#maybe I’ll start posting again

[bxbyxngxl]

The urge to post lewds has come back friends in my phone :/

[canine-economy]

On Swansea’s (often understated) role in Mouthwashing

I say this as a big swansea fan but I don’t rlly understand why ppl are acting like he’s not also complicit in what happened to Anya? AUs where “Anya tells Swansea” and he jumps to violently defend her don’t make sense to me because canonically she does tell him, as he admits to Jimmy. But swansea represents another way of interacting with the capitalist heteropatriarchy that ALSO harms victims: holistic jadedness and resignation.

Swansea is across the board unkind to the Tulpar crew. We can’t forget that he calls anya a “so-called nurse”

and says this to Jimmy, which (if unintentionally) reiterates Jimmy’s own warped perception of Anya’s usefulness and competence. This allows Jimmy to feel justified in his imagination of the nurse’s inferiority. Swansea’s clear lack of respect for Jimmy does less to hurt Jimmy than his lack of respect for Anya harms Anya, because at the end of the day, Swansea’s attitude is contextualized by the violent culture it exists in and he does nothing to reconcile with that when Jimmy becomes the captain. His resignation can thus be weaponized even by Jimmy, a man who Swansea disrespects but whose power he doesn’t try to meaningfully jeopardize, because his across-the-board disdain punches people already marginalized by the environment twice as hard as it does those with power.

Swansea doesn’t position himself as an ally, he positions himself as willfully uninvolved in everything, an observer to the shitshow ride to hell. Just because he dislikes Jimmy doesn’t mean he aligns with Anya. He makes it clear that he’s not on her side, either. After a life of doing what he felt was expected of him, Swansea on the Tulpar looks out for Swansea and Swansea’s comfort. In trying to situate himself outside of the politics of it all as an older white man, he simply allows them to play out. The toxic culture keeps existing, playing out in the microcosm that is this freighter, and Swansea in all his experience recognizes that shit has hit the fan and elects to coast through it, even explicitly numbing himself to it by breaking his sobriety. It is, of course, hard to force yourself to be sober—to see clearly. But had Swansea forced himself to get involved sooner, he might have set a precedent for Daisuke to recognize Jimmy’s abuse, which could have saved Daisuke’s life as well as created a safe space for Anya. But Swansea’s inaction forces both victims to confront an abuser on their own, unable to reap benefits from his privilege and experience.

Jimmy is clearly intimidated by swansea in a way he is not by Anya, Daisuke, or a post-crash Curly (Swansea, for example, physically manifests as an aggressor in Jimmy’s “responsibility sequences”, and Jimmy ties Swansea up to avoid what he sees as the real possibility of pushback that he doesn’t conceive of Anya being able to do). Swansea has a power he does not act on or with until it is far, far too late. In fact, he acknowledges in his final monologue that he was dissatisfied with the discomfort with opening his eyes and living an exemplary “good man”s life. The best days of his life are ones in which he’s belligerently drunk—days in which he didn’t have to hold himself accountable. He regrets the life he spent performing for higher-ups and we watch him reject it by scorning Captain Jimmy, but he also doesn’t want to be held responsible for helping other people when it’s their turn to endure the expectations and violence from similar (if not the same) higher powers. Tragically, he possesses the hindsight to recognize that how he acted on the Tulpar consequently wasn’t what Daisuke needed out of a role model, leading to Daisuke becoming a victim. His hands-off approach to emotional engagement with his young male intern (another symptom of patriarchal gender norms) may have been to avoid Daisuke turning out miserable and jaded like himself, but it doesn’t actually indicate to an already-confused Daisuke what the dangers of that attitude are. Swansea never admits his own shortcomings in a tangible way which, had they come from a man with experience and prestige like himself, may have shifted that culture that failed Anya. She comes to him with the story not because he has situated himself as any earnest friend, but likely out of desperation on a ship Jimmy now controls.

When we allow “the machine” (Swansea’s own words) to beat us down to the point that we don’t find it productive to challenge unjust power dynamics, we become complicit. I think too many people get hung up on his disdain for Jimmy and Jimmy’s fear of Swansea as a marker of allyship with Anya, but the truth is that Swansea. Is a bad ally. He’s hardly one at all. His long stint in the demanding capitalist environment molded a perfectly complicit result out of him, as it aspires to do, even if Swansea bitterly recognizes that. Jimmy’s overt violence from a position of power is a different and much more brutal approach to abuse enabled by people who have been left too tired and bitter to care that he does it. A man who could’ve intimidated and even threatened Jimmy is too resigned to try until there is literally nobody but himself left to fight for, which is an attitude carefully cultivated among the lower rungs of hierarchies to keep the top safe. Swansea in particular seems very unhappy with the capitalistic, patriarchal expectations laid out for him as a father, husband, and laborer. This becomes particularly resonant when you realize the symbolism of his role as mechanic: a job that can be deeply unpersonal, tasked with keeping the ship (the machine, if you will) itself going while other roles are more focused on managing the humans inside of it (e.g. nurse, captain). His decision to just stop trying and spare himself the grief instead of questioning why those expectations exist and how they would hurt the others onboard only delays him being directly targeted by Jimmy and doesn’t interrupt the latter’s violence.

Not a single man in mouthwashing is innocent in Anya’s victimhood. This is a statement tentatively uninclusive of Daisuke, because I think the game very deliberately positions him outside of manhood through his youth and thus struggling with the concept of “fitting in” to the patriarchy. Curly, Jimmy, and Swansea all represent different failures that ultimately perpetuate Anya’s suffering and force her to defend herself and finally take her life into her own hands. A holistic analysis of rape culture in MW necessarily engages with all three of them. Only not being a friend and ally to rapists and other male abusers isn’t enough, and Swansea proves it.

[collectivecloseness]

Eddie Munson getting a bump/bruise/cut on his head that you put a bandaid on, and he’s bumping it into your mouth every fifteen seconds, like a cat, and being the whiniest baby ever. He needs you to kiss his mark now! Every time, every second! Love him! He’s hurt! Help him!

‘Nooooo’ he whines when you are not kissing it/him. It was his own fault he got it, you told him to be careful when he was acting like his usual self, pre-bandaid. You’ve given him some ibuprofen and water, but he’s all cuddled up to you and not going anywhere.

He will straight up look at you offended if you even mention you are getting up, like he will give you the most offended and sometimes bitchy look, for real. How dare you even think about leaving him in his condition right now?

He’ll nuzzle his bandaided head into your mouth tirelessly, so much that no matter where you move your head, or if you’re trying to talk, you’ve got a plaster and Eddie’s boney head and a tonne of curls following your face everywhere, nuzzling right into your lips so you can’t even talk to Eddie about it. You’re smothered easily once again.

There’s no escape from Eddie and his need. You could breathe if you just gave him his kisses like he wanted! Eventually you get too busy pulling hairs out your mouth, while Eddie’s whimpering into your jaw, how you’re just being so horrible to him, whilst still hiding in your face.

Eddie is your stubborn and soft baby but he will just ram his head into your face harder if you say that. When you ask him if his injury hurts so much why is him acting like a horned goat not making him cry in pain, he just grabs your arms and pulls them over himself instead. Not letting you move your arms out of his tight hold whatsoever.

When you stop babying Eddie, or tease him too much, he’s telling you how mean you are to your injured boyfriend, saying don’t you always tell him boys can show their vulnerable side too, and why won’t you use your mouth for less bullying him and more magical healing kissing? Why don’t you love him anymore huh?

He keeps up with this all the way until nighttime, even if it happened in the morning. He’ll be the saddest/most annoying (whatever works) boy all day long so you stay snuggled up with him, looking after your poor injured helpless baby.

Eddie will only fall asleep with you constantly giving kisses around, not on, his very small no longer even hurting mark, swearing that’s the only way he can be lulled to sleep. Blinking those dark brown eyes up at you if you stop, and pouting about how he can’t sleep the pain away if you do that.

And God, Eddie Munson can sell cute.

And that’s just how Eddie dozes off after a long hard day for him, with your arms and legs wrapped around him, his own limbs clinging around yours, and with constant kisses to his injured head until he’s knocked out peacefully in bed snuggled into you, unrelated to his head trauma

[monkee-mobile]

ough god, I cried over this

[javierduffy]

sometimes i make myself emotional by thinking about how special it must be to javier that the gang at the very least somewhat learned cielito lindo for him so that they could sing along but now im doubling it by thinking about how kieran may gingerly wander up when javier is quietly plucking at the strings of his guitar, tuning them by ear and relishing in the comfort of the body vibrating hums through the meat of his thighs. kieran will politely sit on a nearby unused bedroll, knees tucked close to his body as though taking up less space is the respectful thing to do, and he’ll point to the instrument in javier’s lap.

“where’d you learn that, mister ?”

javier finds the spindly finger in his peripheral vision, follows it up to the brunette’s nervous face. he offers green eyes an extra glance, and he can see them soften like he’d given himself away already. damn.

“i learned it at home. in mexico, music is a very special thing. we use it to tell stories, history, to communicate with one another. mexico speaks music first, and spanish second. nearly every mexican can play at least a handful of instruments- i couldn’t tell you which one i played first and who it was that taught it to me. by now, it’s like a part of my body, just like it is a part of my soul.”

kieran nods along as javier continues to mindlessly poke and prod at the strings of his guitar, and he finds himself relaxing in a way that he’d never been able to around the man. maybe because javier himself seemed to be so content with his guitar in his lap. like a chef in a kitchen or a mariner at sea, javier brought home to him when the sounds he played echoed through wood and sang loud to his typical audience of outlaws. the crease around his eyes tells kieran that he asked about the right subject- though it seems that escuella is just as good at playing heartstrings as he is guitar strings, with the way that he can feel his blood loudly thrumming in his chest.

“could you maybe… teach me sometime too ?”

the way javier rears his head at the question makes kieran jolt- prey spooked wild in the dark eyes of a predator- though the recognition of excitement (as much as javier attempts to conceal it with apprehension) smooths his bristles back down again.

javier teaches kieran every song he knows, from the ones with all the lyrics he soothes or excites the camp with, to the lulls of wordless melodies that sailed the boat north with him. kieran is good with his hands, and attentive to his every action, so he learns quick and easy, though he’ll never sing a word, even if he could memorize the spanish (and even though he already has a lot of them simply by having dutifully listened to javier sing every night that he could). considers himself a flat dud when it comes to singing. javier is curious, but he’ll never press. often he’s too busy reveling in the sound of home emanating from kieran’s fingers plucking desert lullabies, songs javier thought he’d only ever get to hear from himself.

it hits different, to simply get to listen. to put your boots up on a log and enjoy the ride. he’d been the driver for so long that javier forgot how beautiful the scenery was. he’s grateful that kieran asked him to teach him how to play guitar- he finds himself nearly indulging the idea that when kieran practices or plays, he’s playing javier’s music for javier, and not because it’s the only music he knows. he finds it all too romantic, but the warmth that the idea brings to his skin is just as familiar as the mexican sun, and it aches in his heart how comforting those moments are.

kieran, on the other hand, in his soft, sunken heart, is absolutely playing javier’s music for javier. he can see how the notes have always danced along his smile lines as he sings or hums along to the sound. he’s always seen how protective of his guitar he is. he watches closely as javier plays even when no one is listening, and kieran more than anyone understands just how special something has to be for it to never grace the stage of another’s perception. and kieran, so knee-deep in his affection, wants to give javier the gift of comfort- a form of it so free he may feel he just robbed it from a corpse.

kieran becomes quite good, and javier becomes quite comfortable. often, in the direction of a billow of campfire smoke, you will hear the wordless song of guitar strings, accompanied by the howling gritos of love and grief.

[egghead7enthusiast]

I’m back from beyond the grave

telltale batman revived me im pretty sure

anyway enjoy these doodles :)

[raiiny-bay]

holding them all in my hands…….

[measlyscrapofseafood]

more rinz/dyson

alts under the cut

[fandom-draws]

Misc stupid stuff I’ve drawn over the past month

[chibishortdeath]

Mspaint is really fun actually—

[chrollogy]

[moeitsu]

For anyone in the US who is looking to switch platforms after the TikTok ban on the 19th, I’ve moved over to RedNote!

For obvious reasons it is not the same, but tbh if I had to describe it — it’s like TikTok and Pinterest had a baby. I’ve already seen a lot of people I follow on TikTok on this app. So if you’re looking for moots I’d be happy to follow back! 🫶💗✨

[wenjunwe]

shout out to tumblr user @turnipoddity for single handedly holding together the chainshipping fanart community in 2023 teehee, I don’t usually post my art on tumblr but I will just 4 them 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

u know lawrence would see him in this and say some shit like “you know nurses don’t dress like that”, nerd ass, but he’d love it anyways hehehe

[art-from-the-juice-box]

here he isssss it turns out i could have done this wayyy sooner cause i had a pokémon saved to his section on my pinboard that has been sat there for weeks that i forgot about lol. i assume i figured out who he’d be after i posted the other two and then just forgot i did? anyway he’s here now :)

[sob-dylan]

the other night i gave my number to a man and then the next day i woke up feeling more self-assured in my lesbianism than i have in a long time. peace and love on planet sapphos 😌

[javierduffy]

ohh javieran … javieran post kieran’s death .., javier is a poor lonesome cowboy in america a long way from home with no more sweetheart to sit and talk with him ooohhh can anyone hear me ….