#maybe I'm just tired of this fandom being so miserable all the time. you don't have to be here if you're not having fun!

[pigeonclaw]

the amount of times I have potentially controversial opinions that I type up and then save in my drafts forever because I still feel them but am too shy and afraid to choose violence in any way

[hermitcraftx]

I agree with your post about hermit fans in regard to things being very popular. I’ve seen more people being angry and annoyed about scarian in the last six months than people celebrating it. Not tagging shipping is shit but it’s better than harassing people. I don’t know what was put in the water but something changed drastically and I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s seen it.

IT'S FUCKING INSANE! This fandom used to be so positive and welcoming and overall way more pleasant than some... other MCYT fandoms, but now??? I can't log on without seeing untagged negative interpretations in the main tags, can't express an opinion without getting anons calling me heterosexual sympathizers and hoping that I die, everyone has turned their back on everything that used to make this fandom really... fun? Like, I don't tag ON MY BLOG, but usually I don't maintag my shipping posts, and if I do, I tag the ship name so people can filter it.... I don't maintag duo names. What the fuck happened to make everyone so- miserable. Anons are probably going to be permanently off for me, too many people comfortable with their opinions and not comfortable with mine and desperately needing to tell me that.

And like- look. I get not liking interpretations. Personally I'm not a fan of the Double Life cheating arc because of how abusive and out of character people made Grian be, and I had to avoid ao3 for a bit because of that and filter the fucking tags. Same thing with found family dynamics. Just because you don't like something doesn't make it "overrated and popular" and just because you don't like something doesn't make it immoral or unethical either!!! People have to make everything a moral standpoint nowadays and it's really exhausting-

But that's a tirade. All over all the confessions blogs there's "scarian is overrated" despite Grian having nearly 10mil subscribers and most of them being on YouTube and considering all the hermits friends or family truthing them. Yes, there is more shipping than before- that's because Hermitcraft season 8 made it very obvious that the people on the SMP and the people IRL are very different, and it's no longer considered RPF. None of the real hermits died via moon explosion, ZombieCleo often says she's doing "lore", they make different skins, even GRIAN acknowledges that he's acting and playing a part with the permit office. Despite all that, there's STILL wars on shipping and people insisting that we're shipping real people, I fought this war on the DSMP side of things and it's SO TIRING.

DND podcast listeners, do you ship the people playing the characters? NO!!!!! Unless you do, in which case, have fun with that. I don't really care about RPF and I filtered the tags for it a long time ago, so maybe they do do that.

Every other day I see "Third life is overrated" "Last life is overrated" (LAST LIFE IS OFTEN THE LEAST FAVORITE SEASON I SEE PEOPLE SAY!), "the life series is overrated" "the cactus ring is fucking stupid" "they left the desert but we didn't" "no, THIS interpretation of scarian is bad and wrong" and like... guys. Guys. Fandom is supposed to be fun. It is not supposed to be a full time job. It is not supposed to be moral or ethical and you shouldn't feel the need to police shit. Jesus Christ, every other month there's a new fad that tumblr users flock to and once it's over everyone goes "EWWW THAT WAS LAME AND OVERRATED AND I NEVER LIKED IT ANYWAY" like.... I promise you cannibalism as an allegory for love is not mainstream you are just on Tumblr.

Like Good God. If it's so bad here go to Twitter. I'm sick of all the complaining and misery and hatred and I miss when things were fun- people are so scared of being cliche that they don't want to write things that they enjoy. Where are the coffee shop aus???? Where are the fun silly things??? Where are the 100k grimdark fics with worldbuilding??? Wheres the 500k fics that aren't even about the same characters anymore but that we love just the same??? Where are the forums and people talking to each other in comments and meeting each other that way??? Where are the roleplay servers?????? What are you all doing??????

People are scared of being judged. They want to do what everyone else is doing. They don't want to be cringe or cliche and every day I see a "cringe culture is dead" post and then someone making fun of another part of fandom, an antithesis to their previous statement. They don't want to be late to things, either. Who cares if Last Life was a couple years ago? Draw the fanart anyway!

I'm scared. Maybe I'm just old, but every post I see I notice that I get maybe a 10th in reblogs of what I do in likes, and I don't even post my art or fics to this site. Every post is like that. More and more people only like posts and they die, unseen, by everyone. More and more people misuse archive of our own's functions, treating it like it has some algorithm, when it doesn't, and it never has and hopefully never will. I see fic reuploads to "gain traction" (not how it works) and people reaching out to find RP partners (breaking TOS) and all sorts of other shit on both sites and it fucking horrifies me. I'm not even that old- I'm eighteen, and I can already tell how fandom has changed for the worst for everyone. Fandom used to be a community. Not consumption.

It's just... sad. Old fandom had PLENTY of fucking problems, and we have problems here too, but at least the positives outweighed the negatives. It's so... mean here, now. Even the happy things are mean-spirited. People treat it as if certain people have invaded this fandom space, spreading horrible opinions and ruining it for everyone, but the truth is is that shipping is always going to be a thing. It's a foundation of fandom- fandom started with housewives in the 1950s writing Star Trek fanfiction. You can never get rid of shipping. You can just interact with what you want to interact with and leave others to mind their own business.

[skaruresonic]

Remember me? To start off: I'm sorry about triggering some terrible and mentally painful memories when I went off about how I felt about the state of Flynn criticism. I never intended that. I wasn't defending or, heck, even trying to invite discussion about Flynn's rabid fanatics anyway. I could've chosen my words better, but aside from the detractors' mentalities, I meant to focus on Flynn ONLY. And I have nothing against your or their fan fictions. I do fan fiction, too. I just noticed what seemed like extreme shilling surrounding their exposure. I don't aim (and never did) to change minds about the dude, but I find the constructiveness of the critical discourse has been long lost.

Fitting that I received your ask on the first-year anniversary of my visual novel.

And I have nothing against your or their fan fictions. I do fan fiction, too.

Then why bring it up? What does "and your fics aren't even that good" add to the conversation about another writer's work?

I just noticed what seemed like extreme shilling surrounding their exposure.

Ah. There it is.

Look, I'm going to be brutally honest with you. But before I do, I want you to know I'm not angry with you, just annoyed - and perhaps angry in general at the overall situation we're in.

Honestly, the current climate is reminding me of the time antis gentrified Half-Life and caused the old guard to disperse. Everyone in our mutual circle is drifting away from Sonic in some form or another because it's such a toxic cesspit, and what's worse, they blame us for it. Would you want to stay in a situation like that?

Anyway, I have no patience for "you keep shilling your work" anymore because that standard only seems to apply to us. If we held everyone else to that standard, this entire Chili's would be revealed as hypocrites in an instant.

The fic mocking is not an isolated event. I've seen it happen over and over again, for years. Folks mocked Crusher's fic and OCs on TV Tropes. Folks mocked Darklight's OCs on Twitter. Folks sneered that we were too stupid to comprehend storytelling, and once someone said "none of them can even draw."

They can never leave it at "their criticisms suck." No, they have to make things so much more personal than they need to be. In the absence of an actual argument, they call you names, say you deserve all kinds of punishment, including but not limited to death and rape. Crusher had to delete hundreds of threats from his inbox. So please forgive me if my patience has waned paper-thin.

Folks feel the need to knock us down a peg because they think it's "warranted" on the basis of "we have egos." Which is a riot when, again, everyone on social media shills their work. That's what fandom does. You cannot throw a rock in here without hitting someone who thinks their AU improves on the games. I don't know why IDW is so sacrosanct that saying "I could probably do better" is considered blasphemy.

Whether or not my friends shill their own work as being "better" than IDW or whatever else is irrelevant. IDW staff are professionals (or should be, anyway); what do they care if some rando thinks they can do better? Besides, have you heard Flynn's recent grumblings about how he's tired of having the same conversations about his work since he was in high school? Why does he keep answering questions he doesn't want to dignify with a response? Why does he sound so miserable for someone who essentially Won the Game(tm)?

People telling you your work sucks a couple of times, yeah, maybe you can chalk that up to trolling. But when damn near everyone takes the excuse to hit below the belt, you start to feel less like "don't feed the trolls" and more like you're deliberately being targeted as a punching bag.

And I'm sorry, but I have no patience for that stuff. Take whatever umbrage you want with the state of criticism these days, but leave the fic out of it. That's all I ask.

[khaleesiofalicante]

This fandom made me hate Magnus Bane. And it made me despise the ship as well.

I used to really enjoy it, but its fans are so biased and partial and unbalanced.

Magnus Bane is an annoying Mary Sue, especially in fandom work. Talking about the ship, in fandom works it seems always that Magnus is making Alec a favour being with him because Magnus is just so better at everything and Alec is just so undeserving of his love it’s a miracle Magnus even looks at him. And when they fight Magnus is right and Alec has to apologize. And when they breakup Magnus finds another partner and Alec sulks. And for their kids Magnus is the best and most amazing parent ever and Alec is the one that makes everything work but he’s just not as cool.

A fic sounds genuine and even nice to read and then there are quotes from the kids like “yeah, Alec was cool, but Magnus... everyone loved Magnus” or “everybody knew Alec was so lucky to have Magnus Bane as a husband” or anything really that makes the reader think that Magnus is just above Alec, trust me it is sooooo common, and I close it because my blood boils and I’m at this point exhausted of this unjustified and biased worship.

I liked the character. I genuinely used to enjoy it. Now I hope that in the following series in canon he will fuck up and people will leave him miserable and alone because I am so tired of everyone thinking his farts look like glitter and smell like lilies.

I want a ton of fics were Alec is just better and more lovable and known as objectively cooler and everyone acknowledges he is more intelligent and prettier and more deserving and he is doing Magnus a favour being with him because no one understands what Alec Lightwood finds in that “dude”. And I want a ton of them because there is a ton of the opposite and it made me want to make a character I enjoyed disappear from the face of the earth.

It would just be fair.

Ugh, I hate Magnus Bane so much. And it’s this fandom’s fault.

I was so so so tempted to write an ironic fic to "cater to your needs" but I decided against it because I didn't want to waste my time or my words.

This is, with all due respect, the most ridiculous ask I've ever gotten.

Your feelings about Magnus are not the fandom's fault. Yes, there is hate and bias in the fandom - but how you deal with it is entirely your responsibility.

If writers portray Alec as someone who 'worships' Magnus, it is because Alec does worship Magnus. Anyone who says otherwise hasn't read the books and doesn't understand Alec's character.

If you don't like the way Magnus (or Alec) is written in the fics, then don't read those fics. It's as simple as that.

For the record, Alec is good and loveable and so fucking cool. Maybe he is not all that for your standards.

I genuinely will never understand people who claim to love Alec and want Magnus to suffer because loving Alec means protecting Magnus.

If you are unsatisfied with the work in the fandom, write your own shit. Although based on what you explained and how you wanted Magnus portrayed, I'm not sure even Alec would read it.

[cursed-rat-of-homosexuality]

A good is-Tom-Normal-About-That-Media? meter is how I deal with music related to that specific media. Unfortunately in OFMD's case it's ticking in the "Brain Rotted Pile of Clown Meat" zone, because I basically went through every song ever made by Nina Simone just to try and guess which two songs are playing in s2.

So you know what??? I'm laying out my predictions here, if any of these starts playing then I'm owed a Jenkins thumbs up or something like that. Idk. I spent four hours of my life on this, I need a hug. I threw the dice and this is what came out.

> These three are my favorites, I have a feeling about them, they smell like OFMD to me and my brainwaves bounce up a bit when I hear them (u know... like the sea.... ha...ha)

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Ed-Coded, sad, moody, it's frantic and helpless in a way that's also really desperate, and ohohoho the rhythm on this one tickles my brain a bit.

Feeling Good

A bit overplayed, basically in every fandom playlist but It! Is! There! For! A! Reason! And that reason is that it's reeeally good and very villain like. Could be Ed-Coded, I'd like to imagine that's him trying to conform into his Kraken/Blackbeard persona, could be other people too though. Use your imagination here.

Do What You Gotta Do

Are all of these Ed-Coded? You might ask. And the answer is, well.... maybe. It's not my fault Executive Producer David Jenkins based Ed's whole character on Nina Simone songs okay????? (I see what you did there you little evil man-shaped weasel. I SEE IT ALL.) But just.. here, look at me... listen to it and tell me it isn't Ed through and through.

> These ones are also very OFMD-like and I wouldn't be putting them in here after sifting through more than 100 songs just because. I also have a feeling about them, but it isn't the overwhelming sense of certain doom I get from the previous three.

Save Me

Ed coded. He loves Stede and he hates that with every fiber of his being. He's still very hurt, but cannot help being fond of the whimsical dipshit, poor guy.

I Shall Be Released

Ed coded, just give my man a break.

I Put A Spell On You

Overplayed one again, this one isn't really coded to any of them. But I feel like it would play after Stede tries to reconcile with Ed for the first time and fails miserably. Ed is still really hurt, and Stede is just realizing the extent to which he hurt him. It's after they just had a discussion, maybe it's raining, Stede is soaking wet calling "Yd! Yd! Yd please talk to me!" But Ed just keeps on walking. It's a romantic comedy staple and we need to have one of these.

Take Care Of Business

Semi-Competent!Stede being the breadwinner of the family is one of my favourite hcs. Ed is really tired of The Pirate Life™️ and I bet he'd fucking love to be a trophy wife, man spent his whole life being the scourge of the seven seas, give him a break for christs sake.

Mr.Bojangles

just... listen to it

Just Say I Love Him

Is- Is that a... no, it can't be! Dios mio, It's... a Stede coded song 😱😱 *pain sounds* *weird bone cracking going on* *little bit of a fleshy sonority to it now* *crashing sounds* *cat meowing* *bone cracking again but this one is good I think*. Ok back to it, this is really just "I should just have told him how I feel" vibes, Stede made a mess, he regrets it. Etc.

That's it then. Did I do this just to prove I was right if any of them appears in S2? Pfft of course not! Who would even do that... lol... Also please feel free to add thinky thoughts to this if y'all are willing! I'd love to hear people's interpretations of the songs.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

What's the point of th's supposed popularity if no one is listening to his music? He's basically an influencer at this point. The Kardashians have more ig followers than Beyonce and Taylor Swift, but they could easily lose those followers, unlike Beyonce and TS, who have the most loyal fan bases in the world. Quality over quantity, honestly.

Wdym his instagram likes don't matter???!?!?!

I think it has to do with everyone's obsession with "GP". Kths started that conversation around some grammys red carpet, I don't remember what year it was when they said "locals" kept asking if taekook were a couple. That's the first time I remember being taken aback and confused about this "gp" and "locals" validation. Then it was because he was in that kitchen show and they all went "omg gp darling this, gp darling that". And it hasn't stopped since solo era started. Do you have any idea of how tired I am of reading "gp" - take a shot everytime you go on army/solos spaces and read those letters.

Nobody cared about "gp" when BTS got all those billboard hot 100 positions and streams thanks to the huge fandom. As I've said before, BTS had a huge fandom for a while but only became somewhat "popular" (as in, random people would know about them - oh sorry, I meant precious GP would know about them) after butter or maybe my universe. Mind you, I've never in 6 years heard anyone in real life say "BTS". Literally Never. Meanwhile I just started this new job a month ago and I've already heard 3 different groups of people of all ages talk about Taylor. I've got students umproptly coming up to me and say "Miss, I've been listening to Taylor Swift songs to practice my English".

You'll see.. kpop fans are stereotyped as white, chubby/obese high school girls with blue hair who spend too much time online daydreaming about celebrities and have no life and get no sex. The truth is that some fans -even if they themselves are white chubby blue haired girls- are obsessed with not being associated to that stereotype. They don't want Taehyung's fans to be some miserable, lonely losers. They want him to have "LOCALS" admiration and respect. When the members opened their own ig accounts, those interactions were a gateway to that, mostly because instagram is you know.. theee place for the skinny, tanned, successful, pretty LOCALS.

I've always thought the whole obsession with "gp" and "locals" was so stupid. There's absolutely nothing wrong in having a big fandom. That's literally how BTS came to be what they were until last year, and armys weren't praying and begging for "gp" support. Taylor gets the numbers she gets because yes, many people around the world know her name and willingly listen to her music; but also because she has a huge ass fanbase. She's been building that fanbase for more than a decade. Three years ago, if you listened to Taylor you would've been considered a pathetic, lonely loser too.

At the end of the day, all this popularity talk it's just fans' own insecurities and their itch to distance themselves and the idol from the image of a "fandom" because they know what everyone thinks of people who are part of fandoms. Ironically, most BTS fans started out as people who didn't know anything about kpop -gp- and two years later they're getting hit tweets calling Jennie a lazy slut and saying "my fave is so popular amongst locals."

Taehyung stans clung to his ig interactions because they thought having the likes of "locals" made him more important or better in every way than the other members. However, in music, it's always better to have a huge fandom that will make eight hours long playlists of your song and play it multiple times a day -investing their own money and time on you- than it is to have random people liking your ig posts. And if what I'm saying it's not enough, take his china bar activities as an example. They bought almost a million albums; there's no 800k "locals" that would've bought his album.

[ive-had-enough-spn]

I would have put this on my twitter account but, due to the persistent stalking I am having to put up with, that is now locked and on private indefinitely. It is likely I will be shutting it down entirely when I officially leave the fandom for good. Which, sadly, seems to be drawing ever closer.

I really tried to pretend like so much wasn't getting on top of me. But the reality is this fandom has made me hate myself as a person. And a lot of that is down to the behaviours that seem to be accepted in it.

Now I appreciate most fandoms have shitty behaviours. But when you're in a fandom where large BNF's have been involved in bullying of other accounts, you'd have thought that there would have been some reflection and learning from that.

Evidently not.

Because every time I go on twitter, there is some new drama that is completely blown out of proportion and shared across the fandom, which just makes it a really miserable place to be.

And when I talk about shitty behaviours I mean the following:

Screenshotting tweets that fans don't agree with to share around the fandom. It's just the cyber equivalent of talking about somebody behind their back because they don't want the OP to engage and defend themselves.

Talking about people behind their back. It leads me nicely into this. So often there will be something problematic that has happened at a convention, or somebody has said something that another person doesn't like and, again, rather than block or not engage. There will be snide, vague, tweets going on about how this person did this. But then not using their name, or using a variation just so they can't read what is being seen.

The constant having a go at the other ship. I'm fine with people saying they don't want to interact with somebody who ships something they don't enjoy. We all need to curate our space on social media, and that is the best way to do it. The issue I have it with those who only go on about how much they hate the other ship, or how problematic it is. And there are a lot of people out there. Some even try and find problematic ships in really innocent tweets and that is so fucking infuriating. Yes, you can talk about how Dean and Sam have a bond without it descending into a rant about how these people are promoting wincest. They're not. They're just talking about two brothers who love each other a lot! And have been through hell, there is nothing wrong in that! That doesn't make it fucking wincest!

Cyberstalking. I don't believe I am the only victim of this. Unfortunately I only have my own experience to share. But I don't believe for a second that nobody knows who is persistently retweeting my accounts. Either way, it's stalking and I'm just so fucking tired of people being silent about it and basically accepting it.

Telling people to unfollow/block others because one person has a problem with them. Maybe this one just hits harder because it happened to me. But anybody who followed through with this is actively involve in cyberbullying. It's as simple as that. I was isolated from people I got on really well with, and I felt like shit. And I still do.

The constant negative tweets about actors. We go to, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And so many people should take this advice. I love Jared, Jensen, Misha and all those involved in the show. But they're just humans, and humans make mistakes. They have bad days They have good days. They have struggles with their personal lives and mental health just like all of us. None of this makes them bad people, it just makes them human. And it's time people stop slagging them off because of something that they've done in the past; they've had a bad day at a convention; or they've said something that you don't like. If you truly don't like it, you don't have to reference it at all. Especially as Misha is an extremely active social media user who is known to have come across fandom tweets in the past. And no doubt probably feels a bit shit if he reads somebody slagging him, or his friends, off. It's no wonder he can look 'miserable' at conventions when he had to constantly deal with that.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not innocent. And this is why the fandom has made me hate myself.

I have engaged in these kind of behaviours to. Screenshotting tweets I didn't agree with; being involved in group chats where we basically rip people down for daring to have an opposing opinion; getting involved in whispers about others on twitter when their behaviour was problematic, even though I should have just taking my own advice to block it off my timeline.

Because the reality is, it isn't me, I was just so desperate for approval that I engaged in some really horrible stuff and I regret ever being that person.

I also regret some of my earlier stories. I've considered orphaning them for a while now, and maybe one day I will. But we will see.

That being said, I don't regret calling out those who have deliberately harmed me. I still stand by everything I said. Because I know for a fact from friends that they did everything possible to isolate me from the fandom. Even going as far as telling others they should unfollow and block me.

That is why I have no regrets in that regard. Because people like that are the biggest issue with the fandom.

It's a shame. Because I love the show. I was 15 when it was first aired in my country and I instantly fell in love with Dean as a character and Jensen as an actor. He is why I came back, but I half wish he had never been cast as Soldier Boy, because I had happily left Supernatural behind 10 years before.

The other shame is that. I don't believe the whole fandom is bad. There are some inherently good people who have been dragged into some shitty situations. I've found those on Tumblr to be kind and supportive, so I don't know if this is mainly a twitter thing. That being said, some of my attackers are on Tumblr, and with Tumblr encouraging those on Twitter to move over, I just worry that more of these behaviours will be seen here soon.

And that really saddens me. Because fandoms should be a fun and safe space. The actors always talk about how supportive the fandom is, but the reality isn't that simple. And over the last 4 months this fact has really hit home for me.

Anyway, if people read this. Please, for the sake of improving this fandom, just block people if you don't agree with them. Don't be a dick.

[seth-burroughs]

the fucking kokohead

I am in so much pain right now my flesh is melting tbh anyway miss Kokohead you got. A Lot. No tierlist we're doing this the hard way of our ancestors but mostly mine, on a scale from 1/10, descending order, counting only those I either saw or thought up myself at some point

Kokogami (Yuma x Shinigami): 10/10 perfect I could just end it there, what the hell do you want me to say, you played the game. You saw them. I love being an annoying kokogami fan, seriously fuck you if you don't like kokogami I hope kokogami haters feel so oppressed and targeted by this statement especially you, you may have deleted your reblog and turned on anon but you will never delete your sins nor be granted anonymity before the judgment of god aka Yomi Hellsmile. Sorry I am very passionate about kokogami I can't help it. Also I'm revisiting MDARC and seeing their first interactions again so I'll probably won't be normal for quite a while. They make me so sad and happy and horny and cathartic I'm not okay. Nothing will ever be okay after the MDARC ending also they're pretty much canon at this point like I'm pretty sure they had sex on screen several times

Kokohell (Yuma x Yomi): 10/10 If I wasn't so sad and miserable and tired all the time nowadays I would have drawn them so often alas. Anyway what do I even say. One of the most Yuma ships that ever shipped. Don't mess with kokohell fans there's 4 of us 5 if you count that other japanese person from pixiv/twitter that has stopped making kokohell fanart like months ago. I like bonking the main protags and antags together in nearly all fandoms, aesthetically they slay, their dynamic is already glorious even discounting all the shit I just made up in my head and would be improved 10000x times if we locked them in the Utena Yuri Jail until they finally fuck, it'd actually be so fucked and I'm trying my fucking best to prevent myself from just chewing on my arm right now because arrrrghhrhrh grrr grrrr. Anyway not quite on the level of kokogami but I'm not fucking okay thinking about this either. How could I be . When these freaks exist.

Kokoford (Yuma x Fubuki): 9/10 excellent vibes in a way chapter 3 was the best chapter because it had Fubuki in it and she literally has the power to make any dynamic better. You can imagine Fubuki with literally every single character and it's actually really good because she just has this thing about her that makes everything worth it. Sometimes I remember that one fucking post that said Kodaka normalizes the grooming of little boys because Predator Fubuki wanted Minor-coded Yuma to date her and I get so ma- wait actually I just fucking remembered that scene????? she really literally asked him to consider being her boyfriend in their gumshoe gabs oh my god I am in fucking heaven I'm making it higher than kokofurio actually

Kokofurio (Yuma x Yakou): 9/10 perfect I actually didn't expect to like this one that much. I don't agree with the popular headcanon of him being a "father figure" to Yuma mainly because 1) these are grown ass men 2) i hate the found family trope 3) sure Yuma might call him daddy a few times but father just sounds too formal you know,

Makoyuma (Yuma x Makoto): 7/10 and points removed only because I literally think about it like, once in a year. Like on paper they are mega compelling but unfortunately I cannot bring myself to care or maybe just forgot if I did earlier. Maybe when I get to all the makoyuma scenes on my revisit it'll awaken something I literally have nothing to say right now. For now I'll just say their dates are NOT fucking normal

Kokoxander (Yuma x Fake/Hitman Zilch): 6/10 I saw it quite a few times actually and it's interesting I'd say!! Though it's pretty much impossible (or just weird, lmao) for me to imagine Aide having feelings for, let alone pursue, anyone other than Yomi I mean if I squint there is something there that makes me want to start biting and shaking it around in my teeth. The 2-minute long yaoi they must have had on the train was bizarre and unnerving. In less angst-packed scenarios, like a kokohell au I can 100% see Yomi just introducing his new chewstick boyfriend to Aide and him having to tolerate him which pretty much progresses like. Aide says he doesn't want a new pet guy, Yomi gets one anyway, two weeks later Aide and Yuma found moaning sexually while lighting each other's cigarettes looking into each others eyes in a non-bro way locked in tender embrace anyway I don't know what they're typically called cause like 3 entire people including myself ship it so I made up one on the spot and kinda sounds like some hard drug name. Also Yomi makes them fuck while he watches and sits upon the Fudanshi Throne in front of them. This is the kind of fucked up twisted shit that happens when he acquires a polycule

Kokowendy (Yuma x Kurumi): 5/10 I like their dynamic fine actually and I don't really know if that's a common opinion here? I just don't know if I'll really prefer it as romantic instead of just what it was in the game. I love Kurumi what a funky little lad I don't trust people who don't like Kurumi. I want to put that boy (tmasc beam activate) in so much wacky situations and many of them don't even involve Yuma

Kokomare (Yuma x Halara): 3/10 I like their dynamic but there's not an ounce of love within Halara's body that's not exclusively reserved for adorable little kitties. Not a single romantic or sexual or platonic or familial thought in them. They view Yuma as like, kind of like a wet stray kitten they are graciously taking in they'll never admit it but he's kinda cute with those prey animal eyes

Kokobolt (Yuma x Desuhiko): 1/10 sorry not for me + I don't like Desuhiko

Kokolight (Yuma x Vivia): 1/10 sorry not for me + I don't like Vivia

[fonulyn]

Wait, wait, wait, goodbye??? Please no! You're one of my absolute favorite writers, and I especially adore how you write metaltango. I don't want to lose you too 😭♥ which Fandom isn't good to you? The resi Fandom as a whole, or?

thank you for the kind words 💖

idk i'm just very lonely and sad and tired. it's... very lonely to churn out thousands upon thousands words and then maybe a couple of people like it enough to say something, and it's just wearing me out because i crave interaction as a part of this process. it's like driving for hours and then getting a spoonful of gas into the tank. it's not sustainable. i'm driving on fumes.

and most of all i can't keep doing this to myself. i hype myself up for a new fic, get super excited to share it, get all "well this time people will love it as much as i do!" ...but it doesn't happen. i'm again left wondering what i did wrong and where i fell short because yeah no one did love it like i did. i keep getting excited over nicely structured sentences, over clever references, over concepts i think work super well, and i hold my breath wishing someone would notice... but it doesn't happen.

and i'm so tired.

i'm also being somewhat dramatic, i'm aware, because there are some fics that got a better response and i truly am thankful for every single nice comment i've gotten! each time someone takes the time to type out something in the comment field it makes me really happy.

and i'm aware it's my own damn fault for writing niche pairings and niche tropes :'D but urgh. like the Damnation au I was so excited for it but clearly it tanked miserably lmao so I am tempted to just axe it. or the mutant baby series, for which i had SIX fics planned but yeah 3-6 now might not see light of day.

i guess i'm just. i have too high hopes, probably. i had a friend, once upon a time, who did quote things they liked and made me feel seen in the way i craved so maybe i'm still mourning that and unable to get over the grief of not only losing that but losing the friendship as well. idek. or maybe i'm just a selfish hag :'D

ANYHOW this is super long already but I'll still say that I don't know if this actually is a goodbye or not. I do have a list of like thirty things I still want to write! and I am not ready to give up on these characters and the dynamics between them. so who knows. maybe in a few weeks i'll slink back like nothing ever happened. it wouldn't be the first time!

[angelofthepage]

I don't know if this has already been answered but what got you interested in bendy

Hey there Anon, hope you're doing well! Thanks for the question! I love getting to tell this story. So, I have told this story before, it's actually most of the first chunk of this video here, but I'd like to tell it again.

I got into Bendy in part because of the nerdcore community. Fan songs were something I'd never really been exposed to, and hearing Can't Be Erased for the first time over a discord call with some friends is what initially piqued my interest. When I found the original music video for it and saw Sammy for the first time, I was so curious as to what his deal was based on design alone. Everything else in this world looked like a cartoon made monstrous, but he looked human at his core, and that was interesting in a really odd contrasted way. It was enough to get me to watch the first two chapters in a friend's Let's Play. Little did I know I would end up utterly obsessed with this thing for the next seven years. XD The art style, the world, it was unlike anything I'd ever seen before in a game. It was magical.

I often say that Bendy is a story that came into my life right when I needed it. I was a struggling college student that just broke out of the longest relationship I'd ever held, and I didn't have a lot of friends. I felt worthless, used up like a tissue, utterly alone. My art was struggling, I didn't think I'd ever make it anywhere, that I could ever be a good artist. And then this story comes along and shows me a cast of characters that suffered, so much. The whole story is about how Joey hurt so many people, and there was something that clicked for me, especially with Sammy, Susie, and Henry, that made me say "I don't want this for myself." I saw myself in these characters, I saw people that were destroyed, taken advantage of, driven to madness to the point of no return. And I just wanted to hug and comfort them. I wanted to reach out and tell them that it wasn't true. Susie, you are beautiful, you always have been. And Joey is a fool not to see it. Sammy, it's not worth suffering for a monster that doesn't care about you. There's got to be a better way. Henry...this isn't your fault. You stood up for yourself, you don't deserve to suffer because you set a boundary and took care of you. This didn't happen because of you, this would've happened regardless because Joey has no care for others. Who could've known he'd go this far?

And I think...a big part of what hooked me and why I have such sympathetic takes on this cast is we had a really passionate fanbase that wrote that way. Henry blaming himself for all of this is absolutely a fanon thing, and it hurt me. Seeing fans explore these characters and be unafraid to experiment made me feel like maybe I had a place here. My previous experiences were all in the Sonic fandom, with a small hint of Pokemon and Kingdom Hearts. People I knew were gatekeepy, rude when you tried to deviate from the canon, and trashed every game before they even came out. It was exhausting to be amongst people that were so miserable (and that's not to say the entire fandom is, I've since met way better people over in the Sonic world). I was tired of not being allowed to be experimental. I was tired of having to hold back my excitement because it made me a "trash fan". Bendy wasn't like that to start, our fandom was so excited to vibe and have a good time with a whole slew of concepts. And it didn't matter how canon or not the stuff you played with was, all that mattered was that we were having a good time telling stories. That's what attracted me to it. That's why I continue to write a fanfiction that very much has the vibes of the early Bendy fandom. People were having fun with this thing I liked, and I very cautiously wanted to try again and join in. And over the years, there's been an ebb and flow where I've had some really great communities, and some friends that I'm so grateful to know.

Anon, I don't know what compelled you to send your ask in, but thank you, I'm really glad you did. I think you just helped me answer something that's been plaguing me for a bit. I want to get back to the fun of just vibing with Bendy.

[constelationprize]

hi! i’d love if you’d answer a, u, and o for the ask game

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

I am currently in Rhaenicent brainrot lockdown. (someone posted a full edit of them to the full 3:39 minutes of Good Luck Babe to YouTube and I'm being very mentally well about it). My beloved doomed yuri. I cannot wait until Alicent has to (redacted) (redacted) (redacted) Rhaenyra and then be miserable about it the rest of her life. I don't care if she's not on Dragonstone in the books life will find a way.

HOWEVER I have also been enjoying the armandaniel/Devil's Minion content we have gotten from the IWTV fandom post-finale. They are horrible. I do nothing but look at memes about them all day.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

Instead of choosing I will just shuffle my downloaded songs and report back to you.

I got An Act of Kindness by Bastille and I'm gonna assign that to jeanee :)

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

This one is fun because I instantly forgot every media I've ever consumed.

So, uh.

Luke Castellan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians – Baby's first morally grey character. I just find him so fascinating as a foil to Percy and as a villain in and off himself. Unfortunately he is struck by the curse of being part of a middle grade franchise and so people often engage with his character in a very black-and-white way, and I hate how people use a single, ambiguous line in his literal last scene to moralize about him. ANYWAY. He did in fact do all that shit but he was Literally Right. So.

Adam Parrish, The Raven Cycle – he's truly the perfect character. He's a liar. He's traumatized. He refuses to accept help and be perceived and so tries to do everything himself, always resulting in making things 100% worse. Most of his problems could be solved by open communication and polyamory, and he refuses to do either. He's a real magician that does fake card readings for money. He does absolutely everything wrong and still manages to get everything he wants. He got rid of one of the villains by framing him for murder. He fully killed a guy. He's even bisexual. What's not to love?

Mallory Glass aka Sister Carpenter, The Silt Verses – Maybe my favorite podcast protagonist of all time. Attack dog of the faith. She's jaded and cynical and still gets emotionally attached to almost everyone she meets. The only thing she wants in life is a peaceful retirement from making horrible human sacrifices and two separate gods refuse to let her. We listen as she gets more and more tired of the world around her and the path the marginalization of her youth led her to take, and is still forced to keep going. Owner of the iconic line "Tell me more about your god, I wanna know whose house I wrecked", a batshit moment in a batshit episode that's been in my main blog bio for two years. I'm not ready to say goodbye to her this Thursday :(

[itsbinghebitch]

I was trying not to get involved in everything going on right now but after reading your last post I just felt I had to say something. Firstly you seem like a really mature and thoughtful person which is such a breath of fresh air in online spaces in general. The way you're handling the situation is really admirable and your words really resonated with me. I'm relatively new to this fandom (I watched KPTS after the shitshow in January) and, after learning what happened, I've done my best to keep my distance from the cast and BOC and just focus on the story and characters. Based on what I'd read about the case I was willing to give Build the benefit of the doubt but the recent leaked messages make that nearly impossible which is also preventing me from enjoying the series which I've come to love. What makes it worse is that I'm an artist who loves VegasPete and, just like you, every time I try to make art with them, I keep thinking about all the awful comments Build made about Bible and it feels plain wrong to draw them together. Even for someone like me who's not emotionally attached to the actors it's really hard to separate them from the characters and it's making my fandom experience pretty miserable. I have very complicated feelings about the whole ordeal - on one hand as a queer person like you I'm tired of people's homophobia and bigotry being swept under the rug, but on the other hand I've seen first hand what an abusive relationship can do to a person so I can't help but feel some compassion for him too. I truly hope he can reflect on his mistakes and heal and grow as a person. Maybe I'm just too old for celebrity culture and drama but I do feel the need to be able to discuss issues like this one in a calm and level headed manner instead of falling victim to black and white thinking and turning things into a witch hunt. Sorry for the rant and feel free to ignore this message, your post just really resonated with me and I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the matter. I hope you have a lovely day/night ❤️

thank u sm for this message.... i really appreciate you taking the time to write about your experience and i'm glad you felt like you could share ❤️

there isn't a clear-cut answer to the whole debacle. whoever tries to sell you one is a scammer or is speaking out of an emotionally clouded place (as i was last week lol).

taking a look back at everything, i think it's important to acknowledge:

1. multiple things can be true at once: you can feel hurt by build's comments and still feel sympathy for his predicament.

2. you should be able to discuss these things without feeling like you'll get, idk. fandom black points. or get blocked by everyone who thinks differently than you (which happened to me), or even hounded and hacked by people to the point of getting your blog shut down (which happened to blramblings).

3. it's really fucking hard to be a fandom creator in these circumstances. i'm really sorry to hear your art has been impacted. especially in the case of vegaspete, i tend to believe there was an "aura" inextricably linking biblebuild as actors to who they were representing on screen. no one but biblebuild could've been vegaspete for me. it was their contrasting facial features, it was in their on-screen rapport and chemistry for me. their choices in portraying the characters, the behind-the-scene interviews... that aura mesmerized me for an entire year literally. and it's not only fine to admit that the situation complicates your fandom art, it should be an *active conversation* we have as fandom creators. because let me tell you, i don't write fic on top of my insane job out of the goodness of my heart. it's because of that spark of joy i feel, that stepping out of the regular day to day. the moment that joy isn't there anymore, it becomes labor. and let me tell you one thing i DON'T do. it's FREE LABOR corporations fuck me on the daily already so why would i let them do it as a hobby too

so yeah thanks so much for sharing your thoughts <3 i rly rly appreciate it and sending you lots of good vibes. who knows what the future holds in store for us etc. etc. but we out here!!!

[stranger-rants]

(3) I'm not saying that fans have to like Nancy, if she's someone they don't relate to its fine. I even agree that she is now the epitome of young white feminism, entitlement, her family republican support roots and middle class privilege. I do agree it was assholeish of her on how she treated Jonathan (while i still understand her anger towards Tom Holloway and the sexist, hostile and creepy old coworkers) she should have said sorry to him just like he apologized to her, the fact that she can't make girl friends her age besides Barb, how she treated Robin in S4 that was harsh at moments and unconsiderate i could go on..

(4) She can definitely be still up to be questioned and the talks on why the whole girlboss rep that the Duffers swear they bring but fails miserably every time. I need to add that Steve himself should also get the same exact treatment in this case. But none of his fan favorite cult sees that because he said sorry, changed for better and they all bought into his so called "character arc" which is not even a good one or not even there, they even bought the whole mediocrity of him being a "gay ally" (this even comes from me as a fanom bisexual Steve truther). It's so weird to me how he's always treated as such a catch with all this people being like "Nancy doesn't deserve Steve this and that" but maybe that there is also just me as well...

5, Last one i promise) but this whole anti and villain narrative treatment she gets from the fandom in which she does not deserve any single chance of nuances, a proper arc, her being seen or listened, chances to redeem herself and make up for her wrongdoings. The fact that they go far to literally laugh at her privacy and autonomy being technically ripped, exposed and violated, so far to the point she should be punished for her friend's death just because she had sex well, this people so give the vibe of the individuals you would never trust to openly talk about your SA/harassment/abuse situations to. Says a lot of little concerning vibes, that are just as low and bad as the anti Billy behaviour we've got to see from time to time. I do comprehend none of these characters are real but there's that; makes me cringe how this has just increased in Womens rights month and the fact these things are coming from mostly women, which is kinda sad.

I'll end my point saying that yeah, it speaks volumes.

I will say this about what female characters are owed in fandom and that’s the same level of complexity we grant to male characters. That’s what I think any character who represents a marginalized group is owed, and yes it can be frustrating when you’re not given that. It is concerning to see people buy into the Nice Guy trope and the rape culture surrounding young people, especially women and girls. It’s okay to be upset by that, even if the characters aren’t real, and to call it out as such. I personally think that Steve and Nancy are bad for each other because neither of their goals and ideals line up. That doesn’t mean Nancy is The Problem, of course. In fact, I’m tired of talking about her in relation to Steve and vice versa.

I do think this fandom’s treatment of female characters like Nancy can be hypocritical compared to their uncritical adoration of Steve who is really just some guy with a lot of money, but at the same time the way she is positioned as a gun toting “badass” young woman who gets empowering speeches from her Thatcher-loving predator of a mother is what makes her character off-putting to queer fans, many who are gay and/or trans and who’ve spoken up about how aggravating that is. It’s not just women who are critical of her character, and while you’ve already acknowledged these issues I do want to make a distinction between hate posts made by misogynists and criticisms given by people hurt by the glorified politics surrounding the Wheeler family. I know people argue that their children aren’t conservatives by association, and I get that but The Duffers don’t say or do anything meaningful to subvert or deny that.

As a character, the best thing for her would be to branch out and experience new things but she stagnates like Steve because The Duffers don’t let them grow beyond The Girlboss and The Babysitter roles they’ve designated them with. That can also lead to some of the hate she receives, but that’s a writing problem and not something that is inherently wrong with a teenage girl not having all the tools and the knowledge to make the right decisions 100% of the time… which… why should we be expecting that out of anyone anyway.

[ungirthed]

the kisses in atla are actualyl good and cute and wish we could have seen that in action for LoK. also never wish to pin down sexuality cos thanks to the europeans that's when they made stuff that already sucked worse.

maiko with

"i'm bored" "i know" "i'm hungry" "so?" "so get me some food" "sure"

first of all, theyre pissed at each other. and even when they're annoyed they have to touch each other and be in each other's business and be strange and misunderstood but together. she didn't even say "get me some food" that pissed and zuko was irritated but still. he'll do it.

people say they wouldn't work and i don't really get that at all...maybe that ppl don't see It for them (which is fine!) or maybe because fandom wars of things that aren't real (which is stupid).

you can't disentangle their livelihoods and nationhood from their conceptions of self and the way they live. and i think that they are the most likely people—who growing up under, accepting, and/or being a footsoldier of imperialism, colonialism, and fascism and whatever political-economic system they have based on the falseness of ordained rights—could change or at least be open to it. also theyre teenagers. nothing about them lends to intelligibility with regards to their future besides their ages. usually the swiftness of the characters liking each other would make me laugh but it feels nice to be with them and the way they relate to each other.

when zuko said "i don't see it that way" in boiling rock, mai didn't even respond. she was pissed because he left her a note without saying goodbye and she loves him but she wasn't mad at his thoughts. his beliefs. that she must have known he always had. that she may have felt but allowed herself not to—which is a failure in itself and something she will have to atone for forever. they all will.

from what i have seen there seems to be some idea that mai is just a bitch? i guess? but zuko's character shows just how real these people are and how conflicted he is. he's complex but i thought it would be harder to connect to him because i hate everything harmful in this world but you can tell there's so much in him that's just very sensitive, intense, and good. good IN the dark because the dark is light too.

to me i dont think he could be with mai if she couldn't accept that or if she mocked it. her yawning the first time we see them with each other reminded me sm of iroh. at first i was like bitch wtf (after i laughed lmaooo)??? but then i laughed more cos like she obviously did it on purpose. he's not doing well. he never is but he's really not doing well. i was looking forward to the both of them anyway but i didn't want it to be like she's some cunty unfeeling gf and i feared that my fears would be cemented. but it was the opposite!!!

"i don't see it that way" and i think mai is starting to not see it that way too. if she even ever was connected to herself for long enough to think on what that means. her non-response and the fact that they were still talking to each other was such an important signifier. she had nothing to say because that's how they are it seems. the truth is something they need and zuko is genuinely a terrible liar and cannot keep his insides...inside lol. and even though she seems to have a tight lid it's not dishonesty she has a problem with at all. it's the consequences and with him the consequences will never be injurious. it hurts like hell to have someone leave you, break up, have this mission they feel they need to do but harm?

i'm so tired but i love them lmao

which is why i guess i got kinda confused when i saw something about mai not being a person outside of zuko. i REALLY like her character. she could be my favorite if she had a bigger role but i definitely liked her the moment i heard her. that's such a different way to introduce a female character that looks so dark and stoic...she just complains. and her voice is so beautiful lmao but like. she sounded miserable in a funny way. and the comics are really uh interesting (lmao) but it made me like her even more. she's very cool, very funny, very real.

learning how upset and scared she was for/at azula to put an apple on her head to set on fire. knowing that zuko is a sensitive boy who looooves his mom and her love and didn't want mai to hurt because he's a human being seeing another human being in distress so he pushes her to safety. (his "girls are crazy" made me laugh sfm. WE ARE.)

what i really loved was when azula decides to fuck around with her baby brother. i literally said "OH SHIT" irl because that's just such a fucked fucking thing to do. and mai's pause had me thinking she would try something else because you could tell that she didn't appreciate that and was calculating some other way to get what azula needed to finish this bullshit. and in another ep when mai gives azula the Look after she gets up to tend to ty lee bc azula was upset that no one was making out with her...mai makes it sound easy like she's fine with it but it isn't, she's not, and she's tired of all of this bullshit. she wasn't tired or angry enough but she got there.

i looooove love love love love when she says "helping the jerk that dumped me" #1 bc shes making fun of herself and him #2 because it helps her realize what the fuck is going on. i laughed bc she's dragging herself, betraying her imperial lover4life "best friend", and ruining her life in the process. it isn't really over a boy. it's over one of the few things she gives a single shit about because she was given a reason to care.

her scenes are heavily with zuko but that's because, narratively, atla being majorly his story she is in his life. that's how this stuff works. the world does revolve around zuko because the show is also about this amazing character. so the people in his orbit are about him. azula is a person outside of zuko but he is central to her life so he is why her character exists. they dont strip mai of her personhood but to us as a viewer watching the main characters worlds esp the other half of the protagonists (i call him a protag sorryyy) we know mai through zuko. i don't think being a girlfriend to the show's second main character and being introduced via that lens means you are nobody without them. that's a big part of her story tho! but he is not the reason i like her. i like her because i relate to her.

being different is hard especially if you've lived through abuse. being called melancholy and weird, resrved, intense can get really frustrating. having people misunderstand your interests and outlook. and then just being fucking depressed. i saw that the voice actress said her character is depressed (and probably anxious) and it makes complete sense now. that void in you, that need for serotonin, lack of joy in anything, turning yourself off so you can just exist for once. and having oppressive forces always telling you what to do. how to think act talk feel. even how to love. and fucking hating being told what the fuck to do.

everyone's got it all fucking together but the girl who pretends at having it together gets scolded for it but also for ever even thinking of falling apart. she doesn't have to leave those strange gloomy parts of herself behind with zuko and shouldn't with anyone (i know ty lee accepts her so much tho!)

she's not boring in the slightest. she's fucking cool and carries stilettos. fashion icon! but like when things get brighter she can have more interests, a say in herself, a say in her life. she has a safe haven with zuko because he's also all those things that she is too (but very open and honest). being different and unhappy and wanting something more when the world youre in cannot give it to you. for mai she accepted it (mistake. a bad one) and for zuko he just couldn't do it.

when he tells her that he wasn't himself she listens. she knew what he meant. i'm assuming she's felt what it's like to simply not be able to do This anymore. to hold on.

and she does like other people. i mean when zuko asked about that boy when he was being a pussy and jealous during The Beach i was surprised she didn't say "i don't think about him at all" but her reasoning was i don't know him so how can i? that's a different response than simple dismissal over someone you don't know to placate your boyfriend. she's not gonna do that anyway lmao but idk it was so interesting she displayed no hatred. how can i feel for him when i don't know who he is? but not you're the only one for me zuko pls cry some more! thank god

(aside: i like kiyoshi a lot for being serious and stoic but also not. shes' probably not as funny or playful but i love a bisexual bad weird tall bitch. her empathy weighing with the necessity of what is to be done. an individual in a crowd. idk i just like girls like that. and i think kiyoshi is exemplary of the type of person mai could become. all the things that make you different and off to others because you hate pretense and feel a lot become a strength.)

i also love that she lets ty lee hug her. yea personal space but whatever with your close friends you put up with shit. that "clumps?" thing was my faaaaaavorite. first of all cos theyre cute together gotta find some art and fic but also she was playing along. when she asks ty about the circus...did anyone else ask ty lee that? and mai actually being annoyed when ty lee makes fun of her with the makeup.

she is a very full human being living in a place where being an empty miserable shell is normal and they live like the tiny town in footloose. i forgot what katara told the man who killed her moms about himself that was so spot on. just about how EMPTY and unreal their lives are. how they don't know anything at all. they're tiny tiny men. that's what theyre living in and all the people who got out one way or another seem to have that problem: being different.

every time she defies azula even if it isn't to her face. when mai's fed up she cracks a joke at her own expense. if someone gave her some mao she'd def sit and think on it ;) i don't think it's fair to say she had no knowledge of things that her "nation" did but she is a teenager and a sad abused one whose conception of herself is so tied to all the order their environment dictates. the only way out of it was to paper over and try to have people understand her through the necessity of being walled off.

i think as the show goes on the problem is that the characters all feel and know they have to change. what used to work no longer works. they, every single one of htem, are living as abused kids and are trying to make that abuse work. some can never ever make up for the wrongs and probably dont want to, some will always have to attempt but can make an amazing life with that. in the fire nation, mai will always be bored because she's miserable and that misery is part of the fire nation's existence.

we didn't spend a lot of time with her but they made a character people really liked and connected to. whose motives are weird, human, and will forever need to be atoned for. looking cool while kicking people's asses > and having a best friend fuck up her own life cos u inspired her and she loves u then u go 2 prison and then the world is kinda free so she joins a girl gang and gets a gf (i made that up)

in the end mai is with zuko (the series finale group scene is one of my fav scenes in the series and i wish we had more and less of that kiss where i had to watch 2 5 year olds kiss with dramatic ass music omfg) but if she didn't want to be there she wouldn't be. ty lee isn't there. and yes suki is there and we could say it's the couples but suki has been fighting with them (and she and zuko are friends! i mean that's mostly after in the comics but whatever). so they want to be there. mai wants to connect with people and see what they have to do! and a big part of that is being with zuko and caring about what he cares about but her own interest herself. what are her interests? i wish we had gotten more time to see her hobbies or who she was. that isnt because they made her about zuko but simply the structure of the show. now i could expect more but considering they made a character who is relegated to girlfriend and, in typical atla fashion, wrote something solid is good to me. that's why i can like them a lot.

i don't think mai has also ever really lied except if she needed to. i have to go back and check but it strikes me that she's actually honest. i think this bitch is so cool!!!

the beach = ember island

[otomefoxystar]

The Beginning - Part 2

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire

Pairing: Arthur X MC

CW: Morning sickness, pregnancy, labor, fears of pregnancy

—————————————————————————————————-—

From that day forward, you forced yourself to work, using the techniques the doctor had shown you to deal with your depression. It was nice to know that there was a way out when you felt so miserable. You were used to relying solely on antidepressants. Arthur took you to every appointment then to lunch. You had begun to have some normalcy back. You formed close bonds with the other residents. Every day you and Arthur would take walks to watch the sunset, making sure to keep the smile upon your face.

Suddenly you began to wake up in the middle of the night, frequently feeling ravenous. Napoleon being awake often, was always happy to prepare you a meal. This always led to feeling exhausted throughout the rest of the day. Sebastian having to wake you when you overslept. Arthur kept a close eye on you, noticing even the small changes. Thinking it was your depression, you could function, so he thought nothing of it. That was until serving breakfast when you looked pale and were struggling to hand food to everyone. It was then that he had asked the other residents to keep an eye on your behavior.

It had been a couple of days, and you still looked awful. After eating breakfast, you ran to the bathroom not twenty minutes later. It didn't get any better either, making it so you could hardly eat at all. Only being able to stomach grains, you stuck to a bowl of rice with broth. Sebastian started to worry, "Maybe you should see a doctor, just to make sure everything is okay. It'd make everyone feel better if you did." You continued cutting the vegetables in front of you. "Yeah, I'll go tomorrow." Sebastian shook his head, "You'll go today. Theo has some things to do in town. I'll have him meet with you." You rolled your eyes. "You worry too much; it's probably just a stomach bug." He raised his eyebrows. "Perhaps, but it also might not."

Relenting you went, meeting Theo at the doctor's office. The doctor went through a routine exam, listening to the list of symptoms you rattled off. "You seem perfectly healthy, and I would advise to give it three or four days and, if you're still not feeling better, to come back." Theo looked at you as the doctor spoke. Feeling, unsatisfied he spoke up,

"And what if she doesn't start to feel better then what?" The doctor looked over at Theo. "We'll cross that road when it comes. I don't want you jumping to conclusions."

Theo. walked you to the carriage. "Do you need me to go back with you?" You shook your head. "I'm okay. I'll see you tonight" Theo helped you get into the carriage. "Be safe _ _ _," Theo said before shutting the door. You clasped your hands together. Your brain going a million miles, you stared blankly out the window.

The next day you were folding laundry. When Sebastian came into the room, you smiled at him. "You don't look like you feel any better. What did the doctor say?" You looked up at him with tired eyes. "I just need to ride it out." You straightened your spine. "Don't worry. I'll be fine." Sebastian gave you a stern look. "Will you, or is there something you aren't telling me? You haven't had a proper meal in days, not to mention you can hardly keep any food down. In all honesty, I'm worried _ _ _. I know I can be hard on you at times, but I care about you. You can trust me if there is anything you need to talk about. "

You bit your bottom lip, "Thank you, Sebas. I appreciate it, really but I'm going to be fine." He nodded. "If you're sure." You smiled. "I am" He dropped the subject, and the two of you went on with your day.

Later that day, when you finally got a moment to yourself, you sat down on the couch. When the next thing you knew, you were opening your eyes. You were warm from being covered by a blanket. You looked towards the window seeing the sun setting. You got up and headed towards the kitchen to help with dinner when Arthur came over to you, kissing you on your temple. "Did you have a good nap? You must've been. pretty tired if you fell asleep on the couch like that." You leaned into him. "You were the one that covered me?" He studied you as he smoothed your hair. "Yep, except you still look exhausted. Luv, is Sebas working you too hard?" You shook your head. "No, no. Not at all. I've just been feeling weird lately. I went to the doctor yesterday, but I don't know something feels off." He looked at you with concern written all over his face. "You're still nauseous?" You nodded. Arthur sighed, "maybe you should go back to bed?" Sebastian approached the two of you. "Finally, someone who agrees with me. Maybe you can knock some sense into her." You looked at Sebastian, then back to Arthur, "Do I really seem that bad?" In unison, both men said, "Yes."

Your stomach started churning, and you knew if you didn't get to the bathroom quick, you'd be throwing up all over the floor. Arthur looked at you. "Are you okay? You're looking pale." A distressed expression washed over your face. "I need to -" You quickly rushed to the bathroom. With Arthur watching you with concern." Guess she's feeling sick again." You put your hand over your mouth, hoping you'd make it to the bathroom.

Arthur opened the door to the bathroom you were in, finding you hunched over the toilet. Your stomach wouldn't stop contracting, and you began dry heaving with small sobs in between. Arthur was on his knees next to you, rubbing your back. "Calm down, take some deep breaths." You tried, but every time you started to settle down. You would dry heave again with only a small amount of bile coming out. "Why are you so sick?"

Your stomach finally started to calm down, and you laid your head on the toilet seat, letting Arthur rub your back. You felt parched, your throat burning. "I n-need some water." He pulled your hair to your back. "I don't know if that's a good idea, luv." You turned and laid down on the tile floor while the worry in Arthur was rising. "I'm so thirsty." He smoothed a piece of hair gently behind your ear. "Alright, I'll be right back." As he left the bathroom, he shut the door. Everyone was still talking about you, but Arthur didn't have time to care about such trivial things.

Arthur went straight to the kitchen, pouring a glass of water. Once he was back in the bathroom, he set the water by the toilet, sitting down next to you. "Drink slowly. If you drink too fast, it'll come back up." Arthur helped you sit up, then handed you the cup of water. You held the cup with unsteady hands, taking a couple of small sips. You sat against the wall and closed your eyes. "I don't think I can help Sebastian with dinner." You sounded so weak and pathetic. "That much is obvious. I'm sure he'll understand" Arthur sat quietly with you when a deep line formed between your eyebrows. "Fuck" You lunged back to the toilet, expelling the water you had just drank from your body.

You let out a tearless cry and laid down on the floor, bringing your knees up, laying in the fetal position. Arthur stood up and pushed his hair back, looking down at you. You were groaning and whimpering. Arthur bent down, lifting you up in his arms. "Ar-thur?" you said weakly. "You should be in bed, not on the cold bathroom floor."

Arthur laid you down gently on the bed. He went into your bathroom, running you a warm bath. Going back to you, he started undressing you. "What are you-" He was focused on the task at hand. "You need to get cleaned up. It'll make you feel better." As he took your corset off and your breasts relaxed to their natural position, you winced in pain. It wasn't without notice. Arthur raised an eyebrow as he went to your skirts. "Do they hurt often?" You shook your head, "Usually around my cycle, I'm sure that's why." He put his arm around your shoulders. "Let me help you get in the bath. You sank down into the water, letting the warmth release the tension in your body.

"How's your stomach?" You leaned back, closing your eyes. "I still feel nauseous, but I'm okay right now." You opened your eyes slightly, turning your head. "I'll help you wash up." You tilted your head back, getting your long hair wet. Arthur was rolling up his sleeves, exposing his muscular forearms. "Will you open the shampoo? I'll wash your hair." You reached for the shampoo, trying to make small movements as to not make your nausea worse.

You sat up as Arthur got on his knees and in position to wash your hair when you took off the cap. The smell was overwhelming, and you turned your head, covering your mouth and nose with your hand, trying not to vomit. Arthur gave you a concerned look when you shoved the shampoo in his hand. "Take it!." Confusion took hold of Arthur as he took the shampoo from you. "Strange, you like this shampoo." You shook your head at Arthur, then closed your eyes and took deep breaths trying to get your stomach to settle. While he washed your hair, his brain was spiraling, making him feel anxious. Everything you had told him, it was all pointing to something that just wasn't possible. Perhaps you had food poisoning. You put a nightgown on and settled into bed after you got out of the bath. Arthur turned off the light and kissed your temple. "Come get me if you need me. I'll check on you after dinner." You pulled the blankets up to your chin, getting in a comfortable position.

Of course, everyone had finished their meals when Arthur could sit down to eat. Sebastian was cleaning up dinner as Arthur came into the kitchen. "I saved you a plate." Sebastian's voice made Arthur jump, being so far in his thoughts. "Huh? Oh, thank you." Arthur forced out a smile through his worry. As Sebastian warmed up Arthur's meal, Arthur sat down, letting out a loud sigh and putting his head in his hands with his fingers gripping his hair.

Arthur looked up as Sebastian set down the plate. "Thank you, Sebas." Sebastian was never one to pry or meddle in others' personal affairs, but Arthur seemed incredibly distraught. Arthur sat up straight, taking the silverware in his hands. "Is she still feeling sick?" Arthur stabbed the chicken with the fork. "She can't keep anything down. Even water, quite honestly if she can't drink in the morning, she's going to be dehydrated." Sebastian sat down next to Arthur. "This has gone on much too long, Arthur. She needs to go back to the doctor. She won't listen to me. I keep trying to tell her. She'll listen to you." He looked over at Sebastian, "I've already decided to take her in the morning." He took a bite. Arthur down his bottle of rogue after he was finished eating. Sebastian cleared the plate, "I wish you the best of luck, but remember that she's strong. She'll be okay." Arthur's lips curved up. "She is. She's the only one that doesn't see it that way."

Sebastian smiled, "You love her a lot, don't you?" Arthur nodded, "Oh yes, more than I ever thought possible." Arthur grinned and turned around. Stomach full, thirst quenched, Arthur was ready for whatever the night brought. Arthur opened the door to the darkness of your room, the light from the hallway illuminating your bed. Your empty bed. He shut the door and walked over to the bathroom, where he figured you'd be, but just as he started to open the door, it swung open, hitting him in the face. "Ah! Bloody hell, that hurt!" You yelped, hearing Arthur's scream. "Arthur! Are you okay?!" You shut the door, inspecting Arthur's face. "I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm a vampire remember? Though, it was super adorable how you got worried about me, like that." He kissed the tip of your nose, making you turn bright red.

You pushed him away, "Stop it! I don't like it when you tease me." Arthur chuckled as he pulled you closer. "I'm not teasing you; it was adorable." He rubbed your arms, "How are you feeling, luv?" You sighed,

"Awful. I don't know what's wrong with me Arthur, I've had stomach viruses before, but it's never lasted this long." Arthur continued rubbing your arms up and down with his fingertips. "I'm worried too, but I think what's important right now is that you get some sleep." His hand slipped into yours, your palms pressing together as he led you to the bed.

Pulling the covers down, he helped you get into bed. "Will you stay with me tonight?" He pulled the blanket up over your arms, making sure you were warm. "I was planning on it. I'm not letting you be alone tonight." He undressed down to his underwear, scooting next to you, pulling the blankets up. He rolled to his side and began stroking your hair soothingly. "I love you. I hope you know that." You looked at Arthur, tracing his collarbones. "I know you do. You make sure of that every day. I love you too, so so much." He kissed your brow. "Sleep, my love." He continued playing with your hair until your breathing was deep and even.

You were woken up by nausea rising up. You took deep breaths through your nose, exhaling through your mouth, trying to keep it at bay. Arthur opened his eyes blearily, hearing your abnormal breathing. "_ _ _?" Arthur leaned over to look at you, "Are you feeling sick ?" You nodded, confirming you were. Arthur started rubbing your back to comfort you. It took several minutes for your stomach to calm down when finally, you felt okay enough to turn over to look at Arthur.

Arthur took your hand, playing with your fingers, sighed, and gave you a conflicted look." What's wrong?" You asked as his brow furrowed. Arthur bit his lip, "I think I might know why you're sick." Arthur's stomach was doing flips with nervousness, not knowing how you were going to react. He brought up your hand and kissed your knuckles. "Tell me, you're making me worry." His eyes flitted up to yours. "Sorry"

He took a deep breath, looking deep into your eyes, making sure you were there with him. "I think you might be pregnant." Your stomach dropped, "I'm sorry, what?" He saw the surge of too many thoughts running through your eyes. "I'm not certain. I could be wrong. With your symptoms, though, I can't help but think that." You sat up, "How?! "Arthur gave you a mischievous grin" How? You were there, I could remind you. Though I don't think your stomach could handle our lovemaking right now." You rolled your eyes and pushed him. "That's not what I meant. I don't understand. You're technically dead, so how can you make life? "Arthur sat up, hoping you weren't on the verge of having an episode. "I am, yes. I didn't think it was a possibility either." You ran your fingers through your hair. "This is a lot, Arthur." He put his hand on your cheek, making you look at him. "Whatever it is, it'll be okay. I've told you before, you aren't alone, that I'll stay by your side. That is still true. It will always be true." You leaned your head on his shoulder, "I need to know, Arthur. I won't be able to think of anything else." He nodded. "Okay, let's take you to the doctor, but luv, you need to eat." You frowned, "Yeah, I'll eat, and twenty minutes later, it'll come back up."

Arthur sighed, "There's got to be something you can eat." Grunting, you crossed your arms. "Fine, rice and broth" He smiled and jetted out of bed to get you food.

Sure enough, Arthur was true to his word. You ate slowly, one bite at a time. When you had finally decided that your stomach wasn't going to deceive you. The two of you left, not giving anyone an indication of where you were going first thing in the morning. After Arthur sat down in the carriage next to you, he put your hand in his squeezing it tightly. Making sure to reassure you. When the carriage started moving, you had to close your eyes. Every bump and turn causing your nausea to rise up. You clutched onto the door as if that would ground you.

Finally, the carriage stopped, and you let out a breath of relief. Arthur helped you out and took one look at you before leading you to a bench, "Let's sit down for a moment" It wasn't really a question, more of a demand. As you sat next to him, looking at the town bustling with life. This is your life now, here in the nineteenth century, France. You chose this. You decided to stay. You knew the consequences of not having your medicine, you when you would break. Yet you still remained. Could your heart have been telling you that it already had belonged to Arthur? Was this fated? Or was this relationship destined to fail? Looking over at Arthur, seemingly doing the same-people watching. "Do you believe in fate?" He looked over to you slowly, "Hm, fate, eh? I haven't thought about that in a long time. I guess when you're human, you tend to think of such things. Do I believe in it? I believe that you were supposed to walk through that door on that day. I also believe we became close so you would open up to me, which allowed you to get help." He smiled," I guess I do in a matter of speaking. I think you change it, though. You could have just as quickly left and never given me a second thought and gone on with the life as you knew it." He took your hand. "I'm glad you didn't go back." He kissed your lips carefully, then looked at his watch. "The doctor is open. Are you ready, dove?" You raised your eyebrows, "As ready as I'll ever be."

With that, Arthur stood up and held his hand out for you to take. Placing your hand in his, you stood up. After walking in silence for a couple of minutes, both of you occupied with your own thoughts. "I'm nervous." He squeezed your hand and slowed down to match your slow pace. "Whatever happens, we will handle it. Together." He emphasized together by looking at you. "What if I'm pregnant?" His pace slowed until you both stopped walking. "We will figure it out together because that's what couples do, right? If you are, we made it together, so we should raise it together. Isn't that how it works?" Your face contorted with worry, "Do you even want a baby? What if I'm not pregnant? Will you be disappointed? Not to mention if I'm not, then what's wrong with me? What if I have the plague ?!" Arthur could see the anxiety written all over your face. He put his hands on your cheeks. "Look at me." There were so many emotions swirling inside. You felt like you were going to burst. "First," He said, brushing your bangs out of your face lovingly. "I need you to take some deep breaths." He said, looking into your eyes, helping you come back to reality. "You don't have the plague. Whatever is wrong, we will face it head on. As for you being pregnant, I would love the chance to have a child with you. If you aren't pregnant, sure, I'll be disappointed, but whether we have a child or not won't change my love for you. I will always love you. "He gave you a radiant toothy grin as he wiped your tears away with the pads of his fingers. "Shall we?" Held out his arm for you to take.

You interlocked your arm into his, your heart thrumming so hard you could hear your pulse in your ears. "I'm right here; there's nothing to worry about." You nodded even though you knew that this doctor's visit could possibly change your life forever. As Arthur held the door for you. You walked through the door with bated breath as you tried to push down the anxiety threatening to spill out. The doctor walked into the room, the same doctor you saw last time.

After the examination, you and Arthur waited patiently for the doctor to come back to speak with you. "_ _ _, I need to ask you a couple of personal questions." You took in a deep breath bracing yourself for the questions you knew he was about to ask. "Have you been sexually active within the last two months?" Arthur snickered. "C'mon, old chap, she's a grown woman, stop beating around the bush and come out with it."

The doctor adjusted his posture, "Alright, during your pelvic exam, there was Chadwick's Sign present." You looked at the doctor, not knowing what he was talking about. Arthur's eyes widened. "What am I missing? What's Chadwick's Sign?" The doctor looked at you with compassion. "Your cervix is blue. It's called Chadwick's Sign. It's an indication of pregnancy, congratulations." You knew this would be the outcome, so then why were you so shocked? Maybe because you didn't know what the future held? You and Arthur had only been together for a short time, and now you're having his baby?

As you and Arthur left, you were silent, processing what you had just learned. Even if it was killing him inside, Arthur was patient, letting you come to terms with the news. He was always so understanding when it came to you. He held out his hand for you to take, and once you put your hand in his, he brought it up and kissed the top of it sweetly. "You look tired. It's been a stressful morning. Let me take you home." As you walked through the town, back to where the carriage was waiting. Arthur helped you step up into the carriage, following behind you. Upon closing the door, the carriage started moving. Arthur put his arm around you, pulling you closer to his body. You leaned your head on his shoulder, taking his other hand in yours. "I don't want to tell the others, not yet."

Arthur leaned his head on yours. "I know you're scared, luv, but I am here, and we will go through this together. I know you bear the brunt of the weight, but I will support you in any way I am able." He lifted his head, adjusting his position, making you raise yours. Looking at you with a severe expression. "I won't tell anyone, but they are all very observant. It won't take long for them to figure it out." He kissed your forehead, knowing that you weren't doing this because you didn't want their baby but because you needed time to process to let it sink in.

Arthur led you straight to your room once you made it back to the mansion. "You should rest" you looked up at him, shaking your head. "No, I need-" He put his finger on your lips, making you stop. "What you need is to rest. I'm sure you're tired." You shook your head, feeling anger bubbling up. "Don't be angry with me. I can see it in your face. You're exhausted." You resisted. "I am, but I can't just sit in here. I need to do something, anything. I won't be able to stop thinking about all of this." He sighed, "Then sleep, please. For me?" You were getting frustrated with his insistence. "Arthur, I'll be fine. I've been fine all this time." He sighed, "No, you haven't, you can't fucking eat. Please! I need you to stay here. I need you to be okay!" He was more stern than he meant to be. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout." He lowered his eyes. "Arthur" He looked back up. "Why are you so upset?" His face contorted, "I got you pregnant. How did is this possible? I don't even know, and I-I'm a …." His emotions were all over the place. "A …Vampire. What if this baby is like me? What if it hurts you from the inside out?"

Arthur, around the room, you couldn't just stand there and watch. He was there for you when you needed him the most. He's always there for you, and all you do is take from him, never were you the one to give, and here he was in front of you struggling with his own inner turmoil. You walked up to him and reached out your hand, grabbing his arm. "Stop." His eyes were full of worry. You turned him to face you, "Take some deep breaths, and listen to me." You put your hands on his cheeks. "You told me that we are going to go through this together." You looked at him with regret, and your face wrinkled. "I'm so sorry. I've been selfish. This is happening to you too. This isn't just about me. I was so focused on what was happening to me that I didn't even consider how you were feeling." You brought his head down and kissed his forehead, then embraced him tightly.

He closed his eyes as you hugged, "I've never been so scared" you hugged him tighter. "I'm scared too" He stepped back, and you took his hand. "This baby was made with love. I know you're worried about me, about what this baby is." His eyes were tearing up, "I'm sorry _ _ _. If we didn't sleep together, then this wouldn't have happened." You shook your head, "No. Uhhuh, you don't get to do that. It takes two people to have sex, to make a baby. You didn't force me. I wanted to." You smiled and grabbed his hand, bringing it to your cheek, leaning your face against it. "You were a perfect gentleman. I'm not blaming you, and I'm not blaming myself. We made love, and I don't regret it. This is not your fault. Please don't blame yourself" A tear creeped out of his eye, running down his cheek. You wiped it away. "I'll rest, but you need to too. Stay here with me, and we can take a nap. I feel safe and protected when you hold me." A smile finally formed on his distressed face. "Okay, anything to make you feel safe."

You looked at Arthur as you both laid in bed, looking into his azure eyes. You leaned forward, kissing his lips softly. He ran his fingers through your soft hair as he kissed back. "I can't lose you" You brushed his hair out of his face. "You won't" He shook his head as he held a strand of your hair between his fingertips. "You don't know that. We made love once, one time. I managed to impregnate you the first time we slept together." Your eyebrows raised, " I wanted to wait after that first time because I wanted us to establish our relationship. I've had flings. I've drowned my sorrows with sex like a drug. I didn't want that with you." He dropped your hair to take your hand. "I know, me too." You locked eyes with him, "It's going to be okay, I don't know how, but I know that it will; because we have each other. We can do anything as long as we have each other." He smiled and leaned into you, giving you a kiss. He put his free hand on the back of your head and turned his face against your lips, moving his soft lips in sync with yours. He gave you one more small kiss, then stroked your hair.

"I'm still going to be worried sick about you, so for my sanity, will you please be careful?" You nodded your head, "I can do that." Arthur settled in, scooting closer to you. "Close your eyes." Doing as he said, he kissed both your eyelids, then closed his eyes, letting himself fall into slumber alongside you. When you opened your eyes, Arthur wasn't there. You knew you should eat, but the fear of it making you sick was strong. You got out of bed, wandering to the bathroom to make sure your hair was still decent. As you looked into the mirror, you saw your flat belly, wondering what it'll look like when it's swollen with the life growing inside of you. You snapped back to reality, brushing your hair.

—————————————————————————————————

True to your word, you were careful, making sure not to lift anything too heavy and taking several breaks throughout the day. Not that you could get by without taking them, through your exhaustion. Arthur also kept his end. He hadn't told anyone, at least anyone that you knew of. His mind seemed far away at times, but you didn't want to push him. You knew he was scared for you. You just needed to remind him that you loved him. Your nausea had never ceased. At this point, you didn't know if it would ever get better. You took it slow, day by day, and tried not to let on to the other residents what was actually going on.

You were finally in your second trimester, reaching your fifteenth week. You were serving dinner when Comte and Leonardo made a rare appearance. "That smell," Leonardo circled around the table, "Oh, I made dessert. Maybe that's what you're smelling." He inhaled as he walked closer to you. "No, it isn't food." He stepped closer until he was standing right in front of you. "It's emanating from you." Comte walked up to join the conversation, and Arthur was by your side in an instant. "You seem to be more possessive than normal, Arthur." Leonardo smiled as he looked you over. "Something has changed. I can't quite put my finger on it." Comte nodded in agreement, "Yes, you're right, Leo. There's a certain glow to her skin and the smell of honey." You shrank under their intimidating stares.

Leonardo laughed, "Oh my, we do have quite the predicament. I hear three heartbeats in this room. Seeing as two humans are standing here with us makes this quite confusing." Comte stood still and looked to Arthur, then back to you. "You are with child" The room went quiet, and all eyes were on the four of you. "_ _ _, I need you to be completely honest with me. Is this child Arthur's?" Arthur clasped your hand tightly. "Seeing as how he is literally the only person I've been with, yes, Arthur is the father." Theo stood up. "Someone explain what on earth is happening?!" You looked around, seeing everyone's eyes on you. "I guess everyone was going to find out eventually. Yes, I'm pregnant, and yes, it's Arthur's. I went to the doctor, and it was confirmed." Comte looked like he was deep in thought, "You are special indeed. Procreation between a human and vampire isn't supposed to be possible, or at least never has as far as I've heard." Leonardo cocked his head to the side, "You shouldn't be working. This isn't a typical pregnancy. We have no idea what we're dealing with here."

Sebastian came out of the kitchen with the food, seeing everyone sitting there in disbelief. "What happened?" Isaac cleared his throat, "_ _ _ is pregnant." Sebastian looked over at you and smiled, "I was waiting for you two to announce it. I've been waiting to congratulate you." Comte looked over at his butler in surprise, "You knew?" He nodded his head," I am human. I've been around pregnant women before. All the physical changes were evidence enough, especially about two weeks ago when I noticed the tiny baby bump. You can't tell when she is wearing her apron." You blushed, and Leonardo smiled, "Would it be okay if we saw?" You smiled awkwardly and untied your apron, taking it off. Comte smiled, "Ah, there it is. May I?" He reached for the baby bump that was now your stomach. "Yeah" He placed his hand upon your womb. "Congratulations to you both. _ _ _ I need you to be especially cautious. If anything out of the ordinary happens, I want you to tell me right away." He took his hand off your stomach. The rest of the night was more of a celebration than dinner.

As your pregnancy progressed and the baby inside of you grew, everyone ensured you were taken care of. Not as much as that of Arthur, who insisted he permanently move into your room and begged Leonardo to build a crib. Even though Arthur was sleeping next to you every night, neither of you got much sleep. Your sex drive was heightened, not that Arthur was complaining, but he worried about hurting you. in Being just barely ready for the expected arrival of the newest member of the mansion, you were in the parlor reading a book when the contractions started. Vincent saw you put your hand on your belly and wince, but you ignored it. When only twenty minutes had gone by, you grunted in pain. "Are you alright?" Vincent stood up and walked over to you, "Maybe you should go lie down. I'll help you to your room."

Vincent helped you up to a standing position, but as you started walking, a splash was heard, and you stopped feeling the fluid drip down your legs. Vincent eyed you as you stood planted to the spot. "Vincent," You had a panicked look on your face, "The baby is coming." Thinking quickly, he picked you up bridal style. He hurried to the room, barging into the room without a second thought. Arthur stood up as he watched Vincent lay you down in bed. "What happened?!" After setting you down, he turned to Arthur. "Get her some clean clothes. Her water broke." Arthur was stunned, and he looked over at you as another contraction washed over you and your face twisted in pain. "Vincent, I need you to get Comte." He nodded and hurried to his office.

Arthur helped you undress and get into a loose fitting nightgown. The midwife came in just as Arthur had gotten you settled in bed with pillows stacked behind you. The pain from the contractions caused you to yell out. Your hair was sticking to your forehead in sweat from the pain and exertion. Arthur was sitting next to you, holding your hand and trying to be as encouraging as he could. Then finally- "One more push!" You squeezed Arthur's hand tightly and pushed with all your might screaming as the baby was finally born, taking its first breath, and crying. Tears streamed down your face, with so many happy emotions filtering through you. You relaxed, letting yourself fall back on the pillows. "It's a little girl," The midwife announced excitedly, "Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?" She said, looking over at Arthur and handing him the scissors. Your vision started getting blurry.

You opened your eyes seeing Arthur sitting next to you in a wooden rocking chair as he held the baby girl in his arms, humming a sweet melody. You winced as you tried to sit up. "Carful luv, you'll probably be in quite a bit of pain. It's going to be a while before you can move around again. Everyone has offered their help if we need it." He looked at the sleeping infant in his arms. "Would you like to meet our daughter? She hasn't eaten yet." He put the baby gently down in the cradle so he could help you sit up. He unbuttoned your nightgown so your breasts were accessible.

He gathered the infant in his arms, passing her to you carefully. He smiled as you laid eyes on your daughter for the first time. "She's perfect" You brought her to your breast, and she immediately started swallowing. "Is she drinking?" You grinned at him, "Yeah. We made her Arthur." He tilted your face up and gave you a sweet kiss. "Thank you for everything you've given me _ _ _." He leaned in for another kiss. Comte came in just as Arthur pulled away. "Congratulations, it's exciting that she's finally here. I hope you've come up with a name." He looked at the baby attached to your breast. "You're nursing; that's great." He put his hand on Arthur's shoulder, "Seeing as how she is drinking her mother's milk, I don't think you need to worry about vampirism. The baby seems perfectly human to me, with a beating heart." You looked up from the baby to Comte, "Thank you, Comte" He bowed, "No, thank you for bringing us all love and joy. For giving Arthur the life he so deserves." Your eyes stung with tears, but you smiled. "I'll have Sebastian bring you some food." Comte closed the door as he left, and Arthur put his hand on the baby's soft head, kissing your forehead, feeling euphoric and truly happy. You knew you had a long road ahead, but you knew as long as you had Arthur by your side, anything was possible.

Part 1

[butwhatifidothis]

I've played FEH for several years, logging in almost every single day ever since the first fallen banner, but had to slowly cut down on this once F!E/del dropped. She was making the entire experience miserable and logging in turned from a fun way to build some favs and get some lucky seasonal drops along the way into a slog through a poisonous swamp.

I've had a couple of failed attempts at coming back to the game, where I'd half-heartedly build some counters, but just the thought that I had to waste so many resources on her dumb ass to even have a chance at existing in the PvP modes was just ... blargh. And I'm f2p, so every resource invested in anti-E/del means slightly less options for dealing with L!Sigurd and all the movement shenanigans on that end, etc, etc. She wasn't the only reason I eventually quit, but she was a big part of it. The beginning of the end.

Anyway, flash forward to yesterday. I've just bought a new phone. I think 'fuck it, good time to come back' - more F!E counters, Valentine's banner is pretty and I want that Lucina, Chrom and Seliph braves sound fun, I can actually run the game without burning through all my available memory. I'm in the mood to save orbs and play the damn game.

I wake up today and check the FEH sub. Oh, A Hero Rises interims, cool.

F!Edel first place.

Once again, my nemesis returns to suck the life and joy out of everything. There is no escape, no safe haven, just the same wheel turning endlessly into the abyss. I log on to FEH, she's there. Go on Tungle dot com, the same old arguments. YouTube comments talk about muh grey morality. Twitter always going on about the revolution and the crest system and the fandom homophones. On and on and on and on.

I need a new game. I want to be free. I want new things to argue about. I'm about to lose my mind.

Anyway, what's a Claude headcanon you're particularly fond of? Doesn't have to be your own, maybe just a bit of fanon you think goes well with his game characterisation.

I'm a fairly casual FEH player in that I tend to avoid the PvP parts of the game cuz, like, I also play BBS (Bleach Brave Souls) and know that PvP will always boil down to "if you don't hyper invest on the exact same units as everyone else you will have no chance at winning". It's just the nature of the mode; why use anything but the best? It's why you so rarely see any unique teams on Summoner Duels - it's almost always B!Eirika, Yuri, Duo!Corrin, maybe a dancer (and if so, likely Duo!Peony) and Nott/Dagr/Duo!Dagr, or the team will otherwise have one or some of them. Especially B!Eirika, since she was/is a free unit.

But even then, when F!Edelgard came out I could still understand the outrage about her. Hey, cool, what if IS just casually gave this colorless beast unit five skills on their weapon? And like three more on her prf? And all she needs to do to activate them is transform - you know, that incredibly easy thing to do? Yeah, no wonder the game's become "F!Edelgard Counter Simulator" ever since she came out, because wow! It almost sounds like a unit built like that on just its premise terribly balanced and fundamentally broke the game! Even ignoring the actual skills given to her (which is really fuckin' hard since one of them is GUARANTEED GALEFORCE), the concept itself is game-breaking.

And because of her inherent viability, as much as, like, everyone not an Edelstan absolutely hates her, F!Edelgard is a no brainer for the Hero Fest winner. It's just a lose-lose where everyone is miserable and F!Edelgard continue to make a splash in IS' wallet so they keep pushing her for more people to have her and hate her but still use her cuz she's busted to fuck.

I do get being tired of Edelgard though, after all this time and all the drama. I mean, knowing me I personally likely won't move on from 3H since I really do love it (and shitting on/mocking it lmao), and I haven't felt like this about a media I've gotten into since Bleach (which I similarly haven't really moved on from - yes, I was one of those bitches that cried at the trailer for the 2022 anime release lmao), but UH, just like with Bleach I can totally get why others would want to get away from it, if for no other reason than the fandom.

ANYWAY, a Claude headcanon I really like is that his two wyverns he has for his unique classes are wyverns he's had since he was young but he's only recently (during the war phase) been able to get them across the border safely, and that's why he makes sure to give those ones pets in his victory animation as a Wyvern Master/Barbarossa. Another (for funsies lol) is that over the course of his time in Fodlan he will write in Almyran in a journal (just anything that comes to mind) so that he never becomes unfamiliar with the language, before tearing out the page he wrote on and burning it once he's done writing so no one can chance upon it and use it against him