#mase was really invested in their relationship and tried his best to help dodie as she stumbled blindly through a dynamic she wasnt used to
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Thinks abt Dodie and Mase and goes feral
#rat rambles#oc posting#Im gonna let myself ramble abt these two actually#just.... ok god where do I even start#these two are one of the first people in their friendgroup to meet each other so theyve known each other for years abd years#they are also the two eldest of the friend group and although theyre not rly that much older than the majority of the others#theyve still landed themselves the roles if mom friend and therapist friend and they lean hard into it#they have heavily internalised their positions as the eldest and have a lot of issues abt it#and theyre... very closed off from most of their friends. they feel like they have to be.#but the one thing theyve always had is each other. the other is the only person they feel they can be vulnerable around#they care about each other so so much and try so so hard to be there for the other and they refuse to accept that thats not always enough#back when they were around 14 they started dating. this was a few months after mase realised he was transmasc and around the time#dodie started questionibg her gender as well#mase was really invested in their relationship and tried his best to help dodie as she stumbled blindly through a dynamic she wasnt used to#and at first she assumed the resiprocated since she cared abt him a lot and had like no other references for that kind of stuff#and mase believed her and just assumed that her awkwardness waa just her being inexperienced with this kind of thing and he was ok with tha#and for the first month of the relationship dodie was mainly thinking abt gender stuff which took a bit of priority in her mind#things werent that different than before its fine. so what if she feels deeply uncomfortable whenever he acts all lovey dovey towards her?#honestly at first she tried to tell herself that it was because she was uncomfortable with the gendered terms he was using and that was it#as kind of scary as it was for her to accept she was a girl it was way scarier to her to accept that she didnt feel the same as him#he was supportive as she admitted that she might be trans. the relief was almost enough for her to forget abt the relationship for a while#key word almost. now that she couldnt distract herself with gender shit it became increasingly difficult to pretend something wasnt wrong.#and to make things worse this is around the time mase's mental health started to decline rapidly.#he was in a bad place and she was his only support and while he tried his best to not make her feel wholely responsible for him#she could still obviously tell he was in a bad place and she knew that admitting that she doesnt feel like things are working like this#would hurt him rly badly even if she knows he wouldnt hold it against her#so she tried to force herself to be the same. she tried and she tried and it didnt ever work but she refused to hurt him like that#and eventually it was causing her enough distress that he started to notice. and it wasnt long before he started to realise and asked her#to talk abt it even if it would hurt him and she did but she pratically begged him to let her keep trying so she wouldnt have to hurt him#they did break up still and mase doesnt hold it against her like she predicted but they were still hurt by it all and both blame themselves
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