#maybe i should become like my instagram self and tag w only one tag and call it a day

[levia-san]

Long Qi (龙七)

ft small Qi on his way to rescue SJ

im so proud of him

[mytrashs-blog]

Movie Star

Pairing: BFF! Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Angst, SO MUCH ANGST, swearing, Tom being an asshole, there’s a mention of an injury...

Summary: Tom is your best friend, but fame can change a lot of things.

Word Count: 2,609 (Probably the longest one piece I’ve done)

A/N: So! This is an entry for @unholyhaz and @spidey-waffles11 #marvellouswafflescelebration writing challenge. I am actually quite proud of this baby and how freaking painful it is. I was having a hard time with the prompt because I kept wanting to write it the same way it happened in the movie, so yeah, I’m very happy with this. Enjoy! (Please if you do like it, reblog it so it can be read by more and more people).

Part two

(This pic doesn’t belong to me, I took it off google, but I did edit it a little)

You never thought your friendship with Tom would end up like this. Ruined. Potentially forever, and the worst part is that you can’t even be mad about it. He’s been dreaming about becoming big in the movie industry since you were like 7 and dancing ballet at the studio everyday, so him getting big should be something to be happy about, right?

Only it isn’t. And not because he’s always busy and barely even texts back, not even because he never has time to hang out anymore, nor is it because he seems to always be in the other side of the world either filming another damn Marvel movie or any other movie, or promoting his work. No, all of those reasons were not enough to wreck your friendship. What finally did it was the fact that he became so full of himself that you couldn’t stand hearing him talking when you did get to see him. He’s kind of an asshole now.

So you snapped. You were out in a pub with him, Harrison, the twins and a couple of your friends, Tom was telling you about how unacceptable it was that his manager tried to get him, to spend a night in LA in a 4 star hotel instead of a 5 star or a damn Airbnb apartment, how he was tired of this neglecting behaviour from a person that eats from the 5% of his paycheck, and you lost it.

You may be bestfriends with this guy, but you definetely didn’t have the same economical status, and you have to work a normal job like everybody else, you don’t get 5 star hotels ever, for gods sake you don’t even get to travel that often, the only time you’ve been out of the country was when Tom took you to Atlanta to do some reshoots back when the first Spider-Man happened, so you made well sure to tell him he was behaving like a brat, posh and whiny rich kid. And he didn’t like it, so he called you a jealous uptight bitch that’s bitter because an ankle injury killed off her career, which was a low blow. So you stormed out of the place.

It was a pretty public scene and there were a few videos from different angles of nearby tables at the pub and a few pictures of both of you screaming at each other, and of you getting out of the place while fuming, and of Tom getting his car a driving off while visibly pissed. It’s been the story of the moment (at least in your life). All your social media was full of Tom’s fans calling you a fake friend, a bitch, a brat, whore, slut… some even sent death threats, which was a bit disturbing, but not surprising.

Of course Tom wasn’t helping at all either, he stopped following you, but didn’t block you so you could see him liking all the rude messages directed to you, and he was being very very vocal about the importance of having real friends and how loyalty is a very important thing and how he had to learn that the hard way very recently. So yeah, like a whiny rich boy.

You were scrolling down instagram, trying to focus on something else, but the notifications were still blowing with comments and tags on rude posts, so decided enough was enough and you started an Instagram Live, not even 1 minute in and you already had a handful of people watching and commenting snake emojis and very strong language words, but you ignored it as you started talking.

“Hello everyone, thanks for all the lovely wishes, I apreciate them a lot, you don’t wanna know. So, I’m here because, since I don’t go around doing interviews for a job, I have to find an outlet to let out my side of the story, because all stories have more than one side and one shouldn’t decide on a side unless you’ve heard all sides of it- the story, I mean.

Tom and I became best friends since day one of us meeting, that was 16 years ago, we were always inseparable and I always knew I had someone to rely on and he had someone to rely on in me. Pretty strong bond. I always knew he wanted to be an actor, the best actor he could be, and I always knew he would make it, because he’s always been so incredibly talented and dedicated and he was very determined, so when he finally got his big chance being casted as Spider-Man I was the first one to celebrate him. As his fame and recognition started growing, he started hanging out with a lot more celebrities and he started picking up on personality traits that aren’t that cool, but at the beggining it was so minimal that I’d just ignore it.

By the time he was filming Far from Home, I think, he was a full on movie star. Every place we’d go, a few cameras would follow and fans would show up, and he loved putting on a show for everyone, to the point where he’d ignore anyone that’s with him. But that’s no the worst part. I can forgive him for having an ego, we all have one, some are bigger than others and that’s cool, but what’s not cool is being condescending to the people who work with or for you. I dont’t believe in people from first or second class, for me everyone is equal and everyone’s work is just as dignified and worthy as anyone else’s, that’s why I finally lost my respect for Tom, because he started treating people that don’t have the same level of privilege as him like they’re less than him. That’s not the way we were raised, those are not the values that my best friend has and I know it’s all because of all the media attention he has.

You all give everything to him in a silver platter, so he now became a bratty movie star, another self centered celebrity that feels entitled. So congratulations. You have created a celebrity, but you have wrecked a human being inside. And I don’t feel like I deserved to be attacked this way for not wanting to put up with being belittled and treated like a peasant. Thanks.”

You finished the live and you broke crying, of course. It hurts to know that your best friend is no longer, that you’re never gonna have all those amazing midnight adventures. Like when you escaped from your houses at 15 to go to that crazy party all the school was attending but your mothers wouldn’t let you go. You remember how you got drunk after just one or two beers and ended up walking and giggling back home at 3am. You were in so much trouble the next day.

Or when he got casted as Peter Parker and you were so happy that you spent the whole night laying in his bed talking about all the hard work you both had done to make your dreams come true. That night he told you how he was proud of you for working so hard on your dancing career and how you were his favourite dancer ever. And you told him that you always knew he’d make it. You promised each other to always be there for the other.

He was the first to arrive to the hospital when you had the accident onstage that ended your career, he held you on those long nights when you’d cry and cry, he was there when you were angry at the world for not letting you have your dream. He helped through everything and never left your side until you were back on your feet and you had a new plan for your life.

He’s not here now though. He’s the one holding the gun on your back and you were the one that threw the first punch. You feel guilty. You ruined everything. You should’ve told him that he shouldn’t behave that way. Of all people, it should’ve been you holding his feet on the ground, and now it all went to shit because of you. It’s all your fault and maybe you do deserve the furious fans and the creepy reporters jumping on you every now and then, and maybe you deserve all those messages because maybe you were a fake friend.

You really don’t have the evergy to get out of bed for the days that followed. It could’ve been just two days, or a week, maybe even months for all you knew; but you stayed in bed, you would cry, eat and sleep and nothing more. Your phone was in some unknown place of your house, you hadn’t even attempted to find it and maybe it ran out of battery long ago, but who cares? definetely not you. You were walking around in your pajamas, looking for ice cream in your freezer or maybe some chocolate bars, or chips… or whatever came to view first, but you were interrupted by the ring of your doorbell and then a knock on your door, you thought about ignoring it, but then they knocked again so you brought yourself to the door and opened it.

You froze when you saw Tom on the other side of your door, looking probably just as destroyed as you do, red puffy eyes, messy hair, he was wearing sweatpants and an old shirt, an unusual look since now he’s always trying to look his absolute best. This guy in front of you resembled your best friend since childhood more than any of the high fashion versions of Tom, but it still ached in your heart that he was in this state in your front door unannounced.

“Tom… w-what are you doing h-here?”

“I uh… read a rumor and I needed to see it wasn’t true.”

“What?” You suddenly feel your blood boiling. The only reason he came was because of some rumor he read, he doesn’t regret anything, he doesn’t miss you, he just wants to see if some stupid rumor is true. You go to close the door in his face but he pushes the door.

“You wanna know what it was? Y/N listen to me, please!” You try to push harder, but he’s way stronger than you are so you give in and let him in, but the frown never leaves your face and you cross your arms over your chest.

“I’m listening.” You really don’t want to get your guard down, but the way Tom is looking at you right now makes it really hard. He looks at you the way one looks at a youth treasure you found after years of longing. The way you look at a flower that grows against all odds in the middle of a desserted field. And it’s making you feel very aware of him. You notice how the bags under his eyes are deeper than ever, his skin doesn’t look as flawless and polished as it did the last time you saw him, you can even see some spots around his forehead, you notice how he’s still unable to tame that eyebrow and how they also look a little unplucked, you can also see the tarce of a beard, the kind that tells you that maybe he didn’t shave this morning and even the day before that, and his hair is not only messier but it’s also longer. And it’s grounding to see him look so human, vulnerable and real right in front of you.

“There were some rumors going around that you might’ve… that you maybe… y-you had..”  For some reason he was unable to look you in the eye, and every time he tried to speak he’d take a small step closer to you. “That you maybe had… comitted… suicide…”

You froze where you stood, and maybe your jaw fell slack, and maybe you even stopped breathing, where the fuck did he read that? What the actual fuck are people saying? your blood started boiling with rage, not even at Tom anymore, but at the world, why does everyone suddenly feel entitled to say those terrible things and why? Because you haven’t been on social media in a long time? People seriously need to understand that other people exist outside the internet and the have lives outside social media.

“I seriously hate people. Well… here I am, alive and well, is that everything?” you ask as you raise a brow, expecting him to say something else, but he looks at you taken a back, he’s at a loss of words because he was expecting this to fix things.

“Umh… yeah?”

“Okay then, I’ll walk you to the door.” You say flatly and start making your way back to your front door.

“Y/N wait… I do need to say something else” He grabs you by the wrist and turns you around, you end up mere inches away from him, his hand still holding you. His gaze roams all over your face, he looks down at your lips while licking his, but then he looks up to your eyes. “I’m sorry. About everything. I was a dick, and maybe I am an idiot for realizing I don’t want to lose you until I read those terrible things and it hurt as hell to even imagine a world without you in it. I don’t want to live the rest of my life without your surprise texts when I’m away filming, or your weird gif replies, or our film nights and crazy getaways. You’re the best friend that I have. And I love you, Y/N. I really, really do, and I’m sorry it took me so long to admit that to you.” If this had happened a few months ago, you would have kissed him already. You loved him for such a long time, it almost hurt you, you had all those feelings for him stored inside you and at times it felt like they couldn’t fit anymore and you’d just explode, but that changed. You changed. And so did he.

“I accept your apology, Tom.” you took a long pause before speaking again, and you could see in Tom’s eyes that it was killing him to wait, every second feeling longer than the previous, until you spoke again. “But it’s gonna take a lot more than that to fix our friendship. I’m sorry I don’t share your feelings, but I received death threats over twitter, so many hate comments coming to me everyday… and you were liking them, encouraging people to keep attacking me! You expect me to just forget about that and act like it never happened? And you expect me to just throw myself at your arms and live happily ever after? It really doesn’t work like that, Tom. You have to go now.” He stayed looking at you for a moment, and you could see the heartbreak in his eyes, but your own heart was breaking aswell. Maybe you could fix this, but it would take more than this, and right now you could not see him in your apartment.

“Please leave Tom” Your voice was just a pleading whisper at this point, but Tom did let go of your wrist and you sighed when you felt the cold breeze hit the skin where his hand had been. He walked past you and opened the door, taking one last look at you as one single tear fell from your eyes. And the door closed.

---

Tagging a few people that might be interested so it doesn’t flop :)

@caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki @madmadmilk @hollandrecs @starksparker @sunshinehollandd

[hollyhomburg]

Dance To This: Part 2

(Hybrid! Namjoon x Hybrid! Seokjin x Blind! Reader) (Service Hybrid Au) (Social Media Au) (Polyamory au!)

SUMMARY: If loving you was as easy as breathing for Seokjin, than loving Namjoon is instinct, the need and want for the younger man burns through him like sunlight at golden hour. 

W/C: 8.0k

TAGS: Polyamory, social media au, lots of fluff and snuggling, Domestic love, Brief implicit sexual content, mentions of depression.

A/N: So dance to this part two ended up being over 18k in my drafts so I decided to split it into two parts, The third and final part will be out in a few weeks) Please enjoy this self-indulgent fluff and stay tuneeeddd~

BEFORE 

- And by the end of dinner Seokjin is making hot chocolate with marshmallows and before Namjoon knows it he’s falling asleep next to you on the couch while a movie plays in the distance, lulled to sleep by the gentle breathing of the two of you curled next to him as his head nudges onto your shoulder.

- You raise your hand and run it through his supper soft ears that are somewhat bristly at the ends. Fingering over the cleft in his side. Seokjin watches your expression, the way you seem to melt under the easy and deep breaths of the sleeping hybrid, and the way he’s melting into you, adorable dimples popping out as he smiles in his sleep.

- “Can we keep him Jin? Don’t you think it would be better if he stayed?” Seokjin reaches out his hand to thumb across the hybrids cheek. He’s so deeply asleep Seokjin could probably yell and the other wouldn’t wake.

- “Of course I do.”

NOW

- The next morning you and seokjin are woken up by a heavy crash, blearily moving awake to rub at the crust on your eyes, Seokjin springs up and says he’ll go and see what the issue is and he finds Namjoon sleepily attempting to wipe up a broken coffee mug with his bare hands. 

- “What are you doing? You could cut yourself!” Seokjin screeches. Namjoon flushed and shyly lets Seokjin clean it up with a broom and a dustpan while he stammers an apology. 

- Over the next few days, that occurrence becomes almost daily. Namjoon somehow manages to bend a copper pot and breaks several glasses. He even knocks one of the decorations off of the shelf on his rush upstairs by knocking into the wall too harshly. 

- Seokjin doesn’t understand how someone, let alone a hybrid that was supposed to be bred with grace and above human awareness, could manage to be so clumsy, but somehow Namjoon manages. 

- And if he didn’t always look up at Seokjin with that little abashed and apologetic frown that shows that the younger hybrid actually is sorry- then maybe he actually would get angry (instead of finding it cute, cuter then he probably should find it).

- Namjoon is always leaning over Seokjin’s shoulder when he edits his YouTube videos, bugging him about Instagram until you get him a phone of his own and he can clack away on his own timeline. 

- As a mixed Greywolf/dog hybrid Namjoon has inherited a few traits that aren’t typical of either species. 

- He’s generally more gentle than a puppy and less excitable (most of the time), as well as being more protective and observant. More than once Seokjin catches his eyes following someone that looks a little bit too big or threatening and subtly putting his body in-between you and them. 

- Seokjin will lightly hit his arm and say, “stop that! You’re making them uncomfortable” 

- “Sorry” the other hybrid would meekly say, thought this possessive behavior isn’t directed at him. Seokjin knows that if you knew what he was doing you wouldn’t like it. 

- In the next few weeks- Namjoon tries not to be a bother as much as possible but sometimes it’s hard. He helps you with everything you need to do from pulling out your chair at night and in the mornings. He helps with the cleaning And carrying groceries- Namjoon loves to carry groceries. It’s the little him that makes him happy. You start to have what Seokjin had begun to call ‘family dinners and breakfasts’. 

- Namjoon isn’t putting on as much weight as he should be, Jin tells you one evening. Namjoon’s hipbones still look too sharp when he stretches and his thick long-sleeved shirt lifts up a little. You try to tell Namjoon that you’d rather he just rest and recuperate, But Namjoon assures you that he’s not doing it because he feels like he has to- but just because he’s bored. 

- But really?... He just likes to feel like he’s not a burden. 

- You have to admit you’re starting to feel more than a little coddled with how Namjoon and Seokjin basically do everything for you. But you try to repay them in the little things you do that you know they like. like petting both of their ears and showing as much affection as you can possibly when you don’t have to work. 

- They quickly work out a situation that has both of them happy, after they spend an evening arguing over who gets to put their head in your lap. You sit sideways in one of their laps one night while the other lies their head on your lap. Namjoon comes into your office when you work late, close to dinner dragging a fluffy blanket from his room, and asks “cuddles?” with his ears pinned to his head and his tail lip between his legs. And who are you to refuse him? 

- As winter settles in and spring looms around the corner, work does pick up quite a bit, you go in with Seokjin into the center of town again to give a talk to your firm two weeks in a row. And every time you come home Namjoon greets you with his tail thwacking away a happy pattern against the doorway and his head tilted against your shoulder for pets. 

- You’d been worried that Seokjin wouldn’t approve of you petting Namjoon, but when you ask him about it on the third night Namjoon had stayed. He’d said that it was fine, and he means it- that he wouldn’t expect you not too. Pressing reassurances in between kisses.

- Despite how Seokjin talks to him sometimes- berating him a little gently or harsher at times when the hybrid is clumsy. Seokjin does like having him around. And loves the happy grumble he makes in his chest when you pet him (and those times that Seokjin also shows him affection- even if that had only been twice; one morning when Seokjin had been sleepy and Namjoon was warm, and another when Namjoon tripped over his own shoes and fell into Seokjin, and the elder had giggled and given him a short squeeze after catching him. 

- The other male hybrid looks after you with something akin to longing- always worried about asking for anything let alone affection but acting delighted when either of you offers. 

- Or when you grab onto his arm when you’re out on walks. And how could Seokjin act jealous or like he had a claim over you when it made Namjoon’s face light up like that, even if you couldn’t see it.

- Seokjin has never met another person more touch starved than Namjoon.  

- so he couldn’t take that soft dimpled smile away no matter how much his initial flare of hybrid instincts told him that you were meant to be his and his alone and that any male around you was a threat. They dissipate easily and almost instantly. After all, there are some parts of your relationship that remain entirely your own. 

- The stolen moments pressed between covers, special touches shared, fingertips pressing into shoulders, a nose brushing against your neck while you sit on the couch and start a new drama, Namjoon asleep in your lap, Seokjin’s hand pressed to the skin of your hip underneath your shirt. 

- Seokjin hasn’t stopped sleeping in your bed since Christmas and you have to admit it feels nice whenever you wake up with him, sometimes by his tail softly twitching against the bed- wagging in his sleep. Other times roused by his soft kisses against the expanse of your shoulder, your face, and sometimes, your inner thighs. 

- Those mornings, Seokjin and you stumble, happy and leaning into each other to find a flush face and an awkward Namjoon in the kitchen, but Seokjin doesn’t let it stop him. 

- You start putting away his laundry in your room instead of his, moving your spring clothes into storage to make room. 

- For Valentines Day Seokjin wakes you up with pancakes in the shape of hearts and fresh squeezed orange juice. And you give him the present that you’d been waiting to give him since you ordered it just after Christmas. “Oh my god, I love it so much!” Seokjin squeals excitedly when he unwraps the apron that says ‘hot stuff coming through’ on the front in swirly lettering. 

- Even Namjoon chuckles at it after leaning over Seokjin’s shoulder to read it. The next one is different, made of a thicker canvas, the edges of it well hemmed and strong. Seokjin’s fingers splay out across the fine fabric. It’s dark at the top and white and striped along the bottom with a pocket to hold his spoons- a real chef’s apron. “I know we didn’t talk about doing things for Valentines Day but…”  

- “Oh love,” he says, getting a little choked up, “all I can say is thank you.” Seokjin gets up putting the apron on the table and goes over to kiss you, both of his palms- a little rougher than they were when he first came to live with you when they come up to grip both of your cheeks. Connection your lips in a kiss that knocks the breath out of you. You’re grinning when you pull away. your hand wrapped around his wrist

- “Glad you liked it,” you say giggly. pressing your forehead against his for a second before Seokjin pulls away. Namjoon is hiding his smile in his coffee cup from the other side of the table as he tries to give you privacy and focus on the newspaper he got from outside. But Seokjin doesn’t mind his intrusion in your special moment. 

- As winter slowly melts to spring, so do you melt whenever Seokjin slings his long arms around your shoulder and nuzzles into your neck. Other times his more insistent bites and nips along your jaw turns into your hands fisting in his shirt softly, and he demands through yips and whines and words that you touch him. 

- And you can do nothing but obliged him, slipping your fingers across his hard hips and cut lines to wrap around his body- or if he was feeling particularly needy- the waistband of his pants. Your name a broken sigh uttered by his mouth against your skin. Your smirk cocky at the way he shakes through it. 

- The first time you’re ever truly intimate is soft and sweet, Seokjin asks you if you’re okay about 1000 times before you get it through his head that you want this. And when you press countless kisses against every inch of his chest, Seokjin feels so god damn lucky he can barely breathe. 

- You’d forgotten how it felt to be in a man’s arms, to have someone cherish and praise every inch of you until you where flushing from your ears to your curling toes. 

- But even this feels different than that. When he so much as touches your shoulder you feel like Seokjin is literally brushing his hands over your soul. It’s more intimate than anything you’d ever experienced and it makes you overwhelmed in a good way. 

- Seokjin’s hands brush over your stomach and your hip as you laze in bed, nothing but the white duvet covering the two of you in the warm haze of the morning there isn’t a thing bothering you. 

- You can tell that Seokjin’s looking at you, you reach out your hand, your fingertips brushing along his face to discern his expression, finding his plush lips turned up in a smile. 

- “You know I love you right” he whispers against your fingertips. “You have to know by now” You freeze, your breath coming out a little roughly. “I’m sorry,” he says quickly grabbing your hand as you almost pull it back. You sit up a little. 

- “No it’s fine- I just- I love you too Jinnie, so much you have no idea.” You whisper against his lips as you pull him down for another kiss. Letting your lips doing the talking. 

- The longing, the relief, the incredulity and the love in the kiss makes both of you breathe a little heavy but it’s fine- because you have each other and nothing matters beyond that. You could handle anything with Seokjin by your side.

- And of course your peace had to be disrupted by the shrill piercing of the smoke alarm going off, you hear the muffled noises of Namjoon cursing. “God damn it” Seokjin mutters as you giggle. Pressing one last kiss to your lips before he pulls on his pants and exits the room.

- You start to get out of bed but Seokjin hastens, a hand against your sternum “No you stay right where- I want to make you breakfast in bed today.” 

- “Seokjin stop being a prince” you tease jokingly- you don’t need him to speak to know he’s smiling when the door to your bedroom closes behind you. You fold back into the warm covers- significantly less comfortable than before, making you pout at your lover’s absence. But you know a shower is eminent in your future. 

- In the kitchen- Seokjin finds the younger hybrid fussing over already burned eggs- it seems he forgot to put the butter in. “I ugh- I tried to do everything you did but they didn’t come out right.” He says abashed, and Seokjin blushes when he sees an episode of Eat Jin open on Namjoon’s cellphone.

- Seokjin pushes him away from the range with a hip sweeping up the pan carefully and putting it directly into the sink. His eyes snagged on the eggs in the pan-there where 6 there, far too many for the one hybrid, he must have been trying to make breakfast for all of them like Jin did most mornings. His heart squeezed when he realized what he’d been trying to do for them. 

- “It’s okay, I can handle it Namjoon” Seokjin takes another pan from where they hang over the sink and pours a little bit of oil into the bottom before depositing it back on the stove. “Wanna grind some cheese for the omelets?” Namjoon eagerly gets the pepper jack cheese out of the fridge along with the grater and a plate. 

- “You know you don’t have to try to cook like me- I’ve got it covered.”seokjin asks as he whisks half a dozen eggs in a bowl.  “It makes both of you happy- so I wanted to try it. Sorry for messing up your kitchen.” Seokjin goes quiet after that- the younger males side brushing his as he comes over to deposit a mound of grated cheese into the middle of a layer of almost fully fried egg.   

- Weren’t males supposed to feel territorial after mating? Why was he okay with Namjoon being so near? He would have thought with the other being a canine type hybrid as well his possessive instincts would be in overdrive and he wouldn't be able to even have the other hybrid in his general vicinity right now. but there is no annoyance or wariness lurking in his chest, and seokjin frowns, puzzled over why he wasn’t feeling territorial. 

- He didn’t feel any lurch in his gut, anything but the muted sweetness, Namjoon asks him a few questions about his YouTube channel while Seokjin cooks, 

- He was sure the other hybrid could tell what had just transpired in the room over. If he hadn’t heard it or couldn’t see the love bites on Seokjin’s neck, the hybrids sensitive nose could certainly smell it. 

- Breakfast in bed is a lovely affair but after breakfast, you disappear up to your study for a phone conference. Seokjin busies himself with cleaning up the kitchen while Namjoon cleans the living room- still a bit disheveled from a movie night 2 nights before. 

- When Seokjin enters the living room- asking the hybrid if he’d like to help him make lunch and he finds everything disordered. The wide L couch turned in a totally different place and the coffee table turned the opposite direction, the expansive shelves and braille books on either side of the wide window are still mostly intact. 

- Namjoon’s just pushing the ottoman into place when he grins up at Seokjin “I thought it could do with a reordering- so that it fits the three of us more comfortably- do you like it?” he asks excitedly, Seokjin reigns in part of his temper. finally making an appearance. 

- Seokjin pinches the bridge of his nose, “you can’t move things you idiot- or if you do you have to put them back in the right place- or else she’ll trip over them.” Namjoon blushes and looks down, sudden shame curdling in on the proud feeling in his gut “I’m sorry,” the hybrid looks about ready to sniffle. 

- “Just help me get everything back into place before she’s done and maybe she won’t notice.”

- Of course, when you head down the stairs with a yawn, tired after a nearly 3-hour conversation with a business executive, intent on finally changing out of your rolled up pajamas you call out a greeting, Seokjin answers from the kitchen while Seokjin bids a quiet hello. 

- You head for your slippers by the window- your feet a little cold, you start to say something to them before you collide head over heels into the couch, falling into a lap. Below you Namjoon makes an oof as your head slams into his stomach.

- seokjin comes in at the sound of your shriek As Namjoon helps you stand up and find your footing again. Holding your hand out against his chest for stability. “Oh my god” he and Namjoon say after a second, completely mortified. Namjoon hides his face in his hands. 

- But they don’t find you angry- no you’re just laughing. The bubbly kind of belly laughing that hits you surprised, Wiping away at your cloudy eyes before you tap namjoon’s arm to let him know you’ve found your footing. “6 inches to the left guys.” You say softly to no one in particular. Before you walk in the direction of the kitchen and your bedroom. Namjoon kicks the couch to the left. 

- Weeks pass, you take both of them shopping, and it’s more of a fun affair full of copious stops for Starbucks after Namjoon discovers what a latte is and demands to try every single kind they have. Matcha ends up tying for first place alongside the mocha latte he gets last. 

- Namjoon comes up to where you stand to ask you about fabrics for himself- getting your approval before he decides on any one thing. You shake your head with a smile when you realize that he didn’t want to wear anything that would make you less likely to touch him or pet him. 

- Seokjin himself has always asked before buying anything- asking if you’d been opposed to any fabrics above others. Knowing that your sense of touch is a little sensitive in general. 

- It hurts you in such a keen way- when you realize how much the younger hybrid just wants to be loved. How much he tries to make you and Seokjin happy.

- He’s surprised when Seokjin pays for things with his own money at the counter of one of the stores “My YouTube channel doesn’t make a lot- but it makes enough, sometimes it’s nice to buy things for myself.” 

- The realization results in an eventual conversation with Namjoon when he asks you after agonizing over it for days if he should get a job. you sooth away his anxiety by trailing your hand up his shoulder to cup his cheek. “I don’t expect you to try and make money like Seokjin, you can use mine, most of the time Seokjin doesn’t use his own because I want him to save it.” 

- “Save it for what.” You look down and too the side. “In case anything ever happened to me is all.” The thought makes Namjoon frightened. when you walk together he puts himself between you and the road, worried that you could fall into it.   

- But as the days go on, you find another bad day leaking into you- solidifying when one morning you wake from a nightmare to an empty bed and can't get out of it. You click the alarm clock on your bedside table. “It is- 10:30am” reads in the automatic voice you dread on mornings like this. 

- The sound of your door opening makes you want to pull the covers you’re your head. “Jagiya” Seokjin says softly, you turn and bury your face into your blanket. Mouth unable to make words as you just lie there, wallowing in your sadness, the only thing you can do until it dissipates. Seokjin knows, always knows somehow. The bed slumps and moves under his weight as he sits on the bed, pressing a hand to your cheek. Over the past few months, he’s dealt with too many of your bad days to count, this one is no different.

- “Do you want some tea? Or do you feel up for breakfast?” he says softly, worry leaking into his voice. months ago you wouldn’t have even talked to him when you’re like this But now you make the effort.  Seokjin is worth the effort you remind yourself. 

- “Just gonna go back to bed,” you say, though you know you really won’t. Seokjin had been intent on recording a new video for Eat Jin today- along with a q&a video so you don’t want to distract him with just another bad day.

- “Okay,” he says, suspicion in his voice. But he leaves you be, to turn over and over in the too warm bed, the sheets usually the perfect blend of cotton, feel too heavy and almost greasy. 

- Minutes later Namjoon barges in, “Y/n I heard of this new park on the other side of town from the bunny hybrid next door and-“ the other hybrid freezes with the cloying scent of despair wafts from your curled up form, “what’s wrong? Are you hurt!?” he asks.  

- “Namjoon!” Seokjin yells, and the other hybrid freeze, Seokjin is already up- his camera paused. As he nudges Namjoon out of the way and closes the door behind him without another word. 

- “You can’t just do that” Seokjin hisses at Namjoon your door softly clicking behind him, “do what?” Namjoon asks, Seokjin rolls his eyes, “just go into her room like that when she’s-“ Seokjin breaks off- unwilling to reveal your secret- your bad days. 

- “Can’t you smell how sad she is? Why aren’t you doing anything to help her- why don’t you care-” Seokjin shoves Namjoon away from him not appreciating how the younger hybrid is getting in his face. “Of course I fucking care I just-” he hears a noise from your room. The sound of blankets being piled on top of you pulled over your head to keep out the noise of their conversation. 

- Both of them send the door a concerned look, and they continue more hushed. “Just accept that you don’t get it Joon, its best to just leave her alone right now- just trust me on this okay?” but Namjoon just can’t do nothing, he paces for a few minutes in front of your door, before he walks behind jin’s camera Standing with fists clenched, with his ears pinned to his head before the hybrid stops talking into the camera and sighs. Pausing it again.  

- Joon helps Jin when he makes you a small meal of comfort food, even making you French fries, hands darting back whenever he feels a little spark of oil.  

- Seokjin lets Namjoon bring it in for you, even though he did the majority of the work, and insists on cuddling you while you eat, Seokjin grumbles from the other side of you as he flicks through the channels on the tv in your room, a new installation. Seokjin becomes slightly more content when you wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his side when he finally settles on an episode of your favorite drama. It’s a good sign that you’re showing affection- the worst days where when you couldn’t even manage that. 

- Now that it was warmer both of the hybrids started feeling a little cooped up. At least now Seokjin has someone to play Frisbee with when you took walks to the park. And it feels glad to get some exercise after a long winter.  you sit on one of the picnic tables with one headphone in- listening to another audiobook while they spent time rolling around, Namjoon diving to catch a Frisbee and rolling, surprisingly agile.

- Seokjin wines about untangling the sticks from his hair later. when Seokjin offers to comb through your hair after your shower, Namjoon sits shyly next to the two of you and tilts his head in Seokjin’s direction- a wordless request for affection, a low whine in his throat. 

- “Here” Seokjin says, turning Namjoon around so that his back is too him and getting on his knees so he can reach his head.  Seokjin sits behind the two of you on the couch, chest inches from either of your backs while the two of you argue about the romantic lead of your favorite drama and who she should be with.  

- When he’s done, Namjoon leans back so that his back touches his chest and nudges Seokjin’s shoulder with his nose and neck turned away. Namjoon is blushing as he does it, only doing it once or twice before he’s finished and Seokjin can’t help but coo at the gesture, the scent marking. 

- Namjoon’s chest flutters when he smells Seokjin the next day, his own buttery pine intertwining with the hybrids another scent of sweet honey. 

- Namjoon desperately bothers Jin about being in an episode of Eat Jin but after he so horribly screws up a soufflé (why kind of person doesn’t know what yeast is?) Seokjin basically bands him from appearing in the show. Though sometimes the other hybrid photobombs the other, and he won’t realize that he has until he’s gone back and begun to edit his footage. 

- But once his followers have gotten a look at him there’s no getting them off the subject of the wolf hybrid and Namjoon drags and bribes him (with one dish of any kind of food he wants) to sit still long enough for a Q&A. And of course, his followers love Namjoon always asking endless questions, where did Namjoon come from? why did he have a gash in his ear? why you adopted him? and how you’d managed to have all the luck in the world getting two of the cutest hybrids in existence?

- Someone even comments, “I wonder why they don’t get territorial with each other, or over their owner, I have two German Shepard hybrids and they’re always at each other's throats.” 

- And Namjoon himself- wonders that too. They don’t even have a dominance hierarchy established between the two of them- and Joon doesn’t even feel the need to, doesn’t feel his instincts stirring in his gut, ever, even when he knows it should. - Seokjin wonders why the presence of the other hybrid doesn’t put him off like it does with others- like the time the fox hybrid at the park brazenly came up and introduced himself to you with a sunshiny smile that made Seokjin’s skin boil. 

- But for some reason, the gentle but quiet wolf hybrid doesn’t make him wary in the slightest, even less so now that Namjoon’s fully moved into the house and realized that the other shoe isn’t about to drop and that you really won’t make him leave. 

- The only time you see Namjoon excitable is when you start him talking on a single topic - Namjoon could talk about nature endlessly, and loved to spend time going on walks, even dragging you for a few hikes in the reservation on the outskirts of the city. It’s nice, you have to admit, even though you can't see the view the fresh air tastes sweeter somehow. 

- You make a habit of it- every weekend alongside your and Seokjin’s restaurant tours. Namjoon doesn’t like going to restaurants because he always seems to knock something off the table, making everyone look at you with a scandalized expression that he hates. After the first time he decides to go he makes a point not to intrude on your alone time with Seokjin, who has started to call them “Date and dinner nights.” 

- Every Sunday you and Namjoon have your own time, hiking and listening to his soft voice as he describes everything around you, helping you touch the sprouts of tulips and daffodils that are sprouting up every time he finds a new one. 

- One day, at the park with Seokjin, he presses a glassy snowdrop against your cheek without warning, making you giggle. And then bounding off to find another. As you smile and shake your head at his silliness.

- In the first few weeks of true spring, he easily gets a bit jumpy, and restless when you don’t take him for walks during the day. You can tell he’s turning something over in his head sometimes over breakfast when he’s more quiet than usual. When you ask Seokjin he always says that Namjoon’s just looking out of the window towards your barren and small back yard. 

- “I wonder what it could be,” you ponder idly as you brush your hand over Seokjin’s arm late one night after Namjoon had already turned in to his bedroom upstairs. A smaller one next to Jin’s old bedroom (through the elder hybrid had tried to assure him that it was fine if he took his room- seeing as it was bigger and had windows that face the street instead of the back yard). 

- The answer comes the next day surprisingly- the first truly warm day of spring. The day that the snow finally melts.  

- “Um- Y/n?” Namjoon’s asks from the door of your study, barely leaning in, he’s wearing an old shirt of his, Seokjin notices as he turns from the spot on the window and takes out his headphones- which he’d been wearing so the voice commands from your special laptop didn’t bother him and he didn’t bother you while editing another video. 

- He shrinks when both of you turn to him becoming somehow more shy and small in the doorway.  “Yes Namjoon?” you ask.

- “Your back yard,” he says, twisting the edge of his sweatshirt over his hands. “I was just looking out at it and even though it’s small I was just thinking it would be nice- I mean really I’d do all the work for it- and I could make it smell nice for you-” 

- “Namjoon,” Seokjin says, rolling his eyes, “just spit it out.”

- “I want to plant a garden,” he says quickly, grimacing like he’s ripping off a band-aid, “I promise I don't expect either of you work to on it and I’ll make it pretty for Seokjin- I could even plant fragrant plants too so that you can smell them...” 

- “Of course.” You say, shrugging like its no big deal and turning back to your work. But Seokjin sees that it clearly is a big deal to Namjoon who’s ears perk up immediately his shaggy tail switching back and forth. 

- “I promise I’ll work on it well! Thank you!” he shouts before running off down the stairs in excitement. You hum thoughtfully turning back to your machine. “that boy- he’s going to make such a mess tracking mud in the house.” Seokjin shakes his head. 

- “Don’t pretend you don’t love it when he gets excited like that.” 

-“Jesus woman get out of my head” Seokjin replies, making you giggle, and he’s glad that you can’t see the blush that stains his cheeks. Because Namjoon does get adorable when he gets passionate about something. And those freaking dimples did terrible things to Seokjin’s concentration. 

- That night Namjoon hovers in the doorway, his shirt stained up to the elbows in dirt, pants, and knees stained green even some on his face as he grins inside and steps in carefully. And though Seokjin shouts, “shoes off this instant and a shower for you too!” he has to admit that there is a certain tension out of Namjoon’s shoulders when he sits back down at the kitchen table.  

- he looks lithe and relaxed,  the shower has turned his skin rosy and his hair, shaggy and hanging in his face. You reach up and run your fingers through it when he sits next to you. Lamenting that his hair is getting long. 

- Namjoon hoists your legs into his lap and sets about rubbing his careful hands up and down your shins; something that Namjoon had figured out was comforting after you’d done it to him the other day.

- “I could cut it for you if you want.” Seokjin offers, Namjoon’s wide brown eyes flicker up, and he smiles, dimply and adorable and Seokjin almost drops the wooden spoon in his hands when the hybrid says, “I’d love that Jinnie.”  

- Namjoon bugs you to go to the local garden center for some trowels and some seeds, and in the next few weeks the two of you makes trips back and forth half a dozen times for various garden stakes and wood to make standing beds. 

- Though you relent and have one of the workers deliver the bags of soil instead of making Seokjin and Namjoon lug the bags back by themselves insisting even when Namjoon tells you that you don’t need to spend money on the delivery. 

- “The pees came up! They’ve got two leaves and everything just like the package said!” Namjoon runs in shouting, one morning after he goes out to check the garden, while Seokjin stirs something that smells vaguely vinegary in a pan, so excited that he almost trips over the rug just inside the door. 

- “Shoes Joon!” Seokjin reminds him, rolling his eyes at the excitable hybrid Who tosses dirt onto the floor “Sorry! sorry!” toeing them off, tripping over them again.  

- “Want me to come out and feel them?” you ask Namjoon with a small smile. And he takes your hand pulling you up from the table. Your bare feet shiver as the grass rubs up against the bottom, but the sensation feels good and you can hear Namjoon’s smile when he speaks.

- “We might have pees before July!” his wagging tail knocks up against the backs of your legs as he guides your hand down into the raised garden beds. The small leaves are rubbery and soft underneath your fingers, “What kinds did you plant?” you ask.

- “Sugar snap! Because their Seokjin’s favorite in salads, but I also have some beans!” you give Namjoon a knowing smile. “For Seokjin?” Namjoon stutters trying to find the words to justify it. You giggle and nudge him lowering your voice so that the hybrid won’t hear you through the open door to the kitchen. 

- “I won’t tell him about your crush don’t worry.” You smile, rubbing a hand down his side. Namjoon goes hot underneath your fingers and you can tell you’ve hit the nail on the head by the way he whines lowly and presses his face into your shoulder. Rubbing his head along your shoulder in a peculiar way. 

- And really how could you not have noticed Namjoon’s crush? He’d always been hanging around Seokjin, always interested in what he’d been cooking, always ready to help both him and you at the drop of a hat. He watched every one of Seokjin’s videos- though he’d never tell the other hybrid that. 

- You had noticed his crush on Seokjin, but Namjoon didn’t know how you didn’t notice his crush on you. Sure you couldn’t see how fondly he looked at you, or the slight little bits of jealousy that sprouted up in him whenever he saw you and Seokjin kissing in the morning light, or in the mornings after he can smell that you’ve both been intimate. 

- After he’s definitely heard your voice murmur “Jinnie- oh my god yes” coming from your bedroom when he gets up to get a snack. The way that you would lean into each other both flustered and sated in the kitchen the morning after in a way that Namjoon definitely loves to see.

- And definitely wants to cause.

- Even if that want on Namjoon’s short list of wants makes fear of being turned down, of not being accepted, Turn in his stomach like a tide. He’s glad that you can’t see the way he looks at you, forlorn and longing, both of you barefoot in his garden at the beginning of May, the setting sun turning the garden orange. 

- Your hand comes up to brush against his ears again in a slow lazy gesture, fingers smoothing out ruffles in the fur that aren’t there. “Why don’t you plant some herbs for him too Namjoon? I’m sure he’d love that.” Namjoon nods against your hand. 

- So Namjoon picks up basil and tomatoes, parsley and oregano, as well as a rosemary plant from the nursery. Some of the plants are expensive, especially the glossy clay pot he decides is perfect for the rosemary since it needs to go on your small porch instead of in the ground (because it can’t be in the rain so much as the other plants he tells you). But with the way he excitedly talks about all the things that Seokjin will be able to make with them makes the price worth it. 

- And really- you have more money than you know what to do with so why not spend it on your hybrid that you’re already starting to love so much.

- You know that’s not the way to get into his heart- as buying things is rarely better than just plain old spending time. So one morning when your workload is light- you go outside and ask Namjoon if they’re anything that you can do to help.

- “You can deadhead the petunias in the window boxes!” the soft floral scent of the petunias is pleasant and you can easily feel dried and crunch dead flowers compared to the velvet of the ones that have already wilted. 

- He comes up behind you, and you can hear the smile in his voice when he says, “you missed one.”  His chest warms your back, instead of just picking the dead head for you, Namjoon’s large hand, a little rough and moist from the dirt guides your hand to touch the tip of a crackling dry settle underneath the velveteen softness of the leaves.  

- Before Namjoon can move away you lean against him a little, your back up against his chest his thick sweater pillowing you, shoulders fitting perfectly in between the bounds of his arms.  And you find his back steady, His tail swishes happily. He noses at the top of your head then stoops to hook his chin over your shoulder. Arms wrapping around you strong and lithe, protective in a way that makes you feel small and cared for and treasured. 

- But there’s something in the way you sigh. Something too heavy to be entirely happy. “Are you alright?” 

- “Just a little stressed” you admit easily, Namjoon’s finger runs a line down your arm, the sleeve from his shirt tickling your skin along with the rough pads of his fingers. “Work is just a little busy right now.” 

- “Anything to worry about?” Namjoon asks uneasily. “No not at all- there’s just more work than I can realistically handle by myself so the firm is going to hire a new person and then I’ll have to work with someone new and just ugh- I hate when things change with work because I get so wrapped up in it- and just- it doesn’t give me the best results.” 

- Namjoon’s heart constricts as he thinks about you frustrated, and if he’s being honest, he wonders why he’d never noticed before. But now that he thinks about it you have been spending a little more time in your office than usual. “If there’s anything I can do to help…” he says trailing off at the end. 

- He wishes he knew how to help you better, and wishes he was better at expressing his emotions. He’d never really learned how. His first owner hadn’t allowed him to be anything other than stoic when in his heart been anything but. 

- You lean into him a little bit more and your head tilts up, your cheek rubbing soft against his, so so close to him, he can almost feel the curve of your mouth, almost feel your lips against his skin and the weight of that almost touches him more than your hand does when it comes to rest against his forearm. 

- The touch too sensual, too tender, needed too much to bear it all, but the physical affection too good and too dreamed about for Namjoon too pull away. Everything feels like fresh electricity to Namjoon’s touched starved skin. “Honestly? This helped so much.” 

- Namjoon squeezes you a little tighter. “You can help with the garden whenever you want.” And you do, though there is a small limit on what you can do because you don’t really like digging in the ground. The small worms startling you with their wriggles and unpleasantness, so you stick to pruning and watering. 

- One night after dinner Namjoon chats to you about how he was thinking about getting more scented plants and planting them in the garden. And you blush and tell him that you’d love it if he did that.

- So Namjoon buys a trellis to go up the back wall and plants jasmine, honeysuckle and scented roses, that waft through your open windows when you keep them open to encourage an early summer breeze. 

- One day you’re walking back from a new bookstore (which Namjoon wanted to check out to look for good books on gardening,) with Namjoon and Seokjin and you catch a sweet scent on the air and you stop. Namjoon searches for the plant to try to find out what the citrus scent is finding an orange tree on an old lady’s front porch. 

- Namjoon finds one a few weeks later after he drags you to a different specialty garden store. He plants gardenias and lavender just as the first tomatoes start to ripen and the cilantro truly starts to explode and you find yourself sitting out on the steps more often to work. 

- Namjoon spies a table on the side of the road with a pair of small wire chairs that someone’s throwing out, and drags them back to your house. he puts them on your little deck for you to sit at in the mornings. and when it gets warmer You prop up your laptop, not really working, just Listening to the soft sound of the city echoing in the distance and your hybrid softly humming to himself. 

- seokjin will bring out little bits of food for whatever he's making for you to try, or sit and play cards with Namjoon on that table, sometimes seokjin even leaves the doors open so the three of you can be in each others space even more. 

- One day, Seokjin walks into the kitchen and cries out. “Namjoon! What’s this?” he holds up the sprig of rosemary and a handful of basil leaves like an accusation, and Namjoon looks down at the floor his hears pinned to his head. 

- “I um- I planted some herbs in the garden because I thought you might…like to cook with them?” he says shyly, refusing to meet Seokjin’s eyes. Seokjin stands there stunned- that the wolf boy actually planted things with him in mind? The garden that he puts all of his efforts into? The garden that he works on every day- some of that garden was planted for Seokjin?

- “Oh.” He says, wishing that it wasn’t so obvious when he blushed, Namjoon waits for the elder to dismiss him; to say that he shouldn’t have planted them because he’ll never use them and it’s just easier to buy them at the store. but instead, Seokjin says “Well in that case- I need a little more of the rosemary if I’m going to make baked potatoes tonight for dinner- would you grab some for me?” Namjoon jumps and runs to get him more ecstatic that he’d been accepted. 

- “I thought you were making a side salad tonight to better complement the chicken?” you say idly from the table and where you’ve been reading. Sending him a knowing smile.

- “Oh, hush,” Seokjin says, “who am I to refuse him when he’s so sweet?” 

- “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you like him Jin.” You say with teasing air, a little too happy about the obvious but trying not to be obvious flirting that just went on in the kitchen. 

- “Aish woman, you’re never going to let me live are you?” you brush your hand against Jin’s palm, pressing against the underside and feeling the way he softly trembles. 

- “Nervous?” you ask, a little breathless, Seokjin leans over and presses a kiss to your forehead. “Starting things always makes me nervous,” Seokjin admits softly, but he gives no more explanation than that. He has no explanation beyond the warm feeling in his chest when Namjoon comes running back in, almost knocking one of his pans off the burner, missing it only thanks to Seokjin’s steady hands which grab him “Namjoon! Be careful you could burn yourself!”  

- Namjoon’s smile is incandescent as he ignores Seokjin’s words blatantly. “I didn’t know how much you wanted so I got a whole branch! And There where also some tomatoes ripe so I-” Namjoon blushes, can’t meet Seokjin’s eyes. Seokjin sees that Namjoon’s brought in far too much for just one meal. His heart swells as Namjoon shoves all of the produce into Seokjin’s arms and promptly takes off back through the door back to his garden. 

- Seokjin takes a glass and puts the rest of the rosemary in it and puts it on the windowsill and catches himself looking at it the next day fondly And thinks crap- he needs to ask you about this before anything happens, before the little sprouts of affection that he feels for the other hybrid start to grow and flower and make a home in his chest right next to his feelings for you.  

- And he does, he goes up to your office at that moment. You hold up a finger as you prattle on to the person on your phone, talking about stocks in a way that lets Seokjin know that you’re too tired to continue working afterward. He’s careful to shut the door and close the open window, Namjoon is out in his garden again, like always, even though it’s been missing all afternoon, and he doesn’t want the other hybrid to overhear this conversation. 

- “What is it Jin?” you ask when you’re finished, and he takes one step towards you and kneels, emotions filling his mouth and not letting words out, lying his head onto your lap and lifting your hand to his ears. You huff happily at the forceful taking of affection, something sweetened by familiarity. But when your fingers brush against his mouth you find a frown there. You mirror it without seeing it, “What’s wrong honey, what’s got you so upset?” 

- “I know we don’t talk about us all that often, but you know that I love you, but I want you to know, if you want this to be a “Just us thing”- with Joonie- I won’t- not if you don’t want me to- if you-” Seokjin stutters the words not coming out right. 

- “Jinnie you love him too,” you say, your voice breaking a little bit, chiding and gentle “and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t… feel something, so you don’t have to worry.”

- “He’s just so freaking cute.” Seokjin groans, the words almost a frustrated curse against your bare legs. because yes, You’re both totally whipped for him. the smiley and protective hybrid that’s as gentle as the plants he grows makes both of your hearts pitter pater like the rain on the roof of your home.

- And it’s a home with the three of you- not just any old house. The feeling of home and family and love is stitched into every inch of your lives and none of you wants that to ever change. 

- A few days later, before Seokjin has a chance to act on his budding feelings, Seokjin is making another YouTube video in the kitchen when you and Namjoon are sitting in the living room. it’s raining too hard outside for Namjoon to work on his garden, and your show just ends.

- “I should probably go get some work done,” you sigh against Namjoon’s shoulder, a blanket covers the both of your laps, and his body is a line of warmth against your side. It might be nearing summer, but you always like being cozy. You purposeful put your air conditioner on a little early because of it. After all- you have literal furnace Kim Seokjin too sleep next to every night.  

- Namjoon makes a noncommittal noise of ascent, he doesn’t want you to leave, but he won't stop you when he knows you need to work. He doesn’t get his legs out of the way fast enough and you fall into him. But he manages to catch you, one hand of yours falls on his chest, and the other on his right arm, you let out a little oof sound. 

- Namjoon looks up, an apology already on his lips, and any other day he’d think a totally different when your breath runs over his face but you… your hand on his arm, it’s tracing what’s underneath his clothes. 

- The long sleeve shirt is too thin and unlike usual he’s not wearing a thick sweatshirt, he should have known your overactive senses would be able to feel them right now. 

- You pause for a moment, putting two and two together, “Joon?” you ask tentatively.

- Then He’s depositing you on the other side before you can say anything else, standing up and leaving the living room as quickly as he can. His pulse jumping with anxiety- because you can't know, he’d just started to get comfortable here. he’d been so careful, he doesn’t want you to find out. Knowing you could send him away if you find out about his most terrible secret. 

- You aren’t letting him get away, even as Namjoon tries to escape to his garden, going through the kitchen. 

- Seokjin makes an aggravated sigh and pauses the camera before turning off the burner. “Guy’s! You’re going to make me burn the Onions-“ and he’s about to educate you on the perfect mixture of crunchiness and gumminess, but then he sees how you’re trailing after Namjoon looking conflicted, you manage to catch his arm. “Namjoon wait-” 

- “It’s nothing- don’t worry about it- I’m not-” he reverses his direction, going for his shoes and his jacket, his anxiety is screaming at him- yelling at him to get away away away from the threat.

- The threat is this: your sad imploring expression trying to pay for Namjoon’s secrets, the ones he doesn’t share- not ever, and Seokjin’s wide eyes that are wanting to pry his chest open and have his secrets laid out on the floor of your kitchen. 

- “Namjoon if you’re hurt you need to tell me-”

- “I don’t need to tell you anything!” the hybrid yells, you and Seokjin freeze. You’d never heard him yell before and suddenly Namjoon can’t breathe, the air too cloying and pressing on his chest. 

- He takes his shoes with shaking hands and slams the door so hard that the ceramic pots he’d gotten by the door rattle, not even bothering to put them on before he leaves. Namjoon toes them on at the top of the steps and by the bottom, he’s running. 

- Seokjin holds the pan of frying onions in his hands staring wide-eyed in the direction of the hybrid that’s just disappeared. “What the fuck?”

- You start to sniff in the doorway, and Seokjin drops the pan with a clatter in a when he realizes you’re crying, his hands and arms crush you to his chest, your tears soak into his apron. “Honey” his voice is soft and as sweet as the pet name he uses with you.  “What’s wrong? What happened? What made Joonie so upset?” 

- Seokjin rubs the tears away from your eyes as you swallow back a lump in your throat. “I fell against him and I felt something under his shirt- they where Scars Seokjin.”

*PART 3 COMING SOON* 

[busylearningstuffrn]

it’s September and the start of the school is dawning upon you. you feel great. this is gonna be the year. no more all-nighters, no more finishing your work 5 minutes before the class it’s due. you have a killer organization system and you will use it every. single. day.

flash forward to November: you’re starting your semester project two days before it’s due, you haven’t opened your planner for three weeks,  and a good night rest seems like a distant memory. if this sounds anything like you, you need to get your shit together.

hah i’m kind of the laziest piece of shit i know but always half way through the year i decide that i need to be a #betterme so i’ve become an expert at changing my ways overnight. here is my semi-comprehensive and v messy guide

fake it till you make it

biggest. tip. let yourself think that you’re being extremely productive and that you know what you’re doing until it is your reality. here’s how:

make a to-do list of all the things you need to accomplish for the day. on that list, also include the things you already did. even if all it is is brush teeth and get dressed, write that shit down. a partly finished to-do list looks A LOT better than a completely uncompleted one.

also, divide up your huge daunting tasks into smaller steps, each individual task will look a lot more approachable and that will motivate you to get working

write down your morning routine and stick to it. the stuff you do everyday (or should be doing everyday) will now feel as if you’re being productive the second you wake up which will get you in that grind.

some morning routine inspiration x x x

deep clean

ok, you’ve decided that you can no longer live on the brink of insanity. the first step is to clean. PUT ON SOME BOPS AND GET IT DONE

maybe invite a friend? my closet habitually turns into a black hole and i end up just falling asleep on the floor every time i try cleaning it by myself because i hate cleaning(a lot of people like it, and if you do, i envy u). SO solution: invite a friend over that will FORCE U help u out!

clean your study space. who wants to work on a cluttered desk? no one.

throw out all the papers you don’t need and if you think you need them but you’re not really sure(like old notes that your younger sibling might want), then move them to a folder and put it in storage

clean your closet. no one talks about the closet, but you gotta organize it because how are you supposed to be in that productive jam when you go to get dressed and it takes you 10 minutes to find a clean t-shirt? prevent the prospect of a unmotivated funk!

next: clean your entire room. the entire room.

ALSO why not deep clean your body?

face and hair masks always make me feel bougie&zen

for hair masks i use coconut oil 

an hour before you shower, melt some coconut oil and run it through your hair, then braid it and leave it in until you wash it out in the shower

here are some diy face masks x  x  x

healthy choices!!

eating good food is so beneficial for your body and mind. i’m not telling you to stop eating your favorite meal, but if you’re stuck with only a bag of chips for lunch because you’re too lazy to pack food (tbt to freshman yr), then that’s not okay.

my masterpost for healthy eating during the school year

my masterpost for study snacks

tea can work wonders my friend. here’s an infographic for ten teas and their benefits

DRINK WATER. get a water bottle that you will use and keep on filling it up!! water makes you feel and look better (hello glowing skin).

you need sleep. everyone know the amount of sleep they need to be able to get through the day effectively, so strive to get that amount. 

when you start getting back on track, it’ll seem like you have so much work to do that you won’t be able to go to sleep at a reasonable hour, but if you plan accordingly and really utilize your time, then you should be able to do it

plus once it gets to an hour where you can barely keep your eyes open, the work that takes you 3 hours will take you 30 min in the morning

the super classified secret to how some magical people wake up refreshed instead of groggy is waking up at the end of sleep cycle, instead of the middle of one. i use sleepyti.me to tell me when to go to sleep according to the time i want to wake up

not only should you strive for a healthier body, but why not a healthier mind?

meditation is great. (two great meditation apps x  x)

here’s a nice self-care masterpost by @ashleigh-studies

manage yo time

USE SOME SORT OF PLANNER. sometimes in the studyblr community it seems like everyone has a bullet journal, but that’s not necessarily the case.

i loved using a bullet journal, but during the school year, i would get extremely lazy and the prospect of me having to spend ten minutes on the simple spread i did sounded like death. if this sounds anything like u, there are other methods of planning.

online apps or websites. (masterpost by @mujistudies)

a pre-made planner (the one i use).

OR if you love the idea of being able to completely customize your organization system. here’s where to start with a bujo:

official guide to starting a bullet journal

a great bullet journal masterpost by @studyign 

my bullet journal tag.

FOREST SAVED MY LIFE. i used to regularly be sucked into the black hole that is the instagram explore page in the middle of doing an assignment and lose hours of good productive time!!!

this app has you plant a tree, and if you go on your phone your tree dies and that’s sad so u wont go on ur phone

i recommend creating a study schedule. this is a great guide w a printable by @eintsein

i recently started using getplan.co that allows you to drag your tasks to make a study schedule, so if you prefer something digital, i highly recommend this website.

alright, that’s it! i believe in all of u and i hope this was somewhat helpful :)))

[junker-town]

WNBA nearly did All-Star weekend right. But they made the stars fly economy

The WNBA nearly did All-Star weekend right. Then 6’8 Brittney Griner was given a middle seat in coach.

Welcome to The W Is It, a weekly column about all the stuff that freakin’ rules in the WNBA. Have any tips of topics to cover? Find me @mellentuck on Twitter.

When Brittney Griner landed at McCarron International Airport in Las Vegas on the Thursday before the All-Star Game, she was greeted by a limo ready to take her to an upgraded suite at the Delano Hotel. As she walked through the doors of her new room, she witnessed something not seen at any of her previous five All-Star appearances: a room with a common room and supersized bathroom.

It’s here where the Phoenix Mercury center changed before going to a luxurious players-only dinner down the Vegas strip at the Bellagio. There were no ball-signings or media appearances to make. Just the best in the world enjoying a night together.

“It was fun,” Griner told SB Nation of the weekend. “Not that the other ones weren’t fun ... the one in Phoenix [in 2014] was fun. But it just felt like a real All-Star.”

At least it felt that way once the players arrived. The 22 All-Stars still had to fly coach to the event, which meant a middle seat for the 6’8 Griner. She had to pay her own money to upgrade and get the necessary extra leg room.

“If they would’ve listened to [Aces general manager and head coach] Bill Laimbeer on how to get us there, our travel there, to make us really feel like All-Stars, then it would’ve been great,” Griner said. “Like first-class seats, or at least exit row.”

Indeed, Las Vegas’ inaugural All-Star flashed the grandeur the stars of the league’s biggest celebratory weekend has long craved. At the same time, Griner’s flight difficulties showed the league still has a ways to go to improve the All-Star experience for those stars.

Upon arrival, everything was pristine. The biggest draw of the weekend featured a beach party performance the night before the game, with rapper Snoop Dogg and hip-hop artist Iggy Azalea performing at the Mandalay Bay casino and hotel. (Las Vegas Aces star Liz Cambage was set to open the night as a DJ, but technical difficulties scratched that segment.)

The next day, the All-Star Game player introductions were done between sets of Cirque Du Soleil stunts. For the first time ever, the game even had a halftime act, with singer Teyana Taylor owning the stage for the duration of the intermission.

Taylor was able to perform because, for the first time since 2006, the Three-Point Shootout and Skills Competition were not only paired together, but given their own night. For the past three years, the Three-Point shootout was played at halftime of the actual game, and there was no skills contest. Moving the events to Friday night gave the players a second day of spotlight on ESPN and opened the weekend to other events.

Taylor’s performance was a memorable one for the All Stars. In lieu of a halftime speech in the locker room, the players surrounded the stage to enjoy quasi-personal show. First-time All-Stars Diamond DeShield of the Chicago Sky and Odyssey Sims of the Minnesota Lynx took the mic to belt out Taylor lyrics in front of the crowd.

SING IT, @diamonddoesit1 pic.twitter.com/afZVZ3Lffk

— Chicago Sky (@wnbachicagosky) July 27, 2019

Griner also noticed all the other players from around the league in attendance to enjoy the weekend with them. With so much to enjoy around the game, it was hard for them to pass up, even if the alternative was a much-needed vacation. Luminaries included Sky forwards Gabby Williams and Stefanie Dolson, Seattle Storm guard Sue Bird and recent World Cup winner Megan Rapinoe, and NBA All-Stars Kobe Bryant and Chris Paul.

“I’d definitely call it my favorite weekend,” Griner said. “They made a lot of improvements. The aura around everything was great. I think it should be there again.”

But there’s still a ways for the league to go, through no fault of its host. One complaint was the All-Star Game’s early tip time at 12:30 p.m. PT the afternoon following the Snoop Dogg and Iggy Azalea concert. “Come on,” Griner said. “We’re all adults here. Maybe push the game back a little later.”

And then, there were the flights. All-Star Weekend is funded through a partnership between the WNBA and the host franchise, according to the league. Usually, the host franchise is responsible for travel arrangements.

Knowing that, Laimbeer, the coach and general manager of the Aces — and himself a 6’11 former NBA player — proposed setting $20,000 of his organization’s share aside to pay for first-class flights for the 22 All-Stars. But the league rejected the proposal, forcing Griner and her companions to squeeze into coach seats.

“I made a complaint at the board of governors meeting about that specific issue,” Laimbeer told The Associated Press. “They are our best assets, they are our All-Stars; treat them with respect. I apologized to them that I couldn’t get that done.”

Difficult travel accommodations have become a key point of emphasis for the league’s players and coaches. The WNBA’s collective bargaining agreement, which expires on Oct. 31, requires all players to fly commercially, which has contributed to frequent in-season delays, cancellations and uncomfortable trips across the country. Last season, 24 hours worth of plane troubles caused Laimbeer’s Aces to forfeit a late-season game with playoff implications. This season, new L.A. Sparks head coach Derek Fisher posted a picture of his team carrying their own bags through an airport terminal.

View this post on Instagram

So after a hard fought win on national television @la_sparks are right back to reality that these women are not being treated like the best athletes in the world!! #facts #hastochange #comeonnow

A post shared by Derek Fisher (@dereklfisher) on Jun 8, 2019 at 5:53pm PDT

“So after a hard fought win on national television [the L.A. Sparks] are right back to reality that these women are not being treated like the best athletes in the world!!”

Still, the league played police for All-Star in the name of fairness and parity. The fear was that Laimbeer’s first-class ticket offer would be seen as a recruiting tactic to lure top players to join Vegas’ superteam in the future. After all, Vegas acquired Cambage, last year’s league-leading scorer, when she requested a trade from a smaller-market Dallas Wings. MGM owns the Aces, and few, if any, other teams can and will match the pockets of the international powerhouse. The league OK’d the upgraded suites, but drew the line at airfare.

The league’s logic mirrors the decision to force Mystics guard Kristi Toliver to get paid a mere $10,000 for what is typically a six-figure role as an NBA assistant coach during the winter. The Wizards and Mystics are both owned by Monumental Sports, so the WNBA wanted to prevent them from using the carrot of a six-figure salary with the same organization to circumvent the salary cap and retain Tolliver as a player.

Yet this anti-tampering fear from the league is wildly misplaced. For one, the WNBA’s current CBA features the core designation, a provision similar to the NFL’s franchise tag that can be used to keep a player for up to four years. This is already one of the most team-friendly perks in all of sports, so what threat would a comped first-class flight really pose to a small-market team?

More fundamentally, the All-Stars deserve better. This isn’t the same as NBA teams offering perks outside the CBA to lure free agents like Kawhi Leonard that make tens of millions of dollars a season. These are the WNBA’s most talented athletes, who already play year-round because a maximum salary — a maximum salary — is worth just $117,500. Their bodies are pushed to limit over and over again, and their health should be the primary concern.

Consider that the All Star showcase was already missing six of the league’s biggest stars due to injury. Reigning MVP Breanna Stewart tore her Achilles in the Euroleague title game (Dynamo Kursk), while teammate and legendary point guard Sue Bird has missed the entire season to arthroscopic knee surgery. Former MVPs Candace Parker and Diana Taurasi have only played 10 games combined due to nagging ailments, and thus missed the weekend. A’ja Wilson, the league’s second-most popular player by fan vote, has been in a walking boot due to a high-ankle sprain in late July. Finally, Maya Moore, arguably the league’s most recognizable face, is taking the year off to focus on “family” and “ministry dreams.”

Vegas’ All-Star set the pace for what the W should bring every year, and players are eager to come back. But it wasn’t perfect just yet.

Now for some fun stuff.

Speaking of ... Candace Parker is BACK!

A hamstring injury has cost Parker all but nine games this season, and she’s looked shaky for most of those. Until this week.

Check out the highlights from @Candace_Parker's season-high performance ⬇️ #WatchMeWork pic.twitter.com/7YbIwm31P0

— WNBA (@WNBA) August 4, 2019

CP3 was named Player of the Week after a pair of wins showed her score 16 and then 21 points. She looked like her former All-Star self, throwing behind-the-head passes in a win over the Storm. Let’s goooooo!

now candace is throwing THIS pass l.a. is getting rude af and im ready for it pic.twitter.com/vPGgXjxh9N

— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) August 4, 2019

Courtney Williams is a PROBLEM

The Sun quietly have the WNBA’s best record, despite being forced to trade top big Chimey Ogwumike to the Sparks before the season. Though forward Jonquel Jones takes a lot of the spotlight, Williams is an assassin. In a win over the Liberty, she scored 28 points on 12-of-18 shooting and also added seven rebounds, six assists and THIS BLOCK.

She’s 5’8.

courtney williams is 5'8 pic.twitter.com/L3wFJztoAc

— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) August 4, 2019

Marina Mabrey is disrespectful as hell for this lmao

The L.A. Sparks guard:

Blocked the hell out of Seattle’s Jewell Loyd

Chucked the ball at her to try and gain possession

Dapped up her teammate Tierra Ruffin-Pratt after doing it

Legend.

marina mabrey lmfaaaaoo this is the most disrespectful shit ive ever seen pic.twitter.com/Z6KUDB9lbX

— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) August 4, 2019

[manabingu]

ManaTagged! Heyoo~

tagged by the sweet ♥ @rainbow-galaxy-supernova  (sorry its overdue)

The last:

1.) Drink: Raspberry Milk Tea w/Lychee Popping Pearls

2.) Phone call: to @tyrestgwa earlier today via skype

3.) Text message: to @crystalwoodsart

4.) Song you listened to: Phoenix Ash’s Cover of JAP by Abingdon Boys School & Fome’s Cover of Count Zero by T.M. Revolution (SO FCKN GOOD)

5.) Time you cried: yesterday 8D during Wonder Woman ;U;o

6.) Dated someone twice: Tyrest is the first & only official dating. But me and @crystalwoodsart have been married practically since 6th grade. She is mY WAIFU!

7.) Been Cheated on: Thank Ra No!

8.) Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah.BUT I mean- iN DREAMS YES.

9.) Lost someone special: It’s a universal thing. Namely pets for me

10.) Been depressed: 8) Story of my LIFE! But I’ve been makin progress

11.) Gotten drunk and thrown up: I REFUSE to consume alcohol/drugs

12-14.) LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: Turquoise,Galaxy Print,Pastels/Silver tie

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15.) Made new friends: I’ve been blessed thanks to YT Idol w/new singer pals!

16.) Fallen out of love: Yeah...in  high school I had so many talent crushes. Which I think is normal for theater kids. But I think I ended up with the correct person. He truly understands me. And though I sometimes wonder what would my life be if I had confessed my love to those others, I’m happy I waited for the person who accepted me just the way I am ;w;o

17.) Laughed until you cried: AS AN ABRIDGER, I am privileged to be surrounded by INCREDIBLY hilarious people & I love it!♥

18.) Found out someone was talking about you: YES. And BOY is it a trip when I find people are horrible trolls. I find out about sweet people who say super kind things about me or my work all the time. But when I get a heads up about backstabbers or people who get close for the wrong reasons, I put my guard up around them & just do my own thing. Because a path of jealousy, hatred & vengeance isn’t for me. Bullies can talk, but I’ll always ignore them.

19.) Met someone who changed you: Namely Tyrest,Crystal,Panda,Wraith10, @cozymochi (bows to her greatness), LordMoonstone, @kittykatsandbox, (FAB SENPAI) @ahsimwithsake & @laurathia who are 1 of 2 sets of adoptive internet parents I have XD and MOST RECENT OF ALL CEONN. If I hadn’t met Ceonn, my singing career journey wouldn’t have taken off.THANX

20.) Found out who your true friends are: YEP 8)! Sadly, just recently too...

21.) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Well, hispanic people greet each other by cheek kisses so  I will say yes.

22.) How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Everyone cuz my FB is family & IRL friends only ^^; BUT my ZEXAL Abridged has a FB 

23.) Do you have any pets: My pet cockatiel Patchos 8D

24.) Do you want to change your name: No, but don’t mind having a stage name to be honest. I love stage names ^_^

25.) What did you do for your last birthday: Probably sang,drew & other stuff 

26.) What time did you wake up: 9 or 10ish? I had to meet some friends today

27.) What were you doing at midnight last night: GAWKING at Gal Gadot

28.) Name something you cannot wait for:Anime Idol @ Metrocon, finally getting out more song covers/abridged stuff. And being stable again.

29.) When was the last time you saw your mother?: a few seconds ago

30.) What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish that ONE thing didn’t happen & my family had the same wealth we shoulda had if luck was on our side. That & I wish I wasn’t afraid of certain things so I could progress faster.

31.) What are you listening to right now: Fome’s Covers,& MY own covers

32.) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeS?

33.) Something that is getting on your nerves: Hypocrites lately 8)

34.) Most visited website: Tumblr,Instagram,Twitter & YT are tied tbh

35-37.) Finished all of school: yeppers

38.) Hair color: Dark Chocolate Brown (I used swatches at Sally’s XD)

39.) Long or short hair: I enjoy having long princess hair, but I cut it recently QuQ woops. Mostly cuz I wanted to try a T.M. Revolution hairdo XD

40.) Do you have a crush on someone: I HAVE ANIMAY HUSbANDs/WAifUS

41.) What do you like about yourself: My voice range! I used to be SO self conscious as a kid, but eventually it became my greatest strength because it’s SO versatile it honestly I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my unique voice QuQ

42.) Piercings: My ears have been pierced since birth. Mom wanted it

43.) Blood type: O? I think was what it was? It’s been years lol

44.) Nickname: Mana & Ginga (to my singer friends)

45.) Relationship status: Taken by Tyrest (with Crystal on the side ;D heh)

46.) Zodiac sign: I am a proud Sagittarius ♐

47.) Pronouns: Her is fine, but I don’t mind He if I’m crossplaying (mostly Ginga). It’s kind of a weird thing for me cuz I’m genderfluid ;w; but if anything to avoid confusion, just go with feminine one XD cuz whatvs???

48.) Favorite TV show: ITS HARD. I like too many things.Non-Anime TV Show wise I watch mostly Trail & Error & Fresh Off the Boat. But Anime-wise: ZEXAL (but YGO in general), Darker Than Black, One Punch Man/Mob Psycho 100, Uta no Prince-sama, Saint Seiya/Omega, Tokyo Mew Mew, Kaleido Star, anything by CLAMP, Kamen Rider Gaim/Fourze, Death Note, Attack on Titan, Tokyo Magnitude 8.0, FMA...too many...I know I have more...

49.) Tattoos: NoPe

50.) Right or left hand: Righty

FIRST…

51.) Surgery: In 8th grade I almost died 8D! Ruptured appendix, 3 consecutive operations & all because the first time I went to the emrgency they sent me home & misdiagnosed me with stomach flu 8D HAH.HAH.HAAAA ;~~~;...

52.) Piercing: Ears only as mentioned previously

54.) Sport:I don’t do any.My fave is figure skating tho. I love Yuzuru Hanyu♥

55.) Vacation: Technically me comin to the U.S for the first time counts

56.) Pair of trainers: Is that slang for shoes???...uhh??

MORE GENERAL…

57.) Eating: I ate sushi at a Chinese Buffet called Giant Panda today

58.) Drinking: finished all the boba tea ;w;

59.) I’m about to: Sleep cuz it’s 1am xD

61.) Waiting for: Good news, & replies from a few emails I sent this week

62.) Want: To make my YT Channel flourish & master my voice

63.) Get married: With luck but I think a paper doesn’t dictate if you love a person or not. BECAUSE i wanna pursue singing/acting, I know I’ll always be traveling ;w; so that decision is hard. I mean we can be OFFICIAL via the paper thingy but like, I already know we’re together XD ffff lol

64.) Career: Singer/Actor/Voice Actor & Internet Personality maybe

65.) Hugs or kisses: Both ^o^...cuz honestly I’m a fluffy person ;w;o

66.) Lips or eyes: Both again...I Can’T HElP IT (deep down my thoughts are as swirly with flirtatious things...proly explains Ginga’s mannerisms)

67.) Shorter or taller: I’m short ;w; sniffs 5′1. Everyone else is a tree

68.) Older or younger: Depends on relationship type? Like I think having a partner at a relatively older age because I am anxious af & need someone older to guide me when I’m struggling, but don’t mind younger (but MATURE) person by 2 years max. But when it comes to friends, I befriend anyone who is kind-hearted. Because we can learn a lot from elders/ our youth

70.) Nice arms or nice stomach: I don’t mind either or but TMR is @U@

71.) Sensitive or loud: I’m drawn more to sensitive people because they have higher levels of compassion & kinder hearts.

72.) Hook up or relationship: Relationship cuz I’m loyal AF

73.) Troublemaker or hesitant: Egh...both have downfalls. Hesitant is safer tho

HAVE YOU EVER…

74.) Kissed a stranger?: Nope BUT if I become an actor, that is a thought that keeps me up at night XD cuz ...again...I’m loyal af ;-;

75.) Drank hard liquor?: EWW >_>

76.) Lost glasses contact/lenses?: YES. During a musical in 10th grade (Suessical I was Cat in the Hat) I was on a trampoline and THEY FLEW OFF MY FACE! And ....we never found em O_O...they vanished....

77.) Turned someone down?: Yeah...a bunch of creepy fanboys throughout the years... 8) unfortunately the downfall of being an internet person

78.) Sex on first date?: DEPENDS. I’m demisexual, so I’m attracted to personality/emotional bonds not physical appearances. So IF my emotions towards them is high enough, I dunno if things could happen? But usually I stay reserved cuz I need to feel like I honestly love the person THAT much.

79.) Broken someone’s heart?: Probably ;w;...2 old buddies. I knew they had crushes on me...but I just didn’t feel the same way towards them -actually someone ELSE admitted they had a crush on me last month so the count is now up to 3...AGH. I WISH they can find someone who will make em happy because I think they deserve it tbh. They’re good dudes.

80.) Had your heart broken?: Once yeah, an old childhood crush was honestly insensitive when I asked him if he ever felt something for me &  he said “ehhh not really?” in a way that came off as insensitive XD?....yeah. But the MORE I thought about why I liked him, the more I realized I could NEVER be in a relationship with them cuz they were immature & didn’t know how to be serious.They don’t balance goofiness & sensitivity & I need a balanced person

81.) Been arrested?: NO

82.) Cried when someone died?: waterfalls of tears cuz I’m an emotional wreck

83.) Fallen for a friend?: yeah =w= a bunch of abridgers/singers hah. I get talent crushes ALL the time, but don’t act on it cuz I’m shy AND taken XD

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84.) Yourself?: Usually...but I have many moments where I question if I’m good enough or worthy enough to be here ;w; gotta work on my Kattobingu

85.) Miracles?: Shining Draws should be real. But yeah miracles CAN happen

86.) Love at first sight?: FUYA OKUDAIRA 8D...and Takanori Nishikawa...and Mahiro Takasugi and Aoi Shouta tbh

87.) Santa Claus?: Elf is my favorite Christmas movie

88.) Kiss on the first date?: IT DEPENDS. But if it happens? AIGHT????

89.) Angels?: Yes \QwQ/! angels are real. @rosey-ballerina is one

OTHER….

90.) Current best friend’s name: Crystal is my bff & waifu but Tyrest too but honestly Kimmy, Panda & Ceonn are also tied with those 2

91.) Eye color: Brownies eUe

92.) Favorite movie: Finding Nemo, Big Hero 6,Lion King (all 3), All 3 Yu-Gi-Oh! Movies,The Emperor’s New Groove,Mrs. Doubtfire, Moana, Wonder Woman, Mary Poppins, Arrival, The Mummy, Matilda, Harry Potter, Pokemon 3,Hercules, Grave of the Fireflies, Antman, The Producers....and a few others

I tag: @t-chan @sylphwriter @eleanorose123 @ivmysterynumbers @zexalfangirl @shybunny @galaxyeyedphoton 

[books-n-wine]

~**~ Blog Tour for Sex Ed by Z.B. Heller w/ Excerpt & Review ~**~

Sex Ed, an all-new HOT and hilarious M/M comedy from Z.B. Heller is now available!!!

Jaxson Dane is harboring a secret.

Not the fact that he’s a geeky comic book lover, or that he secretly draws his own comic, Bunny Fu Ninja Warrior. It’s not even classified information that he’s out and proud!

His secret is the shame that he’s a twenty-three-year-old virgin.

Jaxson isn’t waiting for marriage or even afraid of taking that step, he just hasn’t found the one guy who will accept all of his adorkable qualities. Due to an unfortunate mishap with a self-pleasuring apparatus and his favorite appendage, Jaxson meets Tyler Mason. The emerald-green-eyed nurse is a witness to the mortifying incident, leaving Jaxon both grateful and disappointed in their one-time meeting.

And then Tyler somehow shows up at Jaxon’s family dinner.

The very dinner at which Jaxson’s hidden virginity is revealed to everyone, including the captivating nurse.

Even though he secretly found the ER situation hilarious, Tyler is also able to look past it to see Jaxson’s genuine nature and is drawn to the charming and hapless comic book artist. He’s tempted to pursue the inexperienced Jaxson, but a recent and life-altering decision puts a damper on his wants and desires. However, the more time they spent together, the more willing he is to take the risk of juggling his new commitments and winning Jaxon’s affections.

A large, insane, and meddlesome family, two prying co-workers, and a sexy nurse are all trying to give Jaxson a crash course in Sex Ed. Will he pass?

  Goodreads | Amazon US * UK

I opened the nightstand and found the toy I had ordered online. A guy I knew from one of the comic forums I belonged to swore by this toy. All right, maybe we talked about all types of things and not just comics on this particular forum. One time there might have been a discussion about which character we would bang and it sort of went off the cliff from there. My choice would be Superman because I have a dream of being plowed while flying at the same time. My second choice would be Spiderman, because I would be curious as to what he could do with all that webbing. Maybe a little Spidey BDSM play?

The toy which sat in my hand was called The Jackhammer. The tag line on the construction-yellow box read, Giving you a Hand at Jacking Off. The man pictured on the box was wearing a hard hat with only the Jackhammer covering his essential parts. His face was contorted into orgasmic pleasure.

I opened the box and pulled out a plastic object that was about ten inches long. The toy was bright, school bus yellow, with one wide end that narrowed towards the bottom, giving it the illusion of a jackhammer. The fuller end was covered in a clear, soft silicone, with a hole in the middle, which I assumed is where your dick was supposed to go. I threw the box on the floor and lay down on my bed, propping a pillow under my head and making myself comfortable.

With vigorous excitement, I grabbed my stiff dick again and slipped the Jackhammer over the crown, slowly bringing it down the shaft. It felt comfortable and effortless as I wiggled it down until it hit the base. Inside of the toy, the ridges of the silicone made my already sensitive dick want to explode.

My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I pulled the toy painstakingly back up the shaft. I moaned and fisted my hand around the outside, so I could get a good grip on the toy to move it up and down. I looked down to see my shaft appear and then disappear again, the ridged edges inside rubbed against my skin, blessing me with exquisite pleasure.

I closed my eyes and brought myself back to the hypothetical frat house. Kaleb’s throbbing cock jutted out in front of me, waiting for me to take it into my watering mouth. The other brothers surround us, pulling out their own cocks to stroke while they looked upon Kaleb and I. Kaleb grabbed the base of his cock, clutched a handful of my hair and said, “open up.”  Of course, I did, because I wasn’t going to deny Fantasy Kaleb. I let him fuck my mouth as I took him all the way down my throat. In this make believe world I had no gag reflex and some pretty mad oral skills.

I pulled the Jackhammer faster along my length as I started to feel the familiar sensation of an orgasm settling at the base of my spine. My balls drew upwards and I knew that I was going to blow my load any minute. I moved the toy faster, its suction tightening around me.

Then it happened. Pain. A pain like none I had ever known, almost paralyzing my body. My eyes flew open and a shriek erupted out of my mouth like a coyote being attacked by a T-rex. I lifted my head, almost afraid to look down, and tried to move the toy slightly, but was unable to, pain searing from the tip of my dick, down the shaft, and into my groin.

Holy mother-fucking douche mongers.

My heart flipped from racing with pleasure to running in fear. I started to panic while I tried again to delicately remove the toy. After several failed attempts I knew I was screwed. With precise, delicate movements, I sat up on the bed, reached to the floor and grab the box the toy came in. I examined it and searched if there was a secret release to get this fucker off. I flipped the box over, scanning the words until I saw some directions I failed to read.

Must use lubricant inside silicone to avoid rupture.

Rupture of what? My dick? Holy shit, I had a ruptured dick! I don’t want to walk around having my dick split in half. What would that mean if I had to pee? Would it go into two different streams? Do people understand how hard it is to point and aim one stream? Now I’ll have two to worry about? What about sex? Will I stick one-half of my dick inside someone while jerking the other side off? Oh, the humanity!

***4.5 ‘Shamrock & Bunny Fu* Stars***

The blurb is what caught my interest and had me taking a chance on it, because who doesn’t love seeing the geeky, adorkable character get their happily ever after? And while there were a few things that didn’t quite hit the mark for me, Jaxson, Tyler and their journey to their HEA was practically perfect! There are a lot of humorous moments, of all degrees, but there is also a whole lot of heart in the mix that made it difficult to put down and kept a dopey smile on my face until the very end.

Jaxson really is seriously all kinds of adorkable and is very comfortable in his own skin, especially with the way his family is ~ they would have the Devil looking for a place to hide when they get going. He has his insecurities tend to mess with his head, but his sense of humor, quick wit and heart make it difficult to not fall for him.

Tyler, for lack of a better description, is simply a really good guy. It may make him sound boring, but it’s the most apt and precise way to describe him. He loves his family, his job and is conscientious of how his actions may affect others. He’s sweet and charismatic with a great sense of humor and loads of patience.

The incident that brings about Jaxson and Tyler’s first collision is nothing short of painful. When I realized what was going to happen I cringed because even I know the in’s and out’s of what one is supposed to do with THAT. But after that I absolutely loved watching as Jax and Tyler got to know each other and became more. It was endearing, sweet, funny and smexy as they dealt with the various obstacles in their way and became stronger because of it.

This is my first read by the author and I really enjoyed it. The writing was engaging and flowed well throughout and the dual 1st person POV was done very well. And for the most part I loved the supporting cast of characters, some more than others, but they all made the story come alive.

My only issue, one that I waffled over for quite some time as to if it should affect my rating ~ which as you can see I did include to make this review as honest as possible ~ was that I didn’t find all the comedic parts funny. Some made me cringe and speed read through them and I’d put it at an almost 50/50 split on my reactions. This is very much a “It’s not you, it’s me” situation, what we find funny is a personal and sometimes minute to minute thing, and I know that some will be blowing snot bubbles because they find everything funny, some will be like me and others just won’t be into it. But what kept me turning the pages was Jax and Tyler and their journey, so I focused on them and it was more than worth it in the end!

~ Copy provided by Social Butterfly PR ~

As a little girl it was always a dream for Z.B. Heller to become She-Ra Princess of Power. Since this dream was unobtainable, she spent what was probably way to long in college trying to “find herself”. Becoming an artist scratched the creative itch until the stories in her head were getting to be to loud for her to get anything else accomplished.

She lives in St. Louis with her husband, son and Flemish Giant rabbit Chloe. In her spare time she likes to read, stalk celebraties on Twitter and create the type of art people scratch their heads about.

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