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simplee-dreaming · 3 years ago

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The Party

A/N: I spent far too much time deciding how all of their outfits were gonna look so I hope it paid off. Also, I know some things I mention have different names in different countries but I've gone for what I only know as the British version. Hope you like it! (Totally didn't get inspiration for this idea from driving past a joke shop myself...)

Word count: 2951

Summary: The reader attends her first themed party hosted by RDJ, but her outfit lands her in trouble.

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Tonight was the night. The night you had been waiting for for weeks. A party at Robert Downey Jr’s house. But not just any old party, oh no, a party for the Avengers cast. Not even just a party - a themed party.

See, Robert is well known for his themed parties. Of course he’s done the classics such as the black and white theme, the 80s theme, even the “dress as your favourite superhero” theme - what could be more suited? But he’s also well known for his unique themes. For example: dress as what you wanted to be when you were a kid; dress as your favourite fruit or veg; dress as another member of the cast; dress as your favourite gay icon. The list goes on.

This was your very first party with the cast though. Being the newest member, you were super excited to have a great night with them all outside of work - plus little Tom couldn’t stop guessing what this theme could be. It was, of course:

“Dress as your favourite board game.”

Yep. Board games.

You spent ages trying to figure out what board game you were going to dress up as. The main rule of the themed parties was that you couldn’t tell other people what you were going as unless you deliberately needed someone else to complete your outfit.

You were desperate for ideas now that the party was only a week away. It wasn’t until you were walking down the highstreet, and something in the shop window caught your eye, that you finally had an idea. You were standing outside of a joke shop, and in the window stood a dress...designed like a Twister mat.

Perfect.

The day had finally arrived. No one was filming today so you had all day to get yourself ready. Hair and makeup done, Twister dress on, ready to rumble.

You made your way to RDJ’s house at half 8 - late enough to not be the first one there but early enough to enjoy everyone’s company for longer. You smiled with glee as you stepped into the house. You were tingling with excitement as you walked towards the room where the music played. The minute you walked into the room, everyone approached you. And one by one you scanned them all to see what they were dressed as.

The first person you saw was Anthony, he was dressed up as Cards Against Humanity. Not quite a board game but funny nonetheless. The front of his outfit was completely black and the back was completely white. The writing on his front read “I drink to forget _____”, and the writing on his back read “Tom Holland”. You giggled.

Next was Scarlett. She decided to come dressed as Pictionary. Part of her outfit was made with polyester and nylon, and she carried around a whiteboard marker so that anyone could draw a picture on her outfit and others had to guess what it was. This could also be wiped off easily, ready for the next person to draw.

Sebastian was next, you snorted when you saw him. He was dressed as Frustration. His outfit was divided into the four colours: his top right being yellow, top left being green, bottom right being blue and bottom left being red. He had placed a semisphere plastic hat over his head and inside lay a foam dice which jumped about whenever he shook his head.

After Seb came Liz. She was dressed up as Uno. Her front and back were two different colours of the uno reverse card - the front being red and the back being green. The point of this is that whenever someone asked her to do something she didn’t wanna do, she’d just point to her outfit and get out of doing it.

Next was Paul B. He came as Trivial Pursuit. Random questions and answers were plastered all over his suit, such as: “how many feet are there in a fathom? 6”; “What three-word slogan was named the most popular advertisement ever in a 2000 poll? Beanz Meanz Heinz”; and his own personal saying, “Where do snitches end up? In ditches”.

Following Paul was the unsurprising double act. Big Tom and Hemsy. They had come dressed as Snakes and Ladders. Tom had glued a giant toy python to his all-black outfit, and Chris had stuck a cardboard ladder to the front and back of his all-white outfit. Simple, yet effective.

Then came Evans who was dressed as Noughts and Crosses, despite numerous comments from RDJ about it not being a board game. His back was full of paper noughts and crosses stuck to his top but his front had a similar material to Scarlett’s where the cast could play their own game on his front and then wipe it off for the next players.

You scanned little Tom next. He had gone all out with his outfit, dressing up as Operation. He was wearing a light pink coloured top and matching trousers and had stapled all the pieces of operation to their correct areas, such as the butterfly, the spare rib and the wish bone. He’d also used face paint to paint his nose a dark shade of red. Adorably creepy in a way.

Last, but certainly not least, was the man himself. Robert Downey Jr. He came as the popular game Cluedo. And boy did he look fancy. He wore a top hat that had a giant question mark stuck to it, and a tuxedo with a long sweeping tail attached to the jacket. Neatly placed all over his black suit were the names of the suspects, the names of the rooms and the names of the weapons - all written in white. He looked splendid.

“Twister. How unusual. I love it,” Robert said, the others nodded in agreement.

“Thanks, you all look incredible,” you said.

Little Tom held out his arm and led you to the dance floor where you spent the next hour dancing the night away. Big Tom and Hemsy were owning the dance floor with their moves. Many party classics blared through the speakers, including 5,6,7,8...which you knew the dance off by heart but RDJ had to be taught the moves by you and little Tom.

Another hour passed and you were sat with Scarlett, Liz and Paul in the other room where the music wasn’t so loud. Seb was with you but he had asked Liz to get him a drink and she played the uno reversal so now he was on drinks duty.

“Paul, can I borrow your suit just so I can literally look smarter?” You asked, he chuckled.

“Maybe I can just follow you around and relay the facts for you,”

“You could be the Yoda to my Luke. Though I think you’re too big to sit on my back,” you said.

“Here’s your punch,” said Seb, returning with two cups for him and Liz.

“Finally, what took you so long?” she asked.

“I stopped in the party room, Anthony and little Tom are having a competition to see who can do the macarena better,” he said.

“But...the macarena is the macarena…” you said, confused.

“Try telling them that. Tom insisted that the Brits do it better apparently.”

“Well, we do have some absolute bangers,” you chuckled. Paul agreed.

“So where did you get that dress?” Scarlett asked you.

“The joke shop down the highstreet. I was walking past it last week and found it in the window. Thought it would be perfect,” you shrugged.

“Until Mackie gets over excited and plays Twister on you,” Seb said.

“I’d like to see him try,” you replied.

“Ah, here’s the gang. What are you all doing in here?” Robert said, entering the room with big Tom and Evans.

“We’re just sat chatting….wait, have you left Holland and Mackie alone?” Seb asked.

“They’re fine, Chris is with them,” Tom replied. You tilted your head at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe I should check on them…” Tom said, you nodded and he left the room.

“Soooo, how’s it going?” Evans asked everyone.

“We’re all fine but Y/N is a bit twisted,” Seb said. Everyone laughed but you bonked him on the head, making the dice jolt.

“Oi!”

You giggled and slapped the plastic hat again, the dice landed on a 6.

“Eyy I get another go!” You cheered before bonking him on the head again. He sighed but chuckled.

“Well it’s nice to see her dressed as an actual board game,” Robert said, turning to Evans.

“Hey, that’s not fair! Noughts and crosses is a board game!” Evans protested.

“I wanna play,” you said. Evans smiled at you.

You got Liz to play with you and you went first. You decided to play as noughts and took the bottom left corner. After a few rounds, you got a straight diagonal line. You cheered as Liz huffed, but she congratulated you nonetheless.

“I wanna play pictionary now,” you said, turning to Scarlett. She smiled and handed you a whiteboard pen. You thought for a moment then began drawing.

You pressed down on Scarlett’s outfit to make sure you could draw properly. You ran the pen down her stomach and she giggled.

“Hey, careful, that tickles,” she said. You blushed and apologised but continued. Everytime the pen went over a certain spot Scarlett would giggle but she never flinched.

“Okay, I’m done,” you announced. Everyone leaned forward and groaned once they saw it.

“Really? You know none of us can say that,” Seb said.

“First one to say it correctly wins,” you shrugged. You had drawn Mjolnir, something that everyone struggled to say.

“Midge-oh-lair,” said Liz.

“Mjohn-ler,” said Seb.

“Me-joln-ier,” said Evans.

“Hey! It’s Mjolnir!” came a voice from the door. Hemsy had just walked in with Mackie, little Tom and big Tom.

“We have a winner,” you grinned and everyone groaned again.

“Okay now I wanna play snakes and ladders,” you said. You scrambled to your feet and launched yourself at Hemsy, climbing up his tall body and clinging to him like a koala. He laughed.

“Okay, and what do we do now?” He chuckled. You shrugged and hugged him tighter, he returned the favour.

“As nice as this is, princess, I can’t carry you around the rest of the evening,” Hemsy said.

“Alright, hang on. Gotta complete the game,” you said. You motioned big Tom to come nearer and leaned over to hug him. Your legs followed and wrapped around his waist before you slid down his body and landed on the floor. Tom laughed.

“Impressive,” he said. You lay flat at the floor and looked at him, giggling.

“You’re very playful today,” big Tom said.

“I’m just happy to be here,” you giggled, he smiled at you.

“Alright my turn, I wanna play twister,” Mackie said, launching himself at you.

“WAIT!” You cried, panicked by his sudden movement. Mackie didn’t listen.

“I’m not doing anything! I need someone to give me an instruction,” he said.

“Right foot red,” Seb said. Mackie lifted his foot and put it on the first red spot he could see, directly on your tummy. You giggled as he adjusted his foot, rubbing it against your tummy.

“Noho Anthony!”

He looked and realised what he was doing, then smirked and vibrated his foot on your tummy again. You giggled louder.

“The twister mat is making noises, how do I turn it off?” He asked.

“Um, try putting your left hand on yellow,” little Tom piped up. Mackie grinned as he spotted a yellow spot on your ribs. He put his hand down and gave them an “accidental” squeeze.

“Hehey!” You shrieked.

“Didn’t work Holland, anyone else?” Mackie said.

“Try right hand green,” Scar said, smirking. Mackie placed his right hand on the green spot on your side and squeezed again.

“Stohop!” You cried.

“Right well that didn’t work, and I can’t put my left foot on it otherwise I would break it. Any other ideas?” he said.

“You may have to push a few buttons, try turning it off and on again,” Paul said. Mackie squeezed your ribs and sides again and shook his foot on your tummy. You screeched loudly.

“Nope, still making noises,”

“Let me have a look,” Liz said. Mackie had you pinned below his hands and foot. You started to giggle as you felt a single finger run up your neck.

“Nonono Lizzie!” You squeaked as she dragged a nail up the other side.

“There must be an off button around here,” she teased. She gently scribbled all her nails into your neck. You scrunched up your shoulders and shrieked.

“NOHOHOHO!”

“Definitely not here, you sure it’s not there Mackie?” Lizzie asked. Mackie squeezed your ribs and sides again and your giggles turned to laughter.

“Nope, no no, that’s made it worse,” he said. “Someone try a blue spot!”

Evans jumped up and ran over to help. He found a blue spot right on your hip, he placed his hand over it and started squeezing.

“NAHAHAHAHAHA!” You screamed. Trying to buck your body was impossible with Mackie still pinning you.

“Dammit Evans you turned the volume up!” Mackie yelled.

“Maybe the problem lies outside of the mat itself,” big Tom piped up.

“What you saying Hiddleston? That we’re the problem?” Mackie asked.

“Not at all, just that there appears to be parts connected to the mat, but not part of the mat itself,” Tom said, putting his hand on his chin. He slowly approached you and swiped a single finger under your knee. You kicked it away.

“Now it’s malfunctioning,” Mackie informed him. Tom hummed and swiped a finger under your other knee. You kicked again. He then spider tickled under both your knees and you shrieked loudly.

“PLEHEHEASE I’M NOHOT BROKEN!” You screamed.

“God DAMN you made it talk!” Mackie yelled.

“I know what the issue is,” Robert said, stepping forward.

“Do go on?” big Tom said.

“You need to hit all the pressure points at once. It’s like a giant reset button, wear it down till it reboots itself,” he said. Everyone looked at each other.

“Position yourselves,” Robert instructed.

Mackie stepped off of your stomach and knelt by your left side, Seb knelt by your right. Lizzie was still up by your neck and big Tom by your knees. Scarlett was by your right shoulder, Paul by your left. Evans positioned himself by your hips, little Tom the other side by your thighs. Hemsworth and Robert sat next to your feet.

“Nonononono please!” You cried.

“Rebooting systems in 3…” Robert began.

“No please!”

“2…”

“Wait!”

“1…”

“No wait I’m not brOHOHOHOKEN!” You cried as everyone attacked you at once. No one was pinning you down but you could hardly twist and turn with 10 people tickling all your spots at once. They were all ruthless and yet...you sort of loved it.

“PLEHEHEHASE NOHOHOHO!” You cried, flailing your arms around. Mackie and Seb were squeezing up and down your sides and across your tummy, Lizzie was tickling deep into your neck, Scar and Paul had just caught an arm each and pinned it upwards so they could tickle your underarms, big Tom was scratching under your knees and squeezing the tops, Evans was squeezing and scribbling into your hips, little Tom was scratching up and down your thighs and Hemsy and Robert had grabbed a foot each to tickle. It was pure torture.

“KEEP GOING, IT’LL WEAR DOWN EVENTUALLY!” Robert yelled over your screams of laughter. Everyone picked up the speed and you screamed louder than ever before.

You now had your arms and legs pinned by Scar, Paul, Robert and Hemsworth so you tried to buck your hips as much as possible and scrunch up your shoulders to protect your neck but it was no use.

“NOHOHOHO MOHOHORE!” You cried. You let out another loud scream and fell into a silent laughter. Tears filled your eyes to the point where you couldn’t even see Lizzie kneeling over you.

“Reboot complete,” Robert instructed. He stopped tickling your foot and one by one the rest of the cast followed and ceased their attack. You lay there, taking in deep breaths of air.

“You alright twisty?” Mackie asked, sliding up to your head. You nodded, letting out residue giggles. Evans gave you a hand up and propped you up against the sofa.

“You...are...all...evil…” you breathed out. Everyone chuckled.

“You were in a playful mood, we wanted to join,” Evans said, winking at you.

“I never knew you were so ticklish,” Hemsworth said.

“So would you be if 10 people ganged up on you,” you replied. He laughed and nodded in agreement. Little Tom sat down next to you.

“You okay?” He asked, pulling you in for a hug. You nodded.

“Yeah...that was fun,” you clamped your mouth shut after realising what you just said.

“Fun eh?” little Tom teased, quickly spidering your side to make you giggle again.

“We had fun too if that’s any consolation? Could go for round two if you want,” big Tom said. You looked at him and smiled.

“Not today I don’t think, you guys well and truly broke me,” you said, everyone laughed.

“I think I’ve already decided on the theme for next year,” Robert said. Everyone turned to him.

“Tickle Me Y/N,” he said, “where everyone has to bring a random object to tickle Y/N with. First to make her say stop wins.” He winked at you and you blushed and hid your head in little Tom’s shoulder. He chuckled and stroked your head.

“Now that will be a fun theme,” Mackie replied.

#tickle fic #avengers cast tickle fic

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twilightknight17 · 4 years ago

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Today on P5S, we’re taking a nice relaxing dip in the hot sprin--

Fukuoka, Kyushu! The plan was to keep going straight through to Kyoto, but Makoto was hurting from all the driving, so we pulled over with the intention of spending the night in a proper hotel and having a good meal. Which, of course, means ramen, because we gotta try the local ramen in each place. ^_^

Even Morgana wanted to try, though he requested that Akira blow on it, first, because “feline tongues are sensitive.”

The plan was to stay in Fukuoka until Makoto was feeling better, but Zenkichi called and basically said we had to get to Kyoto right away. So after a night of sleep, we got up the next morning, and we finally learned why Haru hasn’t been driving, despite having her license.

My wife has a lead foot.

Apparently no one but Joker and Queen ever drove the Mona Bus, because everyone but Makoto seemed extremely surprised.

Supposedly it was eight hours to Kyoto. We were there by noon.

Anyway, this old bar is apparently Zenkichi’s safe house, if anything ever goes wrong on an investigation.

He’s tracked the list of names that we found in the lab back to a politician called Jyun Owada, who was apparently a Shido supporter. This guy would benefit from changes of heart, and one of his supporters is the CEO of Madicce, Mr. Akira Konoe. They determine that Owada wouldn’t have a Jail himself, but that he’s probably getting Konoe to influence people for him. Which means that, since Sophia sensed a Jail in Osaka (that we missed because we were all screaming at Haru’s driving), it’s most likely that Konoe is a Monarch.

So my dart hit the board, I just gotta see how close to the bullseye.

Zenkichi heads to Osaka for a meeting with Konoe to try to get his keyword, and convinces the kids to stay behind. They need to rest and recover so they can be at their best for the Jail. Plus, he’s put them up in the nicest hotel in Kyoto! Which means it’s time to go to the hot springs!

The boys are having a lovely time relaxing. Even Morgana’s chilling on a rock with his tail in the water, basking in the chance to really unwind.

.......Atlus. We need to have words.

Not only was this absolutely unnecessary...

It’s the exact same scenario as P3. We’re even in the same goddamn city. If I thought Gekkoukan would be willing to spend 40K per person a night, it might as well be the same hotel.

Apparently, the boys went in right before the time switched over, and didn’t realize. And now, once again, they’re up for an unjust execution. At least Yosuke and Teddie were actually peeping in P4.

Personally, I think a better plan would have been to start yelling, “Who’s there?” as soon as the girls came in. Sneaking just makes it look like you’re up to something nefarious. It was an honest mistake. And really, trying to get out without causing a scene isn’t a heinous crime.

We don’t see who knocked over the thing that got them caught, but they do get caught. There’s no gameplay here. Defeat is inevitable. And...

The girls jump immediately to accusing them of being perverts. Never mind that they’re wet because they just got out of the damn hot spring. And the boys try to explain. They try their best. They explain that they didn’t realize the time had switched. They explain that they’d gotten locked in without noticing, because the men’s side doors lock when it switches over. “It was an accident,” Akira says, plaintively.

And Makoto looks at these boys that she’s fought alongside for over a year. The ones who risked their lives to save her and everyone more than once. The teammates that she stood beside as they shot a god and saved the entire damn world. The ones who, on this very roadtrip, stepped in to defend Haru from Natsume being a harassing jackass... And she says...

She sounds actually angry.

And she beats them up.

For an honest mistake.

I know this is a trope, but in this particular instance, it’s stupid, and it feels incredibly out of character. None of the boys deserve this, but Akira least of all. He’s your goddamn leader; he’s done more for any of you than anyone else. He’s been falsely accused of shit over and over, and now he has to deal with it from his own teammates?

For shame, Atlus. Shitty writing, especially because this event is never going to be brought up again. Was this supposed to be funny? Because in this situation, it wasn’t at all.

...now that I’m done being cranky, let’s go check how Zenkichi’s meeting in Osaka is going.

Hm. Nowhere, apparently, because Konoe’s gone for the day. Weird. Zenkichi had an appointment and everything.

Now let’s check on... well fuck.

Commissioner Kaburagi, Zenkichi’s boss, is summoned by the commissioner general and the previously mentioned Owada. This asshole is claiming to have evidence that the Phantom Thieves are behind all the changes of heart. They hacked into EMMA!

You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve, when you’re the one behind this.

.......maybe this lady is better than I thought.

She says that there’s not enough proof, and that they need to look into things more. The commissioner general counters that the Thieves are going to be tried for murder. Because apparently they killed that poor man at the Okinawa facility after they learned how to get into EMMA.

Kaburagi knows this is bullshit and wants to investigate more, but they basically tell her to do it or else. And promise that she’ll be commissioner general one day. After the current commissioner general launches his political career with the capture of the Phantom Thieves, of course. And she’s just going to follow orders. Never mind. God. I didn’t misjudge her at all.

Konoe goes on TV and announces that they’re shutting down EMMA temporarily, because the Phantom Thieves hacked it and stole personal information. He also informs everyone that they murdered one of his employees. Zenkichi and I had the same reaction, which was “WHAT?!”

Look at this asshole.

Zenkichi realizes what’s going to happen and takes off for Kyoto. Cut to that night, where there’s an entire fucking squad of police outside of the hotel in riot gear. For seven teenagers. Zenkichi shows up and basically pleads with Kaburagi to stop and think, because the real mastermind is still out there.

Kaburagi snaps back with, “You mean like with your wife?” and Zenkichi shuts up. Low blow, lady. She also points out that he seems very attached to criminals.

Before Kaburagi can have the police storm the place, Zenkichi yells for the kids to run, and gets arrested for it. The kids make it to the safe house, but when they find out about the arrest, they want to go after him. They end up agreeing to let Makoto handle that, and then we get a look at King Asshole himself.

I hate how nice this man’s office is.

And I’m kind of afraid of EMMA.

Good luck with that, though. You’d have to break them first; you can’t change the heart of someone stable enough to have a persona. Not that this fuck would know that.

God, he’s like if Shido and Maruki had a fucked-up kid. He wants his own personal team capable of entering the metaverse and changing people, to make the world “better”. Holy fuck.

Somehow I don’t think you’re the one in the right, when you’re talking about making us a “sacrifice to bring about [your] new world order.”

So the next day, the Thieves get a text from Akane’s phone number, that basically says she’s been kidnapped. It’s clearly a trap, but they all agree that they have to go. According to the text, if they want her back, they need to come to Inari Taisha.

Also known as Fushimi Inari, the largest Inari Shrine in Japan. I’ve been there.

I have literally been right there. I have a picture:

And so the kids head into a Jail based on Fushimi Inari where the keyword is “Phantom Thieves”, and I try not to explode from sheer glee because oh boy I thought I’d have to wait a lot longer for this and also I didn’t expect it to be somewhere I know.

Eeeeeeeee~

They find Akane tied up and all go running towards her. Futaba trips, and before she can catch up, a huge cage snatches up the rest of them, because surprise, the Jail Monarch is Akane, and she’s absolutely ready to lord it over them.

Meanwhile, Zenkichi is getting beaten up in interrogation and taking it like a champ.

But it’s okay, because Makoto called in a favor. <3

Futaba managed to get back to the safe house, and Zenkichi met up with her there after Sae got him released.

So you know that bit in P5 where the phan-site poll hits 100% belief and we summoned a demon the size of a skyscraper? That’s Zenkichi right now, except he’s hitting Maximum Dad Energy and I’m pretty sure he’s going to summon his persona.

There’s a cool stealth sequence where you have to sneak by a bunch of shadows, because Zenkichi doesn’t have a persona. Futaba runs navigation for him, but it’s so funny because he... sneaks like a regular person. He doesn’t leap into cover with superhuman speeds.

It might have been cool to play Zenkichi With A Gun, but stealth mode was fun, too. XD

And then the confrontation with Akane. She gives the Thieves a choice of who wants their heart changed first, but before anyone can stupidly volunteer, Zenkichi shows up, and a few more things get revealed. Most importantly, the fact that Owada is the one who killed Zenkichi’s wife, and Zenkichi got death threats directed at Akane if he didn’t stop investigating. No fucking wonder he couldn’t solve the case. But Akane is too disillusioned to listen, because she doesn’t understand. And Zenkichi is forced to confront that at some point, he compromised his morals, telling himself he was doing it for Akane.

This line wasn’t sung, but I kind of wish it was, considering who his persona is. :P

Zenkichi admits that he might have been wrong. But he was doing it to protect the only family he had left.

“But at least I know what makes a person evil. Evil only cares about itself. It’s the mark of a man who would bring another to ruin and dare not show remorse.”

And his awakening was badass.

Shitty picture, but his literal shadow had glowing eyes while it was forming the contract. It was so cool. :D

Wolf is awesome. After beating up a whole hoard of shadows by himself, Akane got away, the Thieves were freed, and we all went back to the safe house to rest. And I swear, you take a nap for one hour, and cannot get any peace. XDDD

Thank you, darling. Now I gotta figure out what deck that’s from.

So that was today. Technically I only played for like...2 and a half hours?? But god, we hit the hot springs and everything just flung itself directly off a cliff and all I could do was hold on.

I have so many thoughts about things!!! But I need to see more first. But this has been fantastic overall.

#god this is a long one #Li plays P5Scramble

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kpop-uni · 5 years ago

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Through the Lens // Five

Christian YuxYoutuber!Reader Words: 4.5K A/N: WOW did this take forever :( I’m sorry for the long wait but as you guys probably know I’m not in the best mental place right now and my main priority was getting help for me. Though, thanks for sticking with me! Love ya lots! But we’re looking at maybe? Two chapters until the end? Like usual I might post a poll on what fic to post but if anything I’ll just post summaries and Ill update as I go along~ If anything, a poll will be up with weekend to see what fics I’ll be posting next!

Chapter Four // Chapter Six

To everyone, except for Gyungmo of course, nothing was out of the ordinary with you. You smiled and joked around the same, always enthusiastic about going out to eat or shoving your mouth with snacks. But, the moment that Christian joined, or if Chaeyoung was present, everything with you went quiet. You stayed in your place with the same excuses.

"I'm editing." "No, I'm just making sure the battery is okay." "I gotta make notes on what to delete."

Scott, on the other hand, began to notice, furrowing his eyebrows and thinking that maybe Chaeyoung had said something to you. But even when he knew no one was noticing the two of you, Chaeyoung offered you her snacks, always asking if you needed something from the store or if she could watch while you went over the edited videos. You tensed a bit when she was near you, giving her one-worded answers or sometimes answering with a shake of your head.

"Did I do something to her?" Chaeyoung looked over at Christian.

You had left the room rather quickly after Chaeyoung gave Christian a kiss on the cheek. Chaeyoung turned to you as you slammed your laptop shut, quickly walking out of the studio with Scott right behind you.

"Hm?" Christian finally gave his attention to Chaeyoung, eyes moving away from the reflection of the studio glass. He saw how Scott was whispering to you, your shoulders slumping, getting up and leaving with him right behind you. Christian's blood boiled, hands clenching into fists.

"If I did or say something to her," Chaeyoung repeated, elbow resting on the table and fist on her temple. "I feel like she doesn't like me much,"

Before Christian could answer, Gyungmo came in with Cline right behind him, the two showing Christian the finished song.

"Gyungmo, I can't do this anymore..." You sighed, your thumb pad between your teeth as you nibbled on it, a habit you had when nervous or stressed.

"I told you, just stop overthinking these things-"

"But it's like he's rubbing it in my face," You turned to Gyungmo, hands now on your knees before you sighed, going back to staring at your laptop screen. "This video is almost half an hour long and I still haven't added any footage of him. And to top it, this whole part was about his process!"

Gyungmo sighed, biting his inner cheek, silent until you let your head fall. "So? Are you gonna cut this part out of the series?"

It was quiet, Gyungmo waiting for your response before you shook your head, giving out a sigh. You'll admit, you wanted to skip this part of the series but you knew you would get questions about why and the last thing you wanted was for fans to twist around your intensions. "No, I have to film him and see if he needs anything edited out."

With a nod, Gyungmo left you to continue his work. You hesitantly reached for your camera and laptop, holding on to the charger with your finger as you made your way to Christian's workspace. You stood outside the door, calming your nervous as you lifted your fist, about to knock when the door was pulled open, Christian looking down at you.

He was a bit startled, blinking and taking the tiniest of steps back before you immediately looked down. He watched as you fidgeted, almost dropping your laptop in the process of trying to find your words.

"I need to edit my video with you, just to see if it's okay with you and if you want-"

"I'm going on a date with Chaeyoung, can it wait?"

You gulped at the interruption, your voice already shaking with the nervous. The last thing you wanted was to make an even bigger fool out of yourself so you nodded. You simply stepped back, Christian moving past you and ignoring the way you bit your lip, heading in the opposite direction.

You locked yourself in Cline's space, taking deep breaths and calming yourself down. You slumped down on the arm of the couch, closing your eyes and breathing in and out. With a sigh and soft bite to the corner of your lip, you gulped down the rest of the feelings you had, fixing your laptop and charger in your hand before standing.

Scott looked down the halls, trying to find any sign of you before spotting you checking your phone, calling your name. You were a bit startled, Scott laughing as he walked over. "You hungry?"

You spent the afternoon in with Scott at a small restaurant, the two of you laughing and talking about anything Scott was working on. Eventually, the conversation turning into a game that Scott was interested in playing.

"I think my next series is going to be just playing that game, I've heard good things about it,"

"Are you seriously going to go back to gameplays?" Scott asked, excitement in his eyes as you laughed. The two of you eventually felt like you overstayed your lunch break, Scott letting you pay for the food after losing to a quick round of rock, paper, scissors.

When the two of you walked out, you looked up to find Christian and Chaeyoung walking across the street, hands tightly grasped. Chaeyoung giggling about whatever Christian whispered about, a smirk on his face. You ignored them, focusing on Scott who kept telling his story, your hand in the crook of his arm as the two of you decided to go on a stroll. You laughed a little at what Scott said, distracting you from Christian.

But Chaeyoung noticed you right away, smiling a bit and leaning her head on Christian's bicep. "Aren't they so cute? I feel like they were meant for each other,"

Christian looked over, quickly spotting how much you were laughing at Scott's hands tickling your sides. He clenched his teeth, Scott leaning all his weight on you as you attempted to hold him up, whining his name as he laughed, the two of you stumbling slightly.

You let Scott drag you back to him, continuing the walk. Christian hummed, turning back ahead and trying to ignore what he saw, letting out a breath. "She seems so nice... I kind of feel bad because I think she just doesn't like me," Chaeyoung let the conversation end there, focusing on Christian and their date. But Christian's jaw tensed, looking down at Chaeyoung.

"I'm sure you did nothing, she's just a little hard to get along with at first,"

Gyungmo and Scott had invited the guys on your last night to end your vacation with a celebration, hosting a house party in Scott's place. You knew it wasn't nice, but you couldn't help but feel happy that Christian and Chaeyoung didn't go. You wanted to enjoy yourself once more before heading home, and you knew you weren't going to be able to if you only saw them together.

You let yourself relax, enjoying the company of Hyuk who wouldn't let you go, making you shy whenever you were teased about it. Woo taught you how to spin a few records, teaching you the basics of how to DJ. You stayed with your camera glued to your hand, taking pictures and videos of everyone and everything.

The next morning, you sat on the hotel bed, showered and with everything packed save for your laptop case. You tried looking for the courage to send the text, looking down at your phone. You let out a breath, squeezing your eyes closed and pressing the send button.

Christian's attention was given to his phone at the ding it made, seeing a text from you and sighing a bit.

Y/N 12:54 PM: Can we edit the video now?

Christian knew he couldn't avoid you forever, so he replied back that he was in his studio and to go over. He sat back in his chair, hands rubbing his face as he knew he needed to face you sooner or later. But still, he couldn’t help the anger that bubbled up whenever he saw you, knowing you belonged to Scott.

Christian waited for half an hour, closing his laptop and just about to give up on you when you knocked, heading inside the studio.

"Hey,"

Christian looked up from his laptop, seeing you walk in with your own laptop on hand. You closed the door behind you, Christian, without a word, moved his things aside and giving you room to set your laptop down.

The tension was thick and you began to think that you took forever in setting your editing programs up, taking a seat and clearing your throat. "So, I'm going to combine the videos and play them, I'll tell you my plans and you tell me what you want me to get rid of."

With only a nod and a hum that Christian gave you, you opened the file only for Christian's part of the series, clicking into each video in the order you set it. You waited as he watched the first clip, biting your tongue gently.

Christian was clicking away in the video, eyes focused on his screen as you zoomed in a bit, giggling. He turned to you, giving you a confused look before breaking out into a smile.

"You don't need this one," Christian sat back into his chair, making you hum.

"This one is the intro, kind of to kick it off." You hesitated on looking at him, Christian rolling his eyes and shrugging, sighing out a quiet whatever. You looked back at the video, clicking out of it and moving it to a new file, continuing the second video.

"Delete that, I want my programs to be kept to myself," You nodded, adding in an edit, making sure to type it into the notes on your phone, continuing the video.

Your leg shook with nerves, eyes glued to the screen, going from video to video and doing everything that Christian told you to do with it. It was only a couple more videos when a knock on the door made you both turn, Chaeyoung poking her head before giving a shy smile. “Sorry, I’ll let you guys continue-“

“No, it’s fine.” Christian waved her in, pulling a chair right next to him. You squirmed in your seat, eyes going back to your screen and clicking through the video. You ignored the tiny giggle that escaped Chaeyoung and the soft kiss that Christian gave her until Christian gave you his attention again.

By the end, what could've been a 24-minute long video turned into only 5 minutes. You combined all the videos together, seeing the time limit and frowning, going through other files to look for any other videos you could add.

"That's it, right? We finished?" You could hear the impatience in Christian's voice, pulling his laptop closer. Chaeyoung helped him pull his items closer, going back to resting her arm on the table.

"No, the video needs to be longer than just five minutes," You ignored the way Christian grumbled, closing your eyes and continuing to look for more videos.

"Why don't you like Chaeyoung? What did she do to you?"

You were caught off guard with the question, fingers freezing as you looked at Christian. He glared at you, almost as if he wanted to bury you alive, hand gripping the mouse. Chaeyoung, who was once on her phone, turned to Christian so quick, you thought she was going to snap her neck.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, letting your hands fall from your keyboard to your lap, shaking your head as you scoffed. “What?”

With a sarcastic chuckle, Christian shook his head. “Everyone can tell that you don’t like Chaeyoung. So why? She’s been nothing but nice to you-“

“Who said that I didn’t like her? I never said that!” You argued back, turning fully toward him.

“You make it so fucking obvious!” Christian raised his voice, hand waving as if he were showing you how obvious it was. “All that’s left is for you to openly tell her to fuck off-“

“Why the hell are you saying such shit?” You yelled back, glaring at Christian. “I’m sorry that I don’t want to talk to your girlfriend like she's my best friend! Is that what’s bugging you?”

“Ian, stop...” Chaeyoung tried to stop Christian, looking at you with worried eyes. “I’m so sorry, please just ignore him.”

“Come on,” Christian laughed, shaking his head. “Y/N, you literally act like a bitch with her. You’re all fun and games with everyone and when she comes in the hate just oozes out of you!”

Your eyes widened, slamming your laptop closed and grabbing your things. Chaeyoung flinched at the slam, a quiet yelp leaving her and Christian only flinched a bit. “Have you ever thought that maybe it’s not her I hate, Christian?” You turned to the door, grabbing the doorknob. “Maybe, just maybe, it’s you that I hate?”

Before you could even take a step out, the door was slammed closed, catching you off guard. You were spun around, backing yourself to the door as Christian's jaw clenched, eyes filled with anger as your hands pressed into his chest, attempting to prevent him from getting closer.

"You have no fucking reason to hate me," Christian's words came out quietly, each one oozing venom. Your eyes that were once wide in surprise turned into a hard glare, adding force to your push that only resulted in Christian moving only slightly back. "I never did anything to you.“

"Ian..." Chaeyoung hissed, worry evident on her face as she desperately tried to pull him away from you. "That's enough, okay? You don't need to do this-"

"Never did anything to me?" You scoffed, staring up at Christian in disbelief. "You treated me so nice the whole beginning, but one little drunken night that we kissed and you suddenly changed on me! And you got yourself a girlfriend making me think that I'm the problem!"

Chaeyoung finally stopped trying to pull Christian -who was frozen in shock- back, as Chaeyoung looked at you as if you had grown another head, shaking her head a bit. "Christian wouldn't do that..."

You looked at Christian, an eyebrow raised as you waited for him to talk. “You didn’t tell her? That I pulled you out to dance and you made me think there might have been something between us, only for you to make me feel like a cheap hookup?”

Christian was at a loss for words, only staring at you as he finally stepped back enough, letting you rush out of the room. You stopped before closing the door, looking at Christian one more time. “I regret ever getting close to you,” The slam of the door echoed in the room, Chaeyoung letting out a breath and moving away.

“I really thought you started to like me,” Chaeyoung’s voice was soft, pulling away from Christian to grab her phone.

“I do-“

“No, you don’t,” Chaeyoung looked up at Christian. He faced her, worry on his face as Chaeyoung sighed. “Why did you even do this to her? To me?”

Christian tried to say something, anything to not hurt Chaeyoung. His mouth opened and closed as if he was choking on air, trying to find the right words before closing his eyes, letting out a breath.

“She doesn’t like me, she was drunk and I thought maybe, just maybe, she liked me but she only liked Scott. She probably only kissed me to get back at him since he was with some other girl.” Christian moved to sit on his chair, burying his face in his hands. “I didn’t want to hurt you, and you’re so cool and I thought maybe I can forget her but-“

“You’re still into her,” Chaeyoung finished his sentence, Christian quiet. He clasped his hands in front of his face, only nodding. Chaeyoung looked down, silently walking out the studio.

Christian stayed in silence, head spinning with thoughts of everything that has happened. He groaned, burying his face in his arms, wrapping his hands around his head, wanting to curl into a ball and hide for a while.

You tried to calm down, huffing out in anger as you set your things down on a desk, your eyes closed as you finally let yourself breathe. "Everything okay?"

Scott smiled when he found you, walking over as you sat up on the desk, swinging your legs lightly. He stood next to your legs, watching your lips curve up into a small smile. "It's flight nerves, nothing too big,"

Scott stayed quiet, knowing you were lying but only responding with a smile, patting your thigh gently. You were quiet, your fingernails gently scratching Scott's head as his eyes closed a bit, enjoying the attention. You smiled a little, tilting your head a bit. "Sometimes when you spend time with me, I wish you were the one I fell for,"

Scott scoffed, laughing a bit as his eyes stayed closed, leaning more into you before resting his head on your arm. "We would be that famous couple that people would call us mom and dad,"

"Bold you to think they already don't," You giggled as Scott laughed quietly.

You both stayed silent a bit longer, Scott eventually pulling back and grabbing your things, silently giving you the hint that it was time to leave. "I'm sorry things didn't work with the guy you liked," Scott grabbed your hand, fingers intertwining as the two of you headed to your hotel.

"It's whatever, I'm just glad I never told him or else I would've died from embarrassment." You shook your head, letting out a sigh. "Guess I just thought he liked me too,"

"Well he's an idiot if he doesn't like you, you would've been an amazing girlfriend." Scott smiled at your laugh, staying quiet during the short walk. He held the door of the hotel open for you, following you to the elevators.

“You know, lowkey you can give Gyungmo a chance.”

The suggestion caught you off guard, making you look at Scott as the two of you stood in your spots, ignoring the elevator door as it opened. Scott only laughed a bit, pressing the button to keep the door open as he stepped inside. “I was just saying,”

“Scott, what does that even mean?”

You knew exactly what it meant, anyone hearing Scott would know what it meant. But still, you were caught off guard and now with this sudden news, you weren’t sure you were hearing things correctly.

“I mean, Gyungmo has a thing for you. Or had... I’m not sure anymore.” Scott pressed the button again as the doors closed, reaching for your wrist to pull you inside.

“He had a thing for me?” You ask, letting yourself get dragged into the elevator.

“Okay don’t make this weird for him, I wasn’t supposed to tell you,” Scott watched as you simply nodded, blinking a bit but still processing everything he said, only looking up when the doors opened on your floor.

“Is he still coming to drive me?” You asked, Scott now on his phone.

“Yeah, he said to just give him a heads up.”

You asked him to send Gyungmo the text, stepping inside your room and putting away the last bit of your things. Scott sat at the end of the bed, phone in hand as he scrolled through it, occasionally looking up to see if you needed any help.

With a groaned sigh, you plopped on the bed next to Scott, resting your head on his shoulder. You two stayed quiet, looking at everything ready to be taken to the car, Scott occasionally chuckling a bit at something he would see on his phone. At the sound of a knock, you let Scott open the door and let in Gyungmo and Cline. You held on to Gyungmo's sleeve, letting him stay back as Cline and Scott left with a suitcase, the two talking.

"Scott said something to me," You kept your eyes on Gyungmo as he furrowed his eyebrows, thinking on what Scott could've possibly said to you. "He said you have a thing for me?"

With a sigh and smile, Gyungmo shook his head, intertwining your fingers with his. "I had a thing for you, I mean, you're so cute in your videos and you're kind and a sweetheart in person. But I like you like this, being with me and gossiping about stupid shit,"

You couldn't help the smile on your face, getting shy and looking down a little. Gyungmo watched as you collected yourself, lightly slapping your cheeks to get rid of the blush that you knew was present before swinging your bag over your shoulder. Gyungmo stayed by your side, the two of you in comforting silence. "Thanks for being there for me all this time, I hope you know I'm going to be there for you if you ever need me,"

Everything was quiet until you made it outside, Scott and John laughing loudly as Cline was dancing weirdly. Gyungmo stood next to you, a smile on his face as he watched Cline before elbowing you lightly, motioning to your phone. You giggled as Cline exaggerated his dancing more, moving closer to you and the laughter got louder from all of them. Before Cline could exaggerate anymore, John gasped about the time and everyone scattered to put the luggage in Gyungmo's car, rushing you inside.

The airport buzzed with people traveling in and out, the place almost a blur with everyone. You checked in with Scott by your side, making sure you had all your documents before you made your way to security. A soft sigh later, you let Scott pull you into a hug, wrapping your arms around him tightly.

"Thank you for letting me do this, I promise you guys are going to love it," You pulled back to offer Scott a hug grin, getting one in return.

"We better, or you're coming back to film everything all over again," Scott joked, making you giggle.

You gave Cline and John a hug, looking over at Gyungmo and wrapping your arms around his neck. "Thanks for everything," You whispered, kissing his cheek softly as you pulled back. Gyungmo smiled, trying to hide his blushing. With one final wave, you fixed your bag, using your phone to record the guys once more before heading to your terminal.

Christian tried not to make it obvious as he walked up and down the halls of the building, looking for any sign of you. It had been two days and after you blocked him on Instagram, Christian had no idea what you were up to. He hadn't seen you in so long, and he didn't want to ask Scott seeing that as every time he tried to get some info, Scott just told him to text you.

Christian didn't bother to knock, just swinging the door open of Scott's studio to find him too close for comfort with a girl that wasn't you. She had a smile on her face, eyebrow raised as Scott leaned closer, only a breath away from kissing her. But the sudden door opened caused the two to look at Christian, his eyes wide in shock.

"Hey, what's up?" Scott turned to Christian who collected his thoughts before his blood boiled, teeth-gritting in anger.

"Are you fucking serious?" Christian erupted, Scott and the girl both startled from the sudden outburst. "Just because y/n isn't here you get to cheat on her?"

"What?" The girl glared at Scott, starting to push him away. "Who the hell is y/n?"

"Wait! What? No, hold up!" Christian moved aside as the girl furiously left, Scott trying to call her back before giving up, glaring at Christian. "Dude, what the fuck! You know how long I've been trying to get her to agree to go on a date-"

"What about y/n?" Christian yelled back, pushing Scott back.

"What about her? She's not even here!" Scott stumbled into the soundboard table, muttering a curse as his wrist got hit by the edge.

The outburst caught the attention of Gyungmo who rushed over, getting between both men. "What the hell is going on?"

"This asshole is practically fucking some girl in here just because y/n isn't here!" Christian tried to push Gyungmo away, trying to reach Scott but he moved farther away.

"What does she have anything to do with it?" Scott yelled back, gesturing around the room. "She's not here!"

"How the hell are you going to cheat on her like that!"

Scott stopped himself, blinking a bit before thinking about what Christian had just said. "Cheat on y/n? I'm not dating her, man."

Christian stopped trying to get past Gyungmo, furrowing his eyebrows. "Did you break up with her?"

"I wasn't dating her in the first place?" Scott grew even more confused, Gyungmo stepping away from Christian as he sat on a chair, sighing heavily.

"You really never noticed that it was Rome that she liked?" Cline's voice made the three turn to him, being caught off guard. Gyungmo was just as surprised at Cline's comment, the three staring at him. "Wait-"

"Did you think I didn't know?" Cline interrupted Gyungmo, head tilted in curiosity. "It was pretty obvious, I mean, I thought he liked her too but I guess not since Chaeyoung is in the picture." With a shrug, Cline dropped the subject, making everyone look at each other.

"Well, here I was thinking it was Hyuk..." Scott rubbed his cheek, pensive about everything that was said. "No wonder it didn't make sense."

"Wait... What?" Christian still couldn't get the whole picture, shaking his head. "She likes me?"

"She fucking fell in love with you, idiot." Gyungmo sighed, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. "Only you would think she and Scott are dating."

"Man, Hyuk was a better suspicion than me. He was practically all over her, especially during her goodbye party. " Scott sat on the edge of his soundboard, shaking his head.

"Goodbye party?" Christian repeated, looking at Scott.

"We texted you about it, we just thought you were being an asshole and didn't want to go," Cline spoke up, still standing right outside the room. "She went back home like two days ago,"

Christian groaned, rubbing his face and gripping his hair. "I fucked up..."

"You think?" Scott scoffed, rolling his eyes. But still, Scott watched as Christian beat himself over what happened. With a sigh, Scott stood up straight. "I can help you find her. So you can properly apologize for being such a fucking dick." Christian looked up at his friend, slightly nodding his head. With a glare and roll of his eyes, Scott pulled out his phone, going to an old video on your channel and showing it to Christian. "She always hangs around here. It's her favorite place."

Tag list: @derya-t // @mara-twins // @thefangirlsoul

#christian yu scenario #christian yu angst #christian yu fic #christian yu fluff #dpr ian scenario #dpr ian angst #dpr ian fic #dpr ian fluff #dpr scenario #dpr fluff #dpr angst #khh fluff #khh angst #khh scenario #khh #khiphop angst #khiphop fluff #khiphop fic #khiphop

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toongrrl-blog · 5 years ago

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The Mommy Myth: Mouthing Off to Dr. Spock (Part One)

American Motherhood in the 1970s was undergoing a real revolution: the country had a 9% unemployment rate, 15% inflation rate, 18%-20% mortgage rates, and President Ford wanted to whip inflation and the most rapidly growing segment of the workforce was mothers with preschool children (Hi Joan Holloway and Kevin, Hi Joyce Byers and Jonathon and Will). In 1970, 40% of married mothers worked and in 1984, 59% of married mothers worked. In 1970, only 24% of mothers with a child one year old or younger worked and in 1984 that jumped to 46.8% Black married mothers were more likely to be in the workforce than white counterparts (won’t be surprised if Mrs. Sinclair had worked outside the home in contrast to Karen) and single-parent households increased by 79% during the 1970s and 90% were headed by women.

Back then there were few daycare centers, no maternity leave (paid or unpaid), no flex time, no after-school programs, and not the Family Leave Act (mothers still call in sick to watch a sick child) and the VCR and microwave weren’t widely available.

“This generation of women, who are now approximately 50 years old and older, who raised kids in the 1970s and beyond--these are the ones who are great. It is because of them that companies even established daycare centers, that there are tax deductions for childcare expenses, that there is maternity and even paternity leave (however paltry), that there are now baby seats in supermarket carts. If you are one of these mothers, and your now grown children are even remotely functioning, stand up and take a bow.” The Mommy Myth (2004), Susan J. Douglas and Meredith Michaels

Media centering on motherhood, from women’s magazines to sitcoms, family films were all frozen in 1957. At the same time there was more research being performed on children and infants, to assist in advice columns for moms raising their kids in different circumstances than their parents raised them. But the columnists were often serving mom guilt and had stay in the kitchen attitudes and sitcom moms hardly got angry with their kids and were always soothing and gentle like Mrs. Brady and Mrs. Walton and unlike Flor.

youtube

Sitcoms were holding a smaller mom revolution: Maude Findlay (also a grandma), Florida Evans, Ann Romano (the OG One Day at a Time), and Alice Hyatt had feminist inspired barbs at their bratty kids, nosy neighbors, and men while advertisers came out with the supermom. Hollywood mostly focused on alienated young men like Dustin Hoffman and Jack Nicholson while movies targeting women mostly stayed stagnant.

One movie that focused on the misery of the mid-century housewife as she dealt with being economically dependent on her husband, mindless housework, how she was expected to put her needs and wants on the back burner, and of how men acted like they were so dumb. Diary of a Mad Housewife focused on Tina Balser, a Smith alumni who is married to a man named Richard, who manages to fuse together the worst traits of Ted Wheeler, Lonnie Byers, Pete Campbell, and Don Draper together. He’s an up-and-coming lawyer who preens and condescends and insists his wife cracks ice instead of serving it cubed and dictated Thanksgiving dinner (he doesn’t cook it though) and only wanted Danson Plum preserves on his toast and starts the film complaining about Tina being too skinny and her ability to do things the way he wants and dissed her ability to make a 4 minute egg to their bratty daughters (all the combined bratty traits of Nancy and Mike Wheeler and none of the intelligence, empathy, and passion that drives these characters).

The lesser known Barbra Striesand vehicle Up the Sandbox opens up with one mother telling another: “I’ve read all the child psych books. To be a good mother you gotta learn to eat shit” (few shit has changed it seems). Based on an novel by Anne Roiphe, the story focuses on Margaret a mother of two who loves her kids but wants to do more than stay home and is....pregnant again. She has wild fantasies that makes Doug Funnie look less...funny like debating with Fidel Castro about the status of women and having a love affair with him and blowing up the Statue of Liberty with Black militants or presumably confronting her husband’s secretary/co-worker if she’s having an affair with him. After they went to a party where busty young women fell over him because he was so interesting and he made a dismissive comment about a female Ph.D candidate who wanted to have one kid and go back to work, is where Margaret tells him off:

A woman like me works twice as hard, and for what? Stretch marks and varicose veins. You’ve got one job, I’ve got ninety-seven. Maybe I should be on the cover of Time---dust mop of the year, queen of the laundry room....(where she can’t live up to his colleagues or her mother) I’m a zero, a nothing” and when he said she can do more and be happy, she tells him off more “Did more? I sew. I squeegee. I spend hours waiting in line for a sale on baby sandals just to save a few pennies...I’m an errand boy, a cook, a dishwasher, a cockroach catcher, and you say I’d be happy if I did more.” Karen, spin that shit!

Women’s magazines had a new challenge: so you gave advice for decades about how moms can beat diaper rash, crochet covers for your toilet seats, and make a birthday cake in the shape of a character your kid liked but now there are sentiments challenging the conventions of marriage and parenthood, what do you do?

In 1973, Redbook magazine had a poll saying 9/10 respondents knew women earned less than men for the same work, 3/4 thought the media degraded women, a large majority believed women were second-class citizens, and 2/3 supported the Women’s Movement. Also more of them were working or joining the workforce, even with small children and more were divorcing and looking for childcare and to pay the bills and wanted a break. The shithead experts said no the latter.

Mom’s can’t be overprotective but protective enough.

You can’t be over-attentive in your kid’s lives but make them feel loved and always wonderful.

You need them to be independent, but always taken care of.

Can’t be too strict or permissive.

You need to be light-hearted.

Those were the rules many mothers of Gen Xers and Baby Boomers were under (and still the same now). Dr. Spock was singled out, he was the most influential of these experts with his famous book coming out in 1946 (the first year of the Baby Boom) and his advice dominated the magazines in the 1950s and 1960s. He dished out mom guilt for working outside the home or not weaning babies before they were one year olds and that leaving kids with a “mother substitute” would make them needy (so not even date night?). Also you had to be bonding with your kids properly (all while moms were dealing with doctors up against the natural childbirth movement) and even an hour may not be enough. Also normal women were sad when kids weaned themselves off the breast! Any misstep in your kids will fuck them up!

In Part Two, I will go over Bruno Bettelheim and the backlash against the Women’s Movement and the revolution in Motherhood.

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currantlee · 4 years ago

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German Postillon articles about the US Election translated

@theeeveetamer sent me this post in which someone translated German Postillon headlines about the US Election. Der Postillon is a German satire website disguised as a newspaper, kind of the German equivalent to The Onion.

So, I translated one of the articles for her and it was really, really fun. So I thought I might do more and share it on my blog so hopefully more people can have a laugh!

But first of all...

Gotta keep the American Spirit on this blog everyone!

Before I continue though: Please keep in mind that the Postillon is a satire website! None of the news in this post are actually true, it’s just meant to have a good laugh. I am repeating this again: none of these are actually real! I also want to make clear that none of those were written by me, I merely translated them! Credit to all the original texts and pictures goes to the Postillon. Except for the American flag. Credit to flickr for that one.

Anyways, let’s go and hopefully have some laughs.

Experts are certain that Donald Trump is going to win the Election because 2020 has been a shitty year so far anyways

Washington D.C. – Joe Biden hopes to put an end to Trump’s presidency after four years: he is clearly ahead in the polls on this Election Day. Despite that, most experts are sure that Trump will win – because so far, 2020 has been a shitty year anyways!

“If you look at the average of the national polls, Joe Biden is currently more than 8% ahead of Trump,” politic scientist Marianne Waters from the renowned Princeton University explains. “This means that his lead is way greater than Hillary Clinton’s in 2016. Under normal circumstances, you’d say that he’s already won the Election.”

She pauses for a second. “But now, please think about what a fucked up mess of a year 2020 has been so far! And then, think again about whether or not the American people are that fucked up in their brains to elect this human catastrophic failure for four more years! We’re talking about a year in which a global pandemic is going rampant across the planet anyways, we’re seeing islamistic and nazi terror attacks at the daily and entire havens are exploding ‘completely by accident’! Is there anybody who seriously believes in a sensible result of this election?!”

At least, scientists aren’t fully ruling out the possibility of Biden winning the Election. However, because this is 2020, the chance of an asteroid hitting the earth five minutes after this has happened is nothing but small.

– Der Postillon, 3rd of November 2020 (Original title: Experten sicher, dass Trump gewinnen wird, weil 2020 eh schon ein Scheißjahr ist). Translated by Seaberry Siren

“Oh Shit!” – Putin completely forgot to manipulate the US Election

Moskow – How can one be so scatterbrained! Wladimir Putin just realized to his very own horror that he completely forgot to manipulate the US Election. Now, his candidate Donald Trump is in trouble.

“Bljad! {T/N: Russian for “crap”} I knew I forgot something really important!”, Putin says. “But due to all the inner politics, the corona virus and all the other countries our hackers need to manipulate elections in, I totally forgot about the United States! This is just great!”

He turns to his assistant. “Dima! USA! Can we turn something around there? ... No? ... Really?! And if we deliver arms to the... How are those guys called again... Proud Boys? WHAT?! They already have enough of those?!? Oh well.”

However, in the end, Putin puts up with the situation after all: “Ah, we’ll see. Maybe everything will turn out fine one way or another.” He turns to his assistant again: “Dima, make an appointment with Donald Trump jr. as soon as possible! I heard he is is just as dumb as his father and has political ambitions as well. We’ll survive Biden until 2024.”

– Der Postillon, 4th of November 2020 (Original title: “Ach Kacke!” – Putin hat völlig vergessen, US-Wahlen zu manipulieren). Translated by Seaberry Siren with help from Theeeveetamer

Employees of the Oval Office try to stop Trump from tweeting “CIVIL WAR!!!! Kill all Democrats!”

Washington D.C. – While votes are still being counted all over the USA, dramatic scenes start to unfold in the White House. Currently multiple employees are trying to prevent President Donald Trump from grabbing his smartphone in order to tweet the words “CIVIL WAR!!!! Kill all Democrats!”.

“No Mr. President!”, an assistant shouts as she holds Trump’s arm. “Don’t do this! I have a family! I don’t want a civil war! Jack, restrain him, damnit! Anna, don’t stand there and stare so stupidly, help us! Ian, put his smartphone as far away as you can!”

In the meantime, countless citizens of the USA are wondering why Trump didn’t tweet anything for more than seven hours.

“Leave me alone!”, Trump cries as he desperately tries to reach his smartphone. “They want to steal my election by letting every vote count! Even those of the Democrats! I WANT TO SEE BLOOD!!!”

Meanwhile, outside of the White House, more and more people are speculating that Trump could accept a possible loss due to his silence on Twitter.

– Der Postillon, 4th of November 2020 (Original title: Mitarbeiter versuchen Trump davon abzuhalten, "CIVIL WAR!!!! Kill all Democrats!" zu twittern). Translated by Seaberry Siren

Not that as well! Half-Blind 100-year-old man who counts all the votes by his own dies of old age

Harrisburg – Oh no! Everything is going to take even longer now! James Reed, the 100-year-old man tasked with counting all the votes of the US Election surprisingly just died.

“Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea to task one man of his age with the counting of millions of votes,” the chief of the Electoral Office stated. “Unfortunately, he was the only one with a license for this important job.”

After the closing of the polling stations, Reed, who was responsible for counting the votes since the 1970s, traveled from state to state in order to count all the votes.

“He took his job very seriously. He’d often take 20 minutes in order to count a single vote,” an election assistant recalls as tears of gried run over her cheeks. “But just after he counted 92% of the votes at Michigan, he suddenly fell from his chair.”

The doctor who was called immediately could only confirm the death of the 100-year-old man.

The worst part is that Reed didn’t get to name a successor before his passing. This is why the authorities are desperately searching for a new person able to lift sheets of paper, read printed letters, ánd count one by one at the same time. Due to the American education system, this is going to be a challenge {T/N: Germans throwing a bit of shade here when their own education system isn’t something to be proud on either}.

– Der Postillon, 4th of November 2020 (Original title: Auch das noch! Halbblinder 100-Jähriger, der allein alle US-Stimmen auszählt, an Altersschwäche gestorben). Translated by Seaberry Siren

US Election: Trump lies way out in front

Washington D.C. – A good chunk of the votes of the US Election have been counted by now and there seems to be a trend: Donald Trump clearly lies way out in front! As expected, the President of the United States is taking the lead in the traditionally Republican states. But even in the Swing States, he already sees himself as the winner, even if it’s only with very little sanity.

“Trump clearly lies way out in front,” the politics expert Dean Jefferson affirms. “As in: he stands in front of an audience and lies their heads off!”

Many didn’t expect that Trump could lie way out in front this comfortably at this point of the cote count. Other less optimistic individuals had predicted a neck-and-airhead race {T/N: in German that’s Kopf-an-Hohlkopf-Rennen, literally head-on-airhead race} from the beginning.

– Der Postillon, 5th of November 2020 (Original title: US-Wahl: Trump lügt vorne). Translated by Seaberry Siren

Damned mess of a US Election STILL isn’t over!

Washington D.C. – FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!!! At some point, enough is enough, isn’t it? The damned mess of a US Election STILL isn’t over after three days of counting the votes because the people in some Federal States apparently can’t manage to count the ballots!

Seriously: can they even count at all? Didn’t they know that the voters like to turn their ballots in with a vote on them and that you have to count these votes in order to determine a winner?!?

An average election of the Federal Congress {T/N: they mean the German Federal Congress, also known as the Bundestag} is finished, predicted and decided one second after closing the polling stations {T/N: Yes, German elections are that boring}. An official end result is provided in the next morning at the latest! How in the world can the Americans be trundle as fuck like this?!?

Suggestion: we ignore the entire shitshow over there for the next few weeks until those idiots have punched their faces in and once the victor is clear, there is one short headline: “Winner of the US Election: [insert winner’s name here]”. Then this whole crap would... WHAT?? Biden takes the lead at Georgia by 900 votes? Wowowowow! Just a moment please, I’ll have a look at the livetracker. Did CNN already comment on this? Nate Silver already tweeted as well... This has to be it for Biden! Now it can’t take much longer!

OH MY GOD, HOW EXITING!!!

– Der Postillon, 6th of November 2020 (Original title: Verdammte Drecks-US-Wahl immer noch nicht zu Ende!). Translated by Seaberry Siren

“If I can’t have it, then nobody will!” – Trump sets the White House on fire

Washington D.C. – A victory of Joe Biden in the US election is becoming more and more likely. But the answer to the question whether the Democrat is really going to move into the White House could be decided by a completely different factor than the votes – because apparently, Donald Trump is trying to burn the White House down now.

“If I can't have it, then nobody will!”, the US President says as he spreads gasoline at strategic points while he starts laughing manically: “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Shortly after, the Oval Office is up in flames. “Let’s see how Sleepy Joe will rule from a burned-down ruin!”, Trump exclaims with a shrill voice as he adds more fuel to the fire. “AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Burn, my little fire, burn!”

Directly before publishing this article, Trump realized that this wasn’t the best idea as he cut off his own escape route with the last bits of the fuel. “Oh! So this wasn’t very clever... IVANKAAAAAAA!! The Democrats set me on fire! Rescue the best president of all time!!!”

– Der Postillon, 6th of November 2020 (Original title: “Wenn ich es nicht haben kann, soll es keiner haben! – Trump setzt Weißes Haus in Brand). Translated by Seaberry Siren

"Enough!” – The Queen reclaims the United States for the British Empire

London – She’s got enough of this nonsense! Queen Elizabeth II. announced the return of the United States to the British Empire. A new, freshly assigned gouverneur will arrive in Washington shortly and take over the government business.

“We have been watching this unworthy ham without doing anything for far too long,” the Queen declared in a fiery speech. “It is time to return the colony where it belongs: into the lap of the United Kingdom. The experiment is hereby ended.”

Shortly after, the British Navy occupied important havens at the East Coast. On friday afternoon, Baltimore, Boston, Philadelphia and Miami had already been seized.

Apparently months of the global pandemic, national economic instability and a tiring election campaign did the trick: a wide range of the US population greeted the British soldiers euphorically and vowed to be loyal to the British Crown. “Long live the Queen!”-chants echoed through the streets.

Washington D.C. is still in the hands of the rebels lead by Donald Trump. However, observers believe that the British troops will seize the capital next week. According to the Queen’s orders, Trump will be put into chains and brought to Great Britain by ship in order to spend the rest of his days in the Tower of London by water and bread.

– Der Postillon, 6th of November 2020 (Original title: “Jetzt reicht’s!” – Queen unterstellt USA wieder der Britischen Krone). Translated by Seaberry Siren

#Politics #Satire #Translation #US Election 2020 #USA #Donald Trump #Joe Biden #Wladimir Putin #Queen Elizabeth II.#German #German Humor #Humor #SeaSi translates

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thecousinsdangereux · 6 years ago

Note

bumbleby with this as a prompt: tatsuyamashiro(.)co(.)vu/post/183085155981/the-lock-jammed-on-the-front-door-of-my-shitty Yang is the drunk neighbour Blake is the one locked out

Campaigning is hell.

Blake had long ago accepted it as a necessary evil of enacting any sort of long-term change, but after too many days like this one, full of canvassing and idiots and bigots and disappointing poll numbers, she had perfected a three step process for coping. It involved a lengthy bath, a large glass of wine, and the longest stretch of sleep anyone on the planet has experienced through conventional means.

It probably went without saying that a jammed lock on the front door of her outrageously antiquated apartment building did not fit into that process. At all.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

She wiggles the handle, gently at first, but with increasing desperation, gripping it with two hands and letting out a stupidly loud grunt, when nothing happens.

“It’s broken.”

She doesn’t immediately recognize the voice, but when she turns, she does recognize the woman, and it’s a clear sign of Blake’s single-minded focus (bath, wine, sleep) that she hadn’t noticed her sitting on the corner of the stoop earlier.

Because honestly? Normally, Blake has a hard time not looking at her new neighbor (at her bright eyes and wide smile and wildly curling hair, at her often-bare arms and curving jaw and defined legs). She’s never had more than a few conversations with the woman and her roommate (Ruby, Blake vaguely recalls), but it’s not like it’s ever taken her much time to realize someone was her type to a level that was almost insulting.

“Yeah, I — I got that.”

The woman — Yang — grins, lazy and lopsided, and twists sideways on the steps, stretching a leg out in front of her and leaning back. Blake jerks her eyes away, desperate to find a focus point other than the lift of Yang’s tank top, and finds her eyes drawn to the large glass placed just to the side of the woman. It could be soda, but the garnishes on top makes Blake think otherwise.

“I probably should’ve said something earlier, but every time we see you in the hall, you’re like, super put together or whatever. So it was kinda funny to see you go all Incredible Hulk on the door like that.” This is followed by what Blake can only assume is Yang’s Hulk impression — it involves a lot of flexing and growling and is cuter than it has any right being.

Blake blinks. “Are you drunk?”

“Tipsy,” Yang corrects, leaning further back, propping herself up on her elbow. “And you’re cute.”

The unexpectedness of it makes her laugh, short and loud, and Yang grins again, pleased with herself. For a second, Blake imagines herself returning the compliment, but Yang speaks again before she can.

“I’m Yang,” she says.

“Blake.”

“I know. I remember.” She lets her head roll back, as though it’ll help her get a better look at Blake, still several steps above her. “Blake the activist. We’ve seen your posters and stickers and stuff. That’s cute too. Or — ” Yang’s lips twist. “Wait, that makes me sound like a condescending jackass. Um, that’s cool, I mean. Like, that you’re actually doing something about the stuff that pisses you off.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes it’s a lot like this door.” She turns back to it, wiggles the key around a little more.

“Broken as fuck?” Yang asks.

“Frustrating,” Blake corrects, feeling the corner of her lips quirk upwards in amusement. “But that too.”

“Well, that makes it even more badass, right? ‘Cause it sucks sometimes. Or a lot of the time. But you’re doing it anyways.”

The words have more impact than they should, maybe, coming from a girl she hardly knows, who’s drunk and sitting outside their busted apartment building, but Blake figures after the day she’s had, she deserves the surge of pleasure they bring.

“Um. Thanks, Yang.”

“I know what’s up,” she returns with a sage nod. “Full of wisdom, or something.”

Turning once more to look down the steps, Blake laughs. “Uh huh. So what’s all that wisdom telling you about this door? Any hints?”

Yang considers this, brow pinching, for a long moment.

“You should kick it.”

“Kick it.”

“Yeah. Try — try kicking it. Really hard.”

Blake stares at her. Yang, unblinking, stares back.

Well. It’s not like worse ideas didn’t exist.

Leaning forward onto one foot, Blake brings her knee in, twisting, and snaps it back, flat of her foot connecting with the door with a loud thud.

No effect. (Outside of a slight stinging sensation in her foot.) Of course.

She looks at Yang and shrugs, but Yang just continues to stare, perhaps a bit more wide-eyed than before.

“Oh, uh. That was — more torque. Than I expected. You’ve got a surprising — uh — torque to size ratio.”

Another surprised laugh. And, weirdly, a blush. “What?”

“Just, I mean, if I was that door, I would’ve opened like, out of respect for a kick like that.” Her smile returns. If Blake didn’t know better, she might call it a little lovestruck. “Damn, Blake, we should go to the gym together sometime. Or go anywhere. Sometime. ‘Cause this is fun, being stuck out here together, watching you kick down a door like some kind of SWAT Team Lady or whatever.”

“I — I didn’t kick it down,” Blake returns, unsure how else she can possibly respond.

Yang waves her hand, unconcerned. “Eh. Almost. But if that didn’t do it, nothing will.” She pats the stoop next to her. “Come on. I’ll share my rum and coke.”

“That’s… a very big rum and coke.”

“Which is why I can share.”

Blake pauses, but only for a moment. Yang slides her leg back around, sitting up and making room for Blake to sit down right next to her, which she does, closer than she means to. Or maybe that’s Yang, scooting towards her before she fully lowers herself down on the step.

Whatever the cause, the result is the same, and Blake can’t say she minds, not when Yang smiles at her, crooked and cute, and offers her drink. Taking a sip, Blake realizes it’s mostly rum, which checks out.

“So this is the plan? Sit and drink and wait for someone else to figure out the lock?”

“I mean.” Yang shrugs. “That’s what I was doing before you got here. And I was rewarded pretty well, I gotta say.”

“Yang,” Blake begins, amused. “The door’s still shut.”

“Well, yeah, but now I’ve got you for company. I’ll take that over getting back into the apartment any day.” She nudges Blake, shoulders brushing together, and takes her glass back, fingers sliding against either with the sort same effect.

(A jolt. It’s stupid, but Blake thinks she might feel a jolt.)

“I guess I can think of worse ways to spend a night.”

—

Ruby finds them a while later. By that time, Blake not only knows that Ruby is Yang’s sister, but also that her favorite color is red and she’s a mechanical engineering student and Yang loves her more than Blake’s ever seen anyone love anyone else ever, maybe. She also knows that Yang is hot and sweet and someone that Blake is definitely going to go somewhere with, sometime.

“Yang! I’m so sorry! Someone let Nora have a lighter and she started setting drinks on fire and then the fire alarm went off and Weiss got up on the bad chair to try to wave the smoke away and it tipped over and I had to catch her and we didn’t realize you were — ”

Ruby stops, hanging off the door she’d somehow finagled open, and stares down at them.

“ — Finally talking to the neighbor you’ve had a crush on since we moved in here,” Ruby finishes. “Okay! The door isn’t stuck any more so you can come up whenever you’re ready!”

She vanishes behind the door, only to reappear a second later.

“Nice to see you again, Blake!”

Blake waits, making sure she’s actually gone this time, before turning to Yang.

“A crush, huh?”

Yang doesn’t blush, and she doesn’t hesitate.

“Huge crush. Embarrassingly huge. Even my friends know.” That same grin returns, this time with a touch of earnestness, and Yang offers her hand. “Wanna meet them? And get dinner this Friday night?”

Blake takes it and stands, pulling Yang with her and wearing an earnest sort of smile of her own.

“Yes. And yes.”

—

Over the years, Blake had perfected a three step process for alleviating stress: a lengthy bath, a large glass of wine, and the longest stretch of sleep anyone on the planet has experienced through conventional means.

But after an hour outside with Yang, she thinks maybe she can narrow those three steps down to one.

(She looks forward to putting the theory to test.)

#Anonymous #this prompt was cute as helllll bless you anon #bumbleby #rwby #writing #prompt madness!

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Enough lowkey happened on that camping trip that this can be near the start of the holidays, like we already been knew but we're pretending still at this point that none of this is real okay lads, obviously they at the stage of pretending to be more life and soul than they actually are 'cos all the fakery so when she's in a mood and gone off it's more noticeable, you feel?] Jimmy: [that's a whole fat mood even if he doesn't actually find her with Harry he'd still be like UM hello] Janis: [I don't think she shoulda 100% come out with the intention of doing this but when she wanna (cos Jimmy, obvs, we know Harry is not that hot or charming really lol) can't it's like well this isn't real so I can't ask him so I wanna be with someone who I can for real, like it could be anyone but he's the obvious choice...apart from that, I think we can go] Jimmy: [100% agree it's not like a calculated bitch move and we know how messy they get at parties so] Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Yep Janis: fresh air Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: 🚽 Jimmy: Oi you're not 🤢 are you? Janis: Fuck off Janis: 'course I ain't Janis: only room with a lock Jimmy: what's up then? Janis: that song was so offensively shit Janis: can't hear myself think Jimmy: come outside Janis: why? Jimmy: I'll pick you a 🌹 obvs Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: a valid one Janis: if I've gotta act 😍 over that, how big the crowd I'm walking into is, etc Jimmy: it's quieter out here, dickhead Janis: idk, could run a bath and go under Jimmy: 💀💀💀 pact's for two Jimmy: can we both fit? Janis: the bath is suitably impressive Janis: no marble though so I'm disgusted, obvs Jimmy: won't somebody think of the blood splatter? 😒 Jimmy: let me in then Janis: What kind of proposition is that? Janis: Give me five minutes Jimmy: so high maintenance, you Janis: If you wanna be known as the kind of boyfriend who has to watch their girlfriend take a piss, be my guest Jimmy: who are you talking about my kinks to, girl? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: no need Janis: all 👀s on us at all times Jimmy: yeah and I look like a right dickhead Jimmy: hurry up, Janet Janis: go 🚬 Janis: I'll be there in a few Jimmy: love when you tell me what to do Jimmy: 😍😍🤤 Janis: I'll add it to the kink list to 📢 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when it's so awkward like hope there ain't an audience bye] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos standard but is looking at her like ??] Janis: [taking it and just smoking for a bit 'some nights, this is just more inconvenient than others, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['Nah, it's inconvenient every night, mate' shrugs but is clearly like what the fuck do you mean] Janis: [🙄 'obviously but-' shrugs but in a idk how to word this now kinda way '9/10 when we ain't putting on a show we can still do what we want, yeah?'] Jimmy: [nudges her like go on and taking a big drag while he works out what that means and then takes a hot sec to answer we all know why 'depends'] Janis: ['yeah, it's the depends, ain't it' nods like we're on the same page now 'the shit you wanna do but technically can't 'cos it jeopardizes the whole performance, even when you ain't'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like what even though he knows cos gonna make you say it always #thatbitch] Janis: [just the longest smoke break lmao 'like if we actually wanted to hook up with someone at this party, we can't'] Jimmy: Bathroom door's got a lock on it Jimmy: you said Janis: Obviously Janis: as if there's any chance of 'cheating' without every cunt seeing Janis: they seem thick but they're well up on all this gossip bullshit Jimmy: not with that 🥉 attitude Jimmy: 💕 conquers all, Jules, ain't you heard Janis: Now I'm an amatuer, yeah? Jimmy: do you need me to say it again using the 📢? Janis: how many lasses you had in there tonight then Jimmy: As many as I want Jimmy: [walks away rudely] Janis: alright Janis: message received Jimmy: is it? Janis: Nothing cryptic about it, really Jimmy: we don't need coded 🗨 Jimmy: save that for whoever's meeting you in the bathroom Janis: I doubt I'd be meeting anyone if I had to go to that length of espionage Jimmy: Oi 💀👑 would go to the ends of the earth for you, my dear Janis: 💀👑 can also manage a game of chess, so I hear Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: as romantic nights in go, you could do worse Janis: Romance would not be in his vocabulary, if he knew he had one Janis: thank fuck Jimmy: 💔 or 👍 Jimmy: Delete whichever one Janis: Doing someone else to make you jealous is a cliche too far, I reckon Jimmy: good job that ain't why then Jimmy: you can crack on Janis: Bill would be well let down Jimmy: I ain't got a balcony for him to haunt, it's alright Janis: 🤞 the lack of marble don't vex him then Jimmy: wouldn't be my first 👻🥊 if he really wants to get a mard on Janis: 👍 in a bit Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [later but not like hours obvs] Janis: you still about? Jimmy: weren't gonna just do one without telling you Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [in my head he's having a drink with some art hoe from his class cos saying they're chatting would be a stretch lol] Janis: 💕 Janis: [obvs like oh but recovery of coming over and having a swig of his drink like bonjour] Jimmy: [gives it to her so he has the excuse of going to get another one cos doesn't wanna talk to either of them rn] Janis: [oh the small talk you are not making, this girl, soz hun] Jimmy: [when you just in the kitchen like this takes longer than it does/you can't poss push through the peeps to get back] Janis: what's her story then Janis: why is she so 😪 Jimmy: Who is she? Janis: Got enough to 📢 about you Jimmy: and what? Janis: so stalker or you should at least be able to pull a name out your arse, like Jimmy: Why? I don't remember yours and you're my missus Janis: Hmm 😏 endearing quirk or a sign of early-onset dementia Jimmy: weren't that early 👴 me Janis: True Janis: be back in 🚼 'fore long Jimmy: if you've forgotten how old I am, might wanna get your own 🧠 checked, mate Jimmy: and yeah, your kinks are blatant, calm down Janis: I've been around enough actual babies to know I don't wanna pretend to look after one in my me time Jimmy: I ain't around you in your personal time Jimmy: let you off the 🕛 Janis: no one wants to fake hear about my adult baby kink, dickhead Jimmy: Dunno where I put my 📢 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: are you lost Janis: you've been ages Jimmy: now you miss me Janis: She wasn't much company Jimmy: I don't need to tell you, she ain't the only dickhead here Jimmy: or to crack on Janis: We'll have to be seen in the same room at some point Janis: or I'll just go home, like Jimmy: Off you go then Janis: yeah, 'cos I can just go Janis: you know how this works Jimmy: You ain't been caught out yet Jimmy: maybe the fans weren't as bothered as we reckoned Janis: 'cos I'm not an idiot Janis: which is what we'll both look if we have a weird domestic now Jimmy: you can leave that right out Jimmy: it's how I've looked for ages Janis: You said I could Jimmy: Piss off Janis: You did, you pretty much challenged me to do it Jimmy: Take the out Jimmy: I don't fucking need you here now Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: if I wanted an out, I'd do it Janis: that was the whole point of talking to you Janis: if you had a problem with it tonight you should've said so Jimmy: If you wanna go home, go home Janis: No, 'cos you want me to go home, I'm not going to Janis: and if you want an out, you'll have to fucking say that too Jimmy: I don't care, Janis Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Yeah, fine by me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [storms through this party to go smoke again because that's the mood he's in] Janis: [when you'll have to go break something somewhere 'cos it is not okay, thank God we don't care about whoever's house this is] Jimmy: [honestly there better not be anyone annoying outside cos he will smack you lads] Janis: [seriously I'm like flat whites don't be there we can't be having the levels of violent rn 'cos can't deal with emotions] Jimmy: [likewise thank god he ain't going home to Ian rn cos that'd be a brawl and a half nobody needs] Janis: [oh you two] Jimmy: [he is not drunk enough for this lol] Janis: [when you're so frustrated that was a blatant flop and now you can't leave but can't stay, fun poll] Janis: *lol rude Jimmy: [you had one job Harry ffs] Janis: [must assume he's left 'cos highkey and you'd have to sleep with him and not happening boy] Jimmy: [what do you think she did do before she was like ABORT MISSION] Janis: [it probably got to the usual point and it's like hmm still nothing so maybe she gave him head 'cos frustration honey but then was like good day] Jimmy: [I don't feel sorry for you sir but I do feel sorry for Jimothy because he'd be doing drinking games rn throwforward to their other domestic at that party remember cos only time he ever joins in with that kinda nonsense] Janis: [they're always so grim and you are gonna get so drunk boy, I truly dunno where you're gonna be, casually barricaded in some room you're trashing, like] Jimmy: [imagine some time has passed so he's drunker] Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Jimmy: you in the 🚽 again or what? Janis: no, I'm not Janis: all yours, mate Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: [sends her some flirty shit he's been sent meaning like I gotta hide but it comes across now like I'm gonna hit that #miscommunication ftw] Janis: There's that out you wanted Janis: good for you Jimmy: What? Janis: Don't what me like an idiot Jimmy: Don't be a twat like a twat Janis: Good one Janis: We'll pretend it'd be more scathing if you weren't pissed Janis: I said good for you, what more could I do to not be a twat? Jimmy: How about you pretend to have a word, you've only got the one job, rich girl Janis: What are you talking about? Jimmy: What did I just say? Janis: Why would I fake jealous of a girl you're gonna go fuck Jimmy: Why would you do owt to help me out? Fuck knows, tonight's obvs not the night for that Janis: You're making no sense right now Janis: and like fuck, this whole thing is about helping you out Jimmy: you Janis: me what Jimmy: You're making no sense Janis: This is stupid Janis: we ain't talking in circles Janis: you've got somewhere to be Jimmy: No I don't Janis: well, I'm not the one you need to let down gently then Jimmy: just Janis: I've already given her dirty looks Janis: ['cos you can't be in that room forever, like] Jimmy: [be extra like it's all for that girl's benefit okay boy] Janis: [when you're gonna respond like for like 'cos casual state you are in lawd] Jimmy: [have a MOMENT because god knows you're not gonna talk about any of this so obvs such a good idea to take your mood out this way instead of course] Janis: ['scuse the SHOW everyone but they can't get a room or the pretense is gone so] Jimmy: [also you all love it so] Janis: [ya perverts, lowkey start a softcore pornsite with all the footage y'all take] Jimmy: [honestly] Janis: [I get it, they're hot and this is low-key exhibitionism at this point 'cos frustrations] Jimmy: [when he's saying he missed her in between this intense sesh but is he saying it for the unnamed girl and the rest of the audience or because he actually wants to and has drunk enough 🤔] Jimmy: [because not saying it in a really extra fake way just genuinely like 'I missed you' bye] Janis: [excuse you, when neither she nor I is drunk enough to deal with that in a sensible manner] Jimmy: [it's fine we know they're not sensible rn or lowkey ever] Janis: [just gonna be saying his name like a reply, can't pretend you don't know his, babe] Jimmy: [nobody can pretend they don't know how into it he is, look away please art hoe gal] Janis: [there's some things you can't fake lads we know it] Jimmy: [especially when you're basically going as hard as you did on the school trip when you wanted Grace and Co to leave that room] Janis: [remember when, Grace does #triggered] Jimmy: [thank god we said she's not there cos this would be worse than that cos Janis is frustrated/angry af and he's angry/jealous af like imagine] Janis: [someone be shameless enough to stop them please 'cos we can't] Jimmy: [I know we've done the police before but have we done someone's parents rocking up? cos how shaming for this party thrower 🤞 it's not my boy Dan] Janis: [I don't think Dan is cool enough to throw a party at all, god bless and goodnight but yes a good idea, we shall do it] Jimmy: [when you have to go from 100000-0 cos nobody's gonna hear the parents key in the door over all that music and chaos so they just there like] Janis: [just running like lowkey what is happening but gotta go] Jimmy: [handholding for Winnie! at least until this boy has to stop cos can't run as fast or far as her] Janis: [don't vom that wouldn't be cute] Jimmy: [catch your breath and you'll be fine my beloved soft sir] Janis: [patting down his pockets like she's looking for an inhaler but obviously is looking for and gets out his pack of cigarettes like there you go, that'll sort you out 😏] Jimmy: [when he's gotta be so 😏 like steady on girl cos he's actually so 😳 and not just from running clearly, thank god for that 🚬 which we can all pretend suddenly needs the most intense concentration on earth like] Janis: [pushes him like shut up but is also 😳 so carrying on walking ahead so you can hide that and take a moment] Jimmy: [not even trying to catch up cos you also need a minute] Janis: are you going home? Jimmy: Are you? Janis: nah Janis: not when I can help it Jimmy: [shrugs like that's the most casual thing he's ever heard but looking at her like where are you going] Janis: [looking back and shrugging, continuing to walk on like let's see where I end up] Jimmy: [checking his phone to see if there are any other parties cos easter hols so obvs and showing her the options like do you fancy any of these] Janis: [a look like 'you wanna do more faking?' like you don't know oh girl and picking the party that's the closest to where they are right now] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I'll take free drinks over going home cos yeah that's the only reason okay] Janis: [nods like I hear that] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her like so come on] Janis: ['alright, alright' and walking needlessly fast 'cos minimal time alone is required] Jimmy: [when you automatically go to pull her back and then stop yourself cos no] Janis: [whether you notice that or nah, clearly pretending otherwise] Jimmy: [smoking and walking even if you have to light another one immediately idk how far this is and neither does he cos never knows where he is lol] Janis: [looking like 'aren't you gonna give me one?'] Jimmy: [looks back like not if you're 6 miles ahead of me but obvs does give her his and then lights a new one] Janis: [slowing down to take it but still keeping a pace ahead] Jimmy: [and he's just on his phone texting back and forth with Cass cos she's not asleep but should be but obvs he could be doing anything cos Janis don't know his life yet] Janis: [shamelessly like oh, take this time to think about your life and choices, babe] Jimmy: [let us take a moment to appreciate the state of them though like all the skin she's got on show and what he would've done to it, enjoy that in a sec Mia you nosy bitch] Janis: [gonna make her night truly, also he's probably feeling even more pissed 'cos cold air has hit him, like] Jimmy: [yeah that's always fun, thank god he didn't have time to get properly wasted cos Janis has enough catching up to do] Janis: [when you're low-key not even tipsy at this point 'cos the dramaaa] Jimmy: [Oh Jimothy you're clearly not serving as much of a look and you're too drunk, I'm disappointed in you] Janis: [we all know he looks good all the time it's rude] Jimmy: [get in this party and get her a drink boy but handholding cos coupleyness activated the second you're in] Jimmy: [I think he should share her drink because cute but also you don't need more rn and you know it but also he should put a song on he's worked out she likes so they can dance because remember when he thought a shit song started this lol] Janis: [make an entrance you two god bless so mad your mood about to get ruined lol] Jimmy: [omg can we say Harry is talking to Mia but bins her off for Janis when we need that to happen because funny and even funnier when they end up dating later] Janis: [ahh the levels of hate just going up every second, obvs needs to happen] Jimmy: [have your OTT dance moment first though like cos Mia cannot compete there even if she wanted to] Janis: [can't risk a collapse like] Jimmy: [literally how is she alive] Janis: [when he's probs shamelessly watching this but you don't notice 'cos 'course you don't] Jimmy: [he'd be so mad that this isn't a moment like soz jj are too busy having one] Janis: ['cos you think she's literally followed you here like oh God, hence she's gonna freak when she does actually see you're here like gotta go, maybe hit a bathroom again but drag Jimmy with you] Jimmy: [boy you wish she'd follow you anywhere bye] Jimmy: [meanwhile Jimmy just sitting in a bathtub like ?] Janis: [washing me and my clothes bitch, but seriously, just breathing so shallow like full freak out] Jimmy: [can't not notice so literally but very gently pulling her into the tub with him like sit down] Janis: [reluctantly getting in 'cos you're not ready to walk back through to get out even so may as well, leaning back and sighing like well] Jimmy: [taking off her jacket for her not in a saucy way cos that actually might help her feel better you think] Janis: [just rubbing at your now bare arms and straightening up your posture literally pulling yourself together like] Jimmy: [just giving her time cos not that dickhead who's gonna be like WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU TELL ME RN] Janis: ['I fucked up'] Jimmy: [looking at her like elaborate please, but in your own time cos still not that dickhead] Janis: [a look like I truly do not want to do that please lol 'there's someone here I don't wanna see, like more than all the other people I don't wanna see, like'] Jimmy: [nodding like okay that's all I need to hear, getting up like let's go as if they haven't just got there and peeps won't be like ?? or anything because he's not thinking about the fake just the real of what she just said even though it hasn't clicked with him that this could be anything to do with earlier because why would she not wanna see that person as far as he's concerned and putting a hand out to help her up and out too which he so doesn't need to do we see you boy] Janis: [is shaking her head like no wait then makes a 😒 face at herself 'cos does not wanna be this contrary bitch or this bitch freaking out ever but like, it's happened now so- 'we shouldn't go, I already fucked up earlier, we should make the most of that lot being here' 'cos obviously Mia also made herself #seen 'cos when doesn't she lol] Jimmy: [when you touch her 😒 face unthinkingly and softly which shakes you to your core because get control of yourself boy so you make a big show of checking yourself in the mirror for an age like okay I'm ready] Janis: [when you fuck up his hair 'cos a. just that bitch and b. you're meant to be getting it on in here so don't be looking all put together 'amateur' but with feeling] Jimmy: [returning the favour because 1. oi and 2. her hair would be a MESS if you had and everyone knows that and tying her jacket around his waist so he can carry it for her without having to and it's like that thing when boys wear girls scrunchies on their wrists and girls lose their minds] Janis: [raises a brow like what are you doing at first but then nods like touche, as much as you've just said you should make a show for the flat whites, when Mia is talking to Harry again you gotta be like, let's get another drink first ty, hopefully some of the others are in the kitchen] Jimmy: [when you're about to question it by typing cos would never out loud obvs cos you can clearly see 💀👑 but yeah then there are others in the kitchen so you go with that] Janis: [#dutchcourage, least you can be cute/in everyone's way by getting on the counter and just casually wrapping your long ass legs 'round him to 😍] Jimmy: [just gently kissing all those lovebites you made at party 1 making a big show of how sorry you are for each one like thanks for all the bare skin I can use to put on a show yet again bitch] Janis: [truly out here in a bra lmao the confidence] Jimmy: [we're all jealous as hell that she can and looks amazing doing it, especially the flat whites] Janis: [Asia like he wanted me first though lol] Jimmy: [oh girl you wish] Jimmy: [we should have him come into the kitchen to get drinks for him and Mia which she can't be fuming about even though we all know his real motives] Janis: [ugh the level of smug, knowing looks that just make her wanna die, leaning into Jimmy's ear and cupping her hand like she's whispering something saucy to him but is literally just hiding like go away] Jimmy: [when he whispers back but uses the opportunity to ask her if she's alright because not an idiot] Janis: [nods 'I just missed you too' when you say it loud enough it could be for the benefit of the audience but is it or nah, we'll never know] Jimmy: [when now isn't the time or place to push her on what's actually wrong so you just go harder instead which equally begs the question are you trying to distract her/make her feel better or is it for the audience] Janis: [just do the most 'til he says something or goes away kids, speaking of, kinda torn between him not saying anything because he thinks it'll happen again ('cos like it has been repeats thus far so fair) so he's just kinda like smug but not gonna outright be saying something dead obvious to Jimothy to start shit...or getting him that drunk that he does, 'cos we could do it when they're outside smoking or something so the whole party don't actually hear for once? idk] Jimmy: [I like that idea like he doesn't say anything here and now so she's like thank fuck I might have actually gotten away with this but then later when he's drunk he could be like about to go and wants her to go with him or whatever] Jimmy: [I also like the possibility that he could say something to Mia at any point #mildperil] Janis: [that's a good idea, bide your time, dickhead] Janis: [also we know she's snekky so instead of being like um why do you keep looking at her and being salty she can probably get something out of him, she's smart and he ain't really so] Jimmy: [yeah that's what I thought and she'd love knowing that Janis 'cheated' this early on for JJ so] Janis: [exactly, hence she can nudge Harry into making that post after the basketball match drama] Jimmy: [OMG yeah I never even thought of that] Janis: [masterminding] Jimmy: [ironically Harry getting with Mia cos she doesn't play games which he thinks Janis is rn] Janis: [lmao good luck with that you already being played now and you got no clue] Jimmy: [I almost feel sorry for him but he didn't need to post those nudes so I don't] Janis: [mhmm honey] Jimmy: [live your best life at this party til later though JJ my babes] Janis: [hells yeah] Jimmy: [it hurts my heart cos they'd both relax thinking shit's okay now and be actually having a good time, fuck you Harold] Janis: [he probably thinks whomever it was has gone, like] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and like not gonna think about it too hard cos her mood has clearly changed and that's the important thing] Janis: [is there anything we wanna do specifically or, how we doing this?] Jimmy: [I think we can probably just skip to when Harry fucks things up because we know the vibe but yeah how do we wanna do that like maybe we can just plot out how it would have gone and see from there cos like she might run away or Jimmy might smack him we don't know lol] Jimmy: [like what do you think he should say/do?] Janis: [Hmm, like you said maybe he comes over and is like okay come back with me though, like enough 'games' now and is ignoring Jimmy so obvs he's like excuse you piss off then when Janis is also like fuck off no so then he's salty and says something when he's walking away like 'tell me how my dick tastes' 'cos he would] Jimmy: [well that's lovely thank you Harry, you're so getting smacked now boy cos his ex was a hoe and he doesn't need to be triggered like that] Janis: [when the worst you were expecting happened and a hoe gotta go] Jimmy: [clearly should try and follow her because how's that gonna look if she leaves without him but doesn't because literally doesn't care about any of that in the moment obvs] Janis: [we're not keeping up the act rn, hopefully there were minimal people about and we can just call Harry a liar later like he's not a trustworthy bitch peeps be known] Jimmy: [yeah I doubt there were many people outside and they'd all be drunk af whoever were and like you said he's not coming through with proof but I hope Janis ain't going to mcvickers gaff cos if Jimothy is going home they'd have to go the same way lol] Janis: [lol imagine, I'll make her run off in a different direction don't worry] Jimmy: [poor bitch she doesn't need the awkward walk of shame] Janis: [she know some places, go work out that aggression again, not that you can but you know] Jimmy: [mhmmm god only knows what Jimothy is gonna do when he gets home cos you can't just casually go to sleep like this is fine] Janis: [I'm like what are you gonna do, what are you gonna say, oh girl] Jimmy: [and how long are you gonna leave it to have the convo too like] Janis: [right, when you wanna do it now to say it, but then you're like, he's not gonna wanna and you're scared too but you don't wanna leave it too long, gay] Janis: [gaaaaaaaaaay 🙄 GAH grammarly GAH ] Jimmy: [he's gonna have to act like he's so not bothered cos it's such early days I'm gonna die] Janis: [okay, I'm gonna say next morning, torture yourself, and inadvertently him, all night] Jimmy: [yassss] Janis: Hey Jimmy: Morning Janis: You alright? Janis: sorry about that idiot last night Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: If you're gonna apologise for every dickhead from last night, do it in a bit, I'm short on time Janis: I won't take on accountability for every cunt, like Janis: just that one Jimmy: Alright Janis: Yeah Janis: you at work? Jimmy: Nah Janis: Oh, alright Janis: well, my bad then Jimmy: I'm in later if you wanna erase your guilt using the tip jar Jimmy: might have another fight in me if it's for 💰💰💰 Janis: Come on Jimmy: what? Janis: Don't take the piss, like Janis: I'm trying to say sorry properly Janis: it was fucking embarrassing Jimmy: he's 💔 give it him Janis: He's an idiot Jimmy: who here ain't? Jimmy: yet to meet 'em, me Janis: Best of luck on that score Jimmy: Tah Janis: I appreciate you punching him regardless Jimmy: it weren't for you Janis: Obviously Janis: still Janis: and he chats shit all the time so, no one will care to remember if they heard anything Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Hopefully they're all too hungover to show their faces in CG today 🤞 Jimmy: 💀👑 don't get hangovers Jimmy: she'd have to swallow Janis: Do spirits have calories 🤔 Janis: oh 👻 Jimmy: give her a bell, you'll have your answer Janis: I'm not feeling that guilty Janis: no need to punish myself like that Jimmy: I get it, you're a fake catholic an' all Jimmy: nowt's real with you Janis: Bit harsh Jimmy: is it? Janis: Yeah Janis: we don't know each other like that Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔🎻💔 Janis: Don't be a dick about it Jimmy: we don't know each other like that Jimmy: I ain't gonna be nice to you, Jill Janis: Alright Janis: well I've said what I need to say so that's that then Jimmy: In a bit then Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: yeah right Jimmy: [posts something extra like mhmm yeah right] Janis: [as extra a response like this convo isn't even going this badly rn] Jimmy: [being even more extra back like gotta remind her how fake this is and how much you don't care] Janis: [oh lads, just a back and forth] Jimmy: [for ages like is anyone but Mia THIS invested] Janis: [the answer is no[ Jimmy: [but like it's also shade on his part cos it's like him saying we've done this so now I don't have to see you today, job done] Janis: [we know it and she knows it honey] Jimmy: [and we know the flirty undertone that's real af isn't there that usually is, they are so phoning this in rn] Janis: [this is so sad tbh] Jimmy: [what if they run into each other somewhere that they don't expect to idk where but like they can't pretend they haven't seen each other cos other people have seen them but like it's not a party so can't be that OTT] Janis: [where could it be hmm] Jimmy: [like it could be something he's taking either of his siblings to even but then why is Janis there 🤔] Janis: [tis the issue, unless we go for the park, like we always do but it's real, and if we make it a nice day, teens would be hanging to peep 'em] Jimmy: [oh true] Janis: [I can't think of anywhere else they'd both be and other people to see, 'cos I was thinking we could steal when Ellie was doing the family shop 'cos Janis could do it too for something to do but idk if any other teens would really be there to the level you'd be like 'we must go 'round this shop together' maybe when they're more 😍 again though] Jimmy: [yeah unless like someone worked there and clocked them but even then a bit of a flimsy excuse probably] Janis: ['cos I doubt any of the flat whites are working in a supermarket so yeah] Jimmy: [exactly and my other thought was maybe it was the pool or like a sports thing but Janis already did the school trip for extra credit so I doubt she'd have to do anything else] Janis: [unless she is just there working out 'cos said about being underwater and not able to hear shit so good throwback] Jimmy: [OOOH] Janis: [also the levels of awks like oh hi we're all just here in our swimsuits lollll we're mean but it makes sense, especially if there's like a kid's holiday deal or some shit you know the vibe] Jimmy: [I'm just imagining in angus thongs when her tan 😂] Janis: [thank god you ain't that hoe lmao] Jimmy: [if Asia is there though lol she is] Jimmy: [she could totally have a little sister and be there like] Janis: [just swimming like a mum] Jimmy: [sending Mia JJ updates with her waterproof phone cos that bitch don't swim so she ain't gonna be there] Janis: [when you just want the ground to swallow you up and you're just saying and looking like I am SO sorry whenever you can 'cos you can't just leave] Jimmy: [casually regretting giving her all those lovebites last night now cos that's all you can see and it's not helping you pretend to be unbothered haha] Jimmy: [thank god 😒 is his default expression] Janis: [up in this pool like a woman shamed in so many ways lol, at least the kids are there for some distraction] Jimmy: [we know Bobby is a shy clingy lad so that'd take a lot of his focus and save us all from dying even more than we are, Cass just trying to drown him cos she's mad he stayed out for ages last night too probably]] Janis: [and you're a #seriousathlete so you can go do some laps without Asia clocking anything God bless] Jimmy: [I really hope the Cass and Jimmy playfight splashes Asia and she gets her hair wet] Janis: [the least she deserves for enabling this awkward rn] Jimmy: [imagine how annoying her little sister would be, stay away from her Bobert you are too sweet] Janis: [fucking little Europe or some shit Jimmy: [We should do China or America cos both on this list I just found] Janis: [ew hate/love that] Jimmy: [maybe there's two of them oh lord] Janis: [Grace be so jelly] Jimmy: [not making them twins though cos she would die] Janis: [forever triggered lol] Jimmy: [I'm thinking one around Bobby's age and then one older but still younger than Cass like] Janis: [sounds legit to me, should we skip forward or try to do this a bit and see what happens, idm] Jimmy: [at least if there's two of them she'd be busy herself so she can't stalk them as hard, I say why not try and see what happens] Janis: [so obviously we wanna do races, who can hold their breath longest, handstands, whatever other tricks you can do in a pool] Jimmy: [Cass throwing her key on the bottom to swim for it, Jimmy like no bitch cos she always loses em and he'd have to get so many cut without encouraging that behaviour] Janis: [gotta lay down the law with a child just attached to you lol God bless] Jimmy: [how awks because this is so early on so like they know nothing about each other's lives and Cass has probably instantly decided she hates Janis and Bobby is like 👀 deer in headlights] Janis: [we're all dying lol like Asia please leave] Jimmy: [Jimmy like neither of you say anything about our missing maybe dead mum or dickhead father please while trying not to betray how he feels about this fake dating/ Harry situation...so chill] Janis: [the stress good lord] Jimmy: [thank god he does have work later I said so he can use that as excuse to leave sooner than he actually needs] Janis: [Asia probably gon follow] Jimmy: [ugh true so then he has to ask Janis if she wants to come so she can hear because 😍 obvs] Janis: [at least she'll have the sense to make up an excuse 'cos we don't need to prolong this casual torture lol] Jimmy: [and at least he has his sibs there so the 'goodbye' doesn't have to be extra af] Janis: [at least we're buying ourselves more fake dating time here 'cos the awks and anger] Jimmy: [I'm proud of us but I'm sorry lads before he goes you've gotta have hot chocolate like I always did after swimming I don't make the law] Janis: [my boo insists, also the kids obvs, like he doesn't work in a cafe and you could swing by there, no no] Jimmy: [yeah fuck your pretentious latte art bitch] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: the ☕️? Janis: not bad but don't reckon they'll replace you with a 🤖 quite yet Jimmy: 💧 on my apron Janis: no doubt help with the 💸💸 tips Jimmy: they'd be more 😍 for 💦 or ☔ Janis: too nice a day for the latter Jimmy: [shrugs cos it's april so could happen] Janis: shouldn't have dried your hair Janis: very music video Jimmy: [when you're amused but you have to hide it so you get your phone out for selfies like she gave you the idea cos tbh not trying to get put on a register by taking 📷 in the pool] Janis: [🙄 but 😏] Jimmy: [casual selfie sesh and then busying yourself putting them up like] Janis: never off the clock, eh Jimmy: two jobs'll do that Janis: wouldn't know Jimmy: bit rude to rub it in, rich girl Jimmy: this ain't a 🎻 sorta place Janis: just the kinda rich girl I am Jimmy: You're alright, I'll keep the 🔪 in my back out of shot, know enough 📷 angles, me Janis: it's really bad manners to bleed everywhere, you know Jimmy: I know how to clean up after myself, that'll be the kinda poor boy I am Janis: 🚫🎻 Janis: you said Jimmy: I weren't saying it to 💔 you Jimmy: not my job Janis: just saying, follow your own rules Jimmy: make me 😘 Janis: not really got room to lecture there Jimmy: room for nowt 🦒 Jimmy: 🚫🎻 Janis: don't be short about it Janis: you're almost entirely in the right, you may as well take it Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: almost Jimmy: I've done nowt wrong 😇 me Janis: Nah Janis: you told me to do it Jimmy: convenient that Janis: is it? Janis: doubt that Jimmy: for you Janis: Yeah, clearly Jimmy: dry your eyes, mate Jimmy: were obvs such a good idea at the time Janis: You only set all this bullshit up for failure, not me Jimmy: how did I? Janis: You literally said it was fine Janis: I was the one saying it'd probably fuck it up Janis: I did it and I've tried to make it up but you don't care and you're offering no solutions so fuck it Jimmy: we don't need owt 'cause nobody knows owt and even if he says owt it'll sound like bollocks Jimmy: sort your head out Janis: yeah 'cos it's ideal for you to have to punch out lads all the time Jimmy: might be Jimmy: might make my dad proud of me Jimmy: a scrap might just be a laugh Janis: you want me to say you're welcome then Janis: alright, that's that then Jimmy: want you to carry round a 🪥 next time you fancy cracking on with dickheads like that Jimmy: but alright Janis: cheers Janis: you give great advice Jimmy: might do, if we were mates Janis: well we obviously aren't Jimmy: 😮😮😮 Janis: whatever Janis: [making these awkward goodbyes] Jimmy: [when you don't want her to go even though this is awful] Janis: [when you cannot take any more though] Jimmy: [pulling her back like he wanted to last night but couldn't cos he can pretend it's so fake lol lol lol] Janis: [when you're like 'what?' all light and jokey for the fake but then you look at him like actually though] Jimmy: [boy quick tell your face, Daniel will be livid, that you're giving yourself away like this] Janis: [just in a stare-off rn] Jimmy: [leaning in like he's gonna kiss her but obvs can't cos too real rn so he's like 'stop being a dickhead' in a whisper like that's what he was gonna do all along] Janis: [when you're actually like stunned lmao 'great advice as always, Taylor' under your breath and then a faker 'see you later' moment for the rest] Jimmy: [😏 because annoying her is easier and safer as is blowing her a kiss like bye babe] Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you're so irritating Janis: please don't need me for another 3-5 working days yeah Jimmy: I gave you an out, girl Jimmy: It ain't my fault that lad's 🏆 an' all Janis: I knew he was a dickhead before I did it Janis: not 💔 Jimmy: massively your type every 3-5 working days Janis: you reckon, do you Jimmy: you just said Janis: I didn't Janis: I said I knew he was one, not that I was about it Jimmy: if you weren't about it you wouldn't have done it Jimmy: unless you're not about this, and if that's it, take your out Janis: 'cos those are the only two possibilities Janis: I'm 😍 or sick of this and ain't got the balls to say it Janis: well it's neither, tah Jimmy: I never said you were 😍 Janis: alright, my type, whatever, it's the same thing Jimmy: if you wanna get with lads then you obvs ain't gay so we don't need to do this anymore, that's what I'm saying Jimmy: he'd have been happy enough to brag about how straight you are Jimmy: next time take a 📷 and you're 👍 Janis: you really think that thought had never occurred to me prior to this? Janis: if I wanted that, I would've done it ages ago Janis: not my first time, whatever popular opinion dictates Jimmy: weren't gonna chuck you a penny for 'em, my dear Jimmy: If I wanted to wait around at some shit party while another lad sorts out the lass I'm with, I'd have my ex back Jimmy: not my first time at that Janis: all you had to do was say no Janis: not even, just agree with what I was saying Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: tell yourself no, I'm not your fucking conscience Janis: conscience has got nothing to do with it Janis: obviously it'd be wrong if we were actually together Janis: but it's fake so it's just a matter of logistics and if you say you don't care then that's what I'm going on Jimmy: I've got nowt to do with it Janis: Jesus, yes you do, this is a deal between me and you Jimmy: that you were acting put upon about all night so yeah it were fine, to get you to stop marding for 5 seconds Janis: so now it's your turn? Janis: that's a mature way to deal with shit Jimmy: I'd have legged it but you beat me to that, Janet Janis: 'cos you were well in a talking mood Jimmy: I took that hint from you ages before, that'll be why Janis: I tried Janis: this is some bullshit Janis: I tried before, and after, and both times it was all good except it clearly fucking ain't Jimmy: how about you try not to put me in the path of lads you wanna fuck? or have or will do Janis: It weren't even Janis: fine Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: It weren't even what, that you couldn't have called me after you were done? Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: No Janis: I didn't think of it from that perspective, alright, that's fair Janis: this shit is a headfuck Janis: it's not like there are rules, that I've done this loads, enough to navigate it perfectly Jimmy: the only rule is that we don't mess each other about Jimmy: helping each other out is the whole point Janis: Yeah Janis: I seriously didn't think it would, believe that or not Janis: he hasn't bragged about it before but lesson learned Jimmy: I weren't here to mug off before Janis: No Janis: well, like we said, no one's gonna listen to him so as far as damage control goes Jimmy: I heard you the first hundred times you told me that Jimmy: there's no damage control for all the 🕧 waiting around for you in different parts of that massive house Janis: then tell me what I can do Jimmy: if we ain't gonna be in the same room for longer than 10 mins don't bother to invite me Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Janis: I'm not going to do that again, not that you asked but Jimmy: He'd have you back, I never hit him that hard Janis: shut up Jimmy: Alright don't, you can do better Janis: we can all see what he is Jimmy: I weren't giving him 😍 soz to piss on that threesome you had your 🤞 for Janis: 🤢 Janis: stop Jimmy: you can give it all that after you let me be all over you when you were all over that dickhead? Top one Jimmy: if any dickhead's 🤢🤢 it's me Janis: it were complicated Janis: yeah, we should've left Janis: I just Jimmy: weren't trying to have a chat then were you? Jimmy: not a word Janis: so that was selfish Janis: never said I weren't Jimmy: just Janis: I'm sorry Janis: I should've gone when you offered Janis: I wanted the night to be worth it somehow though Jimmy: What does that mean? Janis: Like you said, we'd barely been in the same room so Janis: would've been a wasted night if we left then Jimmy: I'd take a wasted night night over a weird one Janis: Yeah Janis: it made sense at the time Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't emoji at me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I dunno but I was close to absolving some guilt Janis: bit rude Jimmy: save it for confession, babe Jimmy: I'm in black but that's where the similarity ends Janis: I've never been Jimmy: first time's the charm, Nah? Or is that the third? Jimmy: I dunno 😴 Janis: Cheers Janis: I really have to ask for eternal forgiveness before you're gonna bother Jimmy: If you were my real girlfriend, ain't getting The Lord involved for owt less Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: sorry your ex was a bitch too Jimmy: leave it out Janis: just saying Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: it ain't your problem and she ain't been mine for ages either Janis: okay Janis: still Janis: shit Jimmy: shut up Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: Doubt that Janis: Oh now I talk too much Janis: convenient Jimmy: yeah well chatty, you Jimmy: never know when to stop Janis: yeah well Janis: one of us has to keep the conversation going Jimmy: so #goals girl Janis: Obviously Janis: I feel like my fucking sister right about now Jimmy: Has she been with him an' all? Jimmy: taking the #twinning a bit far there, mate Janis: I hope not Janis: I dunno why you'd make me think of that Janis: I just meant general slagginess and regret Jimmy: I reckon you'd know, hardly the type to keep that to himself Jimmy: Why do you regret it? You said you knew he were a massive twat Janis: I don't know Janis: 'cos he's made me look stupid Jimmy: Only in front of me and I knew you were an idiot 😏 Janis: Thanks Janis: very supportive Jimmy: Do you want me to belt him again? Janis: Only if you feel like it Janis: but it ain't really about him Jimmy: not what I asked, 'cause nah, it ain't about him Janis: No Janis: If you never have to think about him again, that's best for me Jimmy: That all I can do you for, Jules? Jimmy: you don't fancy an overpriced latte or owt, I get that Jimmy: 🌹? Janis: Am I that demanding? Jimmy: Do you want a fake answer there or what? Janis: Cheek Janis: and after you dared to offer me a latte as well Jimmy: I never Janis: Hmm Janis: likely story Jimmy: what's tonight's? Jimmy: we in or out? Janis: I reckon we've done enough to earn a night off Jimmy: Alright Janis: don't you Jimmy: I asked you Janis: Yeah, and I asked you back Jimmy: and I said alright Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Try not to kill yourself at work today Jimmy: And be stuck haunting the CG, you're alright Janis: and you ain't allowed without me Janis: more importantly Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: You're the only one I wanna haunt, baby Janis: Yeah, I better be Jimmy: You are Jimmy: 💔 as Asia is about it Janis: she's lucky I didn't drown her Jimmy: If you really loved me, you would Janis: always coming out with this after the fact, aren't you Jimmy: What's more #goals than murdering a love rival? Jimmy: if you dunno that, Jasmine, I dunno what we're even doing here Janis: Rival is a stretch Janis: if you reckon that then you only gotta ask her Jimmy: Calm it down, bighead Jimmy: The DM asking her to attach ankle weights in the deep end has already been sent Janis: gonna be 😭 over her cankles forever now Jimmy: I were 😭😭😭 first Janis: you mean you didn't just have chlorine in your eyes? Janis: awkward Jimmy: it were already awkward Jimmy: leave my 👀 out of it, tah Janis: but they're so dreamy Jimmy: Send tweet Janis: 😏 Janis: working overtime for you, boy Jimmy: I asked you what you wanted, you never answered, girl Janis: I don't know the menu Jimmy: I have to do everything, I see how it is Janis: You wanted demanding, babe Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Stop flirting with me for 1 second so I can make you a drink! Janis: Bet that's what you say to all the customers Jimmy: Depends Janis: if you like it or nah, sure Jimmy: Nah, what I like is nowt to do with it Janis: Tips? Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: that's kinda fucked, you stop and think about it Jimmy: I don't get long enough breaks to stop and think Janis: Poor baby Janis: I've got all the time in the world to ponder for you Jimmy: just keep rubbing it in, you Janis: 😂 Janis: you know you'd hate it if I weren't a rich girl Jimmy: You ain't paying me nowt last I checked Janis: you'd have nothing to take the piss out of me for if I weren't Janis: worth it's weight in gold, surely Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Bollocks would I not Janis: Bollocks would you Janis: I'm 🥇 Jimmy: You're 🥈 Janis: Psh, fuck you Jimmy: And you're only that 'cause my 🥇 makes you look good Janis: Oh please Janis: you must've bumped your head 'cos you sound downright delusional now Jimmy: Beg all you like you ain't having the 🏆 til you pry it out of my 💀💀💀 hands Janis: Me? Beg? You? Janis: now you're hearing things Jimmy: I can barely read and I still saw that please, girl Jimmy: Felt it an' all Janis: shut up Janis: I was asking the LORD to give you some sense, that's all Jimmy: Convenient that Jimmy: Getting him involved again Janis: I'm a good friend and a good Christian 😇 Jimmy: You ain't either, unless you were chatting shit earlier Janis: Who knows Jimmy: He gonna deliver this drink to you on a ☁ or what? Janis: If only Janis: not a service you provide either, I suppose? Jimmy: I could do Janis: Impressive Janis: if dubious Jimmy: Depends where you want it Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: I'll come get it, not that much of an arsehole, usually Jimmy: You're still not having 🥇 Janis: not even if I say please AND thank you? Jimmy: Go on Jimmy: I'll see how I feel Janis: 🔮 so mysterious Jimmy: Old news that Jimmy: And not what I'm waiting to hear off you Janis: You'll be old news, soon 🤞 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: that's the whole point, yeah Janis: or do I accuse you of being closeted too Jimmy: can do Janis: I'm bigger and better than that 🥇😇 Jimmy: 👏 Janis: you thought I was gay too then Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: Nowt to tell Jimmy: I don't know you Janis: Neither does anyone else who's reached the conclusion Janis: it's not personal Jimmy: Alright, I don't think about you as much as they do Janis: 🙄 Janis: they don't think that much period Janis: but my sexual history ain't playground knowledge so obviously Jimmy: Who started it? Janis: I dunno Janis: you know how it is, only one person needs to say it once Janis: pack mentality bullshit Jimmy: It'll be a lad you didn't wanna get with or a lass who's fuming you're fitter than her Janis: That don't narrow it down Janis: bighead, remember Jimmy: 😏 Janis: whatever Jimmy: is it? Janis: I mean, Bill said it best Janis: telling everyone I ain't wouldn't do shit but make it seem like I was Janis: why else would I have agreed to this Jimmy: 'Cause I'm so fit and mysterious obvs Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm not Asia Jimmy: I know 😭💔 Janis: Could've asked, dickhead Jimmy: She has a BOYFRIEND, Jenna Janis: She wants a NEW ONE Jimmy: duh Janis: ask her then Janis: she'll have so many good ideas Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Fucking hell, I'd sooner put up with your bad ones Janis: Gee, thanks for the reminder Jimmy: 😘 Janis: no one is there, right Janis: like, no one who's gonna want a show Jimmy: What do you think? Janis: hold on then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🖐 Jimmy: 👀 Janis: how do you live like this Jimmy: What? Janis: having to be around them, even in the holidays Janis: without going postal Jimmy: I ain't got a choice Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: I know, still doesn't mean I get how you do it Jimmy: What's to get? It's a job, even rich girls know how they work Janis: Never mind Jimmy: No, go on Janis: Nah Jimmy: We're back to 🙀 are we? Janis: Nah, we're back to there's no point 'cos you always act like you're so superior when that's not even what I'm saying Janis: so forget it Jimmy: The point is that I serve dickheads all day Jimmy: Mia wishes she could take the 👑 Janis: And you can never just say that Jimmy: They're the centre of your 🌎 not mine Janis: Keep the drink Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: Neither do I Janis: another customer to complain about Jimmy: You can have that 🥇 at least Jimmy: well done Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Later Jimmy: Yeah

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business-standard-news · 3 years ago

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Bonnaroo 2021 festival cancelled ?

Pack up the tent, Bonnaroo devoted. The Manchester, Tenn. music competition is not happening this weekend. Bonnaroo 2021 is canceled because of 'waterlogged' festival grounds Organizers of the Bonnaroo Music & Arts competition canceled the four-night event thanks to intense rain from Tropical Depression IDA. Rain enraptured in late weekday and continuing throughout the weekday, inflicting saturated cubicle ways and flooded campgrounds "to the purpose that we tend to square measure unable to drive in or park vehicles safely," consistent with a press release from Bonnaroo. "We square measure completely brokenhearted to announce that we tend to should cancel Bonnaroo," the competition aforementioned weekday via Twitter. "While this weekend’s weather appearance is outstanding, presently Centeroo is wet in several areas." The statement continuing, "We have done everything in our power to do to stay the show moving forward, however has dealt America an incredible quantity of rain over the past twenty-four hours, and that we have run out of choices to do to create the event happen safely and during a method that lives up to the Bonnaroo expertise." Bonnaroo takes place in Manchester, Tennessee, seventy miles south of the state capital. A flash flood warning remains in impact for occasional County till one a.m. The region is expected to induce 3 to 6 inches of rain from the remnants of IDA. 'UTTER pain': Festival-goers distressed when Bonnaroo gets canceled, however some notice alternative plans Sam Herron, a specializer with the National Weather Service in the state capital, aforementioned weekday that slightly below 3 inches of rain had fallen round the Manchester space. “Of course it’s still dropping rain there, thus most likely another quarter in. of rain is anticipated to fall under the evening,” Herron aforementioned. This is the second consecutive Bonnaroo to be canceled. 2020’s fest was pushed back 3 months thanks to the coronavirus pandemic, then ultimately canceled. once Bonnaroo disclosed plans for a come-back in 2021, it absolutely was for September — marking the primary time the competition has ever been regular outside of June. Tickets to 2021 Bonnaroo sold out 3 weeks when on-sale; headliners for the now-axed event enclosed Foo Fighters, Lizzo, Megan Thee entire, and Tyler, The Creator. Bonnaroo's post says all tickets purchased through Front Gate Tickets (i.e. directly through the festival) are going to be refunded "in as very little as thirty days to the first technique of payment." 'Not one thing we tend to expected to be possible' While the cancellation came as a shock to several, there have been warning signs beginning on Sunday, once Bonnaroo proclaimed it might delay its encampment gap by each day thanks to conditions. On Monday, they reported that areas of the encampment were rendered "unusable," and offered refunds to all or any price tag holders. As the majority of its audience involves Bonnaroo from outside of Tennessee (and fifty-fifth from on the far side the southeast, consistent with a 2018 poll), Tuesday's announcement wasn't enough notice for a few. 2021 ticket-holder tantalize Petefish got word when driving eight hours with a traveling party of seven those that organizers off Bonnaroo. He planned to affix a habitation cluster of sixteen, together with travelers from the big apple, MN, and Colorado, – on The Farm. Petefish plans to regroup weekday nights in the state capital, he said. He at the start bought tickets for this weekend’s event in 2019. “We had some expectations that things wouldn’t be quite an equivalent,” aforementioned Petefish, 25, of the capital of Iowa, Iowa. “Maybe they'd cut folks off on a particular day … being altogether canceled isn't one thing we tend to expected to be potential.” He added, “Since we've got all this habitation gear we’ll notice somewhere close to here . Any recommendations?” 'Safe and smart' The cancellation even came as a surprise to those who'd been engaged on the grounds sooner than the competition — like Jenna Gallegos of Wichita, Kan. 2021 is her fourth year functioning at Bonnaroo as a volunteer. Her compensation? Free meals and admission to the (now-canceled) competition. Gallegos's aforementioned work, together with the construction of competition areas, was continued throughout weekdays. "Everybody's extremely brokenhearted," she said. "Honestly, it came terribly suddenly. My crew, we tend to were virtually operating, so Bonnaroo tweeted out that they canceled and did not extremely tell anybody apart from that. thus we're terribly appalled. I mean, I desire folks try to remain in elation simply because they are already here." Disappointment and sympathy were expressed by performers like Jason Isbell, United Nations agency was set to come back to the competition this weekend. "I’m sorry y’all had to create this alternative however I think it absolutely was the proper one," he wrote on Twitter. "I was extremely trying forward thereto, however, ya gotta be safe and good. like to everyone on the crew with a broken heart these days." "Was extremely trying forward to my 1st Roo performance however this cyclone isn't any joke," tweeted state capital rapper Daisha McBride. "Sending like to everybody in its path." Bonnaroo concluded Tuesday's announcement with a well-known refrain — with confidence declarative they're come back next year. "Please notice ways in which to securely gather along with your Bonnaroo community and still radiate positivism throughout this dissatisfactory time. we are going to SEE YOU ON THE FARM IN June 2022!" Read the full article

#2021 #bannaroo #concelled #festival #postponded #reason

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underimagines · 7 years ago

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princely (or something like that)

Summary: “Fate works in funny ways, huh? One minute, you’re taking your sister to a concert for her birthday, next thing you know, you’ve slammed face-first into your SOULmate. Turns out he’s the star of the show. Oh boy.”

3k-Kofi Poll Results Drabble - Mettaton/Reader, SOULmate AU: with hints of Royalty & Romance

read it on ao3 / buy me a coffee

❤ ❤ ❤

Okay, so this didn’t feel like your scene, but then again, this wasn’t your special day.

It was your little sister’s birthday, and as everyone in your family knew, your little sister was head over heels in love with Mettaton. Y’know, that new Monster superstar sweeping the nation in a trail of pink glitter and electro-pop tunes?

He’d never really been your type, music-wise, but it made your sister happy, and whatever made her happy, you could deal with. And if that meant spending over two hundred dollars to pre-order tickets to a show you didn’t even want to go to, then so be it. The moment you’d revealed your surprise gift to her, she’d been jumping around, clinging to you and squealing about how you were the best sibling she’d ever had. Never mind the fact that you were her only sibling, the praise and chance to see the happiness on her face was still worth it.

Waiting four hours in line just to get to the ticket booth, however, was very quickly making it feel like the opposite. Your sister still bounced at your heels, her hand wrapped tightly in yours as she hummed along with the (admittedly) catching tune blaring from the speakers outside the auditorium. Okay, maybe not all their stuff was bad. But from what you’d heard, most of his actual music came from the help of his cousin, a little ghost Monster named…Napster. Or something. So, it wasn’t like the credit could all go to just him, right?

Didn’t mean you didn’t like it. It was bouncy and fun, something you could easily see kids and teens liking. But you were a grown adult, so maybe your music taste was just a little more mature? Or maybe you were just pretentious like that. Maybe a mix of both.

It felt like an eternity before the crowd in front of you shuffled away enough for you to squeeze your way to the front. Still clasping your sister’s hand for reassurance that she wouldn’t be swept away with the waves of people, despite her complaints that she was “a big girl now!” and “didn’t need you babysitting her!” Just a minute ago she’d been clinging to your leg, but now that you were almost inside, she wanted to act like you were a total stranger. Of course. Such came with hanging out with a thirteen-year-old when you were well in your twenties. Such came with being the older sibling, too.

The Monster behind the counter was a skeleton, short and sleepy looking. In fact, he was asleep, audible snores coming from under his decorative uniform cap. The skeleton standing beside the doorway, however, looked to be his complete opposite. Tall, lankly, and happily welcoming everyone inside as he stamped their tickets and wished them a good time at the show. It was still surreal to you, seeing Monsterkind intermingling with humans so casually nowadays. It only felt like weeks ago—when it’d really been a few months—that they’d first surfaced from the peak of Mt. Ebott, the very king himself carrying a small child on his shoulders. “The Ambassador,” they’d been crowned, a mere tot of a child named Frisk, who’d somehow both made it through the entire labyrinth Underground and managed to break the magical barrier keeping everyone locked inside.

You didn’t know what that kid was eating, but you couldn’t help but admire them. They seemed like a real sweetheart.

Heck, they were there too, it seemed, handing out fliers to passerby that advertised the show, while pausing to take pictures here and there. A tall Monstress of a woman stood next to them, a kind smile on her face as she patted their hair and leaned down to pose with them and their guests every time a camera was pointed their way. Must have been their “Guardian” or something. They seemed happy together.

It was your sister who grabbed your attention away from the crew, dragging you past the sleeping skeleton and towards the smiling one. He tipped his hat at you, greeting you in a voice that grated on your ears as he stamped your tickets and pulled back the tiny rope that would allow you inside. Your sister giggled at him when he bowed dramatically at her, and you couldn’t help but smile, too. What a nice bunch.

Then you looked up, and audibly gasped. From the outside this place looked like any other little theater. But inside, it was decked out like a kingdom. Gold and silver trim everywhere. Heck, even the plush chairs some guests were perched on looked like they cost more than a year’s worth of your menial salary. God, this place was gorgeous. You suddenly felt very small, and very unworthy.

Your sister, however, was having the time of her life.

“C’mon!” She squeaked, pulling you with all the strength a preteen could muster. Which wasn’t much. “We’ve gotta get a good seat!”

“Alright, alright…” You mumbled halfheartedly behind her, swiveling around to take in as much of the decoration as possible. Everything was so extravagant. Was this Mettaton guy really that big of a deal? Sure, you’d expected fancy, but this was—

Just as you were craning your head up to admire the large crystalline chandelier hanging from the ceiling, you realized you’d bumped into someone. A small wave of horror washed over you at the shame, and you stumbled backwards, releasing your sister’s hand to plant your palms in front of you in surrender and assurance. “Ohmygod, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even see you—!”

The fogginess of shame around your head cleared as you glanced in your victim’s direction, and all at once you felt like the world around you had gone ice cold.

Mettaton tilted his head with all the dramatics that only a superstar could show off so naturally, propping his chin on his fist as if amused, one hand placed casually over his stomach. “Why, that’s certainly a surprise! I’m usually the first thing people notice when they walk in the room.”

Before you’d been smiling out of nervousness and a kind of horror, but now, all you could do was stare, as the sudden fire at the back of your neck seemed to burst into a supernova. You grasped at the base, hissing in pain. What the heck was that?

That’s when you noticed. Mettaton wasn’t just touching his abdomen, he was clutching it. The glowing heart-shaped object in the glass container bounced and twitched, despite the shocked expression breaking through his otherwise calm demeanor.

Oh my god.

You stumbled back, grasping your neck, willing the Earth to open beneath you and swallow you whole. But sadly, that was not the case. All you were left with was your sister’s gaping expression, the knowing smile of a world-famous celebrity, and the horrifying realization that you’d probably just made the world’s worst first impression on your own SOULmate.

“I—this—um,” You stuttered gracefully. “H-Hello?”

“Hello,” he purred back. Honest to god purred the words out, flashing you a mouthful of tiny fangs. You tried to ignore the sudden stutter in your chest at the sight of them. And jeez, was he tall, nearly towering over you. That just made things feel even more awkward, like he was a snake cornering a mouse. It felt like he could tell how intimidated you were, because he leaned back just a smidge, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Now isn’t this an unexpected little surprise, darling. I never thought I’d meet you here.”

It was said like he was talking to a friend, someone he’d met before. But you were total strangers, bound only by this thing little string of fate in the form of printed words across your—skin? Did he even have skin? Or metal? Or whatever that little heart in his stomach was made of? Was that his SOUL? You’d heard that some Monsters had things like that, wearing their hearts literally on their sleeves. The idea of being able to see your words—those terrible, embarrassing words—written across something as precious as someone’s SOUL made you want to faint right then and there.

Instead, you just continued to stumble over your words like the idiot that you were, “Uh, yeah! Same here, uh, I mean—your show—my sister loves your work!”

He posed at that, pridefully, his view slipping from you to narrow in on your younger sibling, who looked both mortified and completely blissed out. “Is that so? I’m always flattered to meet a fan darling.”

Her face was tomato-red, but she still managed to squeak out a weak, high-pitched, “Yep!” while gripping your hand so hard you were pretty sure it was going to leave bruises. Your surprise only seemed to amuse him further, and he turned in only a way a runway model could, motioning over his shoulder with a faint wave.

“Come with me, darlings. After all, this is such a special occasion. How would you two care for an upgrade? The VIP Lounge, hm?”

Did you just hear that right? He was taking you to his VIP Lounge—how—how big of a deal was this to him? You didn’t even know him! But before the words could get out of your mouth (any words at all, really), your sister was dragging you so hard that you were stumbling to keep up with her.

There were so many people staring at you. Jealous fans, confused bystanders, curious guards, from hall to hall to hall. This place was so much bigger on the inside, and all you wanted was to turn and bolt away. But your sister had an iron-grip on your wrist, and this was your SOULmate after all—Mettaton. Was your SOULmate.

My god you were SOULmate’s with Mettaton. You were still in shock about the whole thing. Not to mention the entire ensemble he was wearing. All decked out in black, pink, and gold. It looked hand-made. Specialty. Almost royal. It must have been part of his show, but it was like someone had doused him in a bucket of charm and charisma just like that. You felt like you were being led to the kingdom of a robotic prince, ready to sweep you off your feet. With even more pleased horror you realized that was almost exactly what was happening.

So much so that by the time you finally came to a stop in front of an elegantly decorated door, your mind was reeling. You felt dizzy, sweaty, nervous, fluttery. What sort of people would be inside? Other celebrities? Just you three? Guards, security?

A lizard in a lab-coat, eating a cup of instant ramen?

Okay, that part you didn’t see coming.

Your eyes locked and you watched her yellow-tinted skin very quickly melt into a shade of red that matched the edges of the heels poking out from beneath her coat. She worked to slurp down whatever mouthful of noodles she had, still managing to talk through a mouthful at the same time.

“Ohmygosh, uh, hi! Uh, you musht be new here? I’m Doctor Alphysh—” she stopped and swallowed, setting the cup to her side to shuffle towards you both. “Are you, uh, new VIPs?”

The noise that came from your mouth must have told all when Mettaton’s arm suddenly slipped around your waist. It was either that, or the Cheshire grin on his face when he leaned down to press the corner of his forehead to yours. The entire room suddenly felt so hot, you were pretty sure you were going to pass out.

“Alphys, darling, say hello to my SOULmate. This is—” He blinked, jaw dropping a bit before he shook his head with a chuckle, “I never got your name sweetheart! How very rude of me. I’m sure you know who I am by now. But…who might you be?”

As he spoke, he turned your faces closer, until you were staring directly into that swirling vortex of gold and pink galaxies within his eyes. You forgot your name. You forgot everything. There was just his stare, deep and interested and gorgeous.

That is, until your sister blurted it out for you, the sound of her voice the only thing keeping you grounded. Reality snapped back like a rubber band, and you nodded along, repeating your name several times as if to remind yourself.

“What a lovely name!” He murmured again, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. “I look forward to hearing it often.”

Were you melting? Was it possible for the human body to reach a temperature that it could just spontaneously melt? It felt like you were melting. Internally, at least.

You couldn’t help but lean forward, wanting to get lost in those galaxies just a little more. But then there came a knock at the edge of the open door, and you jumped so hard that your sister had to catch you when you stumbled out of Mettaton’s arms.

A lion-like Monster leaned against the doorway, his expression soft and meek as he spoke in a gentle tone that made you think back to the Cowardly Lion from “The Wizard of Oz.” Something about him just made you want to hug him. And the dress he wore? Absolutely adorable. “Mettaton, sir, you’re on in ten. Just letting you know.”

The pout on Mettaton’s face was enough to cause the assistant to shrink back, though you saw no malice in it. Instead, he turned that pout on you, moving to tilt your head back up so that you could meet eyes one more time. “I’ll see you at the intermission, darling.”

Then, with all the grace of a superstar mixed with a prince, he dipped down onto a single knee, and pressed his lips to the back of your hand. For a robot, his lips were surprisingly warm, and the contact left you feeling tingly and woozy. You could hear your sister squeaking like a chew-toy in the background as he disappeared into the hallway with another flourish of his star-speckled cape.

Alphys, as she was called, took your hand gently, leading you to sit beside her on the loveseat. The grin she was giving you was absolutely thrilled, like she was even more excited to meet you than Mettaton was. You wondered what kind of a person she was, to make it into the VIP room. A friend? A doctor? Or maybe even just a real lucky fangirl who happened to score the right tickets.

“So!” She chirped. “Ohmygod, this is so exciting! You’re Mettaton’s SOULmate—he’s been looking forward to meeting you for so long, ohmygosh, I can’t believe it. You’re so cute, too, & you seem so nice! I’m, uh—”

She coughed, as if catching herself in the middle of her own rant. “I’m Doctor Alphys. I, uh, made Mettaton.”

Ah, so that explained it. It was obvious she was so nervous, you felt bad for her. Gently shaking the hand she hadn’t realized she was still holding, you introduced yourself. Your sister considered that an appropriate time to pop up over your shoulder and do the same, nearly knocking you over the process. “Ohmygod, you’re Doctor Alphys?! I’ve heard so much about you on MTT’s shows!!! You’re like, the coolest scientist ever!!! I’m Sarah, by the way.”

Without giving the poor Monster a moment to breathe, she replaced your hand with her own, shaking Alphys’s arm so vigorously that you could see her glasses bouncing out of place. Said scientist gently retracted her paw after a moment, fixing her askew accessory with nervousness. “O-Oh! You’ve heard that much about me? Wow, I didn’t know he still talked about me all that much.”

“Of course he does!!” Sarah flipped over the loveseat’s middle cushion, squishing you off to the side to get closer to Alphys. “He’s always going on and on about how amazing and talented you are!! He always refers to you as ‘his dearest companion’ and all that sappy stuff, y’know?”

As she spoke, Sarah struck a pose at the pet-name part, throwing an arm dramatically over her eyes and peering at the doc from the corner of her eye. Alphys’s bright yellow skin flushed a soft red, and she wrung her hands together, obviously flustered. “O-Oh, gosh. That’s so sweet. I’m glad to know he cares. We’re really good friends after all.”

Her gaze flipped between you and your sister, settling mostly on you as she quickly added. “I—I hope we can be good friends, too!! I’m sure my girlfriend will be so excited to meet you. It’ll finally give a chance for Mettaton to stop moping around on her piano, at least.”

Mettaton? Moping?? On a piano??? Now that was something you you wanted to know more about. Your face must have given away your interest, because Alphys quickly back-tracked. “I—I mean, he can be dramatic? I’m sure you know that by now. But really!! He’s the best. He’s sweet, considerate, kind, and—"

“And he’s on right now!!” Sarah shrieked, pointing at the large widescreen settled across from you three. On the screen, you could see your…SOULmate (god, that still felt weird to say) gripping the hand of another dancer. Somewhere, the sound of a tango started.

You felt your sister lean into your shoulder, grinning. You hugged her back, leaning your head on hers affectionately. Happy birthday, kiddo.

Alphys was happy, too, texting away between poses her robotic friend struck on stage. Mettaton looked like he was having the time of his life out there on stage. The little ghost and mermaid-ish Monsters behind him were smiling, too. It seemed like everyone was in a good mood.

Gently, you relaxed back into the cushions of the chair. It was soft. The room was warm. And turns out? His music wasn’t that bad at all.

Maybe you could get used to this, after all.

❤ ❤ ❤

Thank you, everyone, who helped us reach our first Kofi Goal! I hope you guys are as excited for the next poll as I am, & I hope you enjoy reading this little story as much as I enjoyed writing it! The next poll will be up soon enough, so keep an eye out for it !! ～☆ ・゜・ ☆

- Mod Mellow

#underimagines #undertale #soulmate au #mettaton #mettaton ex #ficlet #fic #fanfiction #mettaton x reader #romantic #x reader #long post #mod mellow

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smartcookie727 · 7 years ago

Text

Irish Coffee

Hey guys! Long time no see. Working my way back into writing by doing a little drabble or two. For those of you who remember I did a thank you poll when I hit 500 followers and A LOT of people voted to have me try writing outside gajevy...upon another poll the most requested pair was lelu brotp! So here we are. Don’t worry, the gajevy is still strong, but this was a nice little way to get back into the groove. Lots of fun fluff ahead, and maybe a quick appearance by some of our favorite dragonslayers! I hope yall enjoy. As always, leave me a comment, reblog, tag, whatever you want to interact so I know what yall like! Get ready for more fic soon...I have ideas...many, many ideas :)

Pairing: Lelu brotp

Prompt: Sleepover

Length: 1.1k

Irish Coffee

Eighteen hours until the wedding. Levy clutched her stomach, laughing, as she snuggled against the fluffy pillow resting on her best friend. Sweet alcohol tickled her tongue, and she finished the last sip of her drink.

"I miss times like this," she sighed, "When was our last sleepover?"

"Not since you moved out of Fairy Hills," Lucy replied. A smile crept across her face as she thought back on countless nights huddled under blankets, watching movies, and joking about books and boys. Those nights were when Lucy realized she'd found a friend to lean on; in good times and bad, she'd always be able to count on Levy. A loud chime came from the microwave, and both girls jumped up from the couch, falling into their designated snack preparation roles like no time had passed. Lucy grabbed the popcorn, adding an extra dusting of salt, while Levy carefully walked back with their drinks. Reaching for her mug, the one covered in constellations, Lucy took a sip of Levy's latest concoction. Alcohol burned her throat unexpectedly, forcing her to gasp. "What is this?"

"Irish coffee," Levy giggled, "Gajeel taught me. Once you have a little whiskey in your coffee you'll never go back to just cream." Her face was tinged pink by laughter and drink.

Lucy put down her mug and eyed her friend. "I think he's rubbing off on you a little too much."

Levy sighed, letting her head fall onto the pillow. "Not tonight he's not." A brief moment passed in silence before both girls exploded in laughter, blushing even more. Innuendos went out the door during girls' night.

"It’s a tradition," Lucy chided.

"A stupid tradition," Levy grumbled back, fisting another handful of popcorn into her mouth.

"Don’t have too much of that Gajeel coffee. We need to finish painting your nails."

Levy giggled, wiggling her toes as she admired the single layer of deep blue chosen just for the next day. "I can do whatever I want. It's my wedding tomorrow, and besides, you're the one painting." Suddenly, a hiccup erupted from Lucy’s mouth, and the girls locked eyes, the apartment filling once again with laughter.

"I've only had 2 drinks! I can't be this tipsy yet." Tears prickled her eyes with every giggle.

"I dunno, Lu. That’s your tell. Everyone knows."

A loud crack came from the television, startling the pair. They had been talking so intently the movie was long forgotten. Lucy's eyes flicked around to her window, then back to Levy, who had a wicked smile on her face.

"Is Natsu still breaking in instead of just using the door?" she asked, suspiciously.

"Maybe." Lucy averted her gaze. Natsu's affinity for using anything but a door to enter her apartment had been going on for so long she'd had to replace the window...twice.

Levy laughed, sighing, "I'll be surprised if Gajeel doesn’t come by at least once to try and break me out."

"Why?" Lucy mused. Levy didn't have to say a word, her unwavering expression was enough of an answer. Light laughter resonated in their mugs as the girls drank. "Dragonslayers—so needy. They can barely spend one night away without—" A furious blush spread across Lucy's face as she realized how loose Gajeel's coffee had made her tongue.

Levy snickered. "Looks like that tradition won't be fun for either of us."

"And I'm not even the one getting married."

Triumphantly, Levy slammed her empty mug down on the table. "Ok, let's play a game. Last book you bought. Go!" Lucy drummed her fingers on her cup, trying to come up with a plausible excuse. "Come on," Levy teased, "If you wait any longer I'll be married by the second guess."

Sighing, Lucy gave in, alcohol having washed away any decent deception she could think of. "I haven't read it yet." She pulled out a book wrapped in red, mumbling, "It's not for me; it's for you—a girlfriend gift before the wedding." Lucy handed it over reluctantly, the surprise ruined. Levy hefted the book in her hands, fingers tracing the edges.

"I'm guessing 200-230 pages." Deftly, she tore off the wrapping.

"It’s the next book in that series you showed me. I was able to get an advanced copy with my publishing connections." Levy sat there agape, then pounced on her best friend, squishing her in a giant hug.

"Thanks, Lu. This is so sweet. I love it." Levy sat back up, admiring the intricate cover. "And I'll be sure to loan it to ya when I'm done."

Levy jumped at a loud thump against the wall, followed by cursing and teasing laughter she knew all too well. She smiled devilishly and leaped off the couch before Lucy could grab her. Leaning out the window, Levy shouted, "Back off, Dragneel, she's mine tonight." As she ducked back into the living room, she caught a glimpse of pink hair dart behind the corner of the building. Satisfied and giggling wildly, Levy flopped onto the couch. Lucy sat down next to her hysterical friend and passed her a mug painted with books.

"Refill." Lucy smiled, putting her own mug up to her lips.

"Gotta be my last one or I won't get any sleep." Levy took a large sip and cupped her mouth as the alcohol seared through her. "Is there anything but whiskey in this?” she shouted.

"Nope," Lucy laughed, "You ran through all of my coffee." Levy blushed and mumbled an apology. Playfully, Lucy pushed her arm then pulled her in close, earning a squeaky laugh. "Just call it really Irish coffee."

Levy snuggled against her, hugging Lucy tight. "You're the best, Lu."

"Only the best for you."

Levy chuckled, eyelids growing heavy. “I have the best friend in the world, the best fiance in the world, and the best drink in the world. I have it all.” Her head fell slowly, resting on Lucy’s shoulder.

“You do, Levy. I wouldn’t let you go for anyone who wasn’t the best, and Gajeel is just that. I’m so happy for you.”

“I’m happy too,” Levy slurred, “I’m glad we did this. So promise me, after I’m married, we’ll still have sleepovers every once in awhile.”

Lucy giggled and flicked her nose. “You got it, girlie.”

A loud rasp against the window stirred the sleepy pair a few minutes later, followed by a gruff voice calling Levy’s name.

“I guess that would be Irish coffee at the window?” Lucy teased.

“I told ya he would show up and attempt a jailbreak,” Levy yawned, standing up. “Your dragonslayer already came by, guess it’s time to deal with mine.” Lucy’s eyes sparkled watching how Levy couldn’t help but beam down at Gajeel even as she yelled at him. And though their sleepovers were destined to end early from now on, it was worth it to see her best friend smile more than ever before.

#lelu brotp #Levy McGarden #lucy heartfilia #fairy tail fanfiction #ftfanfics #cookie writes #gajevy #nalu #fairy tail fics #i had fun writing some drunk girls #and they're just the cutest friends #really adorable and just soooo fluffy #i hope yall like it #i threw in a litlle gajevy and nalu moments cause i just cant help myself #also how do i write something less than 1k???

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peakyblinders1919 · 7 years ago

Text

The Answer Pt. 8

for @roshanaks because she’s ignited my need for more Elouise/Michael and I can get her what she wants quicker ;)

“Rise and shine!” Maggie’s singsong greeted Elouise as she rolled over in bed with a grunt. Her voice was low from sleep and muffled by the pillows and blankets, but Maggie could just make out the faint ‘no’ falling from her friend's lips, disappearing further in the bed. “Come on Lou,” Maggie said, trying to find her friends foot to grab onto. Once she found it she started pulling, though Lou fought back as her hands emerged from the shadowy depths, grabbing onto the bars of the headboard. “You...can’t...stay...in..bed..forever.” Maggie groaned in between each tug in this game of war, as Lou gripped harder, her nails digging into her palms.

“I can.” Her voice a muffled whisper.

“You can’t.” Maggie said, giving Lou’s ankle a final, rough tug, just as Lou had finally given up and let go, sending both girls toppling over. Maggie soared through the air, landing down hard on the floor, sending Elouise shooting up to make sure she was ok.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Maggie squeaked as got up, rubbing the side of her leg as she made her way over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. She looked at Elouise long and hard before saying anything, seeing her friend in this state of dejection truly for the first time. The silence filled the air around them for a few moments, Elouise staring blankly out the window, her mind trailing off into the distance.

“I know you’re upset, but you gotta snap out of it.” Maggies harsh, but true, words broke the silence, pulling Elouise from her trance-like state, looking at Maggie for the first time in a while. Her reassuring smile made Elouise feel something she hadn’t in the past few days; hopeful. She sat up straighter, ready to listen but not willing to say anything. “You gotta get out of bed. Get out of the house. You haven’t been to work in five days.”

“I’m not even sure I have a job anymore.”

“Well why don’t you go find out or something. Sulking around all day is not good for you.”

“I can’t face them.”

“You can Elouise. They’re probably worried about you.”

“Doubtful.”

“I give up.” Maggie said abruptly, standing and heading towards the door. “I’m trying to help you but Polly was right about this self-loathing. Go talk to them or don’t, I don’t care, just get out of the goddamn house for a few hours. Go buy us some alcohol at least, since we’ve run out.”

Elouise perked up at that, knowing deep down that Maggie was right, she’d get nothing accomplished if she stayed inside and surrendered. In these few days without the Shelby’s, she had been truly familyless, and she hated that feeling more than the feeling that she didn’t have her very own family, instead of being taken in by one. She sighed, finally standing up and walking to the closet where a few of her things were hanging amongst Maggie’s, a clear divide between the darkest dresses and super girly ones.

“You trust me to go buy alcohol? Last time you called me an alcoholic if I remember correctly.”

“I said you might have a problem, it’s different. But of course I trust you, just bring the bottle back full.” Maggie smirked, throwing her some money before leaving for her fashion class.

And it was that easy to be alone again. Elouise sighed, pulling on a dress and getting ready to face the world after being disconnected from it for what felt like forever. As she stepped outside, heading towards the city full of demons, she wasn’t sure the world was ready for her again.

Elouise hurried into the first liquor store she saw when it had started to rain. She wasn't in a rush, but she didn't want her hair to get wet, sometimes she cared about girly things like appearances and stuff. But besides that her feet were beginning to ache, as she had went out of her way to go to a store on the opposite side of town as an attempt to steer clear of the Shelbys. It was times like this she wished she could have a car of her own, but she knew she was lucky to even be allowed to drive it sometimes, albeit how bad she was once she was behind the wheel.

A little ding filled her ears as a bell rang when she entered. She shook the little droplets of water off her coat and wiped her shoes as she looked around. The only other person in the store was the man who owned it, giving Elouise a smile and then walking towards she when she started looking at the whisky.

“I think what you're looking for is over here.” The man said, pointing her towards the wine. Elouise sighed, crossing her arms as she stood firmly in front of the section.

“I know what I want, thanks.”

He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Can...can I help you with anything?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m looking for top shelf Irish Whisky.”

The man’s eyes grew wide at the request, but nonetheless he what she had requested, which was hidden behind the counter. She grabbed a bottle of gin as well, Maggie’s favorite, and walked over to the counter, waiting for the man to ring her up.

“Top shelf Irish Whisky, that’s what they have down at the Garrison. What’re you doing all the way over here?”

“Minding my own business. Can we hurry please, I have to go.” She said worriedly now, almost hopping from foot to foot as the possibility of any one of the Blinders coming in now, because if this guy knew about the Garrison, obviously Elouise hadn’t gone far enough.

“That’ll be 20 pounds.” The man said with a fake smile now as he watched Elouise dig through her pockets and place crumpled bills on the counter.

“Shit, shit, shit…” she said under her breath, digging through her pockets hoping to find more than the few bucks Maggie had given her. The man looked at her cautiously, like most people do when she enters a room. In the midst of trying to find enough money to pay, she hadn’t notice the faint bell ringing again.

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, I’ll just take the gin.” She said, cursing herself for needing the money her job had provided, wondering how she was going to munster up the courage to drag herself back across that threshold. She might have to beg for her job back, publically apologize to everyone, who knows what she’d have to do but she needed her job. Unsure why, but standing in the little liquor shop without enough money to pay for booze, Elouise realised maybe Polly was right; she needed to turn her life around.

“I’ll get the Whisky.” A voice beside her made her jump, ready to defend herself against the creep trying to buy this for her, probably hoping he’d get her into bed afterwards.

“Look, fuck o-” she started, only stopping when she saw Michael beside her, digging in the deep pockets of his coat and placing money on the bar. “Michael? What’re you…” She asked confused, watching him take the bag of booze from the man behind the counter and starting to walk out. She followed reluctantly, still throwing an intimidating gaze over her shoulder at the man as she left.

“What’re you doing here?”

“I was just out running an errand.”

“On the opposite side of town?”

He just shrugged, stepping into the street to cross without looking, and Elouise followed a second after, getting honked at by some car passing by. She sped up to be by his side again, noticing the suit he was wearing, another old one of John’s. She furrowed her brows as she tried keeping up with his long strides, wondering about all she had missed in the past week if Michael was now wearing John’s old things on a daily basis.

“Well, what were you doing on this side of town?” He countered

“Trying to avoid you lot, can’t imagine that’s your reasoning too.”

He shrugged. “Happy coincidence I guess.”

She laughed under her breathe, crossing her arms as the clack of her heels filled the air. “He’s looking for me.”

“What?”

“Tommy, he’s upset I haven’t come into work.”

“Well, I mean yeah. I had your pay for this week but just spent it on this little thing.” He said, waving the bottle around at her, causing her to grab it from his hands.

“What the hell are you doing with my money?”

“The world didn’t stop just because you left El, thing’s are changing.”

A shiver ran down her spine as she heard the name.

“Changing huh? You sound like her.”

“Sound like who?” He waited but when she didn't answer, having slight flashbacks to the fight she and Polly had in the bar he ignored it and continued. “Anyway...are you gonna come back?”

Elouise stopped in her tracks, staring at him thoughtfully. Sure, he was wearing John’s old clothes, but he looked even more like Tommy when you stared at him. The light eyes, the clenched jaw, he already looked different than when he first showed up a couple weeks ago. She tisked him as they kept walking.

“So it’s Poll who’s sent you to find me.”

“Well, she was worried about you yeah, but she wasn’t the only one.” He said, looking at her sideways and a hint of a smile playing on his face. She tried not to blush too hard, but she literally didn’t know she was even capable of blushing. “How are you doing after the auction.”

“It’s over. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fair enough.” Michael stated after clearing his throat, the two turning the corner and Watery Lane coming into view. In the time they had spent talking, she hadn’t realized how much they had walked and the betting shop was on her right with the Garrison on her left, and she held her breathe at the thought of seeing anyone else.

“El?” He called, stopping at the doors of the shop when he realized she wasn’t following anymore.

“Uh, I have to get back to Maggie’s.”

“Right well, you won’t have to talk about it at the party this weekend?”

“Party?”

“Yeah, it’s my birthday, everyone’s going to the Garrison. They’d all like to see you.”

“Oh I...uh...I don’t know…”

“Come on, at least do it for me.”

She scoffed at that, stopping before getting to close to either of the Shelby territories. Her eyes roamed the street, constantly checking if anyone was showing up and when she knew she was in clear she turned back to Michael with a playful smirk on her face. “You might look and sound the part now, but you've got a lot left to learn Gray. No one tells me what to do. Thanks for the Whisky.” She finished off as she walked away, sighing deeply when she was gone again, trying to regain her composure she seemed to lose every time she was around him.

#peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #michael shelby #michael gray #michael gray imagine #michael gray fanfic #michael gray fanfiction #michael gray X OC #OC #peaky blinders oc #theanswer

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missingverse · 7 years ago

Text

Missing Chapter One

Missing

This is probably not one of my better ideas. I'm already midway through some other longform fics, and updates may be sporadic, but given that Arnold/Helga was one of my baby ships I'd like to give something to the fandom to tide us all over until the Jungle Movie.

Note: Although this is somewhat inspired by Anohana, it is a very different egg with some twists and turns planned. Enjoy!

…..

It should have been a healthy sixteen-year-old heterosexual boy's dream come true to wake up to find a girl sitting on your bed.

Not so much when that girl was a girl you hadn't seen for five years.

Not so much when that girl was a girl who nobody had seen in five years.

Definitely not when she looked just like she had on the posters and fliers and news reports, right down to her clothes (pink sundress, white sweater, pink ribbon in her hair, sneakers), the only difference being that the girl in those posters and fliers and news reports had been eleven years old, and the girl sitting on the end of Arnold's bed was around the same age he was.

It was unmistakably her. He would recognize those eyebrows anywhere.

“...Helga?” he just about managed to choke out.

She jumped, frowned down at him as if he'd done something wrong (and oh, something in him had missed that look) and made to step off the bed. Dimly he noticed she was wearing only one shoe.

“...what? You can see me? Now?” she growled.

“Of course I can see you....where have you....what....” he spluttered.

This has to be a dream.

“I've been here for weeks,” Helga groaned. “You didn't see me before?”

He reached out to her, and at the same time pinched himself. The pain barely registered because his hand sank through her arm to clutch at the bedspread under her.

Oh....well, he was definitely awake.

“That hasn't changed, then,” she said, tapping at his hand. His skin felt cold where she was touching him, like being touched by mist. It was a feeling he'd had before...he'd been looking for gaps in the drywall and the floorboards, for the source of that cold....well over five weeks....

“What are you doing here?” he managed to ask, his mind working furiously to make sense of this. Making sense of a girl who was missing, legally declared dead, suddenly popping up on his bed.

“I don't know,” she told him with a careless shrug. “I woke up here. And I can't seem to leave.”

“You can't...leave...?”

“I tried,” she continued. “I can't work the door, I keep sinking. I tried to get outside when the door was open, but I ended up back inside.”

It was all starting to make a crazy sort of sense. Of course she was a ghost. Everyone knew she was dead, even though she hadn't been found. But why would she end up haunting Arnold's house?

“I can't call you Football Head anymore,” she said, awfully casual for a dead person. “It almost looks normal. Too bad.”

Football Head.

He wanted to cry. It had been so long. But instead he laughed.

“You can call me Football Head if you want.”

…..

They worked out some facts in the most bizarre conversation Arnold had ever had.

Helga couldn't remember anything about the day she disappeared, or anything after that until she 'woke up' in Arnold's house. She had been wandering around the boarding house for five weeks, wondering why nobody would talk to her or acknowledge her. She figured out she was a ghost about two weeks in, after phasing through the walls trying to leave. She couldn't move anything with solid weight, didn't sleep, didn't eat. Didn't do anything but watch.

But now Arnold was able to see her, she said she felt more 'solid.' She could still phase through walls and couldn't open doors, but she could pick up small objects (pens, paper, socks etc.)

He brought her downstairs (it was still early, everyone else was still in bed) and he opened the front door for her, and she made it down to the end of the stoop before she had to stop.

“I can't go any further,” she said.

“Why not?” he whispered, looking around for anyone else on the street.

“I don't know,” she shrugged. “Just a feeling.”

“A feeling?”

“I've never been a ghost before, doy,” she scoffed. “How am I supposed to know anything?”

They went back inside. The boarding house was just starting to wake up. In another hour he was going to be leaving for school. He grabbed some oatmeal from the kitchen, took it upstairs with a hurried comment to his grandmother that he had homework to finish.

He brought up news articles on his PC for her to read about her case. About how she had left school on a Thursday evening, hadn't gone home, and hadn't gone to school the next day. About how the alarm hadn't been raised until Saturday when she missed Little League practice, and how her best friend had called the police but her parents hadn't. About how one of her sneakers had been found in a ditch 30 miles out of town.

He watched her skim articles and think-pieces and polls all about her case with a solemn, indifferent gaze. She had been cute at eleven, big eyebrows and all. Theories about what had happened to her were wild, sordid, sometimes ghoulish. He'd seen pictures of her digitally altered to how she would look at sixteen, but they had gotten some details wrong. She was beautiful at sixteen, dead or not. Or maybe he just thought that because he had missed her more than he ever thought he would.

“Who's this Lancie guy?” she asked suddenly, making him choke a little on his oatmeal. “His name keeps popping up...”

“He's an out-of-town suspect,” Arnold answered. “He was found with your bike. I think he was in jail before for something to do with girls...”

“Huh,” she said, scrolling down the page. “I don't remember having a bike....”

“It was Phoebe's,” he said. “She gave you her old one to help you get to Little League.”

“Oh yeah,” she smiled. “She covered it with those stickers....I got most of them off but those stupid butterflies...”

He grinned to himself. The butterflies on her bike had been used as a sort of unofficial logo for any discussions of her case. It was just like her to hate the thing everyone was using to identify her.

“Lots of results for Bob here,” she muttered. “They really think he did it?”

Yes. The general consensus was that Bob Pataki had murdered his daughter, in Hillwood anyway. He had been called in for questioning multiple times and though they couldn't prove he had done it, all the dirt that came out about him in the papers ruined any kind of reputation he could have had afterwards.

“What do you think? He's your dad, could he have done it?” he asked carefully.

She spun a little in the computer chair, thinking. How bitter to think that she couldn't immediately say no, her father could not and would not have killed her.

“It's possible,” she said at last, so casually it hurt Arnold to hear it. “Maybe not on purpose, but accidents happen....”

Over her shoulder the picture they had used in all the case files flickered on Arnold's PC screen. It was her school photo, she was smiling, her hair was tidy and her clothes were clean. But Arnold knew that there was much speculation about how few pictures they had gathered, how her family had almost none, and how a lot of the alternative photos had come from either the school or Phoebe. There were two floating around on the internet, on true crime websites. She had stitches on her head in one, a bad case of measles in the other. These were evidence that her family were neglectful at best, outright abusive at worst.

We all knew. All the kids, all the grown-ups. Nobody did anything until she was gone.

“Wonder why I didn't wake up at my house,” she mused, spinning in the chair. “You think Bob had something to do with that?”

“They don't live there anymore,” he told her.

“What? They moved?”

“Yeah, about six months after you went missing,” he explained.

They'd had their windows broken, doors smashed in, paint thrown at the house. Bob's store had been broken into and trashed. Arnold thought they might have even changed their names.

“Figures,” Helga huffed.

The chime on his phone, the one that told him it was time to leave the house for school, jingled on the desk.

“I gotta go,” he told her regretfully. “You'll be here when I get back, right?”

“I think so,” she said, clicking on another crime blog. “I'm not planning on going anywhere, anyways. Say hi to Phoebe for me.”

Biking down the hill, Arnold had time to think. Once upon a time he had dreaded going to school to deal with Helga G. Pataki. Then, he would have given anything to deal with her at school, to make things normal again. And now he wanted nothing more than to stay away from school to deal with her. It felt like something had clicked back into place.

…..

Arnold was something of a loner at school, nobody bothered him but nobody bothered with him either. Out of the corner of his eye, as he was taking books out of his locker, he spotted Gerald with his crew, lounging outside the door for Homeroom and passing comments on any girls that skittered past them.

How long has it been?

Their friendship hadn't disintegrated overnight, but shortly after Helga went missing Arnold had found he didn't like the person Gerald was becoming. They cut ties for good almost a year later, and they were coldly polite to each other in person. It helped that they didn't have many classes together, Arnold was top in pretty much everything and Gerald was flunking most of his.

Rhonda was sitting across from him as he took his seat in homeroom. She was furiously typing something on her phone, stroking her thumb across her jaw to blend some tiny flaw in her make-up. Her long elaborate nails clattered against the phone screen obnoxiously. How many words had she spoken to Arnold in the past few years? Probably less than ten.

As the bell rang, Phoebe hurried in, curled in on herself as she always was. She sat at the back, close to the door.

Say hi to Phoebe for me.

For the first time in a long, long time, Arnold really looked at Phoebe.

She had been interviewed on TV a few times during the search. America had warmed to this poor little girl who had lost her best friend, shaking and stumbling over her words as newscasters gently asked her about what they did together, about the bike she had given her, if she wanted to send her friend a message.

I WANT YOU TO COME HOME the headlines quoted in huge glaring letters, with the tear-flushed face of the little girl on the front page. I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

Then the story was old news, and Phoebe was largely forgotten by the media, except to bring up a point that she, as an eleven year old girl, had been the first person to alert police that Helga was missing. Sometimes whoever was writing the article or blog-post wondered how she was doing.

She wasn't doing well.

Her hair was long, stringy and unkempt. Her glasses were smudged, her skin pale and ashy-looking. She was buried under a shapeless wool sweater and leggings with holes at the knee. She might have still been pretty, under that lackluster appearance, if it wasn't for the air of pure misery that followed her around.

Arnold was a loner, but people still talked to him every now and then. People went out of their way not to talk to Phoebe. Ironically, she was more of a ghost than the actual ghost sitting in his room surfing the internet.

…..

He hurried home after school, half-afraid that the morning had been some hallucination, that Helga wouldn't be there.

She was.

Exactly where he had left her, in fact, and looking more alive than any dead person had a right to.

“That was quick,” she quipped, spinning in the chair and poking her one bare foot in his direction. “You say hi to Phoebe for me?”

“No,” he answered, tossing his bag onto the bed. “I thought it might make me look a bit....insane.”

“Fair point,” she agreed. “How is she?”

How could he tell her? When he knew she'd want to leave the house when she physically couldn't, to save her friend from drowning in her own unhappiness?

“She's....okay,” he lied.

#missing #hey arnold #hey arnold fanfiction #tw: crime

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myrish-lace-love · 7 years ago

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Jonsa S7 Summer Challenge Day 2: Nature

Summary: Jon and Sansa are neighbors in the same apartment building who’ve grown closer over the past several months, and they’re in a relationship now. Jon’s a veteran with PTSD, so Sansa’s found a park they can go to that doesn’t allow fireworks. Sansa’s friends Margaery and Jeyne are along for the camping trip. and Jon thinks Margaery’s up to something. She is, but he’s wrong about her motivations.

Part 1 and Part 2 here.

***

Sansa squeezed Jon’s hand before they got in the car.

"I’m really happy we’re going, Jon. We can always leave, if–“

If the fireworks are too much.

“I know, sweet girl.” In truth, Jon felt better about this holiday than he had in a long time. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone anywhere for July 4th.

Anywhere apart from….best not to think about the ghosts in his apartment.

Sansa clucked her tongue. “Do we have everything? I hope we have everything. I know we checked twice, but–“

Jon put his hand on her waist. “We do. I’d bet money on it. A girl who used to organize a five-kid camping trip and a guy who knows how to pack on short notice for long trips? I think we’re okay.”

“But what if we–“

Jon kissed her nose. He could see the blue string of her bikini tied around her neck. She was wearing a short yellow sundress, and he felt completely outclassed. Talk about not boxing your weight.

“Well, we know we have the tent, because it’s strapped to the top of the car.”

They’d brought Sansa’s four-person tent for the two of them. The only tent Jon had slept one and a half people, and that would be assuming way too much on this trip.