#max’s wifey

[lightsoutletsgo]

mimi congrats on 500, i’m so happy for you! 🤍🧸✨🫶🏼 i never send anything for these kinds of things but i need to do it now because i trust you 👀 so okay. . . can i request 2 ships please? and ofc i wouldn’t mind a little nsfw. i’m an aspiring actress, my favorite food is pasta and always will be. i’m a little introverted and shy but once i’m comfortable around people i’m able to get out of my bubble. i’m a perfectionist and don’t like not having control over my life. i have a hard time expressing my feelings :( and may come across as a cold person but i am extremely sentimental, i just wanna be held and loved. i like going out as much as i like staying in watching a movie or doing anything, really.

congrats again baby, love youuuu. <333

ahhh gwen! I'm so honoured that you trust me to write this request hehe I hope you enjoy it - this was literally so fun 🤭 happy reading! love mimi 🤍

MAX VERSTAPPEN ᝰ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ (everyone pretends to be shocked) - calls you schatje or lekker ding (when he's being silly) - loves loves LOVES feeling your hand in his!! it keeps him grounded - his love language is physical touch - he loves surprising you with flowers and buying you flowers. doesn't even need to be for anything, he just loves showing you how he feels through the language of flowers (omg fic idea?)

max relates hard to feeling like a perfectionist and while he also wants you to be the best version of yourself, he doesn't allow you to be hard on yourself. if he sees you getting too into your head, he's quick to hold your face and make you look at him. he'll remind you that he loves you and that he's proud of you. the way he looks at you makes you feel like you could make a million mistakes in the next few minutes and you'd still be okay - because you have him by your side. both you and max are often called the ice couple. no one means anything by it! they just think it's kind of funny how you're so short with others (especially if you're upset or stressed) but then you look at each other and it's like you do a 180. max won't ever admit this but it actually turns him into such a melt knowing that he's the only one who can turn you that mushy.

max loves taking you with him on race weekends and he will never not get butterflies seeing you there waiting for him in the garage with his name and number on your shirt, but nothing makes him get butterflies more than you sleepily curled up on his chest at home. he's a sucker for at-home dinner date nights and he loves cooking with you in the kitchen, it's fine if it gets super messed up because then he's telling you to get dressed and he's taking you out for dinner at one of the nicest restaurants in monaco where you know there's no way that he would have gotten in if he wasn't the max verstappen.

he loves that you have your dream of being an actress and he does as much as he can to support you in that, even if he's on the other side of the world. helping you look for workshops and audition opportunities, introducing you to your favourite actresses and inspirations when they're at the f1, helping you learn and run lines. you support him so much in his dream and career, showing up to as many of his races as possible that he can't wait for the day he gets to return the favour and stand on the red carpet as your trophy husband for the night! he's actually really excited by the thought!

max is absolutely addicted to the noises you make for him and only him as he loves to remind you. nothing satisfies him more than seeing your eyes roll back as he murmurs to you, his voice low, "who's making you this messy schat hmm?". he relishes in the way you squeeze around him when he's pushing in for the first time and you love the way he grips your hips as he does his best to control himself, the ache of his fingers digging into your hips a delicious reminder over the next few hours of just who you belong to. max is possessive, highly possessive. there is no way you're not leaving his bed, couch, apartment, car, driver's room, without him leaving a pretty mark in at least one or two places. he never does it where it can be captured by the cameras, instead choosing spots that only the two of you know about or spots that he can gently press when you're in public, the brief sting sending tingles down your spine.

"schatje?" max's voice prompts you to open your eyes from where you'd been dozing on the couch with the cats, "what do you want for dinner tonight?" you crane your neck to look at him as you gently scratch under sassy's chin, giggling at the way you feel her starting to purr against your tummy, "hmmm..." you look at him and bite your lip with a smile, max chuckles and nods, "pasta it is then!" you let out a cheer as max crosses the room and gently lifts your head to create a space to sit. as soon as he's sitting, he's placing your head back in his lap, one hand automatically soothing over your hair, his other hand snaking down to link his fingers with yours. you hum happily and he gazes down at you with so much love and adoration you swear you could cry. he leans down to press a soft kiss your forehead. you're not even aware of your eyes closing and drifting off to sleep but when you next open your eyes, you're cuddled into max, the cats nowhere to be found. it's dark outside and the lamp in the corner is switched on, casting a dim golden glow over the room. "how long was I out?" max stretches before pulling you closer to him, burying his nose into your neck and inhaling your cosy sleepy smell. "a couple of hours..." you sigh contentedly, hands sneaking under his hoodie to gently scratch at his lower back soothingly and he shudders next to you, "fuck... I missed you this weekend schatje." "I missed you to..." "I really don't wanna get up to make dinner," you giggle, "me either..." he sighs as if he's making a life altering decision, "then I guess we're just gonna have to order from your favourite italian restaurant." you give a little excited squeak as he rolls on top of you, softly grabbing one of your calves to wrap your leg around his waist, leaning down to press a kiss to your neck before he whispers in your ear, his voice gravelly, "think I could make you cum before dinner arrives?"

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

LANDO NORRIS ᝰ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ - calls you baby or sugar (when he's being annoying) - is addicted to your lips! like he loves kissing them but sometimes he gets so distracted just staring at you talk - his love language is acts of service - lando really isn't a good cook but he'll learn to make your favourite pasta dish just for you! lando is known for being that happy smiley, golden retriever around everyone whether he knows them or not. but you're not and he understands that! whenever you're in a new environment or meeting new people, he's gently linking his fingers with yours and squeezing once, twice, three times just to remind you that he's there if you need him. he'll happily stand slightly in front of you if it makes you feel better but as soon as you've warmed up and you're in your zone he's stepping back with a proud smile (and totally zoning out because your lips look so good when you smile and laugh)

lando is not a chef in any way, but he is determined to learn how to make your favourite dishes just because the way your eyes widen and you smile at him when he presents dinner to you is worth any amount of time or fails or tiny burns he gets in the process! he loves being able to surprise you after a long hard day or at any point! sure the presentation might be lacking and sometimes you have to add a little extra salt when he's not looking, but he does it with so much love and care. even taking the time to set the table up with a candle and some flowers. he'll pull your chair out for you to sit down and serves you as if you were dining at a michelin star restaurant (the only difference is that you pay him in kisses not cash!) he loves when you sit on stream with him and he loves watching you interact with the fans, asking them questions and passing on their questions to him. fans have made many compilation videos of the two of you and the titles and contents never fail to make you giggle watching them when lando's away and you miss him. "lando and his doberman gf" "golden retriver bf x black cat gf" "lando and his gf being the sun and moon for 10 minutes" lando loves how your lips look when they're smiling and laughing but he also loves how they look wrapped around his fingers as he slowly rolls his hips into you while you whine and moan underneath him. he loves the way they look around his cock and sometimes all you have to do is bite or lick your lips before he's clenching his jaw and closing his eyes, desperately trying to stop himself dragging you off to a quiet corner or his room - he usually fails! lando loves sloppy kisses while he fucks you nice and slow and deep, smirking into the kiss as you let out the most lewd whines and whimpers, drooling and cock drunk. he sometimes gets so turned on that he's begging you to sink to your knees under his desk. he's stopped a stream early before now, just because he couldn't wait any longer!

"hey sugar," you roll your eyes with a smile as lando slides onto the bed next to you, "come here often?" "you're ridiculous," you laugh and shove his arm. he wraps his arms around your waist and rolls onto his back, dragging you with him, "lando!" he cuddles into you, firmly tucking you into his side so you can't escape, "I was looking at an audition!" he sighs, "look later..." you wriggle slightly but he's unrelenting, "you're so needy!" you coo at him and you can practically feel his cheeks heat up, "yeah well... been missing you today..." he mumbles and one of your hands comes up to play with his curls absentmindedly, "ohhh yes please," you snort, "your fans are right, you're literally like a puppy..." he pulls away to look at you, "I'd be a good puppy for you," he says with a wink as you scoff and flick his forehead, "don't be such a whore, babe," "can't help it..." he shrugs, "just gotta look at your pretty lips," his face gets closer to yours and you can feel his breath on your lips, "just one look and I need to feel them."

he's murmuring against your lips at this point and your thighs squeeze together with no warning, he fucking giggles and presses a line of soft kisses along your jaw, teasing you. but you're not in the mood, "lando?" your voice is hushed as you look up at his pretty eyes, watching the way the lust and love he has for you swirl in them, "yes baby?" "kiss me." you don't need to ask him twice, he'll gladly kiss you anytime.

[omegalerc]

this is. beyond sickening.

[earthmoonz]

💘💍

[feddy-34]

[earthmixsclowderofcats]

*starts throwing shit*

These two give me cute aggression So Fucking Bad

[glitchaxolol]

SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP, MY BABY, MY WIFE IS BACK😭🫶

FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH MJF❤️

ALSO, DADDY!? GODDAMN THAT OUTFIT IS HOT ASF!🔥😩😫

SNAPPED SOME PICS BTW, I MISSED PICS OF HIS ENTRANCE THO(😭)

(Max<3)

[silverlining-ships]

THROWS ROCKS AT YOU

[hillbilly-wifey]

a tiny, transparent Max for the dash:)

[tofu-beifong]

i’m married now YIPPEE!!!

[snek-of-eden]

As your wife it is probably expected from me to write "smooch,make out etc." to you for the ask game but im literally the most innocent one saying "hug,pet on the head, give a hair ruffle etc." while others just go like "i want to fuck you" lol

i know, right ?? 😭 i am squinting at them real hard but like.. have at it folks, it ain’t my fault i’m fuckable <3 and yeah darling lmao you’re so innocent with yours but i love it

[stirdrawsandreblaws]

i have so much fun with ffxiv bc like. me and my friends that play have a wol team and we roleplay tons when we're able to all be on at the same time

sure it takes forever to actually progress bc we're all having hours-long scenes after story events to work out the impact on everyone and, in some cases, who was impacted more than the others (like thorgeim being the one who got framed during that one incident, whereas the dragoon wol had a lot of specific stuff during heavensward, etc)

i'm told there's some shit later on that Complicates the wol-team idea but i don't want spoilers and i'm confident we can work it out when we get there so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[omegalerc]

i truly feel soooo terrible for anybody that has to be in a room alone with them like. literally their only concern is about eachother

[earthmoonz]

the cast of wifey so far... (minus a select few)

[chisungie]

mpe ely banner shes so prettyyy 🥺🥺 makes me wanna pull for her despite having her rank maxed and full gear aAAA

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

can I request ‘accidentally calling the other wife/husband’ for lando please 🥹

girlfriend? wife? ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Prompt: 63. accidentally calling the other wife/husband

𓆉 ln x reader 𐙚

𓆉 fluff 𐙚

masterlist ☾☼

1. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧˚.

just as the car reached the hotel, lando immediately held your hand. there were crowds of people on both sides, restricted by a barricade.

"you know what to do, right?" he asked you, softly.

"yes, lovie. we've done this hundreds of times before," you replied, unable to keep the smile hidden.

"i know, i know. i just worry. ever since my tiktok started showing me all those videos of celebrities getting attacked, i've been paranoid,"

"i'm aware. you forget, though, that you're the celebrity,"

lando tsked, "half the time, these people talk to me about you. the only reason they're fans of me is because of you,"

you laughed, and lando opened the door, stepping out. you followed. immediately, you walked inside the hotel with your head down, and watched lando from inside the safety of the hotel.

lando was taking his time and signing whatever was getting shoved in his face, smiling and interacting with a few of the fans as well. he took selfies, marvelled at the nail art that some of them had done, had brief discussions about tattoo designs for the fan. he loved it.

somewhere between the cheers of the fans, lando looked at the hotel entrance, searching for you. when he couldn't see you, he pouted, whispering to himself, "where's my wifey?"

the fans nearby heard him, and began cheering louder. lando's eyes widened as he realised his mistake.

well, fuck.

2. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧˚.

they had another mini break after singapore. the team were all gathered at the mtc, just reviewing the past few races, and discussing what they were planning for the upcoming races.

zak and andrea had given speeches, as were expected, and then oscar and lando were called on stage as well.

oscar gave his speech first, though, it was just him thanking the team, andrea, zak, and lando, and how he was grateful for all their help in hungary and baku especially.

then, it was lando's turn.

"i think, oscar summed it up pretty well, actually. nothing left for me to say."

people laughed.

"um, yeah, no, i'm really thankful for all the hardwork that every person in this room has done. i mean, like oscar said, it wouldn't have been possible with any of y'all. our wins are yours, because really, we just go out and drive. everything else is all you," he said, gesturing to the room full of people.

"and, while i am so happy to be able to work with all of you, i really need to give special mentions to andrea, zak, oscar, jon, my mechanics, my wife-"

the crowd burst out in teasing "ooohs" and lando slapped a hand over his eyes as he laughed.

"we're not married yet. i keep doing that. we're not married yet. besides, when we get married, i'd call all of you. most of you. some. no, all." lando broke off again, as the crowd laughed.

he turned towards his girlfriend, and said, "babe, i've made a commitment now. we gotta have a huge wedding,"

everyone laughed again, including you.

"i'm gonna go bankrupt with so many people at the wedding,"

people continued laughing.

"how about this, the reception would be from mclaren?" zak said, wrapping an arm around lando's shoulders as he laughed.

"oh, how nice of you, zak,"

"no! it's gonna be all papaya! i'm not getting married in papaya colours!" you shouted from the side, smiling.

"huh? it's gonna be all papaya? well, babe, we gotta make sacrifices here," lando said.

the laughs of everyone mixed together, and eventually, lando composed himself enough to continue his speech.

3. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧˚.

max was streaming on twitch. he wasn't doing anything in particular, really. he was just there, chatting with the chat, but mostly talking to lando who was sprawled on the bed behind him.

niran was on his way to max's apartment, and max and lando were just patiently waiting for their friend.

max began reading some of the comments in the chat, and responding, when one of them caught his eye.

"who is lando texting so angrily?" max read out loud. he turned and looked at his friend, who was still quickly typing on his phone.

"mate, who are you texting?" max asked, watching lando's concentrated face.

"the wifey," lando mumbled.

immediately, max turned to the chat and said, "he's not married! he's a dumbass who gets words mixed up! they're still only dating!"

"huh?" lando looked up, confused.

"you called her your wife." max explained.

lando groaned, "it keeps happening, i don't even know why,"

"right, cause that makes so much sense. what are you fighting with her about anyway?" he asked.

lando looked at his friend, confused, "we're not fighting,"

"then why do you look so mad?"

"do i? we were just planning our trip next month, and i was focused on that," lando revealed.

"that makes sense. do y'all fight though?"

lando's attention was back at his phone as he began typing again, "no. i do something stupid, she yells at me, i apologise,"

"what if she does something stupid?" max asked.

lando looked up from his phone, and the two best friends stare at each other for a few seconds before they burst out laughing. lando rolled on the bed as he laughed, and max fell off his chair.

the chat buzzed, trying to figure out what was so funny, but max and lando couldn't stop laughing.

"what if she does something stupid? oh, max, that was the funniest shit you've ever said," lando laughed.

"i knew it the moment i said it," max responded through his laughter.

"the only stupid thing she does is me," lando said, calming down a little.

"oh, for fuck's sake, lando!" max yelled at him, making him dissolve into laughter again.

+

˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧˚.

lando was sweating, his cap on his head was hiding the mess that his curls had become. he ran a hand through his face to wipe off the excess sweat as he paid attention to the question.

"so, lando, first pole position of the season in the very first race. how do you feel about that?" the interviewer asked.

"um, i mean, i feel good about it, obviously. seems like a good start, honestly, and the car is working beautifully, so i have no complaints there. it all just comes down to me, really," he said, grabbing his water bottle.

"that's good to here. do you think you'll be able to win tomorrow?"

"that's- uh, that's hard to say. i mean, we've got competition from both ferraris, and then there's max and george, who are also excellent drivers, so its hard to say. our goal for today was a pole, and our goal for tomorrow is a podium, if not a win,"

"right. and, who do we have with you as a support for the first race of the season?" the interviewer took a lighter tone, and lando immediately smiled.

"i've got my family here, a few of my friends who could come down here, and i've got my girlfriend," he responded.

"that's beauti-"

"no, wait. my wife. my girlfriend. no, my wife, my wife. i've been so used to calling her my girlfriend in public and my wife in my head that i keep getting them mixed up," lando laughed, holding his left hand up where his wedding ring glimmered.

"oh yes! you got married at the start of this year!"

"yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. finally married her, and then got her to sign the license. burned it the next day so there's no way she can divorce me now. we're stuck together for life," lando said, making the interviewer laugh.

"it's a beautiful wedding band," the interviewer complimented.

lando put his hand up again, showing the ring to the camera, "right? she picked it. she has amazing taste in stuff like this, i can't even tell you. she's just perfect, man,"

"alright, well, it's nice to see you in such good spirits! crush it tomorrow, yeah?" the interviewer said.

"for her? anything," lando said, scoffing, as if the mere thought of him not doing anything for his wife was just plain stupid.

the interviewer laughed again, as lando walked away.

𓇼🐚☾☼🦪

honestly, one of my favourite things i've ever written. i hope i've done justice to the prompt, anon! this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :)

taglist: @imlonelydontsendhelp ; @greantii ; @anamiad00msday ; @maketheshadowsfearyou ; @nocturnalherb16 ; @justaf1girl ; @peterholland04

[wethotcrazy]

NEVER GO HUNGRY EVER AGAIN

pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

word count: 1727

hii it's been a while since my last fic and im stll on a high since the abu dabi gp, so heres a cute little lando fic. also just finished my first semester of uni hopefully i can be more active.

The soft glow of the monitors illuminated Lando’s face as he leaned forward, laser-focused on his game. His fingers danced across the controller, jaw set in determination. Voices of his friends buzzed through his headset, a mix of banter, callouts, and the occasional burst of laughter.

“Lando, mate, you’re absolutely throwing right now,” Max’s voice rang out, feigned frustration clear in his tone.

“I’m not throwing! I’m playing the long game,” Lando shot back with a grin, eyes still glued to the screen. “It’s called strategy, ever heard of it?”

“Yeah, the strategy of losing,” Ria quipped, drawing a chorus of laughter from the team.

“Alright, alright, just watch this,” Lando said, leaning even closer to the screen. His tongue poked out in concentration, the telltale sign he was locked in.

Time slipped away unnoticed as he navigated the game’s twists and turns. The familiar rhythm of the stream chat’s messages scrolled rapidly on his second monitor, but he was too deep into the game to glance over. Hours must have passed, but Lando’s mind was too preoccupied to register the growling in his stomach.

Then, a knock.

“One sec,” Lando muttered, sliding one earcup off his head. He glanced toward the door, his brows furrowing in confusion before realization dawned. He leaned back in his chair, eyes softening. “Come in!”

There was a brief sound of shuffling, the slight thud of a hip bumping the door before it slowly creaked open. Y/N stepped in, balancing a plate of food in her hands with the focus of someone carrying a national treasure. The chat’s speed doubled as her side profile came into frame, and messages like "OMG it’s Y/N!" and "Wifey alert 😍" flooded the chat box.

“Brought you dinner,” she said softly, walking toward him with careful steps. The aroma hit him before she even reached his desk, and his heart swelled with warmth.

“Oh, you’re a legend, babe,” Lando said, quickly sitting upright and scooting his chair back to give her space. He took the plate from her, eyes wide with admiration as he gazed at the meal she’d prepared. “This looks amazing.”

“I was worried you’d forget to eat,” she teased, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Her smile was soft but knowing—she’d seen him get lost in games like this before.

Lando’s eyes didn’t leave her face for a second. His gaze flickered to the chat, catching sight of the flood of adoring messages. "The way he’s looking at her, I’m sick 🩸" and "That’s the look of a man in love" filled the stream.

“She’s literally the best ever, chat,” Lando said, his voice warm and unwavering. He reached up with his free hand to gently squeeze Y/N’s wrist before letting her go. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world, I swear.”

“I’ll get you a drink,” Y/N said, already turning to leave. “Wait here.”

“I—” Lando started, but she’d already slipped out of the room. He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head before glancing at the camera. “Chat, I’m telling you, I’ve won the lottery. She’s just…” He trailed off, unable to find a word that felt big enough to encompass it all. “Yeah. She’s perfect.”

“Bro, you’re down so bad,” Max’s voice cackled through the headset. “Not even hiding it anymore.”

“Why would I?” Lando shot back, eyes sparkling with pride. He lifted a piece of the dinner—some kind of stuffed pasta—and popped it into his mouth. His eyes widened as soon as he tasted it. “Okay, wait, hold on.” He covered his mouth as he chewed, glancing at the camera like he’d just uncovered a world-class secret. “This is actually insane. I’m eating like royalty right now.”

“Imagine getting home-cooked meals while streaming. Must be nice,” Ria sighed dramatically.

“Couldn’t be me,” Aaron added with mock bitterness. “I’m over here eating cold leftover pizza like a peasant.”

“Jealousy’s a bad look on you, mate,” Lando grinned, taking another bite. He’d meant to savor it, but he’d already eaten half before he realized it. “Chat, she’s turned into a whole chef since moving in. Two weeks ago she’d barely step into the kitchen, and now look at this. Look at me.” He gestured toward himself with his fork. “I’m living like a king.”

The chat’s pace somehow sped up even more, hearts, fire emojis, and "Y/N for president" messages flooding in.

Y/N returned with a cold drink in hand and set it beside him on the desk. Her eyes darted to the chat for just a moment before glancing at him, eyebrows raised in suspicion. “What did you say?” she asked, hands on her hips.

“Nothing incriminating, I promise,” Lando said, eyes wide with faux innocence. “Only that you’re basically a professional chef now.”

“Mhm. Sure,” she said, rolling her eyes, but the smile on her face gave her away. “Just eat it before it gets cold.”

Lando’s face broke into a grin so wide it crinkled the corners of his eyes. He glanced once more at the chat. "Lando’s done for, he’s a goner," one person wrote, and he had to admit… they weren’t wrong.

He raised his glass to the camera in a mock toast. “To all of you wishing you had what I’ve got,” he said, eyes flicking back to Y/N as she disappeared through the door again, “I’m sorry, but it’s mine. All mine.”

A couple of months into living together, it had become a routine for Y/N to bring Lando food during his streams. It started as a simple act of kindness but quickly became a beloved ritual for both of them — and for Lando’s ever-watchful chat.

Tonight was no different.

Lando’s camera captured him in his element, leaning forward in his chair, controller in hand, eyes narrowed in sharp focus. His headset covered his curls, his tongue poking out at the corner of his mouth in classic 'concentration mode.' On his second monitor, the stream chat moved at lightning speed, viewers spamming “LAN-DOOOO”, “HE’S SWEATING”, and various emotes of fire, skulls, and crying faces.

“Lando, you’re one shot, man,” Max’s voice rang in his ear, sharp with urgency.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah—I got it, I got it,” Lando muttered, hands moving rapidly on the controller. “Just cover me for like... five seconds!”

“Five seconds too many,” Ria chimed in. “I’m not your babysitter, Norris.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Lando quipped, grinning as he slid his character behind cover.

Then, it happened — the knock on the door.

“Yo, hold on. Hold on. One sec,” Lando said, throwing a quick glance at his door. A slow grin crept onto his face as he realized what time it was. “Chat, you know what’s coming,” he said, sliding his chair back.

“It’s timeeee!” one person spammed in the chat.

“WIFEY ALERT 🚨,” another user wrote, followed by a sea of heart emojis.

The door nudged open slowly, and in came Y/N, balancing a plate with one hand and holding a drink in the other. Her expression was one of mock seriousness, eyes narrowed like she was on a high-stakes mission. The second she stepped into frame, the chat went wild.

“SHE’S HEREEEE” “THE QUEEN HAS ARRIVED” “HOLD ON, SHE’S CARRYING SNACKS??” “I’m so single it’s painful”

“Dinner delivery for one Mr. Lando Norris,” Y/N announced, placing the plate in front of him with a flourish like she was a waiter at a five-star restaurant. “Sir, your steak and garlic butter potatoes. Compliments of the chef.”

“Oh, you’re too good to me, babe,” Lando said, eyes wide with dramatic awe. He glanced at the plate like it was a priceless treasure, then looked at the camera, pointing at Y/N. “Chat, look at this. Are you seeing this? Chef Y/N at it again. Tell me I’m not the luckiest guy in the world.”

“You’re not,” Max’s voice cut in, laughing. “I’m still here eating microwave noodles, mate.”

“Skill issue,” Y/N shot back casually, leaning down to glance at Lando’s second monitor. The chat’s speed had tripled. Her lips twitched into a smile. “They’re calling you a simp, by the way.”

“I am a simp,” Lando declared without hesitation, holding a fork like it was a scepter. “And I have no regrets.” He stabbed a piece of steak and stuffed it into his mouth, eyes closing in exaggerated bliss. “Oh, my days. This is illegal. You’re ruining me.”

“Man’s got his priorities right,” Aaron’s voice chimed in through the headset.

Y/N’s laughter bubbled out, light and melodic, and she shook her head. “Don’t choke on it, simp. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” She leaned in and tapped a quick kiss to his cheek, which sent the chat into meltdown.

“CLIP IT, CLIP IT RIGHT NOW” “THE KISS. THE KISS. WE’VE WON.” “I’m crying. They’re so in love it’s disgusting.”

Lando’s cheek flushed pink as he glanced back at the camera, his grin stretching wider than it should. “Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m done for,” he said, rubbing his cheek where her lips had been like he could still feel it. “But you’d be too if you had Y/N bringing you garlic butter potatoes, alright? Don’t be jealous. It’s not a good look.”

“You’re insufferable,” Ria sighed. “But also, I’d like to formally request a plate.”

“Tell Y/N I’ll pay her to ship it to me,” Max added.

“She’s not taking requests,” Lando shot back, grinning like a man with the world’s greatest secret. “This exclusive menu is mine and mine alone.” He held up the plate to the camera, displaying the perfectly cooked steak and crispy golden potatoes. “Look at that. The chat’s in shambles. They’re losing it. I would be too, honestly.”

He glanced toward the door, his grin softening as he caught sight of Y/N’s figure passing by in the hallway. “Yeah,” he muttered to himself, eyes trailing her for a moment longer before turning back to the camera. “I’m absolutely done for.”

“Somebody save this man,” Aaron’s voice cackled, but Lando didn’t even hear it.

“Don’t want to be saved, mate,” Lando said, mouth full of potatoes. He raised his glass toward the camera like he’d done a hundred times before. “Cheers to being a simp, yeah? I’ll happily stay down bad forever.”