#maria pendeja

[murcielagatito]

funniest shit to me is gloria trying to mind her business and do her time yet somehow finds herself in constant beef with bitches

[valscodblog]

ℙ𝕀𝕊𝕋𝕆𝕃𝔸 -Part two

Warnings: Mentions of death (obvi-it's call of duty y'all.), in-depth past explanation, OC being forced to take up a role she never wanted, very very very VERY slight mentions of sexual themes (like-one or two sentences), trust issues at it's finest, and that's around it.

Alejandro Vargas x OC

Credits to OC: ME MYSELF AND IIIIIII~~ (Uhm-anyways-)

[{TAGS! <3 : @seconds-over-first @thebunnednun @writing-with-moss }]

Alejandro felt like he had been shot through the heart. "I-What have I ever done to you, to make you reluctant to trust me, Linda?" Maria shook her head, "It's-It's not you, Alejandro...it's just-personal." Alejandro nodded. "I understand. Yo Entiendo." Maria gave him a soft smile-she smiled!-and then walked away. Alejandro nearly died right then. Rodolfo smirked at put a hand on Alejandro's shoulder. " Su maldito desesperado, coronel," Rudy joked, and his higher-up sighed. "Yo se, Rudy...Pero...." "Pero Nada, Amigo. You love her. That's it." "Not so loud, Pendejo!" "We're mexican! We're loud!" "Parra!" "Okay, okay! Don't kill me, Alejandro!" "Mhhh, i should...I really should. But-alas, I can't."

"Say-Pistola, why do they call ye tha', aye?" "Because." "It means Poistol, doon'it?" Soap asked, "So that means-ye must be handy wit one!" Maria groaned and rubbed her face. "If i say yes, will you shut up?" "Nay, prolly not, bonnie." "Don't call me bonnie-" "Bonnie, bon-bon, bonnibell, bonnie-boo," Soap teased, and Maria looked over to Alejandro and mouthed, "Im going to kill you, Pendejo." He just laughed. Maria looked back over to Ghost and Soap-who were...flirting? Talking? How could you tell, honestly? "...Are you two...Novios?" "Huh?" Ghost said, quirking a brow up, "I asked if you two are dating, Fantasma." Ghost shook his head. "No-why would we be?" He snorted, and Soap laughed. "Okay...Although, I hope you two know, that I will be teasing you now." "Aboot...?" "Dating. Because y'all act like a married couple."

"Hey-quick question-why'd'ye sound like yer from Texas or sum?" Ghost asked, and Maria gave him a deadpan stare. "...The border? I live on the fuckin' Boarder?" Maria said, quirking a brow of her own up. Ghost then put his brow back down and then raised both of them this time, "Ah..." what was he supposed to say after a lady just told you that and clearly wasn't liking you? "So-You grew up knowing how to fight, Alejandro says." "Yeah. I did..." Ghost sighed.

"Well-" "If your trying to flirt with me, i suggest you learn a few new pick up lines other than whatever the fuck your on, Ghost." Simon blinked. "Love, i assure you, I'm not takin' a shinin' t'ya." "Good. Because I'm not on the market." "Oh?" Well, she's interesting...Simon sorta was starting to like her. "So..." "So?" "...What's anotha way to say "I came inside of a woman," Pistola?" "...What?" "Loadin' tha dishwasha." And Pistola nearly laughed, but she caught herself and just choose to quirk a brow up and shut her eyes. "Funny." and Ghost smiled behind his mask-but not a nice one, oh no. An annoyed one.

"Hmm, your not laughin' though?" "Yeah-lost my ability to year ago." "Ooh...damn, thats gotta suck f'ya, Lovie." "Oh yeah, it does."

And Alejandro looked over to Maria and frowned. "Here we go..." he muttered to Rudy. Rudy shook his head before saying, "She's not a litle kid, Amigo. She can flirt if she wants-" "Not with that gringo!" "Alejandro!" "....Mhhhph, I just don't like how she won't even look at me half the time i talk to her-but this, this guy! He just shows up and it's all 'Ohh let me stare at him-let me make eye contact!' Like, Pendeja! Por favor, why do you treat him like an old friend, huh?"

and Rudy leaned into Alejandro, arm on shoulder, and said, "Jelous, Ale?" "No-why?" "...Pinche mentiroso..." "No soy!" "Si tu eres! You ranting like-" "Dont." "Si, senor..." Alejandro went back to looking at Maria, whom was still talking to ghost and Soap. He hummed again before saying, "Alright, maybe i am...just a little. Un Puco." Rudy grinned. "First step's admitting it, Alejandro." "Yo se..."

"Right-so...what do I say, Alejandro?" Maria mumbled, more to herself than anything, really. BUt the man caught it and said, "You introduce yourself, tell them your New rank, Maria, and tell them you'll be leading this squad. Okay, mi amor?" "Not your love." And Alejandro sighed softly. "You know how i mean it, Maria...right?" "Claro que si. I just-don't. Just don't, okay?" "Claro, Maria." "Grasias, Ale-" "Maria! Here you are, thought we lost ya!" "Juan Price." "Erm-it's John." "Oh, so sorry, I'm Mexican, Sir." "It's fine, it's fine." "John Price! Ey, one capitan, to another, this is the easy part." "True..."

Alejandro quirked a brow up. "You two, know each other?" "We've met, yes. Back in, what was it?" "Ahh, good ol' Brittan-the country side, right?" "Indeed," Price agreed, smiling. "By the way! How's it coming along for you?" Maria asked, Price sighed and shook his head. "Hassan's still causing problems, so what does that tell you?" "Horrid." "Worse than." "Oof, i feel for you, John." "So, when-"

"Maria, it's time," Alejandro said into her ear and she said, "Fine fine...Sorry John we'll have to catch up later. I have to meet new squad." "Steaming Jesus-right before a mission?" "It's my family curse-we're alwasy last minuet and the people around us are affected too." "Well-i'll let you go before i get affected, huh?" "Hmph, yeah, see you, Price." and Maria walked away. Alejandro stayed behind and said, "That scoff? That's her laugh...consider yourself a trusted allay to Los Vaqueros now, Price." and he clapped John on the shoulder, shook it, and then let go and jogged to catch up to Maria.

Rodolfo was there, already telling the squad a new Captain was to command them and the rest of Maria's new squad just tensed. A new Captain? Oh, Jesus, that was never good...the last one was dead, sure, but this new one? They would have to learn how to read and how to act around this new person.

Or so they thought. It was just Maria.

"Oh! The Corp finally moved up, huh?" Private Diaz asked, and Maria sighed, "Here we go..."

"WHy now, out of all times?"

"HOW DID SHE GET TO MAKE THAT BIG OF A MOVE?"

"Wow...she really just left us in the dust, sucking off Alejandro must help a fair ton."

"For real. Prolly added in a few extra rounds to ensure her new place too."

Alejandro quirked a brow up and was about to say something when Maria shouted, "IF YOU LOVE YOUR MOM'S, SHUT IT!" and everyone shut up-minus one rookie who thought she was joking around.

BANG!

"Any? Body? Else?" Maria asked, her single hand still holding her pistol sideways. The person who spoke had been shot in the leg. "No? Good...now, rule one, i ever hear you talking behind my back again, you'll end up worse than that boy there, okay? Bueno. Dos, listen to rule one." Everyone nodded.

"Maria-that wasn't legal." "And what are you going to say, huh? Nada because if you report me, you'll be asked why you didn't step in." and Rudy shut up. "Damn-she's better than I thought at this," Alejandro said, smiling proudly.

"Well...let's get this mission over with and the lines drawn, yeah?" Maria muttered, Alejandro nodded...but as he started to explain, Maria started to zone out, she didn't feel safe, and this is how she dealt with that feeling.

"Ma? ...Mama? M-...MAMA?" Maria shouted, running into her mother's room as she heard what sounded like fighting. "Mami-mami!" her little brother screamed-in pain. "Eres igual que tu papá, chico..."

"MAMA-ALTO! Whatever he did-"

"No hablo ingles a Me, nina..."

Maria just stared at her mother-not hearing anything but the high pitched ringing in her ears. She had to run-hide. After she was done with her brother-she was next. and in for worse. Maria did run-into the room. She grabbed her four year old brother and then, as fast as her legs could carry the both of them, she ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs. She ran to the front door, and tried to open it-locked. She unlocked it but her brother wouldn't stop fighting her movements. "You'll just make it worse, Hermana! Stop-please!" "Shhh, dont speak English, Nino! Why do you think your being beat!?" and her brother shut up and chose just to sob into her shoulder. "Poor thing...if only Dad-"

"Tu padre ya no está aquí, no estará por mucho tiempo… Ya tendré tiempo…Es hora de pensar en una mentira… Es hora de hacer que parezca un accidente..."

No-Nononono-She heard the trigger of a gun and then she heard the recoil. It didn't hit her, however. "...Alex?" "Ma...Ri...A..." was his last word and Maria snapped. Thirteen, and she snapped. She dropped her little brother and charged at the drunken woman. Her mother was skinny-she wasn't. She had been working out for the last three years in secret. She threw a punch to her mother and her mom took it harshly. She toppled over, dropping the gun. It would've been funny to Maria if she wasn't so far gone in the moment. Maria then picked up the gun and said, "I'll talk how i want-and just so you know, Dad will know...and then he'll see to it that you get what you deserve..."

"Live, Pendeja...Live knowing I only let you becuase your husband and the god you so claim to love will punish you. They'll punish you so harshly-so badly...that you wish that i killed you-that one day, when we meet again, you will Beg Me to kill you...understand me? And know, that I no longer am a fucking Rodriguez, but instead, a Sanchez-como me Papa!" Maria said, sounding ever so calmly. She then laid the gun down on her mother's chest, and left the house.

She never went back. She found her uncle, and asked to stay with him instead, and her uncle, the evil bastard said yes. So she lived with him and was trained by him for War.

"Maria-MARIA SANCHEZ! Are you listening to a word that Alejandro just said to you?" Maria blinked and muttered, "Que?" Rodolfo sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Alejandro-get your damn girlfriend." Alejandro, who had been talking to one of the rookies, looked over and said, "No eres mi novia, Rudy...solo una amiga importante." And Maria groaned, "Shut it, Alejandro."

Maria walked away and muttered, "I have to stop zoning out..." Alejandro jogged after her-again. "Alejandro-" "I know what your going to say, so just don't! Instead, Escuchame!" Maria nodded, but kept walking. "So...Maria...do you, uhhm..Wanna go get something to eat after this?" Maria stopped dead. "You asking me out, Alejandro?" Alejandro sighed, "Not like-romanticly or anything! Just-you know, a couple of friends going out to eat." Maria laughed softly and said, "You know, I don't trust that...just us two-and i've never seen you outside of work...i don't know you-and you don't know me, Ale."

"I know-pero-i wanna take you out, okay? Tu eres muy linda, bonita, ermosa, and not to seem like im kissing your ass or anything but-" "Vargas. Your already kissing my ass." "Oh, shhh! Let a man talk to you for once, Maria!" Maria laughed again before nodding. "Sure, Vargas. Talk." "Grasias! Dios mio...okay, where was I?" "Oh so this was rehersed?" "In the mirror to myself." "Alejandro Vargas!" "What? Im telling you the truth!"

"Oh my god, fine! I'll go out with you-but no where cheap! Make an impression if you want this chica to stay around. Dont ask or tell me where, just take me. Okay?" and she winked.

Alejandro felt like he had been shot through the heart again-but this time...by cupid's bow.

[bravenew-what]

My Life For One More Day

Pairing: Andi Deris x OC

Warnings: none

—

Marie huffed and sat herself down on the front stairs of her family home, wincing at the thought of leaving her mother to deal with her upset grandson alone. When Marie had tried to put Isaac to bed that night, he couldn’t bear to have her leave his side. Between his screams and cries for her and her mother shrugging it off and handling it herself, Marie felt as if she had failed that day. Work was going to be nothing but a headache.

She trudged along the well worn path to the La Selva, the resort bar that she worked in the evenings to support herself, her mother, and Isaac. The mile walk was peaceful and always easy for her to complete, but tonight, she felt like curling up on one of the benches and putting her head down.

As she got to work, she tossed her purse down under the counter and perched herself up on her barstool that she kept behind the counter for herself. Marie scanned the bar, making note of anything that might have been out of place. She folded her arms and crossed her legs tightly, letting the tension build up as much as she could before releasing it all over again. It was just going to be another night.

“Sweet Maria!!”

Marie groaned loudly as Anya strolled into the bar with a sing-song voice.

“I told you to stop calling me that!!”

Anya blew her a kiss and waltzed over to clock in. “How’s the little man today?”

Marie huffed. “He screamed the entire time I tried to put him to bed tonight. I was ready to call off and stay but mom insisted she do it and I go.”

“Just not the night for him?”

Marie shook her head. She leaned her arm against the counter and propped her head on her hand. “No. And I feel so bad because nothing I did worked. Even the things that always do.”

Anya tilted her head to meet her gaze. “Hey. You do everything for them. Mom can take over.”

Marie huffed and leaned her head down on the counter. “She doesn’t have to.”

Anya kicked the stool she was sitting on. “Let your mom help more. Keep her busy too.”

She shrugged. “Mama says she doesn’t mind, but some days I can see she’s just so tired.

“She’d do anything for you.”

“Yeah, and sometimes that scares me.”

Anya hummed in agreement.

“Think we’re in for an interesting night?” Marie changed the topic of discussion.

“Maybe one of us will get laid this week.”

“Maybe it’ll finally be me.” Marie rolled her eyes knowingly.

���You damn whore!”

Anya gasped and snickered, hightailing it away from Marie’s playful slap as the latter stood up to chase after her. “Pendeja!!”

“I love you!!”

Marie shook her head in return. She loved her too, she really did. Even when the cheerfulness was nauseating.

—

The night started off without a hitch for the both of them. Marie knew how to work smart and quick, and she and Anya had an unspoken language that kept things rolling as smoothly as possible, so long as no patrons were arguing about significant others, or with them.

Marie noticed out of the corner of her eye, a group of five men enter the bar. They clearly were not from there, meaning someone was going to drink the other under the table. She sighed and carried on until Anya rushed back to the table with an “oh shit” look on her face that couldn’t be ignored.

“If you’re ever actually serious about sleeping around again, you’ve got company.”

Marie raised an eyebrow. “Tell me you’re joking.”

“He’s got on pants only a rockstar would wear. You might want to give it a shot.”

Marie turned her head only to be yanked back to Anya’s gaze forcefully.

“Don’t be obvious!”

“I’m not being obvious, I’m doing my job!” Marie snipped back at Anya, who shook her head.

“Darling, it’s already bad.”

Marie cocked her head as Anya shot her a knowing gaze and walked off. She looked up and across the bar to the group that had just come in and laid eyes on the man in question

Anya was right. A blond haired man was staring hard. Marie rolled her shoulders back as she met his gaze, which was frozen in fear. At least she thought it was fear. She felt a little bad for how startled he looked, he was sure to be mocked by his friends, whom she noticed had the large tray of drinks that she had just made. Marie gave her own small smile in return and the man blinked quickly as if he didn’t realize he had been staring. He returned the smile nervously, but with genuine interest before turning back to his group of friends.

Marie tried to listen to the group. They weren’t speaking Spanish or English, the two most common languages to hear in the bar. Not French. Not a Nordic Language. German? Danish? Dutch? She wasn’t sure. The man that had been staring at her had caught a few glimpses of Marie, but didn’t say much as he focused on her and his cigar. Marie admittedly enjoyed the attention.

His blond hair and blue eyes stood out from the rest of his friends, all of which had long hair like he. Marie sensed a good nature from him. Something genuine. If she hadn’t been as busy as she was she would have attempted to strike up a conversation with the group. Maybe he wanted to say something, but couldn’t. Was there a language barrier?

—

Hours later, and many drinks later, one of the members of the party came up to approach Marie at the bar, not the one she anticipated speaking to, but kind mannered and attractive nonetheless.

“I’ve been here to this island quite a few times, but not to this quite lovely place.”

“I suppose you ran you off places to try?” Marie shrugged the nice comment off.

“Have to explore the whole Canary Islands! And what is your name?”

“I’m Marie.” She planted her arms in a suggestive position in front of him. “And you are?”

“Markus! Pleasure, dear.” He shoved his hand out right in front of her and Marie took it gently with amusement.

“You’re definitely not from here, got it.”

“Now I thought that was obvious!”

Marie giggled. “There’s people from every corner of the world on these islands. It’s quite the jungle.”

Markus nodded and looked around the bar. “I can tell, it’s quite lovely. Been here quite a lot with mates the last couple years. Germany is not exactly an Island Getaway”

Marie snorted and tossed the wash towel down. “I bet that’s the last thing it is. What can I grab for you then, Markus?”

He gestured to the Guinness on tap and Marie nodded, instantly pulling up a pint glass and gesturing to Markus in question.

“Now don’t cheap me out and overdo the top!” He jokingly warned.

She mockingly gasped. “I could never do that to you!” To which Markus erupted in laughter. As she poured his drink, Marie blatantly stared the man that had been gawking at her down, causing him to startle and dart his eyes away as subtly as possible.

“…. Is your friend okay?”

“Oh don’t mind him, it’s quite normal for him, actually.” He waved her off and took the pint from her.

Marie slowly side-eyed Markus as she handed him his beer.

“Normal?”

She had seen dumbstruck men walk into the bar before, but he looked genuinely nervous and sincere. He hadn’t spoken much prior to Markus approaching the bar, just chewed on his dwindling cigar.

She quickly turned her back to him and grabbed a nearly empty tequila bottle and sloshed the rest into a tall shotglass, sliding it to him while keeping her eyes on the blond man.

“Then tell him this one is on me.”

Markus laughed aloud before yelling something out in German back to his table. The blond haired man snapped back something much more impolite, causing Marie to stifle a laugh as she continued to dry and return glasses. He looked back to her as Markus nearly tossed the shot down in front of him before sitting down with his own. Marie raised her eyebrows as he reluctantly downed the shot, but with ease. The man raised the empty glass in a brief toast before turning back to Markus and his other friends. Marie smiled sheepishly as she went back to cleaning glasses.

There was no question at all at how attractive he was, the steely shine of his eyes lit up the bar brighter than any of the cheap lighting, and it was the one thing she couldn’t look away from tonight. His bangs were mussed every time he brushed them away or blew them out of his eyes and Marie enjoyed watching him sit back and easily chat with his friends in between his stares. In her years of interpreting the body language of patrons, she had never seen a man so earnest in the way he had been gazing at her. She should have felt uncomfortable, but she secretly hoped he would come to the bar instead.

As the night continued to wind down, some of Markus’s friends had departed the bar, leaving just him and the man she’d been sharing gazes with all night. Surely one of them was going to be paying their tab, the amount of beer Anya brought them could have outweighed the entire group. Maybe it was a German thing to have that much at once. As Marie began to go around the room to turn off the lanterns, she heard the two conversing in their native tonge, one sounding more heated than the other, and Marie knew it was because Markus had been teasing his friend. She heard the front door open and shut while another sound of boots clacking on the wood floors made their way towards her.

“We didn’t keep you late, did we?”

“No, of course not. you-“

Marie turned around and saw that she was face to face with the man staring at her the entire night. His gaze had softened immensely, especially when Marie stiffened up and straightened out when she realized how close they were in height.

“There was plenty of time, I just started early.”

“Oh, well….” He sifted through the money for the tab, making sure he had what he needed before thrusting it into Marie’s grasp.

“That’s for you, then. Keep the rest for yourself.”

Marie was taken aback. That rarely happened, especially from those who were not local.

“What’s your name?” Marie’s voice grew quieter, cocking her head to the side as she focused on his face. She could see the blush creeping up on his neck, and it made her feel slightly better that she was beginning to feel the same way.

“Andreas… er.. Andi. Call me Andi.”

Marie chuckled at him.

“Thank you for the shot, by the way…. Marie? Is that your name?”

“Yeah. Of course. Seemed like you needed to feel looser.” Marie shrugged, folding her arms nervously.

“Well, I appreciate the service tonight, Marie.” Andi began to depart the bar with a short wave, but Marie disapproved of the short goodbye.

“Hey!” She called after him, not satisfied with the end of their interaction.

“Will I see you in here again?”

Andi smiled brightly, making Marie’s heart flutter in a way she had never felt before. “Well, since you’re asking…”

[shelgon]

We're about to be wiped out as an island and the only thing people will remember us for is “Despacito”

[stardustlightsaber]

A poc blog just dragged the shit out of lesbi*nrey 🙌🏾

And now she’s trying to backtrack and apologize for being a racist, acting like she didn’t know she was being a racist shit the whole time. Like????? Bitch? We all fucking knew! 😂 fake ass white girl

[shittystockholmstyles]

The Day After || Oscar Diaz

Summary: Steph grows confused about her and Oscar after their second night together. Oscar shows up unexpectedly.

Warnings: language, blood, hella smut

Word count: 2,189

A/N: Finally decided where I wanted to take this story. Side note my stories don’t really coincide with anything happening in the show just ideas that I decided to write down. If you haven’t already check out Part 1 and Part 2. Hope you like it and I am open to suggestions!

Steph was pulled out of her peaceful sleep by a phone ringing and felt sudden movement behind her on the bed. She turned to see Oscar standing up, bringing his phone to his ear “que onda”

Steph propped her head up on her arm and stared at Oscar’s body outlined in the sunlight that began to seep through her window. He had his back to her and was speaking in a low voice. She couldn’t believe she had slept with him again and that he had stayed the entire night through. She would’ve thought someone like Oscar would leave after the deed was done. But he had stayed and wrapped her in his arms, what was more confusing were the warm feelings that began to grow in her stomach as she watched Oscar. He turned to face her as he said bye to whoever he had been speaking to.

“I gotta head out Mamas” Oscar said grabbing his clothes from the floor and began to put them on.

“Where are you going?” Steph asked

Oscar’s face hardened “I got shit to take care of” he replied, now fully dressed, and walked out of her door. Steph stared after him, stunned at his abruptness.

————————-

Oscar pulled into his driveway to find Sad Eyes sitting on his porch, already waiting for him.

“Aye where you been at foo” Sad Eyes asked treating Oscar

“Don’t worry about it holmes” Oscar responded as he headed inside to change.

Oscar had set up a meeting with the 19th street gang. They had been too bold lately, pulling up on kids in the neighborhood and shit. He needed to put a stop to it before things got out of hand.

Sat Eyes was sitting on the couch when Oscar walked into the living room, clean clothes on and shoving his gun into waistband.

“Let’s go, we’ve got a few stops to make.” He said to Sad Eyes

Later in the day the two Santos sat in Sad Eyes car watching the house across the street. Several guys no older than 18 sat around the front talking.

“I don’t know foo something doesn’t feel right” Sad Eyes said, turning to face Oscar.

“Man you sorry too much” said Oscar as he fgot out of the car and made his way across the street, Sad Eyes following behind.

————————

Steph called up Leti and Maria shortly after Oscar left and asked them to come over. The girls had spent there day talking about Steph’s situation with Oscar. Leti thought the whole thing was exciting but Maria, much like Steph, was confused by Oscar’s random behavior.

“Honestly you should just ask him if this is going anywhere or are you just hooking up because you don’t want to be como una pendeja catching feelings and shit” Maria said looking up at Steph from her place on the floor.

Steph groaned, throwing herself down on her bed “what if I’ve already started feeling things I shouldn’t be feeling?”

“Then you’re already a pendeja” Leti said, not looking up from her phone. “Let’s go get some dinner I’m starving”

The girls had ended up eating at a small taco shop a few blocks away. After eating they began their walk back, Maria and Leti turning down a street in the direction of their houses leaving Steph alone with her thoughts. The sun had set as she walked past the Santo house. Oscar’s car was sitting in his driveway but no one was around and the house was dark. She wondered if he was home and when she would hear from him again as she continued to make her way home.

Steph cursed realizing she had left her keys in Maria’s bag. She walked around back and forced the sliding door open. Steph walked into her kitchen and screamed seeing a figure sitting at her table. She flipped on the lights, making eye contact with Oscar. He sat there with a bottle of alcohol in his hand and blood staining the shoulder of his white shirt.

“Hey Mamas, think you can help me out?” Oscar asked.

His voice broke through Steph’s state of shock and she closed the door behind her then stepped closer to Oscar.

“Let me see” she said reaching out to pull his shirt over his head. Steph grabbed a towel and wet it to wipe away the blood covering the wound, a bullet hole, there was no hole on the back of his shoulder

“It looks like the bullet is still in your shoulder” Steph said looking at Oscar.

“Can you take it out?”

Steph gave a small nod “I’ll be right back” and she headed towards her bathroom. This wasn’t the first time she’d had a wounded man sitting at her table. She remembered the many times that her papa would come home bloody and injured. She would sit down to clean and bandage his wounds every time until the night that he didn’t come home.

Steph shook her head clearing away the memories and grabbed her kit from the bathroom. She made her way back to Oscar and pulled a chair up next to him.

“This is going to hurt” she said grabbing the alcohol out of his hand and splashing it on his wound. Oscar let out a small hiss and nodded his head.

“Just get it over with” he grunted

Steph grabbed long tweezers out of her kit and used one hand to feel around the wound for the bullet. After finding its placement she carefully used the tweezers to pull it out out. With the bullet gone the wound began to bleed again.

“Here hold this in place” Steph said to Oscar as she placed a gauze pad over the wound. His hand came up to hold it in place and Steph grabbed a needle and thread out of her kit. She gently moved his hand and the gauze and began to stitch up the wound. Oscar let out a grunt as the needle pierced his skin. Once the wound was stitched up Steph quickly dressed the wound.

“All done” Steph said sitting back in her chair.

“Not bad” Oscar said looking down.

“It’s not my first time” when Oscar threw her a questioning look she continued “I used to stitch up mi papa when he’d get injured on a run”

They sat in silence for a few moments “I should clean up” Steph said moving away. She heard Oscar following behind her on her way towards her bathroom.

“So how long were you sitting in my kitchen before I came home?” She asked

Oscar shrugged “not that long”

“What made you come here?” Steph moved around Oscar and headed toward her bedroom.

“I couldn’t go home and your place is close” he said following her and laying down on her bed.

“I take it you’re staying the night?” She raised an eyebrow at him

“Do you not want me to?”

It was her time to shrug as she began looking for something to sleep in, “I don’t mind” she found a pair sleep shorts and cami “I’ll be back” she said walking back towards the bathroom to change.

Steph walked back into her room to find Oscar still laying on her bed only he had taken off both his pants and shoes. He looked up from his phone as Steph walked in and she felt his eyes rake over her body as she walked over to the bed. He pulled her close to him and pressed his lips against hers. The kiss started of slow and gentle but became more heated as Oscar’s hand moved down to grab her hip.

Steph put a hand on Oscar’s chest and gently pushed him back “you’re injured”

“No me importa” he said, smirking at her, “you’ll just have to be careful.”

Steph nodded her head, still a little unsure, and climbed up to straddle his hips. She slowly leaned back down to continue their kiss. Oscar placed his hands on her hips and pressed her down against his hardening length. She began to move her hips, grinding against him and was satisfied by the moan Oscar let out against her lips.

“Let me make you feel good papi” Steph said, moving her lips down to kiss along his jaw and neck. She felt his full erection pushing against her core. She continued to leave a trail of kisses down his chest and stomach until she reached the waistband of his boxers. Steph grabbed hold of his boxers and began to pull them down, Oscar’s cock sprang free of the restrictive material. Making eye contact with Oscar, she wrapped her hand around him and wiped her thumb across his tip feeling the sticky precum. Steph slowly lowered herself down and teased the tip with her tongue as she moved her hand up and down his length. She ran her tongue up his erection before taking him into her mouth slowly taking his entire length until she felt him hit the back of her throat.

Oscar brought his hand up to Steph’s hair and wound his fingers in it “look at me Mamas”

She looked up through her eyelashes and met his eyes as she sped up her movements, up and down his length, hollowing her cheeks.

Oscar’s moans only served as encouragement for her to continue

“Fuck, that little mouth of yours feels so good” he groan thrusting his hips up. “Just like that Mamas”

Steph sped up her pace and moaned as she felt his body tighten under hers.

“Fuck, hold up baby I’m not ready to cum yet.” Oscar said as he released his grip on her hair.

Steph sat up looking at him “

“Take off your clothes Mamacita” he said

She quickly shed herself of the clothes she was wearing, Oscar watching her, and moved to straddle him once more. Oscar moved his hand down between her thighs “Did sucking my cock turn you on that much?” He asked feeling her wetness.

She nodded her head “yes papi” and began to grind against his hand.

Oscar slowly slipped a finger inside her as his thumb rubbed against her clit. He liked that she was so easy to turn on “you only get like this for me right?”

Steph met his eyes, remembering the other night, “yes papi only you” she replied, breathlessly.

Oscar pulled his hand away and guided his cock to her entrance. Steph brought herself down slowly on his cock until he was buried deep inside her. She lifted herself up and lowered herself back down at a slow pace a few times, teasing him, having fun being the one to set the pace for once.

Oscar grabbed her hips “speed up baby” he looked at her, a warning behind his eyes.

“Or what” Steph replied continuing her pace.

“Or I’ll flip us over”

“Not with your injury” she smirked but began to move faster anyways, up and down as she rotated her hips in a circle. Oscar groaned his hands tightening on her hips and watched as her breasts bounced with the rhythm of her movements. He reached a hand up and began to play with her nipple.

“Fuck” Steph moaned closing her eyes slightly

“Come on baby look at me” Oscar said he brought his hands to her shoulders and pulled her down to kiss him. He ran his tongue across her bottom lip causing her to open her mouth. Steph’s tongue met Oscar’s with an eagerness as she felt her stomach begin to tighten and tingle. He locked his arms behind her and started thrusting his hips up meeting her movements. He continued his movements at a fast and hard pace slamming into her and hitting her sensitive spot. Her legs began to shake and her pussy tightened around him.

“Oh fuck, Oscar” she screamed out “keep going papi, I’m cumming”

Steph’s words were all Oscar needed. He continued thrusting into her as he felt his own orgasm coming. His thrusts became sloppy as he came inside her filling her with every last drop of his cum.

Steph laid against Oscar’s chest. They were both covered in sweat and breathing hard. She felt weak and knew her legs would start shaking if she moved. Oscar kept his arms wrapped around her as their breathing returned to normal.

“Oscar?” Steph said raising her head to look at him.

He was already looking at her “hmmm?”

“I was just wondering” Steph started, “we uhh” she began to feel nervous “do you consider last night a date?” She finally said.

Her stared at her, shock clear on his face “do you?”

“I didn’t know if I should or not” Steph said glancing down at his bandaged shoulder. No blood was visible, she noted

Oscar’s hand went under her chin forcing her head up. “It was a date for me” he said, “if that helps you decide whether it was a date for you”

Steph smiled and gave him a soft kiss before resting her head back on his chest.

Oscar tightened his arms around her “ve a dormir”

[natalieb-r]

la historia terminó, no con un final feliz sino inconcluso

pienso en esas vacaciones del 2018, mi mejor año. fui feliz. te conocí. me acuerdo la primera vez que te vi, estabas jugando solo en el muro, me hice la que no me importaba. me pareciste curioso. no se me olvida cuando nos presentaron. nuestro primer cara a cara. llegue a la casa, empecé a buscarte por todas las redes sociales, quería saber más de ti. pero, en ese momento, solo sabía tu nombre. todos los días me emocionaba al saber que ya eran las 6 pm y ya te iba a ver. eran tus últimas vacaciones, acá en vup. ninguno de los sabíamos que el destino nos iba a unir. me acuerdo de ese feeling o ansiedad que sentía dentro de mi. nuestra primera conversación, diste el primer paso, eso me gustó. seguimos hablando diariamente. pasó un mes. ya me gustabas, todo fue tan rápido. te dije que no quería que nadie supiera lo de nosotros. “no quería que la gente se metiera en mis cosas”. me daba miedo. me daba miedo lo que dijeran. me daba miedo enamorarme. nunca lo había sentido, pero se sentía bien. junio y julio, fue nuestra mejor época. ya mis amigas sabían de ti. nuestras conversaciones infinitas por la noche y las llamadas después de que mis primos se durmieran. nunca las voy a olvidar. me acuerdo la primera vez que salimos solos a “cine”, me moria de la pena. era nuestra primera vez solos. ahí fue nuestro primer beso. no olvido cuando me llamaron y te toco llevarme al centro comercial. no olvido ese momento en el parqueadero, donde me despedimos con un beso y bajaste el vidrio. solo sonreíste. ahí me di cuenta, que era mutuo. después en las clases, te ignoraba, me daba miedo que supieran. me daba miedo que me molestaran. que estupida fui. llegó agosto. todo estaba pasando rápido pero así también las cosas se fueron desmoronando. entre al colegio y ya no era lo mismo, mi prioridad se volvieron otras cosas. obviamente siempre estabas en mi cabeza. solo sabían de ti shadia, maria jose, mario y zuri. no quería que nadie supiera. no quería que hablaran de mi, uno de mis temores más grandes. ahora me doy cuenta que fui una estupida miedosa. en agosto, no éramos los mismos de hace dos meses. sin embargo, mi sentimiento seguía incrementando, aunque no sabía cómo demostrártelo. te decía que era muy inestable, y que no quería tener una relación. en ese momento quería todo lo contrario. llegó septiembre, de un momento a otro te dije todo lo que sentía. me acuerdo que fue en el parqueadero. esperando al señor chu, me robaste un beso hasta que sentimos que un carro venía. cuando me monte al carro me di cuenta que tenía una sonrisa de oreja a oreja, después del beso. ahí me di cuenta, que eras mi refugio. ahí quería estar. me acuerdo que fue el lunes antes de amor y amistad, donde mi corazón se destrozó un poquito. me escribiste por chat, ni siquiera en persona, que en el momento (agosto) que te dije que no quería nada contigo, empezaste andar con otra persona. me dolió tanto eso, me dolió que no tuviste los huevos de decírmelo en persona. esa noche fue horrible, lloré por primera vez por un hombre. me sentía como una mierda. me sentía engañada. al día siguiente, no podía mostrarles a los de mi curso lo que me pasaba. solo sabían shadia y mario. recuerdo que mario me dijo que eso me pasó por no valorar. fue la verdad. era más tóxica que nunca. no te quería conmigo ni con nadie más. sin embargo, en ese instante cuando quería, tu no podías. esa semana hasta el viernes (día de amor y amistad) te demostré con todas las fuerzas, que no me importabas, me reía con todo el mundo cuando en realidad me estaba muriendo mientras sentía que me mirabas. eso nunca falto. nuestras miradas hablaban más que nosotros. cuando llego la hora de intercambiar los regalos. todo estaba normal. me puse hablar con otras personas y me llamaste. fui como una pendeja y me di cuenta que tenías un regalo. me lo diste, te di las gracias pero no te mire a los ojos. me acuerdo, estaba confundida. cuando llego a la casa, veo que me mandas un post por instagram. no sabía que hacer, acudí en esos momentos a shadia, que era mi mejor amiga, y le pregunté.no me deja escribir mas.

[su-angelvicioso]

honestly how did Maria a whole Latina woman who no doubt experienced racism in her human AND vampire lives not kick Jasper's ass from Mexico to fucking Antarctica after discovering his racist ass tendencies

It’s SO funny that you sent me this because I literally had a conversation about this with a friend a little while ago lol!!!

My queen Latina would absolutely NOT have any of his racist bullshit. When she changed him she did genuinely see something in him (which says something in itself) like she definitely saw his potential. However, there was also a part of her inside that saw that confederate uniform and said “imma take this racist and imma show him. Might have to slap some sense into him too.” María was doing everyone a favor when she took the racist off the streets and she deserves her credit for not only taking him but draining the racist genes out of him.

She would have put a hard stop on any racist attitudes he had. Like she literally would have smacked the piss out of his little white boy ass if he said anything racist to her. She’s dealt with enough of that throughout her life and she ain’t having it. She’s like “Listen here culo!! You see me? You see me being a better leader than you and all your little army leaders combined?! Yeah, fuck your racism!” and Jaspers just holding his cheek like 😧 lmao. She cursed him tf out every single time he tried anything with anyone else too. “Just because you have some authority doesn’t mean you’re gonna mistreat the ones that don’t look like you pinche pendeja!!”

One of the other white newborns made a racist comment thinking it was okay after seeing Jasper do it and Maria’s like “Jasper, let’s learn how to kill a racist newborn! :D”. Jasper stays silent for the next two weeks because he’s afraid of saying the wrong thing and getting a tongue lashing en Español until María yells at him to talk like “It’s not that hard to not be racist idiota!”

Jasper learns a lot from his time with her. Being around so many minorities and such, he realizes a lot of things he grew up on in his horrible past was wrong and bigoted. He becomes interested in Maria’s past and asks her more and more questions about her life and ethnic background. María is surprised by this, never really having someone take such an interest in her. She happily informs and introduces him into her cultural practices and past. She admired his change and is proud of him. Up until then she’d never seen a white man change his racist ways/thoughts, and up until meeting her, Jasper had never seen a Mexican woman take charge and stand up in the way he saw María do; but that’s probably because he was a bit sheltered in a more ‘privileged white man’ way growing up. He found her leadership attractive and he respected and admired her. After learning of her past and her encounters with racism he began to understand why she got so angry at him whenever he did or said something racist to her or anyone. Outside of how wrong it is in general, he could tell it really hit home for her.

There’s a reason Jasper never actually tried to seriously harm her, and it ain’t because “he wanted to show her mercy”. María would beat his ass if he tried anything and he knew. He kneewww.💀

It’s too bad he’s sorta racist to the wolf pack in the quileute tribe in the present now tho :/ kind of a step backwards after María. Anyway, this ask and typing out this response had me cracking up lol!! I love talking about Jasper being a racist and getting his ass handed to him for it. Thank you anon. You’ve made my night. 💖😘

[vidaandthecity]

The Harvest

This is me handing you the knife/ This is you fronting like you don’t want it/ Pero tabien papito/ I still love you/ in dirty desperation/ like the Mexicanas do in novelas/ This is how we Nuyoricans make love/ with cigarette breaths/metro card swipes/ and Trump stained matresses/ Here Cabron, this is the knife you use to peel/ the zing off of oranges/ the skin off of pendejas like me who write poems/ and fuck/ instead of treating sadness/ with gun toting PHD holders/ Here/ take this knife/ peel off my skin/ harvest my organs/ Because I know you/ better than/ you know yourself.

Written by: Maria Billini

(All rights reserved by Maria Billini and vidaandthecity)

Image: Art by René Magritte

[beezran-moved]

lance hcs

ok so i fell in love with lance cause he's latino and so am i and he reminds me of myself a lot, ok??? and I kinda wished they had explored that a little more so here

lance's family is pretty big, he grew up with his siblings, 11 cousins from his mom's side, and 13 from his dad's

abuelita when she has to babysit all of them: ay dios mio

lance's abuelita lives with them which means lance was super loved and spoiled and dramatic

like that boy can quote so many telenovelas thanks to his abuelita

his abuelita was a dancer when she was younger so she obviously taught him and his siblings how

seven year old lance and his abuelita at 4am listening to selena: cada vez!!!! cada vez que lo veo pasar!!! mi corazon se enloquese!!!! y me empieza a palpitar!!!! bidi bidi bom bom!!!

(i probably misspelled most of that whoops)

(lance was a selena quintanilla stan and anyone who disagrees can fight me. if you don't know her..... what are you doing with your life?????)

so lance is obviously bilingual and a huge chismoso (so is the rest of his family)

lance to his siblings and around the person he's talking about: y la pendeja estaba aqui!!!

his parents would make fun of them when they say something wrong in spanish

lance to his mami: mami, me das unas modenas para comprarme algo???

lance realizing his mistake and that he will never be able to live it down: ay virgen maria

he would also switch languages mid sentence without noticing

lance excitedly talking to hunk: and then he jumped y todos gritaron!!!

hunk trying to rejister what's being said to him when he can't really understand spanish: uhhhh

ugh he forgets how to say things in a language so many times

lance: what's the word for gold in spanish???? golro?????

his sister veronica after staring at him for two minutes: oro,,,,, it's oro

he never trusts butter containers

lance opening a butter container because he wants some toast: please not beans

the container: is filled with beans

lance: this is so sad alexa play despacito

celia cruz is the shit in their house

he sings her songs when he misses his abuelita because she idolized her

he tries to teach the others spanish because he's terrified of losing the language that's his only connection to home

he panics if he can't remember a word and wishes his siblings were there to fill the blank in his mind

he even misses when his mami would cook chile, even if his throat itched and felt like it was on fire because it meant he was home

he only swears in spanish when he's really mad and ready to curse a whole family

he misses looking up diy face mask recipes with his mami

also anyone who's close to his parents immediately becomes tio/tia

lance introducing his family to the others: there's my tia carmen, tio gabriel, tia ivonne....

keith: how many siblings do your mom and dad have?

lance: not that many :))))

also his family teases him all the time, even more when he comes home with a huge crush on keith

his tia: y el novio????

lance: uhhhhh

lance used to dread family reunions because he had to greet everyone with a kiss on the cheek and "de buen modo"

now he would give anything to greet his family again even if it took forever

this was kinda sad, im sorry :(((

[loveozamor]

Él es el responsable y causante de toda la pendeja histeria y horrendo llanto que en mi alma habita hoy en día.

Él es de por quien hay una penumbra dentro de mis sentimientos y mis emociones se quiebran cada vez más despacio que hace dolerme por dentro y por fuera ser más idiota de lo normal.

Siempre digo que es por él el motivo de estar mal, pero la verdad es que yo misma tenga la culpa, porque yo soy la persona más pendeja que puede haber en este mundo.

Autor: Maria Isabel del Pilar Calderón Barajas

[trovadorpaisa]

Oda al Feminismo Venezolano tan bienhechor y provechoso

.

.

.

La pobre Pelada Maria Gabriela se dedicó a comerciar con Arroz Su Padre fue siempre el Lobo Feroz De la Corrupción ambos son Escuela Fue con esa Mamacita Cristina que es lo peor después de Perón la que arruina a la Argentina y glorifica a todo Ladrón Triunfó en esas Naciones la Indelicadeza Ahora son puro Caos e Inflación En Colombia quieren la Robolución Una Vieja y Petristas de la Pereza La Belleza Delcy Eloina acusó en CPI a Duque Iván Dice que el Gordo es un Bacán de una mafiosa Oficina Oh que Proyección tan divina Sigmund Freud se quedó corto Delcy debería estar en la Cocina De la Mente Chavista es un Aborto A Chávez le recomendó Córdoba Piedad ese Empresario tan decente de Alex Saab Pa Construcciones y Ventas de Cajitas CLAP pa robar y saquear ese País con Maldad A Venezuela la pervirtió Cilia que empezó en Valencia de Narca A Chávez y Maduro metió en la Barca Acabaron todos en Mafiosa Familia Hoy amanecí anti-Feminista me enverracan todas estas Viejas No se si son brutas y pendejas o degeneradas por lo Chavista

.

[nwyorkhq]

AUDICIÓN ACEPTADA: JOSÉ MARÍA RUÍZ (CHRIS WOOD)

¡JOSÉ MARÍA! Bienvenido a la Gran Ciudad, los rumores dicen que los sueños se cumplen acá, que lo último que harás es dormir, porque New York nunca duerme. Los RUÍZ te reciben con los brazos abiertos, esperemos que estés dispuesto a compartir una caminata por el Central Park o dar el recorrido que te guíe a la estatua de la Libertad. Recuerda muy bien ser tú quien domine la ciudad y no ella a ti.

¡UNA PENDEJA! Ahora estás casi oficialmente en el roleplay, te agradecemos de antemano por el interés en el proyecto que te ha llevado a esta etapa que has completado exitosamente. De ahora en más cuentas con 24 horas para hacer entrega de tu cuenta. Sin más que decir, nos complace darte una cálida bienvenida.

— OUT OF CHARACTER.

Nombre: emmita

Pronombres: la señora de acero, digo ella

Edad: 20

Nacionalidad: mexicana

Nivel de conexión (1-10): 300

¿Algo que desees agregar?: *suena el intro de el señor de los cielos bc le gusta más que el del chema* YO QUIERO CULPAR A LISSIE por convencerme de ponerle “el chema” por el aesthetic GRACIAS

— IN CHARACTER:

Nombre: José María “El Chema” Ruíz

Número de cupo: 54

Nacionalidad: Mexicano

Fecha de nacimiento: 3 de julio, 1989

Faceclaim: Chris Wood

Personalidad: José María destaca por ser leal y protector, pero con quien se lo gana y quien tiene su cariño; siendo estos su familia y pocas personas fuera de la misma. Temerario hasta la médula, no le importa arriesgarse por sus allegados. Muy listo, sabe cómo manejarse pues eso es esencial en la vida que ha llevado desde su juventud. Es bastante manipulador y despiadado, rasgos desarrollados a punta de golpes y hasta encañonado. Impulsivo, a veces le cuesta cuidar su lengua y es cuestión de segundos para que desate el caos si algo no le parece.

5 facts (M��ximo de tres renglones por cada uno):

Hijo del jefe de uno de los carteles más poderosos de México; su infancia fue distinta a la de cualquier niño. Si bien creció rodeado de dinero y cada cosa que él quería, en casas lujosas, jugando en ranchos y explorando haciendas, siempre tuvo una vida ajetreada, corriendo riesgos.

Con solo dieciséis años comenzó a ser educado respecto al negocio familiar. La cabeza de los Ruíz prácticamente lo entrenó con la esperanza de que pudiese ser el sucesor. José María en un inicio teme, pero ante la pérdida de su padre, y aún con las constantes trabas de su madre ( la nueva encargada ), se involucra. Su nueva ambición es seguir con el negocio en cuanto sea su turno y volverse el narcotraficante más poderoso.

Se mancha las manos de sangre muchas veces, vive experiencias que lo convierten en el sanguinario hombre que es hoy. El Chema se gana el respeto de muchos, tanto por ser el hijo de La Reina y su difunto esposo, como por sus acciones. No obstante, bajo la insistencia de la señora Ruíz, José María se muda a Estados Unidos permanentemente junto a sus hermanos.

Contrario a lo que aparenta, sí posee un corazón. Chema se enamora y tiene a su primer hijo con la heredera de un viejo amigo de su padre, para después casarse con ella. No obstante, la fama de mujeriego no es un rumor; Chema dice amar a su mujer, pero constantemente se enrolla con otras, aprovechando la distancia que actualmente los separa ( ella en Cocoa Beach con sus ahora dos hijos, por seguridad y con la promesa de José Maria de ir constantemente a verlos ).

Su madre es la única mujer a la que da todo su respeto y acata sus órdenes. Ahora que están en Nueva York y que el negocio ha crecido, Chema está más involucrado y con mucho mas interés en cumplir su meta, sin importar cuánto le cueste. Por su parte, a un lado de los negocios de su progenitora, él tiene un taller mecánico reconocido por su eficiencia, pero también por poder acudir ahí para trabajos más turbios como papeles falsos para autos robados, entre otras cosas.

[love-letters-blog]

"YA NO"

Creo que ya notaste que no soy la misma pendeja de antes,

ya no te lloro de lunes a domingo, no imagino mi futuro contigo, no te te extraño como solía hacerlo.

Ni siquiera ya espero que regreses, y mi poesía ya no es para ti.

Ya no ando pensando, con quién andas, o si al despertar te acuerdas de mí.

Como me hubiera encantado comprender el destino que nos unió, o quizás era que tenía que ser así, sólo que tus planes eran otros. Ojalá que la próxima vez que te sientas solo, ya no busques refugio en un corazón que no puedas amar, porque tu vacío es matar todo lo que se cruza en tu camino, para ser feliz a costa del sufrimiento ajeno.

Me hiciste pasar de la mujer más enamorada del mundo, y que lo daba todo por hacerte feliz, a ya no sentir nada.

– Maria Lea Quinteros

(Aporte)

[cielolovebarum]

LA INSACIABLE

EL LIBRO 27

POR LA SANTA BERTHA LA INSACIABLE LA INSACIABLE LA INSACIABLE

 SI COMO ÑO  RE MASTERIZADO

Pues si ¿??? Ni hablar ¿??? Así es ¿??? Que le vamos hacer ¿??? Estas son La famosas Palabras de El Señor Ramón residente de Tijuana Baja California.

Y eran como Las 10 de La Noche en un reloj que estaba colgado en Las Oficinas de La Black And White Records Picture División cuando de repente vemos muy ocupado y sentado en su sillón al director de La Película LA INSACIABLE producida por La Black And White Records y dirigida por Guadalupe de María.

Que en esos momentos se encontraba vivito hablando por teléfono con La Señorita Rafferty Shenzac.

( el nombre de La Rafferty Shenzac fue plagiado por una artista desconocida )

GDM.- Y ay pero que ocurrente es usted señorita La Rafferty Shenzac, ji-ji-ji, y ayyy pero que pena me da ¿???

LRS.- pero quien berrea ¿???

GDM.- Ay pero que chusca es aste, ji-ji-ji ¿???

LRS.- o escupe su apodo o lo cuelgo de los huevos, mamoncito morrales ¿???

GDM.- No lo hagas tesoro ji-ji-ji, please si ¿???

LRS.- Pues entonces ladre ¿???

GDM.- Mi nombre es La Guadalupe de María, ji-ji-ji ¡!!!

LRS.- Pues te oyes mas como la maría que como La Guadalupe ¿???

GDM.- Y Floreado del Cicirin ¡!!!

LRS.- Y cuando sucedió eso ¿???

GDM.- Floreado del name y a pedillo del cicirin ¡!!!

LRS.- Saco ‘pa juera ¿???

GDM.- Ay que chusca ji-ji-ji ¿???

LRS.- Y que hongo mi mariana ¿???

GDM.- Soy La Direc… perdón soy El Director de La Película La Insaciable…

LRS.- Y quien la está produciendo, galleta ¿???

GDM.- y porque me dice galleta

LRS.- porque tienes nombre de galleta, maria

GDM.- ah ‘pos si

LRS.- ah ‘pos ay ta’

GDM.- y la obra de arte la está produciendo La Black And White Records Picture División ¡!!!

LRS.- obra de arte, ha de ser otra mamada mexicana de sexo vulgar

GDM.- verdad de dios que esta película no es para retrasados mentales

LRS.- y como dices que se llama esa mugrosa compañía de mierda, la black and decker or what ever

GDM.- La Black And White Records, tesoro  

LRS.- Y uy, pero que pinche compañía tan gachupin porque ha de estar tan jodida como para contratar a puros putos ¿???

GDM.- Ay chulis, ji-ji-ji, eso no es cierto ¿???

LRS.- pues a mí se me hace que a usted le gusta la verga

GDM.- no es cierto nomas tantito

LRS.- y tantito es un titipuchal en el universo, no lo crees

GDM.- y porque de repente me hablas de tu y después de usted

LRS.- usted fue el pendejo que comenzó hablar así

GDM.- ah ‘pos si

LRS.- ah ‘pos ay ta’

LRS.- Y ‘pa que’s toy buena ¿???

GDM.- Para ver si quiere tomar El Papel de La Rosalinda Sánchez ¿???

LRS.- ya me limpie el culo, gracias

GDM.- el guion de la inmortal actriz

LRS.- y cuando se murió

GDM.- se le nombra así a una persona que ha dejado un legado para la humanidad

LRS.- puta madre, si trabajo en Las del Talón, si que estamos jodidos

GDM.- un poco diferente pero se la saco en Las del Jalón

LRS.- pues que La Rosa Linda también es puto como tu comprenderás o que vergas

GDM.- no, ella si es una hembrita de honor  

LRS.- Y quien es esa piruja ¿???

GDM.- La Actriz Principal ¡!!!

LRS.- Pues no estoy interlazada y llegale mariquita ¿???

GDM.- Porque, corazón ¿???

LRS.- Porque no me gusta trabajar con putos ¿???

GDM.- Y si me vuelvo macha ¿???

LRS.- que

GDM.- por ti seré, por ti seré

LRS.- TRAMBA, pero que yo sepa todavía, de esa sicosis colectiva nadie se ha podido curar o nadie se ha podido enfermar si no todo lo contrario

GDM.- Y si yo lo logro, primor ¿???

LRS.- nadie ha podido regresar de la muerte para contarlo ¿???

GDM.- No me desprecies, corazón ¿???

LRS.- La Neta María, yo no me estaciono en La Zona de Los Camisas Rosas ¿???

GDM.- Por favor, mi vida ¿???

LRS.- Búsquese a otra penitente ¡!!!

GDM.- Y si la vida no me hubiera castigado tanto y yo no fuera un fenómeno degenerado que otro pretexto me daría ¿???

LRS.- Que i o no hago churros de caballitos ¡!!!

GDM.- Porque no se deja venir para que charlemos un rato ¿???

LRS.- que pason, si yo con mis orgasmos me conformo

GDM.- un ratón con su gatita, si

LRS.- Pues que cree que tengo su tiempo, hoton ¿???

GDM.- Y si te pago tu tiempo para venirte, corazón, aceptarías ¿???

LRS.- yo no tengo pito te lo re pito

GDM.- lo que quiero decir es que si usted acepta venir para platicar un rato conmigo acerca de la película le pagare por su tiempo

LRS.- ‘ora me vas a contrarrestar como tu jor ¿???

GDM.- Que mas podría perder ¿???

LRS.- Que pues ¿???

Y entonces La Raffe como buena siciliana se le ablando el corazón y más que nada ella solo estaba bromeando La Suavidad de La María, pero le gusto La Forma como le hablo.

GDM.- entonces se lo pediré de la forma que usa usted para hablar, ton’s que ¿???

LRS.- Me voy a lanzar ‘pa yotla, pero me voy a venir rápido ¡!!!

GDM.- no que no culito

LRS.- ay guey pero que osote come tu

GDM.- A pedazos no lo quiero te puedes quedar con el ¿???

LRS.- Ay guey, machetazo a yegua de copas ¿???

GDM.- entonces te espero mi amor ¿???

LRS.- Desayunara ¿???

Y entonces La Raffer salió de su chante para tomar un taxi ( y se lo va a tomar en las rocas ) para subirse a un taxi pero El Chofer le resulto de lo más normal.

LRS.- A La Blacky de bolon pin pon ¡!!!

ET.- Le va a costar cien do la rucos ¡!!!

LRS.- Váyase a La ver… dad que si se pasa de ver… ras, porque la ver… reda y me bajo en los acospanes ¡!!!

ET.- Que sea un toleco ¿???

LRS.- Que chan ge ¿???

Y después El Chofer comenzó hacer de las suyas.

ET.- Ton’s que mi Reynosa tamaulipeca ladronde me llevas ¿???

LRS.- Tamaulipeca su mama, cabron ¡!!!

ET.- Y cuando nos comemos ese pollo ¿??

LRS.- Primero se come El Pollo de su mama, hijito de…

ET.- Y que le parece si le metemos este tornillito a su rondanita ¿???

LRS.- Métaselo a La Rondanita de su mama ¿???

ET.- chale, a poco no le gusta la verdolaga si a todas las viejas les encanta

LRS.- y por eso todo el tiempo andan panzonas las pendejas porque no le miden el agua a los camotes y te me sientas en la banqueta para que veas girar las ruedas de tu mama

ET.- hay que hacer pueblo

LRS.- Y con puros pinches chamacos indeseables que nadie quiere y que por eso los botan a la calle como perros para sobrepasar la sobrepoblación mundial. JESUCRISTO ¿???

De esa manera tan absurda llegaron a La Blacky pero le dijo La Raffy al chofer que esperara en El Estacionamiento de La Compañía en lo iba a tocar El Timbre.

Y cuando se bajo parecía que estaba bailando porque no podía poner un solo pie en El Suelo de lo borracha que iba y fumando como un ferrocarril.

LRS.- Compermenso ¿???

Pero cuando llego a La Puerta El Portero detuvo le El Penalti.

EP.- eeey, eeey a donde me llevas ¿???

Porque la detuvo de un brazo y no la dejo pasar.

LRS.- Tengo una cita con La señora María ¡!!!

EP.- Pero Las Pirujas no pueden pasar ¿???

LRS.- Piru ja su mama, pendejo ¡!!!

EP.- A quien dice que viene a ver ¿???

LRS.- a La María Guadalupe ¡!!!

EP.- Puedo ver su identificación ¿???

LRS.- que es usted de La Destapo

EP.- aflojando

LRS .- ok, aquí esta ¡!!!

EP.- Esta no sirve ¡!!!

Y entonces comenzó a sacar una serie de credenciales que nunca convencieron al portero.

LRS.- Que poca manera, aquí esta mi picaporte ¡!!!

EP.- Es Gabacho y aquí dice que usted es ameri naca ¡!!!

LRS.- Aquí esta La de Maniobrar, imbécil ¡!!!

EP.- Tampoco se ponga perra porque me la cojo y ya está vencida ¡!!!

LRS.- La de El Rector ¡!!!

EP.- El Infle esta vendido con El Gobierno pero voy a tener que valérsela por buena  

LRS.- Alelua que cada cual agarre la sua, compermenso ¡!!!

EP.- No puede pasar ¡!!!

LRS.- Y ahora porque ¿???

EP.- Porque La Señora María no trabaja aquí ¡!!!

LRS.- Pero si acabamos de ladrar por telesforo ¿???

EP.- Desde Birmania ¿???

LRS.- Y porque no comenzó desde ahí ¿???

EP.- Porque no pregunto ¡!!!

LRS.- Y porque me pidió tantas credenciales ¿? ??

EP.- Porque soy muy celoso de mi deber ¡!!!

LRS.- puta madre si todos los mexicanos fueran así no se estuvieran muriendo de hambre

EP.- y porque papa gobierno dice que no de pan vive el hombre

LRS.- JESUCRISTO

EP.- sin pecado concebido

LRS.- esa fue su mama, pendejo

EP.- la alteración de los productos no altera el pecado

LRS.- Entonces no me va a dejar pasar, idiota ¿???

EP.- Ni de broma ¿???

Entonces La Rafferty se regreso con El Taxista pero este la vio bien sacada de onda.

 ET.- Porque tan enojada mi Reyna ¿???

LRS.- porque ese pinche portero pendejo no me dejo pasar por sus puros huevos y la verdad..

ET.- Quiere que le vaya a poner una calentadita ¿???

LRS.- Primero déjeme hablar le por teléfono al Señor José ¿???

Y pero en lo que la raffert se dispuso a marcarle a la mari lupe para hablar con ella el taxista bien bravo se arrancó hacia la entrada de la blacky bajo la mirada distraída de la ofendida.

Y le puso una golpiza de las buenas que en vez de componer el asunto lo echo por la borda de la casa como si fuera barco, pero estuvo bien para los pasaditos de verga.

Y cuando el taxista regreso con ella no dijo nada porque La Raffer tampoco le pregunto nada pero tuvo La Decencia de regresar otra vez con El Portero.

LRS.- Es su ultima palabra ¿???

Y el portero agarrándose la quijada con mucho cuidado con un pañuelo negro para que no se le escurriera la sangre, contesto.

EP.- Son políticas de La Compañía ¡!!!

LRS.- Pues valientes dirigentes tiene ¿???

EP.- Sáquese de aquí vieja borracha ¡!!!

Y entonces El Portero le quiso dar un golpe a la raffy cuando sintió el otro lado.

Porque El Taxista le dio tremendo derechazo que lo mando de purititas nalgas y entonces si por El Celular La Rafferty le marco a La María porque ya se había armado el gran alboroto en la entrada de la blacky con todos los trabajadores de la planta baja y los visitantes que solo gritaban por asistencia.

GDM.- Primor porque me dejaste colgada ¿???

LRS.- mejor bájale gordita

GDM.- que grosera

LRS.- pendeja, te estoy hablando desde la recepción pero tu gato no me deja pasar ¡!!!

Entonces El Director bajo de volada a La Recepción, pero al ver tirado en El Suelo al portero de inmediato comprendió La Situación y cortó por lo sano diciéndole a la recepcionista.

GDM.- Señorita, llene IIene Las Formas del despido de este tipo y que le entregan su caja de ahorros y que Los Guardias de Seguridad lo saquen a patadas ¡!!!

Pero la pregunta del melón de baros se nos viene encima porque durante la maldita bronca nunca vimos que apareciera un guardia de seguridad por ningún lado Y BENDITO SEA DIOS

Y entonces La María Guadalupe le dijo al taxista.

GDM.- Cuanto se te debe guapo ¿???

ET.- Cincuenta pesos, Señor ¡!!!

Y fue cuando la raffert se puso bien guapa con su acosador salvador para descubrir como en nalgunas ocasiones el villano se convierte en héroe.

RS.- RS.- No es cierto porque son cien dólares ¡!!!

Entonces El Director saco un billete de cien dólares y se los entregó con gusto al taxista que se fue muy contento dándole un beso en La Mejilla a su benefactora.

ET.- gracias preciosa

LRS.- a ti mi amor

Y cuando el taxista se fue…

LRS.- ya podemos moverlas para su oficina ¿???

GDM.- claro que si mi cielo

Y todavía cuando iban caminando por el pasillo de la planta baja para subir al segundo piso El Director le dijo a La Rafferty.

GDM.- y como sabias que estaba gordita

LRS.- no lo sé o simplemente me lo imagine

GDM.- Ay, y mejor nos vamos de a trenecito porque yo las muevo mejor que tu ¿???

Y la raffer agarro la fodonga cintura de la lupe y se fueron jugando y platicando.

LRS.- Y fíjate la lupita que ultimamente he tenido muchos problemas ¿??? J

GDM.- No te preocupes que yo te voy a enseñar a ser mujer ¿???

LRS.- Pero que poca madre tienes, desgraciada ¿???

GDM.- Porque mi tesoro ¿ ???

LRS.- Porque como tú me vas a poder enseñar a ser mujer a mi si esa es mi real y verdadera vocación ¿??? J

GDM.- Te lo aseguro mi vida, te sorprenderás ¿??

LRS.- Y por primero de cuantas yo no sé en que estás pensando porque yo lo que intentaba decirte es que tengo muchos problemas con El Alcajol ¿???

GDM.- Tu no te preocupes corazón porque yo te voy a enderezar todos los sentimientos para que ya no sufras más y te voy a entregar todos mis secretos para que te conviertas en toda una mujer ¿???

Entonces de pronto llegaron a La Puerta de La Oficina y se Dispusieron a entrar, pero como había muchos problemas de identificación lo resolvieron de esta manera.

LRS.- Como aquí no hay caballeros quien debe de entrar a La Oficina primero ¿???

GDM.- Y como yo soy La gran Anfitriona tu entras primero ¡!!!

Entonces cuando entraron a La Oficina le dijo El Director a la raffer que se sentara.

GDM.- Hágame El Favor de sentarse señorita La Rafferty Shenzac ¿?

Y como me tratas te ves La Rafferty regreso La Cortesía.

LRS.- Muchas Gracias, Señor don José ¡!!!

Pero El Director se sintió tan mal como desplazado, humillado y ofendido.

GDM.- Ay, que horrible se oye hasta se me puso La piel Chinita como de gallina ¿???

LRS.- Perrón ¡!!!

GDM.- Nunca me vuelvas hablar de esa forma porque te corro ¿???

LRS.- Pero si todavía no entro a trabajar ¿???

GDM.- Ah, po chi ¿???

LRS.- Sinceramente dígame como quiere que lo o la llame ¿???

GDM.- La Santa Bertha ¡!!!

LRS.- La Santa Bertha ¿???

GDM.- Aaaah, aaaaaah ¿???

LRS.- Que lo repacho si es La Chair Woman de La Black And White Records ¿???

GDM.- Asegún Los primeros Acordes que tuvimos tu desconocías El Paradero ¿???

LRS.- De El Metro Pantitlan ¿???

GDM.- De La Black And White Records ¡!!!

LRS.- Y de donde cree que saque El pinche Nombrecito ¿??? J

GDM.- Ay, Pilluela ¿???

Pero de repente los interrumpió La Cajera que venía acompañada del portero.

LC.- Señorita La Guadalupe María, necesito que me firme Los Documentos ¿? ??

GDM.- Con mucho gusto ¡!!!

Pero El Portero no podía soportar que lo despidieran.

EP.- Por favor Señorita Lalup, no me despida ¿??? J

GDM.- pero mente… de donde sacaste eso de que es política de La Compañía y fíjate a quien se lo hiciste porque si hubiera sido otra pendeja ni cuenta nos damos ¿???

LRS.- Gracias ¿???

GDM.- Usted sabe lo que quiero decir, no ¿???

LRS.- Solo estaba bro meando ¡!!!

Y como no hubo reconciliación salió La Cajera con Los Papeles Firmados y seguida por El Despedido de El Portero que iba con La Cola Entre Las Patas.

LRS.- Que mala onda ¿???

GDM.- Se lo merecía, que no ¡!!!

LRS.- Pos ya que ¿???

GDM.- Por fin solos como dicen Los Enamorados ¿???

LRS.- I o toco fierrera ¡!!!

GDM.- Que chusca, ji-ji-ji ¡!!!

LRS.- So ¿???

GDM.- Ay, Señorita ¿???

LRS.- Y cual es La Pileta ¿???

GDM.- Ay, es que este desgraciado me puso La Carne de Gallina ¿???

LRS.- y porque no de gallo

GDM.- que pues

LRS .- Pero si ya la tiene ¿??? J

GDM.- Ay, que tonta, ji-ji-ji ¿???

LRS.- A l o granuja ¡!!!

GDM.- Ay, mi amor, solo quiero que me confirmes si vas a firmar para filmar La Película ¿???

LRS.- Esta seburro de que la yoselin es la invitada ¿??? J

GDM.- Yesolin, ji-ji-ji ¡!!!

LRS.- Y cual es La Trauma de La Película ¿??? J

GDM.- Es La historia de un hombre que esta muy guapo y como es tan irresistible todas Las Cortesanas, Las Princesas y Las Reinas le avientan Las Pantaletas y como se las revienta a todas se comienza a méter en muchos problemas ¿???

LRS.- Y quien será mi galón ¿???

GDM.- El Richard Chamberlain ¡!!!

LRS.- Y como dices que se llama La Burricula ¿???

GDM.- La Insaciable ¡!!!

LRS.- Y que no te estas dando cuenta que te estás fusilando al Casanova ¿???

GDM.- me vale madres porque con dos o tres truquitos ya no es la misma

LRS.- haces exactamente lo que todos los productores de peliculas

GDM.- No es cierto porque yo la escribí ¿???

LRS.- Pero en bases con El Script de El Casanova ¿???

GDM.- Pero si ya le cambie todo El Titulo y todos Los Nombres ¿???

LRS.- y puta madre, es como si agarrara El Titanic y le cambiara el nombre a La Rose DeWitt Bukater ( fea ) por el de La Rafferty Shenzac ( mamacita ) y el de El Jack Dawson ( papasito ) por el de El Richard Chamberlain ( mi viejo )

GDM.- pero giraditos

LRS.- Pero que Rateros y tan Plagiarios son en La Black And White Records ¿???

GDM.- no es cierto nomas tantito

LRS.- si no te estoy diciendo que te gusta la verga

GDM.- Ay, chulis, haces que me soborne ¿???

LRS.- ya no sabes ni lo que dices

GDM.- ‘tons

LRS.- Entonces me mandan llamar a mi picador El Richard Chamberlain y no porque yo sea toda una histriónica ¿???

GDM.- En parte ¡!!!

LRS.- Como que en parte y porque mejor no me lo cambian porque todo El Día me esta coje, coje y coje en El Petate ¿???

GDM.- Porque en donde vamos a encontrar a otra ricura como elias ¿???

LRS.- En eso te cabe toda La Razón, lalup ¡!!!

GDM.- Y si te mandamos llamar es porque a ti te queda El Papel perfectamente ¿???

LRS.- A ‘ta gueno, pero eso le has de decir a todas ¿???

GDM.- Y en lo que La Black And White Records se encarga de contratar directamente a tu de chambelan yo lo hago contigo, primor ¿???

LRS.- Ya me esta oliendo a pescado descompuesto ¿???

GDM.- Que no te bañaste, chulis ¿???

LRS.- No te pases de mamut ¡!!!

GDM.- Ton’s que, te gustaría hacer El Papel de La Prostituta ¿???

LRS.- Pero si ese papel lo hago diariamente, necesito uno diferente ¿???

GDM.- No ¡!!!

LRS. – Y aflojar La Tortuga es mi especialidad ¡!!!

GDM.- Y te la comes toda ¿???

LRS.- Riendo ¡!!!

GDM.- Entonces La Escena de La Cama te va a quedar como anillo al dedo ¿???

LRS.- el anillo lo tengo y ya solo me falta el dedo

GDM.- te lo van a reventar seis veces por escena

LRS.- Y por cierto de a cómo va a ser El Cañonazo para que pare la nalguita ¿???

GDM.- Se te va a pagar con cheques en blanco ¡!!!

LRS.- ni que fuera kotex

GDM.- y que te parece una manita

LRS.- que sea un cien pies

GDM.- un diente

LRS.- un o chito

GDM.- un cuarentón

LRS.- un toleco y lo tomas o lo dejas

GDM.- sale y vale

LRS.- Now you’re talking y cuando lo comen sapos ¿???

GDM.- Para la marrana del domingo ¡!!!

LRS.- Pero es que ese día es El Día de Los dioses Huevones ¿???

GDM.- y de cuando acá muy escapularía

LRS.- pero es que todos los apostatas toman de la tribia solo lo que les conviene

GDM.- Se ve que nunca trabajas, chulita ¿???

LRS.- Hay que respetar El Séptimo Día ¡!!!

GDM.- Pero es que tu respetas toda La Semana ¿??

LRS.- Con todo El Mes por eso no puedo ¿??? J

GDM.- Entonces que sea para El Lunes ¿???

LRS.- El Lunis ¡!!!

Entonces se comenzaron hacer todos Los Preparativos Respectivos para filmar La Película jamás contada porque nadie la iba a ir a ver y cuando todo estuvo listo se llamaron a todos Los Artistas a escena.

Entonces ya vemos en La Recamara Nupcial de El Rey todos sus aditamentos colocados del estilo rustico campirano, pero como El Rey brillaba por su ausencia porque siempre se la iba pasando de jornada a guerra por Las Comarcas de Venice El infra Casanova se aprovechaba para reventarse a La Reyna Diarina.

Y vemos como El vulgar Muchacho de La Pizarra comenzaba a dar La Primera advertencia de La Filmación, en lo que María sentada en su silla de director daba Los gritos Clásicos que se hacen en La Filmación de una película.

EVM.- Escena 1450, 1450 mil cuatrocientos cincuentaaaaaa, cien pesos, cien pesos ¡!!!

GDM.- Listo ¿??? Cámara ¿??? Acción ¡!!!

Y se ve como El infra Casanova conchudamente sentado en La Cama leyendo el periódico de la prensa y llamando a su amada.

ERC.- Ha! Y no ser ciertos Ángeles Leonor que en esta apretadas zorrillas mais puras las lunas brillas y respirar puro smog ¿???

Entonces La Rosalinda Sánchez se va acercando lentamente a él, moviéndose como viborita y más sensualmente por La Borrachera que se traía.

LRS.- que me vas hacer ¿???

Entonces El Richard Chamberlain le puso una cojidota de aquellas que quedo todo guango.

GDM.- Corten ¡!!!

LRS.- Que se refifa ¡!!!

LRS.- Que se refifa ¡!!!

Pero tuvieron que esperar hasta La Tarde para que El Pichard se recuperara porque como se podía repetir semejante escena seis veces seguidas si no se puede y entonces…

GDM.- Listo ¿??? Cámara ¿??? Acción ¡!!!

ERC.- Arrancar Leonoras y dejar que amaneceres arrastrar por deseos de los amores ¿???

LRS.- Y que me vas hacer ¿???

Y otra vez El Pichard le echa otro garrotazo de primera.

GDM.- Corten ¡!!!

LRS.- Que se refifa ¡!!!

LRS.- Que se refifa ¡!!!

Y ya por La media Noche.

GDM.- Listo ¿??? Camara ¿??? Acción ¡!!!

ERC.- Dejar venir cono toros prostitutas porque para el tunaias tener que gozar como reinas de los missisipiss ¿???

LRS.- Pero dar cuenta viejas ¿???

Y otro buen palo para La Rafferty.

GDM.- Corten ¡!!!

Y así se la fueron llevando por un par de semanas, pero llego El Momento de La Verdad para que El gran Picher reventara como mazorca en micro ondas.

GDM.- Listo ¿??? Cámara ¿??? Acción ¡!!!

ERC.- A lejos de abruptas serranías encontrarse mexicanos regimientos ¿???

LRS.- Vas que chutas ¡!!!

Pero antes de que terminara El Pichardo de echarle el ultimo palenque a La Rafferty el galon se comenzó a convulsionar como lombriz en sal salada ( babosos ) porque no le aguanto La Presión de estarse desgastando de esa manera tan tonta y tan irracional y mandaron llamar a La Ambulancia para que se lo llevara al hospital.

GDM.- Que barbará, ya te lo echaste ¿???

LRS.- Y me echare a muchos mas ¿???

Y entonces apareció en escena El Naco Jasso.

Y comenzó a entonar El Himno Nacional De La Tierra de Las Liebres y Los Bravos de Atlanta.

Y todo El Publico ahí asistente saco sus pañuelos blancos para que La Rafferty Shenzac ella sola se llevara La Corrida de la tarde cortándole al Richard Chamberlain Las Orejas, El Rabo y Los Huevos.

 FIN

[elfodelinfierrno]

Yo quiero llamarla María Lilith y me dijeron que estoy pendeja 🥺

Se va a llamar Maria Gabriela no se que es peor que eso.