#maybe i should like find a place to leave a review or something

[teenagefeeling]

for some reason this morning i am filled with rage at my former psychiatrist. like yeah, she fucked up my life for years and it had lasting physical and psychological effects that i'm still dealing with the consequences of, but like it was years ago wtf am i supposed to do about it now? how is this anger productive?

[nerinefy]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ A LIFE WITH HIM ; FT. some OVERBLOT BOYS .𖥔 ݁ ˖

★ synopsis: how will they be like as your partner?

★ details: you/yours | headcanon | too much fluff | 1,000+ words

✦ ┊RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

PHYSICAL AFFECTION (GIVING & RECEIVING)

★ not too big on PDA, so expect that the most skin-to-skin contact you two can have outside is the occasional hand-holding. he likes it when he's the one initiating the gesture whenever you two are out and about since he still can't help but have the need to be in control even after his overblot (like leading you to places and making sure ur still by his side).

★ he doesn't admit it but he loves when you link your arm with his and nuzzle your face into his shoulder (although he will still scold you if you do it) ESPECIALLY when he's in a mood and is almost about to off the heads of some rule-breakers OR maybe when you're giving too much attention to a rando because he may not admit it but he's greedy and wants your eyes on him only (but he's a gentleman and will never speak about it, only dismissing his inappropriate thoughts.)

★ in private though he's just a snuggly little cuddle bug, even more so if he's tired or stressed or most likely both. so many responsibilities are piled up on his plate just in his second year so the only thing that keeps his shit together is your warm and loving embrace. HE'S A SMALL SPOON. NO BACKSIES, okay maybe he's a big spoon if you're the one who needs a little more loving.

GIFT-GIVING

★ i mean from the name itself ROSEHEARTS, roses are his go-to (he's corny but we love him like that), but if you have a different favorite flower then he'll get those, and if you're allergic he'll try to make those handmade ones! although a little sloppy, pretty successful for his first try. overall he likes giving the traditional gifts like bouquets, stuffed animals, and chocolates :) but if he gets to know you more it might be more personal and intimate stuff that fits your tastes, and of course, should be of use to you too.

THE SIMPLE THINGS

★ whenever you're stuck on a study session late at night he likes inviting you to take a break and brew some tea for you. he'll even share some sweets that Trey gave him. although he won't leave you alone after he finds you like that, instead he pulls out some reviewers he has and helps you work on whatever you find difficult to understand.

WORD AFFIRMATIONS

★ "Our race is nowhere near finished, so please my rose, stay strong, I know you can and want to do so. I am always by your side okay?"

✦ ┊LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

PHYSICAL AFFECTION (GIVING & RECEIVING)

★ hugs, hugs, and MORE HUGS. just lots of hugs! doesn't matter if he's a big spoon or small spoon, he needs you by his side 24/7, 365. he just has to have his scent all over you u know, half-breed things. this man is just lazing around anywhere so might as well bring his favorite pillow with him. and no, he doesn't care if you have class and need to take a test worth half your grade, he needs you more! ★ of course, he doesn't have long-ass hair for nothing, go be his peasant and brush it, most preferably with your fingers if he's having a good hair day. your soft fingers massaging his scalp are quite literally going to take him to heaven, and he'll have no regrets tho so go pocket something if that happens. ★ he doesn't pick favorites when it comes to giving and receiving physical affection, he just wants his hands all over you and if the job is done then he's good.

GIFT-GIVING

★ honestly man, i don't know with him. he's raised right so of course he gives you stuff like flowers and so on. on the other hand tho he isn't the type to know what you like and will most likely just ask you what you want him to give you. maybe he'll just take you to go fetch them at the store itself if he isn't sure. but on special days like your birthday or your anniversary (assuming ya'll would last more than a week), he actually tries and it's pretty sweet and more elaborate.

THE SIMPLE THINGS

★ whenever he's forcibly on a call with his brother, which surprisingly is turning into a regular thing, if Farena asks about how he's doing, Leona likely ends up only yapping about you. i mean yeah he missed his last test and he spent his allowance for the month in a week but does Farena know about the time you were mumbling Leona's name in your sleep? he will deny it if he's called out for doing so. NO, HE DID NOT PERIOD. *hangs up*

WORD AFFIRMATIONS

★ "Whatever you're thinking of, don't. It's stupid. As much as I don't like admitting this, you're strong, and even more than most beastmen if you set your mind to your goals."

✦ ┊AZUL ASHENGROTTO

PHYSICAL AFFECTION (GIVING & RECEIVING)

★ man's busy all the time so it's hard to get your hands on him. even if he's not busy, he will sprint for his life just to get away from you. not that he dislikes your affection, the concept is just a little foreign to him. give him time to adjust, then you'll find out how soft his tentacles are! ★ when he's actually busy and working on stuff in his office (when the time comes and he's comfortable) he likes it when you flop yourself on his lap and nuzzle into his chest. he feels guilty that he can't give full focus to you since his schedule truly is packed but you inviting yourself into his office at late hours of the day just to snuggle comforts and assures him in some way. he'll definitely find more time for you, he's trying his best lol! ★ overall he isn't one to initiate the touching even if he's fully vulnerable for you. idk too ask him about it. he's just happy you like him enough that you cling unto him. but if you ask him he may favor hand-holding the most, it may be the least contact but feeling your hand on his is enough for him.

GIFT-GIVING

★ HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. i'm not even kidding, even when it's no special day he'd likely buy stuff just because it reminded him of you or when you coincidentally need it which is pretty cute but can be a little creepy.

THE SIMPLE THINGS

★ i saw a fic back then that said he gives you some coupons and by some i mean a TON in hopes that you visit the Lounge and that is absolutely true. though he forgets you two are together and he can ask you nicely to come over but who can say no to 30% off all menu items?

WORD AFFIRMATIONS

★ "My, how could I ever deny what that cute head of yours and those strong arms of yours can do! You are a valuable asset to me...what kind of asset? Well...it's up to you to decide."

✦ ┊JAMIL VIPER

PHYSICAL AFFECTION (GIVING & RECIEVING)

★ he's also busy, honestly might be one of the, or if not the busiest of all of these guys. when you two have time to be together tho, even if he's knocked out and drained, he'll never show it. but i can say that's only during the early stages of your relationship with him and depending on how you two met. he likes to present himself in his best state and he really can't do so with his schedule so eventually he just melts and the next thing you know he's hugging you from the back any chance he gets and you feel his heartbeat turn slower by the minute. ★ for those moments that he sees you out and about though he likes patting your cute lil head, no matter what your height is. though he is trying to be a little adventurous with you so he leans in to caress your hair gently and suddenly you're met with a quick smooch. (only when there's no one else in sight so yeah adventurous my ass) ★ like leona, he loves it when you play with his hair, and he does not like to admit it. just remember to keep it neat and use a brush while you're at it, plus a facial and maybe a massage because i know those muscles are TIGHT.

GIFT-GIVING

★ his gifts reek of HANDMADE. idk he has those vibes. handmade flowers, or some origami of cute animals, but he likes giving you handwritten letters the most. it can be hard to communicate his real feelings to you so writing is a way for him to freely and easily express those feelings.

THE SIMPLE THINGS

★ whenever he cooks for Kalim or just whenever he cooks, he suddenly has some leftovers that he decided he'd pack up for you. can't bring himself up to say that excuse so he just gives it to you and walks away.

WORD AFFIRMATIONS

★ "Whining is useless. Do the things you're good at, stop worrying about the things you can't. Oh, I'm sorry...did that come off too harsh?"

��� author's note: congratulate me for coming back. BASK IN MY GLORIOUS PRESCENCE. (i missed u guys too ig)

©nerinefy 2023-2024 all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, repost, or translate.

[its-avalon-08]

why did you leave me (cl16)

part3!

multipart story! prev || next

summary : charles and y/n have always been best friends. but y/n has been in love with him forever. when charles starts dating a new girl, out of respect y/n distances herself. but how much is too much?

✦ pairing - charles leclerc x female reader

Charles sat on his couch, scrolling through his phone, his heart feeling unusually heavy. Camille was sitting next to him, engrossed in her own world. He had tried to ignore the gnawing feeling that something was missing, but it was becoming impossible to ignore.

"Hey, Camille," he said, trying to keep his voice light. "Do you want to watch that new movie tonight? The one with all the great reviews?"

Camille looked up, her expression indifferent. "Sure, I guess. But I was thinking we could go to that new club instead. It's supposed to be really exclusive."

Charles forced a smile. "Yeah, we can do that."

As Camille continued talking about the club, Charles' mind wandered to Y/N. He missed how effortlessly they used to hang out, how they didn't need to impress each other or go to fancy places to have a good time.

A memory flashed in his mind: he and Y/N, curled up on the couch, watching an old black-and-white movie. She had insisted on watching it because it was a classic, and he had reluctantly agreed. But by the end, he was hooked, and they had spent hours discussing the film’s nuances.

"Y/N, how do you always find these hidden gems?" he had asked, genuinely impressed.

She had laughed, her eyes sparkling. "It’s all about the story, Charlie. You just have to give it a chance."

He glanced at Camille, who was now talking about which outfit she should wear to the club. He tried to engage, but his heart wasn’t in it. He missed Y/N's spontaneous adventures, the way she always made the simplest moments feel extraordinary.

Another memory surfaced: their late-night drives with the windows down, singing along to their favorite songs at the top of their lungs. They never needed a destination; the journey itself was the adventure.

"Remember that time we got lost and ended up at that little diner?" he had said to Y/N, laughing.

Y/N had grinned. "Best pancakes ever. Totally worth it."

Charles sighed, feeling a pang of longing. He looked at Camille, who was now busy on her phone, and he felt a sharp contrast. He tried to shake off the feeling, but it lingered, growing stronger with each passing day.

Later that evening, as they were getting ready to go out, Charles' phone buzzed. He glanced at it, hoping it was Y/N, but it was just a notification. He realized he hadn’t heard from her in days. The absence was like a void, growing wider and more painful.

"Camille, have you noticed that Y/N hasn’t been around much?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

Camille shrugged, not looking up from her mirror. "Maybe she’s just busy. People get busy, Charles."

"Yeah, I guess," he replied, but his heart wasn’t convinced.

He remembered the countless times Y/N had dropped everything to be there for him, whether it was to celebrate a victory or console him after a loss. Her presence had been a constant in his life, a source of comfort and understanding that he now realized he had taken for granted.

"Do you want to invite her tonight?" Camille asked, her tone slightly annoyed.

Charles shook his head. "No, it’s okay."

As they arrived at the club, the noise and the crowd felt overwhelming. Charles found himself wishing he was anywhere else, preferably in a quiet corner with Y/N, sharing a deep conversation or a comfortable silence.

He excused himself and stepped outside, needing some fresh air. The night was cool, and he leaned against the wall, pulling out his phone again. He stared at Y/N’s contact, his thumb hovering over the call button.

Another memory hit him: the time Y/N had sensed he was feeling down and showed up at his door with his favorite ice cream and a goofy movie to cheer him up.

"You know me too well," he had said, his heart warming at her thoughtfulness.

"That’s what best friends are for," she had replied with a wink.

Charles sighed, feeling a deep ache in his chest. He missed her so much it hurt. He realized that Camille didn’t understand him the way Y/N did, and he felt a growing sense of frustration and loneliness.

When he returned to Camille, she was dancing with a group of friends. She waved him over, but he hesitated. The distance between them felt insurmountable, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that something fundamental was missing.

That night, as he lay in bed, his thoughts were consumed by Y/N. He knew he had to do something, but he didn’t know what. All he knew was that he couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine when his heart was screaming for the one person who had always been there for him.

And with that, he made a decision. He would talk to Y/N, find out what was going on, and try to fix whatever had gone wrong. Because losing her completely was something he couldn’t bear to face.

taglist : @hiireadstuff @starz4me1 @f1fantasys @aundercover @ohthemisssery @ggaslyp1 @hadids-world @matcha---matcha @f1luvrur @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @timmychalametsstuff @janeh22 @ironmaiden1313

[nickistuffs]

Chimed encounters

Pairing: Harry x Designer Reader (curvy or plus-sized—whatever you feel they should look like. This is my preference 😌)

Summary: Meet-cutes that's all

Warnings: None, just fluff.

Word Count: 965

✨masterlist✨ read the rest of Harry x Designer Reader there

...

You wake up to the blaring sound of your alarm at 6 a.m., groaning as you reach over to turn it off. A sigh escapes you as you mentally prepare for the busy day ahead.

Reluctantly peeling yourself away from the warm cocoon of your blanket, you head to the bathroom, splashing cold water on your face to shake off the remnants of sleep. After finishing up, you move to your closet, opting for something simple yet comfortable: a white boat-neck tee, grey jeans, and your trusty black Sambas.

The perk of being a freelance designer is the casual dress code—no rigid rules to follow. Quickly, you apply a touch of makeup, grab the closest jacket within reach, and stuff your essentials into your bag.

Before leaving, you glance around your apartment, double-checking for anything you might have missed—keys, phone, or plugs left in sockets. Satisfied, you lock the door behind you and make your way to the lobby. Your bike, chained under the stairs, waits for you. You place your bag in the basket, plug in your earphones, and brace yourself for the chaos of city commuting. But first, breakfast and coffee.

The familiar chime of the door greets you as you step into the quiet café you frequent. Felice, the owner, waves from behind the counter.

“Good morning, Y/N! The usual, or are you feeling adventurous today?” she teases with a warm smile.

“Morning, Felice. Surprise me,” you reply, smiling back at her excitement.

Felice and her husband, Jay, have been experimenting with new recipes to add to their menu, often using you as their unofficial taste-tester. Not that you mind—every dish is a delightful creation.

“It’s on the house! I don’t want your money, Y/N,” she calls out as she disappears into the kitchen.

You chuckle at her generosity and quietly slip a twenty-pound note into the tip jar, knowing she’ll try to give it back if she notices.

Finding a vacant table, you sit down and pull out your phone to review your agenda and upcoming meetings. Alongside it, your commonplace journal—a collection of ideas, sketches, and plans—makes an appearance. Pen in hand, you begin jotting down thoughts as the café’s calm atmosphere settles over you.

The door chime rings again, signalling another customer. Glancing up briefly, you spot a tall man wearing a cozy brown cardigan. You don’t think much of it until Felice’s voice cuts through the air.

“Harry! Your order’s almost ready. Jay’s just finishing it up now,” she says casually.

Your heart skips a beat. Harry Styles? You quickly lower your gaze, pretending to be engrossed in your notebook.

Felice calls your name, and you head to the counter to retrieve your breakfast.

“Thank you! Oh, this looks amazing. What’s in the sandwich?” you ask, marvelling at the colourful creation.

“Lettuce, tomatoes, two types of sauce, and pan-fried teriyaki-marinated tofu,” she explains proudly.

Before you can respond, the man beside you—Harry Styles—chimes in.

“That sounds delicious. Is it available?” he asks, his voice as smooth and familiar as you’d imagined.

You freeze momentarily, your mind scrambling to process the fact that Harry Styles is standing right next to you.

Felice, unfazed, answers, “Of course, Harry. Yours will be out in a minute.” She heads back into the kitchen, leaving you rooted in place.

Grabbing your tray, you quickly return to your table, doing your best to avoid eye contact with him. Meeting famous people always makes you nervous, and being an introverted designer who occasionally deals with high-profile clients doesn’t help. Plus, it doesn’t hurt—or maybe it does—that you’re a huge fan of his work.

You take a deep breath, push your straw into your iced coffee, and focus on your sandwich. To distract yourself, you doodle mindlessly in your journal.

From the corner of your eye, you notice Harry taking a seat at the table adjacent to yours. You keep your eyes down, bouncing between your coffee cup, your phone, and your sandwich, trying to act nonchalant.

When Felice calls his name to pick up his order, you resist the urge to look at him, knowing it would only make you more flustered.

...

Finishing your sandwich, you glance at your watch and realize it’s time to head to your first meeting. As you pack up your things, you risk a quick look in his direction. He’s taking a bite of his sandwich, seemingly enjoying it. For a brief moment, you consider asking if he likes it, but you bite your tongue and focus on leaving.

With your coffee in hand, you walk to the door, unhook your bike, and start to prepare for your ride. The door chime rings again, and you assume it’s Felice coming to say goodbye.

“Sorry, Feli, I’m in a rush—my meeting’s in 30 minutes,” you say quickly, only to stop mid-sentence when you see him.

It’s Harry Styles, holding your journal in his hand.

“Hey, you left this on the table. I didn’t want you to forget it,” he says, his voice kind and warm.

You freeze, your hand reaching out to take the journal. As your fingers brush against his, you feel a jolt of awareness that makes your cheeks flush.

“Oh, thank you. I didn’t realize I left it,” you mumble, embarrassed.

An awkward silence lingers as you both stand there. You avert your gaze, fumbling to place your bag in your bike basket.

“Thank you again, truly, but I need to go,” you say, finally hopping onto your bike.

“No worries. Have a safe ride,” he replies, smiling softly.

You meet his gaze for a fleeting moment before looking straight ahead, your heart racing as you pedal away.

As you turn the corner, you can’t help but replay the interaction in your mind, blushing harder than ever.

... I felt so giddy when I was writing this. aaaAAAHHH!

[saeun]

ꪆ୧ ── WISH UNATTAINABLE ┊ A MERE DREAM ﹑ HSR ⤿ starring: boothill ◟ sunday ◟ dr. ratio.

꒰ a player's mission ﹢ ding! quest(s) unlocked. to obtain a reward of 100 stellar jades, knock yourself out with missions involving your favourite! don't get caught up in the dream though.

𖧷 · love, ‘su: i clearly had an idea & needed to jot it down before i forgot about it (old draft i wrote when i js was fresh into hsr bear w me 😢)

COSMIC SPLENDOR AND MERITED PRAISES ⟡ siobhan’s revealed that someone's here for you, insisting for you to not be a killjoy and come meet him.

“drink's on me sweetheart, knock ya'self out,” boothill slides the cocktail at you, giving his signature smirk as its free side dish.

you're not quite sure what you expected, but boothill being a bartender wasn't one of them. actually — it's believable when you think about it.

when siobhan sent you those messages, your mind went to either gallagher or aventurine. (un)fortunately, your guess was wrong. you are now a taste-tester and subjected to subtle flirting? a win is a win.

boothill puts a hand on his hip. he mixed the drink gracefully with siobhan's aid, it's bound to be perfect — hopefully.

“what's it called?” you asked, turning the glass around to appreciate the red and orange ombre. it reminds you of someone, but you can't put a finger on it.

“didn't think that far into it.” he shrugs. “you can name it, sweetheart.”

“i can name it sweetheart?”

“no, i meant... well, why the fuck not.”

you're sure you heard a disappointed sigh from him. maybe it's the alcohol? whatever, it tastes good. the drink's sweet, but it leaves a bitter aftertaste — if that makes sense. it's so sweet that you keep sipping, yet it's so bitter that you're reminded it's alcohol and not juice. a perfect balance.

gently placing the glass down, you slid it towards boothill, “another glass please, gentleman.”

“right away, darlin’,” he accepts your request, refilling your glass with the sweetheart special. this time, he adds a little edible glitter in the mix to spice up the aesthetic.

the glass is once again slid back to you. the only difference is a shine to the liquid. the new beauty to it can make even argenti fall to his knees to worship it (he worships anything beautiful).

“it's so good i can kiss you for it,” you mindlessly reply, licking your lips from the excess liquid.

goodness, do you want him to overheat? is the way to defeat a galaxy ranger a compliment without thought put into it?!

“pfft— uh— well—” he sputters, unable to form a proper sentence yet.

a few coughs later, he regains his ability to speak, “it's just that good ain't it, darlin’?”

“you're the best and i need you in the express to make fifteen of these,” with desperation in your voice, you lean over to hold his hand. it's cold, but not cold enough to make you back away.

“i'll be right with ya!”

THE INTERPRETATION OF DREAMS ⟡ you received an anonymous message urging you to come to penacony. it felt like a scam, but the messages were too prim and proper to be one.

hmm, something isn't right. you can feel it in your bones. either you're experiencing side effects of being on cleaning duty, or you're being hunted down. has your excellence finally exceed you to the point where you've appeared on someone's hitlist? maybe.

staring at the message on your phone, you squint at it before moving your head away. you must be careful or else you'd be affected by its ominous energy.

there's only one logical decision to make: find dan heng and let him decipher a possible hidden code in the messages.

“dan heng, i need you!” you exclaimed, opening his room's door with a force that should only be reserved for battles.

“did you clean your manners out too?” sighing, dan heng closes the book he's reviewing.

“i think i'm being kidnapped,” ignoring his snarky comments, you enter his room, showing him the pile of messages.

> Hello, (y/n). I trust that you've been well during your trips.

> Have you decided on whether you'll return to Penacony? If not, I hope that you come soon.

> There is something I wish to do with you.

> Meet me at The Reverie Hotel 10 system hours from when you reply. I shall accompany you directly instead of a regular staff.

> That is all. I'll keep the conversations for our meeting.

you shake your head, hugging your body in attempts to shield yourself.

“see! there's no way that isn't someone out to get me.”

dan heng falls silent. clearly, this is someone you've met before, but who? they haven't left any name, let alone a profile icon. there's only one way to find out and that's to reply.

“hand me your phone, i'll reply.”

...

have you been deceived? is dan heng in on this too? why would he reply? suspicion dominates over you. you slowly back away from his side.

“damn... they really do say your enemies are close.”

“that's now how it... whatever. just give me the phone so i can ask for their identity.” his tone's laced with disappointment. he's not surprised, but boy was he wrong for thinking you matured.

being left with no other choice, you surrender your phone and safety to him.

< Sorry, who are you?

< I'm sure we've met though.

“they're typing...” he mutters, leaning into your side so you can see the screen too.

> My apologies. I forgot to set my account.

> This is Sunday, head of the Oak Family.

“sunday?!”

“sunday!?”

this time you both were taken by surprise. out of everyone in penacony that would've sent you a text, he was the least expected. dan heng shoots you a pitiful look. he's pretty sure sunday's still on your hitlist.

“i am not going.”

“it's rude to ignore someone's request.”

“dan heng,” you began, folding your arms across your chest, “you can't make me go.”

in response dan heng simply nods. he walks out his room and into the main area. you're not sure what he did, but he came back to you lounging on his bed in five minutes.

you were already comfortable, with one knee up and a foot on the knee. you expected him to come back, but not with a trusted adult.

“are you serious?”

“himeko, (y/n)'s ignoring someone's request to meet.”

one corner of his mouth moves up. he knows he won this battle. snitching is the way to go, always.

and that's how you're now standing besides sunday. all stiff with nervous laughs, praying to whichever aeon that he doesn't use the telepathy punishment thing on you. it's game over and restart if he ever dares to.

sunday's as poise as ever — with a hand behind his back, he observes the view of oti mall below. it's bustling with life; the noise is enough to do all the talking. truly a one-sided comfortable silence.

“so... how's life been, sunday?” you tread carefully with your question and behaviour. you don't even make eye contact.

sunday smiles slightly, “it's been busy as ever. this is probably the only moment of peace in my schedule.”

and it's silent again. how do you continue a conversation with a bigshot? you ran your mouth with the supreme guardian of belobog but god forbid you're with the head of the oak family. scary.

cold sweat drops. you have got to keep the conversation going or you'll lose your mind in seven minutes.

“been getting into gambling with the slot machines lately. what about you?”

perfect. ten out of ten. a penacony-related addiction.

“i see you've picked up that ipc stoneheart's behaviour.”

okay, maybe it wasn't that perfect. and was that disappointment?!

it's silent again. you steal a glance of sunday and it did not help. he has a relaxed expression on his face. his chest rising and falling with every breath. is he truly comfortable with the silence? you're dying here.

a sigh leaves you. why not just speak your mind.

“to be honest, it's a little uncomfortable being so silent. i feel like i'm being watched by that large eye in the mall.”

sunday's head turns, his expression slightly changes.

“apologies, i did not notice. would you like to take a walk together?” he suggests, holding his palm out to you.

you place your hand in his, trying to hide the smile. you're finally going to do something instead of standing like an npc.

“yeah, sure.”

after your approval, you basically re-toured penacony. he even took you to his office. that's not even the biggest part. the huge wow factor here is that you were hand-in-hand with him. yes, hands intertwined with the most handsome man in penacony. someone should be jealous.

although his hand was gloved it still counts. the gloves are thin anyway — it was basically skin contact. had you known beforehand that sunday's hand was this manly you wouldn't have even complained to dan heng.

COSMIC SPLENDOR AND MERITED PRAISES ⟡ herta bothered you to return to her station, insisting that she needs your help. you reluctantly agreed, but didn't expect to meet the doctor you've been hitting on.

> Come. I need to experiment on you.

< Excuse me?!?

> Aeon stuff.

< Which Aeon is it?

< Herta?

< Hellooooo... Anyone there...?

> [Automatic reply] Hi, I'm currently unavailable, and won't be contacting you later.

< You've got to be kidding me.

> [Automatic reply] Hi, I'm currently unavailable, and won't be contacting you later.

a heavy sigh leaves you. new day, same old herta demanding your presence and going off the net. well, it's been a while since you've revisited herta's space station, and it doesn't hurt gaining new knowledge on aeons. hopefully it'd be quick... and that screwllum's there as well. out of the three, screwllum's the sole one that's gentle.

once you stepped foot in her office, you stepped right back out. seeing someone you've been avoiding to reply to their messages certainly isn't a good thing. the chances of the man you were testing your charisma on being with herta is low — incredibly low — but never zero.

“come here, (y/n).” a voice filled with authority calls for you who's standing to the side of the door.

you purposefully chose that position; since the doors are automatic, they'd immediately open if you were directly in front of it.

“no, thanks!” you yelled, preferring to stay where its safe from confrontations.

inside the office, herta folds her arms. the clock is ticking, and she doesn't want to lose interest before she can glimpse the secret of at least one aeon.

“just go get her. what're you standing there for?”

with a tone as blunt as that, ratio feels slightly offended, but he can't argue. she's right, he can simply bring you back inside the office.

confidentally walking towards the door, he steps out and immediately turns his head left. it was as he calculated: you were right there leaning against the wall, trying your best to act nonchalant while ignoring his obvious presence.

“don't act childish.” disappointment laces his voice, his folded arms shows it, too.

“whatever do you mean, doctor?” you smiled.

ratio's having none of it. he moves his position to stand in front of you, forcing you to look at him instead.

“your behaviour then and now is childish. get back in the office.”

“cut me some slack! do you think the courage i have over text translates to real life?” your defenses raise, poking his chest to enforce your point. “you're intimidating and handsome, dude. give me a break.”

a silence follows. the kind of silence that indicates you said something you definitely should've kept as a thought. nervously, you move your eyes to look at ratio's. the eye contact doesn't last long — like you said, he's intimidating (and handsome).

“tell me something i don't know.” ratio breaks the silence, grabbing your finger off his chest. “but that's not the point here, is it? we have something to do.”

mood: ruined. it's common knowledge to anyone who's been in a conversation with ratio that he's well aware of his visuals. compliments are nothing new to him — it's a shame he didn't act the way he did in your daydreams.

“gosh, you're so annoying.” a voice of defeat.

grumbling, you straightened your posture, making your way back to herta's office. ratio followed behind, observing the you walked. has someone walking always been attractive, or is it just because it's you? a question that he'll be pondering on until he finds a suitable answer.

“hey. you guys took too long. i don't wanna do it again,” herta complains the second she saw you two walk in.

[ultravioletbrit]

“museum” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 542 words

 

Part 2 of “flawed” microfic for those that requested!!

“French food, crème brûlée, the museum, ice-cream, tapas and the stars.”  

James once again finds Regulus in the library and sits down across from him.

“What?” Regulus questions the random string of words.

“Those are the reasons you should let me take you on a date.” James says trying to sound confident.

“There’s not much info in that list, now is there?” Regulus tells him.

“Well, you didn’t let me explain, now did you?” James fires back but immediately recoils when Regulus shoots him a glare. 

James is silent for a long moment, so Regulus prompts him to continue.

“So…?”

“Oh, right, so, I thought we could start with lunch at that fancy new French restaurant. And I know lunch may not seem as good as dinner, but I know you like to have a bigger meal for lunch and something smaller for dinner. And you love French food, but only when it’s really good, and based on my research this place is already getting rave reviews. And I hear the crème brûlée is to die for and that’s your favorite dessert.”

Regulus hums, doing his best to look uninterested while trying to keep his heart from beating right out of his chest. James did research? On things he knows Regulus likes? He tamps down a smile and urges James to continue.

“After lunch, I thought we could go to the art museum. And I know you’re a member and have been there countless times. But I also know you like to show people your favorite paintings and exhibits. And I love how passionate you get about the things you like, and I want to learn and listen and be able to appreciate the art like you do. And that will probably take more than one day, so I’m also trying to ensure more dates in the future. Plus, you have a beautiful voice that I could listen to for hours… Okay, the museum is starting to sound like it’s more for me, but I swear it’s for you.”

Regulus raises an eyebrow with what he hopes is a blank stare. He would go to that museum everyday if he could. And James wants to go with him? And learn about his passions? And listen to him talk endlessly about art? Regulus is trying very hard not to swoon.    

“After the museum, it’ll depend what time it is, I thought maybe we could get ice-cream and walk around town a bit. Or if it’s late enough, there’s this really amazing tapas place that I think would be perfect for dinner. Amazing food, but not too much. Then I’d love to walk you home through the park so we can look at the stars.”

James finishes and Regulus just stares at him. He’s not sure what would come out if he opens his mouth, but it would most certainly be undignified, so he remains silent.

“That’s it… That’s the date… or, well, the reasons I think you’d like to go on a date with me.” James says nervously.

Regulus says nothing, just packs up his books and stands to leave, stopping beside James on his way out.

“I’ll think about it.” And try as he might, he wasn’t able to hide his smile from James any longer. 

[wyzgguk]

04:25AM

• pairing: jungkook x f!reader; established relationship

• warnings: fluff fluff fluff, cursing, making out, suggestive jokes(?), jungkook has two hoop piercings in his mouth (this is a warning in itself), they are so in love for each other

• word count: 653 (this has not been reviewed!)

One of things to date jungkook is always to be prepared to go out with him, most of time in the dawn. Anyone who knows jungkook knows very well that he can turn day into night and that's not a problem for you, far from it, getting up early with jungkook is one of your favorite things in the world to do.

"Oh, they got new flavors of ramen" he says as he browses the shelves analyzing what might be the best late-night snack flavors.

"Don't you think we should choose something else instead? I mean ramen is good but we should change the menu every now and then" you answer quietly, concentrating on holding the basket with the other things your boyfriend has already picked out.

"But the spicy ones are so good, I'd like to try the one with the extra cheese, it looks good" ignoring what you just said, jungkook places the bag of ramen into the basket as you roll your eyes in response with a smile knowing you couldn't go against his childish tastes.

After picking up all the sodium-laden snacks that jungkook couldn't pass up, you focus on seeing which drinks would be best for the occasion. That is until you feel a pair of hands circle your waist and a head land on your shoulder.

"Your ass looked way too nice from this angle and I wouldn't want the cashier looking too much." before you could answer you notice jungkook's arms tighten a little more a kiss is deposited on your neck.

jungkook always says that the cashier at this convenience is "too nice" to you, which you know, but you can't help but laugh every time he's jealous of a guy who absolutely not your type.

"Do you really think he has an eye on me? he's almost asleep in his own drool" turning to hand the basket to jungkook to hold, you chuckle at the grimace your boyfriend makes as he bites his lip piercings, a habit you find attractive.

"I don't care, this guy should have known you haven't been available for a long time" the low tone of jungkook's voice and his arm wrapping around your waist again is enough to feel your lips being captured by his.

kissing jungkook is always the same feeling as when you first kissed, the thrill of feeling the familiar butterflies in your stomach every time and be as happy to know that you are his as he is yours. Maybe that's what being in love is all about.

Feeling his tongue roll across yours, you can't help but wrap your arms around his neck and pull the strands at the back of his neck. If you could describe heaven, it would definitely be like kissing jungkook.

"fuck, i really love your mouth" jungkook whispers still with his lips close to yours not missing the opportunity to leave a peck before pulling away.

"I know" is all you say before grabbing any drink, no longer bothering to see which one would go best with ramen.

You can't get let laugh just as jungkook places the basket on top of the counter, which ends up scaring the cashier who was actually sleeping in his own drool.

"Maybe we could watch a movie when we get home" you hear jungkook say as you focus on the beeping of the products.

"We should sleep after we eat"

"Why? it's still early" you look at your boyfriend who is smiling and giggling knowing if he wanted to he could make you stay up longer.

"You're a pain in the ass" you also know he can be a pain in the ass when he wants to be.

"You don't think I'm a pain in the ass when we're home" and that's enough to tell your boyfriend to shut up before that the conversation gets too intimate in front of the cashier.

•this is an original work by @elitekook, please do not copy, translate or anything like that :)

[thezombieprostitute]

Your Fixer: Breaking Point

Summary: A string of bad luck has you considering going back to your ex-husband.

Warnings: Manipulation, Mild violence. Please let me know if I missed any!

Part of the Yours AU

Fired. Again. You don't know what happened. Everything was going so well! You even had a wonderful performance review! But then one mistake, one upset high profile client, and it's all gone.

Maybe August was right. You'll never be anything without him.

You'd been so certain when you handed him the divorce papers. Certain he was holding you back, keeping you beneath him in every sense. And you had done well for the first several years after!

Then, after one party your luck seemed to turn south. The morning after your boss had complained about your behavior. You had no idea what he was talking about. Neither did your co-workers. But it didn't matter, you were fired.

Your coworkers were willing to be a reference and you were quick to find another job. Soon after, though, you were blindsided yet again. It felt like the universe was out to get you.

The library computers provided a good place to start looking into new jobs. You weren't sure you could find anything cheaper than the closet you call an apartment but at least you can find ways to cut spending while you applied to fast food jobs all day. Plus, if you stay put, you're less likely to have the urge to buy anything, right?

On the far end of the computer terminals, Jack O'Malley is discreetly keeping an eye on you. He'd been hired by your ex-husband to drive you back to him. "Preferably crawling, but I'll take what I get," Walker had sneered. He'd seen you at a work party and hated that you were doing so well without him.

Of course Jack took the job. So long as he prioritized Nick's work, he was allowed to take side jobs. Though only if they didn't break Nick's rules. This job was close to breaking a few of them but it straddled the line just enough Jack felt okay about it.

Well at least he used to feel okay about it. He'd heard those stories about abusers wanting to break strong people to make themselves feel better. He thought it was pop psych stuff. The abusers he'd seen went after weak people who wouldn't fight back. He had forgotten to account for kind people.

Jack looked into your history, and Walker's, in between bouts of getting you fired. You were a good person who'd had a bright future until Walker stepped in. The more Jack looked into Walker, the more he hated himself for taking the guy's money.

And now you're here at the library. He's remotely connected to your terminal, seeing everything you're doing. Even after all you've been through, even with tears in your eyes, you're still looking for ways to survive on your own. Jack can't help but be in awe of your strength.

He knows he should probably tell you what's been going on. Give you the evidence to take to the police or something. But the police aren't always reliable in these matters and Jack's never been good at the direct route.

The idea comes to him in a flash. He quickly writes up an email to Nick, attaching some of the worst evidence against August, leaving out some of his own influence on your current situation. He asks permission to help you out, keep you from going back to your loser ex.

After he sends the email he doesn't wait for permission. He posts an impromptu job opening that he'll make sure you find. Might get a few other unwanted applicants but that'll just make the interview feel more legitimate. He doesn't actually need an assistant, but that'll just make your job that much easier. And who doesn't love easy money?

He gets a reply from Nick:

Send Rogers to punch the mustache off him. If he wanted his wife to stay he should've treated her better.

Relieved Jack gets back to work making sure you find and apply for the fake job.

Jack returns to his apartment feeling good. You'd applied for the job and he was going to make sure to call you tomorrow about it. Maybe look up a few tasks you could do for him to make things feel legitimate.

He stops in his tracks when he sees Nick in his living room. With a knife.

"That request you sent me earlier, Jack? I know that wasn't the whole truth."

Jack's mouth is dry, his blood turned to ice.

"You shouldn't have taken this job. We're supposed to be making our people feel safe. Word gets out we forced a woman to go crawling back to her asshole ex, people lose faith in us. Maybe stop being so willing to pay us. Then it becomes a whole mess."

Jack nods, not trusting himself to speak.

"But, you're making amends in your own way," Nick cheerfully says, putting away his knife. "You're going to take very good care of this girl, right? Gonna fix all her problems?"

Jack nods, "yes, Sir."

"Good." Nick goes to walk by him but, faster than Jack can react, Nick kicks his leg, dropping him to his knees. He pulls Jack's hair, exposing his neck, and brings the knife back out, pressing it just enough to draw blood.

"You do something stupid like this again and I'll make sure you get made an example of," he growls. "Understood?"

"Yes, Sir," Jack whimpers.

Nick removes the knife and pushes Jack's torso onto the ground before walking out of the apartment.

Jack takes in a deep breath. Yeah, lesson learned.

Tagging:

@alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @irishhappiness; @kmc1989;

@lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63

[starillusion13]

Lost you forever pt.2

READ THE PART 1 ----> HERE!

Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Mature, Fluff

Warnings: crying, forgiveness, trust and hurt, regrets, self doubts, comfort, heartbreak, anxiety and new beginnings.

W.C: 4.6k (I swear you wont cry again)

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. This is a requested fic, initially I had no plans on making this but still some of you literally begged for it so here it is. Enjoy!

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

“Bye, have a nice day.”

Waving at your co-workers before leaving the workplace early, you make your way towards the nearby flower shop. Well, it’s really weird to go to buy flowers with an early break. No, it’s not for you but maybe for others. Glancing to every shop to your sides, walking through the footpath, you find different new things on display and finding some very cute and beautiful. You made a note to buy some of those later someday and keeping in mind to not miss out the flower shop for now. Arriving to the shop, a tug felt in your heart, something is aching in the corner, something is calling out for you, a missing piece of your life.

“How can I help you miss?”

You realised that unconsciously you have entered the glass doors and standing in front of the bouquet section. How precious they look when decorated so nicely! All the beautiful flowers arranged in a desired sequence with a touch of greenery with some leaves peeking out among the spaces. Each flower representing different purposes and each colour describing specific moods. And what should be appropriate for you?

“I want orchids.”

The florist smiles at you but before picking up the first flower, she turns towards you with a soft look on her face as if trying to decide on something.

“What colour do you prefer? I guess it must be red.”

“Pink.”

She pauses and blinks at you, “Aren’t you going to give it to your loved ones?”

“No…These are for myself. For me.”

Is it?

Do you have any loved ones though?

She nods her head while picking up the fresh ones from the baskets and delicately placing them on the wooden counter. Why should you take red colour when you don’t have that love, affection and beauty in your life? That’s why you opted for Pink. A colour that is stuck between the bright affection of red that’s burning for the beauty of love and the white silence filled with desires for a new hope in your life which is innocently waiting for a blooming change.

And the flowers orchid and lily with this colour is the perfect ones to resemble you.

To resemble your life.

In the days of missing them.

“Here, this is your flowers and it’s your total.”

Taking the bouquet in your hold, you send a small smile towards her and after paying, you leave the shop. While walking to your next location, you found a little note attached to the back of the bouquet and you quickly open it to read.

‘I know you are missing someone and that’s why I have put a stargazer lily in the middle, it’s red in colour. You may have missed it earlier but believe in yourself, everything is going to be alright if your desires and hopes are alive with you like a stargazer. A miracle should occur to you soon.’

Are you really missing someone? Maybe. Is there someone thinking about you too? You stare at the flower for a little longer before looking around to find the surrounding a bit too familiar, the beach where you come a lot and past memories flashes to you.

Memories of Them.

Wiping off the tears, you turn towards the direction of the café. The past few weeks were okay. Just like okay. You didn’t have anything special or extraordinary. Your café owner came back to the town and you shared everything possible to her of what happened in these past one month because you were feeling down. Even though she soothes you to take everything normally, there is something tingling in your heart, as if something is not smooth the way its visible.

“look, here you are zoning out again.”

You got startle with the voice from your side. Here, you are sitting with your favourite pastry and breads but you haven’t taken a bite instead just sucking the spoon like a child, eyes lost in your daydreaming. After you met them that day, you just can’t keep your mind off from thinking about them.

 What are they doing right now? Did they give up on you? Why does it matter to you? Are you thinking to go back to them? Maybe…

“No. I’m not.”

“Sure. So, have you thought about taking off for few days. Don’t worry I’m not kicking you out of the work, you are like my daughter and I want you to enjoy your young life.”

“Yeah I know, but I’m not sure if I want to go though.”

“of course, you will go. you will be having the time of your life so have a fresh mind and just go, have some fun but where are you going anyways?”

She rests her hands on her waist and wiggles her brows at you. You whine and glance out the glass wide windows, everybody is busy with their daily life and the time of noon is giving the café some free time to let you have some time for yourself. Her gaze falls on the flowers beside you, she smiles to herself before patting your head. You look up at her warm and welcoming look, “maybe I will go to the beach today. There’s a lot of thoughts on my mind.”

She nods and urges you to eat.

“who gave you these flowers?”

You frown and as you look towards the soft petals, you remember the note attached to it.

everything is going to be alright if your desires and hopes are alive with you like a stargazer.

“No one. I bought them earlier when I went out.”

She again nods and glances at the clock, the lunch break is over and soon the customers will start filling up the silent atmosphere. Before leaving you alone to finish your food, she made sure that you don’t start working again today or she will scold you in front of others. She is really treating you like a baby.

Maybe, you are still a baby.

They always pampered you like a baby.

You shook your head about their thoughts and proceed to eat.

.

.

.

The fresh winds hitting your face, closed eyes and a tiny smile resting on your face but still a tear line visible. The sun giving the warmth under the cold winter afternoon but still you need more.

A comforting warmth.

You place the flowers and bag by your side and spread your legs over the mat.

Eight flowers in total and the stargazer in middle.

There are not many people around you and few couples walking by the shore. A child not more than five years old is running after a ball stopped in front of you. She smiles at you and to your oblivion, a smile appears on your face.

“you are pretty.”

Before you could have replied her, she runs after the ball and laughing loudly.

“Why do you guys have to show yourself again?” you wipe the tears and continue, “I was okay without you…it was better to be alone.” You stare at the glistening waters of the sea, waves wiping off the shore like the wind, blowing away the sadness and surrounding you with a comforting blanket of air.

Suddenly, arms wrap around you, flinching to the sudden action but a whisper choked in emotion makes you stop before you could push away the arms, “y/n……I’m sorry.”

You press your lips tight, preventing any emotion to escape you. He still remembers you.

They remember you.

They didn’t give up.

“Woo…” your eyes close to feel him against your back, breath hitting your neck, goosebumps appearing on your exposed skin, pad of your thumb caress the smooth skin of his palms over your chest. Feeling his arms loosening around you, your fingers grip tighter on him, “please…don’t give up on me.”

“I will never give up on you.” His voice is almost like a whisper, hiding behind the desire to hear your voice again, his heart aching with different emotions. The emotions which are flooding inside him but he is still unaware of the actual feelings for the current situation.

Ears perk upon the sound of some shuffling around you, palms cupping your cheeks and caressing the dried teary cheeks, “don’t tell me to go away again.” Your eyes flutter open to look at the eyes in front of you, those innocent yet merciless ones which are brimmed with tears for you, “I can’t afford to lose you…again.”

“Jongho…why are you here?”

“we all are here, y/n…for you. I’m sorry, please give me one more chance.” His tears are slowly slipping down, your eyes followed it and slowly, you wipe the tears, “please don’t make me feel guilty that I am the cause for someone’s sadness.”

Wooyoung’s grip around you tightens with your words and you can feel many more presence around you, your inner voice fighting the urge to glance towards their direction. Facing the two youngest is easy for you and they were the ones who didn’t blame you like others but still they said enough to add the fuel to the fire. But the others, they blamed you, accused you, hurt you…do they even trust you?

“you can’t hurt me ever, y/n. just don’t leave me.” Jongho said and shifted forward but is still cautious with your comfort. You nod and he sit closer to you. Twisting your body a bit, you find the others standing close to you three but as soon as they caught you staring at them, they avert their eyes, not because they don’t want to look at you.

Because they can’t make a simple eye-contact with you. They are filled with guilt.

But one is still trying his hard not to take his eyes off to somewhere else, they are focused on you between Wooyoung’s arm. Hongjoong’s eyes are red and his tears still flowing down continuously. You have last seen them two months ago and after that, it’s been worst for you. You have cried every night because you wanted to run back to them, to hear their voices but you were sure that they have given up on you.

A tear-drop falls from your eyes while watching the leader.

“do you guys still don’t believe me?” even though you are staring at him, the question is directed to everyone. Your broken voice tugs at their heart, their love for you is killing them inside that how could they even blamed you.

“y/n…” the leader says your name, tasting the name to make himself believe that he is calling you and you are in front of him not like other times when he is thrashing around everything and screaming your name, killing people out of nowhere just in a hope to see you. He couldn’t bear to see the hatred in your eyes that day. He tortured himself everyday that he blamed his precious person, he hurt his only love for something that she never meant in any other way other than saving her family, even sacrificing herself. “I believe you…I’m sorry that I broke the trust. I am the one to be blamed.”

Removing the arms from around you, Wooyoung thought that you are pushing him away from you but you just shifted in your place to face the others properly. He still remains in the same position, close to you. The warm breeze blowing, tugging your locks behind your ears, you gesture them to come close. Few hesitate but the leader and Mingi are quick to kneel in front of you. Nobody around you would believe that they are the notorious mafia gang of the city but in this different country, they are like some teenage boys asking for forgiveness.

All having the same hurt look on their faces, their heart is aching with the feel that you are so near to them, they can feel your skin, your breath, your heartbeat but still…the emotions keeping them apart from each other. They always knew that you are very different from this mafia world, too innocent for this cruel life but still you gladly accepted them in your life, you made them part of your life, you became their sunshine in the cold darkness but they didn’t know how to protect the sunshine with the darkness all around.

“If I ask you, why do you guys deserve forgiveness? What will you say?”

They look towards each other, questioning the same question to themselves. Do they really deserve you after all that? You precisely looked at each one of them, waiting for a reply. That day you let everything out of you without even giving them a chance to speak anything. Once, they didn’t let you say anything and next time, you didn’t let them say anything. Huh! You all are same.

“you can’t reply.”

They frown at you but you nod. “you all still don’t know why you are here. For me? but for what?” you shake your head and sigh, “you want me to forgive you all. To go back to you and forget everything but have you thought one thing. Why the first thing that came to your mind was that I betrayed you?”

The question pierced their heart, reminding them how badly they hurt you that evening in the party. They want to delete that part forever but the more they try to forget it, the more its imprinting in their memory.

“Hongjoong…I know, you know this answer.” You nod at him, when he gulps and nod his head, the others are already expecting the known answer from him.

“because he was my dad.”

A small smile appears on your face. You are satisfied with the expected answer, your finger curl above your thigh.

“yes. You trusted him because he was your dad. If I were in your place, I would have done the same. You did what you should, Joong.”

Hongjoong’s eyes become big. He is shocked hearing you.

They are surprised with your sudden smile, and hearing you are appreciating him for what he has done.

“y/n?” Mingi has a visible frown on his face to which you chuckle.

“what? It proved me that he is capable of trusting his beloved ones even after they betrayed him. he was just being a child who stood against me for his father. But…” you wipe your tears and Wooyoung hugs your side, you pat his hand with a sad smile. He really misses you. He is the most clingiest one among them, even if you hurt this boy to the end, he will still hold your hand and look at you with the eyes of admiration. “but…I was hurt that you all didn’t mean to hear me for once.”

Mingi grabs your hand above your thigh and squeezes it, “I’m sorry, y/n. we really regret that we blamed you without hearing you. We didn’t let you explain. It was a big mission for us, we were so mad at everything and we didn’t think properly and in the end, we hurt you.”

“regret? Mingi…regret is a big thing. If I still go away today without forgiving any of you. Who will regret?” you lick your lips. Jongho shifted to your side, “please…don’t go away.”

“we both will regret. You will regret and blame yourself for hurting me and feel that you are the reason I am gone. Also, I will regret too because even when I got the chance to talk out everything, I still chose to hold my ego and distanced myself from you. I really cant stay without you.” You are completely crying at this point. Tears can’t be held back and Mingi quickly engulfs you in a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back, “y/n…I can’t stay without you too.”

His hands are shaking, maybe soon you will push him away like that day but you didn’t, instead you clutch his shirt and cried in his embrace. Jongho is patting your head with a sad smile on his face. He is glad that you still love them, hearing that your heart aches for them makes his heart warm with the love for you and he even blamed himself more for that day.

Retreating slowly from the hug, Wooyoung wipes your tears and smiles at you. You avert your gaze towards Yeosang who is always quiet with his feelings, you know he always wants to tell a lot but he keeps it to himself, fearing to mess up anything.

But when you send a smile towards him, he stared at you like a child and smiles back.

“do you hate me because I slapped you that day?”

He shakes his head, “no. I deserved it.”

You chuckle, “should I slap you again?” your joke makes him laugh a little. This is the first time he is laughing in these three years. He, literally all of them were emotionless and ruthless after they found you nowhere. Jungwoo really kept you hidden in another country, far away from them. Had it not been their mission there, they wouldn’t have met you again. Maybe, the fate has again brought you all together.

Seonghwa cups your face, eyes scanning everywhere until your hand grips his wrist with the assurance that he doesn’t need to worry. Still, he is hurt, “how are you, y/n?”

“Seonghwa, how are you? And how should I be?” he looks down but you make him look up, “look at me and tell me. I am not shouting today. I am patiently hearing you all. We should have done this long before but we both were scared. You were scared of your anger because you thought I betrayed you all and I was scared of you.”

You were scared of them.

They wont ever get this feeling off their heart that they made you feel scared of them.

“I was scared how Hongjoong was fuming in anger and accusing me in front of all the guests. I was scared of Mingi looking at me like I broke all of his trusts. I was scared of you how you were blaming me for everything and treating me like an enemy, my head was spinning. I couldn’t understand anything. I wanted to say so much but Yeosang shouted on me and threatened me. and…” lastly, you look at the two who has kept their distance from you, they still can’t forgive themselves. They did worse out all of them. “Yunho…tried to slap me, he wanted me out of his sight…maybe dead.”

“y/n, trust me I’ll never want you dead. I will kill myself before doing something to you and for which I will be responsible for my brothers’ regrets.”

“and your regret?”

“I wont keep myself alive to feel the regret.” You stare at him until you look towards the last person.

“but you killed a part of me when you held the gun to my head, San.”

His lips trembles hearing you, he knew what he did was beyond the forgiveness. He himself can’t even think of how to forget it and forgive his deeds. He almost killed you. If he didn’t resist to pull the trigger, you would have been dead.

“NO! y/n, please…I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I want a chance to prove myself to you. I..I don’t know how to say but you should hate me but please don’t go away again. Don’t tell me to give up on you.”

You remove Jongho’s and Seonghwa’s hands from you before standing up and make your away out of the pile where they are all sitting around you.

“y/n…please don’t go.” Wooyoung’s voice cracks and Hongjoong pats his back.

You dust your knee length floral frock, “I am not going…” you turn around, your back facing them. The waters washing your bare feet, the dress flowing with the wind, hairs dancing to the rhythm of the silent melody in the breeze, eyes watching the sun above the horizon, soon it will say the goodbye to the day and the silent night with the roar of the big waves filling the shore.

“I want to feel the moment. What it feels to be with your loved ones again in the same place where you have spent days of crying alone.”

You crane your neck to look at them and smile. They are attentive to your every word, every action, every emotion. You are calm and collected, totally different from the day you were anxious and scattered.

“You often come here?” Hongjoong asks you slowly and you nod while turning towards them. You are shining under the setting sun, their angel. “Come on, one of you already knows about it. Right, Yeosang?”

Everyone looks at him and he slowly nods. “I tracked her location everyday and one day when I saw her spending too much time in this particular location, I thought she was in danger but she was just crying to herself. And since then, I followed her here and watched her from a distance.”

They are surprised to hear that he followed you and you were aware of it.

“don’t pretend you all are any better. You all have stalked me in different ways.” You shake your head with the thought. “living with you all atleast taught me a lot how to know if someone is keeping an eye on me.”

“somebody was stalking you?” Hongjoong is totally confused and when you nod, Seonghwa and Mingi have the same expressions like him. they both ask you the same question.

“Yunho is almost a regular customer at the café. He thought no one would recognise him being so obvious. You don’t drink strawberry milkshake then why did you order that day?” you raise your brow and he presses his lips in line before replying, “I heard you made it specially that day for the children and I wanted to taste it.”

“Are you a child? You even asked saying it's for your daughter. My coworker was so upset knowing you were married.” He laughs lightly.

You fold your hands in front and gesture towards San, “I know it was you who saved me that night while returning from Mrs. Lee's house. Thank you, San. I know you can’t hurt me. you were disturbed and held the gun towards me but give me some time. I promise I will forget it.”

He quickly gets on his feet, approaches towards you and engulfs you in a hug, “Thanks to you, y/n for not giving up on me, on us. I promise you too. I wont ever let anything to happen us for which we have to regret more.”

You nod in his embrace. The ruthless one who was threatening you to shoot is nowhere to be seen today but still a part of you is still hurt.

You are lost in the moment with San that you didn’t notice them on their feet around both of you.

“y/n…you said a lot of things that day.” Jongho’s voice makes you break the hug but San is still holding your hand. Hongjoong casts a glance towards him and proceeds, “about that…about the…”

“about what?” you furrow your brows.

Mingi completes the sentence, “about the baby.”

Oh. Yeah, they still remember it. You thought they didn’t care.

You look towards them, feeling intimidate under their gazes, overwhelmed with all the attention on you, you clutch his hand and gulp the lump with the thought of your baby.

A wave of emotions erupted in you.

“my baby…I lost my first baby…I don’t deserve to be a mother.” Seonghwa pulls you in a hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back. He glares at others for bringing up the topic but deep down he knows, some day it needs to be raised and you had to face but still seeing you breaking down in his arms is making him more upset.

But there is a relief that you are not pushing away them again. He holds you tighter.

San caresses your head and softly says, “it’s okay, y/n. don’t cry. You deserve everything, every little good thing and happiness of this universe. You will be a great mother.”

You rest your head against Seonghwa’s chest and turns towards them, ear picking up the beat of his heart and after so many years of missing them, you are finally with them, in their arms.

Your eyes are hurt and lost in emotion.

“thanks for listening to me that day…I really wanted to take those all off my chest. I felt so nice after screaming everything to you all. I have spent days of crying to myself but everyday I hoped atleast one of you to come to me. Wooyoung and Jongho didn’t blame me much but still as your brothers, they supported you. I was upset, angry, stressed and guilty but you know I was relieved that whatever happened, in the end I had saved you all.”

“Hongjoong…I have saved you from dying. I have saved your gang but somehow…I couldn’t save my baby.”

Yeosang wipes your tears, “don’t cry. You did a lot for us. I don’t know if we deserve you in our life. You are the purest one and still we hurt you, we owe you for everything that you did to save us.”

Seonghwa adds, “I’m sorry, y/n. But I will be always grateful to you for saving us.”

Yunho steps forward and pulls you towards him, your back coming in contact with his chest and holds your hands in front, “look at the view of the setting sun, y/n.”

You glance at him then to others and then to your front, the sun setting slowly.

“you are pretty like the sunset on the sea.”  He plants a kiss on top of your head.

“me?”

Seonghwa nods along with Yunho. Others have a fond smile on their faces.

“why?”

“the level of our love changes with every waves of our emotions. The glass waters represent the tears that reflects the feelings towards each other but still shining, highlighting the bond and strength of us. No matter how rough the days are or how smooth the flow of life is. We will always stay together and forever.”

“Really? But I am still hurt, Yunho. It’s really not easy for me to forget everything.”

Seonghwa pats your cheek lightly, “you really can’t forget it so easily. We did wrong and you should see us like the ones who are guilty for this but let’s again build the bond together. None of us can live without you. If I lose you, I will lose myself too.”

San is hesitant but wooyoung urges him to speak, he steps near you, “we have so much to do in our life. We need to prove you so much. We have to return you the happiness, the smile that you lost that day, the trust you lost that day and your love for us.”

“San, I have lost a lot already. Don’t remind me of those. But atleast I have you all again. Even if I had gone away that day but still I was relief that neither of you were hurt in the mission. You all were safe.”

Mingi smiles, “you are safe too.”

“if you all really wanted me dead then you would have tried many things. I am alive because your love for me, your inner trust for me didn’t let you kill me.”

Hongjoong places a kiss to your side of the head, “I will not let anything to hurt an inch of you. I will show you how an actual princess is to be treated.”

“Even if I have lost everything, my love for you will never get lost. It’s always secure in my heart, beating with the heart strings of our loving bond. Please don’t break it again.”

The setting sun with a promise with a twinkling star in your eyes, the tears of a hope of new beginning. The innocent blossom of a forgiving love. The flowers in the memory of them are left behind with the stargazer still in the middle surrounded by the orchids.

Just like you, their star, surrounding by the stargazers around you, your loved ones.

“please don’t let me go again.”

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @scuzmunkie @yuyusgamingchair @chngbnwf @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ Ending 2 ~ 49

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 1,870ish

Summary: You and Laura find yourselves in The Void.

Notes: This is basically a filler chapter. I'm sorry if I skipped a lot, I wanted to get to the official scenes, plus I have a lot planned for after the movie scenes are done and want to get to those! I hope you still enjoy it! Please remember to review the timeline posted here.

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks!

With a flick of her wrists, the bald woman used her powers to pull you and Laura up to your feet. You groaned at the quick forced moments.

“Interesting,” the bald woman mumbled, studying you. Her long pointer finger hooked under her chin, earning a growl from Laura. “You’re Y/N… An Ember. Aren’t you a rare find. Haven’t seen one of you around here, or even your counterpart, Wolverine.” She pulled back and looked at Laura. “And you are a rare sight as well. X-23. Laura.”

“Who are you?” You asked, completely confused about what happened and where you were.

“Oh, my apologies, I’m Cassandra Nova and you’re in the Void.”

“The Void?”

“A place where the TVA sends people they deem as troublemakers from various places in the multiverse.”

“The TVA?” Laura questioned.

Cassandra sighed. “Don’t you two know anything?”

You studied the woman in front of you, there was something familiar about her. “Do I know you?”

Cassandra laughed. “No, but you may have met a version of my brother, Charles.”

“Charles is your brother?”

“In some universes.”

Your mind was reeling. Multiple universes? Multiple Charles? Charles has a sister? Cassandra smirked as she could see your mind trying to catch up. You could feel her slithering around in your mind, despite your best efforts to keep her out. She stepped tauntingly closer to you, making Laura try to find against her hold.

“Show me a flame,” Cassandra whispered, knowingly. “Show me.”

“Don’t do it, mom!” Laura implored. “Don’t—“

“Quiet!” Cassandra forced Laura to quiet down. “Seems like your daughter knows your little secret. You’re not as strong as you once were. Maybe you’re no use to me at all.”

“You want a flame?” You responded quietly. “I’ll give you a flame.”

You let out a shout as you used your whole body to blast Cassandra with fire. Her grip loosened on you and Laura, causing you two to fall to the ground. Laura moved quickly, tightening her backpack on her shoulders before pulling you up.

“We got to run!” She said, pulling you along.

You hated how weak you felt after that, but you knew you had to keep going. Laura pulled you into the woods, allowing you both to miss the group of people that joined Cassandra.

“Do you want us to get ‘em?”

“No,” Cassandra waved him off. “They’ll come find me eventually. I’m the only one who can help that Ember with her little fire problem.”

~~~

Laura kept dragging you through the woods until she felt it was safe enough to stop.

“Sit,” she ordered, her tone leaving no room for argument. 

You sat against a large tree, catching your breath. Your hands clenched into fists as you tried to push the pain away.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Laura said, shaking her head. “That was too dangerous.”

“I’m fine, sweetie,” you told her, plastering a small smile on your face.

Laura scoffed. “You know, I’ve known for a few years now that your powers have started to cause you pain.”

“Laura—“

“No. You shouldn’t have done that. I could have gotten us out of there.”

You reached over and took her hand. “I’m sorry. For using my powers like that and for thinking I could keep the truth about them a secret from you.”

“I understand why you did it, kept it a secret. You haven’t used your powers much since Dad died. There’s been really no need.”

“Yes, but you deserved to know. I’m sorry.”

Laura gave your hand a squeeze. “We should keep moving. She’s probably hunting us down.”

You shook your head. “No, she would have found us already. She let us go.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know, but something tells me that her not hunting us down is much worse.”

“Still, we should keep going.” 

Laura stood up before reaching down and taking your hands. She pulled you and you tugged her into a hug. Laura melted into your embrace, allowing herself to relax. You let yourself hold your daughter for a moment, forgetting the predicament you were in. 

“We’re going to get through this,” you whispered. “Together.”

~~~

The Void was a weird place. No part of it made any sense. Climates were merged together. Random buildings, ships, planes, and vehicles were scattered about. Sometimes, they would just fall from the sky, seemingly out of nowhere. And, so far, you and Laura hadn’t run into anyone else sense your run in with Cassandra. The two of you were able to find food in the abandoned buildings that you passed. 

Days seemed to run weird here as well. You thought it had been four days since you arrived, but you were unsure. All you knew is that you and Laura had been seemingly brought here for a reason that you had yet to figure out. Laura and you found a spot to camp for the night. You flicked your wrist, forming a flame nearby. You sighed as the tinge of pain that radiated through your hand. You could see Laura’s concern from the corner of your eye.

“Dad would hate for you to be feeling like this,” Laura mumbled.

“Yeah, well, your father’s not here,” you retorted.

“What would he say? About… your pain.”

You thought back to all those years ago. 2013. When Logan told you what he had found out about your phoenix power, that too many times would start to kill your power. To kill you. It was one of his worst fears and he wasn’t even around to try to prevent it.

“Logan would have gotten angry that I even tried to hide it. He would have noticed something was wrong from the first sign of pain… He knew me too well… We would have fought about me using my abilities and he would have won. He would have looked at me with those eyes… looking at me like I was the world.” Your eyes fell to the ring still on your hand, feeling like it was burning a brand to your skin. “He would have begged me to stop using my powers, telling me that I was the only thing he was living for. And I would have stopped for the most part. For him… I would have done anything for him.” Laura reached over and grabbed your hand. “I— I haven’t told anyone this, but it’s my biggest regret… that we buried him with the dog tags. I wasn’t in the right mind to think about taking them from him… I used to cling to those for comfort, and now… now I rely too much on you and this ring to keep be afloat.” You looked over at Laura with tears in your eyes. “I’m sorry if I haven’t been the person you needed. I’m sorry if I’ve asked too much of you… if I relied too much on you.”

“No, mom,” Laura moved closer. “You’ve been just what I’ve needed.” She rested her head on your shoulder and you rested your head on hers. “I miss him.”

“Me, too, sweetie… so much.”

“He would have hated it here.”

You laughed. “He would be complaining the whole time, but always making sure that we were taken care of.”

“I think he’d still not be okay with sharing you.”

“Not at all. But I’d force him… there’s always enough of me to go around.”

Laura sighed. “I love you, mom.”

“I love you, too, kiddo.”

~~~

Laura woke up to footsteps, branches crunching underneath. She opened one eye slightly, taking in her surroundings. You were still sound asleep beside her. She believed that you needed your rest and wasn’t about to have someone attack you in your sleep. Laura noticed it was a woman sneaking up on the two of you. A woman with long brown hair in a maroon leather outfit. The woman had two blades, twirling in her hands. The woman went to lean down but before she could get too close, Laura had launched herself at the woman. 

You woke up to see that Laura had pinned a woman down not far from where you were laying. You sat up.

“Laura!” You exclaimed. 

“Who are you?” Laura asked the woman she had pinned.

“I should be asking that of you!” The woman retorted. “Are you one of Cassandra’s minions?”

“Cassandra?” You repeated. “No! We are trying to get away from her. Laura, let her go.” Laura stood up, leaving the woman on the ground. “I’m Y/N. This is my daughter, Laura. We were sent here to the—the Void and we don’t know why. We ran into Cassandra briefly but we were able to get away.”

The woman stood up, brushing the dirt off of herself. “I’m Elektra.”

“It’s nice to meet you, under the circumstances.”

“Yes. How long have you two been out here?”

“A few days, we think.”

“That’s a long time for the Void. Impressive.” The three of you fell silent as she studied the two of you. “Come on.” She motioned her to the nearby path. “There’s a group of us trying to survive here and perhaps defeat Cassandra one day. There’s safety where we are.”

Laura and you shared a look, like you were reading each other’s thoughts. 

“Okay,” you agreed. “Let’s go.”

~~~

You followed Elektra to a cement building, built into the ground. Inside, it was a makeshift home. There you met Gambit, Blade, and Johnny. They explained to you that they were sent here because the TVA decided that their universes were dying and didn’t want them to fight for it. Laura and you could only figure that your reason for being sent here were the same. They told you that there used to be more of them, but each one of the others had gone against Cassandra and never came back.

The five of you became a weird little family as the days turned into weeks. You learned more about their universes and you shared about yours. You kept the usage of your powers at bay, not wanting to push yourself too much.

“I think we should go out and search,” you said.

“If Johnny’s not back yet, that’s on him,” Blade stated.

“Cassandra probably ended him, Chere,” Gambit added.

“Don’t care,” you replied. “We should still look.”

“I’ll help you, mom,” Laura offered. “I’ll take the East, you take the West.”

“Thanks, kiddo. Let’s get going.”

~~~

Laura hadn’t been gone more than a few hours when she stumbled across the Honda Odyssey. Like stalking a prey, she moved towards it. Peeking inside it, she saw that it was all bloodied and cut up. There were two unconscious men laying in the van, one was tied up with seatbelts and the other made Laura freeze for a second. The face was so familiar, though she knew it wasn’t him. For a brief moment, Laura was torn. She knew she should bring them back for their safety and to see what was going on, but she feared what seeing a version of Logan—of your husband—could do to you.

Staring at the man’s face for a moment longer, Laura decided. She got into the Honda Odyssey, started it up, and drove off.

next chapter >

[blainesebastian]

something real

words: 13,045 ship: austin butler x female reader rating: SFW except for one explicit scene summary: i took inspo from a request about fake!dating for a wedding and from another film with a similar premise. what else do you do when your ex is getting married? hire a fake date notes: feel free to visit my austin masterlist warnings: none, but check the rating. tag list: @austinbutlermischief, @killerqueenfan, @stylespresleyhearted,

“You’re losing it.”

A short laugh escapes your lips because god, maybe you are. This all started out easily enough—you needed a date for your ex’s wedding. Right, the fact that you were even invited kind of drives you crazy. It’s not like you didn’t have a good relationship with Todd, you did? But it also doesn’t change the fact how things ended—he ‘meant’ to break things off with you but started seeing someone at the same time. Claire. The girl he’s marrying. But you’re not about to go through life with grudges and anger when you can just let things go.

Which is why you’ve entertained this wedding invitation in the first place?

But to go alone? That’s a fate worse than death.

Which, ironically, is exactly what your friend, Jill, is telling you you’re going to be with this idea you’ve come up with.

“It’s all perfectly safe.” You mutter, sliding onto a bar stool and turning to look at her. You’re wearing a light blue dress, pair of booties, and jean jacket. Just casual enough but also hinting you’ve got a figure to show off if you really wanted to.

She scoffs, “Yeah, that’s what everyone says before they end up on 60 Minutes.”

You can’t help but smile, tugging the file out of your course before setting it on the bar top. “Do you want me to explain it again?”

Jill puts her hands on her hips—as if that will somehow make her comfortable with all of this, but she’s not protesting either. So you open up the file and—

“So my neighbor’s used this service before to go to her high school reunion, you know, so she didn’t end up there alone. She went onto their online platform, filled out a survey and bam, she was matched with someone to go.”

Jill narrows her eyes, “For twenty thousand dollars.”

“Well it’s not charity,” You throw back, “I’ve done the research, there’s a ton of reviews—all positive. It’s not like it’s about sex or anything, it’s just…companionship for one event.”

Jill looks at the file, crinkling her nose, “There’s so many other ways you could have done this—Rick, the guy in 6B? He’s always thought you were cute.”

You laugh a little, “If I go out with Rick, there is a good chance I’ll end up missing some limbs—dude is creepy, Jill.”

Her friend rolls her eyes but it’s fond, opening up the file and pointing to a blank spot where this guy’s photo should be, “Okay, but you don’t even get to know what he looks like?”

“I think it was my Wi-Fi,” You state honestly, “Some of the images weren’t loading. But that’s why you’re here,” You grin, “Safety measures. So—” You gently push on one of her hips, “Go find a table, order a drink while I wait for Austin.”

“That’s the gigolo’s name?”

“Wedding date,” You correct, shooing her away until she heads to a table.

Taking a breath, you look at the reflective surface of the bar mirror in front of you, mentally praying that this somehow not a huge mistake and order a drink.

--

Chewing on the drunken cherry in your Manhattan, you glance down the bar as you see someone handsome talking to a small group of women. You wonder if that’s Austin, looking for you—he’s about ten minutes late. Your stomach clenches anxiously, knowing that maybe Jill was right and this is utterly ridiculous. But…you got invited to the wedding late (either it was a last-minute thought or it got lost in the mail) but there was no way you could organically find someone to ask.

Sure, you could have brought Jill or some other friend but…deep down? You know this is about making Todd feel utterly stupid for cheating on you, for leaving you for someone else. You don’t want him back, of course, but that feeling of satisfaction? That look on his face when he sees you with someone else? You want it.

You can’t not go and you can’t find someone random in your life already to go with…so when your neighbor mentioned this quick fix? How could you not look into it? You’ve got a ton of money saved from over the years, not to mention a small investment your grandfather put in your name. What’s the harm in looking into this, right?

“Y/N?”

Turning on the bar stool, you nearly swallow your own tongue as you’re met face to face with who you assume is Austin. And joke’s on you because he’s ten times more beautiful than the other guy at the bar you saw talking to those women. He’s tall, lean, in a pair of dark jeans and a black t-shirt underneath a black leather jacket. Easily handsome, like…James Dean or Elvis Presley. Doesn’t have to try very hard.

And suddenly something hysterical crawls up your throat as he takes a seat next to you, introduces himself as Austin, and apologizes for being late because of traffic because—

“I’m sorry—” You interrupt, shaking your head, “This uh, this isn’t going to work.”

His eyebrows draw together in confusion, his mouth opening and closing, “Excuse me?”

“You’re,” You laugh lightly, cheeks heating up. There’s this sickly sensation gripping your stomach, telling you to run, “No one is going to believe that we’re dating.”

And maybe that’s something oddly pathetic you shouldn’t have uttered outloud because what’s even worse, Austin seems to grip what you’re saying and his features soften. You do not want pity or sympathy, you’re just…stating a fact.

Austin takes in a soft breath and looks towards the bartender, ordering himself a beer, confusing you a little because you expected him to just…take off. There’s no money involved at this point, it’s a clean break. This meeting is just to discuss details.

“I think you’re underestimating yourself,” He states gently, eyes sweeping over your form. And god, he’s good, isn’t he? You suppose this is his job, making women feel good. Confident. Even though it’s all a lie.

Letting out a breath as his drink is set down on the bar, you figure there’s no harm in…talking with him, right? He came all this way; you can at least wait until he finishes his beer to turn him down. You’ll just go to this damn wedding alone—it’s really not that big of a deal, right?

Austin takes off his leather jacket, hanging it up on a hook underneath the bar and he smells amazing—some sort of cologne that’s fresh and almost citrusy. You run a hand through your hair and order another Manhattan.

“So your request said a wedding?”

“My ex,” You clarify, “And I don’t want him back, or anything, I just want him to feel like an idiot.”

Austin smiles a little, humming— “Well, that shouldn’t be too hard. I’m assumin’ he already is one.”

A small laugh stutters forward in your chest because yes, he is. Your shoulders start to relax just a little because maybe Austin gets it. By not going or going alone you…you don’t want Todd to think that he’s somehow gotten one over you, that you’re lonely or broken ever since you’ve separated.

“Have you…done weddings before?”

He shifts a little on the barstool so that he’s facing you a little easier, “I’ve done weddings the most,” He admits, “Two high school reunions, one funeral.”

You raise your eyebrows, setting your drink down on the bar. “A funeral?”

Austin shrugs lightly, “Some women just want a hand to hold on their hardest day, a shoulder to cry on. Someone to talk to.” He licks his lips, taking a sip of his beer, “I’m not one to judge.”

You straighten your shoulders and…you suppose you’re really not in a position to do that either, given you’re here to hire Austin so you feel less alone and pathetic at a wedding. You take a long look at him for a moment, —curious. He doesn’t want to be doing anything else?

“Can I ask—why are you doing this?” Your fingers trace shapes into the condensation on your glass. “This whole fake-date program?”

Austin clears his throat, “You can ask me whatever you want,” He starts and that within itself seems like a dangerous proposition. “I work at this café near here but uh, it doesn’t exactly bring a lot of money in. I want to be an actor, like…a serious one, the money I get from these dates I’m savin’ up to go to L.A.”

And he essentially gets to pretend to be someone he’s not. Like an endless list of auditions.

There are other things you want to ask, other questions stuck in your throat about doing weddings. Why weddings? The whole concept seems like a bad idea—a high school reunion, a holiday party, even a funeral makes more sense, doesn’t it?

Those aren’t emotionally connected events, there’s no…opportunities to fall into something deeper than what the contract of attachment allows. But weddings? It’s about love and finding your person and…going to one with someone else feels like such a slippery slope.

Or maybe it doesn’t because Austin is a professional.

“So if I…if we do this, what does it entail, exactly?” You take another sip of your drink, as if you need the liquid courage for his response.

A small smile graces his handsome face again, “Don’t overthink it. It’s whatever you want, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

You feel like there’s this heat uncoiling in your belly even though he’s not suggesting anything. Somehow, it’s in the ocean blue of his eyes—a depth there. You clear your throat, “You mean uh—if I require a dance partner? Because I love to dance at weddings…usually badly.”

Austin laughs warmly but shakes his head. “I meant if I was goin’ as your date or a boyfriend.”

And oh, of course, you hadn’t even thought about it but of course Austin would want a more specific role to sink his teeth into and your mind spins about what you want to do. It’s just one night, one silly wedding, there’s no long con here. It’s not like Todd will even care who you show up with, right? You’re the one who wants to feel less lonely—

And yet—

“You can think about it, if you need to—”

“Boyfriend.” You say, cutting him off. Heat returns to your cheeks…mise well go big or go home, right? If you’re going to do this? This has got to be a bad idea, right?

“Okay,” Austin smiles, “Good.”

So it’s settled that he’ll meet you at your place beforehand, you’ll iron out details of your relationship in case anyone asks and then you’ll go to the wedding together.

Austin stands and he tosses some cash on the bar counter (enough to cover your drink as well) and he hovers for a moment, tugging on his leather jacket. “My number’s in the file, in case you need it.”

Then there’s a moment where Austin watches you, fixing the lapels of his jacket. His one hand then rests on the bar, taking a step closer to you, and the way that you’re seated, your legs open just slightly to accommodate his body in your space.

“Don’t hit me, alright?” He smiles a little, leaning down, and honestly you’re the one that feels like you’re getting sucker punched in the stomach. Air right out of your lungs. “It was nice meeting you.”

You swallow, your mouth suddenly dry as your eyes flutter to his lips, “Yeah, you too.”

There’s more than enough time for you to pull away, but you don’t, so he kisses you.

It’s nothing obscene, but slow and gentle. Warm. Just enough to make your heart pound against your ribcage, electricity singing in your veins. You suppose it’s something you should get used to if Austin is going to pass as your boyfriend.

You raise your eyebrows a little as he pulls away, hot under the collar of your jean jacket.

“Figure we’d just get that out of the way so you could concentrate.” He teases and god, your mind is spinning. You kinda hate that he’s made you feel like this so easily, like somehow it’s second nature.

“What, that doesn’t cost extra?” You manage to throw out there, finding your voice.

Austin grins, another soft laugh rumbling in his chest. “I’ll see you soon.”

You let out a slow breath, running a hand over your hair as you watch him walk out of the bar before downing the rest of your drink.

“So that’s your date, huh?” Jill asks as she comes up behind you—honestly her voice kinda sounds like cotton in your ears. “Todd is gonna swallow his own tongue.”

And you can’t help but grin.

You meet one more time before the wedding, just…something to solidify that you do, in fact, know what you’re doing. But also to get a bit more comfortable around Austin and the fact that he’s going to be your boyfriend. You let out a slow breath, aggravated by how crazy that sounds. Maybe Jill’s right, maybe this is a bad idea (despite how handsome and charming Austin is).

He’s picked you up to go somewhere but won’t tell you where. And when the engine turns off, you undo your seatbelt and look out the windshield, “A custard house?”

“Was hopin’ you could go for somethin’ sweet,” Austin smiles a little, “They make these waffle custard sandwiches that’ll change your life.”

You hum lightly and start to get out of the car, a little confused because…well, you’re not sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this. “We’re here for ice cream sandwiches?”

Austin scrunches his nose in mock offense at her flippant description, “No, we’re here for waffle custard. You need to work on listenin’, come on.” He gets out of the car too and locks the doors.

You know you’re about to paying Austin a decent amount of money to be your stand-in date, your fake boyfriend, dragging him to this wedding for god knows what reasons make sense in your head but…you suppose you didn’t count on him being like this. A tiny bit thoughtful, sweet, funny even.

Or maybe he’s already a decent actor.

You follow him to the counter, your eyes trailing over at least thirty different custard flavors—not only that, but there’s twice as many toppings. How are you supposed to choose?

“You know what you want already?” You ask as Austin rolls up the sleeves of his jean jacket a little.

“I always know what I want.” He leans on the counter, turning towards the woman at the register to order French vanilla—but stops when you make a noise. He looks at you over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Somethin’ you wanna share?”

You purse your lips and rocks back onto your heels, shaking your head, “No I just…vanilla, really? You don’t seem like the type.” She teases.

Austin smirks, straightening his back. “Oh, huh.” He motions to the large display menu. “Put your money where your mouth is, baby. What should I order?”

You let the pet name slide (and it does, like heated molasses right down in your veins), which is probably a dangerous slippery slope, but you’re too busy trying to take in a custard selection at the moment to care. You chew on your lower lip, slipping through the flavors written in chalk on the board and decides to go with your favorite pairing—

“He’ll have chocolate and strawberry custard in that waffle sandwich thing with…” You hum, “Caramel sauce and chocolate sprinkles.” You smile, clearly happy with your selection before ordering the same for yourself…except you also get chocolate sauce and whipped cream.

Because why the hell not?

“You’re gonna have that all over you before the night is over.” Austin motions to the dripping mess in your hands, carefully shelled between fresh waffles wrapped up in foil.

You slide yourself onto the hood of Austin’s car, almost sliding back down but managing to lean against the windshield before losing your custard sandwich.

“Challenge accepted.”

Austin smiles a little, sitting down next to you, looking far too handsome sprawled out on his car.

You realize that everything between you both is so dangerous, wrapped in gentle dynamite, the softest breath or touch capable of explosion. But it’s also tantalizing in a way that excites you—Austin is different, gentle but rough with the walls he keeps up.

Everything about this is a lie –circles in your head, over and over, trying to remind you not to take anything too seriously. And yet? You bury it deep with a bite of your custard sandwich. You moan softly and lick chocolate off your lips because Jesus, this is incredible.

Austin smirks, licking custard between the waffle before he takes a bite of his own. “Told you it was worth the stop.”

“I’m not going to admit you somehow know all just because you have decent taste in custard.” You smile and takes another bite of your waffle sandwich, leaning back to watch cars drive by.

“Give it time.” Austin glances over and you can feel his gaze, always like a magnet tracing the curves of your body. You want to tell him that you enjoy when he looks at you like that, to be felt and seen all at the same time, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

You wonder if he looks at every woman who’s ever paid him like that.

You’re not sure you want to know.

You turn and meet his gaze, holding it for a moment before a small smile graces your lips. “Do you really work at a café?”

He nods, leaning further up against the windshield. “It’s called Mug Half Full; been there about three years.” He licks his lips, pulling a napkin from his pants pocket and wiping his chin where he feels caramel sticking. “What do you do? You didn’t mention it in your email.”

You swallow down a bought of self-loathing at the question and decide to take another bite of your sandwich; sweet hiding sour. “I uh, I’m kinda in-between jobs at the moment.” You know Austin has to be able to see through that terrible excuse of an answer. “I’m currently getting an online degree in education.”

Austin finishes his custard waffle, which is admirable because yours is two seconds away from becoming soup in your hands. You lick at the sides as he crumples up a napkin and puts his trash in a can nearby so it’s not in either of your way.

“What do you want to do?”

The question shouldn’t offend you as much as it does, the want and need to defend yourself raising your hackles a bit. You bite down on reacting too sorely; he’s just asking a question—and you realize you haven’t given him a reason not to ask something like that. Your bland response is what prompts the statement.

You suppose you’re just…too used to people asking that, especially since society makes you feel like you somehow got a late start in figuring things out. In reality, it’s never too early or too late to be whoever you want. You’re just…getting to that.

You clear your throat, setting your custard sandwich down on your lap a moment, the foil protecting your clothes. “I have no idea,” You admit with a soft laugh, “My relationship with my ex kinda took all my energy—supporting whatever he needed, you know? Now I’m just starting to figure myself out.” And you’re proud of that progress, even though it feels like pushing a boulder up a hill sometimes. “I might teach maybe, one day.”

He holds your gaze for a moment, slight amusement dancing in the corners of his eyes. He smiles gently, looking down at your hands before he picks up your sandwich and licks whipped cream off the corner. Ridiculously obscene and unnecessary but you let him do it anyways.

You have apparently become accustomed to sharing things—you’ve noticed that he continues the ruse of soft touches and intimate gestures when no one’s watching. You think it’s to help solidify the fact that you’re supposed to be dating, supposed to be into one another. Which isn’t very hard when he does things like that with his tongue.

Austin tosses your trash like he did with his own before turning to look at you, handing you a napkin to wipe your hands off. “I could tell you wanted more. And you know, there’s nothin’ wrong with that.”

Then why does it feel so guilty for you to admit— “Sometimes it feels selfish, to want things for myself.” You swallow, letting it sink into the air. You’ve never told anyone that before, not even your best friend or your parents.

“Sounds like someone really selfish made you feel that way.” He says gently and it’s like…wool has been taken off your eyes. Something you maybe knew but needed to hear.

It’s not what you expect him to say, not in the slightest, but it warms you from the inside out either way. You nod because yes, you’ve never thought about it like that but yes, that’s it exactly. Realizing that taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do—knowing yourself and that you deserve to want, that it’s normal, even.

Austin hums softly, moving to slip off the car. You swing your legs around and when he offers you his hand, you take it to slide off as well.

How easy it would be to lean up and kiss him, how he’d probably taste like hints of chocolate and strawberry. You wait for him to let you go, for his hand to stop holding yours. But he doesn’t.

You lick your own lips, your eyes looking to his lower one, how it pouts out gently when he looks at you—and you decide to stop waiting for things you want. If you’re going to pay for his company, you might as well enjoy it.

You press your lips into his own, capturing something sweet, lips moving together like you both were always made to kiss. Austin’s one hand moves to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing your hair back around your ear before eventually pulling back. You’re breathing a little shakily, your noses brushing, Austin taking his time to trace your cheekbone with his lips before he opens up the car door for you.

“You’re not charging me extra for the gentleman treatment, are you?” Or for the kisses I keep stealing?

Austin smiles, a soft laugh leaving his throat as he waits for you to put your seatbelt on. “Not yet.” And closes the door with a wink.

--

You think about canceling six times between when you wake up on the day of the wedding to the moment you slide your dress over your head. You’ve told yourself that this was and continues to be a terrible idea and if you hadn’t paid him half up front through a cash app, you’d have the nerve to tell him never mind. Kisses and all, you really feel like you’re starting to lose your damn mind.

Though you know even if you told Austin to forget the whole thing, you still have to go to this wedding. (You could probably skip it no big deal, but the last thing you want is Todd to assume you’re bothered either). Canceling now would definitely mean going alone and you can’t stomach it, not when you feel like all of your insides are already in knots.

You smooth your hands down the front of your dress as you hear the doorbell, taking the steps downstairs carefully in your gold heels. You’ve settled for a navy-blue number that shows just enough cleavage and is ruffled at your middle, hugging curves and kissing your skin beautifully. You feel confident and comfortable, which is important for a long night.

You sigh, glancing at your front door for a moment before turning the knob and opening up to see Austin. He’s standing in a suit, beautifully polished, hair perfectly coifed on his head. A navy button-down underneath a gray suit jacket, tie to match with a red spidery design that reminds you of tree branches in the winter.

A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows because, “Why are you shakin’ your head?” He asks as he steps over the threshold and you close the door.

“I just naturally assumed you were going to show up in black. Black in your profile picture that finally loaded, black at the bar… I thought that was the only shade you owned.”

He runs a hand lightly over his chest. “Grays in the same shade family.” He’s joking but you’re not laughing and finally he just throws his hands up a little, “What’s the big deal?”

“Because we match.”

Austin looks down at himself and pauses, doesn’t get it, gives you a look that makes you feel a little crazy. “That a bad thing?”

“It’s—” No, it’s not exactly a terrible idea but it somehow digs under your skin because you want today to be perfect and Austin is supposed to be your boyfriend and you can’t be that couple that goes all matchy-matchy to events, right?

What are the odds that he shows up in something that is the exact same color as your damn dress?

“It’s too perfect, it’s not believable.” You say and he raises his eyebrows because that does not make one lick of sense. He takes a step towards you and you mirror one back, shaking your head.

Austin lets out a slow breath because you’re nitpicking and it annoys him, a flare of impatience decorating his handsome face. “Well I don’t exactly got another suit in my back pocket and we’re already late.”

You narrows your eyes, “Just…follow me. I’ll change.”

You’re up the stairs and in your bedroom before you realize what you’ve said, Austin slipping in behind you and looking around the room, drinking you in with permission you’ve accidently given him. You turn suddenly and slip off your heels, pressing one hand to his chest to stop him.

“Don’t move.”

He smiles a little and nods his head, sticking his hands in his pockets as he watches you slide into your walk-in closet to change. You sigh softly and run a hand over your forehead before you take a moment to unzip your dress and glance at your options.

“A lot of beige.”

You roll your eyes and pull out a black dress, quickly pulling it on and kicking your navy blue one to the side before stepping out of your closet. You don’t bother to zip it up until you make sure it’s the right one.

Austin has dutifully not moved from the spot on the carpet where you’ve left him and he scrunches his nose at your dress, “You goin’ to a wake?”

“What’s wrong with beige?” You glance around your bedroom; at the little accents you’ve added that have color to them. Some shades of coffee colored brown and touches of teal here and there. It’s minimalist but tasteful.

“It’s just not what I pictured.”

“You pictured my bedroom?” You ask, but the corners of your mouth pull slightly as you put your hands on your hips.

Austin tilts his head at you, eyes traveling over your body in an unashamed way. “Maybe.” He pauses for a moment to let that sink into your pores. “You don’t seem like a beige. Also, no to that dress. I can maybe get you not wantin’ to match completely but that doesn’t line up with what I got on at all.”

You nod and turn to go back into your closet, pulling the dress off and standing far too long in your underwear trying to decide on a color range. You could go gold…but that feels too flashy, gray is out of the question and so is another navy dress so…

You finger red fabric for a moment that matches the scarlet on Austin’s tie and pull it off the hanger.

“I’m not actually that fond of beige,” You admit over your shoulder as you pull the dress up—it’s a fit and flare that kind of reminds you of the sixties. Something that hugs your waist with a high-neck tanked top and flares out like a wide flame at the bottom. It hits just below your knees and your gold heels will still go nicely with it.

“But the house kinda came this way and…I never took the time to fix it.” You walk out of the closet, pulling your hair free from underneath. “Todd didn’t like bold colors anyways.”

Austin’s eyes descend on you like a cold rush of water, a wave crashing down onto your shores. He stares for what feels like a long time, his hands coming out of his pockets like he wants to touch but can’t—too far away. You smile softly as his gaze sticks, he’s captivated by the dress, and you notice he has to shake his head as you approach to be able to speak to you.

“So I’m guessin’ he’s not gonna like this.” He reaches to touch your waist, fingers pressing warmly into the fabric.

You chew on the inside of your cheek a moment, looking up at him. “Do you like it?”

He smirks gently, pulling on your elbow to turn you around. He doesn’t reply but you feel suddenly naked under his gaze as your bare back is exposed to him. He takes his time finding the zipper and slowly draws it up into place, fixing the little hook at the top. His hands rest against your shoulders and guide down, squeezing your arms before letting you go.

“Get your shoes. We’re already late.”

You let out a long sigh that somehow turns into a pout, making him smile, “We could stay here, you could give more wisecracks about my bedroom decorum.”

Austin smirks and grabs your purse from where it’s seated on the bed as you slip your heels back on. “As amazing as that sounds, that’s not what you’re payin’ me for.”

And the words sound sour, swallowing them down, nodding your head as you leave the bedroom with him.

--

The wedding itself isn’t actually terrible—it’s beautiful in a way that would make any woman envious. Lots of flowers and gold designs and as you watch the entire ceremony take place, you have moments where you wonder why you’re here. Was it really that important for you to show up? And not only that, but pay a date to be here? You keep going back and forth, like a serious game of tug-of-war.

Why did it matter if you showed up alone? Or with Jill?

Austin helps you with your coat, his hand on your lower back as you walk out of the church and towards the reception hall which is being held in this beautiful botanical garden that has rooms you can rent for things like this.

People begin to pile into the building, pausing at the coat check before heading into the reception all, and it’s right there that you suddenly feel like bolting. Truth is? Todd was your boyfriend for years before your breakup (a breakup that might have never happened if you hadn’t realized he was cheating, because clearly he hadn’t taken the initiative until it was too late). And it’s probably so stupid that you remained friends with him, that you were invited to this wedding, that you for some reason care about what he thinks—even now.

But you do.

You should have just moved on and thrown the wedding invitation in the trash but…feelings don’t always come in black and white. You constantly live in a shade of gray.

And you’re worried someone is going to see right through you tonight.

Austin squeezes your hand, getting your attention as you remain grounded by the coat check. He’s patient, waiting until your gaze meets his own. “You’re shakin’.” His other hand covers the one he’s already holding.

You nod your head and offer a smile you don’t feel. “I thought this would be easy. Having you here as a distraction, smiling at all the right times and drinking too much wine in a nice dress,” You shrug your one shoulder, “It doesn’t change how I feel.”

Despite the small amount of privacy the coat check wall provides, you can feel eyes on you two from different parts of the room; people slipping past to get a glass of champagne from the cash bar, fluttering in-between hors d'oeuvres tables and congratulating the couple. Guests who know who you are, who are whispering about you. You can hear Todd a few feet away; big laughs and too loud discussions that tell you he’s a little drunk but genuinely happy.

Or maybe this is all in your head.

“Look, I think you were gonna feel this way no matter if you came alone or with someone.” He runs his thumb over your knuckles. “But you can still do all the other things you mentioned,” Austin leans in, brushes his lips over your cheekbone as he talks, “Drink too much wine in a beautiful dress and smilin’ definitely doesn’t hurt.”  

He pulls back and you lick your lips, wanting nothing more than to lean up and kiss him again. To feel his arms wrap around you and pull you close, back outside, to his car, away from this place where you feel like you have to be someone you’re not.

Austin grasps your chin between his pointer finger and thumb, waiting until your eyes meets his own again. He leans forward to brush your lips together, gently, more to distract you than anything else because it’s not a kiss.

“Women hire me because they want to feel wanted and if that’s what you need to hear, then fine, I do want you, Y/N.” You let out a breath that sounds too shaky for your own good, your knees slightly buckling. All the other gazes you once felt on you fade away, until it’s only you and Austin in an empty botanical garden.

“But hearin’ that doesn’t matter until you want things for yourself. You want someone to believe in you? You want to feel confident? Wanted?” His hand falls to your waist, “Good enough?”

You swallow thickly, his words reaching something that’s still raw inside of you, that still hurts to think about. You want to pull away, nearly do, but instead surrender to his weight against you. It’s not his fault that he does a better job of reading you than you do looking in a mirror.

“Then it has to come from you first.”

You shake your head as he pulls away, his hand very simply returning to yours as you both move towards the cash bar. “I know you think you know me from a few meetings and a detailed email request. But you don’t.” Your words at least sound stronger than you feel.

Austin looks at you over his shoulder and smiles but says nothing in return.

--

Maybe the problem is, he does know you, even from the simplest interactions. Maybe you’re just not used to being seen. Todd never saw you, even when you gave him so many chances to try. You suppose at that point you need to want to try.

You’re seated at a table that has mostly co-workers and friends and you attempt not to cringe when someone asks you how you know the bride and groom. Austin swoops in and responds that they’re friends, his arm stretched out over the back of your chair. You’re grateful because the words we dated are sitting in your throat like a lump, difficult to swallow over.

The night spins forward, you’re able to avoid the bride and groom for the duration of it, just enjoying food and a little bit too much wine and hanging out with Austin. There are long conversations where you get to know one another, fill one another in about things that are real, beyond the layers of this fake-date situation.

It’s nice, seeing him in that light, getting to know him as if you’d bumped into him at a bar and enjoyed his company.

You almost wish that was the case, instead.

His arm squeezes around your waist as you both dance on the dance floor, his jacket on the back of his chair, dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. You’re definitely a little tipsy, the room is rose-colored, but all in all? It feels like a crisis has been avoided, you’re actually having a good time.

“Can I get you another glass of wine?” Austin asks, brushing his lips over your forehead, “Maybe some cookies from the dessert table?”

You grin, “You know me so well.” And it’s not a line, somehow, you’ve been craving cookies for the past half hour.

Austin smiles, nods, squeezes your waist and leaves you to do just that. You somehow ache with missing the heat of his body once he’s gone—and that’s how you know you’re slightly in over your head. You have to keep reminding yourself that none of this is real—the way Austin talks to you or looks at you, the way his hands travel over your body, the slight brush of his lips against your own.

It's all a lie.

A lie that you paid for.

Running a hand over your forehead, you turn and nearly bump into someone, blinking as you look up and—

“Todd.”

Your ex smiles, “Hey—I’m so glad you came, I wasn’t sure if you would.”

Neither was I, “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.” Chewing on your lower lip, you’re struck with being unsure of what to say, scanning the crowd for Austin before clearing your throat, “Uhm, everything has been beautiful.”

Todd smiles, nodding, taking a look around for his bride. “Thank you. Are you uh, here with Jill?”

You open and close your mouth like a goldfish until you feel that familiar arm slide around you. “No this is Austin,” You take the glass of wine and have a hearty sip and it instantly makes your head spin.

Todd clears his throat and even though he’s smiling, it’s clear he’s giving Austin a once-over. He did not expect you to be here with someone. “I didn’t know you were bringing a friend that wasn’t Jill.” He kinda laughs, like maybe it’s a joke that you don’t have many other close friends other than her.

But Austin is quick to smile, “Actually, I’m her boyfriend.”

And there it is, the look on Todd’s face that you were after this whole time. It’s quick, gone almost as soon as it appears, but lingers in his eyes. Regret, maybe even jealousy. Even though his wife appears by his side and introductions are exchanged.

Luckily the conversation doesn’t last very long, the bride and groom are swept towards other people, more dancing. Which is good because you’re pretty sure you noticed that the bride couldn’t keep her eyes off of Austin.

What a couple her and Todd make.

Downing the rest of the wine, you set it on the table, letting out a slow breath. Austin keeps his hands firm on your hips and you can’t quite meet his eyes. You’re not quite sure how…this wasn’t what you expected, nor wanted.

Just feels like a big mistake.

“Wanna get out of here?” He asks quietly, seeming to read your mind.

You nod and he keeps his arm around you until you make it outside and reach his car.

--

That last glass of wine did you zero favors and by the time you make it to your front door, you’re dropping your keys instead of sliding them into the lock. Austin smiles a little, picking them up and unlocking everything, pushing the door open. You’ve got a firm hand on his shirt because you’re swaying slightly, almost a little afraid of what might happen if you let go.

What if all of this is one weird dream?

“Where are we going?” You ask as he comes inside, closing the door behind him.

“Water n’bed.” Austin replies as he guides you into the living room.

You scrunch your nose and look to the ceiling, definitely knocking yourself off balance as the room spins. Austin lets out a short grunt as he catches you, steadying you against his chest.

“In that order? That’s so boring.”

He chuckles slightly, guiding you both until he has you in front of the couch, encouraging you to sit. “You got somethin’ else you’d rather do?”

You can’t help but grin at the question, poking at his chest. “I think you know what I’d rather like to do.” It’s like hot lava pouring from your lips, you can’t seem to stop it even though you know you’ll have burns later.

Austin hums under his breath but doesn’t respond, concentrates instead on keeping you on the couch once you’re seated.

“Stay there,” He says when you try to get up, holding onto your shoulders and pressing you gently down. “You good or you gonna slip off?” There’s an amused smile pulling handsomely at his lips as he tilts his head down to look at you, slipping his thumb and forefinger along your chin.

“Good, I’m so good.” You nod, determined to give him responses that make sense. You just wish the room would stop spinning.

Only when he feels like you mean it does he pull away from you. You closes your eyes as your fingers grip the cushion, trying to hold yourself in place. None of this really helps and instead you just end up feeling nauseas, forcing your eyes to open so you can see Austin.

He’s taken his jacket off, tie gone and shirt unbuttoned a bit, and seeing his chest and forearms makes heat unwantedly pool between your legs and you lick your lips, trying to focus on what he has in his hands.

“He…he honestly didn’t think I’d be there with anyone.”

A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows and he pauses, “What?”

You swallow, not sure if your trail of thought makes sense. “Todd. Jerk.” You give as an explanation.

Something passes over Austin’s face but it’s gone as soon as it appears and he crouches in front of you, his one hand slipping over your knee a moment, “Do you actually care what he thinks?”

You hold his gaze for a long moment before shaking your head. He hums softly, squeezing, his thumb between your thighs and it’s really too distracting.

“Then fuck him; neither of those two seemed like they should be giving relationship advice.”

You giggle something ridiculous and cover your face with your hand a moment, glad you were able to make sense of all that even though you probably didn’t need to bring it up.

“You got anythin’ like a long t-shirt?” He changes the subject as he makes a motion to go upstairs. “I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get pants on you.”

You huff out a sound and rub a hand over your face, most likely smearing makeup in the worst way. “That’s alright, I like bein’ pantless.” You reach over and is happy you don’t tumble, using one hand to hold onto his shoulder to get his attention. “Upstairs, first drawer on the right.”

He’s back and forth quickly; makes you wonder how long you’ve actually been sitting there.

Him undressing you is a blur; you note that he does his best to dip his gaze when he can to give you a little privacy. Just enough that you can figure out that your head doesn’t go into one of the arm holes and assists when you starts whining that you can’t get it right. You throw your wedding dress aside and kicks off your heels, letting out a soft huff when Austin disappears into the kitchen.

He comes back with a warm washcloth that smells like lilac soap and he waits until your gaze focuses on him before he asks whether you can do this yourself.

You nod a little absently, taking the washcloth from him and wiping your makeup off before handing it back to him. You pull as many bobbypins as you can find from your hair and toss them onto the coffee table, pulling your strands back up into a bun before collapsing face first into the couch.

You barely feel the couch dip as you smush your face into a pillow, blankets being draped over your shoulders.

--

When you wake up, you don’t automatically remember where you are.

You lift your head and groan softly, pinching your eyes with your thumb and forefinger trying to get the pounding to stop. There’s a soft blue light casting shadows on the walls of the living room and oh, that’s right, you’re home. Austin brought you home last night.

You swallow and nearly sit up too fast, leaning up on your elbows because oh, oh fuck, now you remember. A wave of nausea crashes down on you for moving and you flutter your eyes closed briefly and hope that helps. When you feels confident enough to fix your gaze on something other than the inside of your eyelids, you turn to look at Austin who’s sitting up in one of the lounge chairs nearby against a few pillows, watching TV.

He didn’t leave. He stayed with you the entire night.

The sound from the TV isn’t loud enough to be heard but you can tell he does this often, eyes on the screen, just absorbing the images that flicker to life. His head dips to look over at you when you move; he looks tired. You really hope he didn’t sit up to just…keep an eye on you, making sure you slept alright.

You clear your throat, the sound scratchy and dry regardless of your trying, “Am I dead?”

Austin smirks a little and stands to come and sit by your legs, handing you a glass of water that’s on the coffee table. “Here. You passed out before I could get you to drink any.”

You sigh softly and close your eyes, moving to sit up further and is glad to see the room isn’t spinning anymore. “Lovely.” You drink deeply after a few tentative sips to make sure you can keep it down.

“You stayed.”

“I did.” Austin’s quiet for a few moments, playing with the corners of one of the blankets. Clearly he’s not going to elaborate. “You got a headache?”

You hum an affirmative response but it’s nothing water and Advil can’t cure. You lean your head back against the headboard, closing your eyes again for a few moments to avoid the blue light spilling into the room from the TV. You give yourself some time to sip your water before you open them again, setting the glass down on the table. There’s cookies there too, from last night. Austin kept them.

You sense embarrassment licking at your nerve endings, feeling a little ridiculous for your behavior. You should really know better than to let yourself go like that, especially since it doesn’t take too many glasses of wine in a row for it to happen.

“Sober?” He asks and there’s a tilt to his voice that you don’t like, far too amused.

You groan and turn your head to look at him, trying to muster up a glare that doesn’t stick. “Unfortunately.” You rake your fingers through your hair, trying to not even think about what you might look like.

You’re just glad you didn’t vomit.

A deep breath settles in and out of your lungs before you turn your head to look at Austin, the light of the TV casting beautiful shadows on his face. Your eyes skitter over the scruff beginning on his jawline and your fingers itch to follow. You clear your throat, getting his attention, and he turns his head to look at you.

“I’m sorry for getting plastered.” You smile a little because he does; that same amusement back on his face, though it doesn’t bother you this time around. “I’m shocked that you do weddings.”

You allow yourself to laugh a little, shaking your head like it’ll somehow clear the fuzzy memories of him bringing you back to your home, tripping over yourself. You regret the way you’ve carried yourself, but a tiny part of you is glad you decided to let yourself go, to enjoy the open bar and let your emotions run a little rampant for once.

You’re so used to keeping everything inside, to holding it all in. For once you didn’t.

Austin’s chewing on words he’s not saying, you can see the hesitance in his expression, wanting to say something but unsure if he should. You wait, don’t press, and eventually,

“Admittedly, I haven’t done a wedding in a while.” He shakes his head, “Because they tend to be messy in a way that I never expect.”

You wince, rubbing the back of your neck because…clearly you hadn’t planned on making a fool out of yourself but Austin quickly continues to explain,

“I don’t mean you.” He turns a bit to lean against the couch, his shoulder pressed along the cushions. Austin licks his lips, his eyes tracing your jawline and lips, slipping down your neck and collarbone enough to make you shiver.

“In your request, you said somethin’ like, ‘I don’t want my ex  to feel like he’s taken something from me. Something that’s mine and will always be mine’.”

You search his eyes for a moment and when his finally meet yours, something warm and aching starts in your chest, blooming outward like a flower only meant to grow at night. You swallow thickly, “You remember that?” Because you kinda…bared you soul in that request for a date service. You hadn’t meant to come across so desperate but…you were also just being honest.

“I have a very good memory,” He attempts to wave this off, and you want to tell him not to—that what he’s saying matters. Austin’s seeing you, over walls you didn’t realize you had up after all this time.

“You said kind of implied that you wanted Todd to regret cheating on you, but I think you really meant that you wanted him to see that he didn’t break you.” He licks his lips and trails his pinky finger along your jawline as he curls loose hair behind your ear. “I’ve met a lot of women in similar situations, and not all of them have handled it like you.”

A laugh slips out of your throat, something you can’t stop. You’re trying to break the tension gathering in the room, something heavy and thick like warm cotton settling over both of you. Handled it? You haven’t exactly done that well, have you? If last night is any indication.

“What, they didn’t hire a male escort and get piss drunk?”

He smiles gently, shaking his head. “They let their exes break them because they couldn’t figure out who they were without them.”

The warmth in your chest threatens to burst and you wish for a moment that you could see yourself the way Austin does, so clearly, like everything is laid out before him, all he has to do is read.

“But not you.” It barely leaves his mouth before you close the distance between them.

The heat erupts in a single kiss, both of Austin’s hands tangling themselves in your hair, pulling it loose from your haphazard bun. He kisses you like you’ve always wanted to be kissed, even though you hadn’t realized it was something that was missing until now.

He inches you forward, forcing you to move until you’re straddling his waist, blankets getting caught and tangled in-between. Anything that’s been building up suddenly releases into you both, like a wave crashing, heated breaths against skin and not being able to get close enough. Austin tugs off your long t-shirt and a shiver travels down your skin as you reach up and automatically unclasp your bra.

You sit there for a moment, almost in the wake of realizing what you’ve done, and you watch Austin’s gaze. His eyes drink you in, hands still on your waist, trailing up your sides, thumb slipping underneath one of your breasts to press against your ribcage. The touch is intimate enough to cause something sharp in your throat, thick swallowing for it to disappear. You lean forward, presses your foreheads together and you kiss again.

You’re fumbling to get blankets down, to move everything out of your way and Austin flips your positions, easing you down onto your back along the cushions. He rifles for something in his suit jacket that’s nearby while you slip your hips up to slide your underwear down and off and away. He’s got too many layers on and you itch to immediately remove his shirt when he’s overtop of you again.

Toned skin greets you and you can’t help but touch, sink your fingers in, drag your nails. The noises that leave Austin’s throat are enough to single handedly build the heat beginning in your lower belly, something you don’t think you ever want to stop hearing. He moves only long enough to take his pants off, tossing them to the side, and he holds your gaze—

He waits.

You swallow and know this is such a bad idea, that nothing good can come from this. But wasn’t it Austin who urged you to figure out what you want? You want to feel confident? Wanted? Good enough?

Then it has to come from you first.

There’s a half-nod in Austin’s direction before he’s slipping a hand down between you, to put a condom on but also—

You moan, rolling your hips as you feel his fingers slide against you, inside of you. He teases, rolls flesh between his thumb and forefinger, lips falling to your neck to leave kisses that eventually find your mouth again.

He takes his time even though you wish he wouldn’t, building you up and letting you down easy before pressing inside. You gasp and your back arches, hips rolling forward, Austin leaning down to capture your mouth again, to absorb your sounds. You wrap your legs around him, which makes moving a little difficult, but you don’t want him to move too far away, want to constantly feel him—keep you both connected.

Austin nips at your lower lip with his own, not taking you long to build up what you’ve started. Pleasure circles in your veins, pulling you towards an end that you doesn’t want to reach yet. He doesn’t stop, keeps moving his hips forward at a quickening pace and you dig your nails into his back.

You barely have time to warn him before you’re cumming, though because your bodies are molded together, you think he already knows—probably knew before you did. He grunts as he loses himself in you, his face falling to your neck, gentle panting and lazy kissing.

You tilt your head back so your throat is exposed, your hands slipping down his back and settling on his waist, his skin a little slick to the touch. He lays there for a long few moments and you take one another in, his chest pressing into your own as you both breathe.

He pulls back too soon for your liking, but you don’t have the energy to tell him to stop. Austin cleans himself up, slipping onto the couch again, this time behind you, and pulls you close. You turn on your side, blankets coming up over your shoulder as you puzzle-piece both of you together, your face hiding in his neck, already falling asleep.

Austin says nothing, which is fine with you, he doesn’t need to say anything. His lips find your shoulder, a few kisses here and there, hands intertwining in your hair.

You finally figure out what you want—

and you want this. You want him.

--

You wake up before Austin does, pulling yourself from the couch and disappearing into the bathroom near the kitchen. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you kinda shake your head before drawing up Jill’s text messages on your phone.

Y/N: I think I messed up.

You wash your face and feel a little more human, sitting down on the closed toilet seat as she pings you back.

Jill: oh no, what happened? Jill: please tell me Austin didn’t turn out to be a serial killer

You laugh, your hand covering your mouth. Jesus. A small, hysterical part of you wonders if that’d be easier to deal with.

Y/N: the wedding went fine, he brought me back home, stayed the night Y/N: may or may not have had sex with him on my couch this morning??

Jill instantly tries to call you and you press the red button—you can’t talk to her when he’s still here.

Y/N: I can’t, he’s still here

Jill: !!!!!! Jill: girl omg— Jill: how was it? 😉

Running a hand over your face, you wonder if you should have ever said anything. Then again, there’s this small smile tugging the corners of your mouth. In general, you know that there’s nothing wrong with what you’ve done—both of you are consenting adults. But then there’s this whole other layer of…paying him to be your date. It’s not like you paid him for sex or anything but…

You kinda can’t help but wonder how many jobs he takes that end up like this.

Y/N: it was perfect but that’s not the point

Jill: so what is the point?

You sigh softly, tapping on your cash app and just…wondering. So many insecurities and questions and wonderings wrapping around you like a blanket, except it’s far too tight, suffocating almost. Taking in a breath, you set your phone down on the counter, looking up when there’s a knock on the bathroom door.

“Y/N?” Austin asks, “You alright?”

Reaching over to grasp the knob, you open the door with a soft smile, “Yeah.”

Austin looks ridiculously adorable slept on. His hair is slightly askew, skin looking warm, a soft, tired look in his eyes. God, you can’t believe he’s been here for so long in these wedding clothes, back in his slacks and a white undershirt.

“I uh,” He clears his throat, “M’gonna head home. Shower, change. But…”

You lick your lips, your stomach flip-flopping with eagerness.

“I was thinkin’ I could come back later; we could talk?”

God, talking sounds like such a great idea. Not to mention you could shower too, put yourself together, feel more like someone capable of having a serious conversation. So you nod with a soft smile—that sounds perfect.

And then—

You can pinpoint the exact moment that Austin glances to the sink and sees the cash app open because his expression changes, like a shadow passing over but instead of dissipating—it stays, darkening the color of his eyes. A breath catches in your throat as you straighten your shoulders, words on your lips and stuck on your tongue. Nothing comes out.

His gaze flickers up from the phone to your eyes and what you see there is like a cold bucket of ice water, anger but…deeper, it’s—

“Not what it looks like.” You finally say, breaking the tension into pieces with a hammer.

Austin hums, nodding his head and licking his lips. He’s trying very hard to speak without sounding annoyed, “What’s it like then?” He asks, the words daggered. “Cause it looks like you were about to pay me for services rendered.”

You shake your head and stand from the toilet on wobbly knees. Austin takes a step back from you, almost like a caged animal, getting ready to bolt. And then you realize, right, he’s not angry, he’s hurt.

“No—”

“Don’t lie to me,” He grounds out, the words chewed on between his teeth.

A shuddered noise leaves your lips because you can tell you’re losing it, this conversation slipping like sand between your fingers. He’s not going to be willing to listen to you if you confirm he’s right, that you had thought about it—if you admit you weren’t sure what you were doing or what sleeping together meant.

You distantly know that this isn’t going to end well, no matter what you say. Austin tore his walls down in front of you, exposed himself, and now he looks like a fool for doing it. Even if it’s on accident, you’ve hurt him, and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to backpedal without looking guilty.

“I thought about it,” You admit after a moment. “I wasn’t…” The last thing you wanted to do was make him feel cheap; you know that this thing started as a transaction but also that something changed last night.

“Nah, it’s good. You were payin’ me to do a job, right?” Austin turns to walk back to the living room, gather up his things. And it’s like…you have no idea what you can possibly say, how you can stop him.

Your legs carry you forward, “Austin, don’t.” You sigh and puts a hand on your lips, suddenly feeling nauseas as he moves too quick for you to stop him.

“Business is business. You can stop feelin’ so guilty,” He straightens his shoulders before grabbing his jacket, slipping it on. Metaphorically it feels like a shield, another layer he’s building back up between them both, shutting you out.

He can’t possibly leave like this, right?

You’re practically stumbling over your own feet as he makes it to the front door, “Please don’t walk away.”

His hand pauses on the doorknob, just for a moment, like he might actually be considering your words. But then he yanks the door open and slams it shut once he’s outside.

You don’t go after him.

--

Time goes on.

You expect that Austin might reach out to you—to apologize, to start over, or maybe even request the unfulfilled payment that he was supposed to receive after the wedding date. But nothing, it’s radio silent…and you think that’s worse.

You want to reach out to him on your own, but you’re not even sure where to begin. How to apologize for thoughts that are incomplete in your head. How to express emotions that are sitting at the bottom of your ribcage.

You’re just hoping for a chance to apologize and explain yourself, even though you’re not entirely sure you deserve it. Is this really it? Going back to business as usual and pretend they never met one another?

You sigh as you hear a few knocks on your door and hate how it feels like hope, quickly moving from your kitchen to tug it open and see Jill on the other side. You give her a small smile, letting her inside,

“I got your twenty texts, you alright?”

You run a hand over your forehead and shake your head, moving towards the kitchen for Jill to follow. You offer her a cup of coffee, sitting back at the counter with your own. Wrapping your hands around the ceramic, you glance up at your friend,

“I screwed up.”

Jill sighs softly, grabbing a cup for the coffee because clearly, she’s going to need it. “Tell me what happened; your texts were all hysteria and no detail.”

You map out the whole thing from start to finish, the chapel, the reception, the night of, the morning after—your voice drops on intimate details, like somehow you have to keep them exactly that. Intimate.

“Damn, Y/N.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, “I know…it was an accident.” You swallow. “The money part, anyways.”

She adds a few spoonfuls of sugar to her mug, stirring. “Does tall, blonde and brooding know that?”

You let your hand fall from your face, eyes focusing out the window above the sink at the city sounds and sights. Suddenly a dark blue gaze rekindles in your memory, the hurt there, wounded and refusing to let you past his boundaries again.

“I tried to tell him; he wouldn’t listen.”

Jill hums under her breath a moment and shuffles, “Maybe give him some time? Try him tomorrow.”

Easier said than done, “I don’t even know where he lives. He’s not going to pick up the phone if I try to call him; texts are useless.”

Your friend’s quiet for a few moments, considering—and then a sound leaves her lips and you picture a lightbulb going off on her facial expression. “But you know where he works.”

--

You stand outside the café that Austin works at for what feels like a long time, staring at the sign and pacing back and forth to your car parked down the street. You really hope no one is watching you because you probably looks crazy; you feel crazy. You can’t just approach this man where he works, can you? You don’t even know if he’s working today.

But it’s…worth a try, right? Like one last shot before you just drop it.

You’re not sure that if the situations were reversed, he’d show up at your front door, so. Or maybe you’re just hoping he would.

So after spending ten minutes contemplating what to do, you finally force yourself to walk up the café door and make your way inside. It’s a hole in the wall but filled to the brim with people at tiny circular tables, waiting in line to place their order with a beautiful blonde cashier and satisfied customers adding sugar and creamer to their coffees at a station to your left.

The heady scent of fresh coffee and baked goods slam into you like a truck, leaving you almost breathless. This place blends in when it should stick out—she wonders if you didn’t know Austin if you’d come in to order an iced coffee just walking by on the street.

Your eyes graze behind the counter until you finally spot him further down, filling baked goods trays in a window that were once empty. A ton of questions hit you at once; did he make those baked goods that are at his fingertips? How does he separate the time between the café and the stand-in job? What are you going to say to him?

Before you can fully approach him, Austin glances up—and spots you.

He’s not happy to see you but he doesn’t look as pissed off as the last time you saw him, so, you consider that progress. You swallow as you walk towards the counter and your hand settles on the top of the glass, the lights above the pastries warming your palm.

“Hi.” That’s it? That’s all you can say? This conversation is going to be just as painful as the last one.

Austin doesn’t have a chance to open his mouth because another worker, a blonde girl, rushes to the counter because she must be on register, “Hi,” She smiles, bright, “We have orange scones on sale today. What can I get you?”

You smile gently at her, glancing at Austin and wondering if he’s going to step in or just…continue not saying anything to you. You suppose you don’t blame him.

“I’ll uhm, take a hazelnut latte and one of those scones,” You nod, reaching for your wallet in your purse, “Thank you.”

“I got the rest of this, Chloe,” Austin steps in as you stick your card into the reader. “Thanks.” He watches her go before turning his attention back to you, customers passing by and receiving orders that he’s already packed at the end of the counter. He hands over your receipt.

“You stalkin’ me now?” He asks but he’s not amused, drumming his fingers on top of the counter.

You let out a slow breath and he moves to fill your order, working the espresso machine with practiced ease, “You won’t text me back.”

“Maybe that’s cause I didn’t wanna talk to you,” He says pointedly before motioning towards your right, “You skipped the line.”

“I didn’t want to order anything, I just wanted to talk.”

He smirks but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes and he grabs an orange scone, wrapping it in a napkin. “Look at you, really learned how to be honest about what you want.���

“You taught me how.” You insist, trying to catch his gaze. When you finally do, you hold it there, trying to will him to listen to you—because you’re not grasping at straws, meeting him, spending time with him…being with him really taught you about parts of yourself that were missing.

Or maybe not missing, exactly, but lying dormant.

“I just want five minutes of your time, please, then I’ll leave you won’t hear from me again.”

Austin lets out a long patient sigh with a shake of his head, something between aggravation mixed with a touch of being impressed—you’re persistent, at least. He’s going to hear you out and suddenly all the words mix in a blender and sink to the bottom of your ribs; you’re almost unsure of how to put this but all you can do is try.

“You’ve been right since we first met; I didn’t know how to want things for myself even though I expected so much out of other people.”

You chew on your lower lip a moment, eyes tracing over the handsome lines of his face—now was not the time to get distracted.

“This whole thing caught me off guard, I wasn’t prepared to want you…and not just as my stand-in date, but you.”

He doesn’t hold your gaze and maybe that’s okay, he busies himself with getting other people orders, keeping the line moving but you can tell he’s still listening to you. He’s still intent on hearing you through…even though you’re almost certain it’s not going to make a difference.

You can tell by his expression, by those walls remaining firm; they’re not budging for you.

Not again.

“The money thing was a mistake. You were right, I did open up my app and think about it because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what this thing was or if I was…imaging how I felt. So I fucked up but…so did you for not sticking around and talking to me.”

Austin’s shoulders straighten; he doesn’t appreciate you calling him out. A rod appears up his spine, his posture almost towering despite the glass case between them.

“I just…that’s it,” You swallow, your thumb running over the scone in your one hand and picking up your finished latte with another. “That’s all I wanted to say. Sorry for disrupting your work.”

You turn quickly, can’t take the look in his eyes anymore, the bustle of other people around you. You’ve said what you needed to—you should feel more complete than before, right? Because at least he knows your side of things.

It’s his turn.

You push the door open, the welcome bell dinging after you as you leave.

He doesn’t come after you.

--

You try to shake your head as Jill orders another shot, but can’t quite stop her because the woman has a mind of her own when it comes to having a good time.

“No,” You crinkle your nose.

Jill laughs, “Oh come on—one more. You’re not calling it early already, are you? We can get fries after this.”

You sigh, a bit dramatically, but how can you turn down fries? “Fine.” You shake your head, running a hand over your face as you sit at the counter of your frequent bar, “I’ll be back though.”

You slide off the barstool, motioning she should save your seat as you put your purse on it. She grins, cups your cheeks with her hands and plants a kiss on your forehead. You shoo her off, moving through the crowd to the restroom. Once you’ve used the bathroom and spend a little time with a cold and wet paper towel to the back of your neck, you come back out and nearly run someone over—

And blink because—

“Austin.”

It’s been a few months since you’ve seen him but fuck, he looks just as amazing as he did when you tried to explain yourself in the café. Wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, boots and a white button down, he’s got a leather jacket on as well, just a bit more scruff to his face.

“I was wonderin’ if you were gonna be here.” But it’s…contemplative, thoughtful, like he might have actually planned on trying to find you in the bar where you met.

You feel like the world might be spinning off its axis. “Here I am.”

He smiles a little, glancing over his shoulder and fuck, you wonder if he’s here with someone and—you’re pleasantly surprised that it doesn’t cause some adverse reaction. No punch in your gut that you completely screwed everything up. Time, it seems, does heal some wounds.

Maybe not heal, scar at the very least.

“I saw you post somethin’ on your instastory and I was…well I was hopin’…” He kinda trails off and two thoughts slam into your body like a freight train. One, he sounds…nervous? Which you feel like is very unlike him, given what you’ve been through together. And second? It actually sounds like he knew you were here and he meant to find you on purpose.

“Can we talk?” He asks, “Maybe outside?”

“Yes,” And god, you hope you don’t say that too fast. “Fresh air sounds good.”

As you begin to walk outside with him, you text Jill letting her know where you’re going (and with who). She sends you exactly three text messages in response that you don’t dare look at.

You take in a deep breath in once you get outside, the cool air settling over you like a bucket of cold water. You almost wish you grabbed your jacket from the bar but…dragging Austin over there towards Jill would have been such a bad idea.

It’s fine—the air is refreshing, a bit sobering and this conversation probably won’t last long either way. Taking in a breath, you turn to look at him, a soft smile on your face as you wrap your arms around yourself.

“So…”

Austin clears his throat, “You uh—?” He motions to his jacket and you’re not quite strong enough to deny his offer, so you gently nod your head. Austin slips off his leather jacket and hands it to you and you put it on.

A soft noise of approval leaves your lips as your arms go through the sleeves, a little bit long, feeling perfect though when you zip it up. The lingering scent of his cologne and skin is enough to almost knock you on your knees.

“Thank you.” You whisper, curling your hair around your ear.

You know that Austin is gathering his thoughts, but waiting almost somehow feels worse. You’re just…not sure what to do with yourself other than stare at him, hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket.

“I shouldn’t have left you like that,” He finally says, “At your place?” It’s like the tension start to unwind from your shoulder at that, you almost have to physically swallow over your words so you can let him speak. “Just…felt like what we did, it was real—and—”

“It was real,” You assure him, can’t allow him to think otherwise, “I know this is going to sound cliché but…opening that cash app had everything to do with me, not you. I wasn’t second-guessing what happened.”

Austin gently waves you off, “It’s not your fault, I—I’m so used to things bein’ a business transaction that I just jumped to conclusions.”

You give him a small smile and it feels good? to be on the same page after all this time but…it’s not like, “It’s okay,” You curl your hair around your ear, “I’m not sure where something like this could go. I wouldn’t ask you to quit a job that’s clearly lucrative.”

Austin nods softly, “Well you don’t have to, because I already have.”

You’re not sure why what he says doesn’t register right away, you’re kinda just staring at him, wrapped up in his leather jacket, people passing you both on the sidewalk as you stand outside this bar.

Then you blink, “What?”

He smirks, running a hand through his hair as he nods, “Yeah, I uh—just didn’t want to do it anymore.”

You feel like your brain might be short circuiting, “But about acting? What about L.A.?”

A soft laugh rumbles in his throat, “I can still do L.A. Bein’ an actor isn’t goin’ anywhere.”

And you know that he still has a café job, that he can find other jobs to satisfy what he wants in terms of collecting money but…somehow you’re worried he’s traded one thing in for another. Even though Austin doesn’t look like he has any regrets as he takes a step towards you. His hands gently rest on your arms, sliding down, like he’s waiting for you to push him away.

When you don’t—

“You're not the only one goin' after what they want.”

You can’t stop a small laugh from slipping from your lips and before you can talk yourself out of it, you press yourself up on your toes and kiss him. His arms wrap around you automatically, drawing you closer, his one hand cupping the back of your neck.

It feels like you’re kissing for a long time, or maybe it’s just felt too long since you’ve kissed. Either way, pulling away makes you feel a bit breathless and Austin smiles, pressing your foreheads together for a moment.

It feels like starting over, or maybe even better, a new chapter.

[shegatsby]

Could I possibly request a fic where Hannibal has reader hidden away in a secret room. Like he keeps her there in her own world kinda like a princess in a tower situation. He keeps her there so she’s safe and doesn’t know what he does. She’s actually pretty happy with the situation because she loves him he loves her yadayada and possible smut MAYBE Will gets to meet her🤭 idk I’m new to requesting also I love your stuff man 10/10

Your day started just like the day before but this time you had a dream. It was about the night he brought you here. You were his patient, had a troubled upbringing with drug addict parents, your earliest memory was sitting on a couch, starving, and watching your parents with needles… you were taken to custody but it was too late. You were scarred for life. You focused on your education till one day you snapped and had to find a psychiatrist.

Doctor Hannibal Lecter

You had read his reviews, whatever you could find about him on the Imternet.

You walked to the luxurious bathroom, your mind clouded with the memories of your first session with him.

It was spring and you wore a milkmaid dress. Since his upstanding reputation you wanted to look “sane” and “presentable”

Wiping your palms on your dress you knocked on the grey door, you had noticed the absence of a secretary but didn’t pay much mind. And he opened the door…

You were awe struck to say the least. He easily standing there in his 3 piece suit, clean shaven and inviting you with his dark maroon eyes. “Hello Ms.Y/LN. Please come in.” You smiled gently and entered. He had 2 stores in the office, at the top there was a balcony which looked like a library, books were wall to wall. Down stairs he had a brown desk with organized materials on it, a fire place, paintings on the walls. He gestured you to sit and he sat across you with his black leather notebook. He cleared his throat and crossed his legs, even though he was sitting he still spoke tall. “I must admit,” he began and caught your attention, you found yourself sitting up tall, matching his aura, “ Ms. Y/L/N, you had sent me a very interesting email.” In order for him to accept a client one must sent an email which he replies in 3 days. “How come?”

He looked into your eyes, yes there was space between you two but you could feel his intensity. “You were straightforward, it almost felt as if you wanted to show me how bad your situation is, so that I’ll reject you. Do you often show your bad side for others to rum away, thus, you don’t have to interact with them?”

His questioning made you drop your jaw, this was his deduction from just the email? You wondered if you should continue and expose yourself to him and also face your fears or just get up and leave.

Hannibal noticed the hesitation in your eyes, he put the book away and did something which left you speechless. There was a cabinet on the wall behind him, he opened it and got a bottle of red wine and 2 glasses. He poured one for you and and extended his hand, “No need to fret Ms. Y/L/N,” you got the glass and felt his touch, “after all, I’m here to serve you.” His tone was less formal than before.

And your story began with him, at first you had your session with him once a month, and office hours turned into coffee dates and dinners.

You used to live alone in a one bedroom flat with yur cat Lucifer, he was a huge black cat thus the name Lucifer came.

One night you were out with your pyschiatrist Doctor Lecter. He invited you out for dinner and to be honest he showed off his wealth and refined palate. You found youself admiring his life style, luxurious yet elegant like the royals. He wasn't shy of showing it to you or making you experience it first hand.

The night was amazing, you were like two normal adults having a nice dinner, both of you lost the titles of doctor and patient and enjoyed each other's company, he drove you home and everything happened that night.

''Did you leave your lights on?'' he mentined the yellow lights coming from your flat, ''No.'' an icy feeling entered your chest, ''I'll come with you to check it, stay behind me.'' he said, his protective side showing, you did as he told you and together you rode the elevator and came to your door which was wide open.

Tears filled your eyes when you saw your home, everything was torn and broken, someone came in and did an arduous damage. Hannibal checked to see if someone was still inside. It was empty, ''Where is your cat?'' and with the mention of Lucifer your hands went to your chest and you started calling for Lucifer, you found him hiding, he was shivering.

''I'm also working with FBI, I know people who can help. In the mean time you're staying with me.'' it wasn't a question or a request, he meant what he said.

''O-okay.'' you were shivering. You picked up Lucifer and you felt Hannibal's hand on the small of your bag, ''Let's get you to the car, and I'll call my friends Will and Jack.''

He got you inside the car and left to make a call and the rest was history.

His house felt like a museum at first but it grew on you over your stay. He gave you the guest bedroom which was bigger than your own, he also went out of his way to collect your precious belongings from your robbed house. It wasn't much just a small bag, Lucifer was the most important to you. Hannibal also liked animals and didn't sany anything about your cat, in fact they got along.

After a week you started to look for a new place to stay, you were having breakfast together, ''What are you doing?'' he asked as he poured you coffee, ''House hunting.'' you replied shortly and saw him dropp the spoon he was holding, this was the first time he lost his composure and he cursed himself, ''Clumsy today.'' he joked and continued, ''You shouldn't rush. I am happy to have you, in my home.''

You looked up to meet his maroon eyes, ''Thank you for everything Hannibal but I don't want to be a burden.'' as your therapist he already knew how you felt. His mission was to convince you to stay. Manipulate you even...

Together you went on house huntings, he was there all the time. After every house he would find something bad about it, neighboors, mold, too pricy etc.

One night you were watching a movie together, it was an old Hollywood classic. ''Don't leave.'' you heard him and turned to face him, he was sitting next to you, his arm on your shoulders, ''What?''

You were startled, ''I don't want you to go.'' he puased the movie, his eyes pleading, ''that night when you house was broken into, I swore to protect you and never let you out of my sight.'' he held your hands, ''Its dangerous outside Y/N, I cannot let you go.''

His tone sent shivers down your spine, he was serious. ''Do you want me to-'' he cut you off, ''Be mine.''

and he leaned in for a passionate kiss.

Since then you were with him, he took care of every detail and let you thrive and pursue your passions such as writing and painting. He was a possessive man and never liked to see your attention go to someone else that's why he introduced you to only one person,

Will Graham. His colleague and friend.

Thank you for reading. :)

[thebarontheabyss]

Happy Halloween to all dead and alive patrons of TBOTA! 👻🎃

Sharing another entry from the archive update if you haven't tried it yet—one that is just perfect for tonight. All other entries are available in the menu or during Chapter 4 of the game!

Have a spooky-but-fun holiday, and see you in the Abyss! 🖤

The Last Recordings of Ibaria Kell’ani

——————▸ Recording 001:

Finally, got this thing working.

My name is Ibaria Kell’ani. I’m a field agent of the Extrarealmic Exploration Institute of Civitas. I was taken hostage by inhabitants of realm C520, for reasons I still can’t figure out.

We were ambushed just a few miles from the gateway right after we descended into the valley. Everything happened so fast.

I… I don’t know where the others are.

When I woke up, I found myself in this chamber. No sign of my team, no sign of my captors—just cold stone walls and… silence.

Shit. I need to think.

——————▸ Recording 002:

An hour has passed since my last recording. Finally managed to calm down.

Let’s see… the important details.

So I woke up in this lavish room, not exactly what I’d call a cell. It’s... unsettling. The bed is large, almost too comfortable, with golden embroidered sheets and a flowing canopy. There’s a faucet in the corner, and a plate of fruit on the bedside table—perfectly arranged, by the way. Fresh, untouched.

Were I not a hostage, I’d give this place a five-star review.

There’s a large window overlooking the valley, and based on the view, I think I’m on the opposite side from where we landed. The elevation is dizzying. It’s way too high to climb down. I thought about making a rope from the bedsheets, but considering how far the drop is, I’d probably fall to my death.

So… let’s file that under Plan Z for now.

Oh, and the door to my room is wide open. Not locked. Not guarded. Just… opened.

I took a peek outside. There’s a huge corridor, stretching in both directions, but it’s too dark to see where it will take me. But I did see some ornate carvings running along the walls, the kind that would take lifetimes to craft.

What a strange prison cell. If that’s even what this is. I called out for my team, but the only thing that answered was my own voice, echoing back.

Nothing. No one. Just silence.

I think… I was hurt during the ambush. There’s a wound on my chest, right above my heart. I didn’t notice it at first—maybe I was in shock. But when I looked, someone had sealed it up. The stitching is crude, primitive. And yet, it doesn’t hurt.

In fact, it’s… warm to the touch.

I’ve been debating whether to leave the room. The open door feels like bait. Like part of some elaborate plan. This realm—C520—has already proven dangerous, and I’m not naive enough to believe my captors would forget to lock my door.

But it’s either that or the window. And I’m not ready to throw myself off a cliff just yet.

I’ll… I’ll keep you updated.

——————▸ Recording 003:

What is this place?

It took some self-convincing, more than I’d like to admit—but I did it. I went outside. Walked through the dark corridor, my flashlight shaking in my hand the entire way.

At the end of the hall, I found a sodden door. Behind it… there’s a worship chamber, or something that resembles one.

Oh, I should mention—my comm device. Still broken. Probably fried during the ambush. So, I’m left with my secondary recording device. It can’t do video, but I’ll keep doing these audio docs, so If anyone ever finds them…

You know, I should probably stop thinking about that.

Anyway, the chamber. It’s huge, like some sort of ancient monastery. Big statues, lined the walls, their faces obscured by time or maybe deliberate damage. I think they depicted warriors, or Gods–or both. Each statue was clutching something—heads. Humanoid heads, held like stone trophies in their cold hands. There were unlit candles scattered across the floor, and carvings covering the walls and ground. It all screamed of some kind of cult-like ritual space.

Wish Agent Joles were here. Her expertise in extrarealmic anthropology would’ve come in handy. I’m just a field agent—a grunt. I’m here to follow the experts, not to play investigator in a nightmare temple.

I wonder where the others are.

The chamber was cold, but the atmosphere was worse than the temperature. I tried to read the carvings, but without my comm device, I couldn't translate them.

There was no exit except for the way I came in, so after a while, I left. Honestly, the whole place gave me the creeps. Those statues… those heads. It felt like they were watching me as I walked away. I know that’s crazy. I know I’m probably just freaked out. But I heard rumours, about the things hiding in some of these realms.

Although, that won’t make sense, right? They scan every realm before expeditions. They check for dangers. And for safety measures, we had a whole squad of security guards. So… how did this happened, for Dominie’s sake? We were supposed to be prepared for some primitive inhabitants. What the hell happened?!

Sorry. Got carried away.

So, when I got back to my room, I downed some water from the faucet. I kind of hesitated before drinking it, but they wouldn’t poison it, right? I mean, there’s no point. They can do whatever they want to me. It’s not like a 5’4" field agent is going to pose much of a threat.

Actually, another thing I don’t want to think about right now.

I need to reassess. The sun—looks like it’s starting to set. I’ll head out again. Try to cover more ground.

Wish me luck.

——————▸ Recording 004:

Hello again. It’s morning already. I was so tired I fell asleep and forgot to record.

So… where do I start? This place is huge. And I don’t mean big in the normal sense—I mean *palatial*. A labyrinth of halls, corridors, and rooms. It took me more than two hours just to make a partial sweep, and I’m not even sure I’ve seen half of it.

There’s a throne room, of all things, sitting empty like its monarch left centuries ago. I walked past more than ten chambers—some grand, like mine, others more bare but still way too fancy to be normal cells. I found a grand hall, kitchens (complete with gleaming silverware and bowls of nothing), and long stretches of corridors leading to dead ends or locked doors.

All of it… deserted.

It’s like a whole kingdom got up and walked away one day, leaving everything behind. There’s no dust, no decay. Just vast emptiness.

No sign of my team, as well. Not a trace. Not a voice. The only sounds are my footsteps and my breathing. I tried the doors leading outside, but they’re all sealed shut, not even a lock or handle to work with. I think… the lock is on the other side?

After a while, I could feel another panic attack creeping up on me. But… I was too damn tired to let it happen. I didn’t have the energy to be scared anymore.

Instead, I stumbled back to my room, drained. The plate of fruit was still sitting there on the bed, so I ate the whole thing in one go. Honestly, I don’t even remember what it tasted like. It could’ve been cardboard for all I care. I just needed something in my system. Then, I collapsed onto the bed and slept.

When I woke up… the plate was full again. Back where it had been yesterday. Fresh fruit, arranged just as perfectly as before.

That’s when I lost it. I yelled—really yelled—until my throat hurt. Not because I was scared. No, I was pissed. Furious, actually. I don’t care what’s going on anymore. I don’t care what they’re planning or what they’ll do to me. I just wanted this stupid, endless suspense to end.

But no one came. No one answered.

No footsteps, no voices, no movement at all.

Nothing.

So here I am again, talking to this recorder like it’s a friend. I’ll… I’ll try another walk around today. There has to be something I missed. Maybe a door I overlooked. Maybe some clue that’ll help me make sense of this.

I can’t give up. Not yet.

My wound seems to be getting better. I mean, it’s not hurting anymore. Just… pulsing a bit. That’s weird, right? It doesn’t hurt, but it’s like there’s a heartbeat just beneath the skin.

I don’t know. It’s the least of my problems right now.

——————▸ Recording 005:

It’s been three days. I don’t think there’s a way out.

I’ve searched every inch of this damned place—every hall, every room, every shadowed corner. And as far as I can tell, the only real exits are the windows. I spent yesterday walking through even more fancy halls and ornate chambers, all just as grand and empty as the rest of this palace.

There’s also a garden, which… well, I have to admit was a nice break. I needed the air. But other than that… Nothing.

Every morning, the fruit plate on my bed gets replenished. I checked it this morning, waiting to see if someone would sneak in while I slept, but… no. No one. It’s magic. I saw it happen. The fruit just appeared, like it was summoned out of thin air.

That’s when I started thinking about Samir. If he were here, with his arcane knowledge, he’d probably be able to figure it out. Or at least, he’d have some theory. But Samir’s not here, is he? No one is. I’m alone.

Maybe someone managed to escape? Maybe all of them did. Maybe I’m the only one unlucky enough to be captured. Maybe… maybe the search parties are combing through the valley, following protocol, marking my absence on some cold, clinical report.

Either way, I need to be patient. I’m not in any immediate danger, right? No one’s tried to harm me, there’s food, there’s water, I’m not hurt… at least, not physically. I just need to keep my head on straight. Just be patient, Ibaria.

I had the strangest dream the other night. I was back in the chamber with the statues—the one with all those warrior effigies. It was snowing inside it—not just cold, actual snow falling from the ceiling. I remember watching it fall on those stone faces. And then one of the statues moved.

She was a woman, tall and armored, a warrior just like the others. But instead of standing there, frozen in place, she stepped down from her pedestal. She walked right up to me, took my hand, and kissed it. Her lips were cold. I could feel them, real as anything. And then she whispered, “It’s going to be alright.”

I thought about searching that chamber again, but honestly… I’m afraid to find her there.

I’m trying to stay focused, to keep some semblance of a plan.

So here’s what I’ve got:

- Plan A: Wait for rescue. Patience. Hope the Institute hasn’t forgotten me.

- Plan B: Try some of the locked doors. See if I can force my way through one of them. Maybe there’s something I missed.

- Plan Z: Jump out the window.

Let’s… hope it doesn’t come to that.

The wound on my chest is still there. It’s not hurting, but that pulsing sensation? Yeah, that’s still happening. Almost like it’s synced to my heartbeat. If I focus hard enough, I can feel it—this subtle thrum beneath the skin, warm, constant.

I can’t figure out if that’s a good or bad thing.

——————▸ Recording 006:

The others are dead.

It’s been two weeks since my last recording. Two weeks of silence. I had no reason to record. No purpose. I’ve just… wandered around this place. Lost, alone. Waiting, I suppose.

Until today.

I dreamed of her again. The woman from the chamber. She came to me every night, standing there in the snow, whispering things I couldn’t understand. But this morning… I didn’t wake up in my room.

I woke up in the chamber.

The cold stone floor was beneath me, and I could see my breath in the air, though I felt no chill. I bolted out of there, heart pounding in my chest. But something made me stop at the door. I turned back. I don’t know why. Maybe it was instinct, or maybe I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something I’d missed.

I searched the chamber again, behind the statues this time. That’s when I found it.

A door.

It was hidden behind a statue. The door was ice-cold to the touch, frost curling along the edges, but I didn’t hesitate. I pushed it open and stepped inside.

And that’s when I found them.

My team.

What’s… what’s left of them.

Their bodies were frozen in place, scattered across a huge, cavernous room. Catacomb-like, the walls were encased in thick ice, but I didn’t feel the cold. It was like the air had been sucked out, leaving only silence, death.

Their chests were split open. Not torn or clawed at—opened. As if something inside them had burned its way out. The skin around their wounds was charred, blackened, but the rest of their bodies were pristine, preserved in the ice.

I found the professor. Sylvia.

She was my mentor. I’ve known her for years. She always had this calm, steady look about her. But now… she looks terrified. Even in death, that fear is etched into her face.

But they weren’t the only ones in that chamber. There were others. Other bodies. Explorers, I think, judging by their clothing. But not just from Civitas. No… these people were from other realms. The styles of their uniforms, the equipment scattered around—it was all different. But their fate was the same. Chest opened, frozen in ice. Like something had devoured them from within.

And then, at the center of it all, a circle of bodies.

My captors.

They were arranged in a circle, lying in perfect formation, like some kind of ritual. All of them dead. I think they poisoned themselves. There was an empty bottle in the middle, the liquid long gone. It didn’t make sense, none of it makes sense.

And at the end of the room I found… her. The statue.

The bronze woman, the one from my dreams, her form still and cold. Covered in ice, just like the rest of the chamber. But there was something about her. She wasn’t just another statue. I could feel it. Like she was watching me. Waiting.

I ran. I couldn’t take it anymore. I bolted back to my room, slammed the door behind me, and collapsed on the bed, my mind racing.

Before I left the chamber, though, I grabbed something—Sylvia’s log. Her personal notes. I’ve been combing through them ever since I got back, trying to make sense of all this.

The final entry… it must have been written just before everything went wrong. It says: *“Someone has interfered with the gateway. We are in the wrong place.”*

I don’t think anyone’s coming for me.

——————▸ Recording 007:

It’s snowing outside.

The valley is white, pristine. It’s been snowing for two days now—relentless, endless. Everything is buried beneath it. The world is so quiet.

There was once an empire here. A pantheon of warrior-gods who ruled this realm. They waged wars—horrible, unending wars. So many dead. Gods and mortals alike. We’re so similar, aren’t we?

And she… she needed someone to save her. Someone to carry her. Not all mortals are capable, she told me. She needed someone who crossed the realms, absorbing void energy. But even then, some… can’t take the weight.

So she had to try, again and again.

I’m… I’m not in control of myself anymore. I wake up in places I don’t remember going to, sleepwalking through this palace. I feel tired all the time, like there’s a weight inside me pulling me down. But she said it’s alright. It’s all part of the process. The cold is everywhere now, but she says my warmth will sustain her.

I was just a field agent. I wasn’t special. I wasn’t important. But she told me I am. I will be. I was the only one who mattered. This place—it’s been waiting for me. All of it. The halls, the statues, my throne. Waiting for me.

To take back my realm.

To lead my people to victory.

To be the war, the snow, the cold.

The wound on my chest—it's healed now. It closed days ago. I feel stronger. Clearer. More… whole than I’ve felt in a long time. I thought I’d lost myself, but no. I came back through.

Thank you, for your sacrifice. It won’t be in vain. You gave me the strength I needed. The strength to do what must be done.

I will take back what’s mine.

[waffledforbreakfast]

Dreams of you - SAE X READER [oneshot]

Sae x Reader , oneshot, angst + comfort(??)

[pt.2 ]

[Kaiser edition (wip)]

[ BLLK Oneshot Masterlist ]

TW: heavy ooc, bad grammar, bad spelling, bad formatting, cringe, scuff, etc.

“I love you, Sae.” “I love you too, [Y/N].” “Please babe. Wake up.” 

Sae shot up, cold sweat running down his body. His hands were shaking and his breath was uneven, how many times has this been now?

26. It had been 26 days since he broke up with you. Why was he still having dreams of your first date? Your loving words and tender affirmations, your smile so bright it had engraved itself in the back of his mind.

It had been a month since he broke up with you, and yet every night your warm touch had seeped into the back of his mind, and into his dreams.

Breaking up with you was meant to help him focus. Not the other way around.

He wondered if it would’ve been better if he just didn’t leave.

“Whatever. What’s been done has been done. There’s no going back.”

He took a deep breath, fingers pressed against the bridge of his nose.

The clock read 4:02 AM. Not that he had to check, it was always 4 in the morning that these dreams released him.

Sae wondered what you were doing in Japan, did you have lunch yet? What were you eating? Who were you eating with? Was it your new boyfri-

“Stop.”

Sae hissed at himself, trying to keep his thoughts in check. He would think of you everyday, he hated it. Whenever he saw your favourite food, he’d think of buying you some. A plushie, would you like it? The cats at the shelter, maybe he should send you a pic…

He grabbed his hair, nails digging lightly into his scalp. It was always you. Why must you haunt his poor heart  head? 

He refused to waste more time on this. He stood up and fixed his bed, a habit he got from you. It was already 4:11, he’d used almost 10 minutes thinking of you again. He clenched his jaw, mentally noting that he didn’t deserve to get himself a sweet treat today, for wasting such time.

But it was better than yesterday’s 18 minutes, right? That’s improvement! Plus, he had trained for 10 hours yesterday as a punishment, so surely it’d be okay to take it easier today, right?

Sae remembered how you used to convince him to take breaks from training with such logic.

He dug his nails into his palm. Enough of you already, he had things to do.

Sae left the apartment, wandering the empty streets illuminated by the streetlamps and the few open cafes/restaurants. 

Sae used to blast music through his headphones to mute his thoughts, but it stopped working after he was reminded that you were the one who handcrafted all the very few playlists of his.

So now he just tried to focus on his surroundings, promptly ignoring any thoughts of you.

He’d been doing this for weeks now, did he feel any better? Would he be happier if he fully got over you? Sae didn’t let himself answer that question.

He was well familiar with the area by now, becoming a regular at any place open at this time around here. There was nothing new for him to focus on.

No no, surely there was something. Wasn’t a new cafe opening somewhere? He could’ve sworn someone handed him a flyer about it…

But truthfully, he could barely remember anything these days. 

Sae pulled out his phone and looked through his gallery to find the picture of the flyer, pretending to not see the dozens of your photos, which he had deleted and re-downloaded multiple times now.

He followed the map towards the cafe, flipping through its online menu. It seemed that the cafe really was new, almost nothing had been set up online, no images, no menu, no reviews. It seemed to be a small struggling business. Sae almost pitied them. If he was capable of such emotions anymore.

Sae pushed open the door, the small bell dangling above it rang a light jingle, notifying the worker that there was a guest

“Oh hello! Uhm… that door was supposed to be locked, haha…”

The poor employee laughed awkwardly, sweating visible bullets.

Sae turned around to look at the door, the rusted lock fell off the frame on to the floor.

The employee gulped, “So, what can I help you with!” She tried to put on a bright smile, since the customer was clearly wealthy, given his looks, there was no way she’d be able to tell him to get out!

Sae looked around, the place really was run down, was it really ready to open?? 

“What do you have?”

“Uhm, let’s see… We have water?”

“...”

“uh- hahaha… just kidding! W-we have other stuff too… uhm- dango, milk tea, tanghulu, pudding, anddd milk?” 

The worker gave a weak smile, Sae was staring right into her eyes, she felt like he’d jump her at any moment!

“Get me two waffles”

“I- sorry?? We don’t offer those, haha…”

She did NOT remember listing waffles as an option, was the guy even listening???

“Oh”

He was not listening

“... Actually- I’ll get that done for you! Give me a few minutes….”

She headed to the back to get his order done.

Shit. Sae impulse ordered waffles again. He doesn’t even like waffles! It was supposed to be your favourite food, not his. Why’d he do that…

He knew exactly why, but refused to admit it.

What was he even going to do with two of them!? The only option really was to scarf it down…

“Uhm… you’ve been staring at me for a while… is there something wrong?”

“Hm? Oh, I wasn’t aware, sorry.”

The worker gave him a skeptic look, as he was still staring, even after the apology. “This guy must be barely awake…”

“Well, here’s your waffles!”

She handed him a paper bag, with clear plastic on one side so he could see inside. Two warm waffles sat, Sae could feel the heat.

“Could I ask, what made you think we were open? No offense or anything- It’s just that the sign on the door said we were closed, and all the flyers said we’re opening next month… I don’t wanna mislead anyone or anything, haha..”

Sae gave a confused look, did he hallucinate…? It wouldn’t be the first time…

He pulled out his phone to check, and sure enough, “GRAND OPENING: NEXT MONTH” was written in bold. How did he miss that???

“Sorry, [Y/N].”

He mumbled, pulling out his wallet, and putting a few hundred bills on the table and sliding it to the worker, “For your troubles”

“Oh! Uhm, Thank you!”

The worker was visibly taken aback, he had given her $750! If she was in a different situation, she probably would’ve insisted on giving it back, but with the way the store was looking, it would go a long way.

Sae headed towards the door, checking the time

“Uhm sir, my name’s not [Y/N] by the way… you can just call me-”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Sae cut her off. He didn’t really care who she was. Now he knew why he was staring at her the whole time, her eyes looked like yours.

“Barely. [Y/N]’s are darker.”

Sae took a waffled from the bag, taking a bite as he walked home

“What am I doing with my life, I can’t even remember Rin’s eye colour but I know her’s? What curse am I under…”

“Maow!”

Sae looked down, a tabby cat was jumping up his leg, reaching for the waffle bag.

“Maowmaowmaowwwwww”

Sae leaned down, squatting as he opened the bag and gave the cat a waffle.

The tabby ate it happily, it seemed well groomed and clean, maybe it belonged to someone?

Sae pet her head, the cat leaning into his touch with a content smile as she purred.

“How cute, they have the same eyes…”

Sae stood up, dusting himself off. He waved goodbye to the cat and continued walking home.

But the cat followed, meowing loudly to get his attention. She didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving.

Sae looked at it for a bit, hesitating. You had always wanted a cat, you even had names prepared. Maybe one day, when you visit, he could show you the cat and convince you to come to his apartment.

“Forget it. She’s never coming back.”

There was no point in keeping the cat, he was never planning on getting one.

And yet he still stared at the cat, the cat staring back with those eyes that he oh so loved, resembling yours.

Fuck it.

Sae scooped up the cat, and continued walking,

“You’re mine now.”

A/N: Teehee! First oneshot :3 this ones inspired by irl events ;) bc i have a crazy rate of dreaming- (daily. And I can remember 75% of the time, which mean my dreams give me crazy amounts of content LMAO)

Hope u like it :3

[xxspringmelodyxx]

That Girl’s A Liar~

Satoru Gojo x F!Reader

Here is part III! I hope you all enjoy<333 Part I Part II

The school bell rang, signaling the end of the day. I headed towards the library, where Kai and I had planned to meet up and go over his strategy to ask Amai out. My mind was still buzzing with thoughts of Toru and the missed chance to talk to him earlier. It had been such a strange, disheartening day. For the first time since we became friends, Toru and I hadn’t exchanged a single word.

We never even crossed paths, our schedules seemingly conspiring to keep us apart. That or we were just too busy with school work to talk. It felt as if a crucial part of my day was missing, leaving an empty void that gnawed at me. The absence of our connection cast a shadow over everything, making the day feel unusually long and painfully lonely.

Entering the library, I spotted Kai at a table near the back, surrounded by books and notes. He looked up and waved me over with a relieved smile.

“Hey, Y/N!” Kai greeted me. “Thanks for coming. I really need your help with this science project, and… you know, the other thing.”

“Of course,” I replied, setting my bag down and pulling out my notebook. “Let’s get started.”

As we began reviewing the material, I noticed Toru entering the library. He paused at the entrance, his eyes scanning the room. When he saw me and Kai sitting close together, his expression shifted. Instead of approaching, he decided to observe from a distance, his curiosity and jealousy piqued.

“So…do you think Amai likes coffee or tea better? I’m thinking about asking her if she’d like to get something with me sometime this week…or maybe next week.” Kai asked, glancing at his notes to mask the question.

I leaned in, whispering back, “Probably tea. She seems like a tea person.”

Kai chuckled, shaking his head. “You think so? What makes you so sure?”

I gasped dramatically, placing a hand over my heart in an exaggerated manner. “You doubt my finely honed abilities to discern whether someone prefers coffee or tea? That is blasphemous!” I declared with mock seriousness, a playful glint in my eyes. “My skills in beverage detection are unparalleled. I can read the subtle signs and nuances of a person’s taste preferences with unmatched precision.”

Kai laughed, leaning back in his chair. "Alright, alright, I believe you. I just want to make sure I do this right. I don’t want to mess up any opportunities given to me."

I smiled reassuringly, leaning in a bit closer. "You won't mess this up, Kai. Just be yourself and show genuine interest in her. Trust me, Amai will appreciate the effort and sincerity. And remember, you've got me in your corner to help you out."

Kai's expression softened, his nervousness giving way to a grateful smile. "Thanks, Y/N. That means a lot. I guess I just need to relax and take it one step at a time."

I nodded, feeling a surge of warmth from our friendship. "Exactly. And who knows, maybe this will be the start of something really great for you."

Toru found a spot behind a bookshelf where he could watch us without being seen. He noticed the way Kai leaned in close, and how I responded with a smile and a laugh. His grip on his bag tightened as he tried to make sense of our interaction.

We both giggled at our own seriousness, finding some levity in the situation. Toru, catching the intimate nature of our conversation but not the details, felt his jealousy deepen. He struggled to maintain his composure as he watched us from the shadows.

“What the hell could he be saying to make you smile like that?” He thought

Kai nudged me, his voice low. “Do you think Amai likes science fiction? I’m thinking of recommending a book.”

I leaned in closer, whispering, “Yeah, I think she does. She mentioned something about liking scientific settings in our last class. Maybe you should talk with her about what her favorite book is or something amongst those lines.”

Toru’s eyes narrowed as he watched us, feeling a pang of jealousy. The way we were huddled together, whispering and laughing, was unsettling for him. What was going on between you two?

Kai looked at me with a mixture of hope and nervousness. “Do you think it’s too soon to ask Amai about her favorite books?”

I shook my head, smiling reassuringly. "Not at all. In fact, asking about her favorite books is a great way to show you’re interested in her likes and dislikes. It will make her feel appreciated."

Kai’s face lit up with relief. "Right. You’re right… I just… I don’t want her to think I’m some sort of creep."

I laughed, rubbing my hand on his shoulder, trying my best to reassure him. "For asking her about her favorite book? Kai, I think you’re being too hard on yourself. You aren’t going to sound like a creep as long as you don’t ask too many personal questions. Just keep it simple!"

Kai nodded, a smile spreading across his face. "Okay, got it. Keep it simple and genuine."

I patted his shoulder encouragingly. "Exactly. You're going to do great, Kai. Like I said, just be yourself and let the conversation flow naturally. Amai will see the real you, and that's what matters most."

He took a deep breath, seeming more at ease. "Thanks, Y/N. I really appreciate your help. I don’t know what I’d do without you."

I grinned, feeling the bond of our friendship strengthen. "Anytime, Kai. I'm always here for you. Now, let's get back to this science project and make sure we ace it."

As you two continued discussing both the science project and Kai’s plans for Amai, Aksana entered the library. She spotted Toru almost immediately and saw him staring at you. With a determined look, she walked straight over to him, her books clutched to her chest.

Toru continued to watch you and Kai, his frustration growing as he struggled to understand your guys’ interaction. Just then, Aksana appeared beside him, noticing his distraction.

"Hey, Toru, can you help me with my homework again? I’m really struggling to understand it," Aksana said, effectively blocking his view of me and Kai.

Toru hesitated, his gaze lingering on me for a moment longer. He wanted to focus on our interaction, to understand what was going on between us.

"Uh... sorry, Aksana, but I am actually—" he began, trying to excuse himself.

"Oh, please, Toru? I really need you!" she begged, sitting down next to him and effectively blocking his view of me and Kai.

He felt a surge of annoyance but forced a polite smile, trying to be nice despite his reluctance. "Alright, Aksana. What do you need help with?" he asked, though his thoughts were still preoccupied with me and Kai.

I glanced over, catching a glimpse of Toru and Aksana together. My chest tightened as I saw them, their heads close together as they worked on her assignment. The way his arm grazed against hers, the way his eyes looked at hers—it all made my stomach churn with an unfamiliar pang of jealousy.

Kai noticed my distraction and gently nudged me. “You okay, Y/N?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied, forcing a smile. “Let’s get back to work.”

We continued studying, but I couldn’t help stealing glances at Toru and Aksana. Every time I looked over, they seemed more engrossed in their conversation, making my heart sink a little further.

The image of them laughing together left a bitter taste in my mouth. The day that had started with a missed connection now felt even more complicated and heavy.

I glanced over again, catching a moment where Aksana playfully nudged Toru. He smiled politely, but there was something distant in his eyes, a flicker of the tension I knew he was trying to hide. Yet, the way they interacted still made my heart clench with jealousy.

Kai’s voice pulled me back to our conversation. “So, when do you think is the best time to ask Amai about her interests? I don’t want to come off too strong.”

“Maybe start with something light,” I suggested, trying to keep my focus. “Talk about school, then gradually bring up hobbies and books. It will feel more natural that way.”

Kai nodded, absorbing my advice. We continued to work, but my mind kept drifting. I noticed that Toru would occasionally glance my way, his expression unreadable. Each time our eyes almost met, Aksana would say something to draw his attention back to her.

Eventually, Kai suggested a break. “Hey, Y/N, why don’t we take a break and go to the café down the street? My treat for all the help you’ve been to me.” Toru’s expression darkened as he overheard Kai’s suggestion. The mention of our usual spot hit him hard. He watched as I hesitated, torn between helping Kai and the implications it might have for Toru. Maybe it would be for the best. It would help keep my mind off of him and Aksana.

“Sure, Kai. Thanks,” I finally said, trying to keep my tone neutral.

Kai beamed, completely oblivious to the tension. “Great! Let’s go.”

We packed up our things and headed out, leaving Toru and Aksana behind. Toru watched you both leave, his hand breaking his pencil in half from the jealousy and frustration he felt.

*****

I stirred my tea with my straw, struggling to drink it as I was lost in thought. My mind kept drifting back to Toru and Aksana, and the unsettling feelings it stirred within me. Kai took notice of my distraction and leaned in, concern etched on his face.

“What’s up, Y/N? You seem really out of it,” Kai asked gently.

“Oh, it’s nothing, Kai. Really,” I replied, trying to brush off my feelings with a weak smile.

“Come on, I know self-deception better than anyone. Now, what’s going on?” he pressed, his tone sincere and encouraging.

I sighed, putting down my straw and looking up at Kai. His eyes were filled with genuine concern, and I knew I couldn’t hide my feelings any longer. “It’s just… seeing Toru with Aksana today. It made me realize how much I miss talking to him. We didn’t even get to see each other at all today, and it felt so… empty.”

Kai nodded thoughtfully, a hint of realization dawning in his eyes. “Do you… like him?” he asked, a small smile making its way to his face as he saw me look away from him.

I felt my cheeks heat up, and I avoided his gaze, fiddling with my straw. “I… I don’t know, Kai,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Oh, so you do like him!” he yelled, his eyes lighting up at the news.

“Will you keep it down, Kai?! The whole world doesn’t need to know!” I exclaimed, placing my hands over his mouth to muffle his excitement. My heart raced at the thought of anyone else overhearing our conversation.

Kai laughed, gently moving my hands away. “Alright, alright, I’ll keep it quiet. But wow, Y/N, this is big! No wonder you seemed so distracted today.”

I sighed, my shoulders slumping as I looked down at my untouched tea. “Yeah, it’s a lot. But just looking at him makes me feel so happy. His smile, his voice, his eyes…even his dumb jokes and antics make my heart flutter.

Kai laughed, making me look up at him.

”Why don’t you tell him?”

”I tried! But every time I try to, its like the universe always seems to find a way to stop it from happening.” I explained.

”Not only that… but stupid Aksana keeps butting in, so I can never get any time alone with him,” I finished, frustration evident in my voice.

As Kai was about to say something, he noticed the weather changing. The clouds began to circle around in the sky, making him look down at me with concern.

“Uh… Y/N?” he asked, pointing towards the outside.

I turned and rolled my eyes, realizing what was happening. “Damnit. Sorry,” I said, quickly taking a deep breath to regain control. Within a few seconds, the clouds disappeared and the sun began to shine once more.

Kai watched in awe, his expression a mix of surprise and admiration. “Wow, you really do have a unique and powerful cursed technique. I forget sometimes.”

I shrugged, feeling a bit embarrassed. “Yeah, it tends to react to my emotions. It’s something I’ve been trying to control better. But now Im seeing that I need to work harder on that…especially if something like this is getting to me.”

“Don’t feel bad about it. Love is a powerful thing. It can make even the strongest of people lose control.” He said, making me ponder.

”Listen, thank you for the tea, Kai. It was so sweet of you…but I better get going. I have some things I need to sleep on tonight. How about we meet tomorrow during lunch and we can go over the plan some more and you can finally get some interaction with her.” I said, quickly leaving the cafe, not giving him any time to respond.

As I stepped outside, the fresh air helped clear my mind. I walked all the way back to my home, my thoughts swirling with everything that had happened. Once inside, I went straight to my room and face-planted into the bed, letting out a long, frustrated sigh.

As I lay there, the events of the day replayed in my mind. Every missed chance to talk to him, every moment he spent with Aksana instead of me—it all seemed to point to one conclusion. What if the universe was trying to tell me something? What if Toru and I were never meant to be more than friends?

I shook my head, trying to push those thoughts away. I couldn’t give up so easily. I needed to talk to Toru, to clear the air and find out how he really felt. But the fear of rejection, of ruining our friendship, weighed heavily on my heart.

Rolling onto my back, I stared up at the ceiling, Why did things have to be so complicated? All I wanted was to be close to Toru, to share everything with him, to hear his voice….I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing thoughts. “Get a grip, Y/N,” I muttered to myself.

I don’t know whats going to happen to us in the future…but I do know that I am going to make sure I get alone time with Toru tomorrow…no matter what. I need to see him…and just him. With that resolve in mind, I closed my eyes and tried to drift off to sleep.

—With Satoru—

“I don’t know what the fuck to do, Suguru! It’s like he’s completely replaced me!” Satoru exclaimed, running his hand through his hair in frustration. The usually composed and confident young man was now a bundle of nerves, his eyes reflecting the turmoil he felt inside.

Suguru leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching his friend with a mixture of concern and sympathy. “Calm down, Satoru. Tell me what’s going on.”

Satoru sighed, pacing the room. “It’s Y/N. I’ve barely gotten to spend time with her, if any at all. She’s too preoccupied with that boy Kai. It’s like she doesn’t even notice me anymore. And seeing them together... it hurts, Suguru. It fucking hurts.” The words tumbled out of him in a rush, each one laced with the raw pain of unrequited love and the sting of jealousy.

Suguru nodded, understanding the depth of his friend’s anguish. He had witnessed the way Satoru looked at you, talked about you, even thought about you. He knew how much you meant to him. “Okay, first, you need to try and relax man-“

”How can you say that? You know how I feel about her. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about her. I miss her so much…I love her so much.” He started, looking down at his bandaged arm where you helped him. The memory of your gentle touch and kind words only made the pain sharper.

”i just…I thought maybe she might’ve felt the same for me.” He said, his voice breaking in defeat. Suguru lifted himself off the wall and walked towards his best friend, placing a hand on his shoulder.

”Listen man, I get it. I know how much you love her, and maybe it feels like she’s slipping away. But I feel like all of this is just a big misunderstanding. Maybe there’s something going on between those two that you don’t know of.”

”Like what? Like them dating? Do you think they are dating?” Satoru interrupted, his eyes widening in fear at the realization. The mere thought of you being with someone else made his heart ache with a pain he couldn’t bear.

”What? No! I'm just saying that maybe there is more to the story than you think. You need to talk to her. You need to finally let her know how you feel. Maybe then…all will be revealed.” He suggested. To be honest, Suguru wasn’t sure what you were doing either. He could’ve sworn you were absolutely head over heels for Satoru just as much as he was for you…did he interpret your feelings wrong? Could it be true that you moved on from his best friend to another boy?

“It’s not that simple,” Satoru replied, his voice tinged with desperation. “Every time I get close, something or someone gets in the way. Trust me, I want to tell her! I want to be with her so bad, to just hear her beautiful voice, see her beautiful smile… but instead, I end up seeing her with Kai...and hes the one getting all of those things that I want. it’s like a knife to the heart.”

Suguru placed a reassuring hand on Satoru’s shoulder. “Then make her see it. Show her what she’s missing.”

Satoru's eyes lit up with an idea. “You’re right. Maybe if she sees me with someone else, she’ll realize what she’s missing. Maybe I need to make her jealous.”

Suguru’s eyes widened in alarm. “No, that’s not what I meant! I was trying to say that you need to be honest with her, not play games.”

But Satoru, being himself, was already forming a plan in his head. “Thanks, Suguru! You’re a genius. I’ll show her that I can move on too. Maybe then she’ll realize how much she misses me.”

“Satoru, you fucking idiot, wait—” Suguru began, but it was too late. Satoru was already heading out the door, determined to put his plan into action.

Ignoring Suguru’s protests, Satoru sought out Aksana. If making Y/N jealous was the way to get her attention, then he would go all in.

*****

It didn’t take too long before Satoru found Aksana. There she was, in the library, engrossed in a book.

“Aksana, hey,” Satoru said, putting on his most charming smile.

Aksana looked up, surprised. “Oh, hi, Satoru. What’s up?”

“Do you want to hang out? Maybe grab a coffee or something?” Satoru asked, trying to sound casual.

Aksana’s face held a sinister smirk. Had all the work she put into getting close to Satoru finally paid off? “Sure, I’d love to,” she replied, her voice dripping with satisfaction as she sensed an opportunity unfolding before her.

As they walked out together, Satoru couldn’t help but glance around, hoping Y/N would see them. Suguru’s words echoed in his mind, but he pushed them aside. This had to work. Y/N had to realize what she was missing.

Meanwhile, Suguru watched from a distance, shaking his head. “This is going to backfire spectacularly,” he muttered to himself. He could only hope that Satoru would come to his senses before it was too late.

”What the hell is he doing?” Shoko asked, showing up out of nowhere. Suguru looked down at her and shook his head.

”Something he's going to regret.”

—With you—

Well…your plan to get alone time with Toru plan went to shit. Weeks had passed, and you hadn't had a single opportunity to be alone with Toru. Each time you attempted to get close, someone inevitably interrupted—most often Aksana. It was almost as if she had a sixth sense for when you wanted to speak with him because she was perpetually by his side. The way she clung to him made it appear as though he were her boyfriend, the two of them always in close physical proximity. People around you even started saying how cute of a couple they would be.

If you wanted to talk to him before class, it was too late—Aksana had already walked with him to school before you even had a chance. Trying to catch him during lunch was futile because Aksana had preemptively whisked him away to a nice place to eat. Attempting to speak to him after school was equally hopeless since she was already monopolizing his time, ostensibly to get help with her “homework.” It was driving your emotions into turmoil, and consequently, the weather seemed to mirror your inner state.

Days that were forecasted to be sunny turned out to be rainy, and days that were supposed to be mildly windy saw unexpectedly strong gusts. There were even some days that would have a mix of both snow and rain. All because of you. Shoko, Kai, and Suguru quickly noticed the change in you and attempted to reach out, but you were so consumed by your own emotions that you began to shut them out. The frustration and longing were driving you to the brink of insanity, and you could feel your sanity slipping away with each passing day.

What made matters worse was that you started to notice how much closer Toru and Aksana were getting. Almost too close. You still remember the day you were in the lunchroom with Kai, preparing him to go talk to Amai, only to see Toru and Aksana leaving the school premises together. They were laughing with one another, their heads close as they shared a private joke. The sight made your heart ache, a deep, painful throb that you couldn’t ignore.

Kai, noticed your sudden silence, and he followed your gaze. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, his voice tinged with concern.

You tore your eyes away from the scene, forcing a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you lied, the words tasting bitter in your mouth. “Just lost in thought.”

Kai gave you a skeptical look but didn’t press further. “Well, if you need to talk, you know I’m here for you, right?”You nodded, appreciating his support but feeling helpless. “Thanks, Kai. I appreciate it.”

As the days passed, the growing closeness between Toru and Aksana became increasingly difficult to ignore. They seemed inseparable, and every time you saw them together, it felt like a dagger twisting in your heart. You felt a mix of emotions—hurt, jealousy, and a strange sense of betrayal. Why was Satoru spending time with Aksana? Had you misread the situation all along? Did Satoru really not feel the same about you as you did about him? The thought was almost too painful to bear. You could’ve sworn he…you thought he…well maybe…maybe he just didn’t love you after all….

*****

The following day, you decided to go to the cafeteria to grab something quick to eat. You and Kai were close to being done with the science project, and he and Amai were becoming closer and closer each day. He managed to build up enough courage to take her out to eat, so you were left alone. Now, you had some time all to yourself to just relax. It was a rare moment, but it meant that you got to actually sit with Shoko, Suguru, and Satoru.

As you made your way, the cafeteria’s usual cacophony of voices and clattering dishes seemed to fade into the background. You spotted Shoko and Suguru sitting together, but no sign of Toru. You went over to the table Shoko and Suguru were at, and forced a smile, trying to shake off the sense of dread that had been gnawing at you. As you sat down, you heard Toru’s voice from afar. Your eyes involuntarily drifted to the direction of his voice and found Toru and Aksana entering the lunchroom, talking amongst themselves about something random.

They were standing close, their heads almost touching as they shared a private joke, their laughter mingling with the ambient noise but somehow standing out painfully to your ears. The sight made your stomach churn with jealousy and hurt, a physical manifestation of the emotional turmoil that had become all too familiar.

Every giggle from Aksana and every smile from Toru felt like a dagger to your heart. The way they seemed so at ease with each other, so effortlessly close, was unbearable. You had always cherished the moments when Toru smiled at you like that, but now those moments seemed to be slipping away, replaced by this growing bond between him and Aksana. It was a bitter pill to swallow, seeing someone else enjoy what you longed for so deeply.

Suguru, sitting across from you, noticed your pained expression and turned to look at Toru and Aksana. He scoffed in disgust, completely in disbelief at what his best friend was doing. “Unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath, shaking his head in frustration. He couldn’t fathom how Toru could be so oblivious to your feelings, so wrapped up in his plan to make you jealous that he didn’t notice the hurt he was causing you.

Shoko, on the other hand, looked like she was ready to strangle both Toru and Aksana. Her eyes narrowed in anger as she watched them, her fists clenched tightly on the table. “This has to stop,” she whispered to Suguru fiercely, her voice barely containing her rage. She had seen the toll this situation was taking on you and it infuriated her to see her friend in such pain.

Both Suguru and Shoko had witnessed your frustration and heartbreak over the past few weeks. They had seen the light dim in your eyes and the smile that no longer reached your lips. It pained them to see you like this, to see someone they cared about suffering in silence. They exchanged a look, silently agreeing that something needed to be done to end this misery.

“Hey, Y/N,” Shoko said, her voice softer now as she turned her attention to you. “Are you okay?” Her eyes were filled with concern, and you could tell she was genuinely worried about you.

You forced a smile, trying to mask the turmoil inside. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you lied, though your voice betrayed your true feelings. The lump in your throat made it hard to speak, and you could feel the tears threatening to spill over, but you fought to keep them at bay.

Suguru leaned forward, his expression serious and earnest. “You don’t have to put up with this, you know. We’re here for you,” he said, his tone comforting yet firm. He wanted you to know that you weren’t alone, that you had friends who cared about you and wanted to help.

And you were grateful. Truly. But the emotions were overwhelming, and you couldn’t bear to delve into them any further. You sighed deeply and placed your head in your hands, trying to steady your breathing. “Can we not talk about this… please?” you asked, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. The sight of Toru and Aksana together was like a constant reminder of what you couldn’t have, and it was tearing you apart. You just needed a break. A break from it all.

“Of course...” Shoko replied softly, her worry for you still evident in her eyes. She exchanged a glance with Suguru, both of them silently agreeing to shift the conversation away from the topic that was causing you so much pain.

“Well, how about we talk about training then?” Suguru suggested, his tone lightening in an attempt to lift the mood. “I heard Sensei Yaga is having all of us go out later today for a practice exam on our form to see where we are at.”

Your eyes widened in surprise and mild panic. Was that today? Just when you thought you might get a break, now you were bombarded with the realization that you had to use your abilities to get a good grade. The stress of everything was beginning to weigh heavily on you, and the thought of the upcoming practice exam only added to your anxiety.

“Great,” you muttered, your voice tinged with sarcasm. “Just when I thought I could relax, now I have to worry about my form and performance.” You ran a hand through your hair, feeling the tension building up inside you.

Suguru gave you a sympathetic smile. “I know it’s a lot, but maybe it’ll be a good distraction. Focusing on training could help take your mind off things for a bit.”

“Yeah, and you’re really good,” Shoko added, her tone encouraging. “You always impress Sensei Yaga. Just think of it as another chance to show what you can do.”

You nodded, appreciating their attempts to cheer you up. “I guess you’re right. It’s just… everything feels so overwhelming right now. I’ll try to focus on the training and give it my best shot.”

As the conversation shifted to the details of the practice exam and various training techniques, you found yourself gradually relaxing. It wasn’t a complete escape from your thoughts about Toru and Aksana, but it was a temporary reprieve. For now, you could channel your energy into preparing for the exam and proving your skills.

The laughter and chatter of the cafeteria buzzed around you, blending into the background as you listened to Shoko and Suguru discuss strategies and tips. You took a deep breath, letting their words wash over you, and tried to find some semblance of peace in the midst of the chaos that had become your life.

Just then, your phone buzzed with a new message. Glancing at the screen, you saw it was from Kai. His words caught your attention right away.

“Meet me before our practice exam today. I’m going to finally ask Amai out… and to the dance… but I want to practice what I’m going to say. I need you to pretend to be her,” he wrote.

Despite the whirlwind of emotions you were feeling, a small smile grew on your face. At least someone in your life was going to have a good ending… hopefully. The idea of helping Kai with his romantic plans provided a glimmer of positivity in your otherwise turbulent day. It was a reminder that not everything was bleak and that happiness was still possible for those around you.

You quickly replied, typing out a response with a renewed sense of purpose. “Sure, I’ll meet you in our science class. We can practice there,” you texted back, feeling a bit lighter.

“Y/n…we need to tell you something. It’s about Satoru and what he’s been doing. Just please be ready to-“ Suguru started before being cut off by your voice.

“Hey guys, it was wonderful talking to you both… but something just came up and I gotta go. I’ll see you guys later today!” you said, not hearing a word they were saying before getting up and leaving, trying to muster the enthusiasm you no longer felt.

As you walked away, Toru’s eyes followed you, noticing the small smile on your face that barely masked your true feelings. His heart began to race with anticipation, a flicker of hope igniting within him. Were you finally going to come to him? Were you going to hug him and let him hear your voice that he had been longing for? He missed the way you used to laugh, the way you used to share everything with him.

Just as you made it a few feet away from him, your eyes locked with his, making both of you pause. For a brief moment, the world seemed to stand still, and all the noise of the cafeteria faded into the background. His heart pounded in his chest, a flicker of hope igniting within him. This was the moment he had been waiting for, the moment he had dreamed about during the countless sleepless nights. He wanted to reach out to you, to bridge the painful gap that had grown between you.

However, before he could make a move, you averted your eyes and walked in the opposite direction, directly ignoring him. He felt his heart shatter right then and there from your actions. The small glimmer of hope that had sparked in his heart was extinguished in an instant. Every step you took away from him felt like a crushing blow, each one more painful than the last. The rejection was a raw, agonizing wound that left him reeling.

“Y/n…” He muttered under his breath.

—————

Part IV coming soon!

Taglist: @goreedo11

[seidenapfel]

2024 in Review

In 2024, I posted 17 fics, ranging from 334 to 27,731 words. Although I feel I joined too many bangs this year, only six fics were bang collabs. Addionally, there were eight art collabs as well. I haven't counted the art pieces, though. However, it probably felt that much because there are nine collabs I'm currently working on for 2025. So, if you like my fics and art, please subscribe to me on AO3 for fics and art, and/or follow me on Tumblr.

Making a List, Checking it Twice (Rated: E | Word Count: 1,369)

Summary: Dean forgets a naughty list in the kitchen. There's only one person/angel who can have found it.

The year started smutty with my first fic for the 12 Days of Smutmas.

Heating Up a Snow Cave (Rated: E | Word Count: 2,907)

Summary: Caught in a blizzard, Cas and Dean have to find a way to warm each other up.

My second fic for the 12 Days of Smutmas.

You Ain't Him (Rated: T | Word Count: 840)

Summary: “Dean?” Dean winced. No. It couldn’t be. His entire body started to tingle as the gravel voice vibrated through him. A voice he thought he would never hear again. This wasn’t happening. He was gone. He was—

A little birthday fic for Dean Winchester.

Books, Pies, and Roommates (Rated: E | Word Count: 27,731)

Summary: Everything seemed easy when Castiel landed a job in Lawrence as a literature professor at KU. He even found a place to stay with his cousin in Topeka. But the daily commute quickly gets on his nerves and he begins looking for a room in town. When he finally lucks out on a house, it comes with a catch. His mysterious landlord/housemate works and lives in Topeka during the week, and will only be at home for the weekend while Castiel is back at his cousin’s to honor a promise he made. When Dean walks into his favorite pie shop, the new sales assistant takes his breath away. Steve is gorgeous, and part of the owner’s family. Dean doesn’t even mind that he picks up Gabriel’s stupid moniker for him. After all, Deano has one syllable more, and Dean will do anything to hear Steve’s voice just a little bit longer. Though, as breathtaking Steve might be, he isn't Angel. If only Dean's book-loving best friend weren't a mystery in himself — a guy who Dean has only met online, but who has slowly taken his heart away. And it seems that Dean isn't alone in his feelings. When the lines blur and fantasies merge three guys into one, disappointment and heartbreak seem to be inevitable.

Pinefest ( @deancaspinefest ) is always one of the highlights of the year and this year @kitshay claimed my fic and created some beautiful pieces. Besides, I had a great time writing this two-person love hexagon.

Maybe not yet, but eventually (Rated: T | Word Count: 1,032)

Summary: Screaming, Dean wakes from a nightmare, trapped inside his memories.

This is the first of several time stamps this year. This one was for my 2021 DCBB fic Maybe not a comedy (according to Jack), but he likes the happy ending that can be read as a standalone.

Setting Sail (Rated: T | Word Count: 334)

Summary: 1805: Nodding at Lieutenant Davies and Midshipman Alfie, and leaving command with Lieutenant Hester, Castiel walks towards his cabin when he sees him.

Another timestamp, this time for my 2022 Regency Big Bang fic Forty Shillings on the Drum. Written for the Tumblr May Trope Mayhem. Can be read as standalone.

Maybe not magnificent, but damn awesome (Rated: T | Word Count: 1,137)

Summary: Movie nights aboard the Impala have become something of a routine after they reunited Sam with his family on Terra. Once a week, Charlie picks some classic movie from back in the days, and their little found family comes together in the living room.

Timestamp number three, once again for my 2021 DCBB fic Maybe not a comedy (according to Jack), but he likes the happy ending. Another entry for the May Trop Mayhem. Should work as standalone.

Filling the Empty Space in My Heart (Rated: T | Word Count: 5,035)

Summary: After Cas let himself be taken by the Empty, Dean's life continues in a blur. Only Jack keeps him going, who has turned himself into an actual four-year-old boy after defeating Chuck and giving up the majority of his powers to stabilise Heaven. However, Dean knows he isn't good enough to raise a nephil. Jack needs his dad. And there might be one way to bring him back. Even if it leads Dean back to Hell, and beyond.

Inspired by an art piece for the DCRB 2024 where I ended up empty handed, and written for the Profound Bond Gift Exchange as a gift for @thecadenceimperfect. With art by me. I later wrote a smutty timestamp as well called:

A Place to Stay (Rated: E | Word Count: 3,157)

Summary: After getting back from the Empty, Dean’s entire body tingled, too edgy for his skin. He barely paid attention to the others and couldn’t stop fidgeting since he had returned to the library and joined them once again at the table. Cas’ presence was electric, pulling him into its orbit. Dean felt it in every fibre of his being as he slumped down on the chair next to him. Echoes of Grace pulsed through him, and for the first time since Cas pulled that stupid stunt and let himself be swallowed by the Empty, Dean felt alive.

TFW 2.0: Siren Adventures (Rated: E | Word Count: 4,727)

Summary: After Charlie and Sam's plan to save Cas and Dean goes sideways, Charlie doesn't give up. There must be another way. When she finds help in an unsual ally, the future is suddenly starting to look brighter.

My Crack in the Chassis catch ( @crack-in-the-chassis ) for @notreallyaroad 's fic TFW: Just Add Water. At first, I claimed for art, but due to the special kind of bang, we agreed for me to write an alternate ending / fix-it as well.

A Part of Me Shall Still Remain (Rated: T | Word Count: 6,918)

Summary: In 1805 Commander Castiel returns home after long years at sea. The Battle of Trafalgar has left him a broken man. For years, he shuns society and withdraws to his estate, until a scandal involving Sir Castiel’s disgraced cousin and a young noblewoman shakes the ballrooms of London and Bath. It introduces him to a doomed woman, who not only does approve of his deepest secrets, but who also does give birth to a child that will alter the commander’s life forever.

My fic for the Dadstiel Bang ( @dadstielminibang ) with stunning art by @twinone1221. This fic is set in the verse of my 2022 Regency Big Bang fic Forty Shillings on the Drum, but can be read as standalone. I had two other collabs for the Dadstiel Bang, both art.

Everlasting Fall (Rated: E | Word Count: 3,136)

Summary: Tendrils of Grace trickled from Dean’s fingers as his hand ghosted along Castiel’s flank. Gasping, Castiel shivered and Dean smiled. “You like that?” Stripped of their combined Grace for the night, Castiel gives himself over to Dean, ready to be taken apart.

Another timestamp because after demon and angel smut, I wanted to write some Grace kink. Set in my Calming the Weather verse.

That's Purrfect (Rated: T | Word Count: 1,262)

Summary: Castiel would do anything for him. He would level entire civilisations for Dean Winchester, or dress as a cat — it didn’t matter as long as Dean was happy.

Another Halloween fic to add to my annual tradition, and the only fic I managed to write for Suptober this year.

Highly Professional (Rated: E | Word Count: 25,565)

Summary: On his first day of college, Dean feels like a fish out of water. After years of working his ass off with several jobs at once to fund his brother’s studies, his family and friends have decided to pay him back. That’s how he finds himself panicking in the lecture hall. Thankfully, a fellow student distracts him. She promptly becomes a good friend, and Dean has no idea how badly he will need her. The moment he lays eyes on his physics professor, Dean is lost. Castiel Novak seems like the man of his dreams. And when the professor’s son appears from under the podium, several lives take an unsuspected turn.

My fic collab for the DCBB 2024 with wonderful art by @sasanka-27. I started this fic for the Dadstiel Bang, but changed it for the one I ended up with.

Your Own Personal Heaven (Rated: T | Word Count: 3,004)

Summary: After arriving in Heaven, Dean's nursing a beer in the crowded and snowed-in Roadhouse when the door opens and Cas enters. Crowding him, Dean makes out with him in front of everyone present, believing that he is stuck in his personal Heaven and none of it is real.

I haven't shared this Christmas fic on Tumblr before because I was too busy with bang collabs and the holidays. Inspired by a prompt by @macy2me.

It's a Stabby Life (Rated: T | Word Count: 4,370)

Summary: Dean Smith’s life as Director of Sales and Marketing at Sandover seems perfect. If there weren’t the dreams, and his new colleague. When he runs into Castiel and accidentally stabs him with a knife in the cafeteria, the guy walks away as if nothing happened. Maybe it didn’t and Dean is simply overworked. But then it happens again, and again, and Dean’s perfect life slowly falls to pieces.

The first of two fics for @deancas-stabfest. @arlington-chamber-of-gay claimed it an created beautiful pieces for the stabs. I had never written Dean Smith before, so this was really fun.

Gonna Find Out Who's Naughty or Nice (Rated: T | Word Count: 8,859)

Summary: During a case involving an entire coven of witches, Dean tries on a Santa hat. Nothing seems wrong, until he can’t remove the hat. Jingles start following his every step while his body changes. Slowly at first, then faster and faster, until he can’t hide it any longer from Sam and Castiel: Dean is transforming into Santa, and there seems to be no way back.

My Stabfest collab number two is the last fic for this year. This time, I claimed a wonderful art piece by @masoenart. It was the second collab with @masoena this year after our collab for the Midam Bang during the summer where our roles were reversed. One reader called this fic Christmas horror. I just had a lot of fun writing it.

Art Collabs

(you find the links to the fics when you follow the links to the art, either on AO3 or Tumblr)

Destiel Pinefest 2024: Art for 'Given to Fly' by MittenWraith, colalb with @mittensmorgul [art on Tumblr]

Bottom Cas Big Bang 2023/2024: Art for 'Raising Kids, Finding Love, the Family Business' by Mydestielbabies_67, collab with @spnisthewayoflife [art on Tumblr]

Dadstiel Mini Bang 2024: Art for 'Make a Wish' by Avonlady, collab with @avonlady42 [art on Tumblr]

Art for 'Always Memorable' by golbygloom, collab with @golby-moon [art on Tumblr]

Crack in the Chassis 2024: Art for 'TFW: Just Add Water' by notreallyaroad, collab with @notreallyaroad [art on Tumblr]

Midam Bang 2024: Art for 'Breaking Light — A Future Earned' by Masoena, collab with @masoena [art on Tumblr]

DCBB 2024: Art for 'Marriage of Heaven, Hell & Humanity' by draechaeli, collab with @draechaeli [art on Tumblr]

Stabfest 2024: Art for 'Monsters and Men' by FriendofCarlotta, collab with @friendofcarlotta [art on Tumblr]

Over the summer, I also posted several sketches I drew in my sketchbook.

And I posted some photos taken at PurCon which ended up my most shared posts of the year.