#maybe I'm just getting old or something
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Sometimes you just gotta draw a shark merman, amirite?
Darliev belongs to @gabedoodles
#Darliev Kavok#Mira Lane#art#merman#underwater#AU shit#it's always AU shit haha#it's what keeps me going at least#I've been working on this on and off which I never did in the past#and man I kinda like taking it more slow with my illustrations#maybe I'm just getting old or something#anywho#drawing Mira and Dar is always good for my soul
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Interesting how one sad worm almost turned the world upside down
#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#solas#lavellan#aideen lavellan#solavellan#i guess?#fen'harel#*sigh*#I don't want to think deeply about veilguard#I just take the few things I liked and treat the rest as uh weird fanfiction#I don't even want to break it down any longer because it makes me sad#maybe I'm also a sad worm like Solas#I went back to the old Dragon Age games to get a feel for something 😭#ik i'm being dramatic but uhh the game was very mid for me#too many plot holes and simplifications and...okay I'll shut up now#I'll just enjoy what I liked#my art
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my Stephanie Brown hot take is that she should get mad bitches now that she's single in comics. Yes yes shipping BUT the one time she had sex she was punished by the narrative via teen pregnancy. I think she should be allowed to have as much sex as she wants with zero consequences. Could be a lot of sex, could be a little. Point is she should get to do it without getting narratively baby trapped this time. she should get them pregnant, actually.
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#this is a joke post but it also. isn't#like. i understand that what I'm asking for is a very slippery slope especially in the hands of the average comic writers (hates women sm)#but consider that i think it would be neat if female characters in the batmythos had sex lives again...#babs was out here having cybersex with ted kord in the 90s! helena had sex! black canary had sex and was kinda a gotham chara back then!#cass is generally more interested in justice than in sex and i abide by that#(tho user @casscain-mainly has great meta diving into the portrayal of cass' sexuality! good read and was on the brain while typing this)#steph however? canonical sex haver and got done dirty for it#like. personally i prefer to imagine that steph having sex with dean was 100% her choice#idk man she just felt like it! she wanted to bone#and maybe there's other factors at play there- Dean is by all accounts deeply unpleasant as a person so no doubt-#-stephs chronic low self-esteem played into her choice of man here#but again i like to imagine that it was all sane and consensual (tho not safe which again. lots to ponder there-#-like ik dixon was NAWT thinking abt this at the time but Steph's mom is a nurse. a semi-absent nurse but a nurse nonetheless)#(i find it hard to believe that Steph didn't have a basic sex education. meaning it was either a freak accident she got pregnant-#-or a wildly ooc decision on her part. OR some kind of outside pressure put on her by someone/something)#(we'll never know bc dixon hates me personally)#BUT ANYWAY yeah Steph has some kind of canonical sex drive and is just. soundly punished for it#and then she's with Tim (Paragon of Male Virtue in Dixons eyes) so no sex whatsoever no no no ☝️#and she's never had a seriously considered love interest outside of Tim to ever consider having sex with#ALL THIS TO SAY. let Steph have sex again but without the narrative punishment in 2025#if this is what it takes to get her back in bat books so be it#also she should get to hook up with some age appropriate fellow heroes. as like fun one offs#who's in her age range? blue beetle (jaime)? circuit breaker? assuming we're trying to make this canonical and (sigh) can't pull women#I'm blanking on men who aren't vaguely too old/young for steph or gay. or just awkward (i.e like. kon el. that'd just feel weird yknow?)#ANYWAY yeah. Steph Brown stud era
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haunting the narrative -> haunted by the narrative -> haunting the narrative -> haunted by
#adventure time#fionna and cake#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#fan art#fanart#art#digital art#my art#just a lil something something i did for fun#adventure time has always been the show that makes me want to draw (i have SO many AT drawings from 2015 it's ridiculous)#but now I'm coming back to that ye olde passion with new digital art skills and many more evil tragic thoughts (thank you fionna and cake🙏)#i couldn't get the thought about them haunting and be haunted by the narrative out of my head so I had to make some art for it#the caption for this was almost: so who wears the haunted by the narrative in the relationship?#they take turns of course because damn these guys really do be having that tragic romance huh. hot potato cursed existence#never quite on the same wavelength. always out of reach. their love the very thing that dooms them to be apart. a love defined by absences#like two ships in the night passing each other by. except they keep trying to seek the other out. and so end up going in circles#the tragic dance of madness and sadness. lead on and i shall follow. ....so anyway...these two amiright?#/might/ have to write something at some point...maybe...#because like... ghosts are my thing. and these two...well. even when they aren't haunting the narrative they are still ghosts#never let themselves live in the present and okay I'm going to stop now. enjoy the art byeeeee#...AND they'll never be at peace because they'll always be reaching for a version of each other that no longer exists and—#(i am dragged kicking and screaming from the room before i can devolve into a full blown meta)
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When you find out years later that you accidentally named one of your henchmen
Image ID: A multi-panel comic featuring au sanses. Panel 1: In Killer's original universe. A dark figure stands in the foreground while Killer is sitting back in the snow, covered in blood. Killer says "wh-what are you?" Panel 2: The dark figure is Nightmare but only his smile is visible. He says "I am Nightmare, guardian of all negativity in the multiverse ...and I have a proposition for you, Sans." Panel 3: Nightmare's hand is outstreched, he says "Come with me willingly and I'll take you out of this desolate and barren universe and let you loose on many others." Panel 4: Killer is looking back at Nightmare warily, a thought bubble shows he is thinking "other universes...?". He says "...in exchange for what? What do you want with me?" Panel 5: Nightmare's tentacles are reaching out towards Killer. He says "I feed off the fear and misery and hatred in this world, stirring these up will keep me powerful enough to fight against the guardian of positivity. In short," Panel 6: Nightmare is looming over Killer now, his tentacles surrounding him. He says "I just need you to be a good little killer." The word killer is in red text. Panel 7: Killer is grasping Nightmare's hand, having accepted his offer. Panel 8: Now in a different au, Nightmare stands beside Killer as he taunts Dream, who is out of frame. He says "You're outnumbered now Dream, I have a killer with me this time." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 9: Dream is lying on the ground looking hurt and ruffed up. Killer is standing in the background, looking ready to continue beating Dream up. Nightmare says from out of frame "You should know better than to turn your back on a killer by now." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 10: Nightmare is standing by Killer again, looking smug. He says to Dream, who is not shown "You'll need more than that pathetic bow next time you meet with my killer here." The word killer is in red text again. Killer is looking towards Nightmare, pleased with this. Panel 11: We are now in Nightmare's castle, present day. It is revealed to be Killer telling these events to Dust, who looks bored. Killer says "-and the name stuck, so that's why I'm called Killer now." Dust says very quietly "did I ask" Panel 12: Nightmare is standing in the corner behind them, he looks very surprised and concerned after hearing all this. Text with an arrow pointing to him reads "Didn't realise he had done this." Killer from out of frame says "he doesn't really call me his killer anymore tho" with a frowny face. Dust, also out of frame, says "that's nice now shut up" End ID.
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Truce au#Killer Sans#Nightmare Sans#Remember when I said I wouldn't have that comic done? Sike I finished it earlier#Anyway you ever accidentally name a guy and don't realise until years later when he brings it up#Killer loves it because he feels special for getting his own name that's not just his au#(and also because he wants to be Nightmare's favourite and this is his evidence)#Nightmare hates this. He did NOT mean to name his henchman like a pet he feels awful#Maybe down the road Dream can convince him how much Killer loves it and he'll let it go#Killer absolutely hates being called sans he doesn't want to think about his old life#So the new job and name were kind of just what he needed at the start#Anyway I'm rambling. I just thought it was interesting Killer was one of the few to not be named for his au#And given the name it might be something Nightmare had a hand in#He also helped him find his signature look with the inverted clothes colours but we'll get to that another time this is already too long
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Apparently, in the novel Style is already very much in love with Fadel when Kant tells him the truth (I haven't read it, though, so I could be misinformed, and apologies if I am), and I 100% get why that is appealing to a lot of people, I do!
But, damn, I LOVE that Style is on the cusp of feelings, finds out the truth, and then continues to fall headfirst in love with Fadel, despite (because???) of it. That is so my thing. That he knows this terrible truth, that he feels both scared and safe by turns with him, and he wants to know him anyway. He wants Fadel to lay himself bare for him. He wants to be his 100%. He wants to fall in love with him
And that is so beautiful to me
(I know the script isn't based on the novel btw, but reading about it spurred this post)
#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#the heart killers novel spoilers#fadelstyle#if we get lovers on the run with them i'm going to explode into tiny droplets of happiness#(i'm wondering if that's what'll be happening with the old house/bath scene or if that's just... something else)#thk*#lazzarella watches tv#and states the obvious#most of the stuff i've seen ppl talk about from the novel that are different to the show aren't overly appealing to me tbh#but ofc reading what other ppl recount of something is VERY different than experiencing it yourself#and I can’t fairly compare the novel to the series although I guess I’m kind of doing that in my post (unfairly maybe 😂)
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#tumblrstake#queerstake#love getting the real deets from my septa- octa- and nonagenarian friend who were there#and what their parents and maybe even grandparents had to say about it.#i have been told unpublished Joseph Smith III stories. let alone old policy and church screwups and the mildly bizzare recollections#also so many stories about encountering/being visited by the 3 Nephites from generations#that kind of lore is the best#yes. pls tell me what you learned in sunday school in 1960.#thanks for the primary book from 1947#Fred M Smith got caught with a beer by Joseph Smith III (his dad) . he hid it in his tuba but tripped#the beer rolls out of the tuba and is picked up by no one other than father JSIII#he hands it back to fred and says something along the lines of “you dropped this”#like where else are you gonna get that#rlds faction “war” where???? kerala 🤯 year?? 1990s#that one was from an ex apostle and is declassified and i used some artistic liscence in description.#community of christ prevailed. but apostle who came to prepare new ministers that had to take over after schism legally can never go back#no one died afaik#i'm just impressed by the apostle who was risking his life for the church in kerala bc theres more to it than this#good history#idk the lgbtq+ history that well other than they did have a group for them at Conference in the 70s#and no open old lgbtq+ friends
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The darkness grew darker around Jean Valjean. He nonetheless continued to advance, groping in the obscurity.
If I was ever asked for a two-sentence summary of Jean Valjean's character, this would be it.
#“nevertheless he persisted”#Arras also illustrates this really well!#actually I'm recalling now saying this about night before Arras/night before sewers#so this HAS to be on purpose#but as the old scholar says: folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back#Because they were holding on to something#what is JVJ holding onto? fuck if I know#maybe hope in a better world#but tbh it seems to be mostly Cosette and determination to just get through this Goddamned thing#les mus#jvj#valjean#canon jean#shitposting through les mis
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I was cleaning up some broken links on my old silly Pokemon fansite, the Neglected Pokemon Lovers Unite (NPLU), and I realized that it has now been open for 25 years. TWENTY. FIVE. YEARS. That is an ASTONISHING amount of time for a site to stay open! Even if the last substantial update was like back in 2009 lol. The world around it has changed so much, but I think it's still valuable as a time capsule of a certain time on the internet. I wrote up a new essay about it on the site and did some general clean-up here and there.
Anyway to that end, since so much of the fic and art there is so old, I decided to compare Radic's oldest form to his newest! Radic was always a human boy but I just couldn't draw humans at the time so I made him a furry lol. Eventually I figured it out.
I also thought it'd be a neat challenge to mimic my own style back when it was really wonky and bad. And it was! It was kind of fun actually. I don't have too many shots of Radic from back then (it was hard to get art on the internet in the late 90's-early 00's), but I do have a few - hugging Kitsune, two old kiribans if you want to compare. I had a lot more old shots of Parasects though to reference unsurprisingly, they were very triangular lol. I think I did a pretty good job of matching what my art used to look like. I had a clear see-through Gameboy back in the day if you can't tell what Radic is holding lol.
("Isn't Radic the faceless avatar of your gamer self as depicted in Handplates-" yes, but Pokemon!Radic is the only one that actually became his own character, all the rest are shells)
If you do go poking around the NPLU, please keep in mind that almost everything there is very old and most of the fic and art is pretty bad (and shockingly violent). Plz do not judge me! My younger self was a cringey weeb but she was trying very hard. :<
[patreon]
#pokemon#z art#radic#callima#parasect#man i haven't drawn a parasect in ages i forgot how fun it is#my crabshroom babies#i always get tempted to just delete all the links to my old art but people always tell me not to#they like seeing it?? which always baffles me but i'm trying to accept that there's something worthwhile about them lol#radic is blind so he's not using the switch he's just holding it#maybe for red? idk#there was this odd stretch where i was using dot eyes#then switched to big anime eyes#then smaller anime eyes#then back to dots again#time is a circle...#i also used to use ^_^ CONSTANTLY#thus the ^_^ by old radic there#i've seen a lot of old web trends get revived but not hit awards/kiribans#for some reason#hit counters sure webring sure affiliates sure awards and adoptables sure#but celebratory things for reaching a hit marker? haven't seen a lot of those lately
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y'all have no clue how wild it is to live in my timeline, because 12 years ago i was a huge fan of these cute lil' zelda strips and at the time i found out through the grapevine that the creator apparently stopped making these comics because they had started drawing NSFW content-

and at the time i was like "oh ok that's wild but respect"
and now in the present the artist who's making the OMORI manga adaption is under fire for being a shota fetishist and it's putting the spotlight back on the OMORI creator themselves for ALSO being a shota fetishist and oh my god the omocat who made those zelda comics over a decade ago is the same omocat who went on to make OMORI holy shit-

#small fucking world jfc#and yeah maybe i'm the last person to cross the finish line here but listen#i hadn't thought about those zelda comics in AGES#not until i came across one of them in my FB memories#because i've been on FB so long now that some of my memories are like 15 years old#and as soon as i saw the artist credit i was like HOLD the fucking phone there's no WAY#anyways there's some wild shit happening in the omori fandom ig#i've only completed the whole game once and honestly i loved it but i haven't really participated in the greater fandom#and i can very much see what people are getting at lmao#especially with the manga jfc#why would you make a manga adaption of a game that's largely driven by a self-insert-style main character#never mind the fact that it completely removes the soundtrack which is like half of what made omori so memorable ffs#even without the shota shit a manga version of OMORI is still. just not something we needed lmao#bad dumb stupid idea
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#ts2#i'm just chilling#i got a new computer and i'm just testing sims 2#maybe something will come out of it or maybe not we will see#i'm remaking my hood againn because i had too many hopes for my previous computer#now the hood is smaller#no pink flashing as of now where i had a lot of it before i decorated what i have here now#i havent been around a lot when the tumblr channged recently#im getting lost#i posted this before on my side blong without noticing at 1st#the lots i used aren't mine#my decorating is still all around the place(it doesnt make sense) and kinda meh#but since its put together enough to snap some pretty pictures then i'm happy#i want to stick to one hood but my old computer always forced me to give up xD#where have i been? baldurs gate :>
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uhh another modern au agott follow-up. They've gotten progressively sillier
#witch hat tag#orufrey#hopefully you remember where she's at. the original one about her turmoils with art was so sincere....#but this is sincere too. being a 12 year old autistic lesbian is one of the most stupid things to experience. Like what is happening.#Yeah OK maybe i'm a wee lesbo. but i'm focusing on my CAREER rn so idc about that. SO i'm very upset that other ppl are not FOCUSING!!!!#A-AND FYI MY TEACHER HE CARRIES AROUND A GIRLY LIL PURSE!!! SO THERE!!!! Why are they walking away#agott helps me have to decide how to draw expressions i have never drawn before.#i actually realised looking at the concept art book stuff more carefully that coco is canonically 14? Ok....#it's a little too cruel if theyre dealing with periods on top of saving witch society from its foibles..but ok.. i do feel that riche is 12#also coco's hair is going to turn dark green when she's an adult or something. it's 'blonder' now due to being a kid🤔#abba is bc after a big long modern au orufrey comic where they got together i just strongly felt that they slowdanced to abba that day#feeling the mirth and hope of life and 'young and sweet only 17' why didnt we get together sooner but its ok like this & i love you dearly.#teen qif secretly listening to abba heartache songs after olly's caretaker drives him away..in that faded neopets hoodie.#it became 'their music' their silly little music.. right up there with the faerie bubbles theme.. (<- frustrating neopets minigame.)
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I went to a local yarn store for the first time, and while I was there, somebody was talking about getting a beginner's knitting kit, and she inquired about when lessons were, and when she was told that they'd be happy to sit down with her and teach her, she was so delighted. She talked about how excited she was and how much she wanted to learn to knit, and it just... it made me fall in love with humanity. It was this pure, unadulterated happiness coming from somebody and it was so genuine and kind, and I couldn't help but smile.
I guess all of this is to say... every moment, there are tiny little joys like this all over the world, and it makes this life worth living. I hope you witness and feel joy this simple, this pure.
#positivity#and she was older too! it made me really happy because it just reminds me that there is no such thing as 'too old'#you will never be too old to learn something - to feel that level of happiness and excitement#if i think about this too hard i'm going to start crying#and the yarn store has this really hip name and all the patrons there were older women and i thought that was cute and funny#i felt so odd being the only young person there though but i know that's just my own insecurity and not how they'd feel#i find older people absolutely LOVE when young people share their interests. i think old people get... used to feeling out of touch...#...and almost... neglected in a way by younger adults. it's hard to describe but i sense some loneliness in some old people y'know?#and when i share their interests... maybe it's like they feel young again - seen by somebody else?#that's my assumption anyway. but i like being around old people - they can absolutely be kind and gentle and i appreciate it
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Late(ish) at night gman ramblings time
Honestly I have yet to find a popular theory as to what Gman is that actually feels like. right to me. Like some of them are neat ideas, if put into something fan made, but if it turned out to be canon, most of the outcomes i've seen feel like they'd be super disappointing, in my opinion of course.
I've seen theories about Gman being a Shu'ulathoi that shapeshifted into a humanoid form, and while the idea is novel, I honestly feel as though it. limits him too much. It removes the mystery aspect of him because now we know what he is, and what his motivations are. Like, if Valve ever truly confirmed that Gman is some sort of alien species that we can easily pinpoint, or even one we've seen before, it would feel like it's putting gman in a box that doesn't fit him.
To me, Gman is best left unknowable. He is a species that only has one member (maybe), he doesn't have a set true (or at least comprehensible) form, but he's definitely not human. He doesn't have a name, he has no set species that aligns with anything we have seen so far. An eldritch entity that is outside what we have observed within the Half Life universe. As much as I would love to learn more about Gman, I also fear the mystery of him being removed and overall making him feel less like a cosmic threat.
Overall I don't personally think most of the theories explaining what he could possibly be are correct for him. He is nothing, yet everything at the same time. True ambiguity.
#ramblings :)#gman#g-man#personal opinion. Absolutely no hate if you like some of the fan theories#Just putting my two cents out there since. I'm not a huge fan of most of them personally#Hell I don't even think he has much of a past. not one that's super clear.#He's always been like this. Always looked like an old businessman. was never young#And before he got his human disguise I think he was just. somewhere in the outskirts of the universe. waiting.#Also I really don't want the employers to be explained or shown.#They should stay this. presence that looms but you never truly see it or understand it#That's the main thing! I don't WANT Gman to be understandable.#Give me eldritch old man!!! Give me cosmically horrifying entity in false human skin!!#give me something we've never encountered before!!!#I dunno. it's just where most of Gman's horror comes from. How vague he is#And how you can never truly understand who or what he is and what he's planning and why.#Something clearly feeling claustrophobic in the human form but pushes through it regardless just to fool you.#But is he even really trying to fool you? I imagine he knows just how unbelievable as a human he is the second he starts talking and moving#Maybe he just wants you to feel deeply uncomfortable around him. Better to pressure you into a deal#Like thinking about how he circled around Alyx in HLA like some sort of predator animal.#Rambling but you get what I mean i hope
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SO. in the process of my ted lasso rewatch, i noticed something that absolutely floored me, and that feels really fucking significant re: nate's arc. the second episode features a scene where nate, in an effort to be Cool and Angry About Losing in the same way as the players, does this:

seriously damaging the door.
now, there are a lot of parts of this moment that are super important to look at. the door is damaged because nate is trying to be someone he isn't in an attempt to fit in. the crack patterns ON the door have a nexus point that shows up directly where ted's back is -- visually speaking, nate is backstabbing ted. the scene itself ends with this nonverbal interchange between ted and nate:

ted is confused, nate is placating and apologetic, both of them are separated by a sheet of damaged glass (and ted is in the manager's office, which is the very position that nate wants to inhabit so badly!)
but the reason that i so badly wanted to bring this to the attention of tumblr at large is the single-second, blink-and-you'll-miss-it follow-up shot during sam's birthday party.

we see nate. we see the door, taped up. we see the tape, in nate's hands.
nate has fixed the damage that he did. gone and done it himself. the show makes it clear that HE did this by emphasizing him tossing the tape between his hands in time to the music. he caused damage but he learned how to put things back together and we see BOTH OF THOSE ASPECTS in this scene!
anyway. i think that one is worth thinking about. :)
#celia watches ted lasso#ted lasso#nathan shelley#i have been freaking out about this one on call with lindir for multiple hours.#i am calling it now. nate is going to learn how to do and be better.#and it isn't going to be perfect!#the door is very clearly FUCKED UP#but he is going to try and things are going to get better!!!!!#i just! ghJDSNJGDSHHG i need ppl to SEE THIS i am 10000 percent convinced i'm onto something here!#maybe this is old news but I DO NOT THINK IT IS
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I have the controversial opinion that maybe, just maybe we stop wanting to go after people with pitchforks for getting characters wrong and not reading the comics inviting them to easy and accessible ways of and making our own content with comic accurate representation
people might feel less anxious about starting comics and misinformation won't spread as easily
#but that just me#I'm a batman fan for maybe all my life but just started seriously getting to the comics of half of the batfamily as an adult#let people take their time#some of them just got here#“THEYRE WRONG” you can block them#“THEY'RE GOING TO INFFECT THE CANNON JUST LIME THEY DID WITH TIM AND COFFEE” make accurate jokes then push people who make accurate jokes#interact with accurate jokes#make informative posts#if every time we feel the hit to beat up a comic inaccuracy post we make a funny little comic accuracy post maybe there won't be as much#disinformation peace and love on the planet earth.#never going to forget how much I shit on bad spideypool fanfics until I get to read some of my favorite writers old fanfics and they were#absolutely nothing like the characters#some people take time some people don't know where to start#some people don't have time to read the comics#some people don't have your favorite character whole backstory engraved#“THEY CAN RESEARCH” of course and fannon would be better if they did but have you consider....you have the power to make it better#i just think sometimes we can take the spite and make something beautiful#q rambles#i wrote the shit and forgot to finish LMAO
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