#maybe i dont have to end up like my grandmother maybe i can have a life at 90

[ryn-city]

why why why why why why why why why why why why why

[laikahh]

hey. realize that getting old isnt a nightmare. and then cry a little maybe.

[celestialtarot11]

What your loved one wants you to know 🤍

Hi friends! Today we’ll be doing a reading for what your loved one wants you to know :) this doesn’t have to necessarily be romantic! Please enjoy and feel free to like comment and reblog this post 🤍 hope all of you have been doing well! Happy picking!

Pile 1: “I am always connected with you, even in spirit,” I received the two of cups & two of pentacles for you pile 1 🥺 Whoever this is to you, I really feel like they adore you. Even if they aren’t physically with you, they feel your energy all of the time and watch over you. Even if this person did not pass on, maybe they’re at work and they think of you and they feel this warmth in their chest for you. And I also feel that their higher self is in connection with yours, regardless if they’re on this earthly realm or not, they do guide you and help you. They really do care for you and I heard “awesome connection,” 😂 they seem to be a bit of a goofball, cute. But deep down this person loves getting entangled with your energy and even if they have passed on, they still watch over you to make sure you’re safe and all is well. If this is someone romantic, they really do love being in your presence, and love everything you are. Your energy, your charisma, your emotional intelligence. They are very drawn to that. And if this is someone who passed, I almost feel they replay those memories you two spent together, its like a movie for them. Im getting this could be a very close friend, best friend, but if not thats okay 🤍 take the message as it resonates! Im getting this connection was/is very special to you and them, and I feel they definitely admire your kindness. Its like they think: how’d I end up with a friend like you? A person like you? They really admire your intelligence. I also saw 10:10 as I’m typing this 🥺 then my wifi crapped out lol. So I’m retyping it. But! The show must go on lol. I feel this person is adamant regardless of any delay or issues, they want to get through to you. They wanna talk to you even in spirit 🤍 I also don’t know if you and this person used to meet at a beach, or you and them lived by a beach, or went to travel there. Im just getting this feeling that you and them loved to go there. thanks sm pile 1 for being here! Feel free to like comment and reblog your thoughts its always appreciated!

Pile 2: Heya pile 2! Grab a snack and lets begin 🪽🤍 your person is a giver. They just wanna make sure you’re safe, financially, mentally & emotionally. They dont want something hurting you or taking away your peace. Its possible who you’re asking about could be a caregiver in your eyes, a parent, guardian, grandfather/grandmother. If not! Thats okay, please take this as it resonates but whoever this is just radiates teddy bear energy 😮‍💨 but fierce! This person has a message for you to not worry and the money will come in the right time, and everything is falling into place as it should. Something about : “it has to break down before it can begin” so old structures in your life could be falling apart, causing you to feel stressed. And then this person is here and they’re helping you whether its through spirit, or physically. I feel like they’re a rock, and they’re solid. You guys might be experiencing mental fog, and this person whether they are alive or not, their presence is helping you to think clearly. In a way, they want you to feel guided spiritually to make the best choices for you. They really want to see you empowered and being your best self, not for others but so you can really live in the moment of: “wish fulfilled,” this person is a protector! This could be a guide as well for some of you and not necessarily a human being 🤍 thats okay! Like a spirit guide! For everyone it’ll be different. But this person is closely watching you to make sure you’re doing well & if you need their help you can always ask. Whether it be in real life or through spirit. Ask for some help. They got your back, thats what they want you to know always. Thanks sm pile 2 for being here! Your presence means a lot to me. I hope you liked this and feel free to like reblog and comment! 🤍🪽

Pile 3: Hi there pile 3! I got the 8 of wands, 4 of cups for you! 🥰 Right away there’s something about you feel distant or detached from spirituality or your inner development as of recent. Its possible life got in the way of going inward and caring for yourself, but this person or spirit guide is wanting you to know that its safe to go inward. Throughout the chaos its okay to take a second and relax. I also see they want you to take some alone time to process a situation or situations that unfolded in your life. Maybe you’re working through some trauma and this guide/person is wanting you to sit with those feelings, even if it is uncomfortable. Their message: its more so about feeling those feelings and giving yourself permission, not necessarily pushing them away or looking for a distraction. This person could be into psychology, self help or philosophy! Just to help identify them lol. But this person/ spirit guide (it could be different for many of you) is urging you to find peace and calm. Its likely this person could even invite you to just sit in quiet and cuddle? Depending on who you’re asking about, I just feel like this person would be like: “come over here” and cuddle 😭 so sweet. I feel like they know you’re going through a lot. Im hearing someone’s timer go off and I almost feel like you’re bombarded with day to day busy stuff. They want to take your attention (kindly) away from that so you can relax. They just want to extend their safe energy to you so you can rest, so sweet 🥺 pls take care of yourself pile 3! I just feel this person wants to swoop you and wrap you in a burrito blanket to keep you from working lol. I can totally see them putting on a movie and making popcorn and saying: “nope. No work right now. Just you and me.” And if this is a spirit guide! Regardless of having someone or not they still want you to make time for the things you love, without needing to justify it. You dont need to do big things all the time. Big adult things. Just be! 😭🤍 thanks sm pile 3! I hope you have a wonderful one and please like comment and reblog to help this blog grow 🥺🤍 tysm!

Paid readings 🤍

Thanks sm to everyone for reading and being here! Im working on uploads and getting things moving forward again! Astro posts will be coming in the future when I’ve got my schedule down. I really hope this post helped yall get clarity. I know in the tarot community theres a whole lot of romance, and not enough room for platonic connections, so I wanna be the one to include that too. Love yall 🤍 -D

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

you know i've been thinking about the consequences of malleus's actions in book 7 and i realized how much he's fucked everyone over including his grandma. bc like other than the fact that he ob'd (which literally has NEGATIVE connotations one of which being is idk ""UNSTABLE"" which isnt necessarily a good look for a crown prince is all im saying) he's literally causing terrorism (??? can you call it that idk how else to call it) which is going to setback his grandma's efforts (and lilia's and baul's, and every supporter of his and his family) in keeping peace in their kingdom and the favor of the humans towards the fae. Like. i feel so bad for grandmother draconia rn i can only imagine the stress and pressure she's under.

Then theres also aside from PHYSCIALLY compromising everyone's healths in sage island (BECAUSE THE MAJORITY ARE HUMANS OR AT LEAST THEY DONT LIVE AS LONG AS THE FAE). He's also fucked everyone mentally twice over!!!! By booting them straight into a world where none of their problems exist. Now that wouldnt sound bad if it weren't for the fact that dreams have to end, and life isnt kind. It rarely ever is, and i can only imagine how distraught i would be if i were to say, hypothetically lost someone a year before and the wound is so fresh and raw and, in my dreams, they never died and everything is okay, then i wake up and realize that it was just that. A dream, they are still gone and i wish i never woke up which would be a LITERAL DEATH SENTENCE. This isnt just an event that takes place in NRC either BUT THE WHOLE ISLAND and that domain is GROWING, GROWING. I can't imagine just how many would be so emotionally ruined after this. Like.....

If Malleus does not suffer the consequences of his actions istg i will be so pissed, at least REMOVE HIM FROM THE PREMISE OR SOMETHING GODDDDDDD this cannot be remedied with a slap on the hand!!!!!

(Note: Sorry for the long rant. I felt the need to get this out of my chest bc i dont mind malleus's archetype actually nor do i actually hate him, bc i enjoy him interacting w other characters a lot (my fave ever vigenette is him giving deuce the equivalent of minecraft diamon for fixing a retrobit gaming toy) BUT GOD DOES HE MAKE MY BLOOD BOIL)

Yeah, I do feel like the scale of Malleus's actions cannot be understated. I know it's kind of a fandom joke that the OB boys are left off with a slap on the wrist + maybe some social ramifications at school, but this is the ONE time in the main story where things are getting super big and the effects could be cripplingly long-lasting.

I don't know if TWST will seriously address the consequences after book 7, but I sure hope they do!! There is a lot of interesting ground to cover (many points which this anon has already brought up) in a follow-up main story arc or the next book.

For example:

Malleus obviously has to regain the trust of his peers and staff. He didn’t really have it before but now has to work twice as hard to make connections since he just took a drastic action that confirmed the rumors some were already spreading about how he’s a monster.

He’s the sole heir to the throne and has just betrayed the trust of the people of Briar Valley. How are they feeling about him now? Do they still trust him to lead them?

How does this impact their relations with other countries (since Malleus himself stresses how he represents Briar Valley)? This is a problem visible on a global scale, and surely this would damage their rep with other nations, particularly the predominantly human ones. It’s setting back what is hundreds of years of trying to fix the broken trust between their races.

Malleus’s UM potentially puts his victims in physical harm; in book 7, Ortho suggests that since everyone is sleeping, their bodies are not getting the food or water they need. As a result, they may physically waste away and then perish. (We have seen that there are sleep blessings that keep people sleeping for hundreds of years without detriment to the blessed though, such as the one cast on Silver—so we cannot be entirely sure if Ortho’s theory is correct or not.)

There is the possibility that Malleus’s dreams may traumatize or retraumatize his victims, particularly those with deep rooted troubles. An example of this is Idia, who had suffered the loss of his brother when he was like… 8 years old??? But then in his dream, Idia is living a happy false reality that Ortho never died. When he finally comes to this realization, he has to relive the trauma of the discovery all over again and breaks down sobbing. We also see in the most recent book 7 update that Vil had to face the evilest aspects of himself and a dark reality; Rook became very emotional upon waking himself. Admittedly, Idia and co. coped with it well enough—this is proof of their character development and the strength of the new friendships they’ve formed. However, all the people on Sage’s Island/Twisted Wonderland may not react so positively or be so accepting of their cruel realities.

Again, just the overall moral dilemma of one person robbing all of Sage’s Island (and soon all of Twisted Wonderland) of their autonomy.

Potential extra work for STYX and whichever countries Malleus’s magic manages to spread to (repairing any physical damage caused by the thorns + mental damage done to those that fell asleep). That’s money, time, and resources that aren’t going toward other everyday endeavors.

How will Malleus himself mentally and emotionally cope with what he has done? Is he going to show remorse and shame? How does he plan on rectifying his actions, if at all?

Will this change how his dorm members + family view him? For example, will Sebek become disillusioned with his liege/realize Malleus is not as perfect as he seems? Will Maleficia blame herself for not being there for Malleus? Will Lilia feel guilty for not teaching Malleus right from wrong? Etc, etc, etc.

I’d honestly love to read all of these! 🤔 It would add a lot to the lore and history of Twisted Wonderland, as well as serve as motivators for Malleus to change, “be better”, and actually earn the respect he’s so used to being handed by default. This would be huge for him, especially seeing as he has not really faced significant backlash or consequences for any other missteps he was responsible for or involved in. (I know I bring this one up a lot, but Endless Halloween Night is one such major example.)

[marymary-diva17]

Heartbreak (2)

Loak x mother reader + sully family and tonowair family

Dealing with heartbreak was something that has to be dealt with on, the one’s heart on their own time and pace. Heartbreak was something that everyone from humans and navi felt once in their life. How can someone deal with heartbreak and rejection at the same time, well they will learn to overcome said heartbreak and rejection on their own ways. Some of these people change and are recognized by their families, while this change sometimes shocks everyone around them. Maybe change is good for everyone and finding a new light will be good in the end.

Y/n “ good morning loak” you look at your son as he left his room early in the morning, it has been months since the whole heartbreak. Loak had obeyed everyone wishes and stayed away, he stayed away from his siblings and his parents. He even stood far away from tisreya and her brother, along with tonowari and ronal.He seem to be staying away form the humans and the rest of clan of forest and reef.

loak “ good morning mom”

y/n “ ready for a new day my son”

loak “ always mom”it had taken loak some time accept the heartbreak, but it seems like something changed in him. Over the weeks when he was coming to understand everything that was happening. He had spent this whole time at your home verse going back and forth, in the past. He started keeping away from everybody else for the first week, but he did try to speak with them and make amends and try to be a better friend and brother that didn’t work and lead to fight. Between him and Ao’nung and the some kids which result him getting yelled by ronal and the other mothers, saying that fight proved he was more right for tsireya and monster. Some of the older kids and younger kids were told to stay away from him, or would whisper about him. So loak when to you for comfort and the humans as well, even his grandmother was there as well.

y/n “ I’m happy you are doing well I was wondering where my adventures and dare devil boy had gone” loak had then after the fight decided to keep away from everyone, even when you told him he didn’t have to he thought it will be for the best. It seem to make him feel better as he was hanging out with you or moat learn form the both of you, and learning form the humans as well. He would always spend time with payakan and explore more the ocean, and everything else.

loak “ I’m sorry mama for changing like that I, know it was wrong for me to make all these changes”

y/n “ listen my son I’m proud of you finding, some happiness and explore more of your life always coming back home with stories to tell”

loak “ thanks mama” you smile at loak he did change, and it made you happy to see him and discovering himself. He even started wearing new clothes and different hair styles, that was like his old own but a bit different and some human touch as well.

y/n “ going off today”

lo'ak " yes there are some stuff grandmother with some of the elders and the humans, have asked me to gather for them that is pass the reef"

y/n " oh I see you are becoming a major helper around here"

lo'ak " well I do want to pull my weight around here mama, and I'm with payakan so I will be safe from ant danger"

y/n " well stay safe my baby boy"

lo'ak " yes mama is there anything I can get you"

y/n " well I need some shells, seaweed, and coral from beyond the reef but I can ..."

lo'ak " no mama let me get them for you it will be fine"

y/n " well if you are okay with that then thank you my son"

lo'ak " it seems like my task have drawn the attention of tonowari and Jake scouts, along with some other scouts of other clans"

y/n " have they said anything to you my son"

lo'ak " no mama they seem to be keeping their distance from me or dont see I'm there at all ... it seems like after a while I have become faster on land and water thanks to help of you and the others"

y/n " well I'm happy to see my son is doing well" lo'ak was growing up before your eyes, you soon hugged him.

y/n " well remember to eat some breakfast and drink some juice before you leave, I don't need you getting hunger and thirsty out there"

lo'ak " yes mama" lo'ak soon sat down and started eating his breakfast and drinking the juice, once he was done he was getting ready to leave on his IIu.

norm " hey there y/n and lo'ak"

lo'ak " hey norm heading out in a few and I promise I will get you the stuff you need"

norm " thanks kid but remember you don't need to get everything, we don't need you to overwork youself"

lo'ak " yes sir"

mo'at " good morning everyone"

lo'ak " morning grandmother"

mo'at " I see you are heading off for the day my grandson"

lo'ak " yes I'm I will be home with the stuff asked for and maybe anything else I find"

mo'at " you have your mother sprit thank the great mother" everyone had laughed a bit. lo'ak soon bid everyone goodbye he had perfected, the right time to leave and clans schedule so he will not be bumping into anyone. Lo'ak had started this as he wish not to bring anymore trouble to himself and you after hearing had horrible the other women were, talking about you he wanted to change make life for you better. That had changed a while ago as he started living his life for himself and love the support he got from his mom, grandmother and many uncles/aunts that cared for him.

later that day

y/n " ......" you are walking around the village avoiding running into anyone, but it seems like unknown to you that you had gone through some changes as well. Your hair seems to become more beautiful over these months, and you were now carrying yourself in a whole new way now these days.

mo'at " y/n"

y/n " hello mo'at"

mo'at " may I have some words with you about lo'ak"

y/n " sure you can"

mo'at " good lets speak somewhere else we don't need other ear dropping on our conversation" you had seen some navi giving you looks, and you just rolled your eyes at them.

y/n " sure" you and mo'at soon walked away together and soon stopped when you were far enough from everyone else.

mo'at " I was wondering how you are doing"

y/n " I'm doing well I thought there was a chance everything will change, and that Jake and neytiri will come around but I was a fool"

mo'at " you are not a fool they are fools"

y/n " now. my son is going through heartbreak and I don't wish for this to stop him from finding true love"

mo'at " lo'ak will find true love one day and you will find new love as well I know it ... the both of you deserve happiness after all that happened"

y/n " thank you mo'at" mo'at soon brought you into a embrace making you happy. Lo'ak and mo'at are right it was time you gave love a chance again it has been so long, and were done waiting around for those who might not love you back.

Later on that day on the beach

lo'ak " finally home" lo'ak had arrived home and the sun was about to go down he had got everything that was asked for him, and some fish as well. He soon got onto the dock and hoist all the nets of stuff onto the dock. He was dragged the nets and baskets filled with items, as she was walking on the walking that bouncy at his ever movement.

lo'ak " drop off the stuff for grandmother at her home now I'm heading to the humans homes" When it had started for lo'ak he was not that strong but over time he had become stronger, he was not able to lift stuff on his own at times. He was making his way toward the human home, it didnt take him long to get there.

max " hey kid"

lo'ak " hey max I came with the stuff"

max " wow thanks lo'ak this will supply us for four months we will be good"

lo'ak " you welcome I had learned a way to caught more and collect in my now way"

max " well kid you did an arming job"

lo'ak " thank you" lo'ak soon head off he had offered to stay and help but the adults had told him they were okay, and to enjoy the rest of the day before it was over. That what he had done he gone swimming with payakan having a good time, until sunset when he was needed back at home.

???? " no my toy" lo'ak was walking out the water when a child toy came flying pass him, and quickly lo'ak had caught it in his hands like it was nothing.

lo'ak " ......."

???? " lo'ak" lo'ak soon heard his little sister voice he soon saw tuk standing at the shore, lo'ak smile and looked at his sister.

lo'ak " you almost lost this tuk tuk and it seems like dad put alot of work into it"

tuk " thank you lo'ak" lo'ak soon handed back the toy to his sister and patted her head.

lo'ak " your welcome but you shouldn't be alone at this moment tuk, it not safe"

tuk " I'm not alone I'm with everyone else "

lo'ak " who everyone else"

???? " tuk did you get the toy" lo'ak knew that voice to well and by the sound of it the owner of that voice was not that far, because soon enough lo'ak came face to face with everyone else.

neteyam " lo'ak"

lo'ak "hello"

tuk " you all should of seen it lo'ak caught my toy so fast I could barley see it happen"

spider " really"

kiri " wow that amazing lo'ak"

lo'ak " well I heard a child calling for their toy sounding sad and it passed by me, so I brought it back" lo'ak was acting distace towards everyone.

neteyam " that move baby brother"

lo'ak " thank you"

???? " is that lo'ak"

???? " no that can't be him ... it just can't be" soon lo'ak had heard more voices and soon looked passed his brother shoulder and saw, tsireya with her brother and rotox. all three teens were looking at lo'ak shocked and soon enough his siblings were doing the same as well.

lo'ak " well I should get going anyway I will see you all around or tomorrow" lo'ak was about to walk awya when neteyam had got in his way.

neteyam " wait hold up there you think we are going to let you walk away after seeing that you have changed, and that one Mallory thing we haven't talked to you that much"

kiri " yes we barley seen you as well we miss you"

lo'ak " I don't think that will be good as I had been asked to stay away or keep my distance ... I will keep that going until future notice and respect everyone wishes"

aonung " dude it been so long we will love to be with you right now we miss you"

rotxo " yes we miss you"

neteyam " hey dad the dinner tonowari family, tsu'tey, and spider, rotox have been invited to come as well"

lo'ak " ......"

kiri " you didn't know"

lo'ak " nope it seems like we all have been busy"

neteyam " them come we caught so much food it wil be fun and we can invite mama as well, it will be like old time and fun we can caught up"

tuk " yes it will be fun a big dinner party"

lo'ak " I don't think that will be the smart idea as not everyone will be welcoming and comfortable, and we most respect their decision"

tsireya " lo'ak I will love to have you and your mom at dinner it will be fun, and I wish to talk with you and her again it been so long" lo'ak was going to say something as he knew this was a bad idea already.

Jake " kids there you all are I was starting to think you all forgot about the dinner tonight, as you all been helping get it ready"

neteyam "sorry sir tuk we were put playing and talk when tuk lost her toy"

tuk " but lo'ak saved it for me"

Jake " lo'ak" soon lo'ak was looking at his father but he was not alone tsu'tey and tonowari were with them. Soon enough ronal and neytiri showed up as well.

neytiri " lo'ak"

lo'ak " hello everyone"

Jake " wow son I could barely recognize you there wow how much you have changed"

lo'ak " yes change happens"

neytiri " it so good to see you"

Jake " yes It so good .... hey if you siblings and friends haven't told you we are having a dinner ..."

kiri " we told him dad but he says it will be not good to make everyone uncomfortable if he comes"

tonowari " son you should come to this dinner as you are the son of Jake sully and it will be good for you and your family"

neytiri " yes you cna invited y/n as well we have missed her, and we will love to caught up with our son and her as well"

Jake " yes where is she I haven't seen her"

lo'ak " she most be out I supposed she will be home before dinner"

Jake " well in the meantime you can join us it will be good" that soundly like a lie to lo'ak, but before he could say anything else a call had been heard from above and soon enough y/n had been seen on her ikran. she soon landed on the sandy beach and got off her ikran.

tuk " mama" tuk ran to greet her and give her a big hug she soon hugged her back as well.

y/n " hey sweetie it good to see all of you .... and other this is unusual welcome party"

Jake " hey y/n it good to see you ... umm there a dinner tonight and we were inviting you and lo'ak to join us for dinner it will be fun"

y/n " thank you for the offer but I have to tell you we have other plan for dinner, and it will be good to respect everyone personal space and comfort"

neytiri " but ......"

y/n " it okay and we don't wish to ruin that dinner that seems very important and has been planned out, maybe some other time when everything good and clam"

Jake " oh sure"

y/n " children I hope you will stop by for a chance to talk if you wish I'm not here to make you"

neteyam " yes mama"

Jake " well I hope to see you two more often as the family is not the same without the two of you"

y/n " yes family is every important goodnight everyone and be safe" you soon bid goodbye to the children before you walked away, lo'ak had walked away without saying anything else but he did wave goodbye to tuk. The others soon went home but it felt like someone was completely off at the moment, as they were missing people who are very important to them, and now life is very uncomfortable. That seems to be the consequences of actions made, and these actions will not be able to repair very easily as everyone thinks.

[anangelinthepit]

Bruise My Bones but Leave My Heart Alone

Hey guys! So after careful consideration and a few touch ups I decided to fix my story and repost . Some stuff may still look the same but I did fix a lot of error. I am warning every now ‼️ This story has a lot of touchy subjects such as domestic violence and swearing. Please be advised but also enjoy the story. As always with love Magenta

Part 1

I was never one for romance, well actually that’s a lie. I used to be but then I got with Jason. The guy who I thought was the love of my life. Jason never really showed me much affection and looking back on it, I should have ended things sooner. At this point I feel like I’m roped in for life with him, he knows my body even though he thinks I should have work done. “No one is gonna want you when you look like that. I’m all you got. Don’t blow it.”

I have let myself go but I still look in the mirror and think I’m pretty.

Nevertheless, his words hurt, and soon after words started to become actions. He wouldn’t hit me all the time, just days when I made him angry. Jason hated the fact that I believed in God and had a cross necklace that I always wore. It was the last thing I had of my grandmother and It meant the world to me. I do believe in God but I do sometimes wonder why he doesn’t help me.

“Where is your God now? if he’s real maybe he should stop my fist from going into your stomach.” He said mocking me while striking a match to light his cigarette.

I laid on the floor with a bloody nose and lip. Not being able to take a single breath because the wind had also been kicked out of me. In a swift motion Jason put out his cigarette then charged over to me. I knew it wasn’t over but I prayed to god that it soon would be.

“Give me a good fucking reason why I shouldn’t rip this off your neck and throw it down the fucking drain .” He said while grasping my throat.

“P…lease….Don’t… I promise I’ll listen.” I choked out.

At this point my throat was on fire and I genuinely thought he was gonna make me pass out. He let go of me and shoved me onto the floor.

“Y/N I told you when I’m out with the guys you DONT call my phone. You send me a fucking text. Understand?”

Jason relit his cigarette, took a couple of puffs and sighed. I could see he was coming down from his rage, I was relived but at didn’t mean my suffering was over. It was just put on hold for the time being.

“Come here babydoll.” He said

I slowly got up to the best of my ability, and limped towards him. I still had bruises from last week’s episode and being so fragile, let’s just say I bruise like a peach.

“ I’m sorry , I promise I’ll learn to control my anger next time. It’s just you know the rules and it make me angry cause I feel like you’re not listening to me.. you know I hate that”

Jason holding me hadn’t brought me any sort of comfort in years. Not sure why he thought this time would be any different, especially when the phrase “I’m sorry” Is a complete lie

“ Do you trust me my love?”

“yes” I said reluctantly.

“Good let’s go to bed.”

Later on that night, Jason wanted to apparently show me how truly sorry he was. I told him I couldn’t because I was on my period, and wasn’t feeling the greatest. Thankfully that was enough for him to push me away and leave me alone for the night. I decided to put my ear buds in and listened to my favorite song, humming it to myself in hopes I can slip into a dream.

“Weight down on me stay tillll morning weigh down would you say I’m worthy?”

A dream where Noah from bad Omens is singing me to sleep. Where he never hits me and thinks I’m so beautiful that he can’t take his eyes off me. A dream where he actually makes me feel like I’m worth something.

That’s all I want is to feel like I’m actually worth something.

I woke up the next day with the East coast sun shining right through my window. Showing me a reminder if what happened last night I get distracted by my phone going off with a text from my best friend Delilah

Delilah

GURLLLL GUESS WHAT?!?!

Me

I’m assuming is has something to do with Noah from Bad Omens but I’ll humor you. What?

Delilah

Bad omens is performing in our town in a month! And guess who already got us tickets !!!!!!!!! Also I found an address you can send fan mail. Write them a letter and see if we can get free t shirt

Me

Envie if this is a joke it’s not funny. If it isn’t a joke ASSFGGHHJKLLAHGD I LOVEEEEEE YOUIOO. Omfg really? Seriously. t shirts. you kill me

Delilah

GIRLLL I WOUDL NEVER PLAY WITH YOUR EMOTIONS LIKE THAT ! You and I got VIP passes that’s included a MEET AND GREET

Me

Have I ever told you you are my best friend

Delilah

Girl I am your only friend and I know🤪 I gotta go at work ttyl love you!!!! Ps im sending you the address now WRITE TO THEM 123 Main Street San Bernadad CA 12245

Me

Lovvvweeeeee youuuuuuuu and omfg your nutty

I was so excited until I realized I was gonna have to ask Jason. I met Jason through Delilah and her boyfriend. We always did double dates but they had no idea bout what happened behind close doors. Maybe Envie can talk to him, it might be easier.

Id be lying if I said I didn���t want to send them a letter, so I started writing. I sat at my desk with complete writers block. What the hell do you say to a band where all you wanna do is kiss everything single one of them? I finally had an idea when suddenly a hand yanks my hair and pulls me out of my chair

“You stupid fucking bitch were you going through my phone ? How did you get my co workers number!

*slap*

“Fucking answer me you skank!”

“Jason stop! he gave to me after we went over to his house remember?! Our car was in the shop and you were gonna need a ride to work the next day. You were standing right there!” I said crying and trying to shield my face

Jason grabs my necklace and rips it off my chest. I let out a begging scream

“JASON PLEASE DON’T!!” I screamed. At this point tears were just pouring down my face and I feared he was gonna get rid of it.

Jason looked at me and just chucked it other floor.

“I’m going out for a fucking drink, don’t call my goddamn phone. got it?”

I shook my head and scrambled to get my necklace. Thank god I was able to piece it back together. With the damming of our front door I saw up in my chair and decided what I was gonna write.

Dear Noah

I wanna tell you how much of a fan I am and how your music is truly beautiful. Bad Omens has really helped me through my hard times. I’m sending this necklace to you in hopes you can keep it safe until I can get it back. It’s not safe with me anymore. I promise I'll explain if I ever get the chance to meet you in person. Please. With all my love

-Y/N

After putting it in the mail I almost felt so silly.

“he’s gonna looks that and laugh. Probably think I’m pathetic. For a man who talks about dethroning god. Sending him a cross necklace is like putting a hat on a hat.” I thought it myself. Honestly grave myself second hand embarrassment. I should have just asked for t shirts. Well here goes nothing.

************************************************

I love you all so very much ❤️

[goldenkamuyhunting]

I wonder if you still will answer an ask / question. My ask is Do you personally think / feel there is some character that's like ended up a waste ( in term development ) or just.. didn't need to exist / continue into the next chapter at some point ? Like example, in your analysis Ogata should just died in vol 19 something like that I think.. I suddenly think like.. Vasily is a big waste or maybe he shouldn't continue to be Ogata's rival because I personally dont see it, sometimes i really think he's just like a fan service character ? Vasily went to take revenge on Ogata and go as for to Japan for that, that sound kinda romantic or something someone said that and i really dont see that ( I think Vasily fans gonna hate me ). I think Tsukishima & Koito prolly the same case at the end how they ended up breaking their loyalty to Tsurumi. I'm sorry if it's wrong the end of chapter kinda confuse me a lot.

Yes, I do still answer, even if sometimes I'm really slow about it.

Should I warn everyone that this isn't a Noda apprecciation post and that the back button in this case might be your best friend?

I hope people will be intuitive enough to figure it out on their own so without further ado let's dig into this.

Do I personally think / feel there is some character that's like ended up a waste ( in term development ) or just.. didn't need to exist / continue into the next chapter at some point ?

Oh yes. I feel quite a lot got wasted and this doesn't include just characters but also plot points actually.

Before someone will say something, I'll clear up a couple of things about what I mean.

First of all, this is my personal opinion. It's not The Truth. It's just how I feel.

Second, for me a story has to fit with Anton Chekhov's advice: If it's not essential, don't include it in the story. Especially, I'll add, if you want to write only 31 volumes and then you'll end up rushing things to fit everything in them.

So, let's start.

Let's cut from the story Sugimoto's feelings for Umeko which go nowhere and supposedly ended when Kikuta told him he should let Umeko go. He could be just in the story to help a friend's wife. After all that's why he's in the story in the anime, which completely cut Umeko's role and, anyway, it seems that's what Noda wanted since Sugimoto supposedly wanted to marry Umeko solely because Toraji told him so.

Q: Sugimoto’s main motivation to participate in the gold hunt was to heal Umeko, the girl who was his childhood friend and whom he loved. However, in the last chapter, he gives his share of the gold to Umeko’s son, since her eyes were already healed. Why did you do that?

Noda: If Umeko had not remarried and her eyes weren’t healed, the story would have needed a few more chapters, which, considering that it was post-climax, would have made it drag on needlessly.

The reason for that is Toraji told Sugimoto to get together with Umeko before dying, and he is not the kind of guy who could have ignored that and return to Hokkaido with Asirpa. [Noda’s interview for Yomiuri online paper]

Actually also let's cut her eye problems. Let's send Sugimoto to get money for Toraji's son, so he can go to school. If the whole thing with Umeko becomes a bother that needs to be solved offscreen without Sugimoto's intervention, let's just not include it.

The same goes for Ogata's feelings for his grandmother. We are told that Ogata didn't kill Tanigaki because he was a grandmother's boy and so he didn't want to murder Huci even though not killing Tanigaki causes him plenty of troubles and then... it turns out in an interview he probably poisoned his grandparents and they're no more discussed in the story.

Q17: Are Ogata’s grandparents still alive? If not, how did they die? Noda: They both disappeared before Ogata enlisted. There was half-eaten food left on the table. [Q&A section from the Golden Kamuy fanbook]

Honestly I would cut also Tanigaki's tragic backstory with his sister because... it goes nowhere in the end. He completely forgets he was meant to go back home and tell his father how his sister died, he actually goes back home because he has Inkarmat and Tsurumi is hunting him.

And since we're at it, let's cut the whole "Huci might die of worry for Asirpa", since Huci gets all better as soon as they hand her a baby.

Note that those plot points were all things I liked when I assumed they would go somewhere... instead they are just brushed off, forgotten or solved offscreen. They didn't really serve to the story, Ogata could have not killed Tanigaki because too many in the village saw him entering in Huci's house and might attack him if he were to shoot at her, and Tanigaki could have gone after Asirpa because she saved his life.

Then we've characters like Svetlana, who served zero purpose, Ogata and Vasily that were kept alive for no reason at all after Vol 19, the whole subplot with Central that went nowhere along with Wada's murder, since Tsurumi has the support of Yodogawa and could have gotten the weapons from him instead than doing it from behind Wada's back and then killing him.

To have Wilk include, among the tattooed convicts, a well known child murderer and who cares if that guy would go on murdering children once free (even though murdering children is generally considered one of the most disgusting crimes even by criminals) and his daughter is also a child, makes a huge disservice to Wilk as a supposedly good father.

Saving Tsurumi was unneeded, and the same goes for the whole Tsukishima-Koito-Tsurumi plot that goes nowhere.

Sofia shouldn't have known she had no part in Tsurumi's daughter's death if, afterward, she was meant to die thinking solely at how regretful she felt for it, and not at how her men died because she thought trying to fulfil Wilk and Kiro's dream was a good plan.

And since Jack the Ripper was clearly so poorly researched about, Noda could have just turned him into some Japanese mad slasher, no need to toss in the story another murderer who kills because he's a Christian with warped beliefs like Sekiya... and talking about warped belief and psychological problems already seen, we've Heita who has warped Ainu religion beliefs and hears voices like Edogai... okay, he's actually worse than Edogai but still close enough.

And what about the fake skins plot? Noda even forgot one of those fake skins at a certain point and solved the plot abruptly.

Ariko didn't need to 'die' to be resurrected short after and then STAY OUT OF THE STORY and not even help Asirpa, despite his father being the one who triggered the Ainu massacre falling for Tsurumi's manipulation. Not that the guy knows so this too was unneeded.

And actually the story would have probably benefitted by having Inkarmat die due to her wound and Ienaga be killed once she saved Sugimoto.

And should we dig into Tsukishima's tragic backstory which also go nowhere?

Or the rather terrible story of the raped white bear?

The extra story of the roasted little bird?

The whole "Wakayama was the one behind the skin in Barato" plot with annexed the whole "searching for the skins is useless" which gets forgotten with a shrug?

And let's not forget the whole Central plot that goes nowhere. Tsurumi knew already of the gold, Ogata got involved by Central for unclear reasons (why pick him?) and Kikuta got in the game too late and contributed too little all for Central to do basically nothing in the story.

And, since we're at it, the whole Noboribetsu thing was also handled poorly.

I guess I could add more but that's what came to my mind as of now. I fear it's already way too much...

Now, I've basically rushed up through everything and I realize this instead would need to be expanded to be more understandable, as some plot points/characters might seem of relevance... when actually could have been solved way more quickly and efficently... especially since at the end Noda rushed through the story because he wanted to end at vol 31.

If one has a set a specific volume for the ending he should do well his math and not add extra that merely dilute the story for no real purpose.

If it's not essential, don't include it in the story.

But whatever, if you or someone else now feels the need for clarifications of why some plot points/characters felt useless/didn't deserve to live that long, you can write me.

If you or someone else feel they actually were important, okay, that's your opinion, I'm not saying you've to change it, just don't try to change mine. I prefer not to argue about things I didn't like of GK, it makes happy no one and feels rather boring.

Sorry if this wasn't what you were hoping for and thank you for your ask!

[thal-ent]

(bit of an unreliable narrator here Eheh <3

Lycarn belongs to @hel-phoenyx, Ether to @noa-de-cajou and Circé, Morgane and Ai/Xingtzao to @corneille-but-not-the-author)

"Lets' fun away together !" she used to say, half joking when they were just kids. Chiho would never leave her grandmother alone, they both knew it.

"I'm leaving." She still said, a violin all she gave to the girl that loved her and she loved just as much. She never came back, not for Agathe, not for her grandmother. There was hope for two years. Then Yusuke came back alone, and even with her eyes closed, Agathe could picture the look of pity he gave her.

"Take care of him, please." She tells the old woman, now that her brother is asleep. Their parents are dead, and she can't stay here. He was the one to push her to do it, to leave and explore. The old woman still weeps and begs her to come back one day, and play at her tomb. Agathe promises.

"She likes you too, you know ?" It's been years. She's older, she has friends. They've been drinking, and when she tries to talk about something else, the alcohol makes her friend insist. She hates how he, who got her love first, seems to try so hard to make the second choice happy. But he's her friend, and she loves his wife.

"Take care love." It's the last words she tells her, when their paths diverge. It's a nickname they rarely use, only when it's only the three of them. Ogami hugs her, and she hugs him back. They're around as old as her parents were when they died. And she doesn't want to see that. Maybe they're still young for humans, but she doesn't want to take the risk. Her lips touch Shira's for the last time and they dont say goodbye.

"You're doing it again." He tells her, as perceptive as ever. They spent the last fifteen years together, she taugh her nephews and nieces what their fathers couldn't. But only him, her dear brother, could see how she was, alone fixing a grave she couldnt see. His husband was dead for a year, he knew he wouldn't last a lot younger. He knew his sister, immortal and still so young, was staying for him, for "his" family. He knew she had a hard time thinking it was hers, a fear so deeply rooted in her.

"Thank you." She tells him when she leaves again, and he tells her and she hugs him for the last time.

"What do you think ?" So many people ask her, when they warm her bed or her skin. She never stays long, always tells her the truth. It's rare she dislike those girls, rare they dislike her. Yet, she always knows she's not what they wanted. She knows had their initial love not rejected them, they wouldn't have though of her for a second. And yet, they're always her first choice, her first flirt of the night.

"I want to marry you." Irène tells her, figuratively looking in eyes that are never open. She doesn't have the words, doesn't know how to react. It's been ten years, is that a normal time to marry someone ? She does have her skin tattoed like the rest of the group, does feel the need to have her lover's name on her. She hopes her name stays on Irène's face, that when she touches her face she can feel her name on her skin and prouve to herself she's loved, she's her first choice.

"You dont get it ! You can't even see it !" They never fight. It's not in their nature, despite Irène's hot-headdedness, to get into shouting matches like now. But now they are, and Agathe wants to slap the woman she loves, the woman who fears her and loves her. She just expressed how she was afraid for their fight, the next day. How she proposed to Irène to use a Symphony so dangerous she somehow knows despite never learning it, like she does her Sister Symphony. Sins and Vertues. She doesn't know how it escaladed. But she knows how it ends.

"Maybe I'd see it, if you weren't so scared of me opening my eyes !" Is the last thing they say to each other. They didn't wake her up, Irène probably looking to stop her from playing her music. And now she's dead, in Agathe's arms, cold and her blood stains the white of Agathe's outfit and wings.

"Please allow me something." She did it in a moment of panic. She didn't know what was going to happen to them, now that Morgane and Circé were gone, as were the rest of the group. She wished she could have spoke with Lycarn before, but she kissed Ether and it felt right to ask her, even if the elf wanted the empress before she wanted Agathe.

"Do you want something ?" She asked Lycarn, who was looking so, so sad. She had seen Circé's aura leave the woman, and even if she wasn't the girl's first choice, she wanted to make her happy, let her have something at least. So she took her hand, kissed her, carressed her. She felt the subtle scars, the muscles. She wanted to give enough love that Lycarn would forget how she got rejected. But Lycarn would pursue a ghost, and she knew it very well.

"Come dance with us." A hand is stretched out to her, a stick in it. Ether is asking her to court her, to date her. And she doesn't need to see to know Xingtzao, the empress is surprised, but she says nothing. She takes the hand, ignoring the voice in her head, just for a night, and dances with two women she wants to stay alive with.

"Can you describe them to me ?" It's soft, barely audible to most ears, but they're both next to her, and they have better hearing than most. So they tell her. They take her hand. She smiles to herself.

"Can I ask you something...?" It's been so long, since their quest, and yet Ai is so timid with her still. Agathe is not sure how to take it, how to dance with the woman who made her First Concubine but seems almost perturbed by Agathe's presence in the palace. Or, that's how she sees it. And she can't blame the empress, who would be comfortable to live with the woman your wife is in love with ? Even if Agathe knows Ether would choose Ai over her, and she wouldn't blame her.

"Do you need something, my moon ?" It's soft, when she asks. Lycarn is no stranger to bad dreams, but Agathe knows when her love's really shaken by one. She also knows it usually mean Lycarn's chasing a ghost that Agathe could never compare to. She doesn't resent Lycarn for it, nor does she resent Ether when she misses her deceased wife. She knows that feeling too well, has known it for years.

"I feel so... Lonely." She says to herself, when centuries have past. She's back to a village that died when she wasn't here. Can't yet bear to go look at where her loves are burried. She didn't see the Immortal King to tell him about Lycarn yet. She cries, like a little girl.

"I miss you." She tells to no one in particular, maybe hoping Death would let someone, anyone, choose her and help her, see how pathetic she is.

"I love you." It's barely a whisper.

[smashstiel]

okay i found this super funny . first question everyones asking

also godddd transmasc dean . so . LOGICALLY i know it wouldnt make sense because john wouldnt raise him the same way probably . like yeah still be a hunter but i feel like he wouldnt see a daughter the same way hed see his son as his little soldier . idk i do not trust john to be normal about having a daughter so. BUT !!! ignoring the "got anything thats real? my boobs" and "dude i got re-hymenated" and like . other things he said . the!! making himself super masculine and stuff and not showing emotions and stuff . also im sorry for being insane but the whole oh im unloveable so i just do one night stands and drink a lot��� bc hes weird and wrong cuz its early 2000s . also wasnt there a thing abt him wearing girls clothes when he was younger ?? anyway also esp early seasons his style . yes king layer up !! been there done that (3 layers at a beach in 30c) . also yesss t4t destiel !!! for me . sorryr im watching s4 ep10 and i love how when anna kissed dean they cut to castiel . hello . anyway for me cas is just like me fr . not ugy not girl not anything just chilling on his own . idk agender i guess but thats not just like me fr cuz i dont use that label . idk im going insane i was not made to sit in an office . anyway yeas trans man dean and agender cas t4t couple <33

also bc im bored and normal sooo normal . dean being soooo happy abt being tall . hey angst moment i wish i couldnt feel anything so true king<3 me when i see a guy who hates himself drinks a lot and cares abt other hey thatsme i love when characters are just like me fr<3 whatevr he was soo happy abt growing tall cuz imagine if he was shorter. like idk even if considered "tall" for a girl lets say idk 175cm. imagine him standing next to sam and his 193cm thatd be so funny . okay im done for now i think

HIIIII yes. yes. yes. yes

this is so funny "is castiel in love with dean?" dean after fanfiction episode googling 'supernatural' and 'castiel':

hmm i guess youre right. but. idk. its john winchester. maybe he just didnt care that much. or dean gaslighted him . (ok. but. the fact that he was named after his grandmother. like. if you have a firstborn son. normal people dont name them after their mothers. looking at you mary). trans kinggg!!!

tbh for me. idk im insane i read a fanfic like that once and i cant stop thinking about itt. like angels are super agender beings but . like. i csnt explain ittt right. but cas spent time on earth and kinda realized . that he actually likes being a Guy . though your version is alsooo so real bro is just chilling his ass absolutely Not caring. but considering its cas. he can absolutely be both at the same time

AND YEAAAH. if he was like 170 and sam 193. i think dean would just end himself. or sell his soul to gain more inchesssss KDJFJ

[crows-home]

Kotetsu's a bad dad, but also a good dad. He loves his daughter so much. But he's neglectful. He always thinks about Kaede, but he doesn't really know her. Here are some things I've been thinking about that, because holy shit.

Fuck I have so many thoughts about Kotetsu. He's a good person, he's a good hero, he tries his best always. Even if he's embarrassing or is a liability, he's always willing to go. Willing to put himself or his pride at risk for the sake of what's right.

But he's not a good father. Always gone, so focused on his work, that he never sees his daughter. And sure, he loves her a lot. She's his whole world and the reason he pushes himself. But that doesn't negate the fact that Kaede never had a father that was present as she grew up. And all his attempts at connection- his words, his gifts- they all feel so... surface level? "Ill give her a hair pin :) a teddy bear :) my little itty bitty baby girl"

No, buddy. Your daughter grew up. She's not four anymore. You need to communicate with her, learn her interests, and support her. Not just give her presents and empty promises. Not just talk down to her. And I know it's not all his fault. Single father, widow, the fate of so many people on his shoulder on the regular. He's not perfect, has no idea what he's doing, and just desperately wants his daughter to like him. To be proud of him.

But he was the younger sibling, probably didnt have much experience with kids younger than himself. I've seen it before. He's a parent that just wants to be Good Enough. Doesn't want to make the wrong move, and in doing so, is too loose with his parenting. Not confident.

But god, he's his daughter's biggest cheerleader, even on the side.

All Kaede had was her grandmother, who she could lose at any minute, and a dad that would always choose his work over her. She didn't know her dad was a hero, so that's all she saw. It's so much anxiety for a kid, and it makes me sad to think about.

WHICH IS WHY I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN THEY TOUCHED ON IT IN SEASON 2!!! like, Kaede actually calls him out on it!!

"Just neglect me like always. It's all you're good for!"

Fuck, hearing her say that made me flinch. It's true, and he knows it. But by season 2, it feels like Kotetsu's more... mature? I think part of it is Kaede knowing that he's a hero now, so she's not always hurt when he says he has to leave her for a "work emergency." And part of it is knowing that she's growing, she's not a baby, she can handle herself.

It's a hard transition, realizing this kid who used to depend on you to feed them, keep them clean, keep them safe, doesnt need that anymore. Suddenly they're doing things on their own, they dont need constant supervision, and you have to let go and realize that they can keep themself safe. But it's a weight off his shoulders, I think. That realization.

My daughter will be okay. I'm here for her now, if she needs me, but i cant protect her from every little thing, and maybe i dont need to.

its just. he's not perfect. i dont think he was a very good father at all, in the beginning. and Kaede is absolutely allowed to resent him for that. She needed him there, and he wasn't. She's allowed to feel abandoned and alone, even if she knows her father was off saving the world or whatever. it obviously still bugs her, and i'm so glad that was included. Instead of just keeping her as the two dimensional "yay my dad is so cool now that i know he's Wild Tiger! Everything is fine with me now :3"

But they'll both just have to live with it and grow with each other. Kotetsu is becoming a better parent, as best as he can, along with all the other worries he has. Kaede deserved a better father growing up, deserves it still, but is becoming a confident young woman, still navigating through it all.

i dont know how to end this. it just really hit me to see a family dynamic like this. i love it so much, would love to explore this more one day.

[chernabogs]

wait wait let me submit another one from that ask game again ames if u dont mind XD 🧪 (esp this one since ur fae info in ur stories are quite elaborate :0✨) 💕 💛💭and 🎁!!

OFC I DON'T MIND 💕

🧪 Do you research for your fics?

Chronically LMAO. I mentioned in other posts, but I'm a big stickler for factual information. If I'm drawing in anything from outside cultures or resources into my fics, I won't put it in unless I've absolutely covered my bases. I did this with the Sin Eater fic, and I'm currently doing it with Erlkönig, since both have things from cultures (in this case Celtic) I'm not personally involved in. Research is why I did that massive Styx and Fae write up too as a point of reference so I don't get it wrong when I write a fic.

Honestly, if I ended up writing plumbing into a fic somehow, I'd research that too LMAO

💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Ohhhh probably Elegy... or the Monody series as a whole. I thought those were good 😌 I still like Mead & Ignocolists tho LMAO my Lilia fics... come back from the war bbg

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

You need to love what you're writing. Don't ever do a prompt, or a request, that you don't have a love for bc it'll be a drag for you and no matter how good it may be, it will never seem right in your eyes. Also do NOT force yourself to write. The same lesson can be learned if you're trying to get through burnout by just forcing the words out—it will never seem right to you. Plus it just extends the burnout (this I know ☠️)

Let sleeping dogs (or dragons in some cases lmao) lie for a while until you feel inspired to poke them a bit. And don't feel guilty about it, either. No one is mad at you or upset with you if you don't write 500 words that day—your brain is just being a jerk. A break is sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself.

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

Me and my 20+ spotify playlists against the world LMAOO 😭 beyond that, a lot of real like things! The stuff I wrote for some fics (like Monody for example) come from friends and other lived experiences. My Maleficia fic drew from my great-grandmother and grandmother (had to get that g-ma mindset yk) and the rather complex stoicism they held (I get u, Malleus). Some of my Lilia fics drew from history I've read or stories of war-eras. Erlkönig is inspired by my own love of folklore and myth and my excitement to see it in a game like twst. Also the poem ofc.

So... a lot of things, really! Music, art, books, and history being the biggest ones!! (Music especially, though. A good song can generate a thousand ideas like trailers for a film in the brain)

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

Dcjejcjejf maybe... Levan WIP xoxo

His fingers dip into the black ichor that pools at the base of the mirror, his pale skin becoming stained as the scent of tar, and ozone, and everything man-made—foul!—drowns his senses.

"What is it that you seek?" The voice asks again, drawling out the words in a mixture of lethargy and resentment. Levan's golden gaze flickers back up to meet their void-like stare.

"... to try again," he exhales.

[obsoleteozymandias]

Meowdy could i request a stardew valley matchup?

Im around 5'3 (i will find a way to become taller) with short black hair (shoulder length??) that will not cooperate with me. I wear glasses that are pretty thick because my eyesight is deteriorating

I use she/they pronouns and am pansexual. My MBTI would be ISTP and my zodiac sign is scorpio. My enneagram was 9w1 if i remember correctly.

I have a healthy obsession with cheese.

I like to read! And write! And scrapbook! And play video games! And talk to my friends! And stay inside in general!

I dont have any siblings, but I grew up with enough cousins in my house for me to consider them (my cousins) as siblings. I don't have a dog, but I would like to have one.

Might also have undiagnosed anxiety and insomnia who knows

I cant fall asleep with nobody else in the same room as me. My first bedroom i shared with my mother, then i moved to my own mattress in my grandmothers room, now I'm sharing a room with my aunt. I have tried sleeping alone, but it's difficult to fall asleep.

I like to make handmade gifts for my friends on their birthdays. Little paper cranes to place around their house, a small paper box with a bracelet inside, a short note about how i enjoy spending time with them, a drawing of a character they like, the whole schtick.

I like reading those 'reincarnated into a fantasy world' webtoons. And candles.

Thank you for reading 🫡🫡

I'm very social once you get to know me. You will not be able to go two days without me seeking out your quality time.

Fun fact about me: i am writing this at 5:04 AM because for some reason I woke up at 4 this morning

This is a very eclectic list of information 🤔

== Stardew Valley ==>

I match you up with…

Penny

I think this would be a very unique relationship, kind of an opposites attract situation. 

At first, she’s a bit taken aback by your socialness and hobbies. She’s a person who values traditional normalcy, and so you two don’t share too many hobbies. 

But it’s your passion and love for the people that surround you that win her over. You make her a homemade gift on her birthday and she starts to think…well, maybe you’re not so bad. 

After that it’s just a spiral into love. 

You see her often and every time she blushes a little and laughs a lot more. 

She sees how good you are with kids, and it warms her heart infinitely. 

Not Penny isn’t perfect - she can be immature or a bit overbearing when she doesn’t feel understood or when she’s hurt, so I think you help her come out of her shell and grow a bit. 

I imagine at some point she’d wake in the middle of the night to find you asking to sleep in her room. She doesn’t have a lot of space, and so it turns into you two sharing a bed, and in the morning, when she wakes up to you curled around her, she falls in love a little bit more. 

At the end of the day, it’s Penny and her strange but loving significant other.

[wolfblood-of-anubis]

somethings to say about the Nina tribute video:

i originally planned on her video maybe being 5 minutes long

def was not my plan to have a 15 minute video. (14:50 if you wanna get technical)

wowza.

and im STILL missing the uncut version (yep there's more!)

but im honestly okay with it bc well the thing about nina is that she had SO much going on:

navigating a new school and residence, dodging false accusations from an angry girl, meeting this mysterious woman that sends her on a quest, becoming the de-facto leader of a new group and people looking to her for what to do next, sarah dying, hearing voices around the house, thinking she may be going insane, rufus zeno threatening not just her life but her friends’ lives as well, learning she’s the chosen one and assembling a magical cup all in less than five minutes, an evil spirit threatening her life and now her bf’s life and now her friends’ and grandmother’s life unless she finds some mystical mask in a set of tunnels under the house, accidentally hexing her friends leading to alfie regressing to a child and baby; and amber aging to a very scary point, choosing to put on the mask of anubis in order to save her friends and gran’s lives which meant her going into the field of rushes and just flat out die basically. all the while deal with romance drama and joy’s villain era.

so to put all of that in a five minute video would not suffice it nor do her justice

i did try and do parts for each song

power of the mind is and always will be a nina song, it was the first song i picked out for her and i just think it really fits her

like the first song is mainly her introduction, the most important bits like meeting sarah, getting the locket, her parallels to sarah and her ingenuity as well as smarts and recklessness too, just her character overall and then we slowly moved to chosen one stuff in the next song and then senkhara's hold over her as well as why she wants the mask after that

i didnt show a lot of rufus going down bc it's nina's story to tell, rufus is a whole other thing and at the end, i really tried to focus on nina specifically

that being said, it does end with fabian (and amber) missing her, the last bit of her being the hand written letter (not the locket, that's another thing entirely) i wanted to focus on something nina did rather than what she was given

i used imovie for the software, dont really have anything to say about it bc its free for me so i dont really know other video editing software *shrug*

the penultimate song (the way by zack hemsey) was almost this song called dwell on dreams and i changed it bc it was just too uplifting, like nope, we gotta go down darkness right now

i listened to like eight different songs trying to decide what fit fabina in the end, and i think last kiss by taylor swift really does summarize them in majority, if anyone else has another song please let me know

there’s seriously enough recorded content to make a senkhara video im ngl

also a victor video would be fun too but i’d have to go back and record his scenes again bc i was mainly focused on sibuna stuff

at one point nina’s video has over 54 minutes of content. yep. (thats not including the fabina scenes. in total it should come around to an hour and thirteen minutes. yep.)

15 doesnt sound like a lot now, does it?

i just realized while i didnt end up publishing it on July 7th, i managed to get it out there on July 17 which i think is a fun win!

my favorite part of the video is prob when vera asks victor “what is it about that girl? she makes you nervous, decidedly nervous.” i love it, i wished more characters talked about nina and what she can do, like idk rufus or some of the teachers smth like “dont underestimate them. especially nina martin.” and shit.

like for example in the s1 ending for HHA victor’s on the phone w the real bad guy or whatever, and he’s asking who’s responsible for all this shit and victor answers, “Her name… is Nienke. Nienke Martens.” or smth like that i cant remember

the next video is Alfie’s and i hope his does remain with five minutes bc the song i have for him is perfect and unlike Nina he does have one direct line of evolution from class clown to traumatized to untrustworthy sibuna to brave sibuna, proving to us and to his friends but most importantly to himself that he’s the bravest sibuna no matter what.

[lifeinthegladhouse]

the unfortunate news was given that my dad's chemo probably isn't working so he "might" have to do 30 day "isolation chemo" (?) which sounds horrible and scary. I want to visit him then if so... I don't want him to be alone for 30 days. I'm terrified he will be abusive to me.

when my mother died, she couldn't hurt me, even though I was terrified to see her. seeing her helpless body waste away from cancer was traumatizing but also released any fear I ever had of her, even though the memory of her abuse will always live in me.

my dad was not abusive like she was but sometimes i think he is worse for ever enabling her to be around me, ever choosing to "raise" a kid with her, comparatively, she had much less choice in her actions than he did.

i dont know what it means or if it will help. i didnt think these chemo rounds would help... i never thought my dad would get better... but hearing the advancing news doesn't help.

especially after watching someone's long term dying lead to hospice and then death and how irreverently it was handled, in this household (my partner's grandmother).

my dad will lose whatever hair he has left and im sure will look unrecognizable in a way.

whatever anger or apathy i have to combat my sense of obligation that shouldnt even really exist... i feel for him. im scared for him. i dont want him to suffer, and i dont know if it's worth going through.

i dont want to sway his decision, im positive he will die from this either way. i dont want to lose time with him, but ive already lost time. he's had 30 years to fix this and he hasnt...

i dont know if i can physically handle the grief of seeing him this way.

he always sounds livelier over the phone than he is, but... he didn't watch his parents die this way.

i will lose both of my parents to horrible forms of cancer (i mean, they're all horrible). at least Gene froze to death and it shocked everyone and he didn't suffer.

we've been iced in for a week here in p0rtland, and i got money back that i "owed" to unemployment when gene died. it felt like, after 3 years, he was helping me,... of all times to get the money back now... itll help me move out of my in laws... but a horrible thought happened... what if it's because my dad is going to go sooner than we thought?

i cant decide, anyways, and ocd is a bitch.

my back is killing me from days of making music and trying to learn mixing and mastering and animation and editing just for the fuck of it to stay sane, entirely diy.

today i cant focus, anymore... im listening to david bowie and crying alone and listening to my stupid in laws talking in the kitchen. i cant mourn here because this is a house of narcissism and enabling. hell, someone DIED in THEIR family and THEY wont/cant even mourn.

if my dad doesnt take the chemo, he will continue to failingly rely on his weekly (or more) blood transfusions. and eventually, he will die. maybe he will choose that to spare himself, and in a way, i almost wish he would, but i cant say i really wish that, ... i wish he was a better father, i wish he didnt have cancer even if he is 73, i dont wish him a sudden death bc itd be jarring but a long way is almost worse. i dont know what i want. i wish he couldve ever cared for me so that i could care for him. but what happened is he didnt care for me, and i care, but i cant care FOR him. i cant fix this. i cant love or unlove or hurt or unhurt it away.

when he dies i will not have any family left.

and then some part of me will be released from this burden of grieving a family that was always "dead" to me, but now, permanently, which will just feel fucked up.

ive spent 3 years grieving mom and gene. then i will grieve him too. when will it fucking end

in spite of this i have to work hard to perservere bc its what gene would want. its what my dad would want even tho fuck what he wants. its what *i* would want if i was diagnosed with cancer tomorrow myself or in 40 years. im terrified.

im tired.

im so goddamn tired

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ari.. ur entire wip list has me loosing my mind i dont even know what to think rn or where to start. i am so deeply intrigued it hurts LIKE AGH but i ofc have to ask about ur little red riding hood!reader x wolf/hunter!suguru it sounds so wonderful!

MOSSSS hi hello tysm for asking!!! U PICKED A SUPER FUN ONE perfect timing bc im planning on writing it out today!!! or . Trying to…. anyway mickey also asked abt it here (hivemind moment) but i can give u some extra details + tiny snippets ive written out !! >:33

IM SO GLAD U ASKED ABT THIS ONE bc it makes me think of u sm !! there’s def going to be a lot of teeth imagery….. and it’s also my attempt at writing smth more Twisted and gritty w sugu which i dont do suuuper often? so im excited!!

so far my idea of the story is just…. little red riding hood but w a twist? or more like . little red riding hood meets the hunter before they meet the wolf, and is kinda . coaxed into staying at his cabin … for an indefinite period of time…. and he’s charming and doting and secure but something is just Off abt him. classic sugu <33

im gonna read through the brothers grimm version of the story a bunch and take some inspiration there, also so i can reference some events and lines and stuff!! im thinking of mayybe making it a bit meta in the sense that reader knows what fairy tale they’re in, knows how the story goes… maybe suguru too? it’s just a thought but im sooo excited to finish this one hhhh....

im still super unsure abt how im going to … like …. format the whole thing 😭😭 bUT i have these lil snippets written out !! might end up changing them as i write but im pretty happy w them hehe

“i have to go see grandma,” you try, gazing up at him with a pleading smile. hoping he’ll cave. but he curls an arm around your waist. steady, steady, steady. so much stronger than you. “it’s dangerous,” is all he says, a gentle warning. “you’ll be safer here. your grandmother can wait.” he gives you a sweet smile, to ease your nerves, but something rotten settles in your gut; bile at the base of your throat. sour. you try not to eye his axe, still hanging by the fireplace.

his voice is deep, smooth, with just the slightest hint of a rasp. in the morning, or at night, it’s gravelly; like an axe dragged through rugged grounds, or the bark of a tree yet to be cut. enough to make goosebumps spread along your neck, a pleasant tremble of your spine. it happens, sometimes, when you’re lying in bed together. he flips through the pages of a dusty fable, caresses your hair with a steady hand, and out it comes — a noise that curls around the base of his throat, rumbles through his chest. deep, raspy, gravelly. almost a growl. he clears his throat, and you pretend not to have noticed it. he rewards you with another page or two.

and ah, there it is. that quiver of his jaw. like he’s trying not to snap it, trying not to bare his teeth. they’re sharp. when he kissed you this morning, you felt them nip at your skin. you think he was trying to control himself.

[marymary-diva17]

Heartbreak (3)

The son who once looked up and idolize his father and who had been proud, to carry his father name and hopes to make his family proud. That all had changed he now longer worked to impress his dad and didn't see him as an idol anymore, after the events of heartbreak from the one he had fallen in love with and family. He was now carrying the name of the only person who stood by his side the whole time and showed him love since the day he was born. Now he knows the true meaning of family and true relationships, those who stand by your stand and right for you will always be true of heart.

mo'at " all my life I have never ever have heard about a boy taking on his mother name" lo'ak had went to go helped out his grandmother today, as she need to have some words with her grandmother about a very important matter. He had already discuss this with you and now had to speak with his grandmother, another import person in his life like his mama.

lo'ak " I know grandmother but after recent events I think it will be best if I go by lo'ak son of y/n l/n .... as it seems like I'm not fit to carr the sulky name"

mo'at " my boy your father had seem to forget he was not all that good, when he was young and will not acknowledge that"

lo'ak " I barely even speak with him and neytiri since that day, as he and everyone thought it will be good to teach me lesson"

mo'at " I have seen lessons like that"

lo'ak " how did that end up like"

mo'at " a child no longer speaking with the ones who hurt them, and there were times where a kid will never speak to them again maybe only when they are leaving this world"

lo'ak " I just wish to make a name for myself and Jake had always said I brought shame, if I no longer have his name I will not bring him shame"

mo'at " my grandson you bring now shame and if you grandfather was here he will be proud of you, as I and your mama are proud of you so are the humans as well"

lo'ak " thank you grandmother"

mo'at " I approve of your chose carry your mother name and make our family even more prouder as well"

lo'ak " yes ma'am what about Jake and neytiri even the elders"

mo'at " I will speak with them they can never go against me"

lo'ak " thank you grandma" lo'ak had stand a bit more to help out his grandmother with anything else, that she need help on at the moment. He soon had parted ways with his grandmother when she was called away at the moment.

???? " hey lo'ak"

lo'ak " ......." lo'ak had taken a deep breath in and out before she turned around and saw it was neteyam, well it was not like he could avoid his family for the rest of the day.

neteyam " hey baby bro I came looking for you but when I went by mama house, no was on there and then I saw you"

lo'ak " well you found me"

neteyam " good now come along dad is going out hunting and he wants his both sully boys there"

lo'ak " oh that sound like fun"

neteyam " don't worry spider will be there with Tsu'tey and we have aonung and rotxo coming as well with tonowari, it going to be father and son thing"

lo'ak " okay I will come"

neteyam " good now let go get your stuff and we can meet them, this is going to be fun it will be like the old time at home with dad" lo'ak wanted to say something to rebuttal his brother words but decide, to let it go for now.

lo'ak " okat first of all if we are going to go away let go of my arm, I'm not someone who need guiding anywhere I will follow you and second I will come with you but anything said against me or mama then I'm gone"

neteyam " okay sure" neteyam soon let go of lo'ak as the two brothers soon started walking again, lo'ak was doing his best to deal with all the looks he was getting. Along with seeing people whisper after looking at him and neteyam.

navi women " are we all sure that boy is toruk makto son he nothing like him or neteyam"

navi man " I dont know those demons lie about anything" lo'ak and neteyam stopped dead in their tracks, looking at the pair but when lo'ak looked ar them he gave them a cold glare making them backup a bit.

lo'ak " it not good to talk about others and mostly near you kids, maybe you should set a better example I know my mama raised me right" the pair look shock at lo'ak words even neteyam as well lo'ak soon scoffed and walked away.

neteyam " that was a bit harsh dad said we should not be causing trouble"

lo'ak " I was not I had been exchanging some words and standing up for our mama that all"

neteyam " what if they go tell dad what happened you can be in trouble with him and tonowari"

lo'ak " they already don't like me there nothing new there now come on we shouldn't keep everyone waiting"

lo'ak " if everyone going to give mama parenting advice on raising me maybe they can take some as well" lo'ak had given his brother a cold glare making neteyam become silent.

lo'ak " now come on we don't want to keep everyone waiting" the brothers had went back to the home you share with lo'ak. lo'ak had grabbed the stuff he will need.

neteyam " wow mama really changed the house hasn't she"

lo'ak " yeah she said it was time for some change around here to switch stuff up"

neteyam " I like it"

lo'ak " cool" the brothers soon left the home and head towards where the rest of the group was waiting for them.

spider " hey bro you came"

lo'ak " yeah it sound like it will be fun"

Jake " hey son welcome it good you are here"

lo'ak " well I'm happy I had been invited on this hunt"

aonung " now this is going to be fun now that lo'ak is here"

rotxo " yes it good to have you here as we were not able, to spend at much time with your yesterday"

tonowari " come on boys you all can talk as we are hunting we have to leave now, if we plan to caught something good" the group had soon had taken off together, leaving the safety of the village and heading deeper into the water and unknown as well.

Jake " it good to have you on these hunts again lo'ak just like old times"

lo'ak " yes dad just like old times" lo'ak didn't know what his father and brother were thinking, as when it came to hunts it will always be them most of the time it was rare he could come. He was deciding on keeping his mount shut as he didn't wish to cause a headache of trouble right now.

Jake " how has y/n been doing lately"

lo'ak " she been doing good helping grandmother and the humans, when she not busy with helping the village"

Jake " that good she has always been like that since we were young and even humans"

lo'ak " oh yes uncle norm and max had said that as well"

Jake " well it good that her personality has rubbed off on you"

tonowari " yes y/n is a good role model and mother"

lo'ak " so what are we hunting for anyways if you don't mind me asking"

tonowari " some fish that can feed the clan for months on end they are further away from the clan, as they live in open waters away from out settlements"

tsu'tey " well we have all the supplies we will need for hunting them"

rotxo " this is going to be good and we get to working on hunting skills as well"

spider " hey I'm just happy to be out on open water and explore a bit more as well"

neteyam " sometime to good to get out and about" soon the conversation had come to an end when some calls had been heard, the group had looked up to see they were being joined by some guest.

tonowari " well it seems like we are not the only ones out hunting today"

olo'eytahn" yes it seems like that Tonowari we have brought our sons as well along with some others, we came here to collect some fish"

aonung " wow this hunting trip has gotten more interesting"

neteyam " these bigger numbers will now be more beneficial, as now we have the chances of collecting more fish"

olo'eythan " Jake sully it seems like your son is smart like his father thinking straight to the solution"

Jake " yes but my son is right it will be good if we hunt in groups as there could be danger anywhere"

tsu'tey " well then it agree on we should hunt as a group and later on divided up the hunt" well it had been official the group had becoming bigger, everyone was now in the area trying to see what they can caught. Lo'ak was on his own as all the fathers were together and the other boys as well.

lo'ak " this is not from that far where I was left by aonung and his old friends"

neteyam " hey lo'ak what the matter"

lo'ak " I don't think this is good area to hunt the alkua could be anywhere"

aonung " oh come on we will be okay and they are far away from here"

tonowari " boys come over here we are ready for the hunt" the other boys had soon went towards the father as everyone grabbed, some nets ready to start hunting the fish.

Jake " lo'ak are you coming"

lo'ak " father I don't think we should be hunting here we should try elsewhere"

olo'eythan 2 " we know more then you boy we have master years of hunting and the ocean, then you child"

lo'ak " I mean no disrespect but I don't think this a smart and safe idea, since the return of the tulkuns that have been more aklua as well"

tonowari " Jake sully"

Jake " listen lo'ak they more then you and you need to respect their decision you are just a young boy, please just behave for me and your mama"

lo'ak " but sir ...."

Jake " no buts young man now you can either join us on this hunt or head back home stay there" lo'ak didn't say anything else the the group soon got ready to hunt, he had been given a look by neteyam as he older brother felt bad for him. He was once again being ignored for his warning before anything could happen massive waves had come with dangers following them. the hole group had soon been taken out by pack of akulas. Everyone had been taken under water losing their their IIus or strimwings, as they had been chases off by another akul. The only one who had his weapon was lo'ak as the pack of creatures were coming.

tonowari " swim away now" soon the group had started swimming away avowing the jaws of the creatures coming towards them, there was someone who stepped up to fight. That was lo'ak he was able to swim fast swigging his spear at the creature's making some of them back off or swim away in fear. This had been seen by everyone else as the akulas were now gone.

neteyam " this It over are they gone"

tonowari " stay on guard there could be one more coming" that was not a lie was one big one had come swimming towards them, lo'ak had gave one big swig hiting the creatures hard, but it get scare it off.

lo'ak " ........" The creatures was coming towards lo'ak seeing the boy was the biggest threat, and seem very mad as well but before the creates could strike something or someone strikes it. Ramming the creatures into some rocks and not stopping, until the fight was over. The creatures soon swam towards the group and took them to the surface.

everyone " ......." once everyone reach the surface they all soon started coughing and breathing heavily after being water for so long.

lo'ak " get onto payakan now all of you"

Jake " lo'ak"

lo'ak " I said now move it" lo'ak sound mad and serious as everyone soon got onto payakan lo'ak was the last one.

neteyam " lo'ak are you okay"

lo'ak " I'm fine hurt a bit like the rest of you but I'm good" lo'ak had moved away from the group.

lo'ak " hey payakan can you take us home we are going to need, some medical help" payakan had understood lo'ak words and soon started heading towards the village, it didn't take them that long to reach the village. Their arrival had gain the attention of of everyone who came racing to see what happened.

neytiri " ma Jake what happened"

Jake " a hunting trip had gone wrong"

kiri " brother you are both hurt spider as well"

y/n " boys"

neteyam " hey mama"

lo'ak " hi mama"

spider " hey aunt y/n"

y/n " thank you that you are all well now come on lets get these inquires treated" there was not fight there was the group had been attend.

ronal " what have you done boy I know you are behind this like always"

y/n " leave my son alone he hurt as well"

ronal " because he cause this pain now look what he has done"

tonowari " ronal stop it the boy fraught and save our lives"

ronal " what"

mo'at " ronal leave the boy alone my grandson has done well he has brought honor to the family name"

navi man 2 " he has made toruk makto proud"

navi women 2 " this is something new maybe the boy will be honorable warrior like his father and brother"

mo'at " lo'ak the son of y/n will be bring to his mother name and her family line as well" the crowd had been shocked to her lo'ak taking on your name verse Jake.

y/n " my son you have made me proud"

lo'ak " thank you mama"

y/n " now once done attending to you and the other youth we can go home" lo'ak had nodded his head as you had attend to his injuries and soon did the rest to the other kids, once everyone was okay they started heading towards their homes or where they will be spending for the night.

Jake " lo'ak may we have some words"

y/n " Jake this talk can be saved for tomorrow the kids need time to rest and heal, you can have a conversation with him later on once everyone better off"

Jake " y/n"

y/n " goodnight Jake and all of you ... neteyam and spider I will check up on your tomorrow morning"

neteyam " yes mama"

spider " yes auntie" you and lo'ak soon left and headed home together you had brought lo'ak closer to you and kissed his forehead, giving him a warm look of happiness.

y/n " you done well my boy very well"

lo'ak " thank you mama and look what I got as well" lo'ak soon showed you some sharp teeth of the creatures he fought today, making you at him and smile. As the two of you kept on walking home you had stayed up that night, to make sure lo'ak was okay as you are worried after the events that had happened today. There was more coming for lo'ak that will help him forge his own path in life.