#marudersera

[froghat1745]

Marlene: dude. Why is the whole black family so hot. Like were you guys just blessed with the best genes in exchange for the most racism orrrrr-

Sirius: what?

Dorcas: nah actually. It is kind of impressive.

Lily: agreed. Like I wonder to myself all the time how the black family dinner parties have such a long guest list until I see them and it all makes sense again.

Sirius: well except my mom

James:.....

Dorcas: no especially your mom. Old lady black makes up for years of abuse with her fat as-

Marlene: DORCAS! Oh my merlin!

Lily: she has a point marls. Even bellatrix isn't half bad when she tries

Peter: agreed. Naricissa cleans up nicely too

Sirius: *mumbles* yeah and sirius too!

Marlene: *laughs and ruffles his hair* yes padfoot. Yes too.

James:...

Lily: attention whore

Sirius: i- I am not an attention whore!

Marlene: emphasis on whore

Remus: *looks up from his book* why are you even having his conversation? I am trying to read

Marlene: sorry lupin

Lily: right sorry remi

Dorcas: sorry moony no hard feelings right bud?

Remus: *rolls his eyes and goes back to reading*

James:........

James: AND REGULUS. DONT FORGET ABOUT REGULUS

[introverted-giraffe]

[scarcastic-nerd]

The last one got me hard... I'm still laughing

headcanon that sirius learnt how to crochet just so he could make remus sweaters in return for all the ones he stole. sirius also taught james how to crochet so he could make gloves and cardigans for reggie, since he's always cold. soon enough sirius was teaching filch how to crochet a sweater for mrs norris

[wemarauders]

[froghat1745]

Sirius: yo mama so fat she takes up three portraits and she still doesn't fit

James: well yo mama so scary she makes dementors blood run cold

Sirius: oooooh! Alright. Yo mama so fat her animagus is an elephant

James: yo mama so scary she is voldemorts bogart

Sirius: really? Well yo mama so fat when you cast engorigo on her your wand breaks

James: ha! Nice on pads! Yo mama so scary she is a ministry warning setting

Sirius: ye- well- I fucked yo mamma

James: ok and I fucked your brother.

Sirius: .....

James:...

Sirius:....

James:... oh.

Sirius:.... what.

James:.... i-

Sirius...

Sirius: JAMES FELMOUNT POTTER TELL ME YOU DIDN-

Remus: *looking up from his book* he did.

James:... whoops?

Sirius: I AM GONNA KILL YOU PRONGS!

Remus: *chuckles under his breath* ha! Yo best friend so horny he snogged your brother

*James and sirius fighting on the floor*

Remus: I crack myself up sometimes

[froghat1745]

*James enters the grand hall covered in fresh hickeys*

*instant chatter*

Student 1: Wow. Look at potter, he's been busy

Student 3: oh my merlin! he is so hot.

Student 2: what a lucky girl..

*heads turn to face lily who enters confidently*

Student 3: you don't think-

Regulus: *rolls his eyes* in her dreams maybe.

Come on potter let's go!

*James happily dashes towards reggie*

Student 2: oh.

Remus: ha! amateurs

[froghat1745]

RIP Marlene McKinnon: You would have loved the devastating, earth-shattering, life altering "romance" between me and my middle school best friend <3