#masquerade and Santa Claus

[tlwebb]

[awakenedsalamander]

Here’s some Chronicles of Darkness thoughts for you.

So, Vampire: The Requiem (particularly in its first edition) gets a lot of flak for being kind of a watered down Vampire: The Masquerade. Whereas the other Chronicles of Darkness games really do reimagine their concepts— I mean, compare both Changeling games some time— Requiem struggles more to differentiate itself from its older sibling.

However, its second edition makes a really cool change, in my opinion.

So one of the defending aspects of Masquerade is, well, the Masquerade. Not just the notion that the supernatural hides from the mortal and mundane— that’s standard urban fantasy/horror. No, in Masquerade, that hiding is given focus as a delicate, brutal conspiracy. Part of the identity of that game is how perilous the position of the Kindred is, and how they are just beneath mortal scrutiny they are. It’s why it’s the name of the game.

Requiem… plays it a little differently, at least in 2E. They still have the Masquerade, they even still call it that, but it works in a really interesting way. See, one of the themes of Requiem is just how inhuman vampires are— and that’s a theme in Masquerade, too, but in VTM the focus is on monstrousness by way of immortality.

To lose your Humanity stat in Masquerade, you normally have to behave with deliberately cruelty, or at least reckless negligence, toward the wellbeing of others. Your Hunger makes you a monster, because it drives you to evil. It’s good stuff, I’ve written about it before!

But in Requiem, one of the ways you can lose Humanity is through— and this is a quote— “Surviving something that would hospitalize a human.” The reason being, well, humans can’t do that, not normally. But a vampire? Well, it can be hit by a truck, beaten and stabbed, hell, even shot in the head, and can walk it all off, with a bit of luck. Requiem takes the stance that, cool as that might be, it isn’t *human* in any sense. A lot of the ways you can lose Humanity in Requiem really do revolve around being inhuman in the most literal sense, in addition to being inhumane.

So what does that have to do with the Masquerade?

Well, here’s the thing about monsters: People are scared of them.

We love them too, sure. They’re enthralling, they’re fascinating, they’re impressive. That’s how the vampire lures you in. But when it wants you to go away? That’s what fear is for.

The Masquerade in Requiem is not a network of elders conspiring to silence mortal media institutions. It doesn’t need to be. All it has to be is the hesitance to knock on the apartment door of that sketchy neighbor during daylight hours, the impulse to rush home rather than linger when walking by that alley, the refusal to speak about what could be seen out of the bus window last night, if you looked closely enough.

To quote the book:

This is not about vampires needing to quake and hide, but about the fear humans have of what is hidden from them — just past the truth of Santa Claus and all the horrible adult revelations — the fear that if they shake even the most mundane structure, crawling things will fall out.

(V:TR 2E, p. 60, emphasis mine.)

And well, as much as I love the labyrinthine plots and schemes of VTM, something about VTR’s notion of what hiding from mortals really is sticks with me.

I’ve never really felt like some shadowy vampire puppet master is pulling strings to keep me from finding out about him, you know?But that there might be something horrible down there in the dark, that sends me racing up the stairs, even though I should know better… That I’ve felt.

[dramioneasks]

Christmas Fics 2023 (Part 3):

I Gave You My Heart by queenkhaleesistark - T, one-shot - One-shot After the year she's had Hermione just wants a drink and to see her godchildren at the annual Potter Christmas party. She doesnt expect who turns up at the door.

A Bottle of Blotson's by thepotterfamily - E, WIP - A little Christmas tale in which Hermione and Draco are workaholics spending the holidays in the Ministry halls together, but separate. In which Draco steals Hermione’s ink and makes up for it with the best gift she’s ever received. In a world where Draco is Hermione’s golden boy and Hermione is Draco’s saving grace, please enjoy my ten-part Christmas tale that is really more of a New Years Eve story. Eventually NSFW.

Willow Weep for Me by MilanScolding - E, WIP - Hermione Granger is now realizing that the price she paid for her parents’ safety may have been costlier than she can contend with. Alone and grieving, she seeks refuge in a town rife with their ghosts. Draco Malfoy is lost without direction, after all that he has been raised to be and believe is shattered. Grave whispers and hostile stares follow him wherever he goes, a reminder that a reckoning awaits for his service to the Dark Lord. How then, do they only find comfort with each other in a muggle park, when mere months ago they were sworn enemies? *** AKA traumatized!Hermione and traumatized!Draco find that misery loves company, but it gets harder and harder to be miserable when your company of choice is not ugly, gives you good tea recipes, and kisses you when rip roaring drunk

Pink by TeTe91 - G, one-shot - It's quite embarassing how long it took Hermione to figure out that the pair of pink socks that appeared on her stack of laundry are her fellow Head Boy's lucky item. The final Quidditch match before the winter holidays is fast approaching and all signs predict a win of Hufflepuff over Slytherin. Still, it's such fun to watch Draco grow more unhinged by the day. She will mend the socks - no need to worry - but first she'll lean back and enjoy the show.

Meet Me Under the Mistletoe by Anonymous - E, one-shot - An obnoxious best friend and her too-tall heels. A mystery man in a dragon mask. One stupid little sprig of mistletoe. Hermione Granger had no idea what she was getting into when she showed up at Hyperion Enterprises' Christmas Masquerade.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by Biirdiee_Rose - E, one-shot - “What does what mean?” James asks through a mouthful of cake. “Milf,” Scorpius says, watching the other two’s expressions cautiously for reactions. “McLaggen just called my mum a ‘milf extraordinaire’.” James just cackles while Albus looks sheepish. “Mum I’d like to fuck.” The older boy says simply while Scorpius blinks in confusion. “Excuse me?” “That’s what milf means, mum I’d like to fuck.” - While at the annual Hogwarts Fundraiser, Scorpius learns a new word and that unfortunately people associate his mother with it. Meanwhile after the event is over, Draco is more than happy to demonstrate to his wife just exactly how much she fits the definition.

To Deserve This by potterhead25919 - T, one-shot - no summary

A Christmas Wish for Two (Blaise, Not Included) by MarinaJune - M, one-shot - Hermione just wants Draco to join her at the Burrow on Christmas Day, but he'd rather not--how can she convince him otherwise?

The Snowball Fight by potterhead25919 - E, one-shot - no summary

Ungentlemanly Warfare by Anonymous - E, one-shot - Aurors Malfoy and Granger are on protective detail for the Minister and his wife as they make a series of appearances over the festive season. The best way to liven up the long and boring shifts? Challenge your colleague to a magical prank war. But in the heat of battle, anything can happen. Featuring weaponised Christmas songs, magical topiary, and Minister Percy Weasley and his wife Pansy, who are desperate for some alone time.

[haravath0t]

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐄

𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐃𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓

𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑 ⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

𝐓𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭����𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞,

𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞,

𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐧𝐮𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐬,

𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬.

|| 𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐄 𝟐 : 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐀'𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 ||

𝑾𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅!

🦌☕📖❄ the lovely rika (@fushic0re) & i have decided to come together to create a little advent calendar! here, you will find fics posted from thanksgiving all the way up to december 26 from a mixed bag of your faves ! cozy up with some hot cocoa, sit by the fire, and enjoy ♡

☃ = beware! this forbidden snowman will lead you to works with smut

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏 || The Christmas Chronicles: the grinch’s heart grows three sizes - alhaitham x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: the local intelligent but stoic scribe alhaitham is minding his own business in the house of daena, reading books and declining applications. it is only when you partake in some random antics in light of the holiday season that his eyes leave the work on his hands.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐 || pov: shopping for christmas trees with him - 40s!steve rogers x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: “City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style. In the air there’s a feeling of Christmas.”

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟑 ||  “A Husband’s Guide to Meeting the In-Laws” - neuvillette, zhongli, ayato, tartaglia x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: meeting the in-laws…how does that work?

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟒 ||  pov: he’s taking you ice skating - 40s!bucky x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: the most handsome man in brooklyn is here to take you to the rink.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟓 || “A Husband’s Guide to a Noche Buena” - the forgers x filipina!reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬:  the night of christmas eve has come! are the dishes a pass or fail? ask anya.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟔 || pov: the winter masquerade - royalau!loki x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: the prince has his eyes on you in this winter ball, but does he know you're a mere peasant?

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟕 || The Christmas Chronicles: Rex Incognito - zhongli x reincarnated!reader, previously goddess!reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬:  a spin off of the tale of the lone glaze lily…zhongli is taking another walk around liyue, recalling the voice of his goddess. it is only when you come with him to dinner that he cannot shake off the sight of his late songbird. 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟖 || ☃ The Christmas Chronicles: “is santa here yet?” - neuvillette x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: in which you and neuvillette can finally have some alone time…except melusines are really eager about these concepts of “presents”.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟗 || ☃ The Christmas Chronicles: Holiday Stress - nanami x baker!reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: nanami comes from work frustrated, too annoyed by the recent increase of missions. somehow, he knows what to do once your pretty face greets him as he walks through the door.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟎 || ☃ “a man’s guide to drunken confessions” - kaveh, alhaitham, ayato, wriothesley

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you were going out christmas shopping, passing the time while he was out with friends, but you weren’t expecting such an important phone call.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟏 || ☃ pov: mr. and mrs. forger - loid forger x spy!reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: for the sake of operation strix, as loid’s fake wife, you had to attend the hospital’s christmas party. how inconvenient that loid found you so attractive in that dress you wore.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟐 || ☃ The Christmas Chronicles: “I saw mommy kissing santa claus” - dilf!neuvillette x nanny!reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬:  you had been sure you had tucked in neuvillette’s daughters to bed as he was celebrating a corporate party on christmas eve. however, curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction surely did not bring it back.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟑 || ☃ "a lover's guide to presents" - alhaitham, zhongli, neuvillette and wriothesley x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you were convinced to play a prank by your best friend to text your significant other that you are their present. how do they react? 

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟒 || ☃ The Christmas Chronicles: heated sparring - loid forger x spy!reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you have the rare honor of being close enough to twilight to be your sparring partner.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟓 || pov: a christmas festival with papamin and yuuji - nanami x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: nanami had to diverge from your christmas festival ooting with yuuji to attend to a last minute mission. what a pain to be a skilled man.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟔 || “a husband’s guide to mall santa claus” - loid forger x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: anya decides to utilize santa to hint at you both what she wants for christmas.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟕 || pov: coffee is the way to your heart - barista!remus lupin x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: a cute little romance between you and lupin has began to “brew” this winter.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟖 ||  “a husband’s guide to winter recitals” - loid forger x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬:  just how will you two sit through a whole hour of…subpar performances…

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟗 || The Christmas Chronicles: “a fish out of water” - neuvillette x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: the iudex has been around teyvat for quite some time, unable to properly understand humans, but he sees you every night, looking out at the skyline of fontaine with longing in your eyes.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟎 || “a man’s guide to mistletoe” - blade, dan heng, jing yuan

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: how would they react if they found mistletoe hanging above you both?

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟏 || ☃ The Christmas Chronicles: “All I Ask of You” - jing yuan x reincarnated!reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: he remembers you, his lover reincarnated into a new life. he cannot keep himself at a distance anymore, but oh was he happy to know that you still remember it all.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟐 || The Christmas Chronicles: “beautiful boy” - nanami x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: it’s christmas eve, and your son is asleep, and the time to play the part of santa arrives. your husband smiles, feeling rather fond of the times that have led up to his point, with his beautiful boy.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟑 || pov: he's a florist - florist!kaveh x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬:  roses are red, violets are blue, how does kaveh show…that he loves you?

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟒 || ☃ "a sugar daddy's guide to phone calls" - sugar daddy!ayato x reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: he misses you. it’s only right that he picks up the phone to indulge in your wish to see santa.

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟓 || ☃ “Make It With You” - nanami x sorcerer!reader

⤷ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: the shibuya incident has finally passed, and you two finally go on a deserved vacation to malaysia. for once, he wants to be selfish.

[intothemertensverse]

CHRISTMAS AND HOLIDAY PHIC 🎄❄️🎆

A collection of my Christmas and New Years stores from over the past years! Make sure to check the tags for ships and ratings before reading.

HERE COMES SANTA CLAWS - New pet owner Erik wants to take his beloved cat, Ayesha, to get her photo taken with the mall Santa.

THE NIGHT IS DARKER NOW - The year is 1980, and it is Christmas.{follow up to Pilgrim Soul}

MR. Y'S CHRISTMAS SURPRISE - Erik accidentally and inadvertently invents the ugly Christmas sweater.

SEASON'S SQUEAKINGS - It’s Erik’s first Christmas with Raoul and Christine, which means it’s also his first Christmas gift. (Rat AU)

AN INVITATION TO THE BALL OF THE YEAR - Erik attempts to invite Christine to the New Year’s Masquerade but accidentally walks in on more than he was bargaining for.

UNTIL MIDNIGHT - Christine asks to spend New Year’s Eve with Erik, certain that she can stay up until midnight.

A CLAUDIN CHRISTMAS - Erik and Christine’s Christmas, set four years after the end of The Nanny—Christine has a surprise gift for Erik.

I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS - The holiday season is usually a source of joy, but for Gustave it becomes a source of worry after a visit from Santa Claus.

WHAT A SPLENDID PARTY - Convinced that Christine is an unfortunate victim of the Phantom, Nadir tags along on their date to a Christmas masquerade party and ends up entangling himself in a misunderstanding.

O TANNENBAUM - Erik tries to do something nice for Christine. Also, did someone say the Christmas tree in the market square is missing? How strange.

[allthisterribledanger]

I have so many thoughts on The Tortured Poets Department / The Anthology, you guys. I haven't been on Tumblr since the dark ages but I need to find some other people who are seeing what I'm seeing.

TTPD is about the dark side of fame and the toll that living inauthentically has taken on Taylor. I think this is a bait-and-switch album that is meant to be better understood when she comes out - and I'm convinced by this album that that's coming soon. She's letting people think this album is about Joe/Matty/Travis, the men masquerading, but the subtext and double-meanings are louder than ever. She knows that after she tells the truth everyone will go back through her work looking for the clues, so she's packed TTPD full of them. She's only cryptic and Machiavellian cause she cares.

In this post, though, I want to talk about Robin.

Robin is speaking directly to her fans. She's just spent the whole album telling us that her life is a lie. Now she's singing a lullaby to the still-sleeping fans who won't understand it yet, but she trusts that someday we'll look back on these songs and know, like a childhood memory that takes on new meaning with adult perspective. (I also find it interesting that the penultimate track is a lullaby but the first one has something that sounds like an alarm clock.)

I think the title is a reference to Christopher Robin since the Winnie the Pooh stories were written for the real Christopher Robin, A. A. Milne's son. She's been making up stories for us, not just with her music but with her entire public life. Anyway, some lyrical analysis:

Long may you reign

You are an animal, you are bloodthirsty

It opens with language evocative of Long Live, a song written about her fans. I also love the image of her fanbase as a child monarch who thinks they're in charge but is actually subject to the whims of the adults scheming behind their back. (I don't think I or gaylors generally are above this, btw. We're seeing the clues she wants us to see.)

We are the bloodthirsty animals, always wanting more than what she's given us. I also think she's starting with a harsh line so we won't want to think this song is about us, despite the clues that it is.

Out windowpanes, talking utter nonsense

You have no idea

Many people gossip and speculate about her love life, but none of it's true.

Strings tied to levers

Slowed-down clocks tethered

All this showmanship to keep it for you

In sweetness

What the fans don't know about is how much she's manipulating her public image. She's been participating in the performance art of fame, creating a narrative of her personal life for us to consume, and it's put her actual life on hold. "All this showmanship" of her life has been to keep the illusion of her girl next door image, and therefore keep her fans.

But it's been done in sweetness. I think her love for the fans is complicated, but it's still a kind of love. She lied to protect herself and to keep the public loving her back. I don't think she's any more upset at the people who believed her lies than you'd be at a child for believing in Santa Claus.

Way to go, tiger

Higher and higher

Wilder and lighter for you

The fans have done exactly what she wanted them to do, brought her career higher and higher, and she's kept lying to follow that path. She's made herself wilder (orchestrating the narrative that she's a serial man-eater) and lighter (pretending to be happy) to give us a narrative.

Long may you roar at your dinosaurs

You're a just ruler, covered in mud

You look ridiculous, and you have no idea

The fans defend her from men she never dated.

Buried down deep and out of your reach

The secret, we all vowed to keep it from you

In sweetness

She must keep many secrets from the public, and she's started talking more openly about some of them in this album, but this is about the secret. One big thing she's been keeping from her fans.

You've got the dragonflies above your bed

You have a favorite spot on the swingset

You have no room in your dreams for regret

(You have no idea)

The fans have loved the stories she told them. They've got favorite songs, favorite outfits, favorite exes.

The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean

You'll learn to bounce back, just like your trampoline

She knows that she's going to get a lot of shit for coming out and that some fans will feel betrayed. But we'll be all right, and even the most upset people will move on with their lives.

But now we'll curtail your curiosity

In sweetness

She's decided to tell us the truth. That means the sleeping child has to learn some hard truths about the world, but she's done infantilizing us with lies.

Then she repeats the chorus, but the "way to go, tiger" feels more genuine. She's not humoring a child with bedtime stories anymore, but instead telling us the truth. She's being wilder and lighter by living life authentically.

Do you guys have thoughts? I'm certain we're going to be finding new meanings in this album for a long time.

[popentertainment-moviereviews]

RED ONE (2024)

Starring Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans, Lucy Liu, JK Simmons, Kiernan Shipka, Bonnie Hunt, Kristofer Hivju, Nick Kroll, Wesley Kimmel, Mary Elizabeth Ellis, Marc Evan Jackson, Jenna Kanell, Clayton Cooper, Lanz Duffy, Makana David, Samantha Benson, Ashleigh Domangue, Cody Easterbrook, Nikki Garza, Abel Arias and the voice of Reinaldo Faberlle.

Screenplay by Chris Morgan.

Directed by Jake Kasdan.

Distributed by Amazon MGM Studios. 123 minutes. Rated PG-13.

Once upon a time, in the movies, Santa Claus was just a hefty, jolly, bearded guy in a red and white suit who went about doing good deeds and distributing toys and was a good friend to reindeer. Somewhere along the line, though – probably about the time of How the Grinch Stole Christmas in the 1966 TV special – Hollywood decided to make him darker. However, the Grinch wasn’t really Santa, he was a bad guy who was masquerading as the St. Nick.

The real dark quirky times probably started early in the millennium with the Billy Bob Thornton starrer Bad Santa. But, again, this wasn’t the real Santa, it was just an alcoholic con artist running a scam as a mall Santa.

Soon enough the movies started making the questionable choices and ethics about the real Santa, though, and Christmas movies are just turning into genre pastiches. Forget peace, goodwill and joy to the world. Even the commercial aspects of the holiday, like presents, are now just getting cursory glances.

Just last year, Santa was portrayed as a dirty, homeless alcoholic who was more than willing to savagely mow through some naughty criminals in Violent Night. Now, less than a year after slasher Santa, why not make him a ripped and unpredictable action star, and slip him into a film that seems like an unholy merge of Fast and Furious, a particularly obnoxious mythological Marvel movie and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians?

Which brings us to Red One.

Now, actually, Santa is not in a huge chunk of Red One, because the film is about Santa being kidnapped just days before Christmas. This is actually a real shame, because casting JK Simmons as Santa is by far the smartest decision made in this film, even if they play up some of the wrong things about the character. Simmons has an enviable physique for a man of his age, but showing how buff Santa is goes in direct contradiction of holiday lore. Still, Simmons is the best thing in Red One, and when he is not on screen the film suffers for it.

So, if this film is only tangentially about Santa, what is it about? Well, mostly a mish mash of vague holiday ideas pureed through tired action tropes that have been done better – and made much more sense – in many other movies.

In the world of Red One, the North Pole and the toy factory are like a military operation, full of regulations, cutting edge technology, and a strange amount of odd alien creatures. (Walking talking grizzly bears, for example, or elves which look like undercooked versions of Harry Potter’s Dobby. Even the half-brother of Santa is an evil looking goat troll.)

The real stars here, though, are Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans, both slumming for a relatively easy paycheck.

Johnson plays Cal, Santa’s stone-faced head bodyguard, the leader of Enforcement Logistics and Fortification (E.L.F., get it? Okay, it isn’t funny.) He has just decided to retire from his job after hundreds of years, because of course he did. Getting ready for his final trip, he is thrown into saving Santa (code name: Red One) from an evil Icelandic shape-shifting witch (Kiernan Shipka, taking advantage of her witch experience from The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina) who is determined to take over the holiday and punish everyone on the naughty list.

Evans is Jack, a “level four naughty lister,” who we are introduced to in a prologue where when he was a child, he was charging his cousins for what he called proof that Santa wasn’t real. He has grown up to be an alcoholic, gambling, thieving deadbeat dad who also just happens to be the greatest hacker on the dark web.

When one of his hacks shows the kidnappers how to find Santa, Jack is hunted down by M.O.R.A., the Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority (lots of weird agencies in this movie). In fact, they do it surprisingly easily considering he is supposed to be an impossible-to-identify specter on the dark web. Jack is forced to help find the big guy with them, taken on a whirlwind tour of tropical islands with killer snowmen, a medieval castle that seems to have been populated by the random alien characters from the Star Wars cantina band sequence, and several other supposedly life-threatening experiences.

Not surprisingly, Cal and Jack, who are immediately antagonistic, grow a grudging respect for each other. And then, completely out of the blue, the film drops a completely gratuitous speech about love, family and the holiday spirit, because they suddenly remembered this was supposed to be a Christmas movie.

I’m not sure who this film is supposed to be for. It is too violent and has too much foul language for kids but is too ridiculous and disjointed for adults. But perhaps that is the answer. Maybe Red One is for no one.

Put Red One on the naughty list and leave a lump of coal in its stocking.

Jay S. Jacobs

Copyright ©2024 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: November 14, 2024.

[lichniche]

Necromancer Tournament

i got sick so im extending the submission period! the 15th is the new deadline!

to reiterate, here are the rules:

im not gonna define necromancy, if youre not sure if somebody qualifies submit em anyway and i will either decide or if im unfamiliar or unsure too we will hold a prelim poll

submit as many people as you want but only submit each person once

real people allowed lmao ?? but i hold veto power

no ocs (sorry)

submit to the ask box! one per ask preferable!

PLEASE INCLUDE THE NAME OF THE MEDIA THEY ARE FROM

all polls will be tagged #necromancy tournament and #tournament poll and all non-poll but still tournament relevant stuff will be tagged #tournament stuff

all polls will run for one week

NOW

here are the current submissions!

anyone in orange has been submitted by multiple people

anyone not in the no category or the maybe category is guaranteed a spot unless someone raises an objection, the orange highlighting is just informative

if you are familiar with the source material and want to dispute any of these please do. if you have an opinion on anyone in the maybe column and whether they deserve to be included please share

Magic the Gathering:

Liliana Vess

Gisa Cecani

Lim-Dûl

Ratadrabik

Elder Scrolls:

Vastarie (Elder Scrolls Online)

Mannimarco (Elder Scrolls Online)

The Untamed / MDZS

Wei Wuxian

Xue Yang

The Bible:

Jesus Christ

The Witch of Endor

Dungeons & Dragons

Acererak

Azalin Rex

Vecna

World of Warcraft:

Arthas Menethil

Kel'Thuzad

The Adventure Zone

Barry Bluejeans

Lup

Abhorsen

Chlorr of the Mask

Sabriel

Guild Wars

Zhaitan

Trahearne

Palawa Joko

Marjory Delaqua

Skulduggery PLeasant

Solomon Wreath

Lord Vile

Misc:

Henry (Fire Emblem Awakening

Ned (Pushing Daisies)

Aesop Carl (Identity V)

Xykon (The Order of the Stick)

Rasputin (real life/Don Bluth Cartoon)

Edward and Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Dorian Pavus (Dragon Age)

Nico di Angelo (Percy Jackson)

Suzie Costello (Torchwood)

Herbert West (Reanimator)

Lewis Bernavelt (The House With A Clock In Its Walls)

Neferpitou (Hunter x Hunter)

Roger de Camden (Vampire: The Masquerade)

Joshua (The World Ends with You)

Pisces Jealnet (The Wandering Inn webnovel)

Malistaire Drake (Wizard101)

Mary (Trash of the Count's Family)

Delilah Briarwood (Critical Role)

Shang Tsung (Mortal Kombat)

Kotaro Tatsumi (Zombieland Saga)

Licorice Cookie (Cookie Run)

Wasp (Archivist Wasp)

Soren Baltimore (Camp Here & There podcast)

Wendell and Wild (Wendell & Wild)

Orochimaru (Naruto)

Amors (Death and the Maiden webcomic)

The Lich (Adventure Time)

Zanbar Bone (Fighting Fantasy)

Snap & Jacks (Snapdragon graphic novel by Kat Leyh)

Santa Claus (Puppet History ? real life ? its unclear)

Watcher (DeadEndia) (comics)

Ty Blackthorn (Shadowhunters)

Dr Hix (Discworld)

Maybe:

Steven Universe

Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)

Maya Fey (Ace Attorney)

Victor Frankenstein (Frankenstein)

Sauron (Lord of the Rings)

Takuto Maruki (Persona 5 Royal)

Claudia (The Dragon Prince)

Bart Simpson (The Simpsons)

Norman (Paranorman)

The Marionette (fnaf)

Merrin Meredith (Septimus Heap)

Uni (Katekyo Hitman Reborn)

Bermuda von Veckenschtein (Katekyo Hitman Reborn)

No:

The Doctor (Doctor Who)

The Master (Doctor Who)

Harry Dresden (The Dresden Files) (decided by vote)

The Locked Tomb:

Harrowhark Nonagesimus

Palamedes Sextus

Coronabeth Tridentarius*****

Ianthe Tridentarius

John Gaius

if you are familiar with the source material and want to dispute any of these please do. if you have an opinion on anyone in the maybe column and whether they deserve to be included please share

here are my personal submissions (with duplicates included- if a submission is orange it was submitted by multiple of YOU, i did not take my own list into account)

Johannes Cabal (Johannes Cabal: The Necromancer)

Grimora, Scrybe of the Dead (Inscryption)

Militsa Gnosis (Skulduggery Pleasant)

Lord Vile (Skulduggery Pleasant)

Samhain Corvus LaCroix (Hold Me Closer, Necromancer)

Dorian Pavus (Dragon Age)

Henry (Fire Emblem Awakening)

The Necromancer (West of Loathing)

Novice Necromancer (Skyrim)

Xenia of the Autumn (Lovestruck: Reigning Passions)

Sabriel (Abhorson)

[mariacallous]

Administrators at a school in Russia’s Primorsky region have apologized for an event in which a male physical education teacher dressed up as Snegurochka, the “snow maiden” character who traditionally accompanies Russia’s version of Santa Claus, after the costume sparked a wave of complaints from local residents.

The controversial performance reportedly took place at the school’s New Year’s masquerade party, which it said it holds for younger students every year before they go on their winter vacation. After the event, according to news reports, parents began accusing the school of promoting “Western values” and writing angry comments to Primorsky Governor Oleg Kozhemyako on Telegram.

In response to the outcry, school administrators issued a statement apologizing for the event and explaining that holiday costume parties are a longtime tradition at the school.

Teachers dressed in costumes acted out stories from Soviet cartoons. The cartoon “Nu, pogodi,” which we all love, was no exception. Our physical education teacher played the role of the Wolf dressed as Snegurochka and wished the kids happy holidays. [...] There was no hidden meaning or malicious intent in the performance. Our only goal was to delight and amuse the children and to brighten up our school routine.

The local news site Vladivostok Online reported that many area residents spoke out in support of the school, noting that female teachers have played male characters at holiday parties for decades.

[morayofsunshine]

should i listen to an analysis of santa claus is coming to town or a vampire the masquerade actual play while i'm getting this work thing done

[thecraggus]

Dear Santa (2024) Review The Devil himself would seek to distance himself from this. Jack Black as Satan masquerading as Santa Claus should be the ultimate festive slam dunk, but Dear Santa ends up as tinsel-wrapped trip to purgatory.... click link to read more Read the full article

[branded-perceptions]

Society

and thus the roots of all social imbalances or systematic exploitation or collective injustices

is constructed via mental symbols🎅

that we like via the symbolic construct of Santa Claus collude to ascribe meaning to:

a mix of

stories in our minds, reductionistic sophism, identities, emotions, interpretation filters, ritualistic behaviourism

which naturally polarise because

most psychic roots of conflicts💉 are grounded in causal reality

(as less causal issues & as more satisfied the life experience for people is as less conflict-generating psychic energies emerge)

while that by us all shared realities relation🌞 to our life force naturally is neglected

behind our for its handling inevitably needed subjective sense-makings🌛 & interpretations of it

as we tend to complexify / exaggerate them in each sense-making lack of reality testing (daddy issue) in-groups'

🎶Tadow - Masego, FKJ (🔍Tadao meaning)

of psychological masks our social status / power dynamics arise upon as metaphorically described by the masquerade😷 ball dancery🎭 of fairy tale of cindarella

that via irony storytells how we as society via our symbolic convergerted motivations tend to chase social status while these same status fantasies are bent and defined by the psychological ID motivations of those who use it as shown via the obvious foot fetish of the Prince Charming and the later

[Charles Perrault’s Histoires ou contes du temps passé avec des moralités (1697)]

created sexual metaphor of glass shoe (original fur)

with contrasting help of Cindarellas stepsisters teasing reader with question if we all are motivated by our primal instincts that we project upon our symbolic convergerted status realm we construct society with and perceive ourselves through in a way that even made one of the girls in the tale cut her feet just to fit into that stupid shoe?

Don't we unconsciously act like this everywhere, like via bra(i)nde(a)d perceptions of consumer go(o)d(s) where we metaphorically try to "fit into the shoe" of our workforces' psychological ID🍌💦 motivations of profit maximisation by proxy convergerted🧭❤️🧭 upon symbolic🎅 identities🛐 we value more than our wellbeing?

[ilopisara]

18.11. 00:14 | Ilo Pisara vs FILTHY CREAM 4 - 1

Well, well, if it isn't my band of merry puck-chasers scraping by with a win that's about as convincing as a squirrel giving investment advice. Sure, the scoreboard reads 4-1 for Ilo Pisara against FILTHY CREAM—don't get me started on their name—but let's dissect this comedy of errors masquerading as a hockey game. First off, Yuri Tarde – more like Yuri "Barely There"! The defense was looser than my grandmother’s dentures during a bobsled ride. Seventy rating in defense? You're being graded on a curve! But hey, congrats on your skater points and assists; you're officially the best-looking horse at the glue factory. And Macho Fantastico? More like Nacho Average Puckhog. Those assists can’t mask the truth - two minutes in penalties? Really flexing those goon muscles there, aren’t we? Jani Saari – hat trick hero or turnover kingpin? Ten giveaways! Your generosity rivals Santa Claus himself but remember: this is hockey, not charity work! A historical context shows our performance oscillates like an overcaffeinated yo-yo player. And future implications are clear: if we don't tighten up faster than pants after Thanksgiving dinner, we'll be sinking faster than compliments at a family reunion. To summarize: pull yourselves together before our next game becomes just another embarrassing footnote in the annals of amateur sports history!

[djregular]

That section of the presentation picked out moments from UFC history to illustrate how the promotion controlled its fighters and, in some cases, used them against each other. One such incident is Gray Maynard disclosing that former UFC matchmaker Joe Silva told him to break Roger Huerta’s arm. Huerta had a fractious relationship with the UFC, going from Sports Illustrated cover-boy and main eventer to being kept on the sidelines and eventually released from the company. That slide was followed by a famous quote attributed to Silva. “If you don’t like the first opponent I give you, you sure as shit aren’t going to like the second.” The MMAFA then claimed that the UFC, thanks to their monopolization of the market place, are “masquerading as a sport while being enabled to operate as a reality show”. “The UFC’s corruption makes Don King look like Santa Claus” read one of the MMAFA’s slides.

[theothersarshi]

Hi, define "always"!

(Hi, I'm Sarshi, you might know me from my hits, "define x", "it depends", "it's complicated" and "let's do some research".)

Halloween is an imported holiday, so in order to thoroughly answer "What did people think of Halloween in Romania, historically speaking?", we'd have to hit the archives and see when the holiday was first mentioned, in what context, how it was mentioned, and how it was received.

I bet people were at least vaguely aware of it during communist times, as it would probably have been mentioned in movies smuggled in. But even if I could find a few people who watched foreign movies during those times, it's hard to interview them about their impression on Halloween back then, because it probably didn't have a huge impact for most of them, and memory's fickle; their image of the holiday will probably be influenced by everything they've heard about it since, and untangling their past opinion from their current one will be hard.

This is a fascinating topic that I'm sure somebody could do an M.A. or Ph.D. on, but that person isn't me. (But if anyone does it, drop me a note, I want to read it! Oh, oh, and don't forget the Romanian migrants who went to the US before WWII! They probably tie in somehow. And the evolution of Halloween worldwide!)

(Also, it occurs to me that, under a totalitarian regime which forbade Santa Claus and looked down on Easter celebrations, Halloween wouldn't have been a concern, as strong government censorship and ultra-conservative ideas probably coincided on this point, as well as points about, say, practicing oriental religions.)

More realistically, let's focus on post-communist Romania.

The 1990s in Romania are a pretty dark period, data-wise. It's super-hard to find anything online from that decade, including from large Romanian newspapers. My personal memory is also unreliable, because I was a kid during that decade and I wasn't exactly paying attention to newspapers and general discourse. I don't remember Halloween being mentioned in my school. Which isn't to say it wasn't, but that if it was, it was only mentioned in passing.

I've checked the archives of "Formula As", as its profile as a spiritual/conspiracy/medical advice magazine would make it more likely to pick up on anti-Halloween discourse, but their online archives only go back to 1998, and it doesn't seem very alarmist in tone. Even more recent issues don't seem particularly anti-Halloween (at least, not from an "it's bad and makes you do evil" POV).

But one of the early Halloween-mentioning articles in 2002 casually mentions a soft anti-Halloween stance not because it's satanic, but because it's foreign:

Nu inteleg insa de ce sa spunem zilei indragostitilor Valentine"s Day si nu Dragaicele sau Sanzienele, pe care, cu aceeasi semnificatie, o sarbatoreau bunicii si bunicii bunicilor nostri; de ce incercam sa imitam travestiurile de Halloween si uitam misterioasele rituri din noaptea Sfantului Andrei? Ca sa nu mai vorbesc de violentul prost gust cu iz masochist al asimilarii in turismul nostru a best-seller-ului Dracula… Toate aceste practici recente si semidocte imi dau o acuta senzatie de umilinta si-mi amintesc de felul in care salbaticii isi schimbau, pe vremea conchistadorilor, diamantele pe bucatele de sticla colorata.

Translation:

But I don't understand why we call our Lovers' Day Valentine's Day and not Drăgaicele or Sânzienele, which used to be celebrated, in the same spirit, by our grandparents and our grandparents' grandparents; why do we try to imitate Halloween masquerades and forget about the mysterious rites on St. Andrew's Night? And let's not even mention the violently bad taste, with a masochistic tinge, of assimilating the Dracula best-seller into our tourism... All these recent and half-learnèd practices make me feel profoundly humiliated and remind me of the way in which savages, during the time of the conquistadors, used to exchange their diamonds for shards of colored glass.

Ignoring the casual racism typical for people who had very little contact with the outside world except for reading adventure books written by novelists from colonizing countries, we can see there's an anti-globalization stance here. Romania was changing quickly, and the conservatives were concerned about losing our traditions in the favor of foreign and "shiny" ones.

This coincides with my memories of the time, when they tried so hard to make the 24th of February important (as Dragobete), to upstage the 14th, Valentine's Day. There were arguments about which should be celebrated, although I could swear we hadn't had either until Valentine's showed up.

So I think that might have been the predominant conservative discourse at the time.

This is also confirmed by a Softpedia forum thread started in 2006, where the two camps were "it's cool" and "fuck importing holidays". The "satanic" addition dates from as late as 2015.

(Fun fact! We've lost A FUCKTON of local culture because of communism. Our traditions and scholarship were gutted by decades of propaganda and communist pandering. The conservatives' concerns about losing important parts of who we are were legit, but they couldn't tell that the loss had already happened, as it would have been forbidden to discuss it in those terms just years prior. RIP.)

Still, there was anti-Halloween discourse in the 2000s. Some of it "satanic".

Some of it you can sort of find online, but Google is an asshole. Searching by date is shit, and sites don't show up unless you're really lucky. My feeling is that the "satanic" thing was very fringe back in the day, but finding evidence either way doesn't work well.

This is why I ended up on the Softpedia forum. It's one of the few websites that I know existed in the 00's, and being a forum, you can see people discussing topics in with time stamps and everything.

Searching for Halloween on their forum, I found a thread about MISA (local yoga cult) where someone quoted an article in which Halloween was called "satanic" as early as 2005 - but the title was going harder on the xenophobia than on satanism: "Romania and the Import of Non-Values". It has the usual markers of imported satanic panic: references to the US and CNN, "think of the children", references to drugs... But it also contained local flavor.

It mentions a few local Halloween events, such as Halloween parties, some potential school events (no names mentioned, so who knows if they actually happened), a theater play, and a 2002 Carnival of Horrors with an award for the kid with the scariest costume.

The article also mentioned the cult would organize an Angel's Week to counter satanic influences.

I tried googling it and found an Angel's Week in 2013, where the main driver seemed to be the Orthodox Church. However, the marketing of the event was the same as the cultish yogi one, with the same reasoning of countering bad influences and invoking angels. The Christians usually abhor yogis (and other "witches"), so this is... weird. Anyway.

I also checked Saccsiv, one of the ultra-extra christian god-honoring dudes on the devil's great internet. He's had a blog since December 2008, but his first "satanic Halloween" post only dates from 2013.

I also found a 2012 recording of a talk show with a priest about the "satanic Halloween". In 2014, the Patriarchy firmly positioned itself against Halloween and called it pagan and harmful, but not satanic.

I'm going to wager that the satanic Halloween panic hit the Orthodox mainstream in the 2010's, then, since I can't find anything earlier that specifically links the Romanian Orthodox Church to Halloween. However, I might be wrong. Maybe Google just sucks. Maybe the anti-Halloween sentiment was there all along and it just wasn't put into writing.

Or maybe it was a grassroots movement. A priest once explained to me that the Church is more anarchic than you'd expect; so it's not out of the question that some priests were very anti-Halloween even before the higher-ups considered giving a damn about it.

The Halloween - "hell will win" idiocy might be more recent.

You might have heard the idiotic statement that "Halloween" is a contraction of "hell will win", which any native English speaker can tell you isn't the case. This seems to be a Romanian twist on the satanism front, probably originating from people learning English from watching films and listening to music and "connecting the dots" (they didn't connect shit); with a very limited vocabulary, "hallow" isn't a word they're likely to know, and they're likely to pronounce "ween" as "win".

The earliest mention of this fake etymology seems to be in 2017: https://stefanstancu.wordpress.com/2017/10/30/in-seara-asta-vom-muri-sau-hell-a-win/. The video it links to is similarly posted in 2017, but I absolutely didn't watch an hour of crap to see the context.

Conclusion: All Hallow's Hatred

I think Halloween has three major axes on which it gets hate:

foreignness; it's not our holidays, those mf's are imposing their shit on us! (see: Valentine's Day)

monster costumes; without any background, people who are easily appalled at "ugly" or "evil" things will come out of the woodwork to protest; (I've also heard complaints about the violence of Tom and Jerry; also, some parents are appalled when kids play at being "dead" or "shooting" each other)

imported conspiracy! the US does better marketing for its ideas than any other country I've seen (and it's so easy to translate an idea; much easier than coming up with your own)

Sculpting pumpkins and having a scary holiday are appealing, so Halloween had more traction than something like Thanksgiving (a turkey? who cares?), so my theory is that a lot more people came into contact with it, and those who were vaguely bothered by it looked for reasons to complain. I believe that led to a discourse snowball from "why are we adopting this shit anyway?" to "it's objectively evil" in the span of a couple of decades, at most.

And as for the Orthodox Church being shitty and trying to indoctrinate, well, that's always been true. (for a given value of "always".)

maybe i just didn't pay that much attention to it before, but the amount of super-ultra-extra christian god-honoring and most of all, god-fearing romanians truly, genuinely believe that Halloween is a holiday for worshipping the devil is fucking astounding. was this always this way or is this just a new fad brought on by the extreme right or whoever else associated with it?? And they teach this shit to kids as well so when you want to make a lesson abt it cause it's such a huge thing in the english speaking parts of the world they get all offended and try to lecture me about how it's a satanic holiday or whatever

[thecupsmith]

So, I’ve got an idea for a sci-fi/fantasy franchise. We take a bunch of different mythologies and smash them together; say that they are part of an underground society that has been secretly running the world and each myth represents a different faction with a different set of goals, powers, and struggles.