#maybe I find a little too much comfort in him for a character I've known for maybe a month

[auslanderka]

all I can say is I am really happy to meet him

[yesimwriting]

Normalcy

A/n deadpool and wolverine drabble bc the movie was a little too good

Summary: Still reeling from the loss of your powers, you struggle to hold it together inside the TVA's void. Thankfully, you find an uncharacteristically peaceful distraction in your old friend Deadpool and in the wolverine variant who wants nothing to do with you.

Warnings/info: reader is a (former) avenger (bc i love the avengers <3), reader is described as having similar powers to wanda and having trained with her (bc i love wanda), implied beginning of an accidental love triangle if you squint ig, maybe too much lore for a drabble (?), me writing for characters for the first time so be nice 😭

----

The lines etched into your palms do not bend and twist to spell out secrets, there are no messages worth decoding pressed into your skin. Knowing this is not enough to stop you from staring at your hands like if you could just think about it hard enough...

"There you are, Peanut." The words are so warm you're briefly pulled out of your internal angst. You straighten, head lifting slightly and arms crossing in front of your chest. "Thought I lost you."

Wade continues forward until he's directly in front of you. He pauses, watching you with an unabashed openness that you'd only ever allow him to get away with. "Kidding," he tries, "I'd never lose you."

The familiarity of the casual affection eases you further, the corner of your mouth tugging itself upwards. "I was like 15 feet away from you."

"Sorry for caring." It's his go to comeback when it comes to defending the displays of affection you have the audacity to find overdramatic.

You blink, lips parting despite your lack of response. The world has felt a little slower these last few days, moving at a pace that leaves you with no choice but to reflect. Maybe it's the void.

"Hey," his voice feels a little flatter without his usual humor, "Are you okay?"

You let out a breath, shocked by this new low. Sure, you've known Wade for awhile and you've both seen each other through plenty of stages, but he's never felt the need to attempt a genuine pep talk for you. He's never struck you as the pep talk sort...for anyone. Do you really seem that off?

It's bad enough that your identity crisis has stolen the abilities that would have helped your trio pop out of the void with no real fanfare, you can't also make your insecurities everyone else's problem. "Yeah." The response doesn't feel convincing, but with Wade wearing the Deadpool mask, it's hard to be sure. "Just y'know...we're in a void and our reality might be ripped apart, so I've been better."

He's still watching you with a level of focus that's unnerving. You've gotten used to his familiarity, his lack of care for personal space or the social rules around watching people. "You're doing it again."

"Seducing you with my ability to have a heart to heart while looking this good in my suit?"

You sigh in an attempt to dismiss your slight smile. Happy or sad, superhero that once fought Thanos or regular person that can't regulate their emotions, Wade always treats you the same. "The staring thing. You said you'd stop."

"No, you said I'd stop." The correction is a return to what you're used to. He takes a step towards you, his proximity now forcing you to tilt your chin up slightly to look him in the eye. "I'd never promise to look at you less."

"Comforting."

He angles his chin downwards, making the limited distance feel more significant. "I thought so." For a moment, he's quiet in a way that doesn't feel very him. "Are you sure you're...good?" His hesitance is another reminder that this is far out of his element. "I know this is your first..." Wade's rarely careful, only ever treading lightly on the one subject you never want to bring. "Outing, since..."

"I lost my powers."

Wade goes quiet again. If this conversation is as inevitable as it seems, a part of you wishes it could have come up elsewhere. Maybe in your shared apartment, definitely without the mask so you could better interpret his reactions. It's not often you keep secrets from him, but the hollowness you feel knowing the part of yourself you've lost isn't something you can just share.

It's more than just about missing your party tricks, it's about losing a part of yourself. They were all that was left of your time with the Avengers, of what Wanda taught you before Westview.

He lets out a breath. "They're not lost." You raise your eyebrows slightly, giving him a look meant to caution him against sympathetic optimism. "We don't know that."

He seems so happy to be able to tell you that there's no proof that any and all magical abilities have been flushed out of your system, you don't have it in you to remind him that that's mainly because you have no one to ask. What's left of the Avengers and your government connections either barely understand what you were or are untrustworthy.

"Educated wish?"

His mask muffles a slight gasp. You press your lips together in an attempt to resist smiling. "The last one worked out great."

Your eyebrows pull together skeptically, a reminder that the two of you are still technically in the middle of the last educated wish he attempted to speak into existence. "Didn't Wolverine stab you multiple times--"

He cuts you off with a heavy sigh. "If I took getting stabbed personally, do you know where we'd be?"

In a reality where Wade holds grudges over those kinds of things, you wouldn't be anything to each other, except maybe enemies. You've never pulled a knife or sword or anything sharp on him, but when you first met he did startle you before you had a total grip on your abilities, which resulted in him getting thrown through a wall.

"I never stabbed you."

His hand finds your shoulder. You let him drag his thumb against against the fabric of your suit. "And that's how I know you really love me, Peanut."

You roll your eyes in an attempt to dislodge the warmth that settles in the pit of your stomach. The last thing Wade needs is encouragement. "I mean, I do go around stabbing everyone I like less than you."

He lets out a sound that feels like a scoff attempting to mask itself as a dry laugh. "There's the sense of humor that'd hurt me if I knew you less."

"Well--"

He squeezes your shoulder, "I know you." Okay. You'll let him have this one because maybe there's some truth to what he's saying. "I'm going to go check on the car, because a fucking Honda Odyssey would break down on us for no reason before we got to the fight."

"For no reason or because of the bitch fight you and Wolverine had in it?"

There's a beat of silence in which all you can do is try to imagine Wade's expression behind the mask. You'd like to think that he's smiling. "Oh, Pumpkin." He sighs as if you've stumbled onto saying something terribly naive. "It wasn't a bitch fight, it was awesome, and probably turned you on."

You deadpan a flat, "You caught me." He hasn't let go of your shoulder, and a part of you is oddly glad for it. "I'd offer you help with the car, but..."

You're self aware enough to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses, car maintenance being the latter. Wade doesn't even let you get your oil changed by yourself anymore.

"I've met you." He squeezes your shoulder again, the gesture weirdly stabilizing. "Give me 15 minutes to actually look at the car and then I'm all yours."

Wade lets go of you, his arm falling to his side. "Aren't you always?"

He lets out an exaggerated gasp. "You're making me feel cheaper than my usual rate, Peanut."

You smile as he turns away. Things are always a little easier with Wade. It's more than just distraction, it's his way of making things feel a little lighter. You're not sure what to do with your 15 minutes of solitude to avoid falling back into self pity.

You originally broke away from the group of void trapped heroes under the premise of needing fresh air, but even here, with the expansive, sparsely wooded area at your disposal, the oxygen in your lungs still feels flat. If Wanda were around, you'd be able to ask if she felt the strangeness of this other plane of existence as well. At least then you'd know if your dislike of the void is only mental or an actual sign of life from your abilities.

You begin to walk forward, hoping to shed all thoughts of both your former self and the eeriness of this other world. There are other people you could talk to you. The others have been polite enough, or at the very least, passionate enough to be talked into facing Cassandra.

The trees you've been wandering through grow in their sparsity, the edge of the woods revealing a patch of grassland highlighted by a fire's warm glow. You squint past the tree line, attempting to make out the figure sitting in front of the flames. Wolverine.

Secluded from the group and staring at a campfire. Surprising. Though, you guess it's not fair to judge him too harshly, you left the group to brood as well.

He doesn't like you, doesn't know you well enough to dislike you, but it took him no time to find a way to get around that. Maybe it's your proximity to Wade. You've done your best to take his hostility as un-personally as possible. You've seen enough people you really care about go through the guilt ridden, fallen hero thing to know how deep that kind of hurt runs.

You've never known a Wolverine or Logan Howlett variant, so you have no way of knowing what he was like before. Sure, you've heard stories, but you're also overly aware of how the media can twist and turn those stories to fit their narrative. One day, a superhero is the world's greatest protector, and the next their the greatest menace. Maybe he was always a little dark, or maybe he wasn't.

"Don't just stand there." The gruffness of his voice startles you more than it should.

Heat crawls up your neck, a part of you more embarrassed than you should be. You weren't lurking, or at the very least, you weren't trying to.

You sigh as you abandon the safety of the tree line. "Sorry." He turns his head away from the fire. "I wasn't--I was just walking."

He's quiet for such a long moment you almost expect him to not respond at all. "Without your shadow?"

Wow, only a halfhearted dig at Wade. You must have caught him in a good mood. "Friend, and he's looking at the car. I'd be looking at the car with him, but I figured the odds for tomorrow are bad enough as is."

Another uneasy stretch of silence. "Yeah." There's not much, if anything, to take from the comment. "If you're here to convince me to go with you guys tomorrow--"

"I'm not." It's an honest answer. You had been walking around aimlessly and happened to stumble onto him. "I'm not into the pep talk thing." He scoffs, the sound lacking in genuine aggression. "What?"

He lifts his gaze from the fire, his eyes settling on some point past the horizon. "I thought you were an Avenger."

You're not sure what bugs you more, the fact that he's so sure he has you all figured out or the implication that the Avengers spend their days encouraging each other instead of actually doing things. What the Avengers are--or maybe were--is so much more than that.

You step forward, further separating you from the cluster of trees. "The Avengers are about a lot more than that."

His attention briefly shifts onto you before returning to the flames. If the silence is meant to be dismissive, it doesn't feel that way. There's a patience there that doesn't suit his usual brooding.

"Do you care if I sit?" The question is forced out before you can overthink it. "I promise no inspirational speeches or small talk."

After a beat, he dips his chin downwards in a nod so subtle you would have missed it if you had been watching him any less carefully. You're more relieved by his acceptance than you should be, your feet carrying you towards the campfire.

You sit at a polite distance, knees bent in front of you. His silence seems to push against the void's sluggishness. Maybe the issue has been you fighting this world's momentum.

"Why are you with him?" You're not sure if you're more shocked by the question or the break in silence. When all you can do is blink, he continues, "You seem--" He subtly clears his throat, as if struggling to admit this next part, "Nice, normal."

Oh. If you had been focused, you likely would have got what he meant without the clarification. "I know Wade's a lot--especially to you." You place a hand against your knee, thinking about that very specific safety you only feel with Wade. You don't have to try at being anything, or worry about earning your keep in any capacity. "But once you get to know him, he's a good friend."

You look away from the fire pit in time to see the skeptical look Logan throws in your direction. "I'm serious." His expression doesn't change. "He um--after I stopped being important to everyone else, he still liked me ." This isn't the conversation you wanted to stumble onto, especially not with someone who you barely know and actively dislikes you. "That sounds kind of dumb, but the point is, he's loyal."

He turns his head back towards the fire. "You always call him by his name." The observation is so stiff you'd consider it hesitant if it came from anyone else.

You've never thought much about Wade's name. Part of it is familiarity, and the rest of it is a force of habit. Even when you were with the Avengers, you preferred using actual names when off duty. It's easier to separate the mask from the person beneath it when you make an active effort to.

You shrug. "I'm not into off duty superhero names, Wolverine."

He falls silent again. You concentrate on the flames, the way they illuminate the world around you. "You can--" He cuts himself off, attention never wavering from the fire. "You can call me Logan, if you want."

An unsteady warmth roots itself in your chest. You didn't expect any sort of kinship between you and the wolverine Wade stole from some other timeline beyond him occasionally accepting your attempts at creating peace between him and Wade.

"Okay," you focus on keeping your tone measured, avoiding any emotions that might startle him, "Logan."

There's no tension in the quiet that follows. You let the minutes pass until you're certain that Wade's waiting for an interruption disguised as an attempt to help. "I should go, Wade's probably waiting for me."

You push yourself to stand. You let yourself glance at him one last time before turning towards the trees you emerged from.

[dwindlinghaze]

lover in the foyer

(remus lupin x reader)

summary: remus lupin loves you, but his best friend 'likes' you too. so you both ended up fake dating.

contents: fluff, hurt/comfort, protective remus, r and remus are totally in love fr.

　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

it was a secret that you have a little crush on remus lupin. you kept that information to yourself 'cause you couldn't let the others know- it would be too embarrassing if they do. for years you've been hiding your feelings. burying it deep inside your heart.

well, that was until one day on the marauder's dormitory, a conversation was spoken.

"i've got something to tell," james started, sitting up right on his bed.

"what is it?" remus replied.

"promise you won't call me crazy?" he asked.

"we promise!" the other three said in unison.

"i'm starting to like a girl... and it's not lily," said the boy.

"what?" sirius asked, not believing what his mate just said. it was globally known that james potter loves lily evans. no one else. it has been six years since.

"yeah... it's y/n,"

a ringing silence filled the room.

you weren't super close with them four. although you are kind of friends with remus. you two talked occasionally when passing through the hallways or in the great hall.

during those small little encounters, remus might've caught some feelings. something different bloomed in his heart. hearing james saying this made his heart burn.

"i feel like she'd be a good distraction- i mean from lily. maybe that way i can make lily jealous and then she'll confess to me. even if lily-flower didn't, y/n would still be decent as a girlfriend i guess. no harm," james continued.

remus frowned, his skin burning. how could someone do that? having you as a second option? total bullshit. he wouldn't let you get treated like that. he wouldn't let james pick on your self esteem like that.

you're too good for anyone. he knows. being a substitute for someone because their crush doesn't like them back is not morally right. your soft heart is too precious to be crushed that way.

"prongs- i think that's a good idea! by then you can get lily to confess to you! you'd be everything!" sirius encouraged james, much to remus' dismay.

"moons?"

"moony has been real quiet-"

"i don't think that's a good idea," remus said sternly. he would be flaring laser beams from his eyes at james if he were a cartoon character.

james' mouth dropped, "why?"

"because- cause she's my girlfriend!" remus spoke abruptly, not knowing what he had actually said.

"your what?" all three of them screamed in shock. remus never said anything about a girl.

"how long?"

"how did that happen?"

"why didn't you tell us?"

"stop!" remus yelled, making them shut their mouth. he was panicking now. you are not his girlfriend. you'll never be. not now. not even tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

"i started to date her like... two weeks ago," remus said before standing up, grabbing his bag before he headed out of the room. "i have to go, she said something about wanting to meet me in the library."

he fumbled with the hem of his sweater. it was cold, but he was sweating heavily. he has to find you.

thank god the marauder's map was on his bag or he would be caught lying. he saw your name- beautifully written- you were on the clocktower field, sitting alone.

remus ran to where you are, panting when he arrived.

"oh y/n!" he said, taking heavy breaths.

"yeah? remus?" you looked up from your book, gazing at him with the softest yet confused pretty eyes.

"i made a big mistake- i'm so so sorry!" remus said hurriedly. his sweat trickling down his forehead.

"calm down rem, i'm sure it wasn't that horrible! sit beside me, we can talk," you sent him a comforting smile, patting the empty seat beside you.

remus sat down, wiping his palms on his trousers. how does he say it? when does he start?

"you okay?" you asked.

"noyou'rereallyprettyandkindandlovelyandsweetandiknowyouwillneverlikemebackandyouwillhatemeforthisbecauseiclaimedthatyouaremygirlfriendfortwoweeksandimsososorry."

"say that again?" you laughed, pulling out a napkin to hand it to the poor nervous boy before you.

"i may or may not have said that you are my girlfriend in front of my friends."

"why would you say that?" your heart skipped a beat, taking in the words remus has spoken. you'd be lying if you said that you've never dreamed of this- being called remus lupin's girl.

"because- it's kind of stupid really. i got it out before i even know what i was talking about that moment," he scrambled with his words, finding it hard to form a sentence right now.

"basically, james told me that he likes you but i know he does not like you. he said he wanted to go out with you just so lily can realise that she is in love with him. and i would never let him do that to you. putting you second, you deserve so much better than that. and long story short, i said that you are my girlfriend... yeah."

remus lupin was doing this for you. so that you don't get played. how sweet.

"uhm," you looked down, playing with the hem of your skirt.

"uhm- would you be in for- y'know fake dating... me..?" remus said awkwardly. "it's alright if you don't want to, i'll make some excuses. but please don't agree on going out with james. i don't want you hurt," he whispered the last words. it was half self-indulgent in his part. seeing his the girl he's been pining for years dating his best friend is not a good feeling. but he also doesn't want you to be a second choice. it feels horrible to be. knowing that feeling all to well.

"okay- i guess i can date you," you said shyly. cheeks turning crimson.

"okay- great. we can stop if you don't feel comfortable. don't wanna pressure- just for a few weeks," he said once more.

"it's fine rem, or should i call you honey? or darling? or-" you laughed, seeing his flushed face. he is so adorable. how lucky you are to have him as your 'boyfriend'.

"how can i be a girlfriend?" you asked as you two walked back from the field.

holding hands.

it wasn't in his mind that you would ever hold his hand but you are now. dreams really do come true huh.

"we just keep it normal- i mean like we hold hands, and maybe i will hug you more often, those pda stuffs. remember, only if you're comfortable." such a gentleman he is. he always makes sure that you are comfortable everytime. gosh that gave you the fluttery butterflies.

"okay, i can manage," you giggled.

"y/n- darlin'', can i sit with you during breakfast tomorrow?" remus whispered. you both were sitting on the common room in the corner, the other marauders sprawled a few feet away.

"sure, you can," you smiled softly at him.

he squeezed your hands, resting his cheek on your shoulder. this small action gave you butterflies, the pretty sparks. his face was pressed against the fabric of your soft cardigan, with one of his arm around you.

it's just been three days and you have fallen more in love.

remus on the other hand is trying not to get this too much in his head or he'd go feral. being this close to you and basically cuddling on the couch felt like a fever dream. one that he doesn't want to wake up from.

your silky skin, that periwinkle smile, those wonderstruck lips, angelic face, your incandescent touch, those misty eyes. he loves them all. how could one not? he felt the luckiest in the school for having this. having you with him on a cold friday night under the same fluffy blanket of yours. the smell of you intoxicating his nose. he isn't bothered by it. he enjoyed it.

the most obvious thing in a relationship is display of affection. though it wasn't hard for any of you to do that. remus held your bag, your books, your papers, even the things you can do yourself. he insisted that he had to help you bring them.

and that goes for days. you and remus fake dating.

james was still skeptical about remus sudden relationship. remus was never the one to look for love in his life. well- at least that's what sirius observed.

he couldn't help but look more into details of remus' 'relationship'. he noticed how remus never kissed you in public. or at least when he's in the same room as you and remus are.

"if you've been dating for three weeks now, why haven't you two got in the next step yet?" james squinted his eyes at the both of you. holding hands while studying.

"whatever do you mean by that?" remus questioned.

"like- i don't know kissing..?"

"i do kiss her often," remus replied, shrugging before he squeezed your knuckles, rubbing soft circles.

"how come i've never seen it?" james asked childishly.

"well here. maybe because you don't have to see or know or hear everything about my personal life," remus replied rather coldly.

"i'm starting to think you two are f-"

james' words were cut short as remus' lips locked to yours, wrapping them in a deep kiss.

james let out an "o" sound, walking outside the common room because the tension would be awkward for the three of you.

the moment he stepped out of the room, remus pulled away. eyes brimmed with fear and embarrassment. "sweetheart, i'm so sorry," remus said.

"it's okay remus..." you still haven't processed what had just happened but you sure did kind of enjoyed it.

"um we- we should do that more often. i mean- to make it more real y'know..." he said stiffly. it's not actually about 'making it more real'. he just wanted to kiss you, feel you. he really liked kissing you.

you didn't know what you're getting yourself into. you thought whatever this thing is would only last for two days and then you'll be back in your daydreaming days. but it wasn't. remus is still there.

that goes on for months. the both of you went from holding hands, to kissing, to lean on each other, to more boyfriend and girlfriend things. if you didn't know better, you'd think he's not faking all of this.

hogsmeade trip is coming up, that's the only thing the students are talking about right now. visiting new shops and doing early holiday shoppings. you'd be lying if you said you weren't excited. not only will the village be like a winter wonderland with the snow all over the ground and the roof, but also since remus is going with you for the day.

"you excited, dove?" remus smiled when he met you halfway on the walk to the carriage. he pulls out his gloved hand from his pocket to place it around your back.

you pressed yourself against his warmth, giggling in content. you didn't really have to speak, remus knows.

he kissed the top of your forehead, then guide you to the carriage with some random students.

as the thestrals pulled, you beamed when the snow starts falling down. perfect. everything is so perfect right now. snowflakes fall down your lashes and hair, a sight remus wanted to tattoo in his mind forever.

you had worn make up today, he can visibly see the pinkish shadow in your eyelids. remus couldn't help but admire how pretty your make up looks. how you're so good at doing anything.

your lips were a pink shade close to your natural ones, he wanted to kiss them- give your lips warmth. he was staring at you for so long to the point where he didn't realise that the carriage had arrived.

"it's pretty here! i always love seeing snow on the roof," you smiled brightly at the snow-covered roofs, inhaling the smell of fresh snow falling from the sky.

"they sure are," he agreed, "do you want to go to the cafe for a bit? the ride was cold," he blew his palms.

"of course!"

smell of fresh baked goods filled your nose, contrast to the outside. you two chose a spot near the fireplace, ordering a cup of hot cocoa.

there was a comfortable silence between the both of you. neither really have to talk. you just smiled at each other occasionally, looking around the room after. times like these make your fake relationship feels real.

when you finished your cups of hot cocoa, you two went to honeydukes, buying lots of sweets for the holiday stocks.

remus paid for your chocolates. you insisted on paying them yourself but he refused. dumping his handful of sweets over yours so they were mixed, making it impossible for you to pick yours up.

"rem, you know you can't do this right?"

"why not?" he pouted, "i want to be a good boyfriend after all."

he gave butterflies to your stomach, you hide your visibly burning cheeks on his shoulder, hugging his arm.

he loved that, so much. it feels so real, like you actually love being with him.

then you walked in a bookstore, choosing your read for the month. this time you were paying for him. "you're being so kind, and i love that but let me reciprocate that too!"

remus just nodded in defeat, kissing the crown of your head.

you and remus had a wonderful trip, one that will always be remembered. just before you part your ways, you said, "i've enjoyed the trip a lot. thank you remus for spending the day with me." you yawned, rubbing your eyes. then you kissed him. it was remus who initiates the kisses first, but this time it's you.

he cant help but feel those butterflies inside him again, holding your figure securely. "i'm getting tired, i'll see you tomorrow, love." you kissed him once more before climbing up to the girl's dormitory. leaving remus in utter shock.

maybe you guys aren't fake dating after all. maybe this is real all along. the last time the two of you ever said 'fake' was so long ago. that made him realise that this is real.

oh he can't sleep that night.

the next morning remus was skipping down to the great hall for breakfast with an uncontrolled smile on his face. this morning he woke up earlier, took a warm shower, brushed his hair, and do all things that james potter does.

"you look extra happy today hm?" james questioned, quirking one of his eyebrows up.

"just had a really good date yesterday, so good," remus replied, grabbing a plate of waffles with yoghurt and a bunch of other fruits.

"i didn't know you like kiwis," sirius snorted.

remus rolled his eyes, scoffing, "it's for my girl, look she's coming!" he said shyly, waving his hand for you.

you sat beside him greeting the students around a good morning. "you look- different, did you cut your hair?"

remus laughed, shaking his head.

"oh," you giggled, scrunching your face. remus loves that sight. you look so pretty and adorable every single day, he was so lucky. "you're handsome, y'know," you opted, making his cheeks redder.

"ugh lovebirds," sirius gagged, stuffing his mouth with potatoes.

remus smiled to himself, then he grabbed your fingers, intertwining them together. "here, your breakfast, i cut the waffles so you can eat easier. not that i think you'll have a hard time cutting waffles- you are perfectly capable of doing anything by yourself."

your heart fluttered at his words.

how much of a gentleman he is being! you wished he is your actual boyfriend. the girl that ends up with him must be so lucky.

"thank you so much," you said.

christmas is coming, and there was a party thrown at the gryffindor's common room.

"it's not even christmas yet padfoot," remus stated.

"i know, that's why it's called a pre-christmas celebration party!" sirius cheered as he wrote a letter to one of the firewhiskey store at hogsmeade, ordering boxes of the drink. he also ordered some butterbeer for those who don't drink.

"well you better celebrate cause this is the day where i'm asking lily flower out!" james said happily.

"sure prongs," remus nodded unconvincingly.

"are you enjoying the party?" he came up to you right after your friend was leaving to the bathroom.

"i am! loving the option of butterbeer," you replied.

"you haven't got any drinks?" remus asked.

"nope, i just had a chocolate cake and a butterbeer," you said.

"good good, you don't want to be like sirius or james," he pointed to the both of them. they were dancing on the sofa, jumping like rockstars, holding nonexistent guitars.

you laughed at them before grabbing his hand. "hope you don't mind, getting crowded here."

remus squeezed your knuckles, "i don't mind, you can hold me whenever you'd like."

the the two of your heard a joyous yell from james potter. "lily said yes!" he said to everyone. you can already sense lily's eye roll from there.

"finally!" remus laughed.

but you didn't. what happens now? are you and remus going to stop dating because james will not pick on you anymore or will this be continued.

that night ended with you staring at the ceiling, frowning of whatever's coming.

remus was still his lovely self, he still gives you kisses, hugs you, gets your breakfast ready, and all that sweet things he does.

you on the other hand was sceptical. maybe he just forgot or maybe he didn't know how to tell you. so you did the only thing in your mind. avoiding him little by little as days passed. it's the only way to get this over with as soon as possible before you completely fall for him more and more. like people say 'you've got to leave before you get left'.

remus noticed as days passed. you don't kiss him back anymore. you don't hug his arm. you rarely touch his hand. it was frustrating.

did you really stopped liking him? or was everything just in his head. he couldn't get those thoughts out of his mind. he was feeling less joyful as he usually does.

one evening you saw him alone in front of the fire place, a book open but he was staring at the burning fire. you couldn't help but saw how his beautiful face was forming frown, forehead crinkling and sorrow eyes.

you approached the boy, placing your hand on his shoulder gently.

remus flinched, turning around, "i didn't know you're there." his voice was croaky.

"it's okay, i just got here. are you feeling alright?" you sat beside him, knees touching.

"um i- don't know..?" he replied, his eyes averted back to the fire.

your heart sunk, a part of you knew that this is maybe your fault. you were doing this to him.

"rem, talk to me. maybe i can help."

"you've been distant," he replied. he cringed at how stupid those words sounded.

"i uh-"

"did i do something? i'm sorry, i'm sorry for making you feel that way. if you don't want to be together that's fine and-"

"what are you talking about? remus you didn't do anything wrong!"

"well why are you avoiding me as if our relationship means nothing."

"remus-," you paused, trying to find the words. "we are faking all of this remember?"

"what?" remus asked. you could see the pure shock in his face also a tint of sadness . "i thought we were dating- not fake dating."

"huh? since when?"

"after our hogsmeade date... i'm so sorry for jumping on to conclusions way too fast. i just thought we were together because it felt so real. like just- you and me- we-"

your heart clenched, "what if i told you that it felt real too?" you whispered.

"what do you mean?" he avoided eye contact.

"i love spending time with you. you made that hogsmeade trip so memorable for me. no one has made me feel so- so content. it felt like you- you like me."

"i like you," he replied.

"i like you too," you replied.

he relaxed, a soft smile on his lips. "so you thought we were faking all of this while i'm over here thinking that we are mutually in love?"

you giggled, trying to ignore the part where he said love. "you never asked me to be your girlfriend, how was i supposed to know?"

"okay yes that was my fault, so would you like to be my absolutely-real-not-fake-long-time girlfriend?" remus asked with a cheeky smile.

"i accept your offer as your absolutely-real-not-fake-long-time girlfriend," you replied.

you both laughed, and remus pulled you to his chest as he rest his chin over your shoulder. "remember earlier when i said i like you? scratch that- i love you."

[lala-blahblah]

I absolutely cannot sit down and write a nice version of this bc my brain says no, but i would like to let you all know I'm thinking of a fanfic where older Edgeworth is moving back to the US (or japan, whichever universe you subscribe to) and runs into Nick in the store while buying mass produced art to hang on the walls of his new house.

And Nick is like "dear god do you want your house to look like a dentist's office. Please do better" (in a friendly way, they are too old for rivalry at this point) and so Nick invites Edgeworth to come over and take any of his old artwork from college, since it is just sitting in a portfolio in a closet somewhere. And Edgeworth agrees to come over and look through Nick's old stuff together. There are themes of 1) growing older and like reflecting on the past and 2) Nick's character trait of finding meaning in challenges vs Edgeworth's tendency to stick with what he does well. In my head I imagine that Nick was good at art and it came somewhat easily to him and that bored him, and he was drawn to law in part because it was hard and it excited him and made him want to try harder. And i think tying that in with fatherhood, like it being unexpected and hard but something he thrives at because he feels good when there's a challenge. Potentially also touching on how like, when he lost his badge he felt very listless and depressed because he wasn't being challenged anymore, there wasn't anything to drive him and motivate him. And I think Edgeworth would be impressed by seeing Nick's old pieces (I assume he hasn't seen much of his art before) and wondering why he didn't choose to pursue art further. He also thinks about how art had always put him off personally because he couldn't get it "right" right away, and on the other hand how the structure and logic of law came easily to him, which led him to become a lawyer. I think he measures his self worth by his success in his field because he never had the support to believe he had intrinsic value as a person and maybe wasn't so good at making emotional connections with people. So that big contrast between them is so interesting... I think Edgeworth would be jealous of Nick's bravery in pursuing something he was bad at without giving up and Nick would be jealous of Edgeworth's success in law, but in a subdued way as they've grown older.

A far as actual scenes in the fic, I think I would use Nick's art as a conduit for my own agenda to have them talk about topics that are of interest to me... I would like Edgeworth to feel out of his depth for once and for nick to be the confident one as he talks about something he is well versed in, and for edgeworth to have to face that discomfort and also be a little impressed intellectually with Nick. I think I would do that by having them look through some abstract art Nick did (my intro painting classes were all abstract so we could focus on color mixing and getting comfortable with the medium). Edgeworth compliments Nick on a painting with a bunch of colored squares in gradient clusters and then gets embarrassed when Nick tells him those were just color mixing swatches. Alternatively, in my mind they are both asexual and I think even though this feels like a hallmark cliche I would have Edgeworth flounder and be very embarrassed over Nick's old figure drawing piece. I feel like Nick would be like "no you don't understand it's all very professional and normal when we draw them, like it's just about learning the shape language" and Edgeworth would be like "this is very improper and I don't know how to react can we please not look at naked people!". I don't think i would do both, but something to upset the power dynamic for a moment would be interesting! Nick is always the awkward one I want to see him shine for just a moment enough for edgeworth to go "wait what... i've known him for so long but perhaps i don't really know him at all..."

I would want Edgeworth to end up taking a series of 3 canvases Nick did in an oil painting class that were still lifes of objects the teacher had set up around the classroom. I headcanon that Nick actually far preferred drawing people to objects and rebelled against the assignment by hiding his reflection in one of the objects in each drawing- the top of his head is hidden in an ornament on a christmas tree, his eye is reflected in the shine of a china vase, etc. So it's a little secret, and Edgeworth kind of likes that... it is sweet in a way to see a much younger Phoenix captured in time like that. Something Edgeworth will be reminded of when he sees the paintings but nobody else will catch onto

I would want to layer this with a fatherhood storyline... I think i would frame it as nick inviting edgeworth over to dinner with him and Trucy and Edgeworth stepping into this domestic family life as a visitor and witnessing how its transformed Nick, like seeing him from a different lens. I think after they pick out paintings and have dinner they sit around talking. Trucy had been sitting with them, earlier she showed off some magic tricks and gave Edgeworth a picture of hers from the fridge to add to his new art collection (it's a rainbow dolphin and a sea turtle wearing top hats. Nick says she's in her Lisa Frank era). But she's been quiet for awhile and Nick realizes she's fallen asleep and it's like 11. He's like, crap, i screwed up i should've paid attention and gotten her put to bed, I'm a bad father and I have an audience for this failure. And on top of that, I already failed at being a lawyer, no matter what I try I always disappoint everyone. It's an unexpected moment of vulnerability there... like he's seemed so put together and grown up to Edgeworth this whole time like a whole different person, but he's not a different person he just has different sides to him. And this moment is one where edgeworth can be like hey, no, you're a great dad, and I'm impressed by you and everything you achieved. And I think that could lead into vulnerability from Edgeworth about his relationship with his dad and how he misses him/how he feels like he hasn't really been loved by anyone since his dad died, and how Trucy is lucky to have someone like Nick in her life.

Nick excuses himself to carry Trucy to bed and Miles starts cleaning up the kitchen. I would give a moments pause here to talk about the strange intimacy of going through someone else's kitchen cabinets and drawers, you feel like a stranger there trying to put yourself into someone else's shoes to understand how they live in this space. Maybe he guesses the right drawer for the silverware first try and he feels a little spark of connection. like "we are different in many ways but we are alike enough that we look in the same place for our spoons". Details on the kitchen too about the kid safe plastic bowls and knives that indicate a child is part of the household, that the household has been built around the child, in fact. Edgeworth lives alone and I imagine things are kind of fancy for him (he's a man who wears a cravat so he probably has fine china right). It's completely different from this shabby mismatched cutlery that Nick has, but this kitchen has personality. Maybe he wouldn't mind having a kitchen like this so much. This is a hint at him being lonely, being included in this family unit just for a day has given him this curious sense of longing, for what he isn't sure... does he want kids? Does he want Nick? Does he just want to be part of a family? These are confusing questions and he would much rather not feel anything at all, but unfortunately it is late and he did have a glass of wine with dinner so emotions are Happening.

He hears Nick sigh tiredly as he comes into the kitchen, and Edgeworth starts to ask him where his tupperware is when suddenly Nick is wrapping his arms around him and Edgeworth is Very Tense because he's never good at knowing how to act in situations like this and he and Nick have never been on a hugging level before and he's not sure what this is even for. Then Nick is like "I keep thinking about what you said earlier, about feeling alone ever since your dad passed away. I didn't know, that's such a long time to feel alone. I don't want you to think you're on your own". Edgeworth relaxes a little bit because now he knows what the hug is for and what he's supposed to feel from it. Its very kind of Nick to worry but its unnecessary and he says so. He has colleagues he's friendly with and people from law school he keeps in touch with, he's alright. And Nick says he knows but he also knows it's difficult living the way they do, and what he means is single and in your thirties. Because everyone else is getting married or living with a long term partner or at the very least dating and their lives are focused on that relationship as the center of their being. And when you don't have that, not only is it harder to relate to the people around you but it is harder to feel like you matter in people's lives, because they all prioritize their partner before their friends. And maybe their situations aren't exactly the same (Nick has a daughter while Edgeworth lives alone) and maybe their choices were made for different reasons (Nick used to date and didn't mind it but didn't see a need to prioritize it. Edgeworth found himself unable to distinguish with certainty whether or not he was actually romantically interested in people, and rather than make the wrong choice he decided he would rule out error by choosing no one at all). But regardless, they both know first hand the isolation that comes with trying to carve a path for themselves that does not include a life partner in a world where everyone else comes in pairs. And Nick is reaching out across that emptiness saying hey, we might both be building different lives, but there's room for you to be a part of mine if you want.

Outloud, Nick says "Really, Miles. You aren't alone in this." and Edgeworth says "Well, Phoenix, neither are you". And he stands there and lets his friend hug him, and it doesn't feel like butterflies but it does feel solid and warm and good. And he doesn't even worry about whether he's supposed to let go by now or not, because it's nice, not being alone.

They stand there in comfortable silence for a long moment before Nick speaks again. "hey, remember when you used to hate me? And look at us now." Edgeworth turns his head sharply. "I never HATED you, Wright. I simply thought you were foolish and a waste of my time." He realizes a little too late that this is probably a rude thing to say to the person that just gave you a pep talk, but Nick just laughs, his head still resting on Edgeworth's shoulder. Looking at him from this angle, face almost fully hidden, Nick could be any age at all. It's easy to imagine for a moment that he's the same nervous version of himself that stood across from him in the courtroom for the first time all those years ago. The only thing breaking the illusion is the subtle streaks of silver that cross his temples. Not entirely sure why he does it, Edgeworth kisses the top of Nick's head. He feels odd about it the moment he does so, realizing it comes across not as a platonic or romantic action but as a gesture suited for a dog or pet of some kind. Nick looks up, looking confused but not displeased. "What was that for?" "It was a thank you I suppose". Miles steps away now, still uncomfortable with perceived failures even if those failures are just in social interactions, and begins to gather his things while Nick gets down a tupperware from a cabinet. "Thank you, for the dinner and for the paintings." Edgeworth continues. "I'd like to repay the favor once I get settled into the new house. Trucy's invited too, of course". As he says it, he realizes he genuinely is looking forward to seeing them again. Nick walks him to the apartment door and they say their goodbyes while Edgeworth tucks the paintings (and Trucy's dolphin drawing) under his arm.

He gets halfway down the hallway when he hears Nick calling after him. "Hey! Miles! Take an art class with me sometime" Newfound friendship or not, Edgeworth just looks at him in disdain. "what, so you can show off your superior art skills? No thank you, Wright" "No, for fun. You can make things of your own to hang on your walls. We can do something I've never done before so we're evenly matched. Like printmaking? Origami? Um, pottery?" Edgeworth bristles at the suggestions but takes a moment to acknowledge why he's feeling that way; again, it's that fear of failure. But he's enjoyed himself today and deep down he thinks it could be fun to try something new, not with the goal of being perfect at it but with the goal of spending time together. Nick surprised him today. Maybe he can surprise himself. "... I would consider pottery" Edgeworth admits. And Nick looks really happy about it. "Great. I'll book us a session then. It'll be fun, you'll see. Edgeworth shakes his head, but there's no malice behind it. "Have a good night, Phoenix" "You too. Get home safe Miles".

Edgeworth gets home a little before midnight and props the three canvases against the moving boxes still stacked up in the foyer. Tomorrow, he'll figure out where he wants to hang them. Right now though, he walks over to the bare fridge and carefully pins up Tracy's dolphin drawing. There's a lot more work to do, but it's already starting to feel like home.

[its-all-papaya]

wait i have to add: "I'll write that injury landoscar for you down the road as an apology" NO IT WAS PERFECT THANK YOU !!! but i won't say no to injury landoscar so if you want to write it 👀 (i would be happy!) that's an ask i'd like for the I wish you would write a fic where... ask game tbh!

maybe like. one of them hears that the other crashed or sees it happen and finishes the race on autopilot, frantically asking if the other is okay over the radio and not getting a straight answer (like ferrari: we are checking) and after the race not giving a SHIT, running directly to where he's told by someone the other is although maybe having a podium finish? or media duties?, ignoring everyone on the way there and then seeing they're alright and just. taking the biggest breath ever known. and being overwhelmed? and then just. kissing him in front of the medics? idk. but! it could also be soft, finding the other after all the media duties and after the other was cleared for visitors and they're sitting there under shitty hospital lighting, one of them cracking jokes about being not life-threateningly injured and the other just shaking because he could've LOST him and it all suddenly shifts and makes sense in his head and there's never been a world in which losing the other wouldn't break him. and then it's the most important thing in the world to be able to taste the breath in the other person's lungs and feel his heartbeat quicken and have PROOF that he's alive and warm and not dead. is this too much? probably. but i'm DYING to hear your thoughts on how YOU would write it PLEASE!!

Okay, yeah, Landoscar injury fic lfg, let's do this. Here's how I'd do it:

The thing about me is I always have to have An Angle. I can't write straight-up fluffy comfort, I've gotta make the characters THINK first. So this is kind of not the exact same as your description, but I think I'd write it from the POV of injured Oscar. Hear me out, hang on.

tell me what you wish I'd write

So Oscar gets hurts in a crash and he's sent to the hospital, obviously. The whole way out of the car and on the way, he's like... not panicking, but not feeling well at all. Nothing makes rational sense in an ambulance, everything feels high-stakes and scary and serious and the shock is still setting in, so he can't process that well. Oscar obviously isn't very open about how he's feeling, usually, either, so being noticeably affected by things is just more stress on top as he fights to keep the cool, calm demeanor people expect out of him.

See, generally, Oscar tries not to need too much from anybody. But he's hurt and a little scared and lonely and the lingering shock combined with whatever's in his IV drip is making his emotions stronger and closer and not anywhere near as manageable as normal. Kim is there, but Oscar wants Lando telling him jokes and giving him soft eyes and holding his hand and telling him it's going to be okay, because Lando always knows how to handle new situations Oscar hasn't been in yet. And Oscar's trying so so hard to be normal about it all, but he's actually Not Okay.

I wasn't around for Vegas '23 (ironic because I was accidentally in Vegas hours after the GP, but I didn't follow F1 yet, so) but I've read a lot of post-vegas fic and it's all cute and needy Lando, which is a great genre. But I think I'd set that as Oscar's mental backdrop for this. Because they weren't even them yet in Vegas, weren't like they are now, and even still Lando asked for Oscar in the hospital and had no problem reeling him in by the hand and taking comfort from him when he needed it. And they're much closer now! Lando definitely cares a lot about him! Oscar knows that! So why is he so nervous to just ask for him?

Oscar would spend a decent amount of time trying to figure out how to ask Kim to get Lando there: thinking up excuses for why he needs Lando for something specific, reasons it makes sense, or why it might benefit everyone, but when he finally gets up the nerve to just ask, Kim is like "?? yes? Lol. Obviously Lando is coming. He's been asking about you nonstop, drove both Will and his press officer up a wall asking for updates every five seconds. He's texted me 400 times in the last 20 minutes. Lando is for sure coming, you actually don't really get a say in that one. Silly goose."

Oscar is usually so unbothered, but as soon as Lando shows up, he knows it's going to be a struggle not to lose it, because like... Lando's in the door looking adorable and concerned and Oscar NEEDS Lando so much closer. Immediately. He needs Lando holding his hand and petting his hair and whispering to him even though they don't even really do those things normally.

And Lando's worried, so he gets to Oscar's bedside and is restless. Hand on the covers, eyebrows pulled together, trying to straighten things and fluff pillows and asking about Oscar's pain levels and where he's hurt and eventually he just goes "Fuck, Oscar, can I just- I need to hug you. Please. Is that okay?"

Lando's so gentle with it, trying not to hurt his boy, but Oscar like... cannot hold it together. And so he starts breathing a little funny in his effort not to cry or do anything to show how everything is hitting at once, how he wants Lando, but Lando of course notices that something is wrong. Probably assumes he's hurting Oscar, so he pulls back, but that's the opposite of what Oscar wants. So suddenly, horrifyingly, he's tearing up, and that makes Lando panic more because he's probably never seen Oscar cry. Didn't think that was a thing Oscar did. And Oscar's shaking his head, and his heart rate monitor does not sound normal, and Lando's like "...shit. Fuck. Do you need me to call the nurse?" and Oscar is like "no, just come back. please, lando."

Lando goes, obviously, sits on the side of Oscar's bed and picks up Oscar's hand in both of his own and starts rubbing his wrist a little and saying "hey, it's okay, buddy, I've got you, I'm right here. Deep breaths, you're gonna be okay, I'm not going anywhere."

It should feel patronizing, being talked to like that, but instead it takes the anxiety back down a few notches, outside the range of imminent panic. Oscar feels like a little child again, needing to be held after scraping his knee, but he does. Need to be held, that is. So he's fighting this internal battle between needing comfort and wanting to be good and normal about the situation, and his control is softened by his pain meds so he can't school his expressions as well as normal, and soon Lando’s asking “What is it? You need more pain meds? Kim? What do you need, Osc?”

SNIPPET TIME CONGRATS !

Oscar can’t look at Lando when he says it, but he finally manages to mumble “can you come lay with me?” at the ceiling. Lando doesn't spare him a moment to second-guess before he's kicking off his shoes and climbing up, arranging Oscar's limbs a little so they’ll both fit. His arm’s around Oscar’s shoulders in a blink, and everything’s a little less overwhelming when Oscar can turn his chin just a little and smell Lando’s body wash, can twitch his fingers and touch the soft hem of Lando’s sweatshirt. Reality gets a little more tangible again, and Oscar thinks it's funny, how he feels a fraction more himself when he's pressed to Lando's side.

The beep of the heart-rate monitor fades back into ambient noise as it settles towards normal. Or normal for them, Oscar supposes. In the middle of his contemplating, Lando starts tracing the vein on the soft side of Oscar's arm, wrist to the crook of his elbow. Two fingers, one on either side, raising goosebumps across the exposed skin. The disconnect the crash had rattled into Oscar's brain shifts a little under Lando's attention, gets a little floatier and a little less disorienting. He's getting sleepier, and it's probably the last of the IV bag dripping steadily through the back of his hand, but it's nicer to believe it's Lando, chasing the drugs up towards his heart with those same two fingers. Oscar gives up one more piece, a little more control, as he snuggles a little deeper into Lando's side. He's allowed to, he thinks. Here. Like this. Lando must agree, because he hums happily at the movement and hugs Oscar even closer. Through the fog in his brain, Oscar thinks he feels lips at his temple.

"Thank you," he mumbles into the collar of Lando's t-shirt.

"Of course," Lando says, and "thank you. It's nice. To lay like this. Was worried about you."

And then, after a long moment of silence, "It's okay to need things, Osc. From anybody, but especially from me. There's not a lot I wouldn't do for you. Okay? You can always ask."

Oscar frowns, because "I don't need anything, it's not like that." His forehead wrinkles as he bats the exhaustion back. The excuse is sitting at the tip of his tongue, but he can't quite feel it out.

Lando gives him a second, then takes over again. It's a reversal, Lando finding Oscar's words for him, thumbing worries away like sweaty hair from his temple.

"It's also okay to want things, Oscar."

Oscuh.

Oscar, feeling a little braver or maybe just a little less afraid, palms his way across Lando's stomach, curls his hand around Lando's side, taps his fingers against the warm space below Lando's ribs.

"What do you want, baby?" Lando asks into the skin above his ear.

Oscar lifts his head a little, blinks through his lashes up at his teammate. He's hallucinating, or the concussion is worse than they thought, because there's no way that those words are coming out of Lando's mouth in that tone with nobody to hear them but Oscar himself. Lando's fingers drag a bit firmer against his wrist, the catch of nails sending little shivers through Oscar's limbs.

Oscar remembers Las Vegas, remembers how the same fingernails had left little white half-moons in the back of his hand, how they had taken hours to fade, and he gets it, finally.

Lando's fingers come to rest in the middle of Oscar's wrist, right over his pulse.

"Stay? Please?" Oscar says. The lips on his temple are firmer this time, impossible to explain away. "Until I can go," he adds. Lando's still pressing little kisses down the side of his face, so Oscar sums up the rest of his courage and finishes with, "And tonight." He doesn't say forever, but it's only a breath away.

And then Lando takes him home and takes care of him and it's soft and cute and Lando falls asleep listening to Oscar's heartbeat and kisses him awake in the morning and makes sure he takes his pills and he heals up and they become boyfriends the end <3

Thank you for the ask !! And for the compliments in general !! Hope this was nice for you even though it was STILL not desperate. I'm too Soft (TM).

[lainiespicewrites]

Someone to take her home

Hey guys so I wrote this a while ago! This is a Henry one shot it an OFC because I'll die on the self insert hill! LOL it gives me so much comfort. Is that weird IDK. Anyway this story is kind of heavy. I wrote this to get out some feelings about an SA that I had experienced. I've always been someone that if I'm stressed I rewrite the situation with a comforting outcome or a better outcome to release the stress or make myself feel better. I wanted to sort of write myself a way to get some comfort from the trauma. And I hope having a character like this sweet soft version of Henry may help some of you too. I never reached out for myself for help and maybe I should have but if you experienced something please talk to someone. If you need someone to talk to or just want a place to let it out my DM's are a safe space <3 Just as disclaimer this doesn't mention any of the actual situation that happened to me. Just a filler to get out the emotion. Still this is a fluff with lots of love and sweet gentle young Henry bc I just know in my soul this was and is how he is as a person!

Warnings: Light Cursing, Trauma, Mentions of sexual assault. (Please reach out for help even if it's just talking to someone about your situation. My DM's are open if y'all wanna talk after this <3)

Description: OFC goes to college party and meets Henry and they become fast friends. and he helps her when things turn bad with a guy he warned her about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared at myself in the mirror one more time. I needed to leave soon. If I looked any longer I would find something I hated and talk myself out of going. So I grabbed my bag and turned off my bedroom light. Nervous didn’t begin to describe how I was feeling. I’d never been to a party like this before. Sure I’d been out a few times in high school. But it was usually theater cast parties. And one time my friend and I stole some captain morgan from her parents liquor cabinet. But this was on an entirely different scale. 

Most of my drinking was a night in with the girls with wine or movie night drinking games. God I sound so boring. It’s not that I don’t enjoy partying. I was genuinely excited to be invited out tonight. Lilly and I had worked together for a few assignments in class. And we would say hi when we ran into each other in the dorms. But, I never expected to get a text this afternoon inviting me to her boyfriend's party. Purdue was an incredibly large campus. Upwards of 40,000 plus students. Yet somehow Lilly’s boyfriend Riley Hardesty seemed to know everyone. He was known for throwing huge parties all year. They weren’t exclusive. You could just be driving through the neighborhood and stop in.  But she told me a friend of  Riley’s had asked her about me. 

Matt Parker. I know of him. He’s in my English 204 lecture. But we’ve never talked. But he is really attractive. So maybe something good would come from all of this! I decided just to walk as my dorm wasn’t far from the house Riley and his roommates lived in. It was a cool night in mid october and I was definitely regretting the little black denim skirt I was wearing. I was smart enough to wear a cardigan but it was still cold. Thank God it's only 2 blocks down. I bit my lip nervously. Am I even going to know anyone here? Anyone I actually talk to? It’s too late now. I already got dressed and ready. I walked here. I have to go through with this. 

I took a deep breath and walked inside. Things were already full swing. I could hear the music outside before I even opened the door. No one seemed to notice me and honestly I was okay with that. I looked around scanning the room. Almost everyone had a drink in hand, standing around in groups talking. The smell of  pot hit me immediately as I started to walk through the house. I wasn’t  the least bit surprised. I made my way to the kitchen where I found multiple drinks, alcohol and mixers available. I kept it simple and grabbed a wine cooler. Something fruity. I was definitely going to need a buzz if I was going to be here longer than 5 minutes.

 I pushed my way out of the kitchen and found a quiet corner to drink and observe for a while. I was busy listening to some guys talk about last weekend's football game when I heard someone’s voice. And I realized they were talking to me. I shifted my eyes seeing a guy standing next to me. He was maybe 6’1, blue eyes, and brown hair with soft curls. I gave him a gentle smile,

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I asked. He smiled and chuckled softly. His smile was beautiful. 

“I uh, Just noticed your shirt. Are you a Def Leppard fan?” He asked. I looked down. I completely forgot that was the shirt I was wearing. I just thought a band t-shirt would look cute with the skirt. But

“Yeah! Well I know a few of their songs! My Mom was in her 20’s in the 80’s and she loved them!” I said. 

“She has good taste! They’re awesome! Are you here by yourself? Not trying to be creepy I just noticed you were by yourself over here and I wanted to make sure you were alright,” He rambled. I nodded.

“I look that out of place huh? Yeah, I um. I’m friends with Riley’s girlfriend. Well not friends necessarily. But I know her. Anyway she invited me because of some friend of Riley’s but I don’t know this isn’t normally my scene. Wow that was a lot,” I blushed. “Sorry,” I mumbled. 

“For?” He smiled, raising an eyebrow. “We’re talking. I like getting to know people! And I totally get it. This can kind of be a lot sometimes. I actually came with some friends but I needed to step away from all the crazy for a second. I’m Henry by the way.” He smiled, extending his hand. I took it and He squeezed mine softly. 

“Alayna!” I said. 

“It’s nice to meet you!” He smiled. “Which one of Riley’s friends? If you don't mind me asking,” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Matt Parker,” I said bluntly. “You know him,” Henry took a sip of his beer and nodded. 

“I do, He’s alright. We’re sort of friends I suppose. He may have good intentions. Listen, I know you don’t need my advice, but just be careful around him. I don’t know what you were expecting with him or hoping for. But he can be a little, well, if I had a daughter I wouldn’t trust him with her. But I could be wrong. I’m sorry, that was a bit much. I don't want to ruin your evening,” He said. 

“For?” I smirked copying his face from earlier. “You seem to have pure intentions. Just looking out for someone. That’s really kind of you actually. I honestly don't know what I was expecting. But I can handle myself. I didn’t really come out tonight for him. I wanted to actually let loose and have fun for once. I’ve been trying to have more adventures, meet new people, make new friends.” I smiled looking him in the eyes on that last part. He gave me a big smile and held out his beer bottle to cheers me. 

“To new friends,” He spoke and we clinked our bottles together. “I like you, I mean talking to you.” He said. 

“I like talking to you too! I was honestly super anxious about coming tonight. I was worried I’d be too anxious and awkward to have fun or it would be too much. Because this is a lot. I’m 100% sure I saw someone do coke off the kitchen counter. But I’m actually enjoying myself. Right now anyway.” I laughed. Henry chuckled. 

“Good! Well, I’m going to go find my friends but, what's your number? I’ll send you a text real quick and if you get overwhelmed or uncomfortable  or need to escape all of this for a bit come find me! Or text me. I’d be happy to be there for you.  And we can just chill out for a while.” I smiled and gave him my phone number. It was nice to meet someone as kind as Henry. You don’t meet a lot of people that… genuine and gentlemanly in places like this. He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before he walked off to find his friends. I wandered off to get another drink while I was standing in the kitchen waiting to grab another wine cooler. I felt someone lay their arm across my shoulder. 

“Hey gorgeous,” I recognized Matt’s voice. I gave him a soft smile. 

“Hi,” I spoke. 

“I’m glad you came tonight, You having a good time,” He asked, clearly buzzed. 

“Yeah,” I said tentatively “One hell of a party!” I laughed. 

“For sure!” He smiled and moved to the side of me taking his arm off my shoulder. “What are you drinking babe?” He asked. 

“Just Mike's lemonade.” I chuckled awkwardly. 

“Aw come on girl you can do something stronger than that huh?” He joked. I shook my head.

“I probably could but I’d rather not get sick.” I said. 

“Aw well come on at least do a shot with me?” He asked, giving me a puppy dog face and pouting. “Just tequila, we got training wheels!” He added. 

“I don’t know… I don’t wanna get too crazy,” I said. 

“Nah, it’ll be alright, it’ll just loosen you up a bit!” He spoke already pouring the shots. He slid one over to me. And a piece of lime. “Ready?” I picked up the shot and stared at it questioningly. 

“Alright,” He smiled. We clicked the glasses and hit them against the table before taking the shot. It was super bitter. I immediately followed it with the lime. But it didn’t help much. When I looked up again Matt had gotten me another Mike’s from the cooler.

“Atta girl!” He smirked. He took a step closer and I took the drink from him. Then I heard someone call his name from across the house. They were starting another game of beer pong. “That’s my que babe, but wait for me yeah? I’ll come back to you after this game!” He smirked and left a wet kiss on my cheek before running off to join the boys. 

Charming is certainly not a word I would use to describe him. But he’s nice. And he’s just trying to make sure I have fun. There’s no harm in that. I wandered around the party again. I opened up my new bottle and tossed the cap on a nearby coffee table. I thought about watching the beer pong game but I honestly wasn’t interested. I found the door leading to the backyard and saw there was a bonfire going. I stepped outside and found an empty seat by the fire. I watched it crackle for a bit and took a long sip of my drink. I felt a warmth inside me and knew it was coming from the alcohol. I started to relax as I listened to the fire and the white noise of the people chatting around me. It was a gorgeous night.

“Hey!” I heard a voice from behind me. “Funny meeting you out here!” Henry spoke, pulling up a chair next to me.

“Hey!” I said excitedly. “It’s calm out here. I like it!” I said. Henry smiled. 

“I do too, I love a good fire. Fuels the soul.” He half joked. 

“ I love the smell! Is that weird?” I laughed. 

“No,” He chuckled softly “Not at all! So, besides the band on that very cool shirt, What other music do you like?” Henry asked, leaning back in his chair and taking a long swig of his beer. 

“Oh all kinds. I’m a big lover of the stuff from the 70s though! Elton John, Heart, the Beatles, I guess they’re technically 60’s. I know it’s kind of old school but. I feel like they just don’t make music like that anymore.” I explained. 

“Classic! I like it,” He smiled. 

“What about you?” I asked. 

“Oh I’m all over the place too. I’m actually a big country fan!” He smirked. 

“I wouldn’t have expected that from you but I respect it. It’s not my favorite genre but there are definitely some good ones there!” I smiled. Henry and I chatted for a while. We talked about our majors. He's a history major. Where we’re from, he has an accent but I didn’t want to ask and be weird about it. He told me he’s from the UK. We talked about books, history and our friends. It was nice. A little while later I felt an arm around my shoulder again. I knew it was Matt. 

“There she is! Did you think I forgot about you babe?” He asked. 

“No,” I smiled blushing softly. He smiled. 

“Hey Henry! Are you having a good time, man?” He asked. Henry nodded and finished his beer. 

“Yeah! Actually I should go get another one. It was nice talking to you Alayna!” He smiled at me before he got up and left. I don’t know why but I could tell Henry wasn’t the biggest fan of Matt. He said they were friends earlier but I think he was just trying to be nice

I was shaken from the thought when I heard Matt’s voice again. 

“Hey, follow me!” He said enthusiastically. 

“Okay,” I smiled. I got up and followed him back inside. He led us upstairs and down the hall to what I assume was his room. 

“Too many people out there, I wanted to be alone with you,” He smiled. 

“That’s really sweet! It is pretty crowded.” I said. 

“Yeah,” He said blankly. “Are you enjoying the party?” He asked. 

“I am,” I said half telling the truth. I enjoyed talking to Henry. 

“God you’re so gorgeous,” He said. “I always want to talk to you in class but you always leave so quickly I never get the chance.” He said. 

“Thank you,” I blushed. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked. I don’t know if I wanted it or if it was the alcohol but I nodded. He smirked and leaned in kissing me on the lips. It was gentle at first but then he quickly started using tongue. I felt kind of awkward. So I backed away. “Oh sorry, you okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” I lied. He just nodded and went back to kissing me. I kissed him back a bit but then I felt him start to feel me up. I froze. I really didn’t want that. He moved his hand under my shirt and I stopped him. 

“Uh Matt, I really don’t know about this.” I said nervously. He pulled back 

“It’s fine, nobody's gonna come in, don't worry about it.” He said and started kissing my neck. Oh god this sucks. 

“No I mean. I don’t… want to do this.” I stuttered. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun babe, it’ll be alright.” He kept feeling me up and continued kissing me. I felt stuck. He pushed himself against me, grinding into me. He moaned. I swallowed hard. Fuck, I really didn’t want this. 

“No, Matt, I really don’t want to.” I said again. 

“Shhh just go with it.” he said, shushing me. “You’ll enjoy it, I promise.” He said, sliding his hand under my skirt and rubbing his fingers against me. 

“No, stop Matt,” I said again, my voice quivering. He was definitely stronger than me. He used his other hand to take himself out of his shorts and he grabbed my hand putting it on him while he kept touching me, forcing his fingers inside. It hurt. I don’t know how but finally I found the strength to push him away from me. He stumbled back and fell against the bed and I ran out of the room. I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes already but I had to get out of this house. I quickly ran down the stairs and out the front door. Matt was pretty drunk so I don’t even think he tried to follow me. I walked a little way down the street and stopped letting out a sob. What the hell just happened. How did I let that happen? How could I have been stupid enough to trust him or follow him? I didn’t know what to do. I probably should have headed back to the dorm but I didn’t want to be alone right now. I took to my phone trying to think of who to talk to. 

I saw I had a text. It was Henry. “Hey it’s me! Henry I mean lol feel free to text me anytime.” I sent him a quick text taking a deep breath and trying to pull myself together. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I was so stupid. He tried to warn me. 

“Hey, it’s Alayna, where are you?” I sent it. To my surprise he responded almost immediately. 

“By the fire, You okay?” it read. 

“Would you wanna go on a walk with me?” I asked. There’s no way I could go back there. 

“Sure :) where are you?” 

“On the front sidewalk like 3 houses down toward campus.” 

“Be right there!” true to his word about 2 minutes later I saw him walking down the sidewalk toward me. 

“How are you?” He asked. 

“Good,” I nodded absentmindedly. 

“Were you leaving?” He asked.

I um,” I stuttered “Yeah, it was just… too much. I was gonna head home. I feel stupid I was just gonna walk home. I'll be fine, I’ll let you have fun. I don’t wanna interrupt your night.” I rambled. 

“No! Please do! I’d be happy to walk you home. Talking with you was the most fun I had tonight actually.” He stated simply. I smiled weakly.

“I’m glad.” I said. 

“Are you alright?” He asked me. I sighed trying not to get emotional. 

“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed and tired.” I lied. We walked in silence for a bit. I couldn’t believe how kind he was. The fact that he would leave his friends to walk me home. He was genuinely concerned about me. That feeling made me even more overwhelmed and finally after everything I could help but start crying. I felt like I had no control over my body as I started to sob. I felt my shoulders start to shake. Henry stopped and put his hands on my shoulders.

“Alayna what's wrong?” He asked me. I tried so hard to speak.

“He wouldn’t.. And I said… no, but he kept…” it all came out in broken sobs. Henry didn’t say anything. He just pulled me into him and hugged me tightly. After a few seconds. I started to calm down and tried to steady my breathing. 

“Shh it’s alright,  just breathe.” I heard him say. I slowed my breathing. “Did he touch you?” He asked gently, trying not to upset me again. I couldn’t speak, I just nodded. Henry went stiff. I looked up and saw his jaw was clenched. “Mother fucker,” He mumbled quietly under his breath. Then he spoke louder “Do you want to go talk to someone? Like report it?” He asked. Again his voice was gentle. I shook my head. 

“I can’t, I know I should but I really can’t, not now.” I said. He nodded. 

“Okay, well let's get you home.” He said. I started to walk again. Henry kept an arm around me as we walked. We were quiet the whole way there. He walked me all the way to the door. Wanting to make sure I got in okay.

“Thank you,” I said. But just as he turned to leave I grabbed his hand. “Wait, please don’t go.” I said, trying not to sound desperate. Not that I had the energy to care. 

“You want me to stay?” he asked. I nodded. 

“Yeah, no, I .. I don’t .. You don’t have to, I’ll be okay.” I said. 

“Hey,” He paused, grabbing my hand. “It’s okay, I don’t mind.” So I took off my shoes and slipped into the bathroom to change into some shorts. I laid in my bed and Henry sat next to me. “Do you want to watch something?” He asked. I nodded. And turned on my TV scrolling aimlessly. I stopped on some old 90’s sitcom. 

“Thank you, for staying,” I said. 

“You shouldn’t be alone right now. And I meant what I said. I had more fun talking to you tonight than with anyone else.” He smiled sympathetically. 

“I did too,” I said.  I sat up going to kiss him but he stopped me.

“Not tonight, darling. Believe me I would love to kiss you. But I think you’ll regret it later if you do this now. I like you. I’m not going anywhere. Let's take this slow. You’ve been through a lot tonight. I’ll still be here when you’re ready. But I think tonight you need to rest.” he said. The universe gave me Henry tonight. If I hadn’t ran into him. I’d have been alone after being sexually assaulted by a guy I barely know. Any other guy wouldn’t have treated me like him. He was so gentle and respectful. He was genuinely looking out for my best interest when he could’ve taken advantage of my vulnerability. I just nodded.

“I’m sorry that was stupid.” I sighed. 

“No, it wasn’t” he put his arm around me pulling me into his side and I naturally rested my head on his chest. “You don’t need to apologize. Try to get some rest.” He spoke gently. I could hear his heartbeat and my breath slowed to match the rhythm. Eventually so did he. I looked up to find him asleep with his arm still around me. I settled in snuggling into his side. All the noise around me slowly faded away and I finally got to rest, falling asleep in Henry’s arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That’s it you guys please let me know what you think. I love you all so much! You’ve shown my writing so much love 🥰

[theredengineapologist]

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone! 💙❤

Of course, I had to do something Jameward for the occasion. Even though this meme is literally called "Understand my Ship in 5 Minutes", I still wanted to include some commentary/headcanons because I've been DYING to talk about them forever. So if you're interested, read on under the cut!

(Also, please note that the interpretation of the characters depicted here is specifically for my AU, TTTE: Sudrian Boys)

NAMES: For the sake of making sure their names fit in the boxes, I used the last names they picked for themselves before they got married. When they do eventually get legally married, they'll combine their last names together (a conclusion they got to after much bickering). So respectively, they will be James and Edward Hughes-Pettigrew.

GENDER + SEXUALITY:

James is GAY. GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY. Sorry not sorry, but there is not a woman-liker bone in his body.

Edward, on the other hand is bi. Part of me thinks he tends to prefer the company of men, but maybe that's just because there's significantly more male engines on Sodor. Also he is nonbinary. This will be something I explore later. But to summarize, Edward never felt entirely male in the strict sense that humans define it. However, he felt the need to be the consistent, steady, "old reliable" his peers saw him as, so he never questioned what others chose to call him. This changed when "The Great Shift" happened (aka, the engines learning to shift into a human-like form). Edward saw an opportunity to experiment with his presentation, and so he had a brief stint where he tried going in the opposite direction, presenting as a woman named Alice. As fun as it was, however, he found that it didn't feel quite right either. To him, "Edward" was where he felt most at home. He's not a man or a woman, he is just "Edward". Edward uses "he/they" pronouns because those feel the most neutral to them.

HORNY LEVEL: I will not be elaborating.

AWKWARDNESS LEVEL: I don't think Edward and James ever really had an "awkward phase". Before they got together, they always felt comfortable with each other as close friends would. They never really had that thing of "oh I want to tell him I like him but I also don't want him to know". Edward always knew he liked James, he just didn't say anything because he didn't think James was interested. And once James admitted to himself that he liked Edward, he confessed and it was all smooth sailing from there. To be honest, not much changed when they moved from "close friends" to "boyfriends". They still act like close friends, just with added kissing privileges.

JEALOUSY LEVEL: At the point where they're at in their relationship right now, both James and Edward are pretty secure, so it's rare for either of them to act jealous.

From Edward's perspective, he knows that James is young (relatively speaking) and very attractive, so it's hardly surprising to see that other people would try to flirt with him. There's a small pang of jealousy that comes from him thinking James would have preferred someone younger or stronger, but that quickly goes away once he sees James return to being on his arm and very proudly proclaiming he's already spoken for.

From James's perspective, he thinks Edward is the real catch between the two of them. Plus, it's not often that other people would try to shoot their shot with the silver fox. So when other people do try to get a little too close for comfort, James would certainly be stewing in jealousy. If the feeling gets to a certain point, he'd probably make himself known. But once they get home, the situation gets explained out, and they're cuddling on the couch with a blanket and some tea, James finds he can let go of the jealous feeling relatively quickly.

BIG SPOON/LITTLE SPOON: Majority of the time, James is the little spoon. He likes to be held and Edward LOVES holding him. James's favorite thing is when Edward keeps their hand on his chest. But occasionally, they do switch places, especially if Edward has a particularly hard day. Sometimes Old Iron wants to be cuddled too.

LENDS/BORROWS CLOTHES: Both of them tend to steal borrow clothes from each other, but under different circumstances.

At home, it's relatively commonplace to see Edward walking around in one of James's pants, shirts, or even his prized red coat. But more often than not, these are cases of Edward just picking them up of his own accord and James just letting him have it.

Outside, it's James who more actively does the borrowing and Edward who does the lending. James likes to go out ✨IN STYLE✨ without taking into consideration pesky things like the weather. So when James (inevitably) gets cold at night, Edward is the one to lend him his jacket.

PET NAMES: They don't use pet names often, but they do use some of the more basic ones on occasion. For James, Edward would sometimes call him "Jamie", "darling", "dear", or his personal favorite, "love". James usually calls Edward by his full name because Edward prefers it, but sometimes he might slip in an "Eddie", "baby", or a "kitten" in there just to make the old man flustered.

AFFECTION THROUGH WORDS/ACTIONS: This one might seem paradoxical, but let me explain.

James is more receptive to affection through words because he's used to being dismissed. In his worst moments, he can be pretty down on himself as his insecurities eat away at him. At times like these, Edward knows exactly what to say to help James pick himself back up again. It's especially meaningful because Edward absolutely means everything he says. He's not the type to lie just to make James feel better. He's honest and straightforward. If James did something wrong that needs calling out, Edward will tell him (politely of course). So when Edward tells James that he's wonderful or that he's a "really splendid engine", he 100% means it. And you can tell from just the look in his eyes that Edward loves his red boyfriend SO DAMN MUCH.

Conversely, Edward is more receptive to affection through actions. Edward is always the one out caring for everyone else and tends to forget to care for himself too. But at the same time, he's very much the type to never ask for help (even if he needs it). James knows this, so he goes the extra mile to help take some of the load off. If Edward is especially tired one day, James will step up and do Edward's share of the housekeeping without being asked. He'll volunteer to go supervise Bill and Ben so that Edward can take a day off. He'll fix up a warm bath for Edward after a hard day. Anything to make sure Edward is taken care of, James will do it. Not only that, but James is also the one planning most of their dates. ;)

CONFESSING:

Edward NEVER had any plans to confess to James. Romantic relationships are uncommon amongst engines since there's no real use for them. Plus, he didn't think James would be interested in a plain old iron like himself (as he views himself anyway). So Edward was just content to just feel his feelings and never act on them.

James, on the other hand, took several years to both realize and accept that he was in love with Edward. But once he got to that point, he confessed fairly quickly. Sure, there was a normal amount of hesitation and worry that Edward might not feel the same. But he was about 90% sure that Edward loved him back so he didn't end up worrying that much leading up to the confession.

CAN'T DRIVE LOL: Even as engines, they can't drive themselves. Plus, they know trains are the superior way to travel. So if they ever need to go somewhere while shifted into humans, they just catch one of their friends' trains. I don't think they've ever even sat in a car before.

COOKING: Edward loves to cook (especially baking). It was one of the first hobbies he picked up after learning how to shift and he would often make meals to share for the entire Steam Team. James, on the other hand, can cook, but not nearly as well as Edward. He doesn't know as many dishes as Edward. Even the ones they both know, James's, for some reason, aren't as good. The only time James would ever take over cooking is if Edward is feeling too exhausted to do so. There's a mutual acknowledgement between them (and also the rest of the Steam Team) that Edward is the superior chef (and he also enjoys it more). So if he can help it, James prefers to leave the cooking to Edward.

PDA: James absolutely LOVES PDA. He will take literally every opportunity he can to dote on Edward in public so that the entire island knows that they're together, much to Edward's embarrassment. Edward secretly loves the PDA too, and he appreciates how proud James is to be his boyfriend (and later husband). But Edward would never admit it. He tries really hard to at least appear decent in public. That said, when the opportunity arises, Edward does like getting to flip the script and fluster James in front of onlookers.

OVERPROTECTIVE/CHILL GOING: Both are more than reasonably protective over each other, but for different reasons and under different circumstances.

James gets into accidents relatively often, usually as the result of his own dumbassery. So Edward has gotten to a point where he's not too concerned if James winds up in an accident again. He'll still worry a little and warn James to be more careful next time, but Edward knows after a trip to the Steamworks that his boyfriend will be good as new again.

It's when they're shifted into humans when Edward becomes more protective of James.

Because of the way James looks, it's unfortunately not uncommon for James to get harassed while shifted as a human. When this happens, Edward goes into full protective mode to make sure his beloved stays safe. Thankfully, it doesn't happen too often. But it does happen often enough that Edward feels like he has to keep close watch of James while they're traveling after nightfall.

James, on the other hand, always has a bit of worry for Edward at the back of his mind. He knows Edward is capable of handling himself, but he also knows that Edward is old and doesn't recover from accidents as quickly or easily as he does. He worries that if the damage is too great, Edward could be scrapped. So if Edward were to end up in any sort of accident, James would go ballistic. He's puffing over right away to make sure his beloved is okay and may or may not have a fierce word with whoever caused the accident. The same thing goes when they are in human form. If Edward were to end up in some sort of fight, James would put himself in harms way to make sure Edward is protected (even though in human form, Edward is actually physically stronger than James).

RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCE: Neither of them had any relationship experience before each other, they were each other's firsts. You can maybe argue that Edward has slightly more experience because he's had crushes on other people in the past, but fleeting attraction that is never pursued could hardly count for true experience. Their whole relationship is something that James and Edward are navigating together. It's new and at times a little scary, but there's nobody else James and Edward would rather be with than each other.

[rowyn-writes]

Cinnamon and Sugar

Chapter Five

Warnings: Self hate, mentions of abusive ex, mentions of a minor character death, fluff

Characters: Reader, Dean, Michael, Jo

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

You had been living with Dean for five weeks now, and everything felt surprisingly normal. You both woke up early in the morning for work, so you got to have breakfast together. You liked having someone to talk to before going to work.

It was five in the morning as you and Dean shuffled around the kitchen in a comfortable silence. You had made some eggs and bacon for the both of you while Dean got ready for work. Since Dean passed the coffee shop to get to work, he would drop you off, and in return, you made him coffee to get him ready for the day. 

"Mornin' sweetheart." Dean grumbles as he comes out of his room, yawning. His hair was still tousled from sleep. You chuckle softly at the sight.

"Morning, Dean. Forget to brush your hair?" You snorted. Dean laughs as he smooths down his hair.

"Maybe I was trying out a new style, Y/n, ever think of that?" He sniffed, pretending to be mad.

"Aw, c'mon now, you never change up your routine, so I find that highly unlikely. And besides, you can't be mad at me forever, I made you breakfast." You set his plate down on the table, pouring a glass of orange juice for him.

"I got damn lucky to have you as a roommate." He sighed happily as he ruffles your hair before sitting down at the table, tucking into his breakfast.

"I could say the same." You smile as you eat with him. Storm was still asleep on the window seal. Despite Dean buying a cat bed for him to get into his good graces, the cat refused to actually sleep in the bed. He just sniffed at it before going back to what he was doing.

Once you and Dean were finished with breakfast, he took the plates and put them in the dishwasher, starting a load. You went and grabbed your apron for work before heading out the door with Dean, sliding into his beautiful Impala. "I hope you know that if I actually still drove, I'd totally wanna take Baby for a joyride." You joked.

Dean laughs softly, his eyes crinkling up at the edges. "You're more than welcome to drive her anytime you need, sweetheart. I won't stop you."

"Oh, um, nah." You shook your head gently. "I don't really drive anymore. I um, I got into a really bad car crash about a year ago and I don't really drive anymore because of it." It was the first time you had really talked about the car crash with anyone other than Jo or Jack.

"I'm sorry to hear about that sweetheart. Was everyone alright?" He frowns, looking over at you.

"Oh, um, yeah, I just had a broken arm. . . The other driver was okay too." 

Dean could tell that you wanted to drop the subject. "So, I was thinking, you don't work tomorrow, right? And you're done with exams?"

"Yeah, why?" You tilt your head curiously.

"Well," Dean said as he pulled into the parking lot of Chuck's. "I was thinking that tonight we go to my favorite bar and have some drinks, my treat. They're having karaoke tonight too, and I think it would be a lot of fun."

You mulled it over for a moment. You didn't drink much, but you thought this would be a good chance to get to know Dean a little better and let loose some. "I think that'd be a lot of fun, actually." You give him a gentle smile. 

"Perfect, I get off work tonight at 5. I'll pick you up and take you home on my lunch break, I don't want you walking home alone or anything." Dean gives you a boyish grin, the one that you had come to adore. 

"Thanks, Dean, you have no idea how much I appreciate your kindness." And it was true. Dean was kind to you when it felt like you hit rock bottom. Being evicted from you apartment was rough, and you never expected him to offer his home up to you. Even though you hadn't known Dean long, you trusted him, and it seems that he trusted you. You hated to think about where you'd be without him right now.

"Don't mention it, sweetheart. I'm just glad I could help you out. I've been where you've been before. My life has never been put together in the slightest, and there was a time when I had no place to go. I really could have used some help, and I want to be that person for you." He said softly, looking over at you.

"Well, I know I'm not much, but I'm here, and I can be the support you need. We can help each other." You offer him a gentle smile.

"I like the sound of that, Y/n, thank you." You lean over and give him a quick hug. 

"I'll see you on your lunch break, then. Let me go make your coffee really quick." You went in and unlocked the doors, making Dean a brown sugar latte and grabbed him a scone before bringing it out to him. "Have a good day at work." I reach through the window and ruffle his hair before heading back inside to tackle the day.

Jo was the next person scheduled to come in, and you hoped it was one of those rare days that she was actually on time. You had talked to her many times before about her punctuality, but it never seemed to stick with her. She was your best friend, and you didn't want to have to reprimand her, but it seemed that it was going to have to come to that. Thankfully, she was on time today, and you didn't have to say anything to her.

"Thank god my car started." She said as she walked in, clocking in on the computer. "I was scared she wasn't gonna crank. I really need a new car."

"Well, you're here, that's all that matters. Today's a Wednesday, so I'm expecting it to be a good day for us. This is usually our dead day, so I think it should be okay with just the two of us until eleven when Maddison comes in."

The day went off without a hitch, the customers were nice, it was a slow day, and everything seemed peaceful. That is, until the end of your shift. Dean was on his lunch break and he was waiting for you to clock out so he could take you home. He didn't mind hanging out in the coffee shop, as he found it rather peaceful. The front door dinged, signaling that there was a customer inside. "Hey, welcome to Chuck's! We'll be right w-" You broke off as you stared up at the man in front of you. Michael. You could feel your heart pounding out your chest as he glared down at you. You hadn't seen him in nearly two months, what made him want to come confront you now?

"We need to talk." He said gruffly, crossing his arms over his chest. He was 6'3 and he towered over you. It was something that had always intimidated you, especially when you were together.

"We have nothing to talk about. You need to leave." You tried to make your voice sound strong and determined, but it came out as just a small squeak. You hated the affect he had on you. For years he made you feel small, and even after the break up, he could still make you feel that way.

"Oh we have plenty to talk about, Y/n. Like how one day you just changed the locks to the apartment and had all of my stuff sitting out in the hall?"

"And you're just now wanting to talk about this, huh? You had nearly two months to reach out to me and to talk about this, but you picked now as the prime opportunity? When I'm at work?"

"Oh please," He scoffed. "You can hardly call this a job. Besides, I've been busy with other things." Dean's head perked up at the sound of arguing. He looked over at you and Michael. He could clearly tell you were in distress.

"Michael, just fucking leave. You're not welcomed here. Our relationship is over and there's absolutely nothing for us to talk about. You cheated, you were abusive, you were a shitty ass boyfriend. What else do you want me to say? I've listed a billion reasons as to why we broke up and you still can't accept that."

"Don't speak to me like that." He grabbed your wrist. "I guess I better teach you some manners." You try to pull away from his grasp. Before you could even shout for help, a fist connected with Michael's jaw. 

Dean looked pissed as he grabbed Michael by the shirt, slamming him against the wall. "What kind of pathetic coward lays hands on a woman?" He growled as he punched him again. "Come near Y/n ever again, and I swear to God himself, there will not be anything stopping me from beating you within an inch of your sad life. Got it?!"

You had never seen Dean so angry before, let alone get physical with someone. "And what's it to you, huh?! Why the hell do you care for some whore so much? Oh, I get it, you're fucking her, huh?" Michael laughed, throwing his head back.

Dean said nothing in return as he punched him once more before throwing him out to door. "Don't ever come near her again." Dean snarled before going to check on you. "Are you alright? He didn't hurt you, did he? I swear to God-"

"Dean. . ." You hugged him tightly. "I'm okay, he didn't hurt me. . . Thank you for sticking up for me." You whisper, tears in your eyes. Maddison and Jo watched as Dean wrapped his arms around you protectively. 

"No one's going to hurt my best girl on my watch, I promise you that." He said lowly, gently rubbing your back. "I'm guessing he's your ex boyfriend?"

"Yeah, he is. . . I thought I was finally free of him, but he keeps popping back up like an infectious disease." You were holding back tears, not wanting to cry in front of Dean.

"C'mon sweetheart, let's get out of here." He wrapped his arm around you and led you out to his car. "Do you need me to stay with you? I can tell Bobby something came up." 

You shook your head gently. "No, that's okay. . . I don't want to impose. I'll be okay until you get off work tonight. . . Honestly, I don't even what to think about what just happened. And it doesn't even surprise me that he came here. I guess I was just hoping he'd forget about me." You ramble on, looking at your hands.

"You wouldn't be imposing, sugar." He said, his voice soft and gentle. "If you need me, I'm here, okay? There's not much goin' on at the shop today, so Bobby can afford to be on his own for the rest of the day."

You felt tears brim your eyes as you kept looking at your hands, refusing to look Dean in the eye. "I-I could use some company. . . If t-that's okay." You whispered quietly. Dean tilts your head up gently with his finger so you would look at him.

"I'll stay with you as long as you need, darlin'." He then surprised you by kissing your head. He was so caring and gentle with you, which was something you weren't used to. He drove back to the house, letting you pick the music for the drive. Once you got back, he called Bobby and explained the situation before following you inside. He grabbed some blankets and popped some popcorn. "So, what movie should we watch? Comedy, rom-com, action?" 

"You really don't have to do this for me, Dean. . ." You felt like a burden. You made Dean call out of work just so he could sit here and watch a movie with you. You were an awful friend and roommate.

"You're right, I don't have to, but I want to. . . You're my best friend, Y/n, I want to make sure that you're okay. You've had a stressful day, and you need to unwind a bit. Plus, work was slow, wasn't much for me to do. I'd much rather sit here with my favorite girl and cheer her up." He sits down beside you, draping his arm on the back of the couch. 

You leaned into his side, resting your head on his shoulder as you let the tears flow. "I-I just want to be rid of him. He never let's me have any peace."

"Shh," Dean whispered softly, running his fingers through your hair. "I'm here sweetheart. . . He won't hurt you as long as I'm around, okay?" He kissed your head again, making you feel comfort. Storm jumped up on the couch, settling himself in your lap, purring softly. "See, darlin'? Even Storm's here to help you." That made the tears stream down your face harder. It felt like you couldn't breathe. Everything that you had held in from the break up came bursting out all at once, despite your attempts at pushing it down. Dean held you in his arms as you cried. "Breathe, Y/n, I need you to breathe for me, okay?" He murmured gently. You tried to breathe, but it just came out as choked sobs. Your body was shaking as you cried. Dean let you know that he was here, and that you were safe. You knew he was right. Being in his arms was the safest place for you. You knew that Dean would never hurt you, and that he would do everything in his power to protect you. 

Once you had calmed down, you found your voice. "Thank you for being here." Your voice was raw and hoarse from crying. Dean didn't mention it, he just smiled softly, kissing your temple.

"Of course, sweetheart. What are friends for?" He continued to run his fingers through your hair, as he could tell that's what was keeping you grounded. "We don't have to go out tonight, we can go some other time, I'm sure that you're tired after the day you've had."

You thought it over for a moment. "Actually, I think I still want to go out tonight. . . I just need to feel normal, and show that what he did doesn't get to me." You state confidently.

Dean grins at your confidence. "That's my girl." He let you get ready for your night out with him. You picked a pair faded ripped jeans from your draw, a black blouse, and a black leather jacket. You combed through your hair, trying to find a style you liked, eventually settling on having it braided. You came out of your room with a smile. Dean let out a low whistle as he saw you.

"You clean up nicely, darlin'." He grins. He was wearing a green flannel over a black shirt that fit him nicely and a pair of faded blue jeans. You couldn't help but smile at the compliment. 

"Thanks, De. Shall we get going?" You grab you wallet as Dean grabs his keys.

"Let's go." He smiles, resting a hand on the small of your back as he leads you out the door. You were very aware of his hand against your back. But you shouldn't be thinking about that. Dean was your friend and roommate. You couldn't risk anything. You slid into the Impala as Dean going into the drivers seat. You grinned as the car roared to life. The car was absolutely gorgeous, and you'd love to have an old car like this. That is, if you still drove. Past pains rear its ugly head into your thoughts, making you think of things you wish you could forget. You push it aside. Tonight was about having fun with your best friend.

You showed the bouncer your ID and you were let into the bar with Dean. It was packed since it was karaoke night. You and Dean slid up to the bar, you ordered your favorite drink and Dean got a whiskey and coke. "So, ya thinking about gettin' up there and singing?" Dean smirked as he looked to you.

"Me? Nah, I can't really sing." You shrugged.

"One, that's bullshit. I hear you singing in the shower all the time and you sound amazing. And two, no one who sings karaoke can sing. I'll do it with you if you sing." He offered you up a smile. You could never resist that boyish smile he had.

"I hate you, I hope you know that." Despite your words, you couldn't help the smile that spread across your face.

"Say what you want sweetheart. But hey, you get to pick the song and I can't complain."

"Oh really?" You smirked. "So if I picked a Taylor Swift song, you wouldn't say anything?"

"Hey, I can get down with TSwizzle, okay?" Dean held up his hands in defense. You couldn't help the laughter that racked through your body. 

"You did not just say TSwizzle-" You continued to laugh, Dean joining in.

"All I'm sayin' is that you can pick whatever song you like."

You went up to the karaoke machine, scrolling through until you found the perfect duet for you two. I Remember Everything by Zach Bryan and Kacey Musgraves. "We're up next." You grin as you pull Dean towards the stage. Dean followed you up on stage, grabbing the mic. "Ready?" Dean nods as the song starts. Despite having never heard the song, he did it justice. You never knew Dean could sing. When you sang your parts together, Dean smiled over at you, his eyes gleaming. Once the song was over, he helped you down from the stage.

"Y/n, you were amazing! I knew you had a good voice, but damn, that was beautiful." He praised you, gently patting your shoulder.

"Me? Dean, I had no idea you could sing like that. You were fantastic!" You gently punch his shoulder.

Dean chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck as the tip of his ears turn pink. "Thank you, sweetheart, I appreciate it." He grinned.

"Aaand I think that some of the girls over there found your singing attractive." You chuckled as you looked over to a group of girls that were eyeballing Dean. "You should go talk to them!" You encouraged.

"Nah," He shook his head. "This night is about you and me, and celebrating our friendship." He gave you a smile. You couldn't help the small butterflies you felt in your stomach. Instead of going off with a girl, he wanted to spend time with you. But at the same time, you felt bad, because you felt like you were keeping him from having a fun time.

You felt like screaming at yourself, because you always did this. Every time there was something good going in your life, you found a way to get in your head and overthink things. You wished you could turn those voices in your head off. Sometimes those voices got particularly loud, especially in times like these. You tried to push them away and have a good time with Dean, but you couldn't help it.

"You okay, Y/n? You got really quiet all of a sudden." Dean said softly. Damnit, he knew you too well.

"Oh, yeah, it's um, it's just been a long day, y'know?" You cleared your throat, looking up at him.

"We can head home if you'd like?" He suggested, tilting his head to the side.

"No no, I'd hate to be a bother. You look like you're having so much fun, and I don't want to ruin that." You spoke softly.

"Sweetheart, if you're tired or you just don't feel up to being here anymore, you can tell me. I won't be upset. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or feel like you have to stay for my sake. Besides, I don't care where we are, as long as we're together, I'm happy to spend time with you."

You gave him a soft smile. "I just don't think I'm in the right headspace right now." You sighed. "It's just been a long day with a lot going on. . . I promise to make it up to you."

"Don't worry about it, Y/n, we can just spend some time together and watch a movie if you'd like?"

"I'd really like that, De. . . Thank you." You whispered gently. Dean ruffled your hair and went to pay for the tab. You rode home in a comfortable silence as Dean hummed along to the radio. You were stuck in your own head again, per usual. You were leaned against the window, feeling the cool glass on your cheek.

"Are you sure everything's alright, sweetheart?" He asked, looking over to you. "You've been awfully quiet."

"I dunno, I'm just really struggling mentally today. After everything that happened this afternoon, I just feel so. . . empty?"

"I get it darlin'. What do you need? Do you need some time by yourself, or do you wanna curl up on the couch with me and watch some Dr. Sexy MD?" He questioned, his voice gentle.

"I think that spending some time with you could help. . ." You couldn't help but smile. You felt safe with Dean, and even though you were having a tough time, you knew that everything was going to be okay as long as you were with him.

[justchillandshipit]

Let me just pick apart this interview.

It was great to see him smile because my heart has been breaking for him all season. It seems like the priest said what he needed to hear, but why do you think it was a priest who he needed to hear that from rather than Bobby, Buck, or anyone else in his life?

"I think sometimes when you’re too close to the person, the message doesn’t really hold. So it does take a third party to come in and give you some outside influence. What better than a—I mean, we’ve all known that Eddie has Catholic— [Laughs] He likes to be a Catholic, but then he doesn’t, and he kind of goes back and forth. So who better than a priest to come over and save the day?"

---

Hummm. Ok. I think I'm more confused with this answer.

---

And it feels like he needed to be out of the church, though, for that.

Yes, yes, yes. It’s unconventional for a Catholic to obviously get any kind of that outside of the church, which I think we all know Eddie’s unconventional. So it did take the priest coming out and meeting him on his own ground and really just making it a grounded message. It wasn’t like a priest talking to one of his subordinates; it was just a man talking to another man and giving him great advice.

---

Ok. This is a little more clear.

---

When I spoke with Tim yesterday, he said that Eddie has to figure himself out. What do you think Eddie has to figure out now that he is moving forward?

"I think anything that you do in the beginning, you do it really, really bad. So I think finding love for yourself, if you haven’t done it, you’re probably going to be really bad at it. So although I love the scene of him dancing and giving him opportunity to be like, “Here’s the great first step.” After that first step, it’s going to be a little difficult for him. “Now, where do I go? I did the Risky Business. I did my dream, but how do I implement that in my day-to-day life?” So it will be very interesting to see how Eddie is trying to attain this new version of himself."

Yeah, I was going to say, even though there was some joy in that, it doesn’t mean that everything is fixed. Now he knows he can move forward. Are we going to see something in between the heartbreak and the joy going forward?

"I think it’ll be more awkwardness, more like him trying to reach out of his comfort zone and not being great at it, so relying on his teammates, his 118 family, and just kind of bouncing ideas and bouncing personalities, I guess. Trying to figure out himself out. Yeah, it’ll be awkward, funny. It’ll be a bunch of different things. I had fun playing with Eddie."

---

Credit to the interviewer. He tried to nail him with these questions.

---

When you say outside his comfort zone, what do you mean specifically?

Nothing too extreme. More just maybe him being a little happier when he used to be a little sadder or more somber or more quiet and reserved, him being a little bit more outspoken. I can’t really say too much, but I would say that it’s not some extreme change for him. It’s a slow and steady change for him, but he is a semi-control freak, so I would think that any small change feels like a big change to him.

---

Is this what people are worried about? If Eddie had some sort of epiphany with his sexuality, it would be extreme? Maybe? But then he says It's a slow and steady change. Okay. Okay. I'm not going to worry. I've said since last season that if the show is going to reveal Eddie as a gay character, it will be this season so I'm going to stick with that. (Honestly, I'm more concerned about last-minute changes from ABC because there is about to be a strong shift in forcing Americans to live according to Evangelical values.) That is the last I'll say on that for now. I don't want to speculate on my real-world fears. 911 is golden. I'll worry more when the regime changes.

---

Is a relationship or even thinking about one on his radar at this point? It feels like he has a lot to work through before he can even think about that.

"Absolutely not. Yeah. There is not one relationship in his head. I believe that Eddie is just so focused on what he needs to be doing as a good man that before he does anything else with a good woman, he needs to solidify that."

---

Ohhh. I bet this is what has everyone worried. I don't have the confidence that other people have when they say with absolute certainty that the actor is lying. I believe it is possible he is lying, but sometimes a rose is just a rose. I'm sticking with my original statement. I'm giving it this season.

---

What else is coming up for Eddie?

"We have a lot of funny moments with Eddie. I’ve been having a good time playing around with Eddie and allowing him to try and figure—he’s not going to be good at trying to figure out how he loves himself and how to go about it, but just a lot of playful moments, almost childlike moments where Eddie is just kind of reconnecting with himself and in that sense, maybe he’s kind of reconnecting with Christopher without knowing it. So he’s building into this person that I think he could be proud of. And where that leads is something—a new chapter is yet to unfold in the next couple episodes."

---

Okay. Okay. This is promising. This puts us back at possibly a big reveal in episode 8 before hiatus. I've set myself up for a big reveal in 5 and 6. It didn't happen in either, so my track record is not great. At least we will not have to wait long to find out. Also, I'm impressed with how Ryan handled the interview. Usually when he is trying to keep from revealing anything, he goes into this weird place and is completely nonsensical. He held his own in this one.

If you want to skip me and just read the article, here you go.

[meabh-mcinness]

Peppermint

(Alternatively known as 'Pest Control')

Main Masterlist

Living in the human world had meant learning tips and tricks to keep pests at bay while still enjoying small luxuries. Such as using lavender to deter bed bugs the one time you bought and forgot to clean a comforter at a thrift store, or peppermint around windows and doors to keep spiders outside. You hadn't known, of course, that such tricks could apply to pests in the Netherworld too. You couldn't decide whether you were happy or not to discover they did in fact do so. 

TW! There is technically a torture scene in here? A character gets a bottle full of peppermint oil to their face, which is known to cause skin irritation and rashes on humans when used too much, and does slightly worse due to him rather special heritage and lack of exposure to it. Also light descriptions of gore, or at least I think it falls under the gore category? Maybe?

Also, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY AND UNHOLY, DO NOT TAKE THE PLANT AND OTHER FACTS AT FACE VALUE!!! I am not a trained botanist nor biologist (I haven't even started my college courses yet!) and everything in here is based on research I've found in books, oral stories, online research, and personal findings. ALWAYS check in with professionals before using or consuming something you don't know about. I use some of the things in here because it's what I grew up with, BUT it does not mean it's actually true or safe. Please take caution in the things you use!

Also, the MC in this is a tad bit of a hater of insects, which in no way reflects my views. So if you're like me and actually find the bug world terribly fascinating, you may not like some of this. Hopefully, you enjoy the rest, though! Also, there's some Shiida X reader, and Balam x reader if you squint, really hard. 

The taking down of one Atori had been both incredulous and laughably easy for you. 

In hindsight, you supposed it wouldn't have been as easy if you hadn't known a little bit of basic human world biology and been a bit of a hoarder. 

In the human world, spiders and other bugs are a bit of (read, incredibly) a hindrance. You understood they were needed for the ecosystem to thrive, and you did enjoy a fair few (snails in particular were very cute, for example), but for the most part, they were an annoyance in your daily life. When they weren't posing a danger, that is. 

To keep such annoyances at bay, you had taken to making 'herbal potions' that smelt good to you, but that most bugs hated. Even taking to wearing it as hairsprays, body oils, and lotions to keep them away from your person while working your various jobs or just going out and about. The added health benefits you gained from soft, clear skin and full, shiny hair were merely a nice bonus you wouldn't complain about.

 It had been incredibly easy to squirrel away unwanted seedlings from farming gigs or dumped herbs that had fallen on the floor from your serving jobs. The thrown-away herbs were the hardest to save, but you always felt so proud to see the cuttings growing tiny roots after a few weeks in water-filled cups. Such plants were then cleaned and went through various lengthy processes depending on what you wanted at the time. 

Lavender oil to spray on and around your bed, because you failed to clean one comforter from a thrift store, basil lotion to repel mosquitoes, and large amounts of various types of mint along with others. The mints were mostly used to spray around the doors, windows, and the general perimeter of your tiny home, to keep bugs from invading in the first place. You even used the extra for your hair specifically, both to promote growth and just because it smelt nice. 

You had even just finished a fresh batch, of newly sealed vials and bottles in your old, patched bag to transfer when Sullivan had invaded your home and essentially kidnapped you. Granted, you had willingly gone once he motioned to a bound Iruma, but still. You had been non-too-pleased when you discovered Iruma's parents had sold both of your souls to the demon, vowing revenge if it was the last thing you did. 

Regardless, because you had this batch and no bugs to use them on (Opera did an excellent job of keeping the mansion pest free, and that was assuming the Netherworld even had those kinds of bugs, to begin with), they had been delegated to strictly hair product use until you ran out. 

It had been rather surprising, and humorous, for you to find out that this world had a similar-smelling plant. That apparently only high-rankers and rich folk used, due to how difficult it was to grow and harvest, along with how volatile it was, and its rather fond taste for flesh. 

A misunderstanding had eventually arisen that you were as, or at least close to, as powerful as Sullivan was and simply hiding your rank when Suzie-sensei had asked how you acquired the oils. Your confusion, briefly forgetting that you were not in the human world any more, led to you confessing that you simply used to grow them from cuttings before crushing them into oils and pastes yourself, and how you were quite sad that you no longer had access to them due to moving in with Sullivan. The awed and calculating looks everyone had given you had lasted for days until the Battler party, and Iruma took centre stage again with his "fireworks". 

Although you could still hear the occasional whispers about how powerful you must be to have Sullivan as a father, and, the quickly rising through the ranks, Iruma as a son. You quite often wanted to bang your head on a wall when you heard those because of that one slip of a mistake. Especially when, for your birthday, after bemoaning the fact you were running low, the Babyls teachers had banded together to get you a couple of cuttings from the actual Netherworld peppermint plant counterpart, the Geagpian. 

You had quickly understood why others feared it so much. Smelling almost disgustingly minty up close, it rather reminded you of a stinking corpse lily in looks. If a stinking corpse lily was far smaller, had sharp teeth surrounding the inside of its petals and sentient vines covered in sharp hollow thorns filled with paralysing venom and grew multiple flowers along a tall cactus-like stem. The three, foot-long cuttings they had given you had apparently almost eaten Robin and a couple of curious students in the few days they were hiding it from you. When one of the Geagpian tried to do so again, your rather firm smack on its creeping vines only cemented their ideals of you being powerful when it quickly drew back again. Despite your apprehensive feelings about having such a dangerous gift, you had almost cried that they had tried to be so thoughtful. 

The Geagpians were then lovingly planted in a corner of the mansion's outer garden, far away from the other plants, where you happily took care of them. The nauseating in-your-face mint smell, a small comfort of your old home. Not that you wanted to go back. 

Now, though, a year into your stay here in the Netherworld, hunched over Sabro and the first years, checking them for serious injuries, as Shichirou fought Atori, you were rather glad that you had a few of your original hair oils left. And even happier that you had a full bottle in your pocket thanks to Shiida.

(You glanced up when a sudden shadow crossed over the table you were sitting at in the teacher's break room. One of the newest teachers, Shiida, you thought her name was, staring at you before flumping down in the seat next to you. You blinked in surprise before internally shrugging and going back to the book you were reading. 

It was as obvious as the two moons in the night sky that the girl was bad at social interactions, and as a fellow 'no social skills' person, you could understand how hard it could be to make friends with your new co-workers. If this was her attempt to break out of her mould and make new relationships, you were most certainly not going to stop her. 

You sat together in relative silence, the occasional flipping of a page in your book, the sound of fabric as she shifted, or another teacher wandering in briefly to say hello, being the only sounds to interrupt your peace. Over the course of your break, however, her shifting increased. Hands wringing together, bottom lip pulled between her teeth as she seemed to contemplate something. Taking pity on the poor girl, you slid a silk ribbon bookmark, a gift courtesy of Kalego who had been annoyed at the constant crinkling of the random papers you had shoved in between the pages, and closed your book. 

"Is something bothering you, Shiida-sensei?" She startled, turning towards you with wide eyes and the slightest parting of lips. You gave her what you hoped was a comforting smile, "While I'm not certain I can help, I will certainly try."

"Your scent..." she said suddenly. You paused in surprise, not actually expecting an answer beyond 'I'm fine'. 

Then your thoughts took over. Your scent? Had you forgotten your perfume today? You had been in a rush having woken up late, but no, you were certain Shichirou would have said something if you had when you joined him for a jointly taught class this morning. Or even one of the students, they weren't exactly known for keeping their mouths shut after all. (The one time you switched up scents just to try something new, everyone demanded to know if you were courting someone. That had taken forever to clear up, and you hadn't worn anything else sense.) Demons, it turned out, were especially blunt creatures by nature. Rarely talking with constant double-wording that humans so favoured unless they were especially manipulative, or a member of the succubus battler. 

"It....smells good... What is...the scent?" A faint blush was appearing on her face, and she appeared to be about five seconds away from bolting. A giggle left you before you could stop it. She was actually very adorable, wasn't she?

"Oh, is that all? It's a Geagpian mixture. I grow and make it myself." 

"I see... Atori-san hates it... I like it." She nodded to herself, "Where...can I find?" You blinked in surprise. Atori hated the scent of your hair oils? That explains why he always avoided you, even taking positions as far from you as possible when you had to share space in meetings. Your first meeting made exceptional sense now. 

When you had first met, Atori had attempted to greet you from behind, only to get a face full of your hair when you turned around. You had assumed the rather violent reaction of his body jerking and entire face seizing up had been because of the surprise at a rather hearty amount of hair suddenly in his face. 

You had long since wondered if you had offended him somehow with the hair slap, but everyone had drawn blanks because Momonoki had done the same thing only a few hours later, and much harder considering the absolute length of hair and speed she had done it with, and he was still perfectly fine with her. Though, you considered it a blessing in disguise the longer you watched him. There was just something about him that creeped you out, especially after Shichirou confessed that he was certain they were hiding something. 

"I can give you some of mine to try if you would like. I have a couple of extras since it lasts for three-four years in a bottle, and I've just pruned mine to be able to make more." And hadn't that been a pain to try and figure out? You couldn't ask any of the teachers at Babyls what parts to make into the oils since they were under the impression you already knew, and most breeders were rather tight-lipped in their secrets in fear that you were a competitor. 

Well until Opera decided to get involved, and then you had not only which parts were safe to use but also formulas for the best things to mix with them and brand-new equipment to get started. 

"Although I'm surprised you would want to smell like me if your friend hates it." 

"Friend...?" Ah, right, you had forgotten that was a human word. 

"Friends are people who enjoy spending time together and help one another, but in a non-romantic or familial sense. Like how Iruma, Alice, and Clara do or Shichirou and Kalego. It's like allies but stronger, if that makes sense. If you want, we can be friends?"  You held out your hand towards her and were rather reminded of the scene from the first Harry Potter film. 

The longer she stared wide-eyed at your hand, the more you started to worry you would end up like Draco. Spurned before even being given a chance. Until slowly but surely her hand rose up and took yours. Eyes alight in wonder as she looks fixedly at your joined hands. 

"Not friends...with Atori...forced...companionship....coworkers on various jobs...no one else....to really talk to..." 

"Well, now you can talk to me!" You declared brightly, a large smile gracing your face. "Whenever you want to spend time together or need some help, just come to me and I'll be there." 

"Can we...pet chicks...?" 

"Of course! I'll even ask Shichirou if he knows of any petting zoos around here, and we can visit to pet lots of animals if so. And to cement this newfound friendship, how about I bring a bottle of my hair oil tomorrow to give you after the exam? As a way to celebrate our obvious winnings as well." 

"I would...like that." 

"Then it's a deal!")

Looking up from your position, fingering the bottle in your pocket, your mind racing with what to do. You had three terrified students, two of which were injured, and at least one deranged intruder. Potentially two if he and Shiida were working together. And wasn't that a sad thought? Your possible new friend could actually be an enemy in disguise. 

Though as you watched Shichirou smack down Atori with a giant fist made of vines, you could at least be assured you wouldn't have to attempt to fight. Shichrou had it well in hand, and eveidently he thought so as well as he turned back and gave you a nod, hellphone already in hand to contact the others. 

You started to turn back to the students to get them ready to be transferred when you noticed movement out of the corner of your eye. Whirling back around you saw it again. Thin shimmering strands of something were protruding out of where Atori's body lay before. You dared a glance at Shichirou who hadn't yet noticed, back still turned to the danger. 

You cried out his name in panic, right before a multitude of the strands poured out and wrapped around the fallen demon. Shichirou whirled around and you both watched, stunned, as the strands seemed to undulate, as if something was moving underneath. Were...were they healing him? No, your eyes darted about the shapes, counting each one and cataloguing how they move. 

It wasn't healing Atori, it was changing him. 

You risked another glance at Shichirou who was still standing there surprised. He wasn't doing anything, why wasn't he doing anything? Strike, burn, crush, something before-!

The threads tore apart, and your gaze was forced back to the suddenly mutated body before you. Atori stood slowly, shakily rising, his body with that came equipped with two extra sets of limbs. He hadn't just changed slightly, he had metamorphised. Like....like a bug, you suddenly realized. A giant spider that had been humanized. 

Your hands flexed around the bottle in your pocket again. Should you? Could you? There was no guarantee it would do anything, and even if it did, you only had one shot. One shot to make this work when you were lucky to throw something straight on your best days. But would it even work, or would you just be in the way? 

Shiida's words rang in your mind, "Atori-san hates it". If that were true and really what reason would she have to lie about that of all things? If he really did hate it and that was before the change, then maybe...just maybe. 

You forced yourself out of your thoughts right as Atori started to bring his hand up. Your hand clench around the bottle harder, bringing it out of your pocket as your body moved to exit the egg shaped shield Shichirou had thrown up in the beginning. All thoughts focused on your task, it never registered that you shouldn't have been able to leave it all, and yet your body flowed through like it wasn't even there. 

You had seconds, Atori's hand already at his mouth, lips forming an o-shape as if blowing. You saw it in slow motion as more threads, webs, spurred out and flew at Shichirou’s face. Sliding past him, you ducked underneath, far from the splash zone, and continued on your way. You could already see Atori starting to turn to get away. You were so close, just a little more, and there! Hand whipping out, you felt the bottle leave you, flying in an arch right towards its target. 

Smack!

The bottle struck the side of Atori's head, glass shards flying as the liquid poured out directly onto his skin. His loud screech of pain echoed across the courtyard, pausing in his retreat to use his multiple hands to scratch at his face. You watched horrified, scrambling backwards again to get towards safety, as Atori fell to his knees, screams never fading. You felt large hands grab at your arms and almost panicked until you saw the tale-tell sign of green gloves. Shichirou. 

You let yourself be pulled against his chest as he jumped further away from the still screeching demon, more vines being produced to wrap around Atori's body once more. This time staying there to hold him in place. With Atori's arms held in place and no longer covering his face, you finally saw what damage you had done. The entire right side of his face was bright red and bulging, some areas far darker than others, an obvious sign of where the oils had hit first and stayed the longest. His left eye, that was still open, rolled about its socket manically as if he couldn't focus it at all. 

Once a considerable distance away, Shichirou put you down, but still hovered about directly behind you. You stood frozen, still staring at the carnage you had wrought on the spider demon. Completely ignoring the gargoyle behind you as he tried to check you over, a rant about dangers spilling from his lips, your eyes stayed locked on Atori. Adrenaline making it, so you couldn’t take your eyes away from the possible danger. It wasn’t until Shichirou forced your head to look at him that you finally took your gaze away. 

“Are you alright?” He asked softly. Were you? No, you were not alright. Your senses, still so high-strung, still screamed of danger. That turning your back was perilousness. All of your inner instincts clamouring and fighting to rip out of you and take care of the threat. Or at least run away. 

To run...run? Run! Your entire body jerked forward instinctively, Shichirou's arms wrapping around you, his wings bursting forth in a flurry of feathers ready to block whatever was coming to your back as he lept away again.  Your hands clutched his shirt tightly, eyes scrunching shut in fear at being so exposed and not being able to see the danger, much less attack back. Pulse racing, you waited for the attack to hit. 

Only, it never did. 

There was a loud cracking noise, that rather reminded you of bones snapping, and a pained yowl by the time Shichirou touched down again. Most of his body stayed tense, but the arms holding you loosened just enough that you could look to see what happened. Turning around, the first thing you noticed was Shiida, with a rather more exposed outfit than you remembered seeing her in this morning, lowering her leg back toward the ground. Stepping on top of a knocked-down Atori, a spray of web trailed from his mouth to fall only a few inches short of where you had been. She easily dug her heel into his back, exactly where you assumed his wing roots were... 

"You will....not hurt....my friend," Shiida growled, digging her foot further into his back. His body spasmed out of instinct, but it was obvious to tell from the way his body had fallen, she had fully snapped his spine. 

"Shiidaaaaa..." Atori growled out, "How… could you?!" 

"Friends help...one another...when needed... You...threatened friend... I end...the threat," Shiida explained before locking eyes with you, "I help...my friend." 

My allegiance lies with you. 

Your eyes teared up from all the emotions stirring in you like a cyclone, the most prominent being relief and something akin to affection blooming across your chest. You understood her message and nodded at her with a watery smile. 

A wall of fire surrounded the four of you, followed by what appeared to be a wall of flower guns crawling up the side of the building, Ifirit-sensei and Suzy-sensei. You heard the door to the side of you slam open and the pounding of footsteps as more and more teachers filed in as backup. 

Your body almost collapsed from the amount of relief that flowed through you, and if Shichirou’s arms weren’t still holding you close, you probably would have. You and the others were safe, there was simply no way Atori could take on the entire staff of Babyls if he had issues with two, technically three, of you. When the heavy pressure of Sullivan’s aura arrived long before you saw his tall, lean form, it merely confirmed what you already knew. 

Atori would not be getting away this day. 

"Hey, Shichirou?" He hummed in response, Shiida walking closer to you guys after finally getting off of Atori’s battered body, and Sullivan got to work questioning him. "Do you know of any petting zoos around here? Specifically, one with chicks?" 

The crazed look he gave you was more than worth the slightly hysterical laugh that left your throat as he went about checking your head for injuries.

Cross posted on Wattpad and AO3!

[castlebyersafterdark]

I don't know! Why am I like this!!

hehehe ok firstly, shoutout to the peeps who can't watch panels due to the celebs, i can't relate but i feel for you! i struggle to watch them because of the awkwardness of the fans instead haha - awkward questions, silly questions, repetitive questions, people who burst into tears when they come to their turn. im sorry i just find that hard to watch lol! maybe its my inner journalist itching to be there and ask the real q's. or maybe im too british! pull yourself together, man! (said in a stiff military accent lmao) just kidding.

but as someone who used to find it harder than i do now to engage in this kind of content, my unsolicited advice that may not work for you is to really focus on being interested in what they have to say or are trying to say and what that might mean. then your brain kind of cuts out/dismisses the umming and ahhing, just sees it as a side effect instead of a tick or annoyance. obviously some speakers are worse than others but i honestly find most people in ST to be ok speakers, with the worst perhaps being finn. the others are all amenable and confident public speakers. i get the finn angst, it's never comfortable to see someone else who is uncomfortable... but he's fascinating, so i try to treat him as a fascinating person to observe when the empathy kicks in too hard and makes me want to hide lol.

which leads me to say vinny I AM HUGGING YOU RIGHT NOW! can't believe people were mean about you crying when another started crying - this is literally pure kind empathy at work and you are such a dreamboat for that. me and my whole family are the same, so i feel lucky to have had that experience. actually we used to be told not to cry as kids, only because my mum knew it would set her off too (she was already crying as she said it haha).

Yeah - good advice!! I really want to listen to what these actors have to say so it's a major power through moment every time!! And yeah, also not saying it to be mean but it's the fans primarily, but people can't help the reaction they have, and I know I'd fuck it up if I tried to ask something in public, which is why I never would. Actually, I'd try to be really funny and charming and it would fall completely flat and make me just seem like an ass so also, would never approach the mic at a con hahaha.

It's the same with live music or theater - I have this sinking fear in the pit of my stomach sometimes where as good as the show is, god if something goes wrong on stage and they flub lines and have trouble recovering or seriously mess-up a song or have a mishap, I would be dying inside and probably have a silent internal panic attack myself and wish I was anywhere else!! Get a grip, man, I am saying to myself!!!

And... thank you for the kind words. It's ok, I've manged to come out on the other side fine and unchanged, with people in my life who've made it known it's ok to be emotional, and be too much, and to feel deeply. And there's nothing wrong with being a guy who tears up a lot. (Part of what draws me to Will - I love him and I love his sensitivity and the way he feels so deeply. I've never seen a character like him before. Why when people complain about him being a crybaby it's a major 'shut up and let him be' moment from me! And Noah seems to also be similar so I feel kinship with that lovely guy). Listen. I grew up with 4 older brothers so. The little gay baby is my lot in life and it's totally fine now, but there was a lot of enduring bullshit growing up and breaking away from terrible friends and then finding people who let you be you. That's the goal in life. Find people who you can support and who will support you in turn, all sides. ❤️❤️❤️

[sugar-glaze-donut]

I can't write shit recently cause I'm really busy, but I had another Isekai!Akuneko AU >:D

So, so... I know I've been writing about Isekai!Aruji-sama a lot BUT! What if MC was isekai-ed, not as Aruji-sama, but as a butler/maid in Devil's Palace, an NPC who gave the past butlers happiness before the despair, or an angel! (I'm going to write the NPC and Angel AU in another post)

🎻-🧪- Isekai!MC but differrent -☕-📱

Outcome 1: You spawn into the world as a Devil Butler/ Maid.

It's just that one day... a new butler/ maid enters the mansion and POOF! Now we have a different soul in the body!

For example, if spawned in the early days of the Devil Butlers, you will find the oldest butlers in the original timeline (Berrien, Miyaji, and Lucas), and you can gain their trust knowing they'll most likely (they have to be) alive at the point when the main plot begins. There are obviously going to be other butlers in the mansion, so you could try to save them and spare some trauma for poor Miyaji. You could prevent Lucas and Miyaji from getting into the fight that caused them to give each other the silent treatment for a thousand years (and maybe prevent Miyaji to get his scar). With this, your relationship with Lucas and Miyaji (dilf duo *cough*) will be pretty ok. Do they trust you? Yes ✅ Will they be mad at you constantly for risking your life for others too much? Yes ✅ Will you be invited to their wine parties? Absolutely yes! ✅✅ Will they be relying on you a lot? Yes yes!! 100% YES ✅✅✅

They'll stick next to you like glue. From the main and side stories, it is said that they treated each other like brothers until the big fight they had. They'll treat you like their little sibling who has to deal with all their shit (good luck with the next few centuries with them...) Or if MC has a motherly personality, they'll both joke that Miyaji is the dad, Lucas is the weird Uncle, and you're the Mom/ other Dad

As for Berrien though? At first, he may think you're a very helpful butler/ maid since you're running around the palace helping everyone in sight. But as time goes on and the new butlers (Lamli, Lato, the problem man-children in general) come along, he might think it's really sus that you know how to handle each and every butler with their unique personalities. Sure, you have been a butler/ maid in Devil's Palace for quite a long time, and you've met new butlers and known lots of unique people over those years, but something feels... off. Just know he'll be having his guard up whenever he's with you (But he doesn't hate you don't worry)

As for the butlers that came after (a few centuries before the main story begins) like Haures and Fennesz will look up to you like a little brother to an older sibling (ouch, Fennesz's trauma kicking in). You can save Boschi from losing his arm and eye, give Fennesz more self-confidence, and Ammon... to at least let him trust you (if you succeed congrats! Now you have another emotionally unstable boy by your side!!).

There's going to be one point where you and Miyaji find Lato living in the forest after years of the torment he's faced locked up in a science lab. And what are you going to do about it? Give him love and comfort of course!! He won't open up to you immediately (Lato's trust issues) but with your knowledge of a 1000+ year old person and memories of the character's personality, now you have a child! The child is Lato btw. You're now his new mother/ father and you don't have a choice. Oh my, such a happy family! *crashing sounds in the distance*

Then gaining Lamli's trust. He's not that hard like Lato, just needs a pinch of Lucas, and... BOOM now you have another magnet stuck to you good job :D

(I'm not sure about Nac's past since I haven't looked into his side stories)

Now for the new butlers. Not new like Teddy, Hanamaru, and Yuhan, a few decades before the main plot. First, we have Bastien and Lono. An Emo and a Sunshine boy... how nice :D You're in for a treat. Lono is known to be the best cook so better eat those plates clean! And Bastien... silent acknowledgment I guess. He won't open up until the events of Episode 1 come to a close, so it's best to have some common interests with him like carving and fluffy animals to at least crack his walls down.

I'm not quite sure about Flure's past, but at least save try to save Zepal (the butler that gets demonized a few years before the plot) for him. Alright?

Now, I believe you deserve a new title~! Now you're the younger butler's parental figure!! I'm going to bet my soul Lamli will call you Mama-chan or Papa-kun as your nickname.

Possible love interests in this AU outcome will be... Aruji-sama, and possibly Berrien? Aruji-sama is pretty self-explanatory. I mean, who wouldn't want to date someone as pretty as you? And Berrien is... an Enemy/ Stranger to Lovers kinda troupe? He won't trust you much at first, but over those decades and centuries he might one day... one day open up to you.

Last Edited: August 14th 2023 (oh no... you just completed another cringe masterpiece by me... you liked it that much? 😳)

[vioyume]

Casual Fan rambles about Simon's "Fionna & Cake"

For some clarity, I'm someone who drops in and out of the original run of Adventure from time to time, so I never really connected with it until watching the Fionna and Cake mini series. I've seen some of the important lore episodes, some regular/special episodes, all of the original Fionna and Cake episodes and the finale.

I find it real interesting to analyze someone's phyce when given the chance to see what goes on in their mind, that being Simon's who has been fostering the world of Fionna and Cake like Prismo stated. The fact that this magical world has been changed to a "modern" 20th century setting when Simon is back to his original self really got me thinking how this world reflected him as a person.

So I'm gonna say some things I've noticed and try to explain it to the best of my abilities, but like I said, I didn't watch the whole series so there's most likely things I'll miss or get wrong. Nothing too formal, just me going on a tangent on unorganized thoughts.

One of the first few things you will immediately notice is the Betty statue during Fionna's tour. I don't think I need to say much knowing how important she is to Simon, so making her a significant being in this world will only make sense. By the end you'll see that the statue is the form that she is currently taking now proving that Simon is accepting the lost of her and is trying to live the current life he has without needing to hold on to the past.

What took interest to me the most was the presence of Ice Queen, I read up a little bit about her and learned that her back story is different to the Ice King's. Makes sense to me since this was Ice King's weird Adventure Time au fanfic, he either forgot or heavily repressed his own history given the fact that he has gone mad at that point (Feel free to correct me, at anything I say actually, but I'm betting it's the forget one).

Ice Queen is irrelevant to the plot and could've been replaced with some other random citizen, she and Marshall has no relation at all before and after the change. Now this all be because it was Ice King's world before and not Simon's, but part of me thinks that Simon at some point thought things turned out better for Marceline if he weren't there for her or possibly even Betty, they'll all lived happy and content lives (boy was he wrong). Ice Queen is a completely forgettable character if you hadn't known what she was like before and how relevant she used to be.

But going with that theory, that since he only wanted Marceline to be happy only makes sense to me for why Marshall and Gary immediately got together in the span of one day without any toxicity between them. Because this relationship could have been written within a passing period of time, or a mending relationship if they had known each other before like Marceline and Bubblegum did. Instead they hit it off immediately and are stuck together like glue, like they are the equivalent of a wholesome cafe romance fanfic.

I know the explanation of why everything is in the 20th century is because Simon doesn't have magic anymore, but I like to think it's because that is the time period he is most comfortable with and is used to after thousands of years being under controlled by the crown. Part of him wished it was the good ol' days, after all change is hard. But I like how a few parts of it were unnatural like how some of the character designs are a bit non-human or the questionable structure of the trees and buildings.

I'm sure there's more to say and maybe some contradictions in my thoughts like how it was Prismo's weird little world first and let death by the author happen with Simon/Ice King. But I've said what has been on my mind now and I'll let it be.

[kassian-ck]

I'm kinda going crazy ahhh going stupid ahhh making playlists for what I think what music Cobra Kai characters listen to cause it has been tough to find playlists that match the character for me. (Robby does have a few good ones tho). I'll keep adding more music with time but I got Robby ready so far. I've even made a lil cover cause I'm too extra like that 🙏

I could yap a whole ass analysis on why his music taste is the way it is but I ain't doing all that for something that small.

Or am I?

If the music is loud enough, he won't have to listen to the world around him

This is pretty straight forward. Since season 1, Robby has shown himself to avoid what distresses him through whatever can distract him, including music. As little as it's known about how Shannon's and Johnny's relationship was when they were still together, I wouldn't be surprised if their possibly constant fighting led Robby down to taking this habit of blasting metal and hardcore punk into his ears, letting the crude and angry lyrics do the job for him so he can turn his brain off.

The influence of someone who wasn't there

If Johnny shared his love for the music he listened to with Miguel, I doubt he didn't do the same with Robby during his childhood, and I think this would reflect in the kind of music Robby listens to. This is nearing headcanon territory but hear me out 🙏 More than once Johnny has made connections with people through music in the series, that might be the fastest way to get his attention, and I feel this was one of the few ways he was able to reach out to Robby when he felt inadequate to do everything else. For Robby, since this was one of the few times he felt he had a meaningful connection with his dad, he grew attached to his old-school rock to fill up the ever-growing gap Johnny has been leaving in his life since the beginning.

Until he didn't want to have anything to do with him. As his taste developed, Robby got rid of any resemblance to his dad now that they no longer brought the same comfort they used to give him. But Johnny's presence perdured even when he was no longer in the picture. As much as he distanced himself from classic rock, there are still hints of it in the music he listens to as a reminder of the flawed yet fond relationship he used to have with his dad. Hatred can only come from love, and it might be impossible to completely get rid of it.

It goes hard af 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

He a skater, he a criminal, he knows he's cool pls

But if you have gotten this far into my yapping, thank you so much for reading 😭🙏 I don't play around when it comes to music and I feel like it's such a good device to give depth to characters in so many ways.

Next time it'll either be Miguel or Hawk/Eli. Maybe both at the same time

[ghostiiess]

[NSB IMAGINES] - i'm the one for you...

▼△▼△▼△▼△▼▼△▼△▼△▼△▼▼△▼△▼△▼△▼▼△▼△▼△▼

pov: when you find out that your boyfriend cheated on you, you go for his best friends...

warning: mention of cheating, sex talk, mention of bad words (swearing), mention of making love with another person, making out

type: angst and a little bit of comfort in the middle! some love at the end (but not enough to say it's spicy) ;)

members: sebastian moy and justin phan

words count: about 22 343 characters :)

this one was requested!! thank you! if you guys want more imagines or headcanons that are not on my masterlist, please, do not hesitate! my box is always open :)

"But you're the most beautiful girl I've ever kissed…" Justin whispered to you as he continued to put his lips on yours and his hands on your hips, crumpling the fabric of your tshirt

Let's do a recap of your story.

You and Justin met in February 2021 at the Korean BBQ restaurant. All the members were there, including him.

Him.

Justin Phan.

That guy, oh fuck… The one who made you cry tears of sadness, tears of joy, screams of joy, screams of… well, let's just say it was also screams of joy, except no one would really want to hear them..., lots of emotions ranging from anger to joy… You'd gone through all the emotions together, holding hands secretly and holding firm on the point;

"We're only friends."

That night he saw you and gave you one of his smiles. Oh boy, his smile.

You could talk about it for hours, it was so precious. It was protected as if only special people could see it, his smile was comforting as if it protected you from all attacks and insults.

You were dying to ask him for his number, to get to know him, to go on a date with him and find out his passions, some facts about him, why he was like that, his favorite place on earth and why…

But he had you beat. While he was eating, he saw you go to the cash register, probably to pay for your meal which had been barely good to be honest, and saw something from your bag fall on the floor.

This was his chance to talk to you.

-Hey, you dropped this! he said, handing you the object that was formerly on the floor.

You let out a sad little smile:

-Ooh.. Thank you.

He gave you a little smile, hoping that it would make you smile back, since you looked sad, and took a deep breath. He couldn't let go of you. He could already feel the chemistry between the two of you, and someone as pretty as you couldn't leave here without Phan having their number. Maybe this relationship wasn't going to work out, but at least he wanted to give it a shot. He had to do it.

-Did you come alone?

-Yeah. My date stood me up. I'm… I'm not having much luck with love these days.. you laughed a little nervously, as if you didn't mind seeing your love life fall to the ground

You were feeling good about him. You'd literally been standing in front of him for a minute and a half, but his vibe made you feel like you'd known him forever.

-He's a fucking moron. Who would dare to stand up a girl as attractive as you? It's their loss.

You tried not to smile too much, but you couldn't help it.

-That's nice, thanks. It cheers me up.

He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair from his nervousness.

-I'm Justin, by the way.

-Y/N.

-Pretty name for a pretty girl. It works well.

You smiled slightly and took out your phone to pay and inhaled in turn.

"Come on, do it Y/N. Anyway, this isn't the first time you've done this kind of thing, right? Come on."

-I like your name too.

-Is my name as pretty as me? he laughed softly, trying to continue the game you've been playing for a few minutes now.

You laughed instead of answering.

-I have to go back with my friends, but… if you want, we could exchange numbers or something?

You nodded and opened your messaging app so he could enter his number.

He smiled and held out his phone for you to do the same.

-There you go!

You looked at the name he had entered and saw "cute guy from the korean bbq". You looked up and saw him join his friends. He smiled at you from afar and joined the conversation, which his friends had started, as if nothing had happened.

You left the restaurant and said to yourself that you were lucky to have been alone tonight. Otherwise, you would never have lived this story with him.

Except you know that all good things must come to an end..

December 2022.

-I hope so JP… I am your girlfriend… you answered with a little smile

He gave you another smile and put his lips on yours for the umpteenth time.

-Yeah, and I'm glad you are, my love.

A knocking sounded at your boyfriend's door, which broke the kiss. You pulled yourself off his lap and watched as Justin hurriedly put his shirt back on and sat down at his gaming desk as if nothing had ever happened.

-Come on in! Justin shouted, trying not to laugh as he watched you try to straighten up his bed.

The door finally opened with Sebastian shirtless, probably coming back from the gym, and a dark gray towel over his left shoulder. He was so… hot?

"Shit, what the hell did I just do… Holy shit!" you thought.

You took a deep breath and made big eyes hoping that nobody saw you. You looked up and saw Sebastian's eyes looking you up and down. He gave you a little smile and waved his hand.

-Hi Y/N. How are you?

-Yeah! A-And you? you said, wearing a hoodie to Justin to hide your tshirt.

It was only a camisole, but still. It was pretty sexy. At least, that's what Justin said to you when he first saw you in it.

-I'm okay…? Anyway, JP! I just wanted to tell you that you have to be ready in 30 minutes, we're going to film a new video for the NSB channel.

Justin nodded and looked at you with a smile.

-Y/N, do you want to participate?

Sebastian looked back at you and smiled, waiting for your answers.

You nodded your head.

-Yeah, okay! I'll finish showing Justin my school project and we'll be right there… you lied to prove that you weren't making out five minutes ago

-Okay.. I'll leave you guys alone with your weird occupations, Seb laughed while closing Phan's door' bedroom

-Bro, you dropped out of school! Shut your fucking mouth! She just likes to show me her work, that's all!

Justin turned around and walked back to his messy bed and smiled as he ran his hand over your hair.

-That was really close to getting caught… you whispered

-That would have been sexy.

You rolled your eyes, then put your lips on his.

-I love it when you wear my clothes! he smiled softly

-They're comfortable and they smell like you.

He laughed.

-I wish I could do the same with yours, but they'd be too small for me.

-Hey! Are you saying I'm short? you asked with a smile on your lips

-Maybe…

-JUSTIN PHAN!

He laughed, then put your hands on his neck and put his head on your chest. (idk if you guys understand what i'm trying to say here lol)

-But you're my shortie.

Indeed, you and Justin had decided to keep your relationship a secret since you knew it might complicate things for the work and interviews he was doing. He also didn't want to make his relationships public because he knew he'd rather have them to himself and have them private, not be seen by the rest of the world. Besides, what's more exciting in a relationship than being secret?

-Thank you?

Still having his smile on his face, he breathed:

-Well, let's get ready.

-You know what video you guys are going to shoot? you asked as he got out of bed

-Probably a "Spill your guts or fill your guts"!

Finally ready, you walked out of Phan's room and took the stairs while smiling and wearing a sweater, that was your boyfriend's, and met Seb Moy's eyes.

-Heyy, if it isn't my best girl, Y/N! he laughed. High five?

You smiled and tried to give him one, except of course… This guy kept raising his hand higher and higher to mock you and prevent you from doing one with him.

-You missed… he laughed

You rolled your eyes with a smile.

-You're pissing me off with your 6'4.

-What do you want? That's what charms the girls!

You laughed.

-Your thing doesn't work very well. You're still single!

He smiled.

-Hey, you can only says that kind of things if you're dating someone. From I know, you're still single.

-No, I'm with J-

You stopped talking and realized what you almost said.

That was close.

-Wait, you're dating someone? Who is it? your best friend asked with one of his eyebrows raised (🤨)

You took a deep breath and laughed nervously.

-I was going to say I was with Junior, my teddy bear but now, I realize how better it was in my head.

Seb looked oddly relieved, but you couldn't really guess why.

You looked into his brown eyes.

He was so handsome. His 6'4 figure that charmed you more and more, despite you being in a relationship with his best friend. His black hair that swept across his face and his veiny hands filled with rings. His fashion style so pretty, but so messy. His smile that, every time you saw him, begged you to smile more and more with him.

You made big eyes and took a deep breath.

Twice in one day. What was wrong with you? You always thought Sebastian was attractive and he was nicer to you for the past few days and weeks, but you'd never said or meant it like that before.

It must be the stress.

-I think it's cute.

You ran your hand through your hair and avoided putting your eyes in his.

"Don't make the same mistake again, Y/N.."

Justin walked down the stairs and into the kitchen with your phone in hand and high-fived his best friend.

-Hi guys! he exclaimed while giving you a back hug. Y/N, you forgot your phone in my room. You'll need it for the video.

-Oh thanks!

He smiled at you and left to join the other members in the other room.

-Can I have a hug too? Sebastian asked

You accepted and felt his arms cover you from all worries, stress and nervousness.

You felt good.

The video was going well. Quite well, in fact. You hadn't had any questions asked yet and you were happy with that. The food looked like it would be unpleasant to eat and swallow.

-Y/N! exclaimed Regie. My friend. How about eating those little anchovies that look so fucking bad?

-No way am I going to taste that! My breath will stink.

Justin laughed.

-Yeah, let's avoid that..

He smirked at you, giving you butterflies in your stomach.

His smile was so precious.

You met your buddy Nguyen's eyes and saw him watching you with a frown as he smiled with his fist shaped hand over his mouth.

-AYOOOO?? Justin and Y/N, you want to tell us something, bruh?

-No, bro, it's just that the breath of anchovies stinks like hell. It smells like fucking death! your secret boyfriend said

-Yeah, yeah. There's definitely something going on between these two. Noooo cap!!

Regie exclaimed.

-If you don't want to have a bad breath, you're going to have to answer the question. Regie, ask the question that everyone wants to know. Let's hear the truth.. Sebastian exclaimed, looking away as if he were angry or upset

Your eyes looked at Seb's face then checked your companion.

He wetted his lips with his tongue and smiled as he caressed his eyes into yours.

-Yeah, we want to know if you have a crush on me!

-You'd like that! I laughed

Regie scrolled through his phone and gave a big smile while nodding along with the oldest member of the group.

-That question is crispy as fuck, bro!

-Ouch, she's going to have to eat the fish… laughed Kane

Darren read the question on his best friend's phone and started laughing as he walked away from the table.

-Fanfictions are coming, baby!

Regie looked at your eyes and started to read the question, then started to laugh.

-Y/N, if you could choose anyone here for a one night stand, who would it be with?

You started to look around the table, knowing very well who you were going to choose. You watched your boyfriend waiting for your answer.

-Justin.

A big hubbub ensued with shouts, screams, laughter and "oooh, I told you so!" was heard.

-Why? asked Sebastian, trying to put on a smile that looked awfully fake to you

-Um… He's the one I'm closest with.

-I'm the most sexy here, what do you want? The girls are head over heels over me.

The whole group laughed.

Now it was Sebastian's turn to answer one of your questions. You turned the table towards the acorn pudding and scrolled through the questions on Twitter.

-Sebastian Moy… Either you eat the acorn pudding or you answer my question.

He smiled nervously.

-I'm ready.

You smiled and looked into his eyes.

His brown eyes that were so deep. His eyes that you always wanted to have in yours. His eyes that…

You snapped back to reality and cleared your throat.

-I found my question… you said as an excuse. So… Uh… who are you most jealous of in the group and why?

Some "oooohhh" were heard in the room and around the table.

-Probably me, I'm the hottest one here. exclaimed Darren.

-That's some cap, bro, that's some cap! said Ryan directly.

Sebastian looked around at each member of the group, then ran his hand through his hair.

-Oh man, this is hard.

-You can eat the thing if it's too hard for you.. Oliver said smiling at him

-I'm good, thank you.

He let out another sigh, then softly said your boyfriend's name.

-Justin, probably.

The room echoed with different reactions to the youngest member's answer.

-Why? JP asked, smiling broadly

Sebastian shrugged.

-I don't know, your smile, maybe? I wish I had one that was like that too, I think.

You smiled as you listened to the reactions the other members were giving him about his smile.

Justin Phan's smile.

Was it a coincidence that in the past few weeks, Seb had been getting closer to you, that he had been showing jealousy towards you and his teammate and that he was now talking about how beautiful JP's smile was, knowing full well that it was what had charmed you in the first place?

-I like your smile, Sebastian.

Justin looked at you and gave you a tiny smile. He knew you weren't saying that to make him jealous. He was happy. He was happy that you got along so well with his best friends and that you were as close to them as he was. No matter which member was close to you, he was happy that you were friends with his. It made him happy.

-You do?

-I mean… I think everybody has a beautiful smile. Yours is soft and simple. It's like you have a communicative smile or whatever.

Justin got up from his seat and gave you a kiss on the head.

-I agree.

***

Finally Saturday night.

You rang the doorbell and hoped Justin would open the door for you.

You hadn't texted him to say you were coming, but you figured he wouldn't mind you coming to the party for about five minutes to give him something back. After all, he was always saying:

"This is like your second home. Come over whenever you want. You don't need an invitation, just come in and do whatever you want"

The door finally opened with a white-dress-shirted Sebastian wearing his smile as always and one of his black belt tied around his waist.

"Hot…"

-Hey Y/N! Come on in, come on in!

You walked in and saw the huge party that was going on in the NSB's house. It reminded you of your college days at session parties: they were boring compared to the ones your friends were doing.

-How are you doing? he asked

-Pretty tired, to be honest. How 'bout you?

-I'm okay, I guess. Tired, too, but I'm holding up okay.

You smiled softly and moved forward to give him a hug. His arms went almost immediately to your back and his head on yours.

-You smell good, he whispered.

-Thank you. So do you.

You and Sebastian have always had a strong friendship. Ever since JP introduced you to the group, you and Seb have been joking around, making fun of each other and laughing at silly things.

You took your arms off of him and saw the look of disappointment on his face.

-Wanted to party tonight? he laughed

You shrugged.

-Oh uh… I was only coming to bring Justin, his anime hoodie that he gave me two days ago. I was going to leave afterwards. I don't want to disturb.

He rolled his eyes.

-You're never disturbing us, come on! Plus, we could watch a movie together like old times! Wouldn't be exciting? he exclaimed, taking the cotton belonging to his friends in his hands

-Okay, okay.. I'll stay. But only for the movie, though! you said laughing to make him know you were kidding

The young adult laughed back at you.

-Alright! I'm going to JP's room to give him back his sweater. You go to my room and pick a movie.

You nodded and went in the opposite direction.

Sebastian's POV

I went up the stairs and knocked on my best friend Justin's door and received no answer. I knocked again, a little louder this time, and waited. Maybe he hadn't heard? It's true that the music was loud.

I heard for a few moments, then sighed.

I won't wait forever.

I opened the door and put my eyes on my best friend's hoodie before putting them on his room. My heart pounded.

What had I just seen…?

Justin looked at me and made big eyes before pulling the underwear girl off on him and getting out of bed seeing what I had in my hands. I fastly closed my eyes to avoid any traumatisation.

-Seb?! W-What are you doing? Why do you have my hoodie in my hands?

-I-I…Y/N came to bring back your hoodie, she's in my room, we're going to watch a movie together and um.. Look, I'm gonna come back later. I didn't see anything, don't worry.

Justin pulled on his pants and ran his hand through his hair.

-Why didn't you knock, you idiot?

-I did, but I got no answer, so I let myself in. I thought you were playing video games, not playing with a girl.

-Okay, well… he said while looking at the girl probably. Can you please get out of here? I-I don't want to do this anymore…

The girl sighed, swore and leaved us alone in his dark violet LED room. I opened my eyes and saw my best friend on his bed all undone trying to search a clean comfortable sweater.

-I shouldn't have done that to Y/N.

I raised an eyebrow and handed him the anime hoodie for him to wear.

-What are you talking about? You're single. Plus, I don't really care about your sex life, it just surprised me! Especially because I thought you liked Y/N, but I won't tell her anything if that's your worries. She's your best friends anyways. I don't think she'll be mad about it.

Justin sighed and jumped to his feet and spun around.

-No, that's the thing! She'll be deadass mad! And she have the right to feel this way, I shouldn't.. Fuck, I shouldn't have done this, damn it. I just ruined everything.

I nodded and left him alone in his thoughts.

-Well, I'm going to be in my room with Y/N. If you need something or just want to talk about it, you know where you can find me.

Justin nodded and sighed:

-You love her, don't you?

I blushed a little and laughed nervously:

-What?

-Yes or no?

-What does it matter if I love her or not?

-Take care of her, Seb, just... take care of her.

Back to the normal POV :)

-And that's why I'd like to apologize because… I don't know, I was a jerk for doing this, but I promise I won't do it again… I just wanted you to know that… You would have known anyway, Seb doesn't really hold his tongue sometimes, but.. I had to tell you, because it would have been even more disrespectful if I had kept it to myself.

Your heart was beating really hard, harder than the music playing in the main room.

You thought he was loyal.

Justin Phan had just let you know that he had just been caught, by Seb, doing it with another girl than you. You've never had a problem with him talking to other girls, but like any secret, public or normal relationship, there's really no justifiable excuse for this, at least, that was for you and Justin's one.

You felt tears in my eyes and sighed.

-Yeah, it's good that you won't do it again. That'll help you keep your next relationship. you said as you left his room.

-Y/N, wait! I never meant to hurt you, it's just that… It was just one night stands!

You sighed.

-Oh yeah? One-night stands that you've been secretly flirting with for almost a year? Is that why you didn't want to make it public? Because, with your celebrity status that might have made her find out we were a couple? Was this your idea? That we make it secret so that we can fuck in secret and you can fuck her on Saturday Nights?

-I… It didn't sound like that in my head.

-Justin, I trusted you.

-Y/N, I'm so sorry. I promise I'm not gonna do that again. We can give it another shot! I have regrets like you wouldn't believe. I care so fucking much about you, that's why I told you.

I sniffed.

-Justin, you told me because your best friend caught you doing it.

I opened the door to Sebastian's room and locked it. I went to his arms and started tearing up.

-Hey, hey... Y/N, are you okay?

-Justin and I just broke up, I whispered into his ear

-Broke up? Y-You were a thing…? asked Seb.

-We were a thing, yeah.

Sebastian put his arms around my back and started making circles on it.

Fuck.

***

It had already been three and a half months, almost four, since we broke up. It still hurt a little to see Justin around, but let's just say I was getting better every day.

I rang the doorbell at their house and saw Sebastian, smiling in one of his hoodies that I loved to steal.

Since the breakup, Seb and I had moved beyond friendship, for sure. We were closer than ever,

-Hi! Are you ready?

-Hell yeah!

We had a ritual. Every Sunday, aka their day off, we'd watch a show, a movie, anime, whatever. We would eat and talk about everything. It was cool and relaxing.

We were watching The Notebook as I heard:

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day." (quote from the movie The Notebook, ngl, i never watched the movie, I just thought this was a good quote lol 😭)

Sebastian looked at me and paused the show and inhaled.

-I can't do this anymore.

I frowned in confusion and saw him sigh again.

-I can't stand it anymore when you keep pretending we're just friends.

My heart started to beat a little harder.

-I want more than this.

Sebastian took Yoobi in his hands, something he did when he was stressed or nervous.

-Y/N, I'm tired of pretending to be happy when you talk to me about other boys, pretending it doesn't get to me when you take Instagram pictures with them with such romantic caption and talking about me like I'm only your friend.

He fixed his eyes in mine.

-I'm tired of you not understanding that I have feelings for you, damn it.

I swallowed my saliva and felt my heart beat faster and faster.

I placed my lips on his, which were a soft comforting pink, a pink that meant "kiss me more". He accepted the kiss and put his hand in my hair. A smile came from him as he broke the gap between our mouths.

-I guess that means you feel the same way.

I smiled a little.

-You guess?

His smile stopped at his ears, leaving me to do the same.

-Well, ok... I'm sure.

He kissed me again, then whispered.

-I'm the one for you..

Hope you guys liked it!!

(NGL: this took me like super long to write it because I didn't know how to start it. However, I think it's not too bad? Lol. Let me know!)

[itzsana-kiddingmenow]

[squealing happily as i plop down on your lap, sharing my armloads of snacks and yummy fizzy drinks] OKAYOKAYOKAY , listen listenlistenlisten—

aside from the brainrot i've alr shared in dms , my frontal lobe has amplified the hyperfixation i have on + in this community right now so just imagine it with me.

like..... maybe it's just me , but there's something just so tantalizing about lee!changbin. right? just him being given all the love he could ever be given, all while being forced to see how adored he is , not only by his lovely members , but by stay as well!!~

idk if you know this but i'm an absolute sucker for the angst—hurt/comfort trope. 🥹 just the idea of one of the boys being comforted & reassured when they're going through a rough time heals me subconsciously , i think that's why i love it sm.

likeeee i was thinking of binnie & u take care of him so well in all your fics already they just :(( they make me so soft !! albeit , a certain puppy is catching my attention heavily these days. i was rly just thinking abt seungmin bro + how amazing he is?? like ,, his depth of character is smth i can ponder on and really marvel at. it baffles me cuz....

yk how seungminnie is one of the more misunderstood members?? he's known for being strong and disciplined and super dee duper smart , with cloud-soft features and the sweetest smile and a voice that lulls our stay nation into peace.... he's ofc our savage lil puppy 😆🥰. he's lovely and silly and entirely undermined. i want him to be caught in a vulnerable moment(s) , a moment(s) where he lets his walls down and allows himself to shed his composure and just feel the motions in all of its entirety and rawness. & his members are there for him every step of the way; they turn his bitter tears to joy and mirth , and suddenly the sky becomes one with the sun (that smile we love sm 😭🩵).

i dunno man, i just have a thing for the unflappable becoming.... flapped. (😭💀?) i have a thing for the cracks of humanity showing through what was previously thought impenetrable. in this case, the first members that come to mind are minho, seungmongmong... [ imagine a little hurt/comfort number with those two !! :(( our divorced-but-not-really couple. they may show to the cameras a tom-and-jerry esk relationship, but if anyone looks deeply, it's easy to see how their adoration for one another goes to the bones. aughhh imagine a small misunderstanding between them — maybe some staff/managers tell them to amp up their little love-hate concept, but it actually leads to an argument or something that goes beyond the cameras. tears are shed, words are exchanged, the works. they make up of course, and what better way to make up wounded plots other than sweet persuasive tickles and snuggles? 🤭🥹 ]

....... and our sweetpea wolf pup channie ofc.

gosh, that man works entirely too hard. every so often i remember the story from 2kr that he started crying from frustration and exhaustion, straight up in the middle of a meal, in a public restaurant, in front of seungmin, bc he trusted seungmin — solid as a rock seungmin — with his emotions in that moment and it's very much a whole thing to me. personally, i just want to pull him into an entirely too tight (but just-enough-ly comforting) hug that would last for hours, listen to any and all of his worries. from all the work and greatness he's been doing for years.... golly, i wouldn't mind if he went on a break that lasted a year or more. he deserves it, all of them do. they all work so hard :((

speaking of channie, imagine him breaking down in front of the members , or even worse , in secret (which i'm p sure happens irl too and i just MADE MHYSELF SADDER KJDJKSJH ITS NOT BC I BIAS HIM SHUDDUP 😭😭💔💔) from a reallyyyy bad stress pileup & maybe he even let it build up and slip to a point where he accidentally snaps a lil at his members :(( & ofc they go to look for him , either for confrontation or concern -> comfort (tho it would've led to that in any and all cases) just to find a sobbing and very regretful wolf pup licking at his wounds in painful silence and solitude <//3 :((

said member(s) would then take him into their lap , hold his hands in theirs and gently but firmly coax his worries out of him , hereby forcing him to say exactly what caused him to boil over and how to prevent it from happening in the near future bc they're there. he doesn't have to face his demons alone. & ofc , bc channie is channie , they get a slurred apology through his anguished tears , and he just lets himself be held as said member rocks him back and forth in their arms & channie cries it all out until he's drained.

+ once he's coaxed back into the land of the living with soft head scritches and readjusting of positions into a tighter hug, maaaaybe the hand(s) that had slipped into his hoodie [ skin-to-skin contact is very comforting + scientifically proven to bring such a sense , just like it's used to calm a crying baby :')) ] to rub small circles into his back rubbed down into his sides and , without rlly meaning to , he flinches and giggles bubble up from his tired throat. you can imagine how the rest goes 🥲🫠😚 & what a thing it'd be if seungmongie was this mystery member !! either him or minho ,,, and where one skz member is, the rest follow. it's just clockwork. or fate. 🥰

aghhhh i just,, love them. sm. sssssssoo much. they make me:

I WANNA FIND A WAY TO INCORPORATE ALL OF THIS INTO MY FICS BUT IDK HOWWW :C imma find a way zeep DO NOT WORRY

BUT LEE! MINHO AND LER! SEUNGMIN?!?! eating through my brain like termites to wood GRAHHHh 🫠🫠💗💗

LEE CHANNIE LER SKZ IS HAPPENING FOR TICKLETOBER DONTCHU WORRRYYY <3333

i love these love them love you love skz hadhwfnerifhenge