#maybe guro... ugh

[hellonerf]

it was all in jest but now i think ame rly wants to run people over with a car. i think whenever he drives and its a red light and people crossing hes thinking abt it rly hard. its intrusive not in the sense of he doesnt want to do that and it  keeps popping up its intrusive cz he rly wants to do it but he shouldnt. i think he loves car crashes i think he loves people dying to cars. he likes cars he likes machine he does not care about the flesh

[inuyashaluver]

Hey, I have an idea for a Maybe you could do something with asthma where the reader gives her best during training or something but it got worse and then Guro helps reader ???

You don’t have to write it with Guro you can chose who you write for

Thankss

here for you - niamh charles

niamh charles x reader

description: in which reader has asthma and pushes themselves to their limit, resulting in a minor asthma attack, thankfully, your girlfriend knows exactly what to do

warnings: asthma attack, comfort, slight self loathing but very brief, lovesick idiots

a/n: hellooo, thank you so much for the request, I also have asthma so this was quite funny hehe, hope you enjoy! btw - lovely person who requested this asked for niamh instead!!

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asthma was something you struggled with all your life. it was always recommended that sport would allow you to benefit from the disease and expand your lung capacity, thankfully, your parents put you in soccer young - resulting in you getting signed to chelsea and the lionesses.

you met your girlfriend, niamh in the lioness youth teams, mainly acquainted until she got signed to your club, chelsea. you both began to grow closer to one another, steadily forming into a relationship after both of your pining and a steady push from your friends.

niamh knew about your asthma, she frequently got anxious thinking about you being in a vulnerable state. she always had your medication on her person just in case. especially now, since you were overseas at national camp, there is no way she would let anything happen to you. proven on your team walk in a foreign city.

“niamh, baby, you don’t have to carry my medication for me, I feel bad”

“I know babe, I just want to be extra prepared, what if something happens to you? also, you don’t need to feel bad about anything, silly”

she grabbed your hand in hers and lightly swung them back and forth, smiling down at you and placing a quick kiss on your lips.

you placed your cheek on her shoulder, lightly cuddling into her as you walked. after a lovely moment in solitude, you hear people behind you grimacing. you both turn to face milly and mary gagging,

“ugh we get it! you’re in love, good for you!” mary makes kissing noises at both of you. you look up at niamh again, “it is good for us isn’t it, baby” she leaned down and pulled you into a longer kiss, purposely stopping in front of them to hear their continued grimaced noises. you giggled when she pulled away and you bumped your shoulder with her own.

“you’re silly, niamhy baby”

“only for you, my girl” she smiled, shaking her head at you, giggling.

it was time for training, the final match was slowly approaching, meaning training was getting more intense and the girls are getting more serious.

everything was going well at first. everyone was doing training drills and light laps around the training grounds. you and niamh always partnered up for drills, she wanted to keep and eye on you but you were also both so incredibly obsessed with each other that any amount of separation was painful.

while the team was doing their laps, niamh noticed your laboured breathing, much heavier than it would be regularly. her alarm bells ringing as she looks at you concerned.

“hey, baby, how about we stop for a sec and have a drink hm?” she asked, slowing down to walking instead of jogging.

“niamhy, I’m okay” you breathe out,

“you’re not though, baby, please?”

“I promise I’m okay, beautiful, I’ll have a drink after we’re done.” you sped up and ran past her, you felt guilty that all she was focusing on was you and felt some separation from her would ease her worries.

she frowns watching you run away from her, watching you catch up to ella, alessia and maya. she decided to give you your space, as much as it was hurting her, she didn’t want to stress you out. she put her hand on your puffer in her pocket, squeezing it slightly, thoughts racing through her mind. she was stressed, and she couldn’t focus.

during the mini match, you were placed on the opposite team. you actively avoided niamh, still feeling extremely guilty that she felt that she was responsible for you. you’re stress and the intensity of the game had you struggling to breathe. you were standing with your hands on your hips while the play was going on. you couldn’t breathe. alessia, placed on the same team as you grabbed your arm and told you to sit down.

you were coughing and wheezing uncontrollably, you were having an asthma attack. niamh’s worst nightmare. she immediately sprinted over to you.

“(y/n/n)?” alessia asked “are you okay, love?”

you shook your head.

“need-” you breathe out, “niamh-”you continued to cough. you felt alessia move off you as niamh arrived where you were.

niamh took the puffer out of her pocket, kneeling in front of you.

“baby” she exhaled “baby, try and take a deep breath for me” she made eye contact with you

the girls moved away from the both of you, wanting to give you and niamh your space, this didn’t mean they weren’t looking at you concerned from a distance.

niamh directed the puffer into your mouth, placing a hand on your knee and lightly rubbing her thumb against it.

“breathe in, baby,” you inhale the medication, taking four breaths, “good girl baby, okay three more”

she administered the medication to you, your breathing finally regulated.

“well done, baby! all better?” you nodded at niamh but instantly started to cry.

“niamhy, baby” you cry out, tears frantically running down your face.

“what’s wrong, lovey?” she grabbed your face in between her hands, wiping the tears off your cheeks

“I’m so sorry” you shook your head in between her hands, closing your eyes tightly.

“hey, hey, hey, baby” she moved your head upwards in her hands, “(y/n), look at me, love, come on” she only called you your first name when you were in trouble, or you were in a serious situation

you open your eyes to look at her pouting,

“what are you sorry about?”

“that i'm a burden to you, you always have to look out for me and i’m making you miserable.”

she looked at you in disbelief, she was so upset at your words, her own tears brimming in her eyes.

“you listen to m,e (y/n) (y/l/n), you are never a burden to me, nor are you making me miserable, how could you even say that. you’re my girlfriend and I love you.” she spoke, not stuttering on any of her words.

“ if I didn’t want to take care of you, I wouldn’t. but guess what, baby, I do want to look after you. and I will for the rest of my life. my baby girl. don’t speak about yourself like that. it hurts me”

“is this why you’re distancing yourself from me?” you nodded at her with a pout. she looked right into your eyes. a tear ran down her cheek. you moved up to kiss it away and pulled her down into a tight embrace. crashing you down to the floor, her lying on top of you.

“I’m so sorry, baby” you spoke into her neck.

“if you apologise one more time I won’t hesitate to beat you up”

you laugh at her, she moves to slightly straddle your waist.

“I’m always here for you, okay?” you nod at her

“me too, baby” she puts her pinky out to you and you link your own with hers. smiling gently at each other.

“I like this position” you wink at her,

“cheeky” she shakes her head at you. she moves off you and grabs your hands to pull you up.

niamh pulls you into another tight hug. she whispers in your ear. “at least wait till we get back to the room.” her hand was on your lower back, beginning to move lower and lower.

“niamh charles! who’s the cheeky one now!” you exclaim, moving slightly to keep her at arms length.

“you love it, don’t lie.” she laughs when you don’t decline, giving you a loving, short kiss, communicating all her love and affection.

“alright you two! enough!” millie, your chelsea teammate expresses, “i can’t escape both of you.”

niamh picks you up bridal style and you yelp, quickly wrapping your arms around her neck. the entire team was smiling at the both of you, loving that your love was so genuine for each other.

“it’s not my fault, mills, she’s obsessed with me” niamh calls out, walking over to the rest of the team and placing you on the ground.

“no denying that, charles” you say, feeling her arms wrap around you and resting her head on your shoulder.

“okay, (y/l/n), sit down for a couple minutes and freshen up, you can join in a little later” sarina says, “the rest of you back to work!” she smiles at you and you go to move to the bench, stopped by niamh’s grip. you laugh and hold her hands and she places multiple pecks on your neck.

“charles! that means you too!” sarina yells, “I’m going! I’m going!” sarina and you both laugh at her antics.

she grabs your head with her hands again, peppering your entire face with kisses and finally landing on your lips, giving you a little kiss.

“love you, bye!” niamh gives you cheek a squeeze,

“I love you too, niamhy baby, off you go” giving her a light tap on her backside as she runs away from you.

“cheeky!” she yells out, running backwards and giving you a wink.

she managed to score a goal, pointing her finger at you. “for my baby!” you shake your head at her and blow her a kiss and she returns the gesture.

on the bus home, you both fell asleep, cuddling up to each other on the way to the hotel. everyone was gushing over you two, equally loving your relationship, you were in love and everyone couldn’t be happier.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

for the sake of the fic, this is you and not tooney (TOONEY I LOVE YOU)

liked by alessiarusso99 and 44,232 others

niamhcharles17: I love my girl ❤️ @/yourname

view all comments

yourname: niamhy baby!

↳ niamhcharles17: my baby!

↳ mbrighty04: sick of both of you

↳ niamhcharles17: @/yourname and I will make sure to be extra affectionate just for you

↳ yourname: cheeky!!

[autoexsanguine]

we'll make one other post about writing projects actually:

if you ever look at an idea and go "ugh, maybe thats a bit Much though. maybe thats silly. maybe i should dial it back..."

fuck that go crazy go stupid. alienate the lowest common denominator audience and cultivate a freakish fandom of six people feverishly kinning your characters.

this post is about putting explicit gay guro lesbian murder-sex in a story dont reblog it to be about things less interesting than that.

[noturbysshe]

Ten Characters, Ten Fandoms, Ten Tags

Thanks for tagging me, @eolewyn1010 ! Sorry that it took me that long, had a busy week - anyways, here we go, my ultimate fictional blorbo list:

• Thomas Sharpe // Crimson Peak (he’s my pal. He’s my home-boy, my rotten soldier. He’s my sweet cheese, my good-time boy. It was hard to decide whether he would be on top of the list or Edith, but I decided that he’s more in need of support than her <3)

• Helaena Targaryen // House of the Dragon (I feel like there’s so much more behind her character than we got to see in the first season, and I love the mix of her being generally quiet and her predictions giving so much weight to everything she says. Also I’m grateful that HotD has me falling in love with this whole universe again after the last season of GoT had ruined it for me.)

• Aimé Bonpland // Die Vermessung der Welt (I know that he was technically a real person, but the fictionalised version of him definitely belongs on this list)

• Madeline Usher // The Fall of the House of Usher (my favourite character from my favourite short story. I’ve already written two analyses of her character and role in the story whoops)

• Lionel Verney // The Last Man (because he needs and deserves a hug and a kiss from Adrian)

• Chevalier de Lorraine // Versailles (he’s so stupid, I love him. He is the poorest of all meow-meows.)

• Danny Holt // London Spy (I’ve watched this series an unhealthy amount of times, for a reason I can’t really remember. Maybe just to finally understand everything that was happening. But I still fell in love with this character)

• Charlotte Ritter // Babylon Berlin (I think I don’t have to clarify why she’s on this list. Just. UGH. Her being completely unhinged and reckless <3)

• John Clare aka Frankenstein’s Creation // Penny Dreadful (in my opinion the best representation of Mary Shelley’s original in modern media. He’s such a tragically beautiful and eloquent character, just like in the novel)

• Inspector Guro // Gogol: The Beginning (has cool sunglasses and knows how to make a memorable entrance)

Now to the difficult part - I‘ve not interacted that much with 10 accounts in order to feel confident enough to tag them :‘) Needless to say that you don’t have to participate if you don’t feel like it! <3

@ratbasement @omgwhatamievendoing @a-mask-of-anarchy (seems like I‘ve reached my limit of people I‘m confident enough to tag, who haven’t been tagged already. Whoopsie)

[siringadev]

Yes, this is homophobia. Like, gay incest ship of two consenting adults of equal age, when there is no sick offspring, people was like: "ugh, disgusting! This is sick and wrong!" But het incest with r*pe, power imbalance, age difference, involving minors, with the potential birth of sick offspring, people was like: "oh yeah, that's so hot, let's ship it!" I was surprised to find that het incest ships is very popular, example Game of Thrones and The Coffin of Andy and Leyley 💀 (I was randomly browsing artist's pages and came across the latest one, so much hardcore incest porn, including cannibalism and guro, I have never seen before and I want to unsee it) And people like it! Even the angry people on Reddit who insulted and humiliated Miquella/Radahn are now somehow praising this horrable The Coffin of A & L. So the only reason for the rejection of Weinero is homophobia, yes. Even if these people claim that they themselves are representatives of LGBT+, this does not exempt them from homophobic behavior and attitudes. It's like a syndrome of victims of homophobia, and it is difficult to get rid of them. Maybe this is some kind of defense mechanism to show themselves as "better" in the eyes of homophobes? To fit their "norm"?

Weinero issues Not that I'm complaining or lamenting, but it's kind of sad that outside of ao3 fanfics and few fanartists on pixiv, Weiss/Nero has little content and little fans, their pairing isn't even included in the Final Fantasy ships, they don't have fan pages anywhere, just two Nero fan pages on tumblr that barely get updated, and dead fan pages of Nero or Weiss separately from 2013-2016 on twitter, and the new ones are troll pages of Weinero haters (they attacked me and a few Asian artists who draw Weinero). That's it. That's all. Support is weak, or nonexistent. You can see all the ship combinations, even the absurd or disturbing ones, but Weiss/Nero won't be on any lists. https://shipping.fandom.com/wiki/Final_Fantasy It's weird, considering their love is written about in two official FF7 guides (Ultimania), and the canon love line is in the game itself.

What is wrong with them or with people? Is no one moved by their love and their interesting and deep story? Why do the most absurd ships exist (for example of characters who have never met each other or are enemies without chemistry, or have nothing in common, but I don't mean that it's impossible, everyone ships whatever they want, these are fictional characters, now we're talking about something else, about why one exists despite the lack of reason and logic, and the other does not, despite a good basis and connection), while others, logical, beautiful and emotional ones, barely exist?

You might say that Dirge of Cerberus isn't popular on its own… then why is there a ship like Vincent/Yuffie or Vincent/Shelke (both girls are minor) that originates from Dirge? People seriously discuss who Vincent would romantically love, Yuffie or Shelke.

And this ship post with Vincent/Shelke. https://www.tumblr.com/square-enixconfessions/63287999457/i-ship-vincentshelke-i-saw-an-interesting?source=share I just typed their names and this came out, this is what people looking te most.

You'd think it's because Vincent is popular, okay, let's type Vincent and Nero. Here. No "love story" or "romance"!

The Weiss and Nero stuff is just as sad. No discussion or anything other than brief mentions, copypasta from official sources, or "ugh, ship them? You can't love someone without suxualizing/romanticizing them anymore", "I like them as a brothers, no homo/no yaoi" etc. Of course, things can be much more complicated than it seems, and I don't really understand the reasons, and maybe I draw the wrong conclusions. I just want to say that some things in the ff7 fandom make me uncomfortable and even hurt, it makes me sad, but there is no guarantee that it will be better in other fandoms (to be honest, in others it is even worse, I look at Elden Ring, Dark Souls, Naruto, Marvel... )

[starthornisscratching]

You Look Good In Red/Hematolagnia

Tags:

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Ghost Rome (Hetalia), Dark fic, Self-Harm, Author Is Working Things Out, light guro, gurotalia, Whump, Ambiguous/Open Ending, i just don’t have the strength to keep questioning my own issues so I had to wrap it up :(, messy end too- sorry, Self-Indulgent

Pairing:

China/Rome (Hetalia)

Fandom:

Hetalia

---

Tw: self harm, blood kink, blood, and sadism/masochism

Read on Ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38120008

Or below, I guess. :/

China wasn’t like an average person in a lot of regards. The biggest reason, of course, was that he wasn’t even human.

Beyond that, though, there were still other things about him that weren’t normal. The way that one piece of hair in his ponytail would just not uncurl (it was the only curly section of hair that he had, actually), the bright golden eyes, the oddly high pain endurance. But it felt like there was one thing that set him apart from most people even more than those, even if the reason it felt that way was just shame.

The thing that made him bitterly different, in a way he couldn’t call good, was the fascination with blood.

It wasn’t even just a fascination… it was more. And he felt bad about it too, as someone who had seen so many horrible things having to do with it in the past. Still, no matter what he did, he couldn’t get rid of the thoughts- the urges.

To scratch open his arm, to rip apart the scar on Russia’s neck, to tear out his own hair or maybe even France’s. Just to get off. Ugh, just thinking about it…

Just the thought of blood. To smell it, to touch it, to- mmhg- taste it.

It was a guilty desire, to say the least.

What would the people he knew think if they were aware of these ideas in his mind? Would they be scared? Excited? Angry? Who was to say. (Perhaps other nations might understand, it wasn’t exactly unheard of for them to- over time- develop very odd and out of the way fetishes, but he didn’t want to find out. Mostly the thought of people knowing scared him. God, what the American government would use it for in their propaganda. How furious his own boss would be- or maybe not. Maybe he would think it suited him.)

China didn’t want it to suit him.

He didn’t want to have to think about it, to have the thoughts invade his mind when he just wanted to have a regular day or (at the very least) a day without sexual pleasure derived from some sort of imagined violence. …But it would be a lie to say the violence was all in his head.

For the longest time, before he knew how to deal with it, the actions had been real. Though he had never hurt anyone else, except Rome the one time he let China do so (he still fantasized about that night). The scars were faded by the modern day, too old to make out what they had once been, but many many years in the past, he had made them himself.

It had started as a shameful way to be in control of the pain in his life, for once, but it had spread from there, after a few horrible realizations. The only way he managed to pull out of it was by imagining the actions instead, and getting rid of all his knives. (Even the ones he used for cooking, for a while- he just ate in restaurants instead.)

But he still took horrid pleasure in those memories.

He loved the feeling of the blood rushing down his skin, just watching it try to cling to him- pulling away from the injury and creeping along. He could almost smell it then, the bitter-sweet iron that belonged to that beautiful, red liquid.

Mmh- it made him feel all hot, sweaty, even sticky. Like he was going to peel out of his skin and explode. Nothing else really did that to him, at least not like other people described it. How France talked about the human men and women that he courted, how Rome described, well- anyone. There hadn’t been a time where the feeling of “regular” attraction outweighed the type of hot he felt when seeing that sweet, sweet, blood.

God, the sight of Rome with it all over him, chest heaving, sprawled weakly against the headboard. His face flushed and muscles flexing as the pain pounded over him. How when China looked down at his hands the red was smeared there too, dripping down onto his fellow empire’s abused abdomen and-

Blood was good enough on its own, but in a sexual situation? Man. Nothing better than that, ever.

The memory was decades old, hell, a thousand years old. Still, it was fresher in his mind than most of the other things he had experienced in… well, ever. So clear, every sound, every feeling, every thing . And Rome loved it too. The only reason they hadn’t done it again was that- wait.

Actually, he had no idea why they hadn’t tried it again, or even the other way around (with Rome scraping into some of China’s flesh). He would have loved that just as much as Rome getting cut up. Rome was a gladiator in life, he should have been fine with all that. Should have known that China was as well, given that he was the original instigator of the situation.

In bed, China sat up.

His heart was beating fast. So fast. Like if it got any quicker it would rip straight out of his chest and hit the wall across the room, with a splat of blood and flesh. It hurt a little bit to think, but the idea was just a little bit… attractive. Hot, even.

What he would do to have Rome in his room, right then. Just to drag him into his bed and fuck him into it- with a knife held hard against his chest. Just barely cutting into him (or maybe just a little bit more than ‘barely’). Man. What a thought.

His eyes rolled closed and he flopped back down onto the bed, knees up and chest feeling hollow as he exhaled. Mm. What he would give to have Rome back, just for that moment.

Rome was beautiful. Muscular too- which happened to be one of the best surfaces to cut into (in China’s opinion). That was exactly the reason his own calves and biceps were covered in the old scars from arguably worse times. But in a few different ways that it didn’t really concern China, Rome had his… issues. He was a little bit stuck up, overzealous, too smart for his own good- and he knew it.

Personality wise, the pair had never really gotten along. They traded goods like the merchants they were, they fucked like the young adults they physically were, but that was about it. They were times when China missed Rome for purely friendly reasons. Or for romantic ones. Mostly though, they had only gotten along for trade or for sex.

And when he thought about it, China only wanted to see Rome so badly at that moment for sexual reasons, even if they delved into his unhealthy interest in the other’s blood.

Oh fuck-

He bit back a huffing groan at the image in his mind. Rome wriggling under him, moaning in agony and pleasure. The blood making them stick to the sheets, soaking under the top layers of the bed. China’s hand began to reach downwards…

In all regards, the situation between Rome and himself had been fully consensual. It hadn’t been safe, and any modern BDSM fans and exacerbators would’ve been beyond horrified at how dangerous the interaction had been. But for a pair of nations who couldn’t really die, at least not forever from injuries alone, it had been nothing short of a thrill. The possibility of temporary death made it all the better.

How he wished that he could have that again. Just one more time.

His hand moved faster.

Rome’s chest heaving, his own chest splattered and stained with blood and sweat (the sweat washing at the redder substance). How they moved together, as if it were a normal sexual encounter. The way, when he was close, he handed Rome the knife and let him have a go at the whole sadism half of the deal. Just for a moment.

From an outsider's perspective, it was horrible. Death defying or worse. Torturous and even inhumane. Beyond alien and yet…

Exhilarating .

With a series of gasps and one last shout China finally came.

The next night, he experienced a similar set of events. And the night after that. And again, the night after that. He just couldn’t get the fucking thought out of his head, no matter what he did. Eating dinner? Suddenly thinking about shoving his face into Rome’s bloodied stomach and rubbing his nose into the cuts. Signing government documents? Unable to get the image of his ancient trade partner shivering under him to leave him alone. It just went on and on.

He couldn’t get away from it.

Since when had all of his interest been focused so randomly on the long-dead empire? It was those memories. Real images that undermined all other possible attraction, swept aside all his previous fantasies regarding Russia or Japan or anyone else. He was obsessed.

He scraped his mind over and over, trying to think of anything else he remembered. Maybe a ‘scene’ his mind skipped over when he thought about his bloodied encounter with Rome. Maybe a more clear recollection of one of those sweet, sweet yelps or groans.

It was during one of these frantic brainstorming sessions that he remembered. Hadn’t Germany once, at a meeting, mentioned Rome visiting him? In the modern day, as a ghost? Yes, he did believe that had happened. (He believed Germany, mostly because the guy didn’t exactly lie very often, but also because he had once run into ancient Egypt and her son at a supermarket in Switzerland. She was supposed to be dead! If that was possible, anything was possible.)

But what could have Rome choose to go to Germany? And, more importantly, what could China do to make Rome want to visit him?

Maybe he could ask Germany, or Italy even. Germany said that Rome was there because of Italy anyway…

Wait.

Hadn’t Germany also mentioned that Rome tended to just… watch the people he knew in life? Or if using darker terms- stalk them? Rome had known China in life, oh fuck he had. So maybe, he was being watched right then?

The thought sent shivers up his spine that weren’t entirely pleasant. Mostly though. They were mostly good. Hopeful, generally. Maybe just a little bit of those exhibitionistic tendencies he had picked up a couple years back. (After a very short-lasting but very uhh… intense , fling with America, that was.)

It felt like he had been waiting for Rome for years, even if the obsession had really just come back a few weeks before. Technically though- he had been waiting years, hundreds of years. Over a thousand years, even. What he would give for some of that blood right then, after having been kept from it for so, so long.

Oh what he would give for that fulfilling comfort of release after so long.

Too long.

And still, Rome did not show up, even though China woke up at odd hours of the night to check if he was there. (He was losing sleep over it, so the obsession had officially become unhealthy in his mind, not that his blood-lusting, sex depraved mind gave this so much as a second thought.) He checked over his shoulder whenever he was alone, and peered around him even more agitatedly than normal when he was in public. He got some strange looks for that one, but who could blame him? He was becoming a little bit desperate.

Weeks later, he still couldn’t get the images out of his mind. But they weren’t enough anymore.

He needed something. Someone. Fuck- he needed Rome.

Rome and his blood, particularly. Or Rome with a knife. China could make due with his own blood, that was good too. It was that thought that made him realize it. He had knives, he had blood within him.

It wasn't a good thought. It wasn’t a safe thought or a sane thought either. In fact, it was rather unhealthy. Very unhealthy. That was why he had left it behind in the past, why he tried so hard to ignore the urges, to push them down.

But he was too far gone at that point to really care. Not like he used to care. It was just going to be that once, anyway. Right? Just that once. He wouldn’t do it again.

It was just that the simple mastrabation or reminiscing wasn’t enough anymore. He needed something real, something substantial. (It was almost like he had grown out of one pair of boots and needed another- if the boots were sexual fantasies instead.)

He would just do it once.

His hand reached for a knife that laid on the kitchen counter and gripped it tightly, knuckles turning white.

Just this once, he had enough self control to stop the next time he got the urges.

His pupils dilated and his breath quickened. The blade lowered towards his arm. He was excited and scared, at the same time. Horrified with himself and yet so happy he was about to do what he was about to do.

The blade sunk deep into the rough skin of his arm.

His eyes rolled back and he moaned out in pain. Oh, it felt good to be back.

And yet, contrary to his reassuring thoughts, China didn’t really have the willpower to stop once more. Not after he had opened the floodgates. Not after he reminded those deep recesses of himself what could be, if he gave in. Not after he made the discovery of imagining he was cutting into someone else- or that someone else was cutting him to him. Not after he watched that bitter-sweet maroon dripping onto the tile floor and splattering there. Not after he got some of it on his face and tasted it, for the first time in ages.

It was an addiction that he couldn’t, for the life of him, stop.

Some other nations might have had an unhealthy addiction to compulsive exercise or to cigarettes or wine. Some humans might have to. But not him. No, it had to be the cutting. Just for the sake of the blood, just the sight of it. The tanginess that large quantities of the stuff tended to leave in the air, how well it stained his carpet and his sheets and his clothing.

He didn’t even hate himself. Didn’t even dislike his life all that much, at the moment.

Mentally, he felt fine. Really.

Maybe that was what made it feel so unnatural. So unacceptable and so unattractively wrong . It felt like no one else would ever get it . That no one else could see where he was coming from, where the attraction stemmed from or how it gave him such pleasure to watch the blood flow out of him. Or someone else. Just as it was present and he could see it.

Even he didn’t understand.

For a very long time, longer even than he had been able to put a finger on what felt so different about his attraction, he had hated it about himself. He had hated the niche nature of his paraphilia, had hated the fact that he just couldn’t stop it- no matter what he tried or how many times he beat himself up over it. Figuratively of course, because beating himself up literally would likely do the exact opposite of the intended goal.

But Rome would get it, right?

If he ever visited China again, he would. He had to. That was all that China was banking on at the moment and more. All that he could hope for. All that he could think about when he didn’t have a knife stuck in his arm.

He woke up one morning, and saw a face hovering over him. He jumped in surprise, not even recognizing the person at first. The man had brown hair- nicely curly. Tanned skin with a scraggly beard and an off-green tunic. He had nice green-brown eyes too- hazel if you were stretching it. And-

“Rome?!” China exclaimed, all the exhaustion and bleariness wiping itself away from him in an instant. He sat up, nearly hitting hits with the ghost, and reached out a hand to see if he was real.

Rome backed away in shock at the sudden movement, China’s hand missed his cheek and brushed his collarbone instead. China felt a shiver of excitement pounding in his chest, but there was something else too- something he hadn’t expected. He felt… well. He wasn’t sure if he could describe it as sad , really. But it wasn’t a happy emotion. It was like all that time of missing his fellow nation (which had been bottled up for so long) was choking him, stuck in his throat. All of the ways he had missed Rome other than the sexual ones- wrapped up into one huge bundle of mess .

And then he felt himself crying.

Rome didn’t say anything. He looked guilty.

China didn’t know what was happening, or why he was crying. He was better than that! He could keep it down, right? So he frantically wiped his eyes and tried to swallow down the big hulking glop of bad emotions, trying to replace it with something else. With relief maybe? But that didn’t make him feel any better. “I-'' he tried, but his words failed him. Frustrated with himself, he shook his head. “God, Rome…” he tried again, but his voice died in his throat.

Then Rome spoke up.

“Are you… feeling alright?”

It was like that one question was what he had been really waiting for all that time, not the blood, not the sex. It was like someone else bringing it up made it all seem not okay again, that none of what had recently happened was really alright. And he didn’t even question why the ghost was there, or why he hadn’t appeared ever before, or why he was so sad instead of whatever he had expected.

China’s head was in his hands. “No,” he responded.

“It’s gotten worse?” Rome asked.

“Way worse,” was China’s quiet response.

The real weight of everything came crashing down as he looked at his arm. His vision was spotty and distant due to the loss of blood, but even through that he could see the messily bandaged, mangled flesh of his arm. He could see the dried blood that wasn’t quite washed away and the torn skin that went with it. All of a sudden he could feel the pulsing pain without any of the blurred mask from the pain tolerance or the rose-tint of the masochism.

It hurt .

“A-Ow…” he squeezed his eyes shut, free hand gripping his mutilated arm, which made things a lot worse (though he couldn’t force himself to let go).

“Hey…!” Rome went towards him, pulling China’s hand off his arm, only to accidentally replace it with his own vice-like grip.

China choked out in pain and ripped the injured limb away. Feeling horrible and blank at the same time, like he was trying to block it out. He was embarrassed. Rome wasn’t supposed to act like he was worried! He was supposed to think it was hot, maybe laugh at how pathetic he was being (like he would have in the old days).

“The world’s different now Yao,” Rome pleaded with him, “You can’t just-”

Then China felt angry. “Why do you care?” he barked back, trying to keep eye contact with the former empire- but couldn’t maintain it as Rome looked away. “You wouldn’t have cared before!” He tried to catch Rome’s eyes again, but was unsuccessful. All the staring made him feel dizzy and he collapsed back a little bit, catching himself with his good arm. Rome jolted forward to catch him (though he didn’t have to), which just made China feel worse. More angry words began to bubble up, but Rome interrupted before any of them could leave his mouth.

“I’ve… been watching,”

A hole seemed to open up in China’s stomach. Like the bottom was dropping out. Gone were any good emotions that might have stayed past the anger. “It’s- no. It’s not-” he looked up desperately, his voice cracking once more.

“I don’t think that you’re…” Rome trailed off again. “I mean,” he tried again, “I heard you say my name,”

If he had more blood in his body China probably would have flushed an unpleasantly warm amount. Instead, he just shook his head. “Rome, oh- I didn’t,” he tried to explain himself, but there was nothing to explain with . Nothing he could use to make even a moderate sense of it all, nothing that would seem okay . “Shit,” he swore, and then swore some more. “Shit- damn it,”

He felt horrible, but some part of him was satisfied. Happy that at the very least, Rome knew. A tiny little bead of hope falling into the lake that was the negative emotions, even as he continued to curse himself out.

“No, you can’t just-” Rome went forward again to try and stop the self-deprecation, grabbing China’s non-injured wrist and pulling it up. He knocked China off balance a little bit and had to grab him around his back so he wouldn’t fall. At least it shut the living nation up.

Their faces were dangerously close together.

China felt sick- they were so close to what his subconscious was still begging for. Rome seemed to notice too, because he pulled his head back and squeezed his eyes shut. They sat there, silently, neither willing to look up into the others' faces.

Rome still wasn’t looking at him when he spoke. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, “I should have been there for you,”

It was a funny statement because they both knew China didn’t need him. It was certainly nice to have him there, just as it was nice to have Japan or Russia or Vietnam. But really- he didn’t need any of them. According to history, they would all leave him eventually anyway, no matter what he did to stop it or to speed it up. Still, what little comfort it was proved to be enough to make China feel heard, if just a little more than before.

“Why didn’t you show up sooner?”

Rome’s response came slowly, with a jolting start, followed by a short pause (like he didn’t know what to say, or how China would respond). “I-” he choked off, “...was scared,”

China didn’t have to use any words to convey his question. ‘Of what? ’

Luckily, Rome managed his answer. “Of you,”

They were silent for a beat. Rome repeated himself. “I was scared of you ,” his voice was as if he were pleading again.

China didn’t know what he was pleading for. The hole in his stomach seemed to erode up to his heart. One big emptiness inside him- tearing into itself like quicksand. A sort of desperation filled it, different than before. Like he had to say something or that he had to know what Rome was thinking, how the inner mechanisms of his mind worked. So he blurted out the only words that could think of. “I don’t want you to be scared of me,”

“Then you have to stop,” Rome stuttered, “You have to stop all…”

“What do you know,” China buried his face into his arms, trying to block out the continuing spots in his vision. “How would you know anything about this?”

“I’ve been watching-”

“But do you know what it’s like for me?” China snapped at him, making Rome jump as he whipped his head back up and stared into his eyes with that unwavering glare.

Rome didn’t know what to say to that and just swallowed nervously, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from China’s that time. They were distracting, hypnotic even. Bright golden- a far more unnatural than even most other nations. It was an eye grabbing color, and tended to glow a bit in dim light. But mostly, the power of the stare came from how intimidating the person behind those eyes was. (Even if he were slightly incapacitated at the moment due to self-inflicted injuries.)

When you looked into those eyes it was almost like the rest of the room was suddenly thrown into darkness. So bright, with such infinite memories behind them, that nothing else could stand up and overpower it.

Nations were complicated creatures.

On one hand, they were just like a person in their emotions and their problems. They too got upset over stupid little things like dropping and ice cream cone on the ground. They too got way too over-excited to see their current favorite band on tour, even if they knew their interest in the band would dwindle out in the span of a few years. On the other hand, they were anything but human. Physically parts of their bodies referred to different areas of land, the hundreds of years of trauma and suffering behind their words. The connection to a land that really shouldn’t have been alive, what with the whole explainability of their existences.

They represented thousands if not millions of people’s wishes and wants and the political influence of their own wishes ebbed and flowed not unlike the tide.

And somehow the wishes of these thousands of already infinite humans, along with the music and the past and everyone who had ever spoken to them, wove themselves into a functioning being with their own personal interests. It was impossible to make sense of and impossible to wrap one’s mind around. Rome didn’t like being reminded of that, especially not through China- because it seemed the older a nation got, the more apparent these thousands of years were when face to face with their emotions.

So Rome tried to back away.

“I shouldn’t be here,” he mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut. “I shouldn’t be…”

China reached up and grabbed his hand, a surprising amount of strength behind it. “No!” he exclaimed, eyes flashing a more panicked light. Not all traces of the anger were gone, but he was already visibly forgetting about that emotion. “No, please,” he readjusted his speech, softer this time, feeling Rome jump in surprise at the touch on his arm.

There was a short silence. “...Don’t leave me,” China whispered, his voice sounding tired. Like five thousand years of emotional exhaustion had just caught up with him.

Rome started.

He hated being put in this position. Choosing between staying with someone to comfort them and having his own wishes held. (Plus, it really played into his hero complex, if one could call it that.) They both knew that China didn’t need him, but they also both knew the vulnerability of a nation asking another for help- even if Rome was dead and debatably not a nation anymore. That type of vulnerability was oddly… respectable.

Even if Rome tried to pull away any further, China’s grip on his arm was so strong that they probably wouldn’t be separated. So he slowly leant down again from his rigid kneeling. Their faces were close again, but Rome didn’t feel anything. He had grown as a person, or at least he liked to think so. He didn’t want to see the suffering of his friends, probably never really had… but it had been hundreds of years since he was so numb to that violence and the wish to help was back in full force.

The best way he could explain the bloodlust from back in the day, was some sort of leftover trauma from his years as a gladiator. Some sort of normalization that he hadn’t been aware of because he never would have thought it existed. After all, he hated the life of a gladiator- it had been punishment as sometimes he couldn't fight back against his boss’ judgment. He hated watching his own people die, or hurting them himself (as often happened), even if the sport was admittedly thrilling. (Weren’t most games of death that way, though? It wasn’t just his own problem.)

He didn’t want to identify any trauma with China, because he frankly didn’t know him very well after all those years of being dead, but he wondered if there was anything like that there. At least to make it ‘worse’, if it was already there. Something forgotten or blocked out, maybe.

Or perhaps he really had always been like that. That was possible too, Rome supposed, as he laid down next to his fellow nation’s heavily breathing form.

Shit, was China crying? The world felt fuzzy, like Rome was watching from somewhere else. He couldn’t tell if it was the whole ghost thing or some weird dissociation, that time. He couldn’t hear the words China was saying, too caught up in things he couldn’t identify. Maybe he wasn’t saying words, maybe nothing that Rome wanted to hear. Nothing that either of them wanted to hear. An apology possibly- nations rarely enjoyed apologies. It felt odd to fault oneself in an existence where such a thing could mean the loss of a battle or respect of their people.

It was risky in the presence of another living nation- but Rome was dead. That made the situation different, though it didn’t really make it all that much less brave.

Nations were afraid to admit weakness.

Rome wasn’t afraid to admit that he was scared of China, but somehow he was still scared to really say outright that he cared.

[magdasabs]

Not watching, how are we playing? Any chance we will win

Ugh where do I begin. Defence is good, it's a back 4 and they seem to be working well surprisingly, especially since Millie-Aniek-Jonna have never played together I don't think. Midfield is non-existent, it doesn't look good at all and it's Spence + others drifting in at times, usually Jessie. Maybe I haven't seen enough but there's something off with the left wing, a lot of the attacks are coming from there but it just seems like it's Jonna and then Guro has nowhere to go but in the box and well, I just don't think she's great at converting crosses. Fran had a really good 1v1 chance but she took the shot way too early so there hasn't been anything much more dangerous.

[scummy-writes]

[CHAPTER 11]

-> ita been years but now I want a lot of guro(?) art with gilbert, i think. I wish I still drew. Not the erotic versions of it, but the venting of emotions version of it. I dont know if thats still referred to as guro or not. I miss that type of art, every time i go and look for it though it is fetishization of it and not at all the venting of emotions with it. Maybe its a different term and i was misinformed as a kid

-> "i'm have to help her with that" cybied your typos are slightly better lately but still bad, ugh

-> i think the references to the emperor, from gil, is a mixture of cursing the mask he dons when its something he is responsible for, and then cursing his father.

-> these moments are so sweet. Im so mad about his trauma.

-> i understand the naivety is important to this route but its a little painful this chap.

-> letter has 'naughty little rabbit'. I. Need to excuse myself, thank u

Not much notes this time around

GILBERT ROUTE SPOILERS POST

When Gilbert's route drops, I'll be reblogging this post each chapter or so with thoughts and general screaming under a cut. I'll be having it in a format with the chapter numbered, and then a cut directly after where I'll be yelling.

I'll be using the tags 'Scum Simps' and 'scum plays gil route' for those of you who want to filter it out. Thank u!

[guro-giri-letters]

You think so? : Shigaraki x nurse reader!

- By Guro. ♡

/You’re a nurse at a recovery centre for villains, and you think you might be in love with one. Just a wholesome fluff fic! The VRC is an idea Sweets helped me come up with and I may write more things connected to it in the future! Hope you enjoy! ♡/

/Tags l Tw ; brief description of medical procedure, Shigaraki being grumpy, (secret?) established couple, nurse, wholesome. ♡/

“Tomura, stay still please,” Shigaraki grumbles, but you can see his fingers trembling around the glass you gave him to sip from. You don’t even think he drinks, but anything to keep him occupied while you give him a few stitches is good enough.

Snipping the medical thread and leaning back, you study your handiwork and give yourself a nod. It’s not too bad, a medium-size wound curving over the back of his shoulder, but awkward as hell to stitch. It looks good, despite all of his fidgeting. If he doesn’t do anything too strenuous for a few days he should heal fine, you think, resting your palm against his bony back. You can feel the knots of his spine through his pale skin. He jolts in surprise and shivers a little, leaning back against the warmth of your palm. “There, you want something for the pain?”

“No. I’m fine,” he mutters in response, voice rough as stones stuck in car-tyres. He stares into his glass a moment before downing the last of its contents, clenching his teeth right after doing so. “Ugh.”

“How about some of that for me, nurse?” Dabi’s own gritty voice rattles across to you and you turn your head. He’s laid out on the table in the middle of the kitchen, being worked on by your co-worker. You shoot him a look from where you sit behind Shigaraki, rising and tucking your stool back under the breakfast bar. “Come on, I’m torn open here,” the burnt man continues. He’s not lying. The patch of purple prosthetic skin that wraps around his side and creeps over his stomach has torn at the seams quite badly, your co-worker currently stitching it all back into place. They glare at Dabi every time he moves, earning a cheeky grin back from the villain each time.

“I thought you could tough out a few stitches?” You tease, but you pull down the whiskey bottle and offer it to him anyway. He takes it over the top of your co-workers head and un-caps it, taking a swig straight from the bottle.

“I can, but this is good- shit,” he hisses when the needle is dug in particularly hard, scowling at the nurse bent over him. “Asshole, you trying to kill me?”

“I wish, Dabi. I wish,” they mutter tiredly in reply.

“Stop the bickering, we’re all professionals here,” you chide them, pulling out a drawer and poking around until you find the tin that holds the medical staples. You pause, considering, and then pull out a container of pills as well. If Shigaraki won’t take pain relief you’ll at least give him something to help him sleep.

You work at the VRC. Yeah; Villains Recovery Center. It’s not much, just a small team of people with decent medical experience, funding, and a common hatred for hero society. You work out of a well-hidden and out of the way manor that doubles as your own and most of your co-workers main home. You’ve got a small apartment further into the city but honestly, you barely bother going back there anymore. You’ve found yourself a family here where you had no one before, and it feels good to help people that are out there doing the work you can’t.

Even if those people are often times ungrateful, grumpy, snarling villains. “I don’t want them!” Shigaraki snaps as you try, again, to get him to take the pills. “We’re not staying the night, I can’t take them. We’re on the move.”

“Not stay- yes, you are very much staying the night, and stop scratching!” You grasp his wrist and tug his hand away from his throat, ignoring the furious look he gives you as you grip his chin, tilting his head to inspect his neck. “I’m putting cream on this.”

“Get off.” He pulls his wrist back but you hang on to him, giving him a serious look. “What?”

“You’re all staying the night, Tomura, you need some proper sleep. Dabi’s in pieces and I’m pretty sure Spinner has a concussion,” the more you talk, the more the leader of the League of Villains deflates under your hands. By the time you’re done he’s slumped on his stool, still half-glaring but not really mad anymore. You know he’ll do the right thing for his group, you’ve known that since the first time they landed in needing your teams help. Shigaraki isn’t good at showing it, but he really does care for the little family he’s brought together. They hate it when you call them a family.

“Fine. We stay,” he rasps out eventually, looking up at you through his blood-flow gaze from where he sits. With no shirt on you can see how bony and thin he truly is, ribs and collarbones visible through paper-thin, raw skin. He almost looks delicate, you think, as you trace your fingers under his jaw and down his throat. Easy to break. Yet there’s so much power hidden inside of him. You can’t imagine being him... being Tomura Shigaraki. The leader of a war against a society of false idols.

His lips start to curl up at one corner, baring his teeth at you slightly. He’s happy to be admired by you in a more private setting, but your co-worker and Dabi’s eyes are two people too much it seems. “You’re staring, nurse.”

“Sorry,” you say quickly, because you genuinely hadn’t meant to. “Take your pills, let me get the cream for your neck.”

-

Shigaraki isn’t shy about undressing in front of you anymore. He had been once, yelling at you when you’d walked in on him naked as the day he was born. You know he was just embarrassed, self conscious. You’d made it very clear that, one, he shouldn’t yell at you if he liked receiving medical treatment. And two, you really didn’t care about his appearance or for that matter, find him ugly. All of his red, raw, scarred skin was just a part of him. Probably eczema or some other allergy. But you definitely didn’t find it ugly.

He strips off slowly, wincing any time he strains his stitches, and then shoves his clothes aside in a pile with his foot. “You want to have a shower?”

“No,” he sighs, sounding suddenly exhausted, scratching at his hip and stretching before shuffling toward the bed. You pull the covers back for him, your professionalism falling away, smiling thinly as he climbs under them a little awkwardly. “You baby all your villains this much?”

“Maybe I do,” you reply, pulling the covers up over him before he can do it himself, looking at his face. The look he’s giving you tells you he’s not amused. Quite the opposite, actually. He looks annoyed. “I’m kidding, Tomura. Only you get my VIP treatment.”

“I don’t think I believe you.”

“Are you jealous? Seriously?”

“No.”

Angry now, he turns over and away from you to face the wall. You can’t help the smile that curves your lips even further, looking at the stitched up wound on his shoulder. Shigaraki knows you care about him, more than you should care about any of your ‘clients’, he just likes to huff. He jumps in surprise when you press a kiss against his shoulder, just above his stitches. “Hey...”

“Hmm, Tomura?” You pull back to look at him as he turns his head, eyeing you over his shoulder.

“...Are you staying?” He asks, reaching a hand back to brush his knuckles over your cheek. You know what he means: Are you staying with him. How? How can this criminal, this villain, be so sweet all of a sudden?

You don’t even bother replying, just lean back from the bed and toe off your slippers. He watches over his shoulder as you undress down to your underwear, leaving your clothes in a heap next to his and climbing in. “Careful,” you murmur as he turns to face you, still wary of his stitches but it seems he’s already forgotten about them. When you’re both comfortable he just looks at you for a while, laying on his side as you lay on yours. Your lack of fear around him has always perplexed him. You lift your hand to his face slowly, smoothing the teal locks out of his eyes. He doesn’t flinch any more, he trusts you. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” his rough voice is quiet in the empty room but he finally sounds calm, relaxed. You know there’s a lot of things he’d like to say to you, that he’d like to ask of you. He just doesn’t know how to. You don’t think people realise how young he is, how timid and inexperienced he can be. He’s not used to feeling cared for. Dabi likes to make terribly dirty jokes, about your relationship, about what the two of you get up to. Little does he know the most you’ve ever done is held each other. Touched each other’s faces and cuddled close when one of you needed to feel protected. Because you haven’t had an easy life either. No one hates heroes the way you do without a reason, and sometimes you need the comfort just as much as Shigaraki. You think he gets it, he knows.

You’ve kissed a few times, but it was all so gentle and... loving?

Are you in love?

“What’re you thinking about?” He asks, sounding genuinely curious, red eyes that almost glow in the dark studying your face close. You flush a little under his intense gaze; are you that easy to read?

“Just... that I think I’m in love with a villain.” Why not be honest for once?

“That so?” The smile that pulls at the corners of his cracked lips for a moment is so genuine, your heart does a little trick in your chest. You nod, burying the side of your face against the sheets and peeking over at him. “Hm..”

“I don’t know how he feels though-“ you’re silenced by a chaste yet warm kiss on the lips, your eyes closing instinctively as you lean into it without hesitation. For a while you two just kiss, your hands coming up to hold his face as he manoeuvres his arms around you with care. When you do pull back pink and breathless you don’t go far, Shigaraki letting his forehead rest against your own gently.

“...I think- I think, he may love you too...” he replies, almost inaudibly but he may as well have yelled it with how close you both are. You feel your heart leap up into your throat, lips breaking into a grin despite your best effort to keep your face calm.

“You think so?” You whisper back and Shigaraki snickers, snickers, nodding and letting his nose bump against your own.

“I think so.”

[itsjusta]

1:44 am.

Heart so heavy now. Currently trying my best not to cry cos its kadlawon na!!! I was just looking at videos of other group’s podcast for sikopil and just browsing the members’ names and nag overthink na dayon ko sa tanan.

im so scared and anxious pag balik na face to face 😩 cos aish idk maybe people will away me i’m scared to be classmates with those who have potential to away me hahahahha i’m such an overthinker pero im really scared doe its making my heart sakit HHAHAHA :< and im also scared pag balik sa f2f ma resurface napd tong issue ughhhzzz muhilak guro ko HAHAHHA

i almost cried while praying doe i feel so anxious and scared now 😭 i just hope i have the strength to face everything soon. this feeling is different from all my maoy’s doe idk i really feel so scared :((( i’m really so scared doe kung unsa ako ma face puhon pag balik na klase idk if i’m ready pa to face reality gyd sainyoha busa scared kaayo ko UGHHHH mag transfer nalang guro kog skul :—-) to think pd sa tanan changes sa routine kay mahadlok gyd kaayo ko. karon gani nga naa rko sa balay pirme, daghan na kayo nag bag-o, unsa nalang kaha if mag school na gyd LOL hay nako wish lang gyd nako di mo magpakita sko atubangan palihog hahahah but i know lisod kayo na labaw na kay same mi ug course and u will always visit her pd hayst gelang

update: nag crying session naman nuon ko imbis mag sleep uy :—-( i feel sooo alone tonight doe i feel like it’s me against the world chour corny pero true 😩 i feel like i have people around me but there’s no one na always naa gyd for me idk i’m so weird this just makes me cry more i should not care about na i know man there’s people na naa for me gyd i shud not overthink its not good for my mental and emotional health :—-)

its morning na and i woke up with very puffy eyes and a heavy heart also 👁👄👁 cried again this morning aish its making my head labad lang

idk today i just want to restart everything im so tired doe i feel like im stuck in this phase i dont want na its so kapoy why is it so hard to just be happy doe

update again: i broke down today doe i just want to shut down and disappear

i hate days like these nga wala ko mabuhat kundi ihilak tanan ug antoson tanan sakit. hay why do i have to go through this for so long doe? i’m so, so tired na of crying i’m so tired na of having a heavy heart and i dont even know what to do because i’ve adjusted so much already. gibuhat na nako tanan para wala koy balita sa everything but even the most normal and small things kay maka pa trigger sa sakit :(( ambot oy kapoy wa man koy choice kundi antoson ni tanan

update again: its 2 pm and kanina i cried for like an hour doe and i slept at 12 tapos nakamata ko kay kay yawa ke akong damgo :—-( idk nag uban ta ato tas timing nigawas imo stories sko ig and ako gi view tas imo ko gi pugngan but ako ghapon gi watch and it was a video doe ana ka paspas kaayo ang 2 months ba something like dat so bale monthsary ninyo and nag uyab na daw mo 2 weeks palang 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ and i asked u dat and u said yes tapos i watched the video u made it for her like a compilation of your vids and u were so sweet 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 and naghilaka ko sko damgo doe and pagkalast kay i asked you if gipa ila2 na ba nimo and you said oo, plano na nimo imo ila2 saimo fam nya 2 months pamo huh SANA OL DIDTO MURAG NIBUTO AKO HEART NAKAMATA SAD KO NGA NAG BUTO2 AKO HEART!!! I THINK THIS DAY IS TORTURING ME :——)

MURA KOG WALA SA REALITY TODAY LUTAW KAYO KO NAG HILAKA UG KATULOGA RKO SO FAR HMP LABAD PA GYD KAYO AKO HEAD UGH

11/27/20

[human-knife-block]

noncon: this is just classic guro, yknow ? can't go wrong with tragic loss of control. it's the most obvious way to do it, and it works.

dubcon: "are you sure it's ok for us to do this ?" god ugh yes. the uncertainty, the thoughts of "maybe i'm just dreaming". perhaps the sub doesn't realize what's being done to them yet, but they will, and it will be too late.

enthusiastic consent: the juxtaposition of absolute unambiguous pleasure with stuff that, yknow, you typically wouldn't want to happen. blood, guts, and moaning. a clear view of the consequences without wavering: what's here, now, between us is what matters.

the thing about guro is that noncon guro, dubcon guro, and enthusiastic consent guro all have their little quirks that make them uniquely hot

[oddball-in-the-scarf]

Some self harm ‘cute guro’ appeared on my dash and uh...

I’m uncomfortable of the implications...

[buppypaws]

tantrum post :)))))))))))))))))

i’m so fucking mad right now. i hate everything. like i’m obviously being so disgustingly over dramatic rn but i literally do not care, i wish i was a pit bull so i could use my entire bite force on somebody. my shitty fucking 1300 dollar computer has a worse sound card than my iphone. like- the whole thing with soap and jayd is actually super understandable and if i was reasonable, i’d be like “oh ok! it’s okay that you wanna make time for your other friends” but no i’m actually so mad and upset and petty rn, like i don’t wanna talk to ANYONE for the rest of the night. like damn haha my two favorite people have other people in their life haha that’s so crazyyyyy 🥴. i wonder if i’m gonna start my p*riod soon and that’s why i’m being so fucking Crazy Girlfriend rn. literally what the fuck is wrong with me???? i hate myself so god damn much. like- don’t get me wrong. i’m cool. i’m the sexiest person i know. but the way my brain works is so fucking disgusting. like, how the fuck am i having the thought “haha maybe i’ll just go on tinder and find someone new to obsess over, that’ll show them” like haha wow rus, you’re so mature. why the fuck i wanna go on tinder so bad again?? like, what the fuck is so wrong with me that i need to constantly check my dating pool and make sure i’m talking to someone that’s Perfect for me, when, really, that’s probably not gonna happen, and i actually have a really nice romantic relationship with someone i genuinely like a lot and marks off a lot of check marks of my Dating Requirements,,, BUT ITS NOT ALL OF THEM SO OFC I GOTTA FREAK OUT AND BE LIKE :))))))))) i wanna guro the fuck out of myself. this is so pathetic. my entire behavior is so immature and actually just fucking stupid. and now i’m just gonna ignore them for the rest of the night. i wanna kick my monitor in. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IM ACTUALLY REALLY FUCKING MAD ABOUT??? LITERALLY ALL DAY ON TWITTER ALL IVE SEEN IS POLICE AND BRAIN ROT BLUE LIFERS SAY AND DO LIKE ACTUALLY ABHORRENT SHIT??? LIKE WOW I LOVE SEEING VIOLENCE AGAINST POC AND LGBT PEOPLE HAHA HOW DID YOU KNOW TWITTER :)))) like i saw a video of some guy saying kill all trans people like no offense but i’m actually so mad that i never see any of these people get what they deserve. like it would bring me nothing but joy to see those people get bloody, violent justice. like it makes me so genuinely upset. it also makes my activism fucked up and clouded bc at this point i think i hate my opposition more than i wanna get help for my community. which is fucked up!!!! can you blame me though? like how can i nOT be mad? ugh. i hate this. i wanna kill myself. like not actually bc i have intense fomo and i don’t hate myself that much, but like holy shit, the stimulation of feeling pain sounds so good rn. not like c*tting pain either bc sharp is BAD ouch, but like if someone wanted to punch me in the face?? that’d be fine. huff.

[shintorikhazumi]

A Warm Diana Chapter Two: Check the Temperature

A Warm Diana Chapter Two: Check the Temperature

(A/N: Diana and Akko try to figure out where they stand in a relationship…. Or what kind of relationship guro… And I had always wished to see Akko with hair down.. then the Diana arc with Akko in a dress happened… and her hair! My wish came true… for a couple seconds at least. Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi)

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Call it brainwashing, but Akko could figure out no other method on how to deal with all her disappointment building these past few days.

She told herself that it was not in a particular Heiress’ best interest to steer clear of her every time they walked the same hallway, she just remembered something and had to go run to retrieve it.

Diana didn’t keep their gazes every time their eyes would meet because she needed to blink away the dust that had settled on her lash suddenly. (For more than fifty times this past week.)

Even the lessening, nearly non-existent tutor sessions, or tip-off talks they had every once-in-a-blue-moon, Akko chalked it all up to just having a larger, more important workload to finish.

Akko tried to convince herself that Diana was just embarrassed about what had happened. It wasn’t as if she was trying to avoid Akko, she was probably incredibly busy, just as she always was. Yes, that was it, exactly it.

-Or at least that was what the brunette told herself.

After their little incident on the beach, followed by their dual colds subsequently, Akko had been hoping that that would have given them the push they needed to get even closer.

She guessed she was wrong.

Diana had avoided her even more after that; talking to her even less, and even refusing to look her in the eye- and this was during class and duties now! They were assigned together for one assignment, and Diana almost did everything herself, if only for the sake of not having to spend time with the girl.

It frustrated her. Irritated her. But most of all, she merely wanted to cry.

In a mere blink of an eye, her whole world plunged into one state-

Cold.

She simply couldn’t comprehend why things had suddenly become like this. Why was Diana suddenly pulling so far away?

Had she done something that warranted dislike? Maybe she had, since she always did. Had she said something horrible to Diana? Again? She couldn’t possibly count on her hands the times she had spoken ill of/to the other girl. Why did she do it? She never knew.

And in all her frustrated glory, she did a silent scream, roughing up her hair as she scratched wildly, thinking fruitlessly.

Now, on a Friday, alone in the library, only the two of them, though tables apart, with rows of shelves adding to their separation, Akko wracked her brain for a way, any way to approach her target who was silently reading an advanced magic book, lips tipped the slightest bit up.

“Ugh… and she looks so beautiful in that lighting.” Akko admired from the distance as the late afternoon glow penetrated through the windows of the old building, idle sounds of chatter from passing students retiring for the day going past her head. She gazed in awe for a few moments more, before frowning as she remembered why she was even in the same space as the blonde prodigy. “What the hell did I do this time, I wonder?”

This question was brought on by the wisdom from past experience. For some reason, or other, Kagari Atsuko always found herself smack dab in the middle of trouble, it being caused by herself, more often than not. And of course, more often than not, she’d never realize this until it was pointed out to her, usually, the job being reserved for Sucy, using it as an opportunity to make fun of her.

And of course, it usually ended in some scolding or disappointment on the part of all teachers, Ursula included, and of course, Diana.

“Hmm… How does one even begin to approach the Great Diana Cavendish?” She rubbed her chin thoughtfully, truly pondering on all her plans on how to make up (Why would she even need to do such?) with the heiress.

As if some genius idea had wormed its way into the deep crevices of her mind, she felt a spur of determination to carry out such thoughts. Standing up, she prepared herself to face the blonde beauty-

… Only to be stopped by a rather rude grab to the shoulder.

“My, my, my… If it isn’t Akko.”

Without the aid of ice magic, the brunette had found herself frozen by the words of the adver- her acquaintances… She hoped.

“Hannah, Barbara. Wh-what’s up?” Akko quivered.

She thought things were, if not good, at the very least on ceasefire between them. The girls may have hated her, but she certainly did not return the sentiment. Sure, she didn’t like them, but she wouldn’t go so far as to say she utterly despised the resident bullies.

“What’s up, yourself? What’s with the sneaky act?” The brunette of the duo leered closely at the poor soul, blameless- as of the moment, and without any bad intentions other than possibly disturbing Diana with her own feelings.

Feelings? What feelings?

“N-nothing, just… looking at some books…” The girl replied, refusing to meet the duo’s gaze.

“From around a corner?” Barbara asked her, skeptical. “If I didn’t know better, you were actually looking at something else.” She scoffed, trying to retrace the troublemaker’s line of sight. “Something… Someone like… Oh look! It’s Diana… Diana?!”

She gave Akko a look the girl couldn’t read.

“You were watching Diana?”

The two remaining members of the blue team shared a look.

They had noticed something… strange brewing between the two students, the top and honestly, rock-bottom pupils, though the latter had been showing some promising signs of improvement. And after the whole ‘Bringing Diana back’ incident, they didn’t think as lowly as they did of Akko. In fact, in their books, they were treating her a bit more nicely, save for the habit of sharp comments.

Yeah… they were working on that, hence the way they had started this whole interaction.

“N-no! Well, Yes… Maybe?” The girl scratched her cheek, still avoiding eye-contact. “Is that a bad thing?” Her voice had this edge of… anxiousness? A search for approval?

“Well, if you consider the law, it’s basically stalking, right?” Barbara commented innocently, unknowingly.

It was unintentional, but it certainly shot down Akko’s hopes. Now she probably felt wretched to some degree, the statement really hitting some nerve.

The one who said such words probably realized, apologizing.

“It’s bad if you think it is.” Hannah spoke, thoughtfully, at least trying to help the dejected witch in front of her in some way. “I mean, if you’re watching her with bad intentions, then of course. It’s horrible.” She was a bit wary, hinting some warnings at the brunette who raised her hands in defense, showing she had gotten them. “Otherwise, If it’s something like admiring-“

Atsuko blushed at the term, but dare not deny it.

“-It’s fine.” Hannah smiled. Akko did too, before it was wiped off her face by the next statement. “I mean, a lot of students do it too. Diana is pretty popular. She’s smart and really beautiful.”

And maybe Akko felt that little green monster possess her, if only for a second.

Thoughts of other students looking at Diana that way, or even simply thinking thoughts of her that way, never failed to make the girl’s brows furrow deeply enough for a valley to form between her eyes.

An expression which did not go by unnoticed by the blue pair’s keen eyes; It was a look they were getting quite familiar with as it was beginning to become a bit too common, after all, it was Diana, herself who wore the face more oft than not these days.

It didn’t help either, that the reason behind the said expression was the girl who wore the same one for the exact same reasons.

The exact same reasons? What reason would it be then?

“Akko…” Her fellow brunette murmured. “Could it be…?” Their gazes met, one filled with nerves, the other inquisitiveness.

“C-could it be… what?”

“You failed a test again so you’re wondering why Diana hasn’t tutored you and need it right now, but have too much pride to bother her!” The girl pointed, though both knew that the statement was just an excuse as neither wanted to actually acknowledge the fearsome thought that had crossed their minds.

“…”

“Yeah! Yeah, that’s absolutely, probably, it!” Akko sighed in relief. “That’s right. I just really need help and was beginning to wonder why we haven’t had those lately. Nothing more. It’s not as if I want to just spend time, or waste it for that matter with things like walks in the courtyard or talks by the stairs.” The owner of the shiny rod told herself, just as always. “Learning! That’s it, learning.”

“But then, don’t you have Professor Ursula for that?”

Again, Barbara with her innocently crushing comments.

Even Hannah gave her a shocked look that simply read ‘TACT’.

“Wh-what?” She asked. “Did I say something wrong?”

Hannah could only shake her head at her friend’s brutal honesty. “No, nothing.”

“Th-that’s right! I do!” Akko now stood straighter, wanting to escape this situation now more than ever. “So… I’ll just go… and y’know, head on over?” She pointed out the door. “To Ursula I mean! Not over to Diana’s table or anything!” She said, scurrying off, throwing out a hasty ‘see you later’ to the perplexed duo.

“Doubt Diana would mind, though.” Hannah sighed, arms crossed, catching the aforementioned blonde throwing a glance Akko’s way as she ran off.

Her teammates watched her sigh, seemingly with regret, and could only shake their heads.

Even if those two had somewhat mutual feelings, if they couldn’t even discern what those emotions were, no step forward would be made in whatever relationship they wanted from the other, be it friendship or… more.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Diana sighed, closing her book after about an hour more of reading complicated spells that she’d gone over more times than she had fingers. It was probably around dinner time, but a meal was the last thing on her mind as of the moment.

She’d never admit it to anyone, but she had been conscious of Kagari Atsuko’s presence right from the very start of her ‘viewing session’ and quite appreciated the undivided attention she was getting, save for the negative feelings that showed on her open-book of a face.

Maybe it was wrong to avoid Akko and delve deep into duties to allow anything but the other girl to dominate the run of her thoughts. It wasn’t as if she wanted to do such, but her mentality, moreso her heart might give out for reasons she could not even begin to put a finger on.

She could not think straight as of late, no matter how much she wished to. Her mind would run straight back to the girl who was such a dork, who’d get hurt, but get back up. Who was not all that knowledgeable in the ways of witches, but was well-versed in things fantasy and magical in the normal human’s eyes.

There was no focus for Diana, and the sad puppy looks, and longing gazes sent her way the whole week through certainly did not help her in this situation.

In fact, she wasn’t really concentrated on her book earlier, as she found herself more than ready to protect Akko if anything went amiss the moment her best friends appeared. She was glad nothing bad went between them. It looked like casual chatter from what she could observe.

Only when Akko ran out did her curiosity skyrocket, but she had to abstain from giving Akko any form of attention or concern till she sorted out her… feelings, thoughts rather.

The blonde coughed into her fist, trying to regain her composure, which did nothing to cool down the red in her porcelain cheeks.

“Diana? Are you alright?”

The girl looked up, half expecting to see her teammates and tell them they need not worry, only that those words died in her throat seeing as they weren’t her teammates, but her teammates. Kagari Atsuko’s.

“Umm… Diana?”

“What did you do Lotte? Maybe you summoned her spirit out of her body? That would be really interesting though.”

“Sucy!” Lotte berated as the poison-maker shrugged, uninterested.

“I’m sorry for her. She’s just really… playful.” She threw a glare at the almost laughing Sucy, who immediately quieted down.

“No… No. It’s no problem.” Diana replied, shaking her head to clear out her thoughts rather than show what her words meant.

“I sure hope it’s not.”

“SUCY!” The girl cried. “But really, are you okay Diana?” She returned to her concerned state from earlier.

“Huh? Why would I not be?” She was confused at the unneeded worry.

“You look a little red in the face, also you were coughing just now, weren’t you?” Lotte reached out to put a hand on the top student’s forehead to check her temperature. “Did it go down? But anyway, you should rest Diana.”

“Yes, yes of course. Thank you, Miss Yanson.” She turned on her heel to proceed to her room.

“No need to thank me.” The girl said, and that statement just seemed to tickle Diana’s brain. As if it reminded her of another person. One who would have the same reaction. “Akko would have done it too if she saw you like that.”

Ah. And there it was. Oh how their thoughts coincided.

“More like she’d freak out and worry too much. It’s Diana after all.” Sucy’s snickers were drowned out by the raging thumps of Diana’s heart.

“What do you mean…” However, the Cavendish abruptly dismissed such questions, as she still wanted to express her gratitude, just as how she was raised. “Regardless, I am most grateful, Miss Yanson, Miss Manbavaran.” She tipped her head down a bit. “Have a good night.”

“It’s Lotte… And Sucy.”

Again, stopped in her tracks, Diana faced them, nodding.

“Of course. Good night, Lotte, Sucy.”

“Good night, Diana.”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

“Diana…”

“Akko…”

Just what is this feeling…

 ~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

She woke up in the warmth of her sheets, all wrapped up to the neck, albeit still in most of her uniform.

Diana assumed she must have gone straight to her room and lay down, falling asleep, the ones behind how she was tucked in were of course, her roommates. ‘Assumed’ because her thoughts were far too occupied by someone else that she had most likely been operating on autopilot.

A low grumble, one usually not associated with Diana Cavendish, came from her stomach, now begging to have something in it, if only to fight the pangs of hunger as a result of skipping last night’s dinner after a busy day.

She was weighing her options, maybe go to the cafeteria and grab some breakfast, or stay here in her room and see if she had any form of food kept- most of those treats gifts from irrelevant admirers.

She decided a well-cooked and nutritionally balanced meal was far better in terms of health and usefulness with her duties, despite having none during the weekend. Wait- that’s right…

It was the weekend.

The Cafeteria would most likely be closed after seven-thirty. But that was fine, Diana usually got up early. It was only- eight… in the morning. The blonde rubbed the sleep from her eyes, wanting to take away the clouds that must have been deceiving her. There was no way that she of all people had slept in.

She noticed a piece of paper on her desk, conveniently placed beside her clock. She picked it up before slapping her forehead in exasperation.

‘Dear Diana,

              Although it surprises us greatly, I guess even you would be tired, sleeping so late, thinking. We hope you don’t mind us tucking you in. You kept muttering “It’s cold”, for some reason so we presumed…’

“It’s alright, thank you.” Diana spoke to the letter, a small smile resting on her lips.

‘Anyway, we expected you to get up late, so we just wanted to leave you a note so that you wouldn’t worry about our whereabouts.

Barbara needs to buy a few materials for class, a few meaning a lot-‘

The witch couldn’t help but giggle.

‘and I volunteered to help carry them.’

Diana noticed a change in the handwriting, quickly understanding that Barbara had taken hold of the pen.

‘Hannah just wants to buy more ingredients to cook with. She's secretly had Akko teach her, can you believe that?’

This paragraph of the note obviously caught the genius off guard. Not because Hannah was going to be cooking, but because the person she was cooking with was most unexpected

‘Anyway, that’s all from us. Take care for the day, Diana. We left you a few sandwiches and an apple on our table. It probably won’t be enough, so make sure to go out for a proper meal afterwards, kay?’

‘Your best friends, Hannah and Barbara.’

Diana folded the paper, pocketing it with a sigh. She valued their friendship and certainly appreciated how they looked out for her, even though she would brush them off at times. She really was thankful for friends like them.

Rounding her bookshelf that set apart her part of the room from theirs, the blonde instantly spotted her food and decided to have it after a morning shower to at least feel fresher than she did at the moment.

Even if she was a model student, Diana had her own share of clothes, apart from her school-designated robes and party dresses.

She donned a light blue button up shirt, with long sleeves, folded to three-fourths, light brown cropped pants, and her favorite leather brown shoes, pulling her bangs up and out of her face, held by pins.

She then went to grab a medium-sized leather shoulder bag, packing along with her a hair tie to later pull back her hair, a jacket if she felt cold, and what she would consider her breakfast, courtesy of Hannah and Barbara, along with a water bottle.

She promptly took a packet of biscuits from some secret stash of gifts and snacked on them on her way out of the room towards the faculty office to ask permission to go out.

With the ‘Okay’ she got from the headmistress, she, instead of riding her larger broom, used the smaller ones that came with her wand as she would not be travelling for quite long through the leylines. Just enough of a distance to get to a particular spot she favored before changing her mode of transportation.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

“Thank you for your patronage.” The man bowed handing over the reins to a pristine, well-groomed white horse. The welsh pony nuzzled his blonde rider, the girl responding by stroking his neck.  “Here’s the usual one you ride. He’s been excited to see you again.”

“Thank you, Schneider.” Diana smiled to the man, who only waved a hand in dismissal.

“It’s no trouble at all. You are one of our regulars and have helped us out so much, Miss Cavendish. If anything, we should be thanking you.” He continued. “So many customers have been coming around ever since rumor spread of a beautiful young lady on a white horse. It was quite the sight, some said. Hahaha… Why not become our poster girl, Diana?” The man jested.

The horse-lover felt a light warmth dust her cheeks, as she couldn’t meet her old friend’s gaze.

“Please don’t joke about such things.” She murmured. “You know I very much cannot stand such public exposure. And this is my form of peace and quiet, my getaway.” She looked at her gloved hands, then to the stallion beside her.

“I know, of course.” The man gave her his gentlest smile, before patting her on the head a bit. “Enjoy.”

“I will!” She said as she mounted her steed. “I’ll be back with him by sunset.”

“Take all the time you need. Oh!” Diana turned to face him. “Be careful.”

The girl was happy, for everything, the usual gentle reminder, she took to heart each time she rode.

“Especially this time.” He told her seriously, and she wondered for a brief moment why. “There are some pretty wild riders out there. And I can’t believe that Kid would choose a pretty wild horse to boot.”

“What do you mean, Schneider?” Diana felt her blood boil a bit at such reckless riders. Who knew, they could not only hurt another rider, but the horses as well. Maybe if she met them along the way, she’d give them a big talking to.

“Some girl just came over her, just as we opened, which is pretty damn early since you know we open just a little after six.” Diana nodded, prompting the man to go on with his story. “She just said she wanted an escape and took the wild one, Jessica out for a spin. That young Jessie might toss her off, I warned, but she said she believed that this horse was for her.”

The man lifted his hat, running a hand through his graying hair. Diana’s mind jumped into thought. Why was she so concerned about such strangers?

“I’ll admit, they make quite the fine pair. That little Takhi and that girl look the part of partners. They suit one another, all wild and passionate looking.” He placed his hands in his pockets. “It’s been so long since Jessica allowed anyone on her back, yet this girl rode her with ease. Unbelievable, right?”

Diana nodded.

“Well, take care, little miss. See you later.” He went to attend to other matters in his business.

“Wait! Schneider, if I may…where were they headed?”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

“Yes! Nature! Wind! Tree shade! Fruit Juice! Ham sandwiches! AAANNNNNDDDD… UMEBOSHI! My beloved pickled plums!” A certain brunette screamed out to no one in particular, enjoying her alone time, Saturday morning.

Maybe it was the lakefront view, hidden by all the trees, but surrounded by an array of beautiful sweet-smelling wildflowers, but Akko felt happy. A lot happier than she had been this whole week.

The sky was a beautiful shade of blue, not clear, but the clouds and the gentle touch of the breeze made it feel refreshingly cool in this fair weather.

After reveling in the absolute beauty of nature, the brunette deemed it worthy to take her much needed breather, not only physically but for her mind especially.

“Hey, there girl.” She greeted her partner for the day. “Thanks for being my company.” She held out her hand, the horse nuzzling against it. “You were such a tomboy to all those other guys, ey? That mister told me.” She sighed, encircling her arms around the mare, hugging it. “Yet you’re so gentle with me. Guess we empathize pretty well.”

She laughed as the horse neighed, happy vibes all round them.

“That’s right… like some special spell connection… Soul RESONANCE!” Akko held her hand out, as if throwing a beam in the direction of her new friend. “Wow… that was so lame.” She snickered mirthlessly at herself with a blush spreading across her cheeks, falling on her back under the shade of the tree.

She had a blanket in the pack she had brought with her, some food as well, but now she just didn’t feel like moving a whole lot.

The tranquility of the area was beckoning her so temptingly, she consented to being lulled to sleep by the song of the forest.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

If someone were to claim that they had the best dream ever, Akko would no doubt beg to differ. There was none that could top hers, and this was not an opinion. To her, it was an unbiased fact.

Imagine yourself in a clear field on a fair day, lying on the grass softer than comforters, and surrounded by flowers with scents fresher and more natural than any air freshener. Peacefully, in a state of bliss, having just eaten, and played to her heart’s content and now simply resting. Resting.

The best part of this paradise was that the breeze was not the only one caressing her face and going through her strands of hair. Nature’s tune was not the only one playing, soothing her senses in a comforting tickle in her ears.

Ah, the bliss of the companionship of another person. The feel of their soft skin against yours. The way your eyes met as loving smiles rested on both your faces. Simply the way they held your hand and were just… there. For you.

Their warmth.

Her warmth.

Dia-

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

“Woah!” Akko woke up with a start. Her heart was thumping wildly. Her whole face, all the way to the tips of her ears and down her neck burned an unbearable heat. The wind did nothing to cool down the fire within her as she remembered the vividness, the too realistic feel of everything, the gazes, the touches, the smiles…

The warmth.

“And I thought I swore not to think about her.” Akko shielded her eyes from the afternoon sun that had now seemed to pass from the peak of the morning sky. Possibly the time would be around two in the afternoon. “Why are you doing this to me… Diana.”

“Well, I apologize for it if this is the reason behind your… less eccentric behavior.”

Akko literally jumped at the voice. So high, only now noticing that she had a blanket draped over her shoulders and that her hair was now in a braid instead of its free state she had left it in earlier. She had not even bothered to wear her little ponytail, and now it was in a neat loose braid, pulled to the side.

“Please do not overreact. It’s almost as if you did not expect my presence.” Diana took a sip from a familiar thermos cap, this time filled with tea.

“I didn’t. Not. At. All!” Akko did her best to stress the phrase, trying to get her point across. “Who would?!”

“Is really all that unexpected?”

“YES!” Akko felt at her wits end. How could the girl look so calm?!

Unbeknownst to her, Diana’s countenance was all but a façade to hide her well-jumbled mess of an inside labeled as “feelings”.

She had an inkling of a feeling that is was, indeed, Akko who took the wild horse for a ride, but having those ideas confirmed, and finding the girl in an… endearing way, in such a beautiful setting, no painting Diana had seen could compare.

The way she softly breathed, not snoring at all, her hair pooling around her head, light striking her at the most perfect angle, making her seem as if she were glowing, everything was just so breathtaking.

Especially her hair.

Yes, the hair.

Diana had always hoped to see Akko the way she was in the mansion, all her hair down, gently flowing along the contour of her back.

Yet, she also could not keep her hands to herself for long, as she had draped her own blanket, packed in a saddle bag, over Akko, now carefully brushing the hair from her eyes, hands going down her face gently as to not rouse her.

And it ended in a braid somewhat.

She had enough shame to dismiss thoughts of things such as lap pillows, at least.

“Diana? Hey!” Akko waved a hand in front of her face, trying to snap her out of her stupor. The girl worried as she no longer responded in their conversation a while ago, and just found her in a daze. “You okay?”

“Eh? Ah… mm.”

“Really?” Akko eyed her suspiciously.

“Yes, Akko. I’m alright.”

“Ok, but if you start feeling bad, tell me, okay? Okay? Don’t make me worry.” She whispered the last part to herself, Diana’s ears barely catching it. “Anyway, I was asking if you had eaten or anything?”

At the question, the blonde heiress’ stomach growled, and the answer was made clear.

“Geez, care for yourself a bit more, please?” Akko crossed her arms, picking Diana’s blanket from the ground, and leading her back to her spot under the tree, (She had somehow managed to roll away a few meters-then again, Akko was always an... "active" sleeper) laying her picnic blanket out, a Tupperware with salad, and some ham and egg sandwiches displayed.

Diana stared at Akko’s outstretched hand that wanted to pull her up when she realized the girl had yet to move after her.

“Come on.” She rolled her eyes, tugging the girl lightly, and with a surprising amount of strength that she stumbled forward, being caught in a pseudo embrace. “M-my bad.” The brunette immediately quickly released her companion and went to sit in the spot.

“Okay.” Diana replied, delayed, as she realized she hadn’t really packed a lunch. Now she just felt ashamed. She wanted to tell Akko, but maybe the girl was a mind reader.

“I’m betting you were so busy, you didn’t have time to pack any lunch, right? It’s not much, but… care to join me?” The Cavendish girl could not say no. “If I knew you’d hang out with me like this, I would’ve whipped up something a bit more… to your taste?”

She knew she could cook, but her modest lunch didn’t quite look right, sitting next to such a prestigious lady. It made her a little insecure, and Diana did not want to see her that way.

“It’s more than enough for me.” She smiled at the girl with all the reassurance she could muster, sitting- not across from her, but right next to her, almost at the proximity they shared on a night they could not forget. “And a little birdy flew by today to tell me a secret, that one Miss Kagari was quite the cook.” And maybe she threw in some confidence-boosters, if only to enjoy the blush she elicited from her… friend.

“Wh-who told you something like that? Ugh… now I’m set up for a disaster of a disappointment.” She covered her face. “Not only in magic, but cooking too?!”

Diana looked at her perplexed. Where was her usual unabashed pride? Or was that all a front to cover these… weaknesses she now showcased to the prodigy.

“You are the farthest thing from a failure.” Diana spoke seriously, with conviction, voice not wavering as she grabbed Akko’s hand with one of hers, and reached out to take a sandwich. “And I’ll show you!”

Biting the sandwich, her eyes nearly rolled to the back as she couldn’t help a satisfied moan from slipping out. Yes, it was her intention to assure the girl, and if Hannah herself, said that the girl could cook, then no doubt it was the truth.

She had prepared her taste buds for the best, and the worst, but this… it certainly defied her expectations.

If the sandwich Hannah had prepared for her was pleasing, this was heavenly!

“Is it really that good?” Akko asked, uncertain after receiving no comment.

“Yessssss… It’s wonderful.” Diana hummed in approval, taking another bite, hand going to her cheek as she closed her eyes in pure bliss.

“Thank goodness.”

“You were that concerned?” Diana quirked a brow, as the other had taken her own share of food. “I mean, you should have more confidence in something that tastes this divine!”

“Thanks… I’m no good at food magic, or I guess magic in general, but… I’m confident in the cooking my mom loves so much.”

And the blonde couldn’t help but stare at that faraway look in her counterpart’s eyes, as she only held the bread in hand, quiet.

“Do you… perhaps… miss your mother?” The melancholy wafting off Akko made her heart twinge, she could feel the longing, as she missed her own mother as well, though she could not see her as Akko could.

“Yeah… I’ve missed her for five years now.”

Or maybe they were alike in that respect.

“I guess that was what made my heart hurt so much when I found out about your family.” Akko gave her a sorrowful smile.

“We’re just two kids who need the warmth of their moms, huh?” She contemplated, but shook her head, biting into the sandwich. “Ooh.. this is good. I’m proud of myself Hahaha.”

Diana knew she was trying to change the subject.

“The food is nice, so let’s… forget about the sad stuff.” Akko said quietly for the last time. “Now, let’s enjoy! It’s such a waste with this amazing place that is perfect for private enjoyment. How bout we play in the water a bit after lunch? Oh but we can feed the horses too, I brought some treats they’d like. Right girl?” Akko winked at her horse that whinnied, as it nudged Diana’s stallion that also responded.

“Hahaha… They get along so well.” Diana giggled, enjoying the ambiance.

“Like us?”

The comment certainly caught her off guard. She now was caught in a staring contest with the brunette mischief-maker, gaze intense, hiding those bits of anxiousness again. Diana took her hand again, now ready to put that smile back on her face.

“Yes, like us.”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

The two frolicked the rest of their afternoon away, splashing around, running even more, playing with their animal pals, and just enjoying the other’s company.

Burnt out, and the sun sinking low, they packed up and decided to go home.

Diana now donned the jacket she had brought along, the evening temperature lowering. Akko just kept her blanket on, draped around her smaller frame as she hummed a tune.

Diana savored the music, appreciating each note- Akko’s voice was well-developed and strong.

It stopped.

“Akko?” She was worried, and confused now.

“Hey Diana?” The strong voice was no more, it was now nearly a whisper.

“Yes?” She replied as kindly as she could.

“When we get back… will you… avoid me again?”

Her heart clenched. The young Cavendish wanted to now spew a thousand apologies and more for what she was doing, but… she knew what giving Akko attention meant. Her focus would be done for.

But still…

“I will not.”

“Then why?” Akko asked, the horses now stopping side by side. “Why did you start?” It was so weak, so sad, and hurt. So cold, contrasting the intensity of her burning gaze.

Diana had only one answer, well a question rather. The only response crossing her mind.

“I need to know… what are we?”

Akko felt her breath stop, heart in her throat.

“I have these… thoughts and… feelings, so I can’t concentrate any more. What is this Akko? What have we been doing lately? Why do I want to spend my time with you?” Diana breathed out, meeting, confronting her thoughts.

“I don’t know.” Diana’s heart sunk. She didn’t know what answer she was expecting, but immediately realized this wasn’t it. “I don’t know but… what I do know is that I feel the same way.”

And as it sunk, it jumped so high, running faster than they ever could with their legs. “Y-you do?”

“Yeah.” Akko scratched her cheek, embarrassed as their rides began to move slowly again.

“Akko?”

“Hm?”

“What should we name this warmth?”

Now that was quite the unusual question. But Akko already knew her answer.

“How ‘bout we start it off with… friends?”

Diana sighed a bit, but then smiled. It was the best conclusion, and rushing into whatever this was recklessly would do neither of them any good.

“That would be acceptable.”

They shook on it, but afterwards, refusing to let go as they rode home that way, hand in hand.

And again, on a night so cold, all they could feel was…

Warmth.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

“I’ll tell you time, and time again.

From the moment we start ‘til the end,

On any night,

with such marvelously gleaming light,

I’ll keep you as you keep me far from harm,

In arms so warm.”

“You will forever be my ‘Warm Diana’”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

OMAKE:

“By the way, Diana. Tell Hannah to use this recipe for those treats she wanted to try. And that we can meet next Wednesday.” Akko smiled, handing over a piece of paper, she dug from her pocket on their way home.

They rented a broom at a shop since Akko had ridden with Lotte out, but had not thought of how to get back to the academy.

Now she was stuck behind Diana again, going through the magical terminal.

“I’m surprised you had something in common. Do you often spend time together?”

“Kind of? Hopefully we can also be friends!” She commented, a bit happier.

Her skin tingled as her hand was suddenly taken. On this small space of a broom.

“Please do become friends… “ Diana told her, but her voice squeaked a bit, “just… not closer than we are?” Akko could have squealed on the spot at the sheer adorableness in that look.

“Are you perhaps, jealous?” She grinned, needing to know the answer.

“N-no! How preposterous!”

“You are, aren’t you?”

“I most certainly am not!”

“Ehhhh??? Then I guess I will spend more time with Ha-“

“I’ll drop you!”

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

A/N: Quick! Tell me what you think or I’ll die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for reading! I do hope you enjoyed.

~Shintori Khazumi

[taxidermal-tatters-blog]

Shameless Kink Meme

I stole this from InkBunny.

♥ General  ♥ Biting? Yes. Dirty talk? Yes. Femboys? Iffy. Frotting? Yes. Handjobs/finger jobs? Good yes. Ice? I could try it. Kissing? Forever yes. Leather? In moderation, sure. Licking? Obviously yes. Scratching? Only if it leaves marks. Spanking? As above. Uniforms? For the most part, yes. Unintelligent partners? Depends. Voyeurism? Sure. Feet? ... Armpits? No preference, never tried it. Pregnancy? YEP. Male pregnancy? Uh no. Omegaverse? I would consider it. ♥  Anal  ♥ Anal sex? Yep. Gaping? Yep. Pegging? Yep. Rimming? Fuck yes. ♥  Species  ♥ Human? Yes. Furries? Yes. Scalies? Fave. Ferals? Yes. Divinities? I guess. Pokémon/Yokai/Digimon/etc? Yes. Elves? Yes. Dwarves? Yes. Monsters? YES. Vampires? Maybe. Probably not. Werewolves? YES. Aliens? Yes. ♥  Super Kinky  ♥ Worship? Eh... Breeding? YES. Crossdressing? ... consensual, sure. Double penetration? Why not more? Drugs? Depends. Alcohol? As above. Enemas? Hard no. Hair pulling? Just don’t pull it out. Asphyxiation? Safe, yes. Gun play? Nah. Knife play? Nope. Blood play? Nada. Immobilization? I could do it. Multiple partners? Sexually, yes. Romantically, no. Dubcon? God yes. Shaving? No. Choking? Yes yes yes. Age play? Yisss. Incest? Fave to the max. Macro/micro? Seperately, yes, within bounds. Abuse? Eh. Bukkake? Depends on if I’m giving or receiving. Squirting? ... eh. Could live without. Vaginal sex? Yes. Virginity? Sure? Fisting? YES Cream pie? YESSSSS Snowballing? The gift that keeps on giving. (Yes) Scat/water sports? No/only in certain circumstances. Inflation? Only with certain things. Shrinking? On it’s own, pass. As a set-up, sure. Vore? Sure. Guro? Maybe. Emeto? Ugh, no. Face fucking? Yep. Begging? ... maybe. Master/slave? Again, maybe. BDSM? Top level kink. Diapers? No. Necro? Mmmmm depends. Mutilation? Pass. Cannibalism? As a kink? Not even once. 

[thiskhertilove]

at 8:30pm while he was cooking fried fish we bought along the road, i told him to buy coke at the store downstairs.

he went and got back saying the store is already closed.

after maybe 15 minutes i looked for him.

his housemate answered “ninaog to. naa guro paliton. ana pa gani sya kinsa daw naay papalit.”

ugh this khert. he didn’t have to :(

next store after ours downstairs is down this hill along the toad :((