#maybe i *should* have a dinosaur themed birthday party

[onboardsorasora]

+

[em1e]

birthday parties | planning mikey's bday is a pain

⿻ mini series ft. you dating shinichiro and whatever chaos that comes from that !! ✕ fluff !! ♡ series m.list

a ten year old's birthday party should be easy to organize, right? 

wrong. 

you’re almost sure, no, positive, if the party you were planning was for emma, it’d be a thousand times simpler. she’s somehow so much easier to attend to than mikey. so much more understanding of when things can’t go her way. 

“we can’t rent the bounce house he wanted.” shinichiro groans as he plops himself down beside you on his bed, head falling into your lap while his phone sits loosely gripped in his hand. 

“can we just rent a different one?” your fingers find purchase in his hair, helping to ease any tensions that remain in his shoulders with your touch alone. 

“the only other one available for the day is a pink princess one. mikey would throw a fit if they pulled up with that.” 

“is there another company we can order from?” your fingers pause when his eyes flutter closed, not wanting him to just fall asleep there. 

“maybe one other one, but i don’t know if they have a dinosaur themed one like he wanted.” he nuzzles into your palm like a cat, wanting more than just the feel of your fingertips against his scalp. 

“he’ll be lucky to even have a bounce house at this rate.” you hum out, “are you sure we can’t just take him and his friends bowling or to that new movie theater and to the park after or something?” 

he opens one eye and gives you a look that tells you all you need - a simple have you met mikey said with his glance alone. 

“i can try asking again.” he says with a sigh, closing the eye when you return to brushing your fingers through his hair, “but i make no promises.” 

and to both of your amazements, he relents. 

shinichiro is excited as he relays the conversation back to you, “he said he was fine with whatever. manjiro sano, fine with us picking something to do with his friends for his birthday!” 

“so what’re we gonna do with them?” you ask with a small laugh, patting his thigh as he sort of . . . deflates at the question. 

“y’know . . . i haven’t really thought about that.” 

you only offer a giggle, head hitting his shoulder gently, “i might have an idea or two.” 

the weekend of mikey’s party rolled around, and the boy was practically buzzing with excitement. draken and baji were already at the house helping set up, having stayed the night before, and shinichiro gave them firm instructions on what to do with what - balloons, streamers, and other miscellaneous party supplies was set out in the backyard while you and emma helped prepare the snacks you’d gotten. 

one by one, other members of mikey’s group arrived - first mitsuya, who had to pry himself out of one of his little sisters arms because she wanted him to stay home and play with her so bad, then pah-chin, who holds a very big gift bag in his hands the second he’s walking past the foyer. following close behind him is kazutora, sliding out the backdoor with a laugh when baji jumps on his back and points in shinichiro’s direction to help set up tables. 

wakasa walks in with benkei, bags of chips and bottles of beer in their hands that have you raising an eyebrow and reminding them that this is a party for ten year-olds, to which  wakasa replies ‘you’re never too young to start drinking’. this earns him a smack from shinichiro, who’s come inside for a split second to have a break from the boys. the last to show is takeomi, a plastic bag in hand as his two siblings run past his legs to greet their friends. 

takeomi looks at everyone outside, raising an eyebrow when he realizes he’s the only one in a swimsuit. 

“did everyone else change already?” 

“hm?” you’re wiping your hands on a dishtowel when he sets the bag on the counter, “oh, no one else needs a swimsuit.” 

he tilts his head at the confession, and you gesture towards the dunking booth sitting pretty in the corner of the yard, filling with water. 

his brows raise as he processes the implication, “no . . .” 

you scrunch your nose, “yes . . . “ 

“you don’t want me to . . .”

“i actually need you to . . .”

“please.” he’s almost begging, pleading with you to have some amount of mercy on his soul. 

but you can only shake your head, click your tongue, and push a towel towards him, “sorry . . .” 

you’re not sorry. not in the least bit, actually, when takeomi climbs into the dunk tank with shinichiro’s help, only to be locked in soon after when your beloved boyfriend places the stepladder he used to boost takeomi into the tub in front of the door. if takeomi realizes he’s trapped, he voices no complaints, only pouting while he clambers to the seat, folding his arms over his chest while mikey makes a line with stray streamers to indicate how far back everyone needs to stand. 

amazingly, none of the kids can hit the small target to the left of takeomi. being athletically inclined seemed to stop at mikey’s feet, since the baseball he was throwing would only go a meter before dropping onto the grass. 

his friends follow in suit after him, taking turns, and the only one who comes close is draken, who is just excited to have thrown the ball the farthest out of the group, while emma gives him heart eyes from the sidelines. 

takeomi’s taunts are light-hearted, sticking his tongue out at each child as they try and fail to knock him off his pedestal, and it’s only when shinichiro grabs the ball that his teasing falters. 

“this is a kids party, no?” he gestures to mikey, who’s egging his brother on to throw the ball, “let the kids throw, this doesn’t seem very fair-” 

in one fell swoop, takeomi’s dunked into the water. he comes up sputtering, wiping water from his face and tossing a glare at your boyfriend, who only laughs at his friend. he looks like an angry cat, hissing at the prospect of being drenched to the bone. 

and instead of stopping there, instead of letting the kids go back to having their fun with their tosses, the other men seem to have found joy in seeing takeomi soaked and shivering despite the sun shining bright in the sky. 

you go inside to prepare the cake while wakasa and benkei take their own turns tossing, each man hitting the target spot, each time dropping takeomi from his seat, leaving him to come up heaving and glaring. this goes on only for a few minutes until the kids grow bored of just watching - they want to be the ones dunking him! they want to be directly part of the chaos. 

watching the three adults seemed to fill them with confidence, but . . . their tosses still fell just short of the target - even with the new amount of vigor coursing through their veins from seeing takeomi previously submerged. 

takeomi relaxes at this fact, easily going back to simple teases, blowing raspberries at the kids, until baji leans into mikey’s side and whispers something into his ear. the blond’s eyes light up at the idea, and he ushers everyone else into a small huddle to relay whatever plan baji’s put in his head. 

takeomi doesn’t even have time to question it before the group of ten year olds are rushing forward and slamming each of their hands on the target, effectively dropping takeomi, and retreating just before he comes out of the water with giggles leaving each of their lips. 

you peek your head out the door just in time to see takeomi trying to splash water over the top of the dunk booth while the kids almost tumble to the floor in fits of laughter. 

“time for cake!” you call out, before retreating back into the house to avoid being trampled by sugar-inclined kids. 

takeomi, you find out, did not realize he was locked in the booth, if the way he tries to push the door open is anything to go by. you watch from the window in the kitchen as he tries again. and again. and again, just for good measure, before he’s banging on the plastic surrounding him and shouting something at your boyfriend, wakasa, and benkei, who don’t bat an eye to him and come inside to sing to the birthday boy. 

bonus: 

takeomi is only let out of the tank when all the cake is gone and most of the other kids have left. 

he’s pruney and pouting, even though he was given one of the beers wakasa’s brought and promised leftover ice cream. 

the remaining kids, emma, mikey, draken, sanzu, and senju, all lay in the living room in a heaping pile. crashed from the busy day and the sugar slowly dissipating from their veins. you lean against shinichiro on the couch, feet in his lap while he nurses a beer in the hand not holding your thigh.

“we did good.” you hum out, almost as tired as the kids from all the running around and planning and watching. mikey’s come out of this with a good amount of stuff - legos and other miscellaneous toys you’re sure you or shinichiro will be cleaning up after. some cash, too, but he wouldn’t let you count how much. 

shinichiro squeezes your leg softly, giving you that dorky smile you adore with his eyes half-lidded. 

“we did.”

[greasygrimeygopher-whats]

Webkinz Recipes By The Cuddly and Snuggly Teddy Bears!

OOPS ALL CARBS (I swear this wasn't on purpose im sorry). Comfort Foods for the Teddy Bears. Man, I wish these had plushie versions. Also, I haven't made one of these in a while; they are so fun tho. Anyway. Here we go!

"Jest The Best Bagel" Funny Face Mini Veggie Pizza (THE REST OF THE OWL. [sorry] Replace the bread flat things with bagels for authenticity. Also, you can make whatever faces you want; animal ones are really cute)

"Peanut Butter & Honey Sandwich" Peanut Butter and Honey Sandwiches (This recipe has butter in it as well, which I assume you can choose not to use for dairy purposes. Or not needing a refrigerator purposes)

"Choco Chip Waffles" Double Chocolate Waffles (The sheer amount of chocolate may kill you. Chocolate batter, chips and sauce. Worth it)

"Lasagna" World's Best Lasagna (Bold claim, Website. I always forget how to spell lasagna. I guarantee I could not do it without spell check, but to be fair, I haven't eaten it much. There is about fifteen million lasagna recipes out there, so options abundant)

"Cinnamon Bun" Cinnamon Raisin Rolls (I almost forgot about the raisins! I was putting just a regular cinnamon roll recipe, until I looked at the in-game recipe again. Remembered now)

"Birthday Party Sandwich" Mac and Cheese Dogs (Um. This one has you make your own Mac and cheese, but feel free to take the boxed kind and put it with some boiled hot dogs between two white bread slices. Then turned into grilled cheese with chili. I don't know if this is making me hungry or sick. Maybe just do the recipe version...)

"Teddy Bear Porridge" Peanut Butter Kiwi Oatmeal (Peanut butter and oatmeal is pretty good tho. Also please shape the kiwi slices and maybe grab a few blueberries/banana slices if you got any. Also, I didn't know the difference between oatmeal and porridge; turns out oatmeal is a type of porridge. My ignorance, cured)

"Honey BBQ Chips" BBQ Sweetpotato Chips Recipe (HUNGRY. HUNGRY. I WANT THESE. I think I have a craving rn so I have zero other commentary. sweetpotato)

I recently got the Cuddly Teddy Bear for Black Friday to renew my account and I LOVE HIM. I'd get the Snuggly one next year if it wasn't a member only pet. RIP. (If you lose your membership, do these pets just get snapped how does this work)

Part 1: Dreamy Sheep

Part 2: Pink Poodle

Part 3: Cocoa Dinosaur and Marshmallow Bunny

Part 4: Midnight Monster

Part 5: Love Puppy

Does anyone actually read this far?

I kinda wish that we could still visit each others houses in Webkinz. I'm gonna make the Backrooms in my house. I'm really gonna. All those kinscash old furniture items fit. And the hotel theme. I'm ignoring the estore stuff because I'm cheap. I even named my Cuddly Teddy Lucky 'O Milk. His room is party themed. Thus, the inclusion of the Jester Bagel and Party Sandwich. Little secret there. Okay, now I should check to make sure all the above links go to the right places. Thanks.

Have a song.

[bangtanoneshotsx]

Seokjin

Thank you!💜 I’m hoping to get back to more writing but it won’t be as often as normal for me as my last year at university is starting

125 - “Nope. Puppy dog eyes aren’t going to work this time.”

Balloons were scattered across the living room floor. A ‘Happy Birthday’ banner hung taped squint on the larger wall of the living room. A stack of presents were already in the corner of the room, no doubt more to come. You could hear Seokjin in the other room fumble with the larger present. That wasn’t going to be wrapped, instead you had bought a large red bow for the small child’s convertible. 

You were taking a couple minutes to just set out the rest of the snacks, a long table sat pressed against a wall, an arrangement of sweet and savoury snacks covering the table. You could already tell a couple were missing thanks to your husband who simply suggested he needed to make sure the quality was perfect. 

“You know these are for the guests.” You spoke to your husband as he walked through to the living room.

“Quality control.” Is all he muttered, laughing before placing a soft kiss on the side of your head, his arm around your waist. “You’re worrying too much.” You sighed, nodding. It was your son’s first birthday party since the pandemic and the first one he’d remember. Missing out on his fifth birthday, you made sure his sixth was as good as you could make it. 

Before you could ask where your son was, the last time you saw him was when he was testing out the bouncy castle in the back yard, you heard a thud and something scrape the wooden floor in the kitchen. With one worrying look to Seokjin you raced to the kitchen. 

There, your son stood on the small step ladder, his index finger swiping a chunk of green vanilla frosting off of his dinosaur themed birthday cake. The green marks around his mouth showed that it wasn’t his first swipe. It was a miracle his outfit he picked out for the party wasn’t dirty. He was still oblivious to both of your presence as you placed your hands on your hips, an eyebrow raised. You could feel Jin shake with laughter behind you. 

Clearing your throat, you had to bite back your laughter as your son jumped, his finger frozen in mid air as he almost took another bite, frosting covering his finger.

“And what do you think your doing?”

“Quality control.” He repeated his father’s excuse though you doubt he knew what it meant. Seokjin gave a snort of laughter that he unsuccessfully tried to hide. 

“Y/S/N that cake’s not for now. We have to save that for when your friends come over.” 

Your son instantly looked deflated, his shoulders dropping as did his finger. His bottom lip stuck out in a small pout. Turning to you, your son widened his eyes, tilting his head.

“Nope. Puppy dog eyes aren’t going to work this time.” You shook your head, crossing your arms. Your son gave a huff, though the expression never left his face. 

“I’m really disappointed in you Y/S/N.” Jin spoke, his voice soft as he crouched down, though he didn’t have to go as lower as normal due to your son still on the step ladder. “I thought you wanted to share your cake with your friends. I hear that Yu-Jun was really looking forward to the cake.” Your son looked apologetic at the mention of his best friend’s disappointment. Yu-Jun was Yoongi’s son, and your son’s best friend. While he was close friends with the other members’ children, he was closest with Yoongi’s son, maybe it was the closeness in age, but you knew that in any social situation they’d be together.

“Sorry.” Your son mumbled.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” Jin gave a groan as he lifted his son from the stepladder, placing him down, and taking him to the bathroom. 

You could only give a sigh as you placed the cake in the fridge where it probably should have been. As you begun to wipe the countertops, you could hear Seokjin speaking softly to your son, though you could tell by the tone of his voice he was still talking about the cake.

~~~~~~~

You dodged Taehyung’s son as he ran past you, chasing after Jimin’s daughter, loud giggles following them both like a trail. Making your way to the kitchen, empty plate in hand, you stopped in your tracks. 

Once the party had started you brought out the cake once more, however, this time you kept an eye on your son. Though thankfully, he was distracted by the flow of guests, and the party activities you had arranged.

However, now, he stood with Yu-Jun, bot on their tiptoes, green frosting surrounding their mouths as they swiped at the frosting. 

[hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong]

FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!!!!

Rex and Quetzalcoatl had a pair of twins that they cared for very much. A girl named Maria, and a boy named Eduardo.

The twins were born on the 25th of September, and that date had arrived so it was time to celebrate their birthday!

In the morning, Mari was peacefully asleep.

Mari: *SNOOOOOOORE!*

Quetz, softly: mijaaaaaaa....

Mari: mmm....!

Quetz: mijaaaaaaa.....!

Mari, sleepily: mama..... I wanna..... sneeeeep......!

Quetz: but mija, it's your birthday today....!

Mari: hmmm.....

Quetz: did you hear me, mija?

Mari: *grumble* ok..... *sigh* I'm getting up already.

Mari got up, still very tired.

Mari: Da hell's my glasses?

Quetz handed her her glasses.

Mari: gracias....

Quetz: you should probably hurry, everyone else is already getting ready.

Mari: who the hell is everyone else?

Quetz: just the rest of the family.

Mari: hmmmm.... okay...... was worried I'd have to deal with a party.....

Quetz: don't worry, we know you don't enjoy those. It'll be just the family.

Mari: good....

After some time getting ready, Maria went out into the living room.

Mari, while yawning: ok.... how long will it take to get there again?

Rex: uh... not too long, maybe an hour or so on the serpent.

Ed: still crazy how fast he can be.

Quetz: well of course my familiar would be fast! It'd be a bit disappointing otherwise.

After a bit of time getting ready, the family went outside to see Quetz's pterosaur outside ready to go!

Quetz: ok everyone! Get on!

The family got onto the large flying reptile.

Rex: ok then. Now just a simple invisibility spell so we're not spotted on our way there.

Ed: radar won't work either right?

Rex: right, I've got everything covered, Mijo.

After that, the beast took off!

After some time in the air, their destination was in sight: Mexico City!

Ed: wow!

Mari: such a massive city.

Quetz: ah, it's been too long since we've been here.

Finally the pterosaur landed and they got off to go out into the city!

Rex: man, this place brings back memories!

Ed: so, where to first anyways?

Quetz: it's up to you guys

Mari: breakfast!

Rex: ok yeah, should probably eat first

*stomachs were growling*

The family went to a nice restaurant for their breakfast.

Quetz: mija, those are a lot of pancakes...

Mari: si, and?

Rex: your mother is just a bit concerned for you is all.

Mari: hmmm, sounds unnecessary.

Rex: also Ed, is that enough bacon?

Ed: hmmm.... maybe.

After breakfast, there were still many things that could be done.

First thing, was visiting the old site of Teotihuacan.

Quetz: *sigh* it's been a very long time.....

Mari: looks kinda.... decrepit.

Rex: kinda par for the course with old ruins and shit.

Ed: ....is there a ball court?

Quetz: si, but I doubt we're allowed to play these days.

Ed: awww....

Next stop, was the Aquarium.

Mari: Shork

Ed: Shork

Rex: ya real fascinated by those sharks huh?

Quetz: don't ya wanna see the penguins?

Ed: Penguins?!?!

Rex: also piranhas.

Mari: PIRANHAS?!?!?!

Next was the Zoo

Rex: mi corazon, it's just a random Jaguar. There's no need to cause a scene.

Quetz: I CAN SEE MY STUPID BROTHER TAUNTING ME THROUGH IT'S EYES!!!!

Mari: Mamá, not every Jaguar is Tio Tez.

Ed: we're gonna get kicked out if you don't stop.....

Rex: really hope there aren't any spiders too.

Another fun site, was the museum.

Ed: so..... this is Piedra del Sol?

Quetz: si

Mari: but... so is your noble phantasm?

Quetz: si

Ed: ....how does that work?

Rex: don't ask too many questions about this kinda stuff. You'll get it eventually.

Finally, it was getting a bit late. So it was time to return home.

Mari: we getting the presents now?!?!?

Rex: si, si. You relax will ya?

Ed: you already know she can be a bit greedy.

Quetz: it's better that you try to relax that, Mija.

When they finally got home, a Large assortment of presents were waiting for them.

Mari: Hell yeah!

Ed: hmmmmmm......

Mari: let's see.... which one first....

Mari first grabbed one with.... very unique wrapping, eyes and other odd things decorated the paper.

When she unwrapped it, what was inside was a plush wolf

Mari: AAAWWW!!!

Ed, opening a similar box, got a plush Narwhal.

Ed: oooooh!

And the horn started to glow

Ed: huh

Rex: ....that's a sword

Quetz: it's definitely a sword

Mari: also, my plush smells poisonous.

Rex: well.... that's par for the course for your Tia Quinny.

Next were.... slot machines?

Ed: so we just... pull them?

Quetz: I guess so?

The twins pull the levers of the slot machines.

The machines spun their slots for a time, until finally stopping on 3 symbols that looked like present boxes. Then out of the machines, popped out tickets for both kids.

Mari: oh

Ed: huh

From Mari's popped out VIP tickets to a Music Festival.

Mari: POG

And from Ed's popped out, a soccer season pass.

Ed: oh word?!

And finally, matching tickets for the two, for "5 hours of use of the Mooncell" from BB

Mari: ......

Ed: .......

Quetz: well that sure is.... interesting.

After that, was another box. Wrapped in blue wrapping paper. The two unwrapped it, and inside were two gecko eggs. Along with incubators and everything necessary to raise lizards. With a lil tag saying "from Calamity" (Chalchiuhtlicue)

Mari: LIZARD

Ed: they're cute!

Next were two VERY big gifts wrapped in bone patterned wrapping.

Mari: gimme!

After Mari unwrapped the gift, what she found was a VERY large obsidian Hammer.

Mari: ah hell yeah!

SLAM

Ed: damn.... ok.

For Ed, was a large Obsidian Club.

Ed: oh fuck, ok.

Rex: there a reason Xolotl decided to give such gifts?

Quetz: good question.....

Then a very deep and loud *CROAK* was heard

Ed: FROGE

Then hopping out, was a very VERY large bullfrog. About a foot and a half in length!

Ed: OH HE'S A LARGE LAD!

Mari: damn.

Rex: mija, look behind that tree.

Mari: hmm?

When Mari looked, she saw a Huge car! Modeled after the Batmobile!

(Tho, with bat theming replaced with skulls)

Mari: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

After latching onto the car, Mari was very happy.

Mari: finally.......! I can drive!

Quetz: can we trust her with that?

Rex: we'll play it by ear.

And in a small package near the center of the pile. Was a first aid kit, with a note.

"Happy birthday you two, hope you enjoy the car and frog. And don't forget to stay safe with the first aid kit love, Florence, Julius and Eva."

Mari: awwww.....

Ed: so sweeet....

There were many other presents from friends and family alike, more toys, clothes, even laptops too.

Then it was finally time for Rex and Quetz's presents for the kids.

Boom

Mari: the hell?

Then, out of the trees of the nearby jungle, came a large animal. A dinosaur known as Giganotosaurus.

Mari: oh...!

The creature stomped up to the family, until it stopped in front of Mari.

Mari: holy crap.....

Rex: now you have your own divine familiar too, Mija!

Mari: oh shit!

Quetz: si, wasn't sure why you didn't get one the same time as Ed's Pliosaur, but now we got you one!

Mari: finally!

Quetz: and for Mijo, it may not be as big. But since you already got your Pliosaur. We got you this instead.

In Quetz's hands, was what looked to be an electric eel. Tho it glittered with green sparkles, not unlike that of jade.

Ed: whoa, he's an odd lil guy.

Rex: he's very special too. He's not just any electric eel. But a divine construct at that!

Quetz: si, his name is Onotlachin. The storm fish.

Ed: hot damn!

Ed held the lil guy in his hands, and felt the energy within the fish. It also seemed perfectly fine without water.

Ed: he's amazing, gracias!

Mari: si! Gracias for this!

Rex: no problem you two!

Quetz: si, anything for mis hijos!

A/N: and there's the birthday story. Sorry it came out a bit late. Things happened irl. Hopefully everyone likes it! And the festivities can still continue on throughout the weekend and even longer if anyone wants to celebrate with us.

Tags

@hasbbdoneanythingwrong @havetheavengersdoneanythingwrong @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @exmeowstic @grievouslyxorvia @panyum @witch-of-chaldea @chaldeamage-neo @hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @renmeo @writer-and-artist27

[overclocksaa]

@avengerled​ / steve / "Okay, do you think Halley wants a Paw Patrol or dinosaur themed birthday party? And should her cake have blue flowers or red flowers or orange flowers? What if we got her a bouncy house, what kind of upkeep is necessary for those?" 

��Paw Patrol’s out, Go Go Dino Explorers and Dino the Dinosaur are in.  Keep up, old man.”  It’s not like she’s managed to acquire an almost three foot stuffed dinosaur that has a permanent place (this month) in prime real estate in her room or anything.  Honestly can’t have come at a better time, Tony’s still catching himself singing Paw Patrol’s theme song under his breath at the worst possible times; a month ago it had been over comms during a dust up with AIM, and he still hasn’t lived it down.

He has a two year old, what do they want from him.  He never said anything about the constant Smashmouth earworm he’d gotten in his brain when Luna had been that small and had latched onto Shrek, had he?  He had not.

He drops the laundry basket Jarvis had handed him with a significant look not two minutes previously as he’d passed through the kitchen with a face, taking a moment to consider the idea that if he “forgets” it there someone else will maybe take pity on him and fold the contents and put them away but...He sneaks a glance at Steve.  Yeah, he has as much of a chance of that happening as he does getting their oh-so-wonderful teammates to give him a little slack about knowing all the names of all the pups on Paw Patrol.  Which is to say...None.

“Orange flowers, it’s less likely to stain and that way no one can claim either of us are co-opting a two year old’s birthday.”  And if they go with the dino theme, it’s easy to pick up some toy dinosaurs to go on the cake that Tony is surely destined to step on in the middle of the night.  A precursor to the lego days that are absolutely coming down the pipe.  She’s old enough for Duplo, anyway.  “No bouncy house, she’s still too small.  I vote we cover the table with butcher paper and let them go wild with the crayons.  She’s two, she’s not interested in anything yet but the cake and toys.  At this point the party is to keep the adults entertained.“

It helps that literally everyone’s kids are all in the same age bracket.  Makes things easier.

He picks up a sock from the top of the basket, and gives it a face and a sad little wiggle, too.  God, he hates doing laundry.  A person would assume a multibillionaire wouldn’t have to take the time to match up his husband’s socks out of the dryer, and they’d be wrong.  “Next year we can worry about organized games and whatever.  Enjoy the lack of societal pressure and stress while it lasts.”

[mrsdobrik]

I love your work and dad!David so this is perfect lol I was thinking a story about how it’s your guys sons 1st birthday and he’s a total mamas boy and after discussing plans about the birthday with Dave she goes outside with the baby and starts to cry a little because her little baby is growing up 🥺 and David finds her and comforts her 😩 and maybe talk about another baby 👀 as you can see I’ve thought a lot about this lol lmk if you need more dad prompts lol

Thank you for the compliment!! I love this! Let me know what you think! 💖💖💖

The morning sun streamed into the kitchen through the giant glass panes. The room reeked of coffee and waffles as David walked into the room, baby Liam attached to his hip. 

“Morning sunshine!” David said with the husky tone his voice always had in the mornings. He kissed his wife before taking a seat by the kitchen island, his child on his lap. 

“How did my two favorite boys wake up today?” Y/n asked cheerfully. 

“We woke up to a call from Auntie Natalie, didn’t we Liam?” David replied “She wanted to know what time she should come over to start party planning.” He rolled his eyes at how extra his friend was being. 

“I’ll text her after breakfast.” Y/n replied as she plated the waffles and served two cups of coffee. Liam was starting to get fussy as it was time for his breakfast too. Y/n left a plate in front of David and one in front of her before taking Liam so she could breastfeed him. At first she found it hard to do anything else while feeding Liam but with time and practice she had accustomed to multitasking. 

“So, the party...” She said, before taking a sip of coffee. “I don’t want anything too big, just a nice brunch with close friends and family. I’ll bake a cake and make the food. We’ll have a few decorations but nothing too crazy, theme is going to be dinosaurs because that is his latest obsession and I don’t want to see the place filled with blue balloons just because he is a boy, you know? Even if he is one, he still has a personality.” 

“You are so cute when you are in full mom mode.” David chuckled. “So... where is the Pinterest board?”

“I love that at this point you just assume there is one.” Y/n smiled guiltily at her husband. “I already made the invites and had them printed so we can hand them out later and I also bought cute matching outfits for all of us. Liam’s is just a white onesie with green dinosaur stamps because comfort first, there is a green dress for me and a green shirt for you. And yes, you have to wear it, I want pictures.”

“Okay, so basically everything is already planned.” David smiled, shaking his head. 

“Well, yeah. You’ll just have to get the balloons and other decorations, Nat is obviously going to help you and I’ll take care of the food. There isn’t much else to do, he’s just turning one.” 

“Can you believe we’ve been his parents for a full year already?” David asked looking at the baby in Y/n’s arms.

“No, it’s gone by so fast.” Y/n replied, sadness tangible in her voice. 

Once everyone was done with their breakfast Y/n took Liam out into the backyard and they both sat on a blanket. It was their little ritual, Liam would play with his toys and Y/n would just read or do some work, but that morning Y/n’s eyes wandered past the pages of her book and she just looked at his son play for a while. He looked so small and yet so big, Y/n thought back on the past year and how fast it had gone by. She was surprised by her vision getting blurry as tears streamed freely down her cheeks. Soon enough she was fully sobbing. 

David walked out into the backyard and was shocked to find his wife crying. He sat by her side and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “What’s wrong sweetheart?” He whispered. 

“He is getting so big. Soon he won’t be my little baby anymore.” She said in between sobs. 

“Baby, he’s just turning one. We still have seventeen more years worth of parenting to do.” David laughed softly. 

“But I don’t want him to grow up! I want him to be my little baby forever.” Y/n cried even louder. David looked at her and they both bursted into a loud laugh. “Okay, I know I’m acting crazy. But I’m not ready for him to grow up.” 

“Well... maybe it’s time we start thinking about... baby number two.” David suggested with a hopeful smile.

“Don’t say things you don’t actually mean, because I’m emotionally unstable right now and I might lock you into our room and not let you out until we are a family of four.” Y/n said looking fully serious. 

“That’s just another perk” He chuckled with a wink, earning a playful shove from his wife. “But I mean it. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but I didn’t want to pressure you into it, in case you were not ready.” 

“I am, I’m so ready! We both want a big family, right? I want Liam to have many brothers and sisters.” Y/n cheered with excitement. 

“Wow... let’s just start with one more... okay? We can talk about number three later.” 

“As long as you know there will be a number three” Y/n winked before jumping on top of her husband and planting a long kiss on his lips.

PS: My Pinterest is now filled with dinosaur themed birthday party diys 🦖🦕🦖

[365days365movies]

March 7, 2021: Onward (2020) (Part One)

Finding Nemo.

That’s my favorite Pixar film. Real talk, no arguments, and today’s movie? NOT dethroning it. This movie is so hard-wired into my brain, that the second I typed the words of the title, the theme song ran through my head, where it lives rent-free. It will be a cold day when I don’t find an excuse to shout “NEMOOOO!!!! I HAVE TO FIND MY SON!!” at any opportune moment. I will never stop swimming. Whenever I catch a Chinchou or Lanturn in a Pokémon game, I name it “Goodfeeling’sgone”.

SHARK BAIT OOH HA HA

YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE DEPTHS OF MY LOVE FOR THIS MOVIE.

...Ahem. So, yeah, I love FInding Nemo. For the record, the sequel ain’t bad. And also for the record, there’s only one Pixar movie that I consider to be bad, and it’s the one you’d think. You know, the one about ageism. The one where somebody dies by torture? The bad spy movie?

...the second one about cars?

Which means, YES. I DON’T THINK The Good Dinosaur IS THAT BAD! Not exactly good, but its gorgeous, and just kinda boring, not outright terrible. That Styracosaurus, though...that dude is great.

Anyway, off of Pixar for a sec, huh? What about fantasy? I’m a big tabletop RPG nerd, and I’m currently the GM for a Pathfinder campaign, a Pokémon RPG, and a Mutants and Masterminds game, while also playing in a Pathfinder game as well. Yeah, I’m a busy dewd. But what I’m saying is, this movie should be preaching to the choir for me. I’m a Pixar lover who plays RPGs. I’m ready for this. I’m ready for CGI Bright. Which is another way of saying, I’m ready for a version of Bright that doesn’t suck.

So, why haven’t I seen it until now? I mean...COVID-19. This film got FUCKED. But, no matter! It’s on Disney Plus, I’ve got Disney Plus, so let’s get this baby STARTED! Let’s get updated on some Pixar! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

OK, immediately digging the soundtrack over the Disney logo as we jump in here! Very ethereal, very fantasy, very LotR, I LIKE it, I LIKE it! And then...long ago, the world was full of wonder!

We get a view of the world of olde, with magic and many mystical, mythical creatures living together and adventuring. However, as magic wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to use, it eventually gave way to technology, fading away in a world now very similar to ours.

Basically, it’s about the same as our world, except for a few different races, and the fact that dragons are basically dogs, and unicorns are basically raccoons, which is fuckin’ fantastic.

We enter the home of teenage elf Ian Lightfoot (Tom Holland) and introverted now-16-year-old who lives with his mother, Laurel (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and his older brother Barley (Chris Pratt). Barley’s a tabletop RPG nerd who’s also a fan of the magical past. Said obsessions cause a strain on his relationship with Ian, and with that of his mother’s boyfriend, centaur policeman Colt Bronco (Mel Rodriguez).

After a discussion about Barley’s recent attempt to protect an old magical monument from destruction, he accidentally damages the sweatshirt that Ian is wearing, which was owned by their late father, Wilder. Ian rushes out, flustered, despite Barley’s attempts to bond with him. Well, looks like we have a sense of the plot for this one.

On his way to school, Barley stops to get some food when he meets Gaxton (Wilmer Valderrama), an old college friend of his father’s. From Gaxton, he learns things about his father that he never knew, like that he was bold and standout. From there, Barely pledges to try and be more self-confident, like his father.

Whiiiiiiich, doesn’t exactly work once he gets to school. He fails to stand-up to a jerky guy at school, he fails in his driving class, and he fails to ask other high school kids to his birthday party. But to be fair, Barley helps a bit with that last one when he shows up with Guinevere, his busted-ass van with a unicorn painted on the side. Which is supposed to be uncool...but I kinda dig it, not gonna lie.

After that, Ian completely flubs the invitation bit, confusing the people he was talking to, and disappointing himself in the process. He gets a ride home with Barley, and goes home to talk to a tape recording of his dad. Which is...beautifully sad, and somehow very easy to identify with. So, yeah, it’s gonna be that kind of Pixar movie.

Ian talks to his mom about his father at his age, asking if he was ever unsure. She says yes, but couples this with a surprise: a gift from his late father, who died of a terminal illness shortly after Ian’s birth. The gift is for both Ian and Barley, and was meant to be opened when they were both over 16.

She gets it from the attic, and they unwrap it, where it’s revealed to be a wizard’s staff. Which is weird, because Wilder was an accountant. In a pocket of the wrapping cloth, there’s a letter written by Wilder with the narration from the beginning of the film (that “Long ago” bit).

Also included is a spell, written by Wilder so that he could see who his sons grew up to be. This “Visitation Spell” would appear to be a way to bring Wilder back for 24 hours. Barley, being the magic-lover that he is, tries multiple times to cast the spell with the staff, but fails to do so, much to his and Ian’s great disappointment.

However, when Ian tries to read the spell out of curiosity later, the staff begins to react, and the spell begins to work. Barley comes in as this is happening, and the spell works...halfway. It starts to fail, and Barley offers to help, but Ian pulls the staff away, and the spell stops as the Phoenix crystal inside it shatters.

Looks like another bust, but it’s not a complete failure. And if you’ve seen literally any trailer for this movie, you know what happens.

Although it’s just his legs and feet, it’s still Wilden Lightfoot (Kyle Bornheimer...technically). The boys decide to try and complete the spell, but need another Phoenix Gem to do so. According to Barley’s “historically accurate” TTRPG, Quests of Lore, they will be able to find one by accepting a quest from the place where all quests start: the Manticore’s Tavern. And so, the quest begins!

The brothers and their half-dad board Guinevere and drive to the Manticore’s Tavern. On the way, Barley convinces Ian to practice some spells from the games rulebook, but they don’t work because Ian’s not invoking his passion (or his “heart’s fire”, as Barley calls it). Meanwhile, Laurel figures out where they’re headed, but doesn’t know exactly why...yet.

After the journey, they make it to the Manticore’s Tavern, which is now essentially a themed Chuck E. Cheese’s restaurant, owned and managed by Corey (Octavia Spencer), a very overworked manticore. Which is pretty great, not gonna lie.

They try to get the actual map to the Phoenix’s Gem from her in order to conjure their Dad, but she no longer sends adventurers on dangerous quests, mostly because she doesn’t want to get sued by any injured adventurers. When Ian argues with her about this, she IMMEDIATELY DIVES INTO AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS/MID LIFE CRISIS!

It’s, uh...it’s kind of amazing. Having completely lost it at this point, she basically tears down the entire building with her bare hands and fire-breath. Unfortunately, the map to the Phoenix Gem is burnt in the process of Corey’s literal meltdown. However, as Wilden’s about to be crushed by a couple of falling beams, Ian taps into his heart’s fire.

Nice. They get out of there, and head out for the Gem, using a child’s placemat replica of the real map to make their way to a place called Raven’s Point. However, rather than just follow the goddamn map, Barley decides to go on much more dangerous road known as the “Path of Peril”, once again following the “call of adventure” and his gut.

Which...yeah, Barley’s not really considering the reality of this whole situation, which fits his personality. He’s a dreamer, despite the rational and reasonable solution in front of him. And, in case you weren’t sure, I’m pretty sure that isn’t a good thing.

Ian points out the correct point that what actually matters is that they send enough time with their father, and they do indeed take the straightforward path. Good! Barley listened to Ian’s suggestion after all. However, they hit another snag when the car breaks down, completely out of gas. Problem.

Meanwhile, Laurel makes her way to the Manticore’s place, only to find it on fire! She meets Corey, who tells her that she’s met her boys, and told them about everything...except the curse. Also, there’s a curse. Laurel, who is the best movie Mom ever, tricks a policeman interviewing Corey to diverting his attention away from her, and smuggles her into her car to help find (and maybe rescue) her sons. 

Stuck off the freeway without gas, a desperate Ian asks Barley if there are any spells that can get them more gas. They concoct a plan involving a shrinking and growing spell, but that immediately goes wrong as Barley tries to instruct Ian, only frustrating him further, and causing him to fumble the spell and hit Barley with it, making him tiny. 

They decide to head to a gas station, where a group of pixie bikers has just arrived. This backfires when Barley, lacking basically any common sense, ends up insulting the biker leader, Dewdrop (Grey Griffin) and her ancestors. Nice one, Barley. As they escape from the pissed off pixies, the tiny Barley is unable to drive, forcing the driver’s anxiety-riddled Ian to drive, overcoming his fears from earlier by force, being chased by the pixies all the way. It’s a pretty good sequence, to be honest.

Well, they escape the Pixies...but not the cops. And I think that’ll be a good place to pick up in the next part! See you there!

[microcos-pod]

Micro-Cosmos S1E3: A Little Piece of Home Transcript

(The crew celebrates a special day. Transcript begins below break.)

[THEME MUSIC FADES IN] ANNOUNCER Futuristic Trail Mix Productions presents Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast. [THEME MUSIC FADES OUT] [sfx: button press] ATHENA Hey, HQ. It's Officer Athena Romero, with Crew #0137-F. I'm transmitting from... North 54 degrees, West 109 degrees, in a moment of alone time. Camp's not too far, I just... wanted to come out here to record. We were up so, so early, but we made really good time getting our travel in for the day. And... I don't know. I felt like being introspective. I know that's rarely a good thing to be, for people of our situation... but sometimes it can't be helped, I guess. We're nearing what Doctor Couvillion calls the temperate forest region of the planet. Oh, uh, Felix is... fine, by the way, in case you were wondering. I know I haven't talked about him a lot for the last week since his little run in with Mercutio, and in hindsight, that was probably a little alarming from your perspective. But, no. He's, um... just been very focused on his work. Ever since our encounter with that little... strange... cat lizard dinosaur thing, he's taken to a pretty enthusiastic approach of figuring out what it actually is. You know, what is eats, how it behaves, it's characteristics. Thus, he's not been his usual social self, but he's had what I guess you'd call a breakthrough. He's named it. The species, I mean. Varanus concolor. Apparently he's determined that it's a new species of monitor lizard. Exciting stuff. Miles and Cal have been sorta... tense, the last little bit? I don't know if Miles is still mad at them about that terrible, terrible prank or just for being, you know, Cal. I like Cal. And Miles. Honestly, I do. I think they're almost a little too similar to get along sometimes. I get that. I've been in the same spot for most of my life. I only recently figured out how to sort of... stop taking my own reflection personally. [sfx: fingers drumming on comms, pacing footsteps] ATHENA (CONT’D) Alex is good! If you're wondering. You know, morale and all. We've been talking a lot, since we're sort of the only ones not in our own world. Well, I guess we're all in our own world, that's sort of our job, but... 

[Athena laughs.] ATHENA (CONT’D) Literal humour, Athena. Good one. Anyways, she's nice to talk to. Leadership skills to boot, in case you didn't already know and needed someone to sing her praises. I think I'd be more than willing to sing her praises. So... the mission's going very well. Everyone is healthy and accounted for, and we're absolutely on track to get to our shipment drop-off point. Comms and tech and climate are all nominal. We're okay. We're okay.

[sfx: bag shuffling as she picks it up, footsteps] ATHENA (CONT'D) Oh, by the way, before I head back. It's my birthday. I don't know if that's something I should mention. Just thought... I don't know. I don't expect the others to notice, or even know at all, really. But it's nice to acknowledge another year, you know? I'm certainly not spending it where I would've expected to be if you had asked me on my previous... thirty birthdays. Anyways. Yes, it is my birthday, and I kind of miss home, and also I kind of don't, and also being here is present enough. So, I will celebrate by breaking open some of the candy in my bag, and getting some sleep- FELIX, ALEX SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! [Athena laughs.] ATHENA Guys! What are you doing?

ALEX Oh, come on Romero. You didn't really think you were going to get it past us, did you?

ATHENA No, I wasn't meaning to-

ALEX Oh, don't bother backtracking. You're busted.

FELIX There's no real party, or, presents, or... anything that would make this a proper birthday because of our circumstance, of course, but...

ALEX But an ambush was the least we could do.

FELIX The Commander and I only found out when she was conversing with Cal, inquiring of the database today's points of interest, or else we would've...

ALEX Done more than an ambush.Alex observes Athena, who's just standing there, staring at the two of them and grinning. But, I don't know. Seems like the ambush worked out pretty well. Try to smile less, huh?

ATHENA Heh. I, I mean... this is really sweet of you guys, I appreciate it.

MILES Appreciate what?

[sfx: footsteps, tapping on a screen] [C41′s JINGLE PLAYS] ATHENA Oh, uh, hey Miles!

MILES Heeey Athena, guys. What's up?

FELIX Did we...?

ALEX Nope.

FELIX So we forgot to...?

ALEX Yep.

FELIX Dammit.

ALEX Well, when you assume...

C41 Oh, um! Happy Birthday, Athena!

ATHENA Oh, uh, thank you Cal. Anyways, I was thinking we could get to bed early-

MILES Crap, it's your birthday?

ATHENA ... Yeah.

MILES I am so so sorry, I had no idea, I must have like, missed the memo, but-

ATHENA No, no, Miles, it's okay, I promise. I didn't say anything, and so how would you know? Spending it away from home, I wasn't really sure what to do, it's kind of hard, but...I just got busted by the Commander, so... [The crew laughs nervously.] MILES Happy Birthday.

ATHENA Thanks.

MILES You're welcome. Yeah, uh, actually, Cal and I forgot something back at our setup.

C41 We did?

MILES We did. The thing. We need. We need that thing, Cal, uh... we will be back... later. [sfx: footsteps walking away]

[C41′s JINGLE PLAYS.] FELIX Well, who wants to get this party started and play some cards?

***

MILES Caal! Why didn't you tell me it was Athena's birthday?

C41 I didn't think it was that big of a deal. It's just another day of the year, which... happens to be the day that Athena was born. You can congratulate her on still being alive, like you did, and then move on! Didn't seem that important to me.

MILES Yes, it's a big deal! It's like you said, it's the day someone was born, not just another day. Come on, Cal! Remember when Em and I made a huuuge deal about it on the anniversary that I created you?

C41 By chance, do you mean Doctor Macey? If so, then unfortunately, yes I do remember. It was very loud. If not, I haven't the slightest clue who 'Em' is.

MILES Yes. Her. Doctor Macey.

C41 Okay whatever. Anyways. Do continue on with what you were saying. It's proving to be really entertaining.

MILES Oh, I'll show you entertaining.

How did you not know that birthdays were important? Seriously, there's even a song about them. I taught you better than that.

[Miles sighs.]

MILES Cally, I didn't mean it like-

C41 It's Cal. And no, you're right. Why would something the O Great and Powerful and All-Knowing Miles Abbott made be so inconsiderate and dumb?

MILES Seriously, Cal. I didn't mean it. You know how I get.

C41 Yeah?

Oh, just drop it.

[C41 lets out a long series of scoffs and huffs in the following silence.]

C41 (CONT'D) ... Miles?

Miiiiiiles...?

MILES Caaaal....

Caaaaaaaal.....

C41 Miles- MILES Cal, I need to make Athena a birthday present!

I don't even know what she'd like, let alone what I could make her! There's like, nothing even worthy of being a gift on this planet.

[sfx: Miles snapping.]

MILES (CONT'D) What do I have? What do I even have? What does our camp have? I need to find something. Anything. I'll make it work. Cal, help me look. Please.

[C41 snorts.]

C41 Oh.

Oh, you mean actually help.

[sfx: a buzzing noise of C41′s form]

C41 (CONT'D) Um... well there are some big batteries that Alex didn't need over there, she left them this morning with her equipment. There is a... There is a... it looks like... is that a plastic fork? I really hope that isn't used. You all are a mess. And, um... what's that box, over there? What's that?

[sfx: footsteps, objects being knocked over]

MILES It's, uhhh... Chocolate. And... more chocolate. A gift from Emily, I... forgot I had these.

C41 Huh. A... whole box, huh? Of chocolate? What could you even make with those?

MILES I don't know, okay? I don't even know like, maybe I'm overreacting. Athena didn't tell us because she's not at home, or whatever-

Wait. Cal, what, um, what does Athena's home have?

C41 What?

MILES Where she's from. What's it like?

C41 Patroclus C? Well, it's-

[sfx: a long glitch]

C41 (CONT'D)- Patroclus C. A moon in orbit around more well-known terrestrial body Mirana Dunis. Patroclus-C is known for it's industrial prosperity and plentiful resources, as well as it's freezing conditions.

Notable landmarks include it's few geysers. All imported plant and animal life have adapted to the cold climate, however they take refuge in the steamy geysers that provide both water and heat- MILES Okay, Cal. That's enough, thanks.

[sfx: the same glitch, a zap]

C41 Oh, ouch. Eugh. Why did you let that happen? You know I hate that mode!

MILES I'm sorry! I'm stressing a bit here, if you haven't noticed.

C41 Yes, I'm well aware.

MILES Anyways. I... I think I have a plan.

C41 That's never good.

MILES Let's just hope this turns out. Mmm.... a decent start. ***

FELIX Have any... fives?

ALEX Go fish. [sfx: drawing a playing card].

ALEX (CONT'D) Got any queens?

FELIX Yes, yes. Queen of stars.

ALEX Thank you! Got any threes?

FELIX Go fish.

[sfx: drawing a card]

ALEX So close.

[sfx: approaching footsteps]

FELIX (with his mouth full) Better luck next time. Do you have any-

ALEX Want us to deal you in, Romero?

FELIX Athena? Hm. Cannot believe you were still doing work on your birthday.

ATHENA What's the name of the game?

ALEX Go fish. Do you play?

ATHENA I like to think cribbage is more my forte but... sure. Deal me in.

[sfx: cards shuffling]

ATHENA (CONT'D) Who's winning?

ALEX Me. I've won three matches.

ATHENA And how many has Felix won?

ALEX We've played three matches.

[Alex and Athena laugh.]

FELIX I am beginning to suspect her a cheat.

ALEX Can't help having an eye for this stuff.

ATHENA For what, counting cards?

ALEX I wish. Patterns. Got any kings, Athena?

ATHENA Go fish. Is that technically cheating, then? Patterns?

[sfx: drawing a card]

FELIX I believe I can call it cheating if it makes me feel badly about myself.

ATHENA Fair enough. Felix? Any fours?

FELIX Go fish. See, that felt perfectly fair.

ALEX Doc, I said patterns, not x-ray vision. You keep accusing me of cheating, I'm gonna start to take it personally.

FELIX I harbor suspicion, not accusation. Commander, do you have any aces?

[Alex sighs.]

[sfx: passing cards]

ALEX Dishes and comets. Happy?

FELIX Yes. Athena, do you have any sixes?

ATHENA Yeaaah. Here you go.

[sfx: passing cards, movement of pairs]

ALEX Feeling better about yourself?

FELIX Yes. Very.

ATHENA Jeez, you're already on track to win.

ALEX Felix, should I start repaying you all that whining?

FELIX I-

MILES (distant) DOES ANYONE HAVE JUMPER CABLES?

[sfx: stumbling, approaching footsteps]

FELIX Speaking of.

ALEX Uh... no, I don't think so. Maybe you should ask Cal?

MILES (distant) No. That's okay. I'll use the transport hawser. That should work... just as well if not better. I'll... I'm gonna go get that. Bye.

[sfx: retreating footsteps]

ATHENA That's... that's for... emergencies, what do they need that for-

ALEX My guess? Nothing good.

FELIX Commander, do you have any twos?

ALEX No, but I do have a Petty Officer who needs their marbles back.

[sfx: standing, retreating footsteps]

ATHENA Alex?

ALEX (O.S.) I'll be right back!

FELIX It's her turn, actually. Which one of us should go next?

ATHENA It's my birthday. Got any sevens?

***

[sfx: shuffling]

MILES I got something! Not cables, but... almost even better.

[C41′s JINGLE PLAYS]

C41 You're... actually doing this?

Oh... Okay. Even if it may be sliiiightly dangerous? Not that I care or anything-

MILES Look, I just can't sit back and do nothing for Athena's birthday.

C41 Yeah, but I think it would be better to guarantee everyone's safety than... You know, possibly blowing us up and setting everything on fire.

[sfx: metal chain drops]

[Miles sighs.]

MILES I guess that's true. I just don't want to disappoint her.

ALEX You're not disappointing her, kid.

MILES Huh?

Oh. Hi, Commander.

ALEX Wipe that sad look off your face. Even if you didn't know, she's happy that you're at least thinking about her right now.

[sfx: footsteps, shuffling, sitting]

MILES I... guess that's true. But I want to make her something. That's what I specialize in.

ALEX Fair enough. I guess I just didn't know you guys were this good of friends.

MILES I don't know that we are. It just seems like the kind of thing I should've tried for, I guess. We've got so much time to spend together and I don't want you guys thinking I'm cold and ignoring you all just because I get wrapped up in crap and get away from myself and especially lately with everything going on with Cal-

ALEX Hey. We don't think that. And I'm not just saying that, either. What were you planning on doing?

MILES I- ... Well, if I tell you, it would ruin the surprise.

ALEX Okay, okay. Do your thing, fix-it guy.

[sfx: getting up, a few footsteps]

MILES Hey, Commander? What if she doesn't like it?

[sfx: footsteps stop]

ALEX Remember what we talked about, kid. Make it from your heart, and she'll love it.

MILES O-okay, Commander... Thank you.

ALEX No problem, Miles. Always here to help. Let me know if you need anything else, yeah?

MILES Mhm! Now, I... I gotta get this show on the road.

ALEX Cal, keep an eye on them for me.

C41 Will do, Commander.

ALEX Good luuuck!

[sfx: retreating footsteps, tent closes]

C41 Well, that surely was-

MILES Alright Cally! We have some major business to attend to!

C41 -motivational.

MILES Okay, so I'm thinking... What if we melt the plastic fork? Like, all the way, and then, and, and then shape it around to make a base for the volcano geyser thing?

C41 That sounds incredibly dangerous. And like it would be highly amusing to watch.

[sfx: a whirring]

C41 (CONT'D) And according to my calculations I am correct on both counts. Do it.

MILES And... then we can put the chocolate in- Hold on, do we have anything to keep the chocolate melted?

C41 Hm. Probably not.

MILES Dammit, okay. That's fine, that's cool, uh... We can hook it up to the batteries someway to keep the heat constant and the launch device powered, that's fine, I can do that...

This is going to be a piece of cake. Let's go, Cally!

C41 How many times to I have to tell you? It's Cal.

MILES Mhmm, yeah. Let's just kick this baby in the teeth.

C41 Wh... what?

MILES It's an expression. Like, "let's blow this popsicle stand"? Or... "let's get this show on the road"?

C41 I don't understand how that could be related to either of those meanings.

MILES Whatever. I am gonna get this thing started, and it's going to be great.

[sfx: prolonged noises of tinkering and contstruction, a zap of electricity]

[Miles yelps.]

[C41 laughs.]

MILES Not funny!

[sfx: more sounds of construction and tinkering]

MILES Aaaaand there! Done. Finished. Phew.

C41 That looks...That... looks...I mean, um...That looks so good!

MILES You think?

C41 Yeah, I think she's-

ALEX (O.S.) How's it looking in here?

MILES Yeah, I think everything went great!

ALEX Perfect!

[sfx: Alex claps]

ALEX (CONT’D) Well, grab it and let's go; we have a birthday to celebrate. Take Cal and we'll meet her and Felix at that clearing. We're doing a little more celebration for Athena.

MILES Okay, Cal. You heard the boss; let's get going then.

C41 Yuuup.

MILES You know, I’m pretty proud of this.

C41 As you should be, Miles.

***

[sfx: approaching footsteps]

MILES HEY! Hey, guys I'm back!

FELIX Hello- oh. Oh wow. What...

ATHENA Miles... what's all this?

MILES It's, uh, it's your gift!

ATHENA Oh, Miles, really you didn't need to do that, that's super sweet, but-

MILES Oh, it's... it's just a little... something... electrocuted myself a few times making it, but- Happy Birthday!

ATHENA Oh. Oh, wow, that's really something, Miles, I love it!

What is it?

MILES It's a geyser. Like... you said. Well, actually you didn't say, but I did some digging and your... your home plant has... geysers, yeah? So it's like a little piece of home.

A geyser.

ALEX A geyser.

ATHENA Oh! Yes! A geyser. Of course! That's really thoughtful, Miles, you, uh... you shouldn't have! So it's like a... trinket! Or a little... a sculpture!

ALEX Oh... just you wait.

MILES Well, it's for more than just show.

Heh. Bet you've never seen anything like this before.

FELIX I'm quite sure I have not.

[sfx: setting down the present, the geyser bubbles and erupts pathetically, with a crackle]

[Miles breathing heavily.]

MILES Ta-dah!

ATHENA Ohhhh, wow, that's... that's so cool. Was it... was it supposed to melt like that?

MILES It was not the intention but apparently... that doesn't matter now-

[C41′s JINGLE PLAYS] 

C41 Evidently.

[sfx: more crackling]

ALEX Oh, okay, is this thing going to blow, Miles? Like actually, really blow?

MILES Shouldn't. It's a possibility... but it shouldn't.

ALEX Cal?

C41 Probably not? It'll be fine! Maybe Miles should get a little closer to shield the blast just in case.

MILES DON'T YOU RUIN THIS BY TRYING TO GET ME KILLED!

C41 Who, me? Never.

[sfx: the crackling and bubbling stops]

ALEX Alright, okay, okay. That was very cool. Right Athena?

ATHENA Right!

ATHENA (CONT'D) Look Miles, I really appreciate this, it's very, very sweet and I just hope you didn't feel like you had to do this, or anything-

MILES No, no, no. I wanted to. I mean... you were around to... keep me calm when I thought we were gonna get eaten in the woods. I didn't want you to think I didn't care, and... I wanted to make something nice for you. Normally I have more stuff to work with than forks and batteries and... chocolate.

FELIX Real chocolate?

ALEX Yes, real chocolate. Not now.

FELIX Ugh, and it's all on the grass, and... what a waste.

ALEX There will be more chocolate. Actually. Felix?

[sfx: receding footsteps]

[Alex and Felix whisper as they retreat.]

ATHENA Um, okay, but... Anyways. Thank you, Miles. That was a lot of fun. And I hope you didn't actually electrocute yourself.

MILES Oh, don't worry, it's not the first time.

C41 They're not joking.

MILES More of a shock than anything.

ATHENA Doesn't sound great for your health either way.

MILES Well, heh, yeah, I mean- Hey, wait a second. Wait what's-

ATHENA Huh?

[sfx: candles burning, approaching steps]

[Alex, Felix, Miles and C41 begin singing “Happy Birthday”]

ATHENA (overlapping) Oh, my... guys, what are you... that better not be our only fruit cake-

ALEX Come on, blow out the... flare candles. Make a wish.

ATHENA Okay, okay!

[sfx: blowing on candles, a glitch]

[sfx: candles burning]

[Alex laughs.]

[Athena hums in confusion]

[sfx: blowing on candles, a glitch]

[sfx: candles burning]

ALEX Come on, Romero. All in one go, now.

ATHENA Right. [sfx: blowing on candles, candles extinguishing]

[The crew cheers.] ALEX Happy Birthday. I'll clean up Miles's present later.

[Alex and Athena laugh.]

FELIX Time for cake!

[Felix leads Alex, Miles, and C41 in singing “For She’s a Jolly Good Fellow”]

FELIX  Cake! ***

[THEME MUSIC FADES IN]

ANNOUNCER Micro-Cosmos: A New Science Fiction Podcast. This episode, "A Little Piece of Home", was written by Zyrel Thompson and Lauren Tucker, edited by Luka Miller, and directed by Jesse Smith, Zyrel Thompson, and Lauren Tucker. It starred Jesse Smith as the voice of Athena Romero, Jackson Rossman as the voice of Miles Abbott, Luka Miller as the voice of Alex dela Cruz, Kaleb Piper as the voice of Felix Couvillion, and Pippa van Beek-Paterson as the voice of Cal. Original music by Julia Barnes, and sound editing by Tobias Friedman. Be sure to stay tuned to our feed for upcoming episodes from the new backpacking intergalactic adventure from Futuristic Trail Mix Productions. To follow the show and find transcripts, you can find us on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram as @MicroCosPod. Questions, comments, and concerns can be emailed to us via futuretrailmixpros@gmail.com. Find more information on the show on our website, microcospod.space. Thank you for listening.

[THEME MUSIC FADES OUT]

[orangeflavoryawp]

Jonsa - “Red Curtain”

My first modern Jonsa piece.  Definitely a different voice than I usually use, but loads of fun to write.

If you’re interested in the accompanying playlist at all, here you go.

Red Curtain

Chapter One: No Take-Backs

“He’s pretty sure he left that closet at least half in love with her.”  -  Jon and Sansa.  Summer’s for lovin’, after all.  

Oh, and crisis.  That, too. 

Read it on Ao3 here.

Part 1 | 2

* * *

"No, no, but you see, gravity doesn't matter here," Theon argues. "You're up in space. It's like a fucking swimming pool up there, just, you know, minus having your trunks hauled halfway down your ass every time you surface."

"Theon, it's not gravity keeping your jizz in your dick," Jon laughs, reaching for the ice bags Robb hands him over the edge of the pickup truck.

Robb heaves another bag over. "This is literally the dumbest conversation you two have ever had."

Jon points at Robb accusingly. "Hey, okay look, I can guarantee you this isn't the dumbest conversation Theon's ever had." He swings the offending finger over to Theon in point.

"Dude, how do you know how that shit works in space? You ever been?" he defends, fumbling with one of the coolers.

Jon rolls his eyes. He hadn't really expected he'd be arguing the finer points of masturbating in space when he got up this morning, but in hindsight, he probably should have, considering the day's company.

"I'll be back with the beers," Tormund calls out, coming around the truck as Robb jumps down.

Jon tosses him the keys in answer. "Grab some spritzers, too."

"You got it, Buttercup," Tormund says, winking, climbing into the driver's seat.

After a glare his buddy's way, Jon looks back to find Robb and Theon staring at him with matching smirks.

He shrugs. "What?"

"Spritzers?" Robb asks, closing the truck bed with a cocked eyebrow.

Jon grabs the cooler handle opposite Theon's hold. If he's lucky, maybe he can upend him. "Your mom likes 'em," he mumbles. And then he throws an arched brow Robb's way. "Actually, your dad, too."

"You're such a fucking suck-up," Robb laughs, shaking his head, piling in what bags of ice he could fit into the cooler.

"Your boyfriend's kinda cute, you know. He's not staying?" Theon asks with a nod sent back at Tormund as he peels off in the truck.

Jon throws a swing Theon's way and he guffaws in answer while ducking, before nearly dropping his end of the cooler, scrambling for balance.

Serves the fucker right.

Between the two of them, they get the cooler up the driveway. Robb trails behind them with a bag of ice on each hip, looking every bit the expectant father he is. "Tell Tormund to come by. He always makes a party more eventful," Robb goads.

"You mean more expensive," Jon throws back.

He's still paying off that bill for the pool table Tormund wrecked back at The Crow, after all. And yet, it's him who gets all the dirty glares from the bartenders now.

And really, what's up with that? It's not like he's the man's mother.

Jon shakes his head, glancing back at Robb. "Anyway, he's got a shift tonight."

Theon wrinkles his nose. "The brewery?"

"Yeah."

Robb mock pukes.

"What? It's a good gig," Jon defends.

"It's where you met Ygritte," Robb points out, shifting the ice over his hips.

Jon refrains from rolling his eyes. Only barely. "She's not a bad person. We were just... bad for each other."

"Ever heard of that river in Egypt?" Theon quips. "De-nile?"

Jon throws him an exasperated look. "Why do you hate her so much anyway?"

Theon's smirk instantly dips into a frown entirely too somber for such a face. "She borrowed my copy of 'The Thing' and never gave it back."

Jon actually laughs at that one.

"See!" Robb butts in, "Those are the worst kinds of people. She's a taker, man. What you need is a giver."

"Someone like Tormund," Theon supplies cheekily. "Seriously though, what is it with you and redheads?"

Jon drops his half of the cooler weight for a brief moment in response, just before catching it again, and Theon's yanked hard left with the motion.

"What the fuck, man?" He rubs his shoulder, glaring at Jon, but Jon's too busy laughing, before he stumbles over a sprinkler head when they dip off the driveway. "Agh, fuck, that hurt."

"Karma's a bitch, Snow," Theon taunts. "And she's my bitch."

Jon opens his mouth but Robb cuts him off, ushering them off the driveway. "Guys, left – go left. We gotta take the cooler round back anyway. Dad's already in the yard."

So they shuffle left, crossing over the Starks' large front lawn toward the side gate to the backyard.

"Watch the zinnias," Robb directs.

Jon and Theon stop simultaneously to look back at him.

"Dude," Theon deadpans.

Robb comes up short, glancing between the two, shifting awkwardly with the ice in his arms. "Mom will kill you," he says in answer.

"Do you want to carry this thing?" Jon asks with a pinched brow.

Robb brushes past them toward the side gate. "Just don't step on them. Come on, come on."

They trudge onward, and Jon really does roll his eyes then because of fucking course he still takes pains not to step on the goddamn zinnias.

Maybe Robb was right. He really is a suck-up.

They make it to the gate and drop the cooler, thank god.

"Dad! Dad, open up," Robb yells over the gate, rocking back and forth from foot to foot with that cold ass ice at his sides.

"We brought your shit!" Theon hollers, and Jon throws a smack to his chest in reprimand.

"Ow," he draws out dramatically, a hand to his chest.

Robb frowns at the gate, the gate that isn't opening. He wiggles the ice higher up his hips. Stares hard at the fence.

Theon cocks a brow at him.

"Call him," Robb says, chin jutting toward Jon.

He reaches for his phone, hands flattening over empty back pockets. "Shit, it's in my bag." The bag he left in Tormund's truck.

Theon makes a similar show opposite him.

Robb throws his head back with an exaggerated groan, dropping the bags down on the top of the cooler. "I'm not picking that shit back up again," he swears, an unexpected shudder rippling through him when he's suddenly ice-free. He clamps his hands over his chest, his t-shirt already damp and sticking to him. "Shit, my nipples," he curses.

Theon barks a laugh.

"Look, I'll call him," Jon says through a laugh. "Where's your phone?"

Robb shoos his hands away. "I got it, I got it." He pulls his phone from his back pocket, dials, waits a moment. "Yeah, Dad, we're here." He glances to the gate. "No, it's not open." He ushers toward Theon to try the latch.

It swings free as soon as he tries the handle.

Robb glares at the offending gate. "It's open," he mutters, hanging up.

Jon cocks a brow at him. "We cool to go in or...?"

"Yeah, they're coming," he assures, pocketing his phone.

And then Jon catches sight of Ned Stark coming down the long stretch of grass lining the side of the house. He's in checkered shorts, a short-sleeved button down, flip flops that squelch at his heels with each step, and Jon hides a chuckle behind his fist, because he fucking loves this man, summer fit and all. And then Benjen comes around the corner behind him, dressed similarly, jogging to catch up, a hand raised in the air in greeting and before Jon knows it, it's a rush of hugs, and claps on shoulders, and a kind of rough jostling that makes him beam, a rowdy tousle of welcomes, smiles stretched wide.

He misses this. God, he fucking misses this. The only family he ever truly felt a part of.

And then that useless, familiar guilt ripples through him.

The thing is though, he thinks his mother would have appreciated the closeness he feels with the Starks. After all, she and Ned Stark grew up living next door to each other for fifteen years, near as siblings as anyone could be. And then years had passed, and suddenly they were all adults, and maybe Ned made some better choices, and Lyanna hadn't. Maybe all of this was supposed to be ancient history. And he doesn't really know if history is supposed to be a lesson, he really doesn't. And he doesn't fucking care. Because his mom did a hell of a job with what she had, and he loved her, more than he knew he could love anyone, and she was good for him, she really was, right up to the moment that she died.

She never stopped being good for him, really. Even after she died – when Ned Stark wrapped his arm around his trembling, nineteen-year-old shoulders at the funeral, let him cry into his perfectly starched collar, took him home to a warm house, gave him some hot soup and his first glass of whiskey, told him stories about his mother that had him laughing as hard as he'd been crying just earlier – that was his mother right there. That was his mother bringing Ned Stark, and all the rest of them, into his life full force. No take-backs.

It's not something he thinks too hard about most days – how his first real birthday party, when he was seven years old, was a cowboys versus dinosaurs theme, because he and Robb Stark, the stupid, loudmouth boy next door, had gotten into such an argument weeks before (and they've never really settled that one since, to be honest.) Or how the boy across the street, Theon fucking Greyjoy, had knocked on his door in the middle of the rain, holding up the tail-end of his pet iguana with a look of exasperation far older than their eleven years with a sigh of 'He keeps getting into my sister's bathroom'.

And he tries not to think about the day he attempted to teach Arya to drive in his busted up Jeep and became witness to such road rage that had him shrinking in his seat, fingers curling around the hand-hold along the roof, or the way Bran quietly demolishes him every time they play a round of Modern Warfare, sipping his perfectly iced root beer with a hint of superiority, or the way Rickon had wailed when animal control took away that stray dog they'd found in the park, huddled under a bush, whining and licking at its broken leg. Or how Sansa had –

Jon swallows thickly, mind fizzing out.

Because he remembers how Sansa helped him pick out a new suit for his first day at the firm, when his nerves had been frayed all to hell. And he remembers how she helped him sneak Robb back into the house through her bedroom window, nagging the whole way through, when he and Theon had gotten her brother drunk for the first time in highschool. And he remembers back in middle school how she helped mend the jacket his mother had given him because he didn't want her to find out that he'd ripped it riding bikes through the construction site she'd warned him to stop playing in.

And sometimes, when he least expects it, he even remembers the morning after his mother's funeral.

After spending the night, he'd been sitting out on the Starks' front step just before dawn, his hands linked between his knees, mouth fuzzy from the whiskey Ned had given him the night before, and he remembered looking up at the sky. Barely a cloud in sight. This pretty sort of blue, just on the verge of daybreak, and he remembered absolutely hating it. Wanted to throw something up into that stupid, pretty blue, make it crack and break, blow a hole straight through it, watch the pieces trickle down.

And then Sansa pushed the front porch door open.

He'd turned back to look at her, squinting in the half-light. She was standing there in the same sweatpants and tank top she'd gone to sleep in the night before, holding an opened yogurt in one hand, a spoon in the other, keeping the door open with her hip.

He's sure he'd meant to say something, but nothing really seemed to be worth saying right then, so he just looked at her. She watched him a moment, like she was still deciding whether to step out onto the porch entirely or not, and then she offered a light quirk of her lip and let the door slip off her hip and shut behind her. She sat down beside him and started to silently eat her yogurt.

It was that probiotic shit he'd seen her eating dozens of times before, lemon flavored, and it was so normal suddenly – here – the morning after his mother's funeral, sitting next to Sansa Stark at the crack of dawn.

She looked at him, lip caught between her teeth. "Want some?"

And he'd let out a breath finally, all the anger bleeding from him instantly. He shrugged, a chuckle leaving him. "Sure, why not?" He opened his mouth and she spooned a dollop in obediently.

It tasted terrible. And he must have made a face, because her lips tipped down in an imperceptible frown and then she was glancing back at her yogurt. "It helps with indigestion," she said despondently, turning the tiny carton around in her hand, peering at the label.

And then Jon laughed, only it hurt. So maybe it wasn't a laugh at all. All he knew was that his eyes burned, and he couldn't look at her, and the air built up in his chest and it wasn't leaving, it just felt like choking, and he was sure he was laughing now, awkwardly loud and clipped off at the end, like his own tongue hadn't expected it, and then he was pressing his knuckles into his eye socket, like he could dig the very tears out if only he could clench his fist hard enough.

The sky was so stupidly, frustratingly blue.

And his mother was dead.

"I think it's supposed to get better with time. Easier, I guess," she said quietly beside him.

Jon looked at her, brow crinkled. "What?"

"Missing her."

He frowned at that, stared hard at the half-eaten yogurt held in her limp hand as she glanced out over the lawn.

She looked at him, and her eyes were blue, too. And maybe that was supposed to mean something, but it didn't. It didn't mean anything.

"You believe that?" he asked her.

She shrugged, an earnest look on her face. "It's what everyone says."

"Sure." He looked back to his hands linked between his knees, pressed the toes of his boots into the wood beneath him, just to feel it. "I guess."

"I'm sorry she's gone." She dipped her spoon back into her yogurt but just twirled the tip of it around languidly. She shook her head, and she looked so unbearably sad. Too sad for any seventeen-year-old to ever look. "I'm so, so sorry, Jon."

His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. "Yeah, me too."

Maybe she caught the quiver in his voice. Or maybe she'd just grown tired of playing with her yogurt, hands fiddling with the spoon. Fuck if he knew. But she looked at him then.

Jon turned to look out over the lawn where the lip of the sun had just begun to peak over the houses across the way. "I don't - " He caught the break before it could fully form, swallowed it down, tried again. "I don't really know how to talk about it," he admitted. Because it was true. "Not yet."

She gave it a moment, and then, "Okay." And he figured she'd leave then. But she didn't. Or maybe she just didn't know how. But he – he –

"Can you..." And then he looked at her again, caught sight of the new sun slanting over her face, and it was bright, too fucking bright, and she raised a hand up to shield her eyes, squinting at him, and he wanted to laugh again, but he didn't know how to make it not sound like crying. So he simply cleared his throat. "Can you just sit with me?"

Sansa's hand lowered, one eye still squeezed shut from the light, her mouth dipping into a frown. But it wasn't the sort of frown she'd always given him before, like the one she wore when he spilled soda over her homecoming dress, or the one she wore when Arya chose go-karting with him over swimming lessons with her, or even the one she wore when he punched Joffrey in the middle of the hall her sophomore year. No. This one was softer at the edges. And maybe it was just the morning light coming over the neighbors' roofs. Maybe it was just him being uselessly sentimental. But for some reason, her frown didn't bother him this time. Didn't bother him at all.

And damn. Was that supposed to happen?

Jon swallowed thickly, throat parched. "Will you just sit with me?" he managed again.

She set her yogurt on the step, forgotten. And then she braced her hands back on the porch ledge behind her, palms going flat over the wood. She nodded, the frown settling out into a thin, unassuming line. "I can do that," she said softly.

Jon took a breath, let it go. And then he was sure. Sitting there, staring at Sansa Stark at the ass crack of dawn, the day after his mother's funeral –

He was sure.

This was not supposed to happen.

But then, the morning passed, and so did the months, and one day Jon woke up and realized he was doing alright.

So no, he doesn't think his mother would begrudge him this happiness. Even though he misses her every damn day.

Benjen's hand on his shoulder now steadies him, and the merry-go-round of memories settles into a low hum in the back of Jon's mind. There'll be plenty enough time to get sentimental later. It's the Starks' annual cookout, after all. The first day of summer – when they stay up to the crack of dawn to greet the new season. It's got something to do with their family way back when or whatever. Making it through the night, a celebration of life, and all that cheese. Catelyn tried to explain it to him once but he was nine, and really, could she blame him for zoning out? Anyway, afterward, he'd just turned to Robb while they sat at the kitchen island, Catelyn pulling chicken nuggets out the oven for them, eyes wide as he whispered in awe, "She lets you stay up all night?"

Robb had nodded smugly, grabbing for the ketchup bottle with bravado, and after dinner at the Starks, Jon went home to beg his mother to let him join the party that year. She had an unofficial invitation herself for years, anyway. Why couldn't he?

Jon can now safely say that this annual cookout of theirs is the longest commitment he's ever made in his life.

"Your mother's in the kitchen," Ned tells Robb.

"Ooh, is she making deviled eggs?"

"When has she ever not made deviled eggs for this thing?" Theon interrupts.

Ned only offers up a hand and a raised brow in a gesture that easily says True. And then he's nodding back toward the front of the house. "Use the front door. You know how she is." He reaches for one handle of the cooler, Benjen already going round the other side.

"Yeah, yeah," Robb waves off. "Shoes off in the foyer and all."

Ned gives a smile, lifting then. "Why don't you boys try to give her a hand?"

Jon feels suddenly nauseated at the idea of traversing a kitchen where Catelyn Stark is wielding any kind of sharp cutlery. "Where are the girls?" he manages to gulp out.

Stupid gulp.

Ned shifts his knowing smirk his way. "Arya and Lyanna are somewhere about, I'm sure. Jeyne's at the store getting the grill meet with Sansa and Margaery."

Okay, so maybe his palms get suddenly sweaty, and maybe his jaw ticks, and maybe he gives a disinterested shrug (a very disinterested shrug, yes, very disinterested), but dammit, she wasn't supposed to be here this summer.

"Oh," he gets out.

Oh.

Like a fucking idiot.

"Jeyne's at the store?" Robb asks, brows furrowed.

Oh thank god for overprotective Robb. Jon feels infinitely less under the microscope when the collective attention shifts to him instead.

"What, does she plan on carrying that all back herself?" he asks, huffing.

Ned blinks at him. "Like I said, she's with Sansa and Margaery."

"She's nearly eight months, Dad."

Theon claps a hand on his shoulder. "Dude, she's pregnant, not incapacitated."

"You're gonna be incapacitated pretty soon, I swear to god."

Ned rolls his eyes at his son, hefting the cooler up with his brother on the other side. "Calm down, Robb. If you only knew some of the things your mother did when she was pregnant with you," he starts off, smile twisting.

Benjen barks a laugh at that. "Ned, do you remember when she – "

"Oh god, let's not do this, please," Robb groans, face pulled back into a grimace.

Ned just shakes his head, smile wide. "Go help your mother." And then the two older men shuffle off back into the yard, cooler and ice bags held between them.

Jon shoves his hands in his pockets, thumbs hooking at his belt loops. "So?"

Robb pulls his phone back out. "Give me a sec."

Theon throws his head back in a dramatic sigh.

But Jeyne picks up pretty quickly it seems, because Robb perks up instantly at the sound of her voice on the other end. "Jeyne, hey, babe. Dad said you were at the store?"

Jon pretends not to listen in.

Robb pouts. "We could have gotten it, babe. You know I brought Jon and Theon back today. You didn't have to – " He silences, pout turning into a slight purse of his lips. "Yeah, I know, but – " Another silence. He huffs. "Your feet aren't hurting?"

Jon grins wide at that, try as he might to smother it.

In a way, Robb and Jeyne have become a strange sort of model for Jon these last years. Not a bar, per se, but an example, at least. That much, at least, for sure. It's one of the things that threw his relationship with Ygritte into such stark perspective. Where their relationship was enduring, his was combustible. Where theirs was comfort, his was a trial. Where theirs was honest and open, his felt like a never-ending minefield.

And now: "Your feet aren't hurting?"

Jon wants to laugh. It's such a simple, unloaded question. But Robb may as well have said 'I'm in love with you' and it'd have meant the same thing.

So yeah. Not a bar. But a hell of a lot closer than he's ever gotten to it himself.

Theon lets out an impatient groan at Robb's phone call. Robb only glares at him. "Okay, babe. Yeah. That's fine. But wait, uh, can you pick up some of those chips I like? You know the ones. The onion thingies. The – yeah! Those! Get me some funyuns." He smiles blindingly. "Thanks, babe. Oh, and tell Sansa not to make you carry everything!" He stops, frowns. "I mean, it's not like she's – " Robb stops again, looking down. "Alright, I'm sorry, babe. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Love you, too. See you at home." He hangs up.

Theon immediately makes a whipping sound, gesture and all, a crooked smile breaking over his features, and if Jon hadn't valued his life so much, he might have done similarly. As it is, Robb is only trying to strangle Theon at the moment, which is fine by him.

"Sansa's coming?"

There. He said it. He asked.

Not so fucking difficult, after all.

Robb stops his attempt at throttling Theon to look over at Jon. "Of course, she's coming. It's the annual Starkfest." He gives him a disbelieving face.

Jon's brows hit his hairline. "I'm sorry, the what?"

"Starkfest."

Jon shakes his head as though clearing his ears. "Yeah, still didn't get that."

"Come on, doesn't it sound epic?"

"Sounds lame as fuck to me," Theon pipes up.

"That's your problem, Theon. You think your opinion matters."

Theon gives Robb a dramatically wounded look, hand to his heart. "Oh spare me, cruel viper."

Robb throws his hands in the air. "What? Bran likes it."

Theon drops his hand from his chest. The look, too. "I'm sorry, but Bran is most definitely not the measurement of coolness here. What are you on?"

"I think Bran's cool," Jon says on a shrug, hands still in his pockets.

"Okay, you've forfeited your right to speak in this convo," Theon says.

"Oh come on," Robb says. "'Starkfest' is perfect."

"I thought she was staying at Margaery's this summer," Jon says before his courage can fail him.

And fuck, are his palms still sweating? Jon bites off a growl of frustration at himself. Fuck that shit.

Robb blinks at him. "What, Sansa?"

Jon nods. Maybe because he's afraid of saying more.

"Yeah, she is, but she's not missing the cookout. Brought Margaery, too. They've been staying at the house for like, four days now. Heading back south tomorrow though. I hear they're going to a concert down in White Harbor before they get back to Marg's."

Jon furrows his brows at that. "She's leaving tomorrow?"

Robb nods.

"She's not staying up with you guys?"

Robb waves him off. "Ah, don't worry about it. She never made it to sunrise before, anyway. Always passed out at least an hour or two away. She'd probably appreciate the sleep more, actually," he shrugs out.

Jon purses his lips. "Right."

And all at once, he's wondering if she still keeps her hair long. If she still carries that dragonfly keychain on her phone. If she still pulls at the edge of her skirt when she's nervous.

If she still hates him for last winter.

Jon clears his throat, nodding back toward the front of the house. "Your dad said Arya was in?"

Robb smiles at him, thankfully oblivious to his desperate change of subject. "Yeah, she's not taking summer classes this year. Come on."

And then they're making their way back across the front lawn. Jon still takes care to avoid Mrs. Stark's zinnias.

He wonders, briefly, if Robb isn't the only whipped one here, but he doesn't think too long on it.

They're just fucking zinnias anyway. So maybe he just cares too much about the things he shouldn't. Attaches to things that give no promise of attachment back. And damn, there's some psycho-analytic bullshit somewhere in that mess, if he looks hard enough, but he doesn't.

He's gotten pretty good at loving the transient, after all.

Sansa Stark shouldn't be any different.

It's not really something that needs another look, he finds. Not then. And not now.

They make it to the front door before he can linger long on it, and then Robb is jiggling his key into the lock, and then he's pushing the door open, and then he's hollering Arya's name into the open foyer. Something about it sends Jon to beaming.

Home.

He's home.

Thunder seems to come down the stairwell. Jon looks up to find it's Arya. He barely opens his arms in time. She launches herself at him, jumping into his arms, winding her legs around him.

"Jon!" she cries, ecstatic.

And oh fuck!

"Arya, fuck, my back! My back!" Jon nearly crumples from her attack, stumbling against the end of the stairwell. "Holy shit, get off me," he chokes out beneath her bone-crushing hug.

She slips from him effortlessly, huffing a strand of hair out of her face. "Old man," she grouses, punching at his shoulder with affection. She grins up at him, crooked and earnest.

He softens at the sight. "You're getting too old for that."

Arya rolls her eyes. "Or you're just getting all rickety."

"That's my vote," Theon says at his side. He opens his arms wide for Arya with an expectant smile.

"Ew," she deadpans, one hand settling at her hip.

"Missed you too, runt," he says, ruffling her hair.

"Oh fuck off, Theon." She shoves his hand away, but he just brushes further into the house.

"The boys back from school yet?" he asks into the open foyer.

Bran suddenly crosses the threshold travelling from the dining room into the den with his face almost adhered to his phone. "It's summer break, dumbass." He promptly disappears around the corner.

Theon plants his hands on his hips. "Ah, that's a yes, then."

"Hey, babe, your Dad wants you and Rickon to help get all the pool stuff out of the shed," Lyanna Mormont says then, coming down the hall toward them before sidling up beside Arya with a hand at her waist.

Arya swings an arm around her shoulder. "Lyanna, you remember my brothers," she says, motioning to the three in the doorway.

"Unfortunately." Lyanna grimaces, and it makes her already dour face even more so. And yet, her hand at Arya's waist is tender, her glance toward her girlfriend softened somewhat, and Jon has learned by now to keep his smile in check.

He watches Arya's hand curl around Lyanna's shoulder and wishes for nothing else in that moment but many more such years ahead of them.

"Good to see you're still in high spirits, Lyanna," Robb smiles brilliantly at her.

"Yeah, well, you're not my brothers, thank god, soooo," she smacks her lips, turning to Arya. "Babe, you gotta get Rickon."

And just like that, the moment is shattered. Jon heaves a sigh.

"Rickon!" Arya yells up the stairwell behind Lyanna's head.

"Arya, what the fuck?" she snaps, hand to her ear.

She shrugs down at her girlfriend. Footsteps thump at the upstairs landing. "What?" an annoyed voice calls down, only a pair of socked feet in view as Jon cranes his neck up the stairs without success.

"Dad wants you."

"I'm not falling for that again."

"Fine," she says, shrugging, steering Lyanna into the kitchen. "But the boys are here."

Silence for a beat, and then the socked feet take a few cautious steps down, and Rickon's head pops out beneath the second floor obscuring the rest of the stairs. His eyes go wide. Smile, too. "Jon!" he beams, bounding down.

And fuck, it's a man coming down the stairs now, not some socked feet or a boy he remembers, but a fucking beast of a man. Jon teeters back, shooting straight from his lean. "Rickon?" he asks, eyes wide.

The boy – man – jumps the last three steps and comes hurtling toward him, arms wide. Jon opens reflexively, afraid he'll be mauled otherwise, and Rickon slams into him, rocking him with his hug. It warms something instantly in Jon, even if the teenager's head now sits higher than his own. He frowns at that a moment, pulling back to look at him.

Theon claps a hand on his shoulder. "Shit, Rickon, what have you been eating?"

Rickon smiles down at Theon.

Holy shit, he's smiling down at Theon, Jon realizes in horror. And then he squints at Rickon's chin. "What is this peach fuzz?" he laughs, letting the boy go, fingers flicking at his baby beard.

Rickon slaps his hand away good-naturedly. "You've been gone too long, man."

"Clearly."

"No hug for me?" Robb asks with a mock pout.

Rickon levels him with a dead stare. "You were literally here this morning."

"Doesn't mean I don't miss you," he croons, looping an appendage around Rickon's neck and tugging him into his chest.

"Oh god, no, stop it!"

"Come here," Robb smooches, wrestling with him through the hallway toward the back of the house. Rickon's protests drown out somewhere past the hallway bathroom.

The smile comes easy and wide along Jon's face.

Home, he reminds himself.

No take-backs.

[thegeekyzoologist]

My opinion on Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous (SPOILERS)

Like many people interested in the Jurassic franchise, I binge-watched that show back in september and here are my thoughts.  First of all, I precise that I had no expectations for the series as the combo Jurassic World + kid show didn’t attracted me at all, and the trailers have done nothing but confirm my fears.

Let’s start by the positive: - Amidst the cringefest that the first episodes were, the scenes with Darius back home stand out from the rest by their quality as they are centred more on drama and character development and not on clumsy comedy like the scenes on Nublar. The idea of getting an access to Jurassic World and Camp Cretaceous as a reward for beating that virtual reality game reminded me the recruitment of Eli Wallace by the SGC at the very beginning of Stargate Universe. - Starting from the beginning of the season’s second half, the series gets better and a little more mature in its unfolding and writing, up to the point where it doesn’t seem targeted for young children but rather young teens. Some dumb scenes remain however (like the one of the geneticist Eddie, abandoned in the lab with the sole company of his birthday cake). - There is a few action and suspenseful scenes that aren’t bad in the second half with, among other things, a hide-and-seek game with the Indominus amidst the containers, a part in the tunnels that can remind some people of Telltale’s game, a monorail attack by the pteranodons which should have deserved a live-action treatment, and a climax in a storage area where the protagonists have to use their wits in order to defeat the carnotaur and escape from the underground network. On the matter of the carnotaur, one can note a nice paleontological reference with its difficulty to turn when it is chasing prey. - Of all of the characters, Roxie is the most realistic, responsible and reasonable one (and the only tolerable one in the first episodes). And let’s bring now the negative aspects: - On the matter of the original soundtrack, I don’t remember any of the original themes sadly. As I had the same problem when I viewed The Witcher though (I didn’t liked its first season but I rather well appreciated its soundtrack following a separated listening), I will wait for the release of the soundtrack before criticizing it further. - The first episodes are a total farce with a succession of all kinds of nonsenses with the bunch of stereotypical buffoons that the kids are that are involved in stupid acts by the night of their first day, acts that fall under Reversed Darwinism (the survival of the most idiotic like Grant would say in Jurassic Park 3) and that gave me the desire to give some slaps and send those Kennys to a firing squad (for the crimes of property destruction and, above all, endangering dinosaurs and employees); the infringements during the activities of hygiene and security rules that are applied in many theme parks and laboratories around the world (with the kids wandering around in the lab and touching to everything in a total dissidence; running down a zipline and brushing past brachiosaurs...); the counsellor Dave which talks to Wu like if he was an old pal of his while Wu is one of the highest corporate executive around and someone famous and respected in-universe; Wu being depicted with the subtlety of a fat beer-drunk sea lion (with his mannerisms and attitude worthy of a James Bond villain, we know right away that he is bad); cartoony action scenes (I mean bloody hell. Look at that Parasaurolophus that jumps off the jeep’s roof like he was a fookin’ kangaroo while the jeep itself wasn’t miraculously crushed under the hadrosaur’s weight); the employees and the park’s security being shitty (one enter so easily in the underground network that Biosyn could organise rave parties there right under InGen’s nose; Darius and Kenji being left with no supervision in the middle of the jungle while they are supposed to shovel shit as a punishment); the dinosaurs that passes too as incompetent for failing to kill the kids while such situations in real-life or in the first films would have unforgiving or barely forgiving but only at a certain cost. - Despite the ordeals they are going through, the kids seems to be never traumatised or at least shaken like the Murphys, Kelly Malcolm or Maisie were respectively in JP, TLW and FK since here, they seems to be in shock for a moment or two before starting again to squabble or quipping once they are away from danger. - At the end of the monorail attack scene, I thought that the writers had the balls to kill off Ben  and I would have tipped my hat to this narrative decision and give more credit to this kid show if we didn’t had the reveal at the end that he was still alive. At the end, we just got another Billy Brennan situation. - Bumby is useless in this season, aside from encouraging toy sales and being the show’s cute caution and still, it’s relative as her closeups along with Brooklynn’s rapy face in episode 2 have scared me more than the predators’ attacks in the season’s second half. And her growth rate is so fucked up as she hatch in episode 2 before reappearing in episode 5 I think which is supposed to be set two days later, where she is already the size of a bulldog. And the scene where she cries while the kids are being kicked off the lab (for understandable reasons) is so ridiculous... - Aside from in the action and suspenseful scenes mentioned above in the positive aspects, the use and depicting of dinosaurs is either anecdotal, either WTF with the Sinoceratops being almost as gentle as a lamb (try to do with a hippo or a rhino what the Kennys did with the sino, I wouldn’t mind some funny antics...). I’m not a fan of the bioluminescent Parasaurolophus and their scene either. It seems like they wanted to copy the Na’vi River Journey’s attraction from Animal Kingdom in Orlando, with semi-aquatic parasaurs worthy of some outdated depictions from the last century.   - Visually speaking, the universe and the artistic direction are poor. The jungle has the same look everywhere on the island (with trees of average height being relatively spaced from one another while the ground is covered with grass) and its scenery never seem foreboding or ominous while Isla Nublar and Isla Sorna were, in some way, entire characters in the films that sometimes aroused an eerie sense of mystery and danger, at east in the original trilogy and Fallen Kingdom. The park itself is quite empty too, even before the evacuation. There is only scene with a large amount of people and the latter seems to all share the same model and the same animation in addition of being blurred (probably as a camouflage for the lack of budget) and we don’t believe in this world as nothing grand comes out of the visited locations (aside from maybe the eponymous Camp Cretaceous) and that everything seems so bland, with even the employees being of the same corpulence, age group and behaviour except for a few exceptions. - Finally, let’s discuss about the coherence with the Jurassic World film, of which this show is supposed be a canon interquel. Even though if there is several nods to some of the latter’s events (Masrani’s helicopter is seen a couple of times; the Kennys take the ACU’s van; they walk past Zach and Gray’s destroyed gyrosphere and the killed ankylosaur’s body...)  as well as other materials of the franchise, including JP3 and Masrani Global website, like if the show wanted to tell us “Hey look! I did my homework!” in order to please the fans. It’s one thing to make references to the rest of the saga and it’s easy actually, but it’s another to use them for something else than just fan-service. Despite all this, Camp Cretaceous has its share of inconsistencies with Jurassic World. I won’t list them all since it wouldn’t be that interesting but among other things, we have the mention of fences falling apart across the entire island while nothing like this happened in JW (it seems they mixed up the JP and JW incidents) or at least not on this scale; the kids visit a lab somewhere north of the park whose existence seems a bit off as the Innovation Center’s lab can do everything that lab does, in addition of housing Wu’s secret lab; the surroundings of the mosasaur lagoon which seems empty by the end of the afternoon while chronologically speaking, the scene is supposed to happen just after the pterosaurs attack (and thus the area should be crawling with employees that are looking for eventual late visitors, or the still running security cameras could have spotted the kids) and why did those foolish Kennys didn’t thought of going to the nearby hotels right after the ordeal with the mosasaur instead of hanging around in the bleachers up until sunset, hotels where a large number of visitors are supposed to be found up until quite late in the night according to the Jurassic World film? Anyway, Camp Cretaceous might have got a kick up the backside halfway through and the quality of the episodes did increased little by little but the whole season stays nevertheless mediocre and the viewing of the series is honestly quite dispensable, especially if you were disappointed by the Jurassic World films. Some will probably tell me that I’m being too hard with a kids show but actually, the fact that it is targeted for kids is no excuse for some flaws like a lack of ambition in the artistic direction, the shitty humour or the wtf scenes. Whether a work is for adults, for all audiences, or for kids, the creative investment and the work quality should stay the same.

[chalantness]

fic: Someday, Maybe

Rating: NC-17 Word Count: ~3600 Characters: Steve/Natasha Summary: “Later.” She strokes her finger over the stubble along his jaw. “Later, we’ll have all the time in the world.”

For: @fluffy-yummy​ and two anons

A/N: There are NO EXPLICIT SPOILERS but there are VERY VAGUE REFERENCES. Honestly, you'd only know it was a spoiler while reading this if you've seen the movie, but I am taking no chances for people so I'm putting the warning anyway.

I have never written anything so quickly after watching the movie and it will never happen again, so here is this absolutely plotless piece of fluff and smut that resulted from me watching Avengers: Endgame this morning.

Read On: [ ao3 ]

She feels his presence a second before his arms are wrapping around her from behind, crossing over her stomach and drawing her flushed against his warm, broad chest. His lips brush over her shoulder, right next to the thin strap of her sundress—then again on her neck, lingering, before he lifts his head to whisper into her ear.

“You’re supposed to be socializing.”

A laugh bursts from her, loud and bright, and she feels his lips curve into a wide smile in response against the shell of her ear. “I’ve only been back here for a second.” Glancing at their reflection in the mirror, she meets his gaze and arches an eyebrow. “Considering the amount of frosting your son got all over me, everyone knew I’d need more than a few minutes to wash up,” she reminds, and Steve chuckles as he kisses her neck again, teasing his tongue against her skin as if the vanilla buttercream is still smeared all over the column of her throat and into her hair. Oh, of course she’d been the one holding James when Tony decided that his godson should have the honor of feeding himself his first slice of birthday cake, and of course Steve had laughed at her along with everyone else before actually prying a giggling James and his messy little fingers away from his mom.

Considering only a little had gotten on James’s face and most of it had gotten all over Natasha, she isn’t surprised that Steve had been done wiping James off before she’d finished up in the guest bedroom.

“I would’ve helped you if you could actually wait one damn second,” he teases, mumbling the words into her pulse, drawing a hum as she tips her head back against his shoulder. Very faintly, she can hear the chatter and laughter just down the hall, pouring out of the Barton’s porch and into their wide yard. James’s first birthday hadn’t started out as this big celebration, but she supposes that, these days, none of them wastes a second to celebrate, and none of them skips out an excuse to get their family altogether.

She reaches up, pushes her fingers through his hair. “You mean, you would’ve licked it off of me.”

He nips her skin in response. “You say that like you disagree with the idea.”

Her eyelids fall half-closed, her smile widening as she stares up at the ceiling. “That’s not what I said,” she argues as he slides his lips down her neck, over the curve of her shoulder. “I just find it funny that you just berated me for not socializing when your idea would’ve kept us locked in here for much, much longer.”

He pulls the strap of her dress aside, letting the front of her dress fall open, just a little, as he meets her gaze in the mirror again. “Yeah? And why would that be?”

She breathes out a laugh as his arms unwind from around her, hands sliding down her sides. He holds her stare in the reflection as he curves one over her hip, squeezing gently, and his other slides lower, lower, toying with the hem of her sundress. “Because your touches always turn into something more,” she answers, her voice coming out just a little bit softer, a little bit breathier, as—as if to prove her point—his hand slips under her dress and up her thigh. His fingers are rough and calloused against her skin, yet his touch is smooth and gentle all the same, somehow, and warmth fans out through her veins as he teases and strokes. His grin is crooked and boyish, eyes glinting in mischief, and, oh—

That smirk of his is dangerous.

The first time he’d looked at her like that—after the war was over and the dust had settled, and the world once again began to pick up the pieces that had been leftover from the chaos—he’d pulled her into this very same guest bedroom, laid her across the mattress and barely let her up for air between deep, hungry kisses. Their bodies had only started to recover from the fight, and though his healing was further along than hers, she knew he still carried a bit of a limp in his walk, still got a twinge of pain in his shoulder. It was taking his body a little longer to bounce back from this one, which was to be expected, and it would take weeks before all of her own scars and bruises would even start to fade.

Still, that night, they ignored the way their bodies ached down to their bones, and the way moving just so brought on sharp bursts of pain.

They ignored their wounds, ignored the rest of the whole damn world that they had just saved, as relief and adrenaline and drowning, consuming love coursed through their veins and they drank each other in to the very last drop.

His body had moved over hers, first frantic and urgent, then slow and teasing and torturous, and then he’d rolled them over and pulled her over him and things became throbbing and desperate all over again. They’d gone well through the night, pretending not to hear it when Clint called them for dinner, then Laura, and eventually their stomachs stopped growling, as if their bodies had succumbed to the fact that their hearts and their minds were too damn stubborn to even consider stopping. Not a little.

The beginnings of dawn had started to filter in from the part in the drapes when Steve had all but collapsed over her, both of them sated and sweaty, still wrapped around each other, clinging to each other as musk clung to the sheets and sleep finally pulled them under.

Clint had piled their plates up high with a smirk when they’d finally showered and stumbled into the kitchen around lunchtime, but other than a few questionably-subtle innuendos – and a bright blush on Laura’s cheeks as she smiled and shook her head at them, amused – the couple had let the matter slide under the radar.

There’s no way in hell everyone else would let them off as easily.

“Steve,” she whispers, her protest sounding reluctant to her own ears as his fingertips skim the waistband of her panties.

“We’ll be quick,” he promises.

She doesn’t mean to laugh, but, well. She knows they can be quick. They’ve done it before.

“They’ll still notice,” she points out, turning her head and grasping his chin with her fingers, kissing him hard. He groans, tongue darting out to slip between her lips, and when she pulls away, he chases her kiss with a nip to her bottom lip. “Later.” She strokes her finger over the stubble along his jaw. “Later, we’ll have all the time in the world.”

His smile is slow, almost reluctant, and she knows it’s because he likes to hear those words—likes to remember that it’s true—even though she’s using it as excuse to say no.

“Yeah?”

She hums, kissing him once, twice, three times, smiling against his lips. “James skipped his midday nap,” she reminds, drawing back just enough to watch his eyelashes flutter ever so slightly in realization. “And you know how much Laura loves sitting on the couch with him while he’s asleep, curled up with a nice, long paperback.”

His smile twitches into another smirk. “She won’t be in any rush to hand him over.” Natasha presses her lips together, nodding. Steve chuckles. “Alright. Later.”

And, as if on cue, there’s a knock on the bedroom door barely a moment later as Wanda voice comes from the other side. “Natasha? Are you still washing up in there?”

Steve unwinds himself from around her, drops another kiss on her lips—quick but sweet—and then takes her hand in his, threading their fingers together as they head out of the bathroom and across the guest bedroom. Steve pulls the door open to find Wanda on the other side and Bucky standing just behind her, a crooked grin stretched across his lips as Wanda blinks at them for a moment before breaking out into a giggle. “Told you she wouldn’t want our help,” Bucky quips, his metal hand gently squeezing the girl’s shoulder.

Wanda rubs her lips together, eyes twinkling. “Clint wanted us to grab you before they do the gifts. James is already ripping at the wrapping paper.”

Natasha rolls her eyes as she smiles, her chest fluttering as it always does when she thinks of her little guy. “He has his father’s impatience,” she quips, wiggling her hand from Steve’s so she can reach for Wanda, linking their arms together as they walk down the hallway.

“Yeah, we all know about his father’s impatience,” Bucky points out with a chuckle. “That’s how we got James in the first place.”

... ...

“God. Look at that face. Are we sure he isn’t a clone?”

Laura laughs beside her husband as they stare down at James, who is fast asleep in the cradle of her arms, tucked in his new dinosaur blanket from Bruce—which matches the dinosaur theme of James’s birthday party, which had earned an amused roll of Steve’s eyes and a mutter of, “fucking fossils,” under his breath as he’d taken in the décor Lila and Cooper had taped all over the house. Natasha sips from her wine glass, her smile widening as her gaze lingers on James, his tiny mouth parted as he takes in steady, sleepy breaths, his ridiculously long lashes fanned against his cheeks. He knocked out almost as soon as Pepper passed him over to Laura with a kiss to his cheek, as if he’d known the last of his guests were gone. Natasha wouldn’t be surprised if that was even a little true. James is stubborn, and he’d much rather fight off sleep if it means being able to play.

“No. This nose is all Natasha,” Laura points out, dipping her head and brushing a gentle, feather-light kiss to the tip of James’s nose, as if in emphasis of her point.

Clint chuckles, presses his face into his wife’s hair and murmurs something low in her ear that makes her laugh softly with a shake of her head. She turns to whisper something in return, the two of them lost in their own little world, and, just up the staircase, she can hear the kids laughing it up in one of their rooms.

She smirks, drains the last of her wine and stands from the armchair. “I need a refill,” she says, more as a courtesy than anything else, considering Clint and Laura barely spare her a glance.

She sets her glass in the kitchen sink, feeling herself grin as she sees the dishes neatly stacked in the drying rack. Laura had insisted that Steve didn’t have to clean up, but of course he’d done so, anyway. Though in this moment, Natasha knows it has less to do with being considerate and more to do with wanting to give Laura a reason to lounge with James on the couch—distracted. Natasha glances back at the living room once more before slipping down the hallway to the guest bedroom, shutting the door softly behind her.

Then Steve is grabbing her back by her hips, drawing a breathy laugh from her throat as he spins her around and grasps her hands, guiding her back toward the bed.

“Ten more seconds and I was going to go out there and throw you over my shoulder,” he murmurs, smirking into their kiss before he’s slanting his mouth harder against hers, licking at the seam of her lips and groaning when she parts them for him.

“That wouldn’t have been discreet at all,” she manages to get out, breathless, as he nips at her bottom lip. He grasps the hem of her dress and pulls it up, drawing back just long enough to tug it off and over her head, tossing it to the floor, and then her calves are hitting the edge of the mattress and her body is falling back against the bed. He braces a knee between her legs, one hand by her head as he peers down at her, eyes trailing down her body like a palpable touch over every curve, every inch of skin. She doesn’t know how something as simple as his stare can feel so intimate. How it can feel both innocent and reverent, yet downright dirty at the same time, but she loves it. God, she loves it.

“How,” he breathes, dropping his other hand over her hip, thumb stroking the scar there before giving her a gentle squeeze. “How did I get so lucky?”

“Pretty sure that’s my line,” she murmurs as she cups her hands over the back of his neck, dragging his lips back down in a kiss, bringing his body hard and hot against hers.

He takes his time kissing her, settling his hips between her legs, winding her body around his. Every part of her feels heated, feels like it’s wound tightly, throbbing, yet she doesn’t want to break from this trance they’ve found themselves in. She wants to savor the way his mouth slants over hers, their tongues pressed together, drawing soft sighs and light, barely-there whimpers from the back of her throat. She wants to savor the way she can feel his kiss in every drop of blood in her veins, in every beat of her heart.

Until she feels his muscles quiver under her touch, her hands smoothing circles over his back, his heart tripping in his chest before picking up into a rapid thrum.

Until his kiss turns desperate, with a tiny, tiny touch of anxiety, and she already knows the words he wants to say as he whispers them against her lips.

“Is this real?” He yanks his mouth from hers, dips his head and sucks at the column of her throat, grinding his hips into hers. She moans softly, arches her spine off of the mattress as best as she can with how heavy he is over her. “Please tell me this is real.”

“Doesn’t this feel real to you?” she asks, pulling his hand from her hip and guiding it between them, over her racing heart. “Don’t I feel real?”

“You feel too fucking perfect to tell,” he groans into her mouth, his thumb stroking at the tiny bow of her lace bra between the dip of her breasts. She slips her hand low, lower, cupping where he’s deliciously hard, her lips twitching into a grin as he practically growls into her neck. “Nat.”

“I bet that feels real,” she whispers, squeezing gently, until he’s yanking her hand away and lifting himself up and onto his knees, undoing the front of his jeans. She hooks her fingers through his belt loops and lifts herself up, kissing the hard lines of his chest, feeling his muscles quiver and flex under her lips as she trails over contours and dips, down the sloped curve of his hips—and then he’s twining his fingers in her hair and gently drawing her away, letting her fall back against the mattress again with a breathless laugh.

“Later,” he says, lip tugging at one corner. “Right now, I need to be inside of you.”

“Promises, promises,” she retorts, grinning, and then she’s hooking her thumbs under the waistband of her panties and shimmying them down her hips. He arches an eyebrow, smirking, and she slowly pulls them off from around her ankles and tosses them aside. If she left it up to him, he’d rip her out of all her pretty lingerie.

Then he works his jeans off, dips his head and sucks at her nipple through the thin lace, and her spine arches off of the bed as she moans. He cups her other breast, tweaks at her other nipple with his fingers. The hard length of him is pressing against her wet folds, nothing but his boxers between them, and every roll of his hips makes the heat coil at the base of her spine. She twists her fingers into his hair and yanks him up, brings his face to hers, his lips barely an inch away, and he smiles as he slants his mouth over hers.

She slides her hands down his back, grasps at his boxers and tugs them down, and then her hand is curling around him, stroking, thumb circling over the wetness at his tip as she draws him to her entrance. He groans into her mouth, reaching between them, splaying a hand against the inside of her thigh and holding her open just so as he sinks in with one, swift stroke, down to the hilt, pushing the air from her lungs as her hands gets trapped between their hips, her fingers brushing against her little bundle of nerves.

Nothing ever compares to that first push, to the way he always stretches her out, the way he always fills her deep, so fucking deep.

He pulls his hips back, almost all the way out, then pushes back in, licking into her parted mouth as he does it again, and again, and again, quickly finding that slow, teasing rhythm that he loves so much. That drives her crazy and makes her fall apart way too fast.

Then he gets out, “Touch yourself,” through a tight throat, the command gruff but stern all the same.

Her eyelashes flutter. “But—” She’ll get too close. She’ll come too fast.

He smiles that perfect, gentlemanly smile of his, his eyes twinkling, reading her every thought. “That’s the idea.” He nips at her lip. “Don’t worry, love. I could do this all night.”

Her laugh gets muffled between their kiss as she complies, spreading herself open with her fingers, stroking herself in tight circles—going slow at first, the way he always does. Teasing, torturous, letting her pleasure build along with the pace of his thrusts. Her sex tingles, twitching and tightening around him with every stroke of her finger, and though he’s not moving nearly fast enough to consider it fucking, she can feel the wisps of her orgasm. Just the thick length of him inside of her, rubbing against her as she strokes her little bundle of nerves is driving her crazy, and she doesn’t know how long she lasts. It feels like forever, but it also feels like seconds, but then she’s right there, right there.

He pulls away just in time for a cry to leave her lips as she falls over the edge, delicious, her body squirming against the mattress.

Then he curves a hand under her ass, squeezing, and starts thrusting even harder, faster, and the sudden change in pace would be enough to make her dizzy if her head wasn’t already spinning.

She moans louder, fingers fumbling for the sheet, twisting it, her head turning to press her cheek against her pillow as she rides out the waves of her high. He wrings every ounce of pleasure from her, unrelenting, not letting her body fall back down from that blissful peak as his body grows taut, muscles tightening, hips quickening.

She feels as if she’s suspended in her high. She feels weightless, boneless, somehow hazy with pleasure yet sharp with awareness, feeling every little brush of his skin against hers.

When she comes for a second time, he’s right there with her, hips stuttering until he’s pulling her flushed against him, pressed against her as close as physically possible as she digs her nails into the muscles of his back. Her sex flutters around him, his warmth spilling into her, and his breaths are hot and sharp against her shoulder with his face pressed into her hair. His heart is thrumming in his chest, racing against hers as the both of them try to catch their breaths, her lips pulling into a smile as her eyelashes flutter closed.

Slowly, a few long moments later, she feels his hips start to draw back, feels him start to pull out, but she slides her hands to his hips and digs her nails in, making him pause.

He lifts his head, a sated, sleepy sort of smile on his lips as he peers down at her. His eyes flick down to her lips when she rubs them together, then back up to meet her gaze, one eyebrow arched.

She tightens her legs around him, tucks herself closer to his chest. “Just a little longer,” she whispers, kissing the line of his jaw. “I like how it feels.”

His eyes glint in amusement, and adoration, and a little bit of awe, too. Because he always seems to look at her like that. Like he can’t believe she’s real, and his.

“You like feeling stretched out and sore?” he asks, the crude visual of his words making her heart skip like some fucking schoolgirl. She gnaws on her bottom lip, trying and failing to keep her smile from widening. “You like feeling my sweat against yours? Like feeling where we came together?”

“It makes it feel real,” she says, barely above a whisper, but his expression softens because he hears her. Hears all the things she isn’t saying.

Hears the relief and the promise and the hope. She’s so full of hope these days and that’s because of him, because of their little miracle fast asleep in his godmother’s arms outside. Her two boys. Her whole world.

“Yeah, it does,” he breathes out, and then he’s kissing her, soft and slow and sweet, down to her very soul, and she’s never felt anything as real as this moment.

[magsdomino]

SetsuDeku #9 please 🙏

This is a bit different and sadly, not shippy. However I figured this drabble would be the perfect trial run for an AU I have been entertaining. If it is rushed, I apologize. I wanted to keep it as a drabble and it is nearly at 1000. Also I didn't namedrop Setsuna's mom here but her name is in another post I made.

----------------

It was Izuku's 8th birthday. As usual, nobody showed up to greet him and his mom. Nobody But a little girl with longer curly green hair and lizard-like eyes. She carried a package in her arms, insisting on doing so herself.

"Mr. And Mrs. Tokage. So glad you could make it. Nobody showed up and, well." The woman trailed off, looking sadly at her son's bedroom door.

She was cut off however by the little girl zooming by to and placing the gift on the couch. The adults stood and looked at each other as Setsuna sent a hand flying off her body and into the door, knocking it open. She already had a party that on (customized with dinosaurs) and a noisemaker at the ready.

THUNK! FWEEEEEEEE!

"Happy birthday, fellow green bean!"

The girl leapt into the air and bounced onto the bed.

"ACK! SETSU-CHAN! WHAT THE HECK?!"

The lonely boy without a quirk was sent flying and taken by utter surprise. He really should have expected a sneak attack from his only real friend at the time.

"I heard you were down. Can't have that on my fellow brand's birthday. Quirk or not, you're special. I got you something. One second!"

The girl's arms went flying into the sitting room to grab her present. Unfortunately she was having a bit if trouble with it. Her dad's voice rang out.

"What did we say about unregulated quirk use, Gecko."

"Sorry, dad! Could you bring in Izu-Chan's gift please? I want to hand it to him."

Ryunosuke obliged and walked in carrying the present. He placed it on the bed in front of Izuku and his daughter. It was a surprisingly moderate sized box. Izuku's eyes sparkled at the possibilities before he tore into it. Thankfully there was no disappointment this year.

It was a player featuring I-Island and the hero Godzilla. Attached to the box was a rare figure of Young age All Might, accompanied by one of his lesser known villains,Titanboa. Leave it to his friend to pick out something he really likes while sticking to a reptilian theme.

"T-t-thank you so much, Setsu! You are amazing"

"Hehe. No prob! Let's play with him! It's what toys are for! Dibs on Titanboa! I've been perfecting an evil voice. My sis used it to scare me during bedtime stories.

Ryunosuke chimed in.

"Sounds great, kids but maybe later. It's time for eats." The imposing yet relaxed lizard man hissed paternally.

"Okie doke"

"awww nuts. Ok. But after dinner it's time for justice!"

"Yeah!"

The 8 and 7 year olds (respectively) left the toys and wrapping paper on the bed and headed to the kitchen to help set up, leaving Setsuna's dad to laugh gently and throw the wrapping paper into Izuku's trash.

X

The party, as small as it was, was still meaningful. Katsudon, being Izuku's favorite, was on the menu, as was an All Might themed birthday cake. The adults spoke about work and their kids. Meanwhile, said kids had played with Izuku's presents, including a handmade All Might Hoodie from his mom and a card with money in it from his dad overseas.

"Thank you...so much...you are so nice to me. Nobody else showed up but you did. I-I don't deserve it. You have such a cool quirk while I'm…"

The tears welled up as the young boy looked at the ground. He felt a lump in his throat as the emotions welled up and made their escape.

"Worthless."

A hard punch landed on the boy's shoulder, dragging his attention to the burning eyes of a frustrated little girl.

"Stop it! Don't you ever do that again."

"Do what?"

"Insult my brother, you dingus!" She puffed her cheeks and stuck out a forked tongue.

Izuku was confused. He never made disparaging remarks about anyone's siblings. Besides, his reptilian pal had an older sister and some cousins but no brother. 

Then it hit him, as did the tears. He felt blessed just to have a real friend, one Who was genuinely kind to him and didn't treat him like garbage. But to actually consider him family? The quirkless boy was touched beyond words and could only cry. This had been the best birthday he could ever ask for.

"Hey, Zuku-bean. Don't fall apart on me!" the young girl laughed softly, puncturing the turn of phrase by breaking into several chunks using her quirk. This got a laugh out of her fellow greenette.

"There we go. A smile worthy of All Might~"

"T-thank you, Setsu-Chan… Even without a quirk… I feel grateful. You'll make a great hero some day."

"Aww shucks. You too, my bro-coli."

"You are way better at nicknames then Ka--"

Setsuna cut him off with a finger to his mouth and shook her head.

"Nope. He didn't show up so he doesn't get airplay. Baby Boom boom can stew in his ego. This is your day."

Izuku looked at the vintage Young age All Might figure Setsuna had bought him, as well as the Godzilla themed card she picked out in typical Tokage fashion.

"No ...it's our day ...you...You called me your brother….I...so that makes you my sister...right?"

"Duh? Of course. Cone on. I think there is some cake left. You run interference and I'll bring it into your room so we can watch Power Rangers."

"Gotcha...um...Sis-suns? Setsister?"

The lizard girl snorted and laughed.

"Needs work but I like it. Come on! We heroes have a special mission!" The girl posed dramatically with a wink. Izuku followed her lead.

And thus a meaningful day continued until it was time for the Tokages to leave. But of course, there was more to the story than that. Perhaps one day, it will be told. For now, both children left secure in the knowledge that their families had grown by bonds if friendship.

[mysongfortheasking]

Disturbing Children’s Books

In her speech “Dare to Be Creative,” author Madeleine L’Engle starts off by referencing a question originally presented by TS Eliot: “Do I dare disturb the universe?” L’Engle admits that is a daunting and difficult question—do we dare disturb the universe? And how do we do that? She says: “I believe that good questions are more important than answers, and the best children’s books ask questions, and make the reader ask questions. And every new question is going to disturb someone’s universe.”

Children’s books, she says. Not grown up books. Not classic literature. Not self-help books or deep commentaries. Not ancient texts or old legends or myths or any other type of reading material. Children’s books. Something we (myself included) might be prone to dismiss.

I am currently working on my Master’s in English, and this summer, decided to take an online summer course. I chose “Picture Book” class because I thought, “How could a class focused solely on picture books be that hard?” (The answer, I discovered, is that it can be that hard when you cram an entire semester’s worth of work into a five-week express course. I made it, but I didn’t sleep much during the month of June.) Despite my lack of sleep and insane amount of coffee consumption during that time, the class changed my life. I could write an incredibly long and never-ending post about all I learned from that class or the valuable materials we received (which I might do at some point or another), but that’s not why I originally started this post. Today, I want to share some disturbing children’s books. But disturbing in a good way.

Since there are countless “disturbing” children’s books, I decided to just share four good ones I’ve recently read. I also decided to narrow it down to a “theme” for this post: these books are all focused on female empowerment. But just because I say, “female empowerment,” do NOT think these books are just for girls. These books are for everyone. These books will interrupt the mainstream narrative and say, “Hang on, let’s think about this.” These books that will make you ask questions. These books might tell you something you needed to hear—they might even make you say, “Wow I never thought about that.” These books will open your eyes, challenge your thinking, and speak to your soul. I’ve attached Amazon links to them all in case you think “Wow I need these in my life!” (Because I promise you, you will.) These books will certainly disturb your universe, if you allow them. Let the disruption begin.

1) MY Rules for Being a Pretty Princess written and illustrated by Heath McKenzie

The protagonist in this book is an unnamed little girl who “more than anything else in the whole wide world,” wants to be a pretty princess. Her wish comes true when a real princess arrives and tells her the rules of being a princess: wear a pretty dress, always have perfect hair and makeup, attend dainty tea parties, dance gracefully, and finally, wait (literally, just stand there and wait) for a handsome prince.

Our sweet little protagonist is quickly bored and uninterested in the rules of being a princess, so she makes her own. She decides that to be a princess, you simply have to be yourself. You wear FABULOUS (instead of uncomfortable) dresses. You have AMAZING (instead of “always perfect”) hair and makeup. You attend DELICIOUS instead of dainty parties. You simply dance, instead of always having to dance gracefully. And (my personal favorite part of the whole book) she scraps the rule about waiting on a prince entirely, and in a beautiful closing illustration, dresses up like a knight and becomes her own hero.

This book is a simple one only in the sense that it doesn’t have a lot of words. It’s more of a “comic-strip” style with pictures and speech bubbles. There isn’t a complicated plot or storyline, but despite being minimal in nature, this book is still radically “disturbing.” Even though I saw the name on the front cover, I didn’t think twice when I assumed a woman wrote the book for other young girls. When I finished the book and flipped to the blurb about the author on the back, I was surprised to see the photograph of male author Heath McKenzie, and even more pleased to read the explanation of why he created this book: “Before Ava [Heath’s daughter] was born and before he knew she’d be a little girl, Heath began wondering about what might happen if he had a daughter,” the blurb says. “He wanted to make sure she knew she could be anything she wanted to be when she grew up! Because she can!”

You could say that Heath wanted to “disturb the universe” on behalf of his little girl, and this book certainly does that. He wanted to tell his little girl something that ALL little girls (and honestly, all people) need to hear: “No matter what anyone says, YOU can be whatever you want.” And while there isn’t a complicated plot line in this story, the closing illustration subtly sends the message: “You don’t need saving and you don’t have to wait around for someone to come and get you—you can be your own hero.”

2) Dinosaur Expert written by Magaret McNamara and illustrated G. Brian Karas

This book is about Kimmy, a young girl who loves science, especially dinosaurs. She is excited to share all of her knowledge on a field trip to the dinosaur museum, but one of her classmates named Jake says, “Girls aren’t scientist.”

Kimmy sees all “boy names” in the list of accomplished paleontologists and gets discouraged. Maybe, she thinks, Jake is right—she shouldn’t talk anymore about dinosaurs because, after all, she is a girl. But when her teacher, Mr. Tiffin, shows her all the work done by female paleontologists, Kimmy realizes that Jake is all wrong: girls can be contributing scientists too.

While this book has a lot more words (there’s some big science words that even I struggled with), it teaches the same thing that Heath McKenzie wanted to show in his book: you can be anything. I love that they picked a “male dominated field” like paleontology to demonstrate this, but I think there’s also an extra layer in the use of dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are usually a “boy thing”—boys get to play with dino toys, boys get to watch Jurassic Park, and boys get to be paleontologists. But Mr. Tiffin helps Kimmy (and the readers of this book) realize that it isn’t a “boy-girl” thing: girls can love dinosaurs too. There’s also an extra “bonus” in the back of the book where Kimmy presents readers with seven different female paleontologists from all over the world and all different stages of life. (My personal favorite is Daisy Morris, a four-year-old who discovered the fossil of a new species of dinosaurs, which is now named “Vectidraco daisymorrisae” in her honor.)

There’s so much educational information about dinosaurs in this book, even I learned a lot from it that I never knew. Personally, I think this book is one that is most powerful, because it’s not only educational, but also shows children that science and dinosaurs and being accomplished isn’t just for one gender: anyone can love and do and be whatever they want to.

3) I Dissent: Ruth Bader Ginsberg Makes Her Mark written by Bebbie Levy and illustrated by Elizabeth Baddeley

This book is obviously a nonfiction biographical book about Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s life from childhood to present day. It’s illustrations are amazing, and it shows beautifully how Justice Ginsberg encountered lots of difficulties—social things like racism and sexism, but also things like the death of her mother and raising a family while going to law school and pursuing a career.

While it focuses a lot on the aspect of female empowerment, it really is a book about standing up for right and injustice in general too.

Even though it’s probably the wordiest of all the books I mention here, that is not at all a bad thing. It has a lot of historical information and even teaches children vocabulary (specifically the terms “dissent,” “concur,” “object,” “protest”—lots of legal and activist terms), and adults can easily find a way to communicate the ideas to young children. I read this to one of my students (a six-year-old girl), and I had to find ways to “shorten and simplify” it a bit for her attention span and understanding. But when I asked her what she learned from the book, she looked up at me, smiled and said through the gap in her mouth where her front teeth should be, “Girls can do ANYTHING.” So I’d say she got the point.

4) The Princess and the Pony written and illustrated by Kate Beaton

I go to the library literally every day for work, and a librarian approached me a few weeks ago and said, “Have you read The Princess and the Pony?” I am SO glad she suggested it, because it’s become one of my favorites.

The Princess and the Pony tells the story of Princess Pinecone, the smallest princess who wants desperately to be a big strong warrior. But Pinecone feels she is too “cute and cuddly.” “Warriors get fantastic birthday presents,” Beaton writes, “Things that make them feel like champions. Princess Pinecone got a lot of cozy sweaters. Warriors do not need cozy sweaters.” Pinecone tells EVERYONE she wants a strong warrior horse, but instead they give her a round little pony whose eyes sometimes look in two different directions, who eats things it shouldn’t, and farts way too much (not kidding, that’s in the book).

Pinecone tries hard to teach her pony to be a warrior horse, but the little horse just can’t quite get it; nevertheless, she enters a battle and hopes for the best. But instead of fighting and being “awful brutes,” the other warriors fall in love with Princess Pinecone’s cute little pony. They all stop fighting and gush over how cute the pony is. (My favorite is when Huge Harold, who also has eyes that sometimes look in two different directions, exclaims, “Aw, he looks a bit like me!”) When Pinecone says, “This is not how a battle usually goes!” another warrior responds, “You’re right, but we warriors don’t often get to show our cuddly sides.”

Pinecone realizes she can help them get in touch with their cute and cuddly sides, and all of the warriors work together and learn that being a strong warrior doesn’t mean you have to always be “very big and very tough.”

I love this book for a lot of reasons. First of all, this book is HILARIOUS. The illustrations are colorful and well-drawn and comical (especially the pony), and the details in the story itself are so funny. But I also love the subtle representation it offers. For example, Princess Pinecone’s parents are clearly drawn as an interracial couple: her mother has dark hair, skin, and eyes while her dad has light skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. Pinecone herself is a mix of the two with dark eyes like her mother’s, blonde hair like her father’s, and skin that is a shade in between the two. The warriors themselves are all different shapes, sizes, and colors (in fact, in one illustration, there is a dark-skinned, female warrior in hijab subtly included in the fight). Even Harold’s little remark about how the pony “looks kinda like me” is representation—Harold sees a unique (not bad or funny, but unique) aspect of himself in a way perhaps he’s never seen himself before.

Another thing I love about this book is that unlike the princess in McKenzie’s book or Kimmy in Dinosaur Expert or even the great Ruth Bader Ginsberg herself encountered, there isn’t a clear outside force here: no one tells Pinecone she can’t be a warrior. Her parents support her completely, the warriors never question or make fun of her. The battle Pinecone struggles with is in herself. She thinks she is too small. She thinks she is too “cute and cuddly.” She thinks warriors don’t have the things she has, like cozy sweaters and fat ponies. She thinks these things make her weak. The struggle in Pinecone being a warrior is not one with the world outside of her: it’s an internal struggle with her own self-doubts.

Thankfully, Pinecone learns that warriors don’t have to be what she thinks. And, the other warriors learn this too. They all think that warriors have to be “a bunch of brutes,” as Beaton describes them. They (Pinecone included) think warriors have be tough and rough and always fight in some type of battle. But through Princess Pinecone’s silly little pony, warriors learn they can be cute and cuddly. Warriors can love cozy sweater and chubby ponies. Warriors can be small or big, male or female, and can appear rough or cute. And while I genuinely don’t believe there’s such thing as “girl and boy books” (all books are honestly for everyone), I do think another thing this book is especially good for disturbing the universe of toxic masculinity. It shows that to be strong, you don’t have to be a big tough brute who always fights angrily. It shows that it’s okay to be a warrior and be in touch with your “cuddly side.” It’s okay to wear a cozy sweater. It’s okay to gush over something that’s cute. It’s okay to feel. Through a story about a tiny princess and a farting pony, Beaton illustrates that being a warrior isn’t about your gender or your size or how many battles you partake in: it’s really just about being strong and accepting yourself just the way you are. And that’s a message that everyone needs to hear.

All of these books disturb the universe. These books make readers ask good questions. They cause readers to reevaluate their own ideas and the narrative around them. And they do it as children books. McKenzie’s sweet little princess helps us realize, “Hey, I don’t have to follow a set of rules and be perfect.” We learn along with Kimmy that girls can be scientists too (or whatever else they want). I Dissent shows that there is power in standing up to injustice and teaches toothless first graders “Girls can do ANYTHING.” And The Princess and the Pony shows that there is strength in both the tough and the tender. As I said earlier, these aren’t books just for children. These are messages and themes we all need to hear. All of us, regardless of our age, race, or gender should read these books and allow them to disturb our universe.

[dorothydelgadillo]

5 Characteristics of the Perfect Inbound Website

It's safe to say that most - if not all - businesses want a website that brings them perfectly packaged, highly qualified inbound leads. That is the most common goal we hear from our clients here at IMPACT, and why so many marketers pour hours of time and thousands of dollars into their websites.

So how do we achieve this goal? I’ll tell you, but first a quick story.

Last year as my son’s second birthday approached, I remember freaking out just a bit about what to do for his birthday party.

I have proudly attended many a toddler birthday party, and I think everyone has seen the ridiculously amazing pinterest birthday party ideas out there (all the moms out there know what I’m talking about). The over-the-top, no-way-is-it-DIY, must-cost-thousands-of-dollars type of parties have apparently coined a real term called “pinterest stress”.

Meanwhile, I fail just trying to glue two popsicle sticks together.

So, needless to say, I was stressing just a little bit about what to do for his birthday. Then a realization struck! My son was turning TWO. He could care less about decorations and party themes. His favorite things were sugar, rolling in mud, chasing our chickens, and playing “dinosaur” with his friends.

So I stopped everything. I gave myself a virtual slap in the face and reminded myself that his birthday party was for HIM and not for anyone else.

I made a perfect toddler party, and NONE of it was pinterest-worthy, but my son thought it was the most perfect day in existence. I made banana bread instead of cake, we dug holes in the backyard, the kids held monster truck toy races, and the adults drank mimosas (because let’s face it, some of the party is for the adults 😉😏).

Ok, so why am I talking about toddler parties?

It’s simple really.

As businesses, we suffer from the exact same problem when it comes to our websites. We have a really hard time getting over our pride and remembering that our websites aren’t for US, they are for OUR CUSTOMERS.

I was spending all of my energy focusing on how I could make everyone else think I was a great mom by throwing a picture-perfect party when I should have simply been focusing on how I could throw the perfect party for my son so HE thought I was a great mom.

There is a huge difference between those two goals.

Similarly, the way to build the perfect inbound website that generates the results you want is to stop focusing on your own ego and start thinking about who our website is really for.

There are 5 key characteristics to a great inbound website that will take your marketing results to the next level.

1. Customer Friendly

Duh, right? Isn’t this what I just said?

There are lots of ways you can make your website more friendly for your customers that you might not be doing right now, but you should be obsessing over how to make your website more customer friendly on a daily basis.

Did you know that 70% of the buying decision is typically made by a consumer before they ever speak to a sales rep or go to purchase a product? This means most of the purchase process is totally out of your direct control.

Nonetheless, there ARE ways to guide that first 70% of the conversation.

The number one reason people choose to buy - from any business - is based on trust. So not only do you have to make sure your prospects trust you before they will buy, but you have to figure out how to build that trust during the 70% of the buying process that happens before you even talk to them.

Whew, that is a lot to ask of your website!

Luckily, there are a few simple rules that you can follow to do just that.

Focus on Providing Value: Every page and every word on your website should be there because it provides value to your audience. Your website visitors don’t want a bunch of fluff. Give them real value and educate them in exchange for the time they’ve spent reading the words on your page. Providing value is the first step in building the trust you need oh so badly.

Answer their Questions: Answer the REAL questions your audience has. Don’t shy away from the topics that most businesses are afraid to talk about like pricing or your competitors. Really focus on making sure you are thinking like a customer and answer every question you know they will ask you in the sales process. And here’s the most important part: make sure you answer it honestly. You can’t build trust based on lies.

Use Video: People don’t buy from businesses, they buy from people. Video is the number one way to build trust with your audience and humanize your brand. In today’s environment, incorporating video on your website is table stakes if you want to see measurable, lasting results. There are 7 types of videos that every website must have: 80% videos, bio videos for your team, product or service videos, landing page videos, customer journey videos, videos about the claims you make as a brand, and a video that details who you are not a good fit for (yes, seriously).

Make the Customer the Hero: As one of my favorite country songs so aptly reminds us, our website visitors want us to talk about them, not ourselves. Use “you” statements in your content rather than “us” or “we” statements as often as possible. Customers want to see themselves in your website, not you.

2. Searcher (and Search Engine) Friendly

The next group you need to be really chummy with are search engines. They are the ones who bring the customers to your website. Luckily it is really easy to be friends with them because they have the same goal as you: providing value to your customer.

To get Google and the other search engines to send lots and lots of visitors to your website, focus on providing value. (Good thing we already covered all that up in the previous section.)

With that taken care of, there are some ways that you can now structure the value you provide in order to help Google more easily understand who they should be sending your way.

You are already doing a great job of writing valuable, educational content for your audience, right? Now all you have to do is make sure you are using the right keywords and organizing your content into clusters, grouped by topic area, to help Google understand where your expertise lies.

Learn more about how to do this exceptionally well from, keyword research to content execution, with our comprehensive guide.

Some of the other factors that Google looks at in order to determine how much value your website is providing are:

User Engagement: Google looks really closely at how your current visitors are interacting with your website as a strong indicator of how happy other visitors they send your way will be. It does this using metrics like Time on Site and Page Depth. The idea is that if people are spending a lot of time on your website and navigating through multiple pages, they are likely finding lots of valuable content and are happy with their experience.

Content Freshness: The frequency with which your website is updated is also a big factor in Google’s ranking. The idea here is that newer content is most likely more relevant to potential visitors than older content, and the longer you’ve been regularly producing content, the more likely it is that you are a valuable source of information. Thus, having a good balance of a domain that has been around for a while and plenty of regularly updated, fresh content is the perfect mix.

And, lastly, Google really cares that your users are having a positive experience with your website regardless of what device (mobile, desktop, etc.) they are visiting from. In order to ensure that Google knows your visitors will be happy, there are some Technical SEO basics you should focus on:

Website Load Speed: Google cares a lot about how fast your website loads because it knows that users are impatient and will get frustrated by things that take too long. As a result, it is less likely to send traffic your way if your website takes too long to give them information. You can test your website using www.webpagetest.org to see how quickly your site loads. Ideally, it should be under 2 seconds.

Mobile First and Responsive Design: More and more users are visiting websites from mobile devices, so Google has been cracking down hard on websites that have poor mobile user experiences. Make sure your user experience is flawless on any device to steer clear of problems here.

Site Security: SSL certificates are no longer negotiable. Not only do website visitors expect them at this point, Google will seriously ding you for not having one. So just get one, please.

3. Experience Friendly

This characteristic goes hand-in-hand with being customer friendly, but it deserves it’s own category because it is so important. Treat users that come to your website like you would customers in a store.

I know when I go to a store with my toddler in tow (maybe to buy birthday party supplies), I want to be able to find what I need as fast as possible, and with as little effort as possible.

Your website visitors want the same thing.

Make it as easy as possible for them to find the thing they want with the least amount of effort on their part.

Make sure the entire experience is built to delight them from start to finish. The design of the website should speak to what they like (again, not what you like). My toddler’s design aesthetic is very different than my grandmother’s. Anything I’d design for them would be wildly different from each other, and wildly different than what I personally like.

To provide the simplest experience and avoid overwhelming your visitors, make sure your website is free of clutter and doesn’t provide the them with too many options at any one moment. Create an experience that is familiar to them while finding small, pointed ways to inject uniqueness where it makes sense.

A good goal to keep in mind is to structure your site in a way that requires the user to make the least number of clicks to get to their goal. Then, structure and design your menus and individual pages to that end.

4. Conversion Friendly

If you're like most businesses, the end goal of your website is probably to drive revenue. To do that, it has to support a solid conversion rate of anonymous visitors into known contacts.

The best ways to ensure that your website can become a conversion machine are to ensure your sales team views the website as the most valuable resource they have and your website visitors have very easy ways of self identifying as prospects.

To make your website a valuable sales tool, all you have to do is answer the questions that your reps answer in the sales process on the site itself.

Oh wait, we already did this in the “providing value” stuff we talked about earlier! You’ve already covered this one - now, just make sure your sales team knows where to find it all.

Here is an example of the Sales Content Directory that our Content Manager, Liz Murphy, keeps updated for our sales team on a weekly basis. It gives them a one-stop shop to search for helpful resources to send to prospects.

What is better than having our customers tell us they want to buy instead of us having to try and convince them? Nothing is better. That is the holy grail of website results. So how do we get it?

A self selection tool is the best way to help your website visitors feel like they are getting a customized experience, and it allows them to do all the work for you.

Tools that allow users to customize options, select features that fit their needs, or even do all of the qualification your sales team needs without the help of an actual sales person are the best way to do this. Done right, your customer is happy because they got exactly what they wanted, and your sales team is happy because they don’t have to do any work to close a deal anymore!

If you want to see a great example of what I'm talking about, check out the Wix.com website. It has one of the better self configuration tools we've seen (and it's pretty fun to play with!).

5. Marketer Friendly

Ok, we are finally ready to talk about you instead of your customer.

Given everything we’ve already said about how your website is for your customer and not for you, there is one small caveat we have to talk about.

If your website is a hassle to update, maintain or change, how often are you going to do it? Be really honest, now.

Probably almost never, right?

So, for your website to do all the great things we talked about above, it should be really easy and user friendly to maintain so that you will actually maintain it.

What do I mean by this? The backend of your website should be intuitive and flexible, allowing for easy page creation, content updates and structure changes. The best way to do this is by building your website on a content management system (CMS).

Some of the most common CMSs that are reasonably priced and allow for the flexibility mentioned above are:

HubSpot CMS

WordPress

WooCommerce

Shopify

The most beautiful, custom coded website in the world that never gets updated with new content will never provide you the results you want. Instead, find the right place on the spectrum from super custom to super flexible to ensure you will update your website regularly and produce content consistently.

Final Thoughts

Your website is the face your company shows the world. Make sure it represents what your customers want to see, allows them to find what they want quickly and easily, and provides them so much value that they can’t help but trust you.

Do all these things, and I promise, your website will provide you results.

For one day, my son thought I was greatest mom in the world when I threw him the perfect party. Allow your website to give that feeling to your customers and they will keep coming back for more.

from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/5-characteristics-of-the-perfect-inbound-website

[lxlipetals]

starter meme/list - tfln edition.

[MSG]: His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob.

[MSG]: Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?

[MSG]: Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.

[MSG]: He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.

[MSG]: YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.

[MSG]: So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...

[MSG]: The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.

[MSG]: Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test.

[MSG]: Do me a solid and hit me with your car.

[MSG]: The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka.

[MSG]: As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"

[MSG]: I don't think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.

[MSG]: I don't call her my roommate, that's too cordial. I prefer to refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me.

[MSG]: Why does every poor decision I make end up with over 1000 likes on YouTube?

[MSG]: Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records.

[MSG]: How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?

[MSG]: I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.

[MSG]: She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.

[MSG]: My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.

[MSG]: Okay, just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.

[MSG]: At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?

[MSG]: I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now.

[MSG]: You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time.

[MSG]: Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex.

[Text]: Dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate.

[Text]: My girlfriend/boyfriend/partner went down on me and as she/he/they did she/he/they hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

[Text]: Why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

[Text]: I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife

[Text]: Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".

[Text]: You got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'

[Text]: A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

[Text]: So, apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tan line shaped like your sister/brother.

[Text]: WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH.

[Text]: Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!

[Text]: So his/her mom/dad walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him/her off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"

[Text]: We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature.

[Text]: If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.

[Text]: Dude. I've never been with a guy/girl who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.

[Text]: Apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him/her...

[Text]: Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.

[Text]: I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way.

[Text]: We are all done wearing pants today.

[Text]: So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.

[Text]: I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.

[Text]: I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozzarella sticks.

[Text]: If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.

[Text]: Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?

[Text]: After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.

[Text]: I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.

credit.