#maybe a bit of a vent

[kreeeeeez]

[meratyn50]

This school year is tough. Getting into medschool, when there's a 12 % chance is hard. Studying is hard. Trying to understand all those things no one told me at school is hard. But I have to do this. For myself, for all the people that believe in me, for all the lives I might save in the future. I have to keep going. I cry. I cry a lot, because I'm so so scared I won't make it. This is my biggest dream since my younger disabled brother was born and I just can't handle the thought of not being able to do it. I have to.

[rainbowsandchocolate]

Religion doesn't make people evil more than anything else in society. People are just people and they sometimes do 'bad' things.

Religion also isn't acceptable because 'it gives some people comfort' and that rethoric bothers me so much. Religion isn't good or bad. It's just a thing that some people have and it doesn't have to be justified (and it cannot be)

Once again begging anti-theists to realize that to get to a world without religion you’d have to commit cultural genocide. So maybe you shouldn’t push for that

[romatito]

coloring experiments with some displeased españas 🍅 i always love digging beneath his optimism to find the negativity underneath thats Just as passionate -- its one of the most fascinating things about him to me

closeups under the cut

[son-of-crows-and-rats]

I've rambled about this game before in tags and while I have a lot of complex thoughts on Curly as a character and what he should have done and how fandom responses and discussions have had good and bad takes (and it's all complicated and has layers which is a core point of the game!) one take I've never seen explicitly said for "Curly should have xyz" which I'm surprised to not see is "Curly should have asked Anya what she wanted". We don't know how much he would have listened or if her plan would make sense, but I think it says a lot about how the game's POVs (and some of the fandom) show Anya with little agency and someone who things happen to not someone who does things, and the men on board as the ones who make decisions and decide the course of the narrative for better or worse. I've seen people saying Anya should have been able to get angry and kill Jimmy, and people saying not all victims want violence and it's okay if she just wants to escape and move on. There's also arguments saying Curly should have reported Jimmy, shot him, put him in cryostasis, etc. and arguments saying Curly wasn't being malicious and that he was worried about things like their pay being docked, being locked with that conflict for months, not understanding the situation, etc. And it is complicated! But part of that male-centric view the game critiques (and fandom is against but accidentally perpetuates at times) is saying that it should have been Curly's choice at all. We don't know if Anya would have wanted to have shift scheduling and where she stayed and who spoke to Jimmy changed so he's kept away from her and to leave it at that. We don't know if she would have wanted to report him directly to the company's HR. We only see her when she's at her breaking point and even then her goal is to defend herself and prevent Jimmy from harming anyone. Anything past that is speculation. Obviously certain plans like a murder suicide or something like that would make sense for Curly to be against, but he never bothered to check. He said he would do anything, but didn't ask what that "anything" should be. Not all victims are the same, and not everybody has the same priorities. Part of getting rid of that male-centric toxic rape culture is letting women and victims have their own voices and decide their own paths, and framing the ideal situation as "the man in charge should have decided to protect the woman in xyz way because that's what she needed" instead of "the man in charge should have asked the woman what she needed and protected her that way" is still ultimately one man having control of everything. And we know from the game that doesn't work, even if he's a "good man that means well" and thinks he's inferring what's best. The only way to make sure victims get the support they need is to ask

[snufflepup]

Why is your attention on anything else other than me ? Am I not good enough ? What do I need to do to catch it. To keep it. To make you only look at me.

[notanotherblogbyadumbass]

Whoopsies our fear of fakeclaimin set in so maybe not... fuck. Sorry dudes. If we do do it it would be a lot later cuz well. Fear of bein told we are "out of character" when we are the characters. Fuck. Stupid fuckin brain. -Pickles

Basically facts about us in the form of headcanons since we are a little different from canon. If this doesn't get answers we might do it we might not. -Murderface

[inkly-heart]

please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤

🌱

[natsmagi]

honestly the more i hear about engstars and its TLs the more i absolutely dread the inevitable release of poltergeist and what may ensue from it, bc if if the translators themselves are already invalidating arashis identity then i Really Truly do not want to see how theyll translate natsume and tsumugis microaggressions/transphobia towards her. esp since ive noticed a rise in people being comfortably transphobic towards her, and i REALLY do not wish to see natsume and tsumugi being stupid fucking morons be used as evidence to discredit her

and i think this is all the more reason why its VERY IMPORTANT for engstars to DIRECTLY ACKNOWLEDGE arashi and her gender. bc sometimes characters are STUPID and RUDE and APATHETIC. enstars is a story with NUANCED and FLAWED CHARACTERS, and when a character is being a fucking asshole youre meant to PROVE THEM WRONG. but they dont even acknowledge arashi as a girl themselves. so, if you do use engstars, please keep pressuring them bc omfg this is so bad and i can only see it getting worse

[sincerely-sofie]

Had a long night and made a vent piece to help me through it. I’m doing better now, but I figured it might be good to post— hopefully it can help someone feel less alone.

I call this thing “The Gravedigger.”

[ellilyre]

That's wrong I don't have "emotional issues" and "self sabotaging tendencies" I just am Achilles of Phtia irl but you wouldn't understand

[paintedpuppy]

its so weird when ppl talk about common experiences with autism or ADHD when you can't relate to those.

Like I don't remember ever being some isolated weird kid when I was little who didn't get what was wrong with me, I was friendly with a ton of ppl in my class despite being a bit weird until I got older. (But maybe ppl r talking abt when they got older not when they were little)

Same with ADHD but I don't get that feeling of having multiple thoughts unless I actively try to think multiple thoughts. I see a ton of ppl talk abt this with adhd n I don't experience it when it seems to be nearly universal. My thoughts are a bit fast sometimes but not always.

[soysaucevictim]

Stick a fork in me, I'm done! I'm done! Stick a fork in it, I'm-!

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

including the anons. i've also had enough of this lady's bs. like can someone throw Ragatha into therapy please?

i'm actually frustrated at this character in a tumblr blog because she is just so stubborn in the way she is thinking. that might be intentional but still. It's like she's defending everyone but when you apply the same logic to her, she's like "no it doesn't count for ME!" it just shows how much (or little) she thinks of herself, and the part where she doesn't think of herself as "human", but that same thought doesn't apply to the rest of the cast? just. grr. It's like she's intent on hating herself and making sure she never has a sense of self worth, which is also probably intended.

thanks mod bee for making me want to hug my screen and also smash in into the floor like a bug. I haven't been this invested in something like this for a long time!

hsfhsf this is a bit strange to me in a positive way cause i never expected anyone to feel this much for a silly tadc tumblr ask blog ! it surprises me everytime

i did intend ragatha to be frustrating . there's something interesting behind a character that's so hard to hate but just so , so hard to Not Throttle either . she's so fucked up in the head that it's tempting to help her , but it's going to be a very hard and frustrating journey because it's untangling Years of trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms . absolutely horrible . i'm giving her an ipad and putting on youtube kids

[nottsangel]

Hii, this isn’t meant as a hate ask or anything, but does it take you awhile to post asks? my friend also reads your stuff and complains about how you don’t always answer asks or answer them after awhile. i tried telling them that you most likely get a lot of asks considering how much you answer already and the fact you have more then 15k followers.

i’m also not sure but i’ve seen other writers saying that asks glitch and once they get the notification they can’t actually see or answer the ask, is that true? sorry if this seems passive aggressive and that it’s really not meant to be and i don’t usually send asks

i explained about it here and here i explained that lately answering asks and being on here feels more like a job than just a hobby. i’m sorry but i’m not machine so you can’t expect me to reply to your asks immediately. tumblr is not my job, i have my own life besides this too and it just really upsets me when people try to pressure me or come into my inbox to complain, when im doing as much as i can while i have personal stuff going on too. thank you for trying to explain my side to your friend though, because it really upsets me that they are complaining about me as if i owe them anything ? i’m trying to answer asks and write as much as i can for free, in my own time, and trust me when i say im trying my best while thinking of my own mental health too. yes i do get quite a lot of asks, which im really grateful about and it makes me really happy! but if i would answer them all, i’d be busy all night and day, with no time for myself anymore. im just really, really burned out right now and on edge and to be very honest i don’t enjoy being here that much anymore because of the pressure i feel. so yes, i probably do get all your asks and no, i don’t ignore you because i want to. i literally just can’t answer everything ! :(

also i just want to mention that not everything i wrote is directed at just you anon. i get asks from other ppl too trying to pressure me or complain and they aren’t always nice. thank you for being so respectful when asking, i appreciate it

[meow-parties]

I've got my eye on the prize,

My beady eyes are alight!

(Please, no tags implying ship.)