#manuscript critique

[juliangreystoke]

In case you missed it, I am now open for developmental critiques! But what's that about? https://fiverr.com/share/Yx01bl

[amithaknight]

PLEASE check out the We Need Diverse Books holiday auction (closes tomorrow, 12/12 at 9pm EST) , which will also support their Books Save Lives campaign. There are tons of great manuscript and query critiques still up for grabs (including a query critique from yours truly)!

[uncleardyn]

man i love that character. you know, the deeply paranoid author who made a pact with a dark entity that ultimately ended with him stranded in another dimension separated from his loved ones for years at a time? takes place in the pacific northwest? has twin imagery associated with him and a reoccurring specific piece of symbology related to the unfortunate situation they're in? doesn't ever explain the reasoning behind his actions and instead just kinda goes "bro trust me"? yeah he also wears an outer layer of clothing with elbow pads on it, that one.

[davidmariottecomics]

The Perfect (Editorial or Agent) Match

Hey there, Yogi Bear! 

To start out today's blog, I wanna talk about a kinda fun recent thing. Steve Lieber, who I've mentioned before for having his 12 point portfolio review critique without even looking, asked about the writing review equivalent. Jim Zub took a stab at it and his list is pretty good. And Chip Zdarsky's were also recommendations! And all of these are from Bluesky, so hope you can read 'em all! But, while I liked the other lists, I also had some thoughts. So my 12 critiques are here, which I consider pretty supplemental to Jim's! 

And now that you've taken all this advice and are feeling really comfortable with your script, writer-type, what're you gonna do with it?! 

What Does an Agent do? 

Before I get too far, let me make explicitly clear--I do not have an agent. I've worked with a number of agents. I know lots of creators who have them. But I don't have one myself, so I can only provide so much guidance. Okay, that disclaimer out of the way, what is a literary agent and what do they do? 

It's a lot like other forms of agents you might've heard of. Your agent is a person who supports you and represents your interests in business. They are an advocate on your behalf. This means everything from reading your manuscripts to help refine/sell them to reviewing paperwork for you to making sure you're getting paid what you're worth and more. In the book market, there are certain publishers that will almost exclusively review agented submissions--you need to have someone who has been trained to know what the publisher might want and who has access to contacts there to advocate for your work. The reason for this is often to cut down on submissions that otherwise just have to go unanswered and to preserve some level of privacy for editors. Having an agent might not work for everyone, but if you can find someone who you like working with and can afford, they're going to be a lot of help. Agents can get your work to more potential buyers, help identify where your work will best fit in the marketplace, and, again, generally advocate for you.

But just like publishers and editors, not every agent is looking for every type of story. Specific agents, and even whole agencies, can have niches that they are interested in working in and representing. This is really important when we're talking comics. There are some agents that don't really represent cartoonists because they don't do art representation. There are some agents who only do art representation and might not be the right fit if you also wanna write. There are agents who primarily focus on books for middle grade or young adult readers. There are agents who just plain don't do comics. So how do you find an agent who might be a good fit?

Manuscript Wishlist

Manuscript Wishlist (or MS Wishlist) is *an* option for finding your agent, but it's one that I think can be really helpful. The basic idea of MSWL is that the website version has vetted agents and editors who have submitted profiles explaining what they are looking for in submissions. It's built off of a Twitter system where agents and editors tag posts #MSWL to flag the sort of work they're looking for from writers. One of the things I really like about the site is that in addition to details on what the agents and editors are looking for, and how to go about querying them, a lot of folks also take advantage of the sidebars that include things like lists of "what I like" so you can get an even clearer idea of if your work will mesh well with their interests and if your personalities will mesh well while looking to work together. 

There are a ton of other resources out there for how to write good queries and each agency/agent/publisher/editor is going to have their own submission guidelines that you'll have to look up and follow--so I won't get into those--but this is a way to start seeing who might be interested in building a relationship with you. 

Also, keep an eye on Publishers Marketplace. This is a primary source for what publishing deals are happening. Maybe you want to submit a query to an agent about a talking dog. Might be good to check publishers marketplace to make sure that agent didn't just sell a book about a talking dog. 

MSWL Editors

MSWL also includes editors and for similar reasons. Editors have things they're interested in working on and it helps clarify to agents and to unagented folks what sort of titles they might be interested in acquiring. I *do not* currently have a MSWL set up on my own because I am not currently seeking submissions (sorry), but next time I think I might be, I'm going to be looking into it because I know what sort of stories I like to tell and what I would like to see from other folks. 

Obviously, if you don't have an agent, double-check that the editor you're submitting to accepts unagented submissions. That's hugely important. But especially in comics, only taking agented submissions is uncommon. And if an editor is making clear what they'd like to acquire, you wanna get it in front of them because that is the most direct pipeline to traditional comics publishing. But it's also worthwhile to remember that because of how agents and editors work together, there's a lot of outreach between the two where editors are searching for talent, but only want to reach out, not be reached out to--especially if you're looking to do work on an existing property, rather than an original. 

Now I'm gonna go batten down the hatches and prepare to ride out the rest of the coming storm! 

See ya next time! 

What I enjoyed this week: Blank Check (Podcast), Dungeons & Daddies (Podcast), Craig of the Creek (Cartoon), Honkai Star Rail (Video game), My Adventures with Superman (Cartoon), The Broken Room by Peter Clines (Book), Crime Scene Kitchen (TV show), Dumbing of Age (Webcomic), Shortpacked (Webcomic--though some of these pop culture strips sure are dated and/or in poor taste!), Solve This Murder (Podcast), Praise Petey (Cartoon), the acoustic Sonic Symphony performance at the Speed Cafe (see below), at time of posting having power and not a lot of rain/hurricane weather, owning (but not having watched yet) the Venture Bros finale movie, getting 3 5-star (the best possible) character pulls in a row in Honkai (but not the character I really wanted, who I only have like 9 days to get now if I can...). 

New Releases this week (8/16/2023): Brynmore #2 (Editor) Godzilla: The War for Humanity #1 (Editor) Sonic the Hedgehog #63 (Editor)

Final Order Cut-Off next week (8/21/2023--last day to get your preorders in): Brynmore #3 (Editor) Godzilla: The War for Humanity #2 (Editor) Sonic the Hedgehog: Amy's 30th Anniversary Special (Editor)

New Releases next week (8/23/2023): Godzilla Monsters & Protectors: All Hail the King TPB (Editor--on the latter half)

Announcements: Becca is at Cartoon-a Palooza in Temecula on 9/15 & 9/16. It's a cool free all-ages little con, so come on out and see them! 

Wanna support me? Consider joining my Patreon! This week, in addition to this blog (but without the Patreon plugs!) and one of my legacy blogs, I shared for the $10 and up members the script (and some extras) for my Beast Wars 2022 Annual story, "Rhinox's A-Maze-ing Adventure". You can only see it there! And I'll have more scripts, pitches, comics, etc going up in the weeks and months to come! Also coming soon, just coordinating with Becca, we'll be releasing a tease of a new comic we're working on together. It'll be on both our Patreons, but if you like art and adult art in particular, definitely don't miss Becca's either! 

Or, you can buy something from my webstore! A lot of what is there is no longer in print and won't be going back to print anytime soon to my knowledge. The stock I have up is pretty much the stock I have. And you can get it signed and personalized and sent to you for a pretty reasonable price which includes shipping.  Alternatively, I still have a few things up on eBay and I'm going to be adding a few more! 

Sorry to be hyping ways to send me money so much recently, but between rising rent and utility and gas costs, not so rising work hours/pay for Becca and I, and us also trying to plan a wedding for a year from now, money's been tight a lot! I know that's the case all around, and if you have been supporting me in any way, it has not gone unnoticed at all! This week, Becca and I checked out a venue that we really like for the ceremony and reception. So, hoping we can make that happen! 

Pic of the Week: I referenced it earlier, but the Sonic Speed Cafe pop-up here in San Diego did a special mini acoustic performance of the Sonic Symphony that's about to be touring the whole world! So we had three musicians in the restaurant playing some Sonic hits! It was a lot of fun! 

[astramachina]

wait hold on. "it resembled a bad photoshop job" you're telling me we're still using photoshop 300 years from now?????

[chantireviews]

The Art of Critique from the Desk of David Beaumier

Understanding Peer Review and Feedback A Crucial Critique Skill for Authors Oftentimes when someone joins a critique group, it’s not because they’re in dire need of a free proofreader. They are looking to learn if their writing is any good, as Kiffer Brown says “Does it have a beat? Can you dance to it?” If you’d like to start your self-editing journey first, you can start here! Plus we have a…

[lnk-and-lnspiration]

The Value of Beta Readers: How to Find Them and Incorporate Their Feedback

Beta readers play a vital role in the writing process, offering valuable feedback and insights that can significantly enhance the quality of your work. These trusted individuals provide a fresh perspective, catching errors, identifying areas of improvement, and helping you polish your manuscript before it reaches a wider audience. In this article, we will explore the value of beta readers,…

[nicholasandriani]

Script Consulting, Book Doctor, Story Wizard

YOUR VISION, YOUR VOICE, YOUR VALUE Fiction Worlds | RPG Adventures Twitter Patreon GitHub LinkedIn YouTube On vacation: Ghostwriting for a AAA Studio. I live for this stuff!!! Fiction Worlds | RPG AdventuresCreative storytellers and world-builders welcome Creating immersive and captivating worlds and characters is a dream for many writers and game developers.But did you know?∞ The vast…

[madlovenovelist]

The Developmental Edit

What is it and why every writer needs to do one. When most people think about editing, they assume it’s all about spelling and grammar… well, there is a type of edit that becomes way before that: the developmental edit. Sometimes called a structural edit. Here I’m going to discuss the typical things that you look at with a developmental edit for novels and novellas. It’s all about big picture…

[wormtoxin]

ok. Narrative obfuscation in House Of Leaves. It’s a relatively simple story about a man who moves into a house with his wife and kids, and the house is haunted. That’s it. The core themes are very transparent.

Except, that story is documented by a famous war documentarian, then published as a series of rare tapes, which are discoursed by film buffs, then interpreted from viewings and reading film critique by a blind old man, then his thoughts are transcribed into a manuscript by a series of young women, which is then compiled from scattered notes by the most mysoginistic, damaged, toxic pothead drop-out who won’t stop talking about his life, which is THEN edited and published by some vaguely nefarious agency who soberly refuse to provide any clarification or context.

It’s not simple, but there are so many different hands on the wheel with wildly differing opinions that you can’t discern the truth.

Johnny Truant is such a miserable hopeless fuck up. He has no sense of academic rigor or archival professionalism. Any interference he provides only muddies the waters and taints what would otherwise be a gripping piece of metaphysical film criticism. His neurotic rambling and personal anecdotes cloud an otherwise reasonable story.

If he wasn’t in it, if we could read Zampano’s manuscript directly, WE would be able to understand the truth. We would get it completely, and we wouldn’t have to encounter so much violence, so much miserable graphic detail. It would be a better story.

And fuck it, if we didn’t have to read all of Zampano’s tangents and analyses and interpretations, if we could just find a copy of the famous “five-and-a-half minute hallway” vhs, if we could SEE it, we’d understand. We wouldn’t need endless pontification of what Navidson and Karen’s marriage might entail, or recitations of what a director once said in a Rolling Stones article. We’d see the hallway itself, stretching out into what should be the backyard, and we’d get it. Hell, Zampano is blind in his old age. He can’t even watch the damn movie! But we could. We’d know instantly, the second we saw it. The impossibility of it, the gravity of it, the weight of that dark abyss.

And well, the VHS recording is a little dark, and the quality is poor, and maybe the white balance isn’t so perfect. And actually, VHs tapes could be manipulated. We can’t be sure that Navidson isn’t just using clever videography tricks to invent a hallway. If we were there, if we found the house (it’s in virginia, isn’t it? we even have the address). If we GO there, we could look down that hallway. And it’s dark, so if we just brought a flashlight, maybe took a few steps inside-

[deception-united]

Let's talk about writing fantasy.

Fantasy is one of my favourite genres, to read and to write. But the worldbuilding required and the existing tropes can make it difficult to craft a unique, compelling novel. There are a number of less-discussed nuances that might not always be at the forefront of writing discussions. Here are some tips to help you out:

Ground it in reality: Even though fantasy allows for boundless imagination, grounding your world in elements familiar to readers can make it more relatable and believable. Making it too otherworldly can make it difficult to understand or follow, and will likely make it much more difficult to interweave the explanation of your world and its society into the text seamlessly.

Consistency: Fantasy worlds can be complex, with their own rules, magic systems, and histories. Ensure consistency in your worldbuilding, avoiding contradictions or sudden changes without explanation. I find it helpful to keep a world bible or notes to track details and maintain coherence throughout the story.

Character-driven plots: While epic battles and magical quests are exciting, don't forget that compelling characters drive the heart of any story. Develop multi-dimensional characters with strengths, weaknesses, and personal arcs that resonate with readers (see my post on character development for more).

Avoid clichés and stereotypes: Fantasy often draws from familiar tropes and archetypes, but try not to rely on them too heavily. Subvert expectations and breathe new life into old conventions by adding unique twists or exploring lesser-known mythologies and cultures. Make it your own!

Magic has consequences: Magic adds wonder to fantasy worlds, but it should also have limitations and consequences. Consider the societal, environmental, and personal impacts of magic on your world and characters. A well-defined magic system can enhance the depth and realism of your story.

Worldbuilding through storytelling: Instead of dumping large chunks of exposition, reveal your fantasy world gradually through character interactions, dialogue, and plot progression. Show, don't tell, and let readers piece together the intricacies of your world as they journey through your story (check out my previous post on worldbuilding for more tips).

Embrace diversity: Fantasy worlds should reflect the diversity of our own world. Include characters from various backgrounds, cultures, and identities, and explore themes of inclusivity and acceptance within your narrative.

Conflict beyond good vs. evil: While the battle between good and evil is a classic fantasy trope, consider adding layers of moral ambiguity and complexity to your conflicts. Explore themes of power, redemption, and the consequences of choices made in the face of adversity.

Research is essential: Even in a world of imagination, research plays a crucial role in grounding your story in reality. Whether it's drawing inspiration from historical events, cultural practices, or scientific principles, thorough research can enrich your worldbuilding and add depth to your narrative. Even fantasy worlds and elements require some sort of basis to make them more believable.

Revise: Like any genre, writing fantasy requires extensive revision and polishing. Be prepared to revise your manuscript multiple times, seeking feedback from beta readers or critique partners to strengthen your story, characters, and worldbuilding.

Happy writing!

Previous | Next

[nicosraf]

Wait what did Freydis Moon do? :( I've read their books and really liked them, but I don't follow them anywhere online, so that last ask you got worried me

Freydis Moon has been exposed to be Taylor Barton, a white person from the state of Oregon, someone who had a history of faking their race, being racist, and general abusive behavior. You can read more here about this Taylor person here, and you can find an incredibly long thread here.

Freydis was a colleague of mine, and they took me under their wing when I entered the indie book scene. They presented themselves as a Latine, mystic, queer trans author — who was older than me, I should add — so I deeply admired them and confided in them. I don't think ABM would have ever gotten much attention if I hadn't received their guidance.

There had been some whispers that Freydis was really Taylor, but I'd seen Frey's seemingly darker-skinned hands and heard their real name, which was supposedly Daniela.

Two things I should say before the big reveal: Freydis briefly hired a publicist named Cordi, who was also an agent with their own agency, named The Lynne Agency. Cordi, very randomly, decided to leave the industry and left their clients, and Freydis, hanging. Someone else to mention is Saint Harlow, an author of gay, cannibal erotica. On twitter, Saint was known for peddling a lot of drama — sometimes, he was on the good side of things and sometimes the bad, but he tended to be a massive bully. Freydis allegedly comforted some of Saint's victims.

And the reveal:

Freydis is the race faker Taylor Barton. The evidence is substantial, but most notably, some of the files they shared with other authors, including me, had metadata with the names of Taylor Barton's other identities. I was able to check the files myself to confirm.

They were also Saint Harlow. Meaning Freydis was bullying people secretly on one account and comforting them on another. And the bullying was a lot more disgusting than you might think, but for the sake of the victim, I won't share details.

They were also the publicist/agent Cordi. Why did they pretend to be an agent at all? I'm not sure but they wasted a lot of authors' times, that's for sure. Were they just looking to plagiarize off manuscripts sent to them? Who knows. (A friend of mine who sent their manuscript to them fears so).

There were a lot of interactions between Taylor and I that are much much weirder in retrospect. They critiqued the industry use of #ownvoices, which I agreed about, but blew the issue out of proportion, like thinking #ownvoices gay-trans author book lists shouldn't exist because of potential outing, mlm books by mlm authors lists shouldn't exist because of potential outing, and that lists of books by people of color about people of color also shouldn't exist because... potential outing? Taylor was, to me, oddly sympathetic toward certain authors accused of racism and shot down my concerns of a certain book with what I felt to be pro-colonizer themes inconsistently — their response to racism seemed to depend on whether they already disliked a person or not.

I could say a lot more but as someone who spoke to Taylor in private at times, there were a lot of things I was unsure about even when I was on their side of things. To some people, apparently, Freydis had said they were part Mexican, but only ever told me they were Peruvian (they might've known I'd clock them as a faker). Regardless, when this all came to light, their response was shockingly dismissive.

This may be more info than you asked for but TLDR:

Freydis Moon faked their race and ethnicity, bullied and manipulated many readers and authors using various fake identities, took advantage of latine author resources, and so on.

[rayjideguia]

Editing and Workshop Services

I am offering editing and workshop services to fund my graduate school application and other needs. My USD rates are higher to take into account Paypal conversion, transfer fees, and value difference. Here are the editing services I offer:

Poetry Workshop: Critique and feedback on the craft of your poetry, focusing on the poetic line, sound, metaphor, and structure. This entails a line-by-line annotation and a discussion session via Zoom. 

At least ₱4,000 / $90 for up to three (3) poems, one page each poem. Turnaround is two (2) weeks unless otherwise stated. Add-on service of ₱1,000 / $30 if you wish to turn the video discussion into written commentary.

Sensitivity Reading: Critique and feedback regarding sensitive content in the manuscript. This entails a file with organized comments and suggestions and the live commentary of the first read and, if necessary, a discussion session, either through chat or video.

At least ₱4,000 / $90 per short form fiction (up to 5,000 words). Optional add-on service of ₱2,000 / $55 should formal critique become necessary. Turnaround is two (2) weeks unless otherwise stated.

Full Editing: Critique and feedback on the form, structure, and content of the manuscript. This entails a file with organized comments and suggestions and the live commentary of the first read, the trackchanged file of the manuscript, and, if necessary, a discussion session, either through chat or video.

At least ₱7,000 / $160 per short form fiction (up to 5,000 words). Turnaround is two (2) weeks unless otherwise stated.

Payment: 50% must be paid upfront before I begin. The rest will be paid after I have delivered my comments.

If interested, please get in touch with me via message.

Credentials

I've had roughly ten years of experience in critiquing fiction, poetry, and writing in general: I was an instructor at the University of the Philippines Diliman, where I handled courses on writing, for two years; from 2014 to 2016, I was the workshop committee head of UP Writers Club; aside from having taken up workshop classes in UP Diliman, I was also a fellow for fiction in the 1st IWP Alumni Writers Workshop, 2nd Amelia Lapeña-Bonifacio Writers Workshop, 2nd GlobalGRACE-UP National LGBTQ Writers Workshop, and the 2021 Bread Loaf Writers' Conference.; and I was workshop panelist for the 2022 Malate Writers’ Workshop and 2023 Cordillera Creative Writing Workshop. I've also received prizes from the 2nd Gémino H. Abad Awards for Poetry and for Literary Criticism and the 69th Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature

[writing-with-sophia]

Writing a novel: Step by step

Most writers aspire to publish at least one book in their lifetime, but writing a novel is not easy. From new writers to experienced writers who have published hundreds of books, everyone must follow a step-by-step process to create their work. These steps are based on the wisdom of famous writers, so while they may not be entirely definitive, they will certainly be helpful to you.

Step 1: Generate ideas

Start by generating ideas for your novel. This can involve brainstorming, keeping a journal of potential story concepts, or drawing inspiration from real-life experiences, books, movies, or current events.

Once you get an idea, hone it.

Step 2: Create characters

A novel cannot be successful without unique and charming characters. Create compelling and well-rounded characters for your novel. Develop their backgrounds, motivations, personalities, and relationships. Consider their strengths, flaws, and how they will evolve throughout the story.

Remember, the more realistic the characters, the better the novel will be.

Step 3: Build setting

Establish the setting or world in which your novel takes place. Whether it's a real location or a fictional world, provide enough descriptive details to immerse readers and make the setting feel vivid and believable.

Step 4: Define plot and make an outline

What is your story about? How will it unfold? How does it begin, develop, and conclude? What and how many scenes will be included? Make an depth and very depth outline, even going so far as to outline every chapter.

Step 5: Write

Begin writing your first draft. Don't worry about perfection; the goal is to get the story down on paper. Embrace the creative process and let the ideas flow. Please remember, don't go back and make changes. Just write!

Step 6: Revise and edit

Once the first draft is complete, take a break (for 3 days) before revising and editing. (This will keep you from overediting or not editing enough.) Then, read through your manuscript with a critical eye, focusing on plot holes, inconsistencies, pacing, character development, and overall storytelling. Revise and rewrite sections as needed.

Step 7: Get beta readers

(You must) seek feedback from trusted individuals, such as beta readers, writing critique groups or your friends. Their input can provide valuable perspectives on areas that may need improvement. Consider their suggestions while maintaining your unique voice and vision for the story.

Step 8: Polish and refine

Polish and refine your novel based on the feedback received. Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, punctuation, and overall prose. Ensure clarity and coherence in your writing.

Step 9: Publish

You can research different publishing options, such as traditional publishing or self-publishing. Remember to evaluate the pros and cons of each approach and decide which is the best fit for your goals and circumstances.

That's all. I hope you success in publishing your novel!!

If you want to read more posts about writing, please click here and give me a follow!

[tarysande]

About a year ago, I did a manuscript critique for a client who’d written her first book. Like. Ever. And normally, as most editors and writers will tell you, first books suck. You’re still practicing.

But this book did not suck! It needed some work, but it decidedly didn’t suck.

Anyway, cue a year later, and the client came back to me because she’s done a lot of work and is thinking of self-publishing, and could I please line edit it for her.

And she did do a lot of work! I can tell! It still needs a little bit more, mostly just tightening here and there, and a few places where I think she needs to add or subtract, but I’m just enjoying it SO MUCH.

(I also think I finally came up with a GOOD SOLUTION to a plot issue that had been haunting us for a year, so. I feel good about that.)

Like, I will return with links and beg you all to buy it if she does self-publish because I just really, really believe in it. It’s got a whole Mass Effect/Firefly science fiction with a side of romance vibe that I love.

And these are the days I really love my job. Because it’s inspiring me as much as I hope I’m helping her, and that’s just… that’s just what it’s all about.