#maybe he dies and honestly?????? i would be heartbroken but. think ab what that would do for the story

[mississpissi]

the thing about Steve Carlsberg is that by not being Cecil or Carlos he has less plot armor and that frightens me

ok yes but it’s so juicy

what happens if lubelle tries to explain steve?

steve isn’t prone to violence unless you’re going to mess with his family, but let’s say they meet under innocent circumstances. what if he tries to explain to her what he knows? what if he tries to show her the beauty of the inexplicable, the beauty of night vale? she can’t see it, won’t see it- so what then?

so she does try to explain steve, explain his intricacies, explain why he can see and understand what no one else does- what then? does he cease to understand? does she understand more?

what is the reality of the lines and arrows in the sky- are they really there? does steve actually see and know what he says he does? or is he simply seeing things that don’t exist like everyone else has told him his whole life?

if, in the worst case scenario, whatever she explains becomes true and steve suddenly is just hallucinating, or a conspiracy theorist, or however she explains away what he says- what changes for him? if lubelle tells him the same thing everyone has been telling him for years, does it do anything? his own wife brushes him off when he tries to share with her, his step daughter is uninterested, he’s been blasted on public radio by his brother in law.

maybe it’s naive of me, but i think steve would be okay.

would night vale survive, though? would huntokar? the messages in the sky, the truths that are mapped out, would those cease to exist? cease to be true? i think that’s more concerning than whatever lubelle could try to do to steve. he might be a bit hurt, but what would it mean for what he actually did understand?

and what if she is unable to explain steve? what if he is able to stand his ground because of his experience with being dismissed, with being told he is crazy? it wouldn’t be new for him, people trying to explain to him why what he sees isn’t real. maybe she moves on to threatening his family, to threatening janice, or cecil and carlos. maybe then he stands his ground, fights back. maybe he pushes with aggressive compassion and helps her understand, helps her see that night vale is what it is because of all that can’t be explained. maybe they both explode! idk but i just. i think steve is in such a unique position here no matter what she does, a unique position no one else can come close to. it’s kinda fun!!!

[magnumdays]

Magnum PI 3.10 - The Long Way Home review

Season 3! Doing it again, being amazing and just killing it! Damn!

So we got three separate stories going on this week and unlike some of the episodes in season 2 where I just felt like there was too much going on and nothing really connected when they gave everyone separate story lines I really enjoyed this. (I mean nothing still connects thematically but at least all the stories are super engaging.)

We got the Higgins and Ethan plot, which is cute and totally works to give us some Higgy back story (YES THANK YOU! Juliet did go to boarding school BUT she wasn’t quite as fancy as the other kids and broke in to the library at night!! Why did it take us 3 seasons to learn this and why do I love it so much!) 

This episode also (for me at least) shows very clearly Ethan is falling for Juliet. But Juliet isn’t in love with him. 

Like legit, she’s super attracted to him (I mean come on, those abs are no joke and he’s got fab floppy hair) BUT it’s more the idea of him than him, I think? I at least don’t see her giving him heart eyes the way she does with Magnum. And the way Ethan does with her. 

(This is a “Oh he’s so fine I want to lick him” not a “Oh he’s attractive but also the person I connect with on every level and trust with all I am” look).

I’m saying this both because I’m wearing my rose colored Miggy glasses and even if you’re not on team Miggy you have to admit the likely hood of him sticking around much in season 4 is fairly low. And I don’t think they’ll give us heartbroken Juliet, so she can’t really fall in love with him.

I did LOVE when she smacks him with the paper because he did the crossword puzzle without her. That was so adorable! And I do like that they have that one thing in common, because what else do they have? 

Honestly couldn’t they have shown them playing golf together? Something more than eating and lying in bed together - which come on, everyone likes eating delicious things in bed! I feel like I’m waiting to see the actual moment they connect about something they share. Was that the “boarding school/ I tried to please everyone” bit? Because that didn’t scream connection to me.

Seriously, they had to give them a case so they’d have something to do (I mean of course they did, it’s a mystery show but still). I think if we’re legit supposed to see Ethan as a possible real love interest we worry about they need to give him/them something more to connect over. This was their chance to do that. And they didn’t. So in that way, I’m glad we got this, because it was just... Ethan saying he likes her, not them actually showing us why they’re a good match for each other.

(It’s like when you’re dating a guy and he’s all “I like you so much” but then when you’re sitting down and eating dinner or something, once you talked about your day and the weather it’s all awkward silence and you have to fill it with more boring small talk or kissing. Because else it would just be embarrassing sitting there in silence... #notspeakingfromexperinceoranything)

Though I didn’t like their end scene when Juliet was all “You were good at this, if he’s not careful Magnum might find himself replaced” even though she’s obvs not serious but still... it just hits a little too close to home right now!

Moving on we have the Gordon & Dennis (that’s his kids name right? suddenly I’m not sure...) Which is also adorable, at least to start, but then actually goes into something pretty deep about trust and having a father who is a cop in a time where that is problematic and just showcases how it’s not easy being a parent or a teen and at the end they just got to have a nice father/son moment and it was nice. Totally unconnected but it still worked well! Why do I also enjoy the fact that Gordy loves the food network? 

(Though I am I’m upset TC eats ketchup on is steak though. I’m not sure I can ever see him the same way again.)

Then for the actual PI/ Magnum plot. And having just watched a video on how the US military sponsors a bunch of TV shows and movies to get recruits and why this is problematic because they always makes the military come out looking good, I felt like I was going to be more of a skeptic and maybe even a little annoyed by this bit.

But I was NOT! I loved it! Like Magnum having to do some actual PI work, the fact that it was not all roses and sunshine and then having Magnum tell us the story about the interpreter that was sick and didn’t get snatched and just making a friend and being the awesome guy he is and offering to be there for him and then having him watch Liam get united with his family. Just all the feels we got! It was great. 

And the boys working together! It just worked beautifully. Much better than the episode last year when they did a full on boys-team up, at least in my opinion, that one felt a little forced (think it was actually 2.10). 

My only like “I’m not buying this” was the parents who were just fine with their son being dead almost? Who is happy their son wanted to be a hero and in the military the day after he died? Even if that’s their normal/ once they got over it personality, right after? 

IDK, that annoyed me a little, but still. I really like that they’re trying to showcase some of the less than great aspect about serving. Because it’s not all rainbows and puppies either during or after serving. And we got little hints of that. 

So I loved this episode...but I missed the Miggy!

One call! That’s all we got? Come on! But at the same time, this episode worked so well, I can’t be mad about it.

I could have lived without the Ethan being all “I’m serious, I really like you” at the beach and exchanged that scene for one when Juliet comes back to Robin’s Nest and is all like “I see you managed without me” and Magnum would be little smug “I did, how was your vacation?” “I actually solved a mystery of my very own. Well sort of a mystery...”. I think that would have been pretty cool! 

But I do like it ending with Magnum watching the guy with his family, having been reunited and maybe we do see some longing in his eyes to have that too. IDK, maybe I’m just reading into things. But we do have the baby episode coming up in a few...

Side note:

OMG the ending on MacGyver this week! I can’t believe it but I’m more excited for MacGyver next week than Magnum and that is saying something because I’d almost decided to stop watching MacGyver!

[hedgefairy]

Eeeey, we haven't had another episode of Bridgerton recaps in a while! But here we are, it's

Bridgerton, Episode 5

(if you missed the rest, the tag is #Bridgerbore)

Okay, so I dig the whole muddy hem business (short reminder, we were at this duel thing last time, and Daphne was very much a dramatic Regency heroine, throwing herself into the fire and everything), but I'm really not sure about her undies.

Lady B has a hangover, which is hilarious, and Daphne comes in like "I'm engaged", to Dukey, of course, they all annoy me so much. Cue Lady B fanning herself, and then Daphne goes on about how they want to marry NOW, because THE KISS and it would be such a scandal if that ever came out? I don't think society would mind if you stayed engaged for a while longer, I don't think anyone cares, you self-obsessed brat. Mummy thinks they had steaming hot intercourse and that's why they want to marry ASAP, and apparently that's the best hangover cure that there ist. (I'm not a fan, hangover Lady B was more sufferable than the usual version.)

The queen wears bright red gems with pink silk and it does not look fly at all.

The blue dress Daphne's wearing is pretty for once.

Her rival (CRESSIDAAAAA) and her mother smirk at each other in a carriage because they are scheming, and evil, and we can see that because they are dressed flamboyantly and have complex hairstyles. Also, Cress saw D&D kiss and now they can destroy her or something.

Oh poor Freddie Baby, he's just the cutest but he's about to take his leave because Daphne was the only girl he liked, like, ever, because she's such a diamond of the purest water, adieu, sweet prince.

Everybody keeps promenading without coats or spencers and I'm all "noooo", because it just looks so wrong. Someone give Daphne a stole or a cardigan, it's doesn't even seem particularly warm outside. Her hat also sucks (is that a fascinator? I demand bonnets!), but at least it's not the stupid Wendy bow, so I guess that's progress?

Lord B gets slammed in the face with the door by the dressmaker because Opera Girl up and left. See, Lord B, that's because you're a little bitch and she's done with your shit.

Ducktail Colin visits Cousin, and Penny desperately tries to cockblock him. It's somewhat painful to see, but also strangely realistic (I guess that's why it's painful).

Uuuh, we get a kitchen scene in preparation for the wedding! I love it. Also, the servants are annoyed by all of this, just like me. I hereby petition to replace at least 75% of the D&D (hell, make it all Bridgertons) appearances by Regency food porn.

At the dressmaker's workshop Cressida (who I still think is prettier than Daphne) bitches about and Daphne bitches back, why is no-one wearing bonnets?

The next Whistledown issue is out as Freddie takes his final bow just to leave me heartbroken because he genuinely didn't suck. The Queen bitches, what else is new.

The Archbishop says the early wedding is a no-no, and I still suspect that it's a general case of making things more dramatic than they have to be. Oh, turns out it's the Queen who's the spanner in the works because she didn't get enough attention lately.

Back to the Bohemian party! Yay! It's a fucking bacchanal and I love it. French dressmaker lady is there, too, cut to her and Middle Bridgerbro having a heated make-out session. Aaand the host is at least bi – they find out by barging in on him and his lover during what I guess is the quest for an unoccupied bedroom. Threesome time!! (Her stays are more than questionable, though)

Dukey is completely drunk in the gutter because they kicked him out of the pub. I approve. Not sure of what of the above, probably all.

Cousin plots to seduce Ducktail Colin so she can get him into marrying her. Lady F is in, but Penny eavesdrops (heartbrokenly).

Whoooo, it's George III! Him and Charlotte discuss the Regent but sadly George IV still does not feature. Another child (Amelia) is discussed – never mind that the historical George III and Charlotte had no less than fifteen children – but apparently she's dead (the historical Amelia died age 27 and it distressed George greatly, but here it is delivered as if she was just an infant.). Oh, look, George is bonkers and thinks the Queen killed her. Nice one, Netflix, treating his illness like this and then completely glossing over it again.

Daphne, please stop tossing and turning and sighing, get yourself off, it works wonders. But no, instead she goes to her lady's maid and gets a pep talk about how she can still be happy without offspring.

Cut to Dukey waking up in Boxing Bro's place.

People I'd rather have a series about. A non-exhaustive list by me.

Penny and Eloise

Eloise

Benedict & The Bohemians (could also be a good band name)

Prince Freddie

Boxing Bro and his family

Opera Girl & The French Dressmaker

Cressida the Rival Bitch

The Servants

Dukey's exploits at college

Daphne's dress at her audience is so horribly ill-fitting.

How can Dukey be a rake if he doesn't even like flirting? It it pheromones? Do the ladies simply fall over when he walks by? The heck? Someone explain! His appeal to the Queen, however, is really lovely, no shade.

The wedding is LAUGHABLY small. Nobody would ever get through with this. You can't tell me they couldn't fill a small chapel like that, at least with some staff. It is supposed to be "intimate", because you guys are Regency nobility and this will not stand. Good God, Daphne, he's putting a ring on your finger, not his body parts inside of you.

However, the reception is huge. This does not make sense, except from a very American modern standpoint. I'm here for the food porn, though.

At the party Cressida bitches about and Penny (again, desperately) tries to hook up Cousin with anyone but Ducktail Colin. Eloise is still trying to figure out who Gossip Girl really is.

Cousin Wears-Curtains-Again tries to seduce Ducktail Colin in the study, alas, he's too honourable, but wants to marry her nevertheless, but he wants to wait. She can't wait, though, because of the pregnancy thing, oh no!

The Queen is at the reception, too. You can't tell me that the woman who tried to intervene with the getting wed thing as a whole because she didn't get enough attention is okay with being at the reception and not the church? 'scuse me? What is a characterisation, even.

Turns out Lady Danbury (remember, Dukey's awesome fairy godmother) isn't Whistledown, but the Queen is intrigued by Eloise's investigations. Also, Middle Bridgerbro had a threesome with not only the Dressmaker but also his (hopefully bi, because representation, probably gay because cliché) host's wife. Awkward to meet her again on your sister's wedding day.

Daphne gets THE TALK from Lady B, whose boobs are glorious in this scene, but honestly, couldn't you have done that on any other day?

I cannot bear to watch this while I'm eating.

Is Daphne going to wear her hair up now that she's married, at least?

Sappy goodbyes ensue as Dukey and Daphney go off to their honeymoon. Her cloak looks like a bedsheet.

How is this episode not over yet?

Oh no, they'll spend their wedding night at and inn rather than at a palace. Awkward silence ensues on the ride there, but the landscape and the inn are pretty.

Man, that centre part and those bangs look so. Bad.

They have separate bedrooms, which is a bit weird but so is this whole inn business. *shrugs * Daphne paces in hers, Dukey in his, and this writer is reminded of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Drama. Ugh. Communication is key.

Here we go with the make-up sex, though, and here we also go with the soft porn my best friend already warned me ab... no fucking shift! Are these stays laced with satin ribbon?

Oh look, it's Dukey topless again. Daphne's face just annoys me to no end. I'm so sorry because she really can't do anything about it, she was born with it, but it annoys me.

Uh, Dukey butt! I have the sudden urge to burst into "First Penis" from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. They really made a song for every occasion.

Dukey, couldn't you have started with your hands? What is a foreplay? "Hey, girl, remember when I told you to get yourself off? This is basically the same!" *inserts genitals * It's fairly tastefully shot soft porn, though.

I don't think she came. How about oral now?

God, we made it into the second half of this series.

Give me strength.

This concludes Episode 5.

To Be Continued

(maybe with female orgasms?)