#marriage life issues

[hotwife-heat]

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The thing I love about "are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these?" is not just how it flows sonically, which is its own very Swiftian cadence that scratches a big itch in my brain, but how it really boils down this big existential argument into such a tight lyric.

Even without being explicit, you know that the narrator is talking about when they're going to... y'know... and how the subject keeps finding new ways to stall the conversation and the progression. You have one person who feels like, "What are we waiting for? There's never going to be a better time" and another who perhaps feels like maybe there will *never* be a better time. And therein lies the crux of the impasse at which they find themselves.

(How I Met Your Mother had its faults *ahem*, but this reminds me so much of the Ted-Robin Argentina argument from one of the early season finales iykwim.)

I just love when we get these little glimpses not only into Taylor's writing, but also like... the human experience in general. These big, complicated, heady arguments that are both pedestrian and life-changing in equal measure. How both parties see their side so clearly, but neither one fully seeing the other's in the same way.

Obviously there's a lot more to the song, but that one line is one I love so much for it, like how it just launches you into the middle of a scene but catches you up on everything in just a few words. (Very much like the opening line of You're Losing Me, for instance.) I love me some good storytelling!

[lonestardust]

carlos' eyes in the meeting room........ carlos' eyes at the hospital..... at the IC room..... his guts are boiling with hot rage!!! this very stubborn hope. it's in the clench of his jaw since the funeral. the lump in his throat that he swallows back every time because that's how the gut-wrenching vestige of murder that hasn't received its justice yet feels like."i see it now. the eyes.." because that's the glimpse of the resolute unswerving gabriel in him that echos 'if there are tears to weep we do it when the time comes, not before'. you grief but you don't get defeated when there is still work to do in order to rest in that grief. and GODDD carlos is so righteously resolved about getting there. i want him so so bad to solve the case. finally bring that retribution and avenge his family and himself. he's been in the waxing and waning throes for too long he only deserves the purgation and finality of it more than anything!!!!!

because no way all of this relentless endeavour and sharp stubborn wit would culminate to anything but cracking it. even storytelling wise that would be disheartening not to bring it to its desired ends. because imagine. all this time carlos was so right about the rangers from the start. then he looped in. was kept so close under their wing. and then he now realises that he wasn't really truly '''stuck''' but he was trapped and misled instead and it's all tumbling down now over their heads and he's seeing through the cracks. finally the darkness makes sense and he can move in action through the pinnacle and into the resolution!!!

[oopey-doopey]

Despite the plethora of exceedingly hot and alluring women in Peter Parker’s life his compatibility and chemistry with most of the men he encounters as Spider-Man makes me believe his issue with connecting with these women has little to do with living a double life…

[fromtheseventhhell]

I want to make a longer post about this someday but: I think Arya's TWOW arc is going to include her coming to terms with her identity as a Lady. This has been an ongoing conflict with her since her first chapter and I think her flowering in winds is going to mark a turning point. The theory of her having an apprenticeship with the courtesans holds a lot of weight and the idea of Arya going through puberty among a group of unconventional women she's fostered a positive relationship with is just too perfect. It would really have an impact on Arya reconciling her personal idea of what a Lady should be. There's also a lot that she could learn from them in terms of courtesies, communication, appearances, body-language, etc. that would elevate her current skill-set and ways her relationship with them could push the plot.

Not to mention she will undoubtedly reclaim her identity as Arya Stark, and her being a Lady is inseparable from that. Arya Stark is a Lady Stark and being a Lady is a social position, not a measure of how well someone preforms feminine tasks. She shouldn't have to relinquish her position because she doesn't fit patriarchal standards. That's not to say that she's ever going to be the perfect example of a traditional Lady but what I think will happen is that she becomes capable of playing the part. She plays several identities throughout the series but she's always been Arya underneath, so I think it's appropriate that she learns to adopt a "persona" that's part of her. Her remembering Ned putting on his "Lord's face" (+ the various examples of other characters being separate from their ruling persona) makes me think that Arya will be donning her "Lady's face" when she makes a return to Westeros.

[archersartcorner]

SAAVIK GOT TO LIVE A LONG LIFE RAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[aizenat]

I don’t care who hates this, but I always loved Hilary. I was buying shit from her campaign too to spread the message. I was excited to vote for what I thought was going to be our first female president.

Yall can’t make me hate her either lol.

[jeszy-speakz]

tonight its a lot, this heart feels heavy, and the pain is deep .. so silence is my bandage.

[moliathh]

people accusing alutegra shipper of homophobia and lesbian/aroace erasure are so funny because ONE, as a fan, i cannot make or remove a queer representation of a media, that act can only be done by the creator/producer/corporation/ institution themselves, the fanworks you make for a ship does not held the same weight as official materials. It's a bit insulting that you are comparing fanworks made out of love (that could very much be made by queer people) to a phenomenom driven by hate and bigotry and was a contributing factor to the oppression of queer people. Throwing around big words, accusations, that were meant for something very serious and harmful to refer to something unharmful just because you dislike a ship is not a very LGBTQIA+ friendly thing of you to do. Do you think of homophobia so lightly? Accusing REAL queer people who are being subjected to homophobia on a daily basis because of something they love?

SECOND OF ALL, let's assume that your headcanon is true (i haven't speak of the fact that its basic fandom etiquette to treat headcanon as something personal and not universal and don't harass other people over unharmful difference in opinion). Let's say, Integra is a lesbian, which is a headcanon. Did we collectively forget Alucard is canonically genderfluid? Yet you're referring to Alucard/Integra as a "cishet" ship? Does a queer person get stripped of their queer identity when they participate in a relationship that is male/female presenting? I thought we are about "queer rep"??? How convenient it is to deem him a cis het man and headcanon Integra as a lesbian to make the shippers look bad. Oh, and on the way of watering down queer identity into a caricature, you are also claiming ace people cannot have sex and it's disrespectful to depict ace people having romantic/sexual relationship. As if asexuality isn't a spectrum ranging from "little to no attraction" and the definition of sexual interaction is very loose, especially for queer people. Do you even care about queer people at this point?

And before any of yall jump me, i am queer myself how can i be homophobic my bitches are gay I AM GAY. I'm so sick and tired of yall justifying hate by pretending to care about the alphabet mafia. DO YOU REALLY? It was never that serious, just say you hate the ship and get tf going. I think its perfectly fine and cool to hate a ship just because you hate it, i do! I have headaches and want to vomit when i see ships that i hate but i dont feel the need to moralize it nor do i have to bring it to the face of the shippers or bad talking them. What really piss me off is how you drag real QUEER people through the mud for some fucking little pixels. Go outside, have some empathy. When fascism and censorship comes to wipe us out none of us gonna be spared because you are "one of the good ones" so stop fucking eating at your own community omg if you dont like something and its unharmful then BLOCK

[the-arisen]

What's Violet's relationship with Boone like? :3c

WELL. it's good at the beginning until they get married, i think.

their friendship starts distant, and there's a lot of mutual respect going on there. she's not a chatty person, and he isn't as well so that works. violet trusts him, and she doesn't trust easily. but boone never gave her a reason to not trust her. as someone who has lost a fiancé who has once a ncr soldier and fought at the first battle of hoover dam, she can understand boone better than someone who isn't experienced with the ncr does. he also lost carla, and the grief is something that she also relates to. she KNOWS so well how much it can change someone to lose the light of their life, because she herself was affected by her fiancé's death. just like boone, violet is stoic during fnv, doesn't smile or laugh much. the bullets messed that further. the thing about being shot and waking up alive, was that she was disappointed. violet did expect to die, and to join her fiancé, her father she lost, probably her mom too. just like boone, violet thought she was being punished for all she has done, both driven by a duty that made them hurt other people.

violet warms up eventually, though. veronica, arcade, lily, all of those people make her smile a bit more often. she is comfortable with boone's presence, a rare thing. the only place she feels comfortable is at home, in new reno, or alone. when they start talking and opening up more, they see how much alike they are, and it builds that bond of trust not only in a fight but personally as well. boone starts to like her, notice her more, and she does the same, but that's still friendship. they did overtime started to have some lingering looks and touches on each other, some butterflies in their bellies, smiles over simple stuff the other did, but as long as both saw it: "hey! we're such good friends"

at his personal quest, she was brutally honest with him. he could improve, learn from everything that has happened, and just move on. but he also needed to accept that war never changes, and whether he killed those people or not, doesn't change that someone else would. she also suggested that he should drop his past as part of the ncr, in which he sorta did. boone listened to her because he respected violet, plus she wasn't rude about it. he could find his happiness elsewhere.

post fnv vegas is now the ncr's and violet took over the lucky 38 and securitrons (she's actually experienced with robots and pre-war stuff). so she expanded her family business and got responsible for the vegas branch. she offered the job for boone to work as her "bodyguard" and she'd pay him, more than he could ever make in the ncr.

idk i haven't elaborated much to how their relationship starts, but violet had something with the king🕺 beforehand. she obviously drops it to be with boone the moment she realizes that she's actually in love with him, not with dear king (not like it was a romantic relationship anyway! it was mostly intimate, maybe some dates. ummm. unlabeled.)

their marriage happened in 2282 too though lmao because i know those two had such a good amount of trust and companionship that they knew it was for life, as scary as it was after everything both had been through. they had three children across the years heh. two girls, one boy.

i think all is fine but like i said, violet tends to manipulate without realizing. boone has different values than she does, so i don't think the thought of "crime family" was something he'd embrace at first, with her being an underboss and all. but love is one hell of a thing. her view of her own family is beautiful when she speaks, and he could see the loyalty they had, the idea of not being so violent (publicly) and always caring for presenting themselves as respectable fellas. but her family ISN'T fully good, which naturally extends to her. she was a charmer, had that silver tongue, could do it without an effort. and it slipped through his mind.

so eventually he actually thought her fam wasn't that bad, and while he worked for her, violet took him to more tasks. she was making him a lieutenant of the family discreetly, and no, she didn't notice much. anyway so flaws come and she's very business focused, doesn't always have time for her children (though she's a loving mother). boone starts to see that she's ruthless when she had to be, the kind of business and deals she works with, that everything she does no matter how good it may seem does has a hidden intention. not the same woman in the wasteland because business is her main domain, and that's a different beast. violet is a woman who's DEEP into family legacy, family business, making it work. and she loses herself in it often. good thing he was around her almost all the time, though. but their marriage had much problems because of all of that, maybe he was a bit unhappy at times, but he loved her and their children a lot.

don't get me wrong, violet cares and loves for him, but that's how she is. flawed, difficult. she's capable of genuine love, genuine actions, and she does it, of course. she did it for him, for many others. but her mind is "this is good for family reputation" naturally at almost everything she does since she's a child, because that's something her family LIVES FOR. an honorable member of her family is good, and they must follow that one rule: be honorable and never disgrace the family.

violet always wanted to be like her father, and she grew up as his perfect girl, even if he died when she was a kid. i could even dare to say her parents marriage and her own are similar: father and daughter who work too hard in the name of making sure your family are well taken care of, have issues with their partner, and sometimes are bad parents. all in hopes they'll be fine in life when they die, but focus so much on the future that they about the present.

aside from all of that, still a lot of companionship, comfort, a love that endures despite how hard it may seem at times. i guess i haven't elaborated much as detailed as i do anything else but yeah. that's how their relationship is like ❤️

[impostoradult]

my stress level right now is sky high, and the fall of the Republic is like fifth in my priority list of concerns. which should emphasize just how stressed I am

[dhmis-autism]

red guy would ask for a divorce a realize it was depression not his marriage and be like "huh"

OSUSFSKAFSJHSKSGSJSGD

" i guess that wasnt what was making me miserable. easy to see why i thought that, though. who could blame me." /° °\

[arriettyspin]

Earth 65's Spider-Gwen and her bandmate Em Jay are essentially variants of Queen Amidala and her handmaiden Sabé from Star Wars and in this essay I will -

[lifepath25]

The mothers

only pray

to get

Lawyers

Doctors

Presidents

and

Engineers

then

the world

stares on,

finding it hard 

to give us all our daily havocs,

for the rest 

of our lives.

Some are whores

and 

gigolos 

so you

marry them at

your own

risk

that when you

find them

extramarital

you know that

this was it,

the destiny thing.

[meirimerens]

got the tldr of the vid that I'm Not Watching All That & somewhat amusing how the straw breaking the camel's back for people over James Somerton is his blatant and unashamed plagiarism (as it should be genuinely i don't think you can nor should recover from this) like he hasn't regurgitated for years vile, unempathetic, ahistorical and Purely Just Wrong information about gay history including about the fight for legal same-sex marriage in the US and the AIDS crisis. like an alarming amount of people truly heard his ass say "all the good fun funky artistic and radical gays died of aids and all those who were left were unfun stuck-up prudes and conservatives also the fight for legal same-sex marriage was an assimilationist ploy by the latter who just wanted big gay weddings" as if the gay men who survived the epidemic didn't literally lose lovers and friends and entire communities and long-term partners who they shared a life with and who were denied any crumb of this previous life at their death because there was no legal recognition for same-sex cohabitation and unions and their homophobic family could tear everything from the surviving partner thanks to this lack of recognition and let it slide.

some people out there were truly so eager to shit on the boring assimilationist prude gays who survived aids by being stuck-up prudes and who just wanted "big gay weddings" they made up in their minds to get mad at that they turned their brains off and let it slide. they could've used their smoothed-out brains for ONE minute & found out that surviving took 1) plain boring luck and 2) radical, loud, proud gay activists campaigning for safe/safer sex and the information campaigns they led, as well as the protests and demonstrations they undertook to make the government fucking care for once. and that legally-recognized unions [be they civil or religious] were a matter of survival for the partner left behind. some people out there truly let a business major with a turtleneck (possibly the definition of boring) passing himself off as cool and radical and an intellectual tell them homophobic bullshit. and did not blink. like OF COURSE this guy's gonna be a plagiarist. he needs to get his information from SOMEWHERE. because when he tries to formulate his own stuff it's complete fabrications or the frankensteining of multiple sources that he manages to misunderstand/misrepresent threefold over. trying to fit a knit sock over the foot with the inside out and wonder why that itches.

i know many people in his audience are likely very young and also likely american and as such did most of their growing up in a world where their country (1 out of 195. give or take.) had legalized gay marriage but i cannot even begin to describe 1) how Young legalized gay wedding is, even in ""the west"" and 2) how many. other countries there are. my country legalized same-sex marriage before the US did. i am not even 25 and i still remember the hordes of catholics marching down the streets chanting homophobic slogans, implying the only reason two mommies or two daddies would want to raise a child together is for nefarious, vile purposes. i still remember families having to drag their asses into court to argue that, yes, a woman who raised a child for its whole life with another woman she's in a long-term committed cohabitated relationship with should have the right to be considered a direct guardian even if she's not biologically related to the child, and spending thousands of bucks having to argue their case in court. this might be shocking to some, but there are countries where homosexuality is punishable by death. in others, not by death, but by imprisonment. in others, not by imprisonment, but by ""medical intervention"". in others, not by ""medical intervention" but by fines. and in some others still, you can be gay (yay!) but you still cannot get married or civil-unioned, and the very same shit that was discussed in the 80s is still discussed now. the right to stay a guardian of your partner's child if your partner dies or is ill, so the kid does not go into foster care. the right to inherit your partner's property according to married rights instead of having through long annoying time- and money-consuming legal processes. the right to arrange your partner's funeral or have a say in their medical choices if they're incapacitated instead of their (potentially homophobic) families.

like We Are Not There Yet. we are not in a world where any homosexual can truly, fully, wholeheartedly assimilate, whether you consider it a good thing or not. fun gay artists and boring uninteresting gay office workers die the same death that we all do. the one you don't wake from. and guess what. all types of homosexuals, regardless of which ones you pick and choose to be mad at, are affected by homophobic legislation. not just the ones you think should be spared because they're oh so fun. and oh so radical.

donate to the rainbow railroad org if you can. they help LGBT+ people escape state-sponsored violence. a singular nail on one of their members' hand does more activism and real-life good than any mfer making video essays could do in his entire life.