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atveren · 3 years ago

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The Monstadt and Liyue boys: You are the victim of a killing game+you as the blackened

Diluc, Venti, Albedo, Chongyun, Kazuha, Childe, Aether, Xiao, Xingqiu, Zhongli, Scaramouche

Warnings: Blood, Death, Self-Hate, Self-Blaming, Depression Mentions, Swearing, Injury Detail, Execution Detail, All detail described is vivid, but original, slight mentions of suicidal intentions. Be warned, this fic is not for the faint of heart. I’m on mobile, so please scroll past if any of this triggers you.

Based off of Danganronpa, but not many spoilers for the games.

Gender Neutral (You/Yours, They/Them)

Ultimates will be put next to the GI characters names, and yours will be ‘(Ultimate Talent)’.

They still possess their visions

This may interfere with canon, but this is an AU so that doesn’t matter. Also it breaks some rules of Danganronpa, and again this a fanfiction so take that as you will.

The executions will be on a seperate line, if you’d prefer to skip the detail.

Requests are open! For Genshin Impact only at the moment.

Diluc, The Ultimate Winery Owner

Your body is found

Diluc had remained level headed throughout this ordeal, especially since you were there. He believed he had to protect you, and would do anything for you to both escape. It was just another day, during free time when the body announcement played. He sighed, knowing how upset you’d be, you were usually one of the unlucky few that ran into the body first. Unlike usual, you hadn’t ran off to find him. “Maybe they haven’t found it yet..” He muttered, his mind not dare travelling to the darkest assumption. As he walked, he became more concerned. Hopefully, you were just asleep in your dorm and had missed the announcement. As Diluc approached the area, he noticed the guilty glances of others. He was confused, and upon entering the room, he froze. He didn’t want to believe it. There you were, chest slashed open. It was a gruesome sight, he felt sick. He rushed to your side, not wanting to believe this was real. But when he grabbed your arm, and it was cold. He blamed himself, he was meant to protect you. He didn’t want to lose you too. But he did, and he snapped. Nobody saw him until the trial. And when your killer was found out? Well, he almost killed them himself. It wouldn’t be surprising if he turned into a blackened.

You are the Blackened.

“And that would make the killer, (Full Name).” One of the others had announced. Your boyfriend stared at you, in denial. You let out a laugh. “Oh, well done. You got it right.” You seemed nonchalant about it, and shrugged. The voting was quickly dealt, despite Diluc’s protests. When Monokuma announced that yes, it was you, Diluc still couldn’t believe it. He walked over to you. “Why?” He questioned, but his voice was breaking. “Well, I wasn’t planning on getting caught. I wanted us out of here, no matter the cost.” You said with a sigh. You seemed frustrated your plan hadn’t gone through. He stared at you, with shock. He didn’t believe it, he never would. But he knew what came next, you’d both seen it before. He didn’t give the others a chance to get near you, and embraced you. You gave smiled one final time at the Ultimate Winery Owner, before the chain locked around your neck, ripping you out his arms.

Your Execution.

Everyone was silent, as it started, but Diluc stared blankly, and if it wasn’t clear, he was in silent tears. He didn’t want to watch this, but it was like he was in a trance. You were tied down to a chair, something that looked like it was from an older time. There were mumbles about how this would go, most of the survivors being confused. That was until wine bottles were smashed against the ground near you, and he knew what was coming next. He wanted to rush in, and try stopping it, but it was like you could sense his thoughts, and practically froze him with a glare. The next part, broke the man, fully. A match was thrown into the spilled alcohol, and it engulfed the area in flames. Your screams and pleas destroyed whatever happiness he had left. And when the execution was over, he made a mental promise to be joining you soon.

Venti, The Ultimate Bard

Your body is found

The bard was always desperate for his freedom to be back, but he wouldn’t kill, no. Especially not if there was a chance you could be hurt. He’d developed an attachment to you throughout this, and you’d spend many nights in one another’s dorms. You’d listen as he strums his Lyre, one of the few things keeping you both sane through this hellhole. That all came crumbling down, as he was the first to find your body, and screamed. Others rushed in, and Venti was hyperventilating. He wouldn’t believe this, he couldn’t. He refused to leave your body’s side. As much as the way you were murdered made him disgusted to see, he just wanted his moments to say goodbye. “I’m so sorry, (Name)...I failed to protect someone again.” He sobbed out once the others had left to search for clues elsewhere. When the killer was announced, Venti sure did have a few choice words with them. He was screaming, and wouldn’t calm down. His composure was lost, and he wasn’t the same after losing you too.

You’re the blackened.

Venti couldn’t believe his eyes as your name was voted by everyone. And when it was comfirmed? The bard ran to you and clung to your body. He begged you for an answer, and when you said it was for his freedom? He sobbed. He said things he didn’t mean, and you knew he didn’t, not taking them to heart. His gaze was hidden from the monochrome bear, and you nodded at it. Signalling the end of your time. You knew there was no where to run, and you feared that the male you’d loved would be hurt if you made a break for it. You kissed Venti on the forehead, muttering your gentle apology and that you loved him. He mumbled an ‘I love you too’ and you knew he forgave you. But just as the words had left his mouth, you were ripped from him, now facing your death.

Your Execution.

Venti couldn’t watch, he knew you didn’t want him to. “I’m so sorry, (Name)..” He said under his breath, while crying. You couldn’t guess what would come next, when an instrument was shoved in your hands. If you messed up a note, the asphyxiation from the chain would only be slowed, not stopped. You just wanted this over with, and played to the best of your abilites. Venti covered his ears, he couldn’t listen or watch. When it was over, he dropped to his knees still sobbing, and it took one of the others dragging him to get him to move. He was rarely seen again, unless needed. There never was a spark in his eye, like before. Any melody the others heard when passing by was dark, it made them sad just hearing it.

Albedo, The Ultimate Alchemist

Your body is found

The two of you had developed a relationship, both having being considered ‘outcasts’ from the others. He would teach you of alchemy, and you would teach him (ultimate talent). You shared a gentle bond, even if at times it didn’t seem like you were all that close around the others, both minding your own business. It was a late night and you were in his ultimate lab, he calmly asked you to try this one thing he’d been working on, and you agreed, knowing he would never hurt you on purpose. You took the glass from him, and drank it. You soon felt your eyes grow heavy, and it was as if your pulse was slowing. Albedo gently called your name, concern written in his eyes. You couldn’t reply, seconds later, limply dropping against him. He felt panic rise, checking for any sign of life, and didn’t find it. In the trial, he was mostly silent. And upon his guilty judge? He accepted it, he was furious at himself, the one person that trusted him, died by his hands? Who wouldn’t that anger?

You are the blackened.

You laughed as your name was announced and Albedo stared. He didn’t want to believe it, but he did accept it. There was nothing he could change, nor do about this. He wished you’d just spoken to him, and told him to do it. He would have, especially since you did it so he would be free from all this. Your boyfriend approached you, and hugged you. The others muttered things of ‘Well that wasn’t a surprise’ and the like. You gave him a soft kiss, before accepting your fate. “Now! We’ve got a special punishment for (Full Name) The (Ultimate Talent)!” With that, you were chained and tied to a pole. “This is an especially special punishment, made by one your own!” The monochrome bear called out. There were confused yells, people panicking at one another. Who would it be?

Your Execution.

The lights flickered off, then on again. But it was a spotlight. The light fell on Albedo. “What..?” He questioned, staring at the others. Just as his question fell from his lips, an agonizing scream could be heard on your end. Chemicals upon chemicals were being launched at you. The others yelled at him, wondering how he could do something like this to somebody he’d called a lover. Albedo didn’t know, and called out again. “But..I never wanted this?! Especially not for them..” He recieved a laugh in return. “Now now, dear alchemist. If you hadn’t prepared all of these, your supposed sweetheart would’ve just had a quick little death! This is all *your* fault~” Monokuma said with a sing-song tone. He was lying, this would’ve had the same outcome no matter what Albedo did. But, the alchemist believed him. And cried. It was silent, and he didn’t realise it, but he was crying.He fully blamed himself, there was after all no evidence otherwise. It didn’t take long before he was considered dangerous, and avoided

Chongyun, The Ultimate Exorcist

Your body is found

An argument had been a bit too heated for him, and his condition acted up. You’d went with him, to the small area of his lab that was colder than the rest. He would normally come with you there, to calm down. Usually, you were dressed more appropriately for the temperature. You didn’t worry this time, more concerned over your boyfriend. You stayed cuddled close to him, but the temperature soon became too much. You didn’t want to upset him further, and stayed silent. He didn’t notice. You slowly felt your eyes shut, and rested more against him. He felt the weight, and went to tap your hand to let you know that he was fine now. But then he felt the skin that was far too cold. He screamed, and others rushed in. He didn’t forgive himself. He should have known, noticed, anything...Many nights were spent crying himself to sleep.

You’re the blackened

Disbelief, and thats all. He didn’t forgive you, but he did at the same time. He hated and loved you. It hurt, badly. And upon hearing your reasoning? He became more conflicted. He was lucky he brought popsicles, because otherwise it wouldn’t be good for him. He saw your stressed expression and sighed, before walking over and hugging you. You would be dead soon, anyway. This is the least he could do. The moment came all too fast, and then you were gone.

Your Execution

You had to try fending off spirits, but they weren’t real. You grew tired, fast as they weren’t normal opponents, plus the cold chill wasn’t anything better. Chongyun realised far too late he wasn’t mad, and he still loved you fully. He almost called it out to you, but you slipped up and were killed. It was bloody, and he felt sick. He hated this feeling. He just wanted you back, and in his arms. At the very least, you were out of this game, and resting somewhere. Maybe...maybe he would join you early. This was caused by him, after all.

Kazuha, The Ultimate Poet

Your Body is Found

You and the poet were close from the beginning. It hadn’t been long for a relationship to bloom from that. He would also tell you stories of his time at sea, while you both stayed together in the late evenings. You had said to him you just wanted to go grab a book, and he believed you’d be fine. That proved to be a fatal mistake, as when you entered the library, you were killed by a set trap. Kazuha waited, for an hour, before growing worried and rushing to your last known location. Being the library. He saw your body, and the panic rised. He quickly got everybody together, and was one of the main people during the investigation. At the trial, he was the first suspect, being the last person to be seen with you, and for not showing much emotion, but with his evidence, he was proven guilt free and the killer was found. They certainly didn’t expect the insults that flew from his mouth. He was anything but calm now. He’d lost two people by not being there in time, of course he was pissed off.

You are the blackened

Silence. That’s all you were met with. You couldn’t blame him, and you didn’t want to guilt him so you made an excuse as to why you killed. You had done it so the two of you could be free and sail off. You claimed it was because you were bored, and wanted something interesting to happen. He didn’t approach you. He just stared. It was disheartening. He still loved you, he just...he needed time. Time neither of you had. Not when you yelled out an apology as you were dragged to your final moments and any chance he had to let you know he forgives you, was gone.

Your Execution

You were sat in a chair, a book was slammed in front of you. Metallic hands wrapped around your neck and you guess what to do. Maybe...maybe you could survive this? You read, slowly, the poetry in hand. It was a painstaking process, but when you got to the end of the book, and lowered it, you thought it was over. Maybe this was a lucky chance? That was until you were finally choked fully. Kazuha knew he had time to yell it, that he did forgive you. But that was all gone now. You’d never know that he did love you still, despite everything. He’d lost two people close to him, and was now shut down. And tired.

Tartaglia, The Ultimate Freestyle Martial Artist

Your Body Is Found

You’d both taken a habit of approaching one another with an invitation to spar. It had started with him doing it solely to train you to defend yourself, but then it became a game to the both of you. Childe had decided today he would find you, as you’d snuck up often on him. He entered your dorm, calling out your name. What he didn’t expect was it to be a mess, and have things broken. “(Name)? Are you here? Is this a prank....?” He had asked, while walking around, looking for you, but he never expected the site of your cold, dead body under a table. He approached, almost laughing. “Come on now, (Name), this isn’t funny.” He reached his hand out, to grab your own, but being met with the cold feeling, he jumped back. He stared, and stared. He was in denial. He wouldn’t believe it. He didn’t. Not even at the trial. Not afterwards, not even at his own death, did he ever believe you were dead. He knew it was stupid, but somewhere inside he believed that this was some cruel joke, and you would both return home at some point.

You are the blackened

In case you had any doubt, Childe forgave you instantly as the news was announced. You thanked him, and he held you. He wasn’t upset or mad at you in the slightest. However, he was furious at Monokuma, knowing your execution would happen in mere moments. He held you, not wanting to let you go, ever. Tartaglia kissed your forehead, and muttered an ‘I love you.’ You smiled at him, before being dragged away.

Your Execution

A pole was thrown in your arms as these things started to attack, you tried defending yourself, but it was hard. You thought you’d have a way out, but the stage you were on became slippery and wet, and you struggled. Childe felt a fury burn inside bright than before, and ran to your aid, disarming one of the things and using that to defend you and himself. It seemed to be going well, but they were coming faster than either of you could handle. Tartaglia swore he would get you out of there, but that all fell down as you missed a hit and were killed with one blow. Everyone thought it was over, but they kept attacking, eventually overpowering him too. At the very least, you were able to die together.

Aether, The Ultimate Traveller

Your body was found

Aether didn’t believe his eyes, not when he saw the person he promised to be with forever, dead, stabbed so many times and blood marking most of your skin. It was horrifying, some of it wasn’t even a knife, it looked like an axe or something. At the trial, he snapped. He’d already been seperated from his sister, and now this? You were the one person he told everything to. And now you were dead? Aether was beyond pissed. He normally was sweet and pretty chill, but that was gone. All the frustration he had, was taken out on the killer. If it wasn’t for the fact he knew you’d be upset wherever you were, Aether probably would’ve killed them. He also had to find Lumine, and couldn’t do that while dead.

You are the blackened

He had one question. “Why?” He wasn’t mad, or upset, he just wanted to know. And when you quietly confessed it was so he could see his sister again? He cried. He held you close. He didn’t let you go. Not as the votes were cast, not as it was confirmed you were the blackened. He couldn’t be mad at you, after you’d given up your life so he could leave you guilt free? Maybe..there was a way he could save you. He didn’t have time to debate, as you were ripped straight from him. He made a promise if he could, he would try to save you.

Your Execution.

A fight. That was what you had to. Survive the swarms and swarms of enemies. Aether rushed in quickly, not giving anybody time to protest. You both fought, back to back. But it grew tiring, very tiring. Eventually, you were stabbed, and it pierced deep. You dropped down, sobbing out for him, and he froze up. This caused him to be also hit down. The blade was ripped from your back, and he reached his hand out, just to comfort you. He knew this was it, your and his death would be for nothing. Just as he was about to grab your hand, one of the bots stepped on it, shattering the bone. At the same time he grasped his own hand, you were brutally stabbed multiple times in front of him. He sobbed, before being killed off with blunt force to the head. He knew Lumine wouldn’t find out. They’d been seperated again, and she was in another world entirely.

Xiao, The Ultimate Adeptus

Your body is found

You and him weren’t close, per se. But still found comfort in the other’s presence. You and him had this sort of thing where you would watch out for each other. He, however, kept more of a constant gaze on you. Xiao never took his duty to protect you lightly. He slipped up once. You called his name just a second too late. He found the killer fast, luckily. They were luckily he didn’t kill them right there. He was...angry. At himself. Not at you. He made the mistake, he wasn’t watching you.

You’re the blackened.

Forgiven. Immediately. You apologised and all he did was...hold you? He apologised in return, and confessed the feelings harbouring in his heart. You blinked at him, shocked. But you reciprocated the feelings, and told him so. He felt regret he hadn’t said it sooner. Maybe then...but he didn’t have to reconsider his foolish decision as you were dragged down the hall.

Your Execution..?

Run. Thats all you could do. You ran and ran while the monokuma bots chased you. It also felt like you were running out of air. You wanted to survive...and knew what you had to. You called out Xiao’s name, just soft enough. And he had to. He appeared by you and fought to your defence. The two of you ran, and ran more. Amd fought too. It seemed like the exit was in sight. And it was, but it was closing fast and..only one of you would make it. Xiao knew what he had to do, and sped up, shoving you through the exit...and he followed. You were...free. It was surprising and you gasped for oxygen, clinging to him. It surprised both of you, neither of you thinking you’d make it.

Zhongli, The Ultimate Storyteller

Your body is found

Close. You were close from the day you came here. Many nights were spent in each other’s arms, him telling tales upon tales. You’d listen with interest. But that’s the fond memories he looked back upon. Now, he was alone. Without your constant questions, and curiosity. Without your hopeful reminder that you’ll both make it out. All that was left was this trial room, and your to be found killer.

You’re the blackened

Forgiveness, again. He pulled you into the safety of his arms as your confession to the others spilled out. You admitted it was selfish, and you just wanted him and yourself to be free. They weren’t happy, but understood. That’s all most of them wanted, anyway. Zhongli could feel your pulse begin to race, and slowly whispered one of your favourite stories. It calmed you slowly, and you were ready to accept what faced you.

Your Execution

The drag and then being locked to a pole? Painful, much? He wanted to avert his gaze. But you would expirience that, and it would be just rude of him to ignore you. He felt sick watching the Execution happen. Books flew at you from angles and at rapid paces. You sobbed out for help, but nobody could do anything. It was a cruel reality, but...maybe there was a chance? He thought, as your battered body dropped down from the pole...and you moved. It sounded like...like warmth. Safety...You heard him call for you...You tried moving to the sound, and just as you felt you could reach it, your skull was bashed in the final time. He only stared. He was...he couldn’t take it. The pain was overwhelming..He wished he could just take you into his arms and say everything is fine but...it wasn’t. And it never will be.

Xingqiu, The Ultimate Writer

Your body is found

A prank. That’s all it was meant to be, just a harmless little joke. Nothing to hurt you, let alone kill you. Just a simple water bucket prank. But he had no idea you already were heavily injured. And just as he noticed, it was too late. He dealt the blow. He was the blackened. He killed the love of his life, the one person who consistently tolerated his pranks and teases. Xingqiu accepted his fate, with no struggle.

You are the blackened

Denial. Another one in denial. He considered this just like one his books he read lately. You would tell him that everything was a prank, you weren’t the killer. But when everyone called the vote, and it was confirmed. He yelled at you. He was upset, at...everyone, himself included. Everyone..except you. He wanted to tell you, that he was sorry. That he did forgive you. But he couldn’t, as the chain locked around your neck.

Your Execution

Chained down to a chair, and a paper was slammed down in front of you, with a pen. You were confused, but got the hint. You wrote and wrote, which had you distracted from the area slowly flooding. You slowly started to suffocate in the water, but it didn’t bother you. You felt like it wasn’t even happening. Xingqiu started yelling, begging you to try and survive. You couldn’t hear him, only the sound of your own thoughts. And eventually, your body gave out.

Scaramouche, The Ultimate Debater

Your body is found

From the beginning, you had made an agreement. You would watch out for each other in trials, backing the other up, always an alibi. You considered him a friend, and told him so. You did consider him more, but kept that under wraps. But he never reciprocated..at least you thought he didn’t. Scaramouche did feel the same, but thought he’d have time to tell you. He believed you would be there the next day, the day he would tell you. Tomorrow. He didn’t want there to be a chance you didn’t feel the same, but had considered it, because it would be better than you never knowing. He knocked on your dorm, expecting you to answer at the call of your name, but you didn’t...And he grew annoyed, assuming you were sleeping in. He sighed under his breath, before opening the door, and being met with the sight he never wanted to see. Your bloodied body, clutching a letter to your bleeding chest. You were long gone. He swiftly walked over, trying to ignore the tears rising to his eyes and grabbed the letter, hoping to find some clue as to who your killer was. But as he read through it, his eyes widened. It was a confession. To him. In your writing, that he completely recognised. And he felt regret. He hadn’t even told you that he cared about you. As far as you were aware, you were just a toy to him. Maybe at first, yes, but not as of late. During the trial, he was anything but calm, snapping if anybody dared to speak ill of you. When the blackened was found, they were screamed and swore at. Insults hurled second by second. They likely were terrified of him. And when they were executed, he laughed. If it was possible, people feared him more. And tried to avoid him at all possible costs.

You’re the blackened

Keeps defending you, even when it was a lie. When the votes were cast, and you were still found out, he started yelling. For a moment, others assumed he was an accomplice, but you and Monokuma denied that fact. He was still in denial, hardly able to accept the fate that was in front of his eyes. He asks you why? Why couldn’t you just tell him to do it? It’s rare to see him on the verge of tears, but his pride is in shambles. You gave a laugh, with a sorry before fate dragged you to your doom.

Your Execution

It was some kind of...trap. You were just stuck there. The contraption slowly brought you to your doom, or what you assumed to be. With some careful consideration, you managed to slip from it, avoiding the fate planned. Nobody knew this, and assumed you died when it was stopped. Scaramouche was not the one to find you, it was somebody else. They quickly brought you to him, and he hugged you, tightly. He was shaking, and yelling at the same time. He was just glad you were alive, that’s all that mattered to him. You both managed to escale from there, possibly with others.

Well, hope that wasn’t too OOC. Sorry for the gruesome imagines <3 Another angst fic is coming soon! Prepare :)

#genshin impact x reader #danganronpa #DR #Aether #Albedo #Chongyun #Diluc #scaramouche x reader #Xingqiu #zhongli #murder #blood #gore #TW #Trigger Warning #TW: Suicidal Mentions

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bloodied-teardrops · 4 years ago

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@softyswork This has just been sitting in my notes for a while, so I hope your anons enjoy? It’s not sugar baby MC rejecting the first years tho

Accidental Sugar Daddy Divus and Sugar Baby MC.

Not particularly yandere, but warning for drugging/aphrodisiacs.

---

The thing is... Divus didn't approach you with any intention beyond picking up the slack after his employer's less-than-stellar display. You were making due with what little that clown had given you. And he gave you far too little to actually take care of yourself with.

A worn and over-sized school uniform that you tried your best to wear properly, but it lacked the newness of the other students' but the care was there. And you only had a few other uniforms in similar states to wear.

He noticed your hair got oily rather quickly despite your attempts to make it look hair sprayed and being in the Ramshackle Dorm, that building wasn't well maintained. It wouldn't surprise him at all if you tried to avoid showering in cold water. Not to mention, it's not like you needed hair products when you had more urgent needs to address.

And the food... you poor thing. There's not much you could buy with what little you had left from paying your so called friends to catch Grim and paying for Grim's demands. But even then, you tried to go for healthy choices.

It’s one part pity and several parts outrage that made the alchemy teacher pull you into Sam's shop to buy you everything you might possibly need for a few weeks as well as thoroughly threatening that the mangy cat about causing you more trouble.

New sets of clothes, plenty of self care goods, and a lot of fresh, healthy foods for you. Not to mention a little space heater in case you got cold at night.

He hasn't seen your dorm, but he already has a sinking feeling in his stomach about it. With no magic or money to spare on supplies... he spends a good portion of the evening throwing magic at everything to make the place livable. And Crowley just left you here?

Well, it's not like he was using the money for anything in particular. There's more than enough for him to provide for you. Just help him out with preparing potions ingredients and running errands around the school.

It should have stopped there. That's exactly where he intended to have things stop.

Except... Headmaster Crowley keeps failing you. He's heard nothing about the search to send you home nor about what will happen if he can't find a way.

You're so vulnerable without magic or papers.

So incredibly easy to... disappear.

---

Divus takes you home with him for winter break. The cat staying on campus with the task entrusted to him, leaving the two of you alone. He had framed it as letting you see the outside world. You've only been to the Coral Sea from what he's heard. Crowley hasn't shown you any progress and you both know that he's not researching a lead in the south.

I see him living in a more rural area. Plenty for room for greenhouses growing his ingredients as well as giving any dogs he's taken in plenty of open space to run in. Granted, he hasn't since being a professor is a rather taxing job, but he does eventually plan to take in more dogs for the future.

For now, he wants to show you Twisted Wonderland's plants. And from there, he'll tell you about the area the plant is native to. Even introducing you to some of the more dangerous species he mentioned in class, but isn't allowed to use at Night Raven College for safety reasons.

That's how the first week goes, but eventually, Divus runs out of plants to talk to you about and finds himself at a loss. Typically, he spent his breaks preparing for future assignments, but seeing as he has a few years of material to reference, there isn't a need for that right now.

It's you who manages to fill up the rest of his break time when he jokingly responded that you could give him a kiss in exchange for everything he's done for you when asked. Well, judging by the look on your face, you're completely willing to do more which changes things.

There's so much to do with another person.

He does rather miss being in charge and you're such a cute puppy. Eager to please him and in need of some training to learn the best ways to.

It doesn't start out sexual.

Putting together your outfit, then doing your makeup in the mornings. If you manage to make it through the day with minimal smudging, he'll tell you what a good puppy you are and ask if you'd like to pick out a cute little trinket for your room (when did it become yours?). If you failed, get ready for a few spanks. No where near enough to make it hard to sit, but enough to sting and remind you of the consequences.

But every few days, he expects you to do it on your own. Do well and he'll praise you. Do poorly and it looks like it's time to spend most of the day teaching you.

He's terribly into teaching you. Or maybe training is the more appropriate term? Regardless, he probably shouldn't be enjoying this little routine the way he is.

There are so many useful potions to make you dependent on him. Love potions are fairly easy to find if one knew how to look. But he finds them rather distasteful. Why force you to love him when he can cultivate your love for him?

First, by showing just how reliable he is. Divus slips increasingly larger doses of aphrodisiacs into your food, slowly driving you up the wall with your need with no way of relieving yourself without alerting him. The heat just keeps building until you finally break. Pressing close to him in a definitely not appropriate manner as you confess and plea for some help addressing the ache between your legs. Completely unaware of the grin on his face as you avoid looking him in the eye.

Of course he'll help you, just tell him what he needs to do.

As much as he would like to show you his collection, it's best to start small for you and your body to adjust to his demanding desires. Just his cock for now.

He'll continue to give you aphrodisiacs for a few days before stopping. You're relieved that your strange neediness has stopped, but you feel empty after so many days of being fucked. Not to mention, the way Divus would take care of you afterwards... That's exactly what he's betting on to make you come to him after showing you what you could have with him. No need to hold back since the two of you aren't teacher and student right now.

Are you lonely in bed? Come curl up with him then. Do you still want more? He's happy to grant more if you're a good girl for him.

He could continue to give you potions to make reliant on him for help, but he prefers to take a more natural route. Slow and steady can be just as enjoyable. Divus can't give you potions for the rest of your life without you potentially growing a tolerance to them or him missing a dose and he’d hate to lose your trust in him.

It’s much more rewarding to have you slowly give in over time.

---

You return from the break with a bright red collar around your neck and a fur coat matching his own. Though not nearly as big as his. The only more obvious way to show his ownership of you is to scream it on a broom. Another change is that you've moved into his personal quarters on campus instead of back to Ramshackle. That is solely Grim's haunt now, serving occasionally as a study space. Why would you go back to it when his quarters are much better?

Not only is it in wonderful condition, you get to wake up with his kisses, in his warm bed without having to worry about irrelevant things like how you'll get breakfast or how you're going to get ready and look well, he'll take care of all of that for you.

Hair styled, clothes fitted and ironed, and makeup done to match his. It's so obvious that you're his now.

If Crowley tries to kick up a fuss, well, Divus has cleaned up plenty of incidents for him in the past. Surely, the oh so kind headmaster can reward him with you, right?

#Wifey ♡#♡ Writing ♡#Lemon Time ○#Twisted ◇ Wonderland #Divus ♡ Crewel #♡ drugging #♡ teacher-student #♡ dub-con

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fenristheorem · 4 years ago

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Hi! can i ask you lance with a very motherly s/o? thank you

You're my first ask! Thank you so much @marytheredqueen!

I was originally planning on posting headcanons in a few days regarding Lance and how growing up as an orphan effected him and his relationships in the long-term, so I'll add in headcanons about how growing up without his mother specifically effected him as well 😊

~Headcanons under the cut because these are long as always~

Growing up without a mother:

Oh boy

This is major ouch factor

Almost too much to explain

I said ‘almost’, not ‘it is’

And bear with me, really, because this is SO LONG

Lance and Valkyon were born in a volcano; hatched from dragon eggs and then lived in a nearby village until the time they decided to leave (based on what Lance said in Origins episode 26). There’s very little detail about the specific events, but it’s known that Lance was able to charm a lot of people at a very young age with his strength and self-confidence. It’s also known that he learned about and practiced his dragon powers beginning at a very young age while Valk never participated. It’s unknown if they told the villagers where they were from, how they were found and if they could even talk when they were taken in, but it seems that the villagers never knew about their heritage

Lance was raised by this village, everyone took part in teaching and caring for him and his brother. They knew everyone, played with all the kids, learned lessons from everyone. It was well known that they were orphans, but nobody thought ‘well, they’re not my kids so I won’t worry about them’. Lance and Valk literally had a village to raise them. They learned a lot of general things because of this, from people working all different types of jobs, so therefore Lance is well-versed (roughly because it’s a distant memory, but it’s still there) in a lot of general aspects of life. He’s pretty self-sufficient.

However, he had a village to raise him, and while everyone took care of him, nobody was his mother figure.

At first Lance wasn’t entirely sure why other kids had a mother and why he didn’t. Were him and his brother abandoned? He found it very endearing, but overall strange, that one specific male and female took care of certain kids when the whole village could raise them all together, like with him and his brother. Over time, he learned social constructs better and began to understand more that his case was a special one.

Lance realized then that he and his brother could have had the same things the other kids had. He could have had an actual home instead of floating between houses, he could have had an actual adult to cook meals for him each night, who would learn his specific tastes over time and treat him as a major priority. He began to learn that he could have had a mature figure to rely on when he felt sad, scared, overwhelmed or lost. Everything that he was providing for Valk, he could have had as well, with someone who had more knowledge about life and their heritage. In a way, Lance felt a bit lost. He had to think of everything when he was growing up, because while he did have the villagers to teach him lots of basics, he never had one specific adult that he could really connect to and ask all his really important questions to.

Lance began to realize what he’d been missing. He watched the interactions between child and mother more, and saw how safe and happy the kids looked, and then realized that he would never feel the safe, warm embrace of a mother who would love him unconditionally and without question.

And then he realized that his relationship with the villagers, while nice, could never truly fulfill his biological need to have a mother

Suddenly he had a painful hole in his chest every day

But he kept moving on, because he had been fine so far without

He was sad and disappointed by the fact that he would never experience having a mother, but he realized that he at least had the villagers to give him the basic skills in life. It wasn’t the same, but it could have been worse.

So he grew more, watched out for Valk and worked hard for every scrap of reward he gained in life. He came from humble beginnings.

But one day he felt a bit different, and by the end of the week he realized he had specific abilities that none of the other villagers seemed to have.

He decided to practice with these abilities, learn how they work, as he must have gained them from his heritage and, therefore, they’re the only part of his parents that he’ll possibly ever know. He kept it a secret, realizing that his powers could be used in many ways, hoping to someday surprise the villagers and defend them in their darkest hours; to show them that something good became of him because they helped him.

And then he learned about what his heritage is

Talking to a village elder, he realized that his powers aligned perfectly with the legendary dragons, so he inquired about what happened to them. Realizing their noble downfall, he learned the first thing about his mother and his people that would stay with him forever. He now aspired to make them proud, even if they weren’t with him.

Lance took to harsh training after that. Staying up late into the night, practicing all that he’s learned about basic life skills, but also alchemy, spells, rituals, and his abilities. He never told anyone his heritage, and he urged Valk to keep it a secret, too; you never know what dangers could lurk around two young, inexperienced dragons if the world knew about their heritage. However, Lance still practiced heavily, and the first time he managed a successful transformation into his dragon form, while messy and very tiring, he felt as thought some part of him was right. He finally felt closer to his family. But the effects of not having a mother would always stick with him

Time passed. Lance and Valkyon found the Guard of El, and Lance found a very comfortable position as Chief of the Obsidian Guard. He was one of the leader’s right-hand-men, nearly indestructible, the greatest warrior in the guard and the protector of the good and innocent. He was proud of himself, Valk was proud for him, he had everything, could have any woman, everyone loved him. It was the village but better, because he could uphold and defend what his family, his people, his mother had sacrificed themselves for.

And then reality hit him hard

He discovered a horrible truth; him and his brother weren’t the last surviving dragons, and the guard was hunting them down

Now beemoov never specifies anything of how Lance found out, why there were surviving dragons when allegedly all of them sacrificed to create Eldarya, etc. but I have a headcanon of my own on how he found out (and frankly his whole past in general). It deviates a bit from canon but at least it’s a nearly full backstory (I’ll write about it if anyone requests it)

So when Lance found out this truth he never felt more grateful that he decided to keep his heritage a secret. And he pressed Valk to keep it a secret even more, in fear that his brother may not take him seriously.

This discovery turned Lance around. Suddenly he was feeling sick to his stomach. He felt blind. Were his people angry at him for defending the people who live within the realm they created? Possibly. After all, they all fought each other. He felt lonely again; and he didn’t have his mother to guide or hold him in this time of fear.

Lance began to realize that he was looking through rose colored glasses. He began to realize that few people acknowledged the dragons’ sacrifice anymore, and instead the point of the guard was to shove their nose in others’ problems, problems that hurt each other after the dragons sacrificed to keep them safe, and the guard seemed to use violence at times as a solution to these already-violent issues.

Ok, I’ve been deviating from the original idea of growing up without a mother, but I promise this is important.

Lance felt disrespected at this realization; for his people, for his parents. How dare they destroy each other when the dragons sacrificed themselves to avoid that?

How dare he help them in that by acting for the guard?

Suddenly his mother’s sacrifice seemed worthless

Suddenly he grew up without a mother for nothing

Suddenly he was no longer noble, like his people, because he was helping to hurt the people the dragons died for

His whole life - screwed up from the beginning and left lonely and scared with so much responsibility - was for absolutely nothing.

He couldn’t stay there anymore, and he couldn’t look at himself anymore

He faked his death, and decided that the crystal had to be dealt with, and so the long, lonely road driven by hurt, loneliness and a desire for revenge began, because certainly the fairies of Eldarya no longer deserved the precious gift of life from the dragons. They did nothing but hurt each other, so why did they deserve it now?

And he wasn’t afraid to die in this quest if it guaranteed his success, because after helping the fairies in their destruction, he didn’t deserve the gift of life from the dragons, his people, his mother, either.

And then it got worse

Instead of succeeding, he took away the last of his family that he had

Suddenly he realized how much the gift of life is worth

Suddenly the hole in his heart, opened first long ago when he realized he would never have a mother, re-opened from the ice that froze it over for his sake

He realizes now, that just because he felt he had a valid point, he ended up worse than the fairies of Eldarya. None of them killed their own family in their own ambitions, none of them sought to destroy Eldarya. They fought to protect their families and people, like him, but they didn’t kill their own family

He resigns, numb from shock that he could ever do such a thing on impulse, and allows himself to be taken prisoner

He asks only one thing - he wants to help bury his brother. Maybe it will provide closure and begin the path to some sort of change from what just happened

No? Well... it’s not like he deserves that honor anyways

The take-away from this whole spiel is that Lance grew up with a tragic past and it all snowballed into a lashing out of anger and disappointment upon realizing one fact, and this could have been very different if he had a mother. He would have had a closer relationship with others, he would have known how to nurture others better, how to possibly work through his emotions better rather than jumping into different situations immediately because he feels a certain way. He missed out on many vital life lessons that he should have learned, but didn’t. And while a village to take care of a child is nearly always beneficial, the child still needs it’s parents. A village is not a substitute for parents, it’s an extra teacher.

Due to this, Lance will always be different from others. He had to be self-sufficient, he had to take care of his brother, he had to be the rock, he had to be curious. It was the only way he could truly assure his and his brother’s survival, because they needed to be prepared in case the villagers decided to make them leave. Why? Who knows, but they didn’t have their parents, so clearly they could always lose everything they have, even when what they have is so little

Overall, I believe Lance is very smart, professional and strives to be better everyday, especially in A New Era, but he’ll never truly grasp the understanding of having close personal relationships. He can hang out with others, have a bit of a laugh, but he’ll never really rely on anyone, he’ll always have a back-up plan, a second way out. In a way, he’s always planning for the possibility that everything could fall apart and be taken from him, even things that he never knew he had or should have, so he’ll always be distanced from everyone. He can play the part of ‘perfect Chief of Obsidian and greatest warrior’, but he will always have a hard time understanding how to maintain a close relationship, because the only person he was ever actually close with was Valkyon, and he’s gone now

Perhaps if he had his mother as a guide, a teacher, a brick house in the storm of life, he would have perceived things differently and things never would have ended up like this

Lance with a very motherly partner:

i proMISE THIS WON’T BE AS LONG AS THE FIRST HEADCANON

Firstly I want to give a quick overview of what I perceive to be a ‘very motherly’ S/O - Being motherly suggests that someone acts upon maternal instincts, and maternal instincts differ from person to person. However, seeing as this ask requests a very motherly S/O, I’m taking a lot of the major aspects about maternal instincts, and what is typically seen in a mother and a motherly S/O, and writing them all within one person. So while there are many motherly partners and people, many of them are motherly in specific ways and are a bit less so in other ways, but again; very motherly S/O = putting as many major points as possible into one person. I originally wanted to write specific traits under their own bullets, but they just merge so much with each other to the point that it’s easier to just describe the general relationship. Hopefully readers who love Lance find a bit of themselves within some of the traits that I provide 😊

Lance didn’t originally intend to get this attached. He enjoyed her company, found it endearing that she worried about him despite his past actions, and found it even more endearing and amusing that she worried about him getting hurt on missions (you know, he’s known as the best warrior in the guard for a reason). However, something about how she treated him struck a chord in him. The villagers he grew up with were never this worried about him... they always just let him do his thing without much bothering. But her... she brought back to surface a deep chasm of mixed emotions that he thought he had forgotten. He realized in time that, while he likes when others depend on him and look up to him, it’s also quite nice for him to have a bit of a break. He begins to notice that he spends so much time trying to provide for others that he forgets to take care of himself sometimes. Suddenly it felt nice to have someone look out for him. He spent so long alone, without his brother and with no one to watch his back, that he realized having a close companion is something that he craves.

And this scares him

He’ll withdraw a bit, try to press the fact that she doesn’t need to worry about him. He’ll be fine, he’ll survive, he’s been through worse, but she won’t have any of it. He’s so used to allowing himself to live only the basics in life that when she begins to tug him into trying to enjoy and appreciate his life a bit more, it startles him a bit. How does he do that? Does he deserve it? He doesn’t really think he does, or can. So he gets a bit irritated every now and again, his personality bristles a bit as he tries to stress that she shouldn’t worry about him. He doesn’t mean to be prickly towards her, but it’s just so hard for him to accept that she wants to offer something the he lived just fine without.

He softens in time, begins to wonder why she wants to offer care to him. He comes to her one night and questions her; her motives, her thoughts, her feelings

She explains that it’s just who she is - she worries - about everyone. She’s a caretaker, she wants to help provide, to help heal, and he doesn’t do a very good job at hiding the fact that he’s in pain...

He softens upon realizing that she’s like this with everyone - it makes sense now - and is then disappointed at the fact that she treats him the same as she treats everyone

Just like the villagers...

It strikes a painful chord in him again, but he’s more comfortable at least understanding her reasoning now... but he notices subtle differences in time...

She seems to check in on him more-often than she does with the others. She tells him to be careful on missions and stresses that she doesn’t want him to get hurt. She worries about every little thing to the point where he needn't bother worrying because she has it covered. When he does get a small wound, or in the rare case he falls ill - but it’s not enough to send him to the Infirmary - she’ll move herself into his room to take care of him. She’ll try to be more included in his life and offer new subjects that she knows more on because she loves to teach him about things and she knows he’s genuinely interested in learning new things

Lance realizes that he truly enjoys all of this - yes even her endless worrying and rants about how she told him to be careful

And when she tries to scold him in a fit of anger because she doesn’t approve of something?

Fucking adorable

He begins to realize that she seems to spend more time with him than with others, seems to worry about him more than she does the others, cares about him more than she does the others

So he asks her another night why she’s so adamant on this - why she feels the need to press all of this onto him instead of giving it to someone who will - almost for sure - be more responsive to this. After all, Lance doesn’t know how to react to this; why does she insist on doing all of this for him when he’ll be fine anyways?

She admits that she enjoys his company, that providing moments of happiness during the day makes her happy as well, and that she admired his sturdiness in the whirlwind of life, but knows it can be tiring, and she enjoys being his safe place when he needs a break

“Well what if I don’t want to be fixed or protected or supported?”

“Then why do you keep letting me care for you like this?”

That stops him

And then he realized; he can find it irritating, annoying, and even overbearing at times, but he really enjoys having someone to care for him in a way that he should have had but never had

“I know you grew up without parents, and without someone to really take care of you, so I understand if my actions seem very strange to you, but this is what it’s like to have someone watch out for you. I worry because I care for you...”

But the look in her eyes, the way she speaks in a soft - affectionate - tone, and how she leans slightly towards him, almost looking ready to take a step towards him but hesitating, all tells him that while she may be a very motherly person, her feelings for him run deeper than just friendship.

‘I worry because I care for you...’ and the more she cares the more she worries

The instant this all dawns on him, he finds one of his hands tangled in her hair, the other wrapped tightly around her small waist to leave as little distance between them as possible, and his lips on hers in a harsh, desperate kiss that reflects all the things he wished he had but never could

Nobody ever offered to care for him like this, nobody ever opened their arms and gave him the opportunity to collapse into them in fatigue, so why should he push this away?

It’s then he realizes that he told himself to control his impulses better. Who’s to say she was alright with moving this quickly?

But she doesn’t push him away - she pulls him closer and lets him take her down onto the bed, and although she allows him to take the lead, they both know that he’s the one basking in her presence

He begins to soften more in time. He begins to realize that instead of being irritated, it’s better to listen to, accept, and diffuse her worries and concerns for him by reminding her that he’s incredibly capable of taking care of himself because he has the knowledge and experience to do so - he’ll do his best to come home safe. And when he’s hurt or ill, he lets her help ease his suffering. She’s forgiving with him, but still needs to scold him and rant every now and again because she needs him to know that she really cares for him. He lets her into his life more, finds places to take her that will spark new conversations and listens intently

And over time, he notices he begins to pick up a few things from her. He tells her to be careful, expresses his worries to her, panics a bit upon finding out she’s in the Infirmary and then steels himself to prepare for the worst as he heads there to do what he can for her (although, unlike her, he doesn’t come bolting through the Infirmary door like a wild Black Dog before asking so many questions that one would wonder if he’s interrogating her). And it comes to the point where one of the two doesn’t need to move into the other’s room for a few nights to care for them; they live together now.

He does this all because he knows better now that that’s what you do when you care for someone

However, as much as he’s gotten used to the fact that his S/O can act very motherly about him - and has come to appreciate that he has someone who cares for him that much - he still hurts occasionally at the fact that he never had a mother. He never had the first caretaker that he should have had

His partner recognizes this once in a while, when it seems like it’s really bothering him again

“Are you ok?” - silence - “You can talk to me, I’ll always be here to listen...” - silence - “You don’t need to talk to me now if you don’t want, I understand, just know that I’ll listen if you need to talk it out.”

His piercing blue gaze meets her kind eyes, a soft glint of a mournful smile on her face. She knows he has moments like these; where he thinks about everything he lost and everything he never had and needs to take a while to mourn it all again. But instead of looking away again, as he used to do...

“I wish I knew her... She seemed so taken by her emotions at times, like me, but somehow she still managed to make the right decisions through it all... I just wish I knew her, had her as a mother...”

Silence

“I know no one could ever take her place, or teach you the full extent of what she could have taught you, but she’s still your mother. She’ll love you no matter what, she’ll encourage you no matter what. She may not be able to tell you, you may not have been raised by your mother, but you’ll always be her son and she will always be your mother.”

She hugs him, offers to make him a cup of hot tea and cuddle on their shared bed, and he doesn’t resist. He misses his mother, wishes he could know what she could have taught him, but as he settles on the bed and watches as his partner shuffles around, he realizes that his S/O is right. He has a mother, who does care for him, who does forgive him (hopefully, he can’t be sure), he just can’t see or talk with her

His S/O returns to his side, hands him the cup and lays against him, her shoulder resting on the headboard behind him as she wraps her arms around him and settles her head at his shoulder. He relaxes against her as she strokes his back, and it occurs to him that while he didn’t know his mother, she must have acted similar to this - caring for him and loving him unconditionally

It occurs to him that his motherly S/O could ease the pain and grief that he carried with him from the beginning, and it’s her natural personality that does so

I don’t think that second headcanon was much shorter than the first one, but hey, this was written with Lance in mind and there’s not really a quick and easy way to explain Lance and his emotions lol.

Have a request? Ask them here!

But first, please read the rules list for asks!

#eldarya #Eldarya ANE #eldarya lance #Eldarya Lance ane #eldarya lance headcanons #fenristheorem writing #askfenris

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ashengro-tto · 4 years ago

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hello! hope it's okay to ask for more than one? otherwise you can answer the ones you'd prefer to! ♥️♠️🦑👑🐱

Hi! It is more than okay to ask for more than one hehe

[ the rest are under the cut ]

[ also I’m bad at summarizing my thoughts so if the jumps between points feel weird, that’s why ]

[ ALSO also I’m sorry this took so long to be finished (lol) ]

Marlowe & Ace ♥️

Best Friend / Headache #1

Their first meeting was not the best (yes, it’s the same as our canon first meeting with Ace)

Marlowe felt very offended that he would even think of saying stuff like that to their face. “Ignorant”? “Go back to kindergarten”? They don’t like being looked down on, especially when it comes to things like intellect

...Okay, maybe those insults were directed primarily at Grim, but Marlowe felt hurt too!

They’ve had to deal with a great number of terrible personalities in the past, and so, they were able to keep their cool. Grim, however...well, you know how it goes

After a while though, his asshole-ness simply turned into annoying-ness, and Marlowe was able to just brush it off as Typical Ace Behavior

When Ace isn’t being a dick, they get along great! Marlowe’s pretty playful, and a bit of a trickster as well, so the two like to play harmless pranks on the other first years from time to time

And by other first years I mean mostly Deuce. Marlowe apologizes afterwards. Ace does not

Ace likes to tease Marlowe about how badly they’re adjusting to NRC school life (and also their abysmal history and PE grades) but it’s okay because they tease him back about how they’re better at alchemy than him

Hanging out with a guy like Ace who just screams Typical Teenage Boy feels really refreshing to Marlowe

Ace asks a lot of questions, partially because he’s genuinely curious about where Marlowe’s from, but mostly because they told him not to and he knows it annoys them. Marlowe knows he’s doing it to be annoying, so it’s more bearable

Marlowe admires Ace’s bravery (though some might call it recklessness). It was during chapter one, when he stood up to Riddle, that they really felt that “oh, this guy is really cool” feeling. Ace’s willingness to stand up for what he believes in inspires Marlowe to do the same

Marlowe & Deuce ♠️

Best Friend / Headache #2

Their first meeting was also the same as the one in-game

After Deuce summoned the cauldron and dropped it on Ace’s head, Marlowe actually screamed “WHAT THE FUCK” out loud. They don’t swear often, which goes to show how shocked they were

They gave him a very stern lecture about how dangerous that was, how he could have shattered Ace’s skull, how other people could have been injured as well...Deuce felt like he was being scolded by his mother

Don’t even get them started on the heart attack they had when Deuce flung Ace onto the chandelier

After getting to know him a bit better, Marlowe starts liking him a lot more

They adore his decision to leave his delinquent past behind! Marlowe greatly values learning and education, so they’re willing to support him every step of the way

Study buddies!

Their study sessions often turn into tutoring sessions, though, with Marlowe having to explain the lesson to him, but they don’t mind. They’re very patient, and also good at simplifying terms without taking away from their meaning, so Deuce learns pretty quickly with them

They feel a small sense of pride whenever he comes to them showing off his test scores (still low, but certainly an improvement)

The headache part mostly comes from when his Bad Boy Mode activates

Marlowe doesn’t like violence. They recognize that progress isn’t linear, and of course Deuce is going to...go back to the way he was at times, but they urge him to keep his calm and remember that “violence is never the solution”

Ohh, Marlowe was so disappointed when they found out he, Ace, and Grim went to Azul in chapter three. They didn’t even need to scold the three of them, their eyes said it all

Deuce felt the guiltiest, since Marlowe was always the one telling him not to cut corners. He felt extra guilty knowing how much Marlowe hated Azul. They take so much time out of their schedule to help him study, and he goes and asks for help from the one they hate most...!

What Marlowe loves most about Deuce is his willingness to learn and change. He was able to realize that his past actions were hurting his mother, and grew as a person because of it. He’s still growing, and learning to be someone his mother can be proud of, which is something Marlowe greatly respects and admires

Marlowe & Azul 🦑

Answered here!

Marlowe & Vil 👑

They’re actually pretty close!

They’re in the same club, so they interact quite frequently

Vil originally wanted them to try acting in one of the films he was in the process of making. He handed them the script, gave them some props, and the cameras started rolling

Marlowe’s attempts at acting were not good. The delivery of the lines was stilted, their movements stiff. Multiple times they had accidentally dropped the props. They had no clue why they did so terribly, they’re usually good at this kind of stuff. Maybe it was because there were cameras on them?

Vil eventually moved them to the costume department, just so they could contribute even a little bit

Marlowe’s very interested in magical pharmaceuticals. They love learning about how magic intertwines with medicine, and Vil is more than happy to teach them

Vil often scolds Marlowe for not following the skincare routine he’s provided for them, but Marlowe’s not used to such fancy products and strict routines...they really can’t keep up, no matter how hard they try

There’s a lot he nags them for, actually. Their fashion sense (he’s the one who styled their uniform), their diet (it’s not their fault Crowley doesn’t give them enough money for good food), and their sleeping habits (they’re not used to sleeping early, or sleeping a lot) just to name a few

Marlowe likes a lot of things about Vil. He’s hardworking and confident, but most importantly, he helps the people around him

Vil pushes people to work hard so they can reach their full potential and go from a dirty potato to a shining red apple. He isn’t just concerned with his own self-improvement, but the growth and development of others as well. Even if others don’t put in the effort, he still keeps pushing because he never gives up

Marlowe originally thought he’d be a selfish, crab-mentality kind of person, so finding out that he actually wants to see others around him prosper was a surprise, but a welcomed one nonetheless

What they dislike is his method of doing so. Marlowe is very much a kind, gentle person who believes real change shouldn’t come from brute force. They always feel a little annoyed when he acts so harsh towards others

Marlowe & Grim 🐱

Best Friend / Headache SUPREME (yes, he surpasses numbers)

Marlowe called him a “disease-ridden raccoon” when they first saw him, which Grim did not take kindly to

Imagine the Prologue, but all the player choices have an “insult Grim” option

When they found out that they would have to be two halves of one student in order to attend NRC, Marlowe groaned internally. They did not like the little troublemaking furball one bit

All he did was bring misfortune! Their first NRC experience could have gone a lot smoother if he hadn’t caused so much trouble! Disturbing the entrance ceremony, burning an important statue, the chandelier fiasco...randomly waking up in a new world was stressful enough, all that just made things even worse

Honestly, their first few weeks together were terrible. It was all bickering, arguing, snide comments...the ghosts in Ramshackle seriously considered relocating

As time went on, however, the two slowly grew on each other

Marlowe is Grim’s henchman! They buy him food, help him study, and scratch that one part behind his ears to help him fall asleep (which he totally doesn’t like, absolutely not)

Grim is Marlowe’s familiar! He protects them from danger, helps clean around the dorm (if bribed with enough tuna), and looks so cute when he’s sprawled out snoring on the makeshift cat bed they made him

Eventually the arguments turned into playful banter. Marlowe would nag him for not doing his homework, Grim would complain about it, then Marlowe would nag him for complaining, so on so forth

What Marlowe appreciates most about Grim is...his company. He was the first one they met in this strange new world. They both have no place to call home, no family to call their own. All they have is each other, so Marlowe’s really thankful for his company, even if he can be a little annoying at times

Marlowe would never admit it, but they’ve grown so attached to the little monster. They can’t imagine life in Twisted Wonderland without him...but don’t tell him they think that! He’ll never shut up about it!

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #heartslabyul #ace trappola #twst ace #deuce spade #twst deuce #pomefiore #vil schoenheit #twst vil #twst grim #marlowe (twst)#twst oc #PLS DON’T DRAG ME FOR HOW OOC THIS IS (2)#i tried :’] and that’s what matters #did you notice the change in writing style halfway through. pls say no.#relationship ask game

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aobawilliams · 4 years ago

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First Line Tag Game!!

I was tagged by @idontonlytalkaboutdcmk

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

I’ll try to go from more recent to older (date of the creation of the doc will be written in MM/YYYY format), but this might not correspond to the time the sentence was actually written. (I might have missed some stuff but, oh well, whatever.)

1- (04/2021) Aizawa meets Izuku AU (MHA, OS in progress)

It was luck that brought Shouta here.

2- (03/2021) Vigilante Yagi AU (MHA, in-progress, either a long-fic or a serie of OS)

All Might has been a hero longer than he has ever been Yagi Toshinori.

3- (02/2021) Dad For All AU (MHA, various blurb on tumblr so far, most likely a longfic)

Izuku was trying really hard not to panic. One second he was fighting a villain with a still unknown quirk, the next he found himself __ years in the past, according to the news report currently going on TV.

4- (02/2021) Midoriya Inko’s Guide To Good Parenthood (MHA, in progress, probably a serie of OS?)

Midoriya Inko isn’t anything special. She's 30 going on 52, has a really bad case of anxiety, can and will cry for any reasons, and has gotten so many grey hair from her son's shenanigans its a wonder she still has green hair.

5- (12/2020) The Kids Will Be Alright (DCMK, spin-off of Sharpen Your Knives)

Ran was running. Fast, fast, faster, not fast enough. She put all her strength in her legs, went as fast as she could.

6- (11/2020) Before the coffee gets cold - The Sisters (DCMK, OS published on AO3)

It was probably foolish of her to come back to this place. But, on the off chance that the rumours were true, she wanted to give it a chance.

7- (11/2020) Sharpen Your Knives (DCMK, in-progress longfic, won’t be published for a long while)

Shinichi has no idea how things could have gone so wrong, so quickly.

8- (08/2020) The Time Travel Road Trip Case (DCMK, spin-off of Who The F- Is This) (technically not the first lines, but it’s the first part I’ve written)

Shinichi(Conan) felt someone lift him up from the back, he turned his face as he came level with their chest, one look at their face and…

Well, guess he found KID.

9- (06/2020) Who The F- Is This (DCMK, longfic in progress, the first chapters are on AO3)

Shinichi’s head was throbbing. He felt like someone was playing drums with his head. What has happened?

10- (06/2020) Harrinichi Kupotter (DCMK & Harry Potter x-over, longfic in progress)

Shinichi doesn't really believe in superior beings, gods or the supernatural. So far everything in his life could be explained by science and very human tricks.

11- (03/2019) Naobuza & Raphtaku AU (The Rising of the Shield Hero & Naruto x-over, an old baby I keep coming back to)

If you were to ask anyone to tell you about Naofumi Iwatani, those who remember him would tell you that he’s a weird kid. There’s something otherwordly about him, as if he was evolving in a totally different universe from them.

12- (01/2019) The self-indulgent FMA TT au (FMA, an old project that I should go back to, someday)

Somehow, sometimes, Ed felt like there was some being out there, out for him.

13- (01/2019) Nanadaime time travel AU (Naruto, will most likely be an OS, one day I will finish it enough to post it on AO3)

It was a late night In the Hokage office, one of many. As was usual by now, the Hokage was filling paperwork at his desk, his right-hand-man filling his own number of files at his side.

14- (11/2018) Baby Ed saving the world with hugs and punches (FMA, an old project that I will go back to)

On a warm night during the summer of 2005, as the sun left it’s place for the shining stars, Edward Elric went to sleep for the last time besides his lovely wife, in the house he has rebuilt with his own two hands.

15- (06/2018) The roadtrip 03Ed never knew he needed (FMA03/CoS & Fantastic Beasts and where to find them x-over, a serie of OS)

He wasnt sure what brought him back here.

Maybe he just wanted to make sure Envy was dead, one monster less in this world. Or maybe he just wanted to make sure there was no way between both world (no way to go home.)

16- (04/2018) Badass Women Roleswap AU (FMA, I still sometime go back to it, will most likely be a serie of OS)

Ed didn’t have many memories of his father. He could remember a tall man, who always looked sad. A giant who always had trouble when it came to holding him and his brother. A figure always working in his study. A person who always looked sad when teaching them alchemy.

17- (03/2018) FMA TT fic I wasnt planning to expend (FMA, old project, I will get back to it.) (it is, also, the first fanfic idea I got when I got back into writing fics)

Nothing happened as it should have been. No matter everything they’ve done to try and stop him, the dwarf in the flask still managed to bypass it all and, in some way, reach his goal.

And that’s pretty much it for any written stuff I got (anything else is too old)

Bonus: A la recherche du canard (Looking for the duck) - it’s an old assignment I had for french class, where we had to pick an article and write a short story based on it. (When I say old, I mean it’s from 2012 - it’s a good way to see how far I’ve come). It’s honestly really bad but I did have a lot of fun back then. (This is a translated from french version btw) (yes I stole names from Hetalia I was always terrible at finding names for characters)

The sun shined upon the sleeping man face, who opened his bright blue eyes. He got up suddenly, throwing his blanket on the ground. Today would be the day where he, Alfred F. Jones, Yorkville police officer, would accomplish his mission: keeping an eye on the annual fair set-up.

So, observations: You can very clearly see me go through various fandom phases it’s funny. Also my naming skills for the AUs got slightly better (but not that much.) I do tend to drop a name (usually the person from whom the POV is) in those first sentences. The first paragraph tend to get shorter with time (which might simply be because I realised I tend to lose focus when it gets too long.) I also never start on dialogue, generally I go for the POV’s thought uh.

I do quite like the ones for the Vigilante Yagi AU and the Midoriya Inko’s guide, The Kids Will Be Alright too. Badass Women I like it but also am not 100% happy with it.

This mostly made me want to share even more about these stories to y’all.

Anyway! Tagging @whoever wants to do it! I’m not sure whom I follow has already done it/been tagged or not, uuuuhhh, maybe @artistfingers ? If you’re a writer and wants to do it then go for it and tag me I guess.

#cro shouts into the void #tag game #i accidentally lost the first draft and had to do it again and I Am Not Mad #(it's a lie i am a little bit mad)#also if you want to know more about any of those please send me an ask

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solautumn · 4 years ago

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1. [ Nice ]

“You’re too nice for your own good, you know.”

"Anar’alah! Are they even feeding you out there?! You’re not going back out without provisions,” he remembered his mother asking. The words echoed in his head, and Solarian Autumnsong knew he ought to put on some weight, and perhaps go for more runs when his nose wasn’t buried in tomes of plant research. Every time he returned home for a few days of respite from his research partnered with the Reliquary, it was always the same. She would fuss over his torn clothing, small, lanky frame-- it was genetics, really!-- and the damp smells of the Jungle that clung to him as though nature herself had embraced him. But he supposed that came with being the youngest of four, and the last one to leave the nest to find his own destiny. He was no longer a youngling, for light’s sake! What would it take for people to understand?

Solarian was born at the tail end of the second war. His elder brothers were blood knights, like their father before them, and he’d been expected to become the same. But Solarian shared the disposition of his sisters. One was an arcane magistrix teaching at the Sunfury Spire, while the other found her calling doing research with the Kirin Tor, only to sadly perish at their hands during the purge of Dalaran. When he seemed not to crave the glory of battle like his brothers, Solarian’s mother secretly sighed in relief, although once she realized the possibility of him being eaten by a raptor or getting speared by blood ritualist trolls was real, the worry came back.

Having studied extensively in Silvermoon and Shattrath City for most of his somewhat sheltered life, the young elf had a boundless thirst for knowledge when it came to studying medicine, herbalism, and alchemy. The three went hand in hand, and with all of the fighting and strife that was quite literally tearing Azeroth asunder, Solarian wanted to be a light. He didn’t want to lurk in the shadows of his siblings’ achievements, or under the protective, controlling hand of his mother. It was during the Legion’s invasion to Azeroth that he really pulled himself away from home, unable to sit by and wait for others to lay down their lives. Maybe he wasn’t a warrior, but he could do something.

His lack of battle prowess was replaced by a gnawing curiosity to understand the world around him, and a desire to develop his gifts for wielding light magic, creating protective barriers. Not to mention an innate ability to learn and adapt quickly. Not to mention his still-developing but already advanced alchemical skills.

Every four to five days, Solarian was given time off to return to the city and tend to personal business. He took the time to pay for a portal to Silvermoon in order to bring home a few samples for his own laboratory at home, and bring back provisions or supplies that he couldn’t easily find in Zandalar. It was just another such visit when he met Sandellis.

As he began to make his way back and out of the city, he hadn’t counted on his packmule, Rennsley, being so stubborn that he stopped him in the middle of the city, but perhaps it had been serendipity at work. He wouldn’t have noticed the lone Illidari otherwise, after all. Solarian saw the blood first, then the bright, crimson tattoos over his broad, dark shoulders. Apparently, he’d been injured in a scrap at the unsavory Row (that Sol typically avoided like the plague!), but the story of his opponent hanging by the pants over a lamp post made Solarian laugh. He’d been in scraps before, but had no such stories to tell that would be of remote interest to an Illidari. Thankfully, the other allowed him to bandage the bloodied wound, and an unlikely conversation sprang up between them, tucked away into a corner of the city unbothered by any odd stares or murmured whispers.

Solarian told him of his love for the jungle and the world outside of the crystaline spires of the Sin’dorei, and of how he wished he could have been born a druid. The Illidari seemed to have no one to come home to, and nothing to his name. How was it possible that people who’d done so much to save the world come home to nothing? All the blond elf could offer were a few ripe sunfruits, and a blanket, along with a promise that he would return in a few days to tell him more of his adventures.

“You’re too nice for your own good,” Sandellis said, sightless face turned in the herbalist’s direction.

Solarian’s brows furrowed in thought and in bristling defense. He was always having to justify his deep-seated desire to help. Don’t feed that cat! Don’t feed those compys or saurid hatchlings! Don’t give your gold to those performers, they’re scammers! Solarian wasn’t completely daft, or someone to be taken advantage of, but he did wear his heart on his sleeve a little more than he probably should have. Perhaps he was still young and not yet jaded by the ways of the world. Nevertheless, it wasn’t pity, and it wasn’t a sense of self-righteousness that drove him, he believed. He wasn’t trying to persuade anyone of anything, but rather wanted to make it easier for people to exist in a world so plentiful of resources. If he had plenty, why would he not want to give? Magic may have been the birthright of all Sin’dorei, but not everyone could conjure the basic necessities required for living. Was that not what those on the front lines fought for? To live?

He made up his mind that he would return to the city in a few days with more sunfruit. He would also experiment with combining starlight rose, river bud, and Akunda’s bite with whistlebloom juicy fruit for a paste that would help quell the ravenous mana thirst inside the Illidari. Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn’t, but it wouldn't hurt to try, would it? What if it could help others?

🌱🌱🌱

#WRA Horde RP #c: Sandellis #My Writing #I'm rusty as hell but here we goooo

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pondwriting · 5 years ago

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On The Subject of Kenku

by Jarvis Ipan

5th of Olarune 1288 0900

I'm starting this journal to chronicle my latest research into the Kenku. This race of humanoid bipedal birds is the subject of many stereotypes almost all of which negative. I'll summarize my past studies here.

1. A strong desire to fly and for high places. Either due to evolution or (as stated by the common man) by an old god of the Kenku they have lost their ability to fly over the last 50 generations. Because of this the Kenku are most comfortable up high in towers or trees.

2. A love for shiny things. Most Kenku will "collect" any shiny bauble within reach. Mostly used for trade among themselves because of the next fact.

3. Complete lack of creativity and craft. Kenku do not have the ability to create or express themselves in anyway. All tools, food, clothes, and objects must come from trade or theft which unfortunately is very high among their race. Many Kenku become highwaymen in order to feed and clothe themselves. This lack of cognitive function doesn't stop at creating art and objects.

4. Inability to form words and sentences without external stimuli. Kenku are not able to form or create words. They communicate with a complex set of mimicry. Words are learned based on the individual experience of a Kenku. For example one may learn the word "Bird" from someone on the street and begin using that. Another Kenku may hear a bird chirping and will mimic the chirp to mean the same thing. Once I've witnessed a Kenku purchasing a sword from a blacksmith. He couldn't request a sword for he didn't have the word to express it but he was able to mimic the sound of a hammer hitting steel with shocking accuracy. The blacksmith was familiar with this particular tribe of Kenku and was able to continue the transaction.

5. Almost perfect memory and mimicry. Once a word or voice is learned the Kenku can perfectly mimic it. The accuracy of this impression can fool most ears. Words and sounds are rarely forgotten by the Kenku. Most can mimic sounds they learned as a hatching. While the Kenku cannot produce for themselves they can learn from others. They are very adept at taking orders and carrying out repetitive tasks. Let me offer this as an example. If you give a man a hoe and a field he'll instantly know that he can farm the land. A Kenku will never come to this conclusion. You must teach him the technique, the spacing of the plots, and to what depth to dig down into the earth. After this the Kenku will be able to perfectly mimic this action for the rest of his life. It has not been concluded as to if the Kenku know "why" it is doing this task. I hope to answer this question in my upcoming studies.

My goal for this experiment is to see if, given proper training and guidance, a Ken is able shrug off these stereotypes and create for his or her self. I've recently acquired a fertilized egg from one of the local groups in town. The Kenku mother seemed to have no problems parting with the egg and I was able to collect it for only a few gold coins. I'm sure to get some criticism and complaints for this action but I assure whoever reads this that I have only purest of intentions. I've grown fascinated with the culture of the Kenku and wish to assist them in finding a more meaningful existence. Currently I have the egg incubating under a create light spell. I can see some movement within so I believe the hatching will soon be with us. I'll be sure to update as soon as the first cracks in the shell emerge.

8th of Olarune 1288 1300

Egg dimensions

Weight: ~15 lbs.

Height: 20 in.

Diameter: 18 in.

The young hatchling is quite compacted in this shell. I can already see cracks running along the perimeter of the newborns cage. It seems we’ll have a new Kenku in the world any time now.

8th of Olarune 1288 2235

After much work on the part of the young hatchling he has finally broken through. A young boy 1 foot and weighing only 12 lbs. A tad small for their race but healthy which is all an old wizard can ask for. I must admit I was a bit… discouraged when I finally met the poor creature. I cradled him in my arms to keep him warm. Once his eyes opened I peered in deep and saw… nothing. Any empty vessel of a being showing no signs of life or consciousness. He just glared straight ahead unblinking. I was tempted to stop the experiment there but staring into those black eyes I saw something else. A kind of spark from deep within. Maybe it was the dilatation of pupils or the deep unblinking glare he gave me but I could sense he was absorbing everything. My speech and breath. The room and objects. The crackle of the hearth nearby. This young boy was taking in and trying his hardest to understand this new world around him.

I’ll try to stick with what parts of the Kenku culture I can. As such I won’t be bestowing a name on the young hatchling until he’s older. Kenku are unable to come up with names for their young. Most are given a name after their first birthday after they “learn” a skill or interest. Kenku will usually adopt a name from what others call them. I once meet a stonemason and his Kenku assistant Clang. Named so after the sound of chisel hitting stone. Once taught Clang could mold and fire bricks better than the stonemason himself.

I must say having a young companion here has brought warmth to this old tower. It’s not quite so lonely up here anymore.

28th of Olarune 1288 1030

Not even a month has gone by and the boy has already started with his first steps. I’ve read about the advanced growth the Kenku exhibit but I couldn’t imagine it being this quick. Just yesterday the young squire attempted to imitate the high pitch squeal of my teapot. I think it may be time to start some training exercises. Some things are harder to adapt to. He’s taken up roosting in my beard during naps and I’m still not quite used to chewing up his worms for breakfast….

12th of Dravago 1288 1800

It has been just over three months after the birth of the young squire and he’s now fully mobile. He tends to stay on top of the bookshelves and other high places. Why I had quite a fright when I went I went to make my midday tea. I opened the upper pantry to fetch the teapot and out tumbled the young hatchling. He landed square on his feet and pranced off like nothing was off. I do say I almost saw the great library in the sky. This one is quite nimble and surefooted to be sure.

He seems to have the first developments of speech. I talk to him quite frequently and I think he’s started to mimic my more common phrases. Mostly “Get down from there!” and “Tea time!” The youngling adores his times outside. The weather has been agreeable so we sometimes take walks around the garden. He’s always trying to scurry up any tall object he can find in the yard. He seems to be able to adequately observe the things around him. As I’m writing this the young boy is admiring the shooting stars and when there’s a cool breeze coming down the mountains he waits. Letting the cool air wrap around him. I do enjoy his company and admire his curiosity.

18th of Sypheros 1288 1300

Studies have had mixed results with the young hatchling. He now has a word for every object in the kitchen but can’t seem to form sentences that express what he wants. I fear I’ll need to teach him every word in the dictionary and every common sentence. Mathematics may be the death of us both.

20th of Vult 1288 1215

I say. This boy has gone completely mad. I left a ladder out while trying to reach a book from the upper shelf and the young squire seems to have claimed the rafters of the tower for his own. He refuses to come down and has stolen every shiny object that wasn’t nailed down. Of particular importance was my pocket watch. A family heirloom and dwarven made. I suppose I could move some more boards up there for the poor boy. It’s not his fault the desire to fly is so strong. I’ll be sure to move a bed roll up there for him.

8th of Olarune 1289 0900

What a year it has been. I’ve gained countless pages of research and insight into the Kenku. I can’t express my joy for this wealth of knowledge. Training time has quickly become the highlight of the day for both of us. I tried teaching the boy the structure of grammar but he just doesn’t grasp it. It seems that spark of creativity inside all of us accounts for much more than we give it credit. I’ve gone back to having him mimic common phrases for the time being. Mathematics may be a lost cause. He can correctly answer any math problem I throw his way but only if he’s seen it before. 2+2=4 but 2+3 is a mystery to the poor boy. I’ll teach him what I can and hope that one day he can begin making connections.

Art is also a struggle but from no fault of his own. I’m no artist myself so during painting time he draws the same stick man and shapes I’ve shown him. He’s started to decorate his space with these drawings as well. I was bringing him his morning tea when I noticed he had swiped the white paint and a brush. Stick men and stars littered the walls and ceiling of his nook. I let the boy have his fun and left the drawings alone. We sat in his loft and sipped tea when I brought up the fact that he didn’t have a name yet. He was partly leaning outside the window near his bed roll watching the clouds roll by. His black feathers rustling in the wind. When the wind would pick up he would mimic the sound of the breeze running through the trees. I’m not sure if that was him telling me something or if I was imaging it but that’s what stuck. He seemed to enjoy it and gave me a smile.

I think Breeze is a fine name. Happy birthday Breeze. You brighten my every day. (A few lines mark out this last sentence)

24th of Barrakas 1293 1500

Breeze’s vocabulary has grown to be quite robust. He can speak and write quite well. I think it’s time to move to more complex studies. I want to see how the boy does with magic and alchemy. My theory is with the advanced memory of the Kenku they would be quite adept at casting spells. Think of being able to cast any spell without first memorizing and preparing it first. A very powerful skill indeed.

1st of Zarantyr 1294 0930

Magic may have been a mistake for the poor boy. He made quite a critical error when trying to cast lightning. I instructed him to change the spell slightly in order to increase and decrease the power. I never showed him how to do this. My hope was after all this training he may have picked up some kind of self-motivation. I pushed the boy too far. The affect was a very strong lightning strike right on himself. It’s not all lost though. Breeze did successfully increase the power of the spell with no direction from myself. He’s in his loft healing from the minor burns. Other than some scotched feathers he seems fine. Another… unexpected outcome from this is his voice. After the strike his voice seems to have been pitched up and he’s talking much faster than he used to. Before he was, more or less, using my voice as his own. He adopted my way of speaking for his own needs. I don’t see this new development as a negative though. I see it as taking on a voice of his own. He’s not talking through me anymore. He’s talking for himself as an individual. It’s also quite humorous listening to him recall his adventures outside in such an… enthusiastic tone.

For now I’m going to halt all attempts at magic. Without the proper magical safe guards a spell can go wrong in an instant. It would take years to teach him every scenario for a spell going wrong. I don’t want to take that chance again.

8th of Olarune 1294 0900

Happy birthday Breeze. I think we’ll have your favorite meal tonight. Night crawler stew. You’re so large now you can barely fit in my lap. Of course that doesn’t stop you from trying to roost in my beard.

2nd of Barrakas 1294 1500

You talk about your adventures in the garden often. I hang at your every word as you tell me how you slayed dandelions that looked like dragons. I always know the plots and endings because they’re from the bed time stories I tell you. I cherish them all none the less.

8th of Olarune 1295 1800

Happy birthday Breeze. You tell me more and more about leaving the tower and seeing the world. I have to say selfishly I wish you never leave. This time with you has been a blessing and I don’t with it to end. I dread the day you finally leave.

11th of Zarantyr 1297 1500

I fear my time left with you is growing short. You talk of exploring the world every day and I have nothing left to teach you. 9 long years we’ve been together. You haven’t reached maturity yet but I know come spring I won’t be able to keep you here. These walls are your cage. You must go out and explore. I just hope one day you’ll come back to visit your old wizard father. It’s the best job I’ve ever had and the best of my 104 years. I’ll remember them fondly.

8th of Olarune 1297 0900

Happy birthday Breeze. When I came to bring you your morning tea I noticed you weren’t in your loft. I know you’ve gone to explore the world and have great adventures. I hope you find everything you ever wanted out there and ride the winds back to me one day. Since you’re not fully grown I was quite worried. I wish you had stayed just a couple more years but I saw your goodbye note. Two things I never taught you. Painted on the wall of your loft was a stick man with a large bushy beard and under that the three words I never had the courage to say…

I love you.

I’ll need to put this away before the ink smudges.

8th of Olarune 1297 0910

My pocket watch seems to have gone missing.

#d&d backstory #dnd backstory #dungeons and dragons #Breeze the Kenku #kenku

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the-uptake · 5 years ago

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Between You and Me

The Uptake, With Symbiotic Self-Indulgence. Book III, Chapter 11. Go to previous. TWs: Shaving, alcohol, drugging, hangovers of both kinds, bondage, epidemic, isolation, bombing survivorship mention, descriptions of lethal body horror. Bite the hand that feeds, tap the vein that bleeds...

________________________

Come third shift that night, the faint hum within the complex’s walls had faded, and only one wall of each apartment’s main room and bathroom illuminated its inhabitants’ way with the pale Wolfram phosphorescence accumulated during the second shift. If not for the potent, unfamiliar scent of vaguely sandalwood aftershave and the dark gold towels, Cecil could nearly have forgotten he stood shirtless in someone else’s bathroom. That, and he’d sooner be caught dead than own bathroom rugs.

His halo lay, turned off, on the counter beside the sink. The internal elements in its opalescent clear plastic emanated faint pulses. To his surprise, he found the tenant owned a rechargeable power bank. Possibly several, he supposed, considering the facility with which he located it in the fluorescent twilight. So as to let ‘Choly keep theirs to get through the night, the redhead gladly made use of the foot-long clear-housing device, so the aural aureole could maintain its juices that night well past the hour it normally flickered off altogether. Unlike the backup electrical source, his boyfriend wouldn’t have any need at the time for the clipper that he then produced from its case. He fished around in the like-new guard attachments, recalling that ‘Choly didn’t use any. When he snapped on the size two, an ebullient nerve jolted through him. He pulled the drain stopper, and leaned into the mirror to get to work.

As the chunks of two-inch hair fell to the counter, floor, and sink basin, the act felt more natural than he’d expected. He’d trimmed himself dozens of times over the years, and maintained his own facial hair, but he’d never buzzed off all his hair. If he’d ever seen a Leveler with their hair this short, they hid it beneath the translucent cranial plates which the Northeast US deemed especially fashionable. Full-scalp plating was unheard of, though: these functional successors to the fascinator always had either brightly colored, vee-reactive, or even fiber-optic extensions wefted through exposed sections, or the wearer’s natural hair pulled through it to be styled somewhat akin to how people used to style hair around combs and other such devices. The reverberations of the clippers on his scalp rendered the sound for him as would a deep bone conduction headset. He wondered how someone might even wear such an accessory without hair long enough to clip it into.

He set down the clippers to run his hands all over his work, and smeared around his chin and jaw with the heels of his palms. The length of what remained on his head now nearly matched that of his third-shift shadow. The more he stared at himself, the more his heart lightened. Content with the catharsis of self transgression, he moved to clean up after himself. With a lock of the longest hair from the top of his head in his fingers, he wondered whether ‘Choly would want it. He flinched at himself, but still tucked the sizable brassy chunk into the inner pouch of his toiletry bag regardless, unable to quit the habituation of such thoughts. He did his best without a broom and dust pan to corral the rest of the trimmings into the wastebasket.

Without building power, the plumbing lacked necessary pressure, so he instead used some of the tenant’s reserve water supply, from the interconnecting clear stackable units stashed in the bathtub, to shampoo and rinse his head in the sink.

Suspiciously well equipped for the unplugged shifts, he noted, of the tenant’s specialized furnishings. The sensation of scrubbing the fine clippings off his scalp with his fingernails got him whistle-humming softly with his mouth open. The small spigot on the side of it made it incredibly simple to measure out cupfuls to pour over his head as he held it over the basin. Having it in these units is so much handier than our repurposed leftovers bins. Maybe he’d help us get set up with something like this.

He tossed the borrowed towel into the hamper by the tub and put his unbuttoned gold dress shirt back on, then reconnected the four flexible ports of his halo and handshaked it. In the next room, he could hear struggling that had, from the labored nasal breathing, likely gone on for some time. He murmured dully to himself, put his glasses back on his face, and took his empty highball with him to investigate.

Though Jacob’s apartment had the same floor plan as Cecil and ‘Choly’s, the furnishings denied any meaningful confusion. The back third had an office area, the middle a series of utility shelves and an L-shaped workbench perpendicular to the wall, and the front a peculiarly spacious third of open floor with a single broad cabinet. Just as theirs, dozens of potted plants peppered the long, narrow quarters. Unlike theirs, rather than literary in nature, the grey-area verbot that peppered Jacob’s was technological and mechanical.

“Hope you don’t mind that I’ve let myself in, neighbor,” he remarked as he approached the upholstered swiveling desk chair from behind. “Decided I’d stay the night with you, to make sure you recovered right from the tranq. My brother and their friend helped me carry you over here before they headed out.”

Jacob stilled at Cecil’s voice, and stopped straining against the ropes that anchored him to his seat. He didn’t bother craning his head to look up over the back of the chair.

“I do still have both kidneys, right?” The snark received deadpan silence. “--Where’s Angel?”

“Powered off, in the front. I could teach you better encryption, if you want.”

Cecil casually refreshed his glass from the small lacquer dry bar in the very corner of the office space. He plunked a few cocktail cherries suspended in lime gelatin cubes from the zippered package, and splashed in whiskey, ginger ale, and some kind of Vek bitters. He sipped at his concoction until he netted one of the bright blue fruits in his mouth and twisted off the stem, and chewed before he spoke again.

“I appreciate your hospitality, really. These jellies are something else. I’m on my third Premier.” Cecil faced into the apartment, skirting eye contact, to lean his weight against the side of the desk. Behind him, rain had probably strafed the naked window for most of the evening already, and would definitely continue through the night. The stem went back in his cup, since he didn’t trust his ability to hit the waste bin two meters away. “Place’s nice, too. See you’ve greened it up. Did my brother do yours, too, like some kinduva traveling snake oil dealer?”

The blond let a slow breath escape flared nostrils, and an intermittent low whine corrugated his affect.

“What time is it? Can’t be super late. Glow’s still going. --Are you sure you wouldn’t rather a slice of confec? You seem like you could use some confec right now. Don’t strike me as the type to drink--”

“--About twenty-two. Not too long before first shift. Then it’s just the two of us. And I’ll be blind, drunk,and deaf.”

“It’s just you and me here?”

Inebriation had misinformed Cecil’s tongue, since he didn’t usually keep a continuous charge in the halo, but he couldn’t be bothered to correct himself. He worked at draining his glass, so he could earn the rest of the fruits that had glued themselves to the bottom of the crowded glass. He nudged the chair back a bit with his foot to slide over to sit on the desk and face him. He just stared blankly at the tall, thick blond while popping the prized garnishes in his mouth one at a time, removing the stems each time and letting them accumulate in the highball.

Jacob slouched when Cecil’s enjoyment of them seemed more like absent cud-chewing, and he shut his eyes, folding to the implicit staring contest.

“Are you all right, pal? Is that a stupid question? Is that okay to ask? --You know you can just eat the jellies without making a drink, right--”

Cecil sat the glass down on the bar, and gripped the edge of the desk, to swing his feet under it.

“I just shot you. You’re tied up, and I can’t let you go. And I can’t even look at my boyfriend right now. Do you even really need to ask?” His mouth scrunched and he glanced at the ceiling before resuming more agreeable eye contact. “Question of my own now, since you can clearly intuit some modicum of transparency: What made you a repairman?”

Jacob’s exhausted eyes stitched in a smile, and he shifted back in the chair.

“Cred’s never been the only currency. There’s lost potential in everything around us. Call it alchemy, in the most abstract sense. Mend and mod. Turn something into something else. In lieu of cred, people used to trade goods and services all the time, back in the day. The tradition never died. It just changed. Like everything else did.” He squinted again, his mouth becoming a wide thin line. “Look, I can’t turn on the poetic charm just like that. If you’re asking why a repairman’s decided to live in Tri-City, with everything like it is, I stayed behind because I knew there’d be survivors who’d still need the building to work right. Simple as that. Why’s it matter to you?”

“How altruistic of you. Of course it matters. You weren’t just fixing the garbage chutes. You were going through people’s trash. Just doesn’t add up to me, though, why you’d put yourself at risk to return something so patently thrown away.”

“Again with that box!” Jacob scoffed, the stress flickering out of his grin. “Would you have rather I just let that stuff get destroyed? Wait. You’re scared I’d tattle. Weak. You’d better freakin’ believe I wouldn’t bring police into the building. Your honey isn’t the only gremlin in this place, you know. I’m not gonna burn the whole house down just to smoke out one cockroach.”

“I know I can’t be the only one with a weapon. What’s stopping you from dealing with the... roaches... yourself?”

The subtext read louder than the text. Jacob knew why Cecil didn’t think he could untie him, but now he’d said it outright.

“You feel personally responsibly for Central, don’t you, librarian? That’s what all this is. You just can’t let it go.”

Cecil let out a broken laugh, and his eyes glassed up as he steeled a snivel.

“How can’t I? I should have been able to stop it. I was working a Level 7 server room when Central became a Roman candle. You snarked about my burn scars and all that shit, but surely from the look of me, you can tell how close I had to be to one of the payloads.” The ex-librarian couldn’t sit still anymore and paced. He quickly conflated the habit with his brother and sat back down on the desk, to lace and fold his hands in his lap with a sour, desperate face. “You know we’ve only got a localized Nikola-web here, repairman. Just what they’ll feed us, accept from us. Have you got an Underweb connection? Has anyone here?”

Jacob didn’t like not being able to watch Cecil pace, but he didn’t like it even more when the pacing halted so abruptly, only for the strung-out stocky little man to perch in front of him all over again. His eyes slowly widened as his brow raised, and he frowned thoughtfully.

“Now just what exactly would somebody like you need the Underweb for?”

The ginger nearly objected, but recognized he hadn’t been shut down. He shifted in place as he formed his narrative response.

“‘Choly needs medical stuff. But he’s scared of billing. It’s exciting to know he’s taken care of all that himself his whole life. You know Stalkers had two options with their medical needs. They either bartered with verbot to get care from this one clinic... or they didn’t. He’s been disabled since before he was a teen. He racked up an awful lot of debt with their lead doc. It got to where he couldn’t afford the emotional, sociological, or physical cost of enlisting the doc’s help.” He stilled himself by chewing at his spider bite studs, but his voice began to break. “He asked me this afternoon about a... maggot debridement kit. And Trylocaine saline. The bullet you asked about. He told me, he got shot in the leg. That night. It’s gotten so fucking infected. You think the 25-line garbage chute smelled bad? Just be glad you weren’t in the bathroom this morning helping him sop up the pus in the first place.”

The repairman huffed, eyeing the dry bar.

“So he wasn’t puffing up to scare me, by describing all the...” He realized he couldn’t gesticulate, and slouched in a sympathetic resignation. “The skin or whatever. Slag, though. Leather. Real leather,” he whooped. “And that much of it. It’s all kind of revolting, isn’t it?”

“Everything about him is so revolting that it’s charming. If there’s a way to keep him... keeping it. Oh, I don’t know.” He caught himself trying to stand to pace and burked the compulsion. “I just don’t understand why he threw it away, when he literally put years of blood and sweat into it.”

“Everybody’s got their own exchange rate, their own value of things. He might just not value the same things you do. Or at least, not in the same way. Whatever value that thing, and crafting it, has to him. Might be past tense. --Why’s it so important to you, that he keeps on like he has? You only just today found out about it, from the sound of it all.”

“Because this has been his ‘normal’ for the past four years!” he cried, throwing his hands up. “I can nearly forgive that he never told me, or showed me. He hasn’t had his hair bleached like that since we first met, and then he goes and does that the day after the bombing. And that tattoo. That triangle thing immortalized in the leather. I know he got it, a month after we started going steady, just to push my buttons.” He rubbed at his tattooed arms and couldn’t look at Jacob anymore, trembling deep in his lungs. “...I guess a part of me’s worried that he’s either trying to move to a time before he knew me. Or a time before he had to be nagged up over all this mess. It’s an understatement, that everything’s gone to shit since Central went dark, but everything really did feel right until that day. We managed. We worked. Like, it was all falling into place, not apart.”

Jacob barked a laugh, disquieted by his inability to unpack the brand of Cecil’s loyalty to ‘Choly.

“Geez, pal. Gonna sprain something, overthinking so hard. Mister Thorn’s on your side, and he’s going to guarantee your Ever After won’t be ending any time soon. Promise.” He got a bit lyrical as he drafted the laundry list. “Is leather working stuff all you think ‘Choly would need? The surgical stuff. I’ve got pharmaceutical connections. Wonder if Trylocaine’s enough...”

Cecil’s head picked up when he heard Jacob humoring him, and a hollow enchantment overwhelmed him at a loss for the spectrum of what the repairman must have had access to.

“I’m... not sure what you’re suggesting here,” he mumbled.

“All you’ve gotta be is specific. I can get it.”

“...And the cost?”

The repairman scoffed, in a wide-eyed detachment.

“The cost? You mean, what’s in it for me?” He thought it over a moment. “All depends on what it is, I guess.”

“What about Ketonamil?” Cecil blurted out, a little too intensely. Worried to have been mistaken for anger, he softly amended, “--Or at least, the stuff to make some?”

Cecil’s head rang in a complex grief, that the cyanogenic steroid was the first thing to fly out of his mouth. Maybe he felt more threatened than he thought by Jacob, in ways the tranq couldn’t adjust for. Or maybe he just wanted to gauge the repairman’s going prices. Jacob melted in a stunned, warm fascination.

“All this couch psychiatry mess has been fun, but if we’re going to continue to be neighbors, I really have got to work on how I keep letting you lot continue to surprise me with gems like this.” A wistful sigh escaped him, stuttering into discomfort. He wagged his head toward the reader on the square pad in the windowsill. “Yeah, I’ve got Underweb access. It should still have a charge. Parked it before third shift. If you... untie me... I could--”

“--Or,” Cecil asserted with a wild glare, gripping the man’s kneecap until he squirmed, then balance back to put the other hand on the device slightly behind himself. “You could just tell me your sequence so I can browse for myself.”

Cecil turned on the screen and waited. Maybe the liquor had loosened his inhibitions. He never got drunk. Was he a mean drunk? A talkative drunk? He’d disclosed to a near total stranger things he’d never come close to discussing with anyone close to him. He could see Jacob sweating.

“...Or that.”

Jacob told him the finger pattern design to draw through the symbols, and the lock screen shut off. He’d never been able to get the hang of ‘Choly’s rooted reader, and he’d purposefully left its updates off for years on top of that. The rooted user interface of the current model had so many more buttons to swipe among, and many menus necessitated the use of manually typing with the keyless entry pad that occupied the last third of the flat device. He didn’t ask Jacob to tell him how to use it, lest he risk inviting giving Jacob good reason to insist, If only you’d just untie me, I could show you myself, I’m no good at explaining things like that with words, et cetera, et cetera.

He’d figure it out himself.

The time in the corner indicated 22:52. If only you’d just untie me. The hypothetical request repeated itself in Cecil’s head. Did he really trust what Jacob told him, or was he being spoon-fed whatever might get him to free him? Though the wine key didn’t look like a reliable option, he pocketed it. Then he picked up the pronged Japanese bar spoon, and twiddled it between two fingers while he browsed with the other hand trying to locate the merchant apps. Apparently, its owner had the news Web app set to auto-load certain tiers of noteworthy news broadcasts. The screen split between three different pieces:

“Bloom Set to Ramp to Full Pandemic Status”

“Bloom Victims Now Sprouting Up on International Soil”

“New Developments in Bloom Survivor Procedures”

He skimmed the first, his brow sinking against his glasses. Something was effectively causing people to spontaneously turn inside out. He could recognize the “plant” and “insect” or“crustacean” traits the article described in the structures that jutted from and leafed out of the bodies knotted up in the apparent agony of such a gruesome death, even with only the photographs included of the casualties. His jaw tightened, recalling his brother mere hours ago making casual discussion over how Vekarix couldn’t graft an exoskeleton donor into a mammal’s genetic expression without lethal consequences. He boiled inside at the incredulity that Ben could be involved. The thylacine hybrid hadn’t seemed remotely out of sorts during the insect grafting discussion with ‘Choly. Had he been about to tell them all about this‘Bloom,’ only to have gotten interrupted by Jacob? By the Box?

The second article, he only skimmed, his ears ringing too much to focus. He gleaned victims had been found on both coastlines of the States, and in the past week cases had been discovered in Scandinavia and South Asia. Investigations had already been underway to pinpoint if a sole food supplier might have shipped out tainted stock, and pressure had intensified once the epidemic had crossed international waters. He spaced out a ways, despising the reality how disconnected from the outside world their apartment building was. Unplugged from reliable transportation, let alone utilities, including Web. Fed only what FEMA deemed suitable to funnel into their location-specific Nikola-based Web broadcasts. He stared at the photos, revolted fundamentally at what could only be some manner of genetic disease.

Speechless, the ex-librarian looked up, haunted, and turned around the reader to set it in Jacob’s lap to observe him.

“I’ve got to keep up on current events,” he lampshaded. “Sue me for having auto-load set on some stuff.”

“--You knew about this then?” Cecil snipped. “Have there been any in Tri yet?”

Jacob shrugged, and decided giving him his closest understanding of the crisis better served them both than instructing specific topic searches.

“Only a matter of time, I guess. They’ve started refining a cure. Made their first survivor announcement a few days ago. Nasty stuff. Comes in flare-ups. Seems to start just turning you green, but every episode after that just fucks you up sideways. Looking like the key to surviving it is catching it before‘crab phase’ or whatever the hell that explosion of sharp mangled guts is. Worst part is, it makes you complacent to the changes, or oblivious altogether. You don’t seek medical help. You stop eating, and seek light and water above all else. The first survivor only got there‘cause he stuck close enough to home his steady found him and took him somewhere.”

All the while, Cecil had stared at the reader screen, not Jacob.

“What... is it.”

“A virus, maybe? No one knows. It’s got to be genetic, ‘cause they reversed it with humanization serum. Look, if you wanna read up on it, that’s fine. I’m probably missing scientifical parts of this whole shebang. Use my reader all you want. I don’t care. Just lemme get up and piss, pal. You really are tormenting me at this point.”

Cecil finally folded, and crouched behind the chair to cut the knots with the wine key. By the time the ropes loosened off the chair, Jacob was already rounding the chair to gently knuckle-scrub the ex-librarian’s fresh buzz cut with a chuckle, and he strolled off to the bathroom. Cecil bundled up the rope, then sat to resume reading the news articles. Without all the bookshelves to dampen the sound, having the door open while he took care of his business echoed awfully. Cecil sneered, but appreciated that even though Jacob saved reserve water by not flushing until in the morning, he at least heard him wash his hands.

The third piece was almost totally in video broadcast. He started it, but couldn’t find the volume to turn it up, so he tapped at it until closed captioning started streaming. They interviewed a tall, older man with worn features and an angular nose, bespoken in layered burgundy and navy leisure suiting. The man had shoulder-length receding chartreuse hair, and blood-black sclera and fingernails. From his manicured brows and sideburns, he could tell it wasn’t a dye job. He grimaced as he skimmed the text.

Ivory Rasmussen. Prior already renown as the Confectioner responsible for Resin. Lives in Level 22, in the solar sector of still-crippled Tri-City, New Jersey.

He didn’t get anything more from the interview beyond the understanding they wanted to know what he felt, knowing his survival could mean a large-scale success in overcoming the pandemic globally. Except his insistence that, despite the global incidence, he discredited anyone who thus far considered the Bloom a pandemic of any kind. How dare Jacob simply shrug when a Tri-City native was the survivor in mention. When Jacob came up behind him and put a hand to his shoulder, he jerked to glower up at him, but softened immediately.

“Dude looks super wild. Am I right?” He patted the shoulder for emphasis.“Now how about that shopping list? Gotta get it before first shift. My receiver’s in a third shift sector, so their glow-time is in less than an hour now.”

“Leather crafting tools,” Cecil seethed. “Maggot debridement. Trylocaine. ...Antibiotics! And Ketonamil.”

At first, he’d just been sticking to what he’d thought was an accidental request, but certainty laced his voice now as though he hadn’t known he meant it the first time he’d said it before.

“And Ketonamil,” Jacob repeated. He sat on the edge of the desk and took the reader from him, flipping through with routine cynicism as he easily located every item requested. “Sorry for doing it for you. We’re just in a time crunch, is all.”

“You ordered the things!” Cecil nearly bolted up out of the chair. “But we hadn’t even negotiated what it’ll set me back yet!”

“Shh, shh,” he soothed, waving him to mentally sink back down in the chair. “Prices on delivery, neighbor. Prices on delivery.”

“But--”

“There a problem? No questions asked, why you want any of this stuff. I can conveniently forget anything you’ve said to me tonight, if you like. Doctor patient confidentiality, or whatever bullshit you want to call it. Services are the oldest human currency. I’ve got the means and the motivation. You won’t find both so easily in the same individual. Not in these parts. I’m not for anything too violent, I promise. I can already reassure you, I’ve never set a death in motion in providing any of these items in the past.”

“Up to, but not including,” the librarian jabbed dryly.

“Say, I wonder if we could find a genuine purpose for all that genuine leather,” he proposed aloud, stroking his short under-chin beard thoughtfully. “Something the little gremlin might like to keep.”

“He fancies himself an insect,” he corrected. Though the deprecating endearment nettled him, it worried him more that this endeavor might imperil his priceless object so quickly after he’d come into its possession. “I’m sure of it, that if you asked him, he’d consider the leather his chrysalis.”

“And just what do you think it’ll make him, if we can convince him to turn the stuff into something else?” The repairman offered the bag of cocktail jellies with a benevolent glance.

“Something that he might like,” Cecil repeated as he awed up at the taller man, accepting the cherries in a deferential entrapment.

“You still wanna fall back and keep an eye on me tonight?”

“I don’t think I could go home just yet.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Cecil snorted, and popped another fruit in his mouth.

“Depends on your hourly rates, I guess.”

#biopunk #dystopian #cyberpunk #body horror #dystopia #the uptake #with symbiotic self indulgence #jacob thorn #george cecil #between you and me

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tomasorban · 6 years ago

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A Manner of the Just

All comes from The One, and to The One all return, a Rosicrucian axiom. We, you and I, all together, embody this One collectively. For a very arcane, inexplicable necessity the Creative Principal divided Its One-Self into the multitudes. Avatars, masters and sages through millennia from around the world have taught that this One Identity does so repeatedly with waxing and waning universes ad infinitum. These same erudite entities also have taught that it is possible to consciously co-exist and co-create with the One Identity, eternally. To achieve such a state necessitates that we, individually, traverse a singular path, and that with singular intent and perseverance it is attainable within one physical life-span, if begun early in life and under the right conditions. Even if we were to begin such an endeavor late in life nothing is lost, so that continuation of the Magnum Opus into the next physical sojourn is assured. This then brings us into the next right conditions at an earlier age. Otherwise how could past masters have achieved this very state? How is this possible? Because we are called and pulled to do so by the very same One Identity.

Some synopses from the Internet:

“The Buddhist sages’ teachings could be essentially summarized: “Nothing, nothing whatsoever, is to be clung to as I or mine. Such is freedom.” The way to true freedom is through the ending of birth and death – the affect-laden identification with “I” and “mine” – in this very present life. This is why the Buddha’s teaching is called the ‘doctrine of immediacy’.”

“Lao Tzu spoke of the Tao, a Chinese philosophy to signify the fundamental or true nature of the world: simplicity and selflessness in conformity with the Tao, leading a life of non-purposive action, a life expressing the essence of spontaneity.”

Readers familiar with the several books describing the hidden ways of the Yaqui Indian ‘men of knowledge’ walking the ‘Path of Heart’ will also recognize the parallels with spiritual traditions from the East or West. Despite the controversies from some quarters, those understanding spiritual alchemy from the European theater will recognize the many tenets in complete agreement with the Yaqui Way of Knowledge.

The ancient Arab sages spoke of walking the “Razor’s Edge” regarding the ‘straight and narrow’ spiritual path; leaning neither to the dark left, nor to the right light, but a central path committed to neither.

Similarities could be gathered from around the world. And Qabalists have their version to be added. The Qabalistic version is maintained within the symbolic Tree of Life diagram. Previously it was pointed out that the Tree is also a map. A brief look at the Middle Pillar of this ‘map’ reveals the four central spheres, numbered 1, 6, 9 and 10, sum to 26, the number of יהוה, IHVH, Tetragrammaton and Jehovah. The quickest road to the Lord of the Universe is up the central spheres. Quick, but not necessarily easy.

The paths on the Middle Pillar, Gimel (3), Samekh (60), and Tav (400) sum to 463. This equals the term ארח צדיקים, Arech Tzdiqim, ‘the Way, Style or Manner of the Just’. And finally, 26 and 463 sum to 489, the number of משלם גמול, mushalum gimul, ‘perfect recompense, reward, compensation’. So, what? This is all well and good regarding the number juggling, but what does this mean, exactly.

Regarding the Buddhist synopsis above, allow this comparison with The Tree. First, consider this. I have things, like for example, my car, my shoes, my shirt, my computer and a whole list of other stuff...yadda, yadda. These things are not ME. And all your things are not YOU. You and I use these things to get around in the world. And some other things are to be used as tools to get us through. They are possessions, not ME. Take them all away and I am still ME, and you are still YOU. Anything to which you and I attach the words ‘my’ and ‘our’ and ‘his’ and hers’ and ‘theirs’ are not actually Me, You or US. They are all possessive pronouns indicating a personality's possession of something.

Now, allow the comparison a next step. I also speak of my mind, my will, my thoughts, my feelings, my memories, my body, etc. And so do you. However, once again, these indicate possession of something that is NOT ME or YOU. They are something SEPARATE from ME or YOU even though they "feel" like ME. They also are tools which we use to function in the physical world. We NEED the tool of a physical body if we are to peradventure through this physical plane. We NEED the tools of senses with which to explore and communicate through this physical world. Then, when YOU and I make the transition from this physical world, WE will leave the car, the shoes, the shirt, the computer, the body, the mind, the feeling...ALL OF IT. NONE of it is “I AM”.

Then there is this next thing. There is no ME! There is no YOU! What you and I believe and consider to be YOU and ME is what the “I AM” uses as tools with which to explore ITS OWN physical manifestation, ITS OWN creation.

The YOU and the ME have fallen into the created illusion by creating OUR OWN “personality” illusion and have completely identified our SELVES with all this personality-illusion as reality. What is personality but the product of the self- and sub-conscious modes? It’s an illusion. It’s ephemeral function is that of a vehicle, something through which something else flows. Change expressions of self-consciousness or any of the patterns of the sub-conscious and the “personality” is altered accordingly. We were born into a family (maybe), into a group, into a community with its patterns of living. We were named, numbered and addressed by others to be this “person” with which we had no other choice but to believe it. Yours and my embryonic EGO was just defined by these very circumstances. We were conditioned in that all these elements were planted into us sub-consciously. When we were old enough to reason for ourselves we then self-consciously embellished upon the belief of this “person,” this EGO, by our choices of further education (maybe), work, play, styles, friendships, etc.; all this founded upon an illusion of this “personality”. We then grow to accept automatically the feeling that the “I AM” within is really this personality with an EGO, ME! The more definitive the personality the deeper the false EGO is enamored by ‘saltish’ tendencies. Witness the many ‘celebrity’ egos. We are then entrenched into the physical world, which is also illusion. There IS no physical world – chemistry and quantum physics show us this. Qabalists, and all genuine proponents of Ageless Wisdom from around the world, teach that acceptance of the illusion for reality leads to eventual collapse. And all the pain and suffering we experience from what we think is love toward all these things of the illusion always comes from our attachment to them.

We are all actual Sons of God, בני אלהים, beni elohim, as described under the guise of the Descendants of Seth. Seth is also a son of Adam, which naturally goes to say that the Sons of God and the Sons of Adam are one and the same. Seth and his descendants outline the Way of Return for us Sons of Adam to remember that we are Sons of God. However, the Descendants of Cain, who are also Sons of Adam, have merely forgotten that they are also the Sons of God. So the Descendants of Cain outline the course and consequences for all those of us in perpetual motion trying to create a world “out there” for happiness in the illusion. They have become entrenched mistaking the illusion for reality because they have also become entrenched mistaking ‘personality’ to be real, and totally identify the separative EGO with it. They (we) must keep it alive, and fear death.

The Descendants of Cain are not inherently evil, merely misguided. We do the dumb things we do out of fear. To the degree that the created ‘personalities’ of the YOU and the ME have ‘bought into’ that same misguided interpretation of OUR world, to that degree are WE a continuation of the Descendants of Cain.

This is presently the state of the One Identity’s creation. It is incomplete as it stands. WE are incomplete as WE stand. However, the Virgin Impulse from the Creative Center continues with ITS OWN root plan. The creative drive disguised under Seth and that line will eventually blend its essences with the creative drive disguised under Cain and that line. The eventual result will be the dispersal of both lines, replaced by a new creature. Rebis is utterly dissolved.

The newly created entities will continue in perfect harmony within themselves, with the newly created environment, and with the One Identity. They (we) will reign the physical manifestation in the Manner of the Just.

#philosophy #consciousness #oneness #inspiration #alchemy #esoteric

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fletchlingfletcher · 6 years ago

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Concern and Understanding

“Should’ve known you’d work your way up here again.” There was a pause filled with the sound of a glass being pushed onto a table. “You could’ve knocked… what if I hadn’t been decent?” There was just the smallest hint of a joke in that question, or at least as close to one as Miahtoux usually got.

"Are you going to loiter by the door all day or actually come in properly?”

“With how terrible the lock on that door is, I'd really hope you kept yourself decent in here!" she teased right back at him, happily bouncing around the curtain separating the sleeping area from the rest of the room.

"I'm the resident thorn in your side, I have to come at some point or I won't live up to my title," she mocked an introduction with a sweeping, overly dramatic bow. "I also like to check in to see if you're alive every so often and after a few days of silence, I just..wanted to make sure for myself." With that, she dropped herself onto the corner of the bed as a seat, hands folded in her lap, waiting and looking at him expectantly for...something or other.

It had been two days since Miah had given Corinne her tour. Two days since Eaumoix had finally decided to reveal everything he knew about Miah’s family. Two days, where Miah hadn’t left his room at all. Ordinarily it would have cause for concern, what with his actions in the past. But for once, both his master and Papani had decided to leave him alone. Whether it was to let him come to terms with this new information, or to allow him to read the Codex he had been given in peace was unclear. Still, Papani had made sure that Corinne at least wasn’t going to bother him. Giving the newcomer stacks upon stack of information about healing and herbs and demanding that she demonstrate her alchemy ability. It wasn’t just for Miah’s benefit. No doubt the lalafell was considering taking Corinne on as a student. Although she hadn’t asked yet. A decision would have to be made about whether she was staying or not soon. Though maybe it already had been made. Still, on this, the third day. Papani would tell Corinne she was finally free to go back to her own devices again. Finally satisfied that both she knew enough, and that Miahtoux had had enough time.

Miahtoux cracked an eye to look at Corinne before closing it again.

“I’m honestly surprised no one came up sooner. They always like to get paranoid if they don’t hear from me. Always assuming the worst.” He sighed before begrudgingly rolling over to prop himself on one elbow. “Did you just come to check up on me? And/or annoy me? Or was there something you wanted?” Now it was his turn to look at her expectantly. He obviously considered the codex his business for now, at least until convinced otherwise.

Corinne shrugged a shoulder and leaned herself back a bit. "Maybe people thought you might like some time to yourself after...everything. And..." There was a short pause and just a slight tilt of her head.

"Maybe I wanted to see how things were going as well. Not that you have to explain anything to me- honestly, I probably wouldn't understand half of it anyway- but well.....It's..been a whirlwind lately, lots of downs, couple of ups..all on your end. So..I dunno, thought I would stop by and..make sure you're doing..alright, not just alive, but alright."

He continued to watch her searchingly for a while before he gave a very slight and barely visible smile. “I’m never completely fine. But as I said, it's my job to look out for you, not the other way around.” Whether he truly meant it or was trying something approaching satire to deflect the questions he felt were coming was more than a little vague. Still he sighed again, smile vanishing as quickly as it had shown its face.

“What’s really on your mind? You say you are just checking in on me because of everything that’s happened. But I get the feeling there might be something you want to ask but don’t because of it. You may as well simply ask. You should know by now. I’m not terribly good at dealing with…” He waved a hand in a vague motion before continuing “…this… sort of situation…” Clear the word he had been looking for was ‘emotions’

Corinne fidgeted...uncomfortably, which was odd for someone who'd just let themself into someone else's room like it was their own. There was a conflicted look on her face, like she wasn't even entirely sure what it was she wanted to ask, and she'd gotten no closer to figuring it out every time she barged in. What was she allowed to ask? Sure, he'd laid it out and hadn't given any stipulations, but there was always something that wouldn't get an answer. And if she did get answer, what if she didn't like it? Or worse..what if it just led to more questions? Her face was starting to look pained before Corinne finally just shook her head, cleared her mind of it all. She wasn't usually one to think before speaking anyway, why start now?

"I...I don't know..maybe I'm projecting because I've found all of this to be confusing and frustrating myself? And what do I even know? This isn't my life, my past, my family. Maybe you feel that tenfold, or you feel something else entirely. And..I think..I'm..." Her lips pursed, a very brief flashback to her very brief time in Ishgard fleeting through her head. "I'm concerned that you'll feel..hurt. That doesn't mean I don't think you should know, because I absolutely think you should know and it was never fair for you not to know, but I..I don't know. That wasn't really a question was it? That was, but..well..." She huffed, cheeks flushed with self frustration from her rambling.

Miahtoux’s brow furrowed slightly.

“You’re worried that… I’ll feel hurt because of what I might find out?” He laid on his back again, staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know what I feel… when I didn’t know… it was doubt… worry that somehow I had caused all the ill that happened to my family… that I really did just bring misfortune wherever I went… that’s… that’s what I was made to believe… more strongly than ever… before....Now… now I just feel confused… confused as to how all this could have happened… without anyone raising a finger to help… if it wasn’t me… then… why was all the good my family apparently did outweighed by the minority of voices……… so… no I don’t think I’m hurt… part of me knew for a long time that it was just me and my brother… that everyone else was… gone…It doesn’t make that aching loneliness go away… but………”

He paused, rolling over so he was facing away from her before continuing, rather more quietly. “More than anything… it makes me terrified……… even with that codex… I have to figure out… things it took my family generations to learn… Erebus doesn’t remember… he wants to but can’t… so… where does that leave me? Except staring at a road that’s empty… and goes on for eternity…”

The silence was hanging like a weight. Whether he had intended to talk at such lengths… whether it was an accident… it barely seemed to matter. He was so caught up in it that this probably explained why he hadn’t left the room for two days straight.

“Thank you for being concerned but… don’t be… it’s my battle… not yours.”

She felt her heart sink just a little with Miahtoux's shift and the silence he left, and again she was wondering why. Dwelling wouldn't get her answers- nor would rambling but she'd already let that out. With a sigh, Corinne slid over along the bed, enough so that she could reach back to place a hand on his arm. "I'd be a terrible friend to let you do it all alone, wouldn't I?" The was a crack of a smile coming back to her. "At least..I'd prefer not to let you, but it is your battle, as you said. But..whatever I can do, you just have to ask."

“You’re my student… you shouldn’t have to fight my battles… or… put up with this kind of…… weakness…… from me…” He seemed to try and push himself further down into the bed. “I suppose… considering how you are… but I suppose we are past the point of doubt…” He shuffled again before sitting up, looking uncharacteristically meek when he pushed himself into a corner.

Corinne let herself give the smallest of laughs, warm and genuine, but just slight.

"Nobody said anything about what I should or shouldn't do. And nobody said anything about what I have to do. If anything, it would be my choice. Everything so far has been my choice, never an obligation." She turned, lifting her hand to allow him the freedom to shuffle away from her. "I don't think this is weakness, if you're worried about that. I've never thought you were weak. You've..you've absolutely amazed me on multiple occasions! Why do you think I even asked you to teach me in the first place and have continued for so long!?"

“There is too much we don’t know… about each other I mean… thing’s we’ve been through. You told me you grew up surrounded by your sisters… but that something happened… you didn’t tell me what was the real reason for you leaving home just as you didn’t tell me what really happened to you in Ul’dah… and I… haven’t told you most of what I have done… or what has happened to me… without these things… how can we ever hope to understand each other…?”

Her smile was just starting to brighten when he tucked himself into the corner. It shrunk a bit, but it was still there, even despite his own interrogation. "I..didn't think two people needed to know each other's entire history for understanding, but I do suppose we are..awfully different. So..." Now it was her turn to shift, pulling her knees under her, straightening her back, rolling her shoulders..bracing herself. "If it will help...I'll start! What would you like me to tell you first?"

“I… it might take a while… for me… but………” Miahtoux paused for an extended amount of time before properly meeting her eyes. “You… can go first… if you want… but… if you don’t want to say it… you can.. I can… see it, if you show it to me… if you want…”

What exactly he was trying to say was, as normal, unclear. But as he spoke, the pupil of that red Iris in his left eye almost seemed to dilate slightly, as if anticipating something… although, come to think of it had that strange red eye ever reacted normally to light? Even now, in the low light. The pupil seemed noticeably smaller than his right blue eye. Even hidden as it was…

Her smile had been momentarily replaced by a look of utter confusion, her eyes more than a little glazed over when he'd meet them. But..that was all it took. One look at that strange eye and it all clicked. Her mouth opened before sound came out.

"Ohhhhhhhh! Alright, umm...I'll..try..." Wait..how was she even supposed to do this? It had always gone the other way! “Just...tell me what I need to do."

Miahtoux just pointed at the eye. “Just look here, like before. Nowhere else… and don’t look away. It’s going to feel strange on your end. Unlike before… you’ll be very aware of still sitting in this room…” He bit his lip. “I’ve only done this once before… and there is a chance that we might also catch a glimpse of whatever is haunting you… I can… go… first… if you… aren’t sure.” It seemed like the thought of letting Corinne into his head again was concerning, but also that the idea of getting to practice this intrusion into another person’s mind was too good an opportunity to miss.

Corinne gave a slow nod. She wasn't the most keen on letting someone into her head, literally anyway, but if this is what it took...then this is what it took. And, not to mention the chance of more information on her own ailment. What's the worst that could happen? She'd end up a vegetable? Maybe, but...

"I'll be fine. We can do this."

#ffxiv #ffxiv rp #ffxiv mateus #mateus rp #ffxiv screenshots #ffxiv writing #this is a long one #but oh boy here we go #getting into the good shit #aaaaand context

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maneaterwithtail · 3 years ago

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I will give attack of the Clones this, they tried really they did. They recast the much criticize young child. They reduced the presence of the Annoying character. They figured out how to retcon in a mysterious character that was a fan favorite. They included a masterful character actor.

However, there were some problems they ran into just from taking too long. the idea of clones being the stand-in for manufacturer and slavery abuse made perfect sense until dolly was an actual real thing. and by that point clones have been tied into reproductive technology so being anti clone was much closer to being anti in vitro fertilization which was more of the women's rights issue as opposed to tampering in God's domain

Just felt finessed okay in some ways. especially as it meant that they're treating cloning less as this Grande crossover past the threshold but instead unlocking something that they always could do but was forbidden and now they're doing it even though they know it's wrong. gives that sense of creeping corruption that you realize is sort of happening with everyone

Again they needed better direction for actors but in terms of what the dialogue was trying to convey I like the fact that Obi-Wan kind of disliked Palpatine. the only problem was it felt like they couldn't really get into this or that issue. the setting and narrative felt incomplete and just an excuse plot to get people moving around from one adventure to the other. To be fair this is something of a plot point the fact that nobody's taking time in order to really analyze why and where everything's going is how Palpatine leads them through his maze

I just like the fact there's so much Casual Lying to the point where you actually have to re watch and re consider. Lucas is taking real advantage of the fact that the audience knows more than the characters so that that way they can follow a really convoluted plot but have It ultimately makes sense with the occasional scene of us peeking behind the curtain see what the villains are up to

even this is a very deliberate attempt to reduce the boring parts of the phantom menace with the Senate

This is why while better executed the sequel Trilogy always felt more frustrating to me. it very deliberately decided to try to go back to the original trilogy rather than at the very least bring things from it. More than a few have pointed to the expanse

you could have a new threat an old threat or even the same threat just told differently and better

Hell actually have our ST heroes be entirely from the unknown region dealing with the encroaching Colonial ization of the new Republic. And in this case it's a matter of finding synthesis between restoring what's lost and allowing those that have grown up in the shade of the dark ages of the empire with their own autonomy. Something that even the Jedi struggled with

Keep Ben solo. do not redeem him but make it so that Ray is the person who brings Luke over to their side and makes him realize hey we've gone wrong and let ourselves be blinded by dogmatic got to do this one way ism

yes I'm agreeing to vilify Our Heroes as opposed to make them pathetic. Particularly as its of the everyone's sure they are hero of Their Own Story. it's more of an actual Civil War situation. something that Turned out to be the thing that was inside the prequel trilogy that got hijacked by it's all a conspiracy by Palpatine. End in the synthesis with the new and the old allowing for a proper passing of the torch new settings that don't necessarily conform to what we think of as Star Wars so you get your metacommentary but include more than just meta commentary. And with ultimately Luke deciding that he's going to allow everyone to be Jedi or at least Force users sharing their wisdom and only watching for actual Darkness as opposed to adhere to his definition of the light creating a more Universal approach everyone can be United on Common Ground more than under a common Dome of the government avoiding the corruption into the Empire that exists with or without Palpatine

you still keep Smoke and ben to show how just because someone is giving the downtrodden or the objectors power doesn't necessarily mean that they're not doing so with the same authoritarian bent or out of broken cruelty

so why don't I trust taika waititi? because they had their shot in order to deconstruct reconstruct Star Wars and they kind of got mean-spirited and annoying about it. And he, in the specific, sort of took all the gravitas that was building out of Thor in order to make it zany. finally whether it was his fault or not shot on the interesting new status quo afterwards with the two Infinity movies

it seems constant catastrophe in order to Grant profundity to you because we put emotional investment in the status quo especially with long-term property is the only trick that they've got. And they don't care to follow through the implications of that catastrophe so much is bring in meta commentary primarily to win Twitter arguments or to preach their weird progress gospel. Instead of, just say, giving us a female Jedi agent

number one reason I hated Admiral holdo? I knew what they were doing in terms of character comparison with hot shot Cowboy pilot who is male Poe Dameron vs Admiral holdo just seriously look at her

you could practically hear Look Out Boys a lady is in charge in Star Wars -ignoring Mon Montha there was literally the previous movie and the earlier run of this one with General Organo oh you know Princess Leia. Only when she came on screen they very deliberately made sure to reframe her as Field Marshal first with no mention I think of her being a princess on screen and only only slight visual allusions to such

we already have plenty of bad ass females and Star Wars. we didn't need this whole weird gender War to play out just have us have bad ass females in Star Wars

rey having issues because she knows her parents were a bunch of drunken junk herders and she desperately wants them back to give her some validation is a perfectly fine story. don't tease the audience with a special revelation and to be fair parents of nobody was literally the only twist that Star Wars had for the " who the person's parents are" thing.

We did the parents are hero, parents are divine, child is the Antichrist, parents are villains thing already.

they could have easily given us a Star Wars filled with gay characters female characters. And characters who were anti-global ism Without having to destroy what came before. maybe challenge what came before by making the faction of our old heroes or our heroes be part of the problem as part of the solution. But that would actually be taking elements of the complexity that the prequels -however much It fumbled- managed to somehow open the door for in Star Wars and then let it expand to the characters that- let's face it- were much more simpler but very likable.

We can even explain Ray and her goodness with machines as well as her amazing force abilities as being the result of yahoo and the ur being wherr separates of the separatist movement having run to.

unknown regions and done their thing instead of the wreckage there just being Imperial stuff it's Imperial and separatists stuff. Sure we got the desert planet and we got the planet that was turned into a cyborg

but now we are going to have the planet That is the result of a bunch of Gene Engineers getting the f*** with it for decades on end and produce this or that the point where ya much like many prequel detractors or people who hate midichlorians talk about " why don't they just inject the fetuses"

well guess what Rey is the results of those kind of experiments by random we need crap here is a kid give us drugs to try stuff. but it's not as easy as inject midichlorians get super Jedi. They have to like you and more than likely you're going to go crazy or develop -I don't know -mitochondrial cancer something.

this still makes the climax helping Ray reach Luke and comprehend the universe and Luke having to accept change even in light of his own personal failure with his Orthodoxy by ultimately changing things and learning from the failures of the Jedi to adapt

this instantly explains Snoke. he's not Darth Plagueis but he is someone working on the same tech line but at the same time he's got the raw power but f****** look at him! he's made himself a giant who's half deformed and can't live outside of the specifically prepared environment.

this is the twist with Ben. he's inherited a very high-quality of midi-chlorians in addition to the fact that he has refined training from Jedi who have been trying to figure things out. He is after smokes dark way. It would also probably reflects our current social religious prospects where we now know a lot of our beliefs are made up. Or to be generous not given directly from on high but go through development politicization and what have you. but that doesn't necessarily make the practice of them worthless. Or every heretic or challenger Richard dawkins

you even tie in the idea of Ray coming from something dark because the manipulation directly admitted chlorians was always something associated with self with Sith Alchemy and deliberately in this case with Gene engineering and many people look on the Clone Wars as a dark time for the galaxy

Projecting their prior failures on to a lesser group who they're going to "lift up" so that that way they don't have to deal with them.

All this and you don't turn our previous heroes into failures. you turn them into guys who got the chance to be on the upper seat and fell to some of the Temptations of power but the new Heroes either defeat or redeem them. And we also get to see some of the good that they could do. Luke having to distribute the Jedi teachings in a new form to a new sort of people. Leia ultimately having to weaponize the locals and other people so that that way they can make sure that they don't fall under the sway of their own Palpatine. And Han ...actually keep him sacrificing himself to try to save his son.

Just you know make it so that he hasn't returned back to smuggling he's actually been turning back to running the underways in order to track ben down

we hit a lot of the same beats of the previous generation struggling with failure the corruption of the prince of the new generation but also the rise of a new generation Independent of them while drawing from them and becoming their own people.

all of this while progressing from the original well not necessarily trying to reach Reddit all and certainly not spending a lot of time deconstructing it or Star Wars and their fandom

#star wars #revised sequel trilogy #must edit later

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lirulii · 7 years ago

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Onwards AU- Tribe hcs

I’ve started a trend of picking up THM headcanons because they’re nON EXISTENT lmao

or at least from what I hear

This round is for the Onwards AU (post-THM au), with the Tribe of Three being roughly 18-21 here

((I’ll also include William and Kaznim because they’re dear to my heart))

-Ferdie eventually starts going through a small internship on a fashion shop, carrying cloth and measuring people

-Then she starts rising through the ranks, gaining fame for her embroidery on cloth

-And then she likes it

-OH GOD SHE LIKES IT

-She ends up getting an apprenticeship and is soon to buy the business from the current owner, who wants to retire to an Iberian beach already

-She’s a ruthless businesswoman and always ends up with the most ridiculous business deals which work out in her favor,,,somehow

-Ferdie is also the one who makes Tod’s graduation dress, her current work tunic also (Sep also asks to get his tunic made)

-William, when he’s off-time, is still very close and very dear to Ferd and he helps out in the shop

-They still play the string game in StarChaser with all the juiciest gossip

-It’ s not like Ferdie WANTS all the gossip and has an amount of secrets rivaling Sally Mullin’s,,, it’ s a fashion shop. It just happens

-Oskar is still working with Ephaniah as a mechanic, with some medical exp too since Ephaniah has been decreasing of health lately- not enough to be fatal, he’s just getting older

-He subs in as a scribe and is always sneaking Tod in and out of the Ancient Ways or getting to talk to her a little more

-Hairdresser: Ms. Todhunter Moon, what would you like me to help you with?

Tod, deadass serious: an elflock

the SH fandom: nO!!!

Tod: TWO elflocks

-She has them as braids that go around the back of her head- with a blue bead at the start of each braid

-William takes after his pseudo-cousin AND his uncle Nicko and does sailor beads in his hair. Reactions are, being optimistic, mixed

-Ferd leaves her hair long, Oskar ties his up in a ponytail (and maybe a small elflock every once in a while because Tod makes him), and Tod grows her hair out, starting when she was roughly 16

-It’s the first time she grows her hair after her mom’s death

-Kaznim works as the Red City assistant, guiding Septimus around, and is also taking up her mother’s trade

-At some point, most likely directly after StarChaser, Kaznim and Tod realize they’re related! They have some talk after that

-In fact, Kaznim takes her to the Draa campsite when Tod begins traveling for Castle alliances, and it becomes her temporary home for around 3 months.

-Kaznim is still kind of distant to Dandra, eventually gets over it

-Kaznim: TOD!! BAREV!

Tod: Ba-what-now

-Kaznim has to teach Tod Armenian (since it’s implied the Draas come from an area near Armenia or in Armenia proper). Kaznim suffers.

-William has a keen interest, apart from Magyk, in Alchemie. Marcellus is really fond of him and is more than willing to teach him some

-Simon also teaches him some!

-I haven’t tackled it but yes I headcanon William to get an apprenticeship in the wizard tower! Takes after uncle Sep a lot

-Tod leaves a month after her graduation to start the founding of Castle alliances around the world and comes back roughly a year later, in her late nineteens- early 20s

-The sudden separation left a lot of unsolved conflict and tension between Oskar and Tod- and her sudden return makes things between them even more cold and awkward. Ferd spends an uncomfortable 8 months playing messenger and trying to get them to settle down and get things straightened out

-William outcooks his mom, his dad, and his uncle Sep and those are just facts

-Ferdie suddenly starts getting pearl jewelry in her mail starting in her 20s and no one knows where it came from- she never finds out who it’s actually from

-Barney Pot, being some 14 years old when THM starts, also hangs out with Tribe occasionally, with some slight flirting on the side ((s’all for fun though))

-Flirting to whom? All three of course

-Oskar does get that Orm automata done for his graduation project!! It works and the angriest he’s ever gotten at the Ormlet is when it tried to eat his creation of some 6-months

-He’s also fluent in Sign Language, English and Greek- Ephaniah’s ancestor language. You could argue he’s considerably worse at Greek though.

-Lucy often gives Ferdie ribbons in exchange for embroidery lessons.

-The transition from being teacher-apprentice to coworkers is weird for Tod and Sep, as well as for Osk and Ephaniah

-Ferdie: Tod,,,what are feelings,,,im,,,,girls,,,what is love,,,

Tod, local demisexual:,,,,,baby don’t hurt me?? no more???

-I do hc Ferdie as panro! She’s very confused throughout her teens rip

-Ferdie also takes after Lucy and puts ribbons in her hair, and ribbons and flowers in her spring hats. It becomes a running trend, much favored by the Good Queen herself

-The Tribe and Will go ice skating in the winter- all three are complete messes and William has to teach these grown ass adults to balance themselves

-Ferd and Oskar stay in the Heap-Gringe household when they’re in the Castle, and are raised in Alchemie and some basic Magyk. Tod’s happily impressed

-Oskar’s walked out with his magnifying glasses and caused local panic because bUG MAN

-They still take naps together because tHEYRE DORKS (tired dorks), sleepovers are less rare but involve a lot of salt on coworkers. The Tribe also ocassionally goes on ice cream parlor outings in the summer

-After her growing paranoia in the Red City, Tod has a sword made in the Draa camp, naming it Hamasteghut’yun ((Amernian for constellation)). She has an UnSeen on it and practices in private.

-After declining her mother’s offer of her own blade, Kaznim also gets a throwing knife crafted, called Halatsum (persecution)

-Kaznim has an,,interesting adolescence w her family (( that’s another post tho))

-Ferdie is the only one to not have a graduation party ((Tod has her own and Oskar has the Manuscriptorium annual)) so the Heaps throw her this huge ass party when she’s 21 to compensate.

-Tod wears heeled boots to be more intimidating and it KIND OF works,,, Ferdie, on the other hand, can stare down any man at her small height and send them running

-Official heights:

Osk: 5′11″

Will: 6′0″

Kaznim: 5′7″

Tod: 5′2″

Ferdie: 4′11″

-Tod has unexpected encounters with a certain Syrah Syara, who’s personality she’s drawn to. Sep has a very hard time talking to her about Syrah.

-Tod’s dyed honey-blond strands come from her visit to what would then be called France, given to her by the people before an international ball. She sticks with it for much of her life.

-Oskar’s fascination with the Dragon Boat guides him to hang out with Jenna more- who always wanted a younger brother. A nice friendship forms, although he’s still terrified of her, as one rightly should.

-Oskar picks up ukulele and guitar, Ferdie picks up viola and flute. Tod’s good with hand drums and singing, Kaznim with cymbals and Armenian percussion, and Will likes violin and xylophones

-The Sarn twins rent out an apartment when they’re grown in the Castle

-the neon glow-in-the-dark sunglasses was Oskar’s idea. They also have two sets of roller blades and the raddest scooters

-Will owns his own roller blades

-William grows to be the affection of everyone with his uncle’s charisma, his father’s kindness, and his badassery at lacrosse

-Famous/Iconic jewelry:

-Osk: leather bracelet from the draa camp, silver ring with a melting pair of wings (his first attempt at crafting jewelry), multi-purpose bracelet (think an army knife but,,not), cord necklace with painted glass beads and his golden universal Manuscriptorium key. Onyx earring mayb?

-Ferdie: Amethyst-and-silk bracelet ((shared with Tod)), all that pearl jewelry from before changed out into rotations, platinum ring Simon, William, and Lucy gave her, Leather twin chokers with a variety of charms, from a small crochet man to an elegant ruby set

-Tod: her iconic snake ring, ‘Find a way’ ring that she shares with Sep, Amethyst bracelet, leather bracelet from the draa camp, Gold-and-labradorite earrings, star necklace with draa beads as well

-The tribe sneaked out together in their late teens to walk around and admire the night lights. Cats always seem to be accompanying them- it’s a mystery

-All three have middle names: Ferdie’s is Lilliann, Oskar’s Liam, and Tod’s is Diana ((although her Draa family insisted Cassi always wanted a daughter named Seraldi)) They use each other’s middle name when they’re mad pissed

-Tod and Kaznim have two last names- the first from their mother, the second from their father.

-William is by far the most enthusiastic apprentice ever- he’s the happiest cleaning out the pyramid library.

-Out of the entire tribe, Ferdie is the most apt at self-defense, armed and unarmed.

-She’s also real buff she’s bench-pressed Oskar once or twice- and the guy built muscle from carrying heavy items

-In their actual vacation, back in the pathfinder village, they always set Vega out to the Path, tie the boat to one of the white markers and quietly talk until late midnight- pointing out constellations, conversing of the past , and falling asleep until the next day, bright at dawn. Dan and Rosie receive a lot of fish from sleepy, early-morning fishing from all three adults involved.

Expect more I have over three pages and I’m so ready

#todhunter moon #onwards!au #hell yeaaaaaaahhh #next hc list is more kaznim-karamander-darius oriented so watch out bitch!

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personalcoachingcenter · 4 years ago

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Understanding Empowered And United People

New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/understanding-empowered-and-united-people/

Understanding Empowered And United People

Research Paper By Andrijana Ilic (Transformational Coach, SWITZERLAND)

Intro

In the context of the fourth industrial revolution “digitalization”, the way the world is working on VUCA mode (Volatility – Uncertainty – Complexity – Ambiguity) may jeopardize the quality of life of people in our “global village” and can create many questions about the future of humanity. How as coaches can we provide suitable support for individuals to live their lives in another mode which may be: VUCA as Vision, Understanding, Clarity, Agility? This means adopting a more strategic response regarding their current context (1). The idea is to integrate the latest existing knowledge, way of understanding, and opportunities to improve our human intelligence. This not only from a rational point of view in terms of the ability to analyze the situation and to act with performance. Other complementary dimensions can support the individuals to use the highest level of their potential to achieve what they really want no matter the context. Both modern and traditional medicines agree on the fact that stress is the ultimate root of the degradation of health. People tend to be absorbed by their negative aspects of the environment and this frequently maintains chronic stress that limits the expression of human potential. Managing the perception of this negativity becomes an important challenge particularly with the “media mirror” that can easily build a negative vision because the brain will preferentially memorize the negative information due to our innate natural survival programming. The journey to achieve higher fulfillment is not only about telling our mind how useful it is to keep positive thoughts. The challenge is both more complex and simpler at the same time. A systemic approach to the mental and spiritual complexity of human beings should be explored to gain the ability to reach the deepest/higher level of people development, whilst at the same time staying more aware, relaxed (avoiding mental tension), and connected to our inner and outer nature. All of this is oriented towards the goal of feeling a deep satisfaction in ourselves, our life, others, and our universe is the best way we can achieve harmony.

A higher purpose through spirituality

Some scientific perspectives on spirituality

a. « Laic spirituality » and hyper-humanism from a modern scientifical perspective

The French scientist, Joël de Rosnay supports the concept of a “laic spirituality” which is based on Einstein’s point of view that humanity is moving towards a “cosmic religion” linked to UNITY and the harmony of Nature which stems from no specific dogma. There is an “unknown power” that is a kind of global acknowledgment and awareness that exceeds the power of the individual’s reflexive consciousness. He also bases his analyses on epigenetics, which demonstrates that the expression of genes may be different according to the behaviors that people have regarding nutrition, physical exercise, stress management, pleasure in achievements, and harmony with social/family/professional networks. This means that our activities impact our genes, and this shows how we are responsible for what we can become. On an individual level, the idea is to give purpose to our lives by creating our own life and a coach would be an excellent support to achieve this by increasing consciousness. A positive approach means building a balanced approach even when people’s environments are generally not balanced for many reasons. It is the interactions between elements that affect the complex systems that humanity creates. The quantic physic also shows how each individual’s mind can influence reality regarding what is material to the vibratory energy that everybody creates unconsciously or consciously and how everything is linked in all universe (2) (3).

de Rosnay is also inspired by the older French scientist Pierre Teilhard de Chardin who explained how the history of humanity proceeds towards more and more complexity. He believes that each element has a psychic, that with time it elevates, and becomes more complex and more conscious. They use the concept of the “Omega point” which is the point to which all consciousness converges (past, present, and future). Behind this is the idea of transcendence and the convergence that frees the mind from matter. P. Teilhard de Chardin writes: “Everything that goes up converges”. This higher convergence unites people. The development of human collective intelligence more cooperative and related with auxiliary intelligence (artificial intelligence) brings humanity to a new stage and reinforces the unity, the hyper-humanism based on our higher capacities (currently generally inhibited by egoism): empathy, love, sharing, generosity… It is key to detect the positive elements of our world to give people the envy to have envied.

b. The purpose behind the appearance from an esoteric perspective

Antique alchemy is also the research of UNITY. Patrick BURENSTEINAS is one of the ten alchemists of the century and has a background as a physician specialized in high energies. Symbolically the idea of UNITY is related to the Light and the main goal of alchemy is to transform the material into Light (4). “The philosophers’ stone is a legendary alchemical substance capable of turning other metals into gold. This represents a higher idea of “elixir of life useful for rejuvenation and for achieving immortality.” It is the central symbol of the mystical terminology of alchemy, symbolizing perfection at its finest, enlightenment, and heavenly bliss. The effort to discover this is known as the Magnum Opus (“Great Work”) (5). This process helps see the purpose behind appearances, and maybe to enter a parallel world. This is also true for the words that we use (“the bird language”(6)). The higher or deeper consciousness by shaping the mind carries people towards the Light to obtain a higher ability to be rapt to wonder (see the beauty, the positive…) and to dialogue with Nature and themself. A coach is a useful support to achieve the necessary consciousness elevation to get to the “Light”.

In Asian antique culture, for example, the Ying and Yang also represents the idea of UNITY and polarity (everything immaterial of the world cannot exist without its opposite) that is based on opposite (black and white are opposite colors), complementary (an assemblage of the two opposite generates the unity) and inseparable (the black is the white and opposite).

c. Supernatural people from a neuroscience perspective

What can appear as uncommon is related to super consciousness. Joe Dispenza explains in his book “Becoming supernatural” how humans can achieve absolutely exceptional things in their life. Some may be qualified as “miracles” but the latest neuroscience research demonstrates the unexpectedly high abilities of humans. “To guide your inner self to freedom” is key and meditation creates a powerful synergy between the energy of the brain (the spirit) and the energy of the heart (the soul). J. Dispenza says: “Learn to change your brain chemistry to generate transcendental experiences to train the skill of creating a more efficient healthy body, a mind with no boundaries and a key to realms of spirituals truths. It is about stepping outside of our physical reality and heading into a mystical place where humans can evolve their inner self” (7) (8). The coaching process will support people on their way to changing perspective and activate the strong client’s resources.

Spiritual elevation and a religious perspective

a. Connected to the divine through the purpose

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer explains in his book “The shift” (9) how to achieve a deep “letting go” and to connect to the divine.

He underlines two types of approaches in life. One is oriented to the “having” as an ego-oriented life based on oneself and material things. He calls this the “morning” of life which creates non-useful suffering to people. This is due to societies teaching us to be able to accumulate wealth, be ambitious, and fight for success. The second is oriented to the “being” as a life of meaning and purpose based on the satisfaction of our own soul needs. This is the “afternoon” of life that brings the feeling of fulfillment. Experimenting with this life with purpose means feeling deeply the love energy that brings the feeling of happiness. That is a kind of universal love that helps to connect one with UNITY represented by everybody and everything that is a divine connection. Love energy attracts the abundance that people need and it is seen as the opposite of fear energy.

To avoid fear, mindfulness helps people to activate the rational part of the brain and to focus on the present moment. The fears are activated by the limbic brain where the memories (mainly negative for people that suffer) are and based on experience and future projections.

b. Building a life purpose through a religion

In his book “Mental disorders and Spiritual healing: teachings from the Early Christian East” (10), Jean-Claude Larchet shows the way the orthodox fathers understood the psyche and its relationship with body and spirit. They assimilate the health of humans to a state of perfection on which humans are destined (it is in their own nature) and that means to be deified (elevated to God rang). The human owns this perfection from his creation first because of his spiritual abilities, particularly the intelligence as an “imitation of God’s intelligence that gives him the ability to know their creator, and also because of this free will created on the same image like the one of God and that make him be able to orientate all of his being to Him. Finally, the desiring’s and loving’s empowerments are as reproduced features in him of the divine charity that allows him to be united to God.

Spiritual discernment is key to achieve that level and that is considered as the charism that the human receives when he gets to the highest level of the ascetic life (what a person should achieve to benefit effectively of God’s Salvation/Eternal felicity). The higher state of health based on the expression of the natural human perfection is built on three aspects: the impassiveness (defeat all passions to restore all virtues), the charity (love for God and others based on own love build on a spiritual way to feel in the UNITY) and the knowledge (about reach the knowledge of the True that is linked to a higher level of contemplation and humility).

Build the conscious elevation for a meaningful life

Intelligence, self-awareness, and consciousness

Intelligence is the ability to know, to understand how things work, to anticipate or adapt to a situation or an environment. Then, that is naturally based on the awareness of everything.

Self-awareness is the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively through reflection and introspection. That is based on consciousness. This is a distinctive feature of humanity (11).

Consciousness is a form of reflexivity that goes beyond the immediate perception of things. That is as reprocessing of the perceived information. This form of consciousness is linked to the size of the brain and it could be concluded then, it is linked to the level of intelligence.

Consciousness levels and the growth journey to go beyond the purpose

“Bridging the gap between our deficiency needs and our growth needs is the transformation level of consciousness. This is where we begin to release the limiting fear-based beliefs we learned during our formative years and start to align our ego motivations with our soul motivations. …

It is important to understand that when people or groups operate from the first three levels of consciousness, their sense of well-being will always be linked to the gratification of their deficiency needs. Only when they have learned how to satisfy and master these needs are their minds free to focus on the gratification of their transformation and growth needs.

We achieve well-being at the transformation level when we find freedom and autonomy to be who we really are. We achieve well-being in the upper levels of consciousness when we find meaning and purpose to our lives through self-expression; when we feel we can make a difference in the lives of others through connection; and when we can be of service to our family, community, country or the well-being of the Earth through contribution.

To achieve Full-Spectrum well-being, we must learn to satisfy our deficiency needs, our transformation needs, and our growth needs. (12)”

By coaching support, we can support the clients regarding their needs to activate their engagement to elevate their consciousness and connect them with their life purpose. Depending on the development level of the personal, but to go out of a victim mode would be key to help them to act responsibly.

Angela Lee Duckworth (13) has shown how the GRIT is the key to the achievements or success of the people, more than the talent. That represents the high passion and determination for long-term goals that should be explored with the client as a base in the consciousness improvement process. Creating the shift of perspectives in terms of having positives reactions is key regarding the obstacles and failures that happen to maintain a learning dynamism and a strong connection with the long-term goals and the ability to transform dreams into reality.

When we work on the improvement of the relationship consciousness, the reinforcement of emotional intelligence (EI) is helpful. Daniel Dan Goleman in his 1996 book (14) of the same name that EI refers to the ability to know our feelings and manage our emotions, and recognize the feelings of others. “These abilities are vitally important to your success since they determine how well you know yourself, how well you cope with all that happens to you, and how well you deal with others. The more emotionally attuned you are to your feelings and those of people around you, the more appropriately you can respond. Responding empathetically, appropriately, and thoughtfully has important consequences in our relationships and in resolving challenges.”

According to the following results of a recent survey, emotional intelligence become also a key skill that is necessary for workplaces:

We can support the consciousness improvement on the way to understand, to communicate on an adult to adult (transactional analysis) way by using actively more the rational brain instead of the limbic brain that slides us in a reactive behavior based on emotion. The idea is to support the client to respond without judgments and negatives emotions in the different situations of their life (be able also to give positive feed-back, being grateful, know to acknowledge, being able to exceed boundaries constructively). It is also on another dimension a question of being able to act with empathy for others without falling in a persecutor or rescuer or victim way of reacting (Drama triangle of Krapman).

When we work on self-esteem, it would be necessary to make the distinction from self-confidence to be able to support efficiently the growth of self-esteem (15). “ “Esteem” is derived from the Latin estimate, meaning “to appraise, value, rate, weigh, estimate,” and self-esteem is our cognitive and, above all, emotional appraisal of our own worth. More than that, it is the matrix through which we think, feel, and act, and reflects and determines our relation to ourselves, to others, and the world. People with healthy self-esteem do not need to prop themselves up with externals such as income, status, or notoriety, or lean on crutches such as alcohol, drugs, or sex. On the contrary, they treat themselves with respect and take care of their health, community, and environment. (…)”Confidence” comes from the Latin fidere, “to trust.” To be self-confident is to trust in oneself, and, in particular, in one’s ability or aptitude to engage successfully or at least adequately with the world. A self-confident person is ready to rise to new challenges, seize opportunities, deal with difficult situations, and take responsibility if and when things go away. Self-confidence leads to successful experience, so successful experience leads to self-confidence. A coach will support the accountability of the clients regarding their own goals and the actions to achieve. The inner and outer purpose of life of the client would become clearer (16)

Conclusion

The coach will be a strategic partner that will support people to increase their abilities to define and implement the strategies for their necessary evolutions. This development journey requires frequently some transformations. Meditations techniques would be a useful tool also for the inner journey by which the power of the brain will be able to activate what may, in the beginning, looks like impossible.

When coaches support the process of how individuals work deeply on their inner self, their inner purpose, it would be beneficial to avoid the reinforcement of a kind of individualism. The idea is to adopt the right approach to support individuals in their development but at the same time their connection with other individuals and more generally the rest of the universe. Being able to support the quality improvement of the “social link” between people in a meaningful way particularly in the digitalization context and pandemic challenges would serve better the “collective”, the humanity. Ensure that all individuals are deeply and authentically engaged in the new “Purpose-driven organizations” would give another purpose to the business and the economy from a more macroscopic point of view. Then future of the humanity may be seen with a better perspective.

The stakes related to the development of high-quality coaching services that can be offered to the whole of humanity are then obvious from an individual and collective point of view. Is it not the purpose to finally increase the true worth of humanity and to create deep enthusiasm for our future?

Resources

New leadership models for the VUCA world – Thorsten Mannherz – 2017

Joël de Rosnay – Je cherche à comprendre : Les codes cachés de la nature – 2016

Joël de Rosnay – Surfer la vie : comment sur-vivre dans la société fluide – 2012

Patrick Burensteinas – De la Matière à la Lumière – Pierre philosophale, modèle du monde – 2009

Wikipedia’s definition of the Philosopher’s stone: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosopher%27s_stone

La langue des oiseaux – La vie secrète des mots – 2020

Becomingsupernaturel – Joe Dispenza

The Shift: Taking Your Life from Ambition to Meaning – Dr. Wayne W. Dyer – 2010

Mental Disorders & Spiritual Healing: Teachings from the Early Christian Eastern – Jean-Claude Larchet

org

https://www.barrettacademy.com/7-levels-of-consciousness

TED Conference – GRIT: The power of passion and perseverance – Angela Lee Duckworth

Goleman, Daniel: Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ, 2009, Bloomsbury Publishing Plc (electronic publication)

www.bloomsbury.com/danielgoleman

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201510/self-confidence-versus-self-esteem?amp

“A New Earth – Awakening to your Life’s purpose”-Eckhart Tolle

(2005).

Original source: https://coachcampus.com/coach-portfolios/research-papers/andrijana-ilic-empowered-and-united-people/

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ohmytheon · 7 years ago

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Hi I was wondering if you'd consider writing about Roy and Riza finding out that Aidan is studying alchemy in secret.

HIYO I’ve been thinking about this for about 10 years. I started writing it while I was on vacation and it spiraled out of control. There will be more of this. It’s on my mind BIG TIME. And you know me: one post is reaction + one post is confrontation = a full fic. lmao

A Secret’s Worthpart 1

Privacy was an important thing in the Fuhrer’s household. They didn’t get it very often, so it was a big deal whenever they got it. Riza in particular had not been used to the spotlight, so now that she felt like she was always in it, she really cherished those moments when it was just them. She knew that a lack of privacy was a part of the package, but it was still frustrating to deal with. Sometimes, it felt like being with Roy meant no privacy, but she wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Of course, there were some things that had to be kept secret.

The flame alchemy tattoo on her back, for example, was one thing that was never brought up. It was destroyed beyond repair and the key to the alchemy with it, but they could not take any chances. Alchemists were getting more clever with each passing day. Both she and Roy knew that it was more than likely a reality that someone out there was trying to figure out the secrets to flame alchemy just as her father had. No one but Roy knew them. An alchemy like his though was too powerful to pass by. However damaged it was, the tattoo would still help.

Besides, it was just one more twisted part of their history and Riza didn’t want that in the open. She knew that people would take that information and turn it into something to use against Roy. The fact was, their history was complicated and impossible and it was theirs. As far as anyone knew, they had not met until the Ishval War and she wanted to keep it that way. Their past was their own, not the public’s.

Some secrets were good. She wasn’t prone to keeping them, but she knew when they were a necessity. Who had known that Roy keeping his true ties with Madam Christmas would come in handy one day? There were very few secrets inside the Fuhrer’s mansion these days, but there were some.

Riza just hadn’t expected them to come from her own son.

As far as teenagers were concerned, Aidan was not one for lying or keeping secrets. One, he knew that it was almost impossible with him being their son; and two, he’d always had a habit of being very honest. When it came to his emotions, he bit his tongue just as much as anyone, but he didn’t go out of his way to hide things from them. If he was asked about something, generally speaking, he was forthcoming. She knew that when he told her something, he was being truthful. She considered herself very lucky.

Because of this, they never felt the urge to rifle through his things or comb his room. They left his bedroom to himself, giving him the little bit of privacy that they could afford. After all, they didn’t have people rooting around their bedroom. Breda had replaced Havoc for a week after Havoc had rushed in to give important news without knocking, far too humiliated to show his face. Honestly, Riza hadn’t been able to face him either, although Roy had been smug about it.

Riza had been in his room a handful of times, but typically stayed out of it until one morning. Roy had decided to do some work from home, so she stayed there as well. The phone call had been out of the blue, on their personal line, surprising her. Most people would know to call HQ during this time of day.

“Hello?”

“Mom!”

There was a certain panic in her son’s voice that made Riza’s heart jump a little. “Aidan, what is it? Are you okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. It’s just–” Aidan sighed on the other side. “You know that huge research paper that I was working on?”

“Of course.”

“I left it on my desk and it’s due today. I know, I know. So dumb.”

Riza smiled. “And you need someone to bring it to you?”

“Please?”

“I’ll bring it to you during your lunch break.”

“Thanks, Mom, you’re the best.”

It was such an innocent request. A simple thing. Riza didn’t think anything of it. Aidan trusted her to go into his room and get his paper. If he did have anything worth hiding in there, it would be awfully dumb to send his mom in there, even more so to be hiding it in the first place with parents like his. There was very little he could get away with even if he tried.

For the most part, Aidan’s room was clean. It could do with a little more tidying, but it was probably better than most teenage boy’s rooms. Rebecca said that she had to constantly harp on Bran, who was a self-proclaimed “organized disaster”. Riza had almost laughed when she heard him say that. Roy said the same thing. She didn’t believe Roy and she didn’t believe Bran either. Aidan’s rooms had a few books lying about, his bed haphazardly done, and a half drank cup of coffee on his desk, which was covered in things.

Shaking her head, Riza went through the papers and books on his desk. This was a mess and reminded her exactly of Roy when he had been studying alchemy under her father. Along with his alchemy lessons, he had to keep up with his regular studies and the two generally crossed each other. The few times she’d been in the room he was staying in, she’d wondered how he knew where anything was. Aidan was a testament to that.

Just when Riza grabbed the paper, something caught her eye. Something very familiar. Something else that reminded her of Roy when he was Aidan’s age. Pushing the paper and a book aside, Riza gently swept her fingertips across a paper with a hand-drawn alchemy transmutation on it. At its side were notes written unmistakably in her son’s neat print.

Riza’s heart almost stopped beating. Alchemy. Her son. She didn’t know what it was, but she knew someone that would. A part of her wanted to drop a book back over it, put it back in hiding, forget it ever existed – but then, she couldn’t do that with the transmutation tattoo on her back no matter how hard she tried. It would always be there, just like this moment in her memories.

Her son was looking into alchemy – and he hadn’t told her.

Upon further examination, she found more notes, hidden away innocuously in books that had nothing to do with alchemy or at least she didn’t think so. She had a feeling that if she did some more searching, she would actually find alchemy books, but she didn’t want to do anymore looking. She already felt as if she’d found enough. The rest she would want to hear from him, but she didn’t know if she should say anything.

If Aidan wanted to study alchemy, he had every right. Alchemy wasn’t evil in itself. Alchemy wasn’t bad.

She just didn’t know why he’d kept his interest in it a secret.

(Bodies burnt beyond recognition half-buried in rubble and sand. Buildings, homes, churches – destroyed beyond repair. Women and children crying, giant walls blocking their escape from bullets. Blood, blood, so much blood. And the smell of burnt flesh, others and her own.)

She should leave it. She should put it back. She should pretend that she never saw it.

Instead Riza found herself heading towards Roy’s office and knocking on the door before entering.

Roy’s head was bent over his desk, busy at work. Without raising his head, he asked, “Yes?” But Riza didn’t know how to answer. She could still hide the paper behind her back. She could still act like this was nothing. However, by the time he lifted his head to look at her, she hadn’t yet decided, so her face was open and he immediately saw the indecision in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Riza held up the piece of paper. “I was wondering if you knew what this was.”

Roy cocked his head in confusion, but he held out his hand so that he could take the paper from her. The confusion faded away quickly as soon as his eyes landed on the notes, replaced by recognition, only to jump right back. His brow furrowed deeply and he moved forward as if getting closer might help him understand more. She could see him coming to the same conclusions as her.

“This is…” He didn’t seem to know what to think.

“I know.”

Roy brought his gaze back to her. “This is not a simple array. This is some fairly complex stuff.” He leaned back in his seat, but didn’t take his hand away from the paper. “He didn’t just start working on this.”

“How long, do you think?” Riza asked.

“If I had to guess…” Roy sighed and pushed his glasses up slightly so that he could pinch the bridge of his nose in thought. “Two, maybe a little under three years? He doesn’t have anyone teaching him like I did, so he’s figuring things out at a slower rate on his own.”

“How do we know he doesn’t?”

“We’d know.” Roy stated it with such surety, but now Riza didn’t know.

Aidan was not the type of person to lie, but then he had never brought up an interest in alchemy. He’d kept it from them and not for just a few days or weeks. Years – he’d hidden all of this for years and they’d never even know. This had blindsided her. How could she have not seen this? How could she have not known? How had he managed to keep this to himself for so long? Who else knew? Bran? Ally? Anyone? How? Why? He’d never lied to her like this ever before. Why hadn’t he wanted to tell her?

It wasn’t a bad thing. Alchemy wasn’t a bad thing, she kept telling herself, and he didn’t have to tell them about all of his interests. So why did she feel hurt?

“But I can’t imagine that he’s learned all of this on his own,” Roy continued, his focus back on the array. “Alchemy is best learned when you have someone to…bounce your ideas off of.” He sat upright again and picked up the paper, as if it might tell him all the answers. “He does call Fullmetal’s house fairly often.”

Riza’s heart jumped. “You don’t think…” She bit her lip. “Edward would tell us if Aidan was interested in alchemy, don’t you think?”

“Maybe, but if Aidan specifically asked him not to…” Roy set the paper down and looked up at her. “His oldest girl, on the other hand, Sara – he’s told me that she’s into alchemy and she would keep it a secret if she knew.” He tapped the array with his fingertip and nodded his head shortly. “Two bright kids their age working on alchemy together – both Fullmetal and I did the same damn thing.”

It made sense. Aidan had been close with Sara for many years. He’d even taken her to one of his school dances when she was visiting since she’d never gone to one before. They were good friends. Both of them loved reading and very much into their academic studies. Despite not being able to see each other often, their friendship never seemed to suffer. And because of her distance, she would be an easy source to confide in concerning alchemy, especially since she was the daughter of the famed Fullmetal Alchemist.

“How didn’t I know?” Riza asked herself aloud. “How did I not see this coming?”

Roy’s lips twisted. “Well, Aidan has never expressed an outright interest in alchemy…”

“Did you know?” Riza questioned him.

Her husband, vague as ever, shrugged his shoulders. “I had a hunch that perhaps… The day we made up after that fight, he made a comment about equivalent exchange. At the time, I thought he was just trying to connect with me to apologize, but then…” Roy frowned, almost like he was pouting. “I kind of hoped that he would ask me about alchemy if he was interested.”

“When Aidan was little, he was so fixated on your ignition gloves,” Riza pointed out. Now that she was thinking about it, she could recall so many moments when Aidan brought it up. It was always out of nowhere. They would see Roy one day – back when he was “Not Dad” – and Aidan would mention Roy’s gloves so innocuously. Roy wasn’t wearing them that day or he was and Aidan would be excited. “And when he saw my tattoo when he was little, he made the connection to your gloves. I can’t lie: I’d hoped he’d forgotten that.”

Roy finally lifted his eyes to her. “Do you think he could feel our shame and kept it to himself, thinking we might disapprove of him learning alchemy?”

“I don’t know,” Riza admitted. “Maybe. He’s always seemed…”

“Ambivalent about it,” Roy finished for her, “like he doesn’t care.”

“Exactly,” Riza agreed. It was a like pieces of a puzzle falling into place. “But he loved your flame alchemy when he was little. He still admires it.”

“He’s also smart enough to read about the history of the Ishval War and know what it means,” Roy added. He slumped in his seat, throwing his head back and closing his eyes, and let out a groan. She still thought he didn’t look his age, but in this moment, he seemed incredibly worn down. “How many kids in Amestris had to learn secondhand that their parents committed genocide using something they admired? He probably feels conflicted about his interest in alchemy.”

Being reminded of her time there still stung. Not as much as it used to, but in a different way. She would never be over it – the Ishval War had shaped the second half of her life – but it was hard for her to accept that it had also had a large impact on her son’s life as well despite it happening over a decade before he was born.

“So what do we do?” Riza asked. “Do we talk to him about this? Should we wait for him to bring it up?”

“He kept this us for a reason,” Roy pointed out. “I’d like to know why.”

Riza shook her head. “This is not going to end well and you know it.”

“Why is it when alchemy is involved, it never does?” Roy pondered. She didn’t want to say it out loud, but she had been wondering the same thing. She just wanted her son to be happy. So why did this bother her? One thing was for certain: it was going to be an uncomfortable ride.

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