#marle is my favorite can you guys talk to me about marle please i love marle

[zennansr]

woah i drew wow!!! its been like four months!!!

o and a tissue box

[thatblackravenclaw]

I Can't Do It Anymore

Masterlist

author note: I'm sorry y'all but I legit cannot find a gif for this fic and also I don't have it in me to write smut today. Also, boys are very stupid. Okay enjoy the fic :)

au: modern CEO

poly!marauders x fem!reader

word count: 1.3k

warning(s): angsty, lack of communication, illusions to smut at the end, talk of a breeding kink

I have to leave. What’s the point in being in a relationship with 3 men that are always busy? They work from sun up to sun down, when they get home they go straight to sleep, and on weekends they do more work. I get it they’re busy and I respect the dedication to their job, but I truly have no purpose. We don’t even see each other.

Packing up this bag right now is one of the hardest yet easiest things I’ve had to do. I look at all the gowns that they bought me for when I would go to their corporate events. My favorite was always the red strapless one. It has a short train as it pools to the floor and has a gold shimmer when in certain light. The very first dress they bought me.

I only have about 30 minutes until they get back so it’s about time I get going. I roll the suitcase behind me as I walk to the door. I stop at the threshold and look around one last time.

As I close the door, I turn around and find Marlene, my bodyguard, in front of me.

“And where are you going?”

I freeze. Every emotion hitting me at once. The one that stands out the most is sadness.

“Marls, I love you so much. Thank you for protecting me these past 4 years, but this is one thing you couldn’t have protected me from.”

She looks me in my eyes with sympathy.

“You’re leaving aren’t you?” She states more than she asks.

I smile and nod my head as the tears well in my eyes. She grabs me and holds me tight.

“You never needed a bodyguard. You’re gonna kick ass, babe.” She whispers in my ear before letting me go.

I grab the handle of my suitcase and continue on to my car without looking at her. If I did, I for sure would second guess my decision to leave. She’s my best friend.

I put the bag in the trunk and step into the front seat and drive away from the place I once called home.

-.-.-.-.-

Remus’ POV

“We should retire.” I hear Sirius say.

“We’re 27.” I respond with a sigh.

“So? We’re rich.”

“We’d could become richer if we don’t retire right now.” James replies.

Their argument continues as background noise as I focus more on driving. I just want to get home and see y/n. A part of me agrees with Sirius, but for different reason. The company honestly can run without us having to constantly be there. We could step back a bit and spend more time with y/n. Maybe have some kids. We all talked about it when we first got married, but me and the guys wanted to have a steady enough job before starting a family. I think we’re at that point.

“How do you guys feel about kids.” I ask openly.

“Annoying little vermin. Why?” Sirius says.

“No, you oaf. I mean with y/n.” I say as I roll my eyes.

“OH! Yeah. I can picture it.”

“Me too, but why are you asking?” James also says.

“We’re wealthy CEOs that have what they want with a drop of a pin. We’re steady. I think we should ask y/n if she still wants kids.”

“Why not.” Sirius says with a shrug.

And with that it’s decided. Now I’m doubly excited to see her when we get home in a few minutes.

-.-.-.-.-

Your POV

How do I change my number and still get a million calls a day? I’ve been ignoring it for the past hour, but this is getting ridiculous. I look over at the caller ID and see that it’s Marlene.

“What’s up babe?” I ask worriedly.

“Where are you and why did you change your number?” I hear a gruff voice ask. It’s Sirius.

“Wow. I’m surprised you guys noticed that quickly.”

“Please come home y/n. Why did you leave?”

I can’t help, but hear my heart break as I hear Remus’ tone. I almost lose my composure for a second.

“Am I on speaker?” I ask.

“Yes.” They all say at once.

“Don’t worry about where I’m at. Just know that the divorce papers should be there tomorrow. I left all the stuff that you guys bought me.”

“Why did you leave.” James asks with a quiver in his voice.

“Because we just weren’t working. You guys are busy and I respect that, but I don’t want to be the longing housewife anymore. I love you guys, but I believe this is the end of us.”

I go to hang up when I hear a voice yell, “wait”.

“Tomorrow. Let’s meet tomorrow. Here. Can we please talk one more time before you want nothing to do with us anymore.”

Against my better judgement I say, “Okay.”

I can’t believe I’m doing this. I made a big ass exit just to go back to talk. I feel a bit foolish. I shouldn’t have said yes.

I stay parked outside the house for a few minutes. I could just go back to my new place. I could turn around right now and they wouldn’t even know.

The front door open and out comes Sirius. I accept my fate and turn off the car.

He hold the door open for me and I walk in swiftly. Rem and James are sitting on the couch, awaiting my arrival I assume. I sit down in the accent chair that’s adjacent to the couch and look around.

“I’m not quite sure why I’m here. I basically told you guys everything last night.”

“We stepped back. From the company.” Remus says.

“You what?” I say with my eyebrows raised in surprise.

“We stepped back.” James re-enforces.

“But why? That’s your guy’s life. That’s your baby.”

“No. You are.” Sirius says as he sits up and reaches for my hand.

I feel myself gravitate towards the couch. I sit in between Remus and Sirius while looking down at our intertwined hands.

“Please come back.” Remus says with a noticeable quiver.

“I- I don’t know. I don’t know if I can risk going through that again. What’s the point of a marriage if I don’t even get to see you? I can’t feel that way again. I just can’t.”

“You won’t! We promise you won’t.” James says.

“And how do I know that?” I ask.

“Because you are way more important than any company. If you want us to sell it, we will.”

“Woah.” I say with a laugh. “We don’t need to go that far. I just want to know that it would really be different this time.”

“It would be. Especially if you’re having our baby.” I look up to see a glint of mischief in Remus’ eyes.

“I knew you guys just wanted to breed me.” I say with the same look.

“That, and,” James says as he kneels in front of me, his hands caressing my thighs, slowly spreading them. “We promised you that we would try for one once we were steady.”

“Well guess what baby.” Sirius says as he places a kiss on my neck.

“We’re steady.” Remus huskily says in my ear and then placing a kiss on my cheek.

“Okay. Okay!” I say with a trembling moan in my tone. “We’re not conceiving our baby on the sofa.”

Without any more words spoken, we head upstairs. Sirius throws me over his shoulder. Claims I was slowing them down. Before I know it, I’m being thrown on the bed and being looked at with nothing but lust and desire.

“What would you like to do, my love? This night is all about you.” James says.

I pretend to think for a moment.

“I believe we’re wearing too much clothing gentlemen.”

They all smirk at each other before undressing. I don’t move a muscle. I sit back and enjoy the show.

[lumosinlove]

12/18/20: Day Five

On the fifth day of Ficmas, Hazel gave to yA, SOLNTSE. IN. RUSSI-A.

“Lupin! We’re going to Dante’s for drinks, what do you think?”

Remus looked back at Marlene and Dorcas, over the auditorium seats. Dorcas held up two thumbs.

“Last hurrah before Christmas vacay?” she said.

Remus slung his bag over his shoulder and laughed. “Yeah, Dante’s sounds good.”

“You can bring your hot Russian, if you want,” Dorcas pressed a kiss to Marlene’s cheek. “It can be a double date.”

Remus looked at his phone. “He’s in a meeting until later, but let’s go. We have dinner plans, though, I’ll tell him to come pick me up there when he gets off the subway.”

They left the lecture hall with the rest of the class, filing quickly out the door at the promise of no work for a good month and the weather forecasting first snow tonight.

It was a short, ten minute walk along West 4th Street. Remus could practically smell the coming snow, and he smiled, thinking about walking with Sirius in it tonight after dinner. He thought of Sirius leaving their apartment that morning in his thick green coat, and wanted to see him in the snow.

“Our very own aperitivo,” Marlene sighed, looking at the small spread of meats and cheeses in front of them and taking a loving sip of her drink. “Oh, yes, it’s Christmas.”

Remus popped an olive in his mouth. “It feels like it, doesn’t it?”

“It’ll feel more like it when you’re in Russia,” Dorcas said. “Covered in snow, and furs, and caviar and six-foot-something of dark-haired beauty—”

“Yes, okay,” Remus laughed, trying to shush her and agree at the same time. “That’s probably true.”

“Don’t know about the caviar,” said a voice from behind Remus. “But want to see Remus in furs.”

Remus turned just in time to see Sirius’ teasing smile, cheeks flushed from the cold.

“Only furs?” Sirius said. “Just for me?”

Remus rolled his eyes but tilted his chin up so Sirius could kiss him gently.

Marlene laughed. “Hi, Sirius, how are you?”

“I’m good,” Sirius’ grin was bright and he straightened, keeping an arm around Remus. “Long day of meetings but, all over now, yes? Here for celebration dinner.”

“Well, we got him all warmed up for you. Took us fifteen minutes to get him to stop talking about the final.”

“He get to say it all over again for me, then,” Sirius said. “Will make him very happy.”

Remus rose, drawing his bag over his shoulder. “Okay, okay,” he laughed. “We’re going now. Thanks for drinks, Marls, that was really kind of you.”

“Merry Christmas!” Marlene sing-songed. “And happy From-Russia-With-Love trip!”

Remus laughed. “See you guys in the new year.”

“Hi,” Sirius whispered to him as they turned, pushing out the doors and back into the frost.

Remus took Sirius’ hand and brought his gloved knuckles to his lips. “Hi. Как дела?”

Sirius nodded. “Da, today was good. Starving, though.”

“Me, too. Do you know when you’re wanting something, and so waiting just takes ages?”

“Everyday, coming home to you.”

Remus wrapped his hand around Sirius’ arm and leaned up for a quick kiss. “Yes, that.”

“Now I’m take to dinner,” Sirius said. “Then it’s just us. No more waiting.” He glanced up. “Not even for snow.”

Remus saw the first flakes fall onto Sirius’ hat before he felt them himself, nipping at his cheeks.

“No more waiting.”

They sat in a cozy booth, sharing plates and a piece of chocolate cake.

“Sweet,” Sirius said, thumb brushing a smudge of frosting from Remus’ lip. “Remushya always likes sweet.”

Remus just smiled over his glass of wine. “I’m really excited, you know. I’m glad we’re going.”

Sirius nodded, sucking air between his teeth. “Yeah. Hope it…goes good, you know. I really don’t know.”

Remus smoothed a hand over his chest. “I’ll be there if it doesn’t. I’ve been there myself.”

“Yes,” Sirius said, curling his fingers around Remus’. “But not think about yet. First, we have two weeks in dacha. Just us.”

Remus leaned into Sirius’ side, cheek against the soft material of his suit. “Love you.”

“Я люблю тебя,” Sirius said back, lips against Remus’ temple. “Now. Tell me all about final.”

~

The elevator dinged open, and the New York snow looked even more amazing from their large windows. Plush, and falling slowly.

“At least it’s coming now and no during our flight,” Remus said as Sirius helped him out of his coat.

“Have to get up early,” Sirius sighed and wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist. “Then I’m take you to dacha bed and we sleep in.”

“Sleep?” Remus turned his head. “Is that what we’ll be doing?”

Sirius’ laugh was soft against his neck. “Sleep, sex. Wake up, have tea and I’m make you blini with jam and cream. Then I’m put you in nothing but furs on Christmas morning, Merry Christmas to me.”

Remus turned in his arms. “You could put me in nothing right now.” He wound his fingers through Sirius’ hair. “We really should be tired for such a long flight…make it go faster.”

Sirius bit his lip. “Right. That’s true.”

Remus pulled Sirius down and kissed him gently. “Yeah?”

Sirius grinned, walking backwards slowly. “Come now.”

~

Remus was exhausted and exhilarated all at once. He was surrounded by unfamiliar signs in an unfamiliar language. But then there was Sirius. He spoke fast, smoothly, got their bags and ordered to-go cups of tea for both of them, sweetened and milky. Sirius was rumpled and adorable in his white beanie and black puff coat. He had a thick scarf around his nose and his tea held in one hand, suitcase in the other.

“Car waiting,” he said in a sleep-scratched voice. “More sleep.”

Remus pulled his own hat lower over his ears. He could feel the cold from beneath the automatic airport doors. He wished it was light out, but the sun was long set.

“Eleven PM, right?” Remus asked, looking at the time settings on his phone.

“Yes,” Sirius said, taking a long sip of his tea. “We take train now. Take one day. Have our own cabin, I set it all up.” Sirius sent him a smile. “It’s one of my favorite things. Sleeper train to country, get away from cities for a bit.”

Remus tugged his suitcase and smiled. “Wish I could kiss you right now.”

“Me too, baby,” Sirius said. “Soon.”

The train station was dim and mostly empty, but they were escorted to one of the rear train cars by a woman in a pristine uniform like they themselves owned the train. She opened the door for them, showing them the different compartments of their car—a kitchenette, a bathroom, two bedrooms, and a sitting area, all complete with crystal light fixtures and broad, clear windows. She left them with a slight bow and the wooden door clicking closed, silencing most of the train’s noise.

He and Sirius grinned at each other for a moment as they set their bags down. The cabin was soft and inviting, the snow outside glinting as it rushed by.

“Look,” Remus said, pointing to blanket on the couch. “Furs.”

Sirius laughed out loud, tossing their coats to the sides and all but tackling Remus onto the couch. Their kisses quickly went from playful to slow, Sirius’ weight rocking against him with the slight movement of the train.

“Miss you,” Sirius whispered, licking into his mouth. “Even for hour car ride.”

Remus pressed his hands under Sirius’ shirt. “Take this off.”

They shed their winter-cool clothes in favor of warm skin on skin.

“Hm,” Sirius said into Remus’ kiss. “Suitcase. I’m get. Pick a bedroom.”

Remus smiled, stretching out on the couch, cock warm and pleasantly turned on against his hip, before swinging himself up and picking the left bedroom. The bed was tightly made with a white quilt. He glanced back at the main room, smiling at their trail of clothes and Sirius’ bare back bent over the suitcase.

Remus untucked the sheets, fluffing the quilt up near the end of the bed before falling against the pillows with a sigh.

“Are you coming?” Remus called, letting his thighs spread.

“I’m come!” Sirius’ voice said, and he appears in the doorway a moment later. He leaned against it, naked and smiling, eyes raking over Remus. “I’m really come, wow.”

Remus laughed as Sirius stroked himself once, twice, and then walked forward to kneel at the end of the bed. Remus watched him look out the window, beautiful and silver in the night and the moon that silhouetted the trees.

“Looks cold out there,” he said. “Warm in here, though.”

Remus held out his arms and Sirius leaned over him, bracketing him in.

“Come here,” Remus laughed, pushing Sirius’ hips down against his with his heels. “We’re in Russia.”

Sirius let out a soft sound as their cocks brushed together. “You’re my home now, Remushya. Russia is special place but…it’s you.”

Remus pressed closer to him, closing his eyes at the feeling of Sirius’ skin on his. They kissed with no hurry, Sirius’ fingers heavy, and then light, and then heavy again, making him pant and push back against his touch. The train seemed to cradle them both, even as Sirius cradled Remus. Sirius’ first press inside Remus was swayed by the rocking of the train, making Remus’ eyes squeeze shut as he clutched to Sirius’ back.

“Remushya,” Sirius’ voice came out strained and breathless, mouth pressed to Remus’ neck. “Yes, yes, baby…”

Remus ran his hands down Sirius’ sides to his ass, feeling the muscles that indented at his hips every time he fucked forward.

“Can we,” Remus curled a hand around the back of Sirius’ neck and scraped his teeth against his jaw. “Harder?”

Remus felt cooped up and stiff from the plane. He wanted—he needed it all out somehow, the nerves about meeting Sirius’ family, the stress and elation of the last semester, his overwhelming love for Sirius that never seemed to yield. He needed it to be explosive, he needed it pressed into his skin.

“I’m do,” Sirius said with a smile. “But have to stay quiet. Can you? Don’t know if you can.”

Remus laughed, biting his lip against the next groan that threatened as Sirius stroked just right inside of him. He nodded. “Please.”

Sirius got his knees under him, his arms under Remus’ back to hold him close. It gave him enough leverage that, the next time he snapped his hips forward, the effect felt doubled. Remus’ head fell back, mouth open.

“Shh,” Sirius said with a soft kiss, and then snapped his hips forward again. He didn’t pick up the pace, but ground in hard each time their hips met.

“Ah,” Remus smothered the sound against Sirius’ neck, breathing harshly. Sirius barely gave him time to catch his breath before he did it again. The soft sheets slipped beneath Remus’ back, but Sirius didn’t let him go.

“So good, Remus,” Sirius panted. “Is good?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Remus chanted breathlessly. His lips dragged along Sirius’ neck, kissing and relishing. “You’re so—ah—“

“Shh,” Sirius’ laugh ended in a soft moan of his own, and Remus pressed a hand over his own mouth, laughing, too.

“No, no, like to see,” Sirius sat back on his heels, chest broad and tanned in the warm light of the cabin. Remus watched his brows knit as he looked down at where his cock dipped in and out of Remus’ body. “Fuck, so much to see.” He smiled at Remus, bending to kiss his chest before sitting back again and pressing into him slowly. “We get home, I’m make you say everything. No one but us.”

Remus watched as Sirius took hold of his hips and fucked forward again, and again, faster than before. Remus whined softly, his cock red and drooling against his stomach now. Heat spread over his chest, from where Sirius was warm inside of him, heavy and aching.

“Sirius,” Remus said, and Sirius fell forward again, Remus’ heels urging him closer. He tangled his fingers into Sirius’ dark hair, kissing him. Remus’ breath caught, his head falling back as his orgasm built, as Sirius’ cock brushed his prostate over again. He felt swollen against his stomach, balls drawn up. “I’m—”

Sirius jerked, a sound ripping out of his mouth as Remus clenched around him, coming between them without a hand.

“Baby,” Sirius groaned. “Baby…” he fucked Remus through it, more slowly now, dragging and careful as Remus’ cock spat out thick ropes of come. A moment later, Remus felt Sirius’ own heat, heard it in the way Sirius’ breathing stopped and the started again, in the way he pressed hard into Remus to ride it out.

Remus still remembered how this part used to feel. The obligation. The preparing his tired body to get up, get dressed, and walk home.

But the memory was faint now. Now, he was being kissed all over his chest and neck, his eyes closed as he laughed tiredly, hand rubbing the back of Sirius’ neck.

“Better every time,” Sirius’ low voice said, kissing along his jaw. “How you do that?”

“Me? You.”

Remus opened his eyes to see Sirius looking down at him. His hair was a mess from the traveling and the sex, he had tired circles under his eyes and chapped lips, and Remus had never seen anything better, anything brighter.

They couldn’t share the tiny cabin shower, but they managed the bed, squeezed in tight and warm.

Remus fell asleep with Sirius’ front pressed all along his back, and the world just beginning to lighten outside, above the moving landscape of Russia.

When Remus woke again a few hours later, it was to Sirius’ voice in the sitting area, speaking soft Russian. Remus waited until he heard the cabin door close, and then slipped his feet into the slippers that were waiting at the foot of the bed, and pulled one of Sirius’ sweatshirts on before opening the bedroom door.

Sirius was removing lids from dishes on a breakfast tray, set out on the table by one of the large windows. The world was a blissful white forest outside, the sun a watery dot in the sky.

“Wow,” Remus said, looking out. “We’re in Narnia.”

“Narnia?” Sirius laughed. “Oh, right. Cupboard movie. Yes, we meet spy goat soon.”

Remus laughed as he sat, tilting his chin up towards Sirius. “Доброе утро.”

Sirius set the tea he had been pouring down and took Remus’ face between his hands.

“Good morning, Remushya,” he whispered, and kissed him softly.

They pulled into a tiny station a few hours later, and, as Sirius drove a rental car through winding snowy streets, they only met a few small towns. The house they pulled up to, however, if not large, was tall and ornate. It was all white, blending in with the snow, and had carved shutters and trimming.

“It’s like a gingerbread house,” Remus said as they got out, pulling his coat closer against the cold. “Baby, it’s beautiful.”

Sirius beamed and wrapped an arm around Remus, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“Just us,” he said when they reached the door, and leaned down for a kiss while turning the key in the lock.

The entrance hall was a blast of warm air and Remus opened his mouth to voice his relief when—

“Sivushka?”

The voice made both of them jump.

There was a boy with dark hair and familiar eyes standing there. Regulus, Remus recognized from photos. Sirius’ brother.

“Regulus?” Sirius said, and in Russian, “What are you doing here?”

Regulus had only opened his mouth to respond when there was another voice from down the hall, and Remus was able to translate those words.

“Reg?” it said. “Who is it?”

A blond boy appeared, wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants. He had the palest blue eyes Remus had ever seen.

“My brother,” Regulus said, still in Russian. “And—someone.”

“What are you doing here?” Sirius asked again. He didn’t sound demanding, but almost—whiny. Remus watched a smile pull at Regulus’ mouth.

After that, all Remus caught was family and home. He guessed Regulus was saying that he had just as much right to be there as Sirius did.

“Sirius?” Remus said hesitantly.

“English?” Regulus said incredulously, looking at him.

“This is Remus,” Sirius said, and then hissed a curse back. He looked at Remus again. “So sorry, I…Remus, not know they be here.”

“It’s okay,” Remus shook his head. “It’s completely fine. Do they…”

“No, can’t really understand us. Well, Regulus can’t but…don’t know blond man.” Sirius turned, asking. “Dima.”

“His…” Remus prompted.

Sirius’ expression went surprised, and he looked again. The brothers stared each other down. Remus sent Dima an awkward wave. Dima waved back.

Sirius said something in Russian and Regulus raised an eyebrow, shaking his head.

Sirius looked back at Remus. “Friends. Fishing and hunting.”

Remus nodded. “Oh.”

“I really surprise, I…” Sirius huffed out a laugh, but his face went firm again when he looked back at Regulus.

Remus looked around Sirius at the two of them and, in Russian, said, “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Remus.”

Regulus and Dima looked at each other, then laughed.

“What are you speaking?”

Remus smiled a little, face flushing. “I know I don’t speak well.”

“Do you have to be so rude?” Sirius sighed, and took their bags. “Did you take the good rooms?”

Regulus shrugged. “Of course, it is just the two of us. Why wouldn’t we?”

Sirius rolled his eyes and turned to Remus. “Be right back. Is okay?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah, go ahead.”

Sirius nodded and started trudging up the stairs with the suitcases.

“You may be big in America, but you’re just my brother, here!” Regulus called after him, then looked at Remus, standing alone and shrugging out of his coat.

“English?” Regulus said, in English this time. Remus nodded.

Regulus shook his head, pointing to himself. “Sorry. Dima—”

“I have better,” Dima said. “You are friend?”

“Oh,” Remus stuttered. “Um—”

“Boyfriend,” Regulus said in Russian, and Remus stared at him, trying to gage his reaction.

Regulus waved him off. “He thinks I don’t know.”

“But…you do?” Remus said.

“Yes.”

“You tell him?” Remus asked.

“He will tell me, now,” Regulus turned and walked down the hall.

“Please,” Dima said, and gestured for Remus to follow him.

Regulus looked uncannily like Sirius although, where Sirius was rounded out with muscle and his shoulders broad, Regulus was leaner, his features sharper.

“We…have lunch?” Dima said. “Yes? For you and Sirius?”

“Yes, please,” Remus smiled at him, then, in Russian, “I help?”

Sirius came back down to Remus chopping a tomato while Regulus fried something that he had called Kotlety in a pan. It looked like meatballs, only breaded and more fragrant.

Sirius eyed it, and Remus recognized the word uncle from Regulus. Regulus nodded.

“He say it is uncle’s recipe,” Dima supplied, and Sirius looked at him.

“Do you speak English?” he said.

Dima shrugged. “Some. I try but…not many times I need.”

Sirius nodded. “I understand. It is hard language.”

Regulus forked the steaming Kotlety onto four plates and Dima topped each with sour cream and onions. Regulus took the tomato Remus had been chopping and placed it on thick slices of brown bread, along with some ham.

“How long are you here, Sivushka?” Regulus asked when they were all sitting at the cozy kitchen table. Snow was falling in fat flakes outside, and Remus took a moment to look out at the land. It looked vast, with a frozen lake in the distance.

I’m here for Christmas and New Year’s,” Sirius replied around his food. “You know that.”

Reuglus said something and Sirius leaned in to translate. “I told my parents I come in two weeks. Wanted to be here with you before.”

Regulus’ next words had Sirius pale, and Remus guessed they had something to do with their relationship because, after a moment, Sirius took Remus’ hand tightly in his own.

“Da,” he said simply.

The table went silent. Remus watched Sirius look at his brother. His gaze was steely, the way it got while he was working, or on the phone, sometimes. But Remus knew how much hope and fear lay just beneath.

“Okay,” Regulus said, and went back to his food.

Remus raised a shoulder when Sirius looked at him, expression surprised. “He said he already knew…”

“How?” Sirius said in English, and then again in Russian.

Regulus just scooped his left over sour cream with the last of his bread and leaned back in his chair.

“Are you going to—” was all Remus understood from what he said next.

“I can’t,” Sirius sighed. “Even if I want to. It’s your house, too.”

Remus gathered Regulus was asking if Sirius was going to make them leave.

Regulus just shrugged, and when Sirius rolled his eyes again, Remus fought back a laugh. Sirius with his brother was different.

“Okay,” Sirius said in English—maybe just to annoy Regulus. “We’re jet lagged, we’re going to nap. Remushya, come, I show you house.”

Regulus’ eyebrows raised at the nickname.

“Thank you about lunch,” Remus stuttered out, and followed Sirius out of the room.

The bedroom Sirius led them to was warm, too, and Remus was full and feeling the full effect of the time difference. He groaned and fell down onto the bed on his back.

“Well, that was surprising,” he laughed.

Sirius fell down beside him. “Very.”

“Hey,” Remus turned onto his side, hand on Sirius’ chest. “At least he took it well. He seemed okay.”

“Regulus is not my mother,” Sirius sighed. “Or my father. I love them, I do…and I miss them, but…have see so many new things since leaving home. I’m worry—worry they don’t understand. They’re harsh people. I’m just—not really know.”

Sirius sighed again and pulled Remus onto his chest. “We sleep now. So tired. Maybe they are gone when we wake up, just bad dream.”

Remus laughed. “Maybe.”

~

Remus woke up groggily to Sirius closing the bedroom door as gently as he could. He winced when he turned to meet Remus’ tired eyes.

“Sorry, baby,” then, he rolled his. “Not just bad dream. Still here.”

Remus snorted, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

“Almost dinner time. Slept for maybe four hours. Should get up now.”

Remus sat up slowly. He felt like he had sunk half way through the bed to the floor. Sirius laughed softly at the sight, coming to sit on the edge of the bed and stroke a palm over Remus’ sleep-heated cheek.

“I’m bring you orange juice, okay? It help with sleepy.”

Remus hummed, fingers closing around Sirius’ wrist. “Just a little longer. Come here.”

“We get so off schedule,” Sirius warned.

“We have nowhere to be,” Remus smiled as Sirius swayed forward with the words. He kissed his lips, easing him down over him until he could wrap his arms around his waist. “Come here, love.”

Sirius laughed softly, but settled down.

Dinner was delicious and not as awkward as lunch. The brothers seemed to be getting along better, and they made Remus feel alright about needing a translation.

Things got more serious after dinner. They were drinking tea spiked with strong liquor, and Remus felt warm all over, tucked into Sirius’ side. Dima and Regulus were stretched out on the floor in front of the fire, eating some sort of caramel candy.

“When was the last time you talked to mother?” Remus made out Regulus saying.

He felt Sirius stiffen beside him. “Um. Last week. Confirming plans.”

Regulus eyed him carefully, pushing himself up from resting on his elbows to resting back on his palms.

“This is what will happen, okay?” Regulus said, elbows moving to rest on his knees. His dark hair was framed by the firelight. “I’m telling you right now.”

“Okay…” Sirius began.

“They’re not going to be okay in the beginning,” Regulus said. “But I can see you think you are going to be in danger. That isn’t true.”

Sirius sighed. “I don’t think danger, I just think…” Sirius looked down. “I will no longer be…you know, the successful child. I’ll be something else.”

Regulus scoffed. “You’re the successful child because I am the unsuccessful child, not because of your love life.” Regulus shook his head. “Sirius, they love you. This is true, at least.”

“But what if not after?” Sirius said, then pressed his lips together. He wrapped his arm around Remus more tightly. “After they know.”

“Then…” Regulus began. “Then I convince them.”

Sirius looked up. “You would?”

Remus looked at Sirius, trying to gage his reaction—his real reaction.

Regulus tilted his head from side to side. “Okay, fine. Then I try to convince them.”

“You—” Remus began, trying to find the words. “Maybe, yes, you help. Good to have brother. Other people.”

“I brought Remus because…” Sirius looked at Remus, eyes searching and worried. “I wanted them to meet him before they decide how they…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Regulus said. “Remus just said. I’m your brother.”

Sirius let out a breath, rubbing his eyes and then staring at the fire. “I’m scared.”

“You don’t have to be scared of me,” Regulus said.

“How was I suppose to know that?” Sirius snapped. “We don’t speak.”

“And whose fault is that?”

Sirius opened his mouth, paused, and then closed it again. Remus felt him sag a little against his side and held him tighter.

Regulus sighed. He looked at Dima, and Remus watched him raised a shoulder. Then, he finished off his glass and looked back at Sirius.

“We’re leaving in the morning,” he said, and the rest was lost on Remus, but he didn’t look upset. “It’s fine, it’s fine, we will go back to be, what?”

He said a word in Russian and then Dima said, “spoiled.”

“Spoiled by mama’s cooking.”

“And we see you at Christmas,” Dima said in English.

“Reg…” Sirius said.

“Really, it’s okay,” Regulus nodded and stood. “You deserve good things, Sirius. And you, Remus. And…I want you to have good memories now…even if the later ones aren’t. Know it’s okay with me.” Then, he looked at Remus. “Our family will like you.”

“I hope so,” Remus replied and Regulus laughed.

“You really do have a horrible accent.”

Remus laughed, too. “I know.”

He looked at Sirius, and was glad to see the faintest of smiles there on his face.

The next morning, they watched Regulus and Dima pull out and down the road from the living room window, and then Remus smiled, feeling arms around his waist. He could smell the fresh blinis waiting on the counter for them.

“I think he’s right,” Remus said, imagining the two of them driving down that same road, towards Sirius’ family home. “I think it will be okay.”

“I hope. But now, just us,” Sirius said with a gentle kiss to his neck.

Remus leaned against him. “Just us.”

[futurewriter2000]

You’re a mean one - pt. 4

A/N: Okay so I don’t know how to make things with Abernathy but I am having some pretty good ideas about it so your choice if you want more Abernathy in or do you want me to make it less complicated. 

XX

It was like that. It was always like that. 

You just thought that since that conversation the two of you had grown you closer together or at least created a bond- friendship? Trust? 

But how else could you describe your life if it wasn’t disappointing? 

Your hair was a mess, meanwhile yesterday it was perfect. You actually put effort into your appearance for him. You caught feelings for him and he just- he just didn’t see.

Worst of all. He ignored you. 

He talked with his friends. He walked and then this girl appeared out of nowhere and put her hand on his back, rubbing it as if she was his. She wasn’t. She’s not for him. He’s better than her in every sense of the world. 

And you’re not for him either. You know that or else he wouldn’t ignore you the way he does- and the two of you are just too different. From two completely diverse worlds. And though you knew that, though you knew that you and he are never meant to be, you were still hurt. Hurt more than you should have been. 

So yesterday you slept all day. You slept and you dreamt wonderful things but then you woke up in the middle of the night and realized that those wonderful things will never take place in your life. That those are dreams and nothing else. And this is a reality. 

So you got up at 00.26 and you went to the bathroom, took off your makeup and went back to your bed. You tucked yourself and looked at the clock just before you went back to sleep at 01.08. 

You didn’t go to school. You didn’t want to see him even though he was everything you thought about. But still, you chose to stay in bed and sleep until you had an enormous headache and back pains. Around 11.09 you got a letter from your father, shaming you as the most irresponsible daughter for not going to class because “you’re sick”. 

But in a way. You did feel like that. You felt sick. You felt like you weren’t normal anymore. You missed those days of being happy. Of not caring about your past, your future, your present. You just wanted that childhood happiness back. Just be happy.

You’re not anymore. 

You feel alone but much more than that you feel like if you died right now, nobody would turn a second eye. You’d just be gone and that’s it. It’s like you are so small nobody can even see you. That feeling was massive.

But something popped into your brain that made you think of something else. You jumped off your bed, put your bra on, sweatpants, your hair in a sustainable bun and you walked down the stairs.

It was at the portrait hole that before you went in a group of people climbed out. He climbed out.

He jumped right in front of you, grinning. "Finally feeling better, princess?" he joked and you just rolled your eyes, pushing him away and climbing through the portrait hole.

"Don't make me catch you after curfew (y/l/n)!" James shouted after you, his laugh echoing behind.

But he didn't really care about curfew or if you come back or not. Even if he was a Head Boy, the last thing he would do was to notice you weren’t where you should have been. 

Nobody noticed until the next day when Alice came down to breakfast.

"Did the hermit finally come back to the cave?" Marlene laughed but Alice only rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Nope. I haven't seen her. She didn't come to any of her classes this morning nor back up to our dorm. I'm kind of worried about her."

"All her stuff is still there. She probably hooked up with someone." she said and by now Sirius was listening intensely.

"Who are we talking about?" he asked.

"Your colashoo buddy." Marlene smiled.

"Wait. She didn't come yesterday back?"

"Nope. Why are you guys worrying so much, like-look!" she said, pointing her finger at the distance. "She's just there..." her voice trailed off when she saw a familiar Slytherin coming after you.

You were still in the same clothes as you were before except your hoodie wasn't the grey Gryffindor one but a black-green Slytherin one.

They were all staring as you laughed in the arms of one of the Slytherins. Paris Abernathy.

"What the hell is she doing with that dickhead?" Sirius gritted his teeth.

He saw you in his arms and he just became enraged. How his hand was loosely hanging on your shoulder, a toothpick pointing out from his perfectly straight white teeth and his lips always so close to your ears, whispering something and causing you to giggle.

"I gotta go now." you smiled, taking his arm off your shoulder and holding his hand.

"Alright." he pulled you back close, hugging you closely. "I'll see you again tonight?"

"Same place?"

"Never the same place, luv." he winked. "I'll send you a note." your fingertips were barely touching due to the distance. "And keep that hoodie. Pissed Gryffindors are always my favorite Gryffindors."

---

Finally, after the whole hot water ran out, you stepped out of the bathtub and wrapped your red towel around your waist. You quickly braided your hair for some nice curls when they dry out, put your T-shirt on, shorts and walked out of the bathroom, finding them all in the room.

"Wow. So much for privacy." you rolled your eyes, draping the wet towel on the edge of the bed and sitting behind the mirror.

"It's our dorm as well. " said Marlene.

"Feels like more than five people live here." you spun around, looking at the other five boys here. "Oh, wait. They almost do." you stood up, went back to the bathroom, cast a charm to dry your hair faster, went back to the mirror and started putting on makeup.

"So, Abernathy?" Marlene started, meanwhile others listened but you didn't answer. "When did the two of you become a-"

"Since my business doesn't concern you. " you replied plainly, not even letting her finish.

"I'm just asking, no need to be a bitch."

"Marlene." you turned around with a fake smile. "You don't ask. You drill into people so you can make fun of them later and spread gossips." you turned back around. "Maybe because you don't have a life to preoccupy yourself with, you stuck your nose into mine."

It was quiet all of a sudden and that silence was exactly the effect that plastered that pleased sly smile on your lips. You didn’t mind the hurt feelings, you just wanted to quickly change and do your hair before this would resolve into unnecessary drama.

"What happened to you?" Sirius said all of a sudden, knitting his eyebrows together.

"I knew you never really cared." you turned around to him, scoffing to yourself. "What happened to me? Didn't you listen to me last time? I finally became selfish like all of you." you threw the brush on the table and went to your wardrobe, pulling out your black jeans, a tight T-shirt and a jacket.

"No. You just turned into a bitch." he stood up.

"Yeah." you smiled wickedly, walked towards him and put your hand on his shoulder. "Thank you for that." you walked by him, grabbed your wallet and hopped down the stairs.

He stood there for a moment before turning around and looking at the others. "She's high. Her pupils are way too-”

“Merlin, Sirius!” Marlene groaned furiously, getting off her bed. “Why do you care so much about her?! It’s her life! She can do whatever she wants with it, whether that’s getting high or shagging the Slytherin’s biggest trouble maker! Her  stupid choice!”

“You don’t get it Marlene!” he snapped at her. “How can you say those things when she’s been your roommate for whole 7 years here in Hogwarts! You don’t know shit about her because you never even tried!”

“Mate, that’s enough.” James tried to calm him down but Sirius just couldn’t.

“No. I know you’re pissed that she was mean to you just three seconds ago but she was right about something, Marls. You don’t have your own fucking life so you go snoop into others.” and he stormed out of the room. 

---

It was at night when he was sitting alone in the Shrieking Shack when he realized just how much he was over-exaggerating about the whole situation. Marlene was right. You can do whatever you want with your life but drugs? That wasn’t you. You wouldn’t choose that. You’re smarter than that. And Paris Abernathy? That fool? Why him? 

It’s not like he was being jealous or anything but you could do so much better than Abernathy. He knew that Sirius himself and you would never work. Not in a million years because the two of you are just too different to work together. Constantly arguing about the slightest things. 

But that was just it. You were so fiery all the time and just at the thought of your angry eyebrows and your pursed together lips made him smile. He just loved seeing you so frustrated with him but at the same time, he loved seeing you so peaceful and calm- like the day he woke up next to you. 

He remembers the first time he saw you sleep, he barely opened his eyes and all he could see was your lips because your hair was covering the rest of your face. Your cheek was pressed on the pillow softly, making your plush lips shaped like a duck’s lip. You were so beautiful- so graceful in those white sheets. Your bare shoulder was in the open meanwhile your hands dug deep under the pillow, bringing it closer to your head. 

“Merlin-” he said out loud, looking up at the ceiling of the room and smiling. This time he remembered the time the two of you were stuck on the floor a few steps away from the portrait hole. After that heart-touching moment, the two of you mostly laughed and teased each other until the shoe-sticking charm broke loose. You had one of the most adorable laughs. It was different than with the others but there really was something in you that just brought all the light into the room and that was the feature he loved you for the most. 

Loved. That’s a strong word to use because he didn’t really know if he loved you. He loved James, like a brother but loving you? That was a bit extreme. Maybe he cared for you enough to think about you all the time. Whether you were okay or not, how you felt and how you walked those halls so bravely. 

You were your own person. You didn’t need friends like he did. You were independent meanwhile Sirius always needed somebody to be there with him.

True- he thought you were doing fine after the whole sho-sticking fiasco. You looked completely fine and he didn’t much bother because maybe you were embarrassed after what you told him? Maybe all you needed was space and that was what he gave you. Your space. 

But what if just by giving you that space drove you into Abernathy’s arms?

He has to ask you. he needs to ask you why Abernathy? Are the two of you sleeping together?- That question put some awful thoughts into his head, he didn’t want to picture and just that almost drove him over the edge to storm into the dungeons and strangle that piece of shit. He doesn’t get to see you in the mornings. Abernathy is too corrupt to see just how graceful you get to be when you sleep because then, he would just exploit that. He would use you- maybe even drive you to your madness.

No. Not Abernathy. You won’t be with him. You won’t. Not on his watch.

[theoneryderlynn]

Self Para || What A Man Gotta Do

Location: Lima, Ohio.

Date: May 12th, 2020

Notes: Ryder goes back to Lima to ask a very important question. 

Major thanks to the incredible B (@thesongbirdmarleyrose) for writing Millie’s parts!!! ❤️ 

“How do you do that? I’ve tried so many times, and it’s never as great.” Ryder took another sip of his mother’s Cafecito, the taste of its sweet foam still present in his mouth. He had just arrived in Lima, and happily visited his mom so he could prepare for one of the biggest moments of his life. Telling your significant other’s mother that you’re about to propose to her daughter seemed so surreal when Ryder analyzed it in his head, yet, it was the right thing to do. Marley loved her mother, so he was sure she’d appreciate how much he cared about Millie’s opinion.

He’d got lost in his thoughts for a moment before he noticed his mother sitting in front of him, sipping her cup of coffee. 

“Am I led to believe that you being here while your father’s visiting the UCLA med school is a coincidence?” She spoke, raising her eyebrows a little, a warm smile on her face.

“Uh, yeah, I mean, I need to sort something out in Lima. It’s kinda important, so it had to be done this week”.

“I see. Where’s Marley? I bet she’d love to see her mom. Are you guys, okay?” Maria Lynn shuffled a bit closer to her son, concern in her voice was evident.

“She’s fine, yeah. We’re perfectly okay. I just...I need to do this thing on my own, and I told her I was here for work which isn’t exactly the truth, unfortunately, I couldn’t tell her why I’m visiting so yeah…” Ryder spoke very quickly, he didn’t like lying to his girlfriend, but he couldn’t share the reason for his short Lima trip. It’d ruin the surprise. He put the cup of coffee to his mouth, trying to take a sip, not realizing that it was empty.

“Mom, can I have one more cup of coffee?” 

“You’ve already had two, that’s enough.”

Ryder bounced a little bit on his chair. He was so nervous, “If you say so…” He grumbled, before lifting himself and crossing his legs over each other. His mother knew something was up, so she kept quiet as she was drinking her coffee.

“I have a question.” Ryder finally spoke up after a moment of silence, “Imagine a very hypothetical situation. Very hypothetical.” He stated philosophically, looking over to his mother. He took his empty mug and started staring at its Spiderman design, trying to distract himself for a moment.

“So if Freya was dating a guy who wanted to marry her...which I’m sure will happen sooner or later.” Ryder said, knowing that his mom and his sister talked to each other every day, “And he would decide to visit you to ask for your permission...Hypothetically.” Ryder emphasized the last word, “What would you want him to say? What would you wanna hear?”

His mother scrunched her nose up as she listened to his question, “Well, I’m sure he’d rather talk to your dad.” She replied casually, before crossing her arms and leaning back on the chair, a small smirk present on her face.

“Yeah, but what if dad wasn’t here? Like...it’s a hypothetical situation.” Ryder realized that he was now staring at the ceiling, “What if dad had to go on a year-long conference or something. And you’d be here on your own. I know it won’t happen since you’re a kickass pediatrician and an awesome doctor, and you do lectures as well; it’s just...a situation. A possible scenario.” He rambled on as he ruffled his hair, still avoiding eye contact.

Maria Lynn chuckled as she listened carefully to her son’s words, clearly amused by most of them, “Oh, Ry.” She said with a smile, finally meeting her boy’s eyes, “Go and talk to Millie. She loves you, she’s known you for years, I’m sure she’ll be so happy to hear that you two are ready for the next step.” 

“MOM, IT’S A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION,” Ryder said utterly seriously. He started playing with his fingers for a moment, before he stood up, “Uh, I gotta go.” 

“If it is a hypothetical situation…” His mother started, which caused Ryder to immediately take a seat once again, “If I had known the guy for years, I would happily give him my blessing and it wouldn’t matter what he’d tell me. I would know that he loves my daughter more than anything; it’s everything I could’ve ever wanted for her.” She said with a genuine smile on her face, knowing that it was precisely what her son needed.

Ryder nodded slowly, “Thanks, mom. And remember - it’s a hypothetical situation. So, ugh…” He bit on his lower lip nervously, “Can we keep this conversation between us?” He asked quietly, rubbing his right cheek, not really sure what to do with his hands. 

“Absolutely, honey.”

“Awesome.” Ryder replied, “Awesome. Awesome.” He repeated, before standing up and heading towards the hallway. He knew he was ready, “Uhm, I’ll be back soon. I need to, you know…” He pointed awkwardly at the door after putting his jacket on.

“I’ll make dinner. I was thinking of doing some of your favorites…” His mother said with a massive smile on her face. Food usually perked him up.

“Empanadas!” Ryder almost jumped, bringing up one of his favorite dishes.

“Actually, I wanted to make double cheese arepas. They’ll be ready when you get back.” 

“Oh my, yes, please! Thanks, mom!” His eyes widened as he quickly ran towards the door, “I’ll be back soon! Can’t miss those arepas.” He said excitedly, before storming out of his parents’ house, ready for one of the most important conversations of his life.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Okay, you got this. You got this.” Ryder walked back and forth, making sure that he wouldn’t get too close to the Rose household. He took a deep breath and almost approached the front door before turning back, “No, I can’t. I suck, I don’t know what to say.”

He realized he was talking to himself. Never in a million years, he would’ve thought he’d be so stressed. He closed his eyes for a moment and let himself breathe for a couple of minutes. If someone saw him right now, they’d think he was an idiot. Ryder took his phone and glanced at his lock screen. A small smile curled at the corners of his mouth as he saw himself with his girlfriend, their love so apparent in the picture, “Okay, babe. I’m so gonna nail this”. He said, still staring at the photo, somehow seeing Marley gave him confidence.

He knocked at the door and rocked back and forth on his heels waiting for Marley’s mom to open. When she finally did, Ryder felt speechless. Damn it. While he’d spent so much time with Millie over the past years, he had no idea what to say at that particular moment.

“Hi, Ms. Rose!” He gave her an awkward wave, “I was just in town, and I thought I’d come by and visit.” Ryder babbled, “Just in case, Marley’s fine, she’s in New York, she’s doing great, we’re cool…” He trailed off for a second, trying to find suitable words to describe the situation, “She doesn’t know I’m here, and please, please don’t tell her you saw me. I can explain, I just wanna keep it between us. It’s not what you think.” He lowered his voice as he rambled on, knowing that he probably sounded like a fool. It was clear that he was very nervous.

As Millie opened her door, she was a bit surprised to see Ryder standing there especially without her daughter. Once the young man had insured her that her daughter was okay, she relaxed a bit. As he talked, she nodded in understanding. The poor boy seemed nervous, so it must be he had something important to say or ask. She had some idea what it could be, but regardless reminded herself to keep an open mind. After Ryder explained himself, she invited him in.

He thanked Ms. Rose as he was invited inside. Ryder left his jacket and his shoes in the hallway and followed the woman inside the house. He smiled at some of the memories that involved this place; he remembered the times when he used to visit Marley every day during summer vacation, and they’d just make out in her room hoping that her mom wouldn’t walk in on them. Good, old college times.

Millie continued to watch him as they moved to the kitchen. If it was something important he wanted to talk to her about, then she figured it would be best they were comfortable and sitting. After they were both seated, she asked if he needed anything to drink or eat. After he decline, she sat back and waited for him to start talking about what he wanted to discuss with her.

Ryder took a seat on the couch in the living room, his hands shaking a little bit. After being asked if he’d have anything to drink, he declined. He definitely didn’t need more coffee or tea.

“Uhm, so you’re probably wondering why I’m here…” He started out chewing on his lip a little. It’s now or never.

As the boy spoke, a smile crossed Millie’s face. “It had crossed my mind why you are here.” She hoped that her smile would put him at ease some.

Ryder looked over at Marley’s mom, trying to remember to keep eye contact with her all the time, something he usually struggled with during some crucial conversations.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m acting weird, but I just wanted to talk about something pretty important.” He spoke, remembering his mom’s words. His feelings were the dealbreakers here, “I’m thrilled that Marls and I have made it to New York. It’s been really great so far, we’re healthy, we’re doing okay, and she’s also about to release some new music. It’s kind of like a dream come true.”

“I’m very glad you are  healthy and okay. You two both deserve nothing, but good things and I’m glad you are getting them even if it’s in another state,” she said while mostly teasing about that last statement.

“I love Marley with all my heart; she’s my home, she’s my dream. I believe I can’t be fully happy if I don’t have her in my life. You know how she is…smart, talented, cute…it’s kinda hard to live without all of this in your life.” He grinned, his eyes sparkling as was talking, “I know her, and I know how close you two are, and I just thought she’d want me to talk to you first…it seems like the right thing to do.”

Even though part of her wanted to speak, she knew that it must be hard for Ryder to get out what he was trying to say judging on how nervous he appeared. So, she sat quietly and nodded appropriately.

Ryder took a deep breath for a moment before he continued, “Which is why I’m here, and that’s the reason why I haven’t told her about this trip.” He explained with a small shrug, “Ms. Rose, I would like to ask Marley to marry me, and I would love your permission and blessing. If you say ‘no,’ I’ll wait. You’ve known me for years, and you know how I feel about your daughter. I’ll do my best to make her happy for the rest of my life.”

He still kept his eyes focused on Marley’s mom, hoping that she saw how genuine he was being. Even if his girlfriend’s parents had never made it to marriage, he knew that Millie wanted the best for her child, so he sincerely hoped the woman saw his best intentions. All he had to do was wait for the woman’s response.

His question only came as somewhat of a surprise. Millie knew that the two of them were getting more serious and the next step seemed to be heading towards a marriage. It touched her that Ryder would think to ask her permission. Usually this kind of thing was saved for the father, but since Marley’s dad hadn’t been around for years, she was happy he had thought to ask her. Millie knew how happy Ryder made her daughter. Millie could remember back when they weren’t even dating yet acted like a couple. Marley had been in denial back then, but now she was not shy to say how in love she was. Marriage may not have been in the cards for her, but Millie was glad that wasn’t turning her daughter away from marriage or love. After a few minutes of thinking, she knew that Ryder was expecting an answer.

Millie took a deep breath and looked at the young man seriously. “So you are asking me for my daughter’s hand in marriage? I don’t know,” she paused for a moment before smiling, “How I couldn’t say yes. You make my daughter so happy and I can tell that you really care for her. I know you will do right by her because you have for the past few years. I’m happy that you will be the man she marries. She deserves her happily ever after and I’m glad that it will be with you.  So just in case there was any confusion, I absolutely give you my blessing and I promise not to tell Marley. Welcome to the family Ryder,” she told him with a smile and stood up to give him a hug.

[persephonesgossip-blog]

fondue for the mudracker

A New Beginning

Yo and Hello from JBI and Brittany Pierce, here to bring you the hottest gossip and introduce our newest speciality.  Minus the cheese, there’s a total lack of cheese, we’re working on it.

We all love The Sirens and Divine Influence, obviously - who doesn’t? And since some of us can’t see the tour live RIP all you broke fangirls and tiny children, we wanna make sure you get to see all the drama. So welcome to our new blog for all the ladies on Persephone’s Tour. As The L-Word taught us, too many ladies all together is gonna bring some MAJOR drama. And lady loin tingles.

Speaking of that specific l-word, let’s start out with the only one who’s officially used that word - little Miss Kat Hummel...

Of course we’re all major fans of Kat’s Korner (maybe not all of us?) and we’re stoked for her upcoming fashion line, but is that all we want from her? Of course not! We want her to be rocking with The Sirens 24/7! But is that what Kat wants? The answer is maybe a yes. Rumor has it that Kat is going to drop out of the band to focus on her fashion endeavors. Probably because her socialblade suggests that reviewing shoes and bringing Marley on here and there can only give her so much ad rev. She lacks cheese, I’m telling you, cheese and cats = YouTube success.

She might also just be tiring of certain members of the band. “Members” being used very lightly. Her stepsister, Fiona Hudson, is playing drums for The Sirens, who don’t have their own drummer, on tour. Obviously they’ve used drummers before, and Kat seemed friendly enough with other replacement drummers...but have you noticed how little she mentions Fiona on social media? How Fiona is the only Siren-of-sorts who hasn’t appeared in a Kat’s Korner video? The two don’t seem very close at all. Could family tensions force her to leave? Maybe so, especially since both Marley and Norah could easily take over keyboard and possibly bass when needed. Spoiler alert, Fiona’s height probs makes Kat feel too tiny since she wants to be the biggest thing in the band. Too bad Mad Marls has that covered.

Kat leaving, as mentioned, would let her focus on her well-known first love, fashion. We also assume that means she could focus on her girlfriend, Kitty Wilde of #KittyKat fame. Oh, sorry, we mean “friend”. Friends don’t invite friends to do the couple tag on YouTube, just saying. Obviously. After all, Kitty should have time with her fellow feline-named female once Rachel Berry goes on Broadway, a gig she has lined up right after the tour ends. We all know Rachel loves Broadway and majored in musical theater at UCLA, so will she choose to stay on stage? And, if she doesn’t, can her band really recover from a Broadway hiatus? I hate her.

Kitty, while “close friends” with Kat, has also openly called Rachel her best friend, as the two have known each other almost their entire lives. Kitty only pretends to be in the God Squad so she can convince people she has a soul. It seems rather interesting that Kitty would be so close to the two people who are rumored to be leaving. Is it something she did? Maybe she wants more time with Kat - or maybe she wants to start and empire of her own, and had to recruit Kat to help her start a fashion/make-up/social media fame platform. We’ve noticed how her follower number has grown exponentially since #KittyKat vlogs started, and we wouldn’t be surprised if all of that success went into her little blonde head. Kitty is just a knock off version of Quinn and knock offs always fall apart.

Regardless, we wish Rachel luck on Broadway (no), but not enough luck that she’ll actually get recognized for her work. If she does a good enough job she could get a Tony nomination, which will lead to more job offers, and that might just be the end of Divine Influence... Tony should keep his award and Rachel should keep being horrible somewhere I don’t have to see it anymore.

...Unless someone takes over for Rachel. Lead singers do have a history of being replaced - we’re looking at you, Van Halen, Fleetwood Mac, etc. - but could Divine Influence be doing the same thing? Blair Anderson speaking of, who even IS Blair?????, a back-up singer/dancer on the tour, also studied musical theater at UCLA, and she obviously knew Rachel. There’s even evidence of her being friends with the other members of the band. Sabrina Smythe, the manager of both bands on Pesephone’s Tour, has said their back-up singers have been working hard and well with the bands, She even made special note that Blair could have a solo during the encore which is a shame because Santana Lopez should totally get to sing, and it doesn’t take much searching to find out that Blair has made a demo herself. Is this tour going to be her audition to take over Rachel’s spot? And, more importantly, would we care about the band anymore if Rachel’s not a part of it? Hmm. We just don’t know. Wait... we care about the band right now??

What else we don’t know? Why are there back-up dancers in the first place? Jackie Williams made a smash in Divine Influence’s “Hey Beautiful Angel” music video, but was it enough that they really decided to add dancers to the tour? Back-up singers, sure, which Jackie also doing, but it’s oddly coincidental they managed to book her months afterwards, right? Sabrina announced the search for other back-up for the tour shortly after the video debuted, and Jackie was a part of the search team. Something about that seems rather off, don’t you think? Sad pandas unite for me not making it on the tour. I dance way better and am way hotter and have bigger boobs. So.

Speaking of Sabrina Smythe, have you ever wondered if there was another “S” that needed to slip into her name? Perhaps Sabrina Stripper Smythe? A blind item on twitter claims that some tour member has a stripper past, and wouldn’t that just fit the narrative of the Spoiled Smythe? After all, her best friend, Santana Lopez, is known for taking her clothes off, so we can’t help but wonder if she was influenced by her. She’s also the only member of her family to not have a law degree, and we could see a stripper past causing that problem. I’d pay to see that... just saying.

Another degree-less member? Sam Evans. As in, not even a college degree, or even an attempt at college, like Fiona. It’s rather sad, actually. We don’t know much about her past between Kentucky, dyslexia, and moving to LA. Is she hiding some dark past? THIS IS RUDE college is hard :( and Sam is pretty, pretty people don’t need to go to college. Maybe SHE was the stripper.

Eh. Seems unlikely with how innocent of a country bumpkin she is, but we’re keeping our eyes on her. When your past is full of so many blank spots, we can assume you’re hiding something

Then again, do we know anything about Quinn Fabray? Well, about her past? She was friends of some sort with Santana in college, as evidenced by Santana’s old picture of her with pink hair all the way back from their freshman year. Along with the pink hair, there are some now gone piercings and a punk vibe that we didn’t expect.

We also know that Quinn’s real name is “Lucy”, but why did she change it? Could that mean - NEVERMIND QUINN’S THE STRIPPER

And, lastly, let’s get into our beloved Puckerose, both of whom may not be hiding so much anymore...

Norah Puckerman and Marley Rose have been the fan favorite ship of the band since day one. Over time, the ship has grown from fan speculation to fans just knowing it’s true. All the posts about each other, the duets, the songs they’ve written together, and now they live together? Please! Even non-fringe fans are starting to assume they’re dating. I’d date them, too. I’d also date Norah’s new boyfriend, he’s hot.

Which is why we are very distressed to report images of our beloved Puckster with a man. The two seem to be enjoying time in New York City and are all smiles.

While we all just assume Norah’s bi and, yes, we would be okay with her dating guys, we gotta ask...um, what the fuck??

Norah has mentioned an affinity for older men in the past, but this old? Um...what? Originally we dismissed the photos, since there wasn’t much to them and she could’ve just ran into someone on the street who was trying to talk to her. She’s pleasant to strangers...well, sometimes.

But now the two have been spotted together a couple of times, and we think that could be a sign it’s a real thing. One brave TMZ-er got footage of the two of them at dinner before the man - her boyfriend? - asking her to leave them alone while Norah just sat there politely. Norah being a quiet, good girl?? He looks old, maybe she has a bigger daddy kink than Kitty does for Jesus?

We’re kinkshaming this relationship - am I using that term correctly? Whatever, this whole thing is weird!

Of course, maybe it’s in response to Marley’s obvious beard - oh, oops, “boyfriend” - Ryder Lynn. Marley must be good at shaving, she should shave her boyfriends head, too.

Totally cute and believable - if we pretended Puckerose wasn’t living together - right? Except...where the fuck is this guy? We never see him around. Maybe he’s a robot, they’re good at hiding.

And you’d particularly think he’d want to be around after the events of the day. The OG Sirens had a group interview today, and, as soon as it ended, Marley fainted. She was quickly revived and had plenty of water but was rushed away before any questions could be asked. Marley even declined to be on Fondue for Two which totally means she either hates cheese or isn’t eating at all...because we all know she’d love to come pet my pussy’s. Sabrina and Santana put out a message that Marley was simply dehydrated and tired from all the rehearsals, but, come on, we all know “dehydration” and “exhaustion” are code words for drugs - I bet Norah gave her drugs - and mental health issues. So, what’s Miss Rose hiding besides her relationship with her favorite guitarist? Or is the stress of headlining a major tour while her bestie for the restie, Kat, is planning on leaving too much for her?

Well...we’ll have to wait and see.

[ruvi-muffin]

i got tagged by @inchromprehensive​ I’m sorry this took so long aah!x’DD

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs that you would like to get to know better!

nicknames: Ruvi or Muffin or Cupcake

gender: questioning (but don’t worry you can call me whatever)

star sign: Libra

height: 161cm (5'3)

time: 22:13 (10:13 pm)

birthday: October 19th

favourite bands: 

I’m kind of more of a “individual song” type person but I like Oh Wonder a lot. I’m also musical trash so I’ll just casually jam to musicals lmao. I kinda like Bleachers.. The Chainsmokers… Imagine Dragons…. OH OHOHOHO oh OH I love Clipping! I like Mumford and Sons and Of Monsters and Men….. yeah just a lot. But if you ever meet me in person and wanna jam to Hamilton I’m GAME. (Please do Guns and Ships w me I love doing that one!:’D) I like the Neighbourhood too.

favorite solo artists: 

Oh just way too many! Tove Lo… Regina Spector is SO GREAT. Paramore….. omg MIKA, I’ll die for MIKA i love that guy!! LISTEN TO MIKA! I like Kesha’s latest album a lot. Jon Bellion… Icon for Hire…. Hozier… Gabrielle Aplin! Love her! I love Daughter… Oh! Amanda Palmer is AMAZING! I just listen to a lot.

song stuck in my head: 

I don’t have one really. I’m listening to No Roots by Alice Merton atm so idk. Lately tho it’s been Lover’s Eyes by Mumford and Sons, No Place in Heaven by MIKA, Gay Pirate by Cosmo Jarvis (It’s actually funny but like… super tragic… and catchy. I love it). And also My Manic and I by Laura Marling… which uh… not sure why I like that song so much.. But basically most of my songs from my Lams playlist because I haven’t been able to stop listening to it. Oh! Stay by Hurts just came on. Love that song too!X’DD

last movie: 

Urgh… I’m making my way through the Marvel movies that I haven’t seen yet and I’m currently trying to get through the second Thor movie and it’s just URGH SO BORING. No offence if anyone likes it I just really wanna get to watching Winter Soldier finally cause I haven’t seen it yet and I’m super invested in Cap’s story after watching Civil War.

last tv show watched: 

Hmm… I actually looked up some Drunk History earlier today so I’m pretty sure that counts as a TV show. And just now I watched this new history/entertainment show on female history in Sweden. There’s a pattern here. I will be watching Voltron when it comes out but I’m not rewatching it again. I’ve done it enough times to be pathetic at this point, let me live.XDDD

when did i create my blog:

omg nostalgia trip. May 2015. I’ve had several blogs before this one though. I joined just in time for the Mishapocalypse and i still hATE ALL OF YOU FOR THAT…

what do i post:

This was originally just an art and wip blog but now it’s just trash and me things (including wips and art).

last thing i googled:

Mishapocalypse cause how the heck do you spell that man’s name???

do i have other blogs:

(I didn’tknow you had an art blog, nice!:D) 

I have several… like… so many *deep sigh* I’m thinking of taking some of them down, it’s kind of pathetic at this point. Anyway here’s the list:

main: @ja-e-muffin-art-dump

art: @ruvigapo

voltron: @no-shame-muffin

not my art: @i-reblog-your-art

reading: @muffin-reads

i have a writing blog but i never write sooo…. nvm that.

i have a mental health blog too but i’m not comfortable sharing it.

do i get asks: 

naaaaaahhhh. once in a blue moon someone tells me my art is amazing and it makes me very very happy :333c (hah i get more people asking to repost my art tho nowadays, please stop).

why did i choose my url:

my original tumblr name was ja-e-muffin. i did some dumb shit let’s not talk about that. Ja e muffin is just…. it’s like I am Muffin but like silly??? If i spelled it right it would be Jag är Muffin, but the g is silent and ä sounds like e if you have an accent or you’re being ridiculous and the r is silent so… Jag är becomes Ja e. *shrugs* Yay Swedish lesson with the muffin, I’m here all week.

following blogs: 675

followers: 

It’s been around 200 the last few days. But people leave and new ones come around all the time so I don’t really keep track. Just thought it was cool that I’m at 200 at all u kno.

favourite colours: 

I like a lot of colours depening on my mood. I fit really well in reds yellows and pinks but I also really like blue hues. It really depends on my mood.

average hours of sleep: 

hhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

honestly like i don’t even know. It’s like I either sleep a full 12 hours or I don’t sleep at all. Or I sleep for like six hours and wake up every two hours and just overall sleep really poorly. My sleep schedule is whack.

lucky number(s):

those apparently. i mean it’s bs but w e. 

I always really liked the number 9. I have a complicated relationship with 4 and 7. 1, 3 and 5 reconate with me but don’t feel comfortable.

Make of that what you will. Do some witchcraft or smth. Tell me my future.

instruments:

I played piano, violin and flute growing up. On and off I’ve played guitar, drumms and bass. I really really miss it. I especially enjoy piano and flute.

what i am wearing: 

Blue Harem pants and a pale pink pyjama shirt covered in blue paint that i’ve had since i was a kid.

how many blankets do i sleep with: one currently.

dream job:

Tbh i just want to be able to work again at all. I’m kinda stuck in an unhealthy loop of being triggered while at work, feeling ashamed, not going to work, breaking down, taking sick leave, work again, repeat.

I want to do something worthwile. I want to make a difference.

dream trip:

I want to backpack everywhere with my friends. And I want to study and help people overseas. 

favourite food:

I like most things but I really enjoy spicy food. You have not known true bliss until you’ve had breakfast in India. To specify, the family we lived with were quite wealthy. We ate trays of different fruits every day and I honestly want nothing else for the rest of my life. Bless out poor Swedish hearts, we can barely get a hold of fresh fruit. Help us.

nationality: Swedish

favourite song right now:  I love Sufjan Stevens. His music is super soft. 10/10

I don’t really want to tag anyone tbh. I’m kinda tired. It’s past midnight already. Help me.

[were-cheetah-stiles]

The Recruit (Chapter 13) - Mitch Rapp

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “Day 75, Part I”

Characters: Mitch Rapp, Stan Hurley, Rob Russells, Julian Casablancas, Peter Collins  & Reader/OFC

Warnings: Slow burn, some touchin’, some dirty talking, fluff, kissing, cursing, i assumeeeee..

A.N.: I’ve written three chapters of Mitch and Y/N on their first day in New York, while on break, so far and they are literally my favorite things in the world. I hope you enjoy them too.

Summary: The recruits get released for a weeklong Spring break. Mitch and Y/n go to New York.

Chapter Twelve - Chapter Thirteen - Chapter Fourteen

"Alright, Y/n, what do you have?" Stan asked, standing in the front of their classroom. You had done this three years in a row now and already knew that your cover story worked. "I am going to go up to Manhattan to see my friends from Columbia and just like the past two years, my cover is that I work for the State Department and work overseas a lot and that's why I am never all that accessible and cannot talk about my work in detail."

"And as always, that works for me.. Enjoy your break." Stan said, as you sat down and folded your arms, waiting for the next person to share their cover story. "Remember, the cover story needs to be good enough that it could be real but won't elicit too many unanswerable questions from even your nosiest family member. It's for your protection, their protection and the protection of the Agency... Who's next? Julian?"

Julian stood. "I am also going up to Westchester in New York to see my parents, and they think I am coming back from a Syrian relief mission to see them for five days... Then I leave to go back."

"Have you been to Syria?" Stan asked.

"No, sir."

"Then how are you going to answer questions that they have about what you've seen over there?" Stan pushed, trying to find the ways in which Julian's cover could be blown.

"I was going to read the New York Times on the train up, sir. My parents aren't naturally inquisitive people. If I embellish what I've read in the papers, that will be enough to upset my mother and force my father to drop the subject altogether. Plus, now that I can speak some Arabic, I think they'll be convinced."

"And if they want to see pictures?"

"I'm not over their to take pictures, sir. They can google what Aleppo looks like these days themselves." Julian spoke dryly and mouthed off all the time. Stan wasn't fond of him, but you always thought he was funny. You chuckled in your seat as Julian answered all of Stan's questions in a monotone voice

Stan shook his head. "Fine, you can go. Sit down." He scanned the room. "Clemens."

"I am going home to Wisconsin to see my family. I was an attorney in Madison before I came here, so I'll tell them that I have been trying to pass the Bar here in Virginia so that I can become a Supreme Court lawyer. They'd understand why I haven't spoken to them if I was studying."

"You'd have a better chance of me letting you go to Mexico and hire prostitutes than you going home with that shit excuse for a cover story. Sit down. Think of something better and you can leave, but until then: no Wisconsin for you." Clemens raised his hands in the air in front of him, gesturing like he didn't know what was wrong with that story. Stan pointed to Rob, and Clemens sat back down. Rob explained how he wasn't leaving town because his parents were on vacation so he was planning on trolling D.C. bars for girls. Stan reminded him that he still needed a cover story, and made Rob sit down. "Mitch."

Mitch stood, folding his arms in front of him. You tried to hide your excitement over the way that his hands, when folded under, made his biceps look even bigger. You blinked a few times, unable to keep the grin off of your face, and quietly put your head in your arms on the table in front of you. "You good, Y/n?" Julian leaned over and whispered.

"Mhmm. Just tired." You mumbled without raising your head.

"I'm going up to see my brother and he thinks that I have been traveling for the past year and a half, but before I actually did that, I got a job at the State Department, so I was going to use that as my cover too."

"Alright, very good. You can go." Stan said, then moved on to the last two trainees. Mitch sat back down and looked at you, head still buried in your arms, and chuckled to himself. "The shuttle leaves in a half hour and it will bring you to downtown D.C. You can get to the train station or airports or car rental places from there, and we'll see you back here in a week. For those of you who did not get permission, I leave tonight, I will drive you downtown if you can come up with a better cover before 1900 hours. You're dismissed."

Everyone began to disperse, and Mitch watched as Stan walked up to you and Julian.

"Have a good break, Julian. Y/n can I have a word?"

You nodded and stopped. "What's up?"

"Are you sure that you don't want to come down with us? I know Meredith and the boys would love to see you."

"Yea, I haven't seen my friends in so long, I just wanted to hang out."

"Are you going to see Beth when you're up there?" Stan asked about his daughter.

"Oh, Beth isn't going to be in North Carolina with you guys?" You lied. You knew Beth was going to be in New York because you were introducing Beth to Mitch this weekend.

"She was supposed to but couldn't get out of work.... if I can't convince you to come to the Outer Banks, can I at least convince you to take your car up? You don't have to take the train."

"I wanna take the train, Stan. It's fine." You told him, not divulging that you wanted to take the train because Mitch was taking the train.

"Alright, kiddo. I'll see you in a week then."

"Say hi to Aunt Mere and everyone else for me." You smiled.

You spotted Mitch, Julian and a few other trainees in the large ticket window area of D.C.'s Union Station. You looked up at the board and saw that the Amtrak train to New York City's Penn Station was finally boarding. You picked up your bag, throwing it over your shoulder, and handed the ticket agent your boarding pass. You glanced to a parallel boarding line and saw Mitch. You bashfully smiled and took your ticket back. You sat down in a two-seater against the window and placed your bag on the seat next to you.

"I love that you pick the one that doesn't have any seats behind it."

You looked up and grinned. "I like to know what's going on around me. It's not like I can just take the spy hat off.." You fake whispered and then watched as Mitch stuffed both of your bags in the overhead compartments, his shirt and jacket lifting just enough to tease you with his abs and happy trail. Just enough to turn you on. You bit your lip and ran your hand up your leg as Mitch sat back down. He saw the desire in your eyes.

"Oh... someone's in a mood." Mitch said with a grin as he rested his left hand on your knee.

"I'm just excited to be with you and you look so good, and I.." You couldn't even finish your sentence without attacking him with a kiss. You pressed your body against his, feeling his hand run up your leg and just under the hem of your short navy blue leather skirt. You felt his right hand hook it's fingers into your hair as he pulled you harder against his lips. His tongue pushed in between your lips as you slipped your fingers through the neck of his button-embellished gray thermal shirt and dug your fingers into his shoulder. Mitch stopped to catch his breath, and pressed his forehead against yours.

"Oh god." He whispered between huffs. "Don't bite your lip at me like that. This outfit is killing me enough as is." Mitch grinned and shook his head at you. You were wearing a short and tight navy blue leather skirt, a loose and semi-sheer marled gray t-shirt, gray knee-high socks, black booties and a black lace bra that you could see through your shirt; your favorite bomber jacket was hanging on a hook next to the window.

You grinned from ear to ear as you rubbed his thigh over his khaki pants, purposefully trying to still turn him on. "But I'm just so excited about our week away. I want to get started now." You pouted and fake whined.

"Y/n, trust me, if it wasn't the middle of the morning and this train wasn't packed with people, you'd be in my lap with your tight little pussy riding my cock right now."

"Promise?" You bit your lip since you couldn't be biting his.

"Promise." Mitch pulled you in for a peck on the cheeks and then leaned back into his seat, closing his eyes and holding your hand in your lap so that you couldn't rub up on him anymore. He needed to calm down or else he probably would find a way to fuck you right then.

"Shit..."

Mitch opened his eyes and felt you yank your hand out of his. "What?" He looked at you and you were staring out the window.

"Of all the cars on this train, he had to get on this one? Are you kidding?" You whispered, while pointing in the direction of the aisle in the middle of the car, but not looking away from the window. Mitch saw Julian placing his bag in the compartment above his seat. Mitch nodded at Julian and Julian nodded back, then sat down on the opposite end of the train car.

"All aboard. The 9:13AM train from Union Station, District of Columbia to Montreal, Quebec, making stops in Baltimore, Dover, Philadelphia, Trenton, New York City, Albany, Buffalo, and finally Montreal. We will be departing the station in approximately three minutes. All aboard. Conductors, please check your signals." The announcement broke over the speakers.

"Is it weird that we're sitting together or do you think he saw anything?" You asked, worry spreading across your face.

Mitch shook his head. "I think it's fine... and Julian is your friend, right?"

"I mean, yea, but you never know what people will do."

"It'll be fine." Mitch gave you a quick smile. Then stood back up. "You want your book?"

You shook your head. "I'm going to catch up with the news on my phone." You watched as Mitch reached back up into the compartment, his shirt lifting again, and dropped Alexandre Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo on the seat, the latest book that you had given him to read. "You are seriously going to have to sit down. I'm gonna maul you, and now I really can't since Julian is sitting right over there." Mitch grinned, closed the compartment and took off his jacket. "Oh, seriously?! You're doing this on purpose." You huffed and sat back in your seat, feeling the train jolt forward as it started on its journey.

Mitch tried to rest his coat on top of your silky bomber, but both ended up falling off the hook and onto the floor with a thud. "Sorry, babe. Do you want your phone?" Mitch asked as he bent over and picked up your jackets.

"Yes please." You said as you watched him hang his coat on the hook first.

He fished in your pockets and pulled out your phone and keys. "Why do you have so many keys?" Mitch asked, confusion spreading on his face as he saw you take them out of his hand. He hung your jacket on top of his and sat back down next to you.

"Well, this is to the garage." You began flipping through the keys, about a dozen in total. "These are the keys to Stan's office and then the master key to all of the buildings at The Barn. This is to Beth's house, and this is to the Hurley's house in Virginia, where I lived. This is the key to my safety deposit box and my P.O. Box. This is the key to my Dad's hangar, and this is the one to the safe that holds all the car keys, and this is the one for the LES apartment." You tucked the keys back into your pocket after listing them off.

"What?"

You laughed. "What can I say? I'm welcome a lot of places."

"Your Dad's hangar and what Lower East Side apartment?" Mitch looked confused.

You inhaled and then looked at Mitch. "So you saw the BMW the other night. It was my Dad's. He collected vintage cars and cars he thought were cool. I inherited all of them, and Stan picked out the BMW from the lot and gave it to me when I got my driver's license in high school, and it's just the one I use the most often. I was actually thinking that if you and Steven wanted, I would bring you to the hangar tomorrow, let you see the cars... maybe take one of them out and we could drive it the rest of the week?"

Mitch smirked. "Steve would lose his shit if you did that." You smiled and nodded. "What’s the apartment though?"

You pursed your lips and pulled at your socks. Mitch took your hand in his when he saw you fidgeting. You smiled up at him again. "I still own the apartment that I grew up in."

"Really?"

You nodded. "It's this big two story penthouse in this tall, old building downtown and my Mom grew up there, and when her Dad died, she got the deed, and when my Mom died, I got the deed.... I literally haven't been there in years though. It's fully furnished and everything, I just can't bring myself to sell it."

Mitch half frowned. "Did you live there in college?"

"No, I rented a place in South Harlem, closer to campus. The only people who have been there since I was in high school are the cleaning crew that I hired to come in once a month and dust and kill the spiders, whatever."

"Do you ever plan on moving in there?"

"Maybe one day. It's a beautiful building and a nice area. We can drive by it if you want."

Mitch shrugged, not wanting to make you do anything you were uncomfortable with. "It's up to you... What do you want to do while we're up here?"

A smile spread back across your face, and you let out an excited moan. "Ugh, everything. Well, I want to hang out with Steven, I want to see 1984 on Broadway, I wouldn’t mind taking a drive out to either the Hudson Valley or Long Island, and I promised I'd hang out with one of my girlfriends from college, so you can spend the day with Steven that day. I want pizza from John's on Bleeker, oh my god, just like a donut from Dunkin Donuts, meatballs from The Meatball Shop, cake from Herb in Chelsea, vietnamese food from Jimmy's downtown, Shake Shack... oh my god, I read that there is a Shake Shack in Penn Station now, if we could make that our first stop, I'd love you forever." You didn't even realize what you said as you rambled on about all that you wanted to do while you were home.

Mitch smiled, but didn't say anything. He wanted to kiss you but could feel Julian watching from a distance. "So basically, you want to eat?"

You pressed your lips together tightly, furrowed your brow and nodded. "I am so sick of the food at The Barn."

Mitch laughed and went to kiss you, but stopped half way through, realizing what he was doing. Instead, he leaned past you and pulled the curtain closed. He hoped that was subtle enough, and that Julian hadn't caught his near slip. He licked his lips and leaned back in the seat, reclining the chair back. "We can definitely do all of that."

"I also would like to have a lot of sex." You looked at him seriously.

"Steve's going to love that." Mitch laughed.

"Yea, we may have to get a hotel room.." You said, as you reached for your phone and began scrolling through The Associated Press' news app.

The next chapter is literally one of my favorite chapters I will ever write. Day 75 is the literal best. Also, now I’m hungry. :(

@chivesoup @confidentrose @alexhmak @dontstopxx @iloveteenwolf24 @surpeme-bean @snek-shit @kalista-rankins @parislight @cleverassbutt @damndaphneoh @mgpizza2001 @chionophilic-nefelibata @ninja-stiles @sarcasticallystilinski @teenage-dirtbagbaby @mrs-mitch-rapp93 @alizaobrien @twsmuts @rrrennerrr @sorrynotsorrylovesome @lovelydob @iknowisoundcrazy @5secsxofamnesia @vogue-sweetie @dylrider @ivette29 @therealmrshale @twentyone-souls @sunshineystilinski @snicketyssnake @xsnak-3x @eccentricxem @inkedaztec @awkwarddly @lightbreaksthrough @maddie110201 @hattyohatt @amethystmerm4id @completebandgeek

[marauder--harder]

Hello? Headcannon requests? You painting a galaxy *cough* hickies *cough* on Remus' neck and him trying, and failing, to survive the day with it? Smutty and fluffy in you can 😏🖤

it would totally start during second period, which was potions 

Remus would be working away with Sirius on a particular brew which caused his hair to dampen slightly, curling more than usual

and he’d long forgone his jacket, now rolling up his sleeves and cuffing them off to expose his incredible forearms

and the way he looked so concentrated, as he told Sirius what to hand him for the potion made your head go fuzzy

after class you pulled him into the nearest broom closet (not one of your most accomplished moments) and nearly attacked him

he was shocked at first, but quickly responded, pulling you closer and chuckling as you quickly made move across his jaw and down his neck

“Easy there, love. Not that I’m complaining, but what’s with the sudden wanting to jump me?”

you simply groaned and pushed him against the door, starting to unbutton his shirt

“Have you no idea how fucking hot you looked in there?” you whispered against the shell of his ear, 

Remus’ brows raised and smirked as he shivered against you

“No, please do tell me, darling.”

you slowly trailed down his neck, leaving warm, open mouthed kisses along the way, telling him exactly every detail that you enjoyed in potions and how it made you feel

soon enough, Remus’ erection was pressing firmly against your stomach, his grip on your waist tight as you sucked along his pulse point

eventually Remus began moaning softly, reaching his hand under your skirt, pushing your already soaked panties aside and inserting two fingers slowly

“You’re sopping, love.” Remus breathed, as you continued to nip and suck along his neck, driving him absolutely insane

pulling him out of his own trousers, the two of you tried frantically to get each other off, wanting to waste no time 

after the two of you came with each other’s names falling from your lips, you both stood there, trying to catch your breath 

“Guess I have to brew potions for NEWTs more often then.” Remus chuckled, his forehead leaning against yours

only hours later, when both of you left the closet to resume your daily activities, did you notice the deep purple marks that were showing on Remus’ neck

apparently so did everyone else, although Marlene was the first to notice among your friends

“Hey Remus,” she started, a slow smile growing on her face, “have you seen Y/N around anywhere?”

Remus furrowed his brows in slight confusion, grabbing a roll off the table in the Great Hall

“She said she had to talk to Slughorn about the paper due on Friday, so I’m sure she’d be here soon.”

Marlene grinned further, “oh, was she not paying attention in class? Because he explained everything in class today. Maybe she was distracted.”

Remus did not know how she figured it out, but he was sure that he was going to kill Marlene

this line of question seemed to pique the interest of the rest of his friends, and with Remus’ rising blush, they knew that she was up to something

“Are we missing anything, my dearest Marls?” Sirius asked.

she simply laughed and pointed to Remus, who was suddenly very interested in his roll 

“I don’t know, let’s ask Mr. Lover Boy over here. Are we missing anything Remus?”

Remus tried desperately to seem nonchalant in his adjusting of his collar, he really did

but with 5 people staring at him, he couldn’t help but be noticed

“Ohh, Remus got some loving today!!” James called, as Sirius barked out a laugh and Peter whistled lowly

“Sod off, guys” he mumbled, trying to hide in his jumper 

Suddenly, as if it could get any worse, you strolled up to the table and sat yourself right next to your boyfriend

“Y/N, if it isn’t our favorite little blood sucker!” 

your head whipped over to Lily, glaring for a few moments before grinning and turning to Remus

“Hey, love,” you started, leaning in closer to him, and you saw his jaw clench in response, “do you think they may want a show?” 

you slowly, and dramatically leaned in to kiss Remus’ jaw softly before hearing the groans of all of your friends

“Okay, we give!!” 

laughing you pulled away and patted Remus’ arm comfortingly

“Sorry, Rem”

Midnight Mischief with Kay!!

[diamonddeposits]

BEST TRACKS OF 2017-ARTISTS LIST #11

JARED SALTIEL

Multi-instrumentalist and singer-songwriter Jared Saltiel offers up striking tunes that are reminiscent of deliciously detailed short fiction. In February of 2018 he will be using his latest LP titled Out Of Clay, a concept album that serves as a travel guide to an imaginary landscape with colourful characters that is a follow up to 2014′s The Light Within. His list is  mix of both contemporary folk and billboard pop. Enjoy!

01. Bedouine - Solitary Daughter

This is probably my favorite record of the year. I'm a huge fan of Spacebomb Records, based in Richmond. I think what Spacebomb has figured out is that "timelessness" is not just about a retro aesthetic, it's about the quality of the songwriting, arranging and production. I'm not sure if this is my favorite song on the album, but it's the one that woke me from the cozy slumber of the album's chill aesthetic and made me realize I was listening to a truly great singer-songwriter.

02. Seasonal Beast - Dry Bones

Disclaimer: these are my friends. Yuval, the lead songwriter, plays keyboard in my band. But Seasonal Beast is easily my favorite rock band in NYC. "Dry Bones" isn't representative of their layered, spacey pop-rock sound, but I think it's the best song on the record. I'm a strings guy, and I absolutely love this arrangement, especially in the way it's seamlessly blended with the droning synths and textures. And then there's the song itself, which is just a perfect composition, in that sad, beautiful, autumnal sort of way.

03. Kendrick Lamar - FEEL.

This album came out at the perfect time, soon after the election, when a cloud of clinical depression was settling over (half of) the country. I love that this song is called "FEEL." Kendrick probably knows that a lot of people are, in fact, praying for him, but he's such an expert at channeling his emotional realities and making them compelling, so the song title comes across like a deliberate gesture to recognize that feelings are not facts, but they matter more. I love the clave cross-stick pattern in the beat, it's like equal parts hip-hop and bossa nova.

04. Ryuichi Sakamoto - andata

I discovered Ryuichi Sakamoto some time late last year, and he immediately entered my top ten. His film scores have a melancholic quality which completely overwhelms me, yet the music is totally accessible. And then he has a whole discography of experimental electronic music, which I've been slowly working my way through. This song "andata" seems to come from both worlds: it's a beautiful, straightforward theme that could easily have been written by Ennio Morricone in 1968, which is then layered with electronic textures. Interestingly, the real emotional weight comes from the electronic elements more than than the central piano theme.

05. Sondre Lerche - I'm Always Watching You

Pleasure is easily my favorite Sondre Lerche album. It has the same super-creative production approach as Please, but I think the songwriting is stronger. I love how the record employs an 80s sound a la Pet Shop Boys, but colors the party vibe with deeply sad and personal lyrics. The whole album feels extremely unstable, like the hedonism and self-discovery could slip out of control at any moment and land in despair. This song does the album's thing so well - it's a fun single, catchy and upbeat, but when you listen to the lyrics you pick up on the emotional vulnerability and comically disturbing subject matter.

06. Katy Perry - Chained to the Rhythm

Look, except for maybe "Teenage Dream" I never voluntarily listened to any Katy Perry song until this one. The song is completely ridiculous, and has a number of objectively terrible lyrics. But there's something about the second chord in the progression (the minor ii chord) that I'm absolutely obsessed with. That chord change brings me so much joy that I'm willing to listen to Katy riff ludicrously on the line "Like a wasted zombie!"

07. Thundercat - Tokyo

Drunk is such an insane album, it's hard to pick a favorite song. I think "Tokyo" is my favorite, if just because it's such a perfect example of Thundercat's particular aesthetic of Futuristic Funk By A Total Nerd Who's Also Legitimately Cool. Love the impassive delivery of the ridiculous lyrics, the keyboards that seem to deliberately channel video game music, the way he harmonizes the bass line. I saw him live in Brooklyn, and when he played this song he made it clear that all of the lyrics are completely factual, including the part about trying to get a girl pregnant.

08. Laura Marling - Nouel

The new Laura Marling album has super cool Blake Mills production, which I really enjoy. But she's always been one of those rare singer-songwriters who can actually sit down and perform a song perfectly in one take. I'm so glad this song was recorded that way, because it captures the 60s/70s color which has always been central to her appeal. Apparently this song is about how her friend Nouel serves as a sort of platonic muse. As somebody with a lot of songs about complicated muse dynamics, I really appreciate Laura Marling taking on that theme with a fresh perspective, as a straight woman writing about an inspiring woman.

09. Eric Slick - You Are Not Your Mind

This is one of those rare instances where the press angle about an album has actually given me some deep insight into the songwriting. Apparently Eric Slick wrote this album after working through a deep depression with meditation and Jungian therapy. As somebody who practices Jungian therapy and is six months into meditating, I'm naturally a fan of this album. But I find this song particularly touching, especially when he delivers the line "And all the pain, it isn't real."

10. John Mayer - Roll It On Home

I've always had a love-hate fascination with Mayer, but I appreciate that throughout his various hubristic downfalls, he's always been grounded by the humbling task of grabbing a guitar and trying to write a decent song. Production-wise, this might be the kitschiest track on a kitschy record, but I honestly love his nerdy affinity for the country form. The genre exercise seems to liberate him to write cleverer lyrics. My favorite line in this song: "The last ten texts were with your ex, and all of them were sent by you." All the more hilarious when you realize he's talking about Katy Perry (her again...).

11. Esperanza Spalding - the entirety of the EXPOSURE livestream

When Esperanza Spalding said she was going to record an album in 77 hours on Facebook live, I was slightly intrigued, but couldn't possibly begin to imagine how jaw-droppingly awesome it would be. Like many others, I became completely obsessed and had it playing in the background in my apartment for hours on end. The most striking thing was how calm and collected she was, despite having her entire creative process broadcast to thousands and thousands of people. I don't know what any of the songs are called but they were all incredibly inspiring, intricate creations and it was such a treat to see a master at work. Can't wait to hear the finished record.