#marvel x reader platonic incorrect quotes

[sillycoffeelover]

Y/N: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes. Tony, stirring his coffee: I prefer it with salt.

[pollensweetchimera]

Y/N: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Peter recently.

Deadpool: No, Y/N, it's not what it looks like, I swear.

Y/N: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Deadpool: No! You’re the only one for me.

Y/N: Is that so?

Deadpool: I promise! Peter and I are just dating, okay? He's my boyfriend.

Y/N: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Deadpool: You are still my one and only best friend! he's just the love of my life, nothing more!

Y/N: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?

Deadpool: Of course bro!

Y/N: Bro...

Peter: What the-

[incorrectanything]

Y/N: Can I go to the movies tonight?

Logan: Bub, I'm not your dad, you can do whatever the hell you want.

Y/N:

Y/N: Okay-

Logan: Be home by ten, don't talk to strangers, and remember to look both ways before crossing the road.

Y/N:

Logan: Here, ten bucks for popcorn.

[literaryavenger]

Steve, seeing Y/N babying Bucky: What happened??

Y/N, putting a bandaid on Bucky’s finger: Bucky got a paper cut.

Steve, rolling his eyes: Seriously? Yesterday Sam was screaming "I've been stabbed!" and all you did was yell "shut up!"

Y/N, after kissing Bucky’s boo-boo: That's because he was screaming "I think I've been stabbed!" Bitch, you're either stabbed or you aren't!

Steve:

Y/N:

Steve:

Natasha, sitting next to them while casually eating cereal: She's right.

[wandas6-gf]

Y/N: Can I have a piece of cake from the fridge?

Yelena: What’s the rule?

Y/N, sighing: No cake after dinner.

Yelena: No, that’s Nat’s rule. My rule is that you need to bring me a slice as well.

[misquoted-chronicles]

*In some hole in the wall dive bar *

Deadpool: Okay, Y/n, remember what I taught you. Loud clear voice, maximum effort and 1000% confidence.

Toddler Y/n: *small squeaky voice* White Russian, no ice, no vodka... hold the Kahlua.

Bartender: *quickly prepares order* Here’s your drink, little lady.

Bartender: *sets down a glass of milk*

Toddler Y/n: *loudly clears her throat and narrows her eyes at the bartender*

Bartender: My apologies, little miss.

Bartender: *drops a bright neon pink loopy straw into the glass*

Toddler Y/n: *happily accepts her drink* Thanks!

Deadpool: *in proud dad* That’s my girl! *wipes away fake tear*

[its-really-dry]

y/n: *sitting in natasha's lap with their face in her boobs*

tony: *walks in* uhhhhh......... what's going on?

clint: nothing really. y/n just lost energy *continues to read his magazine*

tony: that still doesn't explain the whole *points at nat and y/n*

wanda: oh! think of it as a charging port, but for lesbians

kate: *is sad* i wish i was a lesbian *pouts*

yelena: you are. dumb suka

kate: then where are my booby-chargers?

y/n: *gets off natasha and holds their arms out to kate*

kate: *gets giggly and runs over to y/n*

tony: im not even going to entertain that with a follow up question

[pixiexdusts-world]

Incorrect quote

Bucky: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Y/n: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Natasha: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.

Steve: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Tony: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and got a really bad burn.

Peter: …

Peter: I have emotional scars.

[kingofvipers]

Marvel Incorrect Quotes #3

Thor: Oh, we’re now one big family! And I’m the dad, and Bruce's the mom

Bruce: Why am I the mom? What gender rolls are we pushing here?

Teen!M/n: I know they're probably thinking I'm like the son, but I'm not. I'll be the gay emo cousin.

Korg: I'LL be the son, the hot shot, who's only dream.....is to be a star.

Valkyrie: I think a pretty, fresh out of jail aunt.

Loki: And I'm the sassy aunt....who talks shit about everybody.

[sillycoffeelover]

Steve: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass. Y/N: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL?? Steve: …Your point?

[pollensweetchimera]

Marc: What's wrong with you?

Y/n: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression, and bipolarity.

[incorrectanything]

Wade: Logan and I are having a baby!

Y/N: That's gre-

Wade, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

[book-place-incorrect-quotes]

Y/N: Bucky and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Sam: *Sighing* What did Bucky do?

Y/N: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Bucky: Who wants a steering wheel?

[hunterbunter3000]

Teen!Y/n : You did a really good job/pos!

Bucky :

Bucky : Why the hell did you spell that out loud

Bucky : And did you just call me a piece of shit--

[misquoted-chronicles]

Deadpool: What time is it?

Y/n: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out.

Y/n: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Wolverine: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING!

Y/n: It’s 2 am.

Deadpool: Thanks, Y/n.

Y/n: *hands sax back* You’re welcome, Wade. Also, you should probably run. *pats Wade on the shoulder*

Meanwhile thundering footsteps are quickly approaching the pair

Wolverine: WADE!!!!

Deadpool: *panicked flailing*

Deadpool: *screaming* Shit, Shit, SHIT!!!

[its-really-dry]

wanda: awww! aren't they so sweet tasha? such cute little cheeks! *squishing y/n's face*

nat: *laughs* yeah, they have such a baby face *boops their nose.*

y/n: breastfeed me then 🤨

nat: ...... *smirks*

wanda: i-

y/n: googoo gaga b!txh 🤨