#max's musings
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Ugh.
Sometimes I remember that Bad Batch gave us this badass Black woman who was a liberator of ancient wonders and was like Indiana Jones but fucking cooler and witty, charming, and FUN and so so so nice and caring and understanding and she befriended the Bad Batch and gave them a safe place in the galaxy to call home and then made her the love interest of the heavily autistic coded white-washed Maori man and thus made them an interracial couple
AND THEN-
they killed off Tech and then used Phee as an uber driver for s3 and didn't give her any closure or anything for his death.
#THEY WERE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER!!#UGH AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND#SHE IS A BLACK WOMAN#HOW MANY BLACK WOMEN ARE IN STAR WARS HUH????#HOW MANY INTERRACIAL COUPLES ARE THERE IN STAR WARS HUH?????#YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THE TWO OF THEM MEAN TO ME AS A NEURODIVERGENT BIRACIAL PERSON!!!#UGHHHHHHH#i'll never forgive you bad batch#why would you do that???#oh wait I know why!#FUCK OFFFFFFF OH MY GODDDD#i love tech and phee so so so much#they mean so so much to me#i cry every time i think about them#or see fanart about them#they make me so so ughhhh#waaaaahhhhghhhh#they were so perfect for each other :(#i would say that I hope star wars brings Phee back somewhere#but i don't trust them to do a good job#sigh#feel like shit just want them back#techphee#tbb tech#phee genoa#tech x phee#bad batch#max's musings#in my feels at 1 am
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i need a women want me fish fear me shirt
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This is how my morning went, what about the rest of you?
#The bird is fine and free now but that was certainly something to wake up to#I keep forgetting whatever tag I used for my own posts#Max's musings#Probably
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“I’ve never done something like this before” with Carlos sainz??? Maybe reader is total homebody or like doesn’t party but her bf broke up with her because she was too “boring” so she goes on a trip with some “friends” and she runs into a fresh winning smooth operator and so on tee hee
SMOOOOTTTHHH OPERATOORRR
“I’ve never done something like this before” from this subtle smut list. part of my mini writing event, now closed!
carlos sainz x f!reader, rated t. drinking, suggestive but no smut!
you're not sure how you ended up in a london club. not sure how many drinks you've had, and not sure if you want another or want to go home. but a handsome man is buying for you, his fingers clutching your hip a little possessively like he's laying claim over you. making sure no other man tries to make a move, to take you from him.
you're here because of your stupid boyfriend. or, ex-boyfriend now. a manipulative, lying cheater who wasted six months of your time. your friends had dragged you away from home, pooling their money to book an extra room on their trip to london. and of course, they'd convinced you to go out with them.
your friends were dancing, you'd spent some time with them, but you preferred to sit at the bar, resting your feet and chatting with whoever sat near you. that's how you'd met him.
carlos sainz. you've heard of him, a racing driver from your native spain. but you never followed the sport. and you'd never known how gorgeous he is. long, full lashes surround deep brown eyes, the kind that stare at you with something between warmth and need. his nose and jaw are strong, his face striking enough to remain in your memory for a long time to come.
somewhere between deciding on a drink or an uber, he's kissing you. you let it happen, fingers clutching the soft hair at the nape of his neck. he smells like expensive spanish cologne, the kind your grandfather saved for special occasions. it's nostalgic. it's intoxicating.
the nerves you normally face have melted away in his presence. maybe it's carlos, or maybe it's the liquor that's burned your throat all night. but you know yourself, know your tolerance, and know what you want from him.
"i've never done something like this before," you murmur against his ear, fingers brushing over his muscled thigh. "but. do you want to come back to my hotel room?"
carlos grins at you, "no, no. you come back to mine," he counters. "bigger bed, and better room service."
all you can do is nod along, standing and taking his hand as he guides you toward the door.
© oscquinn, 2025. click here for my inbox.
#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz imagine#cs55 x reader#cs55 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 imagine#maggie's musings [blurbs]#max's wife [daisy]
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santa doesn’t know you like i do ✧ MV33
summary: it’s christmas eve, and your boyfriend, max verstappen — a notoriously bad gift giver — still has not told you what presents he had bought you. unbeknownst to you, however, he has found the wishlist you jokingly wrote to santa, and is planning a heartwarming surprise for his beloved.
trigger warnings: suggestive & mature content, swearing
word count: 1.1k
note: phrases and sentences in the dutch language are utilized throughout; keep a translator accessible



⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
Dear Santa, the letter began, I know that I’m almost twenty-three years old, so writing a letter to you is kind of foolish, but I still believe in the magic of Christmas, even if you aren’t real. This Christmas, I’m not really expecting much. My boyfriend, Max Verstappen, buys me anything I ask for, no matter what time of the year it is. He’s the best partner I could ask for. But the reason why I’m writing this letter is because he is clueless when he has to pick out gifts on his own, without my assistance.
So, before I go off on a tangent talking about how bad his solo gifts have been — do I have to mention the knitted red socks or lavender flavored gumballs? —, these are the things that I’m most looking forward to hopefully seeing under the Christmas tree.
A new set of lipsticks, because mine is really old and running out. I didn’t want to ask Max to buy me one, because I feel bad making him pay for anything.
The new rose gold spade necklace from Chanel. I saw it in a display case at the store in Monaco, and I was itching to purchase it. It’s really beautiful.
And last, but not least, a carton of Ferrero Rocher chocolates, the ones in the golden wrap and the crunchy nuts. My mouth is salivating just from thinking about it.
I know that there’s probably no point to writing this letter since you’re not exactly a living, breathing person, but a part of me hopes that your magic might help figure some of the kinks in Max’s terrible gift-giving skills out.
After writing the letter, you ended up throwing it away in the trash. It was such a waste of time, you thought. What in the world possessed you to do this? You were a busy woman, working for Red Bull as a PR manager. There was never a quiet moment. That was how you and Max had met: you were assigned to aid Liam Lawson in figuring out any media scandals, but as soon as Max had laid eyes on you, he’d immediately ordered Christian Horner to switch you to helping him out.
You were unsure of him, how aggressive and competitive he was. He wouldn’t shy away from direct confrontation, and that terrified you, since the idea of verbally arguing with someone made you nauseous. But so far, eight months into the relationship, you and Max had not had a single fight. He was loving, patient, and kind, willing to hear your side of the story every single time, even if he looked like he was about to flip a table. (This usually happened in PR meetings: you never argued outside of work.)
This would be your first Christmas together, and you were nervous. You knew what to get him: a new Red Bull team shirt and a pair of matching scarves that had colorful cats printed on it. It was purr-fect, and you knew that Max would — hopefully — love it.
Max entered the room, his steps hurried as he typed away on his phone and let out a big huff in frustration. You leaned against the wall, watching him as you sipped your chocolate-flavored boba tea. “Hey, is everything all good, mijn leeuw?” you asked, tacking on the Dutch pet name that fit your boyfriend perfectly. He was a lion, loud and courageous…especially in bed. Your cheeks heated at the thought.
Max looked up from his phone, his mouth a little open in confusion. “No, I’m OK, liefde. Just…fucking delivery people, not being on time.” Your eyebrow quirked, and Max shook his head. “And no, for the seventh time, I will not tell you what I’m getting you for Christmas. I know your birthday might’ve been bad, but I promise this time I’ll be good. Ik hou van je, schat.”
“Ik houd ook van jou,” you responded. “But I think I have every right to be concerned.”
Max rolled his eyes, walking over to where you were and placing one arm above your head, effectively locking you in place. “It will be fine. Don’t worry your pretty head about it, hm?” He grinned, kissing you on the forehead. “And if it does end up wrong, I’ll fuck you really well to make up for it.”
You blushed, averting your gaze away from him. “Max.”
“It’s true.” He released his hand from the wall, moving a dozen inches apart from your face. “Geloof me, lieverd.”
You bit your tongue and didn’t respond.
The next evening, also known as Christmas night, you and Max were preparing to open your presents. Your stomach was like a swarm of butterflies, you were so nervous to see what was in store for you under the tree. Max, however, was the epitome of ice-cold, his face betraying no hint as to what he may have purchased.
“Your turn first, engel.” Max motioned for you to select your first gift, and with shaky hands, you began to unpeel the small, square-shaped package. Finally unveiling it, you realized what it was: the rose gold spade Chanel necklace you’d been wanting for so long.
“Max! Oh my God, jij bent de beste!” you cried out, hugging him tightly and making him crack up in laughter. “How did you know?” you asked as you pulled away, but Max shrugged his shoulders.
“I just know things, liefde.” It was now Max’s turn to select his first gift, and he chose the nondescript package that held the colorful cat scarves in them. You suppressed a smile, watching as he carefully cut through the gift wrapping and sifted through the gift paper. His face broke out in a large smile, his blue eyes gleaming with happiness. “Cat scarves? This is adorable!”
“I hoped you would like it,” you said, beaming back at him. You shifted your position to pick up another gift; this time, it was heavy and rectangular. An inkling of suspicion wormed its way through you as you met Max’s gaze. “If this is what I think this is… Thank you.”
It was, in fact, a new set of lipsticks, just like you had written in your letter to Santa Claus. Somehow, Max must have found the letter and bought everything that you’d put on the list.
“You deserve it,” Max responded, pulling you close to him after you both had finished unwrapping the presents. “You’re the love of my life, Y/N. I owe you the world.”
You kissed his temple. “You’re the most incredible partner I could ever have.”
“Merry Christmas, hart van mij.”
Needless to say, you paid Max back for the thoughtful presents all night long. It was a Christmas you’d never forget, and you sent up a silent thanks to the magic of Santa Claus for having it all work out.
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
#the muse of aphrodite fics#f1#formula 1#f1 x reader#formula one#f1 fic#max verstappen#mv33#mv33 rb#mv33 x reader#christmas
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ARNAS FEDARAVIČIUS & CARRIE COON The White Lotus 3.05 "A Poetic Act"
#arnas fedaravicius#arnas fedaravičius#carrie coon#* gifs#the white lotus#* show: the white lotus#* gifs.#the white lotus spoilers#the white lotus season 3#twl#twl 3#twl spoilers#hbotwl#hbo the white lotus#hbo max#twlhbo#dailymalesource#the white lotus valentin#valentin#muse inspo#hboedit
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Max: "I was so subtle in dropping hints that I wanted her to move to Monaco"
Also Max: Sent you a photo of his half empty closet with the caption "this apartment is too big. I have no idea how to fill the space," "hey they have that tea you like here that was discontinued for you. It comes with 30 tea bags so you'd have to stay here for a while to finish all of them," "I bought a bigger shoe rack so that you can keep your shoes by the door." Coincidentally moves his phone on facetime to show a mug on the counter with your initial on it in the background.
STOP NONNIE I LOVE THIS 😭😭😭 he thinks he's soo slick about it until he starts telling people and they're like max ? you literally could not have been more obvious about it ? but you just pretend you had no idea at all , not wanting to spoil his pride in thinking he was so subtle about it
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Max & Daniel throwback to 2018 | Futsal in São Paulo | x
#max verstappen#daniel ricciardo#autumn posts#verstappencom admin I love you so much!! ❤️#I hadn't seen this whole video before (only their extremely delightful handshake!!)#love to imagine them rehersing that 😭💞✨#Max with his backwards cap and Daniel's laugh 💞🥹✨#just quick gifs before back to work!!#filing under things that are just new to me#❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#thirsting silliness ahead but#also my insta froze after buffering the last post and I only got 'Daniel likes to take it by his hands. the balls' 😳🙂↕️#well yes! in my ho rn dog musings quite often! 🎺���#oh I'll stop there 🙂↕️✨#anyways maxiel my beloved always on my mind!!!!!!!#a wonderful day it seems with many more wonderful ones to come!!!! ❤️❤️
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Here the thing is-
Episode 15 better fucking be 3 hours long or some shit because what the FUCK!
And if it's not, it better end with like the fucking "The Bad Batch will return" title card shit they have at the end of Marvel movies with there being an announcement for a new series that is a continuation of the Bad Batch but it maybe called something else because it doesn't only relate to the Bad Batch.
I see people saying let's get a "Tales of the Clones" and that would be great, amazing even, but seeing as the last two "Tales of the [thing]" were series comprised of two stories focused on two characters (and backstories at that) I don't really see it working out well in tying things up in Bad Batch.
If anything, maybe it'll work, but if they do a "Tales of the Clones" I do hope it follows Rex leading some kind of clone rebellion or something and then also Cody and seeing him go to Tatooine to find Obi-Wan.
Even better? We get "Tales of the Clones" AND an additional other clone show that ties up everything in the Bad Batch.
Hahaha....right? Not like Star Wars would let us down, right? They totally would give the fans what they want instead of what they think they want, right? Right?
I say all of this as I put on my clown wig, nose, and shoes.
#look#what the hell#shouldn't the end of a season of your favorite show make you like happy or excited or something?#yeah you're supposed to be sad about it ending but there should also be excitement about how everything is going to tie up#instead i'm fucking scared as hell and so so frustrated#and STRESSED LIKE WHAT THE FUCK#no show should make anyone as stressed as this fucking show has made me#like don't get me wrong I HAVE enjoyed this season#but like#there's just so much#more questions than answers#frustration#and just stress#sigh#tbb#tbb s3#the bad batch#bad batch#tbb hunter#tbb wrecker#tbb tech#tbb echo#tbb crosshair#tbb omega#max's musings
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i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester i hate polyester
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because i constantly go back and forth. robby’s “you let fear drive your decision making” seemed like a heavy innuendo that makes me think that she pulled away when the relationship got too heavy but from the way she was acting so hostile to him in the first episode and him constantly attempting to seek out her attention and initiating the conversations first are making me think it’s him trying to absolve himself from hurting her / pushing her away (possibly after adamson’s death).
#the pitt#the pitt on max#michael robinavitch#heather collins#noah wyle#tracy ifeachor#— && araybiaaa’s musings#the pitt hbo#the pitt max#robby x collins
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Favorite npmd moments 1/?
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I am so glad that the kid spectrals have such normal and caring spirits who will definitely not physically endanger and/or cruelly betray them in the midst of their lives already being destroyed by cults, monsters, and interpersonal drama. It’s so cool and nice 👍
#paranatural#pnat spoilers#paranatural spoilers#*SHAKES THEM ALL* BE NICE TO YOUR KIDS?#Isabel doesn’t get an evil spirit partner but she does get all of her kind caring spirit partners forcibly taken from her#which she is subsequently scolded mocked and belittled for by a grown ass man. so she’s also not doing great over here#I also feel like these parallels(?) are maybe harsh towards some of them#catnine is just straight up shitty. pacts will almost certainly be shitty in the future but technically hasn’t done anything wrong YET#to max I mean. not in general. I side eye the sphinxes#muse and forge have the potential and motives to be shitty later but I personally doubt they will go as far as any of the others#and peekaboo. if I’m being honest. I don’t believe it genuinely has the capacity to fully understand that it is hurting/betraying Dimitri#like fully is just concerned with wanting a friend to play with and not being abandoned.#which obviously doesn’t mean that Dimitri WONT get hurt/betrayed further or that the hurt/betrayal is in any way less#we also do not know what’s up with Scrapdragon considering she is also currently incapable of experiencing complex thoughts lol#could be evil. could be cool. is currently just a big hungry and kind of irritated snake lady. which I love for her personally#I don’t remember if Scrapdragon has been given pronouns. just that max calls her girl. assigned lady snake by the protag.
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I can show you four. - Max Verstappen, 2024.
#just. a lil fun 🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧#max verstappen#red bull racing#f1 edit#kit posts#2024 season#can u tell I missed f1#I MISSED MY DOLL BRO my MUSE#im MARRIEDEEDDDDD
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Harlequin Prince (2)
Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually
Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three | Four Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two | Three Harley Quinn One | Two (you're here!) 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedidiah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One Queen ClarisseRenaldi One | Two
This part was line-jumped on Ko-Fi, which means y'all got it sooner than I originally planned!
If you want to line jump your favorite series, you can learn more here
Ironically, even tho the post says about a week of turn around, I get so excited that somebody wants to line jump that I just write it immediately lmao
Steve finally gets a good fight in this one, but it ends way too soon the poor boy. Either way, he also gets to meet some of the party!
As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)
-------
Steve knew his dad wasn't in the picture, but he never knew why. He never asked, but he started to get this horrible feeling after a while. Harley Quinn's past was well known to Steve, her previous...associate and her relationship with him isn't exactly a secret, no matter how much his mother tried to keep them from him. She couldn't protect him at school, and she couldn't protect him from hearing people talking on the streets.
So, yeah, from the age of nine, Steve walked around with this horrendous knowledge in his gut, a knowledge that he wanted to think was just him being paranoid. But it wasn't. He knew it wasn't. He just couldn't admit that to himself, and he couldn't ask his mother because he didn't want to send her down that particular lane of memories. So it festered, and Steve pretended it didn't exist at all.
Until, that is, his 13th birthday. It was held at Uncle Bruce's mansion because his mother wanted to go all out. It was as much a celebration for her (a full three years without getting sent to Arkham!) as it was for him (managing to stay alive for 13 years in Gotham with Harley Quinn for a mother). Steve hadn't minded, either, especially when he saw the absolute joy she had when picking out the hugest bounce-house she could find with Uncle Bruce's sleek black credit card.
The party was catered by Steve's favorite Indian restaurant, the guests were limited to immediate friends and family, the bounce-house was extra bouncy, and a table was practically buckling under the weight of the gifts piled on top of it. It was, by far, Steve's best birthday, surpassing even the one he spent in Arkham after letting Poison Ivy out of her cell.
"Hey, Dumplin'!" his mother shouted, waving at him from the top of the bounce house she'd managed to climb. When Steve looked at her, she grinned even brighter and jumped, launching off turrets and rolling down sloped walls before landing on her feet on the ground. "Let's get to them presents!"
Steve laughed, looked at the table eagerly, and nodded. Her grin somehow getting wider, Harley turned, cupped her hands around her mouth, and shouted, "GET YOUR ASSES IN GEAR, EVERYONE! STEVIE'S OPENIN' PRESENTS!"
Soon enough, Steve was standing in front of the table, surrounded by everyone, and not at all sure where to start with the mountain of presents. "You should open mine first," Jason said, grinning as he gestured to a bike-shaped package.
It was, in fact, a bike. A motorcycle, specifically, with a red and black helmet and the promise of lessons from Jason whenever he wanted. Steve loved it immediately and ignored Uncle Bruce muttering about driving laws and how Steve couldn't operate any motorized vehicle until he was fifteen. "Well," he said, "as long as I don't get caught by Batman, who's gonna know?"
That had earned him a laugh and his mother's hand ruffling his hair. "Go on, Dumplin', choose another."
Dick got him a literal outfit's worth of Wonder Woman merch, accessories included, that made Bruce look ready to pop a blood vessel. Tim gave him small tracking pins and a hacked handheld game console to watch the trackers with the promise of free upgrades anytime he wanted. Damien gave him daggers since he "wasn't good enough for real swords, but everyone should have a blade" on them, just in case. Cass, Steph, and Barbara pooled their skills together (and Alfred, they borrowed Alfred a lot) to make him an Unofficial Robin costume, complete with shorts only slightly less scandalous than Dick's original costume.
Bruce, when he finally stopped glaring at the three of them, gave Steve a fingerprint panic button shaped like a bat and easily attached to a key ring. "For emergencies, Steve," he said, "Just hold your thumb to it for three seconds."
"This is perfect for the next time we run out of ice cream," Steve said, grinning as he attached it to his key chain.
"Emergencies."
"Oh. So if we run out of mint chip, specifically. Got it."
Bruce merely sighed and let him return to opening gifts.
Alfred gave him a tin of homemade cookies that Steve immediately had to protect from the others. Poison Ivy gave him a Venus flytrap and the promise to help him grow it properly. Selina couldn't be there, but Bruce passed along her gift: a pair of goggles Bruce had handed over with a sigh and quiet request for him to use them responsibly.
Steve opened Duke's present last, eyes widening at the red leather jacket. "Wait, seriously?" he asked, holding it up as he looked at Duke.
"You're gonna be a troublemaker, Steve," Duke said. "Might as well make sure you're bulletproof for it."
Steve grinned wider and pulled on the jacket, swimming in the leather but eager to grow into it all the same.
There was nothing from his mother in the pile, but Steve figured the party itself was his present since she'd done all the planning. When she pulled him away to a secluded room in the manor after they'd all had cake, Steve realized it was just because she didn't want to share this moment with anyone.
She smiled at him, reaching up and gently tucking a few strands of hair behind Steve's ears. "You grew up so fast, Dumplin'," she said, sighing softly.
"Ivy says I'm like a weed."
"Ives is right," Harley said, nodding once before looking away. "Okay, ready for your present?"
"Wasn't the party my present?"
"No, no, Dumplin'. The party was for fun," she said, grinning as she reached behind her and pulled a comically-large mallet from seemingly nowhere. "This is your present."
Steve blinked, leaning over to look around Harley. "Where'd that even come from?" he asked.
"Jester Logic, Dumplin'. Don't worry about it. I'll teach you the trick later," she promised, holding the mallet out to Steve with an expectant expression.
When Steve took it, the weight threw him off. He frowned, shifted his grip, and suddenly had no problem holding it up. He took a closer look, noting the scratches and marks on the mallet and the faded paint. "This was yours," he said.
"Yeah, it was."
"I've never seen it before."
Harley sighed, tugging on one of her pigtails with a slight frown. "Yeah, well, I wasn't exactly a great person when I used it, Dumplin'. Tried to forget about that Harley and all," she explained.
"Then why give it to me?"
Harley looked back at Steve and smiled, reaching out to cup his cheek. "Cuz you're so much better than me," she said. "I think you'll do some great things, Dumplin', and maybe all the good you do will erase most of the bad this mallet's got."
Her words were so serious, her smile was so bittersweet, and she looked ready to cry and deny it. This was the closest he'd ever gotten to learning about her past straight from the source, a past he knew about it, a past that involved a certain person that haunts Steve's mind with terrifying potential. Suddenly, he had to know.
Steve didn't really think before blurting out, "Is the Joker my father?"
Harley froze, her shoulders tensing and her eyes widening as she stared at Steve. "You don't got a father, Dumplin'," she finally said, her voice quiet and her expression conflicted.
"Fine. Was he the sperm donor?"
With a sigh, Harley stepped closer and placed her hands on Steve's shoulders. "I won't lie," she said. "He is, but that don't mean a thing. His crazy ain't hereditary, Dumplin', and he's never gettin' anywhere near you."
"Does...does he know?" Steve whispered, "About me, I mean."
"It don't matter," Harley said, her voice firm and her eyes more serious than Steve had ever seen them. "I'll kill him before he gets near ya. Ives will kill him. Hell, Brucie wil---no, wait, he's got those pesky morals. Fine, Jason will kill him before he gets near ya. Actually, Jason'd kill him anyway, but the excuse will be good if Brucie scolds him for it."
Steve couldn't help laughing at that, feeling a little lighter when his mother smiled back at him. When his laughter trickled to nothing more than a smile, he asked, "Then, was I the reason you left?"
Harley nodded and gently tugged Steve into her arms, holding him to her and cradling the back of his head. "Yeah, you were," she said, her voice soft and soothing. "I was excited to tell 'im when I learned about you, but then I heard him talking to some goons. He was laughin' about running a kid over, breakin' their legs, and I realized...you wouldn't be special to him. You'd've been like his goons, all expendable and not even worth a glance. I couldn't put you through that, and I couldn't put me through it, either. So, I got us out the only way I knew how."
"By finding Uncle Bruce," Steve said.
He felt her nod. "By finding Brucie," she agreed. "He tried to deny bein' the Bat and all, but your mama ain't dumb, Dumplin'. I'd done my homework, and the butts matched. Once I explained it all, once I told him about you, he agreed to help."
Steve nodded, listening to his mother's heart beating against his ear. He glances down at the mallet again, tightens his grip, and takes a deep breath. "Thank you," he said, "for the gift and for telling me. I'll do good with it, I promise."
"That's my boy," Harley said, pulling back and ruffling his hair. "Now, lemme explain that Jester Logic to ya."
----------
Hawkins remains boring even after meeting Eddie. After all, Eddie's in high school (his second attempt at senior year, apparently), and Steve...isn't. He should be, probably, but there's no way he's stepping one foot in that suburban nightmare of a building. He can feel the normalcy, the utter boredom, oozing from the place, and he'd rather not subject himself to that.
So, he spends his day wandering around Hawkins, getting a feel for the little town until he could navigate the place blindfolded. He can do the same in Gotham, but it's more impressive there with the winding streets and sprawling sidewalks. Here, it's nothing special.
The most interesting part of his day is when he's sitting on the roof of a video store, one leg dangling over the edge with the other pulled to his chest so he can rest his arm on his knee. He's about halfway through a cigarette when a cop car pulls into the lot and a middle-aged man steps out.
He looks up at Steve, frowning as he calls up, "You shouldn't be there, son."
"I ain't your son," he calls back, grinning as he takes another drag and blows smoke out as the guy rests his hands on his belt. It reminds him so much of Gotham PD rookies trying to posture that Steve can't help laughing. "Is that supposed to intimidate me?"
"I'm serious, kid," the cop says, apparently ignoring Steve's question. "It's dangerous up there. If you don't come down, I'm gonna have to call the Fire Department to bring the ladder."
Steve sighs and puts his cigarette out on the roof. He gets up, stretches his arms above his head, and stands on the ledge of the roof. He grins at the cop, casually stepping into empty air and hearing the guy shout as he falls. He lands in a crouch on the awning over the door, swings to hang from it, and lands on his feet on the sidewalk.
It wasn't even much of a fall, but the cop looks like he's about to have a heart attack. Steve glances at the badge on his chest. "We done now, Officer Hopper?" he asks.
"Don't do that again," Hopper says, pointing a finger at Steve, "Or I will drag your ass to the station and call your parents."
Steve snorts, doing his best to hold his smile back. "I'll keep that in mind, sir," he says, giving a mocking two-finger salute before turning on his heels and walking down the street.
After a few blocks, he veers off into the forest, figuring he'll wander around the trees for a while before going to the Hideout to bother Bev and stare at Eddie and quietly pray someone else is gonna look for a fight.
Did he mention Hawkins is boring? Because it's fucking boring.
Steve sighs, kicking a stick as he shoves his hands into his jacket. He idly notes the forest is healthy. Sure, a few pieces of litter are strewn around, but it's not as bad as the parks in Gotham can get. Poison Ivy would find this place barely passable, which is hard to manage, and he's tempted to call her when he gets home to tell her about it.
He hums softly as he walks, enjoying the sounds of the forest until they just...stop.
The entire forest falls silent, which is weird; forests are too full of life to go silent. Even the bugs seem to have frozen in place, too scared to risk making a sound by moving. Steve stops, looking around him with a frown and trying to figure out what's caused this.
He gets the answer a second later when he hears a scream. The voice sounds young and cracks slightly, so it definitely belongs to a child. Despite himself, Steve can't help grinning as he takes off in the direction of the scream.
This is the most exciting thing to happen in the four weeks he's been stuck in Hawkins. As he runs through trees and easily jumps over bushes to take the shortest path, he makes guesses on what he'll find. Maybe Hawkins has a villain that's only now showing up. Maybe the town has a secret alligator or something that's decided to have a midday snack. Hell, maybe someone just decided to be a dick today.
He realizes every guess is wrong when he slides into a clearing to see a few kids (two boys, one girl) surrounded by some weird dog-looking...things. They have heads but no faces, crouched low to the ground and growling at the kids they've cornered. There's around ten of them, which would normally make Steve hesitate, but he's so desperate at this point for a real fight that he doesn't care.
Instead, he reaches over his shoulder, thinks about how fucking hilarious it's gonna be to jump out of nowhere with a giant mallet, and grips the handle as he swings it over his shoulder. "Hey, monster mutts!" he shouts, grinning when all the monsters and the kids finally notice him. "Let's play."
Pure, unfiltered joy rushes through him when the first monster-dog jumps at him. Steve's eyes are bright and his grin is positively feral as he swings the mallet and sends it flying into a tree. He roundhouse kicks another dog, using the momentum to bring his foot down on the head of a third before smashing its body with the mallet.
"Are you insane?!" one of the kids shouts.
"Certifiably!" he shouts back, watching as another monster-dog jumps at him. He waits for the perfect moment to back flip, bringing his feet under the dog to send it flying. He brings the mallet up as he lands, clocking another monster under the jaw. It yelps, crashing into another dog.
"Where'd this guy even come from?" the girl asks, turning to look at the boys with her.
"I don't know, but I'm happy to let him deal with the demodogs."
Oh. That's what they're called. Steve hums softly at the name, grinning as he twirls the mallet and swings with all his strength at one of the demodog. He rests the mallet on his shoulder like a baseball bat, watching the demodog arch in the air with an appreciative whistle. "Solid air," he says, nodding once before looking at the remaining demodogs.
There's only three, the others scattered in the clearing. He can't tell if they're dead or not, but he could always smash them to mush when he's done. Steve grins at the remaining dogs. "C'mon, then," he says, only to be filled with disappointment when they creep back, turn heel, and run.
"Damn, that's no fun," Steve says, sighing as he rests the mallet on the ground and leans on the handle. He looks at the kids. "You guys okay?"
The girl has orange hair pulled back into a messy braid. She's staring at him like he's got two heads but is kind of impressed by it. One of the boys has curly hair being smothered by his hat, and the other is wearing a basketball jersey. They're also staring at Steve like he's crazy. "Dude," the curly-haired one says, "that was awesome!"
"Where'd you get that mallet from?" the girl asks.
"Jester Logic," Steve explains, shrugging as he picks the mallet up and walks over. "Wanna hold it?"
When the girl lights up, he passes the mallet to her, snorting when she immediately staggers under its weight. "How do you hold this so easily?"
"Jester Logic. Again. It's funnier when other people find it heavy."
"That makes no sense," basketball jersey says.
"Who are you?" curly hair asks.
"Steve. Moved here recently. What about y'all?"
"Dustin," curly hair says.
"Lucas," basketball jersey says.
"Max," the girl says, her voice strained until Steve takes the mallet back, twirling it like it weighs nothing.
"Great. Nice to meet y'all. Now, what the fuck were those?"
"How much time you got?" Dustin asks.
Steve grins, thinking he's finally found something that can keep him entertained when he's not hanging around Eddie. "Plenty."
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Tag list (let me know if you'd like to be added!)
@nectandra, @y4r3luv, @just-a-tiny-void,
#steddie#steddie fic#harlequin prince#steve deserves good parents actually#steve harrington#harley quinn#bruce wayne#jim hopper#dustin henderson#lucas sinclair#max mayfield#dc comics crossover#wayne family adventures crossover#i kinda let the muse take over with this one actually#unhinged steve harrington#as he deserves#poison ivy#robins
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