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(BLLK) wherever u go i won't be far to follow
𝜗𝜚 BLUE LOCK VARIOUS: LILLIES.
a/n: [fem!reader] GAIS GAIS GAIS dew we fw the bllk posts 🤤it seems yes!!!!!! sorry for the tag !!@infpdoll @amelielovess for u<3
— characters: chigiri, rin, bachira
part one ! ♡ isagi, kunigami, nagi, reo
chigiri hyoma ; H.S.K.T - leehi, wonstein
can we imagine him sitting on the bathroom counter as you gently massage the jade roller across his face after a face mask. his hair is freshly washed (you brushed it 100 times on each side) so the room smells like peony and coconut, shower is foggy and little bits of his crimson baby hairs seeping out of his headband (〃´𓎟`〃) don't forget to kiss his forehead!!!!!!!!
gives the best?? massages???? maybe it's because of his high maintenance leg, used to doing it on himself so when you groan in pain after a scenic date, he most definitely wastes no time rubbing all the sore out of your legs
PEAK of his day is when he first wakes up and you guys brush your teeth next to each other, he knows sooner or later he'll be under your grasp as your thumb lightly rubs under his eye, rubbing away all excess sleep while your other hand runs through his hair.
secret kpop stan chigiri... totally not self-projecting HUH WHAT WHO SAID THAT what is a kpop stan uhm ! is a gg stan, gets defensive when someone discredits his faves and most DEFO a kiss of life (julie biased), le serrafim (sakura biased) and itzy (yuna biased) fan. probably owns a twt fan acc, i said what i said 🥰
by the way, don't tell him you notice when blush graces his face when you delicately graze the side of your finger across his lashes.
rin itoshi ; soft spot - keshi
rin itoshi who goes completely quiet when it comes to you. not because he secretly doesn't like you or anything, but quite the opposite (=´∇`=) ! when he sees you, he's completely speechless and ends up staring at the girl who just stole his heart (for an uncomfortably large amount of time). when he sees almost anybody, he always has some sort of venom to spit but when he sees you, he can barely find any words for love 🥹
FACE MASK VICTIM NO.2 !!!!! lowkey flinches a little (affectionate) because he more used to the hot eye masks he gets at the convenience store, when the cold peach mask makes contact with his face, he gets a lil shiver nd' it's the cutest thing
idc how generic i sound HORROR MOVIE DATES!!!!!!!! i'm so here for horror nerd rin, i find it the cutest thing on earth and i just just just. waiter waiter one glass of rin please ! if you're scared (me), he tells you when there's a jump scare and covers your eyes when there's gore or when there's a freakazoid on screen
loves to sit in silence and play horror games too, whether it be the bathhouse, platform 8, as long as it's with you <3 secret valo/splatoon sweat
face scrunch when you push his bangs back n' give him a peck at the crown of his hair (;´□`)/! not a physically affectionate guy but with instincts as sharp as his you wonder why he just lets you pepper his face with kisses...
baby face.
bachira meguru ; never ever getting rid of me - waitress, the musical
HUGS FROM BEHIND!!!🥹 puts his hands in front of your eyes and tells you to "guess who!!!" but not in a super senior way but more like a "y/nie y/nie guess who guess who!!!!!" way. he's such a cutie patoot i'm dead
music taste range is INSANNEEE biggest fan of babymetal, knows every lyric to hitorie or 2019 genre gacha sabrina carpenter die-hard, white girl radio enjoyer i don't make the rules (me too bachira, me too.)
LOCKS IN AT THE ARCADE (he hasn't won anything yet. key word YET!!). his attention span per machine is very limited but tries his absolute hardest into getting a plush he noticed your eyes wouldn't stray from and stays there for a while, persuaded he's guaranteed to get it. "look, look y/n!!! it's right there i'm sure i can get it. one more try?" same with gachapons. how can you not love this man
PDA lowkey isn't a thing and tackles you when he feels fit. loves to spin you around and does not give a damn if you have two left feet, an unconditional loverboy and is just the cutest (precious) (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.゚
i am going to bake him into a cupcake.
matching absolutely everything!!! keychains, exchanged shoe laces, patches, bracelets. on the topic of fashion he love love loves when you wear things that are a little odd (this is for the fashion girlies) like mismatching tights, oddly coloured charms on necklaces and/or chunky glasses :3
finds minion facebook memes and laughs.
#bllk imagines#bllk x reader#blue lock#blue lock fluff#blue lock x reader#blue lock scenarios#bllk fluff#blue lock headcanons#bllk headcanons#blue lock imagines#chigiri x reader#rin x reader#bachira x reader#rin itoshi x reader#bachira meguru x reader#chigiri hyoma x reader
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surprise | myg
this is an extra chapter of the so it goes series.
—pairing: rapper!yoongi x reader
—rating: +18
—genre: established relationship, ex fwb, angst, fluff
—warnings/tags: implied smut, lots of angst, fluff, subtle talk about aborti0n, DON’T trust my poor knowledge in contraceptive methods and use condoms!! english is not my first language btw
—words: 7.6k
a/note: this is proof that if you ask me enough, I'll finish writing my wips!! it's been a long time but I finally get to post the surprise drabble I've been planning and it makes me sososo happy to come back to this couple 😭 I missed them so much I just hope you missed them as much as I did!! BTW I was planning to post this after two other drabbles, so if you read any additional information it's because this was intended to be posted after that, but i wanted to post this so badly😭 so here it is!! hehe anyway enjoy!!
A few years ago, when you and Yoongi were beginning to be a thing and you still lived with your best friend, Nayeon, while he lived alone in his big apartment, he picked up this habit of begging you to stay the night with him every time you visited, even though he knew you couldn’t. You used to say no, trying hard to ignore the way he kissed your neck and sneaked his hands under your blouse while explaining that, if you said yes, he was willing to wake up early and drive you to your first class the next day. You'd think that after the first or maybe even the second time he tried this, the effect would wear off, but you ended up agreeing every single time.
Back then everything was so new to him, he couldn’t remember the last time he liked someone that much, he didn’t know what was happening to him and why he wanted to spend every night with you, why he couldn’t keep his hands off you. Sure you were pretty, sure you were beautiful and funny, and your lips tasted like strawberries and you looked at him like one else ever did, maybe it had something to do with that, who knew? The only thing he knew was that he felt like a teenager everytime you kissed him, or every time you ran your fingers through his hair or every time you were naked under him, or on top of him, or anywhere close to him for that matter.
It took Yoongi a few hits, ten drunk nights and way too many days to realize that you were the only thing that he needed, that the world only made sense if you were by his side.
With time, Yoongi learned to kiss slowly, to make love slowly, to take things with ease; he learned that you were going nowhere, but there were still those moments where he felt he couldn’t get enough of you; like tonight, to be exact.
You were sure that in the last four years of dating Yoongi you had made it clear enough that you were a city girl, and you were certain your boyfriend knew that. You loved the noise and the chaos—the people bumping into each other on the streets, the busy days and nights. It wasn’t something you planned to give up anytime soon; this was the perfect time in your life to embrace the city's hustle. You’d have plenty of time for a quiet life when you got older.
Yoongi liked the city too—he enjoyed the view from his apartment window and the convenience of ordering food at any hour of the night. But he also loved road trips and sleeping in the middle of nowhere in a tent, bonfires, fishing and swimming in lakes. Yoongi had always been into camping, but instead of planning a trip with his good old friend Seokjin, who didn’t mind sleeping in a tent and loved fishing, he invited you—someone who hated bugs and couldn’t stand the idea of walking more than three minutes to find a bathroom.
You were still trying to decide whether not being able to say no to Yoongi was a problem, but it was his last free week before going back on tour. When he looked at you with starry eyes and asked you to go on a trip with him, which included spending the last two days sleeping in a tent, you couldn’t say no.
It was only two days, you were sure you could endure not sleeping in a proper bed for that long if that made him happy, you made the effort of not complaining just for tonight, after all you only had tickets to go visit him on tour in exactly five weeks, you were going to miss him.
It was easy not to complain when Yoongi’s plans for your last night together were exclusively romantic; he cooked for you, built a campfire and spent the rest of the night stargazing until it was too cold to be outside, and when you were inside the tent he made sure to have hot water bags under the blankets, but they were no use when he was determined to get you naked.
Did you mention that it was still winter?
Now you were trapped in a tent with him, straddling him as he kissed you deeply and gripped your thighs, begging you to ride him against your lips. That was when you started to complain.
You felt your whole body shivering when Yoongi’s warm hands pulled your t-shirt over your head, leaving you almost naked. You hugged your torso, attempting to cover your breasts as you sat straight on top of your boyfriend, who was comfortably laying on the sleeping bag, fully clothed.
“Yoongi, I’m cold.” You whined.
“C’mon, it’s going to wear off” He tried to convince you, rubbing his palms over your shoulders to keep you warm. You shook your head, laying your head on his still clothed chest as he covered your bare back with the blanket. It was easy for him to say that when he was wearing sweatpants and a long sleeve t-shirt.
You knew that Yoongi was already missing you. He was fully aware that after tonight, he wouldn’t see you for a whole month and he wanted to make it last as long as he could, to hold you and kiss you as much as you let him. He had gotten too used to you—used to sleeping and waking up next to you, having you all to himself—but it became a problem every time he had to leave for work, it was impossible not to miss you. You still had texts, calls and FaceTime, but he was also taking into account time difference, work, and the fact that all of that wasn’t the real thing. And if you were honest, you were already missing him too.
“What if I catch a cold?” You mumbled over his shirt.
Yoongi kissed the top of your head, running his hands down your bare back and sending chills to your spine. How was he able to get you almost naked but you didn’t even get the chance to take off his t-shirt? “It’s not that cold.” He said, not willing to give up.
You raised your head to look at him, frowning “Says the person who’s still fully clothed.”
He huffed, flipping you over to leave you under him. Suddenly, warmth rushed over you as you felt his body hovering over your frame. He was quick to take off his own t-shirt, trying to make you happy, but he quickly realized that maybe you were right, it was fucking cold, but he wasn’t going to back down.
“Happy now?”
“No, it’s freezing out there!” You kept complaining “Why do we have to do it without clothes? I don’t mind clothes, I actually think that doing it while being dressed is quite hot.”
You threw your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you. Even though you were in fact turned on from the kissing and grinding session you had a few moments ago, you still were thinking about the logistics of fucking inside the tent.
Yoongi scoffed, amused. “And I actually think that you being naked is quite hot, too.” He said, sneaking his face in the crook of your neck to trail down little kisses, nibbling the skin softly. “C’mon, baby. I won’t see you for weeks, let me make love to you.”
You tried not to roll your eyes. “You had been using that excuse the whole trip.” And you’ve fallen for it every time. His plans for this trip were very simple: fishing, camping and fucking you on every opportunity he had. It was not like you were against it, it has been a long time since you and him had time only for the two of you.
“But isn’t it true?” He gazed up, looking at you with his soft eyes, his hair falling like a curtain on his face. “I’m gonna miss you.”
You took a second to observe the tenderness of his features, to take in the softness of his voice, and for a moment there you knew why it was so hard to say no to him, you just didn’t want to say no.
You closed your eyes, scrunching your nose. “We are gonna make such a mess.” You whined, but he just chuckled, knowing he won.
“I’ll take care of it, I promise.” He said with a soft voice, reaching for your lips as he roamed his hands towards your chest. You didn’t exactly know how he was going to “take care of it”, but his hands were gentle, the kiss was slow and when he opened his mouth to let his tongue slip past your lips, you were too into it to keep protesting about it.
As you sat on the cold bathroom floor of the home you shared with Yoongi, you tried to remind yourself of two basic things that you hoped would stop the sinking feeling in your chest. First, three weeks without Yoongi never killed anyone, this was something you knew from experience, Yoongi’s job demanded him to travel all the time, you were used to it, or at least you were supposed to be. Second, you were an independent woman (right?). You have been an independent woman since you were eighteen when you moved to Seoul alone, since you started a new life in a new city on your own. You woke up at six am everyday, worked hard your whole shift, paid the bills every month and managed to keep your house in order every day of the week. Sure, you loved Yoongi, and he loved you, and you could never imagine a life without him, but you didn’t need him, you wanted him. He wasn’t an extension of you, you were your own person, but why did you feel like the world was about to end right now if he was not there?
Crying your heart out like a five year old kid, you remembered the only time you had to take a pregnancy test, and how it looked nothing like this.
Four years ago when you and Yoongi still didn’t kiss in front of your friends, when he still thought twice before holding your hand in public but still had the nerve of sneaking in your bed. That seemed like a hundred years ago, a universe away, but no, it was not too long ago when you were stubborn and kind of irresponsible for agreeing with him as he kissed your neck and ran his hands down your thighs while asking you if it was okay for him to “pull out” that night, since both of you completely forgot about condoms. You winced at the memory, but in your defense, you were too far gone to say no, take a cold shower and kiss him goodnight. You agreed only for that night, but three weeks later you were three days late and losing your mind, the only logical thing to do was to take a pregnancy test that, of course, came negative, but to this day you couldn’t shake the anxious feeling that you felt in your stomach those minutes before the negative sign appeared, and you couldn’t forget how pale Yoongi’s face turned when you told him about it.
And now you were there, one hand covering your face while the other held a pregnancy test—only this time, it was positive.
The one on your hand wasn’t the only one, no. There were two other positive tests laying on the floor in front of you, and even if you wanted to not trust the results, they couldn’t be all wrong, right? The plus sign was very clear in each one of them and you were five days late. The problem was that you were on the pill, you had been on the pill for the last couple years and this never happened to you, this wasn’t something normal or a simple mistake.
You breathed out, trying not to panic. You got up on your bare feet to look at yourself in the mirror. You were a mess, that was not a surprise at all, your face was all swollen for the amount of time you have been crying and your hair was a big nest above your head. You washed your face, attempting to remain calm and evaluating your options. You glanced at your phone resting on the sink, and an overwhelming urge to call your mother surged within you, but as you imagined how the conversation would go, you quickly realized it wouldn’t be a good idea.
Your mother was not nosy, but she could be a little dense, a bit complicated, and it was not what you needed right now. You were sure that calling her while having a mental breakdown was going to drive her crazy, and consequently, drive you crazy too. She would want to know every single detail, date, place and hour to understand the situation better, and you would have to explain something you didn’t even understand yet. You could imagine the conversation, she would try to explain every contraceptive method like you were a teenager and ask why you didn’t use a condom, because you knew she would ask, and you didn’t want to explain to her how you went on vacation with your boyfriend to have a bunch of condomless sex, the thought alone made you want to vomit.
Calling your mother was not an option, not only because talking to her on the phone was complicated enough, but because she was in a different city, which brought you to discard calling Nayeon too, who was on vacation with her boyfriend (yes, boyfriend, that sounded ridiculous to you, too.)
The last option was something you couldn't even fathom doing unless you were desperate, but you know what they say, desperate times call desperate measures, so you blew your nose, brushed your hair and called the only person in this city who would come running without asking any questions, Jungkook.
Breaking the news to the person in front of you wasn’t easy, especially when the words you needed to say were as unreal as they sounded. You didn’t look much better, you spent the next thirty minutes that Jungkook took to arrive crying, as Holly, the brown fluffy dog, looked at you like you just went mad, the worst thing was that you weren’t far from it. It was difficult to keep it together when your mind refused to look at the bright side of things, when you couldn’t call your mom and Yoongi was in another country, but when Jungkook rang your bell and entered through the door, you tried your best to smile at him and act like you weren’t in the middle of a mental breakdown.
Your act wasn’t convincing, your friend looked at you like you were about to tell him that you killed someone and you needed help to hide the body.
You would have never recur to a man other than Yoongi for this kind of situation, but you decided to trust your ten years of friendship with the man in front of you and hope that he could be of any help.
“You are what?” Said Jungkook, standing in the middle of the living room with his eyes wide open, trying to understand the meaning of your words.
There, in your pajamas and your hands on your hips, you closed your eyes shut, sighing. “Jungkook…” You said through gritted teeth.
“I’m serious.” He said, letting his backpack drop to the floor. “I crossed half the city to get here, are you not kidding me right now?”
“I’m serious, too!” You whined “I’m not kidding, I don’t know what to do.”
He slowly approached you, walking towards the couch to take a seat. He suddenly felt his blood pressure dropping, his stomach sinking and his mouth dry as if he was the one developing a human organism inside his body. “Are you sure?” He murmured. “Are you not having one of those crises you had when you were a teenager? I remember that time in college when you freaked out when you thought you were pregnant because some guy-”
“Jungkook, I’m sure.” You interrupted him, already knowing the whole story, but this time it was not just you overreacting. “My period is late and I took three tests, all positive.”
He gulped, letting the room fall silent for a few seconds as both of you contemplated what that meant. You knew he was trying his best not to freak out, so you were grateful for his reaction, at least he didn’t faint like you expected him to do, but he was still white as a sheet, trying to find a solution in his head as though you had told him he was the one who was going to be a father.
“What are we gonna do?” He said under his breath.
“What am I gonna do?” You corrected him, sitting next to him “You are supposed to help me.”
Jungkook took one hard look at you, looking terrified. “How?”
“God, I shouldn’t have called you.” You rolled your eyes.
“No, I mean, what do you want to do?” He said. “Did you tell Yoongi?”
“Of course not.” You replied, feeling your eyes getting teary, but still trying to hold back.
“Do you want to… tell him?” He continued to ask.
You sniffed “I mean, I don’t know how.” You pouted “I’m seeing him in two weeks, I don’t know if I can wait that long.”
He threw himself back against the couch, sinking in the cushions. It was like Jungkook’s life flashed before his eyes, how come he was discussing this with you right now? He still felt like you were kids, there was no way you were pregnant right now. “How did this happen?” He murmured to himself, looking at the blank wall in front of him.
“Is it necessary for me to explain it?” You cried, snuggling closer to him as you rested your head on his shoulder.
“Did you not use condoms?” He scolded you like he was your mother.
You shifted your weight uneasily, eyes darting down to your socks. “We don’t… use condoms.” You cleared your throat, the words coming out hushed and hesitant. “I’m on the pill, I don’t know what happened.”
On second thought, that wasn’t something Jungkook wanted to know. It was like finding out how his parents had sex, he squirmed at the thought, shifting in his place. “Can you not call your doctor?” He suggested, his voice laced with uncertainty.
You paused, considering it. It was probably the most logical thing Jungkook could say, but you weren’t sure if your doctor could do anything about it.
“Even if I call her and tell her what's going on, it’s not like I can get a refund.” You huffed, a dry smile tugging at your lips.
He raised an eyebrow. “Well…” he began, dragging the word out. “In some way, you could get a refund.” You blinked at him, opening your eyes wide in surprise. “I mean only if you want to!”
You were so nervous you wanted to laugh. It wasn’t like the thought didn’t cross your mind for a moment, but only when you tried to evaluate your options; if you were being honest, you couldn’t see yourself getting rid of the baby—or whatever organism had been living rent-free in your body for the past three weeks. Jungkook looked terrified that you might explode at him, especially when it seemed like you were on the verge of tears, but his question made you think, if you didn’t want to get rid of it, what was that you wanted to do?
You sank your shoulders, feeling completely lost. “That’s the problem.” You murmured “I don’t know if I want a refund.”
Jungkook stood still for a moment, his eyes softening as he watched you. His thoughts swirled, trying to grasp the weight of your words.
"Would Yoongi want a refund?" He asked, his tone lighter than before, but the sincerity in his voice was unmistakable. Despite the attempt at humor, his eyes betrayed the concern he was masking with the joke.
A shaky exhale left your lips, the weight of uncertainty pulling you down. “I don’t know…” Was the only thing you could say.
“But do you know if Yoongi wanted… kids?” He said as if that was a forbidden word. “I mean, do you want them?”
It wasn’t like you didn’t know what Yoongi wanted. You sighed, suddenly remembering all those times when the idea of a family came up in conversations, between drunken thoughts, before falling asleep, at dinner with his parents and on the ride home when he apologized on his mother’s behalf when she asked when you were going to give her grandchildren. His soft eyes, his hand on your tight and the view of the future laying in front of you like a promise. The thought warmed your heart for a moment, but the truth was that there was a difference between talking about it and actually having kids.
“We’ve talked about it…” You admitted. “But we’ve never planned it, let alone now that he’s on tour.”
Jungkook hummed, still thinking.
“But you both agreed to have kids at some point.” He affirmed, and you just nodded.
It was in that moment where you realized you were crying again, tears slowly falling down your cheeks as you stood in silence, contemplating the overwhelming weight of the situation.
“Fuck, don’t cry.” Jungkook said, rushing to wrap his arms around you, he enveloped you in a tight hug. As soon as you buried your face into his chest, something inside you gave away. You began sobbing against his hoodie, the tears flowed freely and uncontrollable, unable to hold yourself back. “C’mon, it’s okay, you’re okay. Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” His voice was soft but firm, holding you tightly. He pulled back just enough to look at you, his thumb gently wiping away a tear from your cheek, his gaze filled with nothing but concern. “You don’t need to have it all figured out right now. Let’s go step by step, okay?”
You nodded, feeling like a kid lost in the mall. “Okay, if you want to see him as soon as possible, you have to change your flight first.” He said, but you shook your head, trying not to panic.
“He’s going to ask why.” You said, your voice hoarse “What am I going to tell him?”
He kept silent, his eyes fixed on a distant point as he was trying to come up with a solution.
“Let’s not tell him.” He proposed.
“What do you mean let’s not tell him?”
“I’m leaving for tour next weekend, you should come with me and not tell him.” He kept going “Say that you missed him and you wanted to surprise him or some shit like that, and when you get him alone you talk to him about this.”
Now you were reminded that Jungkook had to leave to join Yoongi on tour in just a few days, you completely forgot about that. It was not like you couldn’t get on an airplane alone, but if your friend was going to be there you were sure it would make things easier.
You couldn’t believe it. After so many years you were there, sad and upset and still with the same idiot as a friend, willing to follow whatever plan he was going to make for you. You didn’t know if the plan actually sounded good or you were losing your mind for listening to Jungkook.
“Jungkook, Yoongi texts me all the time, he facetimes me everyday. It’s impossible to travel to another country without him noticing.”
“It’s not impossible, I’m gonna help you.” He insisted “If he texts you, you say you’re at home, if he wants to facetime you, you say you’re busy, turn off your location, it shouldn't be difficult.”
“It is difficult, what if he realizes I turned off my location?” You groaned, running your finger through your hair exasperatedly.
“You say it stopped working or something! C’mon, I thought you were smarter than me.”
You threw yourself back against the couch, crossing your arms on your chest, it was almost comical that you were considering the idea. Your friend could sense the hesitation in every move you made, he could only hope that you agreed because his mind couldn’t come up with another idea if his life depended on it.
“Jungkook, if he suspects anything…” You raised a finger, digging it on his chest.
“He won’t suspect a thing,” He affirmed confidently. “When have any of my plans ever gone wrong? Never. Trust me, by the time you get back home, you’ll have already decided to name your baby after me.”
You rolled your eyes, unable to hide your laugh and punching him in the arm playfully. The tension was still there, and you still felt an inexplicable ache in your chest that wasn’t going away anytime soon, but being there with Jungkook made you feel that this wasn’t the end of the world, nor of your life, but the beginning of it.
Jungkook's plan wasn’t the master plan he had been bragging about the whole airplane ride, but it worked. A few days later, after a few calls and arrangements to change your flight, after another three mental breakdowns and several crying sessions in the shower, you had somehow arrived in Berlin without Yoongi suspecting a thing. You had managed to dodge facetime calls and weird questions, maybe Yoongi missed you so much that he didn’t have time to question why you couldn’t wait two more weeks to see him when you arrived at the hotel and hugged in the hall, because, if he were honest, he couldn’t wait two more weeks to see you either.
Yoongi was happy with the surprise, you went to see his show that night and after arriving to his hotel room he made love to you like he hadn’t seen you in a year, kissing your neck, grabbing your waist, murmuring things in your ear, saying how much he loved you, how much he missed you. For a moment it was like nothing changed, the two of you sharing what happened these last three weeks tangled between sheets, laughing between kisses as you ignored why you were there in the first place.
“You can’t keep spending time away from me.” He said, hovering over you as he left a small kiss on your lips. “I’ll keep you in my pocket if it’s necessary.”
You sighed, knowing that you couldn’t keep this a secret for much longer, but for tonight, you’ll let it slide.
You didn’t know when you were returning home, but you promised yourself that before leaving for the next city, you would have to break the news to Yoongi, which was becoming more difficult by the second, because if you were good at something, that was procrastinating. It was absurd, a few days ago you were crying because all you wanted to do was to have your boyfriend by your side and now you couldn’t even look him in the eye without feeling like you were about to throw up, and your mind wasn’t helping at all. All those doubts invaded your head, attempting to drive you crazy, making you believe you were not ready to tell him yet.
Three days later, when you finished the last show in Berlin, Jungkook gave you a knowing look as you were leaving the arena holding Yoongi’s hand. He knew that you haven’t said a thing to Yoongi yet, he was all over you like he was your mother, asking you if you were okay, if you needed anything, when you were going to tell Yoongi, it almost made you regret telling him, but you knew he was right.
A night was all you needed, just one night to gather your thoughts and practice what you were going to say. You couldn’t keep declining glasses of wine forever, you could only hope no one noticed how weird you were acting, how sensitive you were since you stepped foot out the plane. Time was running out; you knew that when Yoongi invited you to an after-party before the whole crew left Berlin. Instead of telling him the truth, you simply said you weren’t in the mood to go, hoping that your time alone would help to gather enough courage to confess.
You weren’t trying to keep Yoongi with you, you told him a million times that he should go without you and that there was no problem with it. You hid under the blanket and hugged your body, watching him change his shirt into a black tee. He ran his finger through his hair in an attempt to tame it, looking at himself into the mirror and stealing a glance towards your reflection. He knew you too well not to notice the sad expression on your face as you scrolled through your phone, searching for a Disney movie to watch while he was out. He turned around, approaching the bed and kneeling beside you to catch your eyes.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” He asked once again.
“Yeah, I just need one night.” You said, which was true. You needed a few more moments to finish fighting with your own thoughts.
“But are you okay?” He continued to ask, cupping your jaw in his palm.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” The words came out of your mouth with more emotion than you intended to, he couldn’t ignore it.
“I don’t know… You look like you want me to stay.”
There was a beat of silence in the room. The sweetness of his voice broke your heart into a million pieces. You couldn’t say yes and make him stay just because you were feeling down and you really had no problem with him leaving, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him no either. You were full of contradictions, wanting to be alone but wanting to be with him at the same time, something in your chest pulled, wanting him close.
“What makes you think that?” You murmured, fighting the urge to cry. God, you were too sensitive.
“Mmm… The Disney movie kinda gives you away.”
You huffled, playing with the fingers of his hands without looking at him. “I don’t want to ruin your fun… You should go, I mean it.”
He scoffed “You won’t, there’s going to be a bunch of parties until the tour ends, this one is nothing.”
“They’ll miss you…”
“You’ll miss me, too.”
“But do you want to stay, though?” You asked him a whisper.
“Of course I want to… But you have to let me choose the movie.” He warned, automatically making you giggle.
Letting Yoongi choose the movie was the worst decision you have made in the last week so far, but you felt grateful he couldn’t see you as he hugged your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder, because as the ending of Inside Out approached, you were sure you were about to cry.
When you arrived at the airport you promised yourself not to cry anymore, not in front of Yoongi at least, but your body was full of emotions you didn’t even know you could feel. It was certain that you’ve always been a sensitive person, you cried at the drop of a hat, Yoongi was familiar with that, but now it was impossible to stop it.
You’d stopped paying attention to the screen entirely; one by one, your darkest thoughts crept in, pressing heavily on your chest. The feelings you’d tried so hard to bury rose up, churning uneasily in your stomach, and when you least expected it, tears began to fall down your cheeks.
A sob escaped from your lips at the same time the main character began to cry, making your boyfriend shift in his place.
“Are you crying?” Yoongi suddenly asked, softly grabbing your shoulder to turn you around. He looked at your face, at first amused, thinking you were crying because of the movie. But his expression softened when he saw the sadness in your eyes and the damp lashes heavy with tears. You covered your face, unable to hold back, and the sobs came harder, each one swallowing the words you couldn’t say. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He reached for your arms, attempting to pull them away from your face, but you turned away, burying your face in the pillow.
“Nothing,” You lied, desperate to avoid this conversation again. “I’m just… emotional, I don’t know.” Your voice cracked, hoarse, as the emotions you were trying to hide slipped through.
Yoongi was confused, but mostly worried. You had been weird since the day you arrived, he would be a fool not to notice.
He turned the light of the lamp on the nightstand, illuminating the room with a soft orange light and turned the tv off.
“Hey, look at me.” He softly said, brushing your hair with his fingers, it only made you want to cry harder. “I know something’s up, I’m not a dummy.”
You turned to him, hitting him with the most heartbreaking sight he could witness, your face soaked in tears, nose and eyes red as you pouted at him. What was so wrong to make you cry like that?
“What do you know?” Was the only thing you could say, daring to be upset at him when he hadn't done anything wrong.
He frowned at your tone. “Well, I know that you suddenly came here two weeks earlier just because. You are weird, you almost don’t eat, your suitcase is almost untouched like you’re going to leave anytime soon, you look… sad? I don’t know, baby, you tell me.”
You kept silent for a second, wiping the tears with the sleeve of your t-shirt. Uncomfortable, you sat in the bed, taking a deep breath as your mind completely blanked. You didn’t realize yet, but there was no way to get out of this one.
Contrary to popular belief, your boyfriend was kind of a dummy. You confirmed it when he decided to say the following words.
“Is it because of Lily?” He said, making you dart your eyes at him. “You don’t like her being here?
You couldn’t blame Yoongi for not understanding why you were crying, but the suggestion that you were jealous of one of his coworkers made you want to punch him. Lily was one of the new producers at Yoongi’s label, and a few months ago, Yoongi had noticed that you were starting to feel uneasy about the amount of time she was spending with him, which led him to realize that you were beginning to feel unexpectedly jealous of her. Yes, that was a whole deal back then, but it was water under the bridge now; the fact that she was touring with him and the boys didn’t faze you. The idea that he thought you were crying because of her was ridiculous.
“Yoongi, are you kidding me?”
“No, I’m not.” He defended himself. “The last time I saw you we were fine, but now you’re here crying and I don’t have a clue what I did wrong.”
Suddenly, you felt your heart sink. He hadn’t done anything wrong; it was you who was an emotional wreck, struggling to keep your feelings in check. A wave of guilt washed over you for the mess you’d just created, convinced there must have been ways to prevent all this conflict. But now, all you could do was sit there, tangled in the aftermath of your own emotions.
You sighed, defeated. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” You said “And it’s not about Lily, I couldn’t care less about that… It’s just that- … Yoongi…”
“Baby…” He said in the same tone as you, “What is it?”
As Yoongi’s gentle question hung in the air, you felt a knot tighten in your chest. The truth sat heavy on your tongue, you glanced away, fidgeting with the edge of your sleeve, buying time as your thoughts spiraled. “Yoongi, my period is late.” You confessed, observing Yoongi’s eyes go wide, his brows lifting in surprise as he tried to understand what he just heard. “It’s been a week now, I don’t know what happened. I tried to wait, but I had to take a test”
“A test?” he asked, voice low, surprise flickering in his eyes.
“A pregnancy test, Yoongi.” You said, trying not to roll your eyes. “I took three damn tests.”
“And what-... what happened?” He asked, his voice unsteady, eyes fixed on yours.
The room felt suddenly smaller, the air thick with unspoken fears and questions. A quiet stillness settled between you both, there was a weight to the silence, stretching out the seconds as you waited for whatever words would come next.
“I mean, guess what happened,” you whispered. Before you could finish the sentence, you got up and reached for the zipper on your suitcase pocket. Your hand closed around the large object, and you felt his eyes on the back of your neck, following you as you moved around the hotel room. Returning to the bed, you sat down and handed him the pregnancy test.
Yoongi didn’t know anything about pregnancy tests—he’d never needed to. He’d always been careful, using protection with every girl he’d been with, including you, until things had started to get serious. So no, he wasn’t familiar with the variety of pregnancy tests out there. But now, here he was, staring at a white stick with a tiny screen, showing a clear positive sign, which could only mean one thing.
Yoongi’s hands trembled slightly as he held the pregnancy test, his gaze locked onto the tiny screen, staring at it for a moment, speechless. His heartbeat thundered in his ears, loud enough that he thought you might hear it. Now everything made sense, how you said you were nauseous in the morning, each time you refused to drink wine, how you looked like you were about to cry when you saw a stroller with twins this afternoon at the park. How could he not notice?
You pressed your lips together, feeling the familiar sting of tears welling up once more. A small, shaky hiccup escaped your lips, breaking the silence and snapping him out of his daze. “No, no, no,” He murmured urgently, setting the test aside and pulling you close, lifting you effortlessly onto his lap. His arms wrapped around your waist as you buried your face in your hands, trying to hold back the tears. “Hey, there’s no reason to cry,” He whispered, gently guiding your face up, his fingers lifting your chin as he coaxed your hands away. “C’mon, look at me.” His voice was soft, reassuring, his gaze full of warmth and understanding.
“I don’t know how it happened.” You blurted out, your voice shaking with uncertainty.
“That doesn’t matter now, why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, you could tell he was trying to remain calm by the soft tone of his voice, but his face had gone as white as paper, like he’d just seen a ghost.
“I arranged the flight to see you as soon as possible, but... I was scared. I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t,” you admitted, your words barely a whisper.
“Baby, you don’t have to be scared, okay? You can tell me anything.” He assured you, his hand gently squeezing yours. But the uneasy feeling in your stomach refused to go away.
“I know, but… we haven’t planned for this,” you murmured, glancing down. “It just… came out of nowhere.”
“Well, it didn’t exactly come out of nowhere. These things can happen,” he said gently, a faint smile tugging at his lips. You groaned, burying your face in his chest.
“But it wasn’t supposed to happen,” you whined, your voice muffled against him. “I didn’t expect this at all. I was drowning in work when I found out. I’m stressed, I’m lost, I don’t know what to do… and I miss my mom.” The words tumbled out in a frantic ramble, and you were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice the soft laugh he let slip.
“You miss your mom?” he asked softly, careful not to upset you further.
“Yes!” you cried, voice cracking. “I feel like a kid lost in the supermarket.”
He shook his head gently and brushed away your tears with his thumbs, pulling you closer. “Baby…” he began, his tone soothing.
“Yoongi…” you whispered, lifting your head to meet his gaze. His expression was still worried, but the warmth in his eyes was reassuring.
“You’re right, we didn’t plan this. But we’ve talked about it before, and you have options. Whatever you choose, I’ll be right here beside you, no matter what. You know that, don’t you?” He searched your eyes for confirmation, and you nodded, feeling the ache in your chest begin to ease.
As his words sank in, a new wave of emotions stirred inside you. The weight of worry and loneliness began to ease, replaced by a warmth that softened the ache in your chest.
“But… what do you think?” you asked softly. You knew that whatever you decided would ultimately be your choice only, but you needed to know what was going on in his mind.
He sighed, a hint of hesitation in his expression. “I mean… we’re not sixteen, baby. We’re adults, we’re about to buy a house together, and we love each other.”
“Well, those are just facts,” you replied, searching his face. “What I mean is… do you want this, now?”
It was hard for Yoongi to believe you were really asking this. There you were, sitting on his lap with swollen eyes and a red nose from crying, asking him if he wanted to start a family with you—as if that hadn’t been his dream all along. Of course he felt like the life he had been living was going to completely change from now on. It was terrifying, but he couldn’t help but feel excited at the same time.
“I've always wanted it, are you serious?” He laughed, the sound light but filled with disbelief. “And I only want it with you, haven’t I made it clear enough?”
Those were the main differences between the two of you: while he was calm, always taking a moment to think before acting, you were emotional and, more often than not, let your feelings take control of your actions. It was only in that moment that you realized how irrational you’d been. There wasn’t a world where Yoongi didn’t want this, and there certainly wasn’t a world where you didn’t want it either.
“I want it, too,” you whispered, your voice trembling as you fought back tears.
“Then why are you crying, huh?” he asked gently, squeezing your face in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“Because...” you said, struggling to catch your breath. “Maybe you didn’t think it was the right time... You’re on tour right now.”
He frowned, his expression softening with concern. “I won’t be on tour forever...”
“I know, but... we’re not married. What would your parents think?”
He let out a laugh, clearly unable to believe that was a real concern of yours. “You’re not seriously thinking about my parents right now, are you?”
“How could I not?” you said, raising your eyebrows. “What if they force us to marry? God, I don’t want to be one of those couples who only marry because the girl is suddenly pregnant!”
He laughed even harder, shaking his head. “Oh my god, baby, no one’s forcing us to do anything!” He grinned, clearly finding your worry amusing. “If we ever get married, it won’t be because anyone pressured me. Trust me.” He paused, happy to see that the worried expression abandoned your face. “Besides, my parents love you, you have no idea how happy they’ll be once they know. Married or not.”
“Yoongi, it can’t be that simple.”
“But it is.”
You sighed, feeling like all the mess you’d made was for nothing—and thank God it was. You’d been so caught up in your own despair that you hadn’t realized everything in your life was falling into place for this to happen. Yoongi was right. You were about to move into a bigger home, you had your job, Yoongi had his, and you loved each other. You've always wanted it, this was the perfect moment for this to happen. Why had you been so worried?
“You’re right, it is.” You finally admitted, letting your body rest against him.
Yoongi laughed, gently grabbing you by your hips and laying you on the bed, kissing you softly. “You don’t have to worry, baby, not with me.”
“I know.” You breathed out, feeling like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. “But I am-… I’m so scared. How am I gonna have a baby? It sounds crazy.”
“Of course it does, it is.” He said “I’m terrified, too, but we’re together, right? Nothing bad can happen if we have each other.”
You nodded, feeling your chest unclench. “I guess you're right,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “I just... needed to hear you say it.”
Yoongi smiled, leaning down to steal another kiss from you, this time deeper, longer. “I love you, baby, don’t you know that?”
You brushed your nose against his, nodding. “I love you, too, bubba.”
“C’mon, baby, stop crying.” He said, making you laugh.
#fic: so it goes#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfiction#yoongi fanfic#bts x reader#bts smut#min yoongi fanfic#min yoongi x oc#yoongi fic recs#yoongi imagine#yoongi fluff#yoongi smut#yoongi fic#bts masterpost#bts fic rec#yoongi bts#bts one shot
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every once in a while I think back to a fanfic I read in 2015. in retrospect, it wasn’t all that well written, but it was penned by teenagers in love with their story and the story loved me back.
They main character was trans and a central theme of the story was the length of his hair. I read the first chapter the day it was published, almost certainly searching through the trans character tag. It was October, another two months to the date I would cut my hair - the day before Christmas, I walked out of the hair salon as though I’d already received all the gifts I could possibly want.
I loved my short hair, the buzz at my neck, running my fingers through short strands and have the hair fall from them after lifting them just a few centimeters.
Three years later, I decided to grow my hair out again. For my family, mostly, I think now, as a test, to me and to them.
My aunt said it felt like spite, dangling my hair in front of them, threatening to cut it off again as though to punish them.
I did cut it off again.
I think I failed my own test. I know my family did.
For the first time in nine years my hair has grown past my shoulders, that imaginary line by which I measured someone’s love. My own, probably.
Fourteen years ago I cut my hair for the first time in my life. It used to reach down to my knees, and tangled at every opportunity. I remember being so exhausted, long before I realized what was actually weighing me down.
I miss that little girl sometimes. I hope she forgives me.
But this post is not about her, not yet. Maybe not ever. She’s asleep in her Playmobil castle and princess bed and I don’t know how to wake her yet.
This is about a story posted in 2015. The last time it was updated was 2017, it was never finished.
I don’t ever need it to be finished. All I need is for it to remain there, with its title, the reminder of don’t let your hair past your shoulders, and the comment I wrote in 2015. I hope this story knows I love it still, and that somewhere, sometime, another boy learns that it’s okay. That your hair can grow again. That you do not need to hate it.
The authors of that story have vanished, I can’t find any of them anywhere, but I hope that my last comment, left now nearly a decade later, has reached them. That they know how grateful I was for giving me something to hold on when I need it, for allowing me to be seen when I couldn’t stand looking in the mirror.
That even now, so may years later, looking back at their writing with - perhaps - embarrassment for leaving it unfinished like that, having written the kind of stories only high schoolers would, they will know it means the world to someone.
#queer#trans#ao3#archive of our own#fanfiction l#writing#I’m having many trans thoughts this week#for various reasons#but this is a good one
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reader x sunday but the after affects of the penacony 2.2 story, like maybe reader being left in the dark about everything and they’re slightly upset with him :>
Bound by Dreams, Torn by Truth
Summary: After the events on Penacony, you confront Sunday about keeping his plans for Sweetdream Paradise hidden from you. Despite his vision of a pain-free society, you feel hurt by his secrecy and question his motives. In a vulnerable moment, Sunday reveals his desire to protect you from the harshness of reality, asking for your understanding as he attempts to balance his ideal with his love for you.
Tags: Sunday x Reader, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Penacony 2.2, Emotional Conflict, Confrontation, Bittersweet Romance.
Warnings: Mild existential themes, Mentions of escapism, Slight manipulation(?)
The aftermath of the events on Penacony leaves you feeling unsettled, uncertain about the man you've trusted. Sunday's lofty vision of a painless utopia — one where people live in eternal dreams, safe from the harsh realities of life — now appears more complicated. The illusion of a paradise that he believes in clashes with your desire for a real, imperfect world. Although he speaks about shielding others from pain, his choice to withhold the truth about his intentions and the cost of Sweetdream Paradise leaves you feeling like an outsider, someone he couldn’t fully confide in.
One evening, you decide to confront him. You find him in his office, surrounded by ornate, dreamlike decor, the quiet hum of reverie hanging in the air. His golden eyes, like halos of their own, meet yours with the same calm conviction they always hold. But tonight, you want answers — real ones.
"Why didn’t you tell me everything?" you ask, your voice wavering slightly. "You talk about protecting people, but this... this dream isn’t real. It’s not what I thought we were building."
Sunday’s expression softens, and for a moment, a glimmer of regret crosses his features. He reaches for your hand but hesitates. "I wanted to keep you safe," he says, his voice as calm and steady as ever. "The truth is harsh, even painful. Sweetdream Paradise… it’s mercy, even if it comes at a cost."
"But don’t I deserve to know? To understand the real consequences?" you ask, feeling the weight of everything he chose to conceal.
He nods, a small sigh escaping his lips as he steps closer. "You’re right. I should have trusted you with more. But understand, this world, this dream — it’s my way of giving people peace, of sparing them the torment of life’s cruelties. Even if you don’t see it as I do, know that my choice was out of love. I wanted to protect you from the darkness that reality brings."
His hand finally reaches yours, a bittersweet touch that’s both comforting and conflicting. "Stay with me," he whispers, a hint of vulnerability slipping through his composed demeanor. "If you can, believe in me just a little longer."
Though the ache of his secrecy still lingers, you sense the sincerity in his words. He may never see the world as you do, but tonight, you realize that perhaps love isn’t always about sharing the same dreams — it’s sometimes about walking together, even through the differences.
#honkai star rail#hsr#x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#sunday x reader#sunday sunday sunday#sunday hsr#hsr sunday#sunday#hsr sunday x you#hsr sunday x reader#sunday x you#sunday x y/n#angst#hurt/comfort#post penacony 2.2#emotional conflict#confrontation#bittersweet romance#mild existential themes#mentions of escapism#slight manipulation
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#bob dylan#okay what other tags do I add to this#I like to think that after OP posted this comment they immediately deleted their account#that'd be funny#bob dylan wig#maybe Someone will find this post through this tag...
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feeling very green and yellow light in this dungeon tonight
angústia, florbela espanca (translated by me)
interview with the vampire, s02e05: "don't be afraid, just start the tape"
i lock you in an american sonnet that is part prison, terrance hayes
island of the sequined love nun, christopher moore
beautiful short loser, ocean vuong
kinnporsche, s01e11
red doc>, anne carson
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#kinnporche the series#web weaving#armand iwtv#daniel molloy#vegas theerapanyakul#pete saengtham#devil's minion#armandaniel#armandiel#vegaspete#okay onto the fun tags#i looked at armand fixing daniel's wound with that lighting and my brain made a u turn#fully screeching at me to do something#no special meaning to this i just like to see powerful people facing the consequences of violence on someone under them#either through a physical disadvantage (daniel my beloved) or through a social dynamic (darling pete)#their relationships are pretty different but these scenes have me dropping my heart all over the place#what is it with disturbed men with daddy issues and locking up puppy eyed men#darlings you need to relax maybe take them out on a date first#also the entire poem by florbela espanca is just... so armand#that isn't the full translation but i probably won't post it unless i find other poems to translate that i can connect to them#alright rant over hope y'all like it#armand the beloved <3#daniel the beloved <3#seven.
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Just before I woke up, I had the scene of Frodo and Sam holding each other on Mount Doom in my mind. Except, it wasn't Frodo and Sam, but Orel and Gringe.
Unrealistic. 1/10. They would never take the ring to Mordor.
#i didn't put any tags to this post at first but maybe i should for archiving purposes so...#bloqués#orelsan#gringe#...i'm not tagging it just lotr (if someone finds it through that tag anyway... uhh... hello!)
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Thinking abt Kae’s Fatui verse,,,,
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Him having a sort of fatal attraction vibe goin with Traveler like Came||ya’s whole thing almost hdbfb#//The whole ‘you’re interesting; I really like you; I can’t WAIT to see what makes you tick’#//Except he might actually be more of a danger to them; considering his endgame for those he ‘loves’#v; l’innamorato (fatui!kaeya)#//The love idea of him v attached to Signora; deffo got along with the kiddos of the HotH better fjhdh#//Prolly loved presenting her W|ll Sm|th style; even if the attention it drew to him too did make his skin crawl more often than not#//Love the idea of him stalking Traveler thru their journeyw lil heart eyes; interfering at key moments to hinder or help them progress#//Depends on how he’s feeling at the moment jcbcb#//In this verse would deffo butt heads with Taru in Fontaine specifically—he wants Traveler’s attention too jfbfb#//Prolly met them in Mond as part of Signora’s lil entourage—IMMEDIATELY got intrigued at first glance#//Background wise; I like to think he was a Fatuus meant to infiltrate the knights like many of Eroch’s ppl#//And in the progress of going through the knight thing got acquainted w Luc & began to have doubts abt the Fatui cause#//After visiting his home; hearing abt and meeting his father; then the day of the Heckening happens & they fight#//Bc Kae already planned to come clean & renounce the Fatui & Khaenri’ah; but the mess Crepus’s death made of him#//Tried far too hastily; far too bluntly to tell Luc the truth of his origins; swearing he knew nothing abt the Delusion#//Only to get claymore’d; which absolutely helped cemented him into the Fatui’s ranks more#//A part of him knows it wasn’t the time to say it; that he is at fault for trying to take advantage of Luc’s vulnerable state to tell him#//Only for the lad to have been far too volatile & so it turned out badly; but he still blames Luc for the break of their bond#//Anywho; I like to think as of Inazuma; he does have a certain grudge against traveler bc of Signora#//Before; encounters were more of puppy love bordering on dangerous obsession—after that; the dangerous bit became Personal#//Ohhh I’m writing a yandere here; okay<-should have realized that from the FIRST slew of Fatuiverse hcs lmao#//He genuinely does love Traveler; would like to see them breaking down in despair in his arms#//The two of them together would make a most beautiful ice sculpture indeed#//Even with his grudge; Traveler does stand a chance at swaying him to actually be helpful#//Sumeru quest wise; Co||ei is the magic word—i like to think he came along with there bc he wanted to see abt the Eleazar#//And maybe find clues to her family or even her herself; Traveler or Paimon dropping the name would make him cooperate SO fast#//Klee in Mond is basically his Teucer jffb. She is as good as fam in his eyes—I like to think he keeps up his habit of collecting pyro ppl#//Bc he never got over his broken bond with SOMEONE. Even if this verse has him more bitter abt it#//But ye jdbdbd. Is it rlly a Allie posting if it not short lol blurb and then heckin TAG SPAM lololol
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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.
#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life#or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM#like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people#do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap#like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way#his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong#it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong#which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right#but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven#i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit#when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief#but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings#anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure#but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc#a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime#vic.txt#dean and feelings#so i can find this all again later
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Pokémon Horizons Episode 24 spoilers under the cut!
HEY AMETHIO BESTIE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN . WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
#fluff binges !!!#GUESS WHO'S OFFICIALLY CAUGHT UP WITH HORIZONS AND GOT TO WATCH THE LATEST EP FROM YESTERDAY !!! 💥💥💥💥💥#I have a bunch of posts to make about the previous eps because I enjoyed them a lot but first oh my g o d#adding an extra tag here before spoiler talk -------------------------->#I was still reeling from finding out that Hamber was Diana's old friend I like genuinely jumped from seeing that#butler jumpscare /lh#Hamber's essentially Gibeon's righthand at this rate and considering how Onyx and Sango were even scared of him that spells out bad news#NO BUT WHAT WAS UP WITH TERAPAGOS BEEFING WITH AMETHIO AT THE END I'M..................................................#AMETHIO HAVING AN EVEN BIGGER ROLE IN THIS STORY ASIDE FROM HIS OWN PERSONAL VENDETTA?????????????????AMEN AMEN AMEN#it's so funny for the past few episodes I was thinking to myself “man I miss Amethio I miss my edgy son where is he :(”#AND HE NOT ONLY CAME BACK BUT POSSIBLY HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE PAST CONSIDERING TERAPAGOS' REACTION...................#my current theory is like - maybe Amethio's a descendant of someone who knew Lucius?#and maybe they're the reason why he's been missing all this time? because that was anger Hatenna was sensing I feel#and terapagos was acting so aggressively thinking that Amethio was that same person from before /insane /insane /insane#I thought that Liko could possibly be a descendant of Lucius as well but it seems like Diana only knew him through his journals-#-not by relations like I initially thought#OOOUGHGGHGNNGG I NEED MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#next friday come soon huhu#pokemon horizons#anipoke#pokeani#amethio#amethio pokemon
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My brain has gone back and forth on between which anime if arma or new is my favorite. Cause even with all its issues Arma means a lot to me, it’s the reason I got into getter and helped me through one of the worst times of my life- But then new is objectively better written and it drives me nuts compared to arma it’s not talked about ENOUGH despite all the stuff you can poke at from it’s plot and I’m trying to pinpoint that reason since the general consensus is “no one hates new and it gets a lot of fanart in the Japanese community yet it’s never deeply acknowledged so it feels unpopular”
So my standpoint is “do I keep investing into the popular iteration despite its issues or do I invested into the less flawed unpopular iteration when it comes to introducing getter to new people?” cause man as much as I’m a critical person of media I still can forgive some messy writing if I have a good time with it and can clearly tell the staff had fun making it, which is definitely armas case. (Though they absolutely had fun with new too)
#meg text#getter robo#this general philosophy I have is why im not harshly critical on SVN next to “I think it fulfills it’s purpose”#and a few other mechas I’ve seen but not gonna tag because I don’t wanna put them in their tag when this is just getter#I was tempted to make a post asking about what people don’t find appealing about new but it be on twit and blegh#I’d ask it here and if anyone has input feel FREE to put but my following is way to small to generate the feedback I want#but on Twitter people are dumb and I’m not taking the “new has bad animation” take any longer bc it’s cherry picked#next to “we all know this is better animation then arc LOL” even if that whole debate as stupid#but past that point I’m trying to understand what people don’t like to find new unappealing when it’s flaws aren’t turn offs#like Musashibo not having a proper character arc and the villains not being consistent is a big one but doesn’t make the show bad#especially because there’s still good from those issues being Musashibo still a fun character and the villains don’t ruin the pacing#you could maybe make the argument new starts off slow but also all of the introduction episodes are engaging??#there’s not a single thing about new-let alone getter when it’s paced right-that feels sluggish#Also for a 13 ep show picking up in the middle makes the MOST sense in comparison to a longer ep series#the middle is when shit hits the fan tbh#im gonna be at war until I hear someone’s in depth opinion but I just WANNA figure out what turns off people from new#cause when I also watched it in a group I had irls drop out of it midway through but I could chalk it up to they weren’t huge on mecha#Even if I argue new is the PERFECT mecha show to recommend to someone who’s skeptical of the genre but I digress
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I just need to know so badly WHEN did Bojan fell for Kris. Or are we meant to speculate on that? 🥲
i actually answered this in length here! idk if you've already seen it since sending the ask haha but just in case, theres the direct link again <3
short answer is god i wish i knew, but my own best guesses and thoughts on it are there :3
#maybe i should also make a tag for all the bonus lore and stuff like that#so that things like these are easier to find if someones curious without having to go through the nearly 200 posts on this blog now fjfkkd#inbox#sparkles-oflight
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does anyone know if there‘s a tag limit
#felix babbles#one time#i started trying#the post was in my drafts for a longgg while#it wasnt even related to the original post at some point#the tags didnt end up saving#so i never found out anything about a limit#maybe i hit it#or maybe my phone couldnt handle it#perhaps tumblr couldnt#reminds me of the post limit#which i know exists#but ive never hit it#ive also never tried#i think ash mentioned once that in the time hes been on here hes only hit it a few times#i have mutuals with separate accounts just for when they hit the limit#so i guess its not as hard to hit as i would’ve thought#i was supposed to be making k.andi stars#if you saw my last post#i just took a little break and now im here#also listening to the np.md soundtrack again so thats fun#didnt want to put it in the tag though hopefully that works to prevent it#can you image searching for a post in the np.md tag and this thing pops up#id be so confused#i would probably still read through the tags though#i wonder if tumblr will have a limit and not tell me#like when i try to post it itll say i have too many tags#i should tag one of my stmboards with as many tags as i can and then start rambling for anyone who clicks on it#but i wouldnt want someone to be searching and find my board over and over again#EDIT: THERE WERE MORE TAGS AFTER THIS AND THEY WERE CUT OFF
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You could post cute pics and get validation from strangers on the internet while you wait.
Fr tho I hope you're doing okay ❤️
What do you think I’ve been doing 😂😘
#haven’t posted in literal ages#and then I post multiple things in the past day or two l o l#your girl wants attention and validation all the damn time!!!#was trying to reblog old content but yall have seen that too much and don’t have the same reaction#I want your mouth to drop and you can’t help but drool from looking at me#that’s my goal 😇#but seriously I’ve been looking at a lot of my rosie content and deciding what’s good enough to post#looking for someone to go through all my content and tell me what are the true gems#so I can post those#it’s actually insane how much content I have#and most of it has never been seen before lol#have this school girl post I’m working on 😇#just working on the cute tags hehe#if you guys are ever bored and looking for something to do#give me attention#and praise#and worship me#pretty please 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#on a real note I should be fine? I hope.#every day is different… today I’m doing my ehhh alright?#but I can’t complain cause some days I feel like death#I’m also lucky I have weed to use as my crutch#I’m just in between jobs right now cause I was trying to get into this dumb program#but now that I’m on a waitlist I’m gonna have to find some sort of income#I saved up some from my last job but that is slowly dwindling away#maybe I’ll do some sort of driving/delivery job#I’m just so sick of working when I know it doesn’t make a difference#I’m going to be poor and broke the rest of my life so who cares#welp getting sad and don’t wanna do thaaaaaat….. also running out of space lol. so gonna smoke the little weed I have left and ignore ignore#ask
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shifted gears like alright after the [lucifer the mysteries please] centered approach that found mostly Other Stuff, centering [blade gunnblade please], and already have found something new but in the "possibly inaccurate & probably irrelevant even if otherwise" vein as a review read through the wayback machine says: "perhaps none moreso than the gun toting android Blade Gunblade, perfectly embodied by Asia Kate Dillon. They even get an awesome heart-wrenching backstory." which is so far the singular mention that blade gunnblade is an android, however, reviewers can Just Say Things, so. i believe the blade gunnblade full backstory clip that's available is from pre 2015's run at the pit, & rather a previous run as serials at the flea (and the prop & setpiece differences if it was simply an alex seife understudy performance from 2015 would be: inexplicable) but i have to imagine that blade's peak tragic backstory ft. murdered wife & child would be very similar, & i guess it would be funny if they were just out & about living their ordinary life with a family like that while also an android, but. however i'll also give them that: mentioned a bit more often is that at least at some point kapow-i Becomes part android / referred to as a cyborg, thanks to the same character as in 2015 & prior's tragic backstory. i don't think this fun fact is like super constantly relevant or obvious, so i Could imagine something along the lines of blade getting the same treatment & it also not being particularly more relevant. or else the proximity of such concepts like "kapow-i's a cyborg, the serials run clip seems to refer to like 'we need this specific rando who is now blade to be injected with Ultimate Fighter elixir (& have their family killed. because) & people's whose bodies couldn't handle it are now kind of like funny little robots (cybernetically automated but with some personality)" & like blade we need you to be a fighting machine was thus sort of conflated lol. but maybe they're a cyborg like i think it happens a lot anyways
#blade gunnblade#difficulties: going okay not sure there's as comprehensive a cast list anywhere as the mysteries' program being available#which also wasn't fully comprehensive!#however there is plenty of overlap b/w the mysteries cast & the the pit kapow-i gogo marathon cast#thus some more recent blade gunnblade finds stemming from Looking For Lucifer#and also i have already done some [afaik cast member who Wasn't in both] rifling around for blade material so#but there's still some more digging to do. some [fb &/or ig accounts now deleted or privated] to press f for. got any pics#some ''damn someone who took some relevant production pics was ig tagged but their profile doesn't have their actual name#and also only has like 8 pics & they're all selfies like who are you''#both productions having More production pics out there i knowwww please....i want to See#also shoutout to another archived review's mention of a green strobelight & cowboy bebop's rain.mp3 used in a scene#''for devastating effect'' or impact re: the 2015 run like ya that was the blade gunnblade Devastation we have crucial 8 sec clip of....#filed away as a Maybe. but i don't imagine it would actually really affect things very much at all either way so#finally we understand mafee taylor's bestie like i always knew you were a killbot cyborg sicko....all for a coy lil blade gunnblade ref (:#pausing partway through this post like this can all be briefer....it Could be but i'm writing it. read my posts boy or don't#hmm for example this review also lists a director as ''joel stern'' which i'm 95% sure refers actually to joel soren so#but then also many other names are cited more accurately. yet still the one error there. that's where we're at#kapow-i gogo#asia kate dillon#perfectly embodied by! So true
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regularly venturing out into the main idv fandom tag.. scary....
#however it is my duty to find stuff posted recently with only likes no reblogs And Reblog It#babagrill if no one wanna reblog your silly memes and fanart. i will. always#one day maybe another idv obsessed someone will comb through tagged posts on my blog. that would be nice#(<- did that myself to like. more than 10 blogs. went into their idv tag and reblogged whatever i saw then jumped onto the next blog)#post anesthetics posts
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