#mason would though because he’s the smarter one and he would be the one to get out of beacon hills alive

[metagalacticx]

do you guys think liam would ever abandon mason in a dead end town to go live halfway across the world be honest

[dustyisforever]

A Shadow of the Colossus Review

by DustyIsForever This is a review. It's about a video game, which is a kind of movie you watch with your hands.

In 2012, Shadow of the Colossus became the first thing I ever saved money to buy. After watching the “Nerd³ Plays” video where he calls it a “perfect game,” I began to daydream about it obsessively. I stuck the facetious label “Ye Olde Jar o Talents” on a mason jar and brought it to school so I could beg my classmates for funds. This worked, however incredulous it was, but I didn’t buy the game. I didn’t buy the game for years, and even after that I didn’t play it for at least a few months. It was like an old Russian novel to me: something that always existed in the future for which I could never consider myself prepared. And then I did play it and it was great.

You can either read it here or on a published Docs page. But be careful. It's pretty long.

This is a review of Shadow of the Colossus. It will contain spoilers. I first played the game a long time ago, but I went back to it a few times over the years. Recently I watched a close friend play it. We had some conversations about it. Soon, I’d like to see my wife play it as well. She can’t read this review yet because she is, incredibly, going to be playing totally blind. You can imagine how rare it is to play something like Shadow of the Colossus without knowing anything about it beforehand.

As I promised not long ago, I'm going to start writing essay-reviews of many games I enjoy. But first, I'd like to elaborate on my method. I have a particular framework for expressing my opinions of these games that I've developed as an alternative to a 10/10, 5/5, 40/40, 100/100, or other numerical art goodness judgment system. The aim is to provide the foolish satisfaction of a number score while cutting back on its pitfalls and biases. Number scores are unhelpful. In a 10/10 system, one finds that a 10 means that the reviewer idolizes the work, a 9, 8, or even a 7 can mean that they enjoyed it, and anything below that might mean that they disliked it, hated it, thought it was tedious, or simply misunderstood it. Opinions don’t fit neatly on a graduated, linear scale. Our value judgments are relative, as in: I liked this more than that; never absolute in the way numbers would suggest. We know this but pretend otherwise. How fun to bestow a cherished piece of art the honor of your perfect number! We're all pleased to think that our opinion is intelligent. My goal is to indulge that, but with restraint.

The first principle of my system is that I only bother rating games that I already know I love. Though there is surely as much to be learned from "bad" art as "good" art, I want to avoid negativity. Also, I find it’s easier to assign a score with restraint and thoughtfulness when a bad score isn't in consideration at all. It also means that I, as a critic, produce fewer reviews overall, which should make each review more characteristic and the overall corpus more consistent.

My second principle is that the highest number I'll use is three. Mr. Ebert was onto something when he made the alluring choice of knocking the tail off of the five-star format. It made all of his ratings look smarter. Five stars was for the common people; real intellectuals expressed their taste in the glamorous new fashion of four. Now it's my turn. I've one-upped the fallen old man, who once failed to appreciate John Carpenter's The Thing (1982). I dare to fly with merely three. And no halfsies, either. No point to it if I’m going to decide to give a game a one-and-a-half because that would be a six-point system in disguise, wouldn’t it?

My final principle is borrowed in part from Famitsu's thing where they divide scores into parts that can be treated either separately or summed. They do that with four reviewers. In my case, I cannot judge the work from the perspective of multiple people (I am only one person). Instead, I split my score into two numbers representing two priorities. That’s two numbers ranging zero to three, written X-Y. For instance, Shadow of the Colossus is a 1-2 game.

The first number, on a scale of zero to three, represents the aesthetic merits of the game. This can include everything experienced by the player. It may consider the art direction, the sound and music, and the narrative design. It also may refer to the dynamics of the design and the "choreography" of interaction, in a very formalist sense borrowed in part from Graeme Kirkpatrick's Aesthetic Theory and the Video Game. Interactive design is just as much a part of the media content of a game as the audiovisual presentation.

To be less academic—I like to summarize the first number as the question: "does it make me cry?" because it captures that it's often a sentimental thing. High-scoring games on the first number tend to be tearjerkers.

Why should Shadow of the Colossus get a one out of three in this category? Well, a one isn't really a low score in the conventional sense. My system is built to specify why a game is great. A zero would mean "this game is great, but it has nothing to do with the aesthetics." I consider Shadow of the Colossus to be aesthetically great, just not as aesthetically great as a few other games.

I like to call the other score “does it blow my mind?” to highlight that it pertains to games that impress me. Expect more elaboration when I get to the second half of the review.

When I first made up this system years ago, I tried to list a bunch of old favorites as examples. At that time, I stamped a 2-1 on Shadow of the Colossus. Mark the difference! It means that now I appreciate its technical achievement more but have tempered my feelings about its content. This change of opinion came to me when I recently watched a close friend play through the game for the first time, hanging out over her shoulder. The banter we shared dampened the emotion of the experience—for example, she already knew Agro was going to fall off a cliff sooner or later and by the time she did, it affected her more like the punchline to a drawn-out joke. I was a little offended. Her more detached play experience exposed some of the game’s weaknesses to me.

In 2012, Shadow of the Colossus became the first thing I ever saved money to buy. After watching the “Nerd³ Plays” video where he calls it a “perfect game,” I began to daydream about it obsessively. I stuck the facetious label “Ye Olde Jar o Talents” on a mason jar and brought it to school so I could beg my classmates for funds. This worked, however incredulous it was, but I didn’t buy the game. I didn’t buy the game for years, and even after that I didn’t play it for at least a few months. It was like an old Russian novel to me: something that always existed in the future for which I could never consider myself prepared. And then I did play it and it was great.

My original rating of two reflected the beautiful score and the sublime desolation of the game, which inhabited me then as it does now. When I take a walk in the woods, I am visited once more by the mystery of “To the Ancient Land.” It’s a good season in my life to return to the game. I’m in a forest often.

But unrelated to my time in forests, I’ve spent the last year thinking a lot about fantasy. I fell out with it some years ago and only recently began rehabilitating my affection for it. Shadow of the Colossus belongs to that estranged clade of fantasy, the fairy tale, which has become my favorite.

Fairy tales are mysterious but well-patterned, made from a pool of common morphologies, which folklorist Vladimir Propp called “functions” with perhaps excessive precision. A glancing comparison will hopefully show how much like a fairy tale Shadow of the Colossus really is. Propp’s functions came originally from his syntax of Russian folk stories. Shadow of the Colossus is neither Russian nor folk, through it deploys several such functions in an identifiable and properly consecutive fashion:

Absentation, interdiction, and violation all before the prologue is over

Trickery as Dormin tells Wander what must be done to revive Mono

Departure, as Wander begins the quest to slay the colossi, and various functions of the Donor, who is also Dormin

Quite a bit of struggle and branding as Wander does his colossus-slaying and dishevels himself gradually with dark magic

Pursuit (by Lord Emon)

And then the punishment and reward are cleverly reversed, because of course in this special video game that people who don’t call all video games art sometimes deign to call art, Wander was in error all along.

I think that to leave the analysis at that would be a failure to appreciate the particular flavor of this story. There are many video game stories where the player character ends up ethically compromised for some narrative effect, but the aesthetic appeal of Shadow of the Colossus is grossly different from, say, Spec Ops: the Line. Wander is more like Hamlet; he retains his hero-ness the whole way through, yet still the fate of his quest is doomed by circumstance.

What he must do is awful and painful to him, but he’s stuck on this path. The closing of the door to the bridge out of the Forbidden Lands is a literalization of this. The inciting events of his journey—the superstitious sacrifice of an innocent girl—make his goals noble from the start, and because he does not have the information to understand the cost of his deeds until it is too late, we cannot say that he is ever malicious. The player is clued in that something is wrong through visual suggestions that Wander does not necessarily see or understand, including the doves and ominous shadow-people which gather at the Shrine of Worship. These devices are not employed in any way that comments specifically on the medium of video games; nothing about them is procedural. They are very conventional vectors of good old-fashioned dramatic irony.

Furthermore, we don’t textually know at all that Dormin is evil. The antagonist Lord Emon who opposes Dormin and Wander is possibly responsible for Mono’s death. He reminds us, if we have played ICO, of the people who unjustly imprison that game’s hero on account of his “cursed” horns. Once we abandon the idea that the Lord Emon narrator/antagonist character is a trustworthy authority, we lose the only voice telling us that Dormin is dangerous. And at the end of the tale Dormin, surprisingly, keeps all of his promises to Wander: Mono is revived and Wander’s body is returned to him. He even gets his horsey back! Very sweet. And the final scenes, which play out leisurely beside the scrolling credits column, show a bright and sun-dappled garden. Mono, robed in her white gown, comforts baby Wander while surrounded by wildlife and green trees. A fawn appears. The imagery is positively lousy with symbols of innocence and spring.

And, if we’re going to permit ourselves to get biblical, isn’t it a little like a reverse Genesis? Wander follows the instructions of a higher power despite a warning from Lord Emon, who has special knowledge. As a result, a woman is saved from her “cursed fate” and the only way out is permanently closed, trapping the woman and the revived hero in the garden of paradise.

Shadow of the Colossus tells a tragic and subversive story, but it does it entirely within the syntax of its folktalesy story genre. It doesn’t have the flavor of subversiveness which comments on other works or the conventions of its own medium. To understand Undertale’s project, you need to be familiar with other JRPGs. Shadow of the Colossus would preserve its message in any medium.

This point isn’t really doing anything to bump my score up or down, but it’s a line of thinking I’ve revisited many times while writing about this game. I think that what really took Shadow of the Colossus from a two down to a one was the inconsistency between encounter designs.

My friend caught on quickly to the first several colossi, even prevailing where I remember having stumbled (my younger self was completely stymied by the sixth, called “Barba” by fans). But as the latter half of the game wore on, she spent more and more time running in circles. Numbers nine, eleven, and twelve all exasperated her. Each of them involves a special trick that must be discovered before they can be made vulnerable. Colossus number eleven, for example, is covered in armor that can only be broken by using a torch to chase it off of a cliff. But no other encounter shows you that there’s anything you can hold in your hands besides the sword and bow you start with. To even get the torch, you need to stand on a plinth holding up a brazier such that the colossus charges at you and knocks the torch loose. But my friend did not even realize that the plinths were climbable; they can only be grabbed from the sides, which is difficult to see and execute when you’re constantly charged at by an enemy that stuns you on the ground for a few whole seconds whenever it hits you. The tedium was too much, and the game lost its magic and atmosphere. The battle against the last colossus was pretty disheartening. No sense of an emotional climax came through. Instead, as I watched my friend fall over and over from its hands and shoulders and whatnot with all the tenacity of a lint-covered novelty sticky hand, I could only hope desperately that she wouldn’t put the game down right then and there.

In some moments, it’s plain to see that Shadow of the Colossus is testing the player’s patience with purpose and meaning. Each encounter culminates with Wander clutching to fur, often on the head of the colossus, holding on just long enough to get a good stab. The colossi shake and Wander dangles on, unable to get a steady hit. It’s frustrating to have to wait for a tiny window of opportunity to land a blow, but this is clearly by design. If the fight could be ended as soon as the player got into stabbing position, the anticipation would resolve too quickly. Giving the player sweaty palms, making them really clench the trigger button, serves to procedurally convey the ordeal Wander faces on-screen. You hold on (to the controller) to hold on (for dear life) in a very successful bit of hand-to-screen parallelism.

But at other times, the game slips away into pointless futility. In many fights, the trick that makes the colossus vulnerable is only effective for a short time, so the player must hurry to seize the opportunity. Often, the time window just isn’t long enough, and the player is compelled to retry, but the novelty of discovering the trick has already disappeared. The ninth colossus’s arena is huge, and when you knock it onto its side, you have to maneuver over to the far side of its body every time. It’s fiddly and protracted, and it’s a case where the game inadequately reacts to the player executing on what should feel like the turning point of the battle. It took my friend about four tries to ascend this colossus successfully. And it’s a turtle, so it isn’t even that tall. Really lame.

My own remembered experience, rooted in some British guy’s twelve-year-old YouTube video, is very different from the one shared with that friend of mine. I saw a game denuded of its majesty by our ongoing joke that Agro would be the final boss; a joke between pals on the proverbial gamer couch. A couch that, if it were not replaced in our case by the deep phenomenological chasm of several US states of distance and a Discord RTC, would be evocative of the one shared by Misters Cheadle and Sandler in the film Reign Over Me.

It’s a largely forgotten film, but consensus says it’s surprisingly well-regarded: Metacritic awards it an impressive 8.5 user score, which it labels “universal acclaim.” Adam Sandler plays a traumatized man who, after losing his family in 9/11, quits his dental career and whittles his days scootering around, playing the drums, and remodeling his kitchen over and over. Don Cheadle is his former college roommate, a successful dentist with a family, who runs into him late one night. The two rekindle their friendship and are both healed for it. This involves a lot of Shadow of the Colossus.

When Don Cheadle first sees Sandler, he can’t get him to stop and talk. Their second encounter happens when Cheadle drops off his daughter at a friend’s house. He intends to go back home to his wife to spend quality time solving a puzzle with her. Suddenly, Sandler flies by on his scooter. So instead, Cheadle gets him to stop and talk. He asks if Sandler is “practicing,” by which he means “practicing dentistry.”

“I’m practicing all the time, up in the valley. Took down twelve of the colossus so far” “The valley? What is that, is that a medical complex or something?” “It’s more… like another dimension. You take a journey, you discover yourself.” (Reign Over Me, 13:50)

He gets Sandler to sit down for Starbucks, where Sandler violates assorted social norms as per a 2007 movie’s notion of a traumatized person. Sandler acts as if he doesn’t remember Cheadle but they make conversation regardless and before you know it, Cheadle is at this guy’s apartment.

Cheadle needs to use the bathroom. Sad music begins to play. Cheadle briefly glimpses a room with furniture covered in sheets—evidence that this man once had a family. Then there’s a mournful-looking shot where the camera stares straight down Sandler’s darkened hall and distantly we see his TV. He’s climbing the first Colossus. That’s a funny thing to do if you’ve finished three quarters of the game. I guess he has more than one save file. So that he can practice more, of course.

As the movie goes on, the two intertwine into each other’s life in a conventionally dramatic way. Sandler is a broken man who throws tantrums and lacks responsibility and ropes Cheadle into a Mel Brooks marathon showing on the night Cheadle’s father dies, and in turn, Cheadle suffers various embarrassments to his career and family because he has compassion for his friend. And sometimes we get to see more Shadow of the Colossus, which Sandler often calls “Shadows” of the Colossus.

In its second appearance, Sandler is fighting the fifth Colossus—my favorite—and Cheadle takes the controller. We get a montage. He can’t put it down. Sandler teases Cheadle, he says he’s addicted (to Shadow of the Colossus). Cheadle jumps to his feet, paces around the couch in frustration: he demands one more try. He refuses Sandler’s suggestion to stop and “let it soak in,” he’s determined to get it this time. Number fifteen falls and Cheadle pumps his fist, shouting “co-lo-ssussss!” in a funny voice. The montage ends, and with it goes our brief window into an otherworld where playing Shadow of the Colossus actually looks like that.

Or, hey, that’s not so fair. Maybe, for Mr. Adam Sandler, playing Shadow of the Colossus is about practicing each fight over and over and pumping your fist triumphantly when you finally win. Maybe he got a New Game Plus save file when he picked it up on eBay that let him fight the colossi out of order. For his character—who, as I’ve neglected to mention, is named Charlie Fineman—the game is supposed to be a metaphor for 9/11, of course.

Back in ‘07, Kotaku managed to get in touch with Jeremy Roush, who worked as an editor for Reign Over Me. Apparently, the role of Shadow of the Colossus in the film was inspired by Roush’s father.

The Vietnam War left his father 100 percent mentally disabled with post-traumatic stress disorder... Unable to work, he spent the days and evenings watching sci-fi thriller Aliens over and over again until he actually had to buy a new VHS tape. "Aliens is a thinly veiled kind of Vietnam veteran kind of story," Roush explains, "and watching it is a way of thinking about it without telling yourself you are thinking about it." The movie was visceral therapy for his father… Refusing to accept the death of loved ones. Seeking out an escape from that truth. Giants falling in slow motion. "You could see where someone who was dealing with 9/11 would be engrossed by a giant that keeps collapsing over and over again," he says. Charlie's therapy was Shadow of the Colossus. (Ashcraft p.2)

Roush, who was responsible for the idea to include the game in the movie, had thought seriously about the thematics. In Reign Over Me, Charlie Fineman’s fixation on Shadow of the Colossus is a deliberate symbol of his grief, boxed into a safe and distant replica of tragedy which he can watch himself overcome again and again on the plasma TV.

Later on in the film, Cheadle manages to drag Sandler to weekly therapist sessions, but they go nowhere. Sandler refuses to speak about his family and leaves each session after just a few minutes. But he does say “I like to play Colossus!” (Reign, 1:13:29). In this movie’s understanding of mentally ill people, or at least in Roush’s, PTSD sufferers seek out proxy-triggers to act out the procedure of grieving with none of the pain. I think that I preferred the movie before I learned this. It just doesn’t make as much sense to say that the colossi are all supposed to be, like, the twin towers. Isn’t that bizarre? I mean, I had just assumed that the game was more broadly supposed to be a parallel to the ordeal of overcoming grief, and that the colossi were the grief. Grief is like a colossus, or like colossi, because it can feel so much bigger than the griever, so invincible and enduring. That’s why it was so strange to me that he never makes it further through the game over the course of the movie. In the very last scene, when he’s in his new and well-lit apartment, do you know what he’s doing? He’s playing it again, but he’s back to number thirteen. I really expected him to finish the game by the end, which would parallelize his grief struggle with a struggle to take down the colossi. It would represent something. However, the truth is that the colossus encounters are supposed to be 9/11, and he’s mentally recreating a facsimile of 9/11 every time he plays the game. Infinite, furry World Trade Centers getting stabbed by Adam Sandler over and over.

Sorry, that might have been a digression in poor taste. You didn’t expect to read a review of Reign Over Me within this review of Shadow of the Colossus and it was a little deceptive of me to jam it in there. But I thought about it so much, you have to understand! It’s fascinating to me how I could arrive at such a different interpretation of the movie than was apparently intended. The same difference goes for the game itself: Mr. Roush definitely got the gist of Shadow of the Colossus, but he applied the game to the movie in such a different way than I would have.

Let’s talk about the technical side of things instead for a short while. A nice palate-cleanser. It might seem unbalanced to devote one half of the score system to technology that is seldom appreciated by the audience—this score is more than that. Perhaps you were left confused when I didn’t explain it in much detail earlier, back when I was still laying out the way the system works. The slogan “does it blow my mind?” suggests that this category seeks to appreciate the craft of game development. A good example of something non-technological that “blows my mind” would be the dialogue system in Hades; the incredible effort of writing such a massive script and then organizing it so cleverly certainly does blow my mind, speaking as a game developer and a very slow writer.

Shadow of the Colossus is an exceptionally technically impressive game that deserves more than the 1 I assigned it on the spot so long ago. Through optimization, fakery, and creativity, it packs in the most sophisticated graphics the PlayStation 2 can handle, including HDR lighting, self-shading, long-distance level-of-detail mesh transitions, real-time fur rendering, volumetric particles, and anisotropic light scattering. Most of these practices were considered next-gen at the time of the game’s release. Some of them still feel shiny and new in 2024.

Team ICO accomplished this through ingenuity and strict scoping. Out of any of my sources, I learned the most about it here. Of particular interest to me is the usage of procedural animation and inverse kinematics, of which I’m a big fan. If you are one of the few beautiful souls in this loving universe who have read my blog(s) before, you know that I’ve been working on and off for a long time on a project that relies heavily on inverse kinematics called Flower Pot. The inexpensive algorithm I use in my own work, called FABRIK, was not published until 2011. Furthermore, Shadow of the Colossus has very complex character models and needs to clearly telegraph the movements of the player character and the colossi. For this reason it also dynamically combines animation data keyframed by an animator with the movements computed by the inverse kinematics algorithms. They did this on a CPU that clocked at about 294 megahertz (see Diefendorff).

I won’t reproduce diagrams here because they’re already available in the translated article on Léna Piquet’s website, which I linked above and which may also be found in my sources. To be honest, there is less for me to write in this section of the review because there is not much new to say. The achievements and process of Team ICO have been extensively documented and explained, much more than almost any other game. What is especially unique about Shadow of the Colossus is that much of this dissection and documentation has been done by outsiders: fans who never had access to the team or their materials.

Of particular note is Nomad Colossus. I found a Fandom wiki article about this guy. It says, “Nomad Colossus is a well-known figure in The Shadow of The Colossus community. He's most well-known for his insane dedication to the game and downright jaw-dropping data-mining” (Team Ico Wiki). Passionate! But the article has no comments. Yet on the other hand, a skim of the community message log page shows that at least a dozen users have worked on this wiki within the last several months. A tantalizing window into a community, or one of a million lost corners of the internet? I cannot rightfully say.

Nomad Colossus uploaded their first Shadow of the Colossus-related YouTube video in April of 2010, four and a half years post-release. It’s been much longer than that since Breath of the Wild came out and I’m still surprised whenever I see someone running it in an emulator. The video is titled “Shadow of the Colossus - Through the entrance,” and it shows Wander on horseback in an area normally inaccessible except in cutscenes: the north bridge into the central shrine. He rides Agro through the narrow gate passage on the other end of the bridge. The path continues into a void for a long ways, but the horse stops as if running into a wall.

Since then, Nomad Colossus has published 346 videos (if I’m counting correctly) pertaining to Shadow of the Colossus, prying at it with camera hacks, model viewers, and data manipulation. He reveals mountains and plains and islands and ruins all inaccessible in normal play. Their work, comprising so many short, uncommentated videos, can be engaged with as a companion book to the game; Nomad gradually turns the elusive horizons of the Forbidden Lands back into data, into geometry stored in a file system. Numbers on computers permit no mysteries. A number is autological; before being applied to another end it represents only itself. A number is atomic, it has no secret compartments. Through the efforts of explorers like Nomad Colossus and their emulators, no pit has been left unaccounted for on the DVD-ROM. Nomad renders Shadow of the Colossus into a wholly unmysterious object. This is not a criticism of their work.

At the same time, the game continues to support an incredible abundance of perceived mystery. After all, this was why Nomad Colossus’s work began. The so-called Secret Seekers and their famous thread on the PSN forums were dedicated to unearthing what they imagined to be the mother-of-all easter eggs. They began with intense clue-hunting and then moved on to the less speculative arts of boundary breaking and data mining, albeit after dozens of pages of effusive discussion. The intentions behind the game’s design were a favorite topic. Their style of discourse was dense with wild, associative connections; the possibility of subtextual hints by means of biblical allusion was on the table before even the end of the first post (Quest for the Last Big Secret). “Fumito Ueda is infamous for his attention to the most minute, intricate detail,” this post says. But to say he is infamous for this—does that not suggest the consensus of many people? I suspect that the Ueda these individuals imagined was not an accurate model of the real one. There was no secret last colossus, after all.

These are only a few of many voices on the internet professing all kinds of opinions about the game, its content, its intentions and meanings and forms. A quick survey will show substantial diversity of interpretation: I found a passionate review on the “patientgamers” subreddit decrying Shadow of the Colossus as “one of the worst games I’ve ever played” for its “non-existent story” and “Genuinely awful clunky movement and controls” (AstraFuckingGooGoo). In “Shadow of the Colossus: a Retrospective View,” NoobFeed user BrunoBRS calls the game “a love story, of what limits can a man go for his loved one, but it is, most importantly, the tale of David and Goliath” in a passage of lavish praise for “what he truly believes is the greatest game of all time” (BrunoBRS). The similarly-titled “Shadow of the Colossus: A Retrospective,” an article on The Boss Key, calls it “a game all about and only about killing the boss monsters as a means to an end” (Koop). “Shadow of the Colossus Retrospective– A Tragically Beautiful Love Story,” brought to us by Taylor Lyles on DualShockers, says it’s “so much more than just a boss rush game; it is the story of a boy who cared so much for someone he loved that unleashed all sorts of hellish things to save her” (Lyles). Shadow of the Colossus retrospectives are, as they say, like assholes: everybody has one. I am included. Shades of consensus and contradiction are to be found in abundance in each discussion of the game.

And what of my own opinions? They depend on a perceived counter-opinion in many ways. My revised scoring suggests how I remember my past self. In my discussion of the aesthetic content of the game, I call for a new perspective that de-emphasizes the notion that Shadow of the Colossus deliberately works to subvert a convention of the medium of video games. But couldn’t I be accused of failing to establish that this notion existed in the first place? Let me provide an example of that notion, at least. Here’s another retrospective. It has the word “retrospective” in its title. It’s called “START/SELECT: Consuming Loneliness: A ‘Shadow of the Colossus’ Retrospective,” and it was written by Mac Riga for the Georgetown University student newspaper. Here’s Riga’s take:

Team Ico sought to make a game that laid bare the contradiction of video games. It held up this beautiful medium, the pinnacle of self-isolation and escapism yet one that fosters empathy and self-reflection more than any other, and begged the player to wrestle with that irony — to come to their own conclusions about what it means to be alone, what it means to consume video games and what it means to do both simultaneously. (Riga)

This is surprising. Riga isn’t talking about the moral irony of monster-slaying in video games, which is more or less the topic of the counter-opinion I imagined myself to be opposing. But he is saying that Shadow of the Colossus is trying to engage in conversation with a convention of the medium of games, and to me that was the important part. For Riga, it’s a game about “self-isolation” and “empathy.”

Maybe it would be helpful to check what Fumito Ueda has to say. Even if you’re the type to faithfully invoke The Death of the Author, you might still agree, I hope, that discovering the designer’s intent will provide a reference against which to compare other views.

“I’ve never thought that “cruelty” is something forbidden in video games. Video games seem to require cruelty as a means of expression, and that being the case, I wanted to try and present my own take on cruelty. That was really the seed idea of Shadow of the Colossus.” (Ueda)

Here in a 2005 interview with CONTINUE magazine, Ueda casts Shadow of the Colossus as a game about cruelty inspired by the cruelty he sees as required in games. My analysis is thrown into doubt even further! It was intended as a deconstruction all along. But wait—Fumito Ueda from 2019 might be here to save me.

Was the overall aim of SOTC to question why it is that most games are about killing and how we have grown so comfortable doing so in a virtual existence? Fumito Ueda: I play games where violence is a factor myself, so I do not dismiss such games. However, through the production of Shadow of the Colossus, I started having doubts about simply “feeling good by beating monsters” and “getting a sense of accomplishment”. I tried thinking if there were any other choices for different kinds of expression, then ended up with such settings and rules as a result. Rather than try to deliberately create some sort of antithesis, I focused more on the consistency of the design as a product and differentiation (from other products). (Taylor)

Apologies for another long block quote; I really think the context is worth leaving in here because it helps to illustrate that, while Ueda is not exactly contradicting himself, different circumstances have prompted two answers with very different implications. The interviewer in the latter source seems to be aligned with the popular view that the game narrative is chiefly an exploration of morality. Which I do not disagree with, either: I should reiterate that my disagreement is with the view that the game narrative is specifically an exploration of morality in the medium of video games. The interviewer suggests that by saying that “most games are about killing.” Ueda seems to dismiss the idea by going on to say that the game was not crafted as “some sort of antithesis,” but that those themes emerged simply by trying to make a unique story. But in the former interview, Ueda asserts that he was “inspired” by the prevalence of “cruelty” in games. We are deprived of an authorial view where we might find stability; such a thing would have protected us, maybe, from the wild menagerie of contrasting views we face instead.

And could it be possible, if you would excuse the sudden break, that Reign Over Me (2007) starring Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle might not have always been actively trying to frame Shadow of the Colossus as a pseudo-Freudian stand-in for 9/11? More importantly, do we have any meaningful way to be sure? No, I think it’s more likely that suggestive forces have moved in with us permanently and that their furniture is too numerous and heavy for us to kick them out. It is impossible to speak on the aesthetics of a work, especially one so widely critiqued as Shadow of the Colossus, without necessarily speaking on what was spoken before. It is impossible to even play the game without encountering these extratextual conversations.

When I watched my friend play Shadow of the Colossus for the first time, I must have already been faintly aware of this phenomenon. The process of finding an appropriate emulator and an appropriate ROM led her through websites already saturated with extratextual content that suggested certain ideas of the game content. She had heard me speak of the game before. She had already listened to much of its music, accompanied on YouTube by comments. Being someone interested in games herself, she had certainly already encountered discussions of the game content like this one. She knew damn well that Agro would fall off that bridge. From all of this it is clear to me that the “extratext” was always inescapable. If she were to encounter the game truly without prior knowledge it would still not have “saved” her because she would just discover the extratext afterwards.

And what of my wife? My poor sweet wife? Just as no dry beach is spared from the tide, she too will be inundated by extratext that will indelibly shape how she receives and interprets the game content. She will not be a source of a “pure” opinion, but only another source of interpretation. She will never play Shadow of the Colossus as it was when it came out in 2005.

The space in consideration is a “consensus blob.” It has no hard boundaries, but it has gradients. Within the blob there are many shades of interpretation, but few overt contradictions except when comparing extremes. The blob is uncentered because there is no single “correct” or most stable interpretation. Areas of the blob give the appearance of a “consensus,” a shared notion or common interpretation, but really the gradient is everywhere and always-changing, like an amoeba. Even the creator of the art object can sway from point to point in the blob, forgetting wherever it was they started. The consensus is heraclitean. The extratext is absolutely inseparable from the text.

Really, we shouldn’t be miffed about it. Shadow of the Colossus can be about a lot of things, it’s not like we need a single definitive analysis. It will be a joy to watch my wife play, and I will be delighted to see what she thinks. I’m sure it will be new and exciting.

Overall, I give Reign Over Me a strong 6/10.

Sources

AstraFuckingGooGoo. “Shadow of the Colossus (PS4)- one of the worst games I’ve ever played.” r/patientgamers. https://www.reddit.com/r/patientgamers/comments/ujnx5q/shadow_of_the_colossus_ps4_one_of_the_worst_games/. Accessed 8 Aug. 2024.

Binder, Mike, dir. 2007. Reign over Me. Screenplay by Mike Binder. Columbia Pictures.

BrunoBRS. “Shadow of the Colossus: a Retrospective View”. Noobfeed. 27 Sep. 2011. https://www.noobfeed.com/features/160/shadow-of-the-colossus-a-retrospective-view

Diefendorff, Keith. “Sony’s Emotionally Charged Chip.” Microprocessor Report, vol. 13, no. 5.

Koop, Brandon. “Shadow of the Colossus: A Retrospective.” The Boss Key, 10 Apr. 2014, https://bradenkoop.wordpress.com/2014/04/10/shadow-of-the-colossus-a-retrospective/.

Lyles, Taylor. “Shadow of the Colossus Retrospective -- A Tragically Beautiful Love Story.” DualShockers, 26 Jan. 2018, https://www.dualshockers.com/shadow-of-the-colossus-retrospective/.

Metacritic. Reign over Me. https://www.metacritic.com/movie/reign-over-me/. Accessed 15 Aug. 2024.

“Nomad Colossus.” Team Ico Wiki, https://teamico.fandom.com/wiki/Nomad_Colossus.  Accessed 8 Aug. 2024.

Peeren, Esther. “Compelling Memory: 9/11 and the Work of Mourning in Mike Binder’s Reign Over Me.” Cultural Critique, vol. 92, no. 1, Dec. 2016, pp. 57–83. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1353/cul.2016.a617380.

Piquet, Léna, translator. “The Making of ‘Shadow of the Colossus.’” Froyok, Dec. 2007, https://pure.uva.nl/ws/files/2772150/175939_PUBLISHED_Peeren_617380.pdf.

Quest for the Last Big Secret / Mysteries of SotC. PlayStation Community Forums, archived May 2013. http://web.archive.org/web/20130505104658/http://community.us.playstation.com/t5/Shadow-of-the-Colossus-PS2/Quest-for-the-Last-Big-Secret-Mysteries-of-SotC/td-p/20178777

Riga, Mac. “START/SELECT: Consuming Loneliness: A ‘Shadow of the Colossus’ Retrospective.” The Hoya, https://thehoya.com/guide/start-select-consuming-loneliness-a-shadow-of-the-colossus-retrospective/. Accessed 12 Aug. 2024.

Taylor, Jay. “Interview Extra: Fumito Ueda (Ico, Shadow of the Colossus, The Last Guardian).” Cane and Rinse, 27 Aug. 2019, https://caneandrinse.com/fumito-ueda-interview/.

Ueda, Fumito. Interview for CONTINUE Magazine, vol. 25., 2005. Translated by shmuplations, https://shmuplations.com/ueda/. Accessed 13 Aug. 2024.

[eljeebee]

For the friends ask meme thingy, the way I'd say "please answer all questions" bc considering your interesting and wonderful dynamics for your OC's I would really want to know it all!!! LOVE 'EM <3 BUUUT, it's also quite an... amount, so I'll say 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 27 🙈

A loooong one! Thank you for the ask Evan!!!!

(4) Who's the group baby? Who has to be protected at all costs?

Answered here!

(8) Who is the one with the troubling lifestyle? Who makes sure they take care of each other?

Agents:

I won't elaborate on this one, because secret agents has enough troubling lifestyle to live with, especially with Priscilla who grew up in their organization, trained to be its weapon.

DLU:

My main families (Davises and Vanderburgs) doesn't have that lifestyle yet. 🤐

Though when it comes to troubling lifestyle, Percival has some... traits. Off-camera, Percy likes to have casual sex, hook-ups, so he tends to go to different bars and clubs. He once tried looking for another one night stand in Sanguine, but Lilith kicked him out. I know this isn't troubling lifestyle, and that there are people out there who does this, but to Valentina, it is.

Percy also likes looking for a fight, and would always come home with bruises barely there, almost healed. Valentina's worried the oath he had is still lingering there, with lust and bloodlust mixing together. Percy assures her he doesn't hear whispers anymore, and explained that sometimes Lana gets on his nerves so much he needs an outlet.

Lenora picked up on this as well, and makes sure that every time tension rises between one ancient vampire and one young vampire, she's there to remove Percy from the room. She would always ask him to help her out with the recipe she found online and from the magazines, help her in painting, and would always tell him stories from before.

Now, the fights are less, but the casual sex is still there 👍🏻 Valentina always reminds him not to bite anyone, and not let anyone injure him while having sex so a drop of blood can't seep through an accidentally bitten fuck buddy.

(15) If there is or could be a group chat, who spams the chat with memes?

Agents:

No sending of memes on official channels, as well as in private communications, because memes can also be a meme. I will not elaborate this one for "safety measures" as Priscilla told me.

DLU:

Mason Davis mostly send memes. Jason reacts with a dad joke. Sophia sends a 👍🏻 with Louie and Sid sharing another meme.

The Vanderburgs does have a group chat, but they don't send memes. More on "Margaux, your agency wants you to sign on this project, it's going to conflict on this engagement on this date, shall we skip this show?" and "Please do, Penny. Thank you."

However, Louie, Sid, Julie, Mousse, and with their newest member, Mason, has a group chat! Out of all of them, both Julie and Sid has little activity on this group chat because they tend to have a separate conversation in the chat...while the boys sends their memes lol

There's one whole group chat with the Beau-Asvangs and Strauds, created by Lilith herself. Lenora participates by sending a video of a recipe, Lilith sends memes. Percival replies back with another one. Helen promptly reacts, Caleb leaves them on read. Valentina, Vlad, and Lana will only send a message if it's something important.

(16) On a day out or a night out, who typically ends up with the bill? Is there ever arguments?

Answered here!!

(23) Who is the pretty one? Who is the smart one? Do they label themselves as anything? How do they see each other?

Agents:

The Secret Agent, The Rouge Mage, and The Handler. These were given nicknames of their colleagues, and they didn't mind so they stick with it.

DLU:

I don't think anybody label themselves as anything??? Louie and his friend group doesn't like labelling each other because each and every one of them has their own strengths. One can't be smarter than the other, because everyone has their own smarts.

Except for one vampire called Lilith Vatore where she calls the older vampires, "The Ancients" sometimes with a teasing tone, and sometimes with hidden anger when she's pissed.

(27) Is there a particular song or playlist that reminds you of them?

I think this is my weakest point when it comes to writing. I don't use songs to associate them with a person, I use songs to give myself the proper mood in writing but:

Gilded Lily by Cults reminds me of Priscilla so much. Haven't I given enough?

[shaineybainey]

There's a poll that has Mikayla Makoola vs Bree Davenport, and listen, while no one asked, the choice is obvious for me:

Mikayla Makoola - hands down

Because while Bree was cool and all, Mikayla was just great. For one, she stayed true to who she was. She didn't really get influenced much by the people around her, and she didn't seem to have the need to people please. Throughout the series, she grew in multiple good ways as a person.

Also, while she could clearly handle combat a whole lot better than Brady and Boomer ever did, she didn't turn it into a competition.

Matter of fact, she and Boomer, the only two people who were there throughout, never became competitors. They actually became better friends who relied on each other even during war time.

Meanwhile, Adam, Bree, and Chase are always at each other's throats, ESPECIALLY during times of trouble. (And don't say, "All siblings are like that!" No. No, they're not.)

And look, this is gonna irritate some people, but y'all gotta blame the writers rather than getting upset with me: the Davenports (minus Tasha and Douglas) are just a disloyal bunch, period.

Yes, it's been years, and yes, I need to stop bellyaching about it, but it was just unreal. If someone was to save my life more than once? And s/he remains a great friend to me through thick and thin? Oh, you bet that person's always gonna have a seat at the table. I'm not gonna feed that person to the dogs at the first chance I get of being in power!

What kind of toxic?

Meanwhile, Mikayla, though she's definitely weirded out by the triplets, and though they get on her nerves so many times, she remained a great friend to them. Actually, she and Boomer were best friends when the series ended. I imagine they would still be the same up to this day.

And look, if she and Mason wanted to, they really could have usurped the kingdom. Brady and Boomer were so gullible that Lanny was able to trick them into doing all sorts of things that could have really gotten them killed and got Kinkow in trouble. He got pretty close sometimes to taking the throne for himself.

Mason and Mikayla are smarter. If they wanted to, they could have done it! They know the island better, have better rapport with the Islanders, are better fighters, and they already have the trust of the twins.

Overthrowing them would have been easy!

But they didn't. Because they're good people. And they had the patience (albeit begrudgingly) to wait on Boomer to grow into his full potential.

And you know what? He was getting there! He was still pretty childish by the end of the series, in all honesty, but he was really shaping up to be a great king!

Mikayla was there for Boomer through thick and thin, too. And he was there for her.

The Makoolas were just great people, man. Mikayla was a fantastic young woman who had her head on straight and who was always ready to defend her country, her family, and her friends.

So, yeah. Mikayla's the obvious choice for me.

[blueby-blueby-blue]

Hey, Blue? Why do you hate Mason so much? He seems like he’s just trying to help. I mean, I know you don’t need help because you are Blue and you have your dad and all of that. You are really awesome. But shouldn’t he help other pets?

I’m sorry if this is rude. I want to understand. Please please please keep being my friend. I would miss you and be angry at myself if this caused us to stop being friends. So please still like me.

- @oh-golly-ollie

No worry Ollie gollie bolly Blu would never be angry at friend for trying to understand things or learn and grow.

U know who would??

MASON.

Mason 5k subs is indeed not as bad as visibly evil mean master who chop blue out and make blue beef and hurt and all but he not good.

Mason like an dad who refuse to accept his kids can grow and become their own people. Mason looks at pets and sees things he can easily control.

He loves pets as long as that is what they are.

And he loves that he has whooooole system to back him up. But he'd break be angry and scary and mean if you defied.

Because then he loses control.

He refused to believe blue is smart boy and has big brains and cohesive thoughts and sees though his little mask. He refuse to see any pet is that and will ever amount to anything because mason self esteem be looking at pets and thinking "oh I'm soooo much smarter than they are and they are soooo worthless and helpless without big mason to be here and protect their fragile little dum dum pet minds"

And through mason 5k subs lil compliance things he helps keep system in place, that makes people suffer and be hurty.

It's okay if friend Ollie doesn't understand it yet. Takes time. Takes so os much to see subtly mean things when life is o so much pain.

But its never just the big scary guys with whips. It's also a million other 'not so bad ones' keeping it going too.

@just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi hi Mason u poopoo stinky.

[masonxxbrick]

Launch - The last time the three Brick brothers would be seen together

Mason was far from ready for this. He hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. Any time he had attempted to close his eyes and fall asleep, bad imagines would appear his mind. He didn't want to see them, they terrified him too much so the easiest solution had been to stay up. The urge to climb into one of his brother's beds was there but was he too old for that? Would they turn him away just like their parents had when he was a kid? Deciding to get as close as possible to them, Mason sat in the hallway between Smith's door and Miller's door. There, he stayed up and stared at the wall in front of him. Time passed quicker than expected but maybe that was because he just wanted it to stop.

Before he knew it, it was morning and Mason was walking with his two older brothers to the hovercraft. The youngest brother stayed quiet. For once in his life, he had nothing to say. No stilly jokes, no bright sides or uplifting quotes, and absolutely no giggling. His features stayed completely blank though his heart raced and hands trembled.

The brothers had then made a stop and Miller turned to face them. Though, Miller grabbed Smith and pulled him in as he spoke to him. Mason couldn't help but watch in awe, feeling his eyes began to tear up a bit. All of this time for the last two years, this was what Mason had wanted. His two brothers to talk, to hug .. to get along. This is what they deserved. Miller and Smith deserved to be happy and to be with each other. To make up for lost time while Miller was struggling and Smith took it badly. How could Mason win and take that opportunity away from them? He could die happily knowing his brothers were close again.

He quickly wiped his tears away before hugging Miller back, tightly. He listened closely his words. I’m gonna be okay—so long as you do your best to survive in there. "I-I will, I swear." There was also relief that washed over Mason as Miller admitted that he would in fact be okay. He believed it because he just really wanted it to be true. Mason wanted Miller to be okay no matter what the outcome had been. You’re better and smarter than you think. This caused Mason's eyes to water more and he hugged Miller even tighter. Just hearing that from his older brother gave Mason more confidence. "T-thanks, Millie."

There was one final hug. One final triangle that was formed by the Brick Brothers. Mason hugged Miller and Smith and wished he could remain that content forever. This is the feeling that was going to get him through the arena. If he felt scared or hurt or helpless, he would think back to this moment.

Mason, with Smith at his side, was finally escorted to the hovercraft. The youngest brother looked back at Miller one last time. "T-take care of yourself! Eat! Sleep! Breathe!" He had barely gotten the last part out before being pushed into the hovercraft and into a seat. It didn't take long to fill up and the tributes had been brought to whatever destination.

Once there, Mason and Smith had been separated again. Mason was put in his own room where he quickly had to get dressed and pull his shoes on. He looked at himself in the mirror and couldn't help but make a face. This outfit wasn't him but he had no choice. Looking down to see it in person, he ran his fingers over the colored line that ran down his body. "Cool blue." He whispered to himself. 30 seconds till launch. Mason jumped as the robotic voice had warned him. Taking a deep breath, Mason shakily walked into the tube and crouched down for a moment. This was it. The day he had feared since he was a small child was finally here. Was this all a nightmare? Would he finally wake up now that he reached the worse part of it all? Quickly, Mason pinched at his arm hard. "Wake up, wake up, wake up." He mumbled to himself as he pinched harder. But, it was no use. He was already awake.

The tube began to move up and Mason quickly stood up to keep himself stable. "I can do this." He whispered to himself.

He had no choice.

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2022!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

___

311. Princess in the Spotlight by Meg Cabot--⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read December 2022. I'm excited to be re-reading this even more now because I don't think I've ever gone past book 2! Mia continues to grow a bit as a character, even though the adults around her continue to be unaware of how everything is truly affecting her. I did like seeing a certain moment that redeemed her best friend because of her actions. Also, still a little weirded out by how Michael is 18 and she's 14. That's...yeah.

___

312. The Lightcasters by Janelle McCurdy--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Another amazing MGLit fantasy title that I will be more than happy to recommend to my younger customers! I loved the adventure in this and how the story flowed so well that there were never any boring moments. There was always something happen and I couldn't get enough of it. I loved the concept and the fact that these kids have so much responsibility despite the hurdles they face. I think stories like this have so much potential because we only got to explore one small section of the world. I want to see what these characters accomplish in the future books (which I will absolutely be checking out when they come out!) The only thing that threw me off is that one of the characters is four and he didn't act like a four year old? I'm always commenting that kids are smarter than people think they are, but save for a few mispronounced words, this four year old sounded like a nine year old. That's the only thing that was a little jarring. I'd recommend this to readers who like road-trip style fantasies where the characters are forced to go on a journey; readers who enjoy stories where the fate of the world rests on the shoulders of the MC; and anyone who likes seeing MCs befriend and connect and magical beings/animals.

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313. Lore Olympus Vol. 2 by Rachel Smythe--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Sigh, this series is so good. I'm mad at myself for taking so long to finally start reading it. Listen, questionable decisions were made by certain characters in this volume, but Hades can still get it. Why is he drawn so....damn. Anyway, I agree with Smythe in their commentary near the end before the bonus story about how one particular chapter is their best work yet. That whole letter writing scene (not a spoiler) was gorgeous but also portrayed so much emotion. I sometimes just want to give Persephone the biggest hug.

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314. Lore Olympus Vol. 3 by Rachel Smythe--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I love this series so, so much. Even more-so after reading this volume. One can just tell when the chemistry can't be ignored. Whenever the two of them are on the same page, the attraction just jumps off the page. Pity for those outsiders who think they have any power or control when it comes to this budding romance. That conclusion made me smile the biggest smile even though everyone knows that they're endgame. But I especially love that in this one, one truth comes out and Persephone hears some absolutely solid advice. My heart aches just thinking about this series and I want to look up the series that the author has posted online.

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315. The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TW: Transphobic and Sexist commentary. Deaver does it again with their newest YA romance novel! While I still LOVED their first book the most, this one dealt with some important topics when it comes to identity, how we judge before we know someone, and how we can sometimes misinterpret a situation when we are surrounded by self-doubt and the belief that age is a factor when it comes to whether love can be felt or not. I loved the budding relationship between the MC and his roommate. I loved watching the judgmental MC learn that his words and actions have consequences, and that maybe communication would go a long way to better understanding both a situation and oneself. This one was a bit interesting reading it as an adult because I could see the MC's pain when he is visiting his family, but I could also see the situation from the mom's POV (except for one glaringly obvious situation where I think she failed as a parent). This helped round the story out a lot more because I think that if a reader were to re-read this book, they would notice the moments where that anger towards and characterization of certain characters could be something that is more nuanced than just initial interactions. That's all to say that I, again, enjoyed another Deaver novel and I can't wait for their next one!'

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316. We Are Not From Here by Jenny Torres Sanchez--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

TWs: R@pe, Death and descriptions of death and gore, Teen pregnancy, Bullying, Grief WE ARE NOT FROM HERE is an incredibly difficult book to read. It is unapologetic in its portrayal of trauma, the violent realities so many people and children face, and the brutal journey some have to take in order to escape even worse living situations. This book is truly not for the feint of heart and I'll be honest, I am very surprised it was YA (even though I think it is very important that it is a YA title). The only reason why I'm not giving this a full five stars is because of one character that frustrated me. I understand that they're just a child, but I just felt so much frustration because of their actions and lack thereof. One of the impactful things, however, is that this character helped showcase the patience and love of the other two characters. This character also showed us that while this book has many heavier and more adult-themed topics, it is a book for younger readers at its heart (the innocence, the naivety, and the wish to just go home.) If you're looking for a powerful book about the dangers of this kind of immigration story, then I think this should be added to your list. I cried, I laughed, and I hoped for the best for these poor kids who just wanted a safer, new life.

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317. Amari & the Great Game by B.B. Alston--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I loved the first book in this series and I was happy to finally pick this one up! While I enjoyed it slightly less than the first book, I still had a great experience following Amari and her best friend as she tried to solve a mystery that begins early on in the book. One of the things about this book is that it made me so mad for Amari. I was surprised to see that the word "racism" wasn't used in the tags because this book features it so heavily--especially with the comments alluding to her race, both in skin colour and the type of magician that she is (which was also a theme in the first book). This book is one of those books that is a fantastic adventure for younger kids, but also, an allegory for older readers. Amari is a powerful Black girl who faces some serious prejudices in a fantastical world--showcasing that even magic can't save you if you don't fit the "societal [racist] standards". Anyway, this series is awesome and I think anyone can read it. It's a great teaching resource as well as a great adventure for kids, and a great reminder for older readers!

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318. Uphill by Jemelle Hill--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

One of the greatest things I've done with my reading this year is introduce myself to memoirs and autobiographies. I love learning about different people that I would never learn about through any other means than a book. I love reading about experiences that others have had because it has helped me widen my understanding of how others see and experience the world. UPHILL by Jemele Hill was one of those books that will stand out for me long after 2022 is gone. Her memoir sits on a mental shelf starting to fill with powerful Black women who have succeeded despite the world being so strongly against their success, and her words of justice and her refusal to cater to others are now added to my growing sense of awareness. Hill is a woman who had an extremely complicated relationship with her mother, who also had a difficult experience with her own mother. Despite the poverty, her mother's drug addictions, and the racism that Hill faced, she came out on top. She pursued her dreams and broke the generational trauma that she was raised in. Her story is incredible and seeing her form connections and meet people who either helped build her up, or tried to knock her down, is inspiring. I especially loved seeing when her sassiness and no-nonsense behaviour slipped onto the pages. Let's just say that listening to her life story told in her own voice was a treat. I'm becoming more critical of memoirs and autobiographies, but this one was just such a fantastic and eye-opening read. Please be aware of the TWs since there is mention of r@pe, sexual assault, racism, victim blaming, and physical abuse.

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319. Jackal by Erin E. Adams--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

From the get-go, JACKAL made me incredibly uncomfortable. It wasn't like in a way where I couldn't read the book because it was deeply enthralling, but in how it handled certain situations and presented the realities of small towns that flirt with the concept of being a sundown town. The overt racism was palpable. The fact alone that it is Black girls that are going missing made this even more terrifying because of how much it mirrored missing cases that are happening around the world (especially when we look at how many BIPOC girls and women go missing and the police and media do absolute shit-all.) The paranormal aspect of this was, in my opinion, the most fictitious part of this story and helped with the uneasiness I felt while reading this book. The MC is treated in such a way that the gaslighting could have set fire to the whole town. I didn't know who the villain of the story was going to be, but I did know it would be someone I wasn't expecting. This book also touches on that "One of the good ones" theory because of how the image of the missing young girl who is mixed white and black is treated by the people of the town. There is even a moment where the white mother refuses to acknowledge that her mixed daughter shouldn't be grouped with the other missing Black girls because she isn't the daughter of drunks or drug addicts. That in itself shows the otherness that can happen when a child is mixed and one of the parents is white in an extremely white town. JACKAL was creepy and uncomfortable and deeply enthralling. There is this sense of dread that lingers on the pages and you just absolutely NEED to know what is happening to these poor young girls and why they're being taken. This book, however, is not for the feint of heart. Be aware of the trigger warnings.

___

320. What We Saw by Mary Downing Hahn--⭐️⭐️.5

I don't really much to say about this one. It was surprisingly short and not at all what I was expecting. First of all, with a cover like that, I never thought that this would be more of a middle grade book (considering how old the characters are). I think this book could have used more fleshing out of the story--I think it could have been more compelling if we got to learn more about certain characters and had more time to grow attached to the characters that betrayed the MC and her best friend. I think some aspects were a little random and some of the choices made were really dumb (even though I know I always have to remind myself that these are children.) I did like the ending and how realistic it was for it to end the way it did. These characters are so young and are just learning who they are and who they might become. Of the whole book, I think that was the most realistic approach to these characters. If you want a quick thriller and if you're looking for a thriller for the younger readers in your life (no younger than 12 because some of the topics explored), then I think this one might catch their attention.

___

Happy readings!

[millerbrick]

final answers and conditionals

launch of 133rd Hunger Games

It was far from over. If anything, perhaps it had just begun. From this point onward, every move was even more crucial—more critical—than before. Every word exchanged, every decision made, every action taken had to have purpose. It was far from over, but there was no going back after this.

Though, to be completely fair, had there ever been a time where they could have gone back?

Destiny was a punitive, restrictive concept. Miller wasn’t one to philosophise, didn’t find that particular shape of contemplation productive, but if he had to, he wouldn’t put much stock in the concept of destiny. If everything was predetermined, what was the point of anything?

There had to be something he could do yet. He had failed one too many times, but it was not over.

The fact remained; after this, he would not be seeing at least one of his brothers in the flesh, alive, ever again.

He pulled Smith in first. There had been a time, for a little over two years, when it had just been the two of them. It was Smith who had first taught him that life at home didn’t have to be so lonely. It was Smith who had first given him purpose. “You don’t give up on yourself, you hear me? I haven’t given up on you,” Miller reminded his brother, speaking right in the boy’s ear. “I promise I’ll have my shit together—as long as you don’t give up on yourself.” It’s not over, regardless of the reason Smith had volunteered for. Miller couldn’t think otherwise.

Then he moved on to Mason. Miller had always thought of his youngest brother nothing short of miraculous. It was Mason who had taught him that, in spite of the world they’d been born into, staying kind and gentle was possible. Perhaps Mason was living proof that there was no such thing as destiny. “I’m gonna be okay,” Miller whispered as he held his brother. “I’m gonna be okay—so long as you do your best to survive in there. You’re better and smarter than you think. You just have to focus and-- and be brave, okay?” Did Mason believe it? Because Miller did.

It's not over, but Miller was acutely aware of what he was doing. He was trying to provide his brothers with some final answers.

One arm remained holding Mason while the other pulled Smith back into the huddle. “Take care of each other. We’ll send you everything you need, so don’t worry about that. I won’t-- I promise I won’t abandon you.” I never meant to. I swear I never meant to.

In barely any time at all, they left. The hovercraft lifted them away past the point of no return. Miller tried to fight the feeling that he was the one being abandoned.  

Nevertheless, there were no tears shed on his part. He couldn’t afford them. Not in front of his brothers, who needed his strength and confidence. Not in front of the onlookers, the other team members and sponsors and tributes, who hungered to glimpse weakness. His jaws set, his shoulders squared.

Just how much did he look like his father now?

A city was revealed, peculiar and abandoned. Smith immediately got into a scuffle. It was nothing short of expected, Miller had, too, in his Games. It didn't make watching any easier. Meanwhile, Mason managed a cleaner escape. They both made it out of the bloodbath eventually, alive but not together. Miller had to remind himself to breathe. There was plenty of time yet, plenty of grounds to cover. They would find each other. He knew they would.

His hand squeezed the fresh tattoo on his arm; the same three triangles that Smith and Mason had on theirs. It had been their idea to sneak out of the tower and get them, and Miller had been pleasantly surprised to have been included at all. The pain was welcome, because when had it ever not been? At least this time, even when it subsided, he would still be left with the lifelong mark.

There was no going back and it was far from over. The fact remained; the three of them would be forever changed. They probably had been.

Still, he wasn't about to just sit on his hands. While his brothers fought in the arena, he was going to do the same for them—and for one of them, it would be the last time that Miller could. There had been promises made and promises to be kept. Something as shapeless as destiny would not dictate this for them.

[julianrchandlerx]

“Well I gotta look and sound the part, right?” Julian joked, shaking his head. He could sometimes come across as not the brightest crayon in the Crayola box, but he was a lot smarter than he gave himself credit for. He liked to pull it out every now and then in the things he said, he supposed. Julian frowned as he thought about the throwback-one-hit-wonder story. “Yeah, that’s kind of poor judgement on their end… I mean two years doesn’t really constitute ‘throwback’ by any means. I could maybe cut them slack if they were requesting ‘Baby’ by the Biebs, but even then it isn’t, like, a one hit wonder, which is the other theme…” He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he thought it over before nodding seriously, “I think you were in the right to shoot them down, and I’d go as far as to say it’s kind of ridiculously petty for them to hold that against you now, but, ah — that stays between us.” Julian winked at the other, not about to get on his coworker’s bad side for agreeing they were in the wrong.

Blue eyes wandered above momentarily, taking in the sky above them. Springtime showers could be so unpredictable. He silently hoped it would rain soon. “The second it starts raining, I’m going to do it. You’re right, though. There’s a reason a thing is deemed cliché — it’s because majority love it.” A shy sort of grin took to Julian’s lips as the other complimented him. He wasn’t exactly bad at taking compliments (well actually he was) but he wasn’t quite used to talking so openly about the artistic aspects to him, not for a long while anyway. Julian purposefully put a stop to all of that in his teen years and early adulthood, trying so hard to appease his father and the image the man had of him. He wasn’t used to sharing these skills and taking positive reception for them. He supposed it was part of this new him he’d come to Lunar Cove to pursue. “My mom tried to cultivate that in me; she always wanted one kid to share that love of art and music with and she got it with me. I don’t think my dad cares too much for it, but… Well, I hope he knows.” If Julian was going to succumb to some cruel fate in this town, he really hoped deep down his dad felt some sort of pride for him. Call it a dying wish. “But I mean with enough patience and a fine instructor, anyone can become an ace at the piano. It’s a learned talent, ya know?” He downplayed it a little as he went back to the drawing, pulling out a brush pen and some gray toned alcohol markers to add fine details and depth to the drawing. He nodded along knowingly when Mason brought up the radio show they worked on, his grin growing from ear to ear. He listened to the radio while painting in the afternoons or his days off, always needing a bit of background music to help pace himself. “Yes, okay, I have definitely listened to your radio show before! You did a like ‘people on the street’ type segment recently, right? Asking people what their hidden talents were… What’s your favorite response you ever got from someone while doing your radio show?”

“A careful dance in –” Was all Mason managed to repeat before letting out a low whistle, “Dammn you got all the fancy terms and line work, just like an artist would say!” Maybe they had given the other a hard judgement, a glance went behind their shoulder but seeing them busy with someone else, all Mason could do was let that go as he didn’t actually sense any bad vibes. “Right! Thank you, you get it! Okay, well, it actually wasn’t terrible terrible, but like the theme was throwbacks and one-hit wonders right and they,” Mason closed their eyes for a moment to gain composure, “Dude they asked for a song from two years ago! Like how is that a throwback? And they expected me to stop Cotton Eye Joe for Bieber? I wish Bieber was a one hit wonder.” Judgement for this was not something Mason would take back, choices like that that dared to ruin their day like that, rejection of request was the right choice. 

“You gotta! It’s like the first snow of Winter, there’s just something so sweet about it! I think clichés get a bad rep sometimes. There’s nothing actually wrong with them, ya know people just hate because what they’re cliché.” With a scoff Mason shook their head but disappointment only lasted a short while as the memory was shared, making them smile warmly across to the man. Just like how they had pictured the artist to develop the image with each line, the more Mason listened to him the clearer his aura seemed to become, growing lighter from a muddled blob of grey to the main energy colour, which Mason looked forward to seeing. “That’s so lovely, do they even realise the talent you have damn, like art and music!” Though they had music, Mason did not have the skill or dedication required for art, their talent started and stopped with random swirly doodles and stick figures. “I work in radio! If you ever tune into Siren Sounds around late afternoon, you’ll catch the M&M show, I’m one of the M's!”

[betbeton]

HELLO!!

I also thought of this one, bear with me because I’m gonna be giving more crossovers 😭😭, you’re a great friend, im beyond grateful for you doing these requests, feel free to decline if likely <3

Can you do Any Tpof Characters you can think of(But add derek goffard XD) with a S/O who has a Arataki Itto Personality from Genshin Impact??

Thanks a lot :)

Various × Arataki Itto Reader

18 + Below Cut Minors DNI

· GN Reader ·

· A/N - ah arataki itto my beloved--

i am loving these crossover requests! i did the main three, but can do more if you want! I'm also so grateful for you requesting things ♡♡! ·

⪧ Mason Heiral

You were most likely one of his earlier victims that he bought

Your kind soul wore him down-

He would treat you like a stray cat

Leaves you out food and makes you stay in when the weather is harsh

Your lack of tact in the intelligence department irritates him sometimes

But he is willing to ask you multiple times to use your head more before he takes you to the axe block ♡

His favourite thing to have you do is charm and give his prey a sense of hope right before he strikes

Only if they don't seem like they'll make for a decent hunt- otherwise he locks you inside his cabin like a naughty dog

Over all you aren't equals and he isn't shy about reminding you of that fact,

but you still grew on his heart like a fungus so a win for you

⪧ Celia Lede

You most likely ran off with her after killing her husband

You're her little mouse she loves to torture

Doesn't allow you to eat at the table or sit near her, your place is beneath her - the floor-

Even though she does adore her sweet kind hearted little mouse she still brings home victims when the opportunity arises

She is also not one to give you a moment to think,

she expects her pet to be smarter than you naturally are so better apply yourself

Lives vicariously through you when it comes to eating sweets and other unhealthy things, hopefully you have a strong stomach

Overall she treats you like a dog, even makes you sleep in a crate if you irritate her enough

⪧ Derek Goffard

You're most likely the person his father set him up with to keep up appearances

A kind hearted somewhat slow person

The imperfect match for his violent and self centered attitude

He would probably be the harsher of the three when dealing with you

Berates you for you lack of wit and regularly speaks down to you

Despite you being used to keep up appearances he isn't above abusing you if you irritate him enough

He enjoys isolating you since you're so kind and friendly the desolate look in your eyes after a week locked in a room makes him feel some type of way.

Overall he doesn't even entertain the idea you two could ever be equals

You are his property to use and hurt

Though he would never take you as his contribution to the yearly desert trip

[princeescaluswords]

To the Wordy Anon

To the person who sent me a very long anonymous question, I will answer it here. You said certain things that I want to address, but you also said certain things I didn't want to address, so I'm extracting information here.

1. I don't "ship" Scott and Allison. I talk about Scott and Allison because it actually happened on the show. I would have liked Scott even if he never dated Allison; I would have liked Allison even if she never dated Scott. But they did, and it wasn't obsessive though it was flawed. Those flaws prevented it from lasting, and one of the best things Teen Wolf ever did was let it end.

No, "shipping" Scott and Allison doesn't do a thing for minorities. What does something for minorities is not allowing a racist fandom to attack it by using racist and sexist stereotypes, most specifically the 'obsessive, overly passionate Latino' or reducing Allison to a passive object in her own life. I've decided that it's important to me not to let fandom use socially harmful ideas to promote something that never happened.

2. You're right, I've never gotten upset when people have said that Lydia is smarter than Scott. But then again, I've never gotten upset when people have said that Stiles is smarter than Scott. Intelligence is too complex a phenomenon for that to be remotely useful in enjoying a piece of media. I've gotten upset when they've said Scott is dumb. I've gotten upset when they've called him a potato. I've gotten upset when they say he moons after girls instead of doing his homework or that he can't hope to be anything more than a nurse or a vet technician and not a doctor or an actual veterinarian.

Because they don't really care about Scott's grades or whether he's equipped to make the right calls in his battle against the villains who want to turn Beacon Hills into their own personal slaughterhouse. No, they focus on his supposed lack of intelligence to justify the fact that Stiles should be in charge or that Derek or Peter should remain alpha. They employ the "lazy, uneducated Mexican" stereotype in an attempt to erase a kind-hearted, courageous Latino hero and replace him with the nearest sassy white man.

3. Stiles was quite a bit more than the 'comic relief.' Scott had just as many jokes and pratfalls as Stiles had, and Stiles had plenty of emotional depth and angst. Your problem isn't that you want to see Stiles as more than the comic relief; your problem is that you want to see Stiles as the lead protagonist, and he's not. People like you are desperate to have something that wasn't on the screen, and every single one of those youtube videos you mentioned are focused on one thing -- taking Scott's position as lead protagonist away and giving it to someone else. Here's an idea -- why just not watch the show? If you're so offended that Scott is the heroic lead protagonist, don't watch the show. Don't read my commentary on the show. Find some other show where white men are the hands-down lead. There's plenty.

4. And the difference about Sterek? STEREK WASN'T REAL. There was no romantic relationship between Stiles and Derek. And the show didn't need one. There were good relationships and there were bad relationships and there were straight relationships and there were LGBTQIA+ relationships in actual combinations that actually happened. You don't need Sterek for representation. You don't need Sterek to make the show "better." You had Scott and Allison, and Stiles and Malia, and Scott and Kira, and Stiles and Lydia, and Mason and Corey, and Danny and Ethan, and Ethan and Jackson, and Emily and Caitlyn, and Lydia and Jackson and Derek and Braeden.

You can spend all the effort you want on daydreaming about Sterek. Have a blast! But this obscene need to make Sterek the premier relationship for Teen Wolf leads to take a huge old shit on every other actual aspect of the show. Mason and Corey were together for longer than any other romantic relationship portrayed on the show, other than Scott and Kira. If you didn't like it? That's your choice, but you don't get to say it's invalid as compared to a ship between two white men who never even expressed one ounce of sexual attraction toward each other.

[theheightofdishonor]

Teen Wolf triads are something that can be so personal, so here’s a list of my faves 

Scott/Stiles/Allison

The OG trio. The gang that dies together might not stay together, but they’re still iconic.

Scott/Stiles/Lydia

Any Scott/Stiles/X dynamic is brilliant, but few more than this one. These three have been there since the beginning and they’ve gone through so much together. There’s no Teen Wolf without them. 

Scott/Stiles/Derek

They were the driving force in S1&2 and had some absolutely iconic moments together. Hate that there wasn’t more of them after that. 

Scott/Derek/Isaac 

Mostly based on S2/3. I was very invested in Isaac’s struggle to pick between these two. 

Scott/Stiles/Isaac

This triad’s dynamic completely changes between S2 and 3. In Season 2, Isaac, as part of Derek’s pack is a slightly antagonistic figure and it’s very much Scott&Stiles vs Isaac but in S3, Scott and Isaac grow closer while Isaac and Stiles erm, don’t. It’s very fun to watch. 

Scott/Isaac/Allison

My ot3 and the only trio on this list that I 100% ship. 

Isaac/Erica/Boyd

Ayy, it’s the OG Hale Pack aka 3 teens bonding over being thrown headfirst into something they weren’t prepared for and Derek’s horrible leadership. Isaac should’ve ran away with Erica and Boyd for solidarity’s sake. 

Chris/Allison/Isaac

Chris’s struggle between hating Isaac for dating his daughter and wanting to adopt him is hilarious. One of my favourites. 

Scott/Melissa/Isaac

 Who didn’t completely melt at Isaac joining the McCall fam? The scene where they’re ‘guarding’ Melissa was so cute. As a bonus, it made Stiles’s animosity towards Isaac that much stronger. Will forever hate that this trio was more or less non-existent in 3b even though I love Chris/Allison/Isaac. 

Derek/Cora/Peter

The non-dead Hales. Why oh why did Cora have to leave? Their family dynamic was great. 

Allison/Lydia/Cora

I know they only had a couple scenes as a triad, but there was so potential. We love antagonism with underlying sexual tension. And ofc, the only thing better than 1 terrifying badass that can secretly be super sweet is 3 terrifying badasses. 

Derek/Isaac/Boyd

At one point, the only non-dead members of the Hale Pack (TW quickly amended that). I always think of the S3a Loft scene where Boyd and Isaac skip school to protect Derek. Despite how awful of an alpha Derek’s been, they still care about him and he cares about them (as actual people and not just betas that he needs for power like he did originally)

Derek/Allison/Lydia. 

Yes it’s my 5th s3 based trio in a row, but can you blame me? This is 100% based off the classroom scene in 3x02. 

Allison/Lydia/Jackson

Although Lydia and Jackson were both awful in S1, their friendship with Allison and their immediately taking her under their wing was beyond precious. Additionally, it combines both the asshole-who’s-soft-towards-1-person- dynamic (jydia w/ allison) and assholes-who-secretly-care-about-each-other (jydia) And ofc, the underlying tension due to Jydia’s disdain towards Scott and later, Jackson and Allison’s experiences/knowledge of the supernatural. 

Malia/Kira/Lydia

Comedy gold. Their scenes speak for themselves and we needed more. 

Liam/Mason/Corey

Their S6a dynamic is sooo underrated and should’ve been given more screen time. I loved watching Liam and Corey struggle to get along for Mason’s sake because they want him to be happy. It was all very wholesome and one of the few things that made 6a worth watching. 

Stiles/Scott/Liam

Aka the best part of S4.Their dynamic is so fun and well-balanced and infinitely better because they’re a triad. You’ve got Scott and Liam figuring out their mentor/mentee relationship with Stiles co-parenting and preventing the Scott/Liam dynamic from turning unhealthy. (Liam and Scott’s S6 dynamic veered way too close to parent/child for my taste. They need Stiles to balance it out) It’s also hilarious how quickly Liam accepts being aggressively adopted by two idiots who are barely older than him. And Stiles takes so easily to playing older brother/co-parent. It’s adorable. They’re adorable. 

Erica/Allison/Lydia 

Very similar dynamic to Allison/Lydia/Cora due to Cora and Erica’s similar personalities but also not, which has a lot to do with Allison and Lydia’s reactions to Erica’s weaponized feminity. Also, there’s a lot more history between these girls and I want to know everything about what Erica thinks of Lydia after going to school with her for years. 

Sherriff/Melissa/Chris 

Of the top of my head, I can only remember that time where they were trapped under the Nemeton and that’s simply unacceptable. 

Sheriff/Noshiko/Melissa. 

It’s a crime that this triad never got scenes. Especially after the Sheriff tried to arrest Kira. I know Melissa bitch slapped him but I wanted to watch these two badasses gang up on the Sheriff together. ( the Noshiko/Melissa dynamic would be so iconic.) 

Victoria/Noshiko/Melissa

Another triad that never shared scenes (obviously because Vic is dead) but their power would’ve been off the charts. I want to make a joke about milfs, but I’ll refrain. 

The Yukimura fam

Seemed appropriate since my last two also included. Noshiko.I love family dynamics and the Yukimuras are no exception. The attraction of this triad, for me, is mostly the dynamic between Kira and Noshiko and how Ken navigates between them. They’re also a trio that we didn’t see nearly enough of in S4 and 5. Like seriously, where were they? Noshiko’s on the dead pool, but she’s barely mentioned. (on a mostly unrelated note, how is the 900 yr old Kitsune worth less than a girl that just found about her kitsune powers?)

Derek/Allison/Scott

I don’t need to explain this one. The angst, the drama, Derek projecting Kate onto Allison and Allison trying to murder Derek and their evolution to reluctant allies with a good dash of Scallison and Scott navigating his own difficult relationship with Derek. Aka the complicated, tension fraught trio we all loved/should love. ( ok, I kind of explained it)

Derek/Scott/Liam 

And here we have a two for one deal; two mentor/mentee dynamics in 1 triad. People much smarter than me have written about this trio in extensive detail, so all I’m saying is that Derek’s that one uncle who occasionally comes around and gives somewhat helpful advice. 

Braeden/Malia/Scott 

Braeden and Scott were great in S4. Braeden and Malia were great in S5. Scott and Malia are pretty great when they’re not in a relationship. Combine, and you get what had to be a kick-ass triad that’s sadly never canonly shown together (I think)

Melissa/Chris/Isaac

Not actually featured in the show, but Isaac deserves all the parental figures and I want to witness the surely epic custody battle between Chris and Melissa. 

Malia/Scott/Peter

That this trio is on here is actually pretty funny because I hate both Scalia and the forced Peter/Malia bonding in S6. But I loved the scene where Peter warned Malia not to fall in love with Scott because a) he has absolutely 0 right to advise her on anything and b) because of the history between Scott and Peter. In a way, a relationship with Malia is just another thing tying Scott to someone that’s repeatedly caused harm to him and his friends and was the initial cause for all the pain he’s suffered in the last couple years. I just find this dynamic worth exploring. 

Malia/Derek/Peter

The Hales 2.0. Derek and Malia deserve to bond over unwillingly being related to Peter, that scumbag. 

Malia/Stiles/Peter

Stiles and Peter are so fun together and Stalia is my jam. Throw in an antagonistic Malia and Peter relationship and they’re entertaining as hell. Much more lighthearted than Malia/Scott/Peter.  

Stiles/Malia/Lydia 

To clarify, this has nothing to do with a love triangle and everything to do with how their personalities play off each other. It’s one of those trios where together, they’re either terrifying or absolute morons. 

Stiles/Cora/Derek

Admittedly, my version of this is very Sterek+Cora and the hilarity of Stiles and his attraction to Hales but it’s also 3x snark and you really can’t go wrong. 

Scott/Stiles/Melissa 

It’s Melissa and her boys 1.0. This woman is by far the best parent on this show, and I love the specific dynamic among these three. Melissa might not always like Stiles, but she cares about him and there’s the mutual understanding that they both adore Scott and would do anything for him. Also, Mel being exasperated by the dumbass duo is always funny.  

Kate/Allison/Chris

Lowkey another custody battle because Kate and Chris do fight to be the bigger influence on Allison This is such a tragic trio to me, and the lesson here is basically that sometimes love isn’t enough. Chris and Kate both genuinely love Allison and she loves them too but can’t have both and at some point, she has neither. Kate and Chris care about each other, but that’s not enough either. In the end, they all lose each other. There’s no happy ending for them, at least not with each other. 

Derek/Stiles/Peter

Stiles just has chemistry (not necessarily romantic) with all Hales and this trio really shines through in 3x01 and in S3 in general. “Chess is Stiles’s game” asgdhfjgh. I wanted more of that very specific dynamic. 

That was a hell lot longer than I thought it would be, but what can you do. Feel free to tell me your own opinions in the tags/comments.  

[jake-marshall]

TGAAC: Adventures thoughts

So I finished game 1 last Saturday, and took a brief break from continuing so I could write a fic centered around it (won’t mention what character because ~Spoilers~), and will now continue on to game 2 starting today (albeit, I did start a little of game 2 last week but was so burned out from having marathoned Case 5, I didn’t really vibe with it so I’ll probably just start over).  Here are my, as well as my wife @morpheusdreamt ‘s (who watched parts with me) thoughts on the DGS/TGAAC 1, under the cut.  LOTS OF SPOILERS INCLUDED!  READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

The Adventure of the Great Departure - discounting the fact that it’s the first case and therefore also a super-hand-holdy tutorial, I felt this was one of the stronger first cases in the whole series.  I really enjoyed Jezaill and Hosonaga, and just Kazuma and Ryuunosuke’s dynamic as a whole, even though I knew what was coming.  My complaint about this case was that it felt way too long for a first case - which, I mean, I get in hindsight because of needing to include the right amount of development between Kazuma and Ryuunosuke to make Kazuma’s death effective and to make it more believable that Ryuunosuke takes over as the main lawyer.   But also, it wasn’t satisfying to out Jezaill as the murder (even though I know she has a role in the second game) and then come to find out she probably won’t be punished for it. This lack of satisfaction became a sort of prevailing theme for me throughout the game. The Adventure of the Unbreakable Speckled Band - again, another tutorial case that felt way too long.  I’m pretty sure I was drinking the whole time I played this case, with Sholmes being the one to drive me to do it.  As with the first case, the characters stood out for me way more than the case itself. My favorite part of this was watching the bond form between Ryuunosuke and Susato.  As much as I also like Nikolina, I found this case overall to be fairly forgettable. The Adventure of the Runaway Room  - first of all, I haven’t replayed this since completing the game (and therefor completing case 5) but I feel it’s almost necessary to do so to fully grasp this case?  Which is, after having completed the game, something I really like about this case in particular.   I thought McGilded was a fantastic character (and not just because of his resemblence to Handsome Jack :p), and I knew we’d meet Gina and Van Zieks in this case, but I was still thrilled to have it happen.   Upon first playthrough, this case was like the others, extremely frustrating in the sense that I wasn’t really getting anywhere?  That the plot wasn’t going anywhere?  I mean, at least for me, I really had no clue as to how involved McGilded was in Mr. Mason’s death, so kudos to the writers in keeping me guessing.   Overall, this felt like a filler case until you get to the end and realize, oh shit.  It’s not, is it?  And then I wished I would’ve paid more attention to some details, so it’s definitely worth a replay. The Adventure of the Clouded Kokoro - But no, this is the filler case!  And I know some of the characters show up in the 2nd game, but oof.  There was very little I enjoyed about this case on an individual level, and I’m not one to get super salty about ~this is problematic~ but the consistent inclusion of joking about domestic violence made me uncomfortable.   Soseki was a fun character, but the Garridebs and Beates felt over-the-top, and, again, the fact that the attack was actually an accident just made this case feel like, ??? It made me wary of starting the 5th case.  I felt, there’s nowhere I’m going to come away from the game liking it more than “just alright”. The Adventure of the Unspeakable Story -  Let me start by just saying that this is one of my favorite cases in the entire series. So the only things I knew about this case going in was that Gina was the defendant and that Ashley was the killer, but I didn’t know anything regarding motive or his background, or Gina’s whole ordeal with McGilded. Both of their arcs spoke me to quite profoundly.  I thought Gina’s development and her fears and insecurities surrounding trust were so relateable, her self-loathing and resignation to never having anything in life go her way just because of her class.  Of her needing to look out for herself because no one else will, at least not without wanting anything in return.   Like dude, I was crying when she finally accepted Ryuunosuke’s offer to defend her. I don’t really see it brought up (and maybe I just haven’t looked hard enough) about how heavily it contrasts with Ashley’s story, of them both coming from a poor background and both clearly suffering from abandonment issues and how it’s molded them and their perspective on the world and the people in it.  I thought Ashley was so compelling, even though he starts off as a sort of caricature (which I gather was the intention).   His absolute contempt towards McGilded (and clearly at himself, by the end) was so palpable for me, and left me thinking about him and the case for days after completing it. I liked too, that for as many AA cases where the killer will be like “I’m so much ~smarter than you~”, Ashley actually does a pretty good job of backing it up, that it’s more show than tell (his making the deal with Gregson and the fact that what broke most of his testimony was the Skulkins and not things he himself said)  as it tends to be the other way around. I still want to know what went down in the bus between his dad and McGilded.  I have this terrible feeling that Mason went there to tell McGilded to leave his son alone and that he wouldn’t sell the disk.  Which would make it all worse, lol but I’m fine with that. Unless Gina undergoes some sort of terrible devolvement in the 2nd game, I can safely say that she and Ashley have become Top 10 all time AA characters for me, and that’s saying something considering how long and how deeply I’ve loved my faves from the original games. Anyway, getting back on point to the actual games and not just meta on the characters, I liked the pace that Case 5 progressed at, and how it had some expected twists and turns (like Sholmes’s appearance) that weren’t made any less enjoyable by being predictable.  And I didn’t find it terribly difficult but it was still outrageously fun (minus the stereoscope mechanic which I know is just a fucky misfortune given the game was originally designed to incorporate 3DS functions, which are obsolete on the Switch).  I just thought that Case 5 felt like everything that was right in the original series, both gameplay wise and story/character wise. Despite the fact that it hangs on a massive cliffhanger -__-  But luckily i don’t have to wait two years to play the 2nd game, lol. Maybe my opinion of this game will change after I play the 2nd game, but overall my feelings are that it’s enjoyable enough and if you like Ace Attorney, and you’re more invested in the main characters/their development you’ll like it/probably even love it.  For me, the fifth case and it tying together with the third case, specifically the affects it had Ryuu, Van Zieks, and Gina makes the rest of the game worth playing, but the rest of the cases are not as individually satisfying as many of the other cases in the AA series.   I would still recommend this, however, based on how eager it’s made me to want to play the second game opposed to just feeling like I went through all that for nothing (which is sort of my experience when I replay AJ or DD now, not that I still don’t love them).

[gxrlcinema]

teen wolf characters i would be friends with (brutal honesty edition)

I’ve seen a couple people do this (I think @scilessweetheart started it). This is more “would we have been friends in high school” not “would we be friends now” because we never actually see the characters at my current age.

Scott: We’d be chill. Scott reminds me of this one kid who sat next to me in English sophomore year of high school who tried out for cheerleading and our whole class clapped the day he made the team. Everyone in that class used me for answers but at least he was nice to me while doing it. I feel like that’s the relationship I’d have with Scott.

Stiles: Yeah, but it’d take a while. Stiles and I occupy a lot of the same roles (smart, ADHD, comic relief, abandonment issues), so I feel like he’d be threatened by me and I’d be threatened by him at first. But then we’d team up and realize that we’re a hilarious duo. 

Lydia: Probably not. I would be so intimidated by Lydia I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. Like, she’s too much smarter and prettier and superior in every way I would most definitely be afraid to talk to her. (One of my best friends in high school was a Lydia type and I’m still not sure how it happened.

Allison: Allison honestly radiates horse girl energy (which is valid but not my vibe), but I think I’d like her if I got to know her. We’d be friends in class but not outside of class.

Jackson: Definitely not. I would hate Jackson with a fiery passion. (London!Jackson and I would be friends though).

Derek: No. I’d probably find him really interesting and kind of hang around him in an attempt to figure him out but he would never open up to me and eventually it’d make me feel so bad about myself that I’d stop.

Isaac: I would either hate Isaac for being sarcastic to the teacher or secretly adore Isaac for being sarcastic to the teacher depending on the class. (We’d be buddies if the teacher deserved it).

Erica: Yes, but it would be one of those toxic best friends for a few months and then something happens and we never speak again things. Y’know, the kind you realize later had queer undertones.

Boyd: No. Quiet people freak me out I don’t know what to do with myself around them.

Cora: Friends in freshman PE or health class because the teacher’s an idiot but I would be far too intimidated to try and get closer.

Kira: Probably. It’d be one of those “my nicer friend adopted you because you’re new” situations and then she’d be part of the squad and I would have to ride or die.

Malia: No. Like, I respect Malia Tate, but I don’t like Malia Tate. I think I’d find her super obnoxious.

Liam: We’d make conversation while we inevitably sat next to each other waiting to go into the counselor’s office. And we’d both be there pretty often so an acquaintenceship would form.

Mason: There’s a very specific friend of mine from high school who I’m almost certain would’ve dated Mason. So similar to Kira, a friend by association.

Hayden: Actually, yeah. Hayden would be in my freshman PE class or something and we’d hit it off making fun of others. 

[samatedeansbroccoli]

*deep inhale*

MENENDEEEEEZ! XD XD

HEHEHEHEHEEEEEE CORDIS DIE!!!  @enderio​ tagging because you asked as well.

favorite thing about them EVERYTHING!!! jkjkjk Honestly, his register, or how he speaks. When Mason first meets him when he’s 23, he tends to speak with a bit of snark and a bit of indirectness, as though he’s trying to outsmart his enemy with words. When he’s 26, his tone is sharper and he speaks more directly rather than beating around a bush. Later, when he’s 62, he speaks very calmly and tends to rely on references to poems and such, a sign that he’s caught up on his literature between 1989 and 2025. He’s always spoken a bit eloquently, but compared to his 23 year old self who would speak to try and seem smarter, his 62 year old self is actually smarter. A cool detail to his education. 

least favorite thing about them Probably his politics and actions. I love him, but I don’t excuse what he did. His ideology is socialist/communist aligned, and his methods of approaching the world view in 2025 are outdated, set more for 70s and 80s political style with a slight understanding of word via Youtube and social media. Again, a cool detail. 

favorite line “Because YOU must suffer as I have suffered! Now one more must die! You. Woods. Or David.” 

brOTP It’s a crack one: David and Menendez. Idk, I like the idea of “what if Menendez adopted David after he kidnapped him” or “What if David forgave Menendez at the end.” Otherwise than that, none. Not even DeFalco. 

OTP None. Menendez’s psychology doesn’t allow him to have a soulmate he would love. 

nOTP Raul x Josefina or Raul x Jose Menendez (the father). I mean... Do I even have to explain??

random headcanon Menenedez taught himself to sing and the marimba and guitar. The marimba is Nicaragua’s national instrument, so no doubt he learned solely from observation off the street. The guitar and singing started as a way to entertain Josefina, and later became one of the few healthy coping mechanisms for him while he grieved. 

unpopular opinion I like Raul Menendez. A lot. Need I say more? XD

song i associate with them Asides from the ones in the BO2 soundtrack which are literally associated with him, I’d pick a traditional Spanish guitar tune, Romanza. 

favorite picture of them

That took a while to answer. Don’t mind my obsession with him XD

[wonkasmissstarshine]

The Chocolatier’s Rose {Willy Wonka x OC} Ch.31

GIFs not mine. Credit go to owners.

Summary: Rose and Priscilla take care of all the floral arrangements. Rose talks with Priscilla about something that’s been weighing on her mind. Willy has a similar conversation with Mrs Mason.

Tagging: @holdmeicant​ @willymywonkers​ @sleepiesapphicxoxo​

Charlie and Willy stayed behind to help Mrs Mason clean up the kitchen. Rose and Priscilla made their way outside. They walked up to the glass elevator.

"Whoa" Priscilla sounded in amazement. "Is this a glass elevator?"

"A flying glass elevator" Rose corrected her friend. She pressed the button and the elevator dinged as the door opened. "After you" She urged Priscilla.

Priscilla gave Rose a questionable look. "Is it even safe to fly in this thing?"

"Of course it is. Willy, Charlie and I fly in it all the time" Rose assured. "I'd be more worried about walking right into the door though" Priscilla stifled a laugh. She could only assume that Rose had walked into the door a few times. Rose gave her a warning glare. "It's not funny when Willy does it, and it's not funny when I do it"

"S-sorry" Priscilla muttered over her stifled laughter. She stepped into the elevator and Rose followed after her. Rose closed the door and Priscilla couldn't help but notice all the buttons. "Are these all rooms that are in the factory?"

"Yep" Rose said, popping the 'p'. She pressed a button and the elevator made its way to its destination. She looked over at Priscilla and smiled amusingly when she noticed that she was still looking at all the buttons. "Having fun there, Cilla?"

"Can you explain some of the rooms to me?" Priscilla asked. Rose was happy to oblige with Priscilla's request. She pointed out her favourite rooms and explained their purpose and what was made in them in great detail. Priscilla loved seeing her explain with such passion and excitement.

Rose noticed the way Priscilla was smiling at her. "What?" Rose asked as she copied the contagious smile.

"I just love seeing you get so happy" Priscilla told her. "That's why I can't wait to see you get married. I know on that special day, your smile will be so bright, the sun will be jealous of you"

Rose giggled a bit. "How poetic of you, Cilla"

"Let me correct myself" Priscilla said, holding up her index finger. "The sun should be jealous of you now. It will never burn brighter than you"

Rose didn't giggle but snorted with laughter as she playfully hit Priscilla on the arm. "I should get you the make the speech, considering you have such a way with words" The elevator landed in front of Harry's flower shop. It was a cute, brightly colored little shop with playful banners and baskets of beautiful flowers hanging from the awning. The two girls stepped out of the elevator.

"Harry's Fanciful Flora and Fauna" Priscilla read the name.

"This is a cute little place" Rose said. She took in a deep breath and she could smell the flowery scents. "And it smells delightful"

The two girls entered the shop. Harry could hear the bell ring and so he looked over to see who his new customer was. He was surprised to see Rose and Priscilla. "Rose, Priscilla. What an unexpected but pleasant surprise!" He greeted them.

Priscilla smiled weakly at him. She was still unsure about him but remembered that she was here for Rose. "Hi Harry"

"This is a pretty shop you've got here" Rose complimented.

"Thank you" Harry smiled appreciatively. "What brings you two by today?" He approached the two of them. Priscilla made sure to keep close to Rose, but Harry kept a reasonable distance from them.

Priscilla smirked at that, feeling rather pleased. Maybe Harry really has changed.

"Well, as you know Willy and I are getting married and..." Rose started.

"And you need a bouquet?" Harry finished for her.

Rose nodded. "Yes. And other arrangements purely for decoration"

"I'd be glad to help you with that" Harry said. He ushered them over to a table. "Why don't we all sit and you can tell me what you're thinking of?" Harry grabbed a notebook, and then the three of them sat at a table. "So, Rose, what do you want for your special day?"

"Well, I want a bouquet of roses. They are my favourite flower after all, and it's the most romantic flower in my opinion" Rose explained.

Harry jotted that down. "Roses for Rose. What colours would you like?"

"Red and white. The red represents love, and the white can represent new beginnings. But when you put those colours together, they signify unity"

"Love, new beginnings and unity" Harry repeated. He smiled as he wrote down the colours. "Perfect for a wedding"

Rose smiled at that sentiment. "It really is" She said dreamily. "Now, Priscilla here is handling all the decorations so you'll be working closely with her"

Priscilla smiled and held out her hand for Harry to shake. "Put it there, partner"

Harry chuckled at the gesture but shook her hand nonetheless. "I'm looking forward to collaborating with you"

"Honestly, me too" Priscilla admitted.

Harry averted his attention back to Rose. "So, the bouquet is figured out. What about the decorative arrangements?"

"Definitely irises and orchids" Rose decided.

Priscilla's eyes widened as she pictured an image in her head. "You can have those arranged on an arch"

Harry agreed with Priscilla's idea. "That's perfect. It'll take some time, but they can be woven together along the length of the arch"

Priscilla squealed in excitement. "Oh, that would look amazing. Then you add some lights and a canopy to the arch, it would look even more amazing" Priscilla looked to Rose. "How do you think that would look Rose?"

"Oh, I love it!" Rose said happily. "Then that just leaves table arrangements, which I'm thinking of daffodils and lillies for"

"Okay" Harry nodded as he wrote down the note. He then proceeded to read back Rose's requests. "Red and white roses for the bouquet, orchids and irises that are to be woven into the arch, and daffodils and lillies for table settings"

"That sounds right" Rose confirmed. "And thank you for doing this, Harry. It means a lot to me. Y'know, considering..." She trailed off.

"Yeah" Harry nodded, knowing what she meant. "Don't mention it, Rose. I see you as a friend now, and friends do nice things for friends"

"How much will all the flowers cost?" Priscilla asked. "I'm willing to pay anything"

"No charge" Harry denied Priscilla's offer. "Consider this my gift to you, Rose, and Willy as well considering this is his wedding too"

"Wow" Rose was shocked at his kindness. "Thank you, Harry" She got up and walked over to him. Then, she hugged him, which surprised Harry. Still, he hugged her in return. "Come to the factory tomorrow. You and Priscilla can start planning tomorrow"

"I'll be there, Rose" Harry said. He guided them to the door.

"Just wait one second, Mister" Priscilla said to him, pointing a finger at him. She glared at him, and Harry swallowed a lump in his throat, scared he had done something wrong. Then, Priscilla's glare was replaced with a smile and she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "See you tomorrow, partner!"

Harry laughed and hugged her back. "You too, partner"

With that, the two girls left the shop. They stepped foot inside the elevator and started the trip back to Mrs Mason's house. Rose was rather pleased with what she got done today.

Her dress was figured out, she had the music taken care of, she was going to have an amazing cake, and the flowers were going to be beautiful. She knew that Priscilla would make the wedding look absolutely perfect, no matter how she decorates the meadow for the wedding, and her mom was a wonderful cook so the food was going to taste great. Her friends and family were going to be there, but the most important part was that she was going to be marrying Willy. It really was going to be the wedding of her dreams.

"Rose?" Priscilla spoke up, knocking Rose out of her daydream. "When you and Willy are married, do you know if you two will be having a family of your own?"

"I'd love to start a family with him" Rose admitted. She couldn't help the smile from appearing on her face as she thought about it. "We'd have a girl named Fleur and a boy named Dulce"

Priscilla raised a brow. "Fleur and Dulce?"

"I'm named after a flower, and Fleur means flower. So she'd be named after me. Willy makes chocolate and candy, and Dulce means sweet. That means he'd be named after Willy"

"That's really cute" Priscilla cooed. She noticed how quickly Rose's smile changed to an unsure look. "What's wrong?"

"It's just..." Rose paused, and her eyes began swelling with tears. "I don't think Willy even wants children. He doesn't even like children and--"

Priscilla stopped Rose. "Willy doesn't like children?" Rose shook her head. "Well, he likes Charlie doesn't he?"

"Everyone likes Charlie" Rose countered. "He's such a sweet boy. He's kind, honest, helpful, and he's always putting others before himself"

"Uh huh" Priscilla nodded.

"But you should have seen how Willy was with the other children on the tour. He couldn't stand them"

"Could you?"

"Absolutely not!" Rose scoffed. "Augustus could not stop stuffing his face. Violet was too competitive and arrogant for her own good, and do not get me started on the disgusting gum chewing! Veruca was just a spoiled brat. Mike was just plain rude and thought he was smarter than everyone else, when he clearly wasn't. Oh, and he hates chocolate. How could you hate chocolate!?"

"Hmm" Priscilla hummed. She had a knowing smirk on her face. "Even I can't stand those kids, and I haven't even met them"

"What's your point, Cilla?"

"My point is that Willy didn't like those children because they were rotten. I'm sure that he would love his own children unconditionally"

Rose managed a small smile. "You think so?"

"Absolutely" Priscilla wrapped her arms around Rose, bringing her into a hug. "Believe me, Rose. Someday, you're going to be an amazing mother and Willy will be an amazing father"

And little did Rose know, that Willy was having a very similar conversation with Mrs Mason as we speak.

******

Mrs Mason was washing dishes, Willy was drying them, and Charlie was putting them away. "I wonder how it's going for the girls" Mrs Mason wondered.

"My Rose is probably having fun" Willy said. A smile came to his face. "She's been having lots of fun planning the wedding"

"What about you Charlie?" Mrs Mason directed to the young boy. "Are you excited for the wedding?"

"Very much so" Charlie answered. "I've never been to a wedding before. This'll be the first one for me"

"She's gonna look so beautiful..." Willy mused quietly. He looked up and stared at the wall, his thoughts wandering to Rose. "Not that she doesn't look beautiful every day. She shines brighter than the stars! She is my starshine, after all" He giggled dreamily. "But the thought of seeing her in a pretty, pink and puffy cotton candy dress"

"That'll be some dress" Mrs Mason commented. "I can't wait to see how it turns out. Rose is going to look like a pretty porcelain doll in that dress. I can already tell" Her heart swelled at the thought of her daughter-figure in a beautiful dress, getting married to the man she loves. She started to cry.

"Patricia, you're crying!" Willy noted.

"Are you alright, Mrs Mason?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, I'm fine" Mrs Mason assured the two of them. She grabbed a paper towel and started dabbing her eyes with it. "I've always seen Rose as a daughter, and now she's about to get married to an absolutely wonderful man" She smiled at Willy as she gently pat him on the cheek. "Albert and I never had the chance to have children, and it was something we both wanted. That's why I'm grateful to have you three in my life. You're like my own children"

Children.

That word echoed in Willy's head. It got him thinking. "Patricia, do you think I would be a good father?"

Mrs Mason smiled at him. "Of course you would. What's bringing this up?"

"Because, I wasn't sure about it at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I do want to have children with Rose" Willy then frowned. "But, I don't know how to bring it up with her. I don't know if she even wants children"

"She's always wanted children of her own" Charlie assured him. He smiled as he thought of a memory. "She once nursed an injured bird back to health. That's when she decided that she wanted to be a mother someday"

"But, would she want them with me?"

"The girl is already marrying you, is she not?" Mrs Mason said. "She's going to be your wife. Of course, she'll want children with you. And both of you will be wonderful parents when that happens" She assured him as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "And my goodness, will they be gorgeous kids" With her other hand, she grasped Willy's chin and tilted his head around to get a good look at his face. "Just look at you. Mix in Rose's DNA and that's twice the gorgeousness"

"Thanks Patricia" Willy smiled at her. He turned to looked at Charlie. "And thank you, Charlie. I think I'm ready to talk about kids with Rose"

Mrs Mason smiled as she pat him on the cheek again. "And besides," She started. Willy couldn't help but  notice the mischievous grin on her face. "Making the baby is always fun"

Willy gasped. "Patricia! Charlie is right there!"

"We're back!" Rose announced in a sing-song voice. Her and Priscilla stepped foot into the kitchen.

"Starshine!" Willy exclaimed happily. He ran to her and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. "I missed you!" He started peppering kisses all over her face.

Rose giggled. "I haven't even been gone an hour, cocoa bean!"

"I know" Willy said, nuzzling into her neck as he sighed dreamily. "I just love you so much" He perked his head up to look at her. "It feels like a lifetime whenever I'm without you"

"Oh, my sweet, sweet cocoa bean" She cooed as she took his face in her hands. She stroked his skin with her thumbs. "I missed you too"

"When we get home, there's something I want to talk about with you. It's something important"

"There's something I want to talk about too. But, we still have one more thing to do"

"And what would that be, starshine?"

"We have to invite your father to the wedding"

Rose was expecting him to have a frown or some other worried expression on his face, but she was taken by surprise when he grinned excitedly. "What are we waiting for then? Let's go see my father!"