#master in History.....knows dick all of shit

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

A big hug....

(gonna wanna kiss gonna wanna kiss)

It is internationally known what 6 months of buildup does. What does 25% of that at a few decades of expanding interest

I haven't really tasted you since 1985. That needs to end.

[kittyilana046]

THE DC UNIVERSE MASTERLIST - BATFAMILY EDITION

TTHE BATFAMILY MASTERLIST

Started: 12/18/2020

Last Updated: 12/29/2022

This master list is a collection of analysis essays, headcanons, and comic book panels posted by my favorite bloggers. I did not write any of the posts linked below, and I do not own any pictures used. All credit goes to the original artists and bloggers who created this content. 

I created this master list intending to archive my favorite posts. I am sharing it because I believe this list is a perfect jumping-off point for new fans who want a comprehensive guide to understanding these characters.

I encourage you to interact with original bloggers and also comic canon. 

Please send me an ask or DM if you want to talk about comic books.

Thank you 

~ Haleigh 

Links

DC UNIVERSE MASTERLIST

META / ESSAYS

Batman (Bruce Wayne)

Bruce Wayne outside of Batman

Bruce firing Dick vs. Dick firing Tim

Bruce Wayne’s childhood + a short analysis his relationship with Alfred Pennyworth

Do Bruce and Selina truly love each other?

Does Bruce love Damian?

Did Bruce love Jason?

Is Bruce a good dad?

Is Bruce nice?

Jason was Bruce’s beloved son and DC’s writers are doing shit.

Tips for writing Bruce Wayne

Batgirl (Barbra Gordon)

Thoughts on Barbra’s independence and how it affects her relationship with Dick

Batgirl/Black Bat/Orphan (Casandra Cain)

Does Casandra know ASL?

How does Casandra process anger?

Huntress (Helena Bertinelli)

Helena’s relationship with Tim Drake

Nightwing (Dick Grayson)

Dick Grayson’s moral compass + how Bruce’s expectations shaped him

Dick Grayson’s strengths and weaknesses  

Dick Grayson’s guilt complex

Dick Grayson and Temper

Dick Grayson and fashion trends

Dick, you’re so spoiled (Discussing and his relationship with money)

Do Dick and Jason get along in comics?

DICK I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU GRAYSON

DICK GRAYSON AND ALFRED PENNYWORTH’S RELATIONSHIP META

Do Dick Grayson and Roy Harper have commitment issues?

Does Dick Grayson wear a metaphorical mask like Bruce Wayne does? 

Objectification or Empowerment: how writers express Dick Grayson’s sexuality

Superman and Dick Grayson’s first meeting

What is Dick Grayson’s ethnicity?

Robin (Damian Wayne)

Do you guys ever think about how much of a crappy life Damian has been having since Rebirth? Because I do.

Is Damian sexist?

Proof Damian has a heart p1

Things I Wish Writers Would Explore More with Damian

Red Hood (Jason Todd)

Jason’s time as Robin

Jason Todd’s less known skills appreciation

Jay and Dick are musicians? What do they play?

Jason Todd and the Ladies: Post-Resurrection

Recontextualizing the death of Filipe Garzonas

The Jason Todd Book Club (books that Jason has mentioned in canon)

What kind of father was Willis Todd?

Where did Jason get his Respect Women Juice?

Red Robin (Tim Drake)

Does Tim Drake conically suffer from depression?  

How did Tim Drake’s trauma affect him?

Is Tim Drake insecure?

Is Tim Drake sexist?

I wanna talk about Janet Drake

Tim Drake’s childhood

The beginning of Tim Drake’s career as Robin

Was Tim Drake born a genius?

Was Tim Drake the CEO of Wayne Enterprises? What was his job at W.E.? Did he like it?

Your Tim Drake coffee headcanon is whack

Spoiler (Stephanie Brown)

How did the batfam react to Stephanie’s death?

What is the canon surrounding Stephanie’s economic status?

The Signal (Duke Thomas)

Duke is not a boring character – Here are some of his achievements

Duke thomas isn’t the sane one! A guide by pepper

Who is Duke Thomas?

MORE INFO HERE!

CANON VS. FANON

Batfamily canon things that we should not let fall into obscurity

Characterization cheat sheet: the batfamily boys

The Batkids views on money

What are in your opinion the biggest difference between the comic and the fanon versions of the other Batfamily members?

THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

The history of the “Robin” title

The ages of the Batfamily kids according to Secret Files timelines

What are the Batkids legal names/adoption status?

HEADCANON

How would the Batfamily comfort someone who's sad? 

Is Dick Grayson demisexual?

Is Dick Grayson a romantic?

Dick Grayson and Kids

Would Bruce Wayne be a good boyfriend?

What would Bruce be like if his parents never died?

What should happen after the Ric Grayson arc ends?

What hogwarts house would jason todd be in?

Where would you sort the Batfamily?

THE ROBIN'S RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER

All Robins are great and they all bring something to the table

Advice on how to write Damian and Tim brother dynamic

Damian & Dick: analyzing their relationship

Another analysis of Dick and Damian’s relationship

Do you think Dick and Damian have a brotherly relationship?

The Batboys calling each other brother

Where does the “little wing” nickname come from?

COMIC PANELS

Batman (Bruce Wayne) 

Batman #42 by Tom King and Mikel Janin (Bruce and Selina get captured)

Batman being a Batdad to his Batprincess

Banana Muffin is Superman and Batman’s safeword

Batman & Robin Eternal #22 (Bruce being kind to Damian)

Detective Comics (2016-) #1017

Gotham Knights #11 (“I am a model of mental health”)

How Bruce deals with trauma

Injustice 2 #51 -”Have you tried turning it on an off again?”

“My favorite superhero is Superman” “…He’s my favorite, too”

Robin (Damian Wayne)

Deathstroke #5 - “Mirrors” (2016) (Damian taunting Deathstroke)

Damian talks a lot in front of his favorite people

Injustice 2 #8 (Proof Damian has a heart p2)

Robin Son of Batman 011 (Damian being done with Bruce and Talia)

The Shadow/Batman #3 (Ra's al Ghul threatening Damian)

Super-Sons My Best Friend

Nightwing (Dick Grayson)

Everyone loves Dick Grayson

Dick beating up Bruce compilation

Dick is that type of brother…

Dick you whore

Dick imitating a crowbar

Unpublished pages of Nightwing #30

Red Hood (Jason Todd)

Batman: Urban Legends - “Cheer II” (2021)

Detective Comics (2016) #976 (Jason standing up to the Batfamily)

Robin 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1 - “More Time” (2020)

Red Hood and The Outlaws (2016) #52

Red Robin (Tim Drake)

Tim and Dick talking: A Compilation

[hii-theree]

if you haven't already been asked for the WIP game, talk to me about Rough Callouses and Sharp Claws

Hi! So, chapter 10 has been giving me a hard time, but I should have it ready by this week!!

Here a tiny sneak peak in the meantime though :) (still under editing ofc)

Jason really didn’t want to be here right now, but it wasn’t often that Bruce told everyone to come to the manor as soon as possible, so he figured it was important. 

Jason, Bruce, Alfred, Damian, Tim, and Barbara were all grouped up in the batcave. There was one person missing–arguably the most important person. The one who held them all together.

“Richard came to see you earlier, I heard,” Damian mentioned first, his eyebrows drawn together. “What’s happened? Where is he?”

“I’m sure you’ve all seen the news by now,” Bruce said with a sigh. Jeez, he looked terrible.

Tim nodded. “Yeah, my eyes could use some bleach after seeing . . . that.” Damian scrunched his face in confusion. “What news?”

“Oh,” Tim said in realization. He looked at Bruce and Alfred for answers. “You guys didn’t tell him?”

“Master Bruce has insisted that we tell Master Damian together,” Alfred said curtly. He gave Bruce a venomous side-eyed glance. 

Oh, shit. How’d Bruce fuck up this time? 

Jason wasn’t in the mood for dramatics. Blatantly, he said, “Goldie got caught making out with Slade Wilson.”

“Jason,” multiple people groaned at once. 

Jason shrugged. “There’s no point in beating around the bush.”

Damian’s posture stiffened. He surveyed the reactions of everyone in the room, likely looking for evidence of this being a joke, but finding none. His upper lip curled. “Who came up with this ridiculous lie? Surely you all aren’t really this gullible.”

Tim cracked a smile to say, “You can look at the pictures if you want proof. I wouldn’t recommend it, though, if you ever want to look at Dick the same way again.”

“It’s fabricated,” Damian dismissed with certainty. The brat hadn’t even seen the damn image yet. 

“It’s not,” Barbara cut in. “Believe me, I checked.”

“The reason I called you all here,” Bruce said, “is because we all know about Dick’s troubling history with Slade. The man has always had an obsession with Dick. I don’t know for how long, but now it appears he’s had a sexual interest, as well.” The energy in the room grew tense. “It’s been over a month since Dick was first held hostage in the Museum of Ancient Antiques and he has spent almost every day since then with Slade. Now something happened during that time period to make Dick gain romantic feelings for Slade, and I don’t think it was pretty, considering the multiple reports front the hostages of the torture Slade inflected onto Dick.”

[duchess-of-oldtown]

House of the Dragon, Season 2, Episode 3 thoughts

Just clarifying, these are my own thoughts, you don't like them, don't bother telling me so. Also, I'm not a book purist, I like adaptions taking putting their own spin on things - if it makes sense to do so. So, here were my thoughts. Obvs, this post is dark and full of spoilers.

I like the Bracken-Blackwood thing. I like the injection of a little bit of history but also like pettiness.

Jace, get out of your mother's ear. Can you even tell which one is Arryk or Erryk?

Rhaenys giving us slay as usual. Eve Best really gets the greatest lines.

I really like Criston Cole's squire. I don't know, he reminds me of Pod.

Criston pulling that managers face right there. We've all been on both sides of that.

Ironrod, they could never make me hate you. Master of Shade

Tyland stop bullying the Grand Master.

Harrenhal is giving all these guys a hard on. It's not even that nice a castle (before yall come for me, I know it's importance)

Aemond teasing Aegon at the Council, that younger sibling grin

Mysaria's gown looks so comfy. Her scenes are alright, better than before

Rhaenyra vs Mysaria has to get away from the whole Daemon thing. That vibe is still there and it gives me two exes sniping at one another.

I get Rhaena's annoyance but it's also an opportunity.

The Harrenhal scenes were perfect. The ambience, the setting it's all *chef kiss*.

I hate the whole Prince Consort vs King thing. For one, it's completely against etiquette and the rules but also in the book, Daemon never needed to be King, he was supporting his Queen.

There's Alys.

Daemon "I'm claiming harrenhal". Yes, girl we see

Simon I give you this castle, also dinner is on the table, it's not great but it's good" Strong, you were the best thing in this episide. " Also, this exchange feels written by George RR Martin.

Grover Tully is getting it tonight

Daemon defending an ill lord paramount's abilities, he's thinking of Viserys

Gwayne Hightower, you're giving me Harry Hardying had a baby with Alfie Allen vibes

Cole's hair... I don't know how to feel.

Alicole doing the whole courtly love shit, as if Cole wasn't on his knees that morning. She pegs him, Your Honour

I need whiter Kingsguard Cloaks.

If they fucking mansplain, ridicule or correct Rhaenyra one more time, I fucking Harrenhal them. Who the fuck are these men?

Rhaenys, eating as usual, mic drop

Rhaenys and Corlys, I know they're setting us up for what happens, but *mournful screaming*. She's standing on a little crate 😭 Corlys beefing with baby Joffrey. Corlys grabbing his lady's hips while talking about heirs is my new roman empire

Let me see Stormcloud and Tyraxes

I wanted a little more conflict with Baela and Rhaena. But Baela assuring her is top tier.

Joffrey with his mummy 😭😭😭 Jace too. It's the last time Rhaenyra will see Viserys.

Helaena's speech, I think I know what's about to happen there. The families of the rat catchers + that riot. Also Helaena isn't forgiving Alicent for Cole, she's forgiving her for the war

Aegon looks so lil in his armour.

DID THEY SAY THE ARMOUR WAS VALYRIAN STEEL? MOTHERFUCKERS

Kingslanders partying as only Kingslanders can

Ulf the White's scenes are good but Baelon the Brave? You want me to believe that Baelon the Brave cheated on Alyssa?

I did not need to see Aemond's dick. Aemond you should be out committing atrocities not getting it wet

FUCK HIM UP MOONDANCER, FUCK HIM UP

Also Baela the trees are flammable.

Daemon take Dark Sister out of there it's too damp for her

YOUNG RHAENYRA - this is how guest stars should appear, with no warning and with the actors swearing they aren't ever coming back.

Also, Alys is American?

Rhaenyra slaying in her Septa Unella cos play. I wonder whether that's the same wimple

I loved the Rhaenyra and Alicent exchange but it was still such a dumb idea. This exchange is heartbreaking, there are parts that feel sitcomy and I love it.

Rhaenyra's lil face when she thought Viserys changed his mind

Alicent's lil... "oh Aegon the Conqueror... '

Over all 9/10

[weebsinstash]

So hey while we're talking about overbearing yandere figures that may either be romantic or platonic or even parental based on your preference, you wanna know who would REALLY be impossible to escape from? Bruce Wayne

He's literally already got like what, 6 or 7 kids he's adopted and taken under his wing for varying reasons, his own little Batfamily living with him in his house as he works through varying types and levels of trauma. God forbid you meet him in some sort of "your parents were murdered and you're basically another Robin he adopted" scenario because i imagine he never. Let's you really age out of that. Like you may stop being a sidekick and a crime fighter but like, leaving the Manor, the family, him? That's too dangerous. What if an old nemesis of yours comes back, or someone targets you to get to him? It's safer if you stay home and all your siblings just care for you so much 🥺

You just get absolutely NO privacy because you know that entire mansion is just bugged literally everywhere, you're in your room on your phone browsing the web, fucking Bruce is down in the cave on the Batcomputer watching your browsing history (and god imagine if he even, like, imposes some basic ass borderline purity culture kind of shit on you and keeps you away from like, adult stuff, or really just anything he thinks will be a bad influence)

You somehow manage to slip away from him (already unlikely) and he probably has you or a possession of yours microchipped. And then there's a matter of not just having to slip away from him, but also Dick, Barbara, fuck you think JASON is going to watch you set out on those harsh streets? Alfred alone can put your ass in some kind of time out, that special Pennyworth sleepy time tea he likes to give you for anxiety is a lil too sleepy if you kwim. Bruce and the rest are off doing hero shit that you refuse to do anymore "because that's gay, you guys cripple people for stealing from the gas station, what does your moral absolutism actually accomplish if you actively facilitate half the crimes you 'solve'" and you're just like chilling with Alfred at the dinner table and you look up, "I think I want to get a job and move out" and he's lending you an ear and some dry wit and advice while you two drink tea and before you know it he's practically got to catch your forehead from slamming against the table, you pass out so hard, and then there's oh so loyal Alfred on the phone, "Master Wayne, I believe there's a certain talking-to that needs to be had whenever you return to the manor--"

I just can't even imagine the scope of surveillance you would be under after earning a spot in the heart of the world's greatest detective like, arguably the most GOATed member of the Justice League and he isn't even fucking magic. And you finally get away from him, the Batfamily, all of em, and you know who you get to deal with THEN? His buddy Clark. Have fun so much as hiding in a building or wearing a disguise from the fucking alien with XRAY VISION who can "fly faster than a speeding bullet", who can basically think and process thoughts as equally fast

And also just, lmaoooo good luck having sex or bringing a boy or someone home when you have like 4 protective brothers, a loyal hound, like 3 sisters, a stepmom, two of them if Selina is over, a borderline black ops butler, and the unhinged controlling billionaire orphan who binds them all together

[drhu0806]

Book recommendation tag game

rules: recommend as many books as you like. please include genre and some basic information on it (either your words or a copy+paste synopsis). feel free to include cover art, a personal review, trigger warnings, and anything else! just don’t spoil the book!

Tagged by the lovely @southernreaches <3

And because this got long to where I felt I need a read more, I'll tag other people up here: @portman-natalie, @bluvixen

The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee

Genre: nonfiction

Physician, researcher, and award-winning science writer, Siddhartha Mukherjee examines cancer with a cellular biologist’s precision, a historian’s perspective, and a biographer’s passion. The result is an astonishingly lucid and eloquent chronicle of a disease humans have lived with—and perished from—for more than five thousand years. The story of cancer is a story of human ingenuity, resilience, and perseverance, but also of hubris, paternalism, and misperception. Mukherjee recounts centuries of discoveries, setbacks, victories, and deaths, told through the eyes of his predecessors and peers, training their wits against an infinitely resourceful adversary that, just three decades ago, was thought to be easily vanquished in an all-out “war against cancer.” The book reads like a literary thriller with cancer as the protagonist.

One of my favorite books, and I just remembered I've been meaning to get a physical copy for years now. There's something really moving about the way the author tells how cancer is so inexplicably tied with human history - don't get me wrong, cancer is still shit, but something about the book made it a little less scary in a, "Ah I think I understand you a little better now" kind of way

Bitter Medicine by Mia Tsai

Genre: romance, urban fantasy

As a descendant of the Chinese god of medicine, ignored middle child Elle was destined to be a doctor. Instead, she is underemployed as a mediocre magical calligrapher at the fairy temp agency, paranoid that her murderous younger brother will find her and their elder brother. Using her full abilities will expose Elle’s location. Nevertheless, she challenges herself by covertly outfitting Luc, her client and crush, with high-powered glyphs. Half-elf Luc, the agency’s top security expert, has his own secret: he’s responsible for a curse laid on two children from an old assignment. To heal them, he’ll need to perform his job duties with unrelenting excellence and earn time off from his tyrannical boss. When Elle saves Luc’s life on a mission, he brings her a gift and a request for stronger magic to ensure success on the next job—except the next job is hunting down Elle’s younger brother. As Luc and Elle collaborate, their chemistry blooms. Happiness, for once, is an option for them both. But Elle is loyal to her family, and Luc is bound by his true name. To win freedom from duty, they must make unexpected sacrifices.

I have to plug this. I have loved Mia's writing for years and I will not stop now. This book has everything I love: calligraphy-based magic system, beautiful romance, dick jokes, extremely accurate to the point that I'm almost uncomfortable lens into Chinese family culture to the point where there were times I had to put the book down and stare at a wall. Also Tony. I will never stop loving Tony.

A Magic Steeped in Poison by Judy I. Lin

Genre: fantasy, romance

For Ning, the only thing worse than losing her mother is knowing that it's her own fault. She was the one who unknowingly brewed the poison tea that killed her—the poison tea that now threatens to also take her sister, Shu. When Ning hears of a competition to find the kingdom's greatest shennong-shi—masters of the ancient and magical art of tea-making—she travels to the imperial city to compete. The winner will receive a favor from the princess, which may be Ning's only chance to save her sister's life. But between the backstabbing competitors, bloody court politics, and a mysterious (and handsome) boy with a shocking secret, Ning might actually be the one in more danger.

TEA MAGIC!! TEA MAGIC!!!!! TEA MAGIC!!! This book has wonderful worldbuilding that really brought back nostalgia from my childhood watching wuxia and xianxia dramas.

Zachary Ying and the Dragon Emperor by Xiran Jay Zhao

Genre: fantasy/urban fantasy

Zachary Ying never had many opportunities to learn about his Chinese heritage. His single mom was busy enough making sure they got by, and his schools never taught anything except Western history and myths. So Zack is woefully unprepared when he discovers he was born to host the spirit of the First Emperor of China for a vital mission: sealing the leaking portal to the Chinese underworld before the upcoming Ghost Month blows it wide open. The mission takes an immediate wrong turn when the First Emperor botches his attempt to possess Zack’s body and binds to Zack’s AR gaming headset instead, leading to a battle where Zack’s mom’s soul gets taken by demons. Now, with one of history’s most infamous tyrants yapping in his headset, Zack must journey across China to heist magical artifacts and defeat figures from history and myth, all while learning to wield the emperor’s incredible water dragon powers. And if Zack can’t finish the mission in time, the spirits of the underworld will flood into the mortal realm, and he could lose his mom forever.

I know they're more well known for Iron Widow but Xiran's Zachary Ying series (I think they have a sequel planned, dear God I hope that's the case) but I have to show some love to their other series that I don't think gets nearly the attention it deserves; it really tickles my urban fantasy bone AND my wish to see more Chinese mythology incorporated in modern fiction. I absolutely hate (read: love) how relatable Zach is for me and my experiences personally!!! 10/10 for being @'ed, would read again.

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford

Genre: historical fiction, romance(kinda)

In 1986, Henry Lee joins a crowd outside the Panama Hotel, once the gateway to Seattle's Japantown. It has been boarded up for decades, but now the new owner has discovered the belongings of Japanese families who were sent to internment camps during World War II. As the owner displays and unfurls a Japanese parasol, Henry, a Chinese American, remembers a young Japanese American girl from his childhood in the 1940s—Keiko Okabe, with whom he forged a bond of friendship and innocent love that transcended the prejudices of their Old World ancestors. After Keiko and her family were evacuated to the internment camps, she and Henry could only hope that their promise to each other would be kept. Now, forty years later, Henry explores the hotel's basement for the Okabe family's belongings and for a long-lost object whose value he cannot even begin to measure. His search will take him on a journey to revisit the sacrifices he has made for family, for love, for country.

This one is very near and dear to my heart due to its setting and certain parts of its subject matter (a Chinese lead in a book published in 2009??? A rare find for me lol). The title is exactly what you get: so bittersweet, with an ending that made me want to cry.

[nintendoduo]

Playing the Super Nintendo's Forgotten Home-Made RPGs of the '90s (Part 2)

Continuing our look at that brief period in human history when people were creating RPG Maker games on the SNES and posting them to the ancient internet (1998-1998). So far, we've seen four-armed gangstas, a turd-infested dungeon, characters randomly disappearing or turning into other characters, and so, so many instances of the words "talk to the king." Check out Part 1 here or over at Dreamwidth, because Tumblr has been a dick about letting logged-out people read posts lately.

Note: These games can be downloaded at archive.org or rmarchiv.de (or archive.org's archived version of rmarchiv.de, if it goes offline again).

"Ductarr: The Rise of Rebellion" by j0e f0lts (05-20-1998)

Original description: The young mage Eoj Stole tries to recover clues to his fathers mysterious death that leads to a global adventure.

This one has an opening text crawl! Fancy. Sure, two out of the five words in the title are misspelled, but the effort is appreciated.

Sadly, the main character isn't a problematic music conductor named Lydia Ducktár but a guy by the equally bizarre name of Eoj Stole. Eoj is a "troubled young mage" who enjoys standing on tall mountains and taking psychedelic drugs, based on the trippy light show that ensues after the intro crawl is over.

We're told that Eoj is thinking back to "the events that took place just days ago." Then he says "It all began when I was only 8 years old." Does that mean he was only 8 years old a few days ago? Is this another game starring a swole adult-sized little kid? Either way, we then flash back to little Eoj being late to some sort of church event, but can you blame him? He's 8!

Then we find out that the thing he's late for is his dad's funeral. So yes, you can and should blame him.

(Is the mom sobbing or insulting her son/herself?)

The priest says that Eoj's dad was "a master of the magic arts," but evidently not that much of a master if he's dead now. After lots of singing in another language (meaning a single caption that says "lots of singing in another language") the priest abruptly announces that the funeral is over. He probably needed the church for bingo night or something.

We cut to ten years later, when Eoj has just turned 18. His mom celebrates this important milestone by kicking him out of the house as soon as he wakes up.

But don't worry: you can still sleep in your old room... if you pay your mom, because she spent no time in turning that shit into an Airbnb.

"Resting is important! But you know what's even more important? Paying up, motherfucker."

Your mom is at least kind enough to let you ransack the treasure chests in the basement before you leave. She also tells you to "go visit your father," which could be a polite way of telling you to go to hell. If you take that in a more literal sense and stop by your dad's tomb, your clumsy ass somehow causes the hilt of his sword to fall off and you notice a letter inside. The letter reads:

(Note that there's no closing quote mark, which means that technically all of the rest of the text in this game is part of the letter.)

Eoj takes these semi-nonsensical words to mean that there might be a clue to his dad's mysterious death at a place called Moi Island, so he decides to head there. He also decides to steal his dead dad's sword, possibly so that his mom won't notice he broke it and charge him for it. You get to try out the broken sword pretty fast, since as soon as you step out of the safety of Eoj's town, you're attacked by adult mutant warrior dogs. Luckily, they may look intimidating but they only deal 2 damage, the puny little bitches.

Getting to Moi Island involves going through a place called "Slime Cave," which is full of treasure chests. Treasure chests... full of slime? Nope, some are empty but others actually have useful items and money in them, which is a nice surprise (unless you're a big slime enthusiast). After exploring for a bit, you come across a blue M&M-looking creature called "Meanie" sitting on a throne, who immediately proves his name right by delivering a Tarzan-like death threat:

You're then thrown into a fight you can't back out from. If you defeat the Blue Meanie (don't let the Beatles' lawyers hear about this game), he says "You no more treasure! Unn......." and disappears, as does every single treasure chest in the cave, including the ones you haven't gotten to. Hope there wasn't anything important there! Apparently, the correct course of action was to ignore the blue blob sitting on a throne and just continue pillaging the chests.

Next, you take the stairs to exit the cave, only to realize that you've exited the game itself too, since this is the end of the demo. And we never even met Duck Tár (woo-oo).

A final message from the developer prompts us to check the KanjiHack website for the finished version of the game (just checked; still nothing) and asks that you "E MAIL ME AT THERE PAGE W/FEEDBACK." He also informs us that "THIS IS MADE BY JOE YOU CAN NOT USE THIS WITH OUT MY PERMISSION." Uh, please don't sue us for screenshotting your game 26 years in the future, Joe.

"Evilion" by Shadowtext (05-21-1998)

Original description: Two young people set off to restore peace to the world.

You start with two characters in the middle of a map, right next to a castle. Hmm, wonder what you're supposed to do in there.

It was "talk to the king"! Never could have guessed it. Once you do so, he asks you "How fared your adventure?" What adventure?! We just started playing. Your character, Karel, replies that monsters are planning to "destroy everything," which in the king's opinion is "terrible news!" He commands you and your friend, Ochal, to go to a place in the south called Oderell. Guess the king also had to go somewhere really bad, because as soon as he finishes saying that, he vanishes. (That, or this is a Tyler Durden-type situation and you were talking to yourself.)

If you head south from the castle, you run into a town called Ojarel. You might think that the dev forgot how to spell "Oderell," but no: if you talk to one of the town's residents, he tells you that Oderell is to the west. So, you go to the town's west exit and...

...oh, whoops, that's not an exit, is just a dead end, haha. Okay, let's go out the way we came in. Except...

...that's a dead end now, too. So is the town's only other exit-looking path. It's at this point that you notice that every shop in this town is eerily empty. I-Is this some sort of psychological horror game?

Other than the guy who gives you directions, the only other residents in the town are a little girl who tells you she owns the forest and a woman who claims that "even though our town is small, we are happy." They are both exactly as convincing.

"And now you'll be happy too. Forever."

The only way to exit the exit-less town is to abort this cursed timeline and go back to an earlier save state (good thing you've probably saved like twenty times in these 5 minutes of gameplay because this game tends to crash a lot during enemy encounters). Doing so lets you reach a town to the west that's probably Oderell, but we don't know for sure due to the shocking lack of signage in this kingdom.

Oderell has 66.6% as many residents as Ojarel, meaning two people: a guy who tells you about "five magi" who defeated the "evil horde" that once attacked this town (unrelated to the evil horde promised at the start of the game, which hasn't shown up yet) and another guy who promises to sail you anywhere if you defeat "the monster in the sea." That monster turns out to be a dragon called "Serpent," who has insta-kill attacks and seems unbeatable unless you're cheating by using dev mode to deal 9999 damage each time. Good thing you're doing that, then.

After defeating the dragon/serpent, a text box tells you that "Ochal and Karal faint in the crashing sea" and everything goes black. Apparently the excitement of defeating their first boss was too much for them and they died on the spot anyway. There's no "END OF DEMO" or implied threats of legal action in this one, just an empty void at the end of it all, so in that sense this is the most realistic game so far. At least the next game couldn't possibly be lazier than this one.

"Alamar" by Tim Maj (05-22-1998)

Original description: A boy sets out on a mysterious quest to destroy evil and avenge his parents with a magical sword.

This one drops you in the middle of a castle, with no preambles or explanation, and trusts that you'll find your way to talk to the king without any hand-holding. It's always nice when a game respects your intelligence like that. So you walk up to the king and... oh.

No king. No gods either, presumably. No nothing, in fact, because this whole castle's empty and there are no exits, again. There's nothing to do in this game... unless you reset it and load the mysterious save file that comes included with it, which spawns you outside the castle with no doors. Can you guess what's out there?

If you guessed "more nothing," you are correct. Just empty fields with no towns or even a single dog person to beat up. Peeking under the hood reveals that the dev spent some time making attacks and spells, but no time whatsoever placing enemies to use them on. Does this qualify as an early example of one of those artsy "walking simulator" games where nothing happens? You were ahead of your time, Tim Maj.

"The Dragoner" by Wing (05-24-1998)

Original description: A knight embarks on a quest to reclaim the world for humans.

You start next to two guards who call you "captain" and wish you a good day. At this point in the game it's fun to go back and forth between the two, imagining they're getting louder and louder each time to try to out-"good day" the other.

That door up there leads to the interior of the castle, most of which seems to be off-limits to you. If you try to go through any more doors, you're emphatically informed that there's "no enterance" because they lead to the king and princess' rooms and they are "pravate." How are you supposed to go talk to the king if you can't even see him?!

What you can do is go down some stairs, which leads to a hall where you meet... the king? Wasn't he just yelling at you from his room? Does he have a slide pole in there leading directly to the throne?

The king tells you that "this city was built on an island in the center of the world," which suggests that he had his door locked because he was getting baked. There used to be a portal connecting the city to the rest of the world, the king claims, but it was sealed off when said world was destroyed by "an evil sprite." Now that portal has become un-sealed, for some reason, but fear not: the king already sent Jenny the Sorceress to find the cause of this "anomany."

(Obviously that's a misspelling of "anomancy," meaning the art of reading one's future via the wrinkles in your butthole.)

The king sends you off to find Jenny and help her in her mission. Before that, you can stop by the shop outside the castle and buy weapons from a guy named Raymond, who assures you that he only sells "good weapons, unlike Tony." You could technically buy weapons from Tony, too, if for some reason you like owning dogshit weapons.

Since you can't afford Raymond's weapons at this point, you elect to go fight monsters with your bare hands rather than bear the social stigma of using Tony weapons. Oh, you can also stop by the "discount store," but before you can even browse, the attendant tells you "Umm... you can't afford to buy anything." Some discount store.

Having stocked up (on nothing), you can go to that portal the king mentioned, where you meet the good sprite Cathine, who seems to be a sort of door lady or bouncer for this mystical pathway. Before letting you go through the portal, Cathine tells you, unprompted, that "only the dragon and its rider can save the world" and that "you are the dragoner." Based on your reaction, this is all news to you.

Cathine gives you a key and tells you to "go search for the dragon" so that "one day, the earth will be alive again!" If you have no clue WTF any of that means, don't worry, neither does your character.

Cathine vanishes without really explaining much. With nothing else to do, you go through the damn portal, at last, and reach... another empty field with no enemies and nothing to do. Wait, is this a crossover with the previous game?

Alternatively, you can take this to mean that Jenny the Sorceress destroyed all the monsters and brought peace to the land while you were busy not buying weapons and talking to possibly high people. Mission accomplished!

That's it for Part 2 of this series. Coming in Part 3: games that actually take more than 5 minutes to play through! (In fact, we had to stop here because the next one requires more screenshots than Tumblr will allow in this post.)

[eriquin]

The Trolley Problem, part 15

Lots of exposition of how Steve continues to prepare for the fateful weekend.

(master post)

Part 15

School was still a drudge, made even more so because he was getting so close to what was coming. Steve couldn’t even skip, because he couldn’t risk his parents finding out about it and delaying their trip. He needed them to be gone because he had to plan further than just keeping Will from being kidnapped. If Will didn’t go missing, then his friends wouldn’t go looking for him, and then no one would find El. It would be up to Steve to do that, and all he knew was that he had to keep an eye out for rain, but at least he could handle that alone. The bigger hurdle was keeping her safe without alerting the lab. He could hide her at his house, but only if his parents weren’t there. 

So he kept his head down. His mom thought it was odd that he didn’t go to any Halloween parties, but he explained that away as it being on Monday, the worst day to have Halloween. She handed out candy while he stayed upstairs. A couple of people tried to invite him to parties on the weekend, but he brushed them off. His homework didn’t take much effort, as he remembered enough about junior year to answer it all despite zoning out in class. 

When people started acting weird about him being quiet, he spoke up just enough to show that he was still paying attention, even though he wasn’t. He was still banking on his memory of the gossip chain, and it turned out to be spot on. He didn’t even have to remember the specific details. Once he got the start of the story, his mind filled in the rest. He’d always been good at keeping track of all the school’s social drama.

The bittersweet highlight of his week was history class with Robin. He'd been trying to be nicer to her, even if it just meant keeping the stupid questions to a minimum and not bringing in a bagel for breakfast. He couldn't tell if she noticed. He tried to talk to her one more time to ask her a question about the homework, but she froze up and only gave him one-word answers, so he gave up.

One of the biggest time sinks was the basketball team, which was starting regular practices. He skipped out on as much as he reasonably could without drawing the coach’s wrath. The first time around, he’d been much more enthusiastic. There was a chance of him making captain, and, in hindsight, he’d been pretty arrogant about it. This time, tried to keep those thoughts to himself. He was playing well, and it helped that he had a better read on how the team got along. Patrick McKinney was already on the team. Steve barely remembered him personally, but he did remember how Lucas had talked about him, so he singled him out with praise for a good pass. Patrick looked surprised and happy about it, and Jason chimed in with his own encouragement. It felt like paying him back for something he’d never done. Steve tried not to think about it so hard.

Eddie left him a note in his locker about the book. It was kind of an apology for trying to co-opt the idea, and Steve felt bad about the whole thing. He went out of his way to find Eddie between classes, which was immediately met by a bewildered look from the other boy. He shooed his friends away before herding Steve into a sheltered corner of the hallway near the shop classes. There weren’t many people around.

“Look, Harrington,” Eddie said, sounding nervous. “You don’t have to talk to me at school. I know we’re on totally different social strata over here.”

“I don’t give a shit about that,” Steve said. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, I just... I didn’t mean to be so harsh about the whole ‘using my idea’ thing. You were a lot of help working out the ideas, and it was a shitty way for me to react.”

Eddie blinked a few times and swayed back. “Wait, are you apologizing to me?”  

“Yeah? I mean, yeah. Sorry about being a dick.” 

Eddie turned away and covered his mouth. He looked up and down the hallway. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “You’re not... You weren’t being a dick, Harrington. It’s absolutely reasonable for you to be defensive of your ideas. You get that, right? Tell me you get that. I don’t—”

“I could’ve been nicer about it, though.” 

This made Eddie clasp his hands together and look up at the ceiling, almost like he was praying. His face was frustrated, though. “I swear, the longer I talk to you, the more I question my own sanity. Harrington,” he said, grasping Steve by the shoulders, “we’re good. It’s all fine. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Steve said.

“Great. Now leave me the hell alone at school. I have a reputation to uphold.” 

Steve grinned. “So I’m not welcome at Hellfire?” 

Eddie’s eyes bugged out a little. “That’s a joke, right?”

“Yeah, man, I’m fucking with you.” Steve grinned and ruffled his hair.

Eddie relaxed a little. “Oh, thank God.” He batted Steve’s hand away and waved him off, heading down the hall to join his friends. Steve heard him yell something about being freaks before they were out of earshot. He sighed and wandered back towards class, trying to figure out if he’d ever actually made friends without there being a real-life horror movie situation involved. Maybe if he got past this crisis, he could figure that out.

[saw-facts]

your post inspired me so here's who I think certain saw characters favorite artists would be with no explanation at all:

hoffman: george bellows

amanda: paul cezanne

john: osman hamdi bey

lawrence: allan kaprow

adam: marta minujin

lynn: doris salcedo

strahm: caravaggio

oh i like this!! i want to add some:

the eerie quality of henri de toulouse-lautrec's work (at least imo) feels like it'd be appealing to hoffman. along the same vein, i'd say edvard munch too. ALSO FRANCISCO GOYA. im surprised he wasn’t also painting fucked up shit on his own walls.

amanda would love louise bourgeois, ana mendieta, joan mitchell, and eva hesse. i feel like she'd also be really into fiber arts in general (tamara kostianovsky, kiki smith, raija jokinen). also we know she likes some renaissance/stylistically classical art bc she has the birth of venus print next to her bed in saw 3! i think this is more for gay reasons but i bet she'd like john william waterhouse’s mythological paintings.

i love this one for john! the obvious one for him would be da vinci as well- john's drawings actually remind me a lot of his. i think he wouldn't be into abstraction because “it lacks intellect” or some shit. probably dark, dramatic, pensive baroque art.

i feel like lawrence would be into impressionism but NOT post impressionism!!! he'd be so annoying about it. monet, degas, cassat, etc. i also think he'd enjoy botanical illustrations. probably a fan of edward hopper too.

adam would like jc leyendecker. just based on vibes. others i think he'd enjoy include john singer sargent, norman lewis, lee krasner, yoshitaka amano, salman toor, yayoi kusama... these are all over the place uhhhh i just think he'd enjoy a wide range of styles. now ofc he has favorite photographers, but that is not at all my area of study and the only one i could think of off the top of my head that would fit him is robert mapplethorpe.

for lynn, andrew wyeth makes sense to me- the lonely, empty, desolate feeling his paintings give you would probably speak to her :( agnes martin (ESPECIALLY agnes martin) and louise nevelson would probably appeal to her too.

strahm liking caravaggio is basically canon to me. like of fucking course. for one, he'd just loooove telling people that the Old Master painters are the finest of fine artists just bc he's a dick (and doesn't know shit about art made after like the 18th century). but also caravaggio was gay and killed someone and was murdered so. it fits. he'd probably scoff at rene magritte paintings but deep down he'd really enjoy them.

im obsessed with this ask and i've been drafting this response for a hot minute bc i wanted to put some real thought into it. VERY fun and a great way to procrastinate on work as an art history grad student

[babiejoshi]

Lead us to the Caves pls, I would like to slurp some Yiga Theory condensation off of the stalactites

i wanted to initially make a video about this but the way this is worded i know i MUST answer

take to mind this theory was built up almost exclusively on botw and NOT hw:aoc or totk but it also includes elements from games like oot/mm/ww/mc/tp and a few others here and there but dont worry about it, at its core its a botw thing

okay so the relationship between the sheikah and the hylain family is strange. like incredibly strange. like... racist strange. Just looking at it from the perspective of being an non-white american, the relationship between them gets worse and worse the more you look into it. A specific "race" or rather ethnic group of people is designated to work specifically FOR the royal family of hyrule, and its worded in ways that are insultingly so. "The only majorly accepted theology in this nation denotes an entire ethnic group of people to exclusively live and serve the family which by the way are also descendants of the main god of said religion" A group of people that just so happen to "enjoy" this servitude in any and all aspects that they are seen, constantly passing down traditions of generations of rules and expectations on to their children on how to train and protect and use even your best intelligence and technology, not for you, not for your lives or families but rather EXCLUSIVELY for the royal family. A family that consistently, over and over, fail and fall. Sometimes for uncontrollable means, other times its due to things like a war. But regardless of the reason, no matter what hyrule, despite having the god descendants themselves running the nation, it always falls into disrepair. which ok fine that happens... but if you look at other nations in the zelda universe while they will have conflicts (thats why theyre a part of the games to begin with) often sort that shit out, and we never hear about them again. (A, B, C) kind of like they learned from it or something.

Now hear me out for a sec because this is the actual theory and the stuff before is just kind of setting it up.

The sheikah are slaves, and the yiga clan are a group of individuals that rose against the people that oppressed them and had forced them into servitude but while doing so were painted as working for and outright supporting the uprising of ganon. The yiga do not attack regular people, the only ones that they ever seem to actually attack are

members of the royal family

link but only when he speaks to them

link AFTER beating master kohga or asserting alliance with the sheikah/the royal family

somebody who snuck into THEIR base (okay okay yeah they stole the thunderhelm first but like if you hear big dick is back in town what are you gonna do? just sit there and let them reinstill the one thing that you spent a century keeping successfully at bay? no youre gonna try and take away that power from them even if it means thievery.)

the shiekah like twice canonically (and really thats arguably only once because if it werent for dorian WHO WAS A YIGA it probably wouldnt have gone past stealing the heirloom.)

Now that seems like a lot, but is it really?

And the thing is... we know this isnt *that* crazy of a movement. For one, there are WAY more members of the yiga clan than there are of the sheikah, which implies that a mass amount of the sheikah race, and people who were mixed with the sheikah, were in fact fed up with being forced into slavery. >i.e. learning and training on a constant basis, exclusively to serve a kingdom that routinely takes advantage of peoples and forgets about them or throws them aside once their benefit is no longer necessary

For another, the idea of deliberately working to overthrow a political system and economic class that has kept your race specifically down from being seen as anything other than servants isn't really that farfetched. Not to mention using real world history we know that often times, groups that align themselves with the idea of gaining civil rights are often not only ridiculed and disrespected but also are painted in media as "bad guys". listen i know what im about to say is embarrassing, and its incredibly stupid to compare real world groups of activist to that of a villain organization in a childrens game but i mean we know that irl activist and civil rights groups, especially ones that often advocate for direct action, are typically portrayed in media and the world around us as terrorist organizations, whether or not they actually are. especially if the actions of said organizations or movements are valid. What I'm saying is... I dont think they actually give a fuck if ganon is in power. If anything it would make a lot of sense that they don't want anyone in power. But that doesn't read well, it doesnt fear monger. It makes the yiga but especially the sheikah the victims of generational violence, which the royal family WOULD DEFINITELY NOT WANT THE GENERAL PUBLIC OF HYRULE TO KNOW.

And why not? Well... Then whos the bad guy? Not the hyrulean family, not the same family that had a war with a neighboring nation made up almost entirely of women for decades where in which they tortured said women in a secret well in the middle of their godly given slave race's town that only specific people would have been able to navigate purposefully hiding what would have been war crimes all for a little bit of land. NOO NOT THEM.. THEY WOULD NEVER

Not only that but also,, the yiga are kind of, one of the only actually functioning societies left.

That's not even mentioning... The yiga don't outright hate the sheikah. like its even seen in how they speak to them. They clearly have ties to them, not only in their practices and knowledge but in general. Dorian is a great example of this, because yes he is currently no longer a member of the yiga it doesn't change the fact that he initially was, but even at the end of the day his race was still sheikah and that his wife, before her death, is also implied to have been a sheikah. it's not the sheikah themselves that they hate, that would be stupid. to hate your own race, your own kin. its ridiculous, but not nearly as ridiculous as laying down on your back and accepting that you (someone who just so happened to exist) must live exclusively as a servant, even if your master is away. It's not just selling yourself short, its selling your children and your ancestors equally as short. Saying deliberately that you are nothing purely because they say you are. Who wouldn't uprise from that? Don't you want to quit these patterns?

I really hate how they made the yiga in botw, actually i hate a lot of the weird race stuff they do in loz but particularly i hate how they butchered the sheikah and how they keep fucking them up. like.. i dunno man

It's just not fair...

[zmediaoutlet]

46 and 47!

46. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

SAM: [laughs] No. DEAN: I mean... no. I guess I don't... mind? But if someone is saying that kind of crap they tend to sound like a dick, and there's no need for that. Nothin' wrong with being easy.

47. Are you into any BDSM?

DEAN: I ain't talking about this with you. SAM: Isn't there something, like, you shouldn't do it if you can't talk about it? DEAN: Go rearrange your sock drawer or something, bitch. SAM: Bring me back a beer.

[separately]

DEAN: So -- yeah. But not like -- I've watched the porn, and we don't do it like that. I mean, the slut/whore thing all by itself -- we don't do all the shit-talking, or treating each other like fuck-dolls, and we don't really get into all that -- apparatus. Vinyl suits and ropes and all that shit. Hell of a lot of work, you know? Hope those girls get paid well. The boys, too.

But I mean -- we're not exactly strangers to getting knocked around a little and sometimes in the moment it just feels right to add a little -- spice, I guess. But this shit's hard to talk about. Especially since -- we've been through it. And I've done some -- some things. Sam has too but I've done worse. And so you maybe get the instinct to slap someone, like it goes right into your arm and it feels like something's dragging at your bones, just really wanting you to do it. But that's a cop-out, because there's nothing trying to get you to do it from the outside. It's all you. And you don't want to hurt anyone but then the only person there is -- this person. And you think, he can take it. And you think, he wouldn't even flinch -- hell, he's smacked me around just the same, and worse, and he's also a downright freak sometimes so he'd probably nut as soon as I did it -- and if I just let go, hell, it might be the best sex we'd had in a year. But then you'd have to think about what'd come after. How it'd feel, to have done it. No matter if it was hot, no matter if he was good with it, no matter if it was all -- safe and sane and all that crap. It wouldn't actually feel all that safe, after, and hell if it feels sane, ever, so. I don't really -- do that. Doesn't come up often, anyway.

For him -- I don't mind. Whatever he wants to do, pretty much. He always makes it good. He's a freak that way, too. Doesn't eat at him the same way and I don't know why, but you know what they say about gift horses and teeth.

---

SAM: Bondage sometimes, although nothing serious. He actually does think handcuffs are kinky. Mostly he likes being held down. I think it's partly because he thinks it's messed up that he likes being held down, partly because he likes that I can. Dominance, yes. Mostly the soft kind -- we don't do any of the master/slave, sir, any of that stuff. But he does like to be told what to do, and I don't mind doing the telling. Little rules that have to be followed. Mostly just for fun, although it's good when it stops being fun and starts to feel serious. He almost never wants to be in charge -- that way, I mean, where it's real. It's like it doesn't occur to him. I always thought that was interesting.

S&M, that comes and goes. He likes to be spanked, although usually not hard enough that it's a problem the next day. I like some pain but he usually doesn't want to really hurt me. There's been some harder stuff -- a knife, once, and he was careful with it but I came so hard I pulled a muscle. We've got a... complicated history with that so it really was just once.

I watched a few videos once from this fetish website, trying to figure out -- I don't know. What would feel good, what we were... doing. But I don't think anyone on there's been through some of the things we've been through, and some of it just felt -- silly. I can see how it would work for other people but I thought about going to Dean and explaining traffic lights or getting him to say some magic word and we'd stop, and it just -- that's not us. Maybe it should be but it's not. So, we figure it out as we go along. It's worked out okay, so far.

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

was going to ask for even More about long dick of the law, if you’re so inclined 👀 but also your nikto fic!! anything you can share i shall devour

DIANA HELLO MY DARLINGGG 😍😍😍 i love you so you shall get BOTH, and i have even written some fresh long dick for you!!

Wretched was the understanding that it would take the same measure of time to reach the blood-festering oubliette as to stand before the great hall's throne. There is coming a time from the distance future where Yder's skin will crackle in the heat of hell; she will meet a soul damned to stop his master to save his masterwork, and she will all-at-once come to understand the beauty that dead eyes once beheld of Moonrise Towers. Tonight, she drinks. The call rising from the bottom of the bottle--any bottle, all of them--is no a temptation she fights to resist. She is sunken, soaked, soused whenever the party beds down. Not necessarily at night, because there is simply no way to fucking tell in this miserable pocket of hell. But stories have been spun, histories dug painstakingly from the solid-frozen ground of brittle memory. The walls of Astarion's tent are red and familiar, the same as his eyes. Their laughter had been drunken and humid, fingers brushing the hem of hysteria as they slouched and staggered ever closer to their last human moments. But together they'd rewoven an unraveled portion of a rotten tapestry. A white haired magistrate. The tall, burning wife of a violent man, who had given blessing to a group of vagrants. Two hundred years later, the undead magistrate rests the length of his body on top of the frigid widow's, and their cackling had died as coals left unstoked. "You, ah." She swallows hard, feeling as though she should remove her hand from gripping the shirt at his waist, and feeling as though that removal would better live under the name of betrayal. It leaves her not moving at all. "You met your death that night." A bitter twist deforms the shape of Astarion's pretty lips, and a pretty curl falls in his pretty eyes. "It was. Hm. And thaaat was about the time your husband--how do I put this delicately?" he hums to himself, swaying, blinking slowly and faintly off-beat. "Lost his shit." "Your reckoning is correct, yes," she answers, a waver in her words, amusement badly buckling her tone. A slow swat of her wrist and a mumble brings about a Mage Hand, and she uses the cantrip to brush the hair from his eyes. But not too far. "I see. Fascinating. Is that fate or serendipity, do you think? Hm?" he tuts, eyes tracking the cantrip claws. When he breaks and looks back down at her, he settles his full weight on her. The crush is a comfort. "Well. Sorry about that!" Oh, she coughs, and then she laughs until tears wet the bruises under her eyes. "Oh, fuck, all forgiven. And my apologies to you, Lamb," she wheezes, broken to bits by decades of pointed breaking, hysterical, lotus-pink relief flooding the cracks as Astarion buries his face under her jaw to cackle into her neck, against her pulse.

and nikto snip under cut! :3

Andre Nikto does not deal in prosperity. Simple fact of the matter is that neither of you do. The quality of your lives is only afforded by depths of blood measured in leagues, and not a moment of sleep has been lost since he hosted your exhumation like a high priest of an old, forgotten order. And, in return, your first breaths of the remaining world bellowed oxygen back into his flames like a banshee’s screams, sending them roaring.  It would take a fool to overlook the cadence of necromancy to which the pair of you dance.  With your rampant world stomping comes attention—wanted and unwanted, alike. Sharp eyes over sharper teeth, bared at the beginning of slavering maws. Most would like to see Nikto out of the picture. He is untamable. Unbuyable. Unswayable. His path is a death march leading to a new world order, and he walks it straight-backed, savage, and proud.  He knows he will not live to see the fruits of his efforts. He is cracked enough that he does not care.  However his name goes down in the history books—if it does at all—means nothing. Only the results are of importance.

[herehaveafandom]

For the choosing violence ask game, literally as many as you can for Star Wars

oh jesus ok

I've seen people talk about Satine who believe she was weak, that she betrayed what it means to be a Mandalorian, that she didn't deserve Obi-Wan, etc. While I don't idealistically with her views entirely, I sympathize with her point of view and I don't think she was at all weak. She was trying to do what she felt was best for her people based on her knowledge of history and the current political climate. Do what you have to, queen. Also, MACE WINDU. I'm sorry that the (stressed out, under immense pressure) leader of a massive order wasn't sweet as sunshine to the rule breaking Jedi master about the rule breaking kid he picked up who will grow up to be one of the world's most prolific war criminals and murders. I admit that I think the Jedi order had its faults but I am a Mace Windu stan 4ever

hey. hey. Look me in the eyes and tell me you think Rex bottoms. That man is a fucking Dom top who gets shit DONE. He has half of Torrent on their knees for him. The way he put his hand on Echo's chest? Shoots an eel in the eye and goes fucking "Call me sir?" He had them swooning I know it. His dick game is pristine. Side note but I feel like Bail Organa gets pegged on occasion (lovingly of course he and Breha are couple goals.

Uhhh. Hm. People who are generally mad abt Mando giving up the darksaber- I completely agree that it was right choice. For two seasons we all went "lol it's so funny how mando hates being the main character! He just wants to do side quests and raise his kid! Lol it's funny how he keeps being the most important person he hates it!" and then when Mando followed through on that character by giving up the darksaber people who got pissed "BUT HES THE MAIN CHARACTER". like tell me you don't understand the character without telling me that. Also people who Hate star wars but Keep Watching It and then come onto fandom side and insult it in every way - there's a difference between being critical of a thing (I am!) and just bringing the vibe down for everyone. Yes star wars and the fandom by extension have a lot of issues. Id also have to say the racist/homophobic/generally hateful takes. Also Reylos.

I've never actually blocked anyone!

I'm not on discord server lol

YOU KNOW. Like ok if you want to ship reylo FINE but don't come to me talking about how I'm misogynistic for not shipping it. I actually have taste thanks. I'm not the world's biggest fan of master/padawan ships - qui/obi or obikin - but at least those people are generally polite and I can just scroll past if I chose.

I don't know that this has happened? If anything hate for a character makes me more inclined to like them.

Gooooood where to begin. I am the only person who knows Obi-Wan and Luke Skywalker. When people reduce Luke down to "dumb, naive, sunshine boy" it makes me mad. Yes, that is a big part of his character, and may even be most of his character in ANH, but you don't get Luke unless you understand his more mature and dangerous side. Yes, Luke is generally the optimist to Leia's realism, but I believe that is a choice Luke makes. Remember, Luke grew up on Tatooine, so he can't be entirely innocent. Luke knew how to take care of business with Jabba. If you reduce him down to dumb sunshine I feel you take away from the character.

The sequels. The sequels. The sequels. They massacred and disrespected so many characters. God. They were so wrong. Beyond that, the split canon of Legends vs Disney. I actually really like so much of the old Legends canon I'm mad it's not real anymore.

The infighting, and as said above, people who just seem to hate Star Wars harshing the vibes for the rest of us. I'm not talking about things like acknowledging the bias and bigotry in both canon and fandom, because that's important, but people who just seem to hate every piece of media put out regardless of content. why are you here. In actual fanon proper, I'm going to be honest, mischaracterization. I understand everyone interprets things differently but sometimes I'm like. Did we watch the same thing here bestie bc he would not fucking say that.

fun fact the only thing i have filtered on tumblr is overwatch. I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT I DON'T CARE

Oh easy Saw Gerrera. I understand why people don't like him - he's hard to watch - but I think he's an amazing example of the kind of leftist infighting we see in our politicial climate today. He's not my favorite character or anything, but I do look forward to it when he's on my screen.

Kylie Ron. Enough said.

Ok this is a weird one but in all the prequel/clone wars fics I read, why does everyone assume Jedi, especially Obi-Wan, have an aversion to seeing a medic?? Did I miss something? Like if it was established in canon at some point let me know bc why?? The medics are always chasing down the Jedi and threatening them until they come in to get healed...like why wouldn't they go anyway? What's up man?

well fanart is varied. I guess a lot of characters overshadowing one another.

I mean this in the nicest way possible: I don't really understand why people like Obikin. I completely agree that these men are Not Normal about each other, and they have a New Type of Relationship but...Obi-Wan has been raising Anakin since he was nine. It's not even the age gap, just...I don't get it. No shade or shame but like. Not for me. They can be strange about each other in a different way for me.

FUCK ME I LOVE A FIXIT. LOVE A TIME TRAVEL BETWEEN OT AND PT. LETS THROW CHARACTERS INTO SITUATIONS I LOVE IT. I've particularly been thinking abt Darth Vader interacting with Dooku. Idk but I think it'd be fun. ALSO I LOVE FICS EXPLORING THE VARIOUS CULTURES OF STAR WARS. Star Wars has million worlds for you to make up shit about and I love them all. YES TELL ME ABOUT JEDI HOLIDAYS OR TWI'LEK RELIGIOUS BELIEFS. Shoutout to @fialleril and their amazing series abt Darth Vader being a double agent, which really set the standard and created content that people still use today about Tatooinian Slave Culture.

CAN WE HEAR A LITTLE COMMOTION FOR REVA SEVANDER? ok so we didn't really SLEEP on her but now that Kenobi is over I dont see much stuff about her :( I love her she was amazing. Also let me shout out some favorite fics real quick - the above mentioned "Double Agent Vader", "Cosmic Oddities", a Mando/The Last of Us crossover, all of Blue_Sunshine's work but especially their series "The Desert Storm" and the follow up "Rise and Fall" about a time traveling Ben Kenobi, Deniigiq's series "center stage", Killbothtwins' series "the massive machinery of hope" (more time traveling with one of my favorite characterizations of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon). For the adults looking for something spicy (and by spicy I mean downright smut), Iridan's work "a simple thing" has not only set the standard for Bobadin works, but is one of the best fics I've read PERIOD. Booktok authors WISH they had this level of skill. It's amazing and should be turned into a novel. All of the above fics are on AO3, go check them out and show them some love!

Padme/Anakin. It is heterosexual nonsense and I love it.

Some sections of TCW. I'm not generally a military/war movie person in general, so those sections focusing on that can feel a little long to me. Generally star wars doesn't bore me though!

I'm going to be killed for this, but...Andor. I LIKED IT I DID I JUST. DIDNT LIKE IT AS MUCH AS KENOBI. Yes it was important and relevant and YES it was great. I just think maybe the tiniest bit overhyped. I STILL REALLY LIKE IT THO DONT KILL ME.

Now lets talk abtJaster Mereel can we talk abt jaster mereel ive been dying to talk abt Jaster Mereel

Din/Bo Katan. Before season 3 I would have said no but season 3 got me bitch I can't lie. It's about the fealty.

Star war's flaws. the racism and homophobia and misogyny. yikes!

I DONT CARE IF YOU HATE THE PREQUELS SHUT UP ABOUT IT

[dinrelsanddragons]

I feel like doing this: the list Bryn ran down of the guardsmen. Please note that this is their Twilight Princess verse.

"First, there’s the actual war criminal, who was pardoned for the crime of burning her superiors alive." Yep. Gateni did burn her superiors alive, because she was ordered to kill innocents. Rather than do that, she decided the guys issuing those orders needed to die both painfully and efficiently; fire magic happens to be her specialty.

"Second, there’s Wynne, who’s the queen’s sister, and icy enough that your dick would freeze off if you even went within ten feet of her." Maybe a bit of a fanciful descriptor regarding how cold Wynne is, but if she got a scale from the dragon spirit Naydra and awoke as the Frostclad sage (that lore is still a thing) she could easily do that, elemental control and all that. Not that anyone knows this lore, except for the tiny bit of fanciful myth Wynne has heard in her family history.

"Third we’ve got our steel snob who keeps our weapons in tip-top condition." Sandalio could easily let some well-qualified servants do this job, but he's a bit of a guy who says "if you want something done right, you do it yourself," at least regarding weapons maintenance. (Mun needs to develop his character more, frankly speaking.)

"Fourth is the guy with a stick up his ass, the wimpiest of us since he let a talking cat make him think he lost his wits." Leonard certainly did let a talking cat get the better of him: when he met Tallula Brighid, who in time became his beloved, he had no idea that Tallula had (quite accidentally) bestowed the power of speech upon her cat, Fluffy. Fluffy is a sarcastic and sassy little shit and uses these traits to grand effect when it comes to messing with people.

"Fifth is the guy who knows his legends better than anyone and has a lineage to prove it." Wynne knows her general history better than Hubert, but Hubert has access to certain materials regarding the mythology and legends of Hyrule that qualify him as a special expert. While this doesn't do much to make him sound like a badass, it's probably a better qualifier of his character than saying that he's decent with lightning magic and can use it alongside his chosen weapon of a sword.

"Sixth used to be a master prankster as a kid until his instructors knocked it out of him." Not sure if Isaac was a master prankster, but he certainly committed to it and pissed off a lot of folks in his hometown. Isaac thankfully doesn't have the straight-lacing that Leonard does, but neither is he about to indulge in that hobby again– but it still means he's got a creative and clever mind, always has.

"Seventh is a literal half frost dragon." Enough said, I suppose? There's also that Taunch wouldn't stand for any of the bullshit Garon tries to pull; he is a soul who sincerely believes he has a duty to use his strength to defend the weak. A consummate knight.

"Eighth is the man who runs the fastest of any of us and married to the only person we’ve ever even heard of who can beat him in a footrace." That's Thorn, who is married to a very short Gerudo who, like him, goes nyoom. His wife Lita could easily qualify to be a royal guard if she were a knight of Hyrule, or really, from Hyrule instead of Gerudo. She's that good. Thorn isn't anything to sneeze at himself; he's better than Lita in sheer strength, though certainly not stamina– measure by that and she runs circles around him for hours.

"Ninth, an actual full-blooded stone dragon, you should be grateful it’s impossible to piss him off." Please do not try to piss off Armok, it could be disastrous if he turned his petrifying breath on... well, anyone, given the delicate diplomatic situation. It's possible that his berserk button, if it exists, lies in threatening his hoard of comrades. Well, that happened! He's probably very upset.

"I’m tenth." I guess Bryn feels that her actions speak of her skill set and strength enough that she doesn't need to say what they are. Confident, perhaps "overzealous" (as stated by King Jacinto), but she's good enough at her job– and her king's envoy of choice to the Gerudo if he has to pick someone who can defend herself. She knows diplomacy to some extent, but doesn't care to employ it with obvious jackasses.

"Eleventh is the king’s childhood best friend." I haven't even mentioned in this post that Raven and Hubert are in this group of bros as well, but Vair's loyalty lies where it does because, as a boy and prince, King Jacinto turned him to a better path than self-destruction under the guise of vengeance and justice for Vair's hometown, which was destroyed by a flame dragon when Vair was six. Vair might be odd in a few ways, but he knows his way around his weapons of choice and will put those skills to use without a heartbeat of hesitation.

"And finally, number twelve: Grandson of a legendary war hero with the skills to match." Raven is noted as being the grandson of Link Allaway, who gained many accolades in his (unfortunately brief) time, hidden among them being "hero of time." Raven doesn't possess the exact same skills that his grandfather did– the man died in war when Raven's father Devin was a boy. But there is still power in his bloodline– or perhaps courage, more accurately. (And mun won't lie; if Hyrule had had need of a hero before Raven could have any kids, Raven would probably be worthy of drawing the Master Sword from the pedestal.)

Honorable mentions:

Lita, Thorn's wife. Charismatic enough to wrap an otherwise cold and extremely private man around her finger, and win his heart. She'd definitely earn her spot among the ranks of the guardsmen... except mun doesn't want to bump that number up any further than 12.

Erdan, guardsman of the Twili. His role in the twilight realm much mirrored that of any of the Hyrulean guardsmen; he was close to Princess Midna and took her protection very seriously. He still kicks himself for being away when Zant usurped the throne, and kicks himself for getting himself and his husband Naal trapped in the world of light with no way to return home. Also would have a spot amongst the guardsmen if mun wanted to bump the number up; he has just about nothing better to do with his life except maybe be something like a house husband.

Gwyn, Raven's wife. She's retired from her job and just wants to be a housewife, but the fact is she remains a very able spy that Raven or King Jacinto can call on if needed. Mind her chaotic streak– if something happens that endangers her family, she will put their lives and happiness first, especially should their needs conflict with the kingdom's needs.

[ask-maxie-boy]

"I think its a good idea."

"Dick have you gone insane?!" Tim gives him a harsh glance over his mug, much less interested in the laptop he had been looking at.

"We go under cover all the time!" Dick nonchalantly argues, putting his feet on the coffee table. "Infiltration is part of the game! How is this any different?"

"How is this- Dick, its the Goon Union! Yknow, the union of people whos faces we've been beating in for the past… however many years!"

[This is part 2. Part 3 can be found here]

"And stealing bones"

"And stealing bones, thank you Damia- wait what?" Tim looks to where Damian was standing, only to see empty space.

"Aw c'mon Timmers, it'll be fun! I hear they have tee-shirts and baseball caps"

"Dick, if you come back wearing a Goon Union-"

"Goonion"

"A Goon Union baseball cap, I swear to god."

"its just recon! I'm not actually gonna join the Goonion." He waves a hand dismissively, while Tim's eye twitches in annoyance. "Besides, Bruce said he wanted more information, right? What better way than from the horse's mouth?"

"He wants more information on Danny, the unknown meta who we still cant find legal identification of any kind for."

"You really think I'm not gonna get a DNA sample while I'm there?"

"Considering what happened after my interview? Yeah, I dont think you are!"

Dick got his feet off the table, and sat up a bit straighter. "...What happened after your interview?"

"Well, I got some hairs, got a stealthy blood sample"

"As you do"

"And when I went to check them out, all I found was a note in my pocket that says 'consent is king' and a little frowny face."

"Oh so he caught you. Nice try Timber."

"They were still there 30 minutes after Danny had left. I didn't lose them until I was in the cave"

"...Oh. Shit."

"This is serious, Dick! What if our identities are compromised?"

"Well, in section C23 of the Goonion Handbook, it says that revealing legal names of other goons, regardless of importance of the person the name is revealed to, can lead to severe penalties."

Tim's mouth hung open. Dick raised an eyebrow.

"Dick."

"Tim."

"Have you been reading the Goon Union handbook?"

"Have you... not?"

"No I haven't been reading the fucking handbook! I've had a legally nonexistent meta who's been stirring up shit in Gotham's underbelly I've been looking for! I don't even know his last name!"

"Daniel James Fenton."

Tim blinks. "...Excuse me?"

"Daniel James Fenton. Its right there on page 2, he's one of the authors." Dick pulls out the cheaply-bound book Daniel had gifted them and flips it open. "See? Right there."

Tim stares at the page, the name clearly printed there mocking him. He reaches for his phone, only to see someone is already calling.

"Oracle."

"Ooh! Put it on speaker phone!"

"Daniel James Fenton, born April 3rd, 1990, in Amity Park, Illinois. Cant find any info on job history, nor a current place of residence. In fact, I cant seem to find anything more than a change of residency, and that was when he was 16. Either someone's trying to hide his existence, or this isn't our guy."

"Anything else interesting?" Tim asks. "Criminal record, notable connections...?"

"Seems like hes got some tow in the wildlife preservation community. Looks like he saved an endangered species by accident for a school project... Oh, here's something. Seems like he has some kind of connection with Vladimir Masters, CEO and Founder of D.A.L.V Co."

"...Dalv co?" Dick asks with a slight grin.

"Yes."

"As in-"

"As in Vlad spelled backwards, yes."

"Fantastic," Tim comments, somehow sounding like he had missed another night of sleep on top of what he's already done. "Anything you can find on that guy, and anything that can be traced back to Danny?"

"Not anything incriminating for either. Theres some talk about DALV Co's shady practices, but despite a fair number of lawsuits none of them ever went anywhere."

"Settled out of court?"

"Nope. Every single one has always ended in favor of DALV Co."

"Thats not suspicious at all."

"Still, we're not here for him. Other than the godfather connection, I cant find anything that would say he and Daniel have been talking."

"Damn. Another lead down."

"I'll keep looking, and send something if I find it."

"Thanks Oracle!" Cheers Dick, "You coming for dinner soon?"

"B's calling. Oracle out." The line goes dead.

Dick sinks back into the couch again. "Coward. She just doesn't want to admit she misses Alfred's cooking."

"And you dont want to admit that joining the Goon Union is a terrible idea," Tim counters.

"Goonion. And I know it is! Thats why I want you as backup!"

"No, I'm not joining the Goon Union!" Tim slams his mug onto a coaster.

Dick grins. "Would you rather me bring Damian?"

"I'd rather you not go at all!" Tim says, pinching his brow.

"It doesnt seem like your other leads are getting you anywhere."

"I would enjoy the opportunity to learn more techniques for submission, something the Goonion has offered for no cost."

Tim is a robin. He has trained for years. Tim does not flinch. "Damian, please don't bring your swords to the Goon Union."

"Daniel said he would be fine with it. They are 'tools of the trade,' as he said."

Dick puts an arm around Tim. "Cmooonnnnn, it'll be fun! Plus, imagine the look on B's face when we come to him with the union rep and like. Demand fair compensation."

"We are not Suing Batman as a Joke!"

"Why, because its money laundering?"

"Because its BRUCE, Dick!"

"I think Father could stand to listen to us more often. The power of collective bargaining-"

"Yknow what!? Fine. We'll go to the Goon Union-"

"Goonion" Dick and Damian cut simultaneously

"Goon Union meeting. But if any of us end up with a crowbar across the face, don't blame me."

Damian's eyes darken. "If someone were to attempt to strike me with a crowbar-"

"You will NOT retaliate, Damian! We will be in the heart of the enemy, we cannot possibly take on all of them."

"I can."

"He probably could."

"Not helping, Dick!"

@akikkobara @thegatorsgoose @addie-lover-of-stories @apointlessbox @screamingtofillthevoid @semiprofessionaldumbass @sailor-goddess @malice-of-the-sunrise @savaton

Danny Fenton goon union representative (dp x dc fanfic prompt)

At no point in Danny’s life has he ever turned down a challenge, even when he had to deal with opponents bigger than himself. From dealing with everyone from Dash to Vlad to heck pariah dark, he’s learned to take down people bigger than himself. So when he overhears that his nice father of four neighbors has been having some trouble at work and has been unable to get some time off, he figures it can’t hurt to try to help such a nice guy out. And it does go ok, all things considered; I mean, what if the guy’s boss was the penguin, and so what if Danny maybe had to show off some of his less-than-human characteristics to get him to agree to let the guy have some time off? Everything worked out at the end of who cares.

Well, when word gets out that someone is not afraid to go tow to tow with the city’s villains, someone’s bound to either take him out or hire him. And when word gets around that he’s willing to help get better working conditions for Gotham’s goon workers, their union could use a new representative.

So Danny inadvertently gets a new job, wherein he gets to meet many strange characters around the city and help many friendly working-class people with their problems. Interchange the goons help hide Danny from the bat, and his no meta-rule, even if Danny doesn’t know they’re hiding him. But this does cause some problems because people like black mask don’t necessarily want to pay for their goon’s vision care or overtime and refuses to adhere to any of the union’s demands. Danny, for what it’s worth, did warn the guy because, unlike black mask, he has the goon’s respect and knows that they will listen to him, so when he proposes a strike, they readily agree to his suggestion.

And with all of this going down so quickly in the city, both batman and the red hood need to get as much info on this new player before things get even more out of hand. But with all of the normal underground information channels refusing to give them anything, they are forced to schedule a meeting with not only the union but its infamous leader, which is good for Danny because he wasn’t sure how to get into contact with batman anyway. He has some concerns with the level of violence used to take down some goons. And well, when they have no choice but to work in this industry, they should, at the very least, outline a clear code of conduct for all parties involved to ensure the safest possible work environment.

[ariespellz]

wait how does that work? does that mean you'll only have a few days of vacation? sorry my english isn't englishing rn😭

same, i usually don't follow any sports but everyone's talking about it so 🤷‍♀️ i wish you luck with maths! i don't do much of that anymore but i remember how painful it was 😭 no matter how much i studied for some reason i could never get a good score...anyways i'm very sure you won't turn out like me! i have faith in you! 😭

yeah, this is the longest term,,,which is good but also kinda bad. my mock exams start next term i believe, and then the term after is basically full of actual exams, which im not looking forward to ://

anyways, i hope you do really well in your exams!! and rest when you can! <33

no u actually make sense!! the educational stuff is going nuts lately in spain :/ they're all dicks tbh but oh well we have to suck it up,,

we basically start vacation "officially" the 24th and we'll proba be back by the 5th?? pulling my hair out rn . these btches i swear.

on the bright side tho!!! next year im choosing my bachiller (we have 6 years primary, 4 secondary, and then 2 years in something called "bachillerato" in which we make some subjects related with what we want to study. then we have an exam called ebau (various, depending on the subjects we choose), and with that grade we can apply to a certain amount of universities. does that make sense?? we have other options aside from uni too but thats too much info) and i'll have no more maths, just humanities (languages, history, and other nerdy shit i enjoy lmao).

the main thing with our education styles is that is very .. closed off??? like. the US for reference is HELL. its soooo expensive qnd the level is kinda wonky? defo lower than here. HOWEVER , even then, the masters degree options and branches in and after high school are way more open than here. we have like a shit ton of careers and you have to study the full 4-5 years (or drop out) and then go for another one if you want to do something slightly different. okay maybe not really but idk i feel like im rambling a lot. im a bit stressed out about school stuff.

on another not: i relate to the math thing SO. MUCH!!! im quick w stuff like multiplications fractions etc etc but the moment functions come out.. lord have mercy. my brain stops braining. so yeah good thing my teacher knows i bother w that stuff (hes cool at least:')) physics had me crying last year).

exams are so stressful!!! i feel u hun :( i cant say i know exactly what ur going through but u are very very smart and great! u WILL pull this off evie i believe in you<33