#maybe I also have gay feelings but I will be ignoring this

[swappermanent]

Normal Kids

“I’m 19! I’m old enough to make decisions about my own body!” I yelled, my voice echoing off the kitchen walls. My chest heaved as I stood across from my parents, their expressions a cocktail of disbelief, frustration, and something I couldn’t quite place—grief, maybe?

My mom crossed her arms tightly over her chest, looking anywhere but at me. “I’m sorry, we just… we can’t let you do that.”

“Let me?” I spat, the word tasting bitter. “You can’t let me? Do you even hear yourselves? This isn’t something you control! This is my life. My body.”

Dad rubbed his temples, his fingers digging into his skin like he could will the conversation away. “You’re too young to make a decision like this,” he said finally, his voice low but strained. “You don’t even know what you’re doing.”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life,” I shot back, feeling my hands shake. “I’ve spent years figuring this out—every sleepless night, every time I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself, every time I wanted to scream because I couldn’t be who I am. Don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Mom finally looked up, her face pale but her eyes blazing. “This isn’t about us not loving you. We just…” She paused, her voice trembling. “We don’t understand why you have to keep doing this to us.”

My stomach dropped, but I held my ground. “This isn’t something I’m doing to you. This is me—this is who I am. It’s not a phase or a rebellion or whatever else you want to call it. You’ve already been through this once with Liam. Are you seriously telling me you didn’t learn anything?”

Dad flinched, and I knew I’d hit a nerve. Liam, my older brother, had been their golden boy until he came out as gay a few years ago. It wasn’t pretty—he’d waited until he was moving out to tell them, probably because he knew exactly how they’d react. The disappointment in their eyes, the long silences, the occasional outburst when they thought no one else could hear… it had been brutal. But Liam had stood his ground, just like I was now.

When he left, I’d thought it couldn’t get worse. But then, a few months later, I’d come out as a lesbian. Their reaction had been less dramatic that time—probably because they were already so exhausted from Liam—but it wasn’t exactly warm, either. They’d treated it like a wound that would heal if they just ignored it long enough.

But this… this was different. A few weeks ago, I’d finally found the courage to tell them I was trans. And the look on their faces when I said those words—it was like I’d detonated a bomb in the living room.

“First Liam, and now this,” Mom had whispered that night, her voice shaking. “Why can’t we just have normal kids?”

That phrase had been replaying in my head ever since. Normal kids. Like there was some checklist of qualities that made you acceptable, and Liam and I had failed to meet every single one of them.

Now, as I stood in the kitchen, I felt that familiar mix of anger and sadness bubbling up. “I’m sorry I’m not the daughter you wanted,” I said, my voice breaking despite my best efforts. “But I can’t keep pretending to be someone I’m not just to make you comfortable.”

“Why can’t you wait?” Dad said, his voice softer now. “Just give it a few years, until you’re older. Until you’re absolutely sure.”

“I am sure,” I said, looking him directly in the eyes. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. And I’m not going to waste any more time being someone I’m not.”

Silence hung in the air like a heavy fog. My parents exchanged a glance, but neither of them said anything. For a moment, I thought I saw something shift in my mom’s expression—something that looked almost like understanding. But then it was gone, replaced by the same tight-lipped resolve.

“We just need time,” she said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. “This is… a lot.”

I nodded, biting back the sharp response I wanted to give. I knew I wouldn’t change their minds tonight. But I also knew that I wasn’t going to stop fighting. For Liam, for myself, for every other kid who’d ever been told they weren’t enough—I wasn’t going to give up.

For months, I begged and badgered my parents to let me start transitioning. Every conversation ended in a brick wall—excuses about my age, about not understanding the “gravity” of my decision, about the costs. They controlled the insurance, and they paid my college tuition. Without their approval, I was stuck. Trapped in a body that didn’t feel like mine and a life that didn’t feel like it fit.

But then, one evening, they relented.

“We’ve… been thinking about your request,” my mom said hesitantly over dinner. I immediately froze, my fork halfway to my mouth.

My dad chimed in. “We found a clinic that might be able to help.”

I blinked, surprised but cautious. “Really?” I asked, my voice laced with doubt.

“Yes,” my mom replied, forcing a smile. “It’s… unconventional, but we think it might be what you’re looking for. They specialize in full-body transformations.”

Something about her tone set me on edge, but I didn’t press. I was too desperate for their approval. If they were finally agreeing to help me, I wasn’t about to question it. The only condition? Liam had to take me.

I love my brother. He’s my rock, the only person who truly gets me. So, I didn’t mind the idea of him tagging along. In fact, I was relieved to have him there. I told myself that having his support would make this feel less terrifying.

The clinic was nothing like I expected. It wasn’t a sterile hospital or some dingy back-alley operation. It was sleek, modern, and impossibly fancy. Marble floors, pristine white walls, the faint smell of lavender in the air. The kind of place you’d expect celebrities to visit for some high-end spa treatment.

A woman in a crisp white suit greeted us at the front desk. Her smile was warm but unnervingly perfect. “Welcome,” she said. “We’ve been expecting you.”

Liam raised an eyebrow at me, but I shrugged. We were led into a private lounge, where they offered us water and reassured me that the procedure was safe and effective. A doctor arrived shortly after and explained that Liam and I would be separated for a brief consultation. That seemed odd, but I didn’t overthink it. Maybe they wanted to talk about medical history or something.

The moment I stepped into my consultation room, my gut told me something was off. It wasn’t the room itself—it was just as fancy as the rest of the place, with plush chairs and soft lighting—but there was an odd energy in the air. The doctor who entered was an older man with kind eyes, but his words sent a chill down my spine.

“This isn’t your typical hormone therapy clinic,” he began. “What we offer here is… revolutionary. Instead of months or years of transitioning, we provide an immediate solution.”

I frowned. “Immediate?”

“Yes,” he said, leaning forward. “We specialize in body-swapping technology. You would be able to inhabit a different body entirely—one that aligns with who you truly are.”

My stomach flipped. “Body-swapping?” I repeated, barely able to process what he was saying.

The doctor nodded, his expression calm, like this was the most normal thing in the world. “In your case, your parents have arranged for a body that they believe would suit you. Strong, male, conventionally attractive. We’re ready to begin the process, provided we have your consent.”

My heart was pounding now. “What body?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Your brother’s,” the doctor said simply.

The room spun. “What?” I croaked. “You’re saying… you want me to swap bodies with Liam?”

The doctor nodded again. “Yes. Your parents thought this would provide you with the life you’re seeking—male, straight, and socially acceptable. Liam has already been sedated and prepped for the procedure. He’ll retain his memories and sense of self, but he’ll wake up in your body.”

My mind raced, trying to piece everything together. “Does Liam… does he know about this?”

“No,” the doctor admitted. “He doesn’t need to. He’ll adapt in time. All we need is your consent.”

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. This was insane. They wanted to rip apart my brother’s life without his knowledge, without his consent. It was horrifying. And yet… the image of Liam’s body flashed in my mind. He was everything I’d ever wanted to be—handsome, muscular, confident. I imagined the life I could have in his shoes. The ease, the acceptance. The chance to finally feel right in my own skin.

“You’ll be happy,” the doctor said, as though reading my thoughts. “This is the opportunity of a lifetime.”

I clenched my fists, my heart racing. Every fiber of my being screamed that this was wrong, that Liam didn’t deserve this. But at the same time, the temptation was undeniable. How could I say no to something I’d dreamed of my entire life?

“I…” My voice wavered. I glanced at the door, imagining Liam just a room away, completely unaware of what was happening.

But the thought of waking up in his body, of finally feeling at home, was too powerful to ignore.

“I’ll do it,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “I’ll do it.”

The doctor’s smile widened. “Excellent. Let’s get started.”

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the weight. Not the kind that dragged you down, but something grounding, solid, like my body was finally my own. My eyelids fluttered open, and my heart skipped as I caught sight of my arm resting against the pristine white sheets. Strong, defined, dusted with dark hair that caught the soft light streaming in through the window. I flexed my fingers experimentally, watching tendons shift under the skin.

It felt… right.

I sat up, the sheets pooling around my waist, and ran a hand over my chest. The sensation of my fingers brushing through coarse hair was electric. My pecs were firm, rising and falling with each breath, and I couldn’t stop myself from tracing the ridges of muscle down to my abs. Every touch felt like discovering a secret, a hidden part of myself I’d been waiting my entire life to meet.

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I caught sight of my reflection in the full-length mirror across the room. My breath hitched. Liam’s body—no, my body—looked even more incredible in motion. Broad shoulders, a tapered waist, the kind of build that turned heads. I stood slowly, marveling at the way my thighs tensed with the movement, the muscles taut and powerful beneath the skin.

I stepped closer to the mirror, placing a hand on the glass as though I needed to prove this was real. My other hand drifted up to my jaw, rough with stubble. I dragged my fingers across it, savoring the gritty sensation. The shadow of a beard framed my face, making my features sharper, more defined. I tilted my head, flexing experimentally, watching my shoulders and arms ripple with strength.

A shiver ran down my spine as I splayed my fingers across my chest, the dark hair soft yet coarse against my palm. My nipples stiffened under my touch, the sensation sparking an unfamiliar but intoxicating heat. I trailed my hand lower, tracing the faint line of hair that led down my stomach, feeling the muscles shift beneath my fingertips.

I turned to the side, marveling at the broadness of my back, the way it tapered into my hips. My hand skimmed over the curve of my biceps, then down to my forearm, where veins snaked beneath the skin, pulsing faintly with life. Every inch of me felt alive, thrumming with energy I’d never known before.

A sudden laugh escaped my lips, low and rich, surprising me with its depth. I couldn’t help but grin, running a hand through my hair, which was thick and slightly messy from sleep. The movement flexed my arm, and I turned back to the mirror, caught up in the intoxicating sight of strength and masculinity. This was me—finally me.

The knock at the door was soft but purposeful, and when I turned, the nurse from earlier stepped in. She was petite but poised, her blonde hair swept into a neat ponytail, her cheeks tinged pink as she glanced at me. I realized I was still shirtless, standing in all my glory, and I couldn’t help but smirk. The confidence in this body felt second nature, like slipping on a well-tailored suit.

“Just checking to see how you’re feeling,” she said, her voice warm but a little breathy. Her eyes lingered on my chest a beat too long before darting away, her blush deepening.

“I’m feeling incredible,” I said, letting my voice drop an octave. “But you probably hear that a lot.”

She chuckled nervously, her hands fiddling with the clipboard she carried. “Well, we do aim to please.”

I stepped closer, the smooth strength of my legs propelling me forward effortlessly. “You’ve done more than that.” I flexed my arm casually, the muscles swelling under my skin. “I’m guessing Liam—uh, I—had an arms workout yesterday. Feel that.” I offered my bicep, and her eyes widened slightly before she hesitantly reached out.

Her fingers brushed my skin, and I tensed the muscle, watching her expression shift as she gave a quiet, appreciative gasp. “Wow,” she murmured. “That’s… impressive.”

“Thanks,” I said, grinning. “All yours to admire.”

Her blush deepened, but she didn’t pull away. Emboldened, I let my hand rest lightly on her waist. Her breath hitched, and I could feel the warmth of her body through her scrubs. My touch was gentle, but I knew the strength behind it was unmistakable—controlled, deliberate, intoxicating.

“You’re incredible,” I said softly, my thumb tracing small circles on her side. She shivered under my touch, her gaze locking with mine. The tension in the room was electric, every second stretching out tantalizingly. My hand drifted lower, just brushing the curve of her hip.

I reached for the waistband of my pants, ready to strip down and revel in this moment fully when—

The door burst open with a crash, and I whipped around to see myself—my old self—standing there, wide-eyed and furious.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

[love-byers]

i’m having byler doubt rn and i can’t stop thinking about mike already knowing that will’s gay and he might’ve realized that over the few months of will being away in between s3-s4

what if the “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” scene isn’t mike projecting but him sort of having a feeling that will likes him romantically. or mike hearing from el that will is painting for a girl he likes, and then he sees will holding a painting in the airport and realizes, that’s why he was being so awkward. and before someone says “mike saw the painting after the awkward hug with will”, what if he actually saw it the moment he walked closer to them and that’s why he pointed it out right away?

and the whole “that’s because she’s my girlfriend, will” “we’re friends. we’re friends” scene. what if he was trying to reject will without being obvious about it. i know he’s like canonically oblivious but what if he’s not?

this is me asking for reassurance/proofs that counters this because it’s bothering me sm 😭 i have some claims in my head that oppose to these but i guess it’s better to hear it from others

1. if mike was suspecting will was gay in the rain fight then he's being homophobic lmao

same dude that tried to fight a homophobe for talking bad about will takes a jab at will for being gay? what changed? why did mike become mildly homophobic between s1 and s3? bc he got a girlfriend? that's not a great message to send...

and like...come on. look at his face. he's heartbroken because will just said he used to want to spend the rest of his life with mike, but not anymore, because mike has made that out to sound outlandish and clearly doesn't want that. that should be further confirming to mike that will does have feelings for him, and he reacts like this?

and if he does suspect will has feeling for him, wtf is this?? 😭 why is he so giddy about will reaffirming what once made mike think will likes him??

2.

it seems like mike had pre planned how he was going to greet will, which was with a shoulder pat. "i can't hug him, that's weird, isn't it??" which would imply that mike thinks hugging will would be romantic....why? he hugs all his other friends normally with no hesitation. and how could he have figured out will liked him between s3 and s4 if he and will barely spoke? and if that's how he treats will when he thinks will might like him, then he's an asshole! 😭😭

and if mike suspected the painting was for him, he was noticeably upset after will said it wasn't for him

he doesn't seem very happy to have confirmation will doesn't have feelings for him 😭 and he went on to be pissy the whole day because will wasn't talking to him. why is he more worried about his platonic bro than his girlfriend?

like i just said, will not giving him the painting should ease all his worries that will has feelings for him. they're just friends. and then will goes on to ignore him all day. why would he still be in the mindset that will likes him during the rink o mania fight?

and we don't have to theorize what was going on with mike between s3 and s4 and at rink o mania. he tells us

"thanks by the way."

"for what?"

"for knocking some sense into me, i mean was being a total self pitying idiot."

during the rink o mania fight, will is knocking some sense into mike. he's saying will was right about everything.

"hey also, about the last few days--"

"you don't have to say anything. i was being a total jerk to el, i deserved it."

"no. no you didn't deserve anything. listen, the last year has been weird, you know?"

mike goes straight from his behavior towards will to how he felt during their time apart. so the two are connected, clearly, since mike is telling us

"i mean max and lucas and dustin, they're great, they're great, it's just...it's hawkins it's not the same without you. and i feel like maybe i was worrying too much about el...i don't know, maybe i feel like i lost you or something."

mike was acting that way because he desperately missed will and felt like will had left a hole in his life. home didn't feel like home anymore. he was torn up inside over it. and he worried that will wasn't reaching out because of how he'd treated will over the summer (ditching him to hang out with el), and that he'd lost will because of that. he's kicking himself, hating himself because he screwed it all up. and he thinks that at the same time he is torn up missing will, feeling all these big feelings about him, will is unbothered, off making new friends. not only does this make him feel like he's feeling too much for will, but he shifts the blame onto will (because he's a self pitying idiot). he feels like it's his own fault, so he projects onto will and makes it wills fault. he doesn't reach out because he thinks will has grown up and moved on like mike had been encouraging him to do all summer, and he doesn't want will to know about all these deep feelings he's having, like will has left a hole in his life, so he doesn't reach out either. he doesn't want to come off desperate. he begins questioning the nature of his feelings towards will, worrying that it's something more than just friendship. if will doesn't care, why does he? why does he care so much?? what's wrong with him??

so he goes on defense. he is not going to let will know how he's been feeling, he's going act aloof. he's going to act like he doesn't care. we are just friends. i don't feel anything more for you, will. see? i don't even want to hug you, i am very clearly your platonic bro. see, everyone? see, el? see, jonathan? i'm straight and he's my platonic bro friend. he's making a spectacle out of it, because grappling with internalized homophobia. he feels like he needs to prove that he's straight.

however mike is a dumbass and instead of realizing that he was way too in his own head. and considering that treating will that way might hurt his feelings, he just gets angry that will isn't treating him the same. will isn't talking to him. will is acting glum. why?? how does he have the audacity to act sad?? this is all his fault in the first place!! if he hadn't gone off and forgotten about me and made me feel this way then none of this would've happened!! he's got to be doing this on purpose!!

and then in the rink o mania fight, it ticks mike off even more because now will is acting like he did nothing wrong. and then:

"well what about us?"

"what?"

uh oh. this is what mike feared. us?? what about us?? there is no us, that's a romantic thing, and we're friends, totally just friends.

"you called maybe a couple of times. it's been a year, mike. meanwhile el has like a book of letters from you."

"that's because she's my girlfriend, will!"

if mike had sent will letters, it would've been gay...? why? actual straight guys don't have to go out of their way to not be gay💀💀

"and us?"

"we're friends! we're friends!"

mike takes this as will asking what the nature of their relationship is, because that's what mike had been doing the whole time they were apart. it was already fresh in his mind. he was being hypervigilant. but that backfires, because will wasn't questioning that. he merely misses their friendship, because will thinks that's all they'll ever be. if he can never have mike romantically, he at least wants to preserve their friendship.

will never questions the nature of their relationship. he thinks he's got it all figured out. he likes mike, but mike is straight, and that's how it'll always be. they will always be just friends. meanwhile mike is still being a disaster with internalized homophobia, questioning his own feelings and projecting it onto will. he's confused and scared and messy as fuck.

but will knocked some sense into him. will made him realize that all this defensiveness and projection was hurting them. will isn't playing with him, will isn't out to get him, will hasn't moved on from him. will still cares, and mike can just be honest with him. so he is, and that's how we get the talk in wills room. mike is honest and vulnerable and puts it out there that he just misses will and wants to be best friends and stick together. and at the end of the day that's all will wants too.

and also, about mike trying to reject will by saying we're friends, again that's a pretty aggressive and homophobic-ish way to do that don't you think? if mike has will all figured out why is he being an asshole?? most people who suspect a friend has feelings for them do not go on attack mode and shoot down every advance the friend makes, even if they're just platonic. that's the behavior of someone who is projecting

here are some other posts i've made about this topic:

here

here

here

here

here

stay strong my fellow byler warrior, this battle will be over soon

[livingincolorsagain]

fuck it friday snippet saturday? is that a thing?

tagged by @capseycartwright, thank you so much for the tag lorna! <33. for this i picked a doc at random lol, so here’s a snippet from an idiot4idiot buddie wip where eddie ‘comes out’ to buck by ‘asking him out’ to go to a gay club together. ft. jealous insane oblivious buck, because this is me after all, and also everyone being so so done with them

no pressure tagging @saryasy @stevethehairington @confessionseddie @inell @letthesunburnyourskin <33

The club is Eddie’s idea, which Buck would look back on later and want to ram his head into a fucking wall.

In hindsight, Eddie was a little nervous when he suggested that particular club, and Buck took it as him trying to be a good friend and ally while also being uncomfortable with the idea of the two of them alone at a gay club, so he took it upon himself to invite Maddie, Chimney, Hen, and Karen to come with, ignoring the way Maddie’s eye twitched when he told her about the whole thing.

So here they are now, on a breezy Saturday night, and Buck is sitting with one side pressed up against Hen and the other empty because Eddie is at the bar, grabbing them a new round of drinks, leaning a little over the counter, and every head that has turned to look at him as he walked over is still staring, because he’s wearing tight pants and leaning over, and it’s making his ass more pronounced, and Buck isn’t staring, but also he isn’t not staring, and really, he didn’t even know Eddie wore such tight pants outside of work, which is always bad and distracting enough, not for Buck, obviously, just in general, and—

A guy slides over to Eddie’s side, leaning back on the bar, his eyes going up and down the length of Eddie’s body before they pause at his face. Buck can’t really see Eddie’s face, but he can see the satisfied look on the stranger’s face, and suddenly he regrets agreeing to come here at all. They need to leave, probably. Immediately. The club isn’t even that good, he’s not sure why Eddie wanted to come here. Buck is bored. He just needs to find where Maddie and Karen are, they’re still probably dancing together, and then they will leave, and he will go home with Eddie, maybe have a beer or two as they sit around the kitchen table and talk about nothing for an hour or so. But instead he has to watch as the stranger tilts his head and looks at Eddie like he wants to devour him, which is just—

“There’s steam coming out of your ears,” Hen says drily, and Buck blinks, eyes dry like he hasn’t blinked in a very long time.

“What?” He asks, trying to turn to look at her, but just as he’s about to, Eddie throws his head back laughing and Buck feels himself sitting up straighter, ears perked up even though it’s impossible for him to hear what they’re talking about from all the way across the club. He should probably go check on Eddie. It’s been so long and he really does need that drink.

“I’m gonna go see what’s taking Eddie so long,” he says, still not taking his eyes off them.

“I think we can see just fine from over here.”

“I’m just gonna check on him.”

“He looks perfectly fine.”

“We don’t know that, we can’t see his face.”

“We can, you’ve just been staring at his ass all night.”

Buck’s eye twitches. “Yeah, let me go see what’s going on.”

[wholahoop]

Writing Interview

Thanks to the excellent @xalandrix, @lqtraintracks and @saintgarbanzo for tagging me! ❤️

how many works do you have on ao3? 61 (though I think technically it's only 59, as I'm pretty sure I still have double versions of a couple of old Yuletide exchange fics back when they moved the collections over to AO3)

What’s your total ao3 word count? 1,242,791

Your top 5 stories by kudos?

A big hello to most of my hd_holidays and Erised fics, lol!

Tea and No Sympathy (52k 😮)

Written on the Heart

The Sleeping Beauty Curse

The Potter-Malfoy Problem

Star Quality

(My remaining hd_hols and erised fics are numbers 6 and 7, haha)

Do you respond to comments? uh, sometimes? I usually respond to comments that come in shortly after I've posted. Otherwise, I tend to have a burst of energy every now and then and leave a heap of replies that can be summarised as "lol this is 3 years late, but thanks for your comment ilu!!!" I've caught up on comments on everything, pretty much, apart from my four H/D longfics. I probably won't go back and reply to everything on those, because I suspect it would take me a full working week 😅

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? My ends range from happy to extremely, extremely happy, haha. Even the one fic that has an open ending I view as happy, because it leaves the characters in a really good place where it's pretty obvious (to me, at least!) that everything is going to go beautifully well.

Oh! I did write an origfic take on the Bluebeard fairytale once, Jam Tomorrow, which has a less straightforward ending? This is the only time I've ever tried second person pov, and it's a more experimental/literary-style fic than is usual for me. I was really happy with it!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? What a difficult question 😂 For non-H/D, I'd say Best Nightmare Come True (SK8, matchablossom) lingers the most in the afterglow, and I think Kyoya Ootori's Guide to Self-Deception for Fun and Profit (Ouran High School Host Club, Kyoya/Haruhi) is pretty lovely.

For H/D, I'd say either Star Quality or The Sleeping Beauty Curse. Though I only exclude Written on the Heart, haha, because the ending is a bit rushed - I think it works well enough and I'm not unhappy with it, but if I hadn't been writing to a deadline oh god I was so late then it might well have been 30k longer, with more aftermath of them fixing the spell.

Do you write crossovers? I was going to say no, but I remembered I did write one once! And Then It Bit Him, a Harry Potter/Petshop of Horrors crossover for the amazing painless_j, who was a really respected and influential reccer back in the day. I think it has Snape's animagus form being a worm 😂

I haven't reread Petshop of Horrors, for years! It's a light horror manga series, with a Japanese nature god, Count D, who basically sells people animals with rules attached, which they inevitably disobey to their peril. Like the film Gremlins, haha. There's a great ship with him and the local cop, Leon, who's VERY suspicious of him, but who somehow becomes his closest friend against both of their wills. It's not BL but it's very shippable. I loved it, but it's also 20? 25? years old, and Count D is androdgynous leaning towards feminine, while Leon is, er, a cop who's clearly resistant to the idea he might be gay and falling for D, so there's a good chance it has some nasty dated humour lurking in there.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Maybe a few times a year? It's mostly hate towards the fic rather than hate aimed at me, haha, although sometimes it's both. I usually just ignore it or delete it. If it really, really winds me up, then I reply 'lol', so they know I've read it, and then delete it 😂

I usually consider it positive, in the sense that if I've really wound someone up, then at least I'm making them feel something with my writing, right?! Usually people who leave rants fall into a couple of categories:

They really, really love Draco, and think he's perfect and pure and blameless, and how dare Harry be even slightly shitty to him, Harry is the WORST. At the pinnacle of this, is the lengthy comment that still makes me laugh/grind my teeth about how Harry was abusive to Draco and I was a terrible person for presenting such abuse as romantic. (I mean, that sounds like it could be a hot, fucked up fic 😂 But it's not one I wrote!)

They are OUTRAGED by the unfairness of McGonagall re-sorting Harry into Slytherin in an eighth year fic, rather than the hat doing it, lolol. Have they never considered that the idea of sorting people into school houses based on the goals and personalities they have when they're 11 - and one of the personality types is 'ambitious and evil', while another is 'everyone else' - is a particularly fucking stupid one? That maybe their school house isn't all that important when the kids have grow up, and have fought a war? And that the only thing the houses are actually used for in the books turns out to be dormitory allocations, house points and sporting rivalries?

They are triggered by Harry taking up the arse, when obviously it is Draco's role in life to be ploughed instead

I did not tag for [rimming, a bad joke, that the couple are fifth cousins twice removed so it's INCEST you freak, etc etc]. Strangely, I don't remember ever getting any hate on my actual incest fic, The Evil Devil Child and the Perfect Gift, where Scorpius is a charming teenage psychopath who finds out his dad is hot for Harry, and manages to persuade Al to roleplay Harry/Draco in his mission to get their parents together. It's even filthier and more fucked up than it sounds 😂 I still love this Scorpius with all my soul.

Do you write smut? Maybe?

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. Frequently.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! ❤️ A lot of my fics are in Chinese and Russian, and some in French, and I think a couple in Italian and Spanish too. It's so cool!

Have you ever co-written a fic? Nope. I drive myself up the wall trying to get a fic written. I couldn't inflict that on another person 😂

What’s your all time favourite ship? H/D (yes, I still prefer calling it that to Drarry, lol!)

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? A long time ago I completely failed to finish a Snarry fic I'd promised to someone who'd won an auction :( She was very gracious and understanding, and completely forgave me, but I still feel shitty I didn't come through. I used to love Snarry, but it was a complicated ship for me with competing love and ick feelings, and the pressure got to me so I lost my Snarry mojo completely.

What are your writing strengths? Oh, that's a hard one to answer, but with my self-confident hat on: I think I can write a bloody good love story.

What are your writing weaknesses? Overwriting, for sure - I don't always need to use so many words, or have such long sentences. I overuse italics and ellipses and dashes. If you think my posted fics have a lot of these, you should have seen them before :D

I love an adverb! I replace a lot in editing, because showing rather than telling is so much more effective, but a lot also stay.

I also get stuck on particular words/phrases and repeat them. I try to catch the worst offenders in editing, but in a long fic sometimes you just have to go with it - so please forgive me if you spot I used the word ridiculous a billion times, or someone runs their hand through their hair as a nervous tic a billion times, or whatever.

I also repeat a lot of ideas in fics, though I'm not convinced that's a weakness. If I do reread my fics though, it's pretty obvious what my narrative kinks are though, haha: significant gifts, fireworks, proposals, dining at a fancy restaurant, I could go on.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic? Mostly I avoid it - I don't see the point in including foreign dialogue when my reader won't understand it, unless my viewpoint character doesn't understand it either. (And even then, it's risky unless I speak that language - which I don't - because you can guarantee a reader will, and they'll lol at your ropey Google translate attempt.)

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? I have plenty of ships I haven't written anything for yet, but nothing I'm actively longing to write - if I was, I would have already started something.

What’s your favourite thing you’ve ever written? Oh, that's mean. I'm proud of basically 99% of everything I've written. I think maybe my favourite H/D is Star Quality - I think it's the best paced and plotted, and there's something about pop star Draco covered in glitter that feeds my soul 😂 Plus I love the journeys they both go on in terms of coming to terms with their sexualities - Harry's self-acceptance of something he was ashamed of, and Draco's bravery in doing what always felt impossible to him and coming out to his parents, because he wanted Harry so much he couldn't stand it any more ❤️

I also adore my Ouran fic. I don't write much het, and I don't usually write teen-rated fics either, but it's quiet, and heartfelt, and somehow the most romantic fic I've ever written. Plus I did a ton of research about Japanese culture so I think it does actually feel relatively Japanese. Oh, and I did a ton of research about Harvard too, where part of the fic is set, and I got a comment from someone asking if I'd been to Harvard too, so I considered that the highest of praise!!!

I don't remember who hasn't done this already to tag 😂 So, uh, @bewarethesmirk, @sweet-s0rr0w, @tackytigerfic, @eleadore, @epitomereally, @letteredlettered, @kamaela and any other writer friends scrolling on by who haven't!

[charmac]

than copy-paste my ask w/out the stuff about his acting bc the rest of the stuff i said is still completly valid. i don't get why stans refuse to even admit that their fav is some times a bad person and call them out on their bullshit. you can still like him without ignoring or excusing his shitty behavoir

"not trying to start anything i really want to hear your and other ppls opinions. after seeing that redit video today abt the onset fight combined with other stuff glenn has said and done like the antivax stuff. im starting to really dislike glenn. he acts like a self obsessed tool all the time but so many stans baby him so much that they refuse to see or say anything about it [deleted] but maybe you or others have reasons to stan him pls share bc im clearly missing somthing. i dont want to not like him but hes making it very hard"

(the Reddit video being Rob talking about how Glenn freaked out during the filming of The Gang Saves the Day because he didn't feel comfortable getting "shot" in the scene with Dee killing all of them and threw a tantrum on set)

First of all, I don't think anyone refuses to admit Glenn is anything but perfect, and I also don't think anyone excuses his "shitty behaviour," but while you only may have just become aware of this moment, it was first brought to light in 2017, right before Glenn left the show "for good" and has kinda been hashed to death. If you're genuinely asking 'why is no one talking about Glenn's temper tantrums from 8+ years ago,' idk how to answer that question other than: why would we be? It's just not relevant

We know, from set stories and Glenn himself, that Glenn has gone through many ups and downs on the set of Sunny. He's spoken quite a bit about how his attitude has ruined the vibe and created a lot of tension in the writers room and on set before, and it's something he needed Rob to bring to his attention in Season 11 because he couldn't recognise it harmed other people (and that's what led him to realise he needed to walk away). I think it's not, like, a hidden or dismissed aspect of his personality that he's a diva, even today after righting his attitude and returning, he still tends to "method act" to a degree when he's playing Dennis and comes off a certain way

So yes, he's been "exposed" as a brat on set and a little entitled in general, and he's got some questionable views on health, for sure and I think that can make you dislike him and if that's so...that's fine. I don't think anyone in this fandom cares if you do or don't, honestly, but that works both ways.

People who post about Glenn in fond ways aren't going to disclose that they know he's entitled and centrist every time they post anything about him, but whenever something does happen/come out, people do criticise it in the moment. The Podcast brought a lot to light and it seemed like weekly we were scrutinizing something RCG said but, like, there's genuinely nothing Glenn has done in the past year that the fandom has chosen to ignore for the sake of excusing his shitty behaviour...? Are we supposed to rehash dead and buried RCG drama just because it was reposted to a different platform?

I get if you're just learning about him as a person now it can be weird to see most people who are actively talking about him seem to just be stanning him blindly, but that's really not true. The TASP days are just behind us, and Glenn's PR is very strong with his gay whiskey tour front and center (and you're asking me lol).

As to providing you with reasons for stanning him... just search "Glenn Howerton Interview" on Youtube.. or watch this one .. and if you don't get it, you probably just don't like him and that's fine, lol he'll probably get you eventually if you're around long enough

[grabowskibeepboop]

Exactly, I mean I'm not a gay man, but I'm always kind of annoyed when I base my headcanon of what I think the relationship dynamic of a ship would be on how they act and what I know about them, and sometimes I get the vibe that the relationship wouldn't fit into your old big strong tall masculime top x petite weak feminine twink bottom "norms", which sometimes it does, and it's fine, but a lot of the time it won't, maybe they're both masculime, maybe they're both feminine, maybe some of the qualities you would imagine either one having are reversed, and when it comes to sexuality as well, I base my headcanon off of what I know, have they been attracted to the other gender before, do I think it was genuine attraction, what do they think about each gender, whatever, anyways, and then I go to the fandom for content and see that almost everyone has fallen victim to the heteronormative mindset, it's so annoying, and even when the characters aren't very stereotypical, when I think the masc but short one is top and the tall but more feminine one is bottom, they think otherwise because the top one needs to be tall and the bottom needs to be short, but when I think that the tall but more feminine is on top and the short masc one is the bottom of course everyone else thinks otherwise again, but that's more of a personal beef I have with everyone else, but yeah in the tags you mentioned Drarry, assuming you're talking about how most people headcanon Harry to be bi and Draco to be gay, which to be honest I headcanon as well, because Harry did show interest in girls as well, however I do have the biggest beef with the drarry fandom as well, because I absolutely despise the thought of bottom Draco, idk why, but also I have read a post explaining why someone else doesn't like it and I relate to it so I kind of do know why, he was basically a puppet all his life and deserves a bit of dominance now that everything is fine, and bi men can be bottoms, sometimes people think they're like "a hole is a hole" which I'm not saying they can't or shouldn't be like, but it's not how it always goes. I'm also a big fan of heterosexual ships that aren't heteronormative, but I don't despise heteronormativity either, but people have to let go of it a little bit to let everyone else blossom out of their cocoons, but also to be honest I do like that heteronormativity makes what I am and what I do a little weird, I feel like I'm going against the rules, which I don't usually do, so this is all I have, but yeah, sometimes you can be ignorant without realizing it

i'm hoping that people are listening when us mlms say that carving mlm relationships into a heteronormative mold is blatently homophobic. something else i've noticed is that in these homophobic caricatures, fandoms tend to make the "more masculine" man bisexual, where as the "more feminine" man is always gay - implying that having attraction to women is manly and being attracted to only men is emasculinating. this honestly fucked up my perception of my own sexuality growing up, making me feel like i couldn't be attracted to men without being feminine. i'm not saying that gay men aren't allowed to be feminine, or that bisexual men aren't allowed to be masculine, but it is such an overplayed stereotype which only really caters to cis women who want to project themselves into some sort of yaoi fantasy.

[andiv3r]

Having to block everyone who has "wincest dni" in their bio not because I ship wincest (because I have come to the conclusion that I actually don't) but because I do think it'd be fun to poke around at the very real weirdness of their relationship that I've noticed in the show so far. And I'm 99% sure that my poking around will get seen as shipping.

[scattered-winter]

made the mistake of reading through the political discussions on my big family groupchat that I usually keep muted. you must never do such a thing.

[shannonsketches]

lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament

[noviceunicorn]

yesss another cdrama with esther yuuu

I will be watchingg

The way he deflated like a balloon instantly at her hug and then obediently lowered himself so she could tie his hair — PEAK ROMANCE!!!

[chirpsythismorning]

🎨 🖼️ 🌈 🩹 🧍🏽💡 🔮⚡️☄️

How Can I Be Sure by The Young Rascals

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Special Features

Will Won't Believe Mike Has Feelings For Him, Until Mike Unpacks EVERYTHING!

[kalashtars]

unironically i think fellow travelers is my new comfort show which is insane considering the subject matter but truly there's something addictive about it

[huxleyfamilyvalues]

perpetually wondering if i talk too much about myself or not talk enough because it seems that when i do talk about my interests to other people they just kind of ignore me which is fine because i dont expect people to be interested in my obsessions. Hrm. Social Relationships.

[subsequentibis]

huge fan of those series of drawings connecting fall out boy & mcr songs to metal gear. when i figure out how to hold a drawing tablet stylus again and start doing it with they might be giants it's Over.

[sege-h]

Its PPRIDE and its the FIRST EVER ARO VISIBILITY DAY, allowing me to unlock my powers to fire godzilla beams from my mouth and evaporate anyone that implies Sonic wouldnt save or try to save Shadow if he wasnt gay for him

WOULD YOU RESERVE LIFE SAVING TO YOUR ROMANTIC PARTNERS ONLY, AND LEAVE "ONLY" A FRIEND TO FALL FROM SPACE? BECAUSE THEYRE "JUST" A FRIEND?

PATHETIC

WEAK

IF I WERE SONIC ID SIMPLY SAVE EVERYONE WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP ALONE--oh wait he already does that

😤

[nightowlfury]

honestly i used to think like. i might be the kind of person that prioritizes shipping over the actual themes in a story. but i am slowly realizing that im Rly not. and sometimes it irks me if the show itself does just that (prioritizing shipping over other themes and relationships), which...is sort of the point of a lot of thai bls

from what ive seen, the exception i think is p'aof's shows for me. in a lot of them he really rounds out all the characters and makes them exist outside of each other, and emphasizes those other relationships (familial, platonic, etc.) as really important. he does this while also satisfying the coupling expectations + integrating them cohesively so i have a ton of respect for him bc of that

but in other shows it sort of feels like...the goal above all else is to make ppl coo over the couples. the plot and other relationships come second to that and can be reduced further to make way for the romance. which. i guess is just another way to do it and im not saying the plot + other relationships are always Bad necessarily but idk. maybe just not my favorite way to go about things personally