#maybe an imperial stout and milk

[zanmor]

Alas, Babylon

I am become wood

@maamlet

White Gilgamesh

[beerselfie]

#Repost @the_barcyde 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥⁣ ⁣ Lambrate is not only a quartiere of Milano but it's also home to and the name of this cracking craft brewery. Back when we were backpacking through Europe over a decade ago now 😬 Milan, sorry to say, was not our favourite spot in Italy. Apart from some of the best bianca pizzas we've ever had, there wasn't much to write home about. Had I known about @birrificiolambrate back then, perhaps my views would been extremely different! Maybe it was because we were balling on a budget and maybe it was because I knew we could've used the time we spent in Milan to see some distant relatives which I hadn't met before in the countryside. Who knows. It just didn't tickle my pickle.⁣ ⁣ I tell you what does though. Every. Single. Time. A fat @restorenorthbridge or @restoreleederville mixed meats Conti with melanzane on a white crusty bread roll 🤤. Mamma mia! They've been a part of my life for nearly about 25 years I reckon. Never let me down, from the Orangina, crostoli, vanilla slice and of course, the world famous continental rolls. So after missing out on the @streetx collab with the Re Store last year, I made it a priority to cop a T and cap this time round 🤌⁣ ⁣ 🇮🇹 @birrificiolambrate X 🇳🇴 @olkymisten 𝘛𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘶 𝘐𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘵 ~ 𝟷𝟷.𝟻%⁣ ⁣ I've never been a big Tiramisu fan but I honestly probably haven't tried one since I started drinking coffee about 9 years ago. Might be worth a revisit. Perhaps they'd serve up a good one up at the Re-Store?⁣ ⁣ This multi-award winning beer is brewed with muscovado sugar, milk sugar, coffee beans from Honduras, cacao nibs and vanilla flavour. ⁣ ⁣ It pours a Chinotto-like, deep brown colour with a minimal, golden head. Italian style roast coffee and vanilla on the nose. I'm getting coffee, hazelnuts, vanilla and coffee liquer on the palate up front. It has a really smooth mouthfeel. As it warms, hints of cola and cinnamon also appear on both the nose and in the gob.⁣ ⁣ Bloody nice desert style Imperial Stout.⁣ ⁣ Cheers to Dimitri from @the_brew_merchants for the sample. Go check them out for all your Euro beer and cider needs.⁣ ⁣ 🐟 @mud_duk glass https://www.instagram.com/p/CkKVvwRLDAM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[midgardbrewhouse]

Brewday - Milk Stout.

A last minute change to this months planned brew as I wanted to make something to take the Sloe Mead I'd made. The best thing for this I thought would be an Imperial Milk Stout, balance some of that dryness with roasty sweetness. So I worked up a base of 55. 6% No.19 Floor Malted Maris Otter, 6.2% Malted Naked Oats, 3.7% Crystal T50, 3.7% Roasted Wheat, 3.7% Special B and 2.5% Chocolate Malt. Well aware that if I was going to try take this to imperial strength on my Brewzilla I'd have to make the ABV up with 18.5% Dark and Light Brown sugar and 6.2% Lactose to finish. The sugars went in at the end of the boil. Step mashed at 50c for 10 minutes then 67c for 80 with a 75c sparge. Hit all my volumes right but efficiency was 53%. I'm gonna have to work on my water to grain ratios I think. I didn't treat my water either as being a dark beer it shouldn't have needed it, maybe it did, who knows? Either way is probably a more sensible OG 1.078 Milk Stout now. Simple hop schedule with the last of 2020's homegrown Fuggles. 40g for bittering with 60g for the final 10 minutes. No other additions. I want the malts to shine here and depending on how it turns out I might split it for the mead addition, or even try a 50/50 mix in some wine bottles. We shall see. Finally did a double packet of Nottingham with a first wort starter to really get it going and boy did it,  furiously fermenting away at 18c.

[nwbeerguide]

Have you missed anything at Gigantic Brewing Company, this November? You might want to stop in.

Have you missed anything at Gigantic Brewing Company, this November? You might want to stop in.

Break out your MAX pass, call up a friend, or walk down the street; because Gigantic Brewing reminded us of some cool $#1t!

As many of you may or may not know, Gigantic is located in an area that isn't exactly on the way to much. If you've been reading the trades, then you've heard about the second location under development. But for now, you have to settle on taking a walk or drive (either by a friend, stranger, or bus) to 5224 SE 26th Ave, Portland, OR 97202. Maybe this is why you might have forgotten that yes, they are a brewery, and yes, they have new beers since the last time you stopped in (if it was more than a month ago).

Starting with what's online right now, we introduce you to All Nighter Imperial Mocha. At 8% Alcohol By Volume, this Imperial Mocha Stout screams to be paired with your Thanksgiving Dinner.

image courtesy Gigantic Brewing Company, LLC

Here's what on the label

Right on Now! Let's jump and spin all night! Some times a collaboration just feels so right! Our friends at Reuben's Brews helped us brew this Northern Soul inspired chocolatey coffee stout with a hint of milk sugar to smooth it all out. Put on your dancing shoes and find out what it's all about.

Next up, we report on the return of a beer, whose name is probably inspired by actual events.

Cat Ate My Stash & Pissed on the Xmas Tree, as it's called, is an India Pale Ale inspired by Gary Larson and no doubt pairs with tree-trimming or fireplace-illuminated moments of deep thoughts with a cat in your lap. At 7.5%, this beer won't break your back or your bladder unless you bought two and drink them in one sitting.

image courtesy Gigantic Brewing Company, LLC

What's on the label

Consider this IPA our holiday gift to you. It's loaded with the dankest, stickiest, drippiest, piniest hops we could get our hands on. This festive beer is the perfect addition to.

The last one on the, get it while it here list, is LP Stout.

Probably brewed while listening to Coltrane, Davis, or Dark Side of the Moon on .5 speed; LP Stout is a Nitro stout that is best consumed in twos while pondering how they get the grooves in that album. Look for this 5.7% sipper on Nitro and in bottles.

image courtesy Gigantic Brewing Company, LLC

What's on the label

Sit back and get deep into the groove. Enjoy a sublime stateof smooth, with notes of espresso, chocolate, and roast backed by a touch of caramel sweetness. A stout with a warm sound and lots of low-end punch.

Finally, we want to bring up Fluffy Tufts, released this past Tuesday, and Electric Hazy DIPA, which will make its appearance next Tuesday (November 26th).

Breaking it down, Fluffy Tufts is 6.3% and joins the ranks of Juicy IPAs resting on shelves and bar tops throughout the region.

image courtesy Gigantic Brewing Company, LLC

What's on the label

This Juicy IPA was brewed with vast amounts of citra, mosaic, simcoe and crystal hops and just dripping with all the citrus and tropical juiciness that you love. Citra and mosaic have quickly become our favorite combinations for juicy IPAs. Add in the pineapple notes of simcoe and the tropical essence of crystal and you have yourself one damn tasty IPA.

Concluding things, Electric Hazy DIPA is your 8% and 104th beer released by Gigantic Brewing Company. Like a bag of oranges, this beer might bruise your liver and your ego. Don't let that stop you from stopping by the brewery for a sip, before walking out the door with a bottle.

image courtesy Gigantic Brewing Company, LLC

What's on the label

We collaborated with our friend Gabe from Anchorage Brewing up in Alaska on this super juicy, soft and fluffy DIPA that's loaded with Citra and Strata hops creating a tropical and citrus intensity. Sure to shock your palette with pleasure

That is it! If these quick jabs don't inspire a trip to the brewery, then at least see if your local will buy a case or keg so you can avoid embarrassment should someone inquire about your opinion on these latest releases from Gigantic.

Gigantic Brewing Company is located (currently) at 5224 SE 26th Avenue Portland, Oregon 97202. For more information including hours and current draft lists, visit https://www.giganticbrewing.com.

ABOUT GIGANTIC BREWING COMPANY LLC

At Gigantic we only do two things: make the best damn IPA in Portland, Oregon and produce seasonal, exciting, flavorful beers, most of which will be brewed only once. Our goal is simultaneously to create new interpretations of classic styles and to ignore those same style guidelines completely and brew whatever our creative natures produce.

We hold ourselves to a simple principle – Never Give an Inch. We vow to start small and (stubbornly) stay small, focusing our efforts on making exceptional beer, rather than a lot of beer. When you drink Gigantic, know that we didn’t just put our names on the label – our effort, imagination, and dry wit are in every bottle.

Look for Gigantic on tap at your local, and in 500ml bottles at your favorite place to buy good beer. Better yet, come visit us at our Tap Room and Champagne Lounge and Taste the Awesome!

Cheers!

Ben & Van

More about Ben

More about Van

from Northwest Beer Guide - News - The Northwest Beer Guide http://bit.ly/2O8o3xa

[welikebeer]

Back Unturned Brewing Co.

San Antonio, TX

This was a cool brewery. They opened in 2019 so still fairly new. Not much going for them in terms of outdoor seating, but that’s okay. It was relatively small on the inside but the ambiance was great. Also, BEST PIZZA EVER. However, I think the name is one of the coolest parts about the brewery: Back Unturned, the dream (im assuming the owner) didn’t turn their back on. That resonated with me since I have a similar dream that I have no intentions of turning my back on. I don’t know that i’ll find myself starting up my own brewery one day, maybe I will maybe I won’t, but I definitely have every intention on becoming a beer expert. I will definitely brew beer at some point though, that’s a given, whether that be in my laundry room or in a designated corner of the garage…but I will absolutely be a known beer expert (whatever that looks like). That’s the dream I’m not turning my back on. So, it only makes sense that this fine brewery be the first one I add to my beer blog. My experience at this brewery is by no means is my first rodeo, but it certainly was the place the idea to start a blog like this came about. :)

Ingrid and I tasted the following in flight form:

Rio de Leche. A stout, milk/sweet beer. I really liked this one on a personal level.

Rio Reserve Barrel Aged. Another stout, milk/sweet beer. This one had a warm whiskey kick to it, surely a product of having been aged in whiskey barrels as the name implies. Ingrid liked this one—it was a good beer, definitely an acquired taste. If you like whiskey, you’d like this.

Backtoberfest. A märzen beer. Not sure what that means quite yet.

Nightmare juice. An IPA, imperial/double new england/hazy beer. This one was definitely good—really liked on a personal level—but I also just happen to particularly like hazy IPAs.

Coconut Chocolate Porter. An American porter, can’t remember what we thought of this one. Clearly didn’t stand out enough, but can’t recall any complaints either.

Nightmare before. A pumpkin/yam beer. This one was a very pleasant surprise. Would get this one again.

Dank Session. An American pale ale. I’m not quite sure where or how this one went wrong, but the flavor profile immediately struck me to describe it as “bathroom cleaner.” Could’ve just been an off day for this one, but do with this information what you will…

Riverwalk Pale Ale. An American pale ale. This was a good beer but definitely mild for me, personally. Cannot complain, just not for me.

Visited 12/27/2021

[delfinamaggiousa]

We Asked 10 Brewers: What’s the Most Ridiculous Smoothie IPA You’ve Had?

Parallels are often drawn between craft beer and music. The saying goes that brewery sellouts are much like your favorite indie band signing to a mainstream record label. Of course, there are exceptions, and what stands out for some is heavy metal and IPA. From stoner metal to technical black metal, and from session IPA to black IPA, the parallel genres contain seemingly innumerable subgenres and innovations.

One of the more, uh, divisive subcategories of IPA is the much-critiqued smoothie IPA, a style that many beer drinkers (this author included) struggle to recognize as an IPA. With incredibly high grams per liter of fruit, and outrageous levels of lactose, it’s a substyle that resembles little of its parent style. Indeed, many of the brewers contacted for this piece simply said they’d so far successfully avoided drinking a smoothie iPA. Regardless, few can deny its popularity — and many agree it is delicious, if a little ridiculous.

So, what are the most ridiculous smoothie IPAs professional brewers are drinking? We asked brewers around the world to chime in on which sweet, dessert-like smoothie IPAs take the cake.

“North Brew Co. Golden Milk Turmeric and Apricot sour with coconut. I’ve taken turmeric every day for a long time for its numerous health benefits and was intrigued to see how such a strong flavor could work in a beer. The beer poured a vibrant orange with a pillowy-white head. On first sip, the immediate flavor was apricot and sweet clementine. The turmeric is there in spades but somehow not overpowering, and works well with the sorbet-sourness. The coconut was present somewhere in the background, although, probably not a bad thing as it would stick out like a sore thumb if too prominent. I wasn’t sure how the mix of ingredients would blend together, but they did, and it made for a super-refreshing fruity sour that contributed to my overall health and supple joints!” — Maddie Culling, Shift Lead Brewer, Northern Monk Brew Co., Leeds, U.K.

“We’ve brewed our fair share of milkshake IPAs (well, four to be exact, so maybe fair share is a stretch), but we’ve always strived to make sure that the liquid has a semblance to beer over a milkshake. The most ridiculous one I’ve ever sampled was from a brewery who poured next to us at a festival — a mixed berry/vanilla milkshake IPA that had literal chunks when poured into my glass. I had to use the bathroom sink to rinse out the glass thoroughly afterwards because them fruit particles like to cling!” — Libby Crider, Owner & General Manager, 2nd Shift Brewing, St Louis

“I have never knowingly drank a smoothie IPA, apart from one which was some kind of banana Daiquiri number from a Swedish brewery that will remain nameless. I love me a Piña Colada but this was more aroma of baby shite and a texture like liquified blancmange. Almost as bad as the Negroni Saison from one of my favorite London breweries [served] at Moeder Lambic, of all places, in 2014… Ho hum. Pass the Pils, please.” — Olly Plimsoll Bartlett, Sales Manager, Stockholm Brewing Co., Stockholm, Sweden

“At a previous job, we brewed a beer with a famous Swedish brewery known for their bold graphic design, and ever-bold flavor combinations. The beer was to be the main beer for the second Beavertown Extravaganza, and as such had to live up to the hype of the previous beer for the festival, Heavy Lord, a 15 percent bourbon-barrel- aged imperial stout brewed with 3 Floyds from Munster, Indiana. The brewery we decided to pair up with for the second year was none other than Omnipollo and the beer was Mango Milk Power Breakfast IIPA. I still remember the look of disgust and fear on our faces when we heard we were going to be using whey protein isolate (which Omnipollo specified should be the highest grade possible) in a beer. I was even more shocked when Cosmo, our lead brewer at the time, was allowed to spend almost a grand on a pointless adjunct that would probably have coagulated in the kettle anyway and provided very little flavor or texture, or muscle-bulking benefits. The beer itself was actually really difficult to build, and I say ‘build’ because it was less about brewing and more about the technicalities of putting these flavors of hops, mango, coconut, lactose, vanilla and… protein isolate together in a harmonious and tasty way. The event came around, and of course Omnipollo had set up the beer to be poured from their soft serve dispense at their stall… I saw one poured into a coconut shell, and so I tasted it and thought, ‘yeah, that’s pretty good for what it is.’ I was proud that we had made a balanced, well-made Mango, Coconut, Vanilla, Lactose, Protein Shake Smoothie Imperial IPA… Now, where is my Pilsner?” — Jonathan Hamilton, Brewer, Newbarns Brewery, Edinburgh, Scotland

“Trick question: all smoothie IPAs are equally ridiculous.” — Ehren Schmidt, Master Blender, Mikkeller Baghaven, Copenhagen, Denmark

“The most ridiculous smoothie/milkshake IPA I’ve ever had was probably a sour black double IPA hopped with Citra and El Dorado and had wheat, malted oats, lactose, mandarin orange purée, tangerine purée, dark chocolate, vanilla beans, pink sea salt, and orange peel. When I drank it, it was a bit of a sensory overload: so many different flavors going across my palate as I drank; it was interesting but I don’t think I would go so far as to call it enjoyable. I don’t purchase them, but a friend of mine loves the style, and she keeps giving me different examples to try. Personally, I don’t really like the style; for one thing I don’t really like overly sweet beer (or sweet wine, or any other sweet beverage generally) and this style of IPA is aggressively sweet. The other reason why I don’t like smoothie/milkshake IPA is that I feel that the style is just a gimmick designed to garner attention in a crowded marketplace. It all screams, ‘Look at me! I’m an IPA that tastes like s’mores!’ or, ‘Look at me! I’m an IPA that tastes like strawberry pancakes!’ or, “Look at me! I’m an IPA with as much lactose as a glass of milk!’ And yes, all three of these examples are real. At the end of the day, I think that the people that like this style enjoy it because they have an affinity towards sweet, sugary things.” — Mark Ryan, Head Brewer, Jersey Girl Brewing Company, Hackettstown, N.J.

“I’m going to have to say Definitive Vanilla Dome with Mango. It’s not ridiculous in its absurdity, but in the way the flavors work together. The vanilla accentuated the sweetness while the acidity of the mango kept it from being cloying. It is a well-put-together beer.” — Peter Heggeman, Brewmaster, Bath Brewing Company, Bath, Maine

“Tired Hands, a name on most ‘hype bois’ lists of breweries to try, make absolutely stonking beer and along with Omnipollo helped spearhead and fetishize the milkshake/smoothie IPA. Their double vanilla double IPA is probably one of the most intense (read: ridiculous) IPAs I’ve had and yeah, it was decadent, but it was also a huge miss for me. Their house [yeast] strain and hefty use of oats brings heaps of vanilla for me in their beers anyway, but the sheer eye-watering amount of vanilla in that IPA was too much when paired with Citra, Mosaic, lactose (f*ck lactose!) and rumored apple in the mash for pectin haze. The hop profile was great (when is Citra and Mosaic not) but when the screaming sweetness from the lactose and vanilla washes in it’s overpowering, and detracted from the balance of the beer. The beer is perfect for a bottle share where a whole can is too much but a quarter of a can is more than enough. This sort of innovation ‘for innovation’s sake’ means that you’ll always have to one-up yourself and your competition when the haze bros come calling.” — Jack Delaney, Assistant Head Brewer, Alefarm Brewing, Greve, Denmark

“The most ridiculous ‘smoothie IPA’ I have ever drank would probably be something from Decadent Ales out of Mamaroneck, N.Y. Their IPAs are not packaged with as much fruit purée as the popular sour smoothie beers, but they are still loaded with tons of sweet and tangy fruit flavor. The Orange Cream Pop IPA packs so much flavor and a thick mouthfeel into one can, it’s a great summer replacement for an actual Creamsicle. Tons of creamy sweetness up front from additions of sugars and vanilla beans, followed up with a surprising kick of orange that lingers on the tongue. Plus, it clocks in at a steady 6 percent ABV, so don’t be afraid to enjoy more than one. I’ve had quite a few ‘smoothie’ and ‘milkshake’ IPAs, but this one takes the cake for most well balanced while still being able to detect the hops. As for even more ridiculous, their Double Toasted Marshmallow IPA is basically a can of sugary-sweet alcohol. While it is fairly tasty, at 9.5 percent ABV, it’s a touch too sweet and boozy to enjoy much more than a few sips.” — Bri Burrows, Head Brewer, Big Rip Brewing Company, Kansas City, Mo.

“To quote a line from a beer bottle, ‘I didn’t choose hops, hops chose me.’ I love a good, crisp, dank West Coast IPA, one of my most favorite styles to brew. I’ve never been a fan of the hazy, fruity IPAs that have taken hold here in the states. Stone Brewing is one of my favorite breweries, so when a beer rep buddy of mine dropped off a 6-pack of Stone Neverending Haze at the brewery, I was surprised. But, being that Stone does some amazing beers, I gave it a try. This beer is oh-so hazy with flavors of citrus, pineapple, and strawberry. It comes in at 4 percent ABV and 35 IBUs. I have to say, I was impressed. In no way have I converted to a hazy, juicy IPA drinker but it is one of the best ones I’ve had.” — Joe Crockett, Brewmaster, Rockin’ JY Nano Craft Brewery, Ewa Beach, Hawaii

The article We Asked 10 Brewers: What’s the Most Ridiculous Smoothie IPA You’ve Had? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/10-best-smoothie-ipas/

source https://vinology1.wordpress.com/2020/06/02/we-asked-10-brewers-whats-the-most-ridiculous-smoothie-ipa-youve-had/

[notsuspiciousreally-blog]

No try, no gain

 I haven't failed i've just found 10,000 ways that won’t work said Thomas Edison. I’ve forgotten this old saying for a long time until few months ago. I started to drink beer when I graduated high school and I was sick of cass soon after. So I started my journey to find my ideal beer. I started from common pilsner And soon my interest reached to unpopular beers such as ipa. Unfortunately whenever I thought I found a right one soon I realized that it was a illusion sweetened by my fantasy. Whenever I tasted it second time I always said “is this really a same one?”

 Few months ago I bought a one of the imperial stout called dark seas. And finally I instinctively knew I found my dream. Its syrupy deep chocolate and coffee taste, a slight scent of raisin and red bean struck me. At that moment I thought about failures I experienced. Bloody hell that belgian whites, creepy espresso milk stout... and I felt I could understand what Edison said. I didn’t even know its existence but I coincidentally found it. If I had stopped to find it I couldn't have found what I was looking for. finally I got a huge lesson that I can’t get anything without try.

 After that moment I’ve changed. now I believe so many possibilities that might be on my life. Maybe one day I might be able to do something that I couldn’t imagine right now. and like Thomas Edison said I won’t quit. My future seemed to be more positive than before

[lakesregionbeerreview]

You should see me in a • C r o w n • • Celebrating new beginnings • A long turbulent road brought me here, enjoying a beer in what has finally become my new salon, The Shop @theshopsalonnh . I hope to celebrate many rewarding days in this chair, maybe even a beer or two to talk about with you guys again. Until then, I leave you with my selection; an inky intense milk stout that teeters on the brink of imperial at 7.8% • Cheers 🍻 • Somewhere, Something Incredible is Waiting to Be Known Treehouse Brewing Company Charlton, MA • --------------------------------------------------------- #reviewswithoutboobs #beer #nh #603 #beerofinstagram #delightful #603girl #beerlover #craftnotcrap #craftbeer #drinklocal #nhbeertrail #shoplocal #hopsmash #nhmade #brewnh #beerhunting #like4like #comeback #beerme #life #bossbabe @treehousebrewco @girlsincraft @brewnh @nhbeertrail @mabrewersguild @puma (at Nicole Guarino Does Hair) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw5aYClFHqX/?igshid=1l23lhg5aa1c1

[junker-town]

It’s carnage for the top seeds in our 2019 Beer Bracket

Let’s crown the 2019 NCAA tournament champion based on their local beer.

You can fill out your 2019 NCAA tournament bracket based on several different factors. Sure, weighing each team based on their basketball talent is one way. Or maybe you’d prefer to pick teams based on which mascot would win in a fight.

But as a person who enjoys beer — and who found it a great comfort as his alma mater, Vanderbilt University, took the highest-rated recruiting class in program history and spun it into an 0-19 SEC record — my preferred nonsense bracket lies somewhere in the intersection of water, grain, hops, and yeast. So in order to crown this year’s champion, we’ll be breaking down every single matchup in this year’s tournament by each school’s local brewery.

How will we do it? Well, since I unfortunately haven’t been to the vast majority of the grain transmogrifiers across the country, I’ve gotta call in some backup. Every university will be represented by the highest-rated brewery in their home towns (with a minimum of 10 ratings if there’s more than one local brewery), as judged by the users at Beer Advocate. If there’s more than one school in a given city, the top seed with get the top-rated brewery and the lower seeded school will get the second-best beerseller. If the college doesn’t have a brewery within its city limits, it’ll get assigned the closest one.

With our breweries in order, matchups will be determined by a lineup of a company’s highest-rated beers — with a minimum of 20 reviews each — ensuring 2019’s winner is the brewer with the most complete lineup of brews and not just a one-hit wonder. Teams will use their top-ranked beer in their first round, next best in round two, and so on and so forth. In some cases, breweries without enough rated beers were swapped out with other, more-often-rated breweries just to keep things as balanced as possible. Some cities only had one brewery with few reviews, so I used Untappd as a supplement when necessary (while scaling some of these scores back to the mean since Untappd typically has higher average ratings).

Don’t agree with the choice of brewery/beer for your favored school? Take it up with the jamokes writing reviews over at Beer Advocate, who currently rate the top brewery in my current home of Madison, Wisconsin as Delta Beer Labs — a parody of what would happen if a brewery pandered to its local audience so pretentiously that it disappeared up its own asshole. (They did not have enough reviews to usurp the far, far superior Karben4 as the official unofficial beer of the University of Wisconsin)

Also, breweries don’t necessarily (or often) represent their college towns. Northeastern gets repped here by Trillium, home of the $55 growler. For one month of graduate student pay you could buy a couple four-packs there.

Here’s how the 2019 beer bracket shakes out. Keep in mind the folks at Beer Advocate really, really seem to like super hoppy hazy IPAs and anything that’s been stored in a bourbon barrel for a few weeks. And get ready for some numblingly stupid names for mediocre beers.

First Four

(16) Lone Pint Brewing (Prairie View) over (16) Alementary Brewing (Fairleigh Dickinson)

Lone Pint, in somewhat nearby Magnolia and assuredly not a ripoff of Lone Star Brewing, wins with its Yellow Rose IPA (4.41 score) over Alementary’s poorly-reviewed lineup in Hackensack

(11) Southern Grist Brewing (Belmont) over (11) Yards Brewing (Temple)

Southern Grist’s DDH Noise Pollution (4.29) out-duels Yards’ General Washington’s Tavern Porter (Barrel Aged) (4.08) in our first appearance from a beer that needed to be stored in the casks of another, stronger drink in order to be made good.

(16) Drekker Brewing (North Dakota State) over (16) Ponysaurus Brewing (NC Central)

NC Central got hosed when Duke took Fullstream Brewing, leaving the smaller school with the not especially liked Export Lager at Ponysaurus (3.91). Drekker’s Freak Parade double IPA (4.29) wins easily.

(11) Finback Brewery (St. John’s) over (11) Four Peaks Brewing (Arizona State)

St. John’s proximity to good New England IPAs and review-loving beer hipsters gives the Red Storm the juice to go far in this bracket. Finback Brewery’s Between the Dead (4.44) is one of the top-rated beverages in this year’s lineup, dispatching Four Peaks’ Sirius Black (4.11)

First round

(10) Surly Brewing (Minnesota) over (7) Against the Grain Brewery (Louisville)

Surly is great, and their Abrasive Ale (4.5) is enough to make a hard-luck loser out of Against the Grain’s 70K (4.32)

(3) Tin Roof Brewing (LSU) over (14) City Steam Brewing (Yale)

Baton Rouge’s highest-regarded brewery juuuuust barely sneaks by Hartford’s thanks to Smiling Ivan’s 4.03 score — .02 better than City Steam’s Careless Love biere de garde (4.01).

(5) Red Clay Brewing (Auburn) over (12) High Desert Brewing (New Mexico St.)

Auburn didn’t have a local brewery, so we had to turn to Opelika’s Red Clay Brewing Co. They’re so well liked their best reviewed popular beer (via Untappd, because they didn’t have much traction on BA) is a cider. Not a very good one, either — Murdercreek only scored a 3.96 despite its delightful name. That’s still better than High Desert’s poorly received Anniversary IPA (3.78). If this were a college basketball game, it would be a 44-38 Big Ten tournament rock fight.

(13) Foam Brewers (Vermont) over (4) Proof Brewing (Florida St.)

Foam Brewers is the Catamounts, and Built to Spill IPA (4.41) is T.J. Sorrentine. Poor Proof Brewing’s Creatures in the Dark (4.09) never had a chance.

(2) Ellison Brewery & Spirits (Michigan St.) over (15) Bearded Owl Brewery (Bradley)

Bearded Owl gives us the first beer name of the tournament you’d be embarrassed to order out loud with It’s Not Me, It’s You (4.00). It’s mercifully dispatched by Ellison’s DDH Citra Evolution (4.28)

(11) Southern Grist (Belmont) over (6) Denizens Brewing (Maryland)

Southern Grist’s second beer of the tournament, [Insert Juicy Pun] (4.29) ran Denizens’ Big Red Norm (3.88) off the court and left me wishing I could have just picked Natural Light for the Terrapins.

(13) Trillium Brewing (Northeastern) over (4) Free State Brewing (Kansas)

Remember what I said before about Trillium. Beer. Snobs. Can’t. Get. Enough. Of. Their. $14. Beers. Free State’s Old Backus Barleywine (4.21) got merked by Trillium’s Headroom (4.61). I’m not even looking at the description but I’m gonna assume its some kind of double-dry, hopped triple-IPA made solely in response to Old Milwaukee’s old “bitter beer face” ads.

(5) Lakefront Brewery (Marquette) over (12) Perrylodgic Brewing (Murray St.)

Perrylodgic is 25 miles from Murray State’s campus. It’s not a beer town. Milwaukee has about six local breweries within walking distance of Marquette (some are long walks), and wins pretty much by default with Lakefront’s Black Friday Bourbon Barrel Aged Stout (4.33)

(10) Swamp Head Brewery (Florida) over (7) Brasserie Saint James (Nevada)

Nevada swoops in with the fanciest-named local brewery, then swoops right back out with 1904 (4.06) can’t compete with Swamp Head’s, ugh, Saison du Swamp (4.19).

(2) Country Boy Brewing (Kentucky) over (15) Pappy Slokum Brewing (Abilene Christian)

Country Boy’s Infinite Sadness black ale (4.31) sweeps Stripper Dust (3.86) right the hell out of the bracket.

(6) Conshohocken Brewing (Villanova) over (11) Federation Brewing (Saint Mary’s)

The delightfully named and near campus Tin Lizard Brewing Co. didn’t have enough reviews to make the list for Villanova, so Conshohocken, some five miles away, got the call in its place. Their Type A American IPA (3.98) juuuuuust barely squeaked (squck?) by Oakland’s (Moraga doesn’t have a brewery either) Federation and their Imperial milk stout Nap Time (3.97).

(16) Lone Pint Brewing (Prairie View) over (1) Iron Goat Brewing (Gonzaga)

Lone Pint’s solid reviews makes Prairie View a worth successor to UMBC’s throne. Their Zythophile Summit (4.26) smoked Spokane’s poorly reviewed Iron Goat and its Impaler Ale (3.95). No, I don’t know what a zythophile is either, and I’m not gonna look it up on my work computer.

(15) Big Sky Brewing (Montana) vs. (2) Arbor Brewing (Michigan)

Big Sky’s most ubiquitous offering, Moose Drool, doesn’t even show up among their top five popular beers. Instead it’s Barrel Aged Ivan the Terrible (4.25) carrying the load for an upset win over Michigan and its Arbor Brewing Sodibo Barrel Aged Blond Ale (Sour Series) (4.01)

(7) RJ Rockers Brewery (Wofford) over (10) Gaslight Brewery and Restaurant (Seton Hall)

RJ Rockers has great reviews on Untappd and relatively poor ones on Beer Advocate, but a fairly low 3.88 rating for Star Spangled Stout was still enough to knock out South Orange’s Gaslight and its 3.78-rated Bourbon Barrel Quad.

(3) Brokerage Brewing (Purdue) over (14) Smartmouth Brewing (Old Dominion)

Daggers Bearing Notes sure is a name for a beer. At a 4.05 rating, it’s better than Smartmouth’s Notch 9 (3.97)

(8) Middle Ages Brewing (Syracuse) over (9) Brotherwell Brewing (Baylor)

Waco was another city where it was difficult to find a qualifying brewery. Brotherwell came closest, but their Percy Porter (3.77) couldn’t stand up against Middle Ages’ 10th Anniversary Double IPA (4.08).

(10) Big Grove Brewing (Iowa) vs. (7) MadTree Brewing (Cincinnati)

Cincinnati had a surplus of breweries to choose from, with MadTree clocking the most positive reviews on BA. It still wasn’t a match for the pride of Iowa City, Big Grove Brewing. Their Richard the Whale Macaroon is a combination of words that don’t go together in any meaningful way but manages to be the name of a pretty good beer, scoring a 4.45 to MadTree’s Axis Mundi - Coffee And Vanilla - Barrel-Aged (4.32).

(9) 405 Brewing (Oklahoma) over (8) Yalobusha Brewing (Mississippi)

According to Google, the closest brewery to Ole Miss is Yalobusha, which is more than 30 miles away.

How is that possible I don’t even...

(14) Braxton Brewing (Northern Kentucky) over (3) The Plains Brewing (Texas Tech)

Lubbock only had one brewery crop up on BeerAdvocate, and since it was a lightly-reviewed chophouse I swapped in The Plains Brewing Co., which is in Lubbock but only shows up in reviews on Untappd. They aren’t great, either, with their Plains IPA scoring a 3.96. Braxton’s creatively named Braxton Labs NE IPA 001 (4.23) wins this one easily

(13) Backstreet Brewing (UC Irvine) over (4) Tallgrass Brewing (Kansas St.)

I thought Tallgrass was a respected rising brewery from the Great Plains. I was apparently not in the majority. Buffalo Sweat (3.88) turned out to be one of the lowest-rated lead beers in the bracket, even if always tasted pretty good to me. Backstreet’s Murder By Death Bourbon Barrel Aged moves on with a 4.03 score.

(15) Good Nature Farm Brewery & Tap Room (Colgate) over (2) Downtown Grill and Brewery (Tennessee)

Behold, possibly the worst-rated brewery in the bracket — the Downtown Grill and Brewery. Beer Advocate does not care for Knoxville, so at least it’s got that going for it.

(16) New Groove Artisan Brewing (Gardner-Webb) over (1) Champion Brewing (Virginia)

I’m sorry, Cavaliers.

I’m so, so sorry.

New Groove’s excessively-titled Missed Your Plane - Six & Twenty Barrel Aged (4.39) beats Champion’s Fruitbasket IPA (4.2)

(11) Finback Brewing (St. John’s) over (6) Big Ditch Brewing (Buffalo)

Finback’s second entry, BQE - Barrel Aged (4.39) is still stronger than most other teams’ top beers. It ends the Bulls’ Final Four hopes despite a solid showing from Big Ditch’s Hayburner American IPA (4.18).

(12) Oakshire Brewing (Oregon) over (5) Karben4 (Wisconsin)

I am devastated for my current home brewery, which didn’t stand a chance from the Eugene juggernaut and its Hellfire Double Barrel Especial (4.5). Karben4’s Idiot Farm (4.15) got eclipsed by the Ducks.

For what it’s worth, I’d put their Tokyo Sauna up against anything else in the bracket.

(9) Holy Mountain Brewing (Washington) over (8) Whatever 3.2% ABV Beer You’re Getting at the State Liquor Store (Utah State)

Searching for Logan, Utah on BeerAdvisor only brings this up:

Which checks out. The closest brewery, per Google, is Talisman. Talisman has great reviews, but I’m not rewarding the Aggies for not having a recognized brewery within 40 miles of campus. The Huskies get the Pac-12 a win here, even if it’s by default.

(16) Drekker Brewing (North Dakota St.) over (1) Fullsteam Brewery (Duke)

As much as I want a beer called Multiple Ectogasms (4.27) to lose, even the Blue Devils’ advantage of pulling Durham’s top brewery failed to push Fullsteam’s First Frost - Brandy Barrel Aged (4.12) into the second round.

(3) St. Arnold Brewery (Houston) juuuust barely over (14) Scofflaw Brewing (Georgia State)

Scofflaw and St. Arnold threw down the gauntlet in their showdown as Barrel Aged Coffee Absentium and Pumpkinator (Bourbon Barrel Aged) tied with equal 4.4 scores. Unfortunately for the Atlanta brewery, their second-best beer, Hooligan (4.18), couldn’t stand up against Houston’s Bishop’s Barrel (4.22)

(12) Apocalypse Ale Works (Liberty) over (5) Sweetgum Brewing (Mississippi St)

Apocalypse isn’t particularly close to Liberty, which makes sense because their beer lineup — including Lustful Maiden (3.94) — doesn’t seem like something that would be especially welcome at Jerry Falwell’s school. Fortunately the only consistently reviewed brewery in Starkville only has two beers on tap, one of which has a rating of “N/A.” The other is a 3.48.

The less said about them, the better. Flames win.

(16) Broken Bow Brewery (Iona) over (1) Carolina Brewery (North Carolina)

Broken Bow’s Old Split-Foot (4.04) made short work of Carolina’s Oatmeal Porter (3.87) to cap a four-for-four sweep for 16 seeds over 1 seeds. I know, I know, I was hoping for the simple, non-ironic name to win one this round, too.

(8) The Answer Brewpub (VCU) absolutely ruins (9) Orlando Brewing Partners (UCF)

Orlando’s Ten10 Brewing didn’t have enough reviews to make the cut, so the honors fell to Orlando Brewing Partners. This was not a good trade. OBP’s top beer, Blackwater Porter, only scored a 3.72. Richmond’s Dead Thumb imperial stout (4.46) wins in the beer equivalent of the 1992 USA Basketball squad facing off against Angola.

(11) Zaftig Brewing (Ohio St.) over (6) Olde Main Brewing (Iowa St.)

Ames’ Olde Main Brewing Co. had significantly more reviews than Torrent or Alluvial, so it got the call to represent Iowa State. Poorly, it turns out. Olde Main only had two qualifying beers that scored higher than a 3. Columbus has no shortage of breweries, but Zaftig and its BamBaLam (4.11) gets an effective bye week to kick off the tournament.

(13) Perennial Artisan Ales (Saint Louis) routs (4) Bull & Bones Brewhaus (Virginia Tech)

Just 1.2 points separates Perennial’s Barrel-Aged Abraxas — the top rated beer in the bracket at 4.74 — and Bull & Bones’ not particularly enjoyed Maroon Effect Ale (3.54). If VCU-UCF was the dream team in 1992, this matchup is like the ‘96 Bulls taking on a high school team from suburban Rhode Island.

Second round

(8) The Answer Brewpub (VCU) over (16) Drekker Brewing (North Dakota State)

Drekker’s Phantom Hand clocks in at a 4.12 — pretty strong for the company’s third-best beer, but not enough to knock off what The Answer’s 3 Scoops: Passionfruit, Mango, Peach (4.44), whiiiiiiich, upon review, may just be melted sorbet and mash liquor.

(13) Perennial Artisan Ales (Saint Louis) over (12) Apocalypse Ale House (Liberty)

Red Hoppocalypse Imperial Ale (3.92) is one of the weaker round-two offerings out there. Maman imperial stout (4.62) combines all the perfect factors for BA users — fancy sounding name, “imperial” style, crap-ton of booze (11.5 percent alcohol), “artisan” to check off at least four boxes on the “beer dork bingo” sheet.

(11) Southern Grist Brewing (Belmont) over (3) Tin Roof Brewing (LSU)

The 12-year-old Nashville brewery rolls on as DDH Mixed Greens (4.22) holds off Tin Roof’s Voodoo APA (4.03) to bring Belmont’s proxy to 3-0 for the tournament. It’s the first time anything good has happened to someone in Nashville at a place called Tin Roof in years.

(10) Surly Brewing (Minnesota) over (2) Ellison Brewery and Spirits (Michigan State)

Surly’s Darkness (4.48) keeps me from having to write out more nonsense titles from Ellison like their round-two entry You Can Get With That...JUICE (4.23)

(8) Middle Ages Brewing (Syracuse) over (16) Lone Pint Brewing (Prairie View)

Lone Pint’s drop off from its second beer to Zeno’s Pale Ale (4.03) signals the end of its Cinderella run. It falls to Middle Ages’ Blackheart Stout (4.06).

(13) Foam Brewers (Vermont) over (5) Lakefront Brewery (Marquette)

Foam Brewers’ college alt rock lineup chugs along from Built to Spill to Pavement New England IPA, whose 4.41 score shuffles Lakefront Brewery and the state of Wisconsin off the tournament’s moral coil.

:(

(11) Finback Brewery (St. John’s) over (14) Braxton Brewing (N. Kentucky)

Finback keeps going strong, riding Fat Mango and its 4.38 fruit beer score to the Sweet 16 by toppling Braxton’s 4.11-rated Dead Blow Coffee Stout.

(10) Swamp Head Brewery (Florida) over (15) Big Sky Brewing (Montana)

Big Sky pulled out the ol’ trick play by springing a barleywine on us in round two. Specifically, Olde Bluehair Barley Wine (4.01). Swamp Head was ready though, dispatching the Montana fixture with its 10-10-10 IPA (Bourbon Barrel Aged) (4.14)

(16) New Groove Artisan Brewery (Gardner-Webb) over (9) 405 Brewing (Oklahoma)

New Groove’s Dichotomy sour (4.31) is one of round two’s strongest beers, even if it probably tastes a little bit like phlegm (a rich sour tradition). 405’s Freelance Whale (right.) (4.14) puts up a good fight, but ultimately comes up short for the Sooners.

(12) Oakshire Brewing (Oregon) over (13) Backstreet Brewery (UC-Irvine)

The Oregon hotshot blows the Backstreet boys out of the water with its Rum Brunch in Hell (4.45) the highest rated of approximately 1,000 barrel-aged beers from Oakshire. Backstreet’s Crippler (3.81) never had a chance.

(3) Brokerage Brewing (Purdue) over (6) Conshohocken Brewing (Villanova)

West Lafayette’s best reviewed brewery stays alive thanks to Absolute Mewnit (4.01) which despite being an extremely new money, meme-aware local beer name is at least brief. Conshohocken’s Day Without a Dawn (3.93), the bracket’s most My Chemical Romance-sounding of beers, bows out.

(10) Big Grove Brewery (Iowa) over (15) Good Nature Farm Brewery (Colgate)

Big Grove’s Big Ed (4.27) just squeaked by Broken Bow’s Annie imperial IPA (4.12) Colgate’s local brewery bows out without a single mint- or toothpaste-related beer on the docket, which is a tremendous disappointment for a lazy joke writer like me but also probably a good idea taste-wise.

(9) Holy Mountain Brewing (Washington) over (16) Broken Bow Brewery (Iona)

Holy Mountain staged a blowout when their Clarette American wild ale (4.46) totally wrecked Broken Bow’s Broken Heart Stout (3.41).

(13) Trillium Brewing (Northeastern) over (5) Red Clay Brewing (Auburn)

Trillium’s reign of terror claims another victim with its never-ending list of limited releases that somehow get reviewed hundreds of times in the two weeks they’re available (this time it’s Double Dry Hopped Congress Street and its 4.59 score). Are all their extremely well-received barrel-aged beers really barrel aged? Well, there’s some debate about that, though Trillium denies any impropriety on their end.

(3) Saint Arnold Brewing (Houston) over (11) Zaftig Brewing (Ohio State)

Saint Arnold’s high gravity Bishop’s Barrel 21 Belgian quadruple (a mere 12.5 percent alcohol and a 4.22 score) knocks Columbus out of the bracket, besting Zaftig’s Juicy Lucy (4.06).

(2) Country Boy Brewing (Kentucky) over (7) RJ Rockers Brewing (Wofford)

RJ Rockers’ Black Perle Dark IPA’s 3.82 score wasn’t enough to carry the Terriers through to another round. Country Boy advances with its Nate Coffee Stout (4.1)

Sweet 16

(13) Perennial Artisan Ales (Saint Louis) over (8) The Answer Brewpub (VCU)

The Answer brought out its Mounds Vesuvius (4.39), which sounds like either a discount strip club or candy store — neither of which you’d want to visit. Beer Advocate assures me it’s an imperial stout. 4.39 is a great score, but not enough to take down Perennial’s Apricot Funky Wit (4.55).

(10) Surly Brewing (Minnesota) over (11) Southern Grist Brewing (Belmont)

Nashville’s own Process Control (4.16) is no match for Surly’s widely distributed — and pretty good — Todd the Axe Man (4.46)

(13) Foam Brewers (Vermont) over (8) Middle Ages Brewing (Syracuse)

Foam’s list of alt rock beers comes to an end, but their high ratings do not as Galaxie 500 rolls in with a 4.39 to sweep Middle Ages’ Dragonslayer (4.04) out of the competition.

(11) Finback Brewery (St. John’s) (10) Swamp Head Brewery (Florida)

Finback’s NYC bonafides continue with Heinous imperial stout (4.37). That’s a good enough score to oust Swamp Head and its Tropical Disturbance (4.12)

(16) New Groove Artisan Brewing (Gardner-Webb) over (12) Oakshire Brewing (Oregon)

You know what Kurt Cobain would have loved? One of his song titles being used to sell upscale beers to thriving young adults in a college town. Oregon’s Heart Shaped Box (4.09) loses to Bluesberry Porter (4.25)

(10) Big Grove Brewing (Iowa) over (3) Brokerage Brewing (Purdue)

Big Grove’s Jean Luc Richard (4.24) prevents me from writing out more of Brokerage’s terrible beer names by defeating ... Lemur Juice (3.98)

(13) Trillium Brewing (Northeastern) over (9) Holy Mountain Brewing (Washington)

Trillium’s gauntlet of limited-edition beers continues with Permutation Series #57: Imperial Stout w/ Coconut & Vanilla (4.59), which knocks out Holy Mountain’s MIsere Au Borinage (4.41) in a heavyweight battle.

(3) Saint Arnold Brewing (Houston) over (2) Country Boy Brewing (Kentucky)

SA’s Endeavor IPA (4.15) beats, thank God, Country Boy’s Sexual Dracula (4.07).

Elite Eight

Only one seed in the single digits remains. This probably isn’t a great way to pick your bracket.

(13) Perennial Artisan Ales (Saint Louis) over (10) Surly Brewing (Minnesota)

The Billikens squeak into the final four when Perennial’s Television (4.33) just barely out-reviews Surly’s Pentagram Aged (4.31)

(11) Finback Brewing (St. John’s) over (13) Foam Brewers (Vermont)

Finback’s Orange Crush (4.37) is enough to push New York’s brewing scene into the Final Four, ousting Foam’s Television and its otherwise excellent 4.33 score.

(16) New Groove Artisan Brewing (Gardner-Webb) over (10) Big Grove Brewery (Iowa)

The pride of Boiling Springs, South Carolina, moves on to the Final Four with REMIX: Chocolate (4.22), defeating Big Grove’s Color TV (4.14)

(13) Trillium Brewing (Northeastern) over (3) Saint Arnold Brewing (Houston)

The last top(ish) seed falls when Saint Arnold’s Art Car IPA (3.99) can’t hold a candle to Trillium’s Double Dry Hopped Fort Point Pale Ale (4.58).

Final Four

An 11-seed, two 13s, and a 16. Just as God intended.

(13) Perennial Artisan Ales (Saint Louis) over (11) Finback Brewing (St. John’s)

Perennial’s Barrel Aged Vermilion Barleywine (4.49) still qualifies as beer, apparently. Apologies to Finback, whose Orange Crush (4.37) falls to the discard pile.

(13) Trillium Brewing (Northeastern) over (16) New Groove Artisan Brewing (Gardner-Webb)

Trillium’s ‘92 Dream Team run continues as its Trillium / Monkish - Insert Hip Hop Reference There (sigh) and its 4.58 score pushes the little Carolina brewery that could and its Double Time w/ Galaxy and Citra (4.2) out of the bracket.

Yes, collaborations count.

...

I guess.

Beer Bracket Championship

(13) Trillium Brewing (Northeastern) over (13) Perennial Artisan Ales (Saint Louis)

Trillium’s massive amount of high-rated beers pushes the Boston juggernaut into the spotlight once more as our beer bracket champion. The brewery’s Coconut PM Dawn (4.57) beat out Perennial’s Sump Coffee Stout (4.43) for the title, proving that leaning hard into barrel-aged, dry-hopped, and weirdly-named beers is the best way to appease the kind of drinker that catalogues all her/his beverages immediately after drinking them.

Congrats to the Huskies, and the nearby brewery none of their students have ever used for beer pong. You stand alone at the intersection of elite college basketball and elite suds.

[theskyrimlibrary]

A Dance in Fire v3

A Dance in Fire Chapter 3

by Waughin Jarth

✲•······················▃🖋️······················•✲

Mother Pascost disappeared into the sordid hole that was her tavern, and emerged a moment later with a scrap of paper with Liodes Jurus’s familiar scrawl. Decumus Scotti held it up before a patch of sunlight that had found its way through the massive boughs of the tree city, and read.

Sckotti, So you made it to Falinnesti, Vallinwood! Congradulatens! I’m sure you had quit a adventure getting here. Unfortonitly, Im not here anymore as you probably guess. Theres a town down rivver called Athie Im at. Git a bote and join me! Its ideal! I hope you brot a lot of contracks, cause these peple need a lot of building done. They wer close to the war, you see, but not so close they dont have any mony left to pay. Ha ha. Meat me down here as son as you can. Jurus

So, Scotti pondered, Jurus had left Falinesti and gone to some place called Athie. Given his poor penmanship and ghastly spelling, it could equally well by Athy, Aphy, Othry, Imthri, Urtha, or Krakamaka. The sensible thing to do, Scotti knew, was to call this adventure over and try to find some way to get back home to the Imperial City. He was no mercenary devoted to a life of thrills: he was, or at least had been, a senior clerk at a successful private building commission. Over the last few weeks, he had been robbed by the Cathay-Raht, taken on a death march through the jungle by a gang of giggling Bosmeri, half-starved to death, drugged with fermented pig’s milk, nearly slain by some kind of giant tick, and attacked by archers. He was filthy, exhausted, and had, he counted, ten gold pieces to his name. Now the man whose proposal brought him to the depths of misery was not even there. It was both judicious and seemly to abandon the enterprise entirely.

And yet, a small but distant voice in his head told him: You have been chosen. You have no other choice but to see this through.

Scotti turned to the stout old woman, Mother Pascost, who had been watching him curiously: “I was wondering if you knew of a village that was at the edge of the recent conflict with Elsweyr. It’s calling something like Ath-ie?”

“You must mean Athay,” she grinned. “My middle lad, Viglil, he manages a dairy down there. Beautiful country, right on the river. Is that where your friend went?”

“Yes,” said Scotti. “Do you know the fastest way to get there?”

After a short conversation, an even shorter ride to Falinesti’s roots by way of the platforms, and a jog to the river bank, Scotti was negotiating transport with a huge fair-haired Bosmer with a face like a pickled carp. He called himself Captain Balfix, but even Scotti with his sheltered life could recognize him for what he was. A retired pirate for hire, a smuggler for certain, and probably much worse. His ship, which had clearly been stolen in the distant past, was a bent old Imperial sloop.

“Fifty gold and we’ll be in Athay in two days time,” boomed Captain Balfix expansively.

“I have ten, no, sorry, nine gold pieces,” replied Scotti, and feeling the need for explanation, added, “I had ten, but I gave one to the Platform Ferryman to get me down here.”

“Nine is just as fine,” said the captain agreeably. “Truth be told, I was going to Athay whether you paid me or not. Make yourself comfortable on the boat, we’ll be leaving in just a few minutes.”

Decumus Scotti boarded the vessel, which sat low in the water of the river, stacked high with crates and sacks that spilled out of the hold and galley and onto the deck. Each was marked with stamps advertising the most innocuous substances: copper scraps, lard, ink, High Rock metal (marked “For Cattle”), tar, fish jelly. Scotti’s imagination reeled picturing what sorts of illicit imports were truly aboard.

It took more than those few minutes for Captain Balfix to haul in the rest of his cargo, but in an hour, the anchor was up and they were sailing downriver towards Athay. The green gray water barely rippled, only touched by the fingers of the breeze. Lush plant life crowded the banks, obscuring from sight all the animals that sang and roared at one another. Lulled by the serene surroundings, Scotti drifted to sleep.

At night, he awoke and gratefully accepted some clean clothes and food from Captain Balfix.

“Why are you going to Athay, if I may ask?” queried the Bosmer.

“I’m meeting a former colleague there. He asked me to come down from the Imperial City where I worked for the Atrius Building Commission to negotiate some contracts,” Scotti took another bite of the dried sausages they were sharing for dinner. “We’re going to try to repair and refurbish whatever bridges, roads, and other structures that got damaged in the recent war with the Khajiiti.”

“It’s been a hard two years,” the captain nodded his head. “Though I suppose good for me and the likes of you and your friend. Trade routes cut off. Now they think there’s going to be war with the Summurset Isles, you heard that?

Scotti shook his head.

“I’ve done my share of smuggling skooma down the coast, even helping some revolutionary types escape the Mane’s wrath, but now the wars’ve made me a legitimate trader, a businessman. The first casualties of war is always the corrupted.”

Scotti said he was sorry to hear that, and they lapsed into silence, watching the stairs and moons’ reflection on the still water. The next day, Scotti awoke to find the captain wrapped up in his sail, torpid from alcohol, singing in a low, slurred voice. When he saw Scotti rise, he offered his flagon of jagga.

“I learned my lesson during revelry at western cross.”

The captain laughed, and then burst into tears, “I don’t want to be legitimate. Other pirates I used to know are still raping and stealing and smuggling and selling nice folk like you into slavery. I swear to you, I never thought the first time that I ran a real shipment of legal goods that my life would turn out like this. Oh, I know, I could go back to it, but Baan Dar knows not after all I’ve seen. I’m a ruined man.”

Scotti helped the weeping mer out of the sail, murmuring words of reassurance. Then he added, “Forgive me for changing the subject, but where are we?”

“Oh,” moaned Captain Balfix miserably. “We made good time. Athay’s right around the bend in the river.”

“Then it looks like Athay’s on fire,” said Scotti, pointing.

A great plume of smoke black as pitch was rising above the trees. As they drifted around the bend, they next saw the flames, and then the blackened skeletal remains of the village. Dying, blazing villagers leapt from rocks into the river. A cacophony of wailing met their ears, and they could see, roaming along the edges of the town, the figures of Khajiiti soldiers bearing torches.

“Baan Dar bless me!” slurred the captain. “The war’s back on!”

“Oh, no,” whimpered Scotti.

The sloop drifted with the current toward the opposite shore away from the fiery town. Scotti turned his attention there, and the sanctuary it offered. Just a peaceful arbor, away from the horror. There was a shudder of leaves in two of the trees and a dozen lithe Khajiit dropped to the ground, armed with bows.

“They see us,” hissed Scotti. “And they’ve got bows!”

“Well, of course they have bows,” snarled Captain Balfix. “We Bosmer may have invented the bloody things, but we didn’t think to keep them secret, you bloody bureaucrat.”

“Now, they’re setting their arrows on fire!”

“Yes, they do that sometimes.”

“Captain, they’re shooting at us! They’re shooting at us with flaming arrows!”

“Ah, so they are,” the captain agreed. “The aim here is to avoid being hit.”

But hit they were, and very shortly thereafter. Even worse, the second volley of arrows hit the supply of pitch, which ignited in a tremendous blue blaze. Scotti grabbed Captain Balfix and they leapt overboard just before the ship and all its cargo disintegrated. The shock of the cold water brought the Bosmer into temporary sobriety. He called to Scotti, who was already swimming as fast as he could toward the bend.

“Master Decumus, where do you think you’re swimming to?”

“Back to Falinesti!” cried Scotti.

“It will take you days, and by the time you get there, everyone will know all about the attack on Athay! They’ll never let anyone they don’t know in! The closest village downriver is Grenos, maybe they’ll give us shelter!”

Scotti swam back to the captain and side-by-side they began paddling in the middle of the river, past the burning residuum of the village. He thanked Mara that he had learned to swim. Many a Cyrodiil did not, as largely land-locked as the Imperial Province was. Had he been raised in Mir Corrup or Artemon, he might have been doomed, but the Imperial City itself was encircled by water, and every lad and lass there knew how to cross without a boat. Even those who grew up to be clerks and not adventurers.

Captain Balfix’s sobriety faded as he grew used to the water’s temperature. Even in wintertide, the Xylo River was fairly temperate and after a fashion, even comfortable. The Bosmer’s strokes were uneven, and he’d stray closer to Scotti and then further away, pushing ahead and then falling behind.

Scotti looked to the shore to his right: the flames had caught the trees like tinder. Behind them was an inferno, with which they were barely keeping pace. To the shore on their left, all looked fair, until he saw a tremble in the river-reeds, and then what caused it. A pride of the largest cats he had ever seen. They were auburn-haired, green-eyed beasts with jaws and teeth to match his wildest nightmares. And they were watching the two swimmers, and keeping pace.

“Captain Balfix, we can’t go to either that shore or the other one, or we’ll be parboiled or eaten,” Scotti whispered. “Try to even your kicking and your strokes. Breath like you would normally. If you’re feeling tired, tell me, and we’ll float on our backs for a while.”

Anyone who has had the experience of giving rational advice to a drunkard would understand the hopelessness. Scotti kept pace with the captain, slowing himself, quickening, drifting left and right, while the Bosmer moaned old ditties from his pirate days. When he wasn’t watching his companion, he watched the cats on the shore. After a stretch, he turned to his right. Another village had caught fire. Undoubtedly, it was Grenos. Scotti stared at the blazing fury, awed by the sight of the destruction, and did not hear that the captain had ceased to sing.

When he turned back, Captain Balfix was gone.

Scotti dove into the murky depths of the river over and over again. There was nothing to be done. When he surfaced after his final search, he saw that the giant cats had moved on, perhaps assuming that he too had drowned. He continued his lonely swim downriver. A tributary, he noted, had formed a final barrier, keeping the flames from spreading further. But there were no more towns. After several hours, he began to ponder the wisdom of going ashore. Which shore was the question.

He was spared the decision. Ahead of him was a rocky island with a bonfire. He did not know if he were intruding on a party of Bosmeri or Khajiiti, only that he could swim no more. With straining, aching muscles, he pulled himself onto the rocks.

They were Bosmer refugees he gathered, even before they told him. Roasting over the fire was the remains of one of the giant cats that had been stalking him through the jungle on the opposite shore.

“Senche-Tiger,” said one of the young warriors ravenously. “It’s no animal - it’s as smart as any Cathay-Raht or Ohmes or any other bleeding Khajiiti. Pity this one drowned. I would have gladly killed it. You’ll like the meat, though. Sweet, from all the sugar these asses eat.”

Scotti did not know if he was capable of eating a creature as intelligent as a man or mer, but he surprised himself, as he had done several times over the last days. It was rich, succulent, and sweet, like sugared pork, but no seasonings had been added. He surveyed the crowd as he ate. A sad lot, some still weeping for lost family members. They were the survivors of both the villages of Grenos and Athay, and war was on every person’s lips. Why had the Khajiiti attacked again? Why - - specifically directed at Scotti, as a Cyrodiil - - why was the Emperor not enforcing peace in his provinces?

“I was to meet another Cyrodiil,” he said to a Bosmer maiden who he understood to be from Athay. “His name was Liodes Jurus. I don’t suppose you know what might have happened to him.”

“I don’t know your friend, but there were many Cyrodiils in Athay when the fire came,” said the girl. “Some of them, I think, left quickly. They were going to Vindisi, inland, in the jungle. I am going there tomorrow, so are many of us. If you wish, you may come as well.”

Decumus Scotti nodded solemnly. He made himself as comfortable as he could in the stony ground of the river island, and somehow, after much effort, he fell asleep. But he did not sleep well.

✲•······················▃🖋️······················•✲

[beerguysradioshow]

Experimental Brewing and Hydroponic Hops with Wild Leap Brew Co.

Wild Leap Brew Co. keeps jumping with new beers and distilled spirits

Wild Leap Brew Co. has been making waves with a huge showing in our Best of Georgia Beer awards and being named Best New Brewery by USA Today.  They've earned their honors with a constant stream of tasty beers like the Truck Chaser series of ice cream truck-inspired brews and their DIPA Alpha Abstraction series feature the same base beer but with new hops in each release, currently on Volume 11.

We sat down this week at the BGR Studios with the Wild Leap crew to talk beer.  Chris Elliott, Chief Brewing Officer; Rob Goldstein, Co-Founder and Chief Marketing Office; and Doug Sayler, Lead Brewer all made the trip to hang out and chat over a few brews.  We talk about having fun with experimental ingredients and the challenge of planning around those ingredients, their cool Three Harvest collaboration with Extreme Hops AL, an IPA utilizing hydroponically grown hops, and what that could mean for hop farming in the future.  We press Goldstein on the possibility of a taproom in Atlanta and what we're going to see in Alpha Abstraction Vol. 12.

In addition to brewing up beer after beer, Wild Leap has also ventured into distilled spirits.  They currently offer a vodka for cocktails at the taproom and in retail 750s.  Elliott tells us they're experimenting with distilling at the brewery/distillery now to see what's next.  A distilled IPA, maybe?

Hanging with the cool kids from Wild Leap! (L-R) Brian, Doug Sayler, Chris Elliott, Rob Goldstein, and Tim D.

The Beer List

Wild Leap Alpha Abstraction Vol. 11 | DIPA with HBC472 hops

Wild Leap Caramel Cake Stout

Wild Leap Chance | IPA

Wild Leap Three Harvest | DIPA with hydroponic hops

Wild Leap Truck Chaser Creamsicle | DIPA with orange, vanilla bean, and milk sugar

Carton Regular Coffee | Imperial Cream Ale with coffee and lactose

ICYMI | More from Georgia

StillFire Brewing with Phil Farrell and Walt Wooden | Ep. 203

Good Word Brewing and Public House's Todd DiMatteo | Ep. 199

Wild Leap Brew C0. | Ep. 99 - Hear Chris and Rob's thoughts from November 2017!

Wild Leap Alpha Abstraction Vol 9 took the #1 spot for our 2019 Best of Georgia Beer awards in the Best New DIPA category. (Photo: Wild Leap Brew Co.)

Check out this episode!

[nwbeerguide]

Triceratops Brewing promises to make breakfast and beer fun again, with the release of Barrel-Aged Breakfast Brown

image courtesy Triceratops Brewing Company

Press Release

(Tumwater, Wash.) … Triceratops Brewing is kicking off the month of February with a limited release that will have flapjack fans falling in love. Barrel-Aged Breakfast Brown, a brand new release from the family-owned brewery, is the third beer from Triceratops to have spent time in whiskey barrels since Imperial Hawthorne Coffee Milk Stout appeared in 2017. Timed to coincide with Valentine’s Day, it’s a sweet sipper well suited for a romantic breakfast. 

“As a morning person, pancakes are one of my favorite breakfast foods,” says brewer and co-founder Rob Horn. “When I tasted this out of the barrels I immediately thought that maple and spice could turn it into a really fun beer. Maybe we should have called it Liquid Pancakes? The only thing missing is a side of bacon.” 

To make Barrel-Aged Breakfast Brown (6% ABV), Horn started by pulling a portion of last year's nutty, toasty Brown Ale and resting it for many months in Heaven Hill bourbon barrels. That’s where it picked up notes of vanilla and oak along with the subtle suggestion of smoke. Then he added nutmeg, cinnamon, and maple syrup for the perfect amount of flapjack flavor. 

Supplies of this special beer are very limited, but beginning on February 1, Barrel-Aged Breakfast Brown will be available at select retailers throughout western Washington both on draft and in 500-milliliter bottles. It’s also now available to-go in bottles, 32-ounce Crowlers, and 64-ounce growlers at the Triceratops tasting room.

About Triceratops Brewing Company 

Founded by Rob and Kelly Horn in 2014, Triceratops Brewing Company evolved from a tiny one barrel garage system to a 10-barrel brewhouse and tasting room in the Tumwater Warehouse District near the Olympia Regional Airport. The company’s range of offerings include Collin James Irish Red, Mrs. Voorhees Peanut Butter Stout, the award-winning Pennsyltucky Lager, Strawberry Golden Ale, and the popular Liquid Swords series of IPAs. Triceratops currently self distributes to King, Kitsap, Lewis, Pierce, Snohomish, and Thurston counties. Its tasting room is now open five days a week. For more information, visit https://bit.ly/2SG2J37

from Northwest Beer Guide - News - The Northwest Beer Guide https://bit.ly/39IRVed

[johnboothus]

We Asked 10 Brewers: Whats the Most Ridiculous Smoothie IPA Youve Had?

Parallels are often drawn between craft beer and music. The saying goes that brewery sellouts are much like your favorite indie band signing to a mainstream record label. Of course, there are exceptions, and what stands out for some is heavy metal and IPA. From stoner metal to technical black metal, and from session IPA to black IPA, the parallel genres contain seemingly innumerable subgenres and innovations.

One of the more, uh, divisive subcategories of IPA is the much-critiqued smoothie IPA, a style that many beer drinkers (this author included) struggle to recognize as an IPA. With incredibly high grams per liter of fruit, and outrageous levels of lactose, it’s a substyle that resembles little of its parent style. Indeed, many of the brewers contacted for this piece simply said they’d so far successfully avoided drinking a smoothie iPA. Regardless, few can deny its popularity — and many agree it is delicious, if a little ridiculous.

So, what are the most ridiculous smoothie IPAs professional brewers are drinking? We asked brewers around the world to chime in on which sweet, dessert-like smoothie IPAs take the cake.

“North Brew Co. Golden Milk Turmeric and Apricot sour with coconut. I’ve taken turmeric every day for a long time for its numerous health benefits and was intrigued to see how such a strong flavor could work in a beer. The beer poured a vibrant orange with a pillowy-white head. On first sip, the immediate flavor was apricot and sweet clementine. The turmeric is there in spades but somehow not overpowering, and works well with the sorbet-sourness. The coconut was present somewhere in the background, although, probably not a bad thing as it would stick out like a sore thumb if too prominent. I wasn’t sure how the mix of ingredients would blend together, but they did, and it made for a super-refreshing fruity sour that contributed to my overall health and supple joints!” — Maddie Culling, Shift Lead Brewer, Northern Monk Brew Co., Leeds, U.K.

“We’ve brewed our fair share of milkshake IPAs (well, four to be exact, so maybe fair share is a stretch), but we’ve always strived to make sure that the liquid has a semblance to beer over a milkshake. The most ridiculous one I’ve ever sampled was from a brewery who poured next to us at a festival — a mixed berry/vanilla milkshake IPA that had literal chunks when poured into my glass. I had to use the bathroom sink to rinse out the glass thoroughly afterwards because them fruit particles like to cling!” — Libby Crider, Owner & General Manager, 2nd Shift Brewing, St Louis

“I have never knowingly drank a smoothie IPA, apart from one which was some kind of banana Daiquiri number from a Swedish brewery that will remain nameless. I love me a Piña Colada but this was more aroma of baby shite and a texture like liquified blancmange. Almost as bad as the Negroni Saison from one of my favorite London breweries [served] at Moeder Lambic, of all places, in 2014… Ho hum. Pass the Pils, please.” — Olly Plimsoll Bartlett, Sales Manager, Stockholm Brewing Co., Stockholm, Sweden

“At a previous job, we brewed a beer with a famous Swedish brewery known for their bold graphic design, and ever-bold flavor combinations. The beer was to be the main beer for the second Beavertown Extravaganza, and as such had to live up to the hype of the previous beer for the festival, Heavy Lord, a 15 percent bourbon-barrel- aged imperial stout brewed with 3 Floyds from Munster, Indiana. The brewery we decided to pair up with for the second year was none other than Omnipollo and the beer was Mango Milk Power Breakfast IIPA. I still remember the look of disgust and fear on our faces when we heard we were going to be using whey protein isolate (which Omnipollo specified should be the highest grade possible) in a beer. I was even more shocked when Cosmo, our lead brewer at the time, was allowed to spend almost a grand on a pointless adjunct that would probably have coagulated in the kettle anyway and provided very little flavor or texture, or muscle-bulking benefits. The beer itself was actually really difficult to build, and I say ‘build’ because it was less about brewing and more about the technicalities of putting these flavors of hops, mango, coconut, lactose, vanilla and… protein isolate together in a harmonious and tasty way. The event came around, and of course Omnipollo had set up the beer to be poured from their soft serve dispense at their stall… I saw one poured into a coconut shell, and so I tasted it and thought, ‘yeah, that’s pretty good for what it is.’ I was proud that we had made a balanced, well-made Mango, Coconut, Vanilla, Lactose, Protein Shake Smoothie Imperial IPA… Now, where is my Pilsner?” — Jonathan Hamilton, Brewer, Newbarns Brewery, Edinburgh, Scotland

“Trick question: all smoothie IPAs are equally ridiculous.” — Ehren Schmidt, Master Blender, Mikkeller Baghaven, Copenhagen, Denmark

“The most ridiculous smoothie/milkshake IPA I’ve ever had was probably a sour black double IPA hopped with Citra and El Dorado and had wheat, malted oats, lactose, mandarin orange purée, tangerine purée, dark chocolate, vanilla beans, pink sea salt, and orange peel. When I drank it, it was a bit of a sensory overload: so many different flavors going across my palate as I drank; it was interesting but I don’t think I would go so far as to call it enjoyable. I don’t purchase them, but a friend of mine loves the style, and she keeps giving me different examples to try. Personally, I don’t really like the style; for one thing I don’t really like overly sweet beer (or sweet wine, or any other sweet beverage generally) and this style of IPA is aggressively sweet. The other reason why I don’t like smoothie/milkshake IPA is that I feel that the style is just a gimmick designed to garner attention in a crowded marketplace. It all screams, ‘Look at me! I’m an IPA that tastes like s’mores!’ or, ‘Look at me! I’m an IPA that tastes like strawberry pancakes!’ or, “Look at me! I’m an IPA with as much lactose as a glass of milk!’ And yes, all three of these examples are real. At the end of the day, I think that the people that like this style enjoy it because they have an affinity towards sweet, sugary things.” — Mark Ryan, Head Brewer, Jersey Girl Brewing Company, Hackettstown, N.J.

“I’m going to have to say Definitive Vanilla Dome with Mango. It’s not ridiculous in its absurdity, but in the way the flavors work together. The vanilla accentuated the sweetness while the acidity of the mango kept it from being cloying. It is a well-put-together beer.” — Peter Heggeman, Brewmaster, Bath Brewing Company, Bath, Maine

“Tired Hands, a name on most ‘hype bois’ lists of breweries to try, make absolutely stonking beer and along with Omnipollo helped spearhead and fetishize the milkshake/smoothie IPA. Their double vanilla double IPA is probably one of the most intense (read: ridiculous) IPAs I’ve had and yeah, it was decadent, but it was also a huge miss for me. Their house [yeast] strain and hefty use of oats brings heaps of vanilla for me in their beers anyway, but the sheer eye-watering amount of vanilla in that IPA was too much when paired with Citra, Mosaic, lactose (f*ck lactose!) and rumored apple in the mash for pectin haze. The hop profile was great (when is Citra and Mosaic not) but when the screaming sweetness from the lactose and vanilla washes in it’s overpowering, and detracted from the balance of the beer. The beer is perfect for a bottle share where a whole can is too much but a quarter of a can is more than enough. This sort of innovation ‘for innovation’s sake’ means that you’ll always have to one-up yourself and your competition when the haze bros come calling.” — Jack Delaney, Assistant Head Brewer, Alefarm Brewing, Greve, Denmark

“The most ridiculous ‘smoothie IPA’ I have ever drank would probably be something from Decadent Ales out of Mamaroneck, N.Y. Their IPAs are not packaged with as much fruit purée as the popular sour smoothie beers, but they are still loaded with tons of sweet and tangy fruit flavor. The Orange Cream Pop IPA packs so much flavor and a thick mouthfeel into one can, it’s a great summer replacement for an actual Creamsicle. Tons of creamy sweetness up front from additions of sugars and vanilla beans, followed up with a surprising kick of orange that lingers on the tongue. Plus, it clocks in at a steady 6 percent ABV, so don’t be afraid to enjoy more than one. I’ve had quite a few ‘smoothie’ and ‘milkshake’ IPAs, but this one takes the cake for most well balanced while still being able to detect the hops. As for even more ridiculous, their Double Toasted Marshmallow IPA is basically a can of sugary-sweet alcohol. While it is fairly tasty, at 9.5 percent ABV, it’s a touch too sweet and boozy to enjoy much more than a few sips.” — Bri Burrows, Head Brewer, Big Rip Brewing Company, Kansas City, Mo.

“To quote a line from a beer bottle, ‘I didn’t choose hops, hops chose me.’ I love a good, crisp, dank West Coast IPA, one of my most favorite styles to brew. I’ve never been a fan of the hazy, fruity IPAs that have taken hold here in the states. Stone Brewing is one of my favorite breweries, so when a beer rep buddy of mine dropped off a 6-pack of Stone Neverending Haze at the brewery, I was surprised. But, being that Stone does some amazing beers, I gave it a try. This beer is oh-so hazy with flavors of citrus, pineapple, and strawberry. It comes in at 4 percent ABV and 35 IBUs. I have to say, I was impressed. In no way have I converted to a hazy, juicy IPA drinker but it is one of the best ones I’ve had.” — Joe Crockett, Brewmaster, Rockin’ JY Nano Craft Brewery, Ewa Beach, Hawaii

The article We Asked 10 Brewers: What’s the Most Ridiculous Smoothie IPA You’ve Had? appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/10-best-smoothie-ipas/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/we-asked-10-brewers-whats-the-most-ridiculous-smoothie-ipa-youve-had

[isaiahrippinus]

We Asked 10 Brewers: What’s the Most Ridiculous Smoothie IPA You’ve Had?

Parallels are often drawn between craft beer and music. The saying goes that brewery sellouts are much like your favorite indie band signing to a mainstream record label. Of course, there are exceptions, and what stands out for some is heavy metal and IPA. From stoner metal to technical black metal, and from session IPA to black IPA, the parallel genres contain seemingly innumerable subgenres and innovations.

One of the more, uh, divisive subcategories of IPA is the much-critiqued smoothie IPA, a style that many beer drinkers (this author included) struggle to recognize as an IPA. With incredibly high grams per liter of fruit, and outrageous levels of lactose, it’s a substyle that resembles little of its parent style. Indeed, many of the brewers contacted for this piece simply said they’d so far successfully avoided drinking a smoothie iPA. Regardless, few can deny its popularity — and many agree it is delicious, if a little ridiculous.

So, what are the most ridiculous smoothie IPAs professional brewers are drinking? We asked brewers around the world to chime in on which sweet, dessert-like smoothie IPAs take the cake.

“North Brew Co. Golden Milk Turmeric and Apricot sour with coconut. I’ve taken turmeric every day for a long time for its numerous health benefits and was intrigued to see how such a strong flavor could work in a beer. The beer poured a vibrant orange with a pillowy-white head. On first sip, the immediate flavor was apricot and sweet clementine. The turmeric is there in spades but somehow not overpowering, and works well with the sorbet-sourness. The coconut was present somewhere in the background, although, probably not a bad thing as it would stick out like a sore thumb if too prominent. I wasn’t sure how the mix of ingredients would blend together, but they did, and it made for a super-refreshing fruity sour that contributed to my overall health and supple joints!” — Maddie Culling, Shift Lead Brewer, Northern Monk Brew Co., Leeds, U.K.

“We’ve brewed our fair share of milkshake IPAs (well, four to be exact, so maybe fair share is a stretch), but we’ve always strived to make sure that the liquid has a semblance to beer over a milkshake. The most ridiculous one I’ve ever sampled was from a brewery who poured next to us at a festival — a mixed berry/vanilla milkshake IPA that had literal chunks when poured into my glass. I had to use the bathroom sink to rinse out the glass thoroughly afterwards because them fruit particles like to cling!” — Libby Crider, Owner & General Manager, 2nd Shift Brewing, St Louis

“I have never knowingly drank a smoothie IPA, apart from one which was some kind of banana Daiquiri number from a Swedish brewery that will remain nameless. I love me a Piña Colada but this was more aroma of baby shite and a texture like liquified blancmange. Almost as bad as the Negroni Saison from one of my favorite London breweries [served] at Moeder Lambic, of all places, in 2014… Ho hum. Pass the Pils, please.” — Olly Plimsoll Bartlett, Sales Manager, Stockholm Brewing Co., Stockholm, Sweden

“At a previous job, we brewed a beer with a famous Swedish brewery known for their bold graphic design, and ever-bold flavor combinations. The beer was to be the main beer for the second Beavertown Extravaganza, and as such had to live up to the hype of the previous beer for the festival, Heavy Lord, a 15 percent bourbon-barrel- aged imperial stout brewed with 3 Floyds from Munster, Indiana. The brewery we decided to pair up with for the second year was none other than Omnipollo and the beer was Mango Milk Power Breakfast IIPA. I still remember the look of disgust and fear on our faces when we heard we were going to be using whey protein isolate (which Omnipollo specified should be the highest grade possible) in a beer. I was even more shocked when Cosmo, our lead brewer at the time, was allowed to spend almost a grand on a pointless adjunct that would probably have coagulated in the kettle anyway and provided very little flavor or texture, or muscle-bulking benefits. The beer itself was actually really difficult to build, and I say ‘build’ because it was less about brewing and more about the technicalities of putting these flavors of hops, mango, coconut, lactose, vanilla and… protein isolate together in a harmonious and tasty way. The event came around, and of course Omnipollo had set up the beer to be poured from their soft serve dispense at their stall… I saw one poured into a coconut shell, and so I tasted it and thought, ‘yeah, that’s pretty good for what it is.’ I was proud that we had made a balanced, well-made Mango, Coconut, Vanilla, Lactose, Protein Shake Smoothie Imperial IPA… Now, where is my Pilsner?” — Jonathan Hamilton, Brewer, Newbarns Brewery, Edinburgh, Scotland

“Trick question: all smoothie IPAs are equally ridiculous.” — Ehren Schmidt, Master Blender, Mikkeller Baghaven, Copenhagen, Denmark

“The most ridiculous smoothie/milkshake IPA I’ve ever had was probably a sour black double IPA hopped with Citra and El Dorado and had wheat, malted oats, lactose, mandarin orange purée, tangerine purée, dark chocolate, vanilla beans, pink sea salt, and orange peel. When I drank it, it was a bit of a sensory overload: so many different flavors going across my palate as I drank; it was interesting but I don’t think I would go so far as to call it enjoyable. I don’t purchase them, but a friend of mine loves the style, and she keeps giving me different examples to try. Personally, I don’t really like the style; for one thing I don’t really like overly sweet beer (or sweet wine, or any other sweet beverage generally) and this style of IPA is aggressively sweet. The other reason why I don’t like smoothie/milkshake IPA is that I feel that the style is just a gimmick designed to garner attention in a crowded marketplace. It all screams, ‘Look at me! I’m an IPA that tastes like s’mores!’ or, ‘Look at me! I’m an IPA that tastes like strawberry pancakes!’ or, “Look at me! I’m an IPA with as much lactose as a glass of milk!’ And yes, all three of these examples are real. At the end of the day, I think that the people that like this style enjoy it because they have an affinity towards sweet, sugary things.” — Mark Ryan, Head Brewer, Jersey Girl Brewing Company, Hackettstown, N.J.

“I’m going to have to say Definitive Vanilla Dome with Mango. It’s not ridiculous in its absurdity, but in the way the flavors work together. The vanilla accentuated the sweetness while the acidity of the mango kept it from being cloying. It is a well-put-together beer.” — Peter Heggeman, Brewmaster, Bath Brewing Company, Bath, Maine

“Tired Hands, a name on most ‘hype bois’ lists of breweries to try, make absolutely stonking beer and along with Omnipollo helped spearhead and fetishize the milkshake/smoothie IPA. Their double vanilla double IPA is probably one of the most intense (read: ridiculous) IPAs I’ve had and yeah, it was decadent, but it was also a huge miss for me. Their house [yeast] strain and hefty use of oats brings heaps of vanilla for me in their beers anyway, but the sheer eye-watering amount of vanilla in that IPA was too much when paired with Citra, Mosaic, lactose (f*ck lactose!) and rumored apple in the mash for pectin haze. The hop profile was great (when is Citra and Mosaic not) but when the screaming sweetness from the lactose and vanilla washes in it’s overpowering, and detracted from the balance of the beer. The beer is perfect for a bottle share where a whole can is too much but a quarter of a can is more than enough. This sort of innovation ‘for innovation’s sake’ means that you’ll always have to one-up yourself and your competition when the haze bros come calling.” — Jack Delaney, Assistant Head Brewer, Alefarm Brewing, Greve, Denmark

“The most ridiculous ‘smoothie IPA’ I have ever drank would probably be something from Decadent Ales out of Mamaroneck, N.Y. Their IPAs are not packaged with as much fruit purée as the popular sour smoothie beers, but they are still loaded with tons of sweet and tangy fruit flavor. The Orange Cream Pop IPA packs so much flavor and a thick mouthfeel into one can, it’s a great summer replacement for an actual Creamsicle. Tons of creamy sweetness up front from additions of sugars and vanilla beans, followed up with a surprising kick of orange that lingers on the tongue. Plus, it clocks in at a steady 6 percent ABV, so don’t be afraid to enjoy more than one. I’ve had quite a few ‘smoothie’ and ‘milkshake’ IPAs, but this one takes the cake for most well balanced while still being able to detect the hops. As for even more ridiculous, their Double Toasted Marshmallow IPA is basically a can of sugary-sweet alcohol. While it is fairly tasty, at 9.5 percent ABV, it’s a touch too sweet and boozy to enjoy much more than a few sips.” — Bri Burrows, Head Brewer, Big Rip Brewing Company, Kansas City, Mo.

“To quote a line from a beer bottle, ‘I didn’t choose hops, hops chose me.’ I love a good, crisp, dank West Coast IPA, one of my most favorite styles to brew. I’ve never been a fan of the hazy, fruity IPAs that have taken hold here in the states. Stone Brewing is one of my favorite breweries, so when a beer rep buddy of mine dropped off a 6-pack of Stone Neverending Haze at the brewery, I was surprised. But, being that Stone does some amazing beers, I gave it a try. This beer is oh-so hazy with flavors of citrus, pineapple, and strawberry. It comes in at 4 percent ABV and 35 IBUs. I have to say, I was impressed. In no way have I converted to a hazy, juicy IPA drinker but it is one of the best ones I’ve had.” — Joe Crockett, Brewmaster, Rockin’ JY Nano Craft Brewery, Ewa Beach, Hawaii

The article We Asked 10 Brewers: What’s the Most Ridiculous Smoothie IPA You’ve Had? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/10-best-smoothie-ipas/ source https://vinology1.tumblr.com/post/619822966170075136

[wineanddinosaur]

We Asked 10 Brewers: What’s the Most Ridiculous Smoothie IPA You’ve Had?

Parallels are often drawn between craft beer and music. The saying goes that brewery sellouts are much like your favorite indie band signing to a mainstream record label. Of course, there are exceptions, and what stands out for some is heavy metal and IPA. From stoner metal to technical black metal, and from session IPA to black IPA, the parallel genres contain seemingly innumerable subgenres and innovations.

One of the more, uh, divisive subcategories of IPA is the much-critiqued smoothie IPA, a style that many beer drinkers (this author included) struggle to recognize as an IPA. With incredibly high grams per liter of fruit, and outrageous levels of lactose, it’s a substyle that resembles little of its parent style. Indeed, many of the brewers contacted for this piece simply said they’d so far successfully avoided drinking a smoothie iPA. Regardless, few can deny its popularity — and many agree it is delicious, if a little ridiculous.

So, what are the most ridiculous smoothie IPAs professional brewers are drinking? We asked brewers around the world to chime in on which sweet, dessert-like smoothie IPAs take the cake.

“North Brew Co. Golden Milk Turmeric and Apricot sour with coconut. I’ve taken turmeric every day for a long time for its numerous health benefits and was intrigued to see how such a strong flavor could work in a beer. The beer poured a vibrant orange with a pillowy-white head. On first sip, the immediate flavor was apricot and sweet clementine. The turmeric is there in spades but somehow not overpowering, and works well with the sorbet-sourness. The coconut was present somewhere in the background, although, probably not a bad thing as it would stick out like a sore thumb if too prominent. I wasn’t sure how the mix of ingredients would blend together, but they did, and it made for a super-refreshing fruity sour that contributed to my overall health and supple joints!” — Maddie Culling, Shift Lead Brewer, Northern Monk Brew Co., Leeds, U.K.

“We’ve brewed our fair share of milkshake IPAs (well, four to be exact, so maybe fair share is a stretch), but we’ve always strived to make sure that the liquid has a semblance to beer over a milkshake. The most ridiculous one I’ve ever sampled was from a brewery who poured next to us at a festival — a mixed berry/vanilla milkshake IPA that had literal chunks when poured into my glass. I had to use the bathroom sink to rinse out the glass thoroughly afterwards because them fruit particles like to cling!” — Libby Crider, Owner & General Manager, 2nd Shift Brewing, St Louis

“I have never knowingly drank a smoothie IPA, apart from one which was some kind of banana Daiquiri number from a Swedish brewery that will remain nameless. I love me a Piña Colada but this was more aroma of baby shite and a texture like liquified blancmange. Almost as bad as the Negroni Saison from one of my favorite London breweries [served] at Moeder Lambic, of all places, in 2014… Ho hum. Pass the Pils, please.” — Olly Plimsoll Bartlett, Sales Manager, Stockholm Brewing Co., Stockholm, Sweden

“At a previous job, we brewed a beer with a famous Swedish brewery known for their bold graphic design, and ever-bold flavor combinations. The beer was to be the main beer for the second Beavertown Extravaganza, and as such had to live up to the hype of the previous beer for the festival, Heavy Lord, a 15 percent bourbon-barrel- aged imperial stout brewed with 3 Floyds from Munster, Indiana. The brewery we decided to pair up with for the second year was none other than Omnipollo and the beer was Mango Milk Power Breakfast IIPA. I still remember the look of disgust and fear on our faces when we heard we were going to be using whey protein isolate (which Omnipollo specified should be the highest grade possible) in a beer. I was even more shocked when Cosmo, our lead brewer at the time, was allowed to spend almost a grand on a pointless adjunct that would probably have coagulated in the kettle anyway and provided very little flavor or texture, or muscle-bulking benefits. The beer itself was actually really difficult to build, and I say ‘build’ because it was less about brewing and more about the technicalities of putting these flavors of hops, mango, coconut, lactose, vanilla and… protein isolate together in a harmonious and tasty way. The event came around, and of course Omnipollo had set up the beer to be poured from their soft serve dispense at their stall… I saw one poured into a coconut shell, and so I tasted it and thought, ‘yeah, that’s pretty good for what it is.’ I was proud that we had made a balanced, well-made Mango, Coconut, Vanilla, Lactose, Protein Shake Smoothie Imperial IPA… Now, where is my Pilsner?” — Jonathan Hamilton, Brewer, Newbarns Brewery, Edinburgh, Scotland

“Trick question: all smoothie IPAs are equally ridiculous.” — Ehren Schmidt, Master Blender, Mikkeller Baghaven, Copenhagen, Denmark

“The most ridiculous smoothie/milkshake IPA I’ve ever had was probably a sour black double IPA hopped with Citra and El Dorado and had wheat, malted oats, lactose, mandarin orange purée, tangerine purée, dark chocolate, vanilla beans, pink sea salt, and orange peel. When I drank it, it was a bit of a sensory overload: so many different flavors going across my palate as I drank; it was interesting but I don’t think I would go so far as to call it enjoyable. I don’t purchase them, but a friend of mine loves the style, and she keeps giving me different examples to try. Personally, I don’t really like the style; for one thing I don’t really like overly sweet beer (or sweet wine, or any other sweet beverage generally) and this style of IPA is aggressively sweet. The other reason why I don’t like smoothie/milkshake IPA is that I feel that the style is just a gimmick designed to garner attention in a crowded marketplace. It all screams, ‘Look at me! I’m an IPA that tastes like s’mores!’ or, ‘Look at me! I’m an IPA that tastes like strawberry pancakes!’ or, “Look at me! I’m an IPA with as much lactose as a glass of milk!’ And yes, all three of these examples are real. At the end of the day, I think that the people that like this style enjoy it because they have an affinity towards sweet, sugary things.” — Mark Ryan, Head Brewer, Jersey Girl Brewing Company, Hackettstown, N.J.

“I’m going to have to say Definitive Vanilla Dome with Mango. It’s not ridiculous in its absurdity, but in the way the flavors work together. The vanilla accentuated the sweetness while the acidity of the mango kept it from being cloying. It is a well-put-together beer.” — Peter Heggeman, Brewmaster, Bath Brewing Company, Bath, Maine

“Tired Hands, a name on most ‘hype bois’ lists of breweries to try, make absolutely stonking beer and along with Omnipollo helped spearhead and fetishize the milkshake/smoothie IPA. Their double vanilla double IPA is probably one of the most intense (read: ridiculous) IPAs I’ve had and yeah, it was decadent, but it was also a huge miss for me. Their house [yeast] strain and hefty use of oats brings heaps of vanilla for me in their beers anyway, but the sheer eye-watering amount of vanilla in that IPA was too much when paired with Citra, Mosaic, lactose (f*ck lactose!) and rumored apple in the mash for pectin haze. The hop profile was great (when is Citra and Mosaic not) but when the screaming sweetness from the lactose and vanilla washes in it’s overpowering, and detracted from the balance of the beer. The beer is perfect for a bottle share where a whole can is too much but a quarter of a can is more than enough. This sort of innovation ‘for innovation’s sake’ means that you’ll always have to one-up yourself and your competition when the haze bros come calling.” — Jack Delaney, Assistant Head Brewer, Alefarm Brewing, Greve, Denmark

“The most ridiculous ‘smoothie IPA’ I have ever drank would probably be something from Decadent Ales out of Mamaroneck, N.Y. Their IPAs are not packaged with as much fruit purée as the popular sour smoothie beers, but they are still loaded with tons of sweet and tangy fruit flavor. The Orange Cream Pop IPA packs so much flavor and a thick mouthfeel into one can, it’s a great summer replacement for an actual Creamsicle. Tons of creamy sweetness up front from additions of sugars and vanilla beans, followed up with a surprising kick of orange that lingers on the tongue. Plus, it clocks in at a steady 6 percent ABV, so don’t be afraid to enjoy more than one. I’ve had quite a few ‘smoothie’ and ‘milkshake’ IPAs, but this one takes the cake for most well balanced while still being able to detect the hops. As for even more ridiculous, their Double Toasted Marshmallow IPA is basically a can of sugary-sweet alcohol. While it is fairly tasty, at 9.5 percent ABV, it’s a touch too sweet and boozy to enjoy much more than a few sips.” — Bri Burrows, Head Brewer, Big Rip Brewing Company, Kansas City, Mo.

“To quote a line from a beer bottle, ‘I didn’t choose hops, hops chose me.’ I love a good, crisp, dank West Coast IPA, one of my most favorite styles to brew. I’ve never been a fan of the hazy, fruity IPAs that have taken hold here in the states. Stone Brewing is one of my favorite breweries, so when a beer rep buddy of mine dropped off a 6-pack of Stone Neverending Haze at the brewery, I was surprised. But, being that Stone does some amazing beers, I gave it a try. This beer is oh-so hazy with flavors of citrus, pineapple, and strawberry. It comes in at 4 percent ABV and 35 IBUs. I have to say, I was impressed. In no way have I converted to a hazy, juicy IPA drinker but it is one of the best ones I’ve had.” — Joe Crockett, Brewmaster, Rockin’ JY Nano Craft Brewery, Ewa Beach, Hawaii

The article We Asked 10 Brewers: What’s the Most Ridiculous Smoothie IPA You’ve Had? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/10-best-smoothie-ipas/

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  The Great American Beer Festival kicked off last night for the 37th year. Along with the usual suspects of beer-themed costumes, a bagpipe procession and general drunken debauchery — the annual event had something new up its sleeve. Over 100,000 square feet of space, along with a new footprint, made its debut. Some say this is why the highly popular festival didn’t sell out at the record-breaking pace it’s used to and that ticket quotas must have been raised. That makes sense since for a Thursday session it felt packed even with the added space. With even higher attendance expected for the weekend sessions, we’re here to help you make a game plan so you don’t miss out.

Get Your Bearings

Photo by Kyle Cooper.

The festival has a new layout this year. Instead of breaking it down by regions, the breweries are listed alphabetically. But there’s a catch — it’s not just A to Z, front to back. It’s broken into two sections with the “Meet The Brewer” side having its own alphabetized order. That section is located towards the left side of the convention center when you enter from the ticket holders entrance. We understand why the festival changed the layout from being organized by region — but we have to say it was still hard to find the desired brewery and we did miss wandering around different regions to see what area delights we could find. So more than ever, you should download the app and have the layout ready. Pro tip: when telling people where to meet you, skip the letter and just tell them the section number. Since there aren’t duplicates section nunbers, it’s way easier to find and you’ll avoid the confusion by telling someone to meet you in “B” and then later realizing there are two different B sections (one in Meet the Brewer and one in the general area). So, key takeaway — study the map and get your bearings before diving in.

Where to Head First

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Once you know the lay of the land — you’ll need to prioritize on what breweries to hit up first. We have a more fleshed out list of “beers to hunt down” but after last night we have a few additions as well as some reminders. First — head to Weldwerks. The Greeley born brewery has amassed a big fandom since the last GABF and is going to draw crowds. They have brought a huge lineup to represent its 100 beers it brewed in the last year (yes, 100) but even still beers like the Peanut Butter Cup Medianoche is going to go fast. So make a B-Line to that brewery from the entrance. It’s fairly close to where you’ll come in, so if you’re quick you may not have to wait in a huge line. There are a few more breweries that had huge lines and kicked kegs you’ll need to check out next including Great Notion, More and New Glarus. More, in particular, kicked almost all of its kegs halfway through the fest, so if they are on your list you may want to make them stop number 2. We recommend getting the Henna: Swirl, “a chocolate and vanilla imperial stout that tastes like old fashion vanilla ice cream soaked in decadent chocolate syrup.”

If you’re lucky smart enough to have purchased a ticket to Paired (seriously, it’s worth it), there are some major standouts to not miss. First stop, grab a grilled oyster and a spicy “seafood pan roast” from Sam Talbot and then head straight to Mercantile’s booth where, if you’re lucky, you might meet the James Beard award-winning chef himself — Alex Seidel. Dishing out a simple but insanely delicious chicken sausage slider — Seidel lives up to the hype. Then, even if you’re not ready for dessert you must head straight to Arcana‘s spot (located diagonally to Mercantile’s booth in the far right-hand corner). This was hands down the best pairing of the night, and maybe the best beer and food pairing I’ve ever had (yes, it’s that good — but you have to do it right). The bite consists of a slightly savory and spicy meringue made with guajillo chiles, topped with a squash puree, fried dulse (kind of like seaweed) and sesame seeds. It’s good on its own, but if you pop one into your mouth and take a sip of Rahr & Son’s Drunken Santa (a spiced English ale aged in Bourbon barrels), the beer will dissolve the meringue and elevate all the flavors. The result is a spicy treat that hits all the right fall flavors.

Special Spots

New Holland’s Speakeasy.

Once you’ve knocked out all your must do’s, there are a few areas worth exploring. First, we stumbled upon a secret “speakeasy” over at New Holland. Attached to its normal pouring station, the Michigan brewery erected a faux brick pub where they are pouring special variations of its famous Dragon’s Milk. They only let groups of four in at a time, so you’ll have to stand in line — but if you love a good stout (including an intense double rum coconut edition), you won’t want to miss it. After you finish up the speakeasy, check out Ology Brewing out of Tallahassee. The line won’t be long, and there’s nothing fancy about the booth but it’s definitely a breakout brewery worth trying (shoutout to our friends at PorchDrinking.com for the recommendation). Give the Juice Lab a try and you’ll see what we mean. To finish out the night, don’t forget to stop by the newest activation — Jameson’s Caskmates Barrel Aged Beer Garden. The huge new spot is featuring only (you guessed it) barrel aged beers meaning the ABV is going to be higher. So if you’re still feeling like you can put down a few — head there to wrap up.

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With one day under its belt, GABF is already turning out to be another satisfying year. It may take you a few extra minutes to decipher the new layout, but we welcome the effort. Competition is rising (we’re looking at you, Shelton Brothers), and it’s important that GABF tries to innovate in order to stay on top. We hope to see more of this from the annual event in the coming years and encourage them to continue to think big.

All photography by Brittany Werges, unless otherwise noted.

Your Game Plan For GABF This Weekend The Great American Beer Festival kicked off last night for the 37th year. Along with the usual suspects of beer-themed costumes, a bagpipe procession and general drunken debauchery — the annual event had something new up its sleeve.