#maybe bruce should get on that one
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screamting · 7 months ago
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another fic prompt
Batman has to use nail polish for something, like painting, writing, or simply covering something with color, and he's in a public space. People are looking. Someone whispers, "Batman uses nail polish? The fuck, I thought you were a guy????", with derision and disgust. You can choose how Bruce reacts to that when a small boy with painted nails is standing right next to them and looking hurt.
It is not, in fact, his nail polish, but the two youths hiding outside a mildly shot-up building waiting for the ambulance to arrive needed some sort of distraction, and in the dark and while looking for injuries, painted nails had set off the same sort of alarm as heavy bruising to the nail bed before he'd gotten a clearer look.
The girl still had the blue nail polish bottle in her pocket. So they are playing with nail polish when the police arrive, likely drawn to the minor explosions. Unfortunate. Bruce prefers the ambulance drivers.
There is some immediate guffaw when they come close enough to see the little bottle and brush in Batman's gauntlet, reapplying a layer to the girl's chipped nails.
"Get a load of this. Batman's playing little girl."
They are not, technically, jeering. It's said like sarcastic indulgence. Very 'oh no, I could never,' style denial.
The smaller of the youths, a boy who has just had his nails painted blue for the first time and was holding his nails carefully apart to let them dry, begins to shrink in on himself. His sister scowls but just moves slightly to block the line of sight, though that won't work long.
Bruce caps the bottle and sets it on the ground. He doesn't believe he'll be identified by hand similarities but he'll have to clean it up with acetone later and get a fuller manicure for his next public appearance.
He pulls off one gauntlet and waits, patiently, for the ambulance to arrive, and for one of the youths to pick up the bottle and shakily paint his nails.
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dukeofthomas · 10 months ago
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Here's my controversial opinion; if you're trying to write Bruce as a non-abusive, good parent, you should also write him respecting his kids' privacy, boundaries, and not stalking&surveying them.
#my dc posting#dc#batfamily#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#looking thru ur kids phone tracking them giving them no privacy etc etc is deeply damaging#but yall aint ready for the ''stalking is their love language' is super toxic' conversation </3#also can we retire the JL being completely chill about it. 'batman just knows things' not being bothered their secret identities were found#out etc can we. stop coddling the batfam#i just need someone anytime to please just call them out like 'hey dont fucking surveil me' like that is actually extremely unethical#and its frankly not hard to write a batman who doesnt invade his kids privacy n boundaries etc#controversially when reading fic where theyre supposed to be healthy n getting along i want to actually feel like its deserved n good for t#hem#instead of sitting there going 'woo thats toxic' 'oh that even worse' 'why are we passing over all that'. like i dont wanna be thinkin they#should go no-contact when its supposed to be fuffy n good :(#like if you can write away the hitting n other abuse why is this the one thing that just must always stay#like genuinely it aint hard to write a parent not stalking their children. actually maybe i should remind you all that stalking is not good#or funny#like i feel like w all the joking some of us are actually forgetting its not good. ever. like absolutely never dont stalk ppl#eh idk. this is why i cant stay in any one fandom too long bc i start developing Opinions which inevitably make me hostile to like#90% of the fandom's content 😔
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superbat-lmao · 3 months ago
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Pt. 2 of this (back by popular demand).
When Jason wakes the following morning he feels gross. His face is tacky and he’s smushed in an uncomfortable position where he feels like he’s rolled to the edge of his bed.
When he blinks up at Bruce, the events of the day before come crashing back with alarming clarity. He goes rigid and Bruce immediately opens his eyes to check on him, pulling back slightly to give him space.
And that makes Jason’s chest hurt. Because everything that had made him uncomfortable Bruce had fixed. Because Jason had been telling Bruce what he didn’t like about him the whole time.
Jason had started to like Batman. He’d gotten dry reports about life in the alley from the guy but he’d also gotten questions about what more could be done to help out alley kids. He’d taken all of Jason’s brash criticism and actually tried to fix things. Jason had started to really like the guy.
And to now be faced with the fact that it was Bruce, the guy who read like, an actual newspaper in the morning and asked about his interests like he was having teeth pulled, it still couldn’t quite compute.
Bruce couldn’t seem to figure out if Jason was comfortable on the cot, so Jason solved his problem for him by tucking his face back into his shoulder. He knew they would have to talk about it. How Jason had been kidnapped and watched his- watched Bruce get shot and then cried about it. But that conversation was going to be exhausting, and his body wasn’t sending him into a panic being this close to Bruce, so he was going to enjoy it while it lasted.
Bruce seemed to get the message and started running his fingers through Jason’s hair again.
When Alfred came down with breakfast for the both of them, Jason knew his time was up. That they’d have to talk about it all. He wasn’t sure what they would do now that he knew, send him away? Or no, they’d need to make sure he never told anyone. Never let him leave?
Before Jason could spin out too badly, Bruce started explaining how he’d wanted to protect Jason by not telling him about his nightlife. How it was a dangerous secret to know since it could put people in danger.
Jason scoffed at that since he’d been abducted for his connections to Bruce Wayne, like that was any safer.
Bruce paled pretty quick at that but had that look on his face that said he was determined to get through this. Jason wondered which he actually preferred more, conversations or going to the dentist.
But Bruce continued to explain that he’d had concerns over Jason’s ability to trust adults and was entirely out of his depth on how to begin to repair that trust. That he thought Jason needed someone to talk to that would try and resolve his problems. And Batman could do what Bruce couldn’t. He had been scared Jason would run if he couldn’t convince him it would be safe, and that scared Bruce most of all.
And Jason had to acknowledge that Bruce wasn’t entirely wrong. He probably would have run if Batman hadn’t been checking up on him, at least in the beginning. Because Bruce didn’t make any sense. He wasn’t like any of the other adults Jason knew. His body wouldn’t calm down even if he knew he was safe, and he probably would have run from that feeling.
Most importantly, Bruce apologizes. For keeping secrets and also for getting shot in front of him in a “sorry you had to see that” sort of way.
And yeah, Jason could’ve done without watching the guy that’s almost his Dad get shot in front of him, but it wasn’t really anyone’s fault.
And Jason, like a dork, apologizes for crying on him and not being able to handle it.
That makes Bruce’s face do something complicated that Jason had a hard time reading.
Bruce tells him that it isn’t actually normal to not react to someone being shot in front of you. Especially for a child, crying is a very normal response and nothing to be ashamed of.
Jason comes to an odd realization that he isn’t the first kid to know Bruce’s identity. He remembers talk in the alley of Robin, the flashy distraction to Batman’s silent stalker approach.
He asks Bruce if Robin was Dick Grayson, his ward. The supposed “brother” he had yet to meet. He wasn’t sure what Bruce was waiting for there, but he supposed if the man wasn’t even sure if Jason actually wanted to stay that it would be fair that he was cautious about introducing him to everyone.
Bruce’s face shuts down almost entirely at the mention of Dick. He seems to catch himself pretty quick though and picks a spot over Jason’s shoulder as he starts to explain the last time he talked to Dick outside of mask business. How scared he had been his- his ward would be hurt. How he’d fired him from being Robin. How he’d gone off to Bludhaven to be Nightwing. That Bruce hadn’t seen him since he left.
Jason takes in as much of it as he can. He can’t quite process what it would mean to be a vigilante, to be Robin. He still feels dazed from yesterday and the environment of the cave is strange and foreign.
He asks what the plans for the day are and Bruce huffs. Says that he’s on strict orders from Alfred for bed rest. That there will be conversations, a debrief, about what had happened, but that can wait a few days. They will also have to talk about formalizing Jason’s living situation here and registering him for school. All sorts of things, if Jason would like to stay.
And Jason does.
Later, Alfred comes in to re-wrap Bruce’s bandages and move him upstairs. Jason hovers awkwardly, wanting to help but not knowing what to do. Alfred gently directs him in helping get Bruce back to the living room. He says they can move him to his bedroom later but it’ll be easier on his mobility if he stays on the first floor for a while.
Alfred also informs them he had taken the liberty to inform Dick, Barbara, and Clark of the incident, so there will be patrol while Bruce’s shoulder is healing. Bruce goes rigid at this information.
Alfred asks if Jason will accompany him to the kitchen and help carry out their lunch.
When they’re alone, Alfred apologizes for keeping their identities from Jason, and how happy he is the boy is safe. He’d been so concerned yesterday at the car but hadn’t had time to do more than bug the vehicle.
They talk for a bit about identities and Jason accepts that it was kept from him, but now that he knows, he’ll stay in the loop.
Alfred also asks if he wouldn’t mind helping keep an eye on Bruce and make sure he doesn’t try and sneak back down to the cave without medical clearance. If he’d be alright to watch a movie in the living room with him, or a board game maybe.
Jason recognizes the ploy for what it is and plays along, grateful he doesn’t have to go worry by himself in his room or in the library.
When they bring the food out to the living room, Alfred shows Jason their selection of movies and makes sure they’re settled in before going off to take care of dishes.
Jason and Bruce start out sitting on opposite ends of the couch, but by the end of the second movie, Jason is stretched out in a way where they’re almost touching, a pile of pillows separating them.
Jason falls asleep during the third movie.
Dick arrives at the manor halfway through the fourth.
Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5 (sold separately)
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covertblizzard · 1 year ago
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jaykyle au where they're theatre kids in the same school but they're not the actors jason's the scriptwriter/director and kyle is the prop manager (i don't know the official terms sorry) and they'd probably do an amazing job on the backstage setting if they could stop arguing for 5 whole seconds about their artistic visions and ideas and how "this would obviously work better this way"
#jason todd#kyle rayner#jaykyle#mypost#dc thoughts#vp of the club: maybe we should find some other people to do the job if they can't get along?#pres of the club: no they're both talented af and i want this to be raving success just knock their heads tgt and tell them to play nice or#i'll make them wear the get along shirt again#WAIT ONE SEC DONNA'S THE PRES and overseer she's pissed bcos kyle played the same role last year and he was chill then#wally's vp no 1 and backstage manager and he's thinking of kicking kyle out#dick's vp no 2 and main lead and he's thinking of kicking jason out bcos it's embarrassing and annoying to work with your younger siblings#kon helps kyle with props and bart is one of the actors and kon is jealous af about it he grumbles a little#roy is the fight scene choreographer#i'm trying to think of something for garth but the only thing that comes to mind i'm not sure are fitting enough#actor manager? weapon manager? oooh maybe pet manager if they have animals... human and pet manager???? hr department but including animals#ooooh maybe pet manager if they have animals#raven can play bart's love interest (in play) maybe (wally doesn't like it and neither does gar for very different reasons)#eddie deals with the contraptions they build for this bubble machines smoke machines lowering and raising anything mechanical#rose and cass helps with the weapons stuff they keep fighting too and roy is TIRED#connor plays the villain he didn't mean to or want to but he got dragged into it and he's really hot and gunned in for next years main lead#he doesnt want this#steph and mia are hair makeup costume department but bart and kon love to hangout and help too#jennie-lynn and bart are in-charge of socials#tim pops up a lot because so many of his friends (and brothers) are here and when he does he helps steph and mia#damian too pops up to help with pet management and sometimes prop art#this is much to dicks annoyance jason is already here can his little brothers LEAVE HIM ALONE SOMETIMES UGH#damian (taking cues from talia and bruce loverenemies dynamic and wanting an artist in-law): we should set jason and kyle up#dick: no / tim: hmm / dick: NO#i want to add the yj girls (cassie cissie greta anita) but i know too little about them right now but imagine they're there and the roles#are to be determined
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science-lings · 3 months ago
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*in the event of a non-traumatic absence of Bruce. he goes on vacation, he just didn't want to go to the Justice League meeting, SILLY VIBES ONLY
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violent138 · 1 year ago
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Batman's ships with his various Rogues are very interesting to think about (lots of quality material there for both character analysis and just fun) but simultaneously you have to grapple with (or ignore) the canon abuse/murder/kidnapping/torture/trauma some of the Rogues have wrought upon Bruce's family. I'm starting to really get into BruHarvey (for so many great reasons), but holy hell in canon Harvey was once the killer of Jason's dad, and definitely beat the shit out of Dick (amongst other things).
Still a great ship though.
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jackalsraised · 1 year ago
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Bruce and Cassie + •-•
Bonus w Arthur
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candy-ac3 · 1 year ago
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Should have the first chapter of this Adam and the batfam crossover shit done either today or tommorow yippie!
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doerot · 2 years ago
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Do we have a specific time of year when utrh takes place? Because I tend to like to think that it happens around the anniversary of Jason's death, meaning that it coincides very closely with Jason's birthday, which, to extend the thought exercise, practically overlaps with Stephanie's birthday. A friend of mine reminded me yesterday about a tidbit I never think about very much, how the end of war games is right before utrh. All this is to say: Imagine a father holding his dead kid in his arms days before he even reaches 16, and then two years later he holds the hand of a girl—one that he was supposed to protect, because if she was going to force herself onto the field, then he was damn sure going to stop what happened to his son from happening again—before she passes away, never reaching 17.
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notmoreflippingelves · 1 month ago
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Batman-Bingo (Pre-Crisis Edition)
So I have been trying to fill in some of the "gaps" in my Batman fandom exploration and have therefore recently read a pretty massive chunk of older Batman comics in a very short time. As a result of a conversation with a fandom friend, I decided to make a "Bingo" game of Pre-Crisis ((1939-1985) Bat plots and tropes shenanigans that were particularly common (and absolutely insane) during this era.
This list is primarily oriented around the Silver Age (partly due to personal preference and partly due to just how delightfully wild it is) but I have also made an effort to include some specific allusions to Golden and Bronze Age specifically--as well as several that encompass multiple eras.
I invite you to choose a card and a random Batman story from the Pre-Crisis era (I was primarily reading the Bat stories from Detective Comics, Batman, and World's Finest) and see how many you can find. You are also encouraged to use this as a "scavenger hunt" with multiple stories or as a fic prompt challenge. However, I do recommend that if you want to make this into a "drinking game", you either choose a non-alcoholic beverage or limit yourself to no more than 3 stories. (Otherwise, well...you'll be as green as Batman's skin in "The Mummy Crime Fighters").
There are four distinct "card" combos, as well as the call sheet/answer key below which shows every option. You can also play a game "virtually" if you go to this link. Or if you want to download the cards/answers as a PDF (easier to read) or generate different /more than 4 card variations, you can do so here.
And now... "Quick, Robin--to the bingo hall!"
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And now for the answers...
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#batman#bruce wayne#silver age dc#pre crisis#dc comics#dcu#batfam#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth#you will not believe how common some of these are#especially the robots; time travel and face masks#it's telling that my beloved adam west show is positively SUBTLE compared to the nonsense of the comics coming out at the same time#the thing about pre-crisis is that the most insane thing will happen in a story no one ever talks about#b/c the bad guy is some generic mobster you've never heard of and will never see again#or the story is largely forgettable except for one absolutely batsh*t (pun intended) thing that is thrown in#so it gets less attention than something with a classic rogue that is still popular or that gets referenced/remade in modern canon#not to mention there's a fair bit that rarely/never gets reprinted or anthologized#Pre-Crisis Bruce Wayne invented 'gaslight; gatekeep; girlboss' tho#'batman gaslights an average of 5000 people a day.'#'false (modern) Batman gaslights an average of 15 people a day.'#'Silver Age Georg who lives in a Batcave under Stately Wayne Manor#'and has gaslit all of Gotham and half of Metropolis in the time it took you to read this sentence'#'is an outlier adn should not have been counted.'#am thinking of maybe doing other bingos tbh; maybe an elseworlds/imaginary stories variant#would probably have to be Elseworlds for the whole JL tho since not sure I could think of enough unique for Batman specifically#and therefore I would naturally have to read more non-Bat comics
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mikeluciraphgabe · 3 months ago
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The Batkids have the same twenty dollar bill that has been going around for like 16 years straight or something - beginning with Jason and Dick
The story goes:
Jason, 12: I bet you $20 that I can make Bruce cry without saying a word
Dick: Deal.
Jason: *walks up to Bruce and hugs with love in his eyes*
Bruce: *violently sobbing and picking Jason up*
Dick: *angrily walks by and slyly hands Jason a 20*
A few weeks later it’s
Dick, on a skyscraper looking down at a different one: I bet $20 that I can make this landing
(Info: this genuinely should not be possible for Plot Reasons)
Jason: okay but if you die I get to keep it
Dick: *jumps and lands it*
Jason: *sadly climbs back down to the street and hands a proud Dick the SAME $20 he earned not too long ago*
—-
This goes on between them for years - up until you know what
—-
Dick, out of habit: I bet you $20 you can’t do six front flips in a row
Tim, new and eager to please: watch me bitch
Tim: *does it perfectly - maybe with a tad bit of a waver but still*
Dick:
Dick, crying hysterically for many reasons: *hands the faithful $20 over*
—-
(For plot reasons Tim never spends it for X reason)
Steph: I bet you $20 I can make that guy over there ask for my number
Tim: okay
Steph: *comes back over after successfully getting him to ask*
Tim: *handing over the 20*
Cass:
Steph: oh you’re fucking on
Cass:
Steph: DAMNIT *hands $20 over*
—-
Cass:
Damian: -tt- yes obviously I can. I shall take on the bet
Damian: *wins*
Cass: >:(
—-
Damian: Thomas, I will give you a 20 dollar if you can scare Father
Duke: Hell yeah
Duke: *goes on a quest for a few days before he genuinely scares the crap out of Bruce*
Duke: GIVE ME THE $20 HOE
By now, it’s a very big inside joke between the bats
It’s Dicks turn with the $20 when it happens like the first day
Jason: hey I bet I can make Bruce cry
Dick: oh please he hasn’t since 2013
Jason: Watch me
Jason: *walks up to Bruce, says a few words, hugs him tightly, walks back over to Dick*
Jason: Wait for it…
Bruce: *wonders off and a few moments later - you hear crying*
Dick: *passes a very wrinkly and used $20*
Jason: what the hell is this? The routing number has been out of rotation for years
Dick: oh it’s the same one that we used back when we made stupid bets - it’s been around the family
Jason:
Jason: *definitely not crying*
—-
Anyway; the reason I made this post was cuz of this headcanon
The bat siblings might have a $20 bill but there’s a 75% chance they won’t give it to you because “oh it’s not spending money”
“(Bat) YOU’RE A MULTIBILLIONAIRE”
“I know but this one is special-“
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daisybell-on-a-carousel · 4 months ago
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During the Under the Red Hood comic, there's a scene where Red Hood is fighting Black Mask, and proceeds to get killed by Black Mask. The helmet exploding when Black Mask removes it
As it turns out, that was a fake Red Hood. Jason had put him in the costume and had been speaking remotely through the helmet.
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thebibliosphere · 14 days ago
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Do you think Bruce Wayne would flirt with Benoit Blanc?
I think if Bruce ever found himself in a situation to meet Benoit Blanc, to his great chagrin, it’d be as Brucie Wayne. He’d be on some rich fuck’s island under cover when a murder happens and it’d be killing him that he can’t break cover to get a closer look at the body. And then along comes Benoit Blanc and Bruce decides, well he’s Brucie right now, it’d be weird if he didn’t flirt a little.
And hey, who knows, if Blanc likes him maybe he’ll let Bruce tag along and get into places Brucie wouldn’t normally be if he wasn’t trying to seduce this weirdly accented, tall glass of deductive skills. (And maybe he’s enjoying it a little more than he should, but technically he’s on vacation so…)
Blanc, of course, catches on and thinks Bruce has something to hide and is keeping him close because he thinks he’s either the killer or in on it.
Except that’s not what the evidence or instincts are actually telling him. Not really.
But he also can’t ignore the fact that Bruce managed to trip and fall directly into the filing cabinet in the office, causing the drawer to fly open and reveal the evidence Blanc’s looking for. Or that the billionaire has a slightly delayed reaction to seeing blood. Not much, but enough for Blanc to notice.
There’s also the way he keeps making suggestions that on the surface seem benign, but are nevertheless intended to lead Blanc toward where his own instincts are telling him to look. So either Brucie is one of those killers who likes to be involved in the investigation because they want to make sure you’re noticing their ‘genius’ or because they think they can control the narrative by being helpful, or…
“Y’know something, Mister Wayne…”
“Benoit, please,” Bruce says with a slow, seductive smile that unfurls like silk over rich velvet. “How many times do I have to ask? Call me Bruce.”
“… Bruce. You’ve been so remarkably helpful.”
“Oh, you know me. I always aim to please.”
Bruce’s smile takes on an electric edge that makes Benoit’s thumb slide to the gold wedding band on his ring finger. He’s a married man, he’s a married man…
“I can’t help but wonder, though,” Benoit says, matching Bruce’s smile for a knowing one of his own. “Don’t you get tired?”
His tone is off, he knows it is because Bruce’s expression doesn’t flicker, not even a jot. It’s just unnatural enough to be telling.
“Tired of what?” the younger man asks, just the right amount of cheerful confusion in his voice and an adorable title of his head like a puppy to make you miss the sharpness behind his eyes. The way his body is coiling tight. Ready for a fight.
“Of pretending,” Benoit says, lifting a cigar to his mouth, making a show of patting down his pockets for the lighter. “I know I surely do. It grates on a man, always being underestimated. Everyone thinking you’re not as sharp as you are. Not as clever, not as quick. It must be a relief, I think, to finally be seen…”
The hand that had been rummaging in his pocket shoots out, aiming for Bruce’s perfect face. Bruce deflects it, twisting Benoit’s hand in a viper-like move Benoit hasn’t seen since…
“Ra’s doesn’t train just anyone,” he says, acutely aware of how much Bruce’s expression has changed without so much of a flicker of muscle. How sharp and hard the angles of his face have become. How deadly. “I confess, I didn’t see it at first. You’re very good, Bruce. I never would have put two and two together if you hadn’t twisted Haggart’s elbow the way you did when he tried to grab Maxine.” He smiles self-deprecatingly. “Take that as a compliment from one detective to another… Batman.”
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prlssprfctn · 3 months ago
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Jason, being a semi-canonic common hallucination in the family after his death, could lead to the stupidest AU ever.
Imagine everyone seeing him — Bruce, half of the time, Dick non-stop, Tim more often than not, and eventually even Alfred starts seeing little boy's silhouette in the corner of his eye, but he never admits it, because someone needs to stay sane in this family.
It is a lot like real-life cases when cult families start to see collective hallucination, and it somehow syncronises in their minds, so they hear and see the same things, you know?
So, yeah, everyone sees Jaybin around.
Everyone but Damian. Damian is a normal one. He also knows his Akhi is alive and well, so whatever. And it takes him some time to figure out that his family is bat-shit insane, but when he does, he decides to use it on his advantage.
Damian, calling Jason: Akhi, you should visit me. It is getting awfully boring here.
Jason, frowning: You know I can't. They think I am dead, and I can't risk my plan, especially now, when Red Hood is gaining-
Damian: We will pretend you are a hallucination.
Jason: ...What?
Damian: So, there is a plan...
So, a few days after this call, Jason arrives at the Wayne Manor. He still thinks his brother's plan sucks, but gaslighting is one of his many talents, so surely, they will figure something out. He can lie his way through this meeting.
Expect, he doesn't even need to lie. His family is actually insane.
Bruce, bumping in Jason:
Jason, staring back: Uh-
Bruce: Wow. You look so grown-up. And we look so alike. Nice one, brain.
Jason: ?..
Tim, leaving his room: Hi, B, hi- Oh, damn. Hi, Jaybin. Nice leather jacket.
Bruce: Right? I guess his ghost just grows up with us now.
Jason: ????
Alfred, nodding along, out of nowhere: Master Dick will hate it. He looks taller now.
All of them: (peacefully leave the room)
Jason: What. The. Fuck.
Jason waits for the moment of clarity to happen as he chats with Damian in the kitchen, but... nothing changes. They really, really think he is a hallucination. So... he starts hanging out around more. Both because Damian is getting angsty, and because it is kinda... amusing.
Tim, stuck on the same case for a few nights, non-stop: Oh, it is really just me and you in this, Jason.
Jason, playing Mario Cart on the table by his side: Maybe take a nap, dude.
Tim: No, I need to figure out this case with-
Jason, rolling his eyes: Red Hood had already dealt with it. Go to sleep.
Tim: ...You are such a good self-care kind of hallucination.
Jason: ...
Damian: Your bets, when will they realise that you are a real person?
Jason: At this point, I am not sure that they will, even if I start screaming that I am real.
Damian: Fair. I bet a year would do.
Jason: ...A year and a half.
Dick visits the Manor. He cooes at Jason, muttering something about "of course, he would have grown up in a punk," and Jason almost breaks his role to hit him on the head.
Jason, arms folded on his chest: You know, you need serious help, dad.
Bruce, blinking at him slowly: Probably. You know what else I need?
Jason: Sleep? Retirement? To stop adopting strays? The list is endless, man.
Bruce: ...Coffee. I need more coffee.
Jason, groaning: What the fuck!!!
Alfred figures out that Jason is real, eventually. Solely because he catches him sneaking a few extra cookies, and hallucinations are not supposed to eat. He plays along with him and Damian until the very end, anyway.
(Damian ends up winning the bet because Jason loses it once and pushes Bruce down the stairs, when he starts reciting some precautionary tale about him. Everyone is flabbergasted.)
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sweetteaanddragons · 9 months ago
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I have been thinking lately about a universe where Bruce Wayne killed the Joker.
I want to be clear here, since there are so many longstanding debates on this topic: I do not think Bruce Wayne should kill the Joker. I have just been wondering what would happen if the circumstances aligned in such a way that he did.
And to be clear on a related, yet slightly different topic: when I say I have been wondering about what if Bruce Wayne killed the Joker, I do not mean as the Batman. I mean Bruce "Brucie" Wayne.
Maybe it's kind of an accident? Like, he definitely did intend to hit the Joker, but he's Brucie right now, so he's trying not to look like he knows what he's doing while still doing enough damage to keep the Joker from killing someone, and meanwhile the Joker makes just the wrong move and -
And here we are. Brucie just killed the Joker.
Bruce's reaction here is one thing; he has his one rule for a reason, he's just broken it, he's determined to turn himself in -
His family's reaction is a whole different story. How does Cass feel about this?
How does Jason? Bruce has killed the Joker, just like he wanted, but it wasn't for him, not really, and -
And meanwhile, this happens in front of, say, a gala full of people, so now all of Gotham gets to react to it too.
Average Gothamite, seeing the words BRUCE WAYNE, JOKER, and KILLED in the same headline: OH, NO.
Average Gothamite, once they've processed the order those words are actually in: . . . I did not have that on this year's bingo card.
The city's most famous mass murderer has just been publicly killed by the city's biggest employer/philanthropist/source of tabloid harmless nonsense! Three days before Brucie was making tabloid headlines by tripping into a fountain and somehow losing his shirt in the process! Two weeks before, the newspaper was running a retrospective on the Wayne murders and what donation Brucie was making to help the families of victims this year! The article mentioned how one of his adopted sons had also tragically become a murder victim!
Now this has happened, and Bruce is having a breakdown over breaking his one rule, and the rest of Gotham just assumes that this is because poor Brucie thinks this somehow makes him like the man who killed his parents. They send a huge outpouring of support his way. This in no way helps Bruce's actual breakdown.
Ninety percent of Gotham is sure Brucie didn't actually mean to kill the Joker, and pretty much a hundred percent of them support him whether he meant to do it or not. No one wants to have anything to do with prosecuting this mess. Bruce is trying to make it as clear as possible that he will fully cooperate with the justice system and meanwhile an entire gala full of people is suddenly acting like they could in no way have possibly witnessed events that took place ten feet in front of their faces. Did Bruce kill the Joker? Is the officer sure? That doesn't seem like him. Maybe the Joker just tripped on his own. Marble floors, you know. Very slippery.
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yandere-writer-momo · 4 months ago
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My take on the neglected spouse trope, but with a little spice. Short and to the point
Yandere Batman Shorts: Adorned In Pearls
Yandere Bruce Wayne x Neglected Wife Fem Reader x Yandere Batboys (platonic)
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Tw: obsession, unhealthy relationship dynamic, power imbalance, time rewind, imprisonment (implied), death (beginning), and themes that should not be romanticized
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“Put the jewels in the bag!” (Your name) didn’t even flinch when the intruder crudely held up his gun to her while she was in the kitchen. It seems her end was finally near at last. “Did you hear me?! Put your jewels in the bag!”
(Your name) calmly turned off the stove top while the intruder kept his voice raised. She had been working on breakfast for her ungrateful husband and her adopted children since they’d be back from patrol in a few hours. Alfred was in the Batcave which left her up here and vulnerable… not that they’d care.
“Let me turn off the stove so you don’t blow the place up if you shoot.” (Your name) calmly told him. She knew this would be a tragic end… and she looked forward to her suffering to end at last.
(Your name) unclasped the pearls from her neck and placed them in the burlap sack the burglar thrusted toward her with one hand. She then made her way to take off each piece of jewelry that was an empty gift from her husband. Even his mother’s ring he gave her for their opulent wedding.
“Code. Safe. Now.” The burglar demanded as he thrusted the gun in her chest.
“0219.” (Your name) calmly stated despite how terrifying the situation was. “It’s in the third room to the right.”
She could not get another word in before a searing pain filled her chest as a loud gunshot rung throughout the house. She glanced down at her chest at the bullet hole that was now through her chest cavity.
The burglar walked off while she sank to the floor in a heap. Her hands went to her phone to make a final call but… she knew no one from this house would answer. (Your name) was always an afterthought, and she believed she would be even in death.
So she dialed 911 and waited for the operator to answer. Her right hand was stained crimson as the viscous blood pooled around her like a grotesque blanket.
Once she heard the operated answer, (your name) cut them off, “There’s been a robber and murder at the Wayne manor.”
(Your name) then hung up and turned her gaze to the ceiling. If there was another life, she would be selfish and live for herself. She wouldn’t rot away like lettuce in the back of a fridge in this manor. No… she would have more respect for herself.
Breathe in… breathe out. She smiled in peace for the first time in years. She was finally free from this lonely nightmare she had been trapped in for nearly two decades. Maybe, she would finally deserve her chance to be loved as much as she loved back.
How was she to know the nightmare only just began?
.
.
.
(Your name) jolted awake, her wine glass nearly slipped from her hand from the sudden movement. A myriad of voices chattered in the opulent restaurant has her eyes glanced around the almost surreal scene.
This was the restaurant she had begged Bruce and the boys to come to for her birthday with her six years ago…
“ Mrs. Wayne, would you like another glass of water?” The familiar waiter came over with a pitiful expression that she had seared into her memory from all those years ago. The look almost every waiter gave her at any venue she went to.
“Actually, I’d like to order.” (Your name) smiled. “It’s my birthday… and I want to celebrate it for once.”
The waiter seemed surprised but happily took her order. This was the first time she had ordered rather than wait for hours for a family that wouldn’t come.
(Your name) smiled to herself, her gaze focused on the complementary wine glass that was brought to her by the wait staff. How sad was it that the stranger showed her more love than her own family?
She had a second chance… and she’d be damned if she wasted it.
.
.
.
After she had long left and enjoyed her meal, a dashing family of five hurriedly arrived to the restaurant.
Bruce Wayne looked slightly disheveled, but that didn’t take away from his charming good looks. The billionaire and his adopted sons hurriedly glanced around the restaurant for any sign of his wife and their mother. He knew she would be here… just like she always was that she waited for them.
They had all been given a second chance when they came home and found her small, lifeless body on the kitchen floor after patrol.
Never had they all cried so much as they cradled her cold, bloody form as they desperately tried to revive her. Each of them begged for another chance to love her properly.
Each of them had spent so much time finding the perfect gift to make up all the lost time up to her and to finally celebrate her birthday like a family… just like she always dreamed.
They had always kept their distance to keep her safe from their enemies. Yet they had instead created a giant misunderstanding. One that they all desperately needed to make up for.
“Do you think mother is still here? I hope she didn’t wait too long…” Damian muttered, his green eyes nervously searched for (your name)’s delicate form.
“She always waits for us. She loves us.” Dick reassured the others, yet they all knew it was more of a self reassurance. “She will be so happy…”
The wait staff seemed surprised but they did give the boys some glares.
“Jeez, what’s their problem?” Jason huffed as he put his hands in his pockets. He didn’t see her anywhere… he had gotten her a wonderful gift for once.
“I can look up her location.” Tim chimed in as he pulled out his phone. “She’s around, I’m sure.
It was Bruce who seemed to search the hardest for her. A bouquet of roses were clenched so hard in his fists that his knuckles turned white. He would make this all right again.
(Your name) was alive once more… and he would make sure she would never die or be hurt by anyone again. She’d be protected and cherished like she deserved.
“I’m sorry, but Mrs. Wayne left hours ago.”
The men all instantly deflated. She left? But she would always be here for hours for them… was there a possibility she returned in time too?
They all went back to the manor in haste. They wanted to celebrate her birthday with her… they wanted to celebrate so much with her. They wouldn’t let her be alone ever again.
.
.
.
(Your name) dipped her feet in the hot tub at the manor with a content sigh. Her lungs deeply inhaled the crisp night air with a dreamy sigh. This felt so peaceful. Why had she never celebrated her birthday like this before?
(Your name) didn’t even flinch when she heard the boys come home. Perhaps patrol ended early? It’s been so many years of being ignored that she hardly knew what went on in their lives.
She slipped the robe off and slid her swimsuit clad body into the comfortably hot water. Another sigh spilled through her lips, her muscles relaxed. This felt like heaven.
(Your name) jumped when Bruce suddenly slid the sliding door open with a loud whack. She was quick to cover her cleavage with her hands despite how this man was her legal husband.
“ Mr. Wayne? What are you doing here-“ Bruce was quick to close the distance and pull her into a hug. The muscular man shook like a leaf as he held her to him. His heart beats so fast, she swore it was about to burst.
“You’re alive… you’re okay…” (Your name) did a double take at his words. When did he ever care about her well-being?
“Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?” There was no way he came back to the past too, right? Her original, neglectful husband would never hold her and bury his nose in her hair like this…
Yet here Bruce Wayne, her infamous billionaire, Playboy husband, was with his face borrowed into her skin. His nose deeply inhaled her scent like she was his favorite flower. He held her as if she was something precious, something he has never done in their two decades of marriage.
“What are you doing?” She asked, but he only held her tighter.
Bruce pulled back to study her face, is blue eyes were dark like a sea storm. His brows were furrowed in worry.
“Hugging my wife.”
A humorless chuckle bubbled from her chest. So now she was his wife? Since when has he treated her as such.
“Is this a joke?” She asked him despite how serious he looked. “I’m just a decorated house pet-“
Her eyes almost popped out of her head when he planted a searing kiss on her lips. A gasp escaped her as his tongue thrust its way into the cavern of her mouth and tasted every inch of it. His hands greedily grasped at her body.
“Wife… my wife.” Bruce whispered against her lips. “My beautiful wife.”
“Mister Wayne-“
“It’s Bruce.” His voice was authoritative as he cut her formalities off.
“…Bruce.” She sighed. “I’m not sure what you want from me.”
“I want you. I want my wife.” (Your name) squealed when h got into the hot tub with her to hair with her. “It’s your birthday today…”
He… he knew her birthday?
“I didn’t think you ever noticed...” She muttered, but he pressed his forehead to hers.
“All these years, we thought we were keeping you safe by keeping a distance. How foolish I was.” Bruce sighed. “You’re safer in our arms, in my arms.”
(Your name) was speechless when he pulled a gift box from his breast pocket and opened it to reveal an exquisite pearl necklace.
“You deserve to be adorned in pearls and jewels. To be pampered by me.” Bruce didn’t give her the chance to move away as he clasped the necklace around her.
Despite its elegance, (your name) couldn’t help the dread that pulled in her stomach. She could not stop the feeling that this pearl necklace was nothing more than a magnificent collar.
“You look so beautiful in those pearls… they were my mother’s, you know.” Bruce hummed as he picked her up and placed her on the edge of the hot tub.
Bruce placed her robe back over her form.
“Let’s get changed and go celebrate your birthday properly with the boys. They really want to see their mother.” He pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek. “and after that, I think you and I can finally make up for all the lost time.”
(Your name) felt a tear roll down her face that Bruce took as a tear of joy. Yet only she knew the truth.
She had believed she would escape and find her own happiness, now she realize she would never escape this gilded cage.
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