#maria caravalla

[shitlinguistssay]

The RWBY save-the-world squad in order of who would be best at punching Jacques Schnee

So my biggest hope for Volume 7 is for Jacques Schnee to get punched in the face. But I couldn’t decide who I wanted to do it. So here is a list of all the character en route to Atlas in order of who would be best at punching the snot out of Weiss’s dad, ranked by effectiveness, physical skill, and general hatred of Weiss’s dad.

10. Oscar

Oscar is very small, and he has no money; so you can understand what kind of pressure he’s under. He has no fighting capabilities of his own unless Ozpin makes another appearance. But he also probably has a lot of repressed rage by this point, since he never wanted to be a part of this since the beginning, and he’s probably a better fighter than Jacques.

9. Ren

Ren is very calm and level-headed normally, so you know that if he ever is actually pissed off, he will go apeshit. And Ren cares very much about his friends. Jacques will never even see it coming because Ren’s so damn quiet.

8. Qrow

Just really, really likes messing with Schnees. 

7. Jaune

Jaune “So you know how I’m full of rage?” Arc has already explicitly said he would die for his friends. He doesn’t know about the family dynamics of the Schnee family yet, but when he does it will be a sight to behold. Also, he’s Pyhrra-trained, so he can probably throw a good punch by now.

6. Weiss herself

I think it would be good on a personal level for Weiss to hit him herself, as it would show her that he has no power over her anymore. However, sometimes you just want other people to stand up for you, and I really want Weiss to see that someone/everyone else cares about her enough to beat up her shitbag dad.

5. Nora

Nora has a hammer and absolutely no hesitation. She would go straight for his kneecaps and it would be glorious.

4. Maria

Maria has no stake in this and isn’t particularly attached to any of the SQAD besides Ruby as far as I can tell. Maria is however 100% ready to throw down at all times. She’s been ready to hit Qrow since day 1; she’s going to take one look at Jacques’ smug politician face and punch him so hard his mustache ends up on the other side of his face. Nora will help go for his knees so that she can reach. (Bonus points for teamwork)

3. Ruby

Ruby is Weiss’s teammate. They’re obviously best friends, and Ruby would not hesitate to end anyone who hurts her friends. She’s not very good at hand-to-hand yet, but she’s improving and besides that, what she lacks in technical skills she will most certainly be able to make up for in enthusiasm. And the propulsion from her Semblance wouldn’t hurt any (well, it would actually hurt very much, but that would be the point, so). 

2. Blake

Blake’s probably wanted to punch Jacques Schnee since she was like 12. There’s the obvious Adam Tauros’s face being fucking branded, even if she’s not with him anymore that was a fucked up thing to have happen to anyone, I feel like it was heavily implied that Ilia’s parents died in a mining accident at the SDC, or at the very least they worked there in the shitty working conditions that Blake first mentioned in episode TWO. Also, I like to headcanon that Blake has retractable claws so bonus points for pain.

1. Yang

I’ve thought long and hard on this subject, and I feel strongly that Yang would be the best candidate to knock the hell out of Jacques Schnee. For a start, everyone else is trained with a mid/long-range weapon, and she’s just like “I’m gonna punch every single Grimm with my bare hands”. Her weapon is essentially a pair of even more deadly brass knuckles. So she has the most experience punching. She has her own shitty parent issues that she needs to punch out on the nearest candidate, and Jacques is such an easier target than Raven. Yang also has overprotective older sibling genes and will obliterate anyone who hurts her family, blood-related or otherwise.

Also she now has a metal arm, so it would hurt twice as much. Hands down (pun intended), Yang would be the best candidate for punching Jacques Schnee in the face.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.