#mangoestho

[bonespugsnharmony]

That post just triggered something...(DONT REBLOG)

So years ago, before I actually had a blog on tumblr, I used to just browse on a few blogs I liked. One of my faves was the tumblr user, mangoestho, and I frequented her blog almost every day. So anyways, a few years ago my grandmother became very ill. I was very close with her so this hit me pretty hard. It was so sad to see her look so sickly and since we knew her time was coming to an end, I realized that it’s for the best and that she wouldn’t have to deal with this pain anymore. This soothed me and all I could do was say goodbye and being a homegrown negro, I asked her to somehow give me a sign that she was still there after she passed.

Fast forward a few weeks after her passing, I was going through a really hard time and was thinking about how much I missed my grandmother. I was scrolling through mangoestho’s blog and scrolled past this black and white picture. At first I didn’t pay it any mind but for some reason I felt the need to scroll back up and see what it was. When I scrolled up, I saw this picture and thought that this woman reminded me of someone but I wasn’t sure if it was who I thought.....when I went back to mangoestho’s blog to find the picture again, I realized that she had suddenly deleted her blog (thank god I saved the pic) so I looked the picture up on google and saw that this photo was taken by the photographer, Bruce Davidson, on East 100th street in Harlem, and was labeled, “pregnant woman in vacant lot”. I began to shake and immediately showed the picture to my father and grandfather. They both sat there, open-mouthed, as they realized that the woman in this picture was my grandmother. My grandpas stared, tears coming down his face, and said “yup, that’s nay. I always hated that ugly haircut😂” and not only that, I realized that this picture was taken the year my father was born, and this was actually a picture of her pregnant with him. It was a bittersweet moment that I’ll never forget. So just know that whenever you’re feeling alone, your ancestors are there watching over you and they WILL make it known somehow.

[pyotra]

I'm too shy to say this off anon but something really fucked up happened to me two years ago and I was really disassociated and just never got off my bed or the internet but looking at you and mangoestho's blog and writing really brought me out of it. It feels weird to say because it's just tumblr but it sucks that she deleted and I'm grateful for u both

omg!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ im so happy to hear you're in a better place now , and that all of this helped you out !! And yes please, if you ever feel comfortable enough, or less shy about it, talk to me off anonymous 💕💕 (tho my inbox is always open!!!)

[asoftenderlove]

sagal...warmhoneybee...mangoestho....flstni...when will I join my iconic faves in deleting....

[inbetweenlove]

What is your instagram? Also did u know mangoestho? What happened to her page? 💕

hanariaz 

[snorttheperfume]

hey i am doing a project on queer black feminist writers and @mangoestho posted a soundcloud clip of a 1991 anti war rally in oakland where june jordan spoke, and the clip doesn’t work/is missing if you see this could you please get at me with that clip????

[pyotra]

hey i remember following you and mangoestho a while back, and i deleted and remade again. anyways i came to ask what ever happened to miss mekha / mangoestho?? both of y'all were my favorite blogs and had meaningful content. also i hope you're doing good and she is too.

aww im not really aware of what happened but thank you

[aloofshahbanou]

LOL, the messiest 

[asoftenderlove]

Skincare asks #'s 10-15 :)

I am soooooooo sorry I answered this so late!!!!

Favorite spf?

unfortunately, i don’t use sunscreen at the moment. i’m looking into supergoop tho!!

How often do you skip or forget to do your routine?

often. i’m supposed to to apply my eye serum and cleanser twice a day but most often i just do it once at night

When did you start to really take care of your skin?

after i saw rachel nguyen’s 10 step korean skincare video through mangoestho, soooooo around 2016?

Do you have any insecurities about your skin?

i have hyperpigmentation which i hate, but my dark under eye circles are the absolute worst!! i’m also very sensitive when i have an eczema outbreak or when i get a pimple.

Do you have any skin/skincare related pet peeves?

when the vogue girls do their routine wearing a bunch of jewlery/the girls who cake on makeup without taking care of their skin.

Favorite place to buy skincare?

kiehl’s, sokoglam

[aloofshahbanou]

you’re so good to me. all of you deserved it. (you know who you are.) I have to say though that a lot of what I did served as a distraction from truly living. I’m glad I got out of the classroom and worked and started writing about my life. feminism has to be fucked with and complicated; our lives tell us more about the inner-workings of society than anything else. 

[ahistoryofanxietyandanxietyand]

It’s Sure A Heavy Thing

She is not dead yet;

still wrapped in some girlhood 

leftover from afternoons and afternoons.

It is a burning, the restlessness of a black 

child unborn.

She was grown before her time,

no target.

The bone is growing inside of her curled up body;

an etching; a lie.

Chess colored and sweet as molasses.

She rode her free; her body something fierce

a jumping into her own skin.

Silk made and tight mouthed.

She is not dead yet;

barely made it alive.

Still her tongue into prayer.

That she can do for hours have not yet:

an interrupted breath.

@mangoestho (I wrote you that I would write you a poem. It might be temporary because of OCD, but here it is)

[banji-effect]

mangoestho

reblogged your

post

:

OMG LET’S SQUAD UP BISH! IMMA BE THERE THIS YEAR!

*screaming* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OMG YES

[aloofshahbanou]

mangoestho I can’t believe I used to be like that! lol   I’m so glad we’ve shared so many years together :)