#maybe he starts showing up to events togeth- oh that’s already happening (logan’s wake)

[swaystar]

ok so the nero/sporus tale goes:

nero pushed his wife down the stairs

he castrated sporus

he married him + gave him a ring

he dressed sporus up in his dead wife’s clothes

so we know that 1 happened; if u wanted to be meta you could argue that 2 is tom getting bridget randomfuck kicked out of logan’s party/making greg tell logan about his “sex tape” (i will forever hc that tom totally fucking lied about the cameras but i digress)

since the versions of 1 + 2 that happened are metaphorical rather than literal, i think 3 + 4 would be too… and i wonder what they’d be

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Gibbous Chapter 9

Chapter Title: The Thought of Fresh Meat Is Making Me Ill

Summary:  It was October. A month full of cheer for the macabre. A month where humans gleefully wore the skins of those they saw as monsters. A month that Virgil generally enjoyed. It was the one month out of the year where he felt the most alive. Yet somehow, for this year’s October, he felt dead inside. Like his body had turned into the rotting corpse of a zombie and his soul was somehow still trapped inside.

Pairings: platonic lamp & platonic sleepxiety

Chapter Word-Count: 5503

Warnings:  Verbal/Emotional Abuse, Anxiety, Depression, Paranoia, Arguing, Disassociation, Sensory Overload (Yeah this one isn't gonna be a particularly happy one, Virgil Is Spiraling Mentally Big Time)

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Surprise b*tch, bet you thought you saw the last of me! I'm back for my yearly update--this chapter is dedicated to all the lovely comments people have left on previous chapter! Also!! I rewrote a significant amount of Crescent Chapter 3 and added onto Gibbous Chapter 5, the latter you might want to reread as it adds a bit to the opening scene of this chapter.

Chapter title taken from "I know I'm a Wolf" from the Young Heretics!

-

In books, there was always a perfect, logical sense of progression. Stories were generally told in a three-act structure. The setup, the midpoint and the resolution. The beginning of a story established the protagonist to the reader. It gave you details about their personality, their way of living, their wants and desires. Then the protagonist found themselves upended by an inciting incident.

Something that caused their way of living to never again be the same. Tension grew and grew as they sought to come about a way to continue living. Until it reached a climax, one where after which, they either thrived or withered away. In which case, the story ended as the protagonist returned to a new sense of normalcy.

One that would last until the next inciting incident came along to shake up their world once again.

Once one found this pattern, it was hard to ever see stories the same way again. There were certain things to always expect—things you could decipher before the story’s end. Real life, however, wasn’t quite like that.

Or at least this was what Logan had come to find. Sure, in many ways events in life played out like stories. There was an inciting incident, something that arose tension as one sought to solve the dilemma. It just wasn’t as neatly bound together like a story or even a math equation. Life was messy, complicated—it threw in plot twists or details that critics would claim lazy and unbelievable.

Logan was harshly reminded of this in the case of one Virgil Raine. He couldn’t understand—he was doing everything right, remaining patient and giving Virgil a chance to open up to Logan on his own time. Yet the human shied further and further away, all development he made since working at the library immediately erased. Virgil even shut out all notions of spending time outside work without explanation. It’d been weeks at this point with no result despite the attempts of Logan, Patton and even Remy, who was arguably the closet with Virgil.

Perhaps this was something that should be expected. Virgil rarely spoke about his past, but what little he shared, he had to fend mostly for his own from a young age. Whoever hurt Virgil caused him to believe again he couldn't rely on anyone but himself.

Logan was not a particularly violent person. He'd been ignorantly cruel once upon a time, yes, but even back then he wasn't one to have the urge to kill people. The wolfish part of him begged to differ, as always. His instincts howled at him to find that person and tear them limb to limb. Better yet, they demanded he snatch Virgil away and bring him against his will to the pack, to safety. As much as Logan wanted this, logically he knew Virgil might never fully trust Patton or himself ever again despite their good intentions. Illogically, he couldn’t bring himself to do the one thing he swore he’d never do again, even if it was for Virgil's safety.

He pondered this, sitting in front of a mountain of paperwork. It was late, too late for him to still be at the library. He couldn’t bring himself to move from his desk, not until he figured something out. He gnashed sharpened teeth in agitation, gripping his hair with claw-like fingernails. It didn't help that normally this time of the month, his cognitive thinking skills were usually in a different state of being. If he wasn't careful, the cleaning staff might find a wolf rampant in the library the next morning.

His phone rang just then, some meme-related ringtone Roman picked out that he’d found funny. Logan snatched it up and answered it.

“Patton, listen, I will be home soon I am just finishing up—”

“I’m not Patton,” The person on the other line cut in, “It’s me, Remy.”

“Oh,” Logan cleared his throat, thrown off by this revelation, “is something the matter?”

“Yeah, something’s the matter alright,” Remy said, his voice hoarse, “I fucked up big time with Virgil.”

 -

It was October. A month full of cheer for the macabre. A month where humans gleefully wore the skins of those they saw as monsters. A month that Virgil generally enjoyed. It was the one month out of the year where he felt the most alive. Yet somehow, for this year’s October, he felt dead inside. Like his body had turned into the rotting corpse of a zombie and his soul was somehow still trapped inside.

He supposed it had something to do with how September slipped from his fingers much in the way that his phone slipped from Jerad’s fingers. Falling all the way down, down, down, breaking upon the asphalt below into a million tiny pieces. Tried as he might, the memory haunted him in the waking world as well as his dreams.

 Only, in his dreams, sometimes it was him that fell to the ground. Like a shoddy version of Humpty Dumpty. Remy, Patton and Logan would try to fix him to no avail. They’d always leave, scoffing that it wasn’t worth it. He couldn’t cry or reach out towards them, begging for them to return. He could only lay there, broken and bleeding, watching as they abandoned him. Sometimes Roman showed up to gloat, mocking him for thinking they ever cared for him.

The worst thing about it? He knew it was going to happen in real life. It was only a matter of time. Even Jerad knew this.

“C’mon, you really want to hang out with them and not me, your friend?” Jerad scoffed, “what have they done for you? Have they helped out you when you couldn’t pay rent? Replaced your shitty phone for the best smartphone out there?”

“Well no but—”

“Face it, V-Man, they’re using you. They set you up with a new job, making you beholden to them and it’s sickening! They don’t actually care about you. Once they’ve had their fun jerking you around, they’ll just throw you out with the garbage. And I don’t want you coming to me, bawling like a baby, when it happens!”

As much as Jerad was a jerk, Virgil knew deep down he was right. He’d been so ecstatic at their displays of friendship, he didn’t even stop to consider it was all a façade. Maybe they themselves thought it was real, that they actually cared for him. But eventually they’ll realize the truth. That he’s a loser and nothing more.

Or maybe they already knew the truth and were merely toying with him. Virgil was just a human, mortal through and through. Remy, Patton and Logan were all near-immortal, unkillable save a well-placed piece of silver and a stake of wood in Remy’s case. At least with Jerad, he was honest. He knew Virgil was a loser and made it clear he only hung out with Virgil because it was better than nothing.

Jerad had been nice to Virgil lately—or nice as Jerad could be at least. He’d insisted on occasionally giving Virgil rides to and from work. An offer Virgil couldn’t refuse—no matter how hard his heart thudded against his chest with Jerad’s sharp swerves and his blaring car radio. He taken to asking about Virgil’s day even, asking where he’d been and what he’d been doing. He even took Virgil out to bars and clubs in an attempt to get him to loosen up.

Virgil wanted to tell him he’d rather set himself on fire than willingly enter a noisy nightclub. However every time his lips went to form those words, he found himself saying yes always. So that was how he found himself dissociating in a noisy nightclub, holding onto a pink-colored alcoholic beverage he faked taking a sip from.

A hand knocked jokingly against his forehead. “Yo, Virgin!”

Virgil blinked, his gaze blearily onto Jerad. It was hard to concentrate with all the flashing lights and loud music. He wanted to crawl underneath his beloved purple fleece blanket in his dark, silent bedroom and never leave. But he couldn’t leave just yet. Jerad had been nice to take him along to the club. If he’d asked leave now, he’d get upset. He knew eventually Jerad would get upset at him for something, but he preferred to delay that as long as possible.

“Yeah?” Virgil mumbled, curling his fingers tighter around the alcoholic drink that had been hoisted upon him. Jerad knew he didn’t like alcohol—it was something he ridiculed Virgil about constantly. He always insisted on Virgil drinking, saying he’d stop being a pussy and man up eventually about it.

“Are you high or something? You looked like you were seeing into the third dimension or something.”

Virgil shrugged. Jerad laughed at that, patting him on the back. Virgil tensed from each thud of Jerad’s hand, but he did not flinch or move away. It was a friendly gesture on Jerad’s part. If he wanted to really hurt Virgil, he would’ve put more force behind it.

“Probably not! You’re too much of an anxious wimp,” Jerad said, downing the contents of his drink, “but let me know if you ever get man enough to try it—your good friend Jerad has connections.”

“Okay.” Virgil said, his voice sounding far off in the distance to his own ears.

Jerad laughed again, and then started rambling about something probably among the lines of his most recent hookup, his parents being jerks for not giving him a new sports car or the latest college professor he deemed a complete idiot. Virgil stared at him, nodding all the right moments yet barely processed any of the words being directed his way.

 Even with lungs filled with air and a warm beating heart, Virgil felt nothing. He was nothing. A worthless sentient waste of space. Like an ugly mutt nobody wanted that should be euthanized to end its miserable existence.

His phone—the replacement one Jerad gave him—vibrated in his pocket. A text, no doubt from one of the others. The fourth one this night. Virgil’s hand twitched, refraining from looking at it in the presence of Jerad. Virgil didn’t feel like losing a second phone within a month of the first.

“Um, hey,” Virgil interrupted, wincing, “I gotta go use the bathroom, is that alright?”

“’Is that alright?’” Jerad mimicked in a high pitch tone, “Dude, is this elementary school or something? You want a hall pass? Me to hold your hand the whole way there?”

Virgil stared at him.

Jerad rolled his eyes, “Go ahead, whatever. I don’t care if you take a dump, just be quick with it.”

“Thanks.” Virgil bit out, running off before Jerad could change his mind.

He twisted and pivoted around the crowd of sweaty, glistening bodies wearing skimpy clothing. The bright neon lights and loud music warped around him like something out of a nightmare. Eventually he made it to the restrooms and locked himself in the nearest stall. The pulse of his heart roaring in his ears, he drew the phone of his pocket.

Four New Text Notifications from Patton

Patton: [Image of a black cat that looked approximately a year old. It appeared to be nestled close to Patton’s chest, staring up at the camera in wide-eyed stare.]

Patton: Look at what I found on my evening walk! Isn’t she the cutest??

Patton: I’m trying to convince Logan to let me keep her. Maybe you can come visit tomorrow and meet her??

Patton: It’s ok if not! I know you’ve been busy and I want to let you know I’m here for you, you can come to me about anything okay?

Virgil’s vision blurred a bit. He didn’t understand it. Why hadn’t Patton given up already? It’s been weeks since he’s sent Patton a text. He’d been terrified, too, really. And in the few times he ran into Patton at the library, he made excuses and scurried the other way.

Logan was at least kind enough to exchange a few pleasantries and keep their verbal interactions work-oriented. And Remy? They still delved deep into discussions about their taste in music but there was an awkward unspoken agreement not to bring up what happened that one morning. Virgil also shied from hanging outside of work, hoping Remy would eventually forget about him. It seemed to be working; Remy hadn’t offered to hang out in about a week or so.

But Patton? Patton seemed determined to stay in contact with Virgil, sending his dumb silly memes and cute animal videos. He sent good morning and good night texts, while making sure Virgil knew he could respond to them on his own time. On one hand, it made sense—this was the same Patton who saved a complete stranger’s life for literally no reason. On the other hand, he wished Patton would give up. It would made things easier, make it hurt less for everyone.

His phone buzzed with a new text notification.

Jerad: Dude, did you fall in or something?

Virgil swallowed, wiping away any stupid tears running down his face. As he typed a response to Jerad with shaky hands, the bathroom door slammed open, banging against the wall. He almost dropped his phone in the process, silently cursing at how close he’d been to breaking yet another phone.

Several loud booming voices filled the bathroom, peppered with obnoxious laughter every half second. Virgil shut his eyes, resisting the urge to cover his ears also in the process. The noise was too much. It was too much in the club outside, but all those voices echoing off the small crammed walls of the bathroom made Virgil want to scream.

The door creaked open yet again, the voices venturing away from Virgil. Good, they were leaving so Virgil could finally self-destruct in peace. Or so he thought, as a set of footsteps stopped abruptly, wavering. The club music blasted from the doorway, drowning out whatever discussion took place.

Then the door swung shut, the roaring club music muted once more. Virgil waited, breath catching in his throat as the single set of footsteps took a couple strides towards him. Oh god, this was how he was going to die, wasn’t he? This was probably some serial killer with an obsession of killing people in night club restrooms.

This was, of course, the moment his phone started vibrating in his hand. A call. Someone was calling him in the final moments of his life. Virgil looked down at the caller id; Remy. His heartrate spiked, dancing so painfully close to what a heart attack must feel like. Why was Remy calling him? Was he at last going to tell him he was done with Virgil forever?

Virgil almost wanted to ignore the call. But then he glanced at the black boots hovering near his stall and gave it a second thought. If this was going to be how his life ended, it’d probably be best to say goodbye to someone at least. Sucking a breath in, he pressed the green phone icon and held the phone to his ears.

“Hi?” He whispered.

“Hey Virgil,” Remy said, echoing oddly in Virgil’s ears, “what are you up to tonight?”

Virgil glanced down at the black boots menacingly close to his stall, “Umm, I’m just home, chilling.”

“That’s a lie, Hon. I know you’re hiding in a stall of this bathroom.”

“W-what are you talking about?” Virgil couldn’t breathe.

Remy sighed, sounding so similar to the person outside the stall, “Please, let’s talk face to face, alright?”

This was some sort of trick to lure him out of the stall, wasn’t it? Still, with the hand not clutching tightly to his phone, he reached out and unlatched the stall door.

Remy stood there, expression hidden under his black shades. His hair was slicked back with gel, shimmering with a glitter of some sort. He wore his iconic black leather jacket with a black crop top underneath. His whole outfit was black, in fact, down to his ripped jeans and the ankle-length boots. Virgil had seen him wear something similar before to a college event he’d taken Virgil to.

“W-what are you doing here?” Virgil demanded.

“I could ask you the same,” Remy responded, eyebrows raised above his shades, “this isn’t your scene, Virge. What are you doing here?”

“I’m not answering unless you answer.” Virgil said, trying to ignore how much he sounded like a toddler.

“A few of my homies from the art program wanted to celebrate the end of mid-terms. This is the night club most of the college body hangs at.” Remy crossed his arms.

“And how did you know I was in here?”

“A few keen observations,” Remy mustered a thin smile. He tapped his nose for emphasis before drawing his finger close to his lips. Virgil’s eyes widened in understanding. Vampire senses, then. “But mostly, I’d recognize those faded converse of yours anywhere.”

“O-oh.”

“I answered your question, now it’s your turn, Virge.”

“I…” Virgil said, the rest of his words strangled in his throat. His phone buzzed in his hand; another impatient text from Jerad no doubt. He didn’t bother to look at it, choosing to focus on taking a breath in rather than going unconscious from a lack of oxygen.

He could tell Remy the truth. That he’d gone with Jerad—his roommate whom he used to complain to Remy about all the time. But then Remy would ask why he was with Jerad and then—well. Then Virgil would have tell him what happened the time he found him the night his phone broke and well, Virgil wasn’t ready for that. He couldn’t tell Remy about his humiliating mistake.

“I…went here to have a good time completely by myself.” Virgil withheld himself from wincing because wow that didn’t sound weird or suspicious in the slightest, “So you can go catch up with your friends or whatever, I’m good hanging out right here.”

“Right here, in the restroom?”

“Yeah.”

“Honey,” Remy said, his voice washed with some emotion Virgil couldn’t identify, “Let’s ditch this shithole and go somewhere else.”

“W-what—but your friends—” Virgil stammered.

“—will be fine without me. N-G-L they’ll probably too trying to give themselves alcohol poison even realize I’m gone,” Remy shrugged his shoulders, “besides, you don’t seem as gucci as you say you are in here and it’s been a while since we really hung out hung out, y’know?”

Virgil stubbornly directed his gaze away from Remy, jaw tightening. It had to be okay, didn’t it? Jerad was most likely to get too drunk to even coherent colors, let alone that Virgil slipped off without him. Maybe he wouldn’t be mad. Maybe he wouldn’t fly into a rage and come close to hanging him off a balcony. Besides Remy would be even more suspicious if he said no.

Virgil sighed, holding the home button on the phone until it shut off completely. That way he wouldn’t have to deal with Jerad calling him, demanding to know where he’d disappear off to, despite ditching Virgil all the time without warning.

“Alright, fine.”

Remy smiled, his teeth looking a little too sharp for Virgil’s liking. Wordlessly he turned aside and reached for the bathroom door.

Virgil swallowed, shoving the phone in his pocket to be forgotten about. Tried as he might, he still flinched as lively blare of the club’s music and flashing lights greeted him with full force. He froze, cowering before the threshold of the door. A hand landed on his shoulder, soft and gentle.

“Virgil?” Remy asked, his brows furrowing together.

Molten lava settled in the pit of Virgil’s stomach—pity. That was the expression on Remy’s face he couldn’t identify at first. He didn’t want pity; Virgil knew what pity meant. He didn’t want pity of any kind, it reminded him too much of the foster parents that looked at him like he was some feral dog that could be whipped into obedience. And sure, Remy had never hurt him but it didn’t mean Virgil forgotten about that morning spent at Remy’s dorm a month back.

Eyes lit up with a burning, controlled fire. Words hissed through a clenching jaw, “Tell me their name and I’ll beat them up for you.”

If Remy was willing to hurt who he deemed as threats to Virgil, who’s to say he wouldn’t be willing to hurt Virgil? To reprimand Virgil, to let him know how much of an idiot he was being? It sounded absurd, even now, because he’d known Remy for almost a year. Remy had plenty opportunities up to now to do something and hadn’t. Yet he was a vampire; years were nothing to him. He had plenty of time to wait for Virgil to slip up in some way and make his irritation known.

And Virgil knew by now to expect the other shoe to drop in a relationship—it was why he distanced himself, isolated himself to solely to work and his cramped little room at the apartment. He was foolish to believe Remy, Patton and Logan were different. Logan and Patton especially—what was he thinking? Patton saved him, sure, but Logan had been hellbent on locking him in their basement for the eternity of time. Why had ever he allowed himself to accept their apologies, to believe something was going right in his life for once?

“I’m fine.” Virgil snarled, shoving himself forward. It was like marching into a warzone, the music assaulted his ears and rattled uncomfortably against his chest cavity. He grimaced, keeping his eyes towards the floor, away from the flashing lights. He stopped a bit before the ocean of bodies that stood between them and the entrance.

He knew if he looked up, he could make out the back of Jerad’s shirt from his spot at the bar. Stupid, this was so stupid. Why had he allowed himself to get talk into this by Remy? There was no doubt in his mind that Jerad would catch him trying to leave and rightfully demand why he was ditching him for Remy. It was a shit thing to do, after all.

Friends don’t ditch one another without explanation. Jerad left him, sure, but he always had an explanation after the fact. Virgil didn’t think Jerad would like his explanation very much. Especially when it involved Remy, one of the people Jerad had been trying to warn him about.

A hand gracefully looped itself around one of his own, tugging him off to the side rather than through the crowd. Virgil looked to see Remy guiding them towards a set of doors, ones clearly marked for employees only.

“Remy—”

“Shhh, this is a faster way outta here, trust me.” He said, flashing a smile. Perhaps it was meant to be comforting but for Virgil it only caused his stomach to churn.

Right before they made it to the doors, an employee materialized in front of them. “Excuse me, sirs, you’re not allowed back here—”

“Cindy, gurl, remember me, Lansing? Worked here last summer? Do you remember, yeah?” Remy lowered his shades to take a look at her. Virgil peered behind him, unable to view Remy’s face. He could see Cindy’s face, however. Her face pinched up in confusion, frowning, before abruptly smoothening out with a wide grin stretched from ear-to-ear. She looked right at Remy, her gaze shifting entirely off of Virgil as if he no longer existed.

“Lansing, oh! Oh yes, I remember.” Cindy said, with a high-pitched laugh. Virgil shrunk further back into Remy’s shadow, squeezing Remy’s hand tightly. Something was wrong and he didn’t like it. Remy never mentioned working as a bartender—and that wasn’t quite something Remy would be quiet about. Virgil could just  picture the outrageous bartending stories he’d have if that was the case.

Remy laughed along with her, light and airy.

“Good, then can ya do a fellow former co-bartender a favor and let us slip through, just this once?”

“Gurl, of course, just if you caught don’t let Gregory know I was the one that let you pass.” She leaned in conspiratorially, face twitching a bit.

“Oh don’t worry, you won’t see us again, in fact forget that you even saw us. I’d love to stay and catch up, but I bet you have things to do.”

She laughed again at that. “Yes, of course. It was nice seeing you, Lansing, but I have to go.”

Cindy hurried off, quickly dissipating through the crowd. Virgil blinked; what the fuck? What the fuck was that—

He didn’t even have time to process the encounter before Remy led them into the dimly lit back hallway of the nightclub. Whether it was a faster way out of the nightclub was debatable. For all his talk about previously working there, Remy seemed just as lost as Virgil in the winding hallway. He led them one direction, only to immediately pivot down the other way.

Remy wasn’t talking. Remy was always talking endlessly, as if speaking was as vital as oxygen to him. He was terrible at whispering too—something Logan would get on him about at the library. That was why he was usually stuck on front desk duty to speak with patrons, helping out at events or doing organizational work in the back office. For Remy to be this silent, like the brooding calm before a storm, well. Virgil’s lungs wanted to seize up right then and there.

Eventually, they made to a door that opened out to an alleyway, right where the night club kept its dumpster. The moon gleamed from her perch in the sky, nearly full but not quite. Like a cookie with a bite taken out of it. Virgil knew there was terms for the different phases of the moon. His mother loved taking him out to see the night sky. She’d point out the constellations and tell him what phase the moon that night was.

He wished he could remember, for her sake, what they were. Considering he knew actual werewolves, you’d think he pay better attention to it. But it was a topic Virgil never felt brave enough to venture and one that neither Patton nor Logan opened up much on their own about.

He stared at the moon, transfixed, that he almost forgotten the reason he was outside in the first place. Not until Remy murmured something before attempting to lead him off somewhere. The gaping dread from moments prior seized hold of him once more.

“No!” Virgil snapped, yanking his hand out of Remy’s grip. He stumbled backwards a few steps, slamming himself into a wall of the building in the process.

“Virgil?” Remy asked, frowning as he took a step  forward.

“What the hell was that back there?”

“What do you mean—”

“Don’t act stupid!” Virgil demanded, taking a shaky breath, “That lady—Cindy—you did something, I—I don’t know, she was acting weird! And—and you were acting weird! So I’m asking again; What. The Hell. Was. That?”

Remy stared at him, his breath hitching, “Virgil, I was just trying to get you to a quiet place ASAP before you—”

“You’re still not answering the question.” Virgil cut in, his intestines tightening themselves into knots over it. Because maybe this was just a classic case of Virgil paranoia striking again. Maybe he really was driving himself into a panic attack over nothing. Maybe he was accusing Remy unjustly.

Yet, if that was the case why would Remy flinch if Virgil struck him physically with his words?

“Virgil,” Remy said slowly, “I need you not to panic and hear me out, ok?”

Virgil’s heartrate accelerated. Not panic, not panic?! What did Remy expect but for him to panic at those words?

“Okay.” Virgil said, definitely panicking.

“What have you’ve heard about vamps?”

“That they—you drink blood. And your reflection doesn’t show up in mirrors—and—and if you get bitten by a vampire, you’ll either turn into one or get mind controlled.”

“All technically true, well I mean—there’s a fuck-ton more to the turning process than that—” Remy cut himself off, “That’s beside the point. The point is, what you call mind-control, we call ‘enthralling.’ Enthralling is…”

“Is what?”

“Enthralling is, well. It’s a form of hypnosis. Anyone enthralled by a vampire is mostly aware of it and the least likely they are to follow a vampire’s suggestions, the more likely they are to fight against the hypnosis. And it can be activated through eye-contact which is what I did to Cindy.”

Virgil couldn’t breathe. Suddenly pieces were slotted together in mind, forming a picture Virgil never wanted to envision. That faint but visceral memory of Remy with red eyes, the natural charisma Remy held with anyone he met, how Remy managed to steal confidential information from Virgil’s employee file in the back office of Kirby’s Burgers—all of it. He thought Remy, out of anybody, was safe. Past his sassy, laidback exterior, Remy was honest, willing to speak his mind about anything and everything.

If Remy enthralled a complete stranger without blinking an eye—who’s to say he wasn’t above doing it to Virgil? Who’s to say he hadn’t enthralled Virgil into being his friend? Who’s to say Virgil wasn’t an oblivious mouse in a game of cat and mouse? Oh gods, this had just confirmed all of Virgil’s worst fears and more.

“Virgil—” Remy said, reaching out, his eyes hidden beneath his shades. He continued speaking, a mumble jumbo string of excuses probably. Virgil couldn’t stand to stay around and listen to it.

“Stop—just don’t—” Virgil stuttered, taking one step and then another towards the open sidewalk. What was just a few steps then became a few hundred until he found himself leaning against the door to the apartment, hands shaking to slot the key to unlock it.

A few more steps he was inside, the usual musty smell an unexpected comfort. He sat on the couch, seconds stretching into eternity. He half-expected Remy to have chased after him, demanding Virgil to listen, why couldn’t you just listen, you’re so stupid no wonder you’re pathetic—

Virgil blinked a few times, his eyes burning with some sort of irritation. For some reason, Remy let him go. He couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad thing. His head ached and so did his ears for some reason.

 Jerad entered the apartment a few millennia later. Virgil froze at the rattling doorknob, his hand clutching onto his phone in his pocket.

“There you are, you fucker!” Jerad drawled, stumbling over in a drunken stupor. His hand moved towards Virgil, but not with a closed fist. Instead he patted him on the back like earlier, “I can’t believe you did it! You finally got the balls to go and hook up with somebody! I guess I can’t call you Virgin, now huh?”

“Uh-huh,” Virgil murmured, not correcting him on that assumption. He sat there, a bit of tension draining from him. Jerad wasn’t mad for abandoning him. Jerad was still a jerk, but at least Virgil mostly knew what to expect of him. It wasn’t ideal, but that was life. It was better to deal with the devil you knew, then the devil you didn’t know. Virgil was stupid to have ever thought otherwise.

“My parents are being such dicks at the moment,” Jerad said, precipitously changing topics as per usual of him, “sometimes I wish I didn’t have to wait until they were dead to take my inheritance and do what I want to do, y’know?”

Virgil didn’t really know. Did his parents leave him money? They had to have had some sort of savings stashed away. A life insurance of some sort, right? It wasn’t like they were poor. He never thought about inquiring into that. Jerad accidentally slapped Virgil across the arm with a huge hand gesture, still ranting about something. Maybe it wasn’t an accidental hit.

Virgil didn’t know. His tether on reality felt weak, like a balloon close to floating away into the stratosphere. He almost wished he could float away, but the weight in his chest said otherwise. Jerad passed out not long after his rant, slumped half on the floor and half on the sofa. Virgil took this opportunity to slip into the comfort of his bedroom and turn on his cellphone once more.

 Seventeen new text notifications and five missed calls from Jerad greeted him, along with one new text notification from Logan. He clicked on Logan’s and his conversation, staring at Logan’s text at the bottom of it.

Logan: Virgil, Remy wanted me to inform you that he is taking a leave of absence from work. Please let me know if you need to take a leave of absence as well or need to confide in somebody as a friend, Patton or I would be happy to listen.

Virgil stared at it some more. Then he tapped out a short response, set the phone on the stool that was his makeshift nightstand and collapsed headfirst into his mattress. 

Virgil: K thanks, I’m fine

-

A/N: Hope everyone is doing well, if you enjoyed the chapter please consider leaving a comment--it's completely free and helps me out as a fanfic writer a ton! I'm technically not in the Sanders Sides fandom anymore, but I still have a lotta fondness for this fic and I will finish it, even if takes me ten years to do so :') -Kat

[magpiemorality]

alright. i have to get it asked. “roommates who never see each other because they work opposite shifts, but now they’re stuck in quarantine and w h o o p s you’re kind cute but also a lil bit of an asshole how long do we have to be quarantined?? oh nooooooo “ w any couple u want!! even a throuple!!!

It’s been a long time coming but here we go! With misunderstandings, pining, denial and a happy ending :D I considered splitting this into parts but it works best as a whole so here you go! 

Love In The Time Of Quarantine

3900 words on the dot. 

AO3

***

The quarantine was a bit of a bummer. It could’ve been worse, Logan reasoned, because he at least could work from home and keep busy, and he had never worried too much about getting out and being social. He was extraordinarily lucky to be exactly where he would have wanted to be for such an event, well-stocked, well-paid and comfortable.

Unfortunately the same could not be said for his housemates. There were three of them sharing the place, a three-bedroom apartment at the top of a tall block on the outskirts of the city centre. It was nice enough, paid for by three reasonable wages, and had trees and a little park visible from the windows. Logan mostly worked freelance as an IT specialist of all kinds; Patton was apparently a nanny who worked out of home a lot, he knew thanks to the single swift conversation they’d had when the guy had first moved in, caring for his charges at their own home a few blocks away; and Remus was… Logan actually wasn’t sure about him. He was out overnight, coming back early morning to sleep through the day, and didn’t seem to have any specific equipment or work clothing that gave any clues about his job.

In any case, with their contrasting hours and jobs the three of them hadn’t had much of a chance to chat at any point since moving in, and no one had been the first to take the first step in initiating contact. Everyone just cohabited peacefully and that was perfectly fine, suiting them all well enough. But with the quarantine? Things were already changing fast, and the previously calm, quiet and spacious apartment wasn’t going to remain all those things for much longer.

“Oh good morning, Logan!” Patton chirped at 6:00AM on the first Monday morning stuck at home, as Logan dragged himself into the kitchen for his wake up coffee. Logan blinked, staring at what seemed to be most of their food supplies laid out in an enormous breakfast on the kitchen table, everything very neatly arranged and cut into small, bite-sized pieces. “I made breakfast!”

“You, certainly did…” Logan agreed, a little weak with shock. “Aren’t we supposed to be conserving food, however?”

Patton blinked at him, his eyes going wide behind his glasses. He clapped a hand over his mouth with a gasp. Logan was surprised his eyes didn’t fill with glittery tears, honestly, with the drama of the rest of the display. “Oh gosh, you’re right! How could I forget?! Oh I’m so sorry, Logan, I’ll go out and replace everything right away, oh no-”

“N-no,” Logan said slowly. “No, Patton you’re not allowed out. That’s the whole point.”

“Not allowed out at all?!” Patton replied, aghast, incidentally summoning their third roommate with the commotion. As Logan tried to placate the inconsolable nanny, promising him that that was an exaggeration and he absolutely could go out but it really was better not to unless there was no other option; the mysterious Remus appeared in the kitchen doorway, rumpled from sleep and not wearing anything but a shirt and some novelty Thanksgiving turkey underwear. Boxers, thank goodness, but still covering no way near enough for what was almost appearing in public, considering how little they all knew each other.

At least the intrusion stopped Patton’s panic, Logan thought, clearing his throat loudly as Patton stared and turned darker and darker pink in the cheeks. Remus was already piling food into his arms (oh okay, they were quite nice arms actually, maybe Patton had the right idea) and mouth, and he didn’t react to Logan’s attempt to politely indicate to him that his behaviour was a little inappropriate. He just nodded and winked at a brightly blushing Patton, and carried his hoard away back to his room. Patton just quietly and heavily sat down at the kitchen table and started absentmindedly smearing cream cheese onto a bagel, and after a moment Logan joined him, silently reaching for the toast.

Well. That was. Hopefully not an indication of how things were going to be from now on. Hopefully. Please?

Unfortunately (or fortunately from some angles) Remus continued to not wear many clothes. It was a terrible problem that both Patton and Logan had strangely and somewhat awkwardly bonded over. The first time the nanny had muttered something profane under his breath as their partial-nudist housemate wandered away back to his room after another appearance in search of food, Logan had stared at him with his mouth hanging open, trying to process those words coming from that mouth. Patton had just sighed and rolled his eyes, folding his arms defensively. “Just because I work with children doesn’t mean I can’t have a good swear now and then, Logan. I mean, you’ve seen that man’s ass!”

Logan had, indeed, seen that man’s ass. It just so happened to be one of those more fortunate angles, and Remus still apparently had something against wearing pants.

Bonding over Remus’s (admittedly very nice) body notwithstanding; the two of them actually got along pretty well. Perhaps it was being used to not having much of a social life that meant they were very comfortable and happy to just hang out quietly together, with Patton sat down at the coffee table embroidering or working on some fan art he apparently had quite the talent for, and Logan reading on one of the couches nearby. He would’ve gone so far as to work out in the living area because Patton was fantastic company and great for his motivation, but the effort involved in moving his entire workstation and cables was beyond reason, and the constant risk of being utterly derailed in whatever he was doing by Remus sashaying past sort of outweighed the benefits of having Patton there. Logan still had to actually get his work done in order to earn a living, after all.

And Remus sashayed a lot. At first it had just been once in the morning and evening as he ended and started his day respectively, probably as a result of the long-term night shift pattern, Logan reckoned. But then as Remus continued to be unable to go back into work he evidently started moving his daily pattern around somewhat. Logan would hear him moving around longer after breakfast, and his music or the sound of whatever he was watching on his laptop (Logan didn’t particularly want to listen too closely but sometimes it was hard not to, having the room that shared a wall), would stop earlier in the night.

He started to strut around more and more often while they were up and out in the living areas, grabbing snacks or wandering around for a stretch, coming to ask Patton what he was doing and leaning far closer than was necessary as Patton blushed his way through an explanation, stammering whenever Remus complimented his work effusively. He was quite the flirt, was Remus, Logan could tell. The guy full on preened at the way Patton’s eyes followed him, and he seemed to take great delight in making the nanny sigh by stretching in just the right way. More than once Patton had pricked his finger with his needle by letting his gaze linger a second too long, or cursed under his breath as he messed up a line on his tablet.

Logan was unaffected of course. Except for the times he had ended up rereading the same page of his book over and over again until Remus was long gone and his brain came back into focus. But those didn’t count! They didn’t count, Patton, stop laughing.

But there was another issue with Remus; he was increasingly messy the more time he spent at home. Patton was pretty clean, used to tidying up after a pair of rambunctious under-tens, and Logan barely made any mess in the first place, eating what Patton cooked and helping clean the dishes afterwards, sticking to his carefully planned laundry routine and rarely deviating. But Remus was just made of mess. He dropped clothing around the bathroom; he left dishes and mugs around; he seemed to order stuff a lot despite the whole quarantine situation (Logan frequently tutted when yet another poor delivery person showed up) and there were piles of cardboard boxes building up in the entrance to their apartment.

When Remus peeled his sock off and scratched at his foot, one afternoon, Logan narrowed his eyes. When Remus got up, leaving it on the arm of the couch when he left to go to his bedroom, Logan finally decided he’d had enough.

“Remus!” He snapped, striding to his room and standing in the doorway before the door could close. Remus turned around with an innocent blink, opening his mouth to say something with a smirk, but Logan got there first. “Do you mind. We’re all having to live in this apartment together and keeping it tidy is important to both me and Patton!”

Remus tilted his head, his eyebrows rising swiftly at the lecture and his smirk dropping in surprise. Patton appeared behind Logan in the hallway, hovering uncertainly. “I reckon Patton can speak for himself, actually,” Remus muttered, folding his arms over his chest with what appeared to Logan to be an actual pout. On a grown man, who was clearly in the wrong. Honestly.

“Oh well, yes. I would like it if you could perhaps… just keep your clothes to your room?” Patton asked weakly. “After all, a tidy house is a tidy mind! We’ll feel a lot better in a clean environment. And… it is a little icky.”

“Fine,” Remus sighed. “I’ll keep it tidy, no more ‘icky’.” Logan nodded in satisfaction and turned to leave but Remus, damn him, had to have the last word, voice dripping with innocent earnestness. “You should’ve said something before if it meant so much to you, guys!”

Patton made a quick excuse Logan away before he could explode, and they both missed the soft sigh behind the door to Remus’s room as it closed.

To be fair to Remus, he was very tidy after that. Remarkably so, in fact, just like he had been before the quarantine had taken effect. Not so much in his room, from the glimpses Logan got inside, but certainly in the rest of the apartment. Annoyingly he’d also apparently taken the confrontation as a good enough first interaction to invite himself into hang out time, somehow not sensing the animosity that radiated from Logan anytime they were in the same room.

Sure, it was his apartment too, and he was equally stuck in it, and when he helped out with the cooking it often resulted in exciting and fun recipes, and he had great taste in movies, and he also brought his something or other console out to hook up to the TV so they could play multiplayer games (after another delivery of extra controllers, of course), but. But! Logan was still never not on edge around him. Remus just… rubbed him the wrong way.

Oh god, wrong word choice there.

Patton of course got on famously with their troublemaker within the space of a few days, and started up a fierce and ongoing online Monopoly game that it seemed no one could win. Perhaps it was his experience with children, Logan thought snidely to himself on more than one occasion. He would hear them laughing together and watch Remus’s hands creeping lower and lower on Patton’s back day by day as they playfully pushed and sat near to each other, until Logan decided to just start spending more time on his work to avoid the inevitable heart attack from how high his blood pressure must be getting. And anyway he’d really let work go, what with spending so much time with Patton instead of on his projects. Just because there was a world crisis going on didn’t mean he didn’t have rent to pay. If only!

But of course Patton didn’t get the memo that this was the best course of action, and quickly grew concerned for Logan’s well-being. He instated a nightly dinner for the three of them, that he deviously used his best pleading expression to get Logan to attend, where Remus was just insufferably flirty and Logan ended up increasingly annoyed at being constantly teased. It just wasn’t very nice of Remus to taunt him with false flattery and it didn’t help that Patton had apparently moved from being equally as flustered as Logan by their hot housemate to being sort of fondly amused, in a way that spoke of… a new intimacy.

It only added to Logan’s dislike of his housemate when he walked past Remus’s bedroom to see them standing close together in the centre of the room, heads tilted so he couldn’t see their faces. He could see other things though, like the way Patton’s hands gripped at Remus’s waist, and Remus’s hand in Patton’s hair.

So that just added the cherry on top of the whole perfect box of proof of why Remus sucked, basically. He had not only stolen Logan’s precious peaceful friendship with Patton, and lured away all of Patton’s soft and warming smiles, but apparently didn’t even value them enough to not openly flirt with Logan whenever they were in the same room. Logan wished desperately that he didn’t still feel that irritating modicum of attraction to the man, because he really was stellar at flirting and could be incredibly charming, but he resigned himself to burying those feelings along with the hurt at how Patton had chosen Remus over him. Burying them deep, and trying to go back to how things were, before the quarantine.

And if anyone could play polite and distant, it was Logan, poster boy for IT nerds everywhere. Antisocial was basically his speciality.

He hadn’t bet on Patton.

Patton was the type of person who really took 'mom friend’ to a whole new level, and only partly because his actual literal paid job was to essentially be a stand in parent. When Logan started to pull away again he yanked back, pouting and wheedling and playing really dirty until Logan started coming back out into the living room for reading breaks again, just to stop Patton from bringing him cups of water and snacks every half an hour 'to make sure he was feeling okay’. They both knew well enough that the ulterior motive was to stop Logan from isolating himself and playing the wounded martyr, and damn it if it didn’t work. Patton was a master of this game.

“Logan, what do you think of this flower?” Patton would ask if Logan ended up in the kitchen for coffee, drawing him into a conversation about his latest embroidery project.

“Logan! Could you pop the kettle on?” Patton would smile sweetly if Logan got up from the couch, intending to go back to his room at last, easily conning him into bringing two mugs back to the couch and then distracting him again until an hour had gone by and Logan was still sat with them.

“Oh there you are Logan, settle this for me, do these stars look realistic?” Patton would bat his eyelashes if Logan finished a bathroom break, and Logan would just sigh and give in, and Remus would stifle a snicker from his own spot on the couch. Remus had also evidently been coached by Patton because he was noticeably quieter and more reserved whenever Logan had finally tentatively settled in the living room with them. Which was a real improvement, if you asked Logan.

But he still wasn’t friends with Remus, and he refused to let that last barrier be breached, even when Remus sneakily tried to join his conversations or get him to pass something at dinner, or tease him about his hair, his clothes, his work… Remus was the worst and Logan could not be convinced otherwise. His plan of hiding away from his housemates had failed because he liked Patton enough to give in just to make him happy, not because Remus was reasonably good company when he was just lounging on the couch and playing some video game with the sound considerately turned down, chipping in here and there and laughing softly at something either Logan or Patton said but not getting in the way. Even so! Logan still heard the sound of footsteps sneaking from Remus’s room to Patton’s late at night, and Remus still insisted on giving him winks and stupid seductive looks whenever he could, telling him he 'liked his company’ and he was 'actually pretty funny who knew’ and 'there’s no one to dress up for here Logan, why don’t you lose the tie?’

“I just don’t like him!” Logan hissed to his reflection one day in the bathroom. “He’s clearly dating Patton, not that either of them have said a word, and he keeps just flirting all over the place! Patton deserves better! And he’s a jerk. I like my tie! I like to maintain professional standards even if he’s decided clothes are the first to go in this time of chaos. Ugh!” He glared, yanking the tie in question off angrily and glaring at it. Maybe he’d thought he looked nice dressed up sharply with his tie and hair neatly combed each day, maybe he’d been thinking of the time Patton had complimented the little stars on the navy fabric. Maybe it was none of Remus’s business how he dressed!

“Hey, you done?” The very man in question’s voice came from the other side of the bathroom door. “I need to pee!”

Logan raised an eyebrow at his reflection, considering it. He was almost petty enough to refuse, but as always was unable not to give in, settling for yanking the door open slightly too hard. Remus, who had apparently been leaning on it for some stupid reason, stumbled inwards a bit, catching his balance on Logan’s hips. They blinked at each other, and Logan knew the moment Remus decided to say something cheeky because his eyes glinted and his mouth turned up at the corners. But not today, Satan!

“You say a word and I will tell Patton what a disrespectful boyfriend you are! I mean it!” Logan hissed, shoving Remus’s hands off with a glare and waggin a finger in his face.

“I- what the f-”

“Don’t you dare flirt with me!”

“Did you say boyfriend?!” Remus said, voice strangled, holding his hands up in the air out of the way.

“Boyfriend?” Patton said from behind them in the hall. “What boyfriend?”

Logan spluttered. “Yours! He’s trying to, to seduce me!”

All of their voices rose at once, Logan protesting his disappointment in Remus’s inability to be attentive to Patton; Patton trying to weakly protest the label and situation; and Remus protesting his accused infidelity. Louder and louder they got, stood awkwardly half in, half out of the bathroom, until Remus growled and grabbed Logan by the shoulders.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Logan!” He snapped. “So I’m going to kiss you now, unless you tell me not to.”

What.

Logan’s mouth opened and closed, cheeks on fire, like flames on the side of his face. He didn’t manage say a word, and Remus nodded decisively to himself, hauling the flustered Logan in for a strangely sweet kiss considering the tension in the air.

It didn’t last long, but Logan felt like he’d awoken into a different universe when Remus pulled back again, looking at him carefully. “Well?” He asked. Logan wondered why Remus would sound like he couldn’t breathe when clearly he’d stolen all of Logan’s air. “Does that compute, I, Lo-bot?”

Logan frowned a little at the nickname, but Remus’s expression was slightly nervous and mostly hopeful, not cruel or mean looking. And Patton, when Logan glanced over Remus’s shoulder, was holding his hands clasped in front of his mouth, eyes huge and round, bouncing a little with what looked like excited anticipation. “Um. That- Excuse me, I seem to have misunderstood a few things.”

“Yeah no kidding,” Remus muttered. “Alright, ask your questions science dude.”

“You aren’t with Patton?”

“Ah well, sort of?” Patton stepped a little closer, lowering his hands to smile at them, hooking his chin over Remus’s shoulder. “It’s not like, exclusive, that’s not really the point. And not your thing, right?” He murmured to Remus, who shook his head, eyes still on Logan.

Okay, add that to the 'known facts’ memory banks to add to the equation then. “So you aren’t cheating on Patton by flirting with me?”

“No!” Patton and Remus replied at the same time, sounding equally offended.

“Okay! Sorry. But you were actually flirting with me?” Logan checked.

The question received a snort and an eye roll. “I mean, yeah. I thought you were just playing hard to get, you kept ogling me so I figured you were definitely interested. But then you got all huffy, so I tried to cool it a bit and Patton said you might be jealous of us a little bit, but then you kept giving me all these like, looks, so I went back to like, trying to be nice and everything but you still just…” Remus shrugged helplessly.

Right, yes. The glances, the blushing… In his own defence he had mostly written it all off as just anger, but it was fair enough that Remus had interpreted the attention a little differently based on the whole fact that he was unaware Logan thought he was cheating.“And… you would like to develop some form of… alternative relationship with myself as well?”

“Yeah!” Patton interrupted, grinning his sweet, bright grin. He slipped a hand past Remus’s waist to take Logan’s hand and squeeze it. “All three of us, doesn’t that sound cool?! I mean, uh, if you want me too, that’s okay if not, I can just share this gu-”

“Oh god yes,” Logan nearly burst with the words. “I mean, yes! I would- yes. Hm. That would be very pleasing. And intriguing. I wonder how-”

Remus tugged him back in close, cupping his face right there in the bathroom doorway with a grin that turned wry. “Oh Logan. I can show you pleasing. But first I gotta pee guys, genuinely!”

They let Remus escape and close the door, and Patton gently led Logan out to the living room, sitting close beside him and turning to face him.

He cleared his throat softly, and Logan thought the nanny looked really beautiful with his cheeks all softly pink, giving him one of those treasured smiles that wiped all thoughts of logistics and practicalities and regrets away. “So. Not a bad way to pass the quarantine then, you reckon?” Patton murmured, brushing some of Logan’s hair back behind his ear and resettling his glasses neatly on his nose for him, before leaning in to steal a kiss of his own.

No, Logan thought a few nights later; sandwiched between his two housemates on the floor, lounging on the cushions they’d laid out for a movie night and warm from their body heat, the way Remus stroked his hair and made constant amusing comments on the movie, and how Patton was cuddling his arm and playing with his fingers, occasionally burying his face into Logan’s shoulder to smother his giggles.

Not a bad way at all.

–

The End

[alchemist-shizun]

Anagnorisis

(AU belongs to @pistachiolan​. Check the notes for more info!)

ἁναγνώρισις: Sudden and unexpected recognizing of the identity of a character in tragedies or other written works, which often determines the turning point in a story. (Latin: Agnitio)

Merry super extra late Christmas aaand at this point this can count as a happy new year gift? I've been literally working on this since last decade, this is some dedication. I hope you like it Lan!! Lov u

Read on Ao3!

Word Count: 3,812

Characters: Roman, Virgil (Patton and Logan are mentioned), Thomas

Pairing(s): pre-Prinxiety

Warning(s): Migraine (and its symptoms), implied mind control, self-harm, crying, implied panic attack, some metaphors might be a bit graphic, please tell me if I missed anything!

Summary: Roman couldn't remember exactly when all of that had started. What he was sure of was that as soon as it begun, all the happenings before became … hazy. He would start to forget specks of time, details, people. And then came the headaches.

Song used: Once Upon A Dream from Sleeping Beauty

A/N: I now have Once Upon a Dream stuck in my head. I like to call this "let me just take all the creative liberties I can get and distort everything about the plot". Okay I have no clue if this is at all the idea you had in mind so I improvised thanks to the lyrics, I hope this isn't too far off? Either way, enjoy the angst and these two pining boys cause I sure as hell had a good time. To all my regular readers: you have no idea what’s coming. (Don’t forget to check out @pistachiolan’s profile for their fantastically marvellous au which you can find in their blog under the #TsCultAu tag) The poem Roman recites is a rough translation I did of Catullus's 48th carmen (had a book of his poems and ended up using my fav ofc). The narrated parts in cursive are either thoughts or past events, the parts in cursive and bold are the song lyrics.

✾

❝I'm in love with a fairytale, even though it hurts.

Cause I don't care if I lose my mind,

I'm already cursed ❞

I know you!

A hand flew to Roman's face, which was contorting with unwelcome pain he hadn't seen coming, before he could even register it was his own.

His fingers pressed on a spot between his eyes and the bridge of his nose, his skin wrinkled around them and he had to steady himself against the rocky wall that led to the dungeons.

The dungeons.

Roman attempted to take a look at the stairs he was on: he was met with a flash, or maybe they were multiple flashes, attacking his vision like sharp blades diving into your skin numerous times, one right after the other.

He was blinded.

Eyes closed again, a whimper came out of his mouth; his free hand found its way to his forehead, getting warmer by the second along with his face, then it slid through his hair, barely able to feel its texture.

Too much of a recurring sensation.

Roman couldn't remember exactly when all of that had started. What he was sure of was that as soon as it begun, all the happenings before became … hazy. He would start to forget specks of time, details, people.

And then came the headaches. When he forced himself to remember or clear the discordance in his memories, pain would come.

Oh, come on Roman, his head would reprimand, didn't you learn by now you shouldn't do that?

Headaches turned into fully-fledged migraines.

And hallucinations.

At least that was what he called them. He would be certain of events that had never taken place.

For instance, dungeons.

Roman had been walking down the path leading to them when his mind started to drift away: it happened the same way you look at an object and a memory hits you before its meaning.

For some reason, he remembered being there with Virgil in the past, they had conversations about carvings in the back of the furthest cell, which became the symbol of a legend kids told to scare each other.

It was insane.

Insane his mind could ever fathom the possibility of interacting with Virgil.

Sure, his distress towards Virgil had diminished the more he'd been around without causing any trouble or suspicion, but a memory was a memory. They had yet to have a serious conversation that wasn't necessary, a memory meant they had already spent time alone together as if they had been childhood friends.

Doubt came in, but there had never been solid proof of Virgil himself being up to something, so he had decided to drop that theory.

Roman fell down, but didn't rise up like he usually did in conflicts.

The pulsing in his head made him nauseous; everything was spinning, even the void he was met with once his eyes were closed.

His arms went over his head, trying to shield it from any other malevolent deity that had decided to plague him.

It just all felt so real.

As if he had known Virgil all along.

I walked with you once upon a dream.

Months, months and still no sign of defeat.

Now, who the hell was thinking that messing up with Roman's brain was a fun activity to spend time with?

Even his subconscious had to shove him further down the hole confusion had created: his dreams often displayed all too familiar situations, all too familiar events he knew he had been in, but with that one particular difference in them.

Virgil was present in every single one of them.

It made him lose his mind, so much that he was barely able to bear his sight anymore. He'd feel somewhat embarrassment, he'd turn away after a single glance, as if he had gotten burnt by it.

And then he'd never tear his gaze off of him because, gods of the Empyrean, that boy had to be up to something or else he had no idea where to begin to look for clues.

What a terrible mistake.

Instead, he ended up with the image of Virgil constantly occupying his mind, everywhere he went to, there wouldn't be a moment where his thoughts wouldn't drift away from his task and focus on him.

Daydreaming and migraines became one, distinguished only by the type of pain they caused. Emotional and physical.

Overthinking was his main daily pastime.

And what if his mind was actually trying to tell him something? Dreams often had meanings, so what was his subconscious up to exactly?

That was Roman's train of thought upon waking up from one of those fated dreams, the pounding in his head a visitor who had now become a close friend.

Only thing he was sure of, was that what he had to concentrate on was the fact that it involved Virgil. He tried to recall all of his past hallucinations, all the fake memories, trying to connect the dots between them.

If only he had Logan's skills, he would've had cleared it up in a second. Of course, this one thought was something he was never going to admit and that he would have willingly taken to his grave.

Going into detail was a mess, all the events that had displayed in his mind or in front of his eyes had no correlation whatsoever; so he started looking at the big picture, put labels onto what he remembered.

Those memories. They were all … happy. Carefree little quotidian life bites.

And he felt serene, something that had to be ruined by the massive physical pain. His thoughts told him to stay in those memories, to hold onto them the longest he could, to endure the constant aching so he could stay that additional moment.

It was another him, another Roman who was desperately trying to catch his past and bring it back to himself.

Present Roman wouldn't have been able to perceive that conclusion.

Actually, present Roman was currently losing his mind.

Because just what if what he hadn't realized by then was exactly what he had been focusing on all along?

Feelings. Feelings for someone who had been infesting his thoughts ever since he had arrived.

I know you!

Roman was a knight walking around the village in a busy afternoon at the marketplace. One turn towards a figure in front of a stand, a few feet away, and he switched to distressed knight mode.

« You've got to be kidding me. »

Virgil kept himself from jumping in surprise and faced the owner of the voice right behind him. A single infuriating eyebrow was raised in confusion.

« Pardon me if I dare to show up and get Patton the stuff he needs. » everything was accompanied by a whispered “geez” and an eye-roll.

Again, infuriating.

« That's not- ugh, you're always putting words in my mouth! » Roman watched as Virgil started to walk away.

But he didn't sense the bitterness left in the boy's chest, the one he felt every single time their conversations resulted into senseless bickering.

Then, it happened again.

Virgil stood next to the fountain and Roman's head started spinning.

The way the sun rays hit the water, glimmering in delight, the sparkles that reflected onto Virgil's clothes, the sound it made when he quickly passed a hand through the small cascade.

Dumbfounded, the knight approached him again, searching the scene with his eyes for even the smallest clue to prove him either right or wrong, he simply wanted to get it over with.

Of course, the other noticed his staring. « Like what you see? » Virgil jokingly asked, a hint of sarcasm never leaving his voice.

Yeah, I'm trying to figure that out. Roman stayed silent for another second.

« Are you going to walk back? »

« I don't have a carriage, I apologize. »

He sighed and wondered if he really was considering having feelings for such a … a-

Virgil chuckled right after, ducking his head toward his hand, which shielded his smile.

Gosh, he was gorgeous.

Roman fought a peculiar instinct to pull the hand away and let the whole world be blessed by such a sight. And maybe it was the first time he had smiled like that in his presence, maybe it was the first time after so long of not being able to do that.

Maybe it wasn't the first time at all and Virgil was simply a master at hiding it when Roman wasn't looking. When he didn't want him to realize the truth that could've hurt both of them in brutal ways.

« Well, » Roman snapped back to reality, trying to ignore the headache at best. « It just so happens that I have a horse. » he gestured to the beginning of the plaza.

« No, you don't. » a cryptic expression crossed Virgil's face.

« Wha- » Roman turned just that much to notice that, yes, his horse had definitely freed himself and was now on the loose around the village. « Oh my gods. Oh- Oh my gods. » his hands flew to his hair. « Nope. No. Absolutely unreal. This isn't happening. »

« Dramatic much? » Virgil approached the broken ladder still tied to a fence and started examining it.

« What are you doing? »

« Helping you. »

Roman was getting drunk by all the deja vus he had been getting that day.

Virgil showed him the direction in which the horse had run away, judging by what was left of the ladder. « He might be in his favourite spot. »

« Favourite spot? » his words felt almost slurred, like he had cotton in his mouth.

The other pretended he didn't notice how odd his behaviour had been for the past week. « You don't remember your horse's own routine? »

Roman didn't even know he had one.

After some sighs and an incredulous conversation, they reached a clearing in the woods, where the horse was promptly considering whether or not to swiftly jump and reach one of the fruits on the trees.

« Samson! Really, running off like that on me? »

The animal happily trotted towards them, resting his face against Roman's hand before facing Virgil and surprisingly nuzzling his cheek. For some reason, Samson had always taken a liking into Virgil, which had made it really difficult to interact with the boy in the past.

It was as if Virgil had been his best friend before he was Roman's.

Like he had known him for as long as they did too.

The headache hit his forehead once more.

The gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam.

Relax time, Patton had called it.

Stressful weeks had been pestering Roman, Virgil and Logan, all for different reasons, yet there never seemed to be time to catch some breath.

Patton had insisted some untroubled hours at night, sat around a little welcoming fire, would have helped their constant stiffness.

So there they were, watching flames try to reach the sky and fail with every attempt.

Oddly enough, their conversations were … simple. Nothing too heavy, no bickering or sarcasm, some jokes but not an overbearing amount.

Roman had his eyes fixated on the fire.

The voices started to drift away from his hearing and everything became muffled as he zoned out, leaving space for the familiar buzzing of nightly insects.

« Earth to Roman, did the gods finally take you away? »

Of course he was sitting next to Virgil.

Of course his whispering would bring his attention back despite having ignored any other louder noise.

He turned his head slightly, his head was resting in his crossed arms on his knees.

« I wish. » he let it out before he could stop himself.

Virgil simply chuckled. « Same, but I don't think Pat would be too happy with that. » And some others, too.

He faced the fire and let its light reflect in his eyes.

Roman believed he could see the stars. « Mhm. »

Virgil seemed to ponder something, reflect on a decision; he could have stayed silent, he could have simply not indulged in a certain matter any further, because that would have costed his life. But he needed proof.

And so he spoke.

« You'll be fine, princey. None hates you here. »

There it was again. Virgil made his best not to immediately check his reaction, but he could see from the corner of his eye how Roman was already raising a hand to his head.

Okay, he thought, something is up.

He bit his lip and ignored the anguished feelings rising in his chest.

Yet I know it's true the visions are seldom all they seem.

Where did that even come from? Why did he call him that, why did it feel so normal as if he'd been used to it his entire life?

What was happening?

Why was his heart beating so fast as he replayed the scene in his head? With Virgil's eyes glimmering against the sky and that smile hidden in the dark.

Who dared to send him so deep in the admiration zone to forget about the continuous pain he was subjecting himself to while being around Virgil so much?

When exactly did he sign the “I will dedicate my existence to destroy myself in order to be around such a human” contract?

To think that months prior he would have called him monster.

Then again, what a peculiar word it was. A mixture or positive and negative meanings, it was the extraordinary, a prodigy, a miracle. That incredible thing that also presented itself as a heinous atrocity.

And it had devoured his mind.

Here he was, now, countless migraines after, finally accepting his feelings because he was at the last stop before having that nightmare finally end.

Except it didn't.

Except non-existent memories of him and Virgil in a past he had never experienced came back to him at once and stronger than before. He couldn't almost breathe and he had no idea where he was going.

But he needed to find Thomas.

Last resort, as they say. A literal deity would have solved the problem in the blink of an eye.

Right.

Thomas had a weird twinkle in his eyes when Roman explained how often he had been getting the headaches and what was the recurrent situation the dreams displayed.

He made him sit down somewhere … he was too clouded by the pain to understand where he was exactly.

« I perfectly know what's going on. » Thomas had reassured him. « Trust in me, everything will be alright soon. »

Yet, when he placed his hands above Roman's head and he closed his eyes not to be blinded by an all too familiar glow, “alright” would have been the last thing he would have felt.

Or it wouldn't have been a word at all, because with the persistent twisting and turning and deleting and reforming of his thoughts and memories in his mind, there was no way he believed there could have existed anything else but pain in the world.

Roman didn't even have the strength to scream anymore.

And it was agonizing. Dangerously agonizing, as he fell to his knees and couldn't even feel the touch of his own hands vehemently pressing on his eyes, strong enough to push them far back into his eye sockets.

Maybe he was actually shrieking so loud his hearing had failed him long before.

His fingers dug onto the sides of his face and fell down on his cheeks, the nails traced red paths down both of them, white bits of dead skin left by them crossed paths with bitter tears that were somehow able to escape the limit his palms put.

« Everything will be alright. » Thomas had repeated while he nonchalantly destroyed the poor boy's mind. « You don't need him. »

That was the downfall of his discernment.

« I'll fix it for you. »

But if I know you,

When the blinding light ceased to hit his face, Roman's entire body plunged into the pavement for a split second, before immediately scrambling back to his feet.

His vision was back, the headache was gone.

But the confusion …

The thoughts that were now forming into his mind. Those were the doleful sting of skin thrown carelessly into flames: just as the skin burned and turned into an ashen damaged substance, so Roman's memories were filled with blank gaps and eroded by the flames of Thomas's power.

« I need- » he stormed out of the room without ever completing the line.

What he needed was actual reassurance.

If before his memories only conflicted with each other, now Roman felt like his whole life he had lived an illusion.

Gods, what was even true at that point?

So, he needed.

He needed answers, confirmations, he needed to feel authenticity.

Roman knocked on a door.

When Virgil opened it, he was met with the sight of a dishevelled and devastated boy, with red on his cheeks and in his eyes. This boy suppressed a sob, barely able to keep his lips from trembling.

« Are you even real? »

It was the exact same feeling as having a crowbar hitting his teeth: insanely painful and impossible to bear.

Followed by colossal quantities of resentment.

Virgil moved carefully, he let Roman in before closing the door behind them and let him sit on a chair in his room. In a second, he was already at the knight's side with a glass of water placed on the desk next to them. Eyes wide with concern, trying to fight the angered shaking of his hands.

He knew it all. That was just the confirmation. Yet, he couldn't talk, only help. Which was the first priority at the moment: care for Roman.

« What happened? » nothing. « Are you hurt anywhere? » still nothing.

His lips contorted with concern; Virgil watched the other try to steady his breath, looking around the room to see if he could still distinguish whether or not he was hallucinating.

Roman raised his arms and pulled Virgil close to him. It felt real. He buried his face in his chest, and still felt real. The tears wetting Virgil's shirt were real.

Real, real, real.

You're real, Roman. He's real. Your feelings are real.

He held him closer.

I know what you'll do.

How long Virgil had denied everything in favour of his safety.

And anyway, as soon as he was back, Roman had instantly hated him, who could even blame him for suppressing the truth?

Then things changed. He had noticed the alterations in Roman's demeanour, the loss in his focus, how disoriented he had started to become.

Townspeople constantly told him to pray to the gods, go visit Thomas for some “blessings”.

Yeah, right.

Virgil's heavy knot contorted in his stomach at the sole thought.

Instead of burdening himself even more, he passed a hand through Roman's hair, maybe embracing him with his other arm a little too tightly.

His feelings blossomed at once again, so much harder than before, as if he had bottled them up for so much time that they exploded simultaneously at the first display of affection he received.

Too long he had waited for something as simple as a hug. And there was only one to blame.

Roman wasn't even able to talk, he didn't want to move and face his issues, there was no way he would have wished to speak up about anything that had happened.

He felt damaged. He barely knew his identity at all and Virgil's presence was so grounding that he would have stayed in his arms forever.

Which Virgil would have gladly accepted.

« Can you tell me a place? » Virgil lowered at his level so he could look him in the eyes. « Somewhere safe, a comforting space? »

Roman sniffed one last time before being finally able to respond.

« The Black Lake. »

You'll love me at once.

Seeing someone calm down on the spot, with the breathing evening out nicely, was a rather cathartic experience, Virgil's own tight chest could finally be released from the grip of anxiety.

The two were sitting by the limit of the Lake, which was enlightened by the moonbeams.

« Follow me now. » Virgil called for Roman's attention. « Focus on the water. »

Roman did as instructed.

« What's your name? »

Grounding exercises.

« Roman Kingsley. »

« How old are you? »

« 22. »

Virgil waited for Roman to take a deep breath.

« What's your title? »

« I'm a knight. »

What is the name of your brothe- « Tell me the name of one of your friends. »

« You. Virgil. »

How can you even exist?

Virgil tried to hide a wide smile at best, while his heart jumped happily.

« Where do you live? »

« In this village. »

« Where are you now? »

« At the lake in the forest. » Roman took more breaths with his eyes closed. « You're with me. You're a friend, I think? I don't know it's all so confusing- »

« It's okay, let's talk about something else. » Virgil let the silence sink in purposefully, so the other could regain his focus.

He watched as Roman moved closer to the water and immersed his hand in it, pushing the water away in vain.

« Can you tell me something you learnt by heart? »

Roman didn't take his eyes off of the water.

He seemed to think about it for a second. « If someone, Juventius, would let me kiss your honey-like eyes to the bitter end, » the steady movement of his hand was almost hypnotizing. « I'd kiss them three hundred thousand times; never will I feel like I'm satisfied, » he raised his hand and stared at the drops falling back into the lake, creating the chaos that mirrored the one in his head. « Not even if the harvest of our kissing were to be thicker than the dried ears of corn. »

Virgil snapped back to reality when he felt Roman's head rest on his shoulder, his eyes closed again, but this time they weren't squeezed shut with pain.

« Thank you. » he whispered.

And, for once, nothing was wrong.

✾

« Want to know why this is my favorite place? »

In another memory, in another past, Virgil had turned to Roman with a small but expectant smile. « Why? »

« No matter how many times I come here, » Roman had returned the smile, holding so many more things he was never going to be able to tell him. « You're always here with me. »

The way you did once upon a dream.

[just-a-neoclassical-painting]

Basically the events leading up to last chapter.

Logan's never held a cat before and it is a t r a v e s t y.

Warnings: Referenced minor character death, angst, Roman gets drunk, mainly fluff though, minor character deaths (hanging).

The palace was filled with the rich aroma of roses, and when the light summer breeze stirred amidst the trees the heavy scent of pink dahlias, or the more delicate fragrance of the purple and yellow hyacinths came through the doors as well. Roman thought they were beautiful - just as beautiful as the man who'd had them planted. Janus.

The sun was high, beating down on everyone who had gone outside for fresh air that day. The chatter and laughter was infectious, and it rippled through the grounds. Roman's cousin, Logan could be seen attempting to shoo Patton and another taller man Roman didn't recognise a little further away, keeping an eye on Roman so the plan went successfully.

The aviary was always the place the king and Janus chose to spend their days. Roman was well aware that he tanned spectacularly anywhere, but he insisted that laying in Janus's lap, listening the birds singing from their homes in the trees and to Janus's voice as he muttered sweet nothings to Roman improved the ultimate result.

Janus lavished the long hot months, and spent as much time as he could outside. Sure, sitting in the dark, shadows dancing across him did wonders for his aesthetic, but it did not do wonders for his snake-like scars. Roman knew how much Janus hated them - they held memories of the disease that had infected his home country. Janus had survived by pure spite, and was on the first boat out when his people abandoned the land.

But somehow, the heat soothed the constant aching he felt on the left side of his face. Roman adored the sound Janus made when Roman pressed his hand up against the scars, warming them with his touch.

"You look absolutely ravishing in that suit, my prince ." Janus purred, twirling Roman's curly hair around his finger and smiling fondly down at the man in his lap.

"Please, you act like that dress doesn't do you wonders~" Roman grinned, hooking a hand around the back of the taller man's neck to help pull himself up so they were facing each other. Janus's hand was still in Roman's hair and he ran it through the auburn waves, his gaze fixed on Roman's small plump lips.

Roman barely registered this, his own eyes tracing the shadows that played across Janus's lips - before letting out a laugh and pressing their lips together.

Janus's lips brushed his, gingerly, tenderly, like butterfly wings, just long enough that Roman could inhale his soft breathe, feel that familiar warmth of his skin, and the taste of his signature golden lipstick lingered long after Janus had pulled away, smiling.

Roman tucked a loose bit of hair behind Janus's ear, laughing in glee as he pressed another small kiss to the snake-like side of the man's face and was rewarded with a small blep.

"I love you so much, you know?"

"No." Janus laughed, his eyes softening, "Of course I do, Princey. You can't seem to go three seconds without telling me. You know I love you."

Roman got up off the bench, his heart swelling up. Him and Janus had this thing, ever since they'd got together. Janus said the opposite of how he really felt. It confused Roman at first, but, as one of Logan's professor friends said, "Thank god for friends who learn to speak to you in your own language, instead of forcing you to learn theirs."

So Roman had learnt Janus's language, because he knew how Janus struggled to be understood by so many when he was studying as a mage in the kingdom - it was the least Roman could do for the person he loved.

Roman adjusted his sash before reaching a hand out to help lift Janus up from the bench, twirling him around before sinking into a dip position and kissing Janus.

Janus smiled as they rose up again, cupping Roman's cheek with his hand before saying, "I'll head inside - It'll be fun watching the court try to survive in the heat."

"Thank you- I'll only be a second-"

Janus was already slinking back inside, weaving through the flower patches and letting Kaa, his familiar - a long and beautiful python - slither off a branch of one of the trees Roman's grandmother had planted and onto Janus's shoulders.

Roman turned back to the bench they'd been sitting on. It was painted white, and had a small message engraved into it. Roman recognised the swirly handwriting as his own,

                                                                              King Thomas

A loving father and servant to all.

Roman was only 18 when it had happened. His father had succumbed to the disease that had infected Janus when he visited the island with Logan, hoping to use their skills in the sciences to help the people work on a cure. Being a historically magical land, they had desperately needed people like Thomas and Logan who were trained in the science after all their attempts to magically cure the disease failed. Roman hadn't travelled with them, Thomas believing Roman would be better equipped to keep the country in order if need be.

Roman had just finished a show, taking his final bows with a bouquet of fresh red roses in his arms when 3 women from the court ran onstage to tell him. King Thomas had died, using the last of his energy to help Logan engineer a cure. Roman was king. Roman had lost the only parent who'd ever cared about him.

Roman was crushed. He entered one of the darkest parts of his life, realising he wasn't a hero. Logan and the King were the people who'd saved the island from the disease, not him. And his dad was gone. Roman hadn't saved him. He was a useless excuse for an heir, not just a heroic knight.

Roman wasn't of royal blood, not truly. He was adopted, but when King Thomas had gone through the land looking for an heir, apparently Roman - an abandoned 4 year old who ran around 'saving' people in the market using a stick as a sword - was the one he believed could take the helm of the country.

But Roman had never expected to become king so soon. Even so, Roman had done his best - to be something the kingdom could be proud of, someone Roman himself could be proud of. Someone his father could be proud of. And maybe he failed at that a lot, but he was trying. If he couldn't save his father, Roman could save the kingdom his father had always been so proud of.

Roman went down on his knees, taking the crown off his head. It was covered with lots of miniscule, intricate designs, each representing one of the many stories Roman had begged his father to tell him each night again and again, imagining himself as the dashing hero until he just had to go to bed. Those were the kingdom's stories, and sat on the head of the monarch as a fierce memento of the kingdom's heritage. The gold was forged thousands of years ago by the first mages to ever settle on their land. Hundreds of diamonds were set into this gold, each one formed of the ashes of a monarch the crown had once been worn by. Even though he wasn't truly a part of the family, Thomas had promised when Roman was very young that when Roman died, he would become one of these diamonds. Roman would be immortalised in a beautiful diamond, among the family that had loved and accepted him, guiding his own child through their reign.

Roman smiled fondly as he set the crown down onto the bench. Roman often spent whole nights talking at the crown, desperately trying to keep his voice down so Janus wouldn't wake up and think Roman was a lunatic, but he'd never been this ceremonious during his one-sided rants to the piece of headwear.

 "Greetings everyone." Roman started, awkwardly. He really hoped no one, especially Logan, could see him, "I, uh, just want to talk to Papá today. I've got some big news - I really think you're going to be proud."

Pause.

"Dad!" Roman directed his vision towards an orange stone near the front. which he instantly recognised as his father, " I know you can't really hear me but- It's just- I'm really excited! I have this whole dinner planned out for later. We're gonna dance for ages, Me and Janus, that is. And then I'm going to do it, for real. I'm actually going to ask him to marry me! I truly think we're ready - we've been discussing it for a while and I just- I just love him so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with Janus."

Roman jumped back as King Thomas's diamond and lots of the others that surrounded it blared red. Had he imagined it? Was that a normal crown thing to do? No one else in the Mind Union had crowns anything like Roman's crown, so it wasn't like he could stumble into the next meeting and ask if anyone just happened to know why exactly the dead relatives he kept in his crown were changing colours and if they were available could they possibly sit down and explain it to him.

Roman just shook it off, there was nothing he could do - and he had a boyfriend to propose to.

------------------------------------------------------- --------

"Darling? I assumed we were meeting in the great hall for dinner-" Janus questioned Roman, who was currently trying to sneak up to their rooms

"Oh! Well, I was just wondering...do we have to? It's just- I'm not feeling it today. Being around other people, that is. Couldn't we just spend the night alone - if you want, of course."

Janus raised an eyebrow, moving up the stairs so he could inspect Roman. They'd been together for 3 years, and whilst Janus was glad to be spending time alone with Roman, this wasn't exactly like his extroverted prince, who he knew so well.

"Of course, dearest. It's good you'll be getting some rest - we can't have you getting overworked. I'll go alert Logan and Patton, shall I? Send all staff home early for the night?" Janus worried, squeezing Roman's hand, "Go up, I'll be back soon."

Roman could barely speak, before he was pushed up the stairs. Well, at least now he'd have more time to prepare the dinner.

Over the next 30 minutes, Roman had rushed around the majority of the castle before landing himself in the gardens surrounding the castle - a picnic set out around him, full of both his and Janus's favourites. Now, he just had to hope it would all be enough. And that Janus had followed the very extensive list of clues. That was important.

A few minutes later, Janus turned round the corner of a bush of blooming red dahlias, struggling to hide the goofy smirk that was playing on his lips. Janus had changed into a black velvet evening suit with golden buttons and a short black cloak that finished around his elbows.

"You're grossly cute, you know that? What's all this even for?" Janus said laughing, nestling himself in the grass next to Roman. Pushing a plate and some wine towards Janus, Roman shuffled awkwardly - attempting to think of an excuse.

"Ah- I don't really know? You deserve it. You've been working so hard recently." Janus smirked coldly, swinging back his glass to let the wine wash down his throat.

"Seems you're the only person who thinks that round here. Thank you."

"Pat had his reasons for picking that Angore kid over you. They're not for us to question - just know that I would much prefer working with you. Conversation would be far more interesting. I haven't seen the guy Patton chose talk once."

"He never was one for talking, even in school. And you meant what you said - you'd prefer me?" Janus's smile softened as he turned around to the man who was attempting - and failing miserably - to eat grapes in the manner of an actual Roman. Dork.

The grapes were suddenly dropped to the side as Roman jumped up and cupped Janus's face, "Of course I would." Roman kissed his nose, "Idiot."

"Sap. You've gone soft since we got together, you know?" Janus laughed, plucking a grape from the discarded bunch.

"Haven't I? Oh, and do tell me, where'd you get that suit? You look beautiful, really." Roman asked before snatching something else from the blanket, "It's nothing on par with some of my outfits."

"Thank you, Darling." The sincerity of the compliment made Janus's ears go pink, making him think himself lucky that sun had long gone down, the only light source coming from the insects that flew in and around the pool of water at the centre of the gardens and the taverns that stayed open all night, "I think it was some dressmaker in the outer kingdoms. He reminded me of you. A more disgusting version of you, that is. With a moustache. Don't ever do that. That would not be a look."

"Oh god no. I'm imagining it - I look like a rat." Roman cringed, picking up his own glass to take a swig. The conversation continued, kisses and flirtatious remarks being exchanged at regular intervals, all the while Roman was slowly working his confidence up.

He had to do this. They'd been dating for so long and Janus had to know how much he meant to Roman. Roman wanted to marry Janus and spend the rest of his life with the person who he loved more than any other - the person who'd made him fuller and happier than he'd ever been before they had met. Roman wanted to feel that exhilarating rush of pure love and joy that he got every time he woke up to find Janus next to him, safe and warm, every single day. Roman wanted hear that distinct laugh, see that easily recognisable smile, touch those beautiful scars every day for the rest of his life. He wanted a family - and he wanted it with Janus.

"I love you Janus. So much." Roman said, having fully built up the courage he needed, "More than you'll ever be able to understand. You make me so happy and all of your differences and things that make you unique just fill me with so much joy. Like when you scrunch your nose when your enjoying something? That's so beautiful and-"

"Roman-"

Roman pulled a ring out of his pocket and slipped it onto Janus's hand. Janus gulped. The ring was beautiful, it looked absolutely perfect on him. It was shaped like a teardrop and looked like these two colours of red and gold were swimming around and in each other - but never ruining or affecting the respective colour.

"I want to spend every sunset and sunrise with you. So...Will you make me the happiest man in the world, and marry me?"

This wasn't supposed to have happened. Roman was supposed to have died before he could develop these kinds of feelings for Janus. It was Janus's fault. He should've ended the game a long time ago - but he'd enjoyed it too much. Being cared about. Caring for someone else. This would have had been prevented if Janus had just pushed Roman down that flight of stairs months ago. Petty, but effective.

But he hadn't. Janus had been weak, thinking it wouldn't hurt if he just continued it for a little while longer. And now Roman had gone and ruined everything by proposing. Now Janus had no choice but to put his plan into action. He would not be a prince next to a king by saying yes. No, he would say no - no matter what the little voice in his head was saying, common sense would beat it. Janus would be king. Janus would never be seen as weak again. People like Patton and Roman and his stupid nosy advisor were the weak ones. Janus would make a change. For the greater good.

And so he answered Roman, pulling his hand away with the ring still on it,

"No."

"I'm so sorry I-"

"Get out. Please. Before you ruin this even more."

Roman hesitated for a second, before turning away and heading back through the bushes. Janus cast a simple location spell to check where Roman was headed. He was slightly taken aback to find the king was heading out of his own castle? Not that it wasn't a pleasant surprise, he just hadn't thought this would all be so easy. At least, for now, the death of King Roman could be avoided.

Janus easily recollected the form of the young king and slowly felt the familiar scars on his face disappear. There were slight imperfections, whatever form he took. It was impossible to completely master such a difficult spell - he was the first mage ever documented to even be able to control the spell to this level.

Janus flicked his wrist sharply, making the rest of the food suddenly disappear before stepping through the grass and bushes towards the castle - a mantra repeating in his head,

"For the greater good."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Logan had found Roman roughly an hour beforehand - flirting passionately with the scarecrow Logan had placed in his garden a few months ago, and threatening to duel the crows for the scarecrow's hand.

And that was whilst Roman was still sober.

Logan was currently dealing with an egotistically and emotionally unstable Roman on alcohol and Patton, who was clearly very much enjoying and egging Roman on whilst sitting in the corner - giggling every time Roman did something either lacking shame and/or dignity - or more often than not.

Considering everything that had happened, the night was going relatively well (even if they'd all just had to endure a good 20 minutes of Roman crying in Patton's lap before jumping up and singing Brave New Girl) until they all heard the familiar sounds announcement bells. No one could ring that bell except the reigning monarch, who in this case was Roman - it required his fingerprints. If anyone else did, they were immediately magically transported out of the castle and wouldn't be allowed back in by the magical boundaries that protected the castle.

But Roman was right here.

Silence dawned upon everyone in the small two roomed house, leaving only the sounds of shuffling people from other houses, all trying to gather round their windows like Roman, Logan and Patton were. All was quiet until...

Roman came out of one highest castle doors, out onto the announcement balcony. Roman, the real one - since whoever was up there had to be an imposter, had only ever used this balcony once. It was to announce Thomas's death to the people. He hated that balcony. It made everything real.

The fake Roman began speaking and Roman suddenly felt as though he was looking into a mirror. This imposter sounded exactly like him, parroting Roman's signature...everything.

"No-" Patton gasped, almost walking back into Logan, "It can't be-"

"Padre? What do you mean?" Logan looked down, confused. Did Patton know what was going on?

Patton shook his head quickly, laughing nervously, "I got confused, kiddo. Don't worry-"

Patton could barely continue as the fake Roman began speaking, louder than before,

"People of the land, I am your king. We are a great country, one that can become greater. But changes are required. Sacrifices are necessities. Weeds must be cut, pruned, so that the flowers may bloom to their fullest. The first weeds to be cut shall be the secret criminals that hide among us."

The three men gasped quietly. All of them had heard those words before. During private lunches, arguments, meetings, And they'd heard them from Janus.

"Patton? That's- That's Janus right?" Logan said, his usual monotone and formal voice stumbling over his words. "How has he taken the guise of Roman?"

Patton nodded but didn't answer, his mouth agape at the balcony as Janus continued,

"First to the stand, Lilibet Nicos. Her crimes against the crown can not go unpunished for any longer."

Roman snapped out of the almost trance he'd been in for the last minute when he heard the women's name. Lilibet Nicos...He'd heard it before. She was a young woman who had visited Roman, asking him to work on making a law that would defend the rights of their non-human neighbours of the mountains throughout the Union. Roman and Logan had been working on it and were nearly ready to present the law to the court so that they could vote it in. What was Janus going to do to her?

A group of knights surrounded a women in the crowd that gathered around the palace who struggled violently to get out of their grasp, but they held tightly to her arms as she cried to out and was hauled onto the stand. Roman squinted to take a closer look at what they were doing and nearly cried out when he saw them take a piece of rope and wrap it around her neck, but Logan's gloved palm covered his mouth. He could hear a little boy scream somewhere in the crowd and Roman recognized him as Lilibet's youngest son, Julio, being held in the arms of his older sister. Roman had carried them both on his shoulders and played with them in the palace gardens during Nicos's visits. He wanted to run out into the crowd and take them both onto his shoulders, tell them that he would keep them safe from everything, before saving their mother.

But he couldn't. Patton was holding him back by the arms. Why was Patton holding him back? Roman could save her if he could just get out of Patton's grasp.

"Padre- Pat- Please let me go! I can save her! I promise-"

"Roman, no. It is far more probable that you would fail and die along with her." Logan interrupted, resting his hand on Roman's shoulder and tightening his grip just in case Roman broke out of Patton's hold.

Janus remained unfazed, even as Lilibet fell limp. An uproar suddenly infiltrated the previously silent crowd as Lilibet was dragged off the stand like nothing had happened. With a flick of his wrist, Janus conjured the crowd silent again so he could continue. Janus called upon more and more people, each of whom Roman could recognize - even if he'd only met them once or twice. Roman couldn't help but turn around and sob into Patton's shoulder as each person met the same fate as Nicos. It was Roman who was sentencing them all - in every way.

A little while later, Janus had left the balcony and the crying and angry crowd had dissipated. Roman's tears stopped falling abruptly Virgil's letter came through the window, tied to the leg of a sleek black cat. It wasn't a long, eloquent letter. Virgil's handwriting was sharp, small and scruffy and there were only four words scribbled at the top of the parchment.

The people are revolting.

Roman couldn't help but feel a blossoming of pride in his chest. His people wouldn't live on in silence after their families had been killed. They would fight back. And he would be among them, every step of the way. You couldn't do that to Roman's people and expect to get away with it. He wouldn't let it happen.

And then he realised, they were revolting against him. Janus had looked exactly like Roman whilst he shouted out the sentences. This would make everything a lot more difficult.

Patton turned round to Logan and Roman, smiling sadly.

"I've got to go - me and Virgil are going to do everything we can to help, then meet you two up in the castle."

"The castle? You do remember that the entire kingdom is revolting against me?" Roman almost shouted in his panic. What was Patton thinking?

"Ah- Well, Janus has been spotted by some of my animal friends heading through Mendax Street. Me and Virgil are going to try and cut him off. And the castle should be empty - you sent everyone home."

The panic and stress built up and Roman shouted, throwing his arms up in exasperation, "Of course! Because that's totally going to work! God - Can you not think of anything useful Padre?"

Watching as Patton's face fell, Roman's eyes widened and he moved forward, taking Patton's hand into his own, "I-I'm sorry Pat I-"

"No, no- It's fine, please don't worry, kiddo!"

"No- No it's not. I shouldn't taken it out on you... I should've stopped doing that years ago. Neither of you deserve it, not after everything. Everything's just...a lot right now."

There were a few moments of silence until Logan, who had been leaning against a chair at the back of the room and stoking the fire at regular intervals, cleared his throat and walked forward, "He does have a point though. The castle is indeed empty, but the entire kingdom is currently revolting against Roman - a face the entire kingdom knows better than their own."

Patton looked down, biting on his lip for a few seconds before looking suddenly back up again, an idea lighting up his freckled face, "Roman, kiddo, come stand in front of me."

Roman instinctively did as he was told, and with a wave of Patton's hands he felt a wave of cool air flow over him. Roman looked down to see a pair of far more feminine hands instead of his own and grabbed his mirror from his pocket to take a look at himself.

He was a lot shorter now, and very distinctively a woman. Roman's hair was longer, reaching just below his shoulders and a slightly darker brown - like his eyes. He looked great.

"Wait- I've read the statute of mages. What Janus, and now you, are doing- isn't it illegal?" Logan questioned. He was fine with breaking laws, just as long as he knew how, and which.

"Well, yes. But no. Janus took the form of an actual human being. That's not allowed. Roman is only taking the form of a fictional women. She doesn't exist. That, Logie, is allowed - as long as you register with an Elder Mage. We couldn't have fictional people running around constantly, could we?"

Logan cringed at the nickname. He hadn't heard that one in years. "And we have actually registered then?"

"I am an Elder Mage so...yes. Yes we have. I've got to go now - Virgil will be waiting. We'll recalibrate and plan at the castle." Patton rushed out the door, picking up his discarded staff from behind the seats.

"She's cute, isn't she?" Roman smiled to the right of Logan's head.

"Are you- I'll never understand your immense self esteem, Roman. Never."

"I mean, I do look dashing, but I was talking about the kitty." Logan looked at his shoulder, where Roman was pointing. Virgil's cat was sleeping, wrapped around Logan's neck. Logan hadn't noticed her before, but now he distinctly could hear the small mews and feel her cold nose rubbing against his skin.

Logan caught Roman smirking and shot him a glare before picking the cat up off his shoulders and making sure she stayed asleep as he held her in his arms.

"How do you do this- is it like a baby?" Logan asked. He had never held a cat before, but he had held a baby. Lots. Lots of babies. It had to be similar, hadn't it?

"I'll wait outside...Logie." Logan could hear Roman laughing even as the door shut behind him, but his attention remained on the small ball of fluff in his arms. She was so cute and peaceful...

Until she bit down on his bare arm, hard, and then continued to act as though nothing had happened, curling further into him. It stung a little, but Logan couldn't blame the little thing - she was too precious. He left her sleeping in his bed with a little bit of catnip, since apparently cats liked that, and he had lots of it stocked up in his cupboards.

Outside, Roman was resting against the scarecrow he vaguely remembered flirting with earlier. The sun was setting, and the sky was a myriad of purples and oranges. It was a beautiful sight, watching the sun slip down beneath the horizon, ready to arise again tomorrow. The sun would always keep setting and rising, and that soothed Roman. Everything would keep going, even when it seemed like it wouldn't.

Logan came running up behind him soon after, and they looked up at the castle, before making their way to it in silence.

[lovehugsandcandy]

Who Killed Jason Shaw? Chapter 5: Mona (RoD, Colt x MC)

Summary: Ellie visits Mona and makes an eventful stop at Shaw’s wake.

Rating: R (discussions of death, almost violence)

Pairing: Colt x MC, RoD

Length: ~2300 words

“You gonna let me in?”

Mona rolled her eyes, opening the door wider to let her slide past. “I suppose I can fit you in my busy schedule.”

Ellie smirked and pulled the car keys from her pocket, tossing them over with a flick of the wrist. “You chariot, your highness.”

“Thanks. Kaneko probably liked riding shotgun in my car over your dad’s old cruiser.”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

“It’s not like I can drive it anywhere anyways.”

“How’s house arrest?”

“Still awful.” Mona flopped onto her couch. “I am caught up on all the daytime TV I never wanted to watch, the only person who visits me is my lawyer, and I just want to be out.”

“I’m sorry.” Ellie flopped beside her. “You want some good news?”

“Shaw’s dead.”

Ellie sat up suspiciously. “How did you-?”

“My lawyer.” Mona ran hand through her hair. “He called the day after it happened, chewed me out a little, and then wanted to talk strategy.”

“What strategy?”

“Well, he was supposed to testify against me. He’s dead, Hester and Wallace are on the run so...”

Ellie furrowed her brows. “Sooo....”

“So he thinks there’s not much of a case, really.”

“He thinks he’s gonna get you off all charges?”

Mona shrugged. “Colt hired the best.”

“And they know you couldn’t do it anyways...”

“Do what? What do you mean?”

Ellie looked at her hands. “My dad thinks it wasn’t an accident. He thinks someone from the crew offed him.”

“Wait. What do you mean I couldn’t do it?” Mona looked almost offended. “I could do it. I would, with my own bare hands.”

“Ummm...your ankle bracelet?” Ellie looked pointedly at the large black contraption tied to her ankle. “They would know if you left the house, if you got within ten blocks of him.”

“Psh.” Mona derisive scoff made Ellie pause. “I can get this thing off, not problem.”

Ellie froze, heart dropping. “What?”

“It’s not hard. You just need the right screwdriver to get the side piece off and the paneling inside had a joint that you can undo. Wanna see?”

“Wait, no-”

“Too bad.” Mona leapt from the couch to fish around in a kitchen cabinet, returning with a small Phillips. “See? You just need to...” It took thirty seconds, three separate screws and then Mona slid her fingers over her dainty foot and suddenly, the tracking bracelet was dangling from her finger. “Tada! Easy.”

Ellie’s jaw dropped.

“I don’t do it that often, you know.” Mona fiddled with the black plastic in her hands. “Just when I desperately need to get out of the house.”

“Mona...” Ellie nervously rubbed her fingers together. “Did you desperately need to get out of the house Sunday night?”

“I don’t know...maybe? I might have snuck out, just to get some fresh air and hit the bar down the block. Why?” Ellie avoided her gaze to look out the window. “Oh my God, you’re investigating.” Ellie kept looking out the window; she could only see sky, blue stretching out as far as she could see, but she just kept staring, mind racing. “Are you investigating me?”

“Well, I wasn’t! I thought you were stuck here all the time!” Ellie sighed, looking at her hands. “My dad’s investigating. He thinks it wasn’t as accidental as it appears and he suspects someone from the crew.”

Mona blinked and then threw her head back, laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

Mona wiped a stray tear from her eye. “I feel like you could throw a rock in LA and have a good chance of hitting someone who had it out for Shaw. Yeah, we are sketchy, but so is half the county. You know he’s after us because your dad thinks we corrupted his little girl.”

“Probably true...”

“Do you think he did it?”

“Huh? Who?”

“Your mastermind boyfriend, there.”

Ellie looked out the window again. “He said no. He wouldn’t lie to me.”

“He’d only make you unknowingly transport someone he kidnapped.”

“He didn’t kill him.”

“Then who did?”

“I don’t know!” Ellie threw up her hands. “Maybe it really just was an accident!”

“Ha. Or maybe you’re still the shy valedictorian who has a ten o’clock curfew.”

Ellie rolled her eyes.

“Why don’t you check out the wake?” Mona continued.

Ellie froze. “What?”

“My lawyer told me the wake’s today and tomorrow, they put that bastard in the ground.”

“Why would I go to the wake?”

“Doesn’t the murderer always do that? Gloat over their victim? You could investigate who shows up.” Mona grinned, all teeth. 

“And how would you know this?”

“I’ve watched hours of TV sitting in this freaking apartment; there is a Law & Order on every goddamn hour!”  Mona cast an assessing eye over her clothes. “You’re in all black anyways, perfect outfit. Why don’t you check it out?”

“I just did laundry, ok?” Ellie rolled her eyes. “I didn’t bring that many clothes, jeez. Chill out.”

“Ok. But I’m just saying you should check it out. It’s not the worst idea I’ve ever had.”

Ellie looked at her assessingly. “Not the worst...”

~~~~~

Ellie was bored. So bored. She had been there for an hour and no one, not a soul, had come or gone from the funeral home. She expected someone, anyone, hell, she prayed for someone to come but it was dead. Apparently, the cops wanted nothing to do with Shaw and Meaghan started a new life for herself. It just meant that there was absolutely nothing to see or do on this silent, still street. She had already searched her dad’s car for snacks (and found nothing) and dug through her purse for something to do (she counted her change, watched the flame of a lighter dance, and played Solitaire until her battery was down to 15%).

She was bored.

As a result, any confusion she felt when she heard the familiar roar of a motorcycle was immediately supplanted by relief as Colt slid into her passenger seat.

“What are you doing here?” Didn’t Mona say that the guilty party always showed up? Criminal tendencies aside, she was rarely wrong.

“Came to see you.”

“How’d you know I was here?”

“Talked to Mona.” He settled in next to her. “I didn’t know you borrowed her car.”

“Yeah, the brakes on my dad’s old cruiser were acting up. I fixed them, though.”

“Look at my little mechanic.”

She rolled her eyes. “Did you come here to make fun of me? Or to run surveillance on the funeral home, too? Because let me tell you, it’s boring as hell.”

“I can imagine.” He cast a skeptical look across the street, at the bored employees in dark suits milling around. “Have you been looking at these phone records?”

Ellie’s heart dropped. She had been, before shoving them under her bed when her dad came up the stairs, but something in the gleam of Colt's eyes made he think she should have been looking closer. “Uhh...”

“There’s a bunch of weird stuff here.” Colt pulled out the papers, neatly folded in the pocket of his jacket. She could see blue ink, phone numbers and dates circles, careful notes in the margins.

“When did you become a detective?”

“Ha ha. Know the law to beat the law.” He handed her a page. “He sure called Chicago a lot.”

She looked down at the paper. “You think it’s Hester or Wallace?”

“Could be.” He thumbed through the pages. “Some weird payphone calls, the one Toby found, a long one the day before he died outside Mile High Stadium.” He flipped through some more pages. “But look, look.”

Ellie’s heart dropped and her mouth went dry.

“Ellie, he called Logan!” If Colt could find it that easily, the cops could too. “Ellie, him and Logan talked. Multiple times. There’s one here, over a week ago. Then another...” The sound of pages turning pulled Ellie from her reverie. “And here. Three times, Ellie. He and Logan talked three times.”

She rubbed her forehead.

“Did you visit him yet?”

“No.” The space behind her eyes was starting to throb. “Not yet.”

Colt looked at her curiously, studying her. Finally, he dropped the papers. “Hey. You ok?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Yeah, fine. Fine.” Even she could tell her voice was hollow and unconvincing.

His careful fingers curled around the back of her neck and her breath caught. She had seen those hands punch and scrabble and commit acts of violence that made her head spin but, sometimes, when those fingers ghosted over her skin, sometimes she forgot the hard edges, the crime, willing to forget all of it for just one more gentle touch. Besides, wasn’t everyone a mix of good and evil, an internal a battle between the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other? Just because the devil won once didn’t mean a person was irredeemable. Right?

“Hey.” His soft voice broke through her thoughts. “I love you.”

She blinked, brow furrowing. “I know. I love you, too.” She sighed, low in her throat, as those gentle fingers tugged, lifting her across the center console, gently placing her in his lap.

“I love you, Ellie.” His mutter was low, lips against the skin behind her ear. “No matter what, I love you.”

She pulled back to look at him. “What do you-AAAH!” Her query was interrupted by the car door flying open, a strong hand on her arm pulling her from the car, catching her before she tumbled to the pavement. “What the-?”

She looked up at her assailant and her voice died in her throat at the fury in her dad’s eyes. “Dad?”

“Get your hands off of her!” Cot was out of the car in an instant, leaping to the ground behind her.

“This is between me and my daughter, not some degenerate two-bit thief.”

“Excuse me?” Colt strode forward and Ellie’s breath caught; he looked every bit the criminal her dad claimed, tough, aggressive, hands balled into fists as his eyes zeroed in on her dad. She tried to shrink away but her dad’s hand held firm. “I said let go of her!” 

Finally, her dad let his arm fall, glaring at Colt. “Ellie, get in the car and go home. Now!”

“Don’t talk to her like that.” Colt slid in front of her, stepping in front of her dad; she could just see the ice in her dad’s eyes over the leather jacket and the rigid set of shoulders underneath.

“Colt, no-” This is not how she envisioned Colt meeting her dad. Crap.

“And you? Leave my daughter alone.”

“I think she can decide who she talks to.”

“And I think it’s not gonna be idiot hooligans with more muscles than brains. You need to stay the hell away from her.”

“You watch how you talk to me.” 

“Or what? Stay. Away. From. Her. Or else.”

“Or else what?”

“You think I have any qualms about taking you out of here in cuffs?”

“What’s the charge, exactly, Detective? Keeping her bed warm? I mean, that’s not illegal, but maybe some of the things we do should be, right?”

“COLT!” Jesus Christ, she was gonna kill him.

“How about murder, smart ass?”

“You think I killed him?”

Her dad took another step forward, hate in his eyes, jaw set.

“Fucking cuff me then.” Colt’s voice held a challenge that she was terrified her dad would accept.

Her dad took yet another step closer as the two squared off. “Don’t think I won’t hesitate to take you in.” 

“Colt, come on.” She was clinging to his arm, trying to pull him back, her eyes brimming with tears; she could feel his tension in his muscles, coiled and ready to strike. If the clench of his fist was a precursor to a punch, this would get ugly. Fast. 

“You better have some proof before you start throwing baseless accusations around.” The ushers from the funeral home had noticed the altercation, turning to watch, gesturing and whispering.

“Baby, please.” Ellie pulled harder but Colt wasn’t moving, feet planted, less than a foot between him and her dad.

“I’ve taken down tougher men than you, Kaneko.” Her dad wasn’t backing down either, hand on his service pistol, another step forward so he was in Colt’s face. 

The tears had started to fall, clinging to her cheeks, dropping into her hair. “Dad, stop!”

They were eye-to-eye now; her dad had an inch over Colt but Colt was broader, the tight lines under the cut of leather imposing enough without the rage in his eyes. “If you think you can pin this on me, then you’re as fucking corrupt as he was.”

“Colt!” It took the hysteria creeping into her voice and one huge tug on his forearm but, finally, he turned, looking at her as if he just remembered she was there. “Please, stop. Please.” She watched him look at her dad, again, then her, taking in the tears on her face, the trembling of the arm that still clutched at him, desperately.

With one last look at her dad, jaw clenching, he shook his head and turned heel, storming back to his bike.

“What the hell, dad?”

“I cannot believe you’re...you’re cavorting with him!”

She blinked, watching Colt throw his leg over the bike and, before she could think better of it, darted after him. “Wait, wait!” He looked confused, helmet in his hands, as she dashed over. Before she could think twice, acting on instinct without regard for consequence, she clutched his cheeks in her palms, pulling his lips to hers in a desperate apology, an unmistakable message to them both. He kissed her back, fiercely, before she pulled away. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” His eyes trailed down her face, softness in his eyes such a contrast to the enraged look her dad got. Finally, with one last glance behind her, he put his helmet on and was off with a roar. After his taillights faded into the night, she crossed her arms over her chest, shooting one last withering look at her dad before getting in the car and driving away.

[luvleycloudy]

Soldier, Poet, King

this Sanders Sides fanfic was inspired by the song Soldier, Poet, King by Oh Hellos (check it out it’s a good song) this is my first time writing something like this, and so I wanted to share this since I was proud of the story and how far it has come (even though it’s probably really bad). I have already planned out what happens next, let me know if this should be a blog or just post the rest in parts, Enjoy!!!

word count: 2,162 

Once upon a time, there is a legend about three sons. The oldest was the king, the middle was the soldier and the youngest was the poet. They all went their separate ways and went to have their own adventures. The legend says that the soldier went to every city while carrying a mighty sword, and will tear every bandit that the city had a problem with. It also says that the poet would go to every town, spreading his writings. Some of his writings were good, and some were bad. And lastly the King, he was actually a good ruler for his town. He was praised for making peace with so many enemies that they had. He treated his people fairly and would solve any problems that the country was having. One day the king was on his deathbed and next to him were his brothers, the soldiers, and the poet. They laid there until the king took his last breath. Once the king was buried and his son was to take the throne, the soldier and the poet disappeared, and never to be seen again. Since then the people of the town created a holiday specially made the three sons called “Hero’s day”. The legend says that in 100 years, the day will come when the soldier, poet, and king would come back and will come back and work together as brothers. (… or maybe something more….?)

100 years later, today is the hero’s day event, and everyone is preparing for the festival that would happen that evening. In the west of the town, there are two twin brothers named Roman, he is the most energetic and cheerful teenager you will ever meet, and Remus, he is the most chaotic and disturbing teenager you will ever meet. Roman can also be a very imaginative person, so he likes to imagine himself as a hero for someone else in need. Remus is also an imaginative person, but instead imagining himself as a hero, he imagines himself as the villain. Their mother went up to their bedroom to see both of them was awake, but of course, she wasn’t surprised that she saw both of her sons asleep in bed. “Rise and shine, my little stars, today’s the big day.” Roman and Remus groans and Roman turns around and Remus slowly opens his eyes to see their mother bright and beautiful smile. “Good morning mother, why is today the big day,” Roman asked, his mother laughed at that response. Hero’s day was always their favorite holiday and she can’t believe that they forgot about it. “ Today is Hero’s day my son.” she got up and open the curtains of the room to make it brighter. Roman and Remus immediately got up, both stared at each other for a second and made the brightest smile you can ever see in a child’s face. “IT’S HERO DAY!!!!” Roman and Remus yelled excited for the day has in store for them. They both got out of bed to get ready while his mother was downstairs, getting breakfast ready. Roman goes downstairs first then Remus came down as well and sat on the table while his mother places a plate of food in front of them and enjoy their meal together. Remus finishes his food then it was Roman and was about to head out while his mother stayed back as she had something else to do but will meet them at the town. “Oh Roman, Remus,” his mother called them. “ before you go, I want to tell you two something. Something that has been passed down from generation to generation, and since you two have become of age, I will tell you.” she breathes in and out then start singing “ There will come a soldier, Who carries a mighty sword, He will tear your city down, o lei o lai o lord O lei, o lai, o lei, o lord He will tear your city down, o lei o lai o lord” she smiles up at them and hugs them tightly, “ I love you both so much sweetie, be safe.” Roman and Remus let go of the hug and look up at her “I love you too mom” they both said at the same time and then left the house on their way towards the town square. In the east of town, there is a boy named Logan. He is a level-headed, calm, and insightful teenager. The sun shines brightly through the window where Logan was sleeping. His eyes squinted and slowly open them. He got up and got ready for the day until he realizes that today is Hero day. He went downstairs to see his mother cooking breakfast and his father sitting at the table drinking a warm drink. “ Good morning mother, father,” Logan announced his presence. His parents and turned around and greeted him. “Goodmorning Lo-Lo,” his mother said and went back to her cooking. Logan smiled and went to the counter to grab his journal and immediately started writing whatever first came in his mind. His mother and father shared a look and his mother sat next to him at the table. “ Lo, I want to tell you something that I hope you don’t forget. You must carry this with you as long as you live.” Logan nodded as an understanding but also as for her to continue. His mother breathed slowly before she continued, then she began to sing. “There will come a poet, Whose weapon is his word, He will slay you with his tongue, o lei o lai o lord O lei, o lai, o lei, o lord He will slay you with his tongue, o lei o lai o lord” Logan smiled of understanding and continue with his breakfast.  “ I’ll be going to the town square to see the festival, will you both be joining me?” Logan asked his parents and they both nodded. “ Yes logan we will, but first me and your father will have to do something before we head to the town square, you go on without us we will meet you there.” Logan nodded and left with his book in hand, reciting the words his mother told him while eating breakfast. The Northside is where the town square was recited but also where the rulers of the town stayed at as well. The royals son, Patton who is very nice and is full of courtesy teenager, was crowned king a day before Hero’s day, as he has already come of age for him to become ruler of the townsfolk. One of the maids knocks on the door and walks in, “ Your highness, it’s time to wake up, you have a big day ahead of you.” the maid said and she opens up the curtains, and she hears a groan coming from the newest king. “ come on your highness, today is Hero’s day the most important day that our townspeople ever celebrated.” as the Maid said that Patton immediately got up and got ready for the day. The maid shook her head and laughed softly at him, ‘ he never lost his child heart’ the maid thought “oh and your highness, your mother was you t speak to her at the garden, she said it’s important.” the maid said as she left the room leaving Patton to get ready. As he was done getting ready he looked at himself in the mirror, “you are the king now, you must be there for your people” Patton said to himself, and he left his room to go meet his mother in the garden. Once he walked into the garden he saw his mother sitting on the bench made out of cement, “ Good morning mother, you wanted to see me?” Patton asked his mother, and she nodded and she got up and walk towards her son, and held his hand. “Yes I wanted to tell you something important, something that I had to tell you until you had come to age and become King.” his mother said as she walks him through the garden. She clears her throat and begins to sing, “There will come a ruler, Whose brow is laid in thorn, Smeared with oil like David’s boy, o lei o lai o lord O lei, o lai, o lei, o lord Smeared with oil like David’s boy, o lei o lai o lord” his mother turns around facing his son and smiles, while Patton smiles and nodded to show that he understands the responsibility he has. 

In the south of the town square, there is a boy named Virgil. He has a notable pessimistic personality, but he has a tendency to see the negative side of things. He woke up to the sound of fighting, probably his parents, Virgil thought. Virgil was grateful for this day, as he has an excuse to leave the house and not hear the yelling of his parents. He got up and got ready for the day ahead of him, excited to see his friends that he was going to meet at the town square. Once he made his way down to the kitchen he sees his mother sitting on a chair next to the table, she runs her hands through her hair and looks up and sees Virgil standing by the doorway. “Oh, Vee! You’re awake” she says forcing a smile on her face. Virgil understands the complications that his mother goes through, but she rather not show it towards him and wants to make it seem that everything is fine. Everything is not fine. “Good morning mom,” Virgil said smiling back at her. “Are you going towards town for Heroes day?” Virgil asked, his mother looked down at her hands almost sad and disappointed to not go to the festival with her son this year again. “No, I won’t be about to go with you this year… I’m sorry Virgil…” she said, Virgil looks down and smiles sadly, “it’s okay mom, I know you are trying and that’s the best thing about you,” Virgil said and looks up at her while holding her hands. She smiles at him and rubs his hand gently, she gets up and goes towards a jar that they keep in the cabinet. “I’ll give you some money that you can take for the festival,” she said as she counted the money, “this should be enough,” she said as she put back the jar and walked towards Virgil, money in hand. Virgil looks at his mother worryingly, “are you mom, I know how tight money is right now and-” his mother cut him off his sentence by giving him a loving embrace, “I am sure Virgil, you have grown so much and you have done a lot for this family, please as your mother, let me do this for you…” she said softly, Virgil almost on the verge of tears, but immediately wipe them away and nodded. She smiled up at him and gave him the money. “Go have fun my little stormcloud, I’ll be right here when you return,” she said, he made his way to the door and looked back at his mother and lightly smiled and waved her goodbye. She waved back and smile, but once he was out of hearing he lightly sings sadly, “O lei, o lai, o lei, o lord, He will tear your city down, o lei o lai…” she finishes as she watched her son walking towards the town square. The same area as Virgil, just down the block from him, there is a boy named Damien, he is very sarcastic, and likes to manipulate others, wakes up from the banging he hears from his door. ‘ father is home’ Damien thought as he slowly got up to open the door to see his father looking a little wonky, and reeks of alcohol. “Dee what have I told you about you locking your door ~,” his father said, swirling his words a bit, Damien sigh he doesn’t want to deal with this right now early in the morning, “yes father I know, It won’t happen again.” lie “good..” his father said as he made his way towards the hallway, Damien hears his father bump into things as he makes his way towards his bedroom. He closes his door and he gets ready for the day ready to see his crush that he was going to meet up at the festival. He makes his way towards the door, and he sees his lovely neighbor, “Hello Ms. Crofter, how is your morning?” 

“Oh, good morning Dee, mines is going splendid, I hope I get to see you at the festival tonight.” 

“Oh you will don’t worry, I’ll see you then Ms.Crofter,” he said as he walked towards town. Ms.Crofter smile went away right after he left, “O lei, o lai, o lei, o lord, He will tear your city down, o lei o lai…” the women said. 

[chaosqueery]

Title: Your Future Awaits

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,135

Characters/Ships: Caroline Forbes/Stefan Salvatore,

Description: A missing scene from 1x10 "The Turning Point". Stefan carries Caroline home after she is attacked by Logan Fell and they have a heart-to-heart.

Alternative Links: (FF.Net/AO3)

A/N: This story has been sitting in my unfinished fics folder for YEARS. I think I started writing it when season 5 of TVD was airing (2013... so yeah, nearly 6 years). I got stuck on an extra scene I wanted to add at the end. Eventually, I just decided to cut the scene, post what I have, then maybe return to that bit in the future.

She remained unconscious the entire walk home. Stefan was worried. He had no idea how hard Logan had hit her, but he couldn’t get close enough to examine the gash on her head. Not unless he wanted to lose all control over his bloodlust and drain her dry. Carrying her in his arms was hard enough. He could already feel the dark veins bulge under his eyes as the scent of her blood wafted through the air, making his hunger grow. If only he was strong enough to use his vampire speed all the way to her house. Being in such a small town, it doesn’t take more than five to ten minutes to get anywhere within the Mystic Falls borders. However, it didn’t seem to feel that way. Each second stretched out to minutes as the urge to act on his natural instincts tried to take over. Stefan made a low grumbling sound at the back of his throat, close to a growl, and winced as he tried to concentrate on his steps, quickening his pace as much as he could.

When he finally made it to her house and walked up driveway, Stefan breathed in deeply as he attempted to regain control over himself. How the hell was he supposed to get her inside? He hasn’t been invited into her house and he wasn’t sure he could hold himself together until Sheriff Forbes came home. It was getting to the point where he felt like he would have to just set her down at her doorstep and bolt. He would have no idea how to explain abandoning her on her front porch, but he would rather that than ripping the girl to pieces. Just as he was sure that that’s what he would have to do, he heard a small groan come from the girl in his arms and he looked down to find Caroline was waking up.

“Hmmmmm…what? Where- where am I?” She mumbled, eyes begging to crack open to observe her surroundings.

“Shhhhh… It’s okay. You’re home. You’re safe.”

“Stefan? But I was wi- what happened?” She touched the side of her head and winced as her fingers made contact with where she was her. When Stefan saw the bit of blood that transferred to the pads of her fingers he carefully moved one hand from under her legs so her feet could touch the ground. Then he took a step away, but not without keeping a hand close to her incase she couldn’t walk on her own.

“Let me walk you to the door and I’ll explain.” She nodded and followed him the rest of the way.

“First of all, what do you remember?”

“I was waiting for Bonnie to take me home, but then Logan showed up and offered me a ride. I got in the car and then he-“ she paused for a moment as she tried to piece together exactly what happened and her eyes grew wide as she came to a sudden realization. “Did he attack me?”

Stefan remained silent, but she could tell by the solemn look on his face that she had come to the right conclusion.

“I’ve known him since I was little. He’s a family friend. Why would he do that to me?”

Stefan shook his head. He knew the answer, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to give her the full truth, so he played dumb instead. “I don’t know.”

“You saved me though, right? I mean, why else would you be the one bringing me home?”

“I was just in the right place at the right time is all.” He shrugged it off, but Caroline wouldn’t hear it.

“Thank you.” She placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to show her gratitude, but his body stiffened at her proximity. “Seriously, thank you. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t come along.” Noticing his discomfort at being touched, Caroline let her hand drop and took a step back and tried to not take it personally, but that was always a hard thing for her. Stefan met her eyes and softened his expression, signaling to her that it was okay.

“Do you want me to stick around until your mom comes home?” He knew it was a big risk asking her, but he could see that she was still afraid, and the thought of leaving her alone after such an event didn’t sit well with him.

“Would you?” She looked at him with stars in her eyes, grateful to him for saving her like he was her knight in shining armor. The sweetness in her smile made his hunger ease just a bit, and he was able to offer a smile of his own.

“I’d be happy to.” He turned and sat down on the steps of her front porch.

Caroline moved towards the door and pulled her house keys but stopped when he turned to sit down on the steps of the front porch. “Don’t you want to come inside?”

“Well, it’s a nice night, and I think the fresh air might do you some good. It might make you feel a little better.” More like fresh air would do him good. Even though he was doing a bit better now, closed spaces always made it significantly harder to ignore the scent of blood.

“Now that you mention it, I do feel a little dizzy.” She groaned slightly before lowering herself to sit next to him.

“You could have a concussion. Probably a mild one, but you should stil get checked out by a doctor.”

“I will.”

They were both silent for a minute or two, neither knowing what to say. The only time they have ever spent any real time together was the night of the founders party, and then they had dancing and champaign to keep them occupied. Now it was just the silence that surrounded them.

Eventually, Caroline came up with a topic.

“So, how did you like the career fair? Anything look interesting to you?”

“I don’t know.” Stefan shrugs, making Caroline roll her eyes. What was he supposed to say?

“You don’t know? You didn’t see your future in there at all?” When Stefan just shakes his head, she isn’t satisfied. “Do you want to know what I see for your future?”

Stefan let out a small chuckle and decided to humor her. “Sure”

Caroline purses her lips a bit in thought, and then brightens when she comes up with something.

“A firefighter.”

“A firefighter?” he quirked an eyebrow and urged her to continue.

“A firefighter” she nodded. “Or a police officer, a doctor. Something where you can put your hero-like abilities to good use.”

Stefan lowered his head at the mention of him being a doctor, the one career choice he had always wanted throughout his multiple lifetimes, but could never pursue. “Yeah, I don’t know about that.”

“Hold on, I’m not done yet.” She put a hand up, halting him from interrupting whatever picture she conjured up for his future. “You’ll marry Elena, stick to the small town life, and have lots of babies. There might be a house with a white picket fence in there somewhere.”

He had to admit, she was pretty on the nose when it came to figuring out the things he had pictured for himself. It might not be the most original idea, but it was the same image of a life he’d hung on to for years and he had yet to envision a new one. Of course, they were just more things he could never have. “You forget, Elena and I broke up.”

“Oh, please. We all know that’s not going to last.” She waved him off.

Stefan wanted to deny it and tell her that getting back together with Elena wasn’t a possibility for him but, instead of trying to come up with a load of bullshit excuses as to why, he decided to turn the tables and put the focus on her. “What about you? What do you have planned for your future?”

“Broadcast journalism.” Caroline stated with absolute certainty. When Stefan gave her nothing but a ‘hmmm’ paired with a grin in response, she took as his nice way of saying ‘pffft, yeah right’.

“Great, you think I’m crazy too.”

“I didn’t say that. I actually think that’s a really good fit for you.”

“Really?” She questioned, not sure she should believe him.

“Yes, really. You’re intelligent, dedicated, and I think you’re probably one of the most capable people I have ever met. I think you could be just about anything you want.” He watched as Caroline froze for a second before she turned away from him and focused on her hands folding together in her lap. He tried to think of what he could have said that offended her, but it didn’t take long for her to answer the question herself.

“But you don’t even know me. Not really. To you I am just Elena’s annoying friend Caroline.” The sudden change in her voice and demeanor was dramatic. She went from bubbly and bright, to small and melancholy in a matter of seconds. It was a side to her he had yet to see until now.

“For the record, I have never found you annoying.” He tried to assure her, and for a moment he noticed the corner of her mouth quirk upward, but then the small smile disappeared almost instantly.

“Everyone else does.” She says simply. “I’m nosy, bossy, superficial, shallow. Nobody ever believes that there is anything more to me. Honestly, I’m not sure I believe it either.”

“Listen, I know we might not talk a lot. The thing is, I don’t talk to anyone that much. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t pay attention. I can understand why you would feel like everything I am telling you is just a bunch of empty words to make you feel better. All I can tell you is what I see. I see someone who is driven and direct. You’re someone who knows what she wants and works hard to achieve it. Most people our age don’t have the determination you do. It’s something to be admired.” Stefan spoke honestly. Even in their brief encounters, he knew that Caroline Forbes was someone special.

Caroline broke away from focusing on her fidgeting hands and turned back turned back to look Stefan in the eyes, her own glossing over, making them glimmer with unshed tears. Her mouth parted a bit, and for the first time she was at a loss for words. She just stared in wonder and allowed herself to be moved by his kind praise.

They both lingered in the quiet intimacy of the moment, until the silence was shattered by the sound of a cell phone ringing. Stefan dug in his pocket for his phone and looked down at the caller ID, his brow furrowing. Caroline closed her eyes tightly and tried to shake off the moment, before opening them again and asking “Do you need to get that?”

“Uhhh…” He tried to make it look like he wasn’t debating whether or not he should answer the call, but knew he probably wasn’t doing a very good job at it. “It’s just… Elena. She’s probably just worried about you.” He put the phone back in his pocket, his lips pressed tightly together. “I can fill her in later.”

“No, you should talk to her. It’s fine.” Caroline argued. “I think I’d really rather go inside and wash this day off me anyway.”

“Caroline, I really don’t have to-“ He started, but Caroline still stood up from her spot on the front step.

“I’m fine, Stefan.” She attempted a smile to prove her statement. “Go see Elena and tell her that everything is okay. I’m sure my mom will be home soon anyway.”

Stefan hesitated, not really knowing what the right thing to do was. He didn’t feel right leaving her after everything she’d been through, especially when she opened up with a very vulnerable side of her that was rarely seen, but then he considered that maybe all of this had become too much for her and she needed an out. He didn’t want to push her if that was the case.

He stood to meet her height and studied the expression on her face. “Only if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.” She nodded and went to open the door before shooting him one last look. “Thank you. So much. For everything.”

Stefan mimicked her nod and said “If you ever need anything –if you’re ever in any trouble or even just need to talk to someone- call me. Alright?”

“Alright” Her smile seemed a little more genuine now. “Goodnight, Stefan.”

“Goodnight, Caroline.”

A/N: The scene that was supposed to go at the end was Caroline getting ready for bed and thinking about the events of the day. Going over Logan, her feelings for Matt and Stefan, and her insecurities. When I wrote it, it just wasn't going the way I wanted. It didn't sound right to me and I was worried it would bring the whole fic down. I do think it's important though, so I am gonna try to keep working on it and then add it as a second chapter. Maybe I'll even rewrite the first part completely in Caroline's POV.

I also would love to put this into a collection of missing Steroline scenes throughout the seasons. If there is anything you want to see, let me know. I can't promise I will do it, it all depends on what it is and if I feel inspired.

[do-your-socks-have-holes-in-them]

On the Other Side / Ch7: Truth or Dare part 3

Last / Masterpost / Next

Summary: For the past thirteen years, a secretive organization has been raising two groups of superpowered children. Half of them, since their very first memories, have been told they’ll grow up to be brave and strong superheroes; the rest were taught a much harsher view of the world, and groomed to become villains. Neither group knows of the other’s existence. But when a certain trio of heroes-to-be meets two future villains who really just want to be left alone, they all realize how much they haven’t been told.

Warnings: non-graphic violence, bullying, child abuse, sympathetic/good Deceit (Devon) is a main character

A/N: Sorry this is late, the past week has been kind of crazy... I'm thinking about switching the update schedule for this to Friday or Saturday so this won't happen as much.  What do you guys think?  Also, don’t worry, this is the last super-dialogue-heavy chapter before we get back to Plot Events and such.

Read on AO3

Patton noticed Roman’s hesitation, and it wasn’t difficult to guess the cause.  He took his hand with an encouraging smile and led him back to the fort.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he assured him.  “I know you didn’t mean to, you just didn’t know it would scare them… I’m sure if you explain that and apologize, they’ll understand!”

Roman wasn’t as certain, but he allowed himself to be pulled along anyway.  After all, what kind of hero would he be if he couldn’t do the right thing and apologize when he messed up?

Everyone glanced over when they came in, although no one said anything yet.  The blankets were still soaked in the corner where Patton had been sitting, but it only took him a second to pull the water out of them and deposit it in the bathroom sink, leaving everything nice and dry again.  Roman winced a little at that.  To have such good control of the water, he must still have been feeling pretty bad, even if he was trying not to act like it.

“Is everyone okay now?” Patton asked, sitting cross-legged in the same spot as before and patting the blankets to tell Roman to join him.  As soon as he complied, Patton let his head rest on Roman’s shoulder, blinking heavily.  The storm had taken a lot out of him, and it was a fair bit later than they were used to staying up anyway.

Devon nodded.  “We’re alright.”  He was leaning on the wall, and Virgil was leaning on him, turned away from everyone else so that his face wasn’t visible.  They both looked about ready to fall asleep where they were, too- well, insofar as the back of Virgil’s head looked like anything.  Maybe that was why they didn’t have all their defenses back up; they were just too tired.

“Guys, I- I’m really sorry,” Roman blurted before he could overthink it.  “I was just so excited to get to show off, I wasn’t thinking- I understand if you don’t… trust me around you anymore.”  He pulled his knees up to his chest, moving away from them and closer to Patton to show his willingness to stay away, not that they could see him very well in the dark.  The light had gone back where it belonged earlier, with Roman focused on other things.  He brought it into the fort again and played with it absently in the increasingly awkward silence that followed.

It was a bit of a relief when someone at least moved.  Virgil lifted his head, turning a little to look at him.  Silently, of course.  It was very uncomfortable until Roman realized he was just watching the ball of light bounce between his hands and not staring him down.

“Oh, uh- I can, I can put it away if you want,” he stammered, assuming it was making him nervous.  To his surprise, Virgil shook his head quickly and actually reached out a bit as if to stop him from putting it back.  Roman was suddenly reminded of Devon had related to him shortly before things had gone wrong.

“Do you… want it?”  He got a slightly confused look in response and attempted to clarify.  “I can make it so you can touch it, and I can’t do anything else to it without touching it myself, so it won’t do anything unexpected this time… Just- will you allow me to begin to make this up to you?  Please?”

Virgil considered him for a few seconds.  This was a very unfamiliar type of interaction for him, after all.  Then, he nodded slowly and held his hand out.  Roman perked up, cheering internally, and took a moment to solidify the little orb of light before floating it over to him.  Virgil caught it and turned it over in his hands a couple times, then gave him a thumbs-up and- was Roman just imagining that he seemed a little happier?

“Does that mean you’re not mad at me anymore?” he asked hopefully.  A brief whispered exchange, and Devon answered.

“We don’t hate you or anything,” he assured.  “Just don’t do anything like that again.”  He ended with a warning look, but Roman was too relieved to be very intimidated.  Then he put his arm around Virgil and continued, “And uh- we’re sorry too… for overreacting and interrupting the game and upsetting Patton…”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Logan said carefully.  “I would guess that in the context of your previous experiences, the way you reacted made perfect sense, and the game was really not that important.”

“I’m the one who should be apologizing to you,” Patton cried.  “I tried to use my powers and help and- and it made everything worse!”

Logan realized he was still apparently the only one here thinking rationally.  “You were having a panic attack too,” he pointed out.  “You couldn’t possibly be expected to control your emotions.”

Virgil and Devon looked at each other.  There was a term for it?  They would have to ask about that, when they were more awake.

“Now, if we’re all done blaming ourselves for things that we either didn’t mean to do or had no control over…”

“Can we finish the game?”  Patton asked.  “I mean, I know we’re all really tired, but I don’t want the last thing that happens today to be that…”

“I’m willing.”  Roman didn’t want to fall asleep thinking about it either.

Devon shrugged.  “As long as you don’t mind if we fall asleep in the middle of it.”  Point of fact, he wasn’t entirely sure Virgil hadn’t done that already.

“If it will make you feel better, I’ll participate too,” Logan agreed.  “Actually, I believe I was supposed to demonstrate my power now.  I’ll keep it calm since it’s getting so late.  Er… Virgil, do you think you could move the light a little so we can see?”  He’d sort of curled up against Devon and was holding it like a stuffed animal, which was somewhat endearing, but also prevented the light from doing its job.

“You make a better door than a window,” Patton giggled.

Virgil made a sleepy, barely-there “hm?” sound and turned his body so that the light was more visible.  He blinked hard a few times and rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up so he could watch Logan.

“Thank you.”  Logan pushed his glasses up and began.  “I have the power of molecular manipulation- which, if you haven’t gotten to that yet in your classes, molecules are the little pieces that everything is made of, I have a book I can show you tomorrow- but with the limitation that I have to understand what I’m doing to be able to do it, so I can fairly easily do something like this,” he held up the pieces of the blanket Roman had attacked and put them back together as if nothing had ever happened, “or what I did earlier today to make a hole in the wall, but if I wanted to cause something to explode or similar I would need to do some research first.  Moving things is the easiest.  Teleportation is possible in theory, but I’ve tried it with some small objects and they don’t necessarily look the same afterward, so I wouldn’t want to do it with anything living.”  Roman and Patton exchanged a “yuck” face at the very thought.

“It also allows me to change the temperature of things,” he continued, leaning forward and taking a couple of cookies.  It was a miracle any were still left, honestly.  He frowned at them for a few seconds.  “There- an example.”  He scooted closer in order to hand them to Devon and Virgil, who were pleasantly surprised to find the cookies were warm now, making the chocolate chips all nice and melty.

“Do some for us too, Lo, please?”  Patton could, of course, get Logan to do this any time he wanted, but still.

“Oh, all right.”  He warmed up two more for Patton and Roman.

“Surely you know this is the only reason we wanted you to room with us,” Roman teased, slinging an arm around Logan’s shoulders.  “Our own personal nerdy microwave.”

“Oh, get off me,” Logan grumbled, trying not to laugh as he pushed him away.  “It’s supposed to be Patton’s turn now, right?”

“Right!” Patton tried to say, only his mouth was still full of cookie, so it came out more like “Rmph!”  He swallowed quickly before going on, “Logan, truth or dare?”

“Oh, don’t even bother,” Roman interjected with an over-dramatic sigh, “he’s boring, he’s only ever going to say- ”

“Dare,” Logan interrupted, crossing his arms and giving Roman a look.  “Only so you’ll leave me alone about it.”

“Oh!  Um… I need a minute to think about it now,” Patton said with a surprised giggle.  “No, wait, I know…”  He whispered in Logan’s ear, cupping his hands so no one else could hear.  “I dare you to lick Roman’s face every time he says the word ‘the’ for the rest of the game with no explanation.”

“I am not doing that,” Logan said immediately.

“What?! What did he tell you to do?” Roman asked, clearly disappointed.

“He wanted me to lick you-”

“Wh- Patton,” he whined.  “Gross.”

“Yes, exactly, which is why I’m not doing it.  I forfeit this round, and also propose a rule of no more dares for the rest of the night, because clearly some of us have started getting weird.”

“Aw, no!”

“Just because you don’t want to-”

“You two, shush.  Devon? Virgil?”

“Uh…”  Thanks a lot, Logan, they totally wanted to be put on the spot right now.  “Well- Vi’s pretty tired, so it might be a good idea…?”

“Thank you.  See?  They’re on my side, majority wins.”  There was some complaining, but the new rule was accepted fairly quickly in the interest of not having their new friends think they were mad at them.

“Oh well, that makes it my turn again… If we’re not doing dares anymore, I guess I can jump right in and ask someone a question, right?”  Patton hummed thoughtfully, considering his options.  “Hey, Virgil, what���s your favorite kind of cookie?  If you’re still awake over there…”

Virgil sat up straighter to answer, looking slightly insulted by the insinuation that he was falling asleep just because he was curled up with his eyes closed and hadn’t moved in a while.  Devon listened to his answer and started, confused.

“Snickerdoodles?  When did you even have snickerdoodles?”

Virgil merely shrugged with a mischievous little smile.

“Ohhh, I love those too!” Patton exclaimed.  “We should ask Thomas to get some for us next time he goes to buy snacks… oh, you guys didn’t really meet him, did you?  He’s really nice, you’d like him, and he gets snacks for everyone sometimes ‘cause he’s our dorm parent.  Shoot, I’m rambling,” he laughed.  “Sorry, Virgil, you can take your turn now!”

Virgil nodded and thought for a while.  Coming up with things was getting harder as his sleepiness grew.  Eventually he shrugged and indicated Logan.  “What’s your favorite animal?” Devon asked for him.

“Oh, that’s a difficult one, there are so many good choices… well, I don’t know if it’s my absolute favorite, but I think the octopus is very interesting.  Three hearts, no skeleton- so they can fit into tiny gaps and escape sometimes when they’re in captivity, and they absolutely will try if they get bored- and they can change colors to camouflage themselves.  Also, when they mate-”

“Wow, Logan, that’s neat!” Patton quickly interrupted.  “I like cats, myself.”

Logan was thankfully distracted from saying any more on the subject.  “You- you’re allergic to cats.”

“Well, yeah, but I like them!  They’re cute!”

Roman shifted, stretching out on the floor and propping himself up with his elbows.  “Bet I can guess Devon’s favorite.”

“Oh, shut up.”  Devon stuck his tongue out at him, which did not necessarily help his case.

“I believe it was my turn,” Logan reminded everyone.  “So, hmm… Roman, if you were to compliment, let’s say two of the other people playing, what would you say?”

Roman graciously refrained from pointing out how that was basically a sneaky rephrasing of a dare and Logan was already exploiting loopholes in his own rule.  He did, however, also refrain from choosing him as one of the two people he now had to say something nice to.  “Patton,” he proclaimed, throwing himself over said boy’s legs so as to make sure he had his attention, “you’re an absolutely wonderful friend and I love you.”

“Aww!”  Patton hugged him.  “You’re a great friend too, love you back!”

“And…”  He was determined to include one of the other two rather than Logan, but he didn’t exactly know them well enough to have much to work with.  “Uh- Devon, your face looks cool!”  It wasn’t the most original, he certainly knew what his own face looked like already, but it wouldn’t look good if Roman sat there for too long trying to come up with something complimentary to say.

Speaking of Devon’s face, it darkened instantly.  “Thanks,” he said with more bitter sarcasm than should have been able to fit in his small body.  “I know how stupid I look, alright, it’s not new information to me, so whatever you’re trying to pull you can just forget it.”

“Wait, no!  I wasn’t- I just genuinely thought it was cool, I didn’t mean to insult you, of course not!  I- hold on, who told you it looked stupid?  I’ll fight them,” he declared, seeming like he really did mean it.

Devon blinked, his scowl fading.  Okay, maybe he’d been a little quick to get defensive, but to be fair… “Uh… how about everyone?  If you actually think this looks good, you’d be the first… See, I used to look normal, but then something happened with my power so now it’s like this, and it’s easy to make fun of, so… yeah.”

“Then I suppose I shall have to fight everyone you’ve ever met.  By the way, what are you guys’ powers?”

“Well, I can shapeshift, only as you can see it hasn’t worked very well so far-” he rubbed his arm, embarrassed- “and Virgil… we’re not sure yet.  He’s not ready to try using it, whatever it is.  Was that your question, is it my turn now?”  Upon receiving confirmation, he turned to Patton.  “What’s so great about cats that you love them even though you’re allergic?”

Patton bounced excitedly, jostling Roman, who was still lying across his legs.  “They’re just so cute and sweet and soft, and they purr, and their little paws are so cute, with the toe beans, you know?  And when they like you they rub their little face on you and it’s just adorable!”

“Which is bad in your case,” Logan reminded him, “because then you have fur on you and have to change clothes because you are allergic to cats.”

“I know but still!”

“Hey, I have an idea,” Roman spoke up from the floor with a yawn.  “How about we stop the game and just have a conversation like normal people, because what we’re doing right now is just a conversation with extra rules and it’s getting sort of hard to follow.”

“You have a point,” Logan admitted, and everyone else nodded in agreement.

“Great, in that case I don’t have to wait to ask Devon why he acts like he’s never, like, seen a cat before?!”

“I’ve seen cats before,” he protested.  Which he had, just not in person that he could remember  “But this is a school, you don’t have cats in a school!”

“In our school you do,” said Patton, “they bring them in sometimes and if you’re having a bad day or you need to calm down you can go play with them.  Except I’m not allowed to anymore because they figured out about my allergies, so unless I start taking medicine I can only play with the dogs now.  Which are also great!  But I’m still kinda sad about the cats.”

“Weird.”

Logan tilted his head.  “So that’s one difference… are there other things we have here that your school doesn’t, or vice versa?  I suppose it’s probably hard to say since you haven’t seen much of ours.”

He thought about it.  “Another one is that we don’t really have a ‘dorm parent’ like you do… I mean, there’s adult supervision, they don’t just leave us to do whatever, but there isn’t someone actually called that.  And they definitely don’t take requests to go buy us snacks.  More of just someone being nearby all the time to make sure we’re not breaking rules… don’t think we’d get away with staying up talking this late either, they would’ve noticed and come told us to shut up and go to sleep by now.”

Patton frowned.  “They don’t sound very nice…”

“Yeah, well.  They’re nice to some people.  Not us, though.”  He unconsciously hugged Virgil, pulling him closer to his side.

“Well, you should just stay here, then,” Patton decided.  “Thomas is nice to everyone.”

Remembering something, Roman asked, “Is that why you hadn’t had Doritos before?”

“Yeah- I mean, kinda.  There’s stuff like that in the cafeteria sometimes, but then people take more than they’re supposed to and if you don’t feel like fighting to be at the front of the line there isn’t anything good left, and we’d probably just get hurt if we tried to do that since everyone literally has superpowers, so…”  Not to mention they got hurt quite enough as it was.  “Doesn’t seem worth it for chips or whatever.”

Virgil leaned up and whispered something.

“Oh, what?  Really?  Okay, apparently Vi gets cookies sometimes from Mr. Remy who works in the cafeteria because he thinks he’s too skinny.  Is that how you got snickerdoodles?  No fair, he doesn’t sneak me cookies.”  He was surprised Virgil hadn’t told him before.  He would have been surprised he hadn’t seen it, but they often weren’t scheduled to eat at the same time, being in different grade levels and all.

Patton gasped.  “We know him too!  And Thomas likes him but he won’t admit it,” he revealed, giggling.

“We’re trying to set them up,” added Roman, wiggling his eyebrows.  “I think we’re getting close, Thomas actually managed to say a full sentence to him last week!”

“What do you have other than that?” Patton asked.  “Does your cafeteria have the same foods we do?  Pizza and stuff?”

Logan side-eyed him.  “Are you hungry or something, Patton?”

“I just need to know!  ‘Cause if they haven’t had something we have then we need to bring it back for them tomorrow so they can try it!”

“Probably?  It’s just, y’know, normal cafeteria food.  Not amazing, but like, it’s edible and all.”

“Devon, I have a very important question for you.”  Patton scooted closer and looked him in the eyes.  “Do you have french fries shaped like smiley faces.”

He blinked.  “What?  No.  How would you- how does that even work?”

“You don’t?!”  He was much more distraught than the situation seemed to call for.  “Don’t worry, I’ll get them for you as soon as I can!”

“O… kay?  You don’t… have to-”

“Yes I do.”

He put his hands up in surrender.  “If you say so.  But, ah… can we stop talking about food now?  Because it’s kind of the middle of the night and we can’t actually get any of it until morning, and we’re not going to get very far anyway if you’re just going to list things off and ask if we’ve had them, and anyway I think Virgil is asleep for real now.”

“I think we should all go to sleep now,” Logan chimed in.  “At least the three of us who live here and have to be up early tomorrow.”

“Aw, I guess you’re right…”

“That’s fair,” mumbled Roman, who had faceplanted into the blankets.  He rolled himself slowly off of Patton’s legs and stretched.  They’d all been in the fort for at least a couple hours at this point, and he wondered vaguely why Devon and Virgil didn’t seem to mind being in the same exact position in their corner for so long.  “‘M going to bed.”

“Brush your teeth first,” Logan called after him as he left, having done so himself before they’d even sat down in the first place.  He’d sort of expected everyone to finish talking way sooner than they had.

“You can’t make me,” he responded.  “You’re not Thomas.”  He was already halfway in his bed at that point, given that it was approximately five feet away from the fort and he had the lower bunk.  (He would’ve argued for the top, but Patton had an unfortunate habit of floating in his sleep and winding up in the upper bunk regardless of where he’d started, so it was easier to just put him there in the first place.)

“Will you two be okay down here?” Patton asked Devon as Logan made his way out as well.  “Do you want more blankets, or water or anything?  I mean, there’s probably enough blankets since the whole fort is made of them, but if you’re cold I can find more… actually, are you comfortable being by yourselves, because I can stay with you if you want and then if you need anything you can wake me up, but I don’t want to be in your space too much…”

“Patton.”  Devon blinked at him tiredly, having only really heard about half of his fretting.  “We’re fine.  Go to bed.”  He adjusted a few pillows, making a cozy little nest for the two of them to sleep in, and flopped down with more than one blanket pulled over his head.  The conversation was clearly over.

“Okay, well, you just poke me if you need anything,” Patton said, leaving.  “Good night!”

“G’night…”  Devon curled up next to Virgil with a content sigh, just close enough to tell he was there without having to look.  Despite being in a strange place with people they’d only just met a few hours ago, he already felt more secure and comfortable here than he ever did normally.  There was so much to process about what had happened in those few hours he didn’t know where to start, but… it could probably wait.  He was tired, and warm, and full of junk food.  Time to follow everyone else’s example and go to sleep.

[sanderssons]

The Night of a Thousand Stars - Part 1/4

((A/N: Howdy there, my dudes! As a gift for reaching 1k, here’s a fic I wrote about our boys finishing school and going off to college (well, most of them). A little bit of context: here, they’re all 18. Logan finished school two years early and is now halfway through architecture (however this may change, I haven’t made up my mind completely))

((For whoever feels lost, this piece of fiction a sequel (you could say??? it’s not exacly a spin-off, since it’s in the same verse) to the events of my fancomic/fanfiction Sanders Sons, in which the Sanders Sides are Thomas’s children (and adorable) and it can be read from the start HERE))

((Tag List: @ccecode @hrtnsolofytube @jamie-the-outcast@multifandomsonofabitch (you thought I wouldn’t tag you just because you changed your URL, but I HUNTED YOU DOWN, I REFUSED TO NOT TAG YOU) @emeliethetimelady @parano-vigilant @sanderssidesstuff @glitterincluded @evanisonfire @procrastinatingwithglitter @creepy-cupcakes @anniemiku @morallogic @fandomsandnonsense7 @tinyten9 (still not able to tag you :( ) @justanotherpurplebutterfly @2manyfandoms2count-love @syafiindahouse (welcome to the list, sweetie!))

((I hope everyone got properly tagged... Let me know again if you asked to be tagged and I didn’t tag you. Or if you want to be tagged from now on. Or if you don’t want to be tagged anymore. Or if you are in the list but wasn’t notified. Or just to freak about the fic. Or just to say hi, I’m very civilized in internet online web chatting rooms))

“Logan, should I go to the school dance?”

Logan was taken by surprise. He had been working for a couple of hours now, trying to make sense of all of the terribly done blueprints he had to fix as an extra credit assignment for college. He jumped and looked up from his desk at Virgil, standing awkwardly in the doorway of his room, pulling on the sleeves of his hoodie, his stare on the floor.  

“I think you should knock on the door before coming in”

“I didn’t come in. I’m at the door. And that’s not an answer”

“Well...” Logan rolled his chair away from his desk to face his brother, rubbing his own face to try and wake himself up. “I think you hate loud music, you hate flashing lights and you hate crowds. Therefore, a school dance sounds like a really bad idea”.

“Ah. Ok”.

Virgil turned around and left. Logan got back to his desk, but before he could return to his concentration, Virgil barged into the room again.

“But what if I have a date?”

That made Logan immediately turn his chair back to the previous position. Virgil was still staring at the ground.

“Do you?”

“It’s a hypothetical question”, he crossed his arms, absentmindedly rocking himself back and forth on his heels.  

“I know it’s not.” Logan stood up, pulling him inside the room and closing the door so nobody else would hear. “Spill it”

“I don’t have any liquids to spill”

“Spill the truth. Do you have a date that wants to take you to this dance?”

Virgil raised his eyes and sighed.

“Yes.”

“So... Why are you asking me about what to do?”

“Because! I don’t want this to be a big deal” Virgil shrugged, his hands getting a bit unsettled inside his pockets. Logan could hear the clicking of his cube device for fidgeting. “It’s just me going on a date. And possibly facing three of the things I hate most about modern society. Plus Patton will scream. I don’t want that.”

“Well... Does it have to be the dance? Maybe you could go somewhere else in the night of the dance...”

“They called me for the dance... Won’t they be upset?”

“You’ll never know if you don’t ask.”

“I don’t like this. Maybe I should have a plan to propose already, so when I ask them to change plans it won’t be so scary.”

“Okay. We can make a romantic plan” Logan stopped himself, realizing how absolutely non prepared he was to prepare a romantic setting for his little brother.

“You don’t have any idea how to do that, do you?”

“Well, the only time I had to do romance, I just took them to things I wanted to see and luckily they had the same interests” Logan shrugged, picking up a pen and swinging it on his fingers. “You think you could do that?”

“I’m pretty sure they won’t want to go to the planetarium... Then a museum, maybe? It doesn’t sound very romantic...”

“Well, it can be if you two are in the mood... I don’t know, Virgil, Roman is the specialist in these kinds of things”

Virgil thought about it, starting to pace back and forth in Logan’s room. Now that Logan thought about it, he remembered hearing the same rhythm just a couple of minutes back in the next room. He must’ve been thinking for a long time before coming to him.

“If we tell Roman, he’ll freak out. Possibly scream. Bad idea.”

“Not to mention, Patton would be hurt it he knew everyone knows except for him”

“Yes, that, too. So we don’t have Roman on this one, we’re on our own”, Virgil looked at Logan, snapping his fingers. “Which means I have to try your method because I ran out of options”

“I’m not sure that’s what it means.”

“Nevermind. Be right back”

Virgil quickly left the room. Logan was unsure if he was supposed to follow his brother. He ended up deciding that no, Virgil wouldn’t want that, otherwise he would have said so. Still, Logan couldn’t go back to what he was doing before. Whatever project he was diving into before was nothing compared to his baby brother getting a date.

Of course, he was conscious Virgil and him had the same age. But he was two years ahead, he was already halfway through college. It was easy to to think of his brothers as younger, still caught up in very high-schoolish dilemmas. And even him had had a couple of dates and a kind of relationship before - despite his saltiness and general social inability - but Virgil had always been something else. It wasn’t easy for people to get to know him outside of family. And it wasn’t in Logan’s nature not to know the details of something so important.

Virgil came back a couple of minutes later to find Logan still in the same spot.

“I asked if they really want to go to the dance or if they would settle of a normal date instead”

“And?”

“They said a date would be fine. They just thought I wanted to go to the dance because I was talking about it”

“Why were you talking about the dance?”

“I was talking about the theme. It’s going to be A Night of a Thousand Stars. I made a joke. It was a funny one. Because you know, a thousand is not a lot, it’s a pretty okay night of stars. And they laughed. Then they asked if I had a date to go and I said no and they offered to take me”, Virgil realized he was rambling about it and bit his lower lip. “So, should I invite them for the museum? But what then? You can’t talk properly inside the museum, it’s not polite. We should go somewhere else after. And it can’t be here, everyone will be here...”

“Well... You guys could go for a picnic”, Logan suggested, the horrible feeling of curiosity lingering inside of him. “You love the park. Maybe if it gets dark you can stargaze together”.

“Hm... Sounds ok. But what if we get cold? What if they don’t want to stay after the museum?”

“You can take blankets... And make sure to ask if they want to”

Virgil nodded, the clicking of his cube intensifying.

“Looks like a solid plan. I’m going to do it. Be right-”

“Wait! Can you tell me who they are?”

“I can. But I won’t”

“Come on, Virgil! I helped you out! Plus, if something happened to you in this date only I knew about, father would kill me. Especially if it was someone I didn’t even know.”

Virge looked straight at his brother, squinting as if he was trying to see the possible implications this could have. Logan knew why he was hesitating so much. Everything about him always revolved around his autism. Of course Logan understood his need to have something casual, something teenage-ish and impulsive. Still, he couldn’t ignore the facts. Virgil was still his baby brother and he might need help.

“Fine. They work at the planetarium. We talked briefly over the course of the time I’ve been going there”, Virgil said, trying to be concise.

“What are they? Guy? Gal? Non-binary pal?”

“Nope. Not telling”, he shook his head, a hint of an amused smile showing in the corner of his mouth.

“Oh, come on!”

“Volume”, Virgil reminded calmly. “Listen, Logan. I’ll do everything right. I’ll call if I need anything. And I’ll leave your name on speed dial if they need to call someone for me. It will be fine. I promise”

“Well... Sounds like you have everything thought out. You sure about this?”

“I am. I haven’t been so sure about something in a long time.”

“Okay. I’ll trust you, then.”

“Thanks. I knew I could count on you, Logic”, Virgil turned around in his heels and left the room.

“Wait... Was that a nickname?!” Logan ran to the hallway, but Virgil had already closed his door.

((P.S.: Friendly reminder I’m taking suggestions, so if you ever wanted to see the boys do something, hit me up!))

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Crescent Scrapped Scene

Now that I released Chapter 6 onto Tumblr,  I wanted to share the rough draft of  the event that took place in that chapter. In the beginning, Crescent was only supposed to be an one-shot, and this scene before took place after what became chapter 1. 

The reason I scrapped it was that I felt like the scene was too rushed and left no time for Virgil to really interact with the others. I really wanted there to be a build-up to the character conflict that wasn’t really present in this draft. which of course this led to me writing like 15k+ to get to the finalized version of this scene, lol.

The main reason I wanted to share this with you guys, is to show how invaluable rough drafts can be, even if they don’t make the cut. There’s a lot of elements from this scene that I borrow to use in other chapters for the story. Never feel bad about writing a rough draft that ends up being unpublishable because there’s always things that you glean from it ^^’

The next thing Virgil is aware, is that he’s in an unknown bed with a splitting headache. Oh, and there’s three voices loudly arguing something at the foot of his bed. He’s half-attempted to throw a pillow at them to shut up, but he’s wake enough to realize that might not be the best idea. 

“Patton, it’s one thing to bring a stray kitten or baby bird into the den—but this? Is something else entirely different!” A man huffs, adjusting his glasses in frustration.

He reminded Virgil of a school teacher with the way based on his attire; black polo with a blue tie and khaki pants. The man towered over the two, with sticks for arms and legs.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree with Logan. We can’t keep him—he’s a human!”

“He’s just a pup—I couldn’t leave him alone, not after what happened to him!”

To say that Virgil is bewildered and absolutely terrified out of his mind, would be an understatement of the century. Maybe he really did die back there in that alleyway. Or maybe he’s in coma, close to brain-death. G*d, he hoped that the latter wasn’t the case. He did not have enough money to cover that hospital bill.

“Wh-what,” He croaks, his voice cracking from disuse. The others turn to face him, startled, as he wets his lips and tries again, “What’s going on?”

“Oh thank goodness you’re wake!” The one with the grey cardigan squeals, rushing towards his bedside, “I was so worried you’d wouldn’t!”

The man has apparently never heard of personal space, as he embraces Virgil in a hug. Virgil yelps a bit from the man’s surprisingly strong hold.

“Opps, sorry!” The man chuckles, loosening his hold a tad.

It’s then that Virgil notices that the stains on his shirt aren’t dirt, but blood. He starts shaking, which only causes the man to hug him longer and that causes Virgil’s heartbeat to quicken—

“Patton stop it, you’re scaring him,” Logan reprimands, placing a hand on his shoulder, and guiding him off Virgil.

Logan looks down at him and coughs awkwardly.

“I apologize on Patton’s behalf, his heart is in the right place but he has a habit of making…decisions without thinking things through.”

“I did think things through!” Patton whined, high-pitched and squealing, “He was all alone—what if he got attacked again? He needs protection!”

“You could’ve taken him to the police station or the hospital, for that matter.” Logan growled.

“Besides, he can’t join our pack—he’s a human.” The other spoke up, his eyes flashing with suspicion as he strolled closer.

There is something about the way he said human with such disgust snaps something inside of Virgil. He hates pompous stuck-ups who viewed themselves higher than everybody else.

“So what if I’m human?” Virgil spat out, “You guys are human, aren’t you?”

Patton avoids eye contact while Logan adjusted his tie as if suddenly finding the room too warm. Roman chuckles, resting his hands against the bed as he leans down to look at Virgil.

“Hardly.” He flashes a wide grin, and Virgil jolts backwards.

His teeth resemble fangs more than they do…well, teeth. Sharp and elongated in ways that isn’t natural. Virgil’s heartbeat raises. They can’t be real--they must be fake, right?

Virgil glances over to the other two, who don’t make a move to renounce Roman’s claim. Which, great. He thinks he might’ve preferred the mugging over this. At least that was rooted in realism. Everyone knew that muggings were common in closed-off places like that.

This, however was something else entirely. Of course, that was assuming these three weren’t off their rockers pretending to be vampires or some sh*t like that.

“Sooo what, are you..going to suck my blood or something?” He eventually asks, attempting to hide his panic under a layer of heavy sarcasm.

“What, no?!” Roman shrieks, looking indignant at such a suggestion, “We’re not vampires!”

“Then what are you?”

“We’re lycanthropes,” Logan says. At Virgil’s questioning stare, he clarifies, “Werewolves, essentially.”

“Right.” Virgil deadpans, “That makes complete sense.”

“What, is my teeth not proof of enough?” Roman snarls, and Virgil jolts once more.

He regathers his composure, desperate everything in him screaming to get up and flee—he needs to escape, he’s in danger, oh g*d he’s going to get his throat ripped out by three weirdos who think they’re werewolves.

But he ignores those thoughts. Today has already been effed up, what’s a little more at this point?

“How do I know those aren’t surgical implants?” Virgil points out, “I suppose you’re going to tell me that you can’t transform to prove you’re werewolves because it’s not that time of the month?”

“Actually, that’s a bit of misnomer. While the moon cycle does effect our transformations, we can transform at will.” Logan says, as if rattling off a highly known fact.

Virgil raises an eyebrow at him.

“Prove it then.”

“Oh-oh well, I would but I’d rather not ruin my clothes,” Logan muttered, “Roman, why don’t you?”

“Excuse me, this is designer clothing!” Roman exclaimed, “Why can’t you? You own like twenty of the same black polo!”

“I just thought that it should be you since—”

“I’ll do it.” Patton says, silencing the argument.

“Patton, you’ve already transformed once—”

“I’ll be fine.” He says.

He looked over to Virgil, smiling, “Please don’t get frightened. It will still be me inside there.”

“Okay,” Virgil says, staring at Patton as if he’s ready for the man to whip out a fur-suit. Fangs or not, there’s no way they can turn into living wolves.

Patton exhales and clenches his fists. At first, there’s nothing. But then he lets out a scream and drops to the floor, convulsing. Virgil immediately reaches out towards him, but a hand stops him.

“He’s transforming.” Roman said, keeping an iron grip on Virgil’s shoulder, “It’s not wise to try stopping a transition.”

Virgil wants to yell at him that this is ridiculous, there’s no such thing as werewolves and that Patton is obviously in need of medical attention. But one look at his face, and Virgil’s words die in his throat. Roman’s eyes avert towards Patton, and Virgil follows their gaze.

He exhales sharply, realizing with horror the figure on the floor was no longer Patton, but something else entirely. It’s hands were adorned with sharp claws, the fingers merged together to form paws, likewise with its’ feet. The head had become elongated—and it was still growing, along with the ears, as hair sprouts all over the body. No, not hair—fur. Snowy white fur. The creature screams in pain, sounding more and more animalistic as time let on. It’s skin seems to bubble as the bones shifts and morphs, as if rearranging framework to create a new creature entirely.

Virgil’s never seen Hollywood’s attempt at creating a werewolf transformation scene. But he’s sure whatever this is, is ten times more horrific to watch. His heart beats loudly against his chest, as if trying to drag his whole body away from the horror. He can’t tear his eyes away from the scene, knowing it’s his fault that this is happening.

He’s the one who egged them on, convinced them to show proof of their claims. He could’ve just pretended to go along with it, just enough for him to be able to escape when their backs were turned. He could still have a shred of reality left in him. But it’s too late now.

He’s so stupid. It isn’t until he watches the transformation that he realizes with a start how dangerous werewolves are. Isn’t it literature always portrays them as out of control creatures with no sense of humanity left in them. Raging creatures on the scale of Godzilla or King Kong. Or if they were sympathetically potrayed, they couldn’t control it, they lost their humanity to the beast inside them. Perhaps it wouldn’t kill Logan or Roman, but it was going to kill him. He can’t believe this is lot in life.

As he watches on, he realizes that Patton isn’t going to turn into a wolf-man hybrid, but an actual, living wolf. With more bone cracked into place, it sits up, silver eyes piercing into his soul.  Virgil moves his mouth to say something, but no sounds come out.

The wolf lunges towards him, and Virgil screams, closing his eyes shut. But instead of sharp teeth sinking into his skin, wet sandpaper brushes against his face. He slowly opens his eyes to see it’s the wolf assaulting him with tongue kisses, tail whipping around excitedly like a dog.

“Wha—”

The wolf jumps onto the bed, shaking it with its’ massive weight. He lays his front paws over Virgil, his head rest between his paws against Virgil’s chest.

“So,” Roman grins, “still think we’re off our rockers?”

[celestial-writespace]

Love?

I first fell in love when I was 15 years old. Or so I thought it was love. 

I remember being in 10th grade. I was just the typical, outgoing, kind of nerdy but extroverted, average-looking girl who was sort of desperate for acceptance. I hung out with my friends a lot, watching band gigs and horror movies at someone’s house every once in a while. I was content with that kind of life because that was all that I and my friends had ever known. Dating and crushes were never in the picture. After all, I attended an all-girls exclusive school. Who was there to crush on, right? However, as a tradition in our school, we were required to have an interaction activity with an all-boys school. During the activity, we met the boys from one of the classes of Lourdes School of Mandaluyong. I didn’t have much male friends at that time, so I definitely looked forward to that event, hoping I’d make some friends or, you know, maybe finally have a crush on someone. That sounded interesting. Sadly, when that day came, and I didn’t really bond with any of them strongly. They were… ok. Not the ok with –ay as in okay, or the ok in all caps as in OK, but just ok. Definitely, my expectations were let down. Nonetheless, my friends seemed to be fond of the boys. They all had their own male besties, and soon, some of them developed a romantic relationship. No doubt, I felt left out BIG TIME. They would have conversations about boys, and I just couldn’t relate. I tried so hard to be friends with some of their friends, too. But you could say that I was a clueless pigeon when it comes to interaction with the opposite sex. I was really awkward. Not a real-life conversation with one of those boys came by without me causing a dead awkward silence, which caused them to pay more attention to my friends instead of me. Still, I needed that sense of belonging. Summer came, with no luck in gaining any new friends. The only thing I ever looked forward to was church. Every Saturday I went to Youth Service, where an announcement caught my attention. “Youth Camp 2016: PASSION. Registrations are now open,” it read. I decided not to make any remarks about it to my dad first, since I knew it was going to be announced the next day anyway at Sunday service. So, the next day, the announcement came on, and my dad encouraged me to join, as well as my 25-year-old sister. As the announcement came on, I looked around at each family that attended the service, looking for anyone in each family that I could invite to youth camp. Also, maybe I could make some friends, right? So, there I was, looking around. This one guy then catches my attention, like he did every week. We’re not friends, nor have we EVER talked, but I knew his name was Marc because I guess you could say that I’ve been asking around. On that day, he wore a school shirt and some dark blue shorts with his classic all-white Nike. His shirt read “LSGH Airforce,” and it was then when I found out he was a dancer. He was so cool. I wish I could be a dancer, too. This sparked up my interest in him. I always thought that he was the type of guy I’d probably get along with, but no. I knew how awkward I was around boys and I couldn’t afford to embarrass myself in front of him, and for that reason, I decided to just let it pass. The day of the camp came. You’d think this was where all the flirting started. Well, it did, but not for me and Marc. You see, I attended camp with my sister, my beautiful sister. She didn’t really attend church before this, so it wasn’t long before she was the center of attention for everyone. “Uy, I didn’t know you had a pretty sister pala,” they would call out to me, most likely in hopes that I’d introduce them to her. But she was 25 and had a boyfriend. She was already a lawyer, too. Everyone else in the camp was around 16-21 years old, and I knew my sister’s type. What I didn’t know was Marc’s type. During the camp, I didn’t really notice anything off. Let’s just say that camp wasn’t very interesting in terms of friendship or relationship drama. However, during the last day as we were about to go home, I went to look for my sister, hoping to borrow her power bank. Sadly, I didn’t get to borrow her power bank because my attention had been caught by the way Marc stood there, happily conversing with - you guessed it - my sister. The whole bus trip they were together, even at the stopovers. Yes, I was somewhat jealous, but I wasn’t hurt. I always kept in mind that my time will soon come. However, I didn’t know that it’d come so quickly after that camp. Upon coming home from camp with my sister, I received a friend request from Marc. It weirded me out, knowing how we never talked the entire three days at camp, and him showing absolutely no interest in even being acquaintances with me. Then he suddenly sent me a friend request? I concluded that he just wanted to be Facebook friends with me to get more info about my sister. However, that idea was overruled by my hidden admiration for him. With permission from my sister, I clicked accept. And within 3 minutes, I received a message from him. “Hiii,” it read. I got excited, but the thought that he probably just wants to get on my good side to get to my sister kept reappearing. I told my sister about it, and she told me that I should make friends with him because he was more my age. So, with her consent, I replied. That night, we had a fun conversation, talking about our hobbies, past crushes, and such. However, the thought of him just using me to get to my sister remained in my head. I tried to tease him about my sister in hopes of getting him to finally admit. But he never did. We talked all evening. The next day, I received a good morning message from him. This was the first time a guy ever greeted me good morning. Oh, how my heart raced upon waking up and seeing that message. Not long after, we started talking every day. After a week, we hung out. We went to this escape room in Katipunan together with my friend. After failing to solve the escape room, we went to UP Town Center and enjoyed some karaoke at Timezone. My friend approved of him, and I was more than happy that I was finally getting a love life. We chatted and chatted all day long for about a week until he told me that he was migrating to the US. My heart skipped a beat. I was about to cry. “If he’s leaving then what’s the sense of all this? Why?” I thought. “Joke,” he said right after. I can’t believe my world almost shattered upon knowing that this guy, whom I’ve just been talking to for about a week, was going to migrate. This was when I figured out that I was developing some sort of attachment to him. Though he wasn’t migrating, he was going to the US for a vacation with his brother. Even if it was only temporary, it still saddened me a lot that I actually cried. A few days before he left was his birthday. I felt that things were somewhat escalating between us so I thought it was just proper that I gave him something, right? Wrong. I went to this sports outlet store near my school and decided to get him an original Nike T-shirt. I couldn’t get him anything fake because he was rich, and it’d be embarrassing, so I ended up spending over 1,500 for a white T-shirt that had the word “Nike” on it. He was thankful for it, and he did appreciate it, even saying that I didn’t really need to get him something like that. Why I thought it was a mistake, however, was that the next month was my birthday, but he was on vacation in the US at that time. Though I was really expecting something from him when he came back, there was nothing. It saddened me, but I shrugged it off. I didn’t want to ruin his perfect image in my mind, because I truly believed he was this complete teenage dream boy. Trust me, I was so successful in keeping this image of him for about 9 months. We used to see each other weekly, always at the same place, UP Town Center, but only because he lived in Katipunan. We watched movies together, and I even remember when I almost gave him my first kiss, but the word is “almost.” It didn’t happen. I remember being so jealous of all the other girls that he’d mention on Twitter, obsessively stalking these girls to see if I should be insecure about them. At one point, I wanted to make him jealous, too. So, I changed my friend’s name in my contacts to a guy’s name and I had her text me stupid things while I was out with him. It was pathetic, but it worked. I sat beside him while we were out eating with my best friend, and he was looking at my phone. He asked me to whom I was talking to, and i thought it was the cutest thing ever. Prom season came, and of course, I wanted to take him. The expenses were expensive though. It was an extra 2,500 pesos for the date, and I was going to pay for all that. It was a lot, and a part of me knew he didn’t deserve it, but nothing else would have made my night better, so I arranged a “promposal” for him the moment I had already saved up for that prom ticket. As usual, we went out on a Friday night. We watched a movie, and I can even remember what movie it was. It was Logan. But while we were doing that, my best friend arranged an agreement with the baristas at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, and handed the signage I made on a ½ illustration board reading “Marc, Cruz with me to prom?” After watching the movie, I told him that I wanted to get coffee, and that I was going to meet my best friend. We went to the cafe, and as I received my order, the barista loudly spoke, “One prom date for Mayumi,” and she revealed the signage I made while my best friend recorded the whole event. He was shy about it, but he was smiling. I asked him “Marc, Cruz with me to prom?” while laughing and trying not to be so shy about it. He was smiling when he said yes, and then we had our picture taken together. It truly was a memorable night, and I can still feel the butterflies I once had. Though I ended up not going to prom at all, that promposal was worth it. I never thought I’d have the guts to ask a guy out for prom like that in public, but it was something I’d never forget. We didn’t end up together, if you were wondering, because I had strict parents, and he didn’t want that. We stopped talking a month after that promposal. That was also when I realized how petty our whole relationship was, but I could never regret it. It was my first crush, but would I call it love? Probably not, even if we both said our I love you’s. I was caught up in the rush of it all, pushing me to admit feelings I didn’t feel. I first knew it wasn’t love when I truly fell in love but that’s a different story now.

[despair-parade]

CHAPTER ONE: Tropical Snapshot by the Bay: (Ab)normal Days {2}

I wanted to wake up and think everything was a dream. Logan would be waiting for me with breakfast prepared. Jane lecturing me about sleeping in late and how we now had to run to school to get there on time.

For a minute I thought I was, this place looked so much like my room at home I mistaken it for the real deal, but that was an impossible fantasy because I was still on this ship. The window over the couch and table showed nothing but the dark inky sea that lulled the ship back and forth. I recline back into my bed and stare up at the ceiling with a blank face. I cover my eyes and press the palm of my hand against my eyelids causing me to make spots.

I sigh deeply and let my hands fall to my sides with a loud flump sound.

Slowly, I rise from bed clad in nothing but my boxers and kick the dirty clothes from yesterday into a corner for the time being. A moment later I decide to collect my jacket and head over to the closet to get clean clothes for the day. Clean clothes in hand, I enter the bathroom beyond the frosted glass walls and door.

Standing under a stream of hot water, I stare at the showerhead and slowly, my vision begins to blur, and there’s a strange sound echoing all around me. . . and that’s when I realize. .  . It’s me. I’m crying. Crying like a goddamn baby. But, I couldn't stop myself from crying and whimpering.

I sit in the tub, pulling my knees to my chest in my pitiful state. I just hoped so much that it was all a dream. A cruel and terrible dream. I hope that this was a dream so much.. . . that even my parents death was a dream. I hoped everything was.

I’m so terrified. . .

I want to be home. I want to go home where all of my siblings are . . . to where I’m safe.

As Monoko said, Theodore woke up this morning without memories of what happened prior to today. Thankfully -- if that’s even the right word for this situation-- on Yuuki’s advice, he pre-wrote a note to himself in his notebook about the events going on right now.

At first he took it as a joke so others tried to reason with him and explain the situation but it seemed only Yuuki’s words reached him. The reality of the situation was a heavy blow for him. Yuuki gazed upon him with kind warm eyes that made him flush once more and invited him into her room for breakfast à la carte.

Speaking of breakfast, I began to make way to the dining hall but I ran right into Kaydena. Face first into her neck and torso. I jump away, red in the face.

“S-Sorry. I wasn’t looking!” Her face is completely blank, her purple eyes staring directly at me. Guessing she’s trying to stare at me so I would run off. I swallow a lump, slowly sliding along the wall to get past her, but, to my surprise, she suddenly grabs my face. I feel my face heating up and try to look away but she returns my gaze back to her’s.

“You were crying.” It wasn’t a question but, surprisingly, her voice was soft. I glance down to my feet when she releases my face.

“Y-Yeah.” She places a hand on my shoulder and I lift my head, confused. Her face is still void of emotions but her voice is still soft.

“Understandable. Many of us here would have faced odd experiences or trials in the past but your ID made it clear you came from a normal average life. This quite a change from what you consider to be normal. So, don’t feel bad to embrace your feelings, it’s healthy but you must remember not to drown in them.”

“O-Oh. Alright. Thank you Kaydena. . .” I laugh a little as I scratch at my cheek. She nods her head and turns away to exit. I awkwardly, and quickly, follow after her. “Y-You know. You’re way nicer than I thought you would be. . .” She stops and gives me a curious look.

“Oh? Really now?” I sweat a little.

“I-I mean, it’s a good thing. Y-You really know how to keep a leveled head and, like, you’ve been really nice and everything. And super understanding. You even do a good job of taking the role of a team leader. When we first met, I just. .  . wasn't sure how to react when you said you were an assassin. It sure was a surprise.” Kaydena laughs a little.

“I see, but truth be told, I haven’t changed much from who I was before I became an assassin.”

“Really? Well, that sounds good. Like, its good that you didn’t lose yourself to the power?” She smiles, a bit melcoholy.

“I suppose so. Others are not that lucky it seems.”

Others aren't lucky. . . I wonder did Kaydena lose someone as an assassin? Maybe that’s why she seems standoffish?

Well, I figure I won't get any answers any time soon as we head to the dining hall in silence. There seemed to be some sort of commotion going on at one of the tables. It turned out it wasn’t a fight as I thought first. But, instead, it was Caine with a . . .bird. I guess a hawk judging by appearance.

“Canie, where did you get this bird from?” Kaydena asks with a puzzled expression. The bird couldn't have flown onto the ship, we’ve already established there was some shield around this ship or something.

“Surprisingly, I found Lucy in my room!” Caine smiles, petting the bird lightly. She nuzzled against his hand and relaxed.

“. . .Lucy?”

“Yes. She’s a Northern Goshawk I took care off when she was young. Every time I tried to release her she would come back to me. She became my constant companion while hunting. I didn't think she would be here too, so I was worried for a while. I’m just glad my old companion is safe.”

“I see. Well, at least she is tamed so we won’t have to w-”

“Birds are cool.”

The words came out faster than I could think or even will myself to stop. I can feel all eyes on me, wondering why I just blurted that out, and my face glows a violently bright red color.

Why did I say that?

That’s so dumb to say. Dumb to just. . . yell it! I even interrupted Kaydena to say something so stupid as that.

I am just getting worst and worst at making good first impressions on the others.

After that, we didn't see Monoko that often. It was more like rare chances, like if you skipped out on dinner or something. She was still there to collect trash or laundry. I caught her in the act of performing her job once, she ended up staring at me with that one golden eye until I exited the area.

It was very unsettling.

Seeing Monoko was still just a chance. I happened to come to the library to pass time to walk in on the scene of Suki and Monoko talking. From my spot at the bottom of the staircase I could see that Suki looked terrified of something, probably relating to whatever Monoko said to her, but the Margay didn't seem to care at all. She just gleefully trotted down the stairs and out of the library, quietly closing the door after her.

I walked up the stairs to the second floor landing to find that Suki had changed locations so she was now sitting in an armchair, shaking and trembling with wide eyes. By the looks of things whatever Monoko said really got to her.

“Suki?” At first she finches at the sound of my voice. She looks up to me. It seems to take her a moment to register who I am and then a smile spreads across her weary features.

“Oh, Crimson-kun. . .” She lets out a shaky breath and color seems to return to her face. She jumps up to her feet and starts to sway in her spot. “What brings you here?”

“I, uh, wanted to look at the books here. I never got a chance to look at them before.” I glance and point over my shoulder for a moment. My arm returns to my side and I sigh. “Are you okay?”

“Hmm?”

“I mean,” I awkwardly rub the back of my neck. “you looked. . . bothered and you were talking to Monoko. Did she. . . say something to you?”

“No, no. Everything is fine Crimson-kun! Monoko surprised me. That’s all!” She seems to have that usual cheer and enthusiasm but. . . there’s still something off.

In the end I chose not to ask. After all, I don't think it’s my place to push it out of her and force her to talk. I decide to shift subjects. I’ve been wondering why she keeps adding on these words to names and referring some of us by our last names.

“Uhm, Suki,”

“Yes?”

“Why do, uh, do that thing where you call some of us by our last names and add on words to our names?” She smiles and reaches over to pat the armrest of the chair next to her. Understanding the meaning behind her actions I take a seat.

“In Japan surnames are important, so it's usually proper to refer to someone by their last name to show them proper respect.” Suki begins to explain. “The titles added at the end of a person’s name is called a honorific. In Japan we have many of these and they’re used to refer or to address a person. There is ‘-san’ which is like the English ‘Mr.’, ‘Ms.’ or ‘Mrs.’.”

“I see. That’s interesting.” I beam. “I always wondered what those titles would sound if they were spoken elsewhere in the world.” I pause for a moment. “What does ‘-kun’ mean although?” Suki giggles.

“‘-kun’ has many uses and meanings. A person with a senior status can use it to refer to a someone who is a junior. ‘-kun’ is also used among boys and girls when addressing their friends, mostly male friends although. It can be used for girls too! ”

“I see. That’s very interesting.” Suki smiles once more.

“I’m glad to know you think that.” Suki gets to her feet and brushes the wrinkles out of her skirt. She runs down the stairs, waving over her shoulder and winking goodbye. “Maybe I can tell you more in the future.☆ Bye.☆”

That event left me worried. Suki was clearly worried aboutsomething. . . but I couldn't do anything for her. It didn't feel right to force it out of her. . .

Still, Monoko was scarcely seen for days. It was a comfort but also a frightening thing. Where was she? What did she do when she wasn't bothering us or serving us food?

Monoko was a frightening entity all together. . .

The air of peace around us all was thin and it remained that way until we reached day three of our imprisonment. One afternoon Monoko called us all to the dining hall with the threat of punishment if someone was late and so, everyone reluctantly gathered in the dining hall within ten minutes as she demanded.

It eerily felt the very first day all over again. Everyone uneasily sitting at the tables, waiting for something to happen but the worst part was, we had a vague idea of what would happen.

Monoko.

And as if she was waiting for a cue, she suddenly walked out on stage and did a split, causing the spotlights to shine on her and confetti to fly. Just like the first time she appeared before us.

“Good evening my passengers!” She greets. No one speaks, too uneasy and afraid to do so. Monoko furrows her brows and repeats herself, in a booming voice. Everyone manages to spit out a greeting this time around, though it was clear a number of them were reluctant. “What a poor crowd. . . you all sound so gloomy! I guess it’s a good thing I brought your motives today!”

“. . .Motive?” Ophelia softly repeats.

“The show is boring.” Monoko shrugs, somehow. “I would have expected someone to die by now! So, to get things rolling here’s the very first motive for our despairing cruise!” Monoko walks off stage and returns in a matter of minutes with a stack of white paper envelopes. She proceeds to rip one right open and removes a neatly folded sheet of paper.

“The Varis Times,”

Monoko has no smile but I can tell she’s smirking as my body goes rigid with fear and I begin to tremble.

That’s the local paper. . .

Why does she have that. . . What kind of motive could this possible be. . .?

“Tragedy after tragedy strikes the Crimson family yet again!

It began with the senseless and horrific murder of Varisbellum’s most beloved and hardworking officer, Aaron Crimson, and his beloved wife, Marissa. The couple was sharing dinner together before they were horrifically maimed and disfigured to the point no one could recognize who they once were.

Somehow, despite their neighbors being home at the estimated time frame of death, not a soul could hear their horrific screams as they were tortured to death. Ultimately the scene of the crime was discovered by the couple’s younger son, Pierce, who arrived home early that day and unleashed a terrible scream that finally alerted the neighbors of the crime that occurred under their nose.

However, when a neighbor rushed to the family home to investigate the sounds, Pierce was nowhere to be found but there were clear signs of a struggle as his school bag and supplies were found strewn on the floor, implying he was taken captive by his parents murderers.

Things for the family took a turn for the worse, yet again, when the body of Jane Crimson, the twin sister of the missing Peirce, was found in the forest behind the Saint Christine Church. Thankfully, the young woman was found alive and rushed to the hospital where it was discovered she suffered a variety of abuse and has suffered enough physical abuse that would prevent any chance of her regaining any mobility on her own, ever again.

Up until yesterday, the older brother of the two siblings, Logan, was on the case of their parents -- which reportedly has hit a dead end with no plausible explanation for how or why it occurred in the first place -- has remained at her side in the hospital since then. The Varis Police has found a potential suspect in the case of Jane’s assault but they have yet to be arrested.

The city of Varisbellum offers prayers the family, many individuals offering donations and a helping hands to the family in need.”

The dining hall was dead silent. It almost felt suffocating because I was so aware that I was surrounded with all sorts of expression -- pity, sympathy, shock, horror, disgust and utter rage -- but, I wasn't even sure what was on my own face.

I . . . I never saw the full extend of the injuries done to my parents. All I remember was screaming and the world going black. . .  then, waking up here on this ship. It feels like salt in the wound now because of Monoko reading a news article, telling me exactly what’s happening to my family right now.

God.

I know I wanted to know what was going on . . .! But, all of that was too much! Logan is probably crying and utterly torn up, not only are our parents dead, Jane is in the hospital and I’m on this hellish ship.

How would we afford the bill? And even the bills for therapy? Could insurance even cover all of this? How was he supposed to care for her at a time like this? Would she need a live-in maid or something? Would he even trust anyone to be near her now?

There’s a sudden loud bang on the table I’m sitting at, snapping me out of my internal turmoil.

“That shit isn't real!” To my shock, it’s Alen. He’s glaring at Monoko, as if challenging her to prove him wrong. . . She stares at him for several seconds before jumping across table tops to reach our table. She looks him dead in the eye as she places a photo, face down, on the table’s surface.

My fingers tremble as I carefully pick it up. Immediately, I clutch my chest and squeeze my eyes shut, desperately trying to erase the image from my mind. . . but, it fails. It’s a photo of Jane laying in a hospital bed, wires and tubes attached to her, and her face all bandaged up. She looks horrible and Logan looks no better. . . He’s sitting at her bedside, looking tired and haggard, tears trailing down his face as he holds onto her hand, pressing it to his forehead in a prayer, begging for her to wake up.

“. . .Why?” I find myself asking, trying my hardest to prevent tears from spilling. “Why would you show this to me?”

“You’re not special.” Monoko spits. Disgust and amusement is so clear in her tone and it makes me cringe. “I have something special for everyone. I just wanted to read yours out loud so everyone could understand the motive.”

“What’s the fuckin’ motive then?!” Sherry demands furiously. Rosaline’s attempts to calm her has failed rather horribly. “‘Cause all I’m seeing is you acting like a little bitch!” Monoko effortlessly flips into the air, the spotlights follow her the entire time, and lands on the table the couple shared.

“Family and friends.” Monoko explains rather simply, poking Sherry’s nose like she’s talking to a child. “Everyone has an envelope containing something that tells the current situation about their friends and-slash-or family. Is it true? Is it false? Who knows. The only way you’ll know is if you ‘Return to Main Land’.”

. . . Return to Main Land.

The only way that is possible is if. . . you kill and outsmart everyone else . ..

So, she was tempting us with information about terrible things, that just may be true, about the people we cared about the most.

One after another, Monoko hands out the envelopes and I can see the fear and horror sink into people’s faces and anger flicker on some faces. . . But when Monoko finally approaches Yuuki, she has no other envelopes to hand out. Yuuki gently smiles but Monoko simply stares at her. It’s a bit unnerving.

“Given how your own family does not care, it seems the world is a more appropriate hostage for you.” For a moment, pain flickered in Yuuki’s eyes but she quickly steels her resolved and smiles.

“Yes, I suppose so. We are all children under the protection of the Kamikaze. . . but I exist to help remind those in need.”

“. . .Gross.”