet but it'll happen

valtteri bottas: "matches" but it's his attitude towards mercedes also "i gave you space you took my place and gave it to her" he may be besties with lewis but he will never like george <3 that's ok tho he looks great w a mullet and he's gonna burn it down

mick schumacher: i don't want to lose his face i don't want to wake up one day and not remember what time erased and i don't want to turn around because i'm not scared of what love gave me and took away and i don't want to lose his face

sebastian vettel: "just south of knowing why" listen it's about driving all night searching for something you'll never find he's definitely done that irl and also he doesn't have a plan he doesn't have a map he doesn't even know if he's ever going back

fernando alonso: "only the young" i know you're doubting me but this is about winning and overcoming the odds and also only the young can run (from him)

[dorotheado]

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT TRACKLIST THEORIES

"Fortnight" (ft Post Malone) - gosh what a start. my guess feels unrealistic but i'm imagining a song that goes like 'day 1:' and starts at a brilliant relationship and ends on day 14 with a break up. lol. there were 2 ish weeks between the start of the eras tour and the breakup right........

"The Tortured Poets Department" - im imagining a real breakdown of lockdown like how the pandemic resulted in two people sitting in the dark writing tortured poetry. rip

"My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys" - interesting how this is self-objectifying (i.e. she is the toy). i'm assuming this is a bit like tongue in cheek, he loves me so much that he breaks me. imagining some poppy sounds tbh

"Down Bad" - ok so im expecting this one to be about being in love and it sucks. it just sucks. lol im really not guessing very many emotional facets in this album im sticking w like 2 ideas: in love or in pain so far lol. anyway

"So Long, London" - this place haunts me it has all my memories and i love it but it's too painful (SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (sidenote she will be singing this one as the last surprise song in london on the eras tour obviously)

"But Daddy I Love Him" - oh this one gonna break me i reckon lol like i am both thinking sad bop w extremely like sassy tone and also slow sad song realising the inevitability of it all. so idk how to reconcile those but 🤷🏻‍♀️

"Fresh Out the Slammer" - im imagining rock-y sounds with very get-him-back-olivia-rodrigo-vibes but mainly im just thinking "getaway car" IM OUT IM OUT desperation lyrics

"Florida!!!" (ft Florence and the Machine) - based on my very limited knowledge of florence and the machine i am picturing gospel backing vocals and lyrics about adrenaline rushes and desperation in the face of weighty emotions

"Guilty as Sin?" - literally no clue about this one. i guess like 'was it my fault?'

"Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?" - anti hero extended? maybe like 'we had this fight and you're retreating... but what is there to be afraid of?' maybe a bit angry also ?

"I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)" - EVERYBODY IS DOUBTING ME BUT MY WHOLE LIFE I BEEN FIXING PEOPLE AND I'M 1000000% THIS GUY CAN BE FIXED AND THAT I AM GOOD ENOUGH TO DO IT NO PLS BELIEVE ME (i am aware this is essentially just the title but i just am imagining very classic un-self-aware but also supremely self aware sad bop)

"Loml" - i'll be honest every time i just think of Queen & freddie mercury singing 'love of my life' lol but if i hazard a guess i will say loml DOES stand for love of my life and it's a painful love song (like this is the love of my life. maybe it wont last forever but it's the one chance i have. very "false god")

"I Can Do It with a Broken Heart" - i agree w jaime that this is giving long live 2.0 like 'yoh sang these words back to me and suddenly i have strength' but tbh i have been guessing long live 2.0 on every album since lover so watch me be wrong

"The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived" - FUCK U IT'S JOEVER (either hard rocky sounds or soft strings a la ivy/illicit affairs/invisible string)

"The Alchemy" - i'm imagining that the chorus ends with the line 'but what about the alchemy?' - i.e. everything sucks but the chemistry pulls us back together each time, a la "style"

"Clara Bow" - 'how must she have felt? i could take a guess'

"The Manuscript" - i thought this was it and it wasnt and maybe the invisible string wasnt between us but was just the direction of my life ?

"The Bolter" - oh classic me i just run! i always run! and i stayed but now im running! fable-moral-lesson vibes maybe?

"The Albatross" - it's hanging around my neck. im imagining epiphany type strings

"The Black Dog" - haunting me its haunting me everywhere i go, im imagining haunted but the despair is quieter.

[sakurasacrifice]

10.8.23

I love u, their just words you're reading on your phone screen, but my love for you goes so much deeper than that, and the only way I can show u is through the light in my eyes, me holding your gaze just so u can feel what I feel. I wish I could be yours, hearing u talk about expanding your family, and I'm just listening quietly, wishing that one day you'd run back 2 me, and hold your word from everything u promised me. I still dream, dream about us laying in bed naked watching anime, finishing hunterxhunter even the filler episodes. Taking me to see your favorite places, but that was just a fantasy, sweet words that made it into a reality in my head. I just want to hold u in my arms, I just want to kiss u non stop. I miss sucking u off, I miss kissing u in the car, rain pouring and I wish I could sit on u and make love to u forever. But those are dreams that will never xome true, I'll just love u in silence, ill just love u while i look at u. But I swear if u ever decide that I'm the one, ill drop whoever for u, you're the love of my life, and I wish I was your girl maybe even your wife. I won't ever stop loving you, you truly have my heart and soul, even if I'm not yours.

[joytraveler]

47. Gobble-UP

"All right, this is cute, something silly to relax by, but nothing special I guess. Adorable art, though!" She goes to the first request next, Gobble Up! "Ok parasite fans, I think your favorite character is incoming!"

DueyDecimal: YAY TAPEWORMS HNV: yaypworms Baconnaise: Tapworms. as in I wanna tap dat worm

Perhaps surprisingly, no. This is another Pac-Man style game, but the main character is... A big capital letter G? And the first level is very small, almost cramped. Just run around and eat up junk food scattered around the maze to win!

"...Oh. This game brought to you by the letter... J, oddly enough. Well it was G's idea, J just donated to make it real. It's a nice story, really"

berd_snurglar: Time for some Greed and Gluttony Llord_Kuruku: wow, truffle fries? cronuts? The letter G has expensive tastes THE_BOMBER: bea u need to go on a diet after this!!

"I thought I was supposed to be doing this BEFORE I had the baby but oh well"

The first level is completed easily. The second one is bigger and more complex, and now there's enemies: THERE'S your friends the tapeworms! You can eat them without trouble, but if they get into the food, it becomes poisonous. Also, the junk food is getting bigger-- hams, cakes, turduckens!

"Nomnomnomnom, this is certainly more to my own tastes than eating stuff out of someone's guts like last time but hey, to each their own" She ferociously defends a large cake from the worms, difficult because it's such a big target and you have to eat it one layer at a time!

Two levels down! The third level is even bigger, in fact the screen has to scroll to get it all... and now the food is a lot less food-like. Bea can tell what the icons are supposed to represent, but the messages when you eat them aren't subtle about it.

YOU ATE: A CAT YOU ATE: A PIGEON

aroseahorseboy: dude this G needs dexatrim or something HNV: Bea, push yourself away from the table. You've had enough.

"OKAYYY, now we're getting a little outside my usual snack preferences but all right, why not."

"I feel like this is the bizarre offspring of katamari and a sesame street sketch"

Chillarmy_The_Bee: omnomnom, cookies! and animals! berd_snerglar: animal crackers in your soup

Next stage is at least three screens wide, and this time... yup. You guessed it:

YOU ATE: CHILD

"This is the second game in a row where I'm eating children, not sure how to feel about that. Not a big veal fan"

DOG. GRANDMA. OTHER DOG. ANGSTY TEEN. "Mmm, I can taste the emo."

Every stage seems to double the size of the maze, and the maze gets less symmetrical each time, this latest one has a big bulge leading out of one side with just a single food item! But it's a big one-- VOLKSWAGEN.

"G is for German Ingenuity! NOMPH!"

HNV: Guys, Bea is really enjoying this, I'm worried DueyDecimal: This is someone's fetish

"Oh like none of you ever dreamed of eating a car. Or... a truck, holy crap. What's gonna be next, a house?? ..OH. "

SPLIT-LEVEL... SLUM... LUXURY APARTMENT... always with that digitized munching, gulping sound!

"Ok now this is getting silly. I bet the G was something else originally, otherwise this just doesn't really make sense. S'fun, though!"

The number of tapeworms increases with each stage, but it takes more and more of them to poison even one food item-- by the sixth stage you're munching your way through veritable rivers of them, yet the icon they're headed for takes forever to turn blue! No wonder, either-- YOU ATE: BANGOR

"Again, I'd have to be really trying to lose thing. And there goes Maine, and the rest of the East coast, sorry East bees but a G's gotta eat I guess. Maybe I'll turn into a new planet?"

Again, it really is the drudgery that's the major foe in this game-- the mazes are HUGE, the monsters do no damage, and it takes about ten minutes to complete the last stage as you're eating up NAMIBIA... UKRAINE... DENMARK... CALIFORNIA...

"Come on, give me a challenge here! What about a really gross state or country? I bet the midwest is kind of fatty and flavorless, like their food. And there goes any viewers I might have over there, sorry!"

SugaGlydah: No, you're right, we're like a hot dish but colder

And here's the tenth and presumably final stage-- it sprawls and sprawls, seeming to go on for screens in every direction before you get to: THE MOON.

Klickitat_Street: if this was supposed to be a lesson in distance between planets, you better move on...

"Yellow hearts, pink clovers, giant rocky moons! Come along Gromit"

"Juuust waiting for something to happen here.. Maybe I won already?" The Bea G searches about the maze, it seems to go on forever! "A dessert tray? I'll take a mint.. How about just a tooth pick? For my letter teeth."

HNV: well, the G isn't getting any thinner... I'm starting to suspect you're out of game.

But just in time, there's something! It's tiny, but it's something! It's... (137924) 2000 BD19.

Llord_Kuruku: I googled it... wow. That's obscure

Bea looks up from her phone. "It's a- yeah. Looks crunchy!" She moves the G over it. "Ok seriously what is going here?! I've gone from snack foods to asteroids, there's worms again, I still don't know what's going on here but I'm pretty sure I'm winning"

Baconnaise: Space is big, Bea. Really, really big.

"What, that's not it?" She keeps moving. "Oh man... Oh man, COME ON!"

berd_snerglar: it's a very long way to Venus

"...You know, we each have a finite amount of time in this world." she says, moving the G through screen after screen of nothingness. "I don't think pulling a Unicron is worth it, beez. Time to play something else?"

aroseahorseboy: oh man what if Unicron really did just start out as someone who was REALLY HUNGRY and ate all the food in the house

"He did go on to found PlanetEaters Anonymous after retirement, it's a known fact."

aroseahorseboy: hey, play quizdo or whatever, that sounds kooky Baconnaise: at least we know what to expect from the pinball one

"Gibdos it is!"

[bonecavibora]

2/8/23 5:40 am

i can hear my family waking up lol i just hope nobody tries to talk to me right now. i'm not trying to be a dick but from 2 am to around 6 am is my alone time. something about those hours brings me peace. i feel like i never really have the time to sit and reflect on my day outside of these hours.

i don't know how i'm gonna manage working overnight :( it won't make a difference in my sleep schedule since i'm always up, i'm just gonna miss being able to sit up and think at the crack of dawn. i love when it's dark outside. i'd love to walk around at those hours but as much as i don't like to admit it or think about it i'm a girl and realistically, that's not safe to do alone.

anyway, let's reflect on the day and shit. i woke up around noon because my mom was calling me. i was blown bc she didn't respond and im not gon lie bra i was NOT getting up. but she called me again and my grandma came over! i haven't seen my grandma in a while she moved like 30 mins away and i don't drive :') but yea after she left i finagled some doordash for my mom and shit you know... but anyway yea i kinda don't remember what i did for the 4 hours following that. that is so concerning.

i hate how so many hours of the day just disappear from my head. i like to reflect and that's pretty hard when you don't remember what the fuck you was doing. but yea after those 4 mystery hours kev called me to come smoke and i made a lil deal wit daniel. nigga took me to my auntie house for a cinnamon bun LMFAOOO.

i been smoking a lot more ever since i came back from college. i don't really see it as a problem but i feel like the smell of weed is in so many of my clothes and wigs... the smell of weed doesnt bother me but why would i wanna walk around smelling like the drug i partake in? i like to get high tho lol it allows me to sleep like 75% of the time and it clears my head... i'm also wayyy nicer after i smoke. that's that boneca shit lmfaooo.

speaking of that dumb ass boneca shit, lemme tell y'all about this weirdo ass nigga. on my soul dat nigga act soooo lame to me bra. i don't know what it is... why do niggas do that disappearing shit on me every time? niggas be so fake busy bra but it's 24 hours in a day and all i want is a "hey how are you" maybe even a "good morning" but if i'm not that important to you i shouldn't be fuckin wit you right?

i think at this point i should stay to myself forever? but i don't know i want at least one valentine's day to be successful. but niggas is just so super duper fucking weird bra like if you don't wanna fw me fr just say that shit. if you just want sex say that. if you don't feel like talking just say that. i don't even ask for a lot fr, i ask for the bare minimum if we're being honest i could be asking for the world and then some. i know niggas don't always got it like that to be trickin, but when did i ever ask for that? and especially if you a nigga who claim dat he havin bra. if you was truly havin, you would come see me by now!!! i don't even want your money bra just put some gas in that dumb ass car and bring yourself.

anyway, i should sleep now right? i'll prolly talk to y'all in the morning... i'll tell y'all if that puto text me.

boa noite pra casa de boneca

[productofaritual]

(Hi me from the future here. You were mostly right. I am now on a quest for cs!Dream's blood. Context below. Enjoy my suffering)

Ok going into it let's see what we got

"Plans to go to dinner" Ok date much??? Marriage much??? He mentions marriage again right I got bingo right

NEOPRONOUNS NIKI LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Skirt pog. Compliment pog. Kiss already.

"Realization" Yes. We all know. You're the last one to realize it actually

Gay. Gay. Homosexual. Gay.

Oooh Tubbo's the first one to know about it??? Cool. Predictable. Now for your wedding vows-

DREAM NO. NO. DREAM. YOU MOTHERFUCKER LEAVE HIM BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NOT NOWWWWWW- oh Tubbo saves the day pog. I'm sure that won't bite Ran in the ass later (me from the future again. I guess it didn't? Maybe in the 'filler' chaps)

OH MY GOD THEY'RE SO FUCKING GAYYYYYYYY also if I got a nickel for every fic that compares Tubbo to the sun from Ranboo's pov, I'd have two nickels because DeTerra. I'm so normal. Let's continue

NOT THE FUCKING QUIZ I'M CACKLING

MY ARO BOYYYYYY your sins of liking chocolate over vanilla are forbidden, welcome to the club, we have cookies

"That was the part I knew you'd love" Is a sentence I read after writing that. Damn u. /pos

The storm. o7 to my mental state let's go

New years pog. Preemptively put Tubbo in rehab overnight I don't think he can handle this

DREAM. Oh what did I say about the ignored call coming to bite him in the ass (once again, guess it didn't?)

Ranboo. My dude. My buddy. My pal. My guy. My fella. My friend. My fellow aspec. DID YOU NOT LEARN A SINGLE THING ABOUT GOING STRANGE PLACES WITH STRANGE PEOPLE WITHOUT INFORMING ANYONE??? YOU'RE JUST ASKING TO BE MURDERED THEY SHOULD'VE TAUGHT YOU THAT AT SOME POINT YOU DOOF

Along with my payments towards Tubbo's rehab, Tubbo's therapy, Ranboo's therapy, and their subsequent wedding, I will also be paying for a fucking hitman to take out Dream because YOU LEAVE MY BOY PANICKING IN A FUCKING HOTEL ROOM. Also real talk for a sec, Ran, buddy, what did I just say about going strange places with strange people. What did I JUST say

"Gets comforted" Dream I will rip out your veins and guts and organs and eyes and chop off your fingers AND HANG THEM AS HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS

Hallucination update: I will not be paying for a hitman. I'LL TAKE THAT MAN OUT MYSELF "KEEP SLEEPING" HOW ABOUT YOU SLEEP FOREVER AND WHATEVER IS LEFT OF YOU AFTER I'M DONE IS BURIED IN MY BACKYARD

All this God talk as an atheist is weirdly funny to me

"Let sleeping comets die" Look I'm no space expert, but I don't think that's how comets work?

"He's wondering where Fundy is" Why did that make me laugh

I'm sure there's imagery and metaphors in that, but I'm also sure I'm shit at metaphors and therefore we will move on

DREEEEEEEEEEAAAAM. Also with the amount of comments Ranboo previously made about dying in a car crash. You're just torturing my poor boy let him be :(

"You're not God you're some delusional kid" Ok he kinda right tho- "you need me" Never mind I'm back to murder and realistic Halloween decor. Might paint the walls red too if you catch my drift

"Mental hospital" Why am I surprised. Also yay, you thought about dying in a car crash so much that u called it! Congratulations! I'm sad now.

"It was supposed to be Tommy" LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

NO HE WAS TALKING WITH DREAM??? Of all the fucking people istg i would have been happier with it being an internal monologue. And we all know how much I hate internal monologues

Backstory- and he's commuting murder suicide. I mean. A bit drastic. But I approve. Just make sure to leave him intact enough so I can get my Halloween decorations (can you tell I'm coping with humor)

DING DONG THE WITCH-O-BITCH IS DEEEEEEEEAD- no don't have a mental breakdown about it pookie this is great news- fuck's sake WHY IS EVERYONE HERE SAD WHEN THE BAD GUYS ARE DYING FUCK YOU LET ME CELEBRATE

Also Tubbo text pog what does it mean I'm sure I'll find out (future me here again, hi, I didn't find out)

FUCK he's not dead. DAMMIT. Do I have to do everything myself around here?

You're right I do hate it and I hate that I was right about it being endersmile. Fuuuuuuck my life.

Drunkbo. Fuck you. Rehab. Now.

Oh wow sad ending fml ig also pls don't die pookie your hubby still didn't get into rehab you gotta wait a lil longer

Also can I just get what happened at the very end of the last chap? 32 I believe it is. Ihave a feeling I should be able to get through the fic if it's one chap once every full moon

Heyoooo so could u spoil the rest (so far) of cs for me plssss. Like I would read it but I feel like it would ruin the entire fic for me because I'd have to force myself to and that's not fun -.-

Ended at the scene where Ranboo goes to Fundy's flat and Fundy's like "Hey! Here's your tragic backstory!" And Ranboo's like "oh fuck *has a breakdown*"

This is also me giving u a chance to yap about cs so add as many details, hcs and personal opinions as you'd like, :)

my time to shine :D

i’m probably just going to give out the main plot points that happened then on, just because if i said every little thing that happens we would be here literally all day because towards the end the chapters get very long so!

if you don’t want spoilers for cs, look away !!!!

okay, the main chapters to talk about are chapter 28 and 30 the rest are less plot driven and more just fillers, almost. lots happen, but not much to talk about like the big two !

28:

the chapter starts out with ranboo talking to dream about photography and shit, nothing out of the ordinary, and it’s pretty short! at least that scene is. and then he and tubbo have plans to go to a diner later in the evening, and while ranboo is finding clothes, he spots a skirt that he thinks is niki’s. he considers wearing it, which makes the chapter mostly about identity + gay shit ! (more on identity later, not just this bit) and he tells niki he thinks it got mixed up in his closet, and then asks about pronouns and niki is revealed to go by she/xe, and she lends ranboo a skirt to wear and he kind of loves it. it’s a very sweet scene :) and then he goes to pick up tubbo and tubbo’s kind of first reaction is to tell him he looks pretty, which ranboo says he’s not used to, and tubbo says he’ll make sure he’s used to it (i fucking hate gay people /j) then, they go to the diner, order food, have some banter, and tubbo has, in his words, a “realization”, which is probably when he realized he’s gay for ranboo! and he calls ranboo pretty again. the 2nd time that night. and ranboo says some gay stuff about how pretty tubbo looks to himself, as well, because of course he would. and they go to the train tracks nearby, and ranboo explains the whole memory loss thing to tubbo. dream calls him, and tubbo asks him not to answer. so, ranboo doesn’t. and then you have my personal favorite scene of the entire fic i’ve had multiple emotional breakdowns about.

when the sunsets, tubbo points it out, and ranboo comments that it’s pretty.

and here’s the line that literally gets me crying all the fucking time; “beside him, the sun says, “so are you.”” he drives him back home and tubbo falls asleep in the car.

ranboo goes home and proceeds to take a quiz. “do i have feelings for my best friend?” which sends him to find out about being aromantic, and being queerplatonic. that’s the second part of the identity part of the chapter. ranboo realizes he’s aro :) that was the part i knew you’d love lmao

and now, the storm, because that was the calm.

in chapter 30, it is new years. around 2-3 in the morning, can’t remember, and ranboo is still awake. dream shows up at his door, and tells him they’re going somewhere. ranboo doesn’t question it (maybe because it’s so early) and puts out food for springerle and grabs the necessities. they drive to a hotel, and dream tells him not to worry about paying because he never told him they’d be going there.

dream leaves ranboo alone in the hotel room for HOURS, which has ranboo panicking the whole time, thinking he could be dead, and having an emotional breakdown when dream gets back. he gets comforted, they play some video games, and then they’re on the road

dream is driving, and he tells ranboo to go to sleep because it’ll be a really long drive and they’re stuck in traffic. ranboo has nothing better to do, so he closes his eyes. there’s also a storm.

it’s very creepy. there are voices, beckoning him to come and saying things like “we have your parents” “we have god” “come join us” and ranboo immediately wakes up in fear. dream tells him to go back to sleep. and he does. and the voices don’t stop. they never do. they keep mentioning god, especially, which will make more sense in a moment! he feels hands on him, tugging him down. they also say “come down here we don’t love you nowhere does” and it’s all very eerie. ranboo wakes up once more, to dream asking what he’s dreaming about because he’s muttering about smoke, and there are scratches on his arms. dream insists on him sleeping to “get more information”

this time, they’re still talking about how they have god. they have his entire life. they have his future lover. his future life. how they stole his smoke, his voice, his music— the stars — and ranboo, in his dream, is screaming back and saying he doesn’t want to go.

“YOU ARE A COMET” and they mention stars, and black holes (more on that) and let sleeping comets die (foreshadowing)

and ranboo is freaking out in his dream, begging for it to stop, and it doesn’t. and it describes tubbo, mentions the diner and smoke and brown hair. the hands are still on him, pulling him down.

there’s a black hole. a lid over it, closing the iris of an eye. which takes him to “THAT WAS NEVER MY NAME” all of the writing that is supposed to be a voice is frantic and mostly misspelled and some are in all caps (usually ranboo, but the voices too) “GOD IS AN IRIS” and he is wondering where fundy is

and he can’t breathe and they’re calling him a rabbit, a baby comet, an iris

he has blood underneath his fingernails when he wakes up, and dream asks him what he saw.

dream swerves and ranboo hits his head on the dashboard . ranboo feels like he’s going insane. dream is holding the collar of his shirt tightly.

and this is where all hell breaks loose.

ranboo says there was a black hole and he thinks he killed it. dream swerves and ranboo hits his head against the window. he says something like “not again, we’re not doing this again.” ranboo doesn’t remember having this happen before.

dream starts screaming about how he should forget. he always forgets. that he’s still dreaming about the black hole. ranboo says it needs him. dream continues screaming.

then, ranboo says; “it’s god, isn’t it? that’s me. i��m… i’m god.”

dream slams his head against the dashboard. he yells, “NO! you aren’t god. do you understand me? you aren’t god. you’re some delusional fucking kid. and you need me. you’re nothing without me.”

and then, dream says “do you think you’re getting out of this alive?”

he slams his head against the dashboard AGAIN. he’s screaming about how he (ranboo) should’ve stayed in the mental hospital.

ranboo thinks that no one will see him or dream ever again. he calls it “one of the best days in history”

dream rambles about it was “supposed to be tommy” and that his family ruined it.

dream mentions tubbo and how he would’ve hated ranboo. ranboo whispers “we were gonna get married.” “what?” “he called me pretty.”

we’re given the information that when ranboo was 15, with a new name and no family, on withdrawal from anti psychotics, he had been walking for days straight with nowhere to go, reaching an overpass, he caused a collision of cars. one unconscious, and one wide awake. dream was awake. he almost killed him. if only it worked.

and how dream bought him his first camera and how they’d meet in a park. how he left for a while and ranboo was waiting for him.

dream says no one will go looking for him.

dream swerves and ranboo unbuckles his seatbelt to slam on the breaks, because he is going to try and kill both dream and himself so neither of them get out of this alive.

when the car stops spinning, ranboo grabs something smaller than a gun from the glovebox, while dream gets out of the car. he drops the gun on accident. he feels something cut him.

dream has a fistful of his hair, a switchblade, and is holding him down against the pavement. ranboo passes out.

three days go by, where he’s asleep. he wakes up to being all bandaged up.

he’s confused. he has a text from tubbo saying “EXCITED 2 C U”

he won’t see him. but he also has a multitude of texts from dream. i won’t go much into detail, but the overall message is; “you made me kill myself and i wanted you to live with that guilt.”

he has a breakdown, of course, because telling an anxiety ridden psychotic 17 year old that he’s the reason you killed yourself probably isn’t the best way to do things!!!!

he goes to sapnap and george after his little breakdown, and they tell him he’s not dead at all. he’s in jail.

but, regardless, here’s the whole parallel i told u you’d fucking hate ^___^ “and he wants dream to hug him again, and he wants dream back so badly, he needs dream back he needs him he needs him why did he leave him—“ “ranboo loved dream. dream was his boss, and dream was his tutor, and dream was his friend, and dream was everything he had, and now he’s gone”

he goes to a park and it’s basically midnight, or at least VERY late. tubbo calls him. he doesn’t know what he’s saying. he doesn’t hear anything.

eventually, though, he hears him ask for him to say something because ranboo hasn’t said a word since he picked up. and the only words he can muster up is “‘m a white dwarf.” and of course, tubbo is pretty confused. he’s also drunk, so. (a white dwarf is a dead/dying star…)

he goes back to his apartment, and the last thing it says in the chapter is;

“in the quiet of his bedroom, body and mind equally broken, ranboo beloved becomes a black dwarf.” (black dwarfs are theoretically white dwarfs minus the light and heat if i remember right)

[spencestyles]

Instagram Girl (pt 2)

summary: you meet spencer’s team after finding out they’ve seen your instagram

pairing: spencer reid x reader

warnings: none

words: 1k+

~~~~~~~~~~

y/u/n

liked by 5,823

you can't tell but our shoes are matching

comments

drreid: I told you to caption it "Matchy, matchy" but whatever, we're still cute.

penelope_meow: THIS IS SO CUTE I SHIP

y/u/n: @penelope _meow you must be one of Spencer's work friends, the technical analyst

"Spencer did your work friends find out about us?" you asked.

“They did, I guess our technical analyst-“

“Penelope,” you cut him off.

"Yes, Penelope, she saw that I commented on your picture, which I almost never do, and she looked at the post and then stalked your account," Spencer explained.

"Can I meet them now?" you asked, knowing yes would be your answer. Spencer never said no to you.

"There is a dinner at Rossi's tonight," Spencer said. "I was going to ditch it, but if you want to meet the team I can tell Dave we're coming."

"Yes we are going," you said. "I need to shower, I'll be out in like ten minutes."

In the BAU groupchat

y/n and I are coming to dinner tonight

Penelope: OMG FINALLY

Dave: Good! I made extra pasta!

Jennifer: I can't wait to meet her!

You walked out of the shower and saw Spencer smiling at his phone, "What are you smiling at?"

"My friends are excited to meet you," Spencer said.

"I'm feeling anxious," you said honestly. "What should I wear?"

"Wear that new black dress you got," Spencer said.

"Are you sure you want me to wear that?" You asked honestly. "I mean it is pretty scandalous for me to just be meeting your team."

"Derek has been making fun of me for being a virgin for years" Spencer explained. "I want them to know I have a sexy girlfriend that I sleep with nightly." You laughed and walked into your shared bedroom and changed. You walked out ready to leave.

"Spence, we should leave now," you said.

"Wow," Spencer began. "Maybe, you should change."

"Spencer Walter, I am not changing" you said. "I knew this was going to happen, I am not changing. Don't make a fool out of yourself. We are leaving." You were freaking out. You had never met Spencer's team and you knew they were going to be critical. They were his best friends.

You stepped out of Spencer car and looked at David's house, well mansion, "Wow."

"Just wait until you see whats on the inside," Spencer laughed. You walked up to the front of the house shaking. You were so nervous and Spencer also made you late. Spencer knocked on the door and you heard the noise from inside the house stop and people walking to the door. The door opened and six familiar people stood smiling at the door.

"Hello," Spencer said. "Team this is my girlfriend, y/n this is my team."

"Hi," you said softly as David took you inside.

"Can you guys not be so awkward, try not to scare her off. Jesus Christ," Spencer whisper-yelled at the team.

"Sorry Pretty Boy, but we are just excited to see Spencer's hot new girlfriend," Derek said.

"Don't call my girlfriend hot," Spencer said. "I know she is." Smirking, Spencer walked away to his girlfriend who was talking to Aaron and David.

"So y/n, Spencer told us you are a teacher," Aaron said.

"Yeah I'm an English teacher, I have a Phd in Literature," you responded.

"Spencer never told us you had a Phd," David said.

"I don't talk to many people about it, especially since I'm a high school English 9 teacher," you said quietly.

"Well, y/n, I have a seven year old, and he is not the best reader," Aaron began. "Maybe you could help him out."

"I would love to, but don't be too worried if he's not a strong reader, all kids read at different paces," you said feeling Spencer's arm around your waist. "Not everyone is Spencer Reid. I couldn't even read properly until I was nine, all the words were jumbled because I was so stressed about reading properly."

"Well lets eat," David said. "The pasta is going to get cold." You all walked over to the table sitting down. You sat between David and Spencer.

"So y/n," JJ began passing around a salad bowl. "How did you and Spencer meet?"

"Well we were guest lecturing at the same class," The team looked at you strangely. "Because of my background in literature, I helped sex crimes with a case that had to do with poetry." They nodded in understanding. "So we were lecturing and after the class we were talking because Spencer made this super silly joke about Romeo and Juliet, which thinking about it was a very strange dark humor. But I found it funny so I asked him to coffee and basically we talked about books and why a high school English teacher was helping the FBI." The team smiled.

"I'm glad he met you y/n," Derek said. "I haven't seen Pretty Boy this happy in a long time."

"Pretty boy?" you asked.

"It's a nickname I made up for him when he first joined the team," Derek said as the team snickered.

"So that must be why Spencer got super weirded out when I started calling him that," you said.

"No way, pretty girl calls pretty boy, pretty boy?" Penelope asked.

"Yes and no," you explained. "Now it is mainly a joke, but I do say it because it is very true." The team laughed while Spencer blushed profusely.

y/u/n

Liked by 5,759

finally got to meet spencer's work friends

comments

drreid: They love you almost as much as I do.

penelope_meow: YOU ARE AMAZING.

jenniferjareau: We need to have a girls night! SOON!

drreid

Liked by 102

pretty girl

comments

y/u/n: I love you

derek1118morgan: she almost may be prettier than you pretty boy

emily_prentiss: if you two ever end things let me know @y/u/n

y/u/n

Liked by 5,978

note to self: always let Jennifer Jareau pick out your outfits for brunch with the girls

comments

jenniferjareau: this fit >>>>

drreid: You look amazing as always

rossidave: Your Italian is showing

y/u/n

Liked by 6,423

spence finally got the guts

comments

drreid: Can't wait to spend forever and a day with you

aaronhotchnerBAU: Congratulations y/n, Jack and I are excited for you both

penelope_meow: You need to tell me all about it sunshine

jenniferjareau: Me too!

emily_prentiss: Me three!

y/u/n: Girls night tonight?

derek1118morgan: Congrats y/n, glad you said yes because I was hyping Spencer up all week

rossidave: Congratulations y/n, talk to me if you need help with planning the wedding. My back yard is a great and free space.

y/u/n

Liked by 6,003

this is the only photo from the bachlorette party that we have a decent amount of clothes on

comments

emily_prentiss: BEST NIGHT EVER

jenniferjareau: Never let me drink that much again

penelope_meow: I NEED to see those other pictures

derek1118morgan: So do I baby girl

drried: No you don't Derek

drreid: Hopefully it was your best last night out as a y/l/n

y/nreid

Liked by 6,543

happy

comments:

drreid: I love you

drreid: You looked absolutely beautiful today

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Hi! I really appreciate your fanfic about Ruby and Tommy, so can you write another one to me, please?! Ruby got sick, maybe some dangerous illness, and Tommy worried about her. Angst& tragic. You can make a happy end, but I think a realistic and sad end will be cooler

Sweet Annon, I tried. I really did.

My daddy issues and eldest daughter syndrome kicked in full swing and I just couldn't handle a sad ending.

Disclaimer* I don't know anything about Romani traditions or magic. I just described how my grandma would have cared for me when I was really sick.

Hopefully you still enjoy this!

Rating: Teen? Descriptions of a really sick kiddo and suicidal thoughts. Other than that its just a lot of family love.

As soon as the words were out of her mouth panic made its home in my bones. A sickness I haven't felt since Charlie was taken. I hung up the phone, and made my way out of the office.

Ruby was sick, real sick.

Lizzy only called after the second doctor had come by telling her that it didn't look good. Fucking wish she would have called me before calling the fist fucking doctor. I slammed the car door with unnecessary force and tore down the road.

I’d been up with the kid all fucking night, a day without me by her side and her fever and sore throat has turned into a severe fucking illness. The fuck did they do to her while I was gone? Put her out in the rain? Drop her in the cut?

Shouldn't have left her there alone with them, shouldn't leave anyone in this bloody family alone.

I stormed into the house running past all of the maids. Lizzy was in our bed next to her, crying softly. That was another sign that this was actually happening, the sky could be falling, gates of hell opening, that woman wouldn't bat an eyelash.

“What the fucking hell happened?!” I whispered wishing my tone was calmer than it was.

“They say she’ll only get worse. They think it's scarlet fever or something. Tommy I don't know what to do, they say the hospital wont help. They gave her everything they had, told me just to watch and wait.”

I wracked my brain for ideas. Fuck sakes, of course this fucking happens when Polly was gone. Esme would be the next person I’d need. I ran out of the room to the closest phone.

“Esme Ruby’s sick and the doctors say she won't get better, possibly scarlet fever or something. I need you to get here and just do some fucking magic or something and John needs to drive out and get Polly.”

“Oh my god, okay okay, I'll come straight over - JOHN!-” She screamed before the phone hung up. I pressed my head against the wall before going back into the room. I kicked my shoes off and picked her small body up off the bed, ignoring Lizzy’s protests.

“Daddy?” She said softly.

“I’m here now, love.” I placed her on my chest wrapping my arms around her. I leaned back against the pillows, she settled in with a little sigh and I ran my hands through her curly hair. Kids should be held when they are sick.

“Daddy I’m cold.” I pressed my hand against her forehead, as suspected she was way too hot for the blankets to be on her.

“I know babe, but you're too hot. We have to keep you cool.” She made a displeased sound and I shushed her. The fact that she settled so easily made a fresh wave of panic flood my veins.

“Tommy, what's the plan?” Lizzy asked sniffling.

“Esme’s on the way and John is going to get Polly.” I responded lowly not wanting to excite her.

“Your big plan is to cure this with gypsy magic?” She scoffed, and I gritted my teeth.

“I'm going to call for a third opinion. Get someone from London” She hurried out of the room.

I just laid there holding her. The logical part of my brain told me to enjoy this while it lasts. Listen to her little heart beating before it was lost forever.

“Hey Rube” she opened her eyes and responded with a hum. “I just want you to know that I love you. And that everything’s gonna be alright.”

“Luv u daddy” She said her voice thick with sleep. I tried to focus on my breathing. Every time I closed my eyes I was either watching grace die, or back in that fucking hole. Suddenly my mind focused on where all the guns and opium were in the house, slowly churning out a plan for what was going to happen if she didn't pull through. I couldn't survive another death, no one really survived the death of their child anyway. I focused on pulling her hair into a little braid like Lizzy taught me once.

Soon enough Esme rushed through the door, out of breath carrying a massive bag in her hands.

“Look love, Aunty Esme’s here.” She made a sound like she was trying to say hello. Esme came down and kneeled on the floor so she was eye level with Ruby.

“Hey love. This isn't gonna be fun, but you need to be tough okay? You're going to save yourself alright?” Esme said in a serious voice.

I watched Ruby look at her with big eyes, surprised that she was talking to her like that. She gave a little nod. I was just relieved to see her even the slightest bit more responsive.

Esme went into the bathroom and filled it with lukewarm water and herbs.

“Now go get into the water for me love. It's going to hurt but you just have to push through.” Esme then flew out of the room with jars in her hands.

I striped down to my underpants and got her undressed. I stepped into the water, it was just slightly above room temperature. The herbs made the air heavy, suddenly my nose was running, eyes stinging slightly.

“You ready babe?”

“I'm ready.” She said and I sat down in the bath leaning back so just her shoulders and head poked out. I saw the silent tears run down her red cheeks.

“Aw love, you're doing so good. So proud of you.” I ran my hand along her back soothingly. Her teeth were soon chattering, body shivering and the panic was back in full swing. I rested my head against the tile and felt my own tears start to fall. I'm in a tea bath with you and you're about to die.

Esme was suddenly back, surprised to see me in the tub with her. She added some more stuff to the water and couldn't help but admire her hustle.

“Here love, gotta sit up and drink this down.” I sat up and took the cup from Esme, sticking my knuckle in it to check the temperature, a habit I hadn't dropped since Charlie was born. Ruby took the cup and took a sip, her face wrinkled and she gave Esme a sour look that almost had me laughing. Still she drank it down. I took the cup and she put her head back on my chest.

“Good job, love” I kissed the top of her head. She settled again, nose running. Esme got her a cloth to blow her nose.

Esme sat against the side of the tub speaking prayers. I closed my eyes and silently joined her. Polly opened the door, there was a softness in her eyes at the situation.

“Looks like you got it all in the tub.” She stuck her fingers in the water. “Good temperature. She just needs some -”

“She drank it.” Esme interrupted and Polly gave her an impressed nod. Then she put her hand on the top of Ruby’s head.

“Hi Polly.” She whispered.

“Hello love” after a moment Polly looked at me “She’s going to be fine. Let’s get her bundled up.” Polly stuck her arms out and I had to fight with myself to hand her over. Polly was wise enough not to comment.

“That’s it love, go potty first.” Polly helped her over the toilet and I closed my eyes. They took her out of the room and I got myself out of the tub. Hating every second she was away from me. I toweled off and covered myself going out to the closet. I watched them wrap her in soaked fabric from a pot. I changed into some Pajamas. I came out and saw her all bundled up in a soft cotton quilt. Polly held her against her chest, singing to her softly. Esme had left the room.

I laid on the bed next to Polly. I reached up and held on to Ruby's foot poking out of the blanket. We laid there for a long while, all the strange smells and Polly’s voice felt so familiar, times I had no memory of. Suddenly I thought of my mother. If little Ruby did pass tonight I hope my mother would come to collect her. I guess in the end it didn't matter, I'd be right behind her, no way she was going anywhere alone.

“Tommy she’s going to pull through.” Polly said softly as if she knew what I was thinking. I hated it when she did that.

Esme came through with a small bowl and a cup in her hand. Polly helped her drink it down.

“That’s fucking awful” She said with the same sour look as earlier. All of us let out a little laugh.

Esme came up on the bed with the bowl and sat cross legged in between Polly and I.

“Here I’ll show you.” She grabbed Ruby’s other foot and started rubbing with her thumbs. I sat up and did the same. Lizzy came through and sat on the bed leaning against my back. John and Arthur came and sat in the arm chairs next to the fire. It was oddly intimate and refreshing to see my family come together so close.

Eventually Ruby was out like a light. No one slept but her that night. Everyone took turns holding her, checking her breathing, giving people a rest. I couldn't bring myself to leave her side, terrified she would pass in someone else's arms.

Ruby was a Shelby. She pulled through the night, Polly made her broth for breakfast. Everyone was happy to hear her little protests at the yucky soup. Esme talked her into eating it, and I realised she must have some kind of magic powers. She whipped all of John's kids into shape pretty quick once joining the family.

After a few more days she was back in full swing. I was worn out enough I took the last couple days of the week off to stay home with her.

Keeping her well bundled I took her outside in the fresh air walking through the woods with Charlie. Watching her struggle to keep up with him as he pointed out various plants he knew, I finally felt myself relax. We found a nice log to sit on and shared some mint leaves.