#man...I'm ready to learn
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Victor Wembanyama takes a call from his new head coach, Gregg Popovich 🤳🏽📲 @spurs"I'm ready to learn, man...I'm ready to learn #NBADraft #nbadraft2023presented by State Farm on ABC/ESPN #victorwembanyama #wembanyama #wembanyamahighlight #wembanyamaspurs #2023nbadraft #nba24highlights #nba #nbahighlights #viral #coachpop #coachpopovich #greggpopovich #fyp #fup #phonecall
#Victor Wembanyama takes a call from his new head coach#Gregg Popovich 🤳🏽📲#@spurs"I'm ready to learn#man...I'm ready to learn#NBADraft#nbadraft2023presented by State Farm on ABC/ESPN#victorwembanyama#wembanyama#wembanyamahighlight#wembanyamaspurs#2023nbadraft#nba24highlights#nba#nbahighlights#viral#coachpop#coachpopovich#greggpopovich#fyp#fup#phonecall
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So much love and recognition to the people who don't know how they feel about recovering. To the people whose scars are fading away, and there's a sinking feeling, despite knowing that it's a good thing. To the people who miss when they were "worse," when they felt "broken." To the people who mourn losing their coping mechanisms, even the ones that were destructive, scary, or unpleasant. To those who feel guilty they're healing because their past self wasn't ready.
Whatever it is, there is nothing wrong with any of those feelings. It's a natural reaction, something you don't have ultimate control over. There is nothing shameful about yourself, and I admire the strength it takes to recognize how you feel, even the parts that do feel like the "wrong" reaction to a Good Thing.
#mental health#self harm tw#self harm mention tw#sh tw#mental health recovery#mental health support#i love you i love you i love you#i admire you and empathize with you and want to be your fellow man. i want to share this wold *with* you#and that includes sharing a world that you aren't sure you deserve or are ready for#the world can wait. humans have been here for hundreds of thousands of years. it can wait#when i think about all this what makes me feel better is remembering how many billions of people have lived#and it makes me feel better to know that there has never been a problem too big to have - to uniquely awful#i have my own conflicted feelings about this because objectively i am healing#but it feels like i have boarded on land after surviving the worst trip to sea ever...#...a trip that was plagued with my ship being flung through hurricanes and lightnight and i'm only manning a sailboat...#...and i have found land and that land is good...#...but my legs feel like they will give out underneath me because this is solid land that i have never stood on...#...and you get used to the constant seasickness and sealegs and wondering *how* you'll make it out - If you will...#...the peace feels like a ruse at times because all you've known was chaos. but it's a good ruse and a comfortable one#and so you learn i guess to sink into the comfort like a spft feather pillow
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things i do not need: more wip ideas
and yet
#i'm being bombarded with tommy in peril spec/headcanons and it's giving me Thoughts#because buck would HAVE TO be there#right?#he wouldn't let it go#whether the 118 is on scene or he goes rogue#he would BE THERE#helicopter crash? buck is digging through the rubble#car crash? buck has the jaws of life ready to go#held at gunpoint? buck is biding his time out of sight until he can rush in#because he WILL save his boyfriend#but there's the gerrard of it all to consider#buck going rogue could only lead to gerrard threatening to write him up or fire him or reprimand him in some way#we saw what happened in hen begins with the car accident#so of course buck goes off to save his boyfriend#and whoops it was the right call! and he earns another commendation! how about that#and gerrard is livid#of course#that man turns 15 shades of puce within the first five seconds of learning buck has run off#but of course the firefam has his back#the city too really#so that's finally FINALLY how they get rid of gerrard for good#all because his ex-subordinate was in trouble and his current subordinate is in love with him#anyway#had to get that out somewhere that didn't make it turn into YET ANOTHER WIP#because jfc send help#911 abc#evan buckley#tommy kinard#the ally and the beast#bucktommy
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American tasked with making an analogy: "Is like highway"
#this isn't even hypothetical; this me watching something and being like 'this analogy is so fucking american'#though if he were a true american he'd have made it about burgers#find a way to make the electrical conductivity of various materials into a burger metaphor#as burgers are objectively superior to highways#can I eat highway? no#can I eat burger? not only yes; but I can eat so many different styles of burger#anyway; joking aside man I wish I had good burgers; if I were rich that's what I'd eat on the grounds it's filling and I can always eat one#pasta I'll end up getting tired of eating before I'm done; like I'm hungry still; but eating is miserable#not so with the humble burger#I'd really like to learn how to make a good burger; cause I can tell in this house it has to be me... no one else is neurotic enough#like I have exacting standards when it comes to burgers (which aren't even that high; just... higher)#and then I also want to make an arsenal of toppings I'm ready to use#your classic burger; your teriyaki and pineapple; bbq (with crispy fried onions if I can manage that); etc#cause the best thing about a burger is that it's a vessel for flavor; not unlike chips#the same burger can have so many different tastes depending on how you dress it up#anyway; foolish american man; making highway analogies instead of burger analogies#I can literally always go for a burger... I just rarely can afford a luxury like that
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So the guy who rainchecked on Monday saying that he wasn't feeling well wrote back after I'd already gone to bed last night, saying that he was feeling better and apologizing for not replying for a bit. I wrote back mid-morning today and now once again... nothing. I think if I don't hear back from him by sometime tomorrow I may just unmatch and move on. As always, I'll lie to myself and say it was his loss 🙃
#dating nonsense#i just wish motherfuckers would say what they mean#if you're not into it just say so like damn don't waste my time#and i was trying to give him the benefit of a doubt because he seemed super earnest and enthusiastic#but maybe that was an act#or maybe he just realized after the date that I'm awful#because that seems to happen pretty fuckin' often#someday perhaps i will find a way to break the second date curse I am under#or perhaps not#damn man I was ready to go with this one too#so tired of this shit#dating app hell#every time i let my guard down or start to hope even a little i fucking regret it#mr. gr#when will i learn my lesson and stop trying
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today it's been one year since my """"lesbian"""" ex girlfriend broke up with me to download a dating app in order to meet a man and have kids with him and pretend she's never dated me at all. this post doesn't have any point at all i just wanted to share the fact that i once dated a woman who called herself a lesbian and who broke up with me to download a dating app, meet a man and have kids with him
#she's actually been a great girlfriend#she's done some fucked up things but i enjoyed our time together and will always be fond of these memories#but she's done fucked up things. and calling herself a lesbian only to break up with me in the middle of the night with a text#and then never talking to me again#to join a dating app in order to marry a man and have kids with him#is kind of fucked up lol#it would have hurt if she had told me she was bi but the fact that she said she was a lesbian makes it even worse#she didn't tell me why she broke up by the way i learned about it months later because she said it in a discord she forgot i was in too#anyway#i'm finally ready to date again if anyone is interested zjdhdh#***never talk to me again. sorry
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My favorite moment in Gordon Ramsay's Hotel Hell series is the moment where an owner presents a new herb to Gordon and it turns out to be cannabis. Like, before the reveal, his curiosity is piqued. He's full-on "I want to learn", chef brain working, especially when the owner talks about being able to cook with it. You can hear it in his voice, that curiosity and interest. It's just a tiny but beautiful moment, a glimpse of a man who at his heart does love food and cooking. It all goes away once he learns it's weed, but beautiful moments never last forever
#saiyuri prattles#hotel hell#I'm watching that episode again#Gordon was so excited about a new herb#He was ready to learn something new from a old man living in a hut
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[ID: a black and white animatic based on the owl house set to "Letter to an old poet" by Boygenius. End ID]
Not sure when/if I'll finish this (I have the rest planned out!) BUT I liked it too much to just sit on it forever!!! So take this messy work in progress. She's not perfect but she makes me Feel Things
(sorry about the lack of ID, I don't know how to write them for videos! If you have any suggestions/want to give it a go, feel free!)
#the owl house#toh#uhhh who's relevant to this? a lot of characters appear#luz noceda#hunter toh#emperor belos#philip wittebane#yeah they're kinda the centerpieces of it i think#most frames are pretty on the nose in terms of their relation to the lyrics i feel? not much to explain/ramble about here#i think a lot about everything Belos put Hunter and Luz through over the course of the series. about all the things he projected onto them#Luz is pitiable to him. she delusionally thinks she's the hero of this story when it's so obviously him (sarcasm ofc)#shes his brother she's him but most importantly she's a prop in his story that makes him look better. wiser. more devoted. more rational#and Hunter is his whipping boy. all the resentment towards caleb that festers in Belos' heart makes it's way into his relationship with him#his love for Hunter is so transparently conditional. and it takes so much pushing and abusing from belos for Hunter to see this#bc it's easier to believe that it's your fault when a parent won't show love towards you. you're in control of yourself. you're fixable#but for both luz and hunter they learn that there was nothing to be fixed (at least not in the ways they thought were needed)#and. i just#AUGH#this whole animatic is an excuse to get to the line ''i wanna be/happy I'm ready''#that's what this whole goddamn show is about man!!! about finding joy and love again in the face of grief and i just.#i love it. it's dear to me#i really wanna finish this one day. for myself#okay i am going 2 go ignore everything around me and watch re4 remake livestreams
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just rambling but i think the combination of chava telling me i'm part of the tribe and then my closest friends taking the news of my conversion so well kind of shifted something in me
idk how to explain it this is just the first time i've actually felt like a jew, like i belong. like i'm somehow on firmer ground than i was 24 hours ago. i was already certain of this path but now i'm beyond that. this is it, this is my life now. this is home
#chava is the girl who already converted under my sponsoring rabbi and she also happens to also live in my town#she also said we'll start hanging out every shabbat and go to temple together#she gave me the biggest hug after we talked for almost three hours#idk man#it just feels like ive moved into the next stage#ive been ready for the mikveh since day one but i'm glad for the journey#i have so much to learn still#about judaism and myself#personal#jumblr#jewish conversion#jew in progress#jew by choice#judaism
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my trigun madness is never dead, it just lies dormant.
#waiting... waiting for me to reread the manga or rewatch the show#hey guess. hey guess what. HEY GUESS WHAT#if I learn good enough reading Japanese. maybe I could read Trigun...... IN JAPANESE....!!!!#anyway I think I need to talk to a human being I'm going crazy already. I'm ready to be done with college man
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Victor Wembanyama takes a call from his new head coach, Gregg Popovich 🤳🏽📲 @spurs"I'm ready to learn, man...I'm ready to learn #NBADraft #nbadraft2023presented by State Farm on ABC/ESPN #victorwembanyama #wembanyama #wembanyamahighlight #wembanyamaspurs #2023nbadraft #nba24highlights #nba #nbahighlights #viral #coachpop #coachpopovich #greggpopovich #fyp #fup #phonecall
#Victor Wembanyama takes a call from his new head coach#Gregg Popovich 🤳🏽📲#@spurs"I'm ready to learn#man...I'm ready to learn#NBADraft#nbadraft2023presented by State Farm on ABC/ESPN#victorwembanyama#wembanyama#wembanyamahighlight#wembanyamaspurs#2023nbadraft#nba24highlights#nba#nbahighlights#viral#coachpop#coachpopovich#greggpopovich#fyp#fup#phonecall
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okay, my plotting
#just me hi#'my plotting' i'm thinking of my independent to dos outloud bfsvh#anyWho so i've got those two revenges i've gotta finish.. and then there was one big one i wanted to do..#and then uhhh.. i Do need to get around to watching that tutorial on synfig lol#13 minute video is Nothing to me but ohhh man is it SoDaunting hhfbshh#well let me not say daunting i think i am thinking of a grueling hour-long tutorial when it's really 13 min long and i really wanna learn#this thing so hhhhhmm :^#i gotta respond to my messages..#mm i also have- oh i've gotta eat at some point let's not forget that lmao :3#gotta go through my askbox..#n really clean up my email... i love cleaning up my email :>#finish that story i was reading...#explode 4000 times bc i vaguely thought of something neat...#i think i should get into woodcarving...#no wait that's not a to-do.. maybe organize my clothes box. she is Not lookin good hhfbhsfhv#i hate doing that though so fingers crossed that ever gets done lmao#/mm yea i think i'm gonna finish up this attack rn ehe :3#there is something so nice abt already having something you like working on ready when you wake up. hellooo drawing hfbsh#okay on my way now :) gotta clean my things up#//ouh i Need to go skating at some point this month....... so bad#//okay i'm going Now hgfbshv ; toodles :3
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I try very hard to not say "I want to die" because I know it's one of those things that the more you say the more you get desensitized to it
But damn. I do wanna die.
#I'm dying squirtle...#my professor asked me to present the class I am putting togheter to him tomorrow#man I have half of it ready#my qualification exam is 60 mins of a randomly selected class#and 20 mins of my lab project#I literally have not started the lab project presentation#2 in the AM in the 19th of July the year of the lord 2024#and I don't have a crumb of this fucking thing to show him#and like. I do have the class relatively ready. but 1- it's ugly#and 2- I feel like I have forgotten what I have learned#It's gone. Someone broke into my brain and stole the chapters about microcirculation and myogenic response#I am going to present this thing to the man in about 8 hours and I still need to sleep
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being here has never felt this suffocating.. it feels impossible sometimes to continue
#i wish you'd talked to me about it instead of making a post with screenshots#because that was nothing i did intentionally... i didn't wake up thinking 'i will be racists today' it was a mistake i'm not proud of#i meant my apology and i said i understand when people are offended and that i'm sorry#i know it was wrong and i'm ready to learn from it to not hurt people anymore and idk why it warrants calling me a full racist#and i don't know how you saw that ask bc it was days (or yesterday? idk anymore) ago and you blocked me weeks (months?) ago#you'd have to actively seek that ask out or look through my posts if im blocked for you#and if it wasn't you but someone else who pointed it out for you idk how you guys got to the point of scanning my blog#if i ever hurt anyone im ALWAYS open to talking about it. i remember once using a word wrong and someone pointed it out on anon#and I've never used that word ever since#i would've immediately apologised and deleted that bit too if you'd texted me just one sentence a la 'hey that's so not okay'#and you did the same thing when i went alway last time... never communicating but going against me while so many others reached out to me#if i didn't see anything wrong about this thing now i wouldn't have made that post. im not scared of disagreeing with ppl#and i don't know what you want me to do? i didn't even know M when their thing happened and still felt bad for them.. me or those who are#defending me didn't go against M... how would you think it's the same people? idk man#idk.. i can apologise a 100 times and it won't be okay. and if i don't say anything im dodging the topic it'll never be enough no matter#what i do#reach out to me jords tell me what i can do bc i did NOT mean to ever hurt anyone and im so freaking sorry that i did#<— this msg especially to those who were directly hurt#idk what to do so you stop posting so many screenshots#if you want ppl to stop supporting me then...yeah idk guys stop supporting me — unfollow me it's absolutely okay bc i know that was#uneducated af of me#to all sweet ppl who reached out thank you i see your messages#i'll see all those that'll come too.. i just wont answer so no one drags y'all#thank you that's it#go ahead and screenshot this too. i can't do anything else anymore#also.. the only parts i edited in my apology were 'i didn't mention japanese' and 'i dont feel superior' which i did after waking up cos#my post was made at 5am after randomly waking up during the night#edit: stop sending my friends asks saying i deserved this. i never told anyone to defend me.. they CHOSE it and they're allowed to#that's it... thank you guys and ily#ill brb. not too long just a bit
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arata vc: wanna join my band?? it's the best band in the world-- uhh no we haven't played any gigs yet, but we're gonna play lots!! haha nah, we don't have a front man yet either... can you sing??
#asdfg a real conversation he probably had at the beginning :' )#thinking he does still get the band together in high school -- at least the initial ensemble bc it's always possible people left#for arata this is both a family and a dream so he'd never leave or disband but that's not the case for everyone#i also imagine this time around arata does play both bass and lead guitar and initially is the front man#BUT i think it'd be good for him to recognize that he just doesn't have the same charisma that someone else does#or maybe his voice isn't quite as magical as someone else's#it'd be a learning experience where he goes 'ah just bc this isn't my strong point doesn't mean i'm not important'#'this is my band but it's also their band and i should do what's best for it'#arata's a good egg#get ready to ramble | ooc
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me: it's fine, i'll just do a lil bullet point bio to give all the important details straight-away
me, a minute later and summoning all the spooky vibes i can muster: i'm gonna write a chapter-style bio once again and hope people read it <3
#am i gonna end up writing lore posts to explain bronwyn's history? most likely but i like the idea of her being a bit of a mystery#bc i mean! if you were to encounter her in a story she /would/ be a mystery to you#you wouldn't learn her backstory until a ways into the story or in some spinoff#i dunno if anyone else does this? but in my mind i view certain characters as either side characters or main characters#and bronwyn is definitely a side character who helps the main character in their journey somehow#but at first you're worried she's gonna be a villain which would suck bc she's likeable :' )))#but anyway asdf that kinda plays into how i'm writing her bio#bc it isn't from her pov like i would normally write! and i'm!! excited!!!#it feels really good to boot up the computer and write on here man oh man#after i'm done with her bio i'm gonna work on sending out the asks i owe and check my tag bc i'm seeing some answered asks in my feed hehe#get ready to ramble | ooc
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