#maybe I'm just tired of this fandom being so miserable all the time. you don't have to be here if you're not having fun!

[pigeonclaw]

the amount of times I have potentially controversial opinions that I type up and then save in my drafts forever because I still feel them but am too shy and afraid to choose violence in any way

[coffee-fueled-cookie]

What do you think the club would be like if you were to marry them

Now, this is probably where I get delusional bc I have to like stretch to make this both appealing for those seeking romance, but realistic enough for the comic truthers. But at the end of the day, if you don't like House wife Josh? Wrap it up

That being said

Josh Levy

"Coffee, stop using Padme and Anakin pictures! They don't even relate to his head canons!" I DON'T CARE, I DO WHAT I WANT 🗣

Now listen

You may think Josh wouldn't be the best husband, that he's as bad as Bill, and maybe... maybe he is, but in my heart

He is the ultimate husband

Josh getting married was a healthy step forward for him. You basically saved him from his fate because now he has something to live for and look towards

Does that mean that he's kind of dependant on you? Yes, and sometimes that's hard in your marriage, but usually, things go pretty smooth

Does cook dinner, tries to develop at least a consistent and normal diet, but I'd believe it's hard. Stress eats when he's upset, you'll find wrappers of things hidden in the trash, old habits die hard

After that fire and his mom dying, things between him and his dad had been really rough, and there was a moment after college where they didn't talk to each other

They probably won't ultimately heal that relationship, but trust that when you both start to get serious, he does actually take the time to introduce you to his Dad

This guy is so deep in his fandom culture that the only cheating you've gotta worry about is his Ao3 tabs and his collected stuff, and even then, he probably sold repeats or unnecessary stuff to actually pay for y'alls wedding

It was a very moving moment for you two (He cried but you're pretty sure part of it was out of pain)

Like in the epilouge, he's probably just Facebook friends with Jerry and Pete, but he doesn't go out with them, they don't hang, he's blocked Bill on EVERYTHING

You're his safe space

Bill Dickey

DIVORCE

The fact this guy actually got married... he bagged a baddie?? Free yourself!

Okay, maybe I'm dramatic, but Epilouge Bill had me ripping my hair out, like how could you POSSIBLY be married to THAT!?

I don't even know what to tell you, this will be the most stretched one

Okay, okay, house wife, but like, doesn't do SHIT house wife

Doesn't know how to cook, will clean but like... complain that he's tired when you get home from work

Does use the money from his ebay gigs to pay for the TV subscriptions tho, so at least there's that

You would think he's miserable folding y'alls undies and sweeping and feeding the cat but honestly this is probably the most chilled out he's been in years

Now all you gotta do is peg him and he'll really evolve

Like I'm serious, the whole shebang, this will help and heal him, I swear it

Will he fight the whole way through? Of course, but you can tell by that light in his eyes and that tightness in his throat that he doesn't mind

He'll probably be vulgar mouthed, call you names, call other people names, but when I tell you that shit holds no malice, he just has high blood pressure

It's a dynamic, that's for sure, and you'll probably still have to deal with his collecting, but as years go by, down the line, he'll consider selling a chunk of it or storing it away

Jerry Stokes

The actual chill guy omg

Biggest thing you gotta worry about is stepping on a miniature he left out or trying to declutter his desk where he'll play his cards or customize shit

A crafty husband

Has paints, card stock, scalpels, all sorts of shit

Magic the gathering cards OUT. THE. ASS. And usually it ain't a problem, bc they're in binders and take up minimal space

But he for sure does magic the gathering youtube videos, and the house must be silent when he does em, so that can be a lil aggravating

You guys have your friend group, not seperate, y'all do everything together, and when you guys aren't, then expect to hear "Where's Jerry?"

I wish I had more to add, you guys get take out every Friday, do breakfast on Saturdays, you guys have a show y'all watch together and get excited when new episodes drop

It's just a very dorky and lovey marriage, there's not much to it

Pete Dinunzio

Y'all probably had a shot gun wedding, very sporadic, super fun, and you woke up with the worst headache imaginable

As for if Y'all knew eachother before then?? That's up to you and your lore

It's super casual, you guys considered yourselves married after sleeping in the same bed for 2 years

You know that couple that looks cool, and do cool shit, and you kinda wish you were spontaneous like them?

But then it turns out they're kinda dysfunctional? Yeah. That's it

If you're fine with him working at Sick MOFO then awesome, that makes life 10x easier

If not... yikes

He lives independently despite having a partner, and sometimes that's great, but when he comes home late as shit without having said anything and you're waiting, crying on the couch and worried, but it turns out he was just hanging with Butchie

That gets old quick

He does try sometimes to touch base and be open, he knows his job can be... problematic for some relationships

So a lot of times he'll make up for it by taking you out, setting time aside strictly for you (this pissed his side bitch Butchie off so bad)

Physical to the max, lays on you full body and sleeps like that, nuzzling on you, blowing raspberries in your neck, he can't keep his hands off

"We're married ain't we? Then I can love on you whenever I want!"

Not necessarily Pete but whatever

[ilikekidsshows]

Memory-wiped Alya at the end of Revelator: "the burden must to be too much for her" (more or less, don't have the episode in front of me) reminds me too much of the 'this is too much for her she's only 14' and 'it's not her responsibility to tell him' rhetoric across parts of the fandom.

Yes, tell me more about her self-inflicted burden of carrying a secret she herself chose to keep (and kept others from sharing) and how we shouldn't want her to be "punished" (fam I know this might be hard to understand, but it's not *about her*). Maybe it's "too much" because what she's doing is *wrong* so she should be feeling immensely guilty, actually???

Believe me, I'm not unsympathetic to how miserable guilt can feel, so that sucks for her, but dear god please stop coddling her by absolving her of all consequences because she "feels bad" or was "well-intentioned." She's still the instigator of said consequences and is thus responsible for them.

Loved Alya's anger in this ep, but am disappointed that she was memory wiped into only caring about Marinette's immense "burden" (when a non-wiped Alya point blank said she wasn't keeping that secret, assumably at least in part for Adrien's sake). Don't know if I trust the writers ever let Alya move beyond 'Marinette is upsette' ever again, but we'll see, I guess.

---

I’ve been seeing an increasing number of people who, while not actively criticizing Marinette, are also becoming tired of how the show expects them to constantly sympathize with her over characters who have it just as bad or worse than her. Even the critical side can acknowledge that Marinette is going through some hard things, but we’re just done with constantly being expected to direct all of our compassion towards her in every single situation, especially in situations that aren’t as bad as Marinette is making them out to be, or wouldn’t be so bad if Marinette stopped making things worse for herself with her constant carelessness and deceit.

It’s kinda like The Boy That Cried Wolf, if you constantly claim a problem that doesn’t exist, people won’t believe you when you actually need help with that problem. Similarly, the writers constantly demand we coddle Marinette over the pettiest concerns, so, when it comes time for the actually big stuff, we’re numb to it. Marinette is upsette, must be Tuesday, or Wednesday, or any other day of the week, really.

And, I have no doubt that Alya was only allowed to stay mad at Marinette because they intended to undo it by the end of the episode. This way it won’t have any real consequences to Marinette, but will just serve as an easy way to milk sympathy because oh, look, Marinette is upsette because Alya is done with her bullshitte, isn’t it so tragic that Marinette is now scared her loved ones will hate her (read: be justifiably miffed at her) for her continuous lies, deceit and cowardice? Gosh, Marinette's life is just so hard due to no fault of her own! She's the real victim here!

Pre-mindwipe Alya was too good to last. The writers of this show hate giving the audience actually good things, instead of cheap bargain-bin ideas they try to insist are fun and creative.

[spieluhrzeit]

i've seen a lot of responses to richard's interview. especially about the house metaphor.

my opinion is that you can be grateful for what we have already (which is a whole lot) AND be upset about the possibility of rammstein coming to an end getting more and more likely. that's just human nature. god knows that if and when it happens i will be an inconsolable mess.

but depending on the reason, i could also be a slightly angry mess.

you see, if rammstein drift apart naturally, that's obviously ok. they're old, probably wanna focus on other things, like schneider with his family or flake with writing (if flake started a fictional novel i'd buy 20 copies of it). they will all be in their 60s by 2031, and retirement traditionally is at 65 at least here in ireland, so if they wanna do that? they absolutely can.

But, if they split as a result of finally getting sick and tired of till's shenanigans, which for the most part are publically available for all to see (ahem ahem mar a largo ahem ahem posing with a convicted abuser) which make them worse, my currently ambivalent and conflicted opinion of Till (which soured a little over the course of a month and with whom i'm accepting and distilling into something more peaceful without turning my blog into a bitchfest and not limiting older pictures because his past self isn't doing this shit and i prefer older eras for fanfics and fanart anyway) will worsen.

Not to an extreme degree obviously. Just enough that my heart shatters 😭

My opinion of him, contrary to what I've posted, isn't actually hatred. Or well there's definitely resentment there. But it's more keeping an eye to make sure things don't keep souring. Weariness, to be exact. Kinda like "you are making me very upset and miserable and as a result I'll view all your new content with varying levels of suspicion." So that's why I'm watching closely.

Now, all of this could be paranoia on my part. Maybe Till is talking it out with the others. Maybe they're being patient with him. But from a fan's perspective, it seems that Till is finished with them and is getting himself into situations in a "well they see me like this so wtf" kinda way.

Also, the fact that he didn't publicly apologize (keyword: publicly, he probably did it privately) to the band after the charges were dropped especially Flake and Schneider, whom were hit pretty badly, doesn't help his public appearance either, and furthers the perceived gap in the band's relationship.

Flake had pretty much the same accusations and the same verdict, but had to fight more to get his stuff back while Till immediately released Zunge almost weeks after he was free, and Schneider tried to express his feelings in a balanced matter and was met with backlash. Honestly another reason why I'm resentful because I feel like his behaviour is a slap in the face to the way the 2024 tour made us feel, but I'm still compassionate enough that I sincerely hope he makes it through.

So I can only hope internal matters are different to what we're perceiving as fans. Regardless, my time in the fandom has only been a year and a bit, but I am forever grateful for their amazing music, music videos and live shows, the amazing fanfics the fandom write, and for giving me the catalyst to make my own characters (Aria, Ichika and Lorenz baby, they're based character design wise off Till, Richard and Flake respectively, I'll make a post about them soon) and story. Even if Rammstein decide to close the door, I will make so many fangames, they can't dmca them all 😈

And I'm glad Richard doesn't feel pressure to make stuff! It's very much a "if it happens it happens" thing which i can respect. so while i'll be upset if the split is forced rather than natural, i will accept it soon enough.

That's just my 2 cents on this whole matter :)

[swanimagines]

hey there...can I ask for headcanons about Pin Hawthorne helping the reader relax after a stressful day, please? If you don't mind, can I ask for it to be platonic?

A/N: I'm guessing this is @library-phantom? Because the writing style is very similar and Pin + platonic combo is very typical for her. In case it's you, I don't know if you sent this accidentally on anon or because you thought you're annoying me by spamming me during a spamming event buuut :D

I made reader Pin's sibling* because it was simplest way to reason why Pin has a room for you in his castle XD

*As always, reader is adopted. Even though reader being adopted is not pointed out, but nothing indicates they're biological siblings either.

Alsoooo this is my oldest request, whooo I'll finally get this out!!!

BEING PIN'S ADOPTED SIBLING AND HIM HELPING YOU RELAX AFTER A STRESSFUL DAY

Ok so

You had a heart attack of the century when you were out riding and your horse Pixie somehow twisted her ankle

You had been in the middle of the forest when that happened, and there was no one near to help you

And of course, the sky had decided to make your day even more miserable when it opened its gates and let water out

You had to improvise and made Pixie a kind of a ankle cast from your scarf and sticks to keep it in place

You walked Pixie all the way back to the stables and were scared you'd make her injury worse

Back at the stables, you were fortunately immediately assisted

But you were still tired and spooked

A vet was called

Pin had to basically force you to get home with him

(You live in his castle because it's warmer and healthier to live in than the hut your father prefers to live in)

(Side note, Pin has paid for renovations as much as his father lets it to get renovated, at the very least so his hut won't be ideal growing grounds for mold)

But anyway

He ushers you to go to the entertainment room

He props up some pillows and blankets on the couch of the entertainment room and put on the massive TV on the wall before tossing the remote at you

He steps out and asks Arthur to prepare some snacks

He returns to see you browsing through channels and he sit there with you, either ending up watching something mindless from the TV, or playing a video game together

Maybe something like the new version of Crash Team Racing if you feel up to it? Light, competitive, fun.

Arthur comes to the room after about 15 minutes

He brings a troller full of snacks

Arthur knows you will spend time in that room for... a while.

Pin knows just what to do whenever you feel stressed

He also knows that if he just let you be alone with your stress, you would just go over and over the topic of whatever stressed you

You know Pixie is going to be alright, it's just a twisted ankle after all and you gave her first aid

But Pin knows you couldn't stop thinking about her unless he gave you something else to think

So he just sat with you with snacks, pillows and blankets laid around you two

And soon, he noticed you smiling, your thoughts away from Pixie, or at least not feeling as stressed about it

Pin is just the best big brother you could ever dream of having ♥

Requests are open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

[hermitcraftx]

I agree with your post about hermit fans in regard to things being very popular. I’ve seen more people being angry and annoyed about scarian in the last six months than people celebrating it. Not tagging shipping is shit but it’s better than harassing people. I don’t know what was put in the water but something changed drastically and I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s seen it.

IT'S FUCKING INSANE! This fandom used to be so positive and welcoming and overall way more pleasant than some... other MCYT fandoms, but now??? I can't log on without seeing untagged negative interpretations in the main tags, can't express an opinion without getting anons calling me heterosexual sympathizers and hoping that I die, everyone has turned their back on everything that used to make this fandom really... fun? Like, I don't tag ON MY BLOG, but usually I don't maintag my shipping posts, and if I do, I tag the ship name so people can filter it.... I don't maintag duo names. What the fuck happened to make everyone so- miserable. Anons are probably going to be permanently off for me, too many people comfortable with their opinions and not comfortable with mine and desperately needing to tell me that.

And like- look. I get not liking interpretations. Personally I'm not a fan of the Double Life cheating arc because of how abusive and out of character people made Grian be, and I had to avoid ao3 for a bit because of that and filter the fucking tags. Same thing with found family dynamics. Just because you don't like something doesn't make it "overrated and popular" and just because you don't like something doesn't make it immoral or unethical either!!! People have to make everything a moral standpoint nowadays and it's really exhausting-

But that's a tirade. All over all the confessions blogs there's "scarian is overrated" despite Grian having nearly 10mil subscribers and most of them being on YouTube and considering all the hermits friends or family truthing them. Yes, there is more shipping than before- that's because Hermitcraft season 8 made it very obvious that the people on the SMP and the people IRL are very different, and it's no longer considered RPF. None of the real hermits died via moon explosion, ZombieCleo often says she's doing "lore", they make different skins, even GRIAN acknowledges that he's acting and playing a part with the permit office. Despite all that, there's STILL wars on shipping and people insisting that we're shipping real people, I fought this war on the DSMP side of things and it's SO TIRING.

DND podcast listeners, do you ship the people playing the characters? NO!!!!! Unless you do, in which case, have fun with that. I don't really care about RPF and I filtered the tags for it a long time ago, so maybe they do do that.

Every other day I see "Third life is overrated" "Last life is overrated" (LAST LIFE IS OFTEN THE LEAST FAVORITE SEASON I SEE PEOPLE SAY!), "the life series is overrated" "the cactus ring is fucking stupid" "they left the desert but we didn't" "no, THIS interpretation of scarian is bad and wrong" and like... guys. Guys. Fandom is supposed to be fun. It is not supposed to be a full time job. It is not supposed to be moral or ethical and you shouldn't feel the need to police shit. Jesus Christ, every other month there's a new fad that tumblr users flock to and once it's over everyone goes "EWWW THAT WAS LAME AND OVERRATED AND I NEVER LIKED IT ANYWAY" like.... I promise you cannibalism as an allegory for love is not mainstream you are just on Tumblr.

Like Good God. If it's so bad here go to Twitter. I'm sick of all the complaining and misery and hatred and I miss when things were fun- people are so scared of being cliche that they don't want to write things that they enjoy. Where are the coffee shop aus???? Where are the fun silly things??? Where are the 100k grimdark fics with worldbuilding??? Wheres the 500k fics that aren't even about the same characters anymore but that we love just the same??? Where are the forums and people talking to each other in comments and meeting each other that way??? Where are the roleplay servers?????? What are you all doing??????

People are scared of being judged. They want to do what everyone else is doing. They don't want to be cringe or cliche and every day I see a "cringe culture is dead" post and then someone making fun of another part of fandom, an antithesis to their previous statement. They don't want to be late to things, either. Who cares if Last Life was a couple years ago? Draw the fanart anyway!

I'm scared. Maybe I'm just old, but every post I see I notice that I get maybe a 10th in reblogs of what I do in likes, and I don't even post my art or fics to this site. Every post is like that. More and more people only like posts and they die, unseen, by everyone. More and more people misuse archive of our own's functions, treating it like it has some algorithm, when it doesn't, and it never has and hopefully never will. I see fic reuploads to "gain traction" (not how it works) and people reaching out to find RP partners (breaking TOS) and all sorts of other shit on both sites and it fucking horrifies me. I'm not even that old- I'm eighteen, and I can already tell how fandom has changed for the worst for everyone. Fandom used to be a community. Not consumption.

It's just... sad. Old fandom had PLENTY of fucking problems, and we have problems here too, but at least the positives outweighed the negatives. It's so... mean here, now. Even the happy things are mean-spirited. People treat it as if certain people have invaded this fandom space, spreading horrible opinions and ruining it for everyone, but the truth is is that shipping is always going to be a thing. It's a foundation of fandom- fandom started with housewives in the 1950s writing Star Trek fanfiction. You can never get rid of shipping. You can just interact with what you want to interact with and leave others to mind their own business.

[skaruresonic]

Remember me? To start off: I'm sorry about triggering some terrible and mentally painful memories when I went off about how I felt about the state of Flynn criticism. I never intended that. I wasn't defending or, heck, even trying to invite discussion about Flynn's rabid fanatics anyway. I could've chosen my words better, but aside from the detractors' mentalities, I meant to focus on Flynn ONLY. And I have nothing against your or their fan fictions. I do fan fiction, too. I just noticed what seemed like extreme shilling surrounding their exposure. I don't aim (and never did) to change minds about the dude, but I find the constructiveness of the critical discourse has been long lost.

Fitting that I received your ask on the first-year anniversary of my visual novel.

And I have nothing against your or their fan fictions. I do fan fiction, too.

Then why bring it up? What does "and your fics aren't even that good" add to the conversation about another writer's work?

I just noticed what seemed like extreme shilling surrounding their exposure.

Ah. There it is.

Look, I'm going to be brutally honest with you. But before I do, I want you to know I'm not angry with you, just annoyed - and perhaps angry in general at the overall situation we're in.

Honestly, the current climate is reminding me of the time antis gentrified Half-Life and caused the old guard to disperse. Everyone in our mutual circle is drifting away from Sonic in some form or another because it's such a toxic cesspit, and what's worse, they blame us for it. Would you want to stay in a situation like that?

Anyway, I have no patience for "you keep shilling your work" anymore because that standard only seems to apply to us. If we held everyone else to that standard, this entire Chili's would be revealed as hypocrites in an instant.

The fic mocking is not an isolated event. I've seen it happen over and over again, for years. Folks mocked Crusher's fic and OCs on TV Tropes. Folks mocked Darklight's OCs on Twitter. Folks sneered that we were too stupid to comprehend storytelling, and once someone said "none of them can even draw."

They can never leave it at "their criticisms suck." No, they have to make things so much more personal than they need to be. In the absence of an actual argument, they call you names, say you deserve all kinds of punishment, including but not limited to death and rape. Crusher had to delete hundreds of threats from his inbox. So please forgive me if my patience has waned paper-thin.

Folks feel the need to knock us down a peg because they think it's "warranted" on the basis of "we have egos." Which is a riot when, again, everyone on social media shills their work. That's what fandom does. You cannot throw a rock in here without hitting someone who thinks their AU improves on the games. I don't know why IDW is so sacrosanct that saying "I could probably do better" is considered blasphemy.

Whether or not my friends shill their own work as being "better" than IDW or whatever else is irrelevant. IDW staff are professionals (or should be, anyway); what do they care if some rando thinks they can do better? Besides, have you heard Flynn's recent grumblings about how he's tired of having the same conversations about his work since he was in high school? Why does he keep answering questions he doesn't want to dignify with a response? Why does he sound so miserable for someone who essentially Won the Game(tm)?

People telling you your work sucks a couple of times, yeah, maybe you can chalk that up to trolling. But when damn near everyone takes the excuse to hit below the belt, you start to feel less like "don't feed the trolls" and more like you're deliberately being targeted as a punching bag.

And I'm sorry, but I have no patience for that stuff. Take whatever umbrage you want with the state of criticism these days, but leave the fic out of it. That's all I ask.

[cursed-rat-of-homosexuality]

A good is-Tom-Normal-About-That-Media? meter is how I deal with music related to that specific media. Unfortunately in OFMD's case it's ticking in the "Brain Rotted Pile of Clown Meat" zone, because I basically went through every song ever made by Nina Simone just to try and guess which two songs are playing in s2.

So you know what??? I'm laying out my predictions here, if any of these starts playing then I'm owed a Jenkins thumbs up or something like that. Idk. I spent four hours of my life on this, I need a hug. I threw the dice and this is what came out.

> These three are my favorites, I have a feeling about them, they smell like OFMD to me and my brainwaves bounce up a bit when I hear them (u know... like the sea.... ha...ha)

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Ed-Coded, sad, moody, it's frantic and helpless in a way that's also really desperate, and ohohoho the rhythm on this one tickles my brain a bit.

Feeling Good

A bit overplayed, basically in every fandom playlist but It! Is! There! For! A! Reason! And that reason is that it's reeeally good and very villain like. Could be Ed-Coded, I'd like to imagine that's him trying to conform into his Kraken/Blackbeard persona, could be other people too though. Use your imagination here.

Do What You Gotta Do

Are all of these Ed-Coded? You might ask. And the answer is, well.... maybe. It's not my fault Executive Producer David Jenkins based Ed's whole character on Nina Simone songs okay????? (I see what you did there you little evil man-shaped weasel. I SEE IT ALL.) But just.. here, look at me... listen to it and tell me it isn't Ed through and through.

> These ones are also very OFMD-like and I wouldn't be putting them in here after sifting through more than 100 songs just because. I also have a feeling about them, but it isn't the overwhelming sense of certain doom I get from the previous three.

Save Me

Ed coded. He loves Stede and he hates that with every fiber of his being. He's still very hurt, but cannot help being fond of the whimsical dipshit, poor guy.

I Shall Be Released

Ed coded, just give my man a break.

I Put A Spell On You

Overplayed one again, this one isn't really coded to any of them. But I feel like it would play after Stede tries to reconcile with Ed for the first time and fails miserably. Ed is still really hurt, and Stede is just realizing the extent to which he hurt him. It's after they just had a discussion, maybe it's raining, Stede is soaking wet calling "Yd! Yd! Yd please talk to me!" But Ed just keeps on walking. It's a romantic comedy staple and we need to have one of these.

Take Care Of Business

Semi-Competent!Stede being the breadwinner of the family is one of my favourite hcs. Ed is really tired of The Pirate Life™️ and I bet he'd fucking love to be a trophy wife, man spent his whole life being the scourge of the seven seas, give him a break for christs sake.

Mr.Bojangles

just... listen to it

Just Say I Love Him

Is- Is that a... no, it can't be! Dios mio, It's... a Stede coded song 😱😱 *pain sounds* *weird bone cracking going on* *little bit of a fleshy sonority to it now* *crashing sounds* *cat meowing* *bone cracking again but this one is good I think*. Ok back to it, this is really just "I should just have told him how I feel" vibes, Stede made a mess, he regrets it. Etc.

That's it then. Did I do this just to prove I was right if any of them appears in S2? Pfft of course not! Who would even do that... lol... Also please feel free to add thinky thoughts to this if y'all are willing! I'd love to hear people's interpretations of the songs.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

What's the point of th's supposed popularity if no one is listening to his music? He's basically an influencer at this point. The Kardashians have more ig followers than Beyonce and Taylor Swift, but they could easily lose those followers, unlike Beyonce and TS, who have the most loyal fan bases in the world. Quality over quantity, honestly.

Wdym his instagram likes don't matter???!?!?!

I think it has to do with everyone's obsession with "GP". Kths started that conversation around some grammys red carpet, I don't remember what year it was when they said "locals" kept asking if taekook were a couple. That's the first time I remember being taken aback and confused about this "gp" and "locals" validation. Then it was because he was in that kitchen show and they all went "omg gp darling this, gp darling that". And it hasn't stopped since solo era started. Do you have any idea of how tired I am of reading "gp" - take a shot everytime you go on army/solos spaces and read those letters.

Nobody cared about "gp" when BTS got all those billboard hot 100 positions and streams thanks to the huge fandom. As I've said before, BTS had a huge fandom for a while but only became somewhat "popular" (as in, random people would know about them - oh sorry, I meant precious GP would know about them) after butter or maybe my universe. Mind you, I've never in 6 years heard anyone in real life say "BTS". Literally Never. Meanwhile I just started this new job a month ago and I've already heard 3 different groups of people of all ages talk about Taylor. I've got students umproptly coming up to me and say "Miss, I've been listening to Taylor Swift songs to practice my English".

You'll see.. kpop fans are stereotyped as white, chubby/obese high school girls with blue hair who spend too much time online daydreaming about celebrities and have no life and get no sex. The truth is that some fans -even if they themselves are white chubby blue haired girls- are obsessed with not being associated to that stereotype. They don't want Taehyung's fans to be some miserable, lonely losers. They want him to have "LOCALS" admiration and respect. When the members opened their own ig accounts, those interactions were a gateway to that, mostly because instagram is you know.. theee place for the skinny, tanned, successful, pretty LOCALS.

I've always thought the whole obsession with "gp" and "locals" was so stupid. There's absolutely nothing wrong in having a big fandom. That's literally how BTS came to be what they were until last year, and armys weren't praying and begging for "gp" support. Taylor gets the numbers she gets because yes, many people around the world know her name and willingly listen to her music; but also because she has a huge ass fanbase. She's been building that fanbase for more than a decade. Three years ago, if you listened to Taylor you would've been considered a pathetic, lonely loser too.

At the end of the day, all this popularity talk it's just fans' own insecurities and their itch to distance themselves and the idol from the image of a "fandom" because they know what everyone thinks of people who are part of fandoms. Ironically, most BTS fans started out as people who didn't know anything about kpop -gp- and two years later they're getting hit tweets calling Jennie a lazy slut and saying "my fave is so popular amongst locals."

Taehyung stans clung to his ig interactions because they thought having the likes of "locals" made him more important or better in every way than the other members. However, in music, it's always better to have a huge fandom that will make eight hours long playlists of your song and play it multiple times a day -investing their own money and time on you- than it is to have random people liking your ig posts. And if what I'm saying it's not enough, take his china bar activities as an example. They bought almost a million albums; there's no 800k "locals" that would've bought his album.

[ive-had-enough-spn]

I would have put this on my twitter account but, due to the persistent stalking I am having to put up with, that is now locked and on private indefinitely. It is likely I will be shutting it down entirely when I officially leave the fandom for good. Which, sadly, seems to be drawing ever closer.

I really tried to pretend like so much wasn't getting on top of me. But the reality is this fandom has made me hate myself as a person. And a lot of that is down to the behaviours that seem to be accepted in it.

Now I appreciate most fandoms have shitty behaviours. But when you're in a fandom where large BNF's have been involved in bullying of other accounts, you'd have thought that there would have been some reflection and learning from that.

Evidently not.

Because every time I go on twitter, there is some new drama that is completely blown out of proportion and shared across the fandom, which just makes it a really miserable place to be.

And when I talk about shitty behaviours I mean the following:

Screenshotting tweets that fans don't agree with to share around the fandom. It's just the cyber equivalent of talking about somebody behind their back because they don't want the OP to engage and defend themselves.

Talking about people behind their back. It leads me nicely into this. So often there will be something problematic that has happened at a convention, or somebody has said something that another person doesn't like and, again, rather than block or not engage. There will be snide, vague, tweets going on about how this person did this. But then not using their name, or using a variation just so they can't read what is being seen.

The constant having a go at the other ship. I'm fine with people saying they don't want to interact with somebody who ships something they don't enjoy. We all need to curate our space on social media, and that is the best way to do it. The issue I have it with those who only go on about how much they hate the other ship, or how problematic it is. And there are a lot of people out there. Some even try and find problematic ships in really innocent tweets and that is so fucking infuriating. Yes, you can talk about how Dean and Sam have a bond without it descending into a rant about how these people are promoting wincest. They're not. They're just talking about two brothers who love each other a lot! And have been through hell, there is nothing wrong in that! That doesn't make it fucking wincest!

Cyberstalking. I don't believe I am the only victim of this. Unfortunately I only have my own experience to share. But I don't believe for a second that nobody knows who is persistently retweeting my accounts. Either way, it's stalking and I'm just so fucking tired of people being silent about it and basically accepting it.

Telling people to unfollow/block others because one person has a problem with them. Maybe this one just hits harder because it happened to me. But anybody who followed through with this is actively involve in cyberbullying. It's as simple as that. I was isolated from people I got on really well with, and I felt like shit. And I still do.

The constant negative tweets about actors. We go to, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And so many people should take this advice. I love Jared, Jensen, Misha and all those involved in the show. But they're just humans, and humans make mistakes. They have bad days They have good days. They have struggles with their personal lives and mental health just like all of us. None of this makes them bad people, it just makes them human. And it's time people stop slagging them off because of something that they've done in the past; they've had a bad day at a convention; or they've said something that you don't like. If you truly don't like it, you don't have to reference it at all. Especially as Misha is an extremely active social media user who is known to have come across fandom tweets in the past. And no doubt probably feels a bit shit if he reads somebody slagging him, or his friends, off. It's no wonder he can look 'miserable' at conventions when he had to constantly deal with that.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not innocent. And this is why the fandom has made me hate myself.

I have engaged in these kind of behaviours to. Screenshotting tweets I didn't agree with; being involved in group chats where we basically rip people down for daring to have an opposing opinion; getting involved in whispers about others on twitter when their behaviour was problematic, even though I should have just taking my own advice to block it off my timeline.

Because the reality is, it isn't me, I was just so desperate for approval that I engaged in some really horrible stuff and I regret ever being that person.

I also regret some of my earlier stories. I've considered orphaning them for a while now, and maybe one day I will. But we will see.

That being said, I don't regret calling out those who have deliberately harmed me. I still stand by everything I said. Because I know for a fact from friends that they did everything possible to isolate me from the fandom. Even going as far as telling others they should unfollow and block me.

That is why I have no regrets in that regard. Because people like that are the biggest issue with the fandom.

It's a shame. Because I love the show. I was 15 when it was first aired in my country and I instantly fell in love with Dean as a character and Jensen as an actor. He is why I came back, but I half wish he had never been cast as Soldier Boy, because I had happily left Supernatural behind 10 years before.

The other shame is that. I don't believe the whole fandom is bad. There are some inherently good people who have been dragged into some shitty situations. I've found those on Tumblr to be kind and supportive, so I don't know if this is mainly a twitter thing. That being said, some of my attackers are on Tumblr, and with Tumblr encouraging those on Twitter to move over, I just worry that more of these behaviours will be seen here soon.

And that really saddens me. Because fandoms should be a fun and safe space. The actors always talk about how supportive the fandom is, but the reality isn't that simple. And over the last 4 months this fact has really hit home for me.

Anyway, if people read this. Please, for the sake of improving this fandom, just block people if you don't agree with them. Don't be a dick.

[seth-burroughs]

the fucking kokohead

I am in so much pain right now my flesh is melting tbh anyway miss Kokohead you got. A Lot. No tierlist we're doing this the hard way of our ancestors but mostly mine, on a scale from 1/10, descending order, counting only those I either saw or thought up myself at some point

Kokogami (Yuma x Shinigami): 10/10 perfect I could just end it there, what the hell do you want me to say, you played the game. You saw them. I love being an annoying kokogami fan, seriously fuck you if you don't like kokogami I hope kokogami haters feel so oppressed and targeted by this statement especially you, you may have deleted your reblog and turned on anon but you will never delete your sins nor be granted anonymity before the judgment of god aka Yomi Hellsmile. Sorry I am very passionate about kokogami I can't help it. Also I'm revisiting MDARC and seeing their first interactions again so I'll probably won't be normal for quite a while. They make me so sad and happy and horny and cathartic I'm not okay. Nothing will ever be okay after the MDARC ending also they're pretty much canon at this point like I'm pretty sure they had sex on screen several times

Kokohell (Yuma x Yomi): 10/10 If I wasn't so sad and miserable and tired all the time nowadays I would have drawn them so often alas. Anyway what do I even say. One of the most Yuma ships that ever shipped. Don't mess with kokohell fans there's 4 of us 5 if you count that other japanese person from pixiv/twitter that has stopped making kokohell fanart like months ago. I like bonking the main protags and antags together in nearly all fandoms, aesthetically they slay, their dynamic is already glorious even discounting all the shit I just made up in my head and would be improved 10000x times if we locked them in the Utena Yuri Jail until they finally fuck, it'd actually be so fucked and I'm trying my fucking best to prevent myself from just chewing on my arm right now because arrrrghhrhrh grrr grrrr. Anyway not quite on the level of kokogami but I'm not fucking okay thinking about this either. How could I be . When these freaks exist.

Kokoford (Yuma x Fubuki): 9/10 excellent vibes in a way chapter 3 was the best chapter because it had Fubuki in it and she literally has the power to make any dynamic better. You can imagine Fubuki with literally every single character and it's actually really good because she just has this thing about her that makes everything worth it. Sometimes I remember that one fucking post that said Kodaka normalizes the grooming of little boys because Predator Fubuki wanted Minor-coded Yuma to date her and I get so ma- wait actually I just fucking remembered that scene????? she really literally asked him to consider being her boyfriend in their gumshoe gabs oh my god I am in fucking heaven I'm making it higher than kokofurio actually

Kokofurio (Yuma x Yakou): 9/10 perfect I actually didn't expect to like this one that much. I don't agree with the popular headcanon of him being a "father figure" to Yuma mainly because 1) these are grown ass men 2) i hate the found family trope 3) sure Yuma might call him daddy a few times but father just sounds too formal you know,

Makoyuma (Yuma x Makoto): 7/10 and points removed only because I literally think about it like, once in a year. Like on paper they are mega compelling but unfortunately I cannot bring myself to care or maybe just forgot if I did earlier. Maybe when I get to all the makoyuma scenes on my revisit it'll awaken something I literally have nothing to say right now. For now I'll just say their dates are NOT fucking normal

Kokoxander (Yuma x Fake/Hitman Zilch): 6/10 I saw it quite a few times actually and it's interesting I'd say!! Though it's pretty much impossible (or just weird, lmao) for me to imagine Aide having feelings for, let alone pursue, anyone other than Yomi I mean if I squint there is something there that makes me want to start biting and shaking it around in my teeth. The 2-minute long yaoi they must have had on the train was bizarre and unnerving. In less angst-packed scenarios, like a kokohell au I can 100% see Yomi just introducing his new chewstick boyfriend to Aide and him having to tolerate him which pretty much progresses like. Aide says he doesn't want a new pet guy, Yomi gets one anyway, two weeks later Aide and Yuma found moaning sexually while lighting each other's cigarettes looking into each others eyes in a non-bro way locked in tender embrace anyway I don't know what they're typically called cause like 3 entire people including myself ship it so I made up one on the spot and kinda sounds like some hard drug name. Also Yomi makes them fuck while he watches and sits upon the Fudanshi Throne in front of them. This is the kind of fucked up twisted shit that happens when he acquires a polycule

Kokowendy (Yuma x Kurumi): 5/10 I like their dynamic fine actually and I don't really know if that's a common opinion here? I just don't know if I'll really prefer it as romantic instead of just what it was in the game. I love Kurumi what a funky little lad I don't trust people who don't like Kurumi. I want to put that boy (tmasc beam activate) in so much wacky situations and many of them don't even involve Yuma

Kokomare (Yuma x Halara): 3/10 I like their dynamic but there's not an ounce of love within Halara's body that's not exclusively reserved for adorable little kitties. Not a single romantic or sexual or platonic or familial thought in them. They view Yuma as like, kind of like a wet stray kitten they are graciously taking in they'll never admit it but he's kinda cute with those prey animal eyes

Kokobolt (Yuma x Desuhiko): 1/10 sorry not for me + I don't like Desuhiko

Kokolight (Yuma x Vivia): 1/10 sorry not for me + I don't like Vivia

[fonulyn]

Wait, wait, wait, goodbye??? Please no! You're one of my absolute favorite writers, and I especially adore how you write metaltango. I don't want to lose you too 😭♥ which Fandom isn't good to you? The resi Fandom as a whole, or?

thank you for the kind words 💖

idk i'm just very lonely and sad and tired. it's... very lonely to churn out thousands upon thousands words and then maybe a couple of people like it enough to say something, and it's just wearing me out because i crave interaction as a part of this process. it's like driving for hours and then getting a spoonful of gas into the tank. it's not sustainable. i'm driving on fumes.

and most of all i can't keep doing this to myself. i hype myself up for a new fic, get super excited to share it, get all "well this time people will love it as much as i do!" ...but it doesn't happen. i'm again left wondering what i did wrong and where i fell short because yeah no one did love it like i did. i keep getting excited over nicely structured sentences, over clever references, over concepts i think work super well, and i hold my breath wishing someone would notice... but it doesn't happen.

and i'm so tired.

i'm also being somewhat dramatic, i'm aware, because there are some fics that got a better response and i truly am thankful for every single nice comment i've gotten! each time someone takes the time to type out something in the comment field it makes me really happy.

and i'm aware it's my own damn fault for writing niche pairings and niche tropes :'D but urgh. like the Damnation au I was so excited for it but clearly it tanked miserably lmao so I am tempted to just axe it. or the mutant baby series, for which i had SIX fics planned but yeah 3-6 now might not see light of day.

i guess i'm just. i have too high hopes, probably. i had a friend, once upon a time, who did quote things they liked and made me feel seen in the way i craved so maybe i'm still mourning that and unable to get over the grief of not only losing that but losing the friendship as well. idek. or maybe i'm just a selfish hag :'D

ANYHOW this is super long already but I'll still say that I don't know if this actually is a goodbye or not. I do have a list of like thirty things I still want to write! and I am not ready to give up on these characters and the dynamics between them. so who knows. maybe in a few weeks i'll slink back like nothing ever happened. it wouldn't be the first time!

[angelofthepage]

I don't know if this has already been answered but what got you interested in bendy

Hey there Anon, hope you're doing well! Thanks for the question! I love getting to tell this story. So, I have told this story before, it's actually most of the first chunk of this video here, but I'd like to tell it again.

I got into Bendy in part because of the nerdcore community. Fan songs were something I'd never really been exposed to, and hearing Can't Be Erased for the first time over a discord call with some friends is what initially piqued my interest. When I found the original music video for it and saw Sammy for the first time, I was so curious as to what his deal was based on design alone. Everything else in this world looked like a cartoon made monstrous, but he looked human at his core, and that was interesting in a really odd contrasted way. It was enough to get me to watch the first two chapters in a friend's Let's Play. Little did I know I would end up utterly obsessed with this thing for the next seven years. XD The art style, the world, it was unlike anything I'd ever seen before in a game. It was magical.

I often say that Bendy is a story that came into my life right when I needed it. I was a struggling college student that just broke out of the longest relationship I'd ever held, and I didn't have a lot of friends. I felt worthless, used up like a tissue, utterly alone. My art was struggling, I didn't think I'd ever make it anywhere, that I could ever be a good artist. And then this story comes along and shows me a cast of characters that suffered, so much. The whole story is about how Joey hurt so many people, and there was something that clicked for me, especially with Sammy, Susie, and Henry, that made me say "I don't want this for myself." I saw myself in these characters, I saw people that were destroyed, taken advantage of, driven to madness to the point of no return. And I just wanted to hug and comfort them. I wanted to reach out and tell them that it wasn't true. Susie, you are beautiful, you always have been. And Joey is a fool not to see it. Sammy, it's not worth suffering for a monster that doesn't care about you. There's got to be a better way. Henry...this isn't your fault. You stood up for yourself, you don't deserve to suffer because you set a boundary and took care of you. This didn't happen because of you, this would've happened regardless because Joey has no care for others. Who could've known he'd go this far?

And I think...a big part of what hooked me and why I have such sympathetic takes on this cast is we had a really passionate fanbase that wrote that way. Henry blaming himself for all of this is absolutely a fanon thing, and it hurt me. Seeing fans explore these characters and be unafraid to experiment made me feel like maybe I had a place here. My previous experiences were all in the Sonic fandom, with a small hint of Pokemon and Kingdom Hearts. People I knew were gatekeepy, rude when you tried to deviate from the canon, and trashed every game before they even came out. It was exhausting to be amongst people that were so miserable (and that's not to say the entire fandom is, I've since met way better people over in the Sonic world). I was tired of not being allowed to be experimental. I was tired of having to hold back my excitement because it made me a "trash fan". Bendy wasn't like that to start, our fandom was so excited to vibe and have a good time with a whole slew of concepts. And it didn't matter how canon or not the stuff you played with was, all that mattered was that we were having a good time telling stories. That's what attracted me to it. That's why I continue to write a fanfiction that very much has the vibes of the early Bendy fandom. People were having fun with this thing I liked, and I very cautiously wanted to try again and join in. And over the years, there's been an ebb and flow where I've had some really great communities, and some friends that I'm so grateful to know.

Anon, I don't know what compelled you to send your ask in, but thank you, I'm really glad you did. I think you just helped me answer something that's been plaguing me for a bit. I want to get back to the fun of just vibing with Bendy.

[constelationprize]

hi! i’d love if you’d answer a, u, and o for the ask game

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

I am currently in Rhaenicent brainrot lockdown. (someone posted a full edit of them to the full 3:39 minutes of Good Luck Babe to YouTube and I'm being very mentally well about it). My beloved doomed yuri. I cannot wait until Alicent has to (redacted) (redacted) (redacted) Rhaenyra and then be miserable about it the rest of her life. I don't care if she's not on Dragonstone in the books life will find a way.

HOWEVER I have also been enjoying the armandaniel/Devil's Minion content we have gotten from the IWTV fandom post-finale. They are horrible. I do nothing but look at memes about them all day.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

Instead of choosing I will just shuffle my downloaded songs and report back to you.

I got An Act of Kindness by Bastille and I'm gonna assign that to jeanee :)

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

This one is fun because I instantly forgot every media I've ever consumed.

So, uh.

Luke Castellan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians – Baby's first morally grey character. I just find him so fascinating as a foil to Percy and as a villain in and off himself. Unfortunately he is struck by the curse of being part of a middle grade franchise and so people often engage with his character in a very black-and-white way, and I hate how people use a single, ambiguous line in his literal last scene to moralize about him. ANYWAY. He did in fact do all that shit but he was Literally Right. So.

Adam Parrish, The Raven Cycle – he's truly the perfect character. He's a liar. He's traumatized. He refuses to accept help and be perceived and so tries to do everything himself, always resulting in making things 100% worse. Most of his problems could be solved by open communication and polyamory, and he refuses to do either. He's a real magician that does fake card readings for money. He does absolutely everything wrong and still manages to get everything he wants. He got rid of one of the villains by framing him for murder. He fully killed a guy. He's even bisexual. What's not to love?

Mallory Glass aka Sister Carpenter, The Silt Verses – Maybe my favorite podcast protagonist of all time. Attack dog of the faith. She's jaded and cynical and still gets emotionally attached to almost everyone she meets. The only thing she wants in life is a peaceful retirement from making horrible human sacrifices and two separate gods refuse to let her. We listen as she gets more and more tired of the world around her and the path the marginalization of her youth led her to take, and is still forced to keep going. Owner of the iconic line "Tell me more about your god, I wanna know whose house I wrecked", a batshit moment in a batshit episode that's been in my main blog bio for two years. I'm not ready to say goodbye to her this Thursday :(

[itsbinghebitch]

I was trying not to get involved in everything going on right now but after reading your last post I just felt I had to say something. Firstly you seem like a really mature and thoughtful person which is such a breath of fresh air in online spaces in general. The way you're handling the situation is really admirable and your words really resonated with me. I'm relatively new to this fandom (I watched KPTS after the shitshow in January) and, after learning what happened, I've done my best to keep my distance from the cast and BOC and just focus on the story and characters. Based on what I'd read about the case I was willing to give Build the benefit of the doubt but the recent leaked messages make that nearly impossible which is also preventing me from enjoying the series which I've come to love. What makes it worse is that I'm an artist who loves VegasPete and, just like you, every time I try to make art with them, I keep thinking about all the awful comments Build made about Bible and it feels plain wrong to draw them together. Even for someone like me who's not emotionally attached to the actors it's really hard to separate them from the characters and it's making my fandom experience pretty miserable. I have very complicated feelings about the whole ordeal - on one hand as a queer person like you I'm tired of people's homophobia and bigotry being swept under the rug, but on the other hand I've seen first hand what an abusive relationship can do to a person so I can't help but feel some compassion for him too. I truly hope he can reflect on his mistakes and heal and grow as a person. Maybe I'm just too old for celebrity culture and drama but I do feel the need to be able to discuss issues like this one in a calm and level headed manner instead of falling victim to black and white thinking and turning things into a witch hunt. Sorry for the rant and feel free to ignore this message, your post just really resonated with me and I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the matter. I hope you have a lovely day/night ❤️

thank u sm for this message.... i really appreciate you taking the time to write about your experience and i'm glad you felt like you could share ❤️

there isn't a clear-cut answer to the whole debacle. whoever tries to sell you one is a scammer or is speaking out of an emotionally clouded place (as i was last week lol).

taking a look back at everything, i think it's important to acknowledge:

1. multiple things can be true at once: you can feel hurt by build's comments and still feel sympathy for his predicament.

2. you should be able to discuss these things without feeling like you'll get, idk. fandom black points. or get blocked by everyone who thinks differently than you (which happened to me), or even hounded and hacked by people to the point of getting your blog shut down (which happened to blramblings).

3. it's really fucking hard to be a fandom creator in these circumstances. i'm really sorry to hear your art has been impacted. especially in the case of vegaspete, i tend to believe there was an "aura" inextricably linking biblebuild as actors to who they were representing on screen. no one but biblebuild could've been vegaspete for me. it was their contrasting facial features, it was in their on-screen rapport and chemistry for me. their choices in portraying the characters, the behind-the-scene interviews... that aura mesmerized me for an entire year literally. and it's not only fine to admit that the situation complicates your fandom art, it should be an *active conversation* we have as fandom creators. because let me tell you, i don't write fic on top of my insane job out of the goodness of my heart. it's because of that spark of joy i feel, that stepping out of the regular day to day. the moment that joy isn't there anymore, it becomes labor. and let me tell you one thing i DON'T do. it's FREE LABOR corporations fuck me on the daily already so why would i let them do it as a hobby too

so yeah thanks so much for sharing your thoughts <3 i rly rly appreciate it and sending you lots of good vibes. who knows what the future holds in store for us etc. etc. but we out here!!!

[ungirthed]

the kisses in atla are actualyl good and cute and wish we could have seen that in action for LoK. also never wish to pin down sexuality cos thanks to the europeans that's when they made stuff that already sucked worse.

maiko with

"i'm bored" "i know" "i'm hungry" "so?" "so get me some food" "sure"

first of all, theyre pissed at each other. and even when they're annoyed they have to touch each other and be in each other's business and be strange and misunderstood but together. she didn't even say "get me some food" that pissed and zuko was irritated but still. he'll do it.

people say they wouldn't work and i don't really get that at all...maybe that ppl don't see It for them (which is fine!) or maybe because fandom wars of things that aren't real (which is stupid).

you can't disentangle their livelihoods and nationhood from their conceptions of self and the way they live. and i think that they are the most likely people—who growing up under, accepting, and/or being a footsoldier of imperialism, colonialism, and fascism and whatever political-economic system they have based on the falseness of ordained rights—could change or at least be open to it. also theyre teenagers. nothing about them lends to intelligibility with regards to their future besides their ages. usually the swiftness of the characters liking each other would make me laugh but it feels nice to be with them and the way they relate to each other.

when zuko said "i don't see it that way" in boiling rock, mai didn't even respond. she was pissed because he left her a note without saying goodbye and she loves him but she wasn't mad at his thoughts. his beliefs. that she must have known he always had. that she may have felt but allowed herself not to—which is a failure in itself and something she will have to atone for forever. they all will.

from what i have seen there seems to be some idea that mai is just a bitch? i guess? but zuko's character shows just how real these people are and how conflicted he is. he's complex but i thought it would be harder to connect to him because i hate everything harmful in this world but you can tell there's so much in him that's just very sensitive, intense, and good. good IN the dark because the dark is light too.

to me i dont think he could be with mai if she couldn't accept that or if she mocked it. her yawning the first time we see them with each other reminded me sm of iroh. at first i was like bitch wtf (after i laughed lmaooo)??? but then i laughed more cos like she obviously did it on purpose. he's not doing well. he never is but he's really not doing well. i was looking forward to the both of them anyway but i didn't want it to be like she's some cunty unfeeling gf and i feared that my fears would be cemented. but it was the opposite!!!

"i don't see it that way" and i think mai is starting to not see it that way too. if she even ever was connected to herself for long enough to think on what that means. her non-response and the fact that they were still talking to each other was such an important signifier. she had nothing to say because that's how they are it seems. the truth is something they need and zuko is genuinely a terrible liar and cannot keep his insides...inside lol. and even though she seems to have a tight lid it's not dishonesty she has a problem with at all. it's the consequences and with him the consequences will never be injurious. it hurts like hell to have someone leave you, break up, have this mission they feel they need to do but harm?

i'm so tired but i love them lmao

which is why i guess i got kinda confused when i saw something about mai not being a person outside of zuko. i REALLY like her character. she could be my favorite if she had a bigger role but i definitely liked her the moment i heard her. that's such a different way to introduce a female character that looks so dark and stoic...she just complains. and her voice is so beautiful lmao but like. she sounded miserable in a funny way. and the comics are really uh interesting (lmao) but it made me like her even more. she's very cool, very funny, very real.

learning how upset and scared she was for/at azula to put an apple on her head to set on fire. knowing that zuko is a sensitive boy who looooves his mom and her love and didn't want mai to hurt because he's a human being seeing another human being in distress so he pushes her to safety. (his "girls are crazy" made me laugh sfm. WE ARE.)

what i really loved was when azula decides to fuck around with her baby brother. i literally said "OH SHIT" irl because that's just such a fucked fucking thing to do. and mai's pause had me thinking she would try something else because you could tell that she didn't appreciate that and was calculating some other way to get what azula needed to finish this bullshit. and in another ep when mai gives azula the Look after she gets up to tend to ty lee bc azula was upset that no one was making out with her...mai makes it sound easy like she's fine with it but it isn't, she's not, and she's tired of all of this bullshit. she wasn't tired or angry enough but she got there.

i looooove love love love love when she says "helping the jerk that dumped me" #1 bc shes making fun of herself and him #2 because it helps her realize what the fuck is going on. i laughed bc she's dragging herself, betraying her imperial lover4life "best friend", and ruining her life in the process. it isn't really over a boy. it's over one of the few things she gives a single shit about because she was given a reason to care.

her scenes are heavily with zuko but that's because, narratively, atla being majorly his story she is in his life. that's how this stuff works. the world does revolve around zuko because the show is also about this amazing character. so the people in his orbit are about him. azula is a person outside of zuko but he is central to her life so he is why her character exists. they dont strip mai of her personhood but to us as a viewer watching the main characters worlds esp the other half of the protagonists (i call him a protag sorryyy) we know mai through zuko. i don't think being a girlfriend to the show's second main character and being introduced via that lens means you are nobody without them. that's a big part of her story tho! but he is not the reason i like her. i like her because i relate to her.

being different is hard especially if you've lived through abuse. being called melancholy and weird, resrved, intense can get really frustrating. having people misunderstand your interests and outlook. and then just being fucking depressed. i saw that the voice actress said her character is depressed (and probably anxious) and it makes complete sense now. that void in you, that need for serotonin, lack of joy in anything, turning yourself off so you can just exist for once. and having oppressive forces always telling you what to do. how to think act talk feel. even how to love. and fucking hating being told what the fuck to do.

everyone's got it all fucking together but the girl who pretends at having it together gets scolded for it but also for ever even thinking of falling apart. she doesn't have to leave those strange gloomy parts of herself behind with zuko and shouldn't with anyone (i know ty lee accepts her so much tho!)

she's not boring in the slightest. she's fucking cool and carries stilettos. fashion icon! but like when things get brighter she can have more interests, a say in herself, a say in her life. she has a safe haven with zuko because he's also all those things that she is too (but very open and honest). being different and unhappy and wanting something more when the world youre in cannot give it to you. for mai she accepted it (mistake. a bad one) and for zuko he just couldn't do it.

when he tells her that he wasn't himself she listens. she knew what he meant. i'm assuming she's felt what it's like to simply not be able to do This anymore. to hold on.

and she does like other people. i mean when zuko asked about that boy when he was being a pussy and jealous during The Beach i was surprised she didn't say "i don't think about him at all" but her reasoning was i don't know him so how can i? that's a different response than simple dismissal over someone you don't know to placate your boyfriend. she's not gonna do that anyway lmao but idk it was so interesting she displayed no hatred. how can i feel for him when i don't know who he is? but not you're the only one for me zuko pls cry some more! thank god

(aside: i like kiyoshi a lot for being serious and stoic but also not. shes' probably not as funny or playful but i love a bisexual bad weird tall bitch. her empathy weighing with the necessity of what is to be done. an individual in a crowd. idk i just like girls like that. and i think kiyoshi is exemplary of the type of person mai could become. all the things that make you different and off to others because you hate pretense and feel a lot become a strength.)

i also love that she lets ty lee hug her. yea personal space but whatever with your close friends you put up with shit. that "clumps?" thing was my faaaaaavorite. first of all cos theyre cute together gotta find some art and fic but also she was playing along. when she asks ty about the circus...did anyone else ask ty lee that? and mai actually being annoyed when ty lee makes fun of her with the makeup.

she is a very full human being living in a place where being an empty miserable shell is normal and they live like the tiny town in footloose. i forgot what katara told the man who killed her moms about himself that was so spot on. just about how EMPTY and unreal their lives are. how they don't know anything at all. they're tiny tiny men. that's what theyre living in and all the people who got out one way or another seem to have that problem: being different.

every time she defies azula even if it isn't to her face. when mai's fed up she cracks a joke at her own expense. if someone gave her some mao she'd def sit and think on it ;) i don't think it's fair to say she had no knowledge of things that her "nation" did but she is a teenager and a sad abused one whose conception of herself is so tied to all the order their environment dictates. the only way out of it was to paper over and try to have people understand her through the necessity of being walled off.

i think as the show goes on the problem is that the characters all feel and know they have to change. what used to work no longer works. they, every single one of htem, are living as abused kids and are trying to make that abuse work. some can never ever make up for the wrongs and probably dont want to, some will always have to attempt but can make an amazing life with that. in the fire nation, mai will always be bored because she's miserable and that misery is part of the fire nation's existence.

we didn't spend a lot of time with her but they made a character people really liked and connected to. whose motives are weird, human, and will forever need to be atoned for. looking cool while kicking people's asses > and having a best friend fuck up her own life cos u inspired her and she loves u then u go 2 prison and then the world is kinda free so she joins a girl gang and gets a gf (i made that up)

in the end mai is with zuko (the series finale group scene is one of my fav scenes in the series and i wish we had more and less of that kiss where i had to watch 2 5 year olds kiss with dramatic ass music omfg) but if she didn't want to be there she wouldn't be. ty lee isn't there. and yes suki is there and we could say it's the couples but suki has been fighting with them (and she and zuko are friends! i mean that's mostly after in the comics but whatever). so they want to be there. mai wants to connect with people and see what they have to do! and a big part of that is being with zuko and caring about what he cares about but her own interest herself. what are her interests? i wish we had gotten more time to see her hobbies or who she was. that isnt because they made her about zuko but simply the structure of the show. now i could expect more but considering they made a character who is relegated to girlfriend and, in typical atla fashion, wrote something solid is good to me. that's why i can like them a lot.

i don't think mai has also ever really lied except if she needed to. i have to go back and check but it strikes me that she's actually honest. i think this bitch is so cool!!!

the beach = ember island