#maybe I'll try get better at cooking in 2024

[cheeseknives]

I hope 2024 will treat me good and make our current goverment fall 🤞❤

[captainsophiestark]

Vigilante Book Club Part 2

Jason Todd x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist! - Part 1

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: DC

Summary: After having an all-around terrible day, the only person who might be able to make it better is a certain book-loving vigilante.

Word Count: 1,562

Category: Fluff

A/N: This is the closest I've come all year to missing a Friday lol, but we got it done! Woohoo!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

****************

I hummed to myself as I moved around the kitchen, dancing to the music I had on in the background while making sure everything cooked just right. I had a reputation to fix, after all, and I was determined to get it right.

After the Red Hood had broken into my apartment to return my favorite book last week, I'd convinced him to come back for a thank-you dinner and to talk about the book, which he'd been planning to read in the meantime. He'd also vaguely insulted my cooking, although I'd mostly forgiven him for that in light of him returning my book.

Tonight was the date we'd set for dinner and book-talk, and I'd spent the week preparing the perfect recipe. Even better, the kitchen currently smelled amazing, which had to be a good sign of success.

Right on cue, about the same time he'd shown up last week, I heard a knock on my door. I smiled, trying to ignore the way my heart sped up a little as I quickly wiped my hands on the kitchen towel and headed for the door.

I paused just long enough to look through the peep hole and, as expected, the Red Hood stood towering in my doorway. This time, instead of the whole-head helmet, he only had a red domino mask on. Thank goodness, since the dinner part of this whole evening would be ruined if he couldn't actually eat without revealing his secret identity. I swung open the door with a grin.

"Hi! I'm glad you came! Honestly, I was half expecting you to be at the window again."

He just grunted and shrugged.

"I wasn't sure you'd actually be home, or still up for this. Figured I'd come to the door and give you a chance to pretend not to be home."

"Don't be ridiculous," I said, waving off his concerns as I opened the door wide. "I've been looking forward to this all week. Unless, of course, you're here to hate on my favorite book. If that's the case, I think I'm going to have to throw you out."

He laughed. "Don't worry, I'd never do that. I know what a true favorite book means to a reader."

I gave him a little smile and a nod as I closed the front door, then headed past him into the kitchen. I gestured to the bar stools at my counter as I checked that everything still looked good.

"Have a seat. Can I get you anything to drink?"

"A water would be great."

"Sure thing! Coming right up." I filled up a glass for Red Hood and myself, then fixed him with a smile as I set his glass down in front of him. "So... notice anything different from the last time you were here? Anything in the kitchen, maybe?"

He hummed, pausing and pretending to think. I put my hands on my hips and raised an eyebrow, and after a moment, he broke and grinned.

"I'll admit, the kitchen's looking much more promising than the last time you said you were making dinner in here."

"Thank you," I said, smiling as I turned around to start plating everything. "I told you, last time you were here was just a record-breaking bad day. A cooking fluke."

I could hear him hum behind me, at least pretending not to sound totally convinced.

"Next time, I'll make something. Everything you've got going right now looks amazing, but I'm a pretty good cook myself. I wouldn't want you thinking I'm acting like a critic out of nowhere."

I hesitated a second before turning around, trying to get my ridiculous smile and racing heart under control. I technically didn't know him very well yet, but so far, I'd started to really like Red Hood. I loved the idea of making this a regular thing, and I loved even more that he'd suggested it. I took a deep breath, then finally turned around, my smile still massive but at least a little more reasonable.

"Deal. Next time, you cook."

****************

I laughed, closing my book and shaking my head as I looked up at Hoodie. He looked back over the top of his own book, one eyebrow raised.

"What?" he asked, leaning slightly towards me. I shook my head, smiling all the same.

"Nothing. I just know why you wanted me to read this book so badly now."

"Oh yeah? And why's that?"

I cleared my throat dramatically and lifted Hoodie's copy of Northanger Abbey, which he'd temporarily loaned me, before starting to read:

"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid."

Hoodie grinned. "I'll admit, I may have levelled that quote at a family member or two. Although, I might widen the original to include stories in general."

I snorted. "And if one of those family members said they loved podcasts or movies or something, but not books?"

"No, they're the exception. They're idiots whether or not they enjoy a good story."

I laughed, and after a moment, Hoodie joined me. Since that first reading date, we'd made our unofficial vigilante book club into a weekly occurance. He always came over to my place, and we spent the evening talking about books, or reading together and then talking about books. We alternated who cooked, and this time, it was his responsibility. He had food cooking in the crock-pot, and the delicious smells had been temping me for the better part of the past few hours.

"So I take it you're enjoying the book?" he asked, laying his down in his lap. I nodded, mirroring his gesture and sitting up a little straighter.

"I am. I can't believe it took me so long to get around to reading it! I've loved all the other Austen I've read."

"Which is why we get along," he said with a grin. I nodded.

"I could never spend time like this with a man who didn't at least appreciate Pride and Prejudice."

"Of course not."

"But what about you? Are you liking your book of the week?"

He nodded, scooting a little closer to me on the couch.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, you have good taste in books. I don't think you've picked one yet that I haven't liked."

"...Now I sort of want to take that as a challenge."

Hoodie just rolled his eyes.

"Be careful. I've read some shit I wouldn't wish on anyone, but I can and will use it as payback if I have to."

I laughed. "I don't know, I've read some pretty unbeatably bad ones..."

"Oh yeah? Well how about-"

He stopped short at the sound of a ringtone. I raised an eyebrow as he grimaced. Not once, in all the weeks we'd been doing this, had either of us let a phone interrupt the night.

"Sorry. Vigilante phone," he grunted. "Just a second."

I waved him off to let him know it was no problem, and he shot me a quick smile before answering. To my surprise, he held it out in front of him and put it on speaker.

"What do you want?" he barked without a hello. "I'm busy."

"Yeah, so busy that nobody's been able to get a hold of you all night!" came an exasperated voice that sounded much too young for that level of exhaustion. "We started prepping for Alfred's birthday-"

BOOM! A loud noise that sounded too close to an explosion for comfort cut off the rest of the sentence. My jaw dropped open at the same time that the kid on the other end of the phone shouted out at the top of his lungs.

"JASON! What happened? Are you- oh shit, I think that was on my end." A brief pause, some scuffling, and the sound of an alarm in the background as Hoodie—as Jason—and I sat frozen in place on the couch. "Just get back here as soon as you can to help!"

The kid on the other end hung up, leaving Jason and I in the ringing silence of my apartment. After a moment, the man on the couch next to me sighed heavily, and I decided to beat him to the punch on further breaking the silence.

"I am... so sorry," I said. "I know you probably didn't want that, like, getting out, and-"

"Stop," he said gently, reaching out to take my hands in his. I did, opting instead to chew on the inside of my lip as I looked at him with wide eyes. "Look, it's not exactly how I wanted this to go, and I wasn't expecting Timbo to use the vigilante phone to say my civilian name, but... I've been thinking about telling you for a while. I'm not upset that you know, and I've know you long enough now that I trust you to keep my secret."

My mouth dropped open a little as a thousand butterflies exploded in my chest. This was a major leap of faith and trust in the relationship we'd been building in our little book club. I squeezed Jason's hands, smiling as I leaned into him a little. He grinned back at me, then sighed.

"Now, if you hated Austen, maybe I'd have to be a little more worried about all this..."

I gasped. "I could never."

"Exactly. You're not somebody I'm worried about here."

We shared another, softer smile, and then I reluctantly dropped Jason's hands.

"Speaking of people you should be worried about... whoever made that call sounded like they could use your help."

Jason's eyes rolled back so far I couldn't see the pupils anymore.

"They're idiots who should never be allowed anywhere near a kitchen, but they'll survive without me for a little longer. At least long enough to do this."

For a split second, I expected him to lean in for a kiss, and my heart did a backflip in my chest. Instead, he reached up for the domino mask still sitting comfortably on his face, which somehow seemed more intimate.

Slowly, he pulled away the fabric, revealing the bright blue eyes it had been hiding. When he smiled, this time I could see the corners of his eyes turning up along with his mouth, and even from a few feet away I could see his gorgeous eyelashes. It took some actual effort not to swoon, even though his face didn't change significantly from when he'd been wearing the mask.

"Like what you see?" he asked, tone soft but joking. I huffed a laugh and let a smile make its way back onto my face.

"Yeah. I do."

"Good. Then... what do you think about going out? On a real date, with me, not Red Hood? No pressure if you're not interested, but-"

"I would love that," I said, my smile morphing to take up my entire face. "Jason."

He beamed back at me the second his name left my lips, the two of us gravitating towards each other until his vigilante phone started blaring again and Jason rolled his eyes.

"I better go. But I'll see you... this Friday? Pick you up at six?"

I nodded. "It's a date."

Jason grinned, his eyes darting back to me every few seconds as he collected his things. We agreed to just keep each other's books until Friday since we wouldn't get to finish reading them together tonight, making Jason the first person I'd ever trusted with my only copy of a book. Our goodbye took longer than it should've since he had explosions to deal with and we were seeing each other again in a few days, but neither of us could bear to part any faster. And when the front door finally shut, it was hours before I actually wiped the smile off my face.

Who could've guessed something positive would come out of one of my most obnoxious bad days to date, let alone someone as wonderful as Jason?

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

DC Taglist: @gaychaosgremlin @v1ckycheesue

[pedripics]

Pedri via Residency - August 8, 2024

Pedri had a double training session today 

How is your knee doing? - “Much better. Looking forward to getting started with the team soon”

How are you after starting your workouts? - “Tired, as it is normal in preseason, but happy with the recovery”

Does it feel weird without having your hair? - “A little 😜 but it's not the first time and I had to keep the promise. My mustache didn't last that long 😝”

What are your expectations for the season? - “The maximum. At Barça there can be no others, and on an individual level I hope everything is going very well”

How is your mum? - “Veryyyy well. Thank you ❤️”

How many sessions did you do to recover? - “I've been training practically every day on vacation”

Who is your best friend in the locker room? - “I say it a lot of times, I get along well with everyone but if I have to say one, well Ferran”

Nice vacation? - “Quiet, in Tenerife”

How was training with Gavi after long time? - “Very good! I am happy to see him do better”

“Barcelona is a great city without a doubt”

How many football games did you play growing up until you were 16? - “Well, I couldn't say... one a day, or more, if they count the games on the court and with friends hehe”

Did you watch the Olympics? - “Yup… a lot”

He really wanted to see USA-Serbia in a bit 

How do you deal with hate from others? - “I try to stay away from bad comments, as well as from high praise. The best thing is to be calm and listen to the advice and comments of the people close to you”

Would you like to retire at Barça? - “Do you want me to retire already? you already know that I have been a culer since I was a little kid”

When are you returning? - “There is little left. Let's see how the next training sessions are going”

Do you recommend me to visit your familys restaurant? - “l always do... and I always will. Delicious and homemade food”

I hope to see you next year at the new Camp Nou - “Have no doubt, my friend!!”

How did your friends/family react to your haircut? - “A little bit of everything. Jokes but also people who told me it looked really good on me 🙃”

Pedri are you going to let your hair grow? (Say yes please) - “Yesss. It's not the time to go bald yet”

Do your think a lot about the climate change? - “Well, it worries me. Like all young people. It is important to think about the future of the planet and that’s why i am ambassador with Kick Out Plastic”

A lot of people give their opinion about your beard, either to let it grow, or to cut it, but what do you prefer? With or without? - “I liked seeing myself with a beard, but without it l'm very comfortable. Maybe in the future I'll let it grow again”

Best part of football? - “Enjoy doing what I like doing the most”

Do you want Quevedo to return to music? - “Quevedo is a phenomenon... and above all canarian 🇮🇨” (admin agrees)

One of his friends named his dog Pedri 😂

Do you recommend visiting the Canary Islands? - “I am obliged to do so! My land is incredible”

How many kids do you want in the future? - “Well, more than one... but it's too early for that”

Pedri do you want in the future come to Poland? - “Why not? Let's see when Lewy invites me 😁”

Are you excited for your birthday??? - “Well... there's still a lot of time left”

Do you have pets? - “No. Maybe in a few years, a dog”

How is learning English going for you??? and what other languages would you like to learn? - “Let's see if I improve my level in September”

Do you go on TikTok a lot? - “Quite a lot, yes. I laugh a lot at some videos and I also find out a lot of things out  on there”

How do you feel about the new Barça kit? - “I love it”

Prove that you’re not AI - “In the previous chat they already told me something similar. Pedri 1-0 AI”

Who can cook best in your family? - “My mother… without a doubt”

Can you cook? - “It’s better if i don’t… It’s a good thing that my mother and brother are cooks”

People confuse him and his brother sometimes

Thiago? - “We barely met, because he was on tour and I was in Barcelona… I am looking forward to meeting him”

Do you like Olmo’s hair? - “😂😂😂 That question would be for my hairdresser. I like that he came to Barça, because we get along very well and I am sure he brings a lot of things to the team. We’ve already seen it at the Euros” (personally I think Pedri should announce all new signings)

Will Barça win a sixtuple again? - “Hopefully soon… Although it’s very difficult…”

Did you celebrate Gavi’s bday with him? - “Well I congratulated him and not much more because he had a day off in his recovery”

What did your day look like? - “training in the morning, eat, rest and train in the afternoon”

What do you think of Fermin at the Olympics? - “I am following the Olympic Games because I like to watch almost all sports… Fermin is being the key and I hope he will come back with gold”

How do you go shopping? Is it difficult because of all the people? - “It is very complicated, yes. Sometimes with my parents and brother, or with my teammates… but I also shop online”

If you could choose a football legend to play with, who would you choose? - “Iniesta obviously, because he is my idol. But for a little change, for example Pele”

How did you feel to reach the Olympics final? - “It was a great joy… Although I am envious of these Games because there couldn’t be fans there in Tokyo because of the pandemic”

Hidden talents? - “Not that I know…”

Are you playing on Monday? - “No, not yet”

If you weren't a footballer, what would you probably be? - “Firefighter... or waiter in my parents' tavern. Although one day I helped them and I realized that it wasn't my thing”

He hasn’t trained under Flick yet (duh)

Movie/ series recommendation? - “I'm finishing Game of Thrones. This is nothing new, but the truth is that it is very good!”

What do you like to do in your spare time? - “Being at home, mainly” (same)

How was your childhood? “Very happy! In Tegueste, with my family and friends, like any other normal boy”

Do you ever go biking? - “No. We are not allowed to either”

What do you think of Duplantis, have you watched it? - “What he did was crazy”

Your mum is the best she is such a cutie  - “Siii”

Tomorrow will you watch the men's olympic final ??? - “Yes, of course... and if I can, the women's match for Spain too”

Would you like to be the captain in the future? - “Of course I would like to”

What do you think about Asia? - “I know that they support me a lot from there and I would like to visit  in the future... now it's not easy, because the seasons don't give a break and on vacation I prefer to rest close to home”

It's not too complicated to be famous I mean do people always have to stop you for photos? - “It's not easy, but it's not something that bothers me. I try to give photograph and sign autographs, because I remember when I was little and I asked for it”

Is your favorite food bananas? - “My favorite fruit. I love food a lot, although some of them I can't eat now because of my diet. For example, I really like sushi”

Does your brother annoy you sometimes?? - We get angry, like all brothers... But he's a very important person in my life”

Favourite sport other than football? - “Basketball or padel, for example”

Do you look forward to the next World Cup? - “Of course... Although there is still a lot of time left. Now we have to fight to win the maximum with Barça”

[blubberquark]

New Year's Resolutions

Hey everybody. It's a new year. Happy New Year!

Gamedev Blogging

Last year I have fallen behind on posting gamedev stuff. It's mostly because there is no good way to format code listings in the new editor. So this year, I am not even going to try eith gamedev tutorials on tumblr. I might post them elsewhere and just link them. I have already taken a look at Cohost, but It doesn't have the features I need. Wouldn't it be cook if you could post pico-8 carts on cohost? Or source code listings? Or LaTeX? I might as well write the HTML by hand and host it somewhere. But that won't be the focus of this blog in 2024.

Instead I'm going to do more tumblr posting about game design, just less on the code side. It will be more on the screenshot side. First thing will be about my 2023 Game Of The Year. It will probably surprise you. I did not expect it to be this good. You can also expect something about some of my old prototypes. Over the years I have started and abandoned game prototypes after either concluding that the idea won't work and can't be made to work, or after learning what I needed to learn. What did I learn? Wait and find out!

Computer Litaracy

I'll also attempt to write more about general computing and "computer literacy" topics. I have two particular "series" or "categories" in mind already. Almost Good: Technologies that sound great when you hear abut them, but that don't work as well as you might think when you try them out. Harmful Assumptions About Computing: Non-technical people often have surprising ideas about how computers work. As a technically inclined person, you don't even realise how far these unspoken assumptions about computers can reach.

Usability of computers and software seems to have gotten worse rather than better in many aspects, while computers have become entrenched in every workplace, our private lives, and in our interactions with corporations and government services. Computer literacy has also become worse in certain ways, and I think I know some reasons why.

There will also be some posts about forum moderation and community management. It's rather basic and common-sense stuff, but I want to spell it out.

Actual Game Development

I am going to release a puzzle game in 2024. You will be able to buy it for money. You can hold me to it. This is my biggest New Year's Resolution.

I will continue to work on two games of mine. One will be the game I just mentioned. The other is Wyst. I put the project on ice because I was running out of inspiration for a while, but I think I am sufficiently inspired now. I will pick it up again and add two more worlds to the game, and get it into a "complete" state. I'll also have to do a whole lot of playtesting. This may be the last time I touch Unity3d.

I will try out two new engines and write one or two proof-of-concept games in each of them, maybe something really simple like "Flappy Bird", and one game jam "warm-up" thing, with the scope of a Ludum Dare compo game. Maybe that means I'll write Tetris or Pong multiple times. I probably won't put the "Pong in Godot" on itch.io page next to a "Pong in Raylib" and "Pong in Bevy", but I'll just put the code on my GitHub. The goal is to have more options for a game jam, so I can decide to use Godot if it is a better fit for the jam topic.

In the past, I have always reached for PyGame by default, because Python is the language that has flask and Django and sqlalchemy and numpy and pyTorch, and because I mostly want to make games in 2D. I want to get out of my comfort zone. In addition to the general-purpose game engines, I will try to develop something in bitsy, AGS, twine, pico-8 or Ren'Py. I want to force myself to try a different genre this way. Maybe I'll make an archaeologist dating simulator.

All in all, this means I will so significant work on two existing projects, revisit some old failed prototypes to do a postmortem, I'll write at least six new prototypes, and two new jam games, plus some genre/narrative experiments. That's a lot already. So here's an anti-resolution: I won't even try to develop any of my new prototypes into full releases. I will only work on existing projects from 2023 or before if I develop anything into playable demo versions or full games. I won't get sidetracked by the next Ludum Dare game, I promise. After the jam is over, I'll put down the project, at least until 2025.

[inkofamethyst]

June 21, 2024

Okay so I started working through some problems on a website I discovered called Rosalind. It's several bioinformatics coding challenges. Harder ones unlock as you complete easier ones. It's pretty fun! Each problem has taken progressively longer to complete, sure, but I'm really loving getting back into the problem-solving mode. The one thing is that they don't give you aaaaaany coding help or hints or suggestions, so that will probably make things really difficult down the line (the best way to learn!!! (I need to maintain optimism)). Currently (almost) everything has been within my skillset, so mostly string manipulation and simple operations, and even though all of my work was probably worth a combined five hours on the eight problems (only finishing seven because I couldn't figure out probability), they ultimately weren't too bad. This will probably be what I spend my time on in the office to keep my coding skill up when I have nothing else to do.

While I should probably be learning R... I simply don't want to right now. Maybe in July after I get back from home idk.

I've also started watching music theory lectures (as opposed to just the interactive online textbook thing), and I really enjoy them! The circle of fifths is really clicking now for the first time in my life lol. I might try to also use downtime in the lab to write out my scales since I have a better understanding of how they work (kinda). It presents the textbook content in a slightly different way which I kind of appreciate, and then I can take that perspective back to the online textbook exersizes which I do for a few minutes daily. When I go home (so very soon!!!) I'm going to have to bring out ol' girl Melody and try some things, I think.

On that note (hehe), I need to think of a name for my bass!! My flute is Melody, my sax is Jasmine, my uke is Lulu... which are admittedly not very creative but I think they got a little better over time :P (Melody because flutes play melody (I was twelve, okay?), Jasmine because saxes play jazz, and Lulu for Honolulu because ukes are from Hawaii). So I think that, in keeping with tradition, the name has to be a little cheesy. I have one idea, but I don't think it's clever enough.

I haven't been eating very well lately. I'm in the process of restocking my pantry. I think I sort of just.. ran out of steam for cooking for myself. So it's been an embarrassing amount of chef boyardee, uncle ben's, velveeta... but tomorrow, I'm shaping up! Meatball stroganoff. And I have a plan for future meals, so I'll keep an eye out for sales, etc etc. Gonna get restocked! I'm shaping up! Maybe tomorrow I'll go for a walk in the morning! Maybe before even picking up my phone! Who knows!

Today I'm thankful that it's cooling down!!!! And also for the rain :) And also that the pollen is gone!!!!! After a month of suffering it was suddenly just no longer blowing into my open window :D

wait one last thing, circling back, even though I want to give my brain a break from the bioinfo problems, I inherently still feel that I've left something undone, as in I started working on problem 7 but couldn't figure out the right formula to even do the probability by hand, and even though I want to give myself a full weekend break, my brain is still passively thinking about it because I feel as though I didn't come to a satisfying conclusion. i wasnt even supposed to finish problem 8 tonight but i couldnt let it go.

so i need a distraction.

crochet it is (I'm working on my vest! it is suuuuper cropped (I'm about 2/3 through the front panel right now) and I fear my tiddies will not make it in, but hopefully it will be done before I go home so I can block it and maybe fix it? [edit, two days later: the front was just wonky because this is the first thing I've crocheted in years and I hadn't figured out my tension yet; def gonna redo it i think]).

actual last thing: surprisingly, I'm actually actively working toward several goals. like i always set them, but the past couple of weeks have been a bit of a lull. now I just feel craaazy energized.

[holidayvisa]

20 February 2024 - I spent the morning setting up a little baby wall for Maddie on the front porch so that Maddie is free to crawl around on the front porch without being able to get to the stairs. We didn't want her trying to crawl down the stairs when someone wasn't watching and fall down the stairs. So, with Arnie's help, I nailed the baby wall onto the legs of the table that sits out there, and put the other end through the slats of the railing; it was attached at multiple points with no way of pushing through it. Elise picked me up around 11:30. Jimmy and I filled up Elise's tank with the diesel that Jimmy had in a jerry can. Jimmy was so stoked to finally get to meet Elise for real, even though it was a pretty quick meeting. I hopped in Elise's car, and we drove to Piha. On the drive to Piha, I told Elise that I'd had that conversation with Jess the day before, during which Jess asked me to be back by April 1st. Elise said that she'd like for me to stay in New Zealand with her. When we got to Elise's house, Elise made herself some food. She started eating while I started to make myself some food. I cut my thumb with the sharp knife, and Elise gave me some first-aid while I continued to cook. Eventually at 2 pm, Elise had adulting to do. She was leaving for a few days for her women's nationals spearfishing competition in Wellington, and while she and Laura were gone, their landlords were going to stay at their place. I helped vacuum while Elise tidied up the place. At 3 pm, we loaded up the car, and Elise dropped me off at my house on her way to the airport. It was nice to get to spend some time with her before her quick trip to Wellington.

Jisinda, the Oranga Tamariki lady, arrived at our house to meet with Jimmy about Maddie. We'd all spent several hours over the past couple days making the house look good so that we could impress the Oranga Tamariki people. The meeting did not go how Jimmy had hoped, so Jimmy was pretty bummed out for the rest of the day.

I drove the motorbike to Cam's house to pick up the AWOL van. I fueled up the AWOL van and drove it home to my house. I had this moment where I felt like I lived here and belonged here. It was when I was filling up petrol. I was at the petrol station, and as I was filling up, I just looked around and thought to myself, "I'm here, I'm part of something, and this is my life now." I don't know exactly how to describe it. But it was the act of doing this mundane task of filling up petrol that really made me feel like this was my new home. That probably sounds stupid. Maybe I'll be able to explain that feeling better in the future. So anyway, I left the gas station and drove back home. At home, Arnie cooked up some unclaimed mystery pork that was in the bottom of the freezer (and had been since December). I cooked up some frozen veggies (also unclaimed and in the bottom of the freezer). Jimmy, Arnie, and I ate pork chops and veggies together for dinner around the outside table. After dinner, as I washed the dishes, Jimmy came up to me and asked me if everything was okay. I told him what was on my mind - that Elise had said that she wanted me to stay in New Zealand. Elise had said that I need to make the decision, but that she'd like for me to stay. Jimmy and I decided to go on a drive. We drove to the supermarket and bought some shapes and some milk. The whole time, we talked about Elise, about Maddie, about Maddie's mom; we talked about several serious topics. Jimmy told me that I need to follow my heart, not my brain. And I told him that I've never been good at following my heart, and that I've always been good at following my brain. It was really nice to have a heart-to-heart with Jimmy. We have a really good relationship, me and Jimmy. I think we both understand each other and are total softies.

I'm grateful for Elise. I'm grateful for her honesty, confidence, her communication, her straightforwardness. I'm grateful for Jimmy. I'm grateful for his positivity and his unconditional love. I'm grateful for heart-to-heart talks with Jimmy.

[crmsnmth-journal]

7/26/2024 10:46 PM

Today was an Alley day and I can tell you, there is a difference in my mood. I've been in a bad mood all day, and work was frustrating. I didn't want to be there. I don't feel that at AV. At all. My mood is better, I'm joking with people again, I'm enjoying what I do again. That passion I used to have when I started actually cooking is coming back.

I got paid by both places today which is an awesome feeling. AV does direct deposit and I made something like 260$ in 18 hours or something like it. I made just a hair under 400 at the alley for almost 32 hours. Onve again, I'm seeing a million signs. Literally slapping me right in the face. Maybe that four leaf clover is working someting.

It was a good to have Sherry back in the kitchen. I know I call her a moron and idiot and dumb, etc. But she is a sweetheart as a person. I don't think I really talked about Sherry as a person. As a person, she is the sweetest person on the planet. She's got a million stories and we talk alot about music. She's a liberal democrat so we talk some politics. I mean, we're both on the left. She's just on the edge and I'm radically far left in nihilisim. So it was good to hae her back, as a friend. As soon as service started, it was the same old Sherry. It seems that no matter where I go, there's some one that's a bad apple. I guess every kitchen needs a stooge.

Mike was his jackass self. I think he might be feeling insecure that another restaurant in town is getting rave reviews on food, for the most part. He had to try and make loaded fries to prove he knew what the recipe was at AV. He failed, miserably. Left out two very important ingredients. Then it was right into making fun of their prices. I just smile and pretend to laugh. Soon enough I'll be free from the stress that the bowling alley is. It's been a long time coming. I know I'll feel guilty. I always do when I let someone down. Mike may be a giant ass for the past few months, but the guy has done a hell of a lot for me. I know I don't owe him shit, but it sometimes feels like I do. He helped when I was in jail. He took me back on after I had burnt the bridge before.

[aghadbeenhere]

What could be better?

AGHADBEENHERE's UNNAMED BLOG: 8#

Heyooo, here again with another somewhat short post to tell all of you that NO, I am indeed not dead, as opposed to what some goverments may say about my likelihood, I am alive and in good health, not only that, I've been doing rather alright as of recently, and by alright I mean good! Life is good, things are going great with my friends and all, we play, chat and all that shit.

Cooking's been going good too, Made myself a BREAKFAST burger because I am just that radical, awesome and totally super SICK, and dont worry, I added lettuce & tomato to it because I do care about my health, people!

My creative works have been.. Eeeh, I haven't really been doing much art-wise or animation-wise and I still feel like I should do SOMETHING about it, but I still got all the time for the forseeable future, so I'm not really worried about anything, maybe sometime soon though I will animate something, and I assure you i will post it here for all of you to see.

But on better news though, and something I am very glad to say..

*drumroll*

I..

Got a boyfriend!

That's right! He's very nice and I'm always happy to talk to him, and I really think just having someone to call 'honey' or 'boo' or whatever couples say is something that really does cheer me up and has me kicking my legs.

It's not anything too serious but I still really just like saying that I have a loved one in the romantic sense of the word, and it's not just for bragging rights, he's fun to talk to and just spend time with.

We still haven't reached the stage of 'being comfortable with silence' and that's bad because I totally fuckin' SUCK at conversations and saying stuff without blabbing on for too long, but so far it's doing great.

I really think this is just good, and even if I believe that I am not the best for a relationship at my current state, I still deserve the right to be loved, even if it doesn't work out.

Because fuck all that "oh, im not ready for this at the moment" bullshit.

You only live once, make the most of it, and do whatever you want, and even if I barely know myself and who I'll turn out to be in the future, I should still be loved as the genderless morally ambigious blob that I always have been.

So fuck it, take risks, do stuff that you're not ready for, experiment and try out new things!

I have a close one now and even if it doesn't turn out alright, or if we grow distant, I'll have the memories from the start of it all and I will be able to smile at them.

Of course, I'm not hoping for this to end, but I still don't have my thoughts and views on stuff that would naturally happen down the line in a relationship, but fuck it, we get there when we get there.

So yeah, AG on a really good note sending you all off.

Chase the petals of the rose and live proud from the scars you get by the thorns.

Live and Love, like I love all of you, (not in the same level as him, duh.) and stand proud of what you'll become.

As always, this was AG, wishing you all a happy day, week, month, year, or life.

See you later.

Yours for god knows how long, aghadbeenhere.

-aghadbeenhere, 2024

[christina-thebarber-yogi]

Hey y'all!! I know it's been a while but I'm back with more new year new me bs. I am not doing the 75 hard challenge this year. Instead I'm doing the whole 30 elimination diet. I won't be posting daily body pics but I'll post some food pics and all that. I meant to start with the updates sooner but here we are. I'm on day 8 and it feels like day 80. I "practiced" a little bit before the new year and I felt like I could do it....

For those who aren't familiar with the whole 30, participants basically cut everything out that is known to cause inflammation and cravings, a reset, if you will. What is eliminated is added sugar (all sources except fruit juice which is weird to me but whatever), alcohol (I haven't drank since before the challenge last year anyway), white flour (pasta, tortillas, pizza), dairy (I don't like it anyway), grains (rice, oats etc), corn (I guess it's also a grain), beans, diet soda, basically anything that makes you feel like 💩. However, it's quite meat heavy for me. I like eggs but I don't want them every day. I prefer oat milk to almond milk especially in my coffee. It's only 30 days but I think fish is making me bloated and gassy. I've tried several kinds (since I'm not buying snacks on bogo now and can afford it) and most have caused me gastrointestinal distress. I don't want to eat chicken every day but nuts and seeds only take me so far without lentils and quinoa and rice to bulk up my diet. I love fruits and vegetables and I really ate eggs sparingly (and they come from the fancy farms and all that) to begin with and very little meat. There is a plant based version that I might try after the reintroduction period. I miss overnight oats with date paste and chia seeds and walnuts. My boyfriend just came in the room with a bag of chips ahoy and I want one. My daughter has been making homemade chocolate sauce and she puts very little sugar in it but I still can't try it for 20 more days 😩

It's not all terrible though. I sleep better. I don't wake up with yukmouth. My clothes have gotten a little looser. My joints hurt less. I. Cook. Everything. So not going out to eat or grabbing a coffee has saved me the money I need to get the best of what I want to fix so that I'll actually want it and the people in my house who share it with me don't complain that it's not good. I'm waiting on the boundless energy that I was promised. I'm waiting for January 31st so I can have an oatmeal pancake and some lentils and rice and grits and maybe even pizza (vegan pls). I'm waiting on these Tums to kick in that I don't feel like I should red by now. Anyone else doing this?

The pics are of my last meal of 2023 (lions mane mushrooms over polenta with microgreens) and my first dinner of 2024 (before I smashed it it was roasted chicken and sweet potatoes, garlic kale, romanesco and purple cauliflower)

[crmsnmth-journal]

7/25/2024 10:29 PM

Second 12-hour shift down. My feet are killing me. My metal ankle is on fire, and I am exhausted. But once again, it was a blast. I don't think I've had one bad day there yet. Sure, I worked with that idiot, but the manager is trying to schedule her and I as far apart as possible. Which I'll take. She keeps up her garbage she's going to get fired anyway. The boss isn't stupid, he's shown that in how he handles his businesses. And he'll see the leech he has on the line. I had to train someone today. I found it funny that I've only worked there a couple days and I'm already training. It's not like the menu is all that hard. It just looks a lot more complicated than it actually is. She'll do fine. She did great on the fryers. Asked questions on things she didn't know. Watched. She'll get it. Her partner is on the wait staff too. Trans, which in this town is definitely not a good thing. I'm an ally. Always have been. For a while there, I questioned if I was trans. (I'm not. Closest I can describe it would be genderfluid) But this town sucks for anything like that. Small-town farmers, hicks and rednecks. So it was great to see the boss man doesn't give a shit about that. Like it should be. They both seem like really nice people and instantly got my humor right away. Joe was with me on the line tonight. Wing night. I fucking hate wings right now. Yesterday was wing night at the alley. Out of the two? AV's are a hundred times better. Fresh, not frozen wings in a marinade I don't know (yet) and they are awesome. The only thing I have issues with right now is the pizzas. There made so differently from the alleys that it's hard to break my habits. I'll get it eventually. I'm so glad I chose to do this second job. I feel better. I mean, in my head. I was so depressed for awhile there, that I was starting to get worried. But since I started at AV, I've been happier. The old me is starting to shine through the cracks. Maybe it is just the fact of something new, but it's also the co-workers, the boss, appreciation, the food is fun to cook and higher quality, this list could go on and on. It really is the change I've needed for a while now. I think I was so stuck down in my habits that I was drowning and didn't even know it. Either way, things are finally getting better. I'm finally catching a goddamn break. Now, I'm going to eat these Gouda Mac & Cheese bites and fall asleep to Game of Thrones.