#maybe he deserved to get bullied idek

[goyurim]

Undercover High School | Episode 6: ↳ How to be a role model at Byeongmun High ✨💅🏼

[osamosa11]

*cough* here i am 1223423 years later as usual ... but here we go hehe (also im too lazy to deal with the font sizes i apologize in advance)

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? once when i had hopes and dreams my purpose in life was to find a miya twins enthusiast willing to twin usernames with me ... chaatsumu and osamosa because miya atsumu & osamu + samosa chaat .... but alas it never happened so now im osamosa on here and my ao3 is chaatsumu and just matching with myself like a loser /J /LH KASJDHNK

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. my dude. i barely have one blog much less a sideblog JBHDSJKSB

3. how long have you been on tumblr? gmail says 2021!! i haven't actually posted/interacted outside of liking before this month though (it's evo's fault yall are now subjected to my presence JHBDC)

4. do you have a queue tag? i just learned how to reblog .

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? sigh i was gonna make it for fic recs when i started and then promptly abandoned it like everything else that doesnt remain in my attention span for over 5 minutes JKBHDC

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? nan feng!!! beat up because he deserves to be bullied!!! /affectionate

7. why did you choose your header? pretty fictional people !!! bullying nan feng !!! sqx is my wife !!!!

8. what’s your post with the most notes? my sunflower fx art teehee <333 (she's at 69 votes rn actually ... we all know what that means *waggles eyebrows and then cringes*) but im so emo about him and sunflowers so it makes me v happy :3

9. how many mutuals do you have? idek how i would go about checking this but i probably have like . maybe 8 followers if that idk and i follow all of them back im pretty sure

10. how many followers do you have? refer to above hehe

11. how many people do you follow? mmm around 35?

12. have you ever made a shitpost? i shitpost on twt enough, the world wouldnt be able to handle me there and on tumblr

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? once or twice if that?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? ive spoken to maybe 3 in total but theyve all been super super sweet <333 yall are so nice . i have been getting slandered and bullied by my friendo mi for years who also happens to be my mootie here tho someone save me /j

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts i dont think ive come across this ?

16. do you like tag games? always appreciate the opportunity to yap * nods sagely*

17. do you like ask games? once again idk what this is JKDVBSDB i know what asks are but game...?

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? basically everyone ever is more famous than me so i think all of them are hehe

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope!

20. what is the last song you listened to? saturn - sza is playing rn hehe

21. what are you currently watching? link click live action! also remembered the tgcf donghua exists and watched all fengqing fight scenes yesterday LOL

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? i love love sweet and spicy!! preference depends on my mood hehe

23. what is your current relationship status? single pringle, just as it has always been !

24. what is your current obsession? fengxinfengxin and also my oc that evo knows about teehee ACTUALLY . GO READ THEIR FIC WITH HIM IN IT RIGHT NEOWWW ITS BEAUTIFUL ITS EVERYTHING THE UNIVERSE HAS EVER NEEDED

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

good days - sza

sunflower - rex orange county

alive - kehlani

best friend - laufey

the things you leave behind - maruwhat & anthony lazaro

the ballad of lucy gray baird - rachel zegler

blue neighborhood - troye sivan

manta rays - chloe moriondo

you were good to me - jeremy zucker, chelsea cutler

@beemilo @rampagingnoble @sugisyakult pokes you with a stick (v lovingly hehe <33) if you wanna do this !!!

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

(thank you for the tag @lianhuajing !!)

1. why did you choose your url? uh. it was a play on "rose tinted glasses"

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. nope!

3. how long have you been on tumblr? I think 2022? i knew about it before, just never bothered to make a blog

4. do you have a queue tag? don't kill me, what's a queue tag?

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? I had some Thoughts about Blue Lock and wanted to post meta for it

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? uhh Flora.

7. why did you choose your header? Reo is one of my Blorbos and I just really liked that panel of him

8. what’s your post with the most notes? probably the "do you download fics" poll

9. how many mutuals do you have? about 20? i don't remember

10. how many followers do you have? 120?

11. how many people do you follow? 91

12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes. i think.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? an hour?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nope

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts meh. some of them are funny i guess

16. do you like tag games? yep! it's nice interaction

17. do you like ask games? i do! but uh. it's a silent empty void here. an echo chamber, if you will.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i have no idea but i see @kingsandbastardz a lot in the mlc community

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope

20. what is the last song you listened to? 若梦 by 周深

21. what are you currently watching? i just finished The Double! probably starting on Dashing Youth next

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? The Double,,,,

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

若梦 by 周深

如故 by 张碧晨

如初 by 张碧晨

借过一下 by 周深

万物不如你 by 张杰

Our dawn is hotter than day by Seventeen

Hitorijana by Seventeen

my music taste is kinda...i tend to stick to a few artists...

26. tagging (no obligation to do this!) @randomingoftherandomness @good-vs-evo @chrysofightme @bbcphile

[ironmandeficiency]

rain clouds

pairing: maxwell lord / reader

word count: 2813

summary: i don’t even know what to say abt this one except it’s filled with yearning

a/n: this was gonna be super soft and happy but then it got soft and sad and then soft and happy again. posting from mobile yet again. tbh idek if this makes a lick of sense, we will see

warnings: mentions of shitty parents (maxwell’s dad & alistair’s mom), hints at child neglect & cps, anxious max, don't worry it gets fluffy

maxwell lord hasn’t had a day off since he founded black gold cooperative. that business was his baby long before he had a living baby with his ex wife, and loved both just as much. there was no such thing as a “sick day” to max; any day spent sleeping or healing is a day lost in the pursuit of greatness, the pilgrimage to the top of the corporate food chain. the only one he would ever make an exception for is alistair, and even then work would sometimes interrupt.

there was a time, almost too long ago for him to vividly remember, where maxwell did more than work. when he actually got his hands dirty in something that didn’t have anything to do with corporate schemes, and laughed with genuine glee more often than scowled. it was a long time ago now, and no one would ever believe it if they were told that maxwell lord ever got dirty with, well, dirt.

“come on! you gotta try this, it’s great!” the memories of his only friend have become worn with constant reminiscing, his mind unsure as to what’s real and what he imagined to fill in the gaps left by age and new priorities.

maxwell had found a secluded section of the park down the street from the apartment you both lived in, one safe from the eyes of bullies and adults alike. his feet were bare as the day he was born while making leaps and bounds in the abundant mud puddles from yesterday’s rain. he did his best to not let what little joy he found be dwindled by circumstance — his shitty father and reticent mother and the lingering ghost of poverty — the way others lost theirs. max believed himself different than that and carried himself as such no matter what others said.

you were still on the sidewalk, watching your best friend with awe and curiosity. the idea of traipsing through mud barefooted was exhilarating, but you knew that if your clothes got dirty, your mother would hang you out to dry alongside the clothes you were wearing. how did it feel to have the mud between your toes, the rainwater soaking into your skin? you didn’t remember, but you would like to.

to be honest, maxwell didn’t expect you to join him. he didn’t think you would ever try to break out of the box of propriety your family shoved you in, not now or ever. but the next thing he knew, he heard another set of feet splashing around in the puddles he had just vacated, making a path to where he stood. a playful shriek he knew as yours rang through the air and he immediately turned to you, wanting to see your face as you enjoyed yourself for the first time in a long time. “maxwell, this is wonderful! why didn’t you get me to do this earlier?”

you never looked more beautiful to him than when the afternoon sun shone on you, your smile bright and laughter clear and joyous. you were free as lady liberty, splashing around like there wasn’t a single other thing you had to do. then you take his hand and max swears that he’s seeing stars. before you know it, you’re dancing in the mud to the song of the birds in the trees. is it just max’s imagination, or do you tell him you love him?

your lips are on his and it’s magic. his shirt is being gripped in tight fists and his hands are magnetized to your waist, holding each other tight enough to need a crowbar to separate you. there’s nowhere he would rather be than back there with you…

but it’s been far too many years since he’s seen or heard from you, there’s no telling if you’re even in the country still at this point. it took a long time for him to not dolefully gaze at every door you could walk through once he left for college, hoping to see that radiant smile and hear you say his name so reverently.

but these days, reverence is the last thing maxwell thinks he deserves, not after the dreamstone debacle. hell, he isn’t even completely convinced that he can adequately take care of alistair despite the low standards his father and his ex-wife have presented him with. despite these doubts (and the perplexing way that everyone acted as if he never almost took over the world), he was just given full custody of alistair when the school called cps on his ex-wife for neglect. it was a terrible way to get a second chance at doing right by his son, but it’s a second chance nonetheless.

after seeing sense and liquidating black gold while he still could get something to survive with, he and alistair found a two bedroom apartment in a nice part of town. it was miniscule compared to what he had but it was a sight more than what he could have ended up with. besides, max had no time to be frivolous when he had his son to protect.

back to the grindstone he went. he knew that people would recognize him if he kept his current appearance and name, so he retired the lord name and decided on another fresh start. he slowly adjusted to using lorenzano after so many years rejecting it, got the blond removed from his hair. he found a job in financial advisory, and ironically enough, he was damn good at it. he knows what he’s doing when it comes to money that isn’t his, who’d have thought?

he actually knew a couple people from work that he almost considered friends. honestly he wasn’t sure what that word meant anymore, didn’t remember the feelings that were supposed to be associated with having them. but it was enough, truly more than enough; because this progress meant that he was dragging himself out of the grave he dug, because he was taking care of his son first and foremost.

alistair was put into a new school; nothing fancy, just the nicer public school that was a pleasing midpoint between work and their apartment. the first day he attended, alistair came home with so many good stories about the friends he made and the games they played at recess. within a few months he had been contacted by his teacher who had nothing but praise for little alistair lorenzano. his little boy was excelling and max couldn’t have been more proud than he was during that phone call. seconds after he hung up, he found alistair in his bedroom and wrapped him in a massive hug, making sure to emphasize the fact that max was proud of his son.

and then there was his neighbor. they lived across the hall from him and max would only catch the tail end of their arrivals and departures to their apartment. he did think it was rather odd, their strangely adept ability at avoiding him. if he didn’t know any better he’d think it was on purpose.

it wasn't intentional — not quite.

you had been avoiding your neighbor, but it had nothing to do with the oil commercials or dreamstone debacle — your new neighbor made you sad. the feeling would hit every time you saw him. his mere presence dusted off long-worn and cherished memories of a time where the sun felt warmer on your skin, where smiles came easier than heartache.

it took a long while before you realized why: it was because this mystery man reminded you of a love long lost to the dagger of circumstance. something about his walk, or maybe his hands during the times you’d see him open his apartment door, reminded you of what an older maxwell lorenzano could have been. the section of your heart that housed your thoughts of maxwell had been wrapped in caution tape with every hazard sign known to man flashing around it for many years, not wanting to venture there for more than a few moments in fear of hurting yourself even more.

if only you realized it was really max that you were so adamantly avoiding.

three months went by of max wondering why he still has yet to meet his neighbor. not that it was imperative to his daily survival, but his curiosity was all but tearing him apart at the seams. he didn’t know what else to do; yes he wanted to know his neighbor, but how did he go about that when they never saw each other?

“just knock on their door, daddy. be their friend, like you tell me to do when i go to school.” the childlike innocence alistair speaks with betrays the actual feasibility of the idea. maxwell was overthinking everything! people talked to their neighbors all the time! this could just be a simple “hey are you doing okay?” and the chips would fall where they may.

maxwell ruffles his son’s hair affectionately, pulling him into a small hug. “you know what? that’s exactly what i’m gonna do. thanks buddy, i’ll be right back.” it’s only across the hall, max isn’t gonna be gone long.

it’s been years since he’s done anything this casually daring. everything he did for decades was all high risk yielding high reward. talking to his neighbor should seem simple in comparison — it presented no drastic consequence if it went belly up, he almost never saw his neighbor anyway. that wouldn’t change after he finally sated his curiosity, certainly not.

once alistair’s homework is finished and is entranced by the television, maxwell decides to head next door, being sure that the house keys are in his pocket before shutting the door. he probably should have thought it out more than he did — he had no idea about his neighbor’s work schedule or if they had kids or a spouse, if they were a serial killer or an introvert. or even worse, if they happened to be someone who remembers everything he’s done. that would be his luck, his first true attempt at making a friend being thwarted with the magnitude of his past sins.

he doesn’t hear his own front door open, alistair’s head poking out to watch his dad. “knock, daddy!” he whisper-shouts and nearly shakes maxwell out of his skin. the little boy laughs at his dad’s startled expression before nodding and shutting the door back.

max went to knock but realized with his knuckles only an inch from the wood that his hands were peculiarly slippery. when did maxwell’s hands get so clammy? there was nothing to be nervous about. he was just going to attempt to make a friend, like his son simplified.

but the thing is, maxwell knows that it’s been decades since he’s had a friend. the last time someone outside of his son was kind to him not for the zeroes he wrote in checkbooks was you, and sometimes he even doubted that you were real. there are hazy memories of him as a teen that splashed in mud puddles and kissed a being of pure sunshine with the innocence of youth. he hopes they’re real, for his sake and for the sunshine he romped around the park with. maybe memories of him are keeping you sane the way your memory did for him.

as his thoughts spiraled, maxwell lost his nerve. with a heaping dose of irrationality, he didn’t want to disappoint whoever was on the other side of the door. turns out, there was no one on the other side.

“excuse me, did you need something?”

your first instinct when seeing a man almost knocking on your apartment door, on a normal day, was not to be so polite. but you were having a strangely good day and there was no reason to bring down the positive energy with an abrasive attitude. plus, the man looked so conflicted. he seemed to need a friend.

“i, uh, live across the hall, have been for a few months and never got to meet you.” a small gesture to the side shifted your attention to the door across from yours — and the little boy who had the door cracked just enough to see the interaction between you and who you think must be his dad.

this man’s voice, something about it was familiar. he moved from in front of your door and extended his hand towards you in an effort for a decent introduction. “i’m maxwell lor-lorenzano.”

maxwell lorenzano. you never would have thought that out of all the people to have graced this apartment building, he would be one. his hands were still softly strong and shoulders still broad. his eyes were still the same striking shade of brown, but there was a lot more pain there, a lot of experience that was clearly pushing him down by his shoulders and into the depths of anguish. yet there he was, keeping his head above water and still being kind. this truly was your max.

you take his hand with a soft smile, squeezing it gently as you give your name. “it’s been a long time, max.”

max couldn’t believe it. after all these years, it was you.

you had moved in across the street from him in his early teenage years and had become acquainted when walking to school and home. the two of you trekked through high school together, ignoring the cruelty of classmates and focusing on getting to the future, to freedom. hope of being friends after high school was abundant in the beginning, but soon your paths sent you further and further away from each other and towards a future neither of you were sure you wanted without the other.

“it really has been a while. i- i uh,” he could barely string a sentence together anymore. his shock and joy of seeing you again had his brain melting into goo and his tongue an almost immovable weight. “i missed you.” the blood rushed to your face the way it always did when you were with max. even when stuttering over his words and a hand rubbing at the back of his neck, he was still charming.

max noticed your attire and the wet umbrella in hand and was immediately taken back to that day spent in the park after it rained, when he . the sunshine on his skin, your smile that never failed to take his breath away…

a soft smile was on max’s lips but his eyes were somewhere else. “max? is everything okay?”

“do you remember the day we went to the park, when we splashed in the puddles and-“

“and when i kissed you? i could never forget if i tried.”

you really did kiss him! it made him want to do it again, as many times as you would let him. but that brought one little stipulation with it: alistair.

what would you say when you found out he had a son?

before max’s thoughts could dampen your reunion, you continued, and with every word, you solidified your place in his heart. “maybe we could do that again some time, just like we used to. and you could bring your son too, if you’d like.” you were jumping out on a limb by assuming that the little boy was his son, but with the apparent protectiveness max displayed around him when you see them together, what else could he be?

“that sounds so fun! can we, dad?” alistair made his presence known by pummeling into max’s legs, nearly knocking him over with an excited hug. you grinned at the affection, watching max’s eyes fill with warmth as he gazed at his son. “i don’t see why not. just change into some play clothes and get your raincoat from the hall closet.”

alistair shoots with glee and is immediately running back to the apartment, excited to change clothes and play in the rain. you watch max’s eyes as they light up at alistair’s happiness, that flicker reminding of you of when you were younger and the world was kinder to you both.

here was your second chance with max, another opportunity to be with someone who never stopped loving you even as the seasons changed and the zeroes increased. “i’ll let you guys get changed, come knock when you’re ready to go.”

feeling an uptick in bravery, max placed a quick peck to your cheek before he turned toward his apartment. “will do, see you in a few.” the risk he took was well worth seeing you grow bashful at the affection, eyes flitting to your shoes before back at him, a soft smile across your lips. you watched him walk away before going back into your apartment, waiting for the rest of your life to begin at the rapping of knuckles on solid oak.

maxwell lord taglist & others: @phoenixhalliwell @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @obirain @themarcusmoreno @captainrexstan @battletales @stardustsunrisekisses @senator-nahberries @max--phillips @jedi-mando @veracruz-djarin @andysficrecs @purelypascal @whovianwar @iv7867 @kaermorons @princess76179 @pedropasscals

[yorkesteins]

But the answer is 002 for all six Runaways. :P Tell me your deep thoughts on all the babies.

Gert Yorkes

How I feel about this character: baby angel, love of my life, best girl in the world, object of my projection

All the people I ship romantically with this character: chase stein

My non-romantic OTP for this character: obviously i love her relationship with molly, but her and alex had a couple of moments where they played off of each other in a very fun way! 

My unpopular opinion about this character: idk that i really have one? i love hulu gert more than comic gert but idk if that’s super unpopular? ariela plays her so beautifully and i adore that girl but let people be sad about the fat rep being erased bc it was already inconsistent? 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: ariela’s mentioned wanting to explore her latinx heritage, and i want that so badly.

my OTP: gertchase gertchase gertchase

my cross over ship: lmao idek maybe elena alvarez bc i deserved elena/carmen

a headcanon fact: when she was six she told everyone she was gonna marry nico so nico would have to share her light up sneakers which made nico cry bc she didn’t want to get married OR share, which made gert cry, which made chase cry because gert was crying. Amy told on all of them. 

Chase Stein

How I feel about this character: he’s BABY. i love him. he’s trying his best. leave him alone he’s sad.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: gert yorkes. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character: also alex tbh. let them be BROS. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: it’s possible to make dumb decisions for valid reasons tbh. chase still has a lot of growing to do, but he got really vulnerable this season. he’s starting to confront and untangle a lot of shitty weird feelings around an abusive upbringing and i think it’s so far pretty fuckin nuanced. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: lol i want him to be able to say that the way both of his parents have treated him isn’t okay, and i want him get closure, and i want him to talk to his friends.

my OTP: gertchase gertchase gertchase

my cross over ship: uhhhhh idk peter parker would be funny tbh. or ty johnson?

a headcanon fact: was the green power ranger four times for halloween as a kid. bullied karolina, gert, and amy all into being the pink ranger different years; nico kicked him in the shin in lieu of a no.

Molly Hernandez

How I feel about this character: sweet baby child!! 

All the people I ship romantically with this character: she’s a baby!!! klara prast i guess? 

My non-romantic OTP for this character: oh chase and molly siblings in law 4ever

My unpopular opinion about this character: i’m torn between missing the dynamic that came w molly legit being so much younger in the comics but also liking the conflict being treated as younger when she’s really not much younger brings.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i wanted chase to nickname her bruiser so badly lmao.

my OTP: i don’t rly have one? i do know molly is a lesbian tho 

my cross over ship: don’t have one

a headcanon fact: pretended to like one direction more than she ever did so gert could use her as a cover for going to concerts willing keeping her pretentious 14 year old Indie Fan Cred. Pretended to dislike them more than she did in front of gert for Bribes.

Nico Minoru

How I feel about this character: my witchy daughter whom i love!

All the people I ship romantically with this character: karolina dean. i didn’t mind alex, just not long term.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: nico and chase bickering siblings forever!!

My unpopular opinion about this character: i think my hulu nico opinions are all really standard, but i had a ton of issues with how she was written in the comics? mostly i do not think there’s a single man including bkv who has written comics of that character in a fair way lmao.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I just want quieter, relationship navigating moments with karolina, because they’ve been pretty plot centric or Big Declarations which is so nicer to see centered for a f/f ship! but i want some of the smaller moments where they’re just teenagers dating in a precarious situation

my OTP: deanoru

my cross over ship: idk kate bishop?

a headcanon fact: misses her co-star app with a burning passion, forced alex to let her use a hostel computer to do everyone’s charts. gert started off very critical, ends up yelling THIS IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE VENUS IN VIRGO at chase two hours later, nico is very smug

Karolina Dean

How I feel about this character: baby angel daughter!!!!

All the people I ship romantically with this character: nico minoru. julie power was fine you guys are just mean! interested to see how they do xavin in the show?

My non-romantic OTP for this character: more karolina and gert please!

My unpopular opinion about this character: i think her motivations w jonah made sense but weren’t earned enough by the storyline and it kind of did a disservice to her character development and also made her reaction to chase’s stuff kind of weird ngl. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i just kind of wish her conflict with her parentage was stronger ngl? i think she had the best written parent betrayal in the comics, and i kind of wish we’d gotten something similar.

my OTP: deanoru

my cross over ship: america chavez?

a headcanon fact: tells nico she thought being born on a cusp meant she gets to pick which zodiac sign she feels more like. she kind of knows that’s not right, but nico’s really cute when she gets worked up about that kind of stuff.

Alex Wilder

How I feel about this character: BABY BOY

All the people I ship romantically with this character: livvie. again, liked nico in a temporary way? i’ve seen people write alex/victor mancha and i’m not mad about it.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: CHASE ALEX BROS

My unpopular opinion about this character: uh i love him and think he’s Trying His Best to stay in control of situation that he’s increasingly disillusioned by and also comic alex was a 16 year old kid who trusted and loved his parents in a way that was a lot more nuanced that the villainry he gets painted with~

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i just want him to interact with the other kids more. rhenzy plays off them all really well.

my OTP:  alex/livvie? I think i’m less invested bc we’ve seen less of her but they were SO cute and i really want to see more of her

my cross over ship: .......also peter parker?

a headcanon fact: him and chase did star wars marathons like once a month growing up and always yell HAN SHOT FIRST in unison like total fucking dweebs. he hasn’t seen a new hope since before amy died. 

[miraclefusion-blog1]

recover mostly manga-verse bg’s + characterization, takes place pre-canon rated G; ~1k words, hinted one-sided honda hiroto / jounouchi katsuya

writing this purely for self-indulgent purposes at this pt, since idek if the DM fandom is even existent at this point. but...i’ve never moved on

Honda wants to punch him. It's a kneejerk reaction, a remnant of the delinquent he'd been before he'd cleaned himself up, putting on the front of the class president wannabe, beautification club and all — but he holds himself back, fingers twisting wrinkles into Jounouchi's shirt. It's been a while since Honda's been the kid to come home with bloody knuckles and black eyes, but he still remembers the dark thrill of having Jounouchi's back, of the fight still burning in his veins.

But — he doesn't have Jounouchi's back in this, and it makes him powerless, angry.

It's a damn miracle that he's the only one home when Jounouchi arrives at his front door with a bang on the front door and a hoarse yell of "Honda, open up!"

Honda grumbles complaints under his breath the whole way there, but gets up to let him in, a sharp rebuke already on his tongue before the door swings open to reveal Jounouchi, clearly worse for wear. There are cuts across his face, a slow trickle of blood coming down across his brow, and a bruise spreading across his cheek that looks suspiciously like —

Honda's annoyance dies in his throat as he swings the door open to let Jounouchi in. "Did you get into a fight?"  

"No," Jounouchi replies, terse, as he steps in, toeing off his shoes. Honda sighs, pursing his lips and closing the door behind him.

"Thought you left that kind of stuff behind," Honda mumbles, and Jounouchi grits his teeth, shaking his head.

"Told you, it wasn't like that." There's a tension in his voice that Honda recognizes. Concern, familiar in his chest, blooms sharp and sudden under his skin, and he places a soft hand on Jounouchi's shoulder.

"C'mon," he says, steering Jounouchi toward his room. "Let's get you cleaned up."

Jounouchi yields without complaint, strangely quiet, and Honda feels himself frown, fingers clenching tighter around Jounouchi's shoulder. It's not the first time this has happened, and Honda has a feeling that it won't be the last.

He'll ask later, after he's cleaned Jounouchi up, he decides. For now, he continues to lead Jounouchi forward, gesturing for him to sit on his bed. His covers are tucked in impeccably, as always, and they wrinkle and shift in place as Jounouchi takes a seat. Small sacrifices, he decides, are necessary. Honda ducks into the adjoining bathroom, opening a drawer and pulling out a small first aid kit he keeps for situations like this. At this point, he thinks grimly, he may as well just write Jounouchi's name on it.

Jounouchi's always been the type to get himself into fights, always snapping at the opportunity to prove himself with his words, his fists. Honda's known him for years, now, and he still wonders if he'll change. Leaving Hirutani and his thugs behind was a start, but he's still a far cry from the kid Honda'd saved from bullies so long ago. Honda snaps himself back into the present when he hears Jounouchi curse faintly from his room, and turns to see the blond raising a hand to touch the wounds on his temple.

"Don't touch it," Honda snaps, opening the kit and walking over. He rips open a packet of alcohol wipes, shaking it open before reaching out to tip Jounouchi's head back with his free hand. "Don't move, idiot."

Jounouchi looks like he's about to protest, but his reply turns into a pained hiss when Honda smooths the wipe across his cuts. He's still avoiding Honda's gaze. Honda puts down the alcohol wipe, raising a hand to smooth Jounouchi's messy bangs back from his forehead, revealing the worst of the damage. Anger boils quietly beneath his skin, and when Honda speaks, it's measured, quiet.

"How'd this happen?" Jounouchi swallows, pulling back from Honda's touch. Honda doesn't react, rooting back through the kit to pull out a handful of butterfly closures. He gets to work on sealing the worst of the cuts, the silence cutting heavy between them.

It's Honda that breaks the silence first — it always is. "Your dad," he starts. "Is he drinking again?"

Jounouchi's laugh is dark, resigned. "You say that like he's ever stopped."

Honda's jaw clenches, and he almost fumbles the plastic wrapper in his hands. "That guy..."

It's only out of respect for Jounouchi that Honda doesn't let himself say anything more. He bites back his anger, willing his hands to still. If Jounouchi would let him, he'd end that bastard with his own hands — but he swallows it down, if only for his friend.

"I'm sorry," he tries. You don't deserve this, he wants to say, but he can't find the words.

"For what?" Jounouchi says, with a bitter smile. "I brought this on myself."

"Shut up," Honda growls, grabbing Jounouchi's collar. The fabric under his fingers is already threadbare, fraying under his fingers. "That's a lie and you know it."

"Is it?" Jounouchi asks, quietly. He looks away. "Maybe. Maybe not."

Honda wants to punch him. It's a kneejerk reaction, a remnant of the delinquent he'd been before he'd cleaned himself up, putting on the front of the class president wannabe, beautification club and all — but he holds himself back, fingers twisting wrinkles into Jounouchi's shirt. It's been a while since Honda's been the kid to come home with bloody knuckles and black eyes, but he still remembers the dark thrill of having Jounouchi's back, of the fight still burning in his veins.

But — he doesn't have Jounouchi's back in this, and it makes him powerless, angry. "Don't say that kind of shit to my face, Jounouchi. You're — you don't deserve this shit, and you know it."

Jounouchi flinches like he's been hit. "You have too much faith in me."

"Shut up," Honda says, again. "You could be a lot more than —"

Than whatever Hirutani and your father have made you think you are, he finishes, silently. Jounouchi meets his eyes, challenging.

"Than what? Some beat up charity case from the wrong crowd?"

"That's not what you are," Honda grits out, letting go of Jounouchi's shirt. They're close, Honda realizes, faintly, pointedly ignoring the heat that flushes beneath his skin.

"Then what am I?" Jounouchi sounds defeated, eyes glancing up to meet Honda's.

"You're my friend," Honda insists. "And if you can't get it through your thick skull that I care about you —"

Jounouchi's fingers clench in Honda's shirt, and for a split second, Honda has the insane thought that he's about to pull Honda in and kiss him. His heart stutters in his chest, before the moment passes and it's just Jounouchi, resting his head against Honda's collarbone, breaths coming shakily.

"Just — just stop talking," Jounouchi says, softly, and Honda softens, raising an arm to throw around Jounouchi's shoulders in a loose hug.

"Suit yourself," Honda says, with a small shrug. "But it's true, y'know. I've got your back, no matter what."

"Yeah," Jounouchi replies.

They don't talk for a long while, after that.

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

nienke and fabian deserve the happy ending they got.

nina and daniel deserve the happy ending they got.

nina and fabian...i’m gonna be honest here: as much as i ship them, the characterization of these two in the american/uk version left their relationship doomed from the start.

Fabina shippers everywhere are screaming, i’m sure, but here me out.

I’m not saying they never could have gotten their happy ending and stayed together, but HOA fabina was rather a forced pair. NOT AS FORCED AS OTHER PAIRINGS (*cough* mara and fabian *cough*), but somewhat forced. At least, in season 2 it was.

Let me explain:

Season 1, there are these two really pure kids that find each other undeniably attractive. Poor Nina is being ostracized by her housemates, and Fabian is too sweet of a person (at this point in his character arc) to take part in the bullying. And once Nina gets wrapped up in the whole mystery, Fabian is quick to follow. Why?

Because—at least given some context clues of the person Fabian was before the start of the series—Fabian is finally getting a chance to be more assertive and driven, as opposed to being this passive, soft-spoken push-over. Nina (who I’ll talk about in a second) gave Fabian the push he needed to start his character development from “quiet bystander” to the boy he is at the end of the series: “overconfident, proud, and (tbh) rude”.

Season 1 Nina is a lot less bitchy (yes, bitchy) than her Season 2 counterpart, and while we can partially blame her short fuse in Season 2 on her Gran being super sick, she was definitely not a patient or even really all that sweet person in Season 1 either. Fabian took a liking to her because she subtly gave him a reason to stand up for himself, and they ended up having some real chemistry.

Maybe, had there not been the Big Misunderstanding™ with Fabina in S2, this wouldn’t be a post...but maybe not.

In S2, things get rough for this ship, because they don’t know how to communicate with one another. Like...they have BIG communication issues. Massive. Enormous. Monstrous. They can barely go an episode without fighting after their break up, and I guess that’s partially because of their break up, but they wouldn’t have broken up at all had they actually communicated.

These fights are really driving Fabian’s character arc along, and these fights are driving Nina’s character into the ground. Fabian is now learning to stand up to the person who originally gave him the initiative to do so. Nina is just having an all around shitty time.

They are becoming less and less compatible as the season goes on.

I could go into detail about this, but basically: they really weren’t made for each other.

If Nina had stayed for Season 3, she and Fabian would have never survived. And probably not because of Nina (though I’ve been kind of villainizing her in this post, haven’t I?)

Things may have been fine and dandy for Fabina at the end of S2, but things would have gotten way too rocky for them in S3.

Why? S3 Fabian is 100% a different person than S1 Fabian. S3 Fabian was cocky, sassy, and I’d even dare to say aggressive. (To those who think that this characterization was out of the blue, of you look back at Fabian Rutter throughout the series you will see that he was hurtling towards this from the moment we first saw him on-screen.)

Nina and Fabian would have clashed tremendously in S3 and if everything that happened in S3 still happened with Nina there, I don’t think they could have come back from it like Patricia and Eddie did.

TL;DR: Fabian and Nina in the American/UK version of Anubis were never going to work out well.

I do ship them, despite what this might suggest lol. I just think it was kind of good that they broke it off. For both of their sakes. They loved each other, but I don’t think they would have a real future together.

(Idek if this makes sense, it’s hard to articulate how I feel about this ship. In all the other versions, the characters are so DIFFERENT THAN THE ENGLISH VERSION!!!)

[bladesmcn-blog]

MASSIVE MULTIPLE HEADCANON DUMP UNDER THE CUT

Please keep in mind these were all written BEFORE season 6

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Keith started pulling away from his role as the pilot of the black lion as soon as they had Shiro back. He never once wanted to be in this position because he knows that he isn’t meant to be a leader. He’s a natural born loner that’s always cared about only himself in a lot of situations. While being part of a team has granted him the needed growth.

He has never once called himself the black paladin and will never accept that title because it was one that was forced on him by Shiro. Never once did Shiro asked if Keith wanted to lead Voltron, he shoved it down his throat. Which most likely causes a rift between Keith and Shiro because as much as Keith trusts Shiro having something that he doesn’t want shoved down his throat kills Keith.

Keith never meant to cause the rest of his team harm by missing performances or throwing the team that became his family in danger because he hates himself for doing it. Yet he knows that the blade is where he truly belongs. The blade has the secrets to his past hidden in their walls and for once he’s ready to find himself. He’s not just the boy in the shack anymore he’s Keith, a boy who wants nothing more than to find his place in the universe.

What happened with the delivery ships that forced Shiro’s hand into becoming the black paladin again makes Keith feel so guilty it tears him up inside. He didn’t mean to cause that kind of harm to his team. Yet there’s some gratification when Shiro does get the black lion to respond to him only confirming that he has no place as a paladin of Voltron.

Keith loved being a paladin and flying his lion but he knew that his time as a paladin was up the second Allura got the blue lion. He knew the second Shiro was back that he’d hand the reins back over to their rightful owner. He was willing to make that sacrifice for himself.

The lecture with Allura saying that the blade could go on without him but Voltron can’t was a slap in the face because Keith knew that Shiro was just letting him lead a team he was never good enough to. Keith was a bad leader to put it lightly. He knew his flaws and he could never call the shots on his own. He knows that he isn’t meant to be a leader when his instincts tell him to only protect himself.

Once Shiro is back in command and when he tells the team about the mission he wants to go on he knows that it’s finally time. He knows that no matter how bad his mistakes were that things finally worked themselves out in his favor for once in his life. He made his choice the second he joined the blade. He knows where he belongs and he knows it isn’t as a paladin. He made that choice and was willing to make it right no matter the cost.

Keith has grown so much and the trust he holds in his team will always be there, but he knows that he isn’t meant to be in the paladin armor anymore. He hates to leave the family that he’d grown close with behind but he knows that he needs to find himself to really live up to what the expect from him.

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I want to explain something about Keith and his team dynamic because I’ve been talking about this to a few people, and they support this theory.

Now we all know that Keith get’s ‘attacked’ a lot in the show by the other team members because of his mistakes, and yes this does negatively affect Keith I’d like to take a stance from the teams perspective.

This isn’t some high school football game or some dumb playground for them to play in space. This isn’t a simulation this is war and I’d like to make it very clear that some of Keith mistakes could lead him and any other member of the team do their death.

A perfect example is when Keith tried to fight Zarkon in S1 ( I think idek ) and everyone kept yelling at him to stop. They aren’t saying that to break Keith, they don’t want Zarkon to get the red lion and then get himself killed.

Another example is in season 2 when Keith threatens that leader by putting his sword around his neck, of course everyone else got mad because his outburst did nothing but put everyone in danger. They know Keith can’t be stopped but they want to drill it into his head that his decisions often lead the rest of the team to be in danger.

My biggest example is on Thayserix in season 3 whenever Keith just went after Lotor without letting Pidge examine the atmosphere, and letting Allura get shot off and nearly caught by Lotor. In that moment Lance reaches out to him and instead of ‘bullying’ ( He’s never bullied Keith he’s called him out on his shit because again this is war ) Keith he said he was going to help him fix what he’d done. Because everyone knows that Keith doesn’t want to be their leader and they know he isn’t fit to lead them, so instead of lashing out at him and making things worse they help him, because he’s no longer just another paladin he’s in charge.

Before Keith was their leader they’d call him out because they need him to see where he makes his mistakes and need him to try not to do it again. A lot of the time Keith doesn’t do the exact same thing over and over again, but he still causes trouble.

Now moving on to Keith’s perspective.

He’s used to looking out for just himself and not 4 other people. He acts on himself because he’s selfish and cares about himself. He’s hard wired that way, so of course he’s the one who gets in those kinds of situations the most. Pidge, Hunk, and Lance were on a team together in the Garrison and Shiro is a natural born leader so of course they are a team oriented bunch. Keith dropped out of the garrison and was alone for a year, and even in the garrison he struggled with is ‘disciplinary issues’ which I’m assuming revolved around his lack of communication with his team and how he couldn’t be a team oriented person.

Now before you start screaming ‘BUT HE CAN LEARN THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE TO YELL AT HIM’ He can’t relearn something that’s been hardwired in his brain in the course of a few months, they’ve probably been in space 2 years at most, and he can’t reteach himself all the things he’s known because he doesn’t know he’s doing it half the time. He relies solely on instinct and his instinct protects himself and only himself.

Keith isn’t perfect, he’s flawed and broken and desperate to fix himself but he’s too scared to ask for help because he knows everyone on the team already has this high opinion of him and he doesn’t want to disappoint them yet again by showing that he’s not all he’s claimed to be outside of the battlefield.

He’s weak and he doesn’t want to admit that to anyone, because he already knows he’s fucked up enough and he doesn’t want to add to it. I’m not saying the team have made him feel this way because he’s always felt like this. He was at the top of his class at the garrison so god forbid he be anything less than perfect.

TLDR Keith isn’t bullied by his team mates because this is war and it’s not bullying if you speak up when someone fucks up in those situations because everyone’s life is on the line and Keith isn’t fucked up mentally because of what the team does or whenever they call him out. Sure it hurts and it doesn’t help him but he’s not broken from the team doing this to him.

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Keith in season 4 shows a lot of growth ( even though he was only in 3 episodes ) because it’s offering the idea that Keith isn’t meant to be directly involved with Voltron. That he might not truly be meant to hold a paladin role, but a role outside of it with the blade. He joins the blade because he wants to further himself outside of voltron and wants to see where he really belongs. I’m not trying to say he doesn’t belong in voltron but maybe that he feels like to really be a paladin he needs himself to grow. Ever since he was forced to pilot the black lion he hasn’t felt like he really belonged in that position. Lance replaces his role in red and he knows that deep down lance has grown into that role and deserves it, but he knows that he’s not really ready to pilot black yet. He sees himself as more of a place holder for when he forces Shiro to reconnect with the black lion.

Watching Lance grow into the role of the red paladin further solidified his thoughts that he might be that ‘one to many paladins’ Lance mentioned in season 3. It made him realized that maybe he’s not meant to be apart of voltron but still be able to help through the blade. He realizes that maybe he’s not meant to pilot a lion, which is a hard thing for him to swallow because he’d just gotten used to the idea of voltron being his real family and now he feels as if it’s time for him to move on. Joining the blade is a way for him to really grow as a person and find out more about himself away from voltron and away from the people he’s grown to call his family.

Now moving on to how Keith copes with the realization that he isn’t meant for voltron. It’s a hard thing for him to swallow because those people are his family. It’s hard for him to think that he has to take a back seat and watch voltron from the outside because he wants to be a paladin and he wants to be a part of the team but he doesn’t want to shove lance out of red and therefore shove allura out of blue because he feels like those are the roles they’re truly meant to play. He slowly has to accept the fact that he might never get to fly a lion ever again, yet he doesn’t get angry at anyone and doesn’t try to take out this realization out on anyone he keeps it to himself and waits for the moment to present itself that he can be with just the blade and not have to keep going back and forth with being the pilot of the black lion and the blade.

I also want to touch on how Keith has never and probably will never view himself as the black paladin. He knows he’s not meant to hold that role and knows that once Shiro gets back he’ll have a huge weight lifted off his shoulders that he just isn’t ready for. People might call him the black paladin but he’ll never see himself as such.

I’m also a firm believer that Keith connected with people in the blade and talked to them and they helped him rely less on instinct and control his emotions. They’re really helping him grow as a person and that’s something he didn’t fully have in voltron. He’s put himself in a complete 180 environment to what voltron was. It’s not about saving everyone it’s about the mission, and that’s helping him realize how cold some people in life can be.

At first Keith will probably resent the team for not fully understanding why he wants to join the blade and why he forced Shiro to take action and reconnect with the black lion but once they watch him grow and learn and see him change as a person they’ll slowly see that Keith wasn’t trying to run away he was trying to find himself, and that meant he had to leave voltron. Yet he has a whole lot to learn from the blade and that will really help him develop as a character and into the person he really wants himself to be. He wants to be more open with people and wants to be able to not get angry all the time and he really believes the blade is a place where that will teach him what he wants to know.  

Now for the big thing. The big stupid instinctual thing Keith did. This is probably going to be super long but whatever here we go, his sacrifice.

In the moment thousands of people were at risk by the planet exploding and crippling the coalition or he can sacrifice his own life and save them all. He knows that since he’s not a paladin anymore his sacrifice won’t directly cripple voltron, they’ll still have all their paladins and still be able to take down Zarkon. They’ll be able to do what they’ve always wanted, and he knows that if he gives himself up to save everyone that he won’t be forgotten. His memory will live on with Voltron and he knows that his death will only give them the strength to take action, he’s willing to give himself up to protect his family.

At this point he’s spent weeks with the blade and their slogan ‘the mission or death’ and all that jazz. He knows that in this moment his life is worth less than the mission they’re trying to complete. He’s just another blade member that is willing to put their life on the line to save everyone else around him. He knows people will be upset, he knows that maybe giving up his life isn’t the best thing to do but it was the only option at that point. They had ticks left before the planet exploded and their weapons weren’t making a dent in that shield but he knows that crashing his ship into it would be enough to at least give them the edge they needed to stop the ritual going on and stop the planet from exploding.

In that moment he recalls his whole life up until that moment and he’s happy with everything he’s done. He was apart of something so much bigger than himself and he knows that even without him around that voltron will still be able to defeat Zarkon and that they’re going to do what they need to do.

In that moment Keith lets everything go and he’s willing to die for the sake of thousands and for the sake of voltron. He’s not dying because he’s impulsive or because he wants to die. He gives himself up knowing that if he doesn’t then everyone that he loves and everyone that he cares about is going to die along with him and he can’t stand that thought. He protects the people he cares about and he’ll give himself up over any of the other paladins in a heart beat because they’re so much more important that he is. He can’t let voltron die so he decides to take a risk that would’ve costed him his life.

He doesn’t regret what he tried to do because there were literally no other options at that point and nothing else was working. He doesn’t think that what he tried to do was dumb or stupid because he’s not a paladin anymore, his worth isn’t greater than any of the other paladins because he hung up his armor and he moved on. Now he’s just a blade member and they’ve died to save voltron before so what’s the difference in that moment?

The blade of marmora are willing to lay down their lives for the sake of voltron and that’s exactly what Keith tries to do. His sacrifice wouldn’t have been in vain and he knows that. He’s just another member of the blade that nearly dies for voltron and he’s sound in his decision.

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Time for me to meta about everything the Keith video touched on.  PSA it’s a long read. It’s just over 2k words. Also psa DO NOT REBLOG.

I’d like to start off this with a song lyric that I feel really resonates with keith.

Have you ever felt like nobody was there? Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? Have you ever felt like you could disappear? Like you could fall, and no one would hear?

I’m going to start from the beginning of Keith’s life because frankly, that’s where all of his problems started. Keith has never canonically mentioned his father other than in the blade episode so there’s not much to go on there. BUT now that he’s mentioned his mother leaving him we can infer that Keith has abandonment issues. He blames the way he is now on the fact that his mother left him. His biggest question is WHY she left him. What did he do wrong? Why didn’t she love him? It’s all these questions that he’s asked himself for years now.

The next point I’d like to move on to is the abandonment issues that came along as a result of his mother leaving him. Now while I hc that his father died ( the show could prove me wrong but whatever ) and then Keith was shipped off to the Garrison instead of going into foster care that’s another issue of Keith being alone. His father left him by himself, no other family to contact. Instead they shipped him off to the Garrison where he tried to bust his ass to make something out of himself. He needed to prove to himself that even with all the shit he’s gone through that he could be more than his parents deaths.

I’d also like to point out how Keith is never taught any coping mechanisms on how to deal with loss or anger or anything that could make him uncomfortable. He’s literally been shown to lose his cool and get angry the second he feels uncomfortable. Why? Because he doesn’t have any other way of dealing with. It’s not like he wants to get angry all the time he just doesn’t know how to control it. He gets worked up and then can’t stop himself until it’s too late and then whenever someone such as Shiro or Lance call him out and ask him to calm down he’s calm almost immediately, why? Because he never intends to get that angry in the first place. After being called out about it it’s just another slap in the face that he can’t control himself or his emotions because he never had someone there to teach him.

This is where I wanna bring Shiro into the picture. They obviously knew each other through the Garrison ( my ships aside here ) they were most likely friends before Shiro went off to Kerberos. So not only had Keith finally made a friend, but he then had to watch them go off into space and then be reported missing. There’s another instance of loss in his life and he doesn’t know how to cop so what happens? He drops out because of disciplinary issues. Aka he couldn’t keep his temper in check because again, he bottled his feelings until the point where he was a human catalyst and exploded.

After dropping out Keith had basically no where to go so he found himself in an old shack. Where he got to stew on his feelings alone for a few months. This is when the realization that everything in his life as amounted to nothing hits him. His parents are both gone, his one and only friend is presumed dead in space and he dropped out of a top flight school where he was at the top of his class only to end up ALONE. Out of the 3 canonically relevant people he’d ever been close to in his life, all of three of them had left him. That’s when the depression hits him harder than before. He struggles waking up every day he struggles taking care of himself. His hair grows out he forgets how to interact with people. He doesn’t know how to function as a person anymore.

After awhile it was too much for him. He feels like he never deserved a chance to be born with in the first place because whatever high being there is out there ( I personally don’t think Keith is religious ) gave him this sort of life even after he busted his ass to try and become someone. Yet there he was, thrown out in the dirt once again.

Another thing I’d like to touch on is how Keith actually views himself because that’s super important to me and how I write him.

Keith doesn’t view himself in a good light at all for all the reasons I’ve already listed. Keith doesn’t see himself as the ‘number one pilot’ the rest of the team might see him for. He’s flawed. He can’t deal with most social situations without getting aggressive or awkward because honestly he’s had more interaction with people in the first two episodes of voltron than nearly his entire life prior to him finding Shiro again. So of course he’s awkward and quiet unless provoked. ( which honestly isn’t a hard thing to do BUT i digress ) He also has a hard time grasping a lot of social concepts that many people think are second nature. ( insert the i say vol you say tron example here ) The reason why he’s so hung up on the whole i say voltron deal is because to him, it makes more logical sense to just say voltron than to say something that, while yes it’s supposed to be humorous, just doesn’t make any sense to him. Keith isn’t one for humor that isn’t direct/blunt because a lot of the time his brain can’t wrap itself around the concept.

I also want to touch on his the relationships he holds with the paladins themselves and how he views their input.

I’d like to start this off with the beginning of season three whenever they were all deciding who was going to pilot the black lion. Their aggression towards him confessing that Shiro kept being like ‘i want you to lead voltron’ but having never mentioned it to anyone else, not even to coran or allura is like a huge kick in the face to the little confidence he had in himself.  One because he hates being rejected because that’s all he’s ever been his entire life. Two, is because he thought the team thought more highly of him than just the loner and yet there they were calling him out and making him feel like he was at the bottom of the barrel. The only talent any of them ever acknowledge is his piloting skills. Nothing else about him shines, he’s just a good pilot to them.

Moving on to whenever they all actually go in the black lion. Keith was the LAST to attempt and honestly he probably only attempted because everyone else was pressuring him to. He had to try right? Except he never wanted to lead voltron in the first place. He doesn’t have the skill set to lead he doesn’t have the qualities of a leader. Even after the black lion responds to him he wants to deny it, he wants to let someone else do it because he can’t have such a big responsibility placed on him whenever he knows he’s going to fail.

That’s when everyone starts to congratulate him and he feels like he’s just been kicked in the teeth. He knows their true feelings, he knows that know of them really value his ability to pilot over him and yet there they were being like ‘oh you’re going to be a great leader.’ Yet he wasn’t. He almost got Allura killed. They wanted him to lead so he did, and he failed.

Once again he’d failed. He failed his mother’s love, his fathers legacy, and how he’d failed Shiro. That only made the depression worse.

Moving back all the way to season 1 I want to talk about the famous ‘bonding moment’ that was humorously touched in the show.

The reason ( I feel at least ) Keith is so upset about Lance not remembering it is because for the first time since Shiro, Keith had found someone that had seen him in a good light. Someone that had complimented him. Even after all the headassery that Lance had started with Keith he thought they made a good team, and this good team work is shown time and time again throughout the show and yet the fact that Lance forgets it just solidifies to Keith that nothing he does is worth remembering.

This is the time where I put my little blurb about Lance and Keith and their interactions

So Lance starts basically everything in the rivalry between the two of them. Literally within the first five minutes of meeting Keith, Lance is already shoving his superiority down his throat. At first Keith didn’t understand why Lance was like this and why Lance kept pushing it on him. ( he even finds it somewhat annoying and like Lance has a problem ) Yet as time goes on the rivalry turns into a more competitive nature that Keith starts to play back with. At first Keith really just wanted Lance to get off his case, and now it’s like their rivalry has brought them closer together by the time season 3 rolls around.

My last few little blurbs before I close off this novel of a meta

Keith deals with anxiety and depression that’s almost without a doubt 100% canon in my eyes. The way he acts and the way he carries himself and how he speaks and the way he words things and all this stuff is clearly a sign that he’s struggling with it and he doesn’t know how to control it, yet he also doesn’t want to admit that he has a problem because he doesn’t want to fail everyone on the team yet again.

Keith also values everyone on his team way more than what he lets on. He protects Allura from the arusian that comes to the castle asking why the lion goddess is mad. He catches Pidge from being thrown and all the times he’s thrown his sword to protect Lance and everything else he’s done. He wants to protect the team because they’ve become almost like his first real family. Yet he’s also terrified that this new family will drop him too, just like everyone else.

Keith struggles with his galra side. He struggles taking in the fact that he’s not what he thought he was his entire life and that just makes him not know who he is even more. Sometimes whenever he looks in the mirror he doesn’t see himself, but instead Zarkon or Lotor because that’s where part of him is from. He hates the term ‘galra keith’ because it’s like the fact once everyone knows that he’s galra he’s instantly not himself anymore but instead this evil abomination that’s wiped out entire systems with his army.  Him being Galra is just the nail in the coffin that once again, he’s a huge disappointment to everyone.

He fears rejection big time. Because all anyone has ever done from the get go is reject him. His mother rejected him by leaving, he rejected himself from the garrison. Lance rejects him by throwing all of his flaws in his face. He can’t catch a break. He tries so hard to prove to everyone that he’s more than the broken parts of him that he hides away. He wants to try and prove to everyone ( including himself ) that he can be more than just some socially awkward teenager.

In closing I’d like to bring up the song lyric I put at the top of this post

Have you ever felt like nobody was there? Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? Have you ever felt like you could disappear? Like you could fall, and no one would hear?

This is basically how Keith views himself. He honestly thinks he’s replaceable. They could find someone else in the galaxy with his piloting skills. They could find a new red paladin that wasn’t the loner emo brooding hot head. He feels like everyone on the team has forgotten that hey, he’s a person with feelings too. Not just some teenage kid who gets angry all the time for the hell of it. He feels like if he died, he’d die alone. If he died no one would care because he never really amounted to anything in life. He never changed anyone’s life or impacted others the way some have done for him. If he died no one would miss him because he doesn’t even have a family on earth to go back to. He thinks that if he died, everyone would just keep on living and forget about him.

And being forgotten is his biggest fear.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[hhuta]

also looking back on it idk how many spoilers there actually are in that video because after all the whole thing is in hungarian but anyway | yess laurent get on that it's what we deserve | 🥺 thanks 💞 | we study simplified versions tho like much shorter and easier ones we're not smart enough for the ogs but thanks ajdshf | speaking of crossovers i've been getting dirk gently's holistic detective agency(2016) brainrot again and this is v niche but a mor dghda au would slap(or vice versa) -3D

i don't think you know what dghda is but i think you'd like it(it's on netflix i think if you have it) so i won't elaborate other than dirk is mozart and todd is salieri(or vice versa) | anyway salieri would suffer so much if mozart and mercutio lived in the same universe. poor man(at least meructio can't compose afaik so he only has to have one lbqfm) | that is high praise wow(well kind of bc you also bully salieri a lot /j) fun fact there's a french tdv(if you didn't already know idk) -3D

update on the french tdv: just found out the actress who played sarah also played aloysia (youtube(.)com/watch?v=D9ecPANGaNQ) now you HAVE to watch(i mean do want you want idek if there's a full video of it but. yknow) -3D

kldjalksjd sTILL i do prefer to not know anything before watching something

WHAT !!! but well. like i said. if ur reaching french author then i dont blame u dlajskllk

i do not know what dghda is but

"Although bellhop Todd Brotzman doesn't have a lot going on in his life, the worst awaits him. [...] That is when he meets Dirk Gently, a fast-talking, eccentric detective who has been hired to investigate the murder. He believes that he and Todd are destined to solve the mystery together. "

sure sounds like an AU them dlkajslkds the first sentence alonneeee i already feel bad for todd.. i also saw some pics and the show looks very fun

yes <3 thats the suffering he desevers and that i want to see. ldjask he cant compose but im sure that wouldnt stop salieri from having another homoerotic breakdown!!

it sure is and yes i do bully him a lot thats my job as a mother

stoppp dont mention french tdv... i remember finding out about it before i got into mor aka the time when i was a french anti so i just listened to one song and did not vibe with ittttkljklLDLKJLKDL so much that i didnt even pay attention to who was playing sarah oh my god ive watched that BBB video before and i had no idea it was the same actress!!!!!! wait ill listen to totale finsternis again.. 

bye it really is her and i still dont vibe it with it lkjlkLKJDLKKL maybe bc i prefer german, in general, so im already biased.... also i thought they were saying "forever" in the song but its "faux rêveurs" AAA i hated that so much cuz it sounded really dumb 😭 see i just really hate french. im really learning this language huh. bUT I CANT BELIEVE ITS HER???!!?!? THE CONNECTIONSS???? ITS ALL CONNECTED !!!!!!!!!!!! THANK U FOR TELLING ME IDK IF I WOULD EVER CONNECT THE DOTS.. WOW.. OH WOW...

[antiqone]

My local movie theater is screening one Steven Spielberg movie a week, in preparation for Ready Player One. Tonight was Back To The Future, so my mom and sister and I went. These are things I noticed about it for the first time:

At the beginning of the movie, during the clocks credit sequence, there is a clock with a paper figure of Doc Brown hanging from the clock tower.

Right before Original!1985 Biff leaves the McFly’s after haranguing George about car insurance/paperwork, he tells Marty to “say hi to your mom for me”. Yikes.

During dinner, Lorraine actually asks George what he was doing in the middle of the road that day her dad hit him with his car. George is all “what?Lorraine, huh?? I’ve never?? Waht?? idk?? *awkward laughter* hmm birb...washing”

John Mulaney is right. The writers of this movie had plenty of opportunities to explain the nature and/or origin of Doc Brown and Marty McFly’s relationship. They never do.

When Doc begins piloting the DeLorean towards himself and Marty, Marty starts to move away from Doc, and Doc Brown gives him this crazy look like, “have I?? ever?? steered us into trouble??”

“where are they?”/“no, it’s WHEN are they?”

the Peabody family IMMEDIATELY jumping to the conclusion that an alien landed in their barn is weird because cars existed in 1955, they have a truck that we see later next to their house. they’re being over the top so that we the audience know Marty is in The Past™ now.

“Stella, another one of these damn kids jumped in front of my car” the implication is that Lorraine’s dad has hit children with his car more than once. and his go-to solution is to call his wife for help.

Marty falls a lot in this movie. and just about always face-first?! is he alright?? I think he also hits his head a lot in the other two movies. Marty should definitely see a doctor after all of this.

I really like Lorraine’s parents. They are unexpectedly nice compared to parents as portrayed by most media set in the Fifties™ and Sixties™.

“Lorraine, if you ever have a kid like that, I'll disown you” what an oddly specific thing to say unless you’re an unaware character in a time travel movie.

I just now realize how much I love Crispin Glover’s performance as George McFly what a Mess™

Doc Brown GOING TO SCHOOL WITH MARTY to help make sure his parents get together is a little weird. They weren’t even on their way to something else; Doc Brown walked out of the house with Marty to the school just to stand around and do absolutely nothing. this is also the last time he accompanies Marty anywhere in town for the rest of the movie every other hijink Marty experiences in Hill Valley 1955 surrounding George/Lorraine love drama is without Doc.

“Look, there's a rhythmic ceremonial ritual coming up” just say school dance Doc you say other normal things why not school dance??

“I'm not that kind of girl”/“Well maybe you are and you just don't know it yet” Biff is actually terrifying?? and no one does anything ever to stop him?? the whole town needs an anti-bullying seminar yikes

“Silence Earthling. my name is Darth Vader. I'm an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan” this excellent scene was ruined for me by this post.

*Doc has made an excellent model of Main Street* omg don’t look it’s so bad it’s not even painted or drawn to full scale idek why I showed this to you it’s gross I’m so sorry. Marty: It’s good.

Lorraine explaining to Marty and Doc that she wants a man who can stand up and fight for what he wants and protects the woman he loves is such an interesting scene that I didn’t appreciate before.

the scene with Marty and George rehearsing what will go down in the school parking lot is so much more awkward than Marty’s first scene with 1950s Lorraine in bed, because in this scene Marty has to explain to his father that he’s going to make an unwelcome sexual advance on his mother so that his father can save his mother from him, their son.

some of the editing is weird: Marty is helping Doc set up equipment, Doc says he doesn’t want to have any knowledge of the future. We immediately cut to Marty at the same time of day at Lou’s Diner writing a letter to Doc?? Then we see them setting up equipment like Marty wasn’t just gone a second ago. Also this isn’t a flashback, Marty just changed clothes, helped Doc a bit, went to the diner to write, and then came back to finish time travel plans?? stuff like this wouldn’t be forgiven if it came out today.

Marvin Berry and the Starlighters beating up the bullies who called them slurs is my favorite thing in this whole movie.

“No, Biff, you leave her alone” I love an awkward fictional nerd

this isn’t a new thing I noticed but I Love Love Love George McFly punching Biff Tannen so much it’s my favorite thing in this whole movie it’s so satisfying and well-deserved 10/10

Marty: “ Oh, and if you guys ever have kids” they both look so awkward leave your cute nerd parents alone they’re fine go home Marty

Doc and Marty saying goodbye is a bit...weird. Maybe it’s just me but it feels as if Doc is kind of sad he wasn’t able to use the time machine first. I mean, he’s the one who spent his entire family fortune and 30+ years inventing it..and then his lazy teen friend (who we still don’t know why they hang out or how that started) just runs off with it. in an emergency, but still. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a bit resentful.

the Improved!1985 McFly family is nice, a little cheesy but that’s alright. What’s not as alright is that George regularly hires Biff, a man who hates him, to wash/wax his family’s cars. Right there in their yard. You know, the guy who repeatedly groped Lorraine throughout high school, going so far as to sexually assault her at a dance once. That’s the guy George is comfortable letting hang around his vehicles, house, and family.

“Roads? Where we're going we don't need...roads" aw yes the future and this time all three of them are going together this going to be so good this is my favorite thing in the whole movie.

I’m actually worried now that Steven Spielberg shouldn't release Ready Player One, is there really any way he could top this movie?

[lonleygirld]

Bullies....

thematureapprentice / November 28th, 2018

Are the men we work with bullies, or just guys treating everyone like trash as a joke like men do?

Today I pulled my toolbox out of the spray booth. Some point after morning tea a 2IC came up to my bench and kicked it while my bosses were talking to me about my job. I was heart broken by this....

I spent nearly a month and so much unpaid over time not getting home till 7pm fixing up this busted down toolbox to call my own because I can't afford a new one. Here come mister "pink is gay" from a previous post of mine and just randomly kicks it.

This didn't really do anything to it except it now has a black smudge from his boots on it. But like who does that, who just comes up and kicks someones shit like that. What if I went to his bench and threw something he owned on the ground does that mean I'm just "playing" or "mucking around" as he would call it.

I though this guy was decent just maybe a week ago when he was acting very greatful and what not for me and the others for staying back 3.5 hours to get a job done so his team could get it out on time. But no I just went straight back to thinking he is a old homophobic bully.

I get friendly banter, I get digging at each others mistakes to take the piss out of it. I do this every day with my team. But to just walk up and kick someones property, would be where I draw a line.

So, he walked up kicked my hard work and I just look at him and say, "You are an absolute dick head". He replies with, "What, why". I told him how I spent 4 hours just painting that tool box and that's just painting it, lets not even add the hours of sanding and pannel beating to get everything straight and looking nice.

He decides to reply with "Looks a bit rough, couldn't you do any better", I get that this was a joke I guess but I bit back with, "Just like your face eh". Now like I told cutie at lunch this guy looks like an old grumpy garden gnome, legit if you saw him it's the best description ever. He responded with, "I'm sorry I couldn't hear that". To which I responded, "That's a shame considering the size of your ears".

Now my bosses thought this was hilarious and laughed at him, but I guess the old gnome got a little butt sore and decided to walk away while pulling my toolbox behind him. He took it all the way to his department and I just carried on with my work. Did he expect me to chase him like a little sad child to get my belongings back? Or be just as butt sore that he took it.

I honestly didn't care, if he wanted to be that jerk he was doing that to himself. Sure my pride in my work fell and I didn't want to be at work anymore. But is that because I'm soft and can't cut it in a "Man's industry". Or just because I really care about the things I put my effort and time into and people are just ass holes and really shouldn't have a job that allows them to interact with other employees.

Now cutie wants me to file a complaint, because she sees it as bullying and something similar but not so similar happened to her before I started there. Literally disgusted about how work dealt with her thing. But anyways....

I don't know, I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow. Because he came over to my bench after lunch and grabbed the handle of my toolbox and wiggled it around as he said, "Do you know why I put it over there?". I had so much anxiety building up from this I could have had a break down at work. I just I'm so tired, I do so much, I don't deserve this petty childish bullshit. I'm not a child despite being an Apprentice, doesn't mean you can treat me like one. I told him that I did not care, and he proceeded to come closer and lean on my bench right next to me. He asked what was wrong if I was upset cause he was playing/mucking around with me. I just kept doing what I was doing, didn't look at him and said. "Dude just go away, I don't want to talk to you", he asked me why again and I just ignored him. I was about to either slap him or just go walk to my car. This ass hole actually got into a fight last friday like, dude pull ya head in okay. If someone tells you they don't like being addressed to as "OI" then maybe you should just accept that and leave it be, instead of acting like a child about it and getting into a play school fight. Man IDEK.

So yeah that happened today, I didn't want to stay back at work today to finish it. I lost my creative spirit and motivation to give a fuck.

In fact, I came home cried simply because I am just so exhausted and under appreciated and fell asleep in my recliner for about 2 hrs. Now I guess I'm finally gonna go have a shower, maybe cry a little more, hopefully fall asleep and I guess deal with work tomorrow.

Was thinking bout messaging one of these guys on snapchat from tinder, but honestly. I don't want to be that person right now. I know I need someone, but I got me. I don't know why I share half the shit I do on here. I feel like it helps at times, but then I feel like it's a waste of time. No one reads these, no one cares. Maybe I should just stop and keep shit bottled up like I did before him, before my life kicked me in the guts, before the cops and before knowing everything. Maybe I'll look back and read all this shit and think, D you have serious issues girl, you're such a loser. Ha I already think that 💜.

My last therapy session for the year is on Monday and that couldn't come soon enough.

Bye I guess xx.