#managed to forget it existed for about 2 or 3 months

[luvvyouforever]

saw your post about declan x reader x rupert and i can't stop thinking about them in their slutty little venturer tshirts ugh need to be sandwiched between them while they're bickering over who can make you feel better

ughhh the slutty venturer t-shirts! just for you anon <3

challengers - declan o'hara x reader x rupert campbell-black

synopsis: rupert believes he can make you feel better. declan disagrees and thinks he can. there's only one way to find out.

content: threesome (kinda?), afab reader, no m/m, rupert's got a thing for legs, no maud au so there's no infidelity, oral sex, handjob kinda, hickeys, praise, squirting

word count: 3k oops

author's note: this fic has been sitting in the drafts for a whileeeeeee. like before season 2 was even confirmed. enjoy! (ps i haven't watched challengers i just thought the title was fitting)

you think that maybe rupert and declan have forgotten about you sandwiched between them, but perhaps there were worse places to be than leaned against a doorframe, the heady scents of their cologne filling your nose.

"i just find it interesting that every time i come to look for our dear y/n, she's always right by your side, hmm?" rupert's posh accent echoed above you, his chest puffed.

"have you thought that she just prefers my company to yours, rupert?" declan's thick accent was so different to rupert's, but they mingled so well together. you briefly wondered how long you could still there still and quiet until they acknowledge your existence again.

"considering you're tipsy half of the day, i have reason to doubt that."

you would be standing there quietly for a long time.

it was painfully obvious to everyone, not just you, that rupert and declan harboured crushes for you. it had started when freddie managed to poach you from corinium to come work for venturer instead, and small gazes as you left turned into something you weren't even sure how to handle.

"you guys do know i'm standing here still...right?" you managed to slip out between the incessant firing off of insults.

their heads turned downwards, eyes meeting your own.

"of course, doll," declan said at the same time as rupert's, "could never forget you, sweetheart." they glared at each other, then returned to their attention to you.

it was a bit overwhelming, sure, but you held firm in your resolve to attempt to solve this issue. "i thought i could just let you both fight till you came up with a solution, but the plan has not worked evidently. and a girl can only take so much lustful staring and touches on the knee before she need something."

"i'm sorry if declan's made you uncomfortable, love," rupert said slyly, hand softly grazing your upper arm.

declan immediately lost the control he was exerting and faced rupert again with a loud scoff. "i'm making her uncomfortable? if anything, you are! who'd want a man that's slept with half the countryside giving her fuck-me-eyes?"

rupert couldn't help himself. "who'd want a man that hasn't slept with anyone in months giving her fuck-me-eyes?"

"oh, i'm sure i could make her feel much better than you ever could. just cause you're easy doesn't mean you're good."

with every word spat at each other, their shoulders squared and jaws clenched. if you didn't know any better, you'd keep watching the way their t-shirts flexed against their skin, swooning at the knowledge that it was you they were fighting over. but you had to do something.

it seemed crazy the second it popped into your brain. like something from one of those erotica books lizzie wrote. but the way rupert and declan were so naturally competitive, it might be the only way to solve this before they irreparably damaged the friendship they'd been building through venturer.

first you tried to clear your throat loudly which didn't work. they continued to mumble about their respective skills. then you tried saying their names. didn't work either. finally, with a huff of pure frustration, you grabbed each of them by the collars of their t-shirts and drug them further inside declan's home, effectively shutting the door behind you with your foot.

"jesus christ, you're like toddlers," you near-shouted. "you'd think a teacher told you that you have to share the toy the way you're arguing with each other. we have to solve this one way or another." you paused for a beat, letting the two men gather their composure. declan leaned against the kitchen counter, while rupert stood with his arms crossed. "i want you to listen to every word i have to say without speaking, okay? and when i am done, you are allowed to give me a response."

you waited for them to nod and once they did, you continued speaking.

"in full honesty, i can't choose between the two of you. you're both handsome and intelligent and i've enjoyed getting to know you. but i know you can't share. that would never work with the way you both square off like gorillas in a jungle," you said. your next words needed to be chose carefully. "however, i can't make a decision without test driving. so, we can settle this like adults in declan's bedroom, or i will walk out the door and forget that i ever found the two of you attractive in the first place."

true to their word, neither of them spoke until you gestured that you were done. declan was the first to speak up. "how long have you found me attractive, huh?"

"good lord," rupert whispered to himself, though both you and declan heard it clearly. "so when you mean settle this like adults..." he trailed off, posing a question for you to respond to.

"d'ya need her to spell it out for you?" declan asked, shoving himself off the kitchen counter. he sauntered towards you and his scent flooded your senses once again. his hand came to your lower back, dipping down just enough to graze your ass. "she wants us to prove which of us is better."

you let out a soft gasp, followed by a bite of your lip when his hand lifted then came back down on your ass, more harsh than a love tap, but clearly not as rough as he'd like to go.

declan chuckled. "think i'm already ahead of you."

"jesus, get in the bedroom already," rupert said, coming up behind you and replacing declan's hand with his own, pushing you towards the stairs.

the next few moments were a blur. before you knew it, your figure was posed on the middle of declan's bed, with declan and rupert waiting patiently at the foot.

"are there rules?" rupert asked.

you thought for a second. it was an impulsive plan, one you hadn't put much thought into. you shook your head. "nope. want you both to show me just how good you are since you're talking all that game."

declan and rupert looked at each other perhaps the most amiably the whole entire evening. while it was a competition, they seemed to have a silent agreement that your world would be forever changed after this.

declan moved first, his eyes already lowered and darkened with desire. having this view of you in his bed was driving him mad, pushing him to do that much better so he could always see you sprawled on the flannel sheets that smelled like him.

"can i take this off of you, love?" he asked quietly, fingers toying with the hem of your shirt. you met his dark brown eyes and nodded, biting your lip as his hands deftly removed the fabric. you could hear the hitch in both his and rupert's breathing.

suddenly, rupert's frame was on your other side, fingers barely touching the skin on your side. "you're so beautiful," he said. though declan made the initial move, rupert took it one step further and brought his head down to offer you a sweet kiss on the lips. declan could've growled, but he knew you wanted to end the fighting. he had to just find his own way to touch you.

as rupert continued to expertly move his lips against yours, declan's own mouth met your neck and upper chest. he left hot, open-mouthed kisses on your delicate skin and you whimpered into rupert's mouth.

declan continued his ministrations as rupert pulled away and tugged off his venturer t-shirt, revealing his toned, tan body underneath. he then slid his belt from around his waist and threw it down onto declan's carpet. he took a few seconds to figure out his next plan of action and when he saw just how enamoured you were with declan's kisses, he opted for the same strategy.

rupert leaned down and started trailing his lips along your stomach, up to the edge of your bra, around the seam, then back down again. he was careful not to invade declan's space while also losing himself in the way your noises reverberated in his ears.

declan, too, rose from kneeling and took off his own shirt. you managed to open your eyes and the sight before you could've sent you reeling immediately. rupert was toned and muscular while declan was broad and, for the lack of a better word, big. in that moment, you considered yourself the luckiest girl on the planet.

your hands flew to declan as he leant back down, fingers roaming the broad expanse of his chest. desperate to have him kiss you on the lips this time, you moved your hand to his chin and tugged him towards you. he picked up the message easily and moved his lips against yours eagerly.

so far, you distinguished that declan and rupert had two distinct styles. declan was desperate and eager and ready to take you as his own. his kisses were passionate and you could tell from his touches that he was exerting a lot of restraint. rupert, on the other hand, was more calculated. his kisses started delicate, like he was teasing you, drawing you in, making you crave more. it would be a harder decision than you thought.

once he was satisfied with the trail of kisses along your body, rupert ducked down, fingers teasing the band of your pants. you looked up at you, somehow meeting your eyes past declan's head, and asked a silent question. you nodded as best as you could, then turned back to declan. as rupert's hands tugged down your pants, revealing your bare legs, your fingers tangled in declan's curls.

you had become so lost in declan's overpowering kiss that you let out a sudden gasp when rupert's mouth met your thighs. you could feel his breath against your legs, hands squeezing your flesh. you realized his weakness then as he groaned with every inch his mouth met.

eventually, you pulled away from declan, desperate for breath. he looked at you with a powerful look, one that you could hardly tear away from. you did, though, and gestured to his pants. "don't leave me alone here," you whispered. he smirked and stood to undo his belt, then tug his pants off.

as if his arousal was not already evident, the bulge barely concealed by his boxers revealed it tenfold. your eyes roamed his body and with a smirk, your hand reached out to his core. at the sudden contact, he groaned, no, growled.

you let out your own noise of surprise at rupert's hands meeting your own middle. your eyes flew to his and he met them confidently with his own smirk.

"she's so wet for us," rupert said, drawing declan's attention towards your center. both of their eyes didn't leave your face as declan's hand reached out to feel for himself.

"absolutely soaking, doll," he added.

"please," you pleaded, though you weren't sure what you were asking for.

"what do you need, love?" rupert asked sweetly. his fingers replaced declan's and they teased past the hem of your panties.

"what would you like us to show you?" declan asked. it was evil, the way they seemed to suddenly team up with the purpose of torturing you. it was as if every ounce of their fighting left once your body was available to them.

"y-your mouth, please," you squeaked out, cheeks flushed both from embarrassment and pure heat. "you first," you added, gesturing to declan.

"don't mind if i do, pretty girl," he said, moving to situate himself between your legs. rupert went to move, but he couldn't help himself but watch as declan slowly removed your panties. "fucking gorgeous."

rupert moved to your side again, one of his arms propping up his body by yours, the other snaking around and entangling his fingers in your hair. he came in close and you could smell the spearmint on his breath from the gum he chewed. "i don't think i could ever tell you enough how beautiful you are," he whispered.

had it not been for declan's mouth being dangerously close to your pussy, you would've reeled at his romantic words. you hoped that your shining eyes would convey your appreciation enough. he seemed to have gotten the message and smiled as his hands moved to wrap around your back and undo your bra.

once you were fully bare before them, rupert offered the same vulnerability, moving upwards to take his pants and boxers down.

"fuck," you choked out, both at the sight before you and at declan's tongue licking a long stripe up your core.

rupert smiled and returned to your side again. "like what you see?" he asked, fingers curling under your chin. you nodded enthusiastically, as it became difficult to form words from declan's ministrations between your legs. you couldn't do much else but reach towards rupert's body, hands exploring the muscular build of his chest and shoulders and torso and everywhere. he offered the same, soft hands teasing up your sides and breasts.

declan's mouth was beginning to draw you close to the edge. he was close to making out with your pussy, and you were positive both he and you were soaked. despite the slight burn coming from his thick mustache, your back arched from the bed ever so slightly, offering rupert more surface to explore.

everything came crashing on you all at once, though, as declan's finger slowly entered you, curling up to the spot that made you shut your eyes so tight you saw swirls of color. to add to the torture, rupert's mouth had wrapped around your nipple, tongue teasing and slow.

"fuck!" you shouted. "s-so good. so good, declan." your praise egged him on further and he added a second finger. his tongue didn't let up until your thighs squeezed around his head and you came around his fingers with barely intelligible groans of his name.

reluctantly, he pulled away, leaving your hole clenching around nothing. you were correct about him being soaked. he was a vision of pure sin, nothing else. it had to have been one of the sexiest sights you'd ever see in your life.

"think you can do better than that?" declan asked.

rupert released his mouth with a pop and smirked. "of course i can." ever the gentleman, though, he looked at you first. "ready for me now, love?"

despite your better judgement telling you to breathe first, you nodded eagerly. they switched spots then, declan moving to your side. before he got comfortable, though, he stripped off his own boxers. you whimpered. how could you have possibly gotten this lucky?

rupert situated himself between your thighs and instead of diving in immediately like declan, he teased you with his fingers first. it was torturous, but so methodical, like he wanted to play you like an instrument. for a second, you watched him with lust blown eyes, before averting your attention to declan's hard cock just before you.

you felt greedy receiving all the pleasure from the two men. you looked at declan with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster and he chuckled lightly at your pleading. he inched closer, getting comfortable at your side.

"all yours, darling," he said quietly. you bit your lip and outstretched your hand. declan groaned as your skin met his and he was sure that he had never been so needy for someone before.

rupert's mouth finally fully latched on to your clit and you gasped instantly. your hand continued to stroke declan and he leant down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. his breath tickled your ear and his moans were like music. down below you, rupert's mouth worked expertly on your pussy, which was an entirely different sensation than declan's sloppy, but deliciously overwhelming mouth.

your thighs squeezed around his head, but it only made him that much more eager to please you. his tongue moved up and down, then teased your entrance. your stomach squeezed with the feeling of another orgasm coming on quickly.

"fuck, rupert. please keep going," you moaned out, arching your hips into his face further.

declan could feel himself getting closer too, but he didn't want to finish then and spend time gaining back his energy. he gained the strength to pull your hand away from him and offered a sweet kiss to your palm instead. he craned his neck down to place more kisses on your neck, and once he found a spot that seemed to draw an extra whimper from you, he bit down and sucked.

your moans were surely loud enough to hear across the countryside. it didn't matter though with the way declan and rupert were lavishing endless attention on you. it was the best you were sure you had ever felt. that knot in your stomach only grew tighter and you weren't going to last long.

rupert wasn't letting up, though. in fact, he copied declan's move and slipped two fingers in, curling them upwards over and over. with every pull, that knot tightened and tightened. if he didn't pull away, you were sure you'd pass out. he didn't though.

declan's mouth continued to leave hickeys down your neck and suddenly, waves of pleasure overtook every part of your senses. before you knew it, rupert's chest and torso were soaked.

"had to be such an overachiever and make her squirt?" declan asked, releasing from your neck with a harsh bite. you were breathing heavily, attempting to come down from the intense high you had been feeling. declan and rupert bickered quietly, before realizing that your head had lulled against the pillow.

"seems like i won that one, huh?" rupert asked, moving up the bed again to caress the hairs that had stuck along your forehead.

"oh, please," declan said. his large palm met your cheek and you looked at him with eyes that made him fall only deeper for you. "we haven't even fucked the pretty girl yet."

[crowiin]

Here’s a VERY unfinished comic from the amazing fic Monkey King's Guide to Physical Contact by @ninja-knox-ur-sox-off . I lost steam on it a little while back so it never got finished, but thanks so much to the incredible @lavaflowe for all the constructive criticism and lettin me dump ideas on ya! This Monkey Has Problems

[thebestsetter]

The hear me out cake.

It has been, for the past month, a famous trend on Tik Tok.

And today, it has proven to be the bane of your existence.

"Tsumu, please" You tried to open the door, but it was locked

"No! Don't look at me! I'm too ugly! Hideous!"

"No you're not!" You sighed audibly

"Quit decieving me! I know I am!"

This has been going on for hours now. And you don't know how to put an end to it.

It all started when you were both just chilling on the couch this morning, right after you woke up from a movie night. Atsumu's head was on your chest as he looked over at your phone, watching videos with you as you scrolled through the endless abyss of Tik Tok.

Everything was going fine: with one of your hands massaging his blond locks and the other holding your phone up, he was really starting to get sleepy. This week of training was harsh, after all. This was all he needed: a relaxing weekend with the love of his life.

It was all going fine. Really.

Until it wasn't. Until that damned video appeared on your "for you" page.

"Our hear me out cake!"

Two girl, probably barely above 16, said together while smiling at the camera. A big chocolate cake was seen next to the camera, and they held printed images of characters and celebrities.

Both you and Atsumu already knew about the trend. You're both chronically online, after all. So, you decided to watch the video.

After a while, you were starting to get bored of it. You were going to scroll, but decided against it. You kept watching.

And damn it, you really should have skipped this video. You really should have. It would have spared you of a lot of suffering.

Because the next and last "Hear me out" the girls showed was...

"Atsumu Miya. The volleyball player"

"No way" one of them laughed "No way you're into him"

Oh oh. This is NOT good.

"HUH?" Atsumu jumped off of you, snatching the phone from your hands and rewinding the video to make sure he heard it right.

"Hey, Tsumu! Give me my phone back!" You said, trying to forcefully grab it back yet not managing to. You were no match for a literal athlete, afterall.

"Atsumu Miya. The volleyball player"

"No way. No way you're into--"

"Tsumu..."

"Atsumu Miya. The volleyball player"

"No way. No way--"

"Atsumu."

"Atsumu Miya. The volleyball player"

"No way--"

"Atsumu Miya."

"Atsumu Miya--"

"Atsumu Miya--"

"Atsumu Miya!"

You "stole" your phone back, glaring at him

"You can't just grab people's phone like that! It's disrespectful and..."

Just one look at him made you forget you were even angry at him before.

He looked utterly and undoubtdely heartbroken.

"Tsumu..."

"Be honest" he started, looking at the ground "Do you think I'm ugly? Am I a... hear me out?"

"God, Tsumu, no!" You hugged him tightly "You're beautiful, my love!"

"You don't need to lie to make me feel better!" He pushed you away and dramatically put his hand on his chest. "I know I look like a homeless guy who hasn't taken a shower for the last 3 weeks - no, years!"

"Tsumu, you know that's not true..." You tried to hug him again

"Don't come any closer!" He pushed your arms away "I'm going to isolate myself in my room so no one is infected by my uglyness!"

You would've been hurt if you didn't know your boyfriend.

He looked like a highschool girl who just got rejected by her crush right now, but all he needs is time to calm down. He'll get back to normal soon enough

Except he didn't.

And that's how you found yourself in the position you've been in for 2 endless hours: head against your shared bedroom's door and trying to convince Atsumu to open it.

"Tsumu, open the door, please" You sighed, sitting with your back against the door and waiting for a response, only to be met with silence

"Tsumu, you're not hideous" You heard footsteps approaching you.

"...really?" He said from across the door

Yes! It was working! He was actually listening to you now! You couldn't let this opportunity pass.

"Yes! You're one of the most - scratch that, the most handsome man I've ever met!" You got up, resting your hand against the door "You're beautiful inside and out, I love you and couldn't be prouder to have you as my lovely, amazing and beautiful boyfriend" You smiled, praying to God that this would do. You really just wanted to lay down and cuddle with him.

The door finally cracked open, but not entirely. You could only see one of his eyes peeking through the tiny opening he made

"Say that again" he said, eyes unblinking

"What?"

"Say that last part again" he looked at you, gaze so strong you felt weak "Please"

"I love you?? And I'm proud of having you as my boyfriend??"

"Why do you sound so full of doubt?!"

"I love you." You said, laughing a little "And I'm very proud to have you as my amazing boyfriend."

Maybe this worked! He'll finally open the--

Nevermind. The door was closed yet again.

Not again! What did you do wrong this time? Maybe it's because you were laughing? Well, you'll just have to try again--

"I LOVE YOU TOO!!" Atsumu said, opening the door and literally throwing himself at you.

"AHHH!"

It was so sudden that you crashed to the floor, with him on top of you and your lungs with little to no oxygen. You weren't sure how you were even breathing at this point.

"I love you!" Atsumu said again, resting his head against your boobs in a (hopefully) not perverted way.

"I love you too" you smiled, caressing his hair "Now, why don't we go watch a movie? I missed you! I didn't see you for 2 long, torturous hours!" You said, laughing a little

"Sure!" Atsumu answered, getting up. Then, like a kid who did (or rather, was planning to do) something naughty, he suddenly began to run away

"Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to write a little comment on that video!"

"ATSUMU, NO!" You got up and ran after him.

"ATSUMU YES!" He began to run faster.

You were not able to stop him in time. Again, he was an athlete, afterall.

His PR team had to deal with the media later.

Whatever. It's not like any of these people's opinions on him mattered anyway.

What matters is that you think he's handsome and funny and your lovely boyfriend. And he'll do his damn best to make sure that never changes.

~ I heard we have a new Atsumu fan here! Welcome @someprettyname!!

Masterlist

[babysukiii]

regina’s puppy (3)

// regina has a soft spot for you, but when she refuses to accept why, someone else might swoop in and take your attention away from her. //

warnings: mutual pining, soft!regina (for reader), mean!regina (not to reader), very jealous!regina, underage drinking, mentions of smoking.

this is part 3 to the series, read part 2 here!

“please don’t make me go.” you just about beg regina, flashing her a pair of puppy eyes that nearly makes her reconsider her entire existence. the blonde was currently blending the makeup on your face, claiming she was going to be your “personal makeup artist” tonight. truth be told you enjoy letting regina do your makeup; the close proximity, her undivided attention, having an excuse to stare at her beautiful face without being questioned. though when she mentioned she was making you go to the party gretchen was throwing, you began to beg her not to take you.

“it’s just a few people from school, and a few drinks. i’ll have you home by ten, or you can just sleepover my house.” she assures you dismissively, her gaze transfixed on your face as if it was a canvas for the beauty blender. it’s been three weeks since you became a part of regina’s “clique”, and to say it’s been strange is an understatement. you had gone from the bottom of the social food chain, to the top of it in less than a month. all because of regina’s strange fixation with you.

“i wasn’t even invited! and i’m pretty sure i wouldn’t even know what to do there.” you retort, and she shakes her head, “you don’t need an invitation when you’re with me.” she responds pointedly. “just stick by my side and look pretty all night. that’s all you have to do.” she declares simply, and your cheeks turn a dark shade of pink. “you think i’m pretty?” you question softly, the uncertainty in your voice causes her heart to clench. her tenebrous blue eyes are gazing into yours, she appears to get lost in you for a mere moment.

“i think you’re so, so pretty.” the blonde reveals in this washed out voice that makes your knees weak. thankfully you’re sitting on the seat of regina’s vanity, otherwise you’re sure you would’ve stupidly fallen. the way you avoid her gaze while your face heats up, causes regina to cup your chin, tilting your head upwards to look at her. your breath hitches, getting lodged in your windpipe as you nearly forget how to breathe due to the close proximity. regina quirks a brow at your reaction as she continues doing your makeup. “are you nervous, y/n? do i make you nervous?” she inquires, practically staring into your soul.

“i—i guess you do.” you mentally facepalm yourself for stuttering, and answering like a fool. the cheshire cat-like grin that takes its place on regina’s features causes a heat to rise in your belly. “it’s okay, y/n, i think it’s cute. how flustered and nervous you get around me... how strained your voice gets, and how red you get.” she teases, and you shake your head in disagreement. “it’s not. it’s embarrassing.” you murmur, and she flashes you a look, “i don’t think so. i like it.” she breathes out, her face so close to yours you forget how to think.

“why?” you manage to ask, and she shrugs, pulling away from you in an instant. the moments over as quickly as it begun, and in a small way you’re thankful for it because you can think clearly now. “i like the way you are with me. especially when you look at me. it’s like i’m the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen.” she professes, as she rummages through her makeup bag. regina avoids your eyes. she doesn’t enjoy being honest, but she also can’t bring it in herself to lie to you for some cursed reason.

“cause you are the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen.” you answer simply, sounding so honest. regina’s head snaps in your direction; she searches your face for any signs of dishonesty, but all she finds on your features is that usual genuine expression that makes her stomach flip. “you’re just saying that cause i’m regina george.” she says her name in this taunting way, as she begins to apply the blush on your cheeks and nose. “i wouldn’t say something i don’t mean, gina.” you wholeheartedly respond, and you swear you can see a faint blush tinting her cheeks.

regina feels this pang of guilt in her chest. you’re so innocent, and she thinks you’d do just about anything she asks. “if you don’t wanna go tonight, we don’t have to.” the blonde finds herself caving, and you furrow your brows. “well, we’re already getting ready… we might as well go, right? besides, gretchen will have a total meltdown if you don’t show up.” you point out, and regina shrugs. “yeah, but if you don’t wanna go, we don’t have to.” regina reiterates, and you offer her an overly trusting little smile.

“if you go, i go.” you assure her, and her eyebrows perk up at your willingness to do whatever she wants. regina likes that a lot more than she should. “good. why don’t you put on those flare jeans i got you, the black ones.” she smiles as she says this, putting away her makeup. “okay!” you obediently respond as you hop up off the seat, and over to your bag of clothes you brought.

you decide to match a white lace crop top you picked out when you and regina went shopping. when you finish getting dressed, you come out of the blonde’s bathroom, stopping in your tracks when you see her outfit. the tight, black leather pants she was wearing nearly made you drool. regina notices the expression of awe on your face, and she savors it. she’s used to having people gawk at her because they thought she was attractive, or they were envious of her… but you… the way you looked at her was always so different. she couldn’t figure out why she craved your attention all the time; now more than ever.

“you look good.” she declares as her eyes roam up and down your outfit. the blood rises to your face, “i think i have a sherpa jacket that’ll look so hot on you with that.” she states as she walks past you, and towards her walk-in closet. you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you were holding. regina looks even hotter than usual tonight, and you didn’t know if you were going to be able to keep your gayness to yourself. you already nearly had a gay panic attack while she was doing your makeup; now you were going to have to be by her side all night while she looked hotter than the temperature of the sun.

“i found it!” she yells out from somewhere in the unnecessarily large closet. when she comes out, regina is holding a cropped, black corduroy, sherpa jacket for you. “try this on and let me see.” she orders, tossing the jacket your way. you catch it, scrambling to put it on compliantly. regina‘s grin falls as soon as you have the jacket on; you’re standing a few feet away from her looking absolutely gorgeous. yet you look up at her with this expression of insecurity, desperately waiting for her approval. “doesn’t look good?” you ask shyly, “you look so beautiful.” regina blurts out, and your face burns as the butterflies in your stomach flutter rapidly.

“th-thank you.” you shyly respond; your timid expression nearly causes her to smile. but then she remembers she’s regina george and she’d never be caught dead being this soft. “you better get used to compliments, y/n. especially when you look like that.” she comments coyly as she reaches for her black doc martens. you watch her put her shoes on; your cheeks practically on fire as you try to compose yourself and get it together. you don’t tell regina you probably will never get used to her complimenting you, and once she’s finished tying her boots, she smile broadly at you, causing your heart to swell at the sight. she’s always gorgeous, but she’s so much more beautiful when she’s unguarded like this.

“come on, let’s go before gretchen starts spamming me with texts.” she jokes, and you giggle as regina grabs your hand. your breath gets caught in your windpipe as she interlocks her hands with yours. that’s another thing you were trying to get used to; holding hands with the prettiest girl on earth. “ugh, i wonder if becky martin’s gonna be there tonight. she was at nathan’s party last month, and had on the same shoes as me.” regina pouts, as you both get into her jeep.

“but you probably looked way better than her anyways.” you respond, and she raises a brow as she starts her car. “probably?” she asks a bit angrily, and you giggle. “you definitely looked way better than becky martin, gina.” you tell her, and her face morphs into a satisfied expression. “i know.”

you’ve never really been to a high school party before, so you weren’t entirely sure what to expect. but as soon as you walk into gretchen’s house, the loud music blares through your ears, and there are far more people here than the cafeteria during lunch. you look around at the hoard of students; some you knew and some you had never seen before. “regina!! y/n!! you guys came!” gretchen sounds abnormally happy to see you, and she wraps her arms around you. “you totally have to try the sangria mix! it has strawberries in it!” she squeals, and regina practically pries gretchen’s hands off of you.

“you’re already drunk? it’s like nine-thirty. and where’s karen? you’re supposed to be making sure she doesn’t hookup with some random guy again.” regina begins to scold gretchen, who proceeds to ramble out an apology. you seem to get distracted by all the noise and people, but regina pulls you out of your thoughts when she intertwines her hand with yours. “do you wanna try sangria or are you a beer girl?” regina asks over the ear-splitting music. “sangria please.” you answer, figuring you’d prefer the fruitier drink.

regina begins to make you a drink; something she never does. usually when she’s at things like this, she’s forcing one of her loyal minions to make her the “perfect” drink… yet here she was, grossly attempting to make you the best first drink you’ve ever had. god, who are you, regina? the blonde can’t help but think as she tries to keep her focus on what she’s doing instead of looking at you. she can’t figure out when it became so difficult for her to keep her eyes off you.

she hands you the drink, and your smile meets your eyes, causing her heart to do a backflip in her chest. nobody smiles at her like that; as if they’re verily happy to be in her presence. you appear to relish in regina’s attention, and she savors the feeling of being so appreciated. “thanks gina.” you respond, sincerely, and when you don’t take a sip she raises her brows in an unamused manner. “well? what are you waiting for?” she asks a bit impatiently, earning a sheepish blush from you. “i’m waiting for you to pour yourself one.” you tell her honestly, and there’s that stupid flutter in her stomach again.

“you’re so sappy.” she mutters, but the flush on her cheeks doesn’t go unnoticed by you. you grin as she begins to pour herself a drink, and she looks at you before she takes a sip. you follow her lead, and you make a face of disdain just as she does. “okay, so maybe gretchen is better at this then me.” she mutters in this cutely frustrated way that makes you giggle. “hey regina—“ some guy on the football team attempts to talk to her as he approaches you both, but the blonde cuts him off before he can even finish. her eyes full of fury you’d hate to be on the receiving end of. “don’t you see me talking right now? shoo.” she practically barks out.

he frowns, scoffing as he walks off. she shakes her head, rolling her eyes, “if i wanted to speak to him, i would’ve.” she mutters, and you tilt your head, offering her this soft look. “you can’t blame boys for trying to talk to you. you’re the prettiest girl in school.” you remind her, and she huffs, taking another swig of her drink. “yeah, but that’s the only reason they want to talk to me.” she starts stringently, and you listen to her closely. “they only wanna talk to me cause i’m popular, and hot. that’s the only reason why anyone talks to me.” she sounds like she actually believes the words as they leave her mouth.

“you may be “hot” and “popular” but you’re also so much more than that, regina. i mean you’re so nice to me, and you like the same books i do. plus i think your taste in music is really cool. you just don’t give yourself enough credit.” you say easily, taking another sip of your drink. regina gets lost in you for a few seconds; her heartbeat slowing down as everyone else in the house fades out of her mind. she opens her mouth to say something else, but karen and gretchen interrupt. “regina!” the dark haired girl squeals as soon as she sees the queen bee.

she approaches you both and hugs regina, who shoves her off, before karen hugs you. “oh my god, i love your jacket! did you do your makeup?? you look so pretty!” karen’s kind compliments make you smile. karen’s been genuinely nice to you since you became a part of regina’s “clique”. she was welcoming right away, and just happy to have someone new to talk to. “thanks, it’s gina’s jacket. she did my makeup.” you say, flashing this dorky smile at the blonde who is watching the entire interaction with those intense, blue eyes. “don’t you think the blush on the nose looks so cute on her?” regina asks, and karen nods.

“yes! i tried it last summer, but didn’t like it on me.” she admits, as she begins to tell you about the makeup looks she tried last summer. regina glances at gretchen who seems to be staring at something… or someone. “i’ll be right back.” gretchen says, and regina furrows her brows as she watches her friend make her way up to jason who was shamelessly flirting with another girl. regina frowns, “i’ll be right back, i gotta make sure gretchen doesn’t hookup with that asshole again.” the blonde tells you, squeezing your arm before she follows gretchen.

“hey karen! you guys wanna come here and take a hit of this?” one of the guys on the basketball teams calls out for the dark haired girl, and she immediately turns her fixation on him, getting distracted. “okay! come on y/n, let’s go.” she declares, and before you have any time to protest, karen is dragging you over to a group of students you barely know. you look around for regina, and notice she’s busy talking to gretchen and jason… well, she’s more so yelling at them.

“here, wanna try this?” dani, one of the girls on the softball team asks a she offers you a lit joint. you reluctantly take it, placing the filter between your lips before pulling a hit out of it. you begin to cough horrendously, and instead of being put off, the jock lets out a genuine laugh before taking the joint back. “i’ve never seen you around before.” she comments, and your cheeks burn in a bit of embarrassment; though the weed helps numb out the humiliation. “i’m y/n—“ you begin to introduce yourself, but she cuts you off. “no, i know who you are, y/n. we have gym class together.” she reminds you, only adding onto the sheepish blush on your face.

“i meant, i’ve never seen you around before; like outside of school.” she elucidates, and you nod. “i don’t usually come to these sort of things…” you trail off, “… but regina’s been helping me come out of my shell.” you explain, and she raises a brow. “regina? as in regina george?” the softball teams pitcher asks uncertainly, and you nod eagerly, your entire face lighting up like a christmas tree at the mention of the blonde. “yup, she’s over there.” you point over at the blonde who seems to be ripping jason a new one.

“no wonder your hanging out with karen. well, i can certainly see why regina wanted you to be a part of the plastics.” dani declares with a glimmer in her eyes, there’s something in her tone you can’t quite place. you let out this confused little chuckle, “what do you mean by that?” you ask curiously, yet a bit carefully. “you’re beautiful.” she clarifies, and your cheeks heat up due to the unexpected compliment.

your gaze shyly meets hers, and even though it isn’t the same as when regina calls you that; it still makes you smile. “thank you.” you respond, and your soft voice makes the brunette grin. “you’re welcome, i’m just being honest…” she trails off a bit shyly, and dani’s friend interrupts. “you guys wanna head down to the basement and take hits from the bong i brought?” the basketball player asks, as he pulls a mini bong out from one of his large pockets.

“you wanna come?” dani asks hopefully, taking your hand in hers, rubbing the back of your hand with the pad of her thumb. you look over at karen who nods encouragingly, “i—“ you’re about to turn down the offer, when regina’s harsh voice cuts you off. “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” the furious sound of the girl you’ve had a hopeless crush on for years, causes you to spin around. there’s burning fury in her gaze, and for a moment, you think she’s going to yell at you. your heart races nervously as you think about regina being angry at you.

“gina—“ you try, but regina pries dani’s hand off of yours, taking a step in front of you, practically wedging herself between you two. it isn’t up until this moment that you realize regina wasn’t looking at you with all that rage… she was looking at dani. “we were just inviting your friends to smoke in the basement.” dani’s friend from earlier interrupts, responding for the softball player. regina’s gaze flickers to him. her wrath is enough to get the stoned boy to falter slightly, shifting from one foot to another, “did you wanna come…?” he asks uncertainly, trying to figure out why the blonde was so visibly upset.

regina quirks a brow, looking at dani. “i don’t think your friend here would like that very much. i think she wants y/n all too herself while you try your luck with karen.” regina’s voice is catty while there’s an underlying sense of anger laced throughout it. your belly flips nervously. you glance at dani who looks at you for a moment, before she looks back at regina. “i didn’t realize you were her keeper, regina.” the softball pitcher talks back to the queen bee, who’s brows quirk towards her hairline. by now there are a few people watching curiously as regina crosses her arms, “anything that pertains to her, is my business.” the blonde’s tone is sharp as a blade, and her eyes are deadly serious.

“and if you think for a second i’m going to let some wannabe babe ruth try and get lucky with her in gretchen’s fucking basement…” regina trails off, her seething voice causes dani to shake her head in disbelief. “woah, hold on— i just wanted to smoke with her. and even if i did have some underlying intention… what do you mean you “let” her? last i checked y/n is her own person. she can decide who she wants to hang around all night. following the prissy queen bee, or having actual fun.” dani smirks, and regina’s fingernails dig into her her upper arms.

“i’m standing right here, and i wasn’t going to go down there anyways. i came with regina.” you say as sternly as you can, and regina’s eyes flicker to you. she exhales through her nostrils, releasing a tiny breath of relief she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding. dani scoffs, “so that’s what you are now? regina’s puppy? you know, you used to have your own style, and i’d see you hanging out on your own. i always thought you were cool, because you were so out of touch with social norms…” dani trails off, shaking her head in dismay. “… now you go wherever regina goes.” she finishes as she calls you out.

SMACK

before you can even think about saying something, the sound of regina’s open hand meeting dani’s left cheek elicits a loud slapping noise to sound throughout the room. the room goes quiet. regina’s palm is stinging after coming into contact with the jocks cheek, there are gasps and murmurs that fill the suddenly quiet room. dani looks dumbfounded for two seconds before a wave of humiliation washes over her. “if you want to continue being a part of the softball team, or have any sort of social status, you’ll keep your nose out of my business.” she hisses threateningly.

dani scoffs, looking at you and shaking her head. she turns to leave and you look at regina, who now has a satisfied smile etched onto her lips. “now, where were we? oh yeah, we were drinking our sangria’s…” regina interlocks her hand with yours, the same hand that just slapped dani. she leads you away from the shocked gazes and hushed whispers. the last fifteen minutes were playing in your head like a broken record. regina was upset about dani flirting with you; she was more upset than you’d ever seen. you couldn’t help but wonder why. maybe your feelings for regina weren’t as one sided as you thought.

a/n: sorry this is a little long… jealous regina makes my coochie pulse flutter

taglist: @xvyzxx @spideyznss @whateveryouwantsee11 @alwaysgoodnight @chaoticcoffeequeen @mcu-junkie @lottienatswife @vanessashands @natashas-whore @southelroys @dandelions4us @ylenabelxva @probs-reading-fanfics @dont-emily-me @luz-enjoyer @flocon-neigeux @jjiwoo06 @aminetil @pyro-les @tyler-06 @justlovemaths @teenybean @emskies @tulipatheticee @marvelwomenarehoto

i’m so sorry if it didn’t tag u or give u the notification, tumblr wasnt letting me :/

[ineffable-suffering]

Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator

Part 1: The Story of Job

I'm absolutely not the first one to talk about this on here and I probably shan't be the last either. Alas, here's my take on why all of the minisodes in Season 2 should be enjoyed with great care – and taken with a grain of angelic salt.

I'm gonna split this into 3 parts, aka the three minisodes we are shown, since I tend to get a bit waffley in my posts and want to still be able to include all the little details. Once I've written them, I'll link Part 2 & Part 3 here as well!

Alright, let's get into it under the cut of doom.

Episode 2 opens with the Story of Job. Right off the bat, I noticed that it sort of looks like an old film playing. At first I didn't read that much into it, but once we see the cut-away to Aziraphale at the bookshop, currently reading that part of the Bible (presumably), I immediately thought: "Oh! It's because it's his memory. He's remembering how it went down and therefore it plays like a figurative film in his head."

This, I then came to realize, is a very crucial difference to all the flashbacks of S1, which were exclusively told and narrated by God. May her intensions be as ineffable as they are: She did tell us all of these stories from an objective outsider's point of view. Now, however, it's Aziraphale who's re-telling those stories to us from memory.

And if there's one thing that's for certain, it's that a memory is something entirely different to an objective narration of a story. Just think about how you yourself remember things. Especially things that happened years, maybe even decades (or, in an angel's case, millenia) ago. What is it, that you really remember? Can you know for sure, that a conversation was held with those exact words? Are you 100% certain that the clothes someone wore weren't different? Had it really been snowing or would that make very little sense given what you're remembering happened in May? And did it even happen in May? Or does that just happen to be your favourite month, the current weather, your preferred style of clothing and what it was that you would imagine someone would have said to you?

What I'm trying to say is: The further away it is that something happened, the more your brain has to fill in the gaps. This is why, for example, your parents will remember the family summer holiday entirely different when you ask them about it 20 years later.

"No, it was Sarah who puked on the car ride home!" "Nonsense, Sarah never puked as a child. Bobby had that gone-off pizza, he's the one that was sick the whole ride long!"

We've all been there. Bobby made it out alive. Don't buy gas station pizza.

Alright, back to the plot: Naturally, Aziraphale is not actually human, so it is a pure assumption on my part that the way his memory works is similar to ours. However, the whole topic of "memory" is actually quite a recurring one on Good Omens.

Crowley seems to have lost his in the Fall, yet somehow managed to get most of it back. Not all of it, though, he clearly has some major gaps ("You used to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat!"). Beelzebub helps Gabriel store all his memories in their little fly container before they get wiped entirely too, by the Metatron and/or Saraqael. Crowley and Aziraphale (and possibly Jimbriel) perform a miracle together that makes everyone in Heaven and Hell forget who Garbiel is or what he looks like. And we know that the Book of Life apparently has the ability to completely erase someone from existence – ergo also erasing them from everyone's memory and making it is as though the person had never been in them at all.

So, clearly, angels and demons being able to remember, forget, reconstruct and, if you're the Metadork, wipe memories, is very much canon. Apart from that very last one, it does make them quite human-like in a way. We too can forget or (wrongfully and incompletely) reconstruct memories, due to things like trauma, illness or simply a lot of time having passed.

So, just like Crowley remembers going into battle but doesn't remember Furfur being there, or just like Jimbriel has entierly forgotten who he is but still remembers the tune and lyrics to Buddy Holly's song Everyday, and just like archangel Michael was miraculously made to forget Gabriel and yet says "Don't I know you?" when seeing him again – just like that, Aziraphale's memories of the story of Job, the story of wee Morag and the story of the magic show in 1941, might not actually be the whole truth.

So, time to look at where the furniture isn't.

Now, it could very well be that the costume designers of S2 thought: "Fuck it, let's go crazy" – but given that this show has a track record of meticulously making sure to stick to accurate and cohesive character design, doesn't it strike you as odd that Crowley would go from this look at the Flood in Mesopotamia, 3004 BC:

... to the (very iconic, don't get me wrong) Bildad the Shuhuite drip in 2500 BC:

... back to this at the crucifixion of Jesus Christ in 33 AD:

I mean ... I mean– come on, that seems like a bit of a far stretch, even for someone as enthusiastically experimental with fashion as Crowley.

And it's not just that: Where did the sunglasses come from, all of a sudden? And why do they look like some sort of obscure, ancient optometrist's device? It's a known historical fact that the Romans were the ones to have invented sunglasses, somewhere around 50-ish AD. Which actually matches perfectly with when Crowley and Aziraphale meet again in Rome 8 years after the crucifixion (51 AD).

So, where do the weird spectacles come from, over 2000 years too early? Maybe from Aziraphale's brain filling in some gaps? Hasn't Crowley always worn those ridiculous sunglasses? Was it Rome? Or Golgotha? Wessex? Oh, blimey, what does it matter!

And it's not just Crowley: Aziraphale's own clothes, as well as the other angels', seem to be very different from the rather plain linen we see him wear before and after the story of Job.

They're laced with golden embroidery along the neckline and sleeves. The remind almost of the clothes angels are depicted wearing in biblical and historical drawings. Ornate and decadent. Not at all like we see Aziraphale in the other flashbacks of S1.

Even Bildad the Shuhite's hair within the minisode keeps changing, going from all pouffy and voluminous to rather deflated and straight-looking:

The costume department either had to fix up two seperate wigs or manually straighten out the volume of the one again to give it a more sleek look. I'm not a professional in this field, but if there's anything I've learned from watching hours of behind-the-scenes material of movies and shows, it's that very little about costume, character, prop and set design is purely coincidental.

You know what it could be, though? An accurate representation of how memories aren't linear, historically correct and objective representations of a certain event, but rather an ever-changing, jumbled mess of impressions, emotions and exaggerations.

More specifically: Aziraphale's impression, emotions and exaggerations.

Like "remembering" Crowley with sunglasses because he's been wearing them for so long.

Like "remembering" himself wearing more luxurious, angelic clothes because that's how he thinks of the difference between Heaven and Hell.

Like "remembering" the permit as a ridiculously long scroll that folded out over an entire valley.

Like "remembering" Job's children to be weirdly sassy in an almost Aziraphale-esque way (Enon: "Don't be silly!") for the fact that Job would have probably taught them to be more humble and obedient in the presence of a literal angel.

Like "remembering" eating an entire fucking Ox after having just one bite of it while Crowley watched him lustfully, sipping on his wine.

Like "remembering" Crowley calling him 'angel', despite them having barely known each other back then.

There's a reason why the flashbacks in S2 seem so much more alive, quirky and, at many points, confusing and all over the place. Because they're not objective stories being told by a third party. They're Aziraphale's. So much of his own thoughts and feelings at the time get projected onto them because that's simply how memory works!

It's subjective. It's unrealiable.

It's not that I'm calling Aziraphale a liar. He's no more a liar than your parents are, mixing up Sarah and Bobby. Or you, remembering snow instead of sunshine. Memories aren't lies. They can simply be faulty, focus on things that you thought were more important and leaving out or changing things that weren't, to you.

The real challenge in all of this, is trying to filter through Aziraphale's stories to see what it actually is they're telling us. Where it is that the furniture isn't. And I think in this case, that's 6 main things (eff you, God, I know you like sevens, but I don't care):

God and Satan (still) talk to each other We see that Aziraphale is quite surprised when Muriel mentions that the whole Job thing is God's bet with Satan. But clearly, despite having made him and the rest fall, God still converses with Her number one traitor about whether or not the humans simply love Her because she gives them nice things or because they truly believe in Her.

God and Satan (and Heaven and Hell) can and do collaborate with each other when they feel like it So much for choosing sides, huh? Truthfully, this is not the first time this is shown to us, but still. It's another piece of evidence on the growing pile.

Aziraphale understands the World and humans way better than any of the other angels "Well, you see ... Citis is 58 ..."

Aziraphale, despite having troubles voicing it, absolutely disagrees and even condemns God's plan of destroying Job's children (and goats and camels and––)

Aziraphale is willing to lie and thwart the will of God Also not the first time we're being shown this but again, piiiile of evidence.

Angels don't automatically Fall simply by doing the above To me, this is one of the most important take aways. It's already hinted in S1 as well that 'Falling' seems to have been a one time even back when the first war broke out in Heaven. And I actually believe that ever since then, no other angels have Fallen again. Aziraphale is the best example for this. He has gone against God's plan numerous times and even lied to her very face (voice?) about it. And yet, nothing ever happened to him. Why exactly that is the case remains a topic for another meta (that I might or might not be working on already, teehee).

Alright, that concludes this first look at the Job minisode! If there's anything I missed, feel free to share it with me. I'll try and add Part 2 (the story of wee Morag) and Part 3 (the magic show of 1941) soon.

Update: Part 2 and Part 3 have officially been written, you can find it them right here:

Part 2: The Story of wee Morag

Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941

Hugs and kisses, (God)!

[goliath-de-senfina-sango]

Danny Phantom and the Riordanverse

I have some thoughts about a Shared World kind of crossover between Danny Phantom and Percy Jackson & the Olympians. I haven’t done a full rewatch of DP in ages, nor have a read outside the core 5 PJO books, the HOO books, the Kane Chronicles, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, and about 2 and a half of the Trials of Apollo books, also been a while. Apologies for any inaccuracies but hey, fanon.

A Glitch In Time canonizes that the Infinite Realms and Material World were once one and the same, but a global war - waged by people who were naturally half ghost the way Danny and Vlad are - split the world in 2. All things regarding Pariah Dark, I’d say he was one of the major powers in this war.

Realms can range from a 10x10x10 room to entire islands with their own celestial bodies like Dora’s kingdom and its sun. Technically we don’t know if the Far Frozen even has an End Point. Doors can lead to alternate timelines; Desiree, Ghost Writer and Clockwork are all able to warp reality, time included, and the Observant Council perceive time in at least 2 dimensions.

In the Riordanverse it is revealed in the few books of the Trials of Apollo that I read and remember that mortal belief from even a relatively small cult can elevate a mortal man to immortal status a la monsters and Gods. Apollo even muses about the way the Gods don’t want to acknowledge how dependent on mortals remembering them they are.

All of this considered, if you want DP to exist in the Riodanverse and even keep the lore of both, then the Realms/Planes/Worlds of the Gods - of Hellas, Kemet, the Æsir and Vanir, the Heavenly Beauracracy, etcetera - are Realms connected to the Spirit World but managed to remain intersected with the Material World through the efforts of the Gods and the memories of Mortals.

The Duat could even be a layer of the Infinite Realms, frankly.

Danny states that his accident was a month ago as of Episode 1, Mystery Meat, which is set April 3rd, 2004. Based on the few concrete date indicators we get in Danny Phantom, the series takes place over 3 years. 4 if you count Claw of the Wild, but that means the trio stays Tiny all the way into Senior Year lol.

Prisoners of Love begins on May 18th, Fright Knight is a Halloween episode, and in Lucky in Love, they’re at a waterpark, which only open in May at the earliest. The Fright Before Christmas is obviously set before and during Christmas and then Reality Trip is set at the beginning of Summer 2006.

In Urban Jungle, Tucker remarks that it’s 90 degrees outside, which means it’s either late May or early June since I do believe they Are in school at that point and iirc global warming hadn’t made it 90 in the midwest early in 2006. Claw of the Wild is an odd camping episode featuring Danny’s class, and I forget in episode details so if this was during school time it had to be during the spring since, again, they live relatively close to the Great Lakes, so it’s gotta be during a naturally warm time. A Glitch In Time, therefore, is set in late spring or early summer of 2008.

Percy Jackson is 12 at the beginning of The Lightning Thief & 13 at the end Iirc since his birthday is August 12th. Either way, this is in 2005. Sea of Monsters and Titan’s Curse are both set during 2006; Battle of the Labyrinth is in 2007, and iirc The Last Olympian is set next year during 2008 and Percy is 16.

Thereby when the Heroes of Olympus books begin in 2008-2009, Danny is 18 and either a senior or highschool graduate. This is a hilarious point in time for Percy to meet Danny, actually, or any of our protagonist crew, if you want to maintain canon for both.

I know most people don’t, in fact, care to keep up DP canon nearly this rigidly, so some other fun thoughts.

In Reality Trip, Freakshow acquires the Reality Gauntlet, and begins the summer (as this begins on a last day of school event I’d say probably even on the Solstice) of 2006 with a reality warping bang. Once he gets the gems, Freakshow transforms the whole world into his circus, until Danny tricks him and gets the glove back, fixing reality to exactly how it was before the change, wiping his identity from the memories of everyone save Tuck, Sam, & Jazz, and then destroyed the Reality Gauntlet in a single shot.

This, I imagine, would grab the attention of The Gods. That’s if the Pariah Dark situation didn’t register to them, even. Considering Percy is 13 at the time and due to deal with the Sea of Monsters situation, the Kane siblings haven’t been recruited yet (I think) and Magnus is still just a homeless kid in Boston, I dunno if anyone from New Rome would be sent but the Gods of various pantheons may investigate directly or through minor gods/spirits.

The House of Life certainly wouldn’t approve of the Ghost Portals, Vlad, or possibly even Danny. Hell, Luke might actually be sent to recruit Danny or Vlad to the Titan’s cause now that I think about it.

With the fact that Danny, Vlad, and Dan were destroying other timelines while smashing into them from sheer speed through the Spirit World during A Glitch In Time, I’d say Danny is at least a 6D being (existing in at least 4 dimensions of space and 2 of time.) If that doesn’t count him as a God, idk what would. Also during Infinite Realms, Vlad and Danny time travel to both ancient Rome during an event in the colosseum and ancient China at a monetary. If these are the same universe as Danny’s, then he and Vlad should have a myth or two regarding one another, which would also put them on the watch list for Olympus and the Bureaucracy of Heaven.

But hey, what do you think? I’m open to talk about this and wanna hear other people’s thoughts and opinions.

[calware]

what r some of ur fav Hal fics? Currently looking 2 read some and would love some recs!

sure thing!!

fics that are specifically about hal:

Reallocated by breezefulskies mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 324,756 words - 65 chapters (unfinished) Hal finds himself stranded aboard a certain meteor, impact-bound for Houston, Texas circa 1995. And everything spirals out from there. Because sometimes, when a system seems to be just short of defunct, all that is required is to take a step back and reevaluate the materials at hand and redistribute your available resources. And so, with birth comes a countdown on a cycle that begins as it ends: In the red.

hal is mysteriously sent to earth via unknown means and finds himself raising a baby as best as he can, which, given that he's glasses, is not easy. this is my favorite homestuck fic, not just because it's about hal, but also because i love the focus on family dynamics and the plot as it unfolds. begging everyone to read this, i can't say what happens exactly without spoiling things, it's just really really good. at the moment, it updates once a month

Ersatz Abyss by katreal mature - no archive warnings apply - 120,092 words - 39 chapters (unfinished) You look into the mirror to find your own face looking back at you. You laugh. And then you cry. Last, you try and figure out how you got to this moment. The Auto-Responder had long since resigned himself to an artificial existence, his only dwindling hope for escape hinging on a promise that has yet to be fulfilled. Then one day he wakes up, Dirk nowhere to be found. What's the point in getting what you want, if you can't show off a little?

another great hal fic. i managed to get my roommate (who has not read homestuck) to read this and they really enjoyed it, so i'm sure you all won't have any problems liking this one either. there are a lot of fics out there of hal getting a body, but this one is very different in that it's not the happy ending that you might first think it is. this fic perfects the feeling of everything snowballing into a bigger and bigger problem until it all falls apart

fics that have hal in them:

Bound in Ink and Iron by cyphertext (@4lph4kidz) teen - no archive warnings apply - 18,627 words - 3 chapters (unfinished) A prisoner in his own kingdom, the Prince of Derse seeks his freedom through the inadvisable use of a magic mirror. While making his escape he finds himself lost and in the company of a strange boy who lives alone in the ruins of his grandmother’s cottage. Both cursed, both hunted, they agree to travel together in the hopes that they can find some way to save their loved ones from their terrible fates. Or so the story goes.

hal is in this one for one chapter. but so far there are only three chapters... which means he's there for a whole third of the fic ^_^ but for real, i really like the way zero portrays him here. i am a supporter of evil shadow clone rights

Tennessee Whiskey & You by mistlafey teen - graphic depictions of violence, major character death - 12,217 words - 5 chapters (unfinished) When Dirk dies after an aneyursm, Hal and Jake have difficulties coping. Jake drinks to forget, and eventually Hal can't handle drunk Jake and his own grief - so he turns that into anger. “I’m not him, Jake! I can’t fucking- I can’t fix you. Dirk is gone and you don’t get to pretend he isn’t anymore. I can’t be Dirk, and every time you try to tell me I am it fucking hurts. There’s nothing left for you here. If Dirk was the only person that filled a void in you, there is nothing left to make you whole.”

i honestly have no idea how this is going to go but the bar scene in this one lives in my head rent-free. idk if it's ever going to update again though. hal fans forever forced to take what we can get

Falling for the First Time by nobrandhero teen - no warnings apply - 63,818 words - 11/17 chapters The game is over, Alpha Earth resets to 2009, and Dirk's bro doesn't live up to expectations. The movie director who appears so chill and stoic in interviews is actually a talkative, needy dweeb like his teenage counterpart. It's not a bad thing, as far as Dirk's concerned.

for whatever reason, i'm a sucker for fics where the characters somehow end up on earth again post-game, and out of all the fics that follow that concept this one is my favorite. hal is also there sometimes

[mintywolf]

(I wrote this on the train coming home on August 26th although I am just getting around to posting it now because time is a weird soup.)

So okay.

****

I haven’t written a personal journal post in a long time but I want to write down EVERYTHING I can remember about my adventure to NYC to see the Critical Role cast so I don’t forget. It was SUCH a moving experience and I’m so glad I went even though I was scared.

So okay my big goal for this year was to finish the first chapter of my C3 prequel fan comic A Long Road Home (southerngothiccomic.com), have a print edition made, and meet Laura and Marisha at a convention so I could give copies of it to them in person. When the CR cast announced they were going to be at Anime NYC this year I figured that was the closest they were probably going to get to me in Virginia. (And getting autographs at NYCC is reportedly like hunting a unicorn so I figured this would be my best chance.)

I was also terrified, and almost talked myself out of it because I was nervous about giving them the comic, even though I already had a badge and it was what I really, really wanted to do. I know the cast loves to see fanart — and also, it has been revealed, reads the fanfic — but it’s also a pretty well-known taboo for a fan to show their fanfic to a creator and a graphic novel is an unholy hybrid of the two. I was also worried that it would seem presumptuous of me to present them with a fanmade prequel graphic novel because there’s almost certainly going to be an official one at some point, and afraid that at best they might politely tell me they couldn’t accept it (for the reasons that comic writers aren’t “allowed” to read fanfic), and at worst they might be kind of annoyed that it exists. Either way I’d be REALLY sad, and in the weeks leading up to the con I worked myself up into an irrational panic about this. Fortunately my friends managed to talk me into not backing out (and spoilers: it turned out okay in the end!) but I was still very scared.

Also I was so focused on the comic stuff that I forgot until after GenCon earlier this month to think of what I wanted to actually have autographed. I decided to get a big print of the chapter one cover from INPRNT, assuming that since I ordered it two weeks in advance with an eta of 5-7 days that would be plenty of time for it to get to me. Well, reader, it was not. (But please do not let me dissuade you from using INPRNT! To their credit when I contacted them and asked if I could upgrade to rush delivery, they expedited it for free. Unfortunately even with rush shipping it just missed me, arriving at my house while I was on the train to NYC.)

Pâté on the train going to see his biological parents. (Laura and Marisha.)

When I saw that it wasn’t going to arrive in time I was starting to panic because there is nowhere near me to have art prints made. It’s a 15 minute drive (past the alpaca farm) just to get to the nearest grocery store. Grasping at straws I was kind of like Should I . . . draw something? On paper?? With real media that I haven’t used in like 10 years??? I only have 3 days!!!

Fortunately my life was saved by @emphaticembroiderer who had the brilliant suggestion of sending my art ahead to a print shop in NYC and picking it up before the convention. There are indeed MANY of those in New York and I managed to find one that was open on Saturdays and able to make my print on short notice. (567 Framing on W 14th street. The owner, Jack Hu, did excellent work and was very kind!) By that point I was frazzled and didn’t want two of the same print so I decided to be self-indulgent and had this one made. Not my showiest piece but it is one of my favorite things I’ve drawn. (This turned out to be the correct decision.) It’s a 6 1/2 hour train ride from here to there (and it got a little delayed along the way) so by the time I got there it was after 5 and the print shop closed at 6:30 so I zoomed over there straight from the train station to pick it up. It turned out BEAUTIFULLY, and the owner was pleased with how happy I was with it and that he’d been able to help.

He enjoys that he is included.

Then I went and checked in to my hotel and that point really just wanted to lie down on a bed but I had plans to take Pâté to see Hadestown on Broadway that night because I wanted to make the most of my trip. (Also it’s important for our scrungly son to receive a cultural education.) In keeping with the theme of the weekend I wore the Laudna-themed sundress I made for GenCon with one of the poppies in my hair. An usher told me they liked my ensemble. :) I had decided to go for a front row mezzanine seat because I didn’t know when I’d ever have this opportunity again and I didn’t want to risk my miniature self being stuck behind a tall person. It was perfect; I could see everything and the performance was AMAZING. Pâté had a very good time too.

The next day was the CR panel and autographs!! I decided to wear my 1950s Laudna cosplay from GenCon. I had some doubts about it when I got there because without the rest of 50s Bells Hells the theme isn’t as clear and outside of a DnD-focused convention the recognizability of a CR character is kind of low, let alone an AU variant on one. But once I found the Critters my Pâté poodle skirt was appreciated. :)

This is Rach @dadrielle, Astoria @astoriacolumnstaircase, Abby @overnighttosunflowers, and me as 50s Hells at GenCon!

And okay I know this said a lot but it’s true, CR fans are the NICEST fandom to be a part of. <3 If you’re ever standing in line for a CR thing by the time you get there you will have new friends. (For comparison the other-fandoms cosplayers I saw at the hotel and on the way to the con didn’t even return my smiles, even though we were all clearly going to the same place.) I fell in with a group of people who were near me in line (including an amazing Owlbearman cosplayer) and we decided to all sit together. The panel was really great. I don’t remember everything that was asked because of everything ELSE that happened later that day but they hinted that Big Things are coming (including multiple live shows!! Please come to Richmond! Or DC! Or at least somewhere on the East Coast!) for the 10th anniversary and Momlan stepped up to the mic during the Q&A segment and revealed that Sam has achieved his childhood dream . . . to become a minotaur. :D

With the mindset of making the most of this trip I had intended to try to get a spot in line to ask a question but I was hesitant about being on camera (even in cosplay) and while I was dithering about it like 50 people got in line. (I was also Suffering by that point because my rockabilly Laudna shoes have like 3 inch heels and after walking from the hotel to the convention center I didn’t have the fortitude to dart over to the line in them.)

My question, which I hope to submit next time there’s a Q&A opportunity, was this: For Marisha. We’ve seen Delilah’s influence manifesting in Laudna’s fashion choices recently. Now that she has the means and the freedom to do so, what kind of clothes would she choose for herself?

(Because I am a little sad that — until a possible post-campaign oneshot — we’ll never get to see a high-level Laudna costume that’s totally of her own design and I’m really eager to know what it would look like! Let her be spooky and free!)

Afterwards the cosplayers were being rounded up for a photo shoot but I was anxious to get a good spot in line for my autograph with Laura at 2pm so I stealthed away with Ken (@elissabrat), a Jester fan I had met in line, who knew where they were and had one with Travis at the same time. When we got there we were told No, go away and come back in an hour and a half, because it was still only 12. So we went to the Artists Alley where we found a girl named Lea whom we had also met in the panel line and collected a few other stray Critters (Ken has a boisterous and inviting personality and importantly, is very tall, preventing the rest of us from getting lost in the crowd) and we wandered around seeking out all the CR fan artists we could find. (There were a lot! It was great. I got some prints.)

by Cait May and Maliveth

Around 1 we decided to go back and see what the line situation was. Before we parted ways I exchanged twitter handles with Lea, who looked at my profile and said “Wait . . . this is you?”

She told me she was a big fan of my comic and looks forward to it every week! and we were both kind of like !!! at each other for a moment. I had never met someone who recognized my art in the wild before. (On ANY other day this would have been the most amazing thing that happened to me, haha.) I was so touched to meet her. <3

I took out the two books I was carrying and explained why I was there and we all got hyped up about it. And it made it feel a little less daunting, to know that there was someone there who understood the quest I was on and how close I was to the end of it.

I was like 5th in line for Laura and since it was still early I got to participate in that bonding experience integral to every con, sitting on the floor in cosplay, with a very good Vex behind me. (Hilariously, even after the dig at them — or maybe unaware of it — in the most recent episode, there were a lot of Funko Pop resellers around us, haha.)

I sent word to Southern Gothic Discord to remember me fondly in case I died here. In fact I'm not entirely sure that I didn't.

It felt like there was a disproportionate amount of fanfare revealing my print because I kept it how it was packed by the printer, wrapped in paper in between two pieces of cardboard so it wouldn’t get bent, so there was this whole ceremony of peeling back the tape, turning under one of the cardboard protectors, unfolding the paper, and turning over the print. But Laura loved it. She made like a happy sob when she saw it (it was really cute) and she looked at it for a long time taking in all the details and said it was beautiful. <3 <3 <3 (No matter how much we love and ship Imogen and Laudna, NO ONE loves them or is shipping them harder than Laura Bailey. She asked if I was going to bring it to Marisha too and was careful picking out a spot so there'd be room for both of their signatures. :))

I told her I was really happy to meet her because I’ve been a fan since BloodRayne (so, um. 20 years) and she said “oh wow, that was OG days!” And she gave me just a really kind look like she understood how much it meant to me to be there.

Then I gave her the comic. You all were right, I was worried about nothing! because she is the sweetest and she loved it. I very nervously pushed it across the table and said it was a comic I had made and wanted to give her. She picked it up and started turning the pages and was surprised when she saw what it was. “Wait, this is a whole novel! You made this?”

I confessed that I had, and she asked how long it had taken, I told her about a year (it was actually longer; in the moment I kind of forgot not how many pages there are in the first chapter but how many weeks are in a year) and she looked just really impressed that I had made it and touched by how much work had gone into it. She said she couldn’t wait to read it and seemed really excited to hear that it’s still going online! (So no pressure on me there if she's keeping up with it now, haha. o.o) And she kept looking between the book and me like she couldn’t believe it.

Then she asked me if I would sign it for her. :')

Somehow I survived long enough to do so! (a little wobbly because my hands were shaking) and someone (I think it was the ticket scanner) made a joke about how I was the first person to give an autograph at a signing, haha. And then she came around the table and gave me a hug. <3 <3 <3

After that my soul was still on the ethereal plane but the rest of me managed to find my way (after a brief wrong turn) to Marisha’s line. (There was a really good Keyleth and Caduceus in line behind me and they kindly noticed and returned the Pâté sticker that fell out of Marisha’s book).

She recognized my cosplay as 1950s Laudna right away! which was very validating after my earlier indecision haha. She loved the Pâté skirt and thought the scissors embroidery on my collar was adorable. She really liked the art too and was kind of like “Awww” about the book like in an “aww it’s an Imogen and Laudna thing” kind of way (she also liked the glass bottle windchimes on the cover and I love that she noticed that detail because Laudna’s penchant for turning things other people have thrown away into arts and crafts is one of my favorite aspects of her character) until she opened it and started looking through it.

Then she said, “Wait, this is actually really good," and she asked me seriously if Liam “Art Dad” knew about it (I said he had liked some of my other art on Twitter but I didn’t know if he knew about the comic) and then she said — still looking at it, more to herself than me — “We’ll have to add it to our art catalogue.” I don’t know exactly what that means (and I don’t want to get my hopes up too high by speculating; I was too !!! in the moment to ask and now I’m going to be wondering) but . . . it sounds . . . exciting??

They also both enjoyed Pâté and his lil sunglasses. :)

I had gone up with the intention of asking my other burning question: How does being cold-blooded affect Laudna in cold climates? If she gets too cold will she enter a state of brumation like a lizard? Will she freeze solid?

But I forgot. And it really wouldn’t have been the right moment. Maybe when I come back with Volume Two. :)

You’re supposed to pay extra to get a quote put on there but they both did it anyway without even asking. I think they must be really pleased when someone brings them something personal that they’ve made to have signed and not something they’re planning to sell.

After that I just kind of floated away from the con even though it was only like 2:30 haha. Nothing else could have happened there that would have equaled or improved upon that experience. Although I did adopt a Tentacle Kitty. The vendor (correctly) guessed “you look like you’d vibe with our spooky collection” so I had to get a new buddy for Pâté. (50s Laudna, still readily identifiable as a witch wherever she goes.) Also I saw a very chill emotional support pomeranian in a backpack.

(On the way back I saw the mark of the Traveler graffiti’d in green on the sidewalk. Truly a blessed day. :P)

Afterwards I just sat on the bed in my hotel room amid the floof of my crinoline wondering what even is my life for the next few hours and being like !!!! at Discord. Then I met up with Abby (whom it was wonderful to see again!! thank you so much for coming to see me) for dinner and had a really lovely time going over the What Just Happened of it all and talking about Imodna over strawberry pancakes. As one does. Perfect ending to an amazing day. <3

It was SUCH an incredible, exhilarating experience, thank you everyone who pushed me into not giving up out of fear. Laura and Marisha are SO nice and gracious in person and it was just so rewarding, after all the work and love and time I’ve put into this comic, to be able to finally bring it to the people who inspired it! And to see it appreciated and admired by them! It was more than I ever could have imagined.

This fandom is the best. My heart is so happy and full of love right now. <3 <3 <3

[boyfiechan]

hiiiii

is there any chance you could do angst to fluff friends to lovers with chan with prompt 2? if not that’s ok 💕💕💕

thank you ❤️

Hi! Thank you for requesting, I kind of got a little carried away with the angst, sorry haha but please let me know what you think of it! <3

Click here to check out my prompt list.

In some way, you already knew this would happen.

Still, it made you terrified. It wasn't even the situation on its own, opening your door to him standing on the other side in the middle of one of the coldest nights of the year, looking so heartbroken and so confused that you can barely contain the need to embrace his body and confess all of the truth that, unbeknownst to him, has been eating you alive for the past few months. It was the aftermath of him learning about the secret you had tried so hard to keep hidden away, the one thing that could change absolutely everything between you two.

You fucked up, and you fucked up really bad.

Chan has been your closest friend for God knows how long at this point. You've shared so much of life together, seeing each other grow, experiencing new things, and learning about the intricacies of adult life and how complicated it is to simply exist sometimes. He was the one you always turned to—the one to drop everything and give you his complete attention when you needed to rant, the one to discuss your completely bizarre theories with, the one to call at the end of the day and share your random thoughts. The routine on nights like this would always be the same: both of you tucked under a pile of blankets on the floor of your living room, watching some sort of movie that neither of you knew anything about but decided on because the name or something in the poster was just so funny you couldn't ignore it. But it wasn't one of those nights, and it had been days since the last time he had even heard from you.

He didn't know.

And you didn't know, either. How could you even tell him how seeing him there made things so much harder than they already had been these last few weeks? How could you tell him that everything had changed, that the friendship you both adored and counted on so much would be completely ruined because your stupid, stupid heart decided to pick up on even the smallest of things he did? And now, after years of being his rock, his confidant, you betrayed it all by falling in love with him? You couldn't. It wasn't fair to him, it wasn't fair to you. It wasn't fair to the years and the secrets you shared with each other. It just wasn't.

And seeing him at your door, after you quickly brushed off all of his questions after accidentally picking up a call from him out of habit, you wanted to hide again. This is exactly what you have been doing since you noticed how your feelings changed towards him, after feeling your heart pick up astronomically as he simply laughed at a stupid video on his phone while you had dinner a few weeks ago. You hid away, rejecting calls, barely ever opening messages, and not answering any of them until you figured out a way to fix all of this.

What have I done? he asked so quietly you could have sworn your heart was sounding louder than his voice. His eyes searched for yours, silently begging for an explanation as to why you just left him so easily, why he's being cut away from your life all of a sudden. Please, you can't do this. Don't do this. Tell me what's wrong.

I love you, you think.

I don't know, you breathe out. You hate lying, hated lying to him even more, but it was for the best. It was easier to break your own heart than to break his.

Please don't lie to me. Please. His steps are so light and he moves so slowly you almost forget where you are. You can see his lips trembling a little, and he rubs his shaky hands as the night seems to get even colder. Can I come in? It's hard to speak. It's hard to think, even, and all you manage to do is step back as he makes his way in, barely even looking around. He doesn't go farther from the door, turning to look at you with a sort of emotion that you can't quite read on his face. What changed?

I love you. Your voice is barely there. It's hard to get it out, hard to even hear it in your own voice. The door is closed, yet your living room seems even colder than outside—you can feel his perfume and his shampoo and your heart breaking all at once and it's too much. I'm so sorry.

It's hard to look at him. It's hard to do anything, really, and your ears don't even seem to process any sound as he takes the last few steps in between you two. Somewhere in between his entrance, he took his shoes off, and as his socks come into your field of vision you notice you've been staring at the ground before you all this time.

No. Here it comes. Here's the feeling you've been avoiding for so long. Tell me to stop.

What? you know you're not sounding anywhere near stable right now.

Tell me to stop, please, or I won't be able to. It's cold inside but you can feel how warm he is, you can feel him right there, his hand searching for yours, his nose brushing against your cheek. It's so easy to get lost in it, so easy to give it all up just focusing on how his skin feels against yours as he plants a kiss on your temples, then another on your cheek, then one more on the corner of your lips. You need him there, you need him even more than you need to breathe, so you don't stop him and he doesn't stop either, finding your mouth with his and giving you exactly what you've been dreaming about all this time. It's unreasonably better than you could ever imagine, his hand suddenly cradling the back of your head as you completely melt into him.

And there's where you know everything has changed, but it doesn't terrify you anymore. Not when you can feel why he didn't even mind the cold outside, knowing damn well he must have walked all the way from his dorm to your door demanding an explanation as to why you disappeared from his life. That's when you know it all, when you can almost hear his heart beating inside his chest as you hold his face closer to yours.

That's when you know the complete truth—he loves you too.

[jenjibear]

What I think the dreamies twitters would look like

A bullet point imagine

This idea came randomly to me and thought it was a cute concept lmao

so i hope you enjoy my mind

Mark

2am quotes, drunk thoughts, poems or just how he is feeling he always manages to say the deepest things at 2am

guitar videos, hes just practising silently humming the melody along with his playing

he posts his song wips hoping to find inspiration from the people who read them and offer advice

if he isnt posting his likes are filled from his time spent doom scrolling

just a bunch of sad quotes in those likes

Renjun

artistic is the only way to describe it, proudly shares his art with everyone also offers commissions for some money on the side

laughs slightly when a nctzen asks for a drawing of a member not knowing its him doing the commission

loves sharing his art with everyone

shares tutorials and videos of supplies he reccomends

very artsy

Jeno

this account is barren

you'd think it was a bot acc honestly

mostly posts about his bike and the things he sees out on his bike rides

genuinely forgets it exists posts every 3 months if that

he's just a pure soul and doesn't really use the app that much

haechan

meme lord #1

he's posting candids he's taken of the members like he's a menace

he interacts with nctzen's and is living for the memes they post too

exposes the members on the tl constantly

i'm talking out of context screenshots of convos and starting random hashtags

Jaemin

cat pictures hourly

literally has alarms set up to remember to post a picture of his cats

doesn't matter what he's doing he will drop everything to post on the tl to not let the fans down

replies to the fans as if hes the cats like "thank you - luna"

very proud cat dad

Chenle

meme lord #2

unlike haechan hes fully making memes and reaction pics

is the most followed nct meme acc on twitter and no one knows its him

very very proud of himself honestly

almost exposes himself in a video because he was editing a meme he takes his meme lord position seriously

Jisung

he doesnt really know what hes doing so just posts like most of stan twitter does

joins in on all the quiz thread trends

interacts with the fans, hes became a nct fan acc of himself without realising

people think hes a sasaeng because he posts unreleased photos and is at the same events

he comes clean and does a space to reveal its him and gains millions of followers

[mavcancees]

Have you by any chance taken a look at r/dwt2 recently? I'd really like to hear your thoughts on the posts over there about Dream's interactions (or lack thereof) with the fanbse rn and the big content drought. I think you always have realistic outlooks on this stuff and it would definitely help some people on here that I know are trying not to feel too down about it. (100% /nf)

hello dashboard

this is the longest post i have ever written. remember, this is how i personally see things. you don't have to agree with all of it or at all. still, long as fuck. you have been warned

i do not use reddit and i especially don't visit spaces that are a vent melting pot. not something i want to encourage by giving it clicks

however it is a topic i do have thoughts on, of various kinds, so walk with me on this one. i believe the position is in right now is 1 - one he hates, 2 - one he was forced to be in and 3 - one he's too afraid to get out of

you can understand my second point easily, i don't think there's any argument about it. if it was up to him, the current state of his content would not be like this, not talking quality, but in the general lack of it. he had to reorganise his life around october 2022 to the point he considered quitting. that's not an easy thing, logistically an otherwise, and for dream out of all people to have even think about it, it must have been a tremendous feat to get out of that spot mentally. then he could not make usmp happen. dealing with the hate. gumball. releasing the video. these aren't things that he could predict, and did shape the timeline of content release

i don't want to say i feel a bitterness about it from him, because he's not a bitter person. but when he talks about the things that weren't, i do feel that sad yearn, the-one-that-got-away-esque vibe in the conversation. which is completely understandable, because those are his projects he put time thought money and love in. and then he gets the carpet pulled, and now we're here. i feel people forget that a bit you feel sad about all the content, imagine him. we knew about usmp for tops 3 or 4 days, he had been working on it for months. empathise with him a bit and understand this is not a place he wants to be in either

my general "critique" of him regarding the situation is the third point. i say fear, i don't exactly know if that's what it is, and just as above, i understand why it would exist yes, obviously the face reveal and meeting fans and having the parasocialism hit you in the face changes a lot. i understand, say, walking back from his "Stans" video, i understand walking back on the nsfw, i get those things. but we're a bit past that point now, where denouncing that parasocialism is turning into what i see as becoming the cc he has said he doesn't want to be

and i say this as someone that has been around for a WHILE. he has in the past spoken negatively about the path he is taking. the cc that's removed from his audience, the famous guy that has all his accounts managed, the creator with the over scripted, over hyped, removed of all spontaneous dynamic content that ends up either underdelivering, or not delivering at all. ( note here, i don't think dream will ever underdeliver. not in his dna. simply describing that general persona )

he's not there yet, at all, but he's edging close enough where people are starting to feel uneasy about it. some quietly, some in an understanding tone, others demanding and demeaning. and i feel at every step of walking down this figurative path, my first and second points ring very loudly. he doesn't really want this, he never asked for any of this. he has been forced into this position. but now he's on this weird stasis chamber of sorts, not fully in it but also doing nothing to get out ? i see the absolute love he has for music. i see how much he loves minecraft, and his fans, and the weirdness of it all. but he's alienating himself from it and not particularly putting up any sort of fight. not even raising his voice. nothing at all

no snapchats no tweets no likes no replies no streaming no casual popping into a friend's stream. and i am happy for him ! let me make that super clear ! taking time for himself, chilling, doing things in private. i'm glad he has that space now, and he's enjoying a life he very much could not have for years

but the very overwhelming, and genuinely new type of quiet makes that uneasiness i mentioned before grow exponentially. this isn't a quiet we're used to, and i have been through many. i am personally fine with it, i am not the one to demand content, i can simply do something else. but it does worry me he's kind of just taking the punches, and is taking them so much to heart he has removed himself this much from the public, in a seemingly unnecessary fashion. and here's the real issue for me on that third point, and where that worry comes from, and maybe in part curiosity ?

he's sure of what he's doing. at least it appears that way. i don't see all the puzzle pieces, and i am concerned at the picture they paint. is he scared ? is he tired ? is he waiting it out even more ? should i be concerned ? is that maybe too parasocial, or am i just so put off by the change of scenery and the lack of explanation for some of these changes ( like i said, i understand some, but others seem out of left field ) , it that it makes me reasonably worried

still. i get it

i criticize some of it, because yeah, i am selfish, i want the content creator that i have been following for five years to be, at least in part, the one i subscribed to. i want some content, any content, at all

i also understand the road to here was not the one neither of us expected it to be, and it changed him more than it changed me

i am a passive onlooker of his life, and i have no right to make demands to what he gives me access to. i only can complain as much as it is appropriate, which is vocalising my feelings of missing him, because he has given me a piece, and now i don't quite get why it's gone. previously he would have told us why, now it's dead lining

but it's his life. it's his time. it's his piece. and it's his choice. he can do with it as he pleases. i can be unhappy. i can have issues with it, i can worry. i can demand explanations. i am not entitled an answer. the second people understand that last part, they will have a much better time dealing with the quiet

i miss him, i really do. i understand why he's gone. i don't approve of how far he's taking it. but that doesn't fucking matter, because whatever the reasoning is, if he is doing it this way, it's for a reason that's enough to him. and i'd say, we have to trust him with his own life

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

~ Alastor x Lilith! Reader x Lucifer - Part 1 ~

Word Count: 2, 920 words

Warnings: None, yet ;3

I happily write requests but if you commission I'll finish your story first and I'll be quicker with it ;3

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Summary: You decide to finally confront your husband and his arch nemesis on their rivalry and the three of you manage to come to… a solution of sorts.

Corrections will be made later and marked when fully done.

Also... I haven't caught up on the new season so no spoilers or you will be blocked ÙwÚ all I've seen was moments and scenes.

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There was something that you tended not to look forward to and as much as you loved your husband you couldn't help but be annoyed at the current situation.

The radio demon just happened to be working with Charlie on this plan to make hell better and being the mother that you are of course you wanted to support her endeavors even if you yourself didn't see much reason to this one in particular.

Months ago Charlie has decided to open up this…hotel, a reserve in a way for souls of hell to redeem themselves in order to hopefully reach heaven. As silly as it was, you loved your daughter and so of course even as Lucifer, your darling husband, made his little comments about it here and there, you both loved your child for the work she's put into it.

What you didn't love was watching Lucifer as he bickered with this man, fingers being pointed and eyes being rolled. They did this every time they ran into each other which was why you could only be so grateful when you weren't in the middle of such arguments.

Alastor's eyes lands on you for a moment and there's a second where the way that your eyes connect sends a spark rushing down your spine.

You glance away, there was…history there. History you didn't tend to bring up often, at all even and said history revolved around many, many long years ago where you and the said radio demon had a bit of a click. Ever since meeting Lucifer you've been able to somewhat move on, pushing what seemed to be millions of memories down and into a vault within yourself, refusing to remember and yet and refusing to fully forget.

They way he looks at you while looking over your husband makes you slowly glance away, raising a hand and lightly clearing your throat.

”Hey!” The blond ruler suddenly growls and Alastor, even with that everlasting grin on his face, manages to show displeasure as she returns his crimson gaze back to the big boss of Hell himself.

“What are you looking at?...” Lucifer now glares and you knew how he could be, knew how he was and you now carefully approach, moving to place your hand on his shoulder and he immediately seems to calm, going from baring his fangs to looking at you like you were his entire world which of course you was. There's a look on Alastor's face as he watches the exchange with narrowed eyes, a look of…bitterness as if he bite right into the ripest of grapefruits and sadly didn't have the privilege of spitting right back out. He almost looks disgusted… as if he's watching something that simply shouldn't exist.

Alastor has never went into deep detail about it but just spending all these years in hell and with them on display for all the denizens to see has always irked him, had secretly always made him want to rip his own hair out or even cut his own tongue off whenever he had the privilege of being in the presence of their affection for each other. It's the way that they speak to each other, the way they caress each other, the way they hold each other that makes Alastor think of things he shouldn't. Things he didn't want to think about like the way they probably kissed and smooched with so much romance and lust behind the mighty closed doors of their castle or the way your skin felt against his when you'd reach out for that blond fuck… or even the way that Charlie came to be.

Alastor wasn't no fool and though he felt little to no attraction for anyone there had always been something different about you, something about you that drew him in and made him want to hold on for dear life and after so many years of running from such emotions he's found that… he's in fact, not as content as he once was. Not nearly as content as he hoped he'd be after all this time.

If anything...

He's starving, itching for so much more.

“My love, my dear…” you say to your husband in the sweetest of times as you move your hand from his shoulder to his cheek, cupping it before caressing his skin and missing the way Alastor's ears pinned down is displeasure and the way his eyes narrow further.

“As humorous as it is to watch the two of you go at this do we always have to do this when you to run into each other?” You ask and honestly you're not against receiving the answer from either man. Why did they always have to do this? What could possibly be the beef they had to make their relationship this hostile? You couldn't help but wonder, couldn't help but think if there was a way to bring it to an end sooner even if just temporarily.

They both look at you for a moment and then slowly back each other for a moment longer only to look back at you with… interesting gazes. The gaze that Lucifer gave you was one that you had seen far too often now, that look of curiosity, of primal interest and you feel yourself pause for a moment. It's a look that you know all too well and yet you start to feel your cheeks grow warm.

Why was he looking at you like that right now out of all times?

You chuckle a second after, quickly turning your gaze away from him only for your eyes to catch Alastor's and you truly freeze at seeing… a similar look.

Your husband was the prince of sin himself, of lust and wanton hunger and so after all those years you had grown to understand the look well. To love it with every piece of your soul and body. What you hadn't expected was for Alastor to hold the same gaze, as if he was one step away from losing all control and for… what? For you?

Suddenly it all clicks into place and against your better judgment you manage to blush, cheeks growing warm and bright with blood. It's not the first time you've been forced to face this realization, forced to realize that while you loved your husband dearly, there was something about the radiodemon that you just couldn't shake off even after all these years.

You loved Lucifer and he loved you and you were happy, content with him. However, Alastor seemed to somewhat… haunt you at times, like an ever lingering ghost of memory who always managed to stir up emotions in you gut that you weren't necessarily ready to face.

“I think I know how we can settle this actually…” Lucifer slowly says after a moment of silence between the three of you and you feel your heart skip a beat as his voice comes out in a low coo, as if he was a snake that was currently actively whispering in your ear. You shudder and Alastor's eyes fall shut as if he's preparing himself for what's to be said next, sucking in a breath through his nose and slowly releasing.

“My love…”

You start to say…

“Since you're obviously still upset about the fact that you lost, how about we make another deal?” Lucifer hums out and there it was, the words that changed the frequency of air around you three for the rest of the day. When Lucifer made deals it was best for many not to give into them, he wasn't known as the great deceiver for no reason but there seems to be a… glint in Alastor's eyes annoyance blending in with curiosity.

“What's the terms?” He replies quickly and with what seemed to be little thought and while you're a bit confused they seem to look at each other as if speaking a secret language that only they seemed to actually understand. Your brows furrow as the continue to look at each other and just as you open you mouth to make a joke on how ‘gay’ this was Lucifer chuckles slowly and raises his hand to the radio demon with a cocky grin and Alastor takes it, roughly grabbing hold of it as if he just barely avoided the thought of breaking it and leaned down to tower over the other man even if it didn't scare the other.

“Deal.”

A gust of wind and magic swirls around them the second their hands touch, brilliant golds and crimsons filling the air around the three of them and you raise a hand, squinting and shielding your eyes a bit from the sheer power of the light.

Whatever deal they had just made was purely made off of emotions.

Pure, unbridled emotions...

You could tell, could practically taste it in the air…the blends of hunger, need, jealousy and oh it sent a harsh shiver up your spine. Something was starting to tell you that today would be a long and tiring day. You sigh softly at the two men, crossing your arms over your plush chest and tapping your nail against your arm.

You were completely lost and even so, you knew this meant nothing good.

Suddenly they both turn their gazes to you and you feel your heart skip a beat. There's a… scent in the air, one that you also knew well, one that told you that not just one… both both of these men were looking at you as if you were a female in need of companionship. You feel the light blush on your cheeks suddenly growing worse.

Lucifer breaks the silence with a chuckle, walking over to you slowly but surely, carefully pacing around you in a way that made you feel like he was examining a precious jewel, something that was so fine and so worthy of love that he just had to admire and get closer to. Just like the two of you when you first met in the garden of Eden.

“My love,” he says, practically purring and the way he sounds seems to make you feel similarly to a cat getting scratched behind its ears. “We've come to a conclusion.” He states matter of factly as he continues to walk around you before going in, wrapping a small but powerful arm around your waist and pulling you close and snug against his side.

You lift a brow and can't help the little smirk that graces your lush lips as you look down at him.

“And that would be?” You reply softly and Lucifer looks up at you like the charming man he is, those eyes looking at you like you were both his world and universe and you swoon. He's just so cute, and so handsome and… your thoughts come to a halt as a hand carefully reaches out and captures your chin, fingers gentle and firm at the same time and there's a moment of confusion until Alastor lifts your head, making you look at him now and he's allowed, had it been any other man right now Lucifer would have definitely splattered his blood against the ground you all stood on. Alastor looks at you with a gaze you don't see him with often. His everlasting smile was still on his face but strained in a way that made you blink. There's something there, something needy.

“Best man to make you cry out the loudest wins.” Alastor says in a hushed tone and you stand for a second, then two before your eyes wide.

“Make me… what?” You say as if astonished, as if not hearing him correctly. As if he had just spoken to you in a whole other language and Lucifer lets out a laugh, haughty.

Did Alastor call that an attempt at already starting this war? Please… it was practically laughable.

The blond haired man now squeezes you just a bit closer and even though he's quite a bit shorter you were reminded as you always were of why you were so in love with him. One reason out of so many others that practically shined at the forefront of your focus like a golden star. He gently caresses you now, fingers running over your hip, petting you just the way he knew you liked it.

“Make you scream, darlin.” He repeats before Alastor can beat him to it making the taller man send him a harsh glare which he ignores with a smirk.

“Best man to make you scream wins.” He practically purrs as he repeats the words as if having to explain carefully.

He looks up at you with the fondest of smiles and you're starting to feel the blush creep to your ears. Had they really made a deal on what you were starting to think they did?

Well, it wasn't like they were being shy about it and you realize that they very much are serious, the looks on both of their faces…the cheeky grin on Lucifer’s and the hopeful one on Alastor's tells you everything you need to know. Usually you weren't someone to get so flustered so quickly, so easily but somehow you managed to find yourself in the middle of such a predicament and neither man seemed like they were joking or like they wanted to let up. Even with Lucifer's grin you can tell by the way his eyes sparkle, the way he squeezes your hip, that he's very much interested in doing more than a few less than holy things to you and surprisingly Alastor seems to be running along a similar wavelength.

Just as you open your pretty mouth to ask more questions Alastor seems to lean in and you perk up, eyes connecting with his as he slowly approaches because even though there's a want, a need, he knows you are a woman who loves being able to make her own choices. He knows that even with Lucifer's ‘permission’ that you don't like fast approaches but instead ones that make your heart rush and Alastor was a man who was practically known for having such charm.

As the space between you two becomes shorter and shorter you feel like time has managed to slow down, the noises of hell dialing down to nearly nothing as he closes in.

Before you can really understand your various, rushing thoughts and emotions, you lean in with him and the second your lips touch a spark seems to explode between the two of you. You gasp softly, pulling back for a moment, looking at him with wide eyes and Alastor returns the gaze but it's… gentle, hopeful and it's a look that you've seen only very rarely on him. There's a moment when your breath seems to hitch a little and before you know it you're going back in and this time it's longer as one kiss turns into two and then surprisingly into three.

There's a distant taste of blood on his lips and being the demoness you are, the queen of demons infact, how could you not feel even more drawled in by such a taste?

He hums against your lips, taking the time to reach a hand up and grip carefully at you chin, holding you still as his tongue slowly slips out and slides over your lip.

As if the blush on your cheeks weren't bad already, they seemed permanent by the time the two of you pulled away from each other. Your mind feels foggy as inklings of excitement rush over every corner of your body.

Alastor pulls away a few kisses later and you stand there for a moment as if trying to understand just what had happened and then there's the hand on your hip to leads you to look back at your husband. You perk as if caught in the middle of doing something bad, distasteful, and it distantly reminds you or the garden. Back to when you and Lucifer had just met and when you had turned your back on God.

You remembered the feeling, the way something in your heart seemed to clench and the way your heart rushed in… fear.

But just like those many times before, Lucifer gives you a fond smile and looks you deep in your eyes and you understand that… this is okay.

They may fight but he was fine with this, fine with Alastor tasting you and fine with your conflicted emotions towards the relationship the three of you had together. He was content and you see a similar gaze on Alastor's own face, as if the two of them had come to an understanding for the first time in what seemed to be... Well, ever.

“You want this don't you my love?” Lucifer coos airily sending shivers up your back.

“For us to touch you?..” Alastor says right after as he steps just a bit closer, reaching out to brush his fingers over your cheek.

“To kiss you?” Lucifer says now as his grin only grows while his hand runs over and along your hip with what seemed to be a clear goal in mind before stepping behind you and happily wrapping his arms around your waist.

“To hold you down until you can't take it anymore?” Alastor breathes, leaning in to look you in your eyes like he simply was holding on to a glimmer of control and even though you were the Queen of Hell… The Goddess of Sin herself, you feel like a virgin being quite literally between the two of them and without much other thought you let out a shaky breath.

“Yes, I would like that… all of that, very much so.” You say and both men seem to perk at your compliance like two happy dogs before grinning.

[i-am-beckyu]

One Small Gift

HELLO! I TOLD YOU I'D POST ONE MORE FIC THIS YEAR! And I am very proud of myself for making it a Christmas centered fic! I can't believe it's actually been a year since I last posted a Christmas fic. Like where did the time go and how did this thing spawn?

I'm gonna ramble a bit more at the bottom of this fic about me and the community but lets not hold you up any longer so I give you: The Christmas Fic- One Small Gift :3 (This fic now has a Part 2 and Epilogue )

cw: fear, death mention (but no actual death), lying, panic and anxiety, fluff- Like, ALOT of Fluff, hidden identity and of course happy endings. You know, the usual angst/fluffy Beckyu fic :3 word count: 8351

Disclaimer! This story is based on the characters of the Dream SMP and not the real life content creators. Anything that occurs in this story is purely fiction and should be treated as such. Thank you.

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Cold

Why did the walls always have to be so damn cold? 

Tommy’s mind couldn’t help but linger on the thought, as the Borrower shivered making his way through the maze that was the inside the house walls.

Human Beans invented heaters AGES ago for the insides of their houses to keep warm, so how was it that the inside of the walls were still always so flippen freezing? 

Would it kill them to think of the little guy freezing their butt off just once?

Well no, maybe not. But it certainly would Tommy. 

As much as the young blonde would love to cuss at the home owner for not giving him a proper source of heat, the Borrowers code quite literally FORBID them from ever telling a Human of their existence. Not to forget the fact that it would mean doom for a borrower if they ever did. All the horror stories of Borrowers being squished or experimented on from the elders to go off being proof enough.

Death by Human Beans?

HA! Absolutely NOT!

That’s exactly the reason why he is trying to get supplies for the Winter to warm himself up, before it gets even colder! 

Tommy grumbled to himself as he ducked and weaved past forgotten cobwebs about how it was such a pain to be in this position in the first place. He’d had a perfectly fine home in a tree nook in the forest that had always remained nice and cosy warm during the colder months. 

Even if that meant he’d been living on his own, Tommy had been happy living as an Outie borrower for as long as he could remember. Well at least he had, before some tall, pretentious brunette freak decided his home would be the perfect tree to cut down and drag all the way back to his stupid freezing cold house. 

But it gets better, because even though the main part of his home was actually still intact under the now stump, the Bean still took the top half of the tree- 

With Tommy still inside it! 

They flippen took HIS house and wrapped it in a net; effectively trapping the poor borrower and then strapped it to the top of their car and drove hours and hours to a Human Town with him hanging on for dear life.

And that’s not even the worst part because not only did the flippen Bean steal part of his house, but then they had the audacity to cover the tree's dying corpse in fancy decorations and shining lights. 

Like seriously WTF?!

A Bean kidnaps him from the only place he’s ever really known and covers his once thriving residence all merrily in ornaments, while he’s forced to flee his only real known place of safety with nothing but the clothes on his back, and the few supplies he did have stored in the upper levels of his now dying home. He hadn’t wanted to leave, but it was the only choice he really had. 

Stay in the tree and get caught, or try and survive in the Beans' walls until Winter passes.

He chose the latter of course- (It’s not like staying would have helped him anyways) 

Getting down from the top of the tree had been, well- less than a fun time for the Borrower. The big purple bruises across his back were a throbbing reminder from his impact on the floor at times, but he managed. 

Instead, Tommy had started to navigate his temporary ‘soon to be home’ in the walls getting an idea of the layout and where the best places were to borrow from. He just had to make it through the Winter and then he could go home. Trying to get back to his nook now would be impossible with all the snow cover on the ground, but he’d get back to the forest even if it killed him.

Which might be the case soon if he doesn’t get some new clothes and heat source quick.

That was the main issue with being kidnapped after all. You only have what’s on your back and well, Tommy hadn’t exactly been expecting to get yoinked away in his scrappy T-Shirt and shorts. He had proudly made them himself with the few scraps of fabric he’d managed to find from some Beans that had been passing through years ago on a camping trip, but the fabric was light, and not made to be worn in such cold conditions. 

He’d only meant to go up and check what the heck the loud thumping outside his tree was like any normal person. He was expecting a deer or maybe a bear using it as a scratching post, not a Bean cutting their house down and taking him along with it. You don’t exactly have time to think about putting on proper clothing when your everything is at stake.

So that was step one: Find some material and make some clothes- a jacket the top priority.

Tommy is very thankful that he had his borrowing bag on him, that he still has his self made needle and some old thread so he at least didn’t have to start from nothing. Finding the material hadn’t been too difficult to locate either. When he first scouted the place, he discovered pretty quickly that the Bean had a habit of leaving stuff all over the place, so borrowing supplies hadn’t been difficult to do without being noticed. It’s how he found the most perfect fluffy woollen red sock to make a coat and blanket from. He would already have it now though if the Bean hadn’t come back before he could swipe it.

The Borrower had tried to come back for it later, but the Bean had decided it was time to clean their room up because he had some guests coming for this thing called ‘Chris-mass’- whatever that was- and the sock was gone.

So instead he grabbed what he could and made his way back to the walls with just enough fabric to make a new pair of pants and some crackers for dinner.

But it still didn’t fix the whole freezing situation.

What Tommy really needed was a candle. 

To a Human Bean it may seem to be an insignificant source of light, but to a Borrower it could literally be the difference between a warm nights sleep and becoming a Borrower popsicle! But that was easier said then done because all the usual spots Beans would normally keep candles, were replaced with flippen electric ones!!!! 

What’s wrong with fire on candles!? Why would you want a fake candle that just flickers and produces less light than a real one?

That or something for a bed. At least that way he’d have a comfortable place to sleep and trap his own body heat.

He really wishes he could have taken those socks…

As if this Bean wasn’t bad enough, not only did they lack the materials Tommy so desperately needed, but they wouldn’t shut up talking into the black box (a fone he thinks it’s called from memory) to other Beans with how excited they were about them coming to stay for the Hole-lid-days and spend time huddled together by the fire or something dumb. 

“Come on Dad! Let me host. If you let me host, I’ve got the coolest surprise planned for you and Techno I swear!! Plus don’t you want to come and see me?” 

Lucky prick. Got a Dad and a brother…

Now don’t get him wrong, Tommy is a big man, if not the biggest man to ever exist and he doesn’t need anyone. But he also couldn’t help but long for someone to share the cold season with like the Beans did. It had been so long since he’d seen another Borrower like himself and though he’d never admit it, living alone did get a little bit lonely sometimes. It would be nice if just once he could share a night cuddled up close to a loved one, and just bask in each other’s company. 

But Tommy didn’t have time to be sentimental about things he’d likely never have.

He needed to find a way to stay warm and get warm now.

But the universe decidedly hated Tommy because, tonight was apparently December 24th-

Chrisymiss Eve.

Tommy had been here about a week or so and in his short stay still wasn’t 100% sure what this whole Khrislermas was, but it appeared to be a BIG deal to the Beans. 

Apparently, all the Beans get together whether it’s family or friends to spend time together and exchange gifts. It’s about being thankful for what you have or whatever and something about showing how much you love someone by giving and receiving presents. 

Tommy thought it was actually quite a nice thing the Beans did and wished that Borrowers had something similar themselves in their culture. However, there was one thing he still didn’t quite understand about this whole holiday thing.

Who the heck is Santa Claus?

He’d been taking some more crackers the Bean had left out from the kitchen while this ‘tv show’ played on the Bean's big Black box that was talking about this Santa guy. Apparently, he was some elusive, big fat man, dressed all in red with a big white bushy beard, who climbed down the Beans chimneys, and left gifts for all the little boys and girls of the world. He had this list too that knew if you’d been naughty or nice and would leave the good children gifts and the bad children coal in their stockings. 

Children could write letters to Santa or he’d visit and children could sit on his knee and ask him for a gift they would like and he would deliver the toys to children all over the world on Christmas eve when everyone was sleeping, only to have disappeared by daybreak.

Tommy hadn’t thought much of this Santa at first- not when it was just another Bean to avoid. That was until he learned two very important details.

1- Santa delivered presents to ALL children of the world. 

And 2- Santa wasn’t meant to be seen by Humans either.

So not only did this Santa guy literally just give out free gifts, but Tommy literally had a way to get exactly what he needed for the winter!

All he needed to do was talk to Santa and he’d be saved! 

Now you might be thinking: But Tommy, you said it yourself. Santa isn’t meant to be seen by anyone so what makes you the exception? 

Simple.

Borrowers aren’t meant to be seen by Beans and neither is Santa.

Which means just like Borrowers, Santa must not want to be caught (which if he thinks too hard about it makes sense since he literally breaks into houses but anyways) and unlike with Beans, there is no rule that says Borrowers can’t see Santa!

All he has to do is wait for Santa to visit Crystamas eve, and then he can ask for his gift! Santa probably even knows what he wants, being made of magic and all! He just never knew Santa existed so he’s never asked for his gift before! 

If he were a more greedy Borrower, he could ask for so much more to make up for all the years he never got a gift, but that would probably put him on Santa’s naughty list. And while coal would be good, Tommy doesn’t exactly want to burn the house down with him inside it. So this was his best shot to get exactly what he needed. 

The hard bit though, was waiting for Santa to arrive. That meant not only having to be out in the living room where the fireplace was, but also meant he had to wait for the Bean to fall asleep. Which really meant that it would be AGES before Santa would come because the Bean of the house was terrible at sleeping at night. 

The man literally had no sleep schedule and would stay up till terrible times in the morning before drifting off. Normally that wasn’t much of an issue for the Borrower having observed this early on, but right now it was very much a hindrance because it could be hours before they went to bed. 

It also seemed that they wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon, because the amount of energy and excitement the Bean had displayed the whole day about his family coming home was overwhelming. He’d come home at one stage with this big bag of stuff talking on the black box about how his super cool surprise was coming along and how it would be awesome since they let him host Chrimpmas- whatever that meant. 

Tommy had hoped with the excitement of the holiday they’d have been ready to pass out by now, but he couldn’t be more wrong with the amount of commotion he could hear from down the hall- and that’s through the walls. 

At least he could observe everything going on from his place on the bookshelf. It was right next to a small crack in the wall he could just squeeze through, but it gave him a good view of the living room but also enough cover from prying eyes unless he made his presence known. However, being out of the walls had one difference the blonde hadn’t accounted for.

Heat.

The fire had been lit and was keeping the whole room nice and toasty warm compared to the harsh bite the walls somehow managed to keep. The whole atmosphere made him almost want to curl up and fall asleep. It had been so long since he’d been able to just enjoy the warmth in the air and not be shivering to keep alive.

Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt if he had a nap before Santa arrived.

Just a quick one….

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Tommy was awoken to a rather loud THUNK as the Borrower shot up from where he had fallen asleep atop the shelf. 

It took the blonde a moment to realise where he was and not panic about being out in the open before his eyes settled upon a figure. 

Sprawled out across the floor in a heap of red and white was the jolly big man himself.

Santa Claus.

The one and only.

“Santa!” Tommy yelled excitedly as he hurriedly manoeuvred to stand. “Santa you came!”

Santa’s head snapped up from the floor alarmed, as they pushed themselves to stand and take a defensive stance.

“Who said that?!” they shouted, looking around wildly panicked. “Show yourself!”

Tommy giggled to himself. Santa was so silly. 

“Up here Santa! I’ve been waiting for you.” The blonde waved as the man's head turned and their eyes fell onto his small form. 

Tommy grinned at the magical man taking him all in. 

Just like the figure on the big black box, Santa wore a big red coat with white fluff lining the ends of his sleeves. A big black belt was strapped around their waist, fastened with a fancy golden buckle and sturdy black boots on their feet to keep out the snow. Their head was adorned with an oversized big red hat, with a giant white fluffy pom pom on the end, and they had a long white beard that travelled down their chest. And last but not least was a pair of gold rimmed glasses perched on the tip of their rosy red nose which accentuated their big brown eyes that were staring at him in wonder. 

Huh. 

He could have sworn that Santa's eyes were blue.

“I can’t believe you came! I wasn’t sure if you would since I never sent a letter but you must have known anyway cause here you are!” The little borrower stated excitedly as Santa removed his glasses, and rubbed his eyes in disbelief. 

“I’m so glad you’re here! I really need my Crimpmess present.” 

“I’m sorry you’re what?” the man’s eyes furrowed in confusion as they processed what the younger had said.

“My present!.” Tommy rolled his eyes. “You know, the whole reason why you’re here.”

Santa didn’t exactly seem like he knew what was going on. Right now all he was doing was staring and Tommy was getting a bit annoyed. 

Was that not why Santa was here? To deliver his present like the show had said?

Tommy huffed annoyed he had to explain all this. Wasn’t this like his job? He should know!

“I’m sorry,” Santa began slowly as if trying to process. “I didn’t actually know you were here.”

“Why else would you have come then?” Tommy crossed his arms unimpressed. “I’m the only kid here, but don’t tell anyone else I said that. I’m a big man! The biggest ever!”

This finally seemed to warrant a different reaction from the older, as they looked the boy up and down unimpressed by this so-called ‘fact’.

“A big man huh? You look more like a child. What are you- 12?”

Tommy feigned a gasp, grasping his chest offendedly. “I’ll have you know I’m 14 and the biggest man alive! I’m only a child for the purpose of getting my gift tonight and tonight only!”

Santa couldn’t stifle a laugh as he watched as the small child stomped his foot in a mini tantrum at being called 12. It was endearing in a way but he still wasn’t sure how to proceed with a tiny child standing on their bookshelf.

“Well whatever you say I guess, but I still I didn’t know you were here.”

The blonde shrugged before moving closer to the shelfs edge. “Ah well it doesn’t matter. You’re here now so I’d like my gift please! You have it right?” 

“If I didn’t know you were here, then how would I have your present with me?” Santa asked.

Well he did make a good point. It’s not like he sent Santa a letter and he hadn't met him to tell him like other human bean children had until now. 

“Oh right. Guess I better come sit on your knee and tell you what I’d like than.” Tommy stated matter of factly, as the small Borrower moved to the edge of the shelf and stabbed his hook into the wood, quickly jumping off to descend on his rope to the ground.

“Wait, DON’T DO THAT!” 

The blonde yelped in surprise, moving instinctually to protect his ears at the sheer volume the man shouted, in turn losing his grip on his rope, quickly plummeting down to the ground below. Santa lunged forward with an outstretched hand as the boy slipped down the rope at a rapid speed, catching him before any real harm could be done. He semi slammed into the wall, clutching his hand to his chest as they did so before quickly unfurling their hand.

“Oh my prime! Kid- kid are you alright?” Santa said frantically checking over the boy he now held in his palm. 

Tommy shook his head, dizzy from the sudden force that had rammed into him only moments ago. He tried to steady himself grabbing, onto the nearest thing his hand could find as he begun to regain his bearings.

Oh he was going to ache tomorrow…

“As soon as the world stops spinning, yeah.”

Santa sighed in relief as Tommy allowed himself to regain focus. It was then that he really took note of where he was. 

Normally, if a Borrower was sitting in the hand of someone almost 100x his size, he would be kicking and screeching to get away. But this was Santa Claus’s hand and Tommy felt only wonder. 

It was like nothing he’d ever experienced before. The thing he had grabbed onto was apparently Santa’s thumb and it was almost as big as his head! Even if it was a bit weird sitting on the leathery texture of their skin, the warmth radiating beneath him was heavenly, and the way the man’s fingers curled slightly over him protectively felt nothing but comforting. 

Santa hadn’t moved since he caught Tommy mid air, and was staring at Tommy as if they would disappear. They seemed stuck on what to do next, but also amazed he was sitting there at all.

“You alright there big man?” Tommy raised a brow confused at why the man would act this way. Santa was literally made of magic and had flying reindeer for goodness sake! A borrower existing surely was no cause for such amazement? There were surely way more interesting magical things to see than a lowly Borrower like him. 

(But then again, he was a pretty poggers Borrower if he did so say that himself, so staring could be justified for that reason)

This finally snapped the old man out of their wondrous stupor, as they squinted their eyes open and shut with a quick shake of their head. 

“Uh yep. All good um. Let's- go sit down. Yeah- yeah, let's do that.” Santa said, confirming more to themself than Tommy.

Santa brought the boy protectively to their chest to brace them before they moved away from the book shelf, smoothly walking over to the couch where the old man sat down ever so slowly to not jostle their small passenger. The second they were bending down to sit though, Tommy was launching himself off Santa’s palm for his knee as the bearded man frantically tried to stop them in their escapade.

“Kid, would you stop doing that? You’re going to hurt yourself!”

“Pfft please. This is nothing compared to how I got down from that tree over there.” The boy grinned as they pointed to the far corner of the living room.

The man's head followed to where the boy was pointing, the Christmas tree displayed proudly in a large pot tied with a red bow, small lights flickering on and off in changing patterns.

“Tree? You mean the Christmas tree?”

“Yep!” Tommy stood proudly popping the p. “I had to get down somehow and my hook would have gotten stuck in amongst the branches if I had tried to abseil down. So I did what any logical Borrower would do and jumped.”

“You jumped?!” Santa’s eyes widened, as he looked back and forth between the boy and the top of the brightly decorated tree. He grimaced, imagining the boy throwing themselves from the upper branches like they had done only moments before onto his knee. 

What was with this kid and being so reckless?!

“You jumped from the top of the Christmas tree!? Why were you even there in the first place?”

Tommy rolled his eyes, crossing their arms in front of their chest. 

“It’s all that stupid Beans fault.”He huffed annoyed. “He just came waltzing into MY forest, decided to be very rude and put their grubby hands all over MY house wrapping it up in some ugly net, only to cut it down with me still in it!”

Tommy didn’t notice the way Santa’s brows furrowed and their expression changed to one of horror as he continued to ramble on.

“They literally kidnapped me, Santa! They’re so lucky that the main part of my house is under the tree’s trunk and not the higher branches because I swear I would have murdered that Bean in their sleep by now if they had!”

Tommy was very pleased to have finally gotten to vent some of his frustrations to someone other than his internal self, but now he was finished he had a good chance to register the other’s reaction.

Santa looked horrified.

His eyes seemed glossed over as if he was holding back tears, and one hand slapped over their mouth, the other gripping their wrist tightly in an attempt to ground themselves. 

Uh shit. He hadn’t meant for that to happen…

“Uh but don’t worry Santa!” Tommy was quick to add. “ I wouldn’t actually do that. That would be a bad thing to do and put me on the Naughty list! I promise I won’t actually murder anyone!” 

Phew, that was a close one. He couldn’t jeopardise his only hope with a silly joke!

Santas’ face had yet to change and Tommy subconsciously started to fidget feeling nervous to how the older was reacting. Maybe he had blown it and now he was on the naughty list. Another glance at the old man's face seemed to confirm those fears.

He’d blown it.

His one shot at survival and he practically threw it all away with a vent. No wonder he ended up all alone.

“Please don’t put me on the Naughty list Santa. I need my gift.” Tommy spoke timidly. “I didn’t mean it.”

“I- no. No you’re not on the Naughty list.” Santa dragged his hands over his eyes a few times strained. “I'm just trying to process. It’s more of the whole kidnapping thing. ” 

If Tommy had been paying better attention, he may have noticed the few stray brown curls poking out from under the man's hat, but he was more thrown by their following question as the magical man continued on.

“If you were in the tree, why didn’t you say anything?”

Tommy drew a deep breath, before sighing as the boy shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Because Santa, Beans aren’t supposed to know that Borrowers like me even exist.”

“Beans?”

“Human Beans Santa. You know, big people like you, but not magical and stuff.” The Borrower explained. “There’s no way I could tell the dumb Bean he was cutting my house down! Do you know what Beans do to Borrowers like me?” 

“Um no?” Santa fiddled with his hands as he looked away, eyes downcast to avoid the youngers gaze as they continued.

“They get rid of us. To them we’re just pests or things to be used.”

Tommy hugged himself tightly, anxiety pooling in his chest for the first time that night. He wished it wasn’t true, but Beans just held far too much power for their own good. Their greed often outweighing their need to do good without reward. 

“I’d rather risk jumping out of a tree than ever fall into the clutches of a Bean.” 

“But how do you know that?” Santa suddenly said, muscles tensing as they clenched their hand into fists. 

Tommy flinched at the sight of hands so close. Closed so tightly that he couldn’t help let slip the thought of himself in the mercy of their grasp, begging to be freed like all the stories had said of the Borrowers trapped in agonising pain. The man noticed his discomfort, and immediately loosened their fists, moving their hands away and under their thighs so as to not startle the boy any further than they already had.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Santa said with a sense of guilt.  “But I just- How do you know that though? Who says that they would have hurt you if you had just made your presence known? You wouldn’t have had to jump or gotten hurt.”

Santa turned away sheepishly, whispering sadly. “They could have helped you.” 

Tommy swallowed hard, his shoulders sagging as he observed the sad look Santa had as they stared at the Christmas tree. It was obvious they were blaming themself for what had happened. He was far too kind for that.

“Santa, it’s not your fault.” the boy sighed, “Every borrower is taught this from birth. It’s a known fact that Beans are all cruel, power hungry beings. They always want more and just take, take, take.”  

“But what if this ‘Bean’ didn’t know.” Santa shot back, causing the Borrower to falter. “What if you had said something? They would have stopped and left you and your house alone? How do you know they wouldn’t have helped you?”

“Because Santa,” Tommy turned and faced the man head on. “That’s just how Beans are. To them, we're just another thing to take and control.” 

Tommy wanted to believe Santa, he really did, but it was hard to just ignore years of being brought up to beware Human Beans and their cruelty. He’d seen it even from when Beans had once come into the forest with their fire sticks, and took down a friendly deer. It was unnecessarily cruel and was all the convincing Tommy needed to deem all Humans bad.

Santa nodded sadly in some kind of understanding, but Tommy couldn’t understand why Santa looked so hurt. It wasn’t his fault the Bean took him and his home, but he seemed so convinced that hiding and not asking for help had been the wrong thing to do. 

He thought they were the same, that if Beans caught him on Christmas Eve, then something bad would happen to him like it would for Borrowers. That’s why they had to stay a secret. Why no one could know they were here. 

But Santa wasn’t a Borrower who lived in hiding unknown. The Beans knew about the jolly, present giving man that only appeared in December. 

He could live among the Beans and it would be fine if he asked for help. Everyone liked Santa. He didn’t take things just to survive. He gave toys and gifts so he would have no worries about the repercussions of taking a paperclip just to get around. He wouldn’t have to worry about Beans hurting him if something went wrong. He would just use his magic and be fine.

It was Santa’s choice to stay hidden as an extra precaution to protect that same magic. 

“But you’re different from the Beans Santa.” The boy perked up instantly remembering why he was doing this in the first place. “You only come out of hiding at Christmas and everyone knows who you are! You only hide to keep your magic safe from Beans so they can’t have that too!” 

The man gave a small smile as the boy continued to ramble, pacing back and forth on his thigh as he did so.

“But I don’t understand why you give children presents when they already have so much!” Tommy stopped, his lips pursed together as his voice dropped to a whisper.

“Unlike me.” He confessed quietly, lifting his head to meet Santa’s sympathetic gaze. 

Santa was staring at the young boy again, leaned forward in concern listening as the blonde  continued to share his story.

“It's why I need my gift Santa.” Tommy wringed his hands together with a nervous glance to see Santa’s reaction who nodded in approval, gesturing for him to continue. 

Tommy steadied himself.

Now or never.

“I was brought here with basically nothing. Forced to move into the Beans walls or risk being seen. I’ve barely been able to get anything for basic survival and the walls are freezing!” 

Tommy shivered remembering the way the air had nipped at his nose as he struggled to keep warm. Clutching himself tightly in a poor attempt to retain any kind of body heat. The one time he went up stairs without his coat and of course he gets kidnapped.

He needed this. 

More than anything.

.｡❅*⋆⍋*∞*｡*∞*⍋⋆*❅｡.

Wilbur had just wanted to have the perfect Christmas.

It was his first time hosting and had decided he HAD to go all out.

More decorations than his little house needed both inside and out, homemade hot chocolate from scratch and had promised his Father and brother a very special Christmas surprise if they let him host.

Their first ever living Christmas tree and a surprise visit from the Big man himself- Santa Claus.

He’d done a bunch or research into the best spots to go where he could get a tree and quickly had been recommended from several sites about the fir trees in Logstedshire, and quickly made the trip out to find a tree.

What the websites failed to mention, was that said fir trees might be inhabited and the home of tiny people that are terrified of Human Beings. 

So if you asked: No, Wilbur was not having a good night realising he had kidnapped a child that was deathly afraid of him and only okay right now because he thought he was the real Santa Claus. 

In a way, it was a good thing the kid hadn’t realised yet, because if Wilbur had never dressed up in this silly costume, he probably would have never known about the child freezing to death in his walls.

The child was so cold despite their lively spirit when he’d caught them after they launched themself off the top of the shelf. The fact it wasn’t the first time they’d thrown themself from such a height made Wilbur sick knowing had they not been lucky, could very well not have made the long fall. But the fact the kid had been struggling, terrified and afraid in his walls when he could have helped had the guilt eating him away as the boy rambled on.

They were so sure of themselves with the cruelty of humanity too that they had him so on edge. If the blonde knew he was really the guy that had cut his tree down, he very much doubted they would be this enthusiastic. He was talking about how much he needed his gift- the gift he still had no clue what it was, but just hearing the little blondes tale, and seeing how thin his clothes were had Wilbur making a very long list of things he needed to get to help the kid out. 

A kid which he still doesn’t know the name of.

The boy's eyes had brightened, as he bounded up and down on the balls of his feet eagerly, talking about what this gift would mean for him. He was actually quite endearing despite their seemingly dire situation.

“If I tell you my gift, then you can give it to me now and I’ll actually have a chance to survive the Winter!” He explained excitedly, grining.

Wilbur pushed down his anxiousness for the boys well-being. They had already suffered enough from his mistakes. He didn’t want them to suffer any longer than they had by them accidentally discovering the truth.

“What’s your name kid?” Wilbur mentally slapped himself  that he hadn’t asked sooner.

The tiny boy chuckled to himself as they crossed their arms. “Oh come on Santa, you know my name don’t you? You have a list with every child's name on it.”

Ah- right. Santa did have that Naughty and Nice list didn’t he? Curse Santa for having to live up to magical standards.

“Uh- I came here in such a rush, I um- ah must have left my list back at the North Pole.”

“So?” The boy argued, raising a brow. “You’re magic. Don’t you just know?”

Did he say endearing earlier? How about difficult for making him use his brain at 9pm at night. (Shut up. Don’t judge him for it)

“Well you know there’s like 2 Billion kids in this world and I see them all in one night. You don’t expect me to remember every name without my list do you?”

The kid hadn’t seemed to account for this, and thought it over before shrugging in agreement. 

Oh thank goodness for kids being young and naive. 

“I guess that’s fair. But you’ve got a s*** memory in that case Big Man. Getting old.” 

Actually, make that an annoying gremlin.

“I think if someone wants their present, they should be more careful about insulting their elders.” Wilbur teased with a chuckle. The boy rolled his eyes with a groan. 

Okay, an endearing gremlin then.

“Fiiiiiiiiine.” they drawled letting their arms drop to their sides before extending their hand up in greeting. “The name’s Tommy.”

Wilbur carefully lifted his arm up and slowly extended his pinky finger out for the boy to take in an oversized handshake. 

“Nice to meet you Tommy.” His finger dwarfed the boy entirely, his pinky finger only slightly shorter than the boy's total height, but nevertheless, Tommy took the tip and shook it lightly.

“Now, why don’t you sit down and tell me what it is you’d like for Christmas?”

Wilbur couldn’t help but smile at the little boy excitedly sharing in exact detail what he wanted. What the Borrower wanted wasn’t even that difficult to get, and he knew exactly where to find it. Tommy continued to ramble on for a bit longer about what he had been doing since coming here and Wilbur made mental notes of the few places where Tommy talked about entrances in out of the walls for future reference.

He was going to have to look out for Tommy from now on and if he wanted a shred of hope in getting him to trust him as Wilbur, he was going to need a plan.

“So could I have my gift now? I would really love it now and you still have a lot of other houses to visit tonight right?” Tommy asked innocently.

Wilbur really didn’t want to stop talking to Tommy. Tommy trusted the magical Santa Claus; not regular Human Being Wilbur Soot. He knew that if he let Tommy go now, it was unlikely he would see the kid again, but if he didn’t leave as Santa now, they would most likely get suspicious, realising he was a fake and panic. 

Wilbur sighed as he brushed a stray hair of fake beard from under his cheek.

“I- yeah I guess so. Best get you to bed then too.” 

“Awwww but I’m not sleepy yet!” The blonde pouted. “This is normally when I’m awake so it would be a crime to make me sleep now.”

“Well good little girls and boys go to bed when they’re told if they want to stay on the nice list.”

“You’re not the boss of me!” Tommy stuck his tongue out in defiance and Wilbur had to bite his to stop himself from bursting out loud laughing. 

This kid was going to be the death of him he swears.

Wilbur extended his hand to the Borrower, keeping it steady as he waited for Tommy to climb on. He’s still a little huffy at first realising there was no room for argument, but climbs on anyway, sitting down in the middle of Wilbur’s palm bracing themself before he moves.

The brunette curls his fingers over the boy slightly, bringing his hand to his chest protectively. He tries not to linger too long at how it felt to hold an entire person in one hand for the second time tonight before moving to stand. 

Steadily, Wilbur makes his way over to the book shelf and cautiously raises his hand up for Tommy to climb off of. He sets his hand down on the wooden surface and Tommy takes no time in hoping off to stand, waiting expectantly for his promised present.  

“Okay I need you to close your eyes just for a second.” Wilbur asks the boy who quickly covers his eyes with his hands, only to peak out from behind his fingers seconds later.

“I mean it Tommy. Keep them closed.”

“Ugggghhhhh Fineee!” the boy said huffing, but relented nevertheless. 

Wilbur quickly whirled around and crouched down beneath the Christmas tree, snagging a gift from the floor and hastily tearing the gift tag labelled- Technoblade; from the gift before setting it next to the small borrower child. 

“Okay, you can open your eyes now.” 

Tommy removed his hands and squealed in delight, quickly reaching down to hug the gift. 

“Oh thank you Santa! You really are the most poggers man ever!!!” Tommy spoke rapidly, smiling so much his cheeks hurt. “Well after me of course, but only by a little bit!” 

Wilbur chuckled as he gazed affectionately at the blonde hunched over the brightly wrapped gift. “You’re welcome Tommy. I’m glad you like it.”

The boy quickly stood, and started hauling the gift to the crack in the wall, as they tried to shove the gift through. Unfortunately while the crack had been enough for Tommy to squeeze through, it wasn’t quite wide enough to let the present go in without getting a tad scrunched up and paper torn. 

“Um, Tommy? Is there perhaps a bigger entrance I could take this too?” Wilbur suggested, cringing slightly as the boy gave another hard shove on the gift, intent on getting it through no matter what.

“It’ll fit. Just gotta keep pushing it in.” 

After a few more attempts, the boy did in fact give up and relented their efforts allowing Wilbur to pull the now crumpled present back out from the crack, instructing him to take it to the kitchen and place it behind the toaster, assuring him he would get it before the Bean woke up explaining how the electrical socket actually came off as a secret entrance.

He offered to take Tommy over to it too, but the stubborn boy refused, insisting that he had done enough and needed to hurry up and deliver presents to the other children before the night was over.

Taking one more long look at the boy, Wilbur watched as Tommy disappeared through the crack into the walls, the sound of tiny footsteps pitter pattering away before Wilbur himself quietly crept back to his room before he removed the Santa costume and flopped down onto his bed. 

He’d just met a tiny child.

A tiny child trying to survive in his walls.

That was deathly afraid of him.

Quickly Wilbur shot up from his bed snatching his phone from the night stand; a plan forming in his mind. The screen read 9:31 pm before he hastily unlocked it and dove into his contacts, quickly stopping on a profile of a girl with light pink hair, dialling their number shortly after.

The phone rang twice before a woman answered on the other end.

“Hello?”

“Niki? Hey! How’s the holidays going?” Wilbur asked as he grabbed his coat and gloves from the wardrobe.

“So I need a favour…”

.｡❅*⋆⍋*∞*｡*∞*⍋⋆*❅｡.

Tommy awoke warm for the first time that week.

He opened his eyes blearily, almost willing himself to fall back into dream land before his eyes snapped fully open. Tommy rubbed his eyes a few times, eyes going wide trying to comprehend that this was real and not just a dream as the thoughts of the previous night played through his head.

He was in his Christmas present: A brand new pair of bright red, fluffy woollen socks- the most perfect bed ever and exactly what Tommy had asked for. He had basically run to get his gift as fast as possible, before hauling it back through the walls to a space close by the bookshelf; the space seemingly much more homely after last night's introductions. 

He hugged the woollen fabric tightly, smiling as he remembered the soft smile Santa had as he watched him go and how kind and gentle he had been with him the entire time.

The Borrower was so pleased and grateful that he had been able to meet the Santa Claus, and would cherish the magical night forever.

He stayed snuggled in his new bed for a little while longer before his stomach grumbled in protest that he should go and have something to eat. Albeit a little grumbly, his hunger eventually won out and Tommy made his way through the walls back to the kitchen so he could gather some food before the Bean woke up.

Stealthily, he removed the electrical socket, expecting to make it a quick supply run; stepping out into the open before freezing in surprise.

Laid out in a neat pile behind the toaster was a small stack of brightly wrapped gifts all wrapped in different coloured and patterned paper, and right in the middle, an envelope with his name written in gold cursive. Tommy smiled brightly, as he eagerly ran forward to the awaiting stack of gifts, quickly grabbing a gift reading the label. 

To: Tommy From: Santa

Tommy denies that he cried that day. 

That he took each gift home and opened each one oh so delicately, afraid if he didn’t they might just disappear, happy tears trailing down his cheek as he opened a gift revealing a beautiful, blue knitted sweater- and in just his size. 

His tears didn’t cease as he opened the other gifts revealing several new pairs of warm winter clothes, new rope and hooks for climbing, some tea candles with a tiny piece of flint and steel to light them, and the tiniest iced cookies he had ever seen. He could actually hold this in one hand like humans did and he had a whole bag of them!!! His prayers had been answered and he couldn’t be more thankful.

Soon, the only thing that remained was the envelope.

He dried his face as best he could, doing his best to not smear any tears or snot onto the pristine surface as he opened the envelope, revealing a card with a picture of glitter candy canes decorating the front. 

Settled back into his new bed, Tommy opened the card and read the message inside.

Dear Tommy, It was lovely meeting you and getting to know your story. I figured you might  like some extra gifts as well to help you be more comfortable in Wilbur’s walls. I think you should try talking to him.  You might be surprised. Sincerely, Santa Claus

P.S- He’s not as scary as you think.

Tommy’s smile became puzzled as he reread the last few lines.

Who the heck was Wilbur?

Was that the name of the Bean that lived here?

Oh come on, that's not fair! How come Santa knew Wilbur’s name but not his!

He grumbled a little bit at the thought, but his mind kept drawing back to the last line of the card.

‘He’s not as scary as you think.’

“Hmpf, you keep saying that.” Tommy grumbled. 

What was with Santa’s insistence on this?

As much as he wanted to be annoyed at Santa for putting forward such a ridiculous idea, Tommy decided to drag himself out of bed and to the book shelf crack. The Bean had gotten up not long after Tommy had made it back to his new home, but he’d been a tad too distracted to really care about how slow and heavy they had been trudging about this morning unlike their usually poised self.

Currently, said Bean was sitting on the couch, the exact same spot he and Santa had been last night, absentmindedly staring at his hand.

How could Santa think this guy was any good? They had kidnapped him unknowingly, almost let him die from hypothermia unknowingly, destroyed the top of his home unknowingly and Santa still thinks they won’t hurt him?

Okay so maybe it wasn’t their fault all those things happened just because they didn’t know he was there, but that doesn’t mean they’re not still very capable of hurting him for having to do all those things. But then again, Santa knew who was naughty or nice. And he wouldn’t ask him to do something that would endanger his safety if this ‘Wilbur’ guy wasn’t a good person right?

Tommy observed the Bean a little longer, as they ran their thumb over their palm. Their normally neat curly hair was all over the place and he could have sworn there were black bags under their eyes from lack of sleep. They suddenly turned their head and were staring straight at his crack by the book shelf. The Borrower was certain they couldn’t see him from the couch, but ducked back just slightly in case.

The Bean simply sighed as a small smile graced their features. Tommy was right about the black bags. Bean did not look like they had slept at all. 

He thought back to what Santa had said. 

I think you should try talking to him.

They certainly didn’t seem dangerous. Maybe they really weren’t bad like the Jolly man said?

But was it really worth taking the risk and talking to this guy?

Before he could dwell on it for much longer, the door bell sounded and Wilbur snapped his head to the sound before standing and stretching; their limbs popping and cracking slightly from their limited use. Before he left the living room, the man stopped and stared at his crack once more. Tommy didn’t dare breathe as they simply smiled and shook their head, before exiting and headed towards the front door.

Tommy allowed himself to exhale as the sound of footsteps got further away.

“Weirdo.” Tommy muttered to himself as he pushed himself back from the crack and began to head back to his bed for a well deserved rest.

He’d think about what Santa said, and just maybe he’d talk to this- Wilbur. If not, he hoped he'd meet Santa again so he could thank them in person.

Once he was back in his bed, Tommy quickly slipped in snuggling down, allowing himself to drift off to the chatter of beings much larger than himself from beyond the walls.

“Wil! So good to see you! It’s been ages!”

“Hi Dad, thanks for letting me host. I’m so glad you and Techno could make it!

“So are we, but you look like shit mate. Up late again? Wouldn't be related to that surprise you were telling us about?”

“You could say that…” 

.｡❅*⋆⍋*∞*｡*∞*⍋⋆*❅｡.

Tommy never did meet Santa Claus again.

The card proudly on display in his new home, a secret hope he would one day and a constant reminder of what Santa had asked him to try.

And maybe one day, Tommy would finally take up the old man's advice and go and speak to Wilbur, and discover perhaps they may have been right.

Maybe then he’d finally have a friend to keep him warm during the holiday seasons and to rely on like he had wished. 

One that seemed to always know just what he needed despite never telling them, and was very insistent about never wearing Santa costumes.

No matter how many times a little boy begged….

 ˗ ˏ ˋ ★ˎˊ ˗   ༺𝓜𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂༻༺𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓶𝓪𝓼༻  ˗ ˏ ˋ ★ˎˊ ˗  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was a lot of words....

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING TO THE END! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it and it means a lot you read all the way through <3

Tag List: @local-squishmallow @brick-a-doodle-do @justarandomsloth @veryfunkycheesecake @munchkin1156 @kayla-crazy-stuffs @da3dm @eiscreme135 @orchid-harmony @the-tiny-lurker @colossal-red @nobodywritingao3 @nata2343 @bad-author777 @crazyfoxgirl10

And cue rant: Honestly you guys have no idea just how much you all mean to me an in this community and the impact you've had on me in the last year alone. I could not be more thankful for being apart of this and getting to know you guys. Getting so back into writing has been really good for me and rekindled something I love so I can't thank you enough.

And even though I know I've been a little quieter online, I'm still here lurking about and working on projects. A lot has happened in the last few months alone and I'm quite happy that I'm limiting myself to be a bit more healthier with my online habits.

Anyways thanks so much if you read this far!

Thanks to my Beta readers @a-xyz-s squishy and munchkin for reading this for me, and I wish you all a very safe and wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!

-Beckyu ❤️

[sonkitty]

Trickery Post #0 - Introduction

Hello world.

I'm Cathy.

This series of posts I'm going to do was originally planned as a YouTube series, but for various reasons, that idea has not worked out.

I watched Good Omens season 1 and season 2 roughly in late October 2023. While I left the season 2 ending unsatisfied, I still managed to become quite obsessed with David Tennant as Crowley.

I love his portrayal of Crowley so much.

And, through this obsession, I found these very interesting-to-me and very silly puzzle games that exist in Good Omens 2. These games give me a way to keep the obsession going and busy.

This series is going to be about me playing those games, especially the earlier stages.

So, here are a few things I think you might want to consider before you decide if it's worth the trouble of reading these posts.

There are multiple reasons I'm doing this series but a really big one is the situation with season 3. Due to the allegations against Neil Gaiman, season 3 was changed from planned as a six-episode series into a 90-minute movie. I was very upset to learn that news myself because I was really looking forward to season 3 as 6 episodes.

Now a part of me is thinking that's why I should let go of this idea. The games can be null and void. They can be cancelled in this process. They can be retconned out of existence since they are hidden games to begin with. They can be undone. Another part of me is, "Actually, that's all the more reason to do it."

That is to say, the games could very easily be lost and left without being found beyond what work I've already put into them and posted already here on Tumblr.

So, that's something, right? I can just leave those Tumblr posts intact, and the work is there, even if season 3 leaves whatever was originally intended for the games behind. They're already here.

That's all true.

But...in the process of how I've found it is best for me to do things on Tumblr, something ends up lost in the progression of my play. I have found it best to just post some thoughts and ideas, think on them, and then a lot of times, go back and edit those posts to something I hope is more coherent and presentable for my overall point. By doing that, the actual sense of play is lost in translation because the mistakes and realizations as they happen are not left intact.

So, this series is a way for me to commemorate that play because it meant a lot to me as it happened.

I want to store these memories sooner, rather than later, before time helps them slip away from me that much more quickly. I think YouTube would have been more suited to do such a thing, but the work involved is more than I can give at this time in my life.

I am not making season 3 predictions. Conclusions I made are now all the more available to be ignored in season 3 for the sake of simplifying the story or just making it new and different from what it was going to be anyway.

All of that is to say that, I'm making this series for me, even if I'm inviting you into see what it meant to me in these posts.

So, if you don't like the series or feel like it has nothing of any value to you, please move onto other things as soon as you realize that's how you feel about the posts.

Even though this series is focused on my own personal experience, I will be talking frequently in the second person or as "we" and "us" because I like describing the play as a shared experience. It's more fun for me that way.

...

We are going to be playing a long game. These puzzles took months to find and solve.

Don't expect to get things right away. If that happens, great. If it doesn't, please keep in mind that many solutions I found took time to sink in as I found them.

Alright, so I'm going to talk about me because even I forget that I had these parts of my life leading into how I am able to play the games the way that I do. Based on general observation, no one else seems able to play quite like I do because I have a knack for finding certain important names, phrases, and ideas.

I am not someone who has ever worked on a movie or TV show or any entertainment field really as a professional. It's something I used to want to do, especially as an actress. I took drama in high school. I wasn't very good, but my teacher saw potential in me, so I was still invited to go from Drama 1 to Drama 4, instead of Drama 2 after my first year in the class. In my senior year, I was assistant director for a student-directed play at my high school. I was also in charge of lighting. In addition to that, I was assistant to my drama teacher for his first two periods. My acting did improve finally by my senior year, and my teacher said as much. I had a Technical Theater class as well.

I took honors English in high school.

I declined a theater scholarship to USC when I realized I was too scared to move from home.

I ended up not pursuing a career in the entertainment industry at all.

Instead, I ended up in Information Systems as a major while remaining in my hometown. I won't give my actual title, but it might be easiest to understand that I'm a programmer and a bit of a low-rank programmer at that. So far as my IT experience goes, no one has ever worked under me, and I don't mind that in the least. Even so, I have nearly 20 years of experience in what amounts to problem-solving.

When I'm not working at my job, I've had hobbies that go along the lines of playing video games, watching anime, writing fanfiction, and reading books. I don't watch movies nearly as much as I used to and the same goes for TV though my obsession before this one with David Tennant as Crowley was for Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

I've also worked on audiobook readings of fanfic, both some of one I wrote and some of my favorite overall series, Austraeoh, by Imploding Colon aka shortskirtsandexplosions.

All of these traits inadvertently amount to someone who can put together some pieces of a puzzle to recognize a game, ask some of the right questions, and then actually find some of the right answers.

Now another thing about me is that I go through obsession phases. I used to be really obsessed with Devil Jin from Tekken. He used to be my favorite fictional character for many years. That changed in 2018 when Rainbow Dash suddenly became my new favorite.

Crowley's a bit of an odd situation because my favoritism for him strongly stems from the actor, David Tennant. It's not just Crowley, and it's not just David Tennant. It's the combination of these two that I love so deeply. David Tennant is perfect for Crowley.

Plus, these games help keep the obsession going.

So, a few things about my approach to the storyline and the characters.

In October 2018, I saw a promotional image for Good Omens that featured David Tennant with black-feathered wings. You do that, and you have my attention.

I decided to read the book. I had mixed feelings about Neil Gaiman's writing but had heard nothing but good things about Terry Pratchett's work.

I left the book with mixed feelings too. Some of it was funny. Some of it was really racist and took homophobia rather lightly, I thought. I was a bit bored with the kids (The Them) and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I thought Crowley and Aziraphale were a lot more interesting than everyone else. I was already fond of the idea of David Tennant playing Crowley, and thought oh yes, he will be perfect for this character.

I wasn't sure if I would watch the show because it might be too gross for my liking.

Five years passed, generally.

In October 2023, I finally decided to watch the first season of Good Omens. I was satisfied.

After that, I hesitated on watching the second season since I was at least aware the story was incomplete.

I read up on spoilers and decided to give it a go.

The ending didn't really sit right with me. I was annoyed and confused.

But, annoyed and confused as I was, I could not get enough of David Tennant as Crowley. So, I went to Tumblr to get some pictures and could at least read about what other people thought.

Here are my own thoughts on the types of fan interpretations I like of Crowley as a character.

I highly prefer to think of Crowley as clever, creative, resourceful, and imaginative. I do not think using the term "idiot" is cute or funny. I have no affection for it myself. I accept that it's part of the show and that Crowley uses it the way he does, but I don't like it. Over the years, I've read that "idiot" is an ableist slur. While I've tried to get better about my avoiding use of the term, I haven't quite reached a point where I find it my business to tell other people they shouldn't. Sometimes, in context, I get it. Even if the word weren't considered ableist, I generally don't like to affectionately insult characters I like anyway.

For me, these games show that Crowley is a more active and strategic participant in his own story than an initial viewing of season 2 might lead one to believe.

I don't really like Aziraphale much in general, so I'm perfectly good with reading posts that are more critical of him as a character. I don't seek them out, and I actually don't see them much to begin with.

My bias is rather obvious and plain so that I don't like to read those posts on Crowley. I don't say, even on my blog, that people shouldn't. I just don't want to read them. It's really not hard to criticize Crowley. I'm happy to rise to the challenge these games bring in seeing something more to him instead.

Even though I don't like Aziraphale, I appreciate the pairing itself. I also think it's important that the characters have some difference, some separation from each other as people, and I do think season 2 provides that.

If you want spoilers on the games, you'll find them all over my blog. A good central place to find them is my Good Omens 2 Compendium post. And if you don't want those spoilers on the games, they're hard to avoid, but we will be moving forward through this series of posts while trying to minimize or avoid them all the same. As noted earlier, that's to help show the journey itself, to get a sense of the play that's been lost from me just shoving so many answers up front in my collection of GO2 meta posts.

The series is planned to be 10 posts long (0-9).

...

We're going to be using our imaginations and playing with words to progress through the puzzles. (For reference: Trickery)

[mariacallous]

Two years ago when “Michael,” an owner of cryptocurrency, contacted Joe Grand to help recover access to about $2 million worth of bitcoin he stored in encrypted format on his computer, Grand turned him down.

Michael, who is based in Europe and asked to remain anonymous, stored the cryptocurrency in a password-protected digital wallet. He generated a password using the RoboForm password manager and stored that password in a file encrypted with a tool called TrueCrypt. At some point, that file got corrupted and Michael lost access to the 20-character password he had generated to secure his 43.6 BTC (worth a total of about €4,000, or $5,300, in 2013). Michael used the RoboForm password manager to generate the password but did not store it in his manager. He worried that someone would hack his computer and obtain the password.

“At [that] time, I was really paranoid with my security,” he laughs.

Grand is a famed hardware hacker who in 2022 helped another crypto wallet owner recover access to $2 million in cryptocurrency he thought he’d lost forever after forgetting the PIN to his Trezor wallet. Since then, dozens of people have contacted Grand to help them recover their treasure. But Grand, known by the hacker handle “Kingpin,” turns down most of them, for various reasons.

Grand is an electrical engineer who began hacking computing hardware at age 10 and in 2008 cohosted the Discovery Channel’s Prototype This show. He now consults with companies that build complex digital systems to help them understand how hardware hackers like him might subvert their systems. He cracked the Trezor wallet in 2022 using complex hardware techniques that forced the USB-style wallet to reveal its password.

But Michael stored his cryptocurrency in a software-based wallet, which meant none of Grand’s hardware skills were relevant this time. He considered brute-forcing Michael’s password—writing a script to automatically guess millions of possible passwords to find the correct one—but determined this wasn’t feasible. He briefly considered that the RoboForm password manager Michael used to generate his password might have a flaw in the way it generated passwords, which would allow him to guess the password more easily. Grand, however, doubted such a flaw existed.

Michael contacted multiple people who specialize in cracking cryptography; they all told him “there’s no chance” of retrieving his money. But last June he approached Grand again, hoping to convince him to help, and this time Grand agreed to give it a try, working with a friend named Bruno in Germany who also hacks digital wallets.

Grand and Bruno spent months reverse engineering the version of the RoboForm program that they thought Michael had used in 2013 and found that the pseudo-random number generator used to generate passwords in that version—and subsequent versions until 2015—did indeed have a significant flaw that made the random number generator not so random. The RoboForm program unwisely tied the random passwords it generated to the date and time on the user’s computer—it determined the computer’s date and time, and then generated passwords that were predictable. If you knew the date and time and other parameters, you could compute any password that would have been generated on a certain date and time in the past.

If Michael knew the day or general time frame in 2013 when he generated it, as well as the parameters he used to generate the password (for example, the number of characters in the password, including lower- and upper-case letters, figures, and special characters), this would narrow the possible password guesses to a manageable number. Then they could hijack the RoboForm function responsible for checking the date and time on a computer and get it to travel back in time, believing the current date was a day in the 2013 time frame when Michael generated his password. RoboForm would then spit out the same passwords it generated on the days in 2013.

There was one problem: Michael couldn’t remember when he created the password.

According to the log on his software wallet, Michael moved bitcoin into his wallet for the first time on April 14, 2013. But he couldn’t remember if he generated the password the same day or some time before or after this. So, looking at the parameters of other passwords he generated using RoboForm, Grand and Bruno configured RoboForm to generate 20-character passwords with upper- and lower-case letters, numbers, and eight special characters from March 1 to April 20, 2013.

It failed to generate the right password. So Grand and Bruno lengthened the time frame from April 20 to June 1, 2013, using the same parameters. Still no luck.

Michael says they kept coming back to him, asking if he was sure about the parameters he’d used. He stuck to his first answer.

“They really annoyed me, because who knows what I did 10 years ago,” he recalls. He found other passwords he generated with RoboForm in 2013, and two of them did not use special characters, so Grand and Bruno adjusted. Last November, they reached out to Michael to set up a meeting in person. “I thought, ‘Oh my God, they will ask me again for the settings.”

Instead, they revealed that they had finally found the correct password—no special characters. It was generated on May 15, 2013, at 4:10:40 pm GMT.

“We ultimately got lucky that our parameters and time range was right. If either of those were wrong, we would have … continued to take guesses/shots in the dark,” Grand says in an email to WIRED. “It would have taken significantly longer to precompute all the possible passwords.”

Grand and Bruno created a video to explain the technical details more thoroughly.

RoboForm, made by US-based Siber Systems, was one of the first password managers on the market, and currently has more than 6 million users worldwide, according to a company report. In 2015, Siber seemed to fix the RoboForm password manager. In a cursory glance, Grand and Bruno couldn’t find any sign that the pseudo-random number generator in the 2015 version used the computer’s time, which makes them think they removed it to fix the flaw, though Grand says they would need to examine it more thoroughly to be certain.

Siber Systems confirmed to WIRED that it did fix the issue with version 7.9.14 of RoboForm, released June 10, 2015, but a spokesperson wouldn’t answer questions about how it did so. In a changelog on the company’s website, it mentions only that Siber programmers made changes to “increase randomness of generated passwords,” but it doesn’t say how they did this. Siber spokesman Simon Davis says that “RoboForm 7 was discontinued in 2017.”

Grand says that, without knowing how Siber fixed the issue, attackers may still be able to regenerate passwords generated by versions of RoboForm released before the fix in 2015. He’s also not sure if current versions contain the problem.

“I'm still not sure I would trust it without knowing how they actually improved the password generation in more recent versions,” he says. “I'm not sure if RoboForm knew how bad this particular weakness was.”

Customers may also still be using passwords that were generated with the early versions of the program before the fix. It doesn’t appear that Siber ever notified customers when it released the fixed version 7.9.14 in 2015 that they should generate new passwords for critical accounts or data. The company didn’t respond to a question about this.

If Siber didn’t inform customers, this would mean that anyone like Michael who used RoboForm to generate passwords prior to 2015—and are still using those passwords—may have vulnerable passwords that hackers can regenerate.

“We know that most people don't change passwords unless they're prompted to do so,” Grand says. “Out of 935 passwords in my password manager (not RoboForm), 220 of them are from 2015 and earlier, and most of them are [for] sites I still use.”

Depending on what the company did to fix the issue in 2015, newer passwords may also be vulnerable.

Last November, Grand and Bruno deducted a percentage of bitcoins from Michael’s account for the work they did, then gave him the password to access the rest. The bitcoin was worth $38,000 per coin at the time. Michael waited until it rose to $62,000 per coin and sold some of it. He now has 30 BTC, now worth $3 million, and is waiting for the value to rise to $100,000 per coin.

Michael says he was lucky that he lost the password years ago because, otherwise, he would have sold off the bitcoin when it was worth $40,000 a coin and missed out on a greater fortune.

“That I lost the password was financially a good thing.”

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

Hey so uh

If you want a small peek into the American healthcare system

I currently make about $18 an hour before tax. That’s much higher than the minimum wage in my state, which is $9.65.

I have ADHD, for which I am medicated. I take 20mg of Vyvanse (lisdexamfetamine). I still use my parents’ health insurance, because it’s MUCH better than anything I could get. Under their insurance, my monthly prescription is $30. Less than 2 hours of work for me, or just over 3 hours for someone at minimum wage.

Without my parents’ insurance, that same ADHD medication at that same dosage would be $454. Over 25 hours of work for me, or 47 hours of work for someone at minimum wage in my state.

Federal minimum wage is $7.25. Without insurance, that person would have to work almost 63 hours for one month’s worth of Vyvanse. That’s almost two weeks of full time work (assuming 32 hours a week is full time) going just to one medication, every month, before tax.

Thankfully, I can manage okay if I don’t take my meds. I don’t get significant withdrawal symptoms, maybe because I’m taking such a low dose and I frequently forget to take my meds anyway. If I don’t take them, I struggle more to focus or take care of myself, but I won’t have a medical emergency or worsen existing health issues. This is not the case for everybody! Think of how many different health conditions require continual maintenance and medication, such as insulin injections for diabetics or blood pressure medication for those at risk of stroke. Even for just my medication, not everyone gets so lucky. Some people experience significant withdrawals when they miss a day, like my cousin, who gets migraines if she forgets her meds. Some people would have serious consequences if they forgot to take their meds; I know of people with ADHD who can’t cook unmedicated because they’d burn the house down. If you can’t maintain enough focus to cook or grocery shop, how can you eat?

Point being, medical costs are so hecking high, and I am terrified of turning 26.