#may be gone. but jose isn’t! and pulled him out like he usually does to make tense moments easy again. but this time entirely just for him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

artificialqueens · 5 years ago

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what doesn't kill me makes me want you more (branjie) - holtzmanns

read on ao3 | tumblr

“I did mean it, you know.” Brooke looks at her with such an intensity in her eyes, such conviction that Vanessa doesn’t even feel her ADD ass getting distracted by anything at all this time.

“Mean what?” Vanessa’s gonna play dumb. Gonna make Brooke say it again, ‘cause she’s never gonna tire of hearing it.

“That I love you.”

AN: In which Holtzmanns hears ‘Cruel Summer’ by Taylor Swift and has to write something because she has no self control whatsoever. Whoops? Poppedthep and Writ are absolute stars and the BEST for editing this and making it better.

“I did mean it, you know.” Brooke looks at her with such an intensity in her eyes, such conviction that Vanessa doesn’t even feel her ADD ass getting distracted by anything at all this time.

“Mean what?” Vanessa’s gonna play dumb. Gonna make Brooke say it again, ‘cause she’s never gonna tire of hearing it.

“That I love you.”

Even though it fucking hurts every time.

“Good. You better.” She deflects, shoves Brooke’s side to make her laugh, ‘cause what else is she supposed to do?

It’s not like Brooke’s words actually mean anything. Not in the way Vanessa wants them to, needs them to.

They’re empty. Empty promises, a bandage wrapped around an amicable breakup that sure as hell ain’t been easy to get over.

Because no matter how much Brooke says them, no matter the way she had to snap her fingers in front of Vanessa’s face earlier to get her to focus, to pay attention so that she could say ‘I love you’, Vanessa knows they don’t matter.

‘Cause Vanessa knows that Brooke doesn’t love her enough.

Brooke still goes after every hoe, every hot piece of trade that she wants to take back to her hotel room, going home with them. She knows she’s the shit. She doesn’t care that Vanessa sees, ‘cause why would it matter to her now?

They’re not together.

Brooke doesn’t love her like that. Enough to stop herself from sleeping around, enough to commit.

Vanessa’s fine with it, she is. Mostly ‘cause she has to be. How else is she gonna survive touring with her ex?

It beats the fighting, the nasty words. The cruel barbs she regrets the second they leave her mouth when she sees the way that Brooke’s eyes falter. Brooke can get away with causing Vanessa pain, fucking around, not giving a shit. But Vanessa’s unable to come for Brooke in any way that would leave a permanent mark on her pale skin.

It’s not Brooke’s fault. She doesn’t say anything. It’s Vanessa’s own inner voice, tutting in her head, Chile…don’t do that. Don’t stay stooping low.

Now that she thinks about it, her inner voice sounds a lot like A’keria.

They share an Uber back to the Gladstone Hotel with Jason and Steve ‘cause it’s cost efficient, not that either of them have to worry about money anymore. They’re still in drag and Vanessa’s feet are killing her, pinching in her heeled boots but at least she looks fucking good in them. Brooke still towers over her and Vanessa has to speed up her pace to keep up as they walk through the lobby.

Jason and Steve get off at their respective floors. They leave Vanessa in the elevator with Brooke, ‘cause she’s on the seventh floor and Brooke’s pressed the 6 button for herself. Vanessa doesn’t have to look up to know that Brooke’s eyes are on her, trailing up her dress and lingering on the highlight on her shoulders and the hand that she runs through her hair. Her gaze feels like it lights a flame across her body, burning and burning. It never burns bright enough to bring Vanessa down for good, make her fully fall apart. She always manages to survive it, albeit a little worse for wear.

The elevator dings when it reaches the sixth floor, and Brooke takes a step as the doors open. She doesn’t leave fully, though, one foot still in the elevator. She turns around, gives Vanessa those eyes. The ones that Vanessa can never fucking say no to ‘cause something about Brooke makes her weak.

“You coming?”

Vanessa rolls her eyes, huffs, as if she’s not clamoring to follow her. “Fine, bitch. You better have extra makeup wipes.”

Vanessa sits cross legged on Brooke’s bathroom counter in her underwear, stripping her face of the makeup and glitter that acts like an extra set of armour, though one not thick enough to protect her from what she so desperately needs it to. She’s still here, de-dragging with Brooke whom she’s as hung up over they way she is over Brock.

Rinsing off his face and washing off the remnants of the Branjie gig isn’t cleansing enough for Jose to bring him a sense of peace or closure. How can it, when Brock is shaking out the mess of curls on top of his head and looking at Jose like he’s a piece of meat or something?

Jose really ought to become a vegetarian. It would save him from being hung up over someone that don’t want him back. At least, not like that.

Brock puts his hands on either side of the counter where Jose is sitting, effectively boxing him in while he’s facing the mirror. It fills Jose’s nose with a mix of Brock’s shampoo from the morning, aftershave, and a spritz or two of perfume that he sprays on when he’s Brooke. A concoction that never fails to twist Jose’s heart in excitement and longing alike.

How is it possible to long for someone who’s standing right in front of you? Jose doesn’t know. What he does know is that it’s not good for him, aging him too fast and soon he’s gonna look older than his mother, though it ain’t that much of a challenge ‘cause no one believes she’s his mom, anyway. Brock feels like sand that’s slipping through his fingers, an emptying hourglass that’ll never fill itself up again. Brock and him are gonna separate as they always do and Jose’s gonna be left empty and turned upside down on his head with nothing to fill his heart back up.

He’s tried. Tried to fit other guys into the hole that Brock’s left in his chest, but they never fit, never feel right. Brock’s ruined all other trade for him, which in Jose’s rulebook should be considered a capital offense. It doesn’t matter how much they look like Ryan Gosling or how sweet they treat him, taking care of him the way he deserves but doesn’t want from people who ain’t Brock.

Brock buries his face into Jose’s neck, and Jose can feel the scrunch of his eyes shut against his skin. Brock does this sometimes, holding him extra tight or closer than usual and Jose doesn’t want to complain, ‘cause really, he wishes he’d be important enough to Brock for him to never let go.

Jose lets Brock grab his shoulders, turn him around so his back is to the mirror and his legs dangle off the counter. He melts into the kiss that Brock presses to his lips ‘cause Brock always makes him feel so warm from the inside out. He lets Brock push him onto the bed, eagerly pulls Brock closer. If he’s only gonna get Brock occasionally, when they’re in the same cities and maybe a little bit tipsy and their inhibitions and common senses are down for the count, he may as well enjoy it, right?

It’s gonna hurt later. When he has to leave Brock’s hotel suite in the morning for his own and go back to pretending that he’s fine, that their arrangement is fine and that he’s not a second away from breaking down over it again, like he always tends to do when he’s had one too many tequila shots and listened to too many sad songs and the only word that his brain can think is Brock Brock Brock.

But that ain’t now. Right now Jose has Brock on top of him, pressing kisses everywhere like he’s the most precious thing in the world, and it’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter that Brock won’t keep believing it after they both come.

It’s not ‘til it’s four a.m. and neither of them are sleeping that Jose says something. He’s resting his head on top of Brock’s chest, and can feel Brock trace patterns along his shoulder blades, the base of his spine, the curve of his ribs.

“We could go back to this. All the time. It wouldn’t be hard to do.”

Brock’s fingers stop moving. Jose can feel the way that Brock stiffens underneath him, the way that his heartbeat quickens.

“We can’t.”

It’s a conversation that they’ve had before. Too many times before.

“We could. Me and you. Not for the fans or for anyone else or nothing. Just us. I know you miss it, Toes.” As if the nickname is going to make Brock bend. It nearly does, ‘cause Jose catches Brock’s fingers twitching.

“You know what will happen if we do.” Brock’s voice is tired and worn and Jose almost hates that he’s the one who’s caused it. Almost. ‘Cause Brock’s gone and fucked him up, too.

The two of them cancel each other out. Yin and yang, molten and ice.

“What? What’s gonna happen?” Jose makes Brock say it every time. He’s not gonna stop asking, as if Brock’s logic will suddenly not be as airtight anymore.

Jose wants them to work so badly. He wants it, his heart wants it, hell, his entire body wants it and never wants to let Brock go whenever they’re like this, all intertwined as if they’re just two regular people that are together.

And yet, they always have to drift apart. Brock takes a piece of him each time he goes, and Jose knows he does ‘cause what else could explain the hole in his chest that seems to grow every time that he walks away?

“We’re always flying to different places, we’re never in the same time zones anymore. Our schedules are ridiculous right now. Adding that extra pressure would make things worse, you know that.” Brock’s voice is quiet, and Jose almost doesn’t hear it over the hum of the ceiling fan, the sounds of driving cars outside of the hotel window.

“We’d make it work, if we wanted.” Jose wants to. He really, really, wants to. More than anything he’s wanted his whole life.

“We already tried.” Brock sounds defeated. “You know what happened with that.”

Jose getting jealous of every hoe that Brock talked to, hugged, interacted with. Brock pulling away from him, as far as he could to give himself some space, as if being around literally anyone else was a better option.

Jose had felt like he was chasing a ghost, whispers of Brock because he was never truly there, not in the way that Jose needed. Jose gets it. He’s a lot, he’s a handful. But he wants the best, goes after the best, because he deserves it.

Brock’s the best, in his eyes. So soft and sweet and shady and Jose fits in the crook of his arm like he belongs there, even though he knows that he can’t stay there forever.

Jose wishes he could, though. That getting back together wouldn’t immediately mean destruction for the both of them.

“Doesn’t mean you should go, though.” Brock wraps an arm around his waist, pulls him closer. Jose wants to lift his face up and scream at him for being so flippy floppy but he also wants to scream at himself, ‘cause of course he’s not going to leave, not when his heart never wants to leave Brock in the first place.

“Stay.” Brock’s voice is all soft in his ear and Jose’s resolve is already on the ground when Brock’s hands start to trail up his sides.

He’s too weak for it.

“Can’t go. I know you’d cry yourself to sleep if I did.” Jose grins up at Brock, trying not to think about the fact that Brock probably wouldn’t even care. Would he?

Jose hates it. As sweet as he’s being right now, he knows Brock’s gonna be ignoring him by next week. Not responding to his calls, his texts, unless he wants something ‘cause they always play by Brock’s rules and it’s giving Jose whiplash.

Brock’s all warm right now, and being in his arms is making Jose feel like he never frosted over in the first place. As if this were a year ago, and they were newly together and everything was fresh and exciting and new and not marred by scars that both of them carved with dull knives into their intertwined hearts. If he closes his eyes, they could be back there. All new and tentative and exciting.

But they’re not. They’ll never go back to that. Brock’s made it clear.

It’s fine. Jose’s fine with it.

He is.

Jose still has a piece of Brock, anyway, even though nights like these cause burns upon his skin in the aftermath. Like he’s never gonna heal from the effect that Brock has on him. Like it doesn’t even matter, ‘cause he doesn’t want to.

Brock’s always gonna tug on his belt loops, pull him into an empty rooms, hallways, each others’ hotel rooms. ‘Cause this is what they do now.

It’s better.

Jose has to accept it, go with it, even though it burns.

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #canon compliant #post branjie show #holtzmanns #what doesn't kill me makes me want you more #tour fic

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dfroza · 4 years ago

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some people will close their hearts to the message of grace

but not all.

some will welcome it in with humility of heart & mind.

what will you do with the message of rebirth that is held in the Scriptures?

Today’s reading in the book of Mark:

Jesus went back into His own hometown where He had grown up, and His disciples followed Him there. When the Sabbath came, He went into the synagogue in Nazareth and began to teach as He had done elsewhere, and many of those who heard Him were astonished.

Those in the Synagogue: Where did He gain this wisdom? And what are all these stories we’ve been hearing about the signs and healings He’s performed? Where did He get that kind of power? Isn’t this Jesus, the little boy we used to see in Joseph’s carpenter shop? Didn’t He grow up to be a carpenter just like His father? Isn’t He the son of Mary over there and the brother of James, Joses, Judas, Simon, and their sisters? Who does He think He is?

And when they had thought about it that way, they became indignant and closed themselves to His message.

Jesus (seeing this): A prophet can find honor anywhere except in his hometown, among his own people, and in his own household.

He could not do any of His great works among them except with a few of the sick, whom He healed by laying His hands upon them. He was amazed by the stubbornness of their unbelief.

Jesus went out among the villages teaching, and He called the twelve to Him and began to send them out in pairs. He gave them authority over unclean spirits and instructed them to take nothing with them but a staff: no money, no bread, no bag, nothing but the sandals on their feet and the coat on their back.

Jesus: When you go into a house, stay there until it is time for you to leave that town. And if someone will not accept you and your message, when you leave, shake off the dust of that place from your feet as a judgment against it. [On the day of judgment, that city will wish for the punishment of Sodom and Gomorrah.]

And so His disciples went out into the countryside, preaching the changed life as Jesus had taught them, casting out unclean spirits and anointing the sick with oil to heal them.

Jesus had become so well known that King Herod received reports of all that Jesus was doing. Some were saying that John the Baptist had been raised from the dead and that these mighty works were the fruits of his resurrection.

Others (disagreeing): No, this Jesus is Elijah, returned to work on the earth.

And still others said He was another of the prophets.

Herod (to himself): No, it is John, the prophet I beheaded, risen from the dead.

For the blood of John was on his hands. Herod had imprisoned John in the days before Jesus began His teaching. John had preached to Herod that he should not have married his own brother’s wife, Herodias, for so it is written in the Hebrew Scriptures: “It is not lawful for one to marry his brother’s wife.”

Herodias held a grudge against John and would have had him killed, but she couldn’t. Herod feared John as a holy and righteous man and did what he could to protect him. John taught hard truths, and yet Herod found he usually liked hearing them.

So Herod had put John in prison instead of executing him; and there John sat until Herod’s birthday, when the governor held a great state dinner. That night, Herod’s stepdaughter danced beautifully for the state officials; and the king proclaimed a solemn vow in the presence of his honored guests, military officers, and some of the leading men of Galilee.

Herod: Ask me whatever you wish, and I will grant it. Whatever you want, I will give you—up to half my province.

She went out and consulted with her mother, Herodias, who had only one great desire and told her daughter what she must say.

Herod’s Stepdaughter (immediately, in response to Herod): I want the head of John the Baptist—right now—delivered to me on a platter.

Herod was horrified, but he had sworn an oath and could not break his word in front of his invited guests. So immediately he sent an executioner to the prison to behead John and bring them the head. It was brought to the girl upon a platter, and she took it to her mother.

When John’s disciples were told of this, they came for his body and gave it a proper burial.

Now the twelve returned from their travels and told Him what they had done, whom they had seen, and how they had spread the news of God’s kingdom.

Jesus (to the disciples): Let us go out into the wilderness for a while and rest ourselves.

The crowds gathered as always, and Jesus and the twelve couldn’t eat because so many people came and went. They could get no peace until they boarded a boat and sailed toward a deserted place.

But the people would not be put off so easily. Those along the shore who recognized Jesus followed along the coast. People pushed out of all the cities and gathered ahead of Him so that when Jesus came ashore and saw this crowd of people waiting for Him in a place that should have been relatively deserted, He was moved with compassion. They were like sheep without a shepherd.

He began to teach them many things as the day passed; at last the disciples came to Jesus.

Disciples: It is getting late, and there is nothing around for miles. Send these people to the surrounding villages so they can buy something to eat.

Jesus: Why don’t you give them something to eat?

Disciples (looking at Him): What? It would cost a fortune to buy bread for these people!

Jesus: Does anyone have any bread? Go and see.

Disciples (returning from the crowd): There are five pieces of flatbread and two fish, if that makes any difference.

Jesus: Listen, tell them to gather in smaller groups and sit on that green patch of grass.

And so the disciples gathered the people in groups of 100 or of 50, and they sat down.

Jesus took the five pieces of flatbread and the two fish, looked up to heaven, thanked God for the food, and broke it. He gave the pieces to the disciples to distribute, and all of the people ate until no one was hungry. Then they gathered twelve baskets full of leftovers.

That day, 5,000 men ate their fill of the bread when Jesus fed the hungry crowd.

Not long after, He sent His disciples out onto their boat to sail to Bethsaida on the other shore, and He sent the crowd away. After everyone had gone, He slipped away to pray on a mountain overlooking the sea.

When evening came, the boat was out on the sea and He was alone on the land. He saw that the disciples were making little progress because they were rowing against a stiff wind. Before daylight He came near them, walking on the water, and would have passed by them. Some of them saw Him walking on the surface of the water, thought He was a ghost, and cried out. When they all saw Him, they were terrified.

Jesus (immediately calling out): Don’t be frightened. Do you see? It is I.

He walked across the water to the boat; and as soon as He stepped aboard, the contrary wind ceased its blowing. They were greatly astonished; although they had just witnessed the miracle of Jesus feeding 5,000 with bread and fish, and other signs besides, they didn’t understand what it all meant and their hearts remained hard.

When they finished their journey, they landed the boat in Gennesaret. People at once recognized Jesus as the Healer. Immediately they hurried to collect the sick and infirm—bringing them to Him in beds if they had to—laying them out in the markets of any village, city, or field where He might pass.

Gennesarites: Just let us touch the fringe of Your robe.

Even the people who touched only it were made whole again.

The Book of Mark, Chapter 6 (The Voice)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is chapter 21 in Deuteronomy with further instructions given by Moses under the old covenant that ends with saying it is a curse for a body to hang on a Tree for someone who has been given a death sentence. and this reflects upon the King (as a willing lamb) who would be hung on a cross in Jerusalem to pay the death sentence for all of our sins.

the closing lines of the chapter in The Message:

When a man has committed a capital crime, been given the death sentence, executed and hung from a tree, don’t leave his dead body hanging overnight from the tree. Give him a decent burial that same day so that you don’t desecrate your God-given land—a hanged man is an insult to God.

The Book of Deuteronomy, Chapter 21:22-23 (The Message)

and the whole chapter in The Voice:

Moses: If a murder victim is found lying on the ground in the open field, anywhere in the territory the Eternal your God is giving you to live in, and no one knows who the killer was, then perform a special ceremony to remove the bloodguilt from your land. Send for the priests, the descendants of Levi, the ones the Eternal your God chose to serve Him and to bless His name, because they’re the ones who settle disputes and handle cases of injury like this. Have your elders and judges measure the distance from the body to the nearby cities. The elders of the city that’s closest to the body will have jurisdiction and offer a special sacrifice. Have them take a heifer that has never been put to work pulling a yoke, bring it down by a flowing stream onto land where no crops have ever been planted or grown, and break its neck in that stream. Then in the presence of the priests, have those city elders wash their hands over the heifer’s corpse and take an oath: “Our hands didn’t shed this blood, and our eyes never saw who did. Eternal, please cover the wickedness of Your people Israel, the ones You delivered from slavery. Please don’t consider your people Israel guilty of shedding innocent blood!” If this ceremony is performed, that city will be forgiven for the blood that was shed near it. You will remove the bloodguilt from your nation because you’ve done what the Eternal considers right.

Moses: When you go to battle against your enemies and the Eternal, your True God, enables you to defeat them and take them captive, you may see a beautiful woman among the captives and be attracted to her and want to marry her. Bring her back to your house, and then have her shave her head and cut her nails and exchange her old clothes she was wearing when she was captured for new ones. Let her stay in your house and mourn for her father and mother for a month. Only after that may you, as her husband, have sexual relations with her. She will be your fully legal wife and you her husband. If you are ever displeased with her and divorce her, you must give her freedom and send her anywhere she wants to go. You’re not allowed to sell her into slavery, and you can’t turn her into your own slave because you humiliated her.

Suppose a man has two wives, and he favors one over the other, loving one and not loving the other. If they’ve both borne him sons, but the firstborn doesn’t belong to his favorite wife, he can’t designate the eldest son of his favorite wife as the firstborn instead. When he divides his property and gives his sons their inheritances, he must recognize his true firstborn, the eldest son of the other wife, and give him a double portion of all his property as is customary for all men. That son was the first one created by the man’s generative power, so the rights of the firstborn belong to him.

If anyone has a stubborn and rebellious son who refuses to obey his father and mother, who won’t even listen to them when they discipline him, his parents may bring him to the city gate and formally accuse him in court, telling the city elders what wicked things he has done. For example, “This is our son. He’s stubborn and rebellious! He won’t obey us. He’s a glutton and a drunk!” Then all the people of the city will stone him to death. You must expel the wicked from your own community. Everyone else in Israel will hear about it and fear the consequences of such rebellion.

If someone does something so wicked that it’s punishable by death, and if you execute that person and then hang the body on a pole, don’t leave the body up there overnight. Bury it that same day because everyone who hangs is cursed by God. Otherwise you will defile the ground the Eternal your God is giving you to live on.

The Book of Deuteronomy, Chapter 21 (The Voice)

my personal reading of the Scriptures for Sunday, july 19 of 2020 with a paired chapter from each Testament along with Today’s Psalms and Proverbs

Today’s email by the ICR:

July 19, 2020

The Prince of Glory

“Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high.” (Hebrews 1:3)

One of the most precious hymns of the Christian faith is “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross,” written by Isaac Watts. Let us use its rich rehearsal of truth in poetry to guide our Bible study these next four days.

When I survey the wondrous cross

On which the Prince of glory died,

My richest gain I count but loss,

And pour contempt on all my pride.

The great King of all creation laid aside aspects of His immortal attributes and became a mortal man so He could die for us. Simultaneously man and God, He endured death for condemned sinners, then He re-entered His lifeless body. The hymn writer called Him the “Prince of glory,” a fitting affirmation on the eternal Son of the Father.

Having once again retaken His created life, the Creator offered us eternal life—a free gift to undeserving sinners. Having paid the sufficient price for all our sin, thereby removing all penalties levied against sinful man, He offered us eternal life also. “God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Galatians 6:14).

Nothing we do in this life gains us eternity; works are worthless. “I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ” (Philippians 3:8). Working for rewards can avail nothing, but rather we look to the cross of our wondrous Christ. JDM

youtube

the closing track #14 on the album Journey into the Morn (1996) by the UK band Iona

“when i survey”

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passnmove · 7 years ago

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Is VAR a solution or a problem?

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.”

American writer William Arthur Ward there with a quote that, for me, perfectly encapsulates the fear of change in society. Unfortunately he died in 1994, so now we have to settle for the likes of Matthew Upson and Lee Dixon.

One of the biggest criticisms to the concept of introducing video assistant referees (VAR) in football was that it would eliminate the talking points brought about by good old fashioned poor decision making. Perhaps if you need controversial decisions in football so that you ‘have something to talk about down the pub’, really you just need more interesting friends.

However, if the trial of VAR at the Confederations Cup provided anything, it was to give those people lashings of that which they hold so dear to their hearts.

Those of us who welcome progress were delighted to see the introduction of the new VAR system at the two-week long Community Shield that is the Confederations Cup. Gone would be the days of failing to see blatant offsides, dodgy penalty decisions and players being allowed to elbow one another in the jaw and only get a booking… ah.

The general idea that on-field referees need video assistance to make the big calls they just aren’t certain about is an exciting one. It is perfectly understandable that officials get big calls wrong from time to time, but it is not acceptable that the game, until now, has refused to help them with the technology available.

The notion that those mistakes ‘add to the flavour of the game’ is no more valid in football than it is in tennis, rugby or cricket, and there is no denying those sports have advanced positively from the introduction of video assistance.

For those unsure (referees included), the VAR system has been set up like so. Referees can decide whether they want help from VAR, while other officials, including the video ones, can also suggest that he uses the technology if they think he’s missed something critical. If he decides to do so, he can trust the VAR's decision or can go and view the footage himself on a screen at the side of the pitch.

As ever with football, the problem is not the concept, it is the execution.

The ITV commentators and pundits were practically giddy in their criticism of the VAR system last night after referee Milorad Mazic utilised it, taking two minutes to discuss with the officials in the video room, then going over to the side of the pitch to view the incident himself, and somehow determining that Gonzalo Jara’s physical assault of Timo Werner was worthy of only a yellow card.

I was as bemused as anyone and – like Werner – my jaw hit the floor. It was to some surprise though that the commentators, and later the pundits, and thereafter a large amount of people on Twitter suggested that it showed a fault in the VAR system, rather than just a dopey referee.

It was of course not the first controversial usage of VAR in the tournament, but as with Mazic’s bizarre behaviour, it didn’t seem that any of those incidents were actually the fault of the VAR, rather just bad refereeing from the on-field official.

When Mexico played New Zealand in the group stage there was a significant delay late in the game after a melee between the players. Despite more examples of raised hands than Glastonbury, the referee decided to hand out a booking to one player, then stopped the game again and handed out two more. Whether that was down to him or the officials in his ear, it was all round bad management of the game. In that instance you have to trust what the video referees are telling you or just decide it’s not worth investigating. To take that long to come to a decision, and then still decide to restart and stop the game again to make two more bookings is simply poor officiating and incompetent use of the technology you’ve been given.

Then there was the case of mistaken identity in the Germany Cameroon game. The referee watched a replay, determined it was a red and sent off the wrong player. The video didn’t change the number on the player’s back. That was just another example of an official not paying attention, whether it was one in the video room or the on-field referee.

People have also pointed to the incident in the semi-final between Chile and Portugal when Jose Fonte appeared to foul Francisco Silva in the box. The referee did not award a penalty or ask to see the incident again. How that can be blamed on VAR is beyond me. That is a referee refusing to use the technology, so the same decision would have been made even if it wasn’t available.

This is where the ‘talking point’ criticism of VAR falls down. While it is there to help the referee, he can still choose not to use it and to ignore those in the VAR room. It will continue to create talking points, just hopefully lessen the monumental errors that currently occur.

The thing that tickled me most about the non-red card in the final was Upson, for some reason, deciding that Mazic would have sent Jara off if he hadn’t had use of the technology, despite the fact that he actually gave a throw in and nothing more initially, then only went to the VAR when alerted by other officials. Had it not been for the technology, Jara would have got away scot-free. That he was then only punished by a free-kick and a yellow card is presumably just because Mazic understands the rules of the game to be that deliberately elbowing someone in the jaw is the same as lifting your shirt in celebration of a goal.

According to FIFA’s head referee, Massimo Busacca, in the 12 games of the group stages, six "game-changing decisions" were made using VAR, with another 29 "major incidents". That is far too many. As correctly pointed out by the likes of Luis Garcia and Danny Higginbotham, the only time VAR should be used is in game-changing decisions. When that has occurred, there have been some very beneficial outcomes.

Pepe scored for Portugal in their opening game with Mexico and the goal would normally have stood, but the referee ruled it out correctly for offside after consulting with VAR.

Eduardo Vargas of Chile also had a goal correctly ruled out for offside against Cameroon. He later scored a goal in the same game, which again went to the VAR system, and was correctly allowed. These incidents cannot be simply whitewashed over just because there were other instances where the technology was used badly. Again, that’s human error.

FIFA President Gianni Infantino rather optimistically stated on the eve of the Confederations Cup Final “Nothing is standing in the way of using VARs [at the World Cup], as far as I’m concerned. So far it has been successful. We are learning, we are improving, we are continuing the tests.“ ITV mocked those claims as they asserted the VAR system as ‘a shambles’.

In fact if anyone can sort out a GIF of Infantino hitting an ITV-headed man with a clothesline at WrestleMania that’d be smashing.

It is the use of the technology and the execution of the system that needs improving, rather than the system itself. Blaming the concept of the VAR for the errors of on-field referees is like slamming your car into a wall and blaming your sat-nav. Just because the technology is there, doesn’t mean you are allowed to abandon common sense altogether, as popular an option as that seems to be these days.

Most people appreciate how difficult it is to referee a game of football, especially a high profile one. It also isn’t easy embracing new rules and regulations, and as I understand it, officials at the Confederations Cup were given very little training in how to use VAR before the competition. That needs to be improved in future, as does the explanation to fans as to how it works. There’s been too much confusion as to who has what say, which leads to people justifying their fear of change and demanding we go backwards to a time we all understood, however bad it may have been.

It is also important that in future we are able to hear what the officials are saying to each other. It happens in other sports and is invaluable in at least clearing up the mysteries of decisions like last night. Who decided it was only a yellow, what justification did they use and why? It also eliminates the 2-3 minutes of commentators complaining that they have to fill the silence, as if that isn’t the whole point of them anyway.

On a sidenote, how much does Clive Tyldesley hate football? His introduction of the second half of last night’s game was practically begging people to do and watch anything else, making the Confederations Cup Final sound as enticing as a ‘politician special’ episode of Love Island. Can’t wait for next year’s World Cup when he tells us that we’re wasting our lives and the end is nigh as we watch Burkina Faso draw 1-1 with Paraguay.

Referees get criticised far too often and far too readily, and the whole point of VAR is to give them the help they need. This kind of assistance should only go to reduce the criticism that comes their way, not increase it, but if you’re given a tool like this and still go on to make terrible decisions as Mazic did, you’re really not helping yourself. If we’re sky-diving and I hand you a parachute, then you choose to open it 3 metres from the ground, it’s mostly your fault that you now look like the villain from Who Framed Roger Rabbit after the steamroller’s had a go at him.

The almighty mess-ups with VAR at the Confederations Cup and the widespread scepticism it has created should probably ensure that FIFA pull it from their plans at the Russia 2018 World Cup. It has become a sideshow already and the likes of ITV will bore us to death (more so than usual) with their constant nit-picking at it next summer, so until the furore has blown over and FIFA have ironed out the many kinks in the system as it is, I would be inclined to put it away for the time being.

However, one thing Infantino is right about is that VAR is inevitable, and it should be, but as with everything in life, it can only work if it is backed up by human competence. Like many things these days, it would be a shame if we fail to progress because of a lack of trust in the competence of people to simply not make stupid decisions.

VAR means Brexit Breakfast VAR!

#Football #Soccer #VAR #Infantino #FIFA #confederations cup

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thrashermaxey · 6 years ago

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Ramblings: Updates on Karlsson, Schultz, Zajac; Lineup Shuffling; Trade Bait – February 5

We had a big shake-up in Buffalo as Jeff Skinner was moved down to the second line to play with Casey Mittelstadt and Jason Pominville. The top line now looks like Sheary-Eichel-Okposo. How long will this last? No telling, but the panic button has been smashed.

Mittelstadt is now also on the top PP unit with Rasmus Ristolainen being booted to the second unit.

They also called up C.J. Smith, a 24-year old collegiate signing with 85 points in 98 AHL games. You can read his Dobber profile here.

Speaking of shake-ups, John Tortorella has bumped Artemi Panarin down to the second line with Nick Foligno on the top line with Cam Atkinson and Pierre-Luc Dubois. I assume the idea is to spread out the scoring but this could hurt Panarin’s trade value should they decide to go this route.

Erik Karlsson was back in practice with the Sharks, though his time on the ice was brief. The team starts a four-game road trip on Tuesday in Winnipeg but the fact he’s with the team indicates he should return before the road trip wraps up next Monday night.

As far as the line changes for both Buffalo and Columbus go, I wouldn’t expect either to last very long. Call it a hunch. Like with Colorado now going back to their old top line after just one game.

Still no Evgeni Malkin at practice for the Penguins.

In more optimistic Penguins news, Justin Schultz was in a regular jersey at practice for Pittsburgh on Monday. He’s steadily making his way back, but fantasy owners will need patience as he might need some time to get up to speed. Though he was practicing on the second PP unit so maybe his return will be quicker than I anticipated.

Travis Zajac did not practice with the Devils after missing the team’s weekend game, and Marcus Johansson left said practice after talking to the trainers. Tough times for New Jersey right now.

Sven Baertschi was out of the lineup on Monday night with an illness. Tim Schaller took his spot on Bo Horvat’s line. It’s not expected that Baertschi should miss much time.

Pheonix Copley signed a three-year deal with the Washington Capitals, carrying an average annual value of $1.1-million. He’s going to look good in a Seattle uniform in a couple years.

It appeared Alex Edler hit his face on the ice during the third period of Monday night’s game after getting tangled up in front of his net with Flyers forward Jakub Voracek. There was a lot of blood on the ice and he stayed down for a while, with the stretcher being summoned. He left on the stretcher but was sitting upright and apparently coherent. Let’s hope there is no long-term injury out of this.

Jakub Voracek and Sean Couturier each scored a goal in the 2-1 win with Carter Hart stopping 41 of 42 shots. That makes back-to-back 40-plus save wins for Hart, his seventh consecutive victory. This kid might have a future!

John Gibson was pulled in Toronto’s 6-1 win over Anaheim. This was the subsequent performance after their thrashing via the Jets. He didn’t seem very happy about the circumstances, either.

Andreas Johnsson had two goals and two assists from the fourth line while William Nylander had one of each. That makes six points in his last five games for young Nylander. Is he starting to finally heat up? Also, put Johnsson on that third line please.

The story was Jake Muzzin, though, with a goal and two assists in just his third game from the Leafs. He also had an awesome sequence where he crunched Corey Perry, drew a penalty, and scored on the subsequent power play. I think Leafs fans are going to like him.

Jeff Carter left Los Angeles’s game in the second period with a lower-body injury (per the broadcast) and he did not return. We will post an update when there is one.

Adrian Kempe had a three-point night as the Kings beat the Rangers 4-3 in overtime with Tyler Toffoli marking the overtime winner. It’ll be interesting to see if Toffoli lands in a new locale within the next month.

With the Super Bowl behind us (hopefully the hangover wasn’t too bad on Monday morning), the race to the NHL playoffs is on, especially in the Western Conference where there are five teams within Vancouver’s 54 points for the final playoff spot (as of Monday afternoon). It means we’re also just a few weeks away from the trade deadline, a very important time of the year for fantasy owners. Sometimes your player gets traded to a new team and does almost nothing (think of Rick Nash or Tomas Tatar last year), and sometimes it changes their season’s fortunes (think of J.T. Miller or Evander Kane).

I wanted to look at TSN’s trade bait board and go through a few players that are hopefully going to land more on the Miller/Kane side of things than the Nash/Tatar side.

Wayne Simmonds

It seems all but certain that Simmonds is gone, given his age, pending UFA status, and the team’s unlikelihood of reaching playoffs.

The 2017-18 season was a poor one for Simmonds, though he had a plethora of injuries that started from the very beginning of the year right through to the end. The hope was that he’d be healthy and back to his usual production in 2018-19, but that hasn’t been the case as his goals per game this year (0.31) is actually lower than it was last season (0.32). We know that he’s in the decline phase of his career and as a power forward, could age even worse (think of guys like Ryan Kesler, Corey Perry, or Milan Lucic). The problem isn’t actually his five-on-five scoring – his 0.8 goals/60 minutes is a three-year high – but rather it’s the power play, where his shooting percentage (14.29 percent) has been cut nearly in half compared to 2016-17 (27.45 percent). This won’t come as a shock to most, but his conversion rate has been cut nearly in half despite his role not changing too much. Here are his shot locations at five-on-four in 2016-17 (from Hockey Viz):

And here are his shot locations at five-on-four this year:

It should be noted that his PP shot rate this year is consistent with his normal output, so his PP goal total (or lack thereof) is largely a function of shooting percentage and not shot volume.

Simmonds has never been known as a play driver, he’s always been known as a specialist; a power forward who can be a monster with the man advantage. I have to think that he can regain something resembling his form in another locale. The question is which playoff (or Cup) contender needs depth on the right wing in the form of a PP specialist? Two teams come to mind in San Jose and Montreal.

The Sharks are loaded on the left side. They have Evander Kane and Timo Meier (who can play both sides but has been on the left lately while lining up with Joe Pavelski), as well as Tomas Hertl when they don’t have him lined up as a centre (which has been often this year). The right side is a little more barren with only Pavelski to speak of. Joonas Donskoi is a fine play driver but I’m still unsure of his scoring upside. Simmonds would give them a guy to play in their middle-six as well as clean up the garbage around the net on the power play given Brent Burns’s shooting proclivity.

As for Montreal, they have the same issue as after Brendan Gallagher, things get a little thin on the right side. Right now, they have Paul Byron (who is injured), Joel Armia (who should be on the fourth line), and Nicolas Deslauriers (???). They also have one of the worst power plays in the NHL. The Habs are a very good five-on-five team and Carey Price is looking more like the old Carey Price over the last couple of months. If Price can maintain this level of play (which is a big IF), the power play is the glaring weak spot, and Simmonds can help. I wasn’t expecting the Habs to be this good this year but they are a top-5 team in the East and Simmonds shouldn’t be too expensive to acquire. In other words, they won’t have to mortgage their future to get some help this year.

Gustav Nyquist

It’s been quite the fascinating season for Nyquist. There were absolutely no expectations for him this year in Detroit, coming off three straight seasons producing under 50 points and never more than 21 goals. He’s currently on a 70-point pace, though, and has been dynamic on the top line with Dylan Larkin. With Larkin injured now, though, there isn’t much at centre for Nyquist to play with besides (perhaps) Andreas Athanasiou.

Teams looking for Nyquist wouldn’t necessarily be looking for a goal scorer, they’d be looking for someone to facilitate other goal scorers. A guy who can get out of his zone, and into the offensive zone, with possession of the puck to look for trailers, seam passes, or to start the cycle. Who fits that bill? Two teams from the Central.

It’s no big secret that Nashville needs more secondary scoring. Kevin Fiala hasn’t taken the next step as expected, especially in the goals department, Kyle Turris has been injured, Craig Smith hasn’t scored in a month, and so on. Being able to put Nyquist on the second line with Fiala and Turris (when he’s healthy, which may be very soon) could help them both going as playoffs start to roll around.

Winnipeg has really struggled since the Nikolaj Ehlers injury and Patrik Laine has been mired in a brutal slump. Adding a rental like Nyquist would allow for one of Ehlers or Kyle Connor to slide to the third line and play with Mathieu Perreault, it would give Laine a legitimate playmaker at five-on-five and provide insurance in case of another injury like the one Ehlers suffered.

Brayden Schenn

One name that really stuck out to me is Brayden Schenn. He was acquired before the 2017-18 campaign and had a very good year with 28 goals and 70 points. His 2018-19 season hasn’t been a good one, but the same could be said for most of the Blues. But this team has really turned around its fortunes over the last month or so and Schenn has six points in his last four games.

Seeing as Schenn has another year left, a trade would have to come from a team that expects to contend both this year and next, and may need some insurance in case of free agents. One of these teams is San Jose (Pavelski is a pending UFA). Two others seem obvious: Dallas and Carolina.

It’s no secret that Dallas, like Nashville, needs more depth scoring (though the former is in a much worse position depth-wise than the latter). What Dallas also needs is players to take advantage of whatever remains of Tyler Seguin’s and Jamie Benn’s peak years. Next season will be Benn’s age-30 campaign, so the clock is ticking. I assume, however, that the Blues wouldn’t trade a player of Schenn’s calibre to a division opponent.

We’re left with Carolina. At time of writing, they’re tied for the final playoff spot in the East and the addition of Nino Niederreiter has provided the team with a much-needed boost. The long-awaited shooting regression has begun, and the team is winning while playing excellent hockey. They also have Jordan Staal hopefully recovering from his concussion. Schenn would give the team another scoring boost, and give them some added depth for next year. It also gives them some cover in case Martin Necas isn’t ready for a regular centre role in 2019-20.

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-updates-on-karlsson-schultz-zajac-lineup-shuffling-trade-bait-february-5/

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wheelhousehockey-blog1 · 6 years ago

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Hockey Promotions Mid-Season Power Rankings

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Check out this mid season power rankings by one of our fans!

1. Tampa Bay Lightning (Preseason ranking: 2) The Lightning are on pace for an astounding 130 points in the regular season, which would be the third-best mark of all time. They’re loaded up and down the board and boast the league’s top power play. We expected them to be good, but probably not this good. It really is hard to find a legitimate weakness with this group. Until the real test starts in the spring, it’s unlikely they’ll be bounced from this spot. 2. Pittsburgh Penguins (Preseason Ranking: 5) The Penguins looked nothing like the cup contender they were labelled as for the first two months of the season, and then flipped the proverbial switch, going 15-4-1 since the start of December. Kris Letang is quietly putting together a Norris-Caliber season, Sidney Crosby is back to his old self, and the depth is pulling some weight finally. The scariest thing could be that they’ve made these drastic improvements without Justin Schultz and with Evgeni Malkin mired in a slump of poor play. Cutting down opponents’ shorthanded opportunities will be a priority going forward; they’re on pace to give up 18 this year. 3. Washington Capitals (Preseason Ranking: 1) What Stanley Cup hangover? The Caps have picked up right where they left off last season and look hungry to repeat. There isn’t much to say about this team that we don’t already know. The league-worst faceoff percentage is a little concerning, but they make up for it in the other facets of their game; if it’s a huge issue, their play doesn’t show it. Todd MacLellan will be looking for this year’s Michael Kempny at the deadline. 4. Toronto Maple Leafs (Preseason ranking: 6) Toronto is just as good as everyone expected. JT and the kids are scoring at a torrid pace, Morgan Reilly is making himself known as a true no. 1 defenseman (if he wasn’t already) and Freddy Andersen has been playing at his usual high level. The perceived problems on the blue-line haven’t materialized and the Leafs are getting solid contributions from their depth forwards, as well. Everything’s in place for them to take the next step forward. Oh, and we’ve gone more than a month now without hearing about William Nylander! 5. Winnipeg Jets (Preseason Ranking: 3) The Jets sit here despite a couple of concerns. Connor Hellebuyck has been more pedestrian this year after being the Vezina runner-up, but he hasn’t played poorly enough to sink the Jets. Patrik Laine’s inconsistency is a little alarming, but a goal is a goal and he’s got 24. It also helps having two of the league’s top-10 scorers to go with Laine. And a top-5 power play. Yeah, they’ll be just fine. 6. Nashville Predators (Preseason Ranking: 4) I really struggled picking between Nashville and Winnipeg, but two things made it a little easier: special teams and discipline. Nashville’s power play only connects at a 15.1% clip, 26th in the league, and they’re penalized at the second-highest rate in the league. The good news is they still have half of the season to address those warts either internally or with a trade, and their defense-first style helps negate a lot of the bad stuff. Could Nashville-Winnipeg be the new Pittsburgh-Washington type playoff matchup that we look forward to every year? 7. Boston Bruins (Preseason ranking: 7) This just about does it for the “well what did you expect?” section of the rankings. Through a rash of injuries and some inconsistent play, the Bruins are still positioned to challenge for home-ice in the first round of the playoffs. Their “big line” of Bergeron, Pastrnak, and Marchand is finally reunited and back to wreaking havoc on opponents. I don’t see the Bruins as being as good of a team as those above (the top-6 is really a toss-up outside of Tampa), but they’re close. 8. Columbus Blue Jackets (Preseason Ranking: 9) Panarin and Bobrovsky’s contract situations be damned, the Jackets look good. They seem to be in that purgatory of “always good enough to make the playoffs, but after that who knows?” Regardless of what transpires with their Russian stars, they look poised to make this an all-in season and make the answer to the “who knows” part of my question better than “eliminated in the first round”. A lot is riding on this year for Columbus, and they’re playing like it. 9. San Jose Sharks (Preseason Ranking: 13) Just another season in sunny San Jose. The old guard is playing well. The young guys are stepping up. Erik Karlsson has found his stride (even if the puck isn’t going in for him). The Sharks might be the ultimate “call me when the playoffs start” team, and this year doesn’t look very different. The most curious aspect of this team may now be how things work out with a Karlsson extension, until April at least. 10. Calgary Flames (Preseason ranking: 24) Some of these bits will have moments of silence built in for you to make fun of my preseason rankings, and this is the first. Good? Alright. Much like Winnipeg and Nashville, my ranking between Calgary and San Jose hinged on a couple factors, this time goaltending and, again, discipline. I expected Bill Peters approach to make the Flames more disciplined, and it has in some ways, but they take by far the most penalties in the league which doesn’t help anybody. Their goaltending duo of David Rittich and Mike Smith doesn’t inspire much hope, but they’ve been solid, albeit inconsistent. An upgrade in net and staying out of the box could work wonders for a team that has probably already exceeded expectations. 11. Vegas Golden Knights (Preseason Ranking: 11) In a shocking turn of events, the Knights are what everyone expected them to be. They’re doing it without the fanfare from a year ago, but they’ve played solid hockey and have kept themselves in a good spot in an open Pacific division. Marc-Andre Fleury is putting together another great season and the forward group is getting it done with the “by committee” approach. It got them within a series of the Cup a year ago; it wasn’t broke so they didn’t fix it. 12. Buffalo Sabres (Preseason Ranking: 22) I think it’s fair to omit the moment of silence on this one. Most people expected the Sabres to be better, but not this much better. The youth movement is in full swing, being led by Jack Eichel and Casey Middlestadt. Jeff Skinner has found another gear, and Jason Botterill’s depth acquisitions are proving to be valuable. They’ve hit a skid over their last 10 or so games, but the early season boon has the Sabres positioned to make a run at a wild-card playoff spot, maybe even better. Does this finally mark the end of the rebuild? 13. Dallas Stars (Preseason Ranking: 21) Stars’ president Jim Lites’ expletive-laden tirade about his best players was perhaps the most entertaining thing to happen to the Stars this year, but it did have some truth to it: they are heavily reliant on their, ahem, stars. This team will go as far as they can carry it, and lately they’ve picked it up, helping Dallas to win 6 of their last 10 and breathe new life into their playoff push. Getting healthy will help them, but as the deadline gets closer, an addition to the forward group could prove essential, even if Lites’ press release for that isn’t as entertaining. 14. Colorado Avalanche (Preseason Ranking: 14) Two weeks ago, the Avs may have been as many as 5-6 spots higher on this list, but a lot can change in that time. A lot has changed, with Colorado losing 8 of their last 10 and their seemingly-unstoppable top line cooling down dramatically. Make no mistake, this is still a good team, but a very top-heavy one that needs its stars to get back to (or start playing to) a very high level if they want to prove that last season – and the first half of this one – weren’t aberrations. 15. Montreal Canadiens (Preseason Ranking: 27) The Habs have been another surprising turnaround this year, and they’ve only gotten better since Shea Weber returned to the lineup. Their young, fast lineup is challenging every opponent they face. Carey Price looks more like Carey Price lately. Jesperi Kotkaniemi looks like the center Marc Bergevin has been waiting for. They don’t look like a serious playoff threat, but they certainly could get there, which would be a win for a team that had such low expectations after last season. *Insert Bergevin cheering gif* 16. Minnesota Wild (Preseason Ranking: 15) In the midst of a roller coaster of a season, the Wild find themselves in a competitive position at the halfway mark. They’re not lighting the scorecard up in any certain area, but they’re a solid team with good options at every level and some enviable depth. That’s been enough for 6 straight playoff appearances, and it could very well be 7 this season. The big question is when will new GM Paul Fenton make a move? And will it be the one that gets them out of the first round? 17. New York Islanders (Preseason Ranking: 28) Barry Trotz is making his presence felt on the Island in a big way: without a stud goaltender or elite defense corps, the Islanders are leading the league in goals against and that has them within striking distance of a wild-card spot. Even with this, they could be sellers at the deadline with a couple attractive pieces on expiring contracts. They probably won’t make much noise the rest of the year, but they’ve done well to calm some of the post-Tavares anxiety. 18. Anaheim Ducks (Preseason Ranking: 18) The bad news: The Ducks are the league’s most injured team, and they’ve lost 10 straight, the most recent being a heartbreaker where they squandered a 3-0 lead. The good news: the West is wide open in terms of Wild-Card spots and the Ducks could still get there. A 10-game skid would sink most teams, but Anaheim has the good fortune of still being in the hunt in spite of it. They have the star power to get out of this; their guys have been here and done this before, as bittersweet as that may sound. 19. Carolina Hurricanes (Preseason Ranking: 26) *Checks document title* No this isn’t the “most shots” power rankings, so the ‘Canes find themselves at 19th. They’ve made some strides in the right direction, but this is still a young team trying to find its way with a new coach, and it shows. At the very least, they look to be responding to Rod Brind’Amour’s message and having fun doing it. With that, the successful incorporation of Andrei Svechnikov into their lineup, and the young talent they have, they’re set up for a bright future, maybe starting in the second half if the puck goes in a little more for them. 20. Vancouver Canucks (Preseason Ranking: 31) Another preseason ranking that was completely wrong, albeit pretty fair. Vancouver’s young players are showing the future is now for this team and that while they’re not going to make any noise this year, they could do so sooner than most expected. Elias Pettersson is electrifying to watch and gives this franchise its cornerstone and poster-boy. In the up-and-comer power rankings, Vancouver gets a much more favorable spot. 21. Edmonton Oilers (Preseason Ranking: 20) After a decent start to the season, and another surge when Ken Hitchcock took over as head coach, the Oilers haven’t been able to gain any positive traction. Pete Chiarelli’s recent dearth of depth trades seemingly equates to rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic: you’re addressing the wrong issues on a sinking ship. Hitchcock looks to have them playing better under his tutelage, but they have yet to turn those efforts into consistent wins. They’re still within striking distance of a playoff spot, but the push has to start now if they don’t want to be on the outside looking in for the third time in four years. 22. Florida Panthers (Preseason Ranking: 17) From a pure talent standpoint, the Panthers may be hockey’s most disappointing team. Their lineup was already playoff-caliber before they added Mike Hoffman. He settled in quickly and the Panthers got off to a hot start, but they’ve played uninspiring hockey since then. They continue to struggle at even-strength and the goaltending has been mediocre. With the playoffs looking more and more like a fantasy with each passing loss, it’s do or die time for the Panthers. They came awfully close in a similar situation last year so it’s not out of the question, but the East is loaded and the top teams continue to separate themselves from the pack. 23. New York Rangers (Preseason Ranking: 25) In the midst of a full-blown rebuild, no one expected much from the Rangers and they’re living up to it. But they’re doing the rebuild thing immaculately, and deserve credit for it. Sticking to your guns isn’t always easy, as evidenced by their spot in the standings, but it should pay dividends if they can make some savvy decisions along the way. This is a bridge year for them, nothing more, and nothing less. 24. Chicago Blackhawks (Preseason Ranking: 19) The ‘Hawks fall from grace continues this season, and if it weren’t for the heroic pre-injury efforts of Corey Crawford, things may be worse. They’ve made tweaks around the edges of the roster and, more notably, to the coaching staff, but nothing has given them the spark they need. With playoff position slipping away, perhaps the most pressing issue for this team is now to pick a direction going forward. Here’s to hoping Crawford can return from his latest concussion in good health and give them something positive for the future. 25. New Jersey Devils (Preseason Ranking: 15) After being one of the league’s pleasant surprises a year ago, the Devils have regressed in a major way. Taylor Hall is no longer playing at an MVP level, but he’s still better than a point-per-game, and Nico Hischier is set to eclipse his point total from last year while improving his two-way play. That’s all well and good, but when you lack any real forward depth – especially at center – and your young players regress, the results suffer. Last year they were a playoff team, this year they’re a basement dweller. Would the real New Jersey Devils please stand up? 26. Philadelphia Flyers (Preseason Ranking: 12) The moment of silence for this one is probably replaced with a mix of boos and expletive-laden chants; it is the Flyers, after all. A new GM and a new coach haven’t been the fixes this team had hoped for, and their promising young players have stagnated or regressed in big ways. Combine all this with the fact that they can’t find solid goaltending – outside of a few good starts from promising youngster Carter Hart – and they’ve floundered their way to 30th in the league. With the talent they have on board, that’s unacceptable. With the playoffs seemingly out of sight, the focus for them should be getting the youngsters ample playing time and getting them back on track. 27. St. Louis Blues (Preseason Ranking: 8) Take your moment of silence. I could write an entire novel on how disappointing the Blues have been and how many things are wrong with them. The most unsettling aspect of this depressing first-half of the season is how they just can’t carry any momentum from game to game. Jake Allen, the defense, and the forwards all seem to be on different pages except for one or two nights when they put it all together, and then lay an egg the next time out. The Blues are so good on paper you’ve probably been waiting for the time it all clicks and they turn it around, but it hasn’t happened and, now past the halfway point, it doesn’t look like it will any time soon. 28. Ottawa Senators (Preseason Ranking: 29) There hasn’t been much to write about the Senators in the “good” column, on or off the ice. They continue to struggle and do so in vain this season, with their first-round pick belonging to Colorado. They play hard every night, but they don’t have the talent or depth to turn the effort into wins consistently. If any good comes from this season, it has to be that Brady Tkachuk looks promising and Tomas Chabot has stepped into Erik Karlsson’s role almost seamlessly. The Duchene/Stone negotiations will have great bearing on how this team moves forward. 29. Arizona Coyotes (Preseason Ranking: 23) The Coyotes again had a great offseason, and again have followed it up disappointingly. I didn’t expect them to compete for the West, but a wild-card berth didn’t seem out of the cards for a team that tore up the league in the second half of last season, made some good additions and found its starting goalie. Perhaps an even more disturbing trend: only 5 of the Coyotes last 12 Coyotes drafted in the first round are still with the team, and only 3 – OEL, Clayton Keller, and Jakob Chychrun – are contributing in the NHL this year. Rick Tocchet looks like the coach this young team needs, but the bad draft trends need to change if the Coyotes want out of the basement. Unfortunately nothing they can do this year helps that cause. 30. Los Angeles Kings (Preseason Ranking: 10) Take your final moment of silence. Part of me can’t believe the Kings are this bad, and then the other part of me reminds that part that the Kings barely made the playoffs on the back of a herculean season from Anze Kopitar, and then their only major change was adding 35-year old Ilya Kovalchuk. So it makes some sense, but probably not to this degree. The Kings are old and slow, and the league’s new emphasis on speed literally has other teams passing by them with ease. A hasty retool seems to be in the cards as they still have some good pieces, but they’re just not built to compete in the new NHL as currently constructed. 31. Detroit Red Wings (Preseason Ranking: 30) The final juncture of these power rankings is perhaps the most predictable. Like the Rangers, the Wings are in the midst of a roster rebuild and their play and record shows it. There isn’t much to say about them; they’re a bad team playing for the future. That future looks bright, with young talent playing at every level of the club. The Wings will look to be the next version of the Avalanche or Maple Leafs, and have the pieces to make it happen. Another could be on his way this summer, depending on how the lottery balls fall.

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racingtoaredlight · 6 years ago

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Cancellation Saturday: Degenerate’ guide to college football tv watch ‘em ups for week 3, 2018 season

We’re slowly creeping our way to actual competitions. I don’t want to pretend that matters much to me in the early season. I like the college football version of preseason.

This list of games is ripped from a site that may or may not have updated their schedule for the hurricane. Guess we’ll all find out together!

Saturday, September 15

Matchup Time (ET) TV/Mobile

Ball State at Indiana 12:00pm BTN

My watching has regressed this season to the point where I couldn’t tell you if there’s even one NFL prospect in this game. Indiana usually has at least one so, uh, keep an eye on that.

Florida State at Syracuse 12:00pm ABC/ESPN/2/U

Last I checked FSU was a somewhat dodgy 3-point favorite. This is not because Syracuse has gotten better.

Hawaii at Army 12:00pm CBSSN

Is the Cole McDonald magic a season-long phenomenon or is it just a fluke offense doing the work for him? Beating Army won’t prove he’s good but losing might prove he’s a fluke.

Kent State at Penn State 12:00pm FS1

I put a Penn State guy in the RTARLsman rankings in the obvious hope that they lose to Kent State.

Miami (FL) at Toledo 12:00pm ABC/ESPN/2/U

The consensus among professional gamblers is that Toledo +10.5 is easy money. The “objective” rankings on SB Nation actually have Toledo ranked higher than Miami. Miami’s offensive line is trying to get Malik Rosier killed and Ahmmon Richards is out with an “injury” sustained while yelling at Rosier in the locker room. Canes by 50.

Murray State at Kentucky 12:00pm SECNA

Kentucky broke their losing steak to Florida so it would be quite fitting if they lose today.

Oklahoma at Iowa State 12:00pm ABC/ESPN/2/U

This would be so much more appealing to me if Rodney Anderson hadn’t torn his ACL. As it stands it’s probably a good matchup that could turn into a dogfight but I don’t plan on watching any of it.

Rhode Island at UConn 12:00pm SNY/ESPN3

UConn’s program is about the same as Kansas’s program.

Rutgers at Kansas 12:00pm FSN

Rutgers may very well be back on the Kansas level, too.

Temple at Maryland 12:00pm BTN

I understand the way the early results have gone but Maryland -16 still sounds crazy to me. Go Owls, in any case.

Troy at Nebraska 12:00pm BTN

Here’s a fun statement that can be more or less objectively quantified to be true: Scott Frost inherited a better roster at UCF than the roster he inherited this year at Nebraska. To wit: this year’s UCF seniors were all there before he signed on to coach them.

Tulane at UAB 12:00pm Facebook

I know I’ve been telling UAB to drop football again but this is kind of a beauty. Damn facebook to hell, though.

UCF at North Carolina 12:00pm ABC/ESPN/2/U

I’m pretty sure this game is at least postponed?

East Carolina at Virginia Tech 12:20pm ACCN

ECU is back to non-cupcake status now. Maybe. They killed UNC last week. Maybe that isn’t proof of anything.

Georgia Tech at Pitt 12:30pm RSN

A game between two teams that should have won last week.

UC Davis at Stanford 2:00pm Pac-12N

On the one hand Stanford should score 100 against UC Davis. On the other hand David Shaw isn’t a big fan of scoring 30 or more points.

Vanderbilt at Notre Dame 2:30pm NBC

A game between rape-apologist program where nobody wins unless Brian Kelly dies.

Ohio at Virginia 3:00pm ACCNExtra

ACCNE extra getting off to a late start today. UVA is a 5.5 point-and-dropping favorite as I write this. I don’t know about the points but the O/U has gone up by 6.5 which seems odd.

Boise State at Oklahoma State 3:30pm ABC/ESPN/2/U

Brett Rypien has escaped his timeshare and is now a contender to go in the 1st round next year. That still seems a little high to me but he does have a ver similar gun to his dad. Who was either undrafted or like a 12th round pick and took about 5 years to develop into an NFL starter.

BYU at Wisconsin 3:30pm ABC/ESPN/2

Hornibrook is going to win the Heisman. I don’t like it much more than you. I’m lying. I fucking love it. All he needs to do is rack up 13 QB wins by the time voting is closed.

Central Michigan at NIU 3:30pm ESPN Plus

I don’t do MACtion but there are a few NFL prospects in this game.

Duke at Baylor 3:30pm FS1

A true conundrum.

Georgia Southern at Clemson 3:30pm ABC/ESPN/2/U

Tune in early if you want to see the guys you’ve heard of.

Lehigh at Navy 3:30pm CBSSN

Navy hasn’t looked great so far this year but this is a trash game so maybe they can work out the kinks here?

LSU at Auburn 3:30pm CBS

Whoever wins this gets to be wildly overrated for the rest of the season.

Miami (Ohio) at Minnesota 3:30pm BTN

Minnesota -13 don’t make no kind of damn sense.

SMU at Michigan 3:30pm BTN

If Harbaugh doesn’t beat the spread I might join the pitchforks.

Southern Miss at Appalachian State 3:30pm ESPN Plus

App State deserves to lose every game for the way they blew a sure victory over Penn State.

USF at Illinois 3:30pm BTN

I feel like Illinois should have good recruiting grounds but they’ve had like 5 decent seasons in my lifetime.

West Virginia at NC State 3:30pm ABC/ESPN/2/U

Pretty sure this is not happening today.

Colorado State at Florida 4:00pm SECN

The McElwain Game! He’s gone and already mostly forgotten, which is a shame because of that one time he humped a shark.

Eastern Kentucky at Bowling Green 4:00pm ESPN3

Not the best use of your time but my whole point is to talk you into watching every single game so watch this and report back. Wait, ESPN3 still exists? I thought it was ESPN+ now. They’re different things?

Houston at Texas Tech 4:00pm FOX

Texas Tech throws early, often, and poorly. If Ed Oliver is going to get an eye catching number of sacks for the year this game is the key.

North Texas at Arkansas 4:00pm SECNA

This is a classic SEC out of conference game.

UTSA at Kansas State 4:00pm FSN

The Bill Snyder magic may in fact be gone. Take UTSA +21.5 in my honest opinion.

Wofford at Wyoming 4:00pm MWN

I actually like Wyoming’s stupid uniforms for what little it’s worth.

New Hampshire at Colorado 5:00pm P12N MTN

This is a pretty bad week overall.

San Jose State at Oregon 5:00pm Pac-12N

I’ve got to tune in to see Justin Herbert but he might get pulled before the end of the 1st quarter.

Bethune-Cookman at Florida Atlantic 6:00pm Stadium

There are people in the world who really believe that Lane Kiffin deserves a high level D-1A job. That’s a pretty bad idea.

Eastern Michigan at Buffalo 6:00pm ESPN Plus

Give Tyree Jackson a shot. I love the velocity he puts on his throws even if his WRs are horrible and drop most of them.

Idaho State at California 6:00pm P12N BAY

Idaho State’s first year back in 1-AA has featured 3 games against 1-A teams to start the series.

Old Dominion at Charlotte 6:00pm ESPN3

This is crap all the way through.

Alabama at University of Mississippi 7:00pm ESPN

Bama’s weakness if they have one is the inexperienced secondary. Mississippi’s strength is 4 top-50 level pass catching prospects. The Tide should roll anyway but I won’t be that surprised if Mississippi makes a game of it.

Alabama A&M at Cincinnati 7:00pm ESPN3

A very evenly matched watch ‘em up.

Arkansas State at Tulsa 7:00pm CBSSN

This is the kind of stupid game that I write these posts for. Of course it’s on CBS Sports.

Campbell at Coastal Carolina 7:00pm ESPN3

What the shit is this crap?

Delaware State at Western Michigan 7:00pm ESPN Plus

And this?

Oregon State at Nevada 7:00pm ESPN3

And this, too, really but there is a little bit of a soft spot in my heart for Nevada as the birthplace of the pistol.

Texas State at South Alabama 7:00pm ESPN Plus

Explosive matchup of two teams that grab 1-star recruits in states where starting for a full season in high school gets you 3 stars.

Middle Tennessee at Georgia 7:15pm ESPN2

MTSU is a relatively good OOC matchup for an SEC team but we’re now in a Georgia age of college football and MTSU is going to be slaughtered.

Akron at Northwestern 7:30pm BTN

MAC is the minor league version of Big XII ball. I can’t believe y’all watch this shit. Oh, right, Northwestern is actually a B1G team. Close enough.

Louisiana at Mississippi State 7:30pm SECNA

If the “State” was on the other side of the vs. this would be a great game. In real life it is not going to be a great game.

Marshall at South Carolina 7:30pm ESPNU

How has Marshall looked this year so far?

Missouri at Purdue 7:30pm BTN

Mizzou at Purdue is fun to say. Drew Lock is pretty good but I have the Missouri offense.

Northern Iowa at Iowa 7:30pm BTN

Do it for the kids UNI!

ULM at Texas A&M 7:30pm SECN

This might get a spot in the rotation. I’m kind of intrigued by aTm under Jimbo Fisher. I don’t think I have any expectations for him.

UMass at FIU 7:30pm�� beIN SPORTS

Come on, Butch, get this Panther ship righted!

WKU at Louisville 7:30pm RSN

Petrino Bowl! This might actually be a pretty good game. Louisville kind of sucks this year.

Eastern Washington at Washington State 8:00pm Pac-12N

There’s something weird about this game but I forget what it is. So keep that in mind.

New Mexico at New Mexico State 8:00pm AggieVision

The winner gets to be New Mexico State for the next 12 months. The loser has to be regular New Mexico.

Ohio State at TCU 8:00pm ABC

I’ve been feeling the Dwayne Haskins hype and it either goes through the roof after this one or Urban Meyer will have to play savior when he comes back next week.

USC at Texas 8:00pm FOX

Great brand name matchup of secretly (or not) bad coaches. USC has a great freshman QB and Texas has really nice uniforms. The rest of this is garbage.

Washington at Utah 10:00pm ESPN

The weird front-loaded schedule rolls on for the Pac-12. This would be an incredible game in November. It’s very odd in September.

Arizona State at San Diego State 10:30pm CBSSN

Herm Edwards is really good, guys! He’s got his team ranked! He’s going to get blown out by SDSU!

Fresno State at UCLA 10:30pm FS1

At least a little bit interesting. I’ve got a good feeling about Chip Kelly at UCLA but he’s got a lot of building to do. I think it’s worth watching him flail around trying to find his way.

Southern Utah at Arizona 11:00pm Pac-12N

When will Kevin Sumlin and Khalil Tate get on the same page? Probably never but they should win this game by 80.

Prairie View A&M at UNLV 10:00pm MWN

I went through and did the formatting and started up from the bottom and now I see the times are really fucked. At least a little. This is an objectively bad game. But I do like UNLV’s QB.

UTEP at Tennessee 12:00pm SECN

Not sure what’s going on here. It’s the last game listed but it says 12pm and it’s in Tennessee. But I can see the reasoning behind scheduling this at midnight to minimize the chances of somebody randomly stumbling upon it and accidentally watching a couple of minutes of it.

#football #college football #macy's #saturday post

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yahoo-boxing-blog · 7 years ago

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Daniel Franco 'was the kind of kid everyone wants for a friend,' distraught father says

Daniel Franco (L), shown in a 2016 bout with Marcello Gallardo, is in a medically induced coma as a result of injuries he suffered Saturday. (Getty Images)

Boxer Daniel “Twitch” Franco lies in a hospital bed in Sioux City, Iowa, largely unresponsive, in a battle for his life.

Franco, who was injured in a bout Saturday with Jose Haro, is in a medically induced coma after undergoing two brain bleeds. Doctors are desperately trying to regulate the pressure on his brain, and so are doing all they can not to stimulate his brain.

They’ve thus asked the family not to speak to him. He’s been placed in a paralyzed state, to limit his movements. His room is dark, eerily quiet. The family is keeping a vigil, and his father, Al Franco, who also doubles as his boxing trainer, so very much wants to wrap his arms around his son and tell him how proud he is of him and how much he loves him.

But he can’t and, like everyone else who has come to know and admire this courageous and charismatic young man, he’s helpless, left to stand around and wait, lost in his thoughts.

“I want people to know how good of a person my son is,” Al Franco said. “He was a happy kid, a good kid, the kind of kid everyone wants for a friend. If you need help, ask him and he’s there for you. He’s a fun guy to be around. He loved people. He loved life. And he loved nothing more than doing things for people.

“We were trying to talk to him and let him know that we’re here for him, and that we’ll be with him throughout this thing for whatever he needs. But we can’t. They’re telling us it’s best not to talk to him, so we don’t even have that.”

Franco was knocked out in the eighth round by Haro, marking his second loss in three fights. He also fought a bout in Mexico in May that he won by first-round knockout.

The loss to Haro dropped his record to 16-2-3. He was 15-0-3 heading into his March 23 fight in Los Angeles against Christopher Martin.

His father, didn’t want him to go through with the bout He was sick and not ready, and Al Franco had concerns that he expressed to several different people.

But truth be told, Al Franco never wanted his son to box. He had a 4.3 GPA in high school, and studied neuropsychology at Chaffee College. He’d recently been accepted to Arizona State.

His father wanted him to study, to forget about boxing.

“I trained him to learn self defense, but in all honesty, that’s all I wanted for him; I never really wanted him to box,” Al Franco said. “He was a smart kid who did very well in school. I remember when he was in seventh grade and they wanted to bump him up to ninth grade [skipping eighth]. I said no, because I felt they needed to let him be a kid.

“I told him to play football, to do something else. But he loved boxing and wanted to try it. When we’re at home, I’m Dad, but in the gym, I’m the boss and I was hard on him. I would have much rather seen him just go to school and forget about boxing.”

But Daniel insisted, probably because he was good at it. He got off to a good start, fought on an Andre Ward undercard in Oakland and seemed to be moving up in the sport.

Daniel Franco was the kind of kid everyone wanted to be friends with, his father said. (Getty Images)

And then came the Christopher Martin fight which Al Franco should never have occurred.

“He was sick and I wanted to pull him out, but I know that the matchmakers don’t like it when you do that,” he said “Somebody told me if I pulled him out, they’d shelved him. So I didn’t do it, but I told a lot of people. I kept hoping someone would say, ‘Oh, then he can’t fight,’ but no one did. I didn’t want to overstep my bounds, because I believe in what they say about fighters fight, promoters promote, managers manage and the trainers should train.”

Franco struggled to make weight for that bout, which his father said is highly unusual. Al Franco served as his son’s nutritionist and cooked all his meals for him. Plus, Daniel loved the outdoors and enjoyed running.

He ran just about every day, his father said, and when he didn’t run, he took long hikes. But because of his illness, he missed three weeks of training camp. He dropped Martin in the first, but didn’t have the zip to jump on him and finish him.

So he backed off and boxed, and paid for it when Martin roared back in the third and knocked him out.

But for the Haro fight, Al Franco said things went sensationally in camp for his son. On fight night, though, something was different.

“I didn’t see that killer look in his eyes, that look of confidence, that I usually would see,” Al Franco said. ” … I don’t know what it was, if he was scared of getting knocked out or afraid to lose, I’m not sure. But I wasn’t seeing what I wanted to see from him.”

So now, all the family can do is wait. It’s a horrific feeling, and isn’t easy on any of them. They’ll face massive medical bills and have no idea how this will play out.

The anguish in his voice is evident. He’s been there for his son throughout his life, and now is only a bystander in Daniel’s hour of need.

“All we can do is hope and ask people for their prayers,” Al Franco said. “I didn’t push a religion on my kids; I allowed them to choose on their own. His mother is a devout Catholic and in the last few years, Daniel has gone that way and has been like his mother, in church a lot. I just hope that helps him. We need a lot of prayers.”

More from Yahoo Sports: • Warriors win grudge match against Cavs for second title in three years • Does Floyd Mayweather-Conor McGregor have a date? Let’s not get hasty … • Minnesota Twins make surprising move with No. 1 pick in MLB draft • Clemson honored by President Trump at White House (video)

#_category:yct:001000844 #_uuid:f03c18d4-15b6-3a5b-9c41-9aa384a2af1b #_lmsid:a077000000CFoGyAAL #_author:Kevin Iole #_revsp:8ebf071c-e69d-4a02-9c96-01e4e6940ef8

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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

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no, love don't come easy (branjie) - holtzmanns

Summary: “Move over.” Jose repeats it, insistent. As if the edge in his voice is a knife that can chip away at Brock’s heart into agreeing with him.

“Go back to sleep.” Brock wants to follow his own words. Wishes he could. He doesn’t want to deal with the way that Jose immediately makes his brain forget how to function, make rational decisions.

Based from a prompt from writ to write about bedsharing on the DXP tour bus.

AN: In which holtzmanns sees real life tour occurrences, happily ignores them, and writes fic instead. Thank you writ, sharer of my single braincell, for the prompt and for betaing.

“The hell?”

It’s still dark when Brock blinks the sleep from his eyes, squints to see who the fuck has roused him from his rest which had been so hard to come by in the first place. Despite his aching muscles and tendons from throwing himself into the splits and handstands on stage every night, he hasn’t been sleeping. Not well, at least.

It’s been especially difficult tonight, too. Twisting and turning in his bunk on the tour bus that feels just a little too small, too uncomfortable for his lanky frame. Like it was never meant to fit someone like him in the first place. Tonight he’s had to bring his knees in closer, duck his head to fit, to try to earn some semblance of sleep before yet another day of travel and a show.

Not that it’s even mattered, considering that he’s awake. Again.

“Move over.” The voice, gravelly and sleep laden as it is, isn’t hard to recognize. Neither are the hints of cologne that haven’t faded from the day, a scent that makes Brock think of soft smiles and late nights and stolen moments and…jealousy. And arguments, and hurtful words that neither of them have really attempted to take back since.

It’s complicated.

“What?” He’s feeling a bit slow on the uptake, his brain lagging in a way that he can’t tell if it’s from exhaustion or the proximity of the man in front of him. The two factors are intertwined most of the time.

“Move over.” Jose repeats it, insistent. As if the edge in his voice is a knife that can chip away at Brock’s heart into agreeing with him.

“Wasn’t.”

“Wasn’t what?”

“Sleeping.” Jose sounds as tired as Brock feels, like the exhaustion has seeped into his soul, staining it with a weariness that no time off will be able to strip away.

“Me neither now, thanks to you.” As if Brock hasn’t been tossing and turning all night, anyway. He’s not sure if he’ll be able to after this either.

“Please?” Jose’s voice is pleading, softer. A voice that is so rare to Brock’s ears, one that he hasn’t heard in a long time. One which is better saved for usage between the sheets or when Jose is feeling so soft and loving that he can’t help but turn all delicate.

Was feeling soft. Not is. Not anymore.

Doesn’t change the effect that Jose’s voice has on him, though. Something that Jose probably knows will undoubtedly work in his favour.

Hell. Even if he sends Jose away back to his bunk, he’s just going to be thinking of him. Ruminating. Hating it.

He’s halfway to fucking up already. May as well complete the equation with the one variable that he can never solve for on his own.

“Fine.” Brock shifts over then and nearly loses his balance when the bus hits a pothole. He pushes himself up close to the wall, pats the space he’s just made on the mattress. “Can you even fit?”

“Why you always underestimating me?” Jose’s climbing in before he’s even finished his retort, shuffling until he’s pressed his back against Brock’s chest. He grabs Brock’s hand, pulls it around his waist, boxes himself in.

Awful presumptuous. Not that Brock makes any effort to pull away.

Because it feels fucking nice. Feels right, feels familiar, feels reminiscent in a way that Brock hasn’t felt in ages. Because they never stick around after sex anymore, most of the time one of them awkwardly pulling clothes on and leaving as soon as possible before they have to talk about what the fuck they’re doing, God forbid.

He hasn’t held Jose like this in a long time. He fits in his arms like a missing gear, enough to pull the pieces of his heart back together to start functioning properly again. He smells like anger and pain but also smells like home. Like softness. Like comfort.

Brock can’t help but bury his face in Jose’s shoulder and his neck, feeling the warmth that radiates from his skin and wondering how the fuck he hasn’t been burnt already. His eyes scrunch tighter in tandem with the arms around Jose’s waist, making him shift in his arms, nuzzle in closer.

He’s so fucked. They’re so fucked.

It makes him mad, almost, how easily he finds himself drifting off. He wants to fight it out of spite and try to stay up, because he does not need anyone else to complete him. To make him function like a person. He can do that by himself - always has.

Except this feels so much better. He’s not clutching empty space, folding in on himself and attempting to be whole when all he feels is empty. No, now he feels present, feels the way that his breathing is syncing up with Jose’s and getting deeper and deeper and it’s just not fair.

It’s a lot harder to avoid thoughts about Jose’s smile and the way that his hands always fit so perfectly with Brock’s during times like this, when Brock’s enveloped his small frame in a grasp, one that is tighter than it should be. As if Brock is afraid to lose him. Because he’s not.

The kiss that he places against Jose’s shoulder blade before succumbing to sleep is just an old habit that hasn’t died. One that feels too natural, too right. Not wrong enough to twist his gut in the way that it should.

Jose’s gone from the bunk when Brock wakes up and opens his eyes. Brock can hear his voice reverberating from the back of the bus, loud and bickering with Morgan over what they should have for breakfast.

Brock’s pillow still smells like him.

They don’t talk about it. Jose continues to hit him with light barbs, ones that he laughs off but that leave scratches on his arms that come close to breaking the skin. Brock volleys them right back, because making Jose speechless with light teasing is his second favourite way of getting him to shut up.

During the show that night Jose is more touchy, more daring. Going for his hand. Wrapping an arm around his waist. Brock wants to ignore how perfectly Jose fits within the crook of his arm, because it’s not relevant to anything.

Brock doesn’t flirt back with any guys at the club they go to after the show that night, nursing his cider at the bar. He’s too tired to try, must be it. He needs nights off sometimes.

Jose does. Keeps shooting him glances every so often, as if daring him to do something. Try something.

Brock doesn’t give in to his urge to pull Jose out of the club, yank his shorts low on his thighs in the side alleyway no matter how much Jose wants him to. It never feels right when it’s like this, not like how it used to feel between them. It’s not going to solve any problems, something he’s learned the hard way with them.

He orders another drink instead.

But then when they get back to the bus Brock can’t help but grab at Jose’s waist before he walks past him to his own bunk, stopping him in his tracks before he can take another step.

“What, bitch?” Jose looks annoyed. Unsatisfied. Brock, Captain Obvious, can’t help but think it has something to do with him.

“Come on.” He doesn’t know why he’s doing this, really. It’s stupid. Could turn into a habit, a dangerous habit that could send them down a rabbit hole that neither of them will be able to return from.

But last night was the best sleep that he’s had in weeks. Fucking weeks.

Jose rolls his eyes in faux bravado and coolness, but doesn’t argue. Lets Brooke pull him in close, pliant in his arms. Puts his hand on Brock’s forearm like it belongs there.

It becomes a pattern. One that the other girls begin to notice, when Jose doesn’t roll out of his usual bottom bunk closest to the kitchen but instead from Brock’s middle bunk near the front of the bus. Nina just sighs when Brock shrugs at her. She’s given up, Brock can’t blame her for it. He’s tired of himself and his decisions, too.

But the days feel lighter, more manageable. He’s able to stay asleep for most of the night without tossing and turning now, with only a slight chance that it’s because of the person wrapped in his arms who feels like his own personal space heater, grounding him back to reality like a deep pressure.

The bags under Jose’s eyes lessen, too. He’s still smiling away like he always does but the smiles reach his eyes now. He becomes bolder with Brock, grabbing his hand on stage and playing it up for the crowd but it doesn’t matter because Brock likes putting his arm around Jose, too. As much as he shouldn’t.

Though Brock reasons that it’s okay sometimes to tell his subconscious to fuck off, when the tour is so short and ending in a week and a half and it’s not like this is forever, anyway. They’ll be heading to separate flights soon enough, taking them to different cities where the thorns in his heart will tug whenever Jose pops up on his Instagram. But that’s a problem for future Brock. Not him right now.

Brock doesn’t need anyone else. But, perhaps, having Jose in his arms right now, in this moment, breathing in his cologne and pressing kisses to his back is okay.

More than okay.

For now.

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #fluff #minor angst #mostly fluff #holtzmanns #submission #canon compliant

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artificialqueens · 6 years ago

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I'll Go (Even Though I May Not Like It) (Branjie) - Mac

AN: I heard the song “Happier” by Bastille and now it’s 2am and I spent all night writing this rather than doing anything productive, so please enjoy some Branjie angst.

Summary: Brock contemplates his relationship with Jose. They come to conclusions, and don’t at the same time.

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been thinking

I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier

Brock didn’t know what he was doing here.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He knew exactly why he was standing outside Jose’s apartment. It had been a long day. Everything that could have gone wrong, did. His flight had been delayed almost 10 hours, there was a screaming baby next to him on the plane, and he didn’t even have any coffee.

The day had been shit, and he wanted to talk about it.

He should have called Nina. He should have gone to anyone else. But he was here. After all these months, and FaceTime calls, and longing glances across interviews. It all culminated here.

On Jose’s doorstep.

When the morning comes

When we see what we’ve become

They had done this dance before. Jose had called.

It was always Jose who called.

Usually he was drunk, or lonely, or both. Mostly both.

But Brock ended up here more times than he could count.

In the cold light of day, we’re a flame in the wind

Not the fire that we’ve begun

He didn’t knock yet. He doesn’t know what makes this time so hard.

Maybe because he didn’t want sex. It made it easier to knock if it were just sex. This wasn’t that. This was different. Brock wanted to talk to Jose, not just about his shitty day, but about everything. About his cats and his hopes and how much he cares for Jose. But Jose didn’t want that. Clearly, or he would have communicated that by now.

Every argument, every word we can’t take back

‘Cause with all that has happened

I think that we both know the way that this story ends

Brock wasn’t an idiot, contrary to popular belief. He knew that this “thing” whatever it was, couldn’t end well.

If only he could get the balls to just TALK to Jose.

But it was easier said than done.

Regardless of all that though, Brock knocks.

Then only for a minute

I want to change my mind

'Cause this just don’t feel right to me

He waits and waits, and right when he starts to think that maybe knocking on your ex’s door at 2 in the morning isn’t a good idea. The face he had come to think of as home, appeared. Brock tried not to immediately pull the younger man into his arms, but he failed.

He failed miserably.

Clearly Jose was taken aback, but after a few moments, he melted into the familiar embrace. It felt good, it felt right.

And god didn’t that just kick Brock in the gut.

I wanna raise your spirits

I want to see you smile but

Know that means I’ll have to leave

Brock pulled away, trying to wipe a stray tear before Jose could see them. He was not as slick as he seemed, because the face Jose made was one of pity, and understanding all at once.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

They stood there for a moment, not saying anything with words.

“Come in.” Jose finally muttered.

Brock shuffled through the door, trying not to focus on where their bodies brushed against each other.

He stood in the familiar living room, hands moving from his pockets to his legs to his pockets again.

“I’m sorry to be here so late.”

“It’s fine.” Brock didn’t believe him. The way he kept rubbing his eyes gave away how tired he really was. “Are you ok?”

Brock laughed out loud at that. A half-sob made its way out at the same time. “No. Not at all.” He made the mistake of looking Jose in the eyes at that moment.

I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier

“I don’t know what I was thinking coming here.” A lie.

Jose walked over from where he was idling by the door to stand directly in front of his taller counterpart. He grabbed the Canadian’s hands.

“I missed you too.”

Brock desperately wants to tell him.

It’s not just that. It’s everything. I missed more than you, I missed YOU. I missed the way your breath smells like coffee always, and how you can’t be bothered to do your hair in the mornings, and how people think you can’t be quiet, but you only ever whisper to me.

When the evening falls

And I’m left there with my thoughts

They had been giving hints on social media every now and then. A public flirty comment on a post was usually followed by a private text. Usually a compliment or a general “how are you?” but all the other communication paled in comparison to having the real thing in front of him. The real Jose. Not Vanjie, or Vanessa, but Jose. As he was. Quiet, and loving, and so incredibly perfect in Brock’s arms. It hurt more than it should to hear Jose’s words.

Brock pulled away, not so far as to push the younger queen off, but enough to take in Jose’s full appearance. An oversized t-shirt that barely came to the top of his thighs.

“You done lookin? I’m feeling a bit like chopped liver over here.” Jose tried to joke.

But Brock could only process so much at a time.

“Hey.” Jose tapped the side of his head. “What’s goin on up here?”

“I don’t think I can keep doing this.”

That was not what Jose was expecting, as he stepped back like he had been burned.

“Whaddya mean?”

Brock dropped his hands now. “This, this thing between us. It isn’t going to work.” Brock isn’t saying this right. “You and I both know you could never…”

“I could never what?” Jose’s voice had taken on a harsh tone. Accusatory, and this is not going at all how Brock intended. He just wanted Jose to be happy, and clearly, he was having the opposite effect.

And the image of you being with someone else

Well, it’s eating me up inside

“Forget it. I shouldn’t have come.” Brock made to move past Jose but was stopped by the very body he was trying to avoid. Brock stopped, and Jose placed his hands lightly on his chest, almost as if he feared spooking the older queen. He traced the planes of Brock’s chest. Slowly, so slowly, they rested on top of his pounding heart.

“Please don’t go.” Jose whispered. “I dunno know how you’re feeling. You have to tell me.”

But we ran our course, we pretended we’re okay

Now if we jump together, at least we can swim

Far away from the wreck we made

Brock wants to scream.

I can’t keep chasing you. I can’t keep living my life waiting to see you. It hurts too much.

Then only for a minute

I want to change my mind

I can’t be the only one in love.

He wants to say. He wants to scream. He wants to kiss the man in front of him.

'Cause this just don’t feel right to me

I wanna raise your spirits

Brock does the last one. The meeting of their lips is slow, but he tries to channel everything from the past few months into it.

I want to see you smile but

Know that means I’ll have to leave

Brock finally pulls away for air and rests his head against Jose’s. Their exhales are the only audible sound in the apartment.

Other than Brock’s heart breaking in his chest, which sounds so loud in his head that he wonders if Jose can hear it too.

He almost asks.

I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier

Brock presses one last kiss to the top of Jose’s head, before walking to the door.

This time, he isn’t stopped.

So I’ll go, I’ll go

I will go, go, go

The cool air hitting his face is sobering, and unwelcome. He stands outside for a moment, breathing in and out, trying his best to not turn back around and run into the man he loves’ arms.

I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier

Even though I might not like this

I think that you’ll be happier, I want you to be happier

His instincts pushed aside for now, and with the resolve that this will be better for the both of them, he is given the last push to leave.

Then only for a minute (Only for a minute)

I want to change my mind

'Cause this just don’t feel right to me (Right to me)

And if at night he sits up thinking about all the ways he fucked up that night, he won’t mention it. He will grin and bear the nosy interviews, relentless tagging in posts, and the overwhelming loneliness.

So I’ll go, I’ll go

I will go, go, go

And so, he went.

#rpdr fanfiction #vanessa vanjie mateo #brooke lynn hytes #branjie #angst #past relationship #mac #song fic

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