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julien5-malfunction · 7 months

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Being any kind of h0rny is such a conflict to my inner order and values.

[Ramble fantasy about mental masochism and escapism and something like that aka I wanna be tied up and torn apart. (this isn't about sex) ]

The only way accept such states is when it has to do with masochismmm and I'm kinda having unmet needs or something, or well I do often but it has risen to the surface again.

Like then you think about stuff too vividly and it makes you twist inside, I wonder like, what would it be like IN REAL LIFE if a thought makes me squirm. Maybe the ppain on the heart would be gone finally, as these fantasies do include rather 'wholeome' and 'innocent' things happen to me, such as (1) having deep convertations that go on for ages and dissect ones soul and like really het in there an empty it out till there is nothing left to say about a topic it's such a mind fuck. It's a need.

And (2) getting my needs for physical touch met, I don't mean that in a sexual way as my orientation is asexual, but the skin starvation is real and it's wrecking me mentally. I see it as a resource to manage, like a bar to keep at a certain level to avoid pain. But the thing is, the resource is so rare. I just. Simply do not ask for a hug. I'm too discusting and uncomfortable in my own skin, I can't stand being touched, yet I crave it so fucking bad, it's so dumb. I rely on random encounters of accidental contact to get my fucking fix, it's just AAAGH. I just want to hug a dog or something and I need a good lenghty moment for that, I'm pretty sure things will get intense for me and the other party will pick up on that, if it's a human, and they'll get uncomfortable by that. Like, for some reason it's like my skin is full of sharp teeth and diagestive enzymes and it'll begun to dissolve them if I touch them, it's that bad, I'm that hungry and I wear a muzzle so I don't bite.

(3) other than, that I have the occational desire to be, first of all; in a way accepted and good enough for myself, as an requirement for this other scenario to be possibe. To be desireabe enough that someone will take an interest in me and actually want to be with me, accepting the excisting misalignments of my psysical and mental beings and best case scenario we become partners in crime. Best case scenario I'll be enough to fulfill their needs while staying withing my boundaries and vice versa.

Best fucking case scenario they're eaqually fucked up as I am and they agree to physically restrain me, tear me apart from the inside out and put it back together, like rip the mental bandaids off and clean the wounds of trauma and make me face my demons, verbally, not judgeing the sheer emotional teardown that's gonna cause in me, and I'll end un crying and my ego struggles and makes me shout back but you presist. Aknowlegement that I'm in hurting, that I'm crying, but no judgement, no yelling. I'm allowed to be in pieces on the floor, I wouldn't need to feel fear of being judged for it. And you'll have to sew it in place, some kind of 'self worth' like an organ that I'm missing, install it there like mechanical heart. Shoveing it down my throat like pills won't work, many have tried. You'll have to get your hands dirty and manually put it there. Suture me back together, maybe just once, hold me, bleeding from the seams and let me, FOR ONCE cry on someones shoulder, with no shame or guilt.

And time passes by and the sutures dissolve. The cuts grow new tissue and join. I would have gone much more quiet by then. There was no more pain to complain about. And you'll observe the ever so slight smile and ambient peace in the moments I'm quiet and thinking about the past, guestioning that, maybe, just MAYBE I'm deserving of nice things and maybe I'm deserveing of kindness and happyness and peace and don't need to feel guilty and ashamed all the time. And I'll look at you in the eyes and you can see that the surgery was a success and the pain is gone.

I'll probably ask you if we should go to the store to get incredients so we can make something nice to eat and assemble a puzzle while it's cooking in the oven. We'll have a sleepover every once in a while but we both have our own lifes too that require resources so after a while I learn to become less clingy and I won't get in the way of that.

And ofc dabble in some light bdsm, bc I'm curious! and a fucking masochist! and I wanna get to an insane level of pain tolerance physically and mentally. I'd like to say it's somewhere above what I other people have let me understand as an avrage but really, it can't be measured, so my opinion of my experience is a valid metric here and I want it high.

It's a superpower really, I take pride in it.

I just. AAAAGH. i need it i need it i need it I need to prove myself i need it to feel good about myself i like the rush of endorphines i wanna get hooked on it aahh i wanna struggle, life is boring, my life is so boring, I need to feel something , i wanna feel decent about myself for a breif moment 👉👈 like GIVE ME A FUCKING CHANCE to prove myself, that I can manage it my mind won't break under pain and I'll smile and laugh about it because it makes the rest of my shitty fucking life seem like daisies and rainbows and I think can make it trough hell and I'll find out just for fun. And I'm tied down or whatever so I can't escape and you tell me it's useless to try but it just fuels me and I try and try and try and I won't quit until I escape and I laugh at you because I did and you didn't think I could

I think it would be

so gratifying

and I'd just remember that I did that and randomly just chuckle about it and grin bc

fuck yeah I did that, I'm like that.

...I'm like that. I'm something.

#Like I just wanna have a bond like that #I wanna be tied up and dissected #Pain #Alone #personal fantazies #h0rnyposting #?#masoschism #in need of cuddles #sorry might be graphic to read

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peachdues · 8 months

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*checks ‘slight masoschism’ off on our mutual interests list*

I associate you with Sanemi (duh), expensive taste (same), and pussywhipped men (and all of the rest of our shared interests 😅)

BLESS

All of these are accurate, including the masochism

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sluttyercobra · 2 years

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NSFW prompt List

Hello so here a list of prompt for Thomas. You have three lists (one for situations/actions ; one for kink/fetish/toy, one with sentences). You can request just one element or combine elements of different lists.

If you have a more precise idea/scenario let me know. If you want something with dom/sub just let me know who should be the dom and who should be the sub or if they are switches. And please tell me how kinky you want it to be. I hope you will like the list

Warning : I don't write : anything related to SA, abusive relationship, anything with underage partner, non-consensual sex, age regression.

Situation/action :

1) dry humping

2) rivalry

3) against the wall

4) watching the other get off

5) masturbation

6) car sex

7) oral sex

8) shower sex

9) friends with benefits

10) first time together

11) jealousy

12) sharing a bed

13) awkward cheesy sex

14) after care

15) foreplay

16) gentle sex

17) sex tape

18) threesome

19) coming untouched

20) begging

Kink/Fetish/Toys

a) overstimulation

b) thigh riding

c) gag

d) impact play

e) edging

f) nipple play

g) praise kink

h) degradation kink

i) bondage

j) pegging

k) wax play

l) electrostimulation

m) geisha balls

n) cuckolding

o) food play

p) CTB

q) sadism/masoschism

r) pet play

s) sensation play

t) collaring

Quotes :

🤘) Stop teasing me so much

✨) You are in trouble now

⭐) It looked easier in movies

🌠) You did so well

🎸) Is it better now ?

😏) I like it when you are loud

🤠) Do you trust me ?

🖤) I can be good I swear

🕺) Are you already turned on ?

😀) You are so pretty

😁) You can do this

🙂) It looks so hot on you

😉) We could get caught

😊) You are silly

🥺) Please

😇) I swear as soon as we are home...

🥰) I will buy you a new one

😍) Did you cum already?

🤩) You really think we are going to fuck

😘) Can I kiss you ?

#thomas raggi #thomas raggi fic #thomas raggi x reader #thomas raggi smut #måneskin #maneskin

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fagwembley · 4 years

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Let me get it right you want to get called out? Wow talk about masoschism and playing the victim card ngl

IM GONNA CRYYYY

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hooboycrackimagines · 4 years

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NSFtK Alphabet

(Not Safe For the Kiddos)

Konosuba 3H Masterlist here!

Darkness and Ashe

MAJOR HERESY UNDER THE CUT

---

L = Location, O = Oral, V = Volume, W = Wild card

Location -

Ashe isn’t particularly daring and in fact would be outright terrified of doing it in public. Darkness is as well to some degree, though her masochism would say otherwise.

Their favorite place is the bedroom, since it’s about the only place they have sex as well.

Oral -

Darkness very much enjoys servicing Ashe by giving him blowjobs, which makes him almost cum with just how rough Darkness goes at it.

Whenever Ashe provides, he eats her out, letting his tongue explore every inch of Darkness, making her moan uncontrollably. It’s also the only time Ashe indulges Darkness in her masoschism, refusing to let her cum whenever he does oral.

It gets her wetter than anything else Ashe does.

Volume -

Darkness is EXTREMELY loud, not bothering to cover her mouth. Usually Ashe has to put a hand on her to get her muffled, which fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your POV) gets her off as well.

Ashe is usually quiet, putting one hand over his mouth or moaning very softly. However, sometimes Darkness can get him to moan even louder than she does.

Wild Card -

One time, Darkness approached Ashe after their first time, wanting to do have sex again.

Although he was blushing, Ashe said yes and gave her a smile. His smile immediately went away when she saw what she had in her hands.

...They didn’t have sex that night.

#fire emblem three houses imagines #fire emblem three houses headcanons #fe3h imagines #nsft #nsf the kiddos #crossover #Konosuba AU #darkness #dustiness ford lalatina #ashe ubert #blue lions

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